#so its never truly out of my system
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have to work on a project today and an unrelated thing happened that just made me so so so so so mad (just some irl personal stuff), which normally derails my entire day because i find it so hard to come out of the angry/upset state and tend to just circle back and obsess over whatever triggered it but! today after 20 minutes of that i had a council meeting about it (<- what i call my decision making process) the outcome of which was putting it aside (!!!) for later when i could actually talk about it and resolve it (!!!) & in the meantime we could just do other stuff.
local man exuberant and jubilated to achieve feats of basic emotional self-regulation and was seen excitedly telling reporters he "never thought this day would come" and began giving a thank you speech to nobody in particular. more on this story as it develops
#good idea generator#more and more i find the most effective way to get things done is to have like. a council discussion in my head about it#my thoughts always feel really noisy especially when im upset & its easier to process what im thinking/feeling#if i imagine it as coming from many different sources with different opinions. rather than contradictory ones from me#bc then i get stressed about the contradictions. council discussion is easy bc you can let everyone say their whole perspective#so everyone gets listened to + then theres space to ask questions like 'is this helping or hurting?'#if you're wondering who 'we/everyone' is. its me. this is probably obvious but i never know what is typical when explaining how i think#or if im explaining it in a way that makes sense and is accurate to whats actually going on up there#arguably i dont think any language is ever truly 'accurate' to whats going on up there#feels like trying to see if other people see the same red as you do. what do you ask? and when you think you know how do you check?#anyway. i like the council because i used to just try to shut down negative or spirally thoughts#and it never worked ever it just made me feel more out of control. whereas now i have to listen to the whole thing#+ try to identify what the underlying fear or need is and try to address THAT#also awhile back i read the handbook for internal family systems therapy which has def influenced how i think of myself#now i have never actually done ifs or spoken to a practising professional so grain of salt and whatever#but i have found it is by far the way that makes the most sense for me personally to think abt myself and try to solve problems internally
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man i love the people im surrounded with. how did this happen. youre all so lovely😭
#istg tumblr is the BEST place to find people#all my current online friends who im close asf with are people i found on here#my girl my besties hell even some of my mutuals i dont talk to bruh#almost all of em were found on here#who knew life would turn like this bro. who knew#its grateful hours rn stfu idc#like yall. i cannot put into words how much you mean to me#im finally getting out of a mental rut thats lasted me a few months (school related) (school just ended)#and the fact YALL STAYED BY ME???#its small nd yall r gonna be like dub miguel. friends do that#but i aint never had that#like the past three years around this same time i have lost people important to me and lost core support systems over and over and over#and it feels nice that im better enough/healed enough#and surrounded by people who truly care for me#that thats not the case anymore. its so liberating and god does it make me want to cry tears of gratefulness that this is my life now#i am loved in so many ways that i cannot even recount right now.#sorry maternity classes gang (group chat) im gonna lovedump later on you tonight probably#man. mann.#this is my life#like#/pos#thats so lovely man.#wanna namedrop yall so bad bc people deserve to know you all and deserve to know how beautiful and loving you are#but ik i shouldnt for privacy😭#ily all tho#even if we aint talk much ur presence is always appreciated by me#sorry sorry ill shut up now😭#indigo speaks#yapping
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serious
i dont know how to convince my mom to not vote republican without outing myself.
its the only thing i can think of that might genuinely change her mind.
worst case scenario is that she finally knows im queer and still votes republican.
#i know my mom and i have a very close relationship but in all honesty i KNOW that if it REALLY comes down to it she WILL bail on me.#shes never been on my side for things like this. ever.#and i dont want my coming out to be over politics. i dont want to come out AT ALL.#itll be 200000x worse if the rest of my family find out though (dangerous republicans)#it might make the situation even worse than it already is.#it IS eating at me not knowing if she ACTUALLY loves me or not. the fact she knows ive involved myself in queer spaces for MOST of my life#yet STILL vehemently supports trump is. disturbing.#even more so considering our SUPPOSEDLY close relationship.#sorry i didnt mean to go this off topic. this shouldnt be about me. i just.#i dont have anyone else. i dont have anymore friends i dont have any other family to turn to. i dont have a support system.#my mom is the ONLY person i have close to me and its harrowing to think that not even SHE can truly care about me.#i dont know what to do.#hollyposts#vent
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i’m gonna be so for real, if things don’t start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth
#Rasp Rambles#vent#my mental health is already in a shitty state and i am already considering multiple different ways to end my own fucking life#suicide mention#like i’m genuinely hanging on by the thinnest fucking thread only because i have friends that care about me. i don’t want any of them to be#sad about me dying. i’d say the same for my family but i don’t they ever have really given a shit about me so what does it matter.#i’ve been forced to be the perfect; quite child my entire fucking life and that was never good enough. i had to be kind and respectful#even though none of the adults in my family ever really were that to me. and the ones who were didn’t stay that way for long. it truly#sucks so fucking badly that i can’t get away from any of them. i don’t have a job because mental health issues; some physical health issues#and my lack of drivers license and car. i can’t financially support myself. i never get to fucking leave the house and go anywhere but the#store or my grandparent’s house with my mom and sister. i have ONE irl friend who i’m not even sure considers me a friend because#we haven’t gotten to hang out much since i graduated in 2023. i have practically no fucking support system in the physical world.#i don’t get to do fun things i enjoy that aren’t internet related besides drawing. but artblock and general depression are doing their#damn best to prevent me from even enjoying the creative process at all. one may think its difficult to feel lonely when you’re living in a#house with at least one other person but its fully fucking possible apparently. for me at least. i really wish my mom would actually get me#a therapist or psychiatrist i can see in person but we all know that’ll never fucking happen because again; she doesn’t fucking care enough#to make any actually helpful attempts to get me medicated for whatever the fucks going on in this stupid head of mine.#sorry for being incredibly fucking depressed and mad at 3am. it will happen again unfortunately for all of us.
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scheduled a youtube video for tomorrow >:) it covers the basics of how my story is set up and some characters as a treat
#its so strange because i dont know where i fit anymore#im an oc artist#not a fantroll artist anymore#but my ocs still have the classpect system so most people associate them with homestuck#meaning i will never truly be free yet i do not fit into the fantroll community anymore#and i dont think of my ocs as fankids or anything#theyre just my ocs to me#my ocs with classpects#i am alone out here and thats okay
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...
#truly i have too modes. so fucking busy i cant breathe. cant think without a muddled lag. feeling motion sick as i walk#a path ive walked a thousand times over. or not busy enough. without thr pressure i revert to a liquid state and spill across the floor#i cant seem to do anything. at least when im busy i cant feel how miserable i am. at least for a little while bc i have to focus#idk how to find a balance. it always seems to be all or nothing. outside my control but directed by my control#ugh. after the month ive had the misery's caught up with me. also i havent been sleeping enough#i felt horrible all day in the lab ans i was like. i mean maybe its low bloodsugar? but then when i went home i felt 1000 times better#which is. ya kno understandable but not great#idk i can just feel the anger leaking out from under my skin. ive made the system unlivable. now im suffocating on the echo of pain#and i feel bad bc it must b all over my face. bitterness simmering in my words#i met with my boss today for a delayed meeting of a delayed meeting and showed her some preliminary data. she was excited and asked what i#felt abt it. and i dont feel anything abt it. nothing. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont fucking care#set my datasheets on fire. burn them to ash. i wouldnt feel anything#and im sure some of that sentiment came thru bc she later texted me to reiterate how cool the data is bc no ones done a study this#extensive ans i dont kno how to reply bc again i dont care. theres no breathing enthusiasm back. that dim light has been extinguished. i#look forward to never having to think abt it again.#whatever the more pressing issue is that i cant get my brain to function enough to save me from the other problems i have boiling over#just me sabotaging potential future happiness from where i sit unhappily in the present#annoying. ugh i need to sleep.#unrelated
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Idek what to say anymore if you cant be normal abt black people you genuinely need to die atp
#negative#i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate-#THERES NO SAVING SOME OF YOU PEOPLE#LIKE HOLY SHIT SOME KIDS AT THIS SCHOOL ARE GENUINELY FUCKING INSANE#yes yes restorative justice but if youre blackmailing undocumented students to pay you or youll report them i just genuinely think you’ll#mever ever ever ever have anything to contribute to society and the world would be brighter if you didnt exist godbless#I JUST THINK IF YOU EVER FEEL YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON AN AFROINDIGENOUS PERSON BC THEY ???? ASKED IF YOU LOVED THEIR SHIT???#BC THEYRE NEURODIVERGENT IN A WAY YOU CANT HANDLE????? BC THEY TELL YOU THE KPOP INDUSTRY IS ANTIBLACK????? IDK MAN#I JUST DONT THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHINGNTO CONTRIVUTE TO SOCIETY!!! I JUST THINK THE ENTIRE WORLD WOULD BE THAT MUCH BRIGHTER AND SAFER IF YOU#WERENT IN IT!!!!!!!!#I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE IT SO MUCH#this university and this country and everything that made the both of them are fucking evil and i HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!#AND EVERYONE REGENT SHOULD DIE. IDGAF!!!! IDGAF!!!!! THIS INCLUDES THE STUDENT REGENTS YOURE BOTH NARCS AND CENTRISTS#AND ALEXIS DIDNT SPEND HER ENTIRE TERM PUTTING HER GODDAMN NECK OUT#FOR Y’ALL TO BE LIKE THIS AND I HATE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SYSTEM#i need to get out of california. i just cant fucking do this anymore.#and its just so fucking bleak here. and idk talking to community organizers in california and having them say that as long as you live in CA#you’ll never truly escape the UC system and that the uc will continue to touch every part of your life bc theyre just sonfucking EVIL#and shes fucking right. why tf is there a LITERAL CHECKPOINT 30 minutes from my house now#ITS BC KF THESE MFS AND I HATE THEM#I HATE THEM !!!!! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE i just really cant i need to be back in peru#i cant be here anymore man i really cant if i dont get this out of state job im just goijg back#for at least a year#at least#i hate this school. i hate academia. let me out LET ME OUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!#v.txt#i cant imagine anything else anymore incant imagine staying i cant imagine JUST FUCKING BEING HERE its so over
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tiktok "toxic yaoi enjoyers" when the ship is actually toxic and problematic and involves continuous mistreatment and manipulation and isn't just a healthy relationship where they have mean banter sometimes
not my tiktok feed going from "BILLFORD!!! TOXIC OLD MAN YAOI😍😍😍😍😍" to "yeah i like billford but ONLY pre-portal billford and i'm not like THOSE fans who like [insert toxic/"""problematic""" thing bill did to ford] bc that's WRONG and and if you like it you're BAD" girl what do you think the "toxic" in toxic old man yaoi MEANT
#y'all will say you love 'toxic yaoi' but will then not only sanitize and woobify all toxicity out of it#but harass and bully creators who ACTUALLY make content where it's ACTUALLY a toxic relationship with ACTUAL continuous toxic behavior#(i.e. the creator of the 'property au' on tiktok that apparently got so bullied and harassed that they took it down and APOLOGIZED.)#(you would've done numbers on whump tumblr)#and i truly believe its because since the biggest demographic of tiktok fandoms is teenagers#that they're still terrified of anything 'problematic' (both seeing it and BEING it) bc its seen as a fucking social death sentence#you don't talk to people who are problematic. you stay away from and actively demean work that's problematic.#you don't deserve a support system or livelihood or an online presence or any form of fucking decency when you're problematic#'problematic' is seen by a huge majority of young fans in fandom spaces one of the worst things you can ever be fucking be in a fandom#because many. MANY younger fans in fandom spaces haven't reached the point in fandom where they just block & ignore things they find Wrong#and instead whoever is 'problematic' or makes 'problematic' work is reprehensible and needs to be harassed into never posting it again#and you'll never be able to have an actual popular 'toxic ship' where it's ACTUALLY TOXIC thrive in a fandom space#until fans in that space make peace (or at least neutrality) with the notion of being 'problematic'#and the term doesn't get innocent creators ran out of the fucking space.#tldr; if you actually want a 'toxic yaoi' ship you're going to have to be okay with things being 'problematic'.#thank you for coming to my TED talk
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i enjoyed night country and most of my criticisms with the show can be summed up more development for its female (especially supporting) characters
#STEPDAUGHTER DYKE I NEED LIKE . A WHOLE NOTHER PLOT W U#esp considering the finale like. idk. i didnt mind the ending i guess but GOD some more stuff about the women#the show was at its best. by far. when it was foster and reis going at each other#fosters character esp. like. i just...i wasnt compelled by her otherwise#i love u miss foster i think u did the best u could#idk idk it felt like they never reallllly finished the protesting arc and just kinda slammed it in#when like. i would have maybe refocused that to be the crux of the show#also i dont think that reis' sister should have died im sorry it just felt cruel#like i guessss it provided an interesting beat for reis but . like i struggle to see how it says anything that isnt kinda...bad.#or beyond like yeah the system fails ppl ! like bummer!#idk idk i never fully clicked with this show and i think it sagged a LOT in the middle#also qavvik . i love him hes such a sweetie but you could cut him out and have almost no impact on the plot#okay i think reis should have been fuckin foster BUT if u really wanna keep him#like idk he felt SO sidelined to me like he was truly there for the one shack scene to get some emotional exposition#im done im done#justice for him justice for the sister justice for the stepdaughter !!!!!#i like the tongue being ambigious btw like. a bit of mystery....as a treat#me 'i liked this show' as i list my many issues with its pacing and dialogue and plot and characters#honestly i think im riding this show's ass so hard bc i realllyyyyyy think it could have been like. life changing
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So You Want to Read More about Chinese Mythos: a rough list of primary sources
"How/Where can I learn more about Chinese mythology?" is a question I saw a lot on other sites, back when I was venturing outside of Shenmo novel booksphere and into IRL folk religions + general mythos, but had rarely found satisfying answers.
As such, this is my attempt at writing something past me will find useful.
(Built into it is the assumption that you can read Chinese, which I only realized after writing the post. I try to amend for it by adding links to existing translations, as well as links to digitalized Chinese versions when there doesn't seem to be one.)
The thing about all mythologies and legends is that they are 1) complicated, and 2) are products of their times. As such, it is very important to specify the "when" and "wheres" and "what are you looking for" when answering a question as broad as this.
-Do you want one or more "books with an overarching story"?
In that case, Journey to the West and Investiture of the Gods (Fengshen Yanyi) serve as good starting points, made more accessible for general readers by the fact that they both had English translations——Anthony C. Yu's JTTW translation is very good, Gu Zhizhong's FSYY one, not so much.
Crucially, they are both Ming vernacular novels. Though they are fictional works that are not on the same level of "seriousness" as actual religious scriptures, these books still took inspiration from the popular religion of their times, at a point where the blending of the Three Teachings (Buddhism, Daoism, Confucianism) had become truly mainstream.
And for FSYY specifically, the book had a huge influence on subsequent popular worship because of its "pantheon-building" aspect, to the point of some Daoists actually putting characters from the novel into their temples.
(Vernacular novels + operas being a medium for the spread of popular worship and popular fictional characters eventually being worshipped IRL is a thing in Ming-Qing China. Meir Shahar has a paper that goes into detail about the relationship between the two.)
After that, if you want to read other Shenmo novels, works that are much less well-written but may be more reflective of Ming folk religions at the time, check out Journey to the North/South/East (named as such bc of what basically amounted to a Ming print house marketing strategy) too.
-Do you want to know about the priestly Daoist side of things, the "how the deities are organized and worshipped in a somewhat more formal setting" vs "how the stories are told"?
Though I won't recommend diving straight into the entire Daozang or Yunji Qiqian or some other books compiled in the Daoist text collections, I can think of a few "list of gods/immortals" type works, like Liexian Zhuan and Zhenling Weiye Tu.
Also, though it is much closer to the folk religion side than the organized Daoist side, the Yuan-Ming era Grand Compendium of the Three Religions' Deities, aka Sanjiao Soushen Daquan, is invaluable in understanding the origins and evolutions of certain popular deities.
(A quirk of historical Daoist scriptures is that they often come up with giant lists of gods that have never appeared in other prior texts, or enjoy any actual worship in temples.)
(The "organized/folk" divide is itself a dubious one, seeing how both state religion and "priestly" Daoism had channels to incorporate popular deities and practices into their systems. But if you are just looking at written materials, I feel like there is still a noticeable difference.)
Lastly, if you want to know more about Daoist immortal-hood and how to attain it: Ge Hong's Baopuzi (N & S. dynasty) and Zhonglv Chuandao Ji (late Tang/Five Dynasties) are both texts about external and internal alchemy with English translations.
-Do you want something older, more ancient, from Warring States and Qin-Han Era China?
Classics of Mountains and Seas, aka Shanhai Jing, is the way to go. It also reads like a bestiary-slash-fantastical cookbook, full of strange beasts, plants, kingdoms of unusual humanoids, and the occasional half-man, half-beast gods.
A later work, the Han-dynasty Huai Nan Zi, is an even denser read, being a collection of essays, but it's also where a lot of ancient legends like "Nvwa patches the sky" and "Chang'e steals the elixir of immortality" can be first found in bits and pieces.
Shenyi Jing might or might not be a Northern-Southern dynasties work masquerading as a Han one. It was written in a style that emulated the Classics of Mountains and Seas, and had some neat fantastic beasts and additional descriptions of gods/beasts mentioned in the previous 2 works.
-Do you have too much time on your hands, a willingness to get through lot of classical Chinese, and an obsession over yaoguais and ghosts?
Then it's time to flip open the encyclopedic folklore compendiums——Soushen Ji (N/S dynasty), You Yang Za Zu (Tang), Taiping Guangji (early Song), Yijian Zhi (Southern Song)...
Okay, to be honest, you probably can't read all of them from start to finish. I can't either. These aren't purely folklore compendiums, but giant encyclopedias collecting matters ranging from history and biography to medicine and geography, with specific sections on yaoguais, ghosts and "strange things that happened to someone".
As such, I recommend you only check the relevant sections and use the Full Text Search function well.
Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Chinese Studios, aka Liaozhai Zhiyi, is in a similar vein, but a lot more entertaining and readable. Together with Yuewei Caotang Biji and Zi Buyu, they formed the "Big Three" of Qing dynasty folktale compendiums, all of which featured a lot of stories about fox spirits and ghosts.
Lastly...
The Yuan-Ming Zajus (a sort of folk opera) get an honorable mention. Apart from JTTW Zaju, an early, pre-novel version of the story that has very different characterization of SWK, there are also a few plays centered around Erlang (specifically, Zhao Erlang) and Nezha, such as "Erlang Drunkenly Shot the Demon-locking Mirror". Sadly, none of these had an English translation.
Because of the fragmented nature of Chinese mythos, you can always find some tidbits scattered inside history books like Zuo Zhuan or poetry collections like Qu Yuan's Chuci. Since they aren't really about mythology overall and are too numerous to cite, I do not include them in this post, but if you wanna go down even deeper in this already gigantic rabbit hole, it's a good thing to keep in mind.
#chinese mythology#chinese folklore#resources#mythology and folklore#journey to the west#investiture of the gods
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𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨
ᥫ᭡ 𝙨𝙮𝙥𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨: 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝… 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙞𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙡.
ᥫ᭡ 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙘!𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
ᥫ᭡ 𝙘𝙬: 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 𝙬/ 𝙖 𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩, 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙫𝙤𝙮𝙚𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙢, 𝙥𝙚𝙩 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨, 𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 216
ᥫ᭡ 𝙬𝙘: 1,4K
𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
You don't know how you ended up here.
Currently, you were standing on the steep steps of the Zen'in estate, alongside Uraume, Kenjaku, and, well, yourself. But you didn't feel like yourself. Instead, you felt an overwhelming evil fill your system. You felt the bile in the pit of your stomach churn, and the air in your lungs suddenly gained heaviness. But of course, you were supposed to be ready for this kind of thing.
You watched Uraume dismantle a giant cursed spirit, splitting it from the inside out and freezing its insides. Their expression told you that they were indifferent to this kind of treatment. "Whats wrong Y/N? Never seen a cursed spirit bleed?" Kenjaku spoke up. "I-I have..." that was a lie. And it was clear Kenjaku knew that, but he let you have your reassuring moment.
Uraume had previously informed you about the ritual of bathing in the blood of cursed spirits. It made your head spin even thinking about it. They called you 'weak' or 'tender' for saying that. But I mean, who wouldn't be disgusted by a giant bleeding cursed spirit? The sight was downright vile.
"Y/N, Please do not keep Sukuna Sama waiting." Uraume says. "What? Where is he?" You say, trying to keep your composure. "He is down those stairs, in the bath I have prepared for him. He has ordered me to inform you upon your arrival, to come to his side. I can show you the way if you would like."
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
"What are you looking at, brat? You wanna come in?" Sukuna says, staring directly into your eyes. Most of his head was submerged under the crimson fluid that surrounded him, and he had a lustful look in his eyes when he spoke to you. One of the many things that never failed to make you weak in the knees.
"I wouldn't prefer that... I don't wanna get my hair wet." Which was an obvious lie, to the truth that you were scared. But Sukuna knew you too well, and could see through your facade. And with a chuckle, he said, "Women are so dramatic sometimes. But I can tell you're lying. You're scared, is that it?" You pause and look at the scene before you. The pool of blood is at least a couple meters deep, and it was absolutely huge to your standards. "You scared of drowning? Ill hold you up then. These worries of yours are irrelevant to me. Be a big girl and get inside already."
You didn't want to seem weak in front of Sukuna, but the thing was, he already knew you were weak. So there was truly no need to hide that from him. Sukuna basically knew everything about you, as being one of the perks of being his favorite playthings. You aren't too sure how you managed to get this far into your questionable relationship with the curse, but it really happened with no negotiation. He suddenly took a liking to you and your uncoordinated self. Something about you was charming to him. How cute.
You suck in your breath and close your eyes, as you are reassuring yourself to be more brave. But as you make your descent downwards, it was hard to. Which in turn makes you trip over your steps, with a loud shriek. But as you land and fall feet first inside the water, you find yourself being held up by Sukunas arms. "Such a clumsy thing to do in front of your king." He says, clearly amused in your antics.
You start to quietly panic, as the only thing holding you up in the deep liquid is Sukunas strong hold on your thrushing body, keeping his hands attached to your waist. "Calm down already. You aren't drowning as long as i'm here." His words didn't fix your crumbling composure.
"You need my help? Or do I need to teach you how to calm the fuck down."
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
You couldn't think straight.
With the way Sukunas hips piled rived into yours, it turned you into a blabbing mess. He had brought you to the shallow area of the steps while still submerged. While he was siting on one of the steps, you were going practically dumb on his cock. You held onto his shoulders with each hard thrust of his hips, holding on for dear life at this point.
All that could be heard was splashing from the waves that formed around the two of you, and the squelching of your aroused pussy.
"K-kuna please-" You say as his cock continues his assault on your poor cunt, his gruff hands moving your hips up and down like a ragdoll. "Holy shit- hhahhh- I cant- Please" "Use your words, big girl." He says, a harsh hand coming up to grab and handful of your hair. "Its too much- im gonna cum soon kuna!" You say embarrassingly, hiding your face into Sukunas shoulder.
"Aw, but we just got started right?" He says with a fake pout. This little fucker. "Cmon, keep trying. You wish to please me, correct?" With a smug grin tugging his lips, he forces your head to look over your shoulder at the mess your making on his cock.
"Uraume! Get us a robe while your at it, yeah?" Sukuna yells from across the room, his eyes preoccupied on your shaking body. "At once, my lord." Uraume says, taking a leave. Uraume? Were they here the whole time? You went too blank spaced in the mind to even notice anybody else.
But your thoughts come to a halt when Sukuna stops, flips you around and ruts into you from behind, his hands snaking around your waist, head resting on your shoulder, causing you to grab onto his thighs for dear life. The relenting pace he was going at, paired with the angle he was fucking your pussy in made you see stars, indicating your soon coming release.
"Right there- shit right there! Don't stop- please-!" You held your head hanging low, too focused on the pleasure Sukuna was handing your way. "Oh my, so bossy today. Who are you to think you can order me around?" He says, low groans leaving his mouth from behind your shoulder. "Im about to- oh my god oh my god-" And with that you cum, your cunt convulsing and tightening around his length, practically milking him.
"Good fucking girl, let it all out." He says, while still thrusting into you, maintaining his relentless pace. "Stop! Too much-" You yelled, mouth hanging open uncontrollably. "You want me to fill you up? You'd want that wouldn't you. You want your kings seed?" He grabs the sides of your face, and moves his hands in and out, mimicking the movement of your mouth and saying in a high pitched voice 'Yes, I want my kings seed!'
He laughs with Uraume at this, who is standing unbothered at the sight before them. Holding two matching robes for the two of you. You couldn't help but let out loud moans from how overwhelmed you were. "You see that Uraume? Shes embarassed, its pathetic really. the poor thing isn't used to people watching." "The way she is moving tells me she is, she is overreacting really." Uraume says, observing the sight, with no lustful intentions. Your head starts shaking, trying to say you don't. "Please Kuna! I cant-
"You like when they watch? My drama queen truly." He says, slowing down his movements. "Fuck, being so good for me. Heres your reward, pet." And with a harsh groan, releases inside of your fluttering pussy, filling you to the brim with his seed, and painting your inner walls white. You whimper with your head low, as Sukuna rests his head in the crook of your neck, hands still resting on your hips.
He pulls out of you and flips you around, grabbing your chin. You are basically on the brim of passing out from how intense that was. He picks you up by the ass, forcing glops of cum to drool out of your cunt, and pool into the water. Sukuna looks amused at the piece of art he had just created.
"Good job brat. Uraume! Get us those towels, and make sure she can stand, I don't need an annoying little pet the next day."
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#heian sukuna#heian era sukuna#heian sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x Charlotte#heian#heian era#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x Charlotte#jjk smut#sukuna smut#sukuna fluff#sukuna angst#ch 216#uraume x reader
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I was a young child, probably about 9-10, in a computer store with my father. At that point, I associated computers strictly with work and other boring grown-ups stuff, and none of the games that came with my parents' PCs were very interesting to me (especially since most of them were demos, lol). While he was off talking to the guy who worked there I was idly walking through the shelves looking at the huge boxes that PC software used to come in (remember those? The size of cereal boxes) when all of a sudden, amongst stuff like Microsoft Office and Encarta, this iconic cover hit me in the eyeballs:
I was fascinated INSTANTLY. I remember reading the back and being so confused because it sounded genuinely interesting? Like something I would actually enjoy? The graphics looked really cool and the copy writing was funny? I almost didn't think it was real. I thought for sure I'd get it home and install it just to find it was some misleading boring home office software.
I asked my dad if we could get it, and I don't know why he agreed, because he wasn't a particularly nice guy, but he did - possibly because at that time he was just excited that I was interested in computers at all. And the rest... is simstory
📩 Simblr question of the day: What was your first experience with the Sims franchise?
answer in whatever way is most comfortable for you and feel free to share this SQOTD around, make sure to use the hashtag SQOTD and tag me in separate posts ~ 💛
This question was contributed by an anon ~ Thank you for submitting multiple questions ~ (this is question 1 of 9 from this specific anon)
#I think I came into TS1 relatively late in its life cycle#I know (as I learned later) that there were already a couple of expansion packs out at that time#because my first - and for a long time only - expansion pack was Superstar#which was like the second to last expansion pack for TS1 just before Makin Magic (which I sadly never got)#so I think I must not have been playing TS1 in 2000?#I did get Vacation and Pets at some point#but I think that was retroactively#and let me tell you: TS1 Basegame + Superstar exclusively is a very interesting combo LMAO#Like imagine the only place your Sims can go to leave the house is Studiotown. Kind of iconic#the celebrity system was SO FREAKIN HARD I always felt stupid but no everyone is still like 'why was it so impossible'#anyway. been there from the start and I'll probably be here at the end#also to go back to it. I think at the time I also associated video games with console gaming which I never had and wasn't too interested in#and the PC games I was exposed to were probably like. FPS and other very combat-focused titles that just kind of put me off#because I wasn't good at those and I wasn't into competitive online games#so TS1 was truly the first time I ever saw a video game and thought 'holy shit I might actually ENJOY playing this???'#in that regard it's been v interesting & enlightening lately as I have gotten into more of those genres of video games I'd assumed I hated#The Sims will always have a special place in my heart but it's interesting to reflect on how I was initially drawn to it-#-because other game genres actively sort of repelled me... blows a big kiss towards Old Town. Thank you all
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Girl you can rant and rave all day but we all know for a fact you can't vote your way out of this mess so your "genuinely, what else can we do?" sounds like pure cucked defeatism. This downward spiral of American fascism has proven stable, so no, voting isn't going to stop it. The democrats will never be pushed left - as proven by blatant history. I know this is your cue to list a bunch of social services or civil rights concessions a la #bidenwins but the drip violence of homophobia and abortion restrictions under republicans does not come close to the bipartisan armed tyranny that murders people in broad daylight.
Voting isn't going to solve any of this, and no voting isn't going to "clear the way" or make it easier to resist. Democrats have proven over and over and over again they will use the full force of violence to stop anything that truly threatens them and the ONLY WAY to stop American fascism is to threaten them, to threaten the very foundations of the system itself.
You exert all this effort, have all this pained frustration, over the weakest political action you can take. You are not challenging fascism or tyranny or helping any of the people harmed under bipartisan violence. You ignore these people and focus on "harm reduction" for the few who do benefit from the pitiful social safety nets democrats eke out only to be undermined in the next four or eight years as republicans INEVITABLY take back power. Such is the case of a two party system, as history proves. You're staving off the inevitable by exerting all this energy into electoralism, and the people you "save" by electing democrats are inevitably hurt anyways when republicans INEVITABLY take back power - because that's what the system guarantees.
You exist in a cycle of abuse with the American government, a punishment-reward system under the 2 parties that keeps you afraid of punishment and too desperate for reward that you ignore how the hand that feeds you is also putting kids in cages and blowing up babies overseas. You, and everyone who thinks like you, will never be the ones to save anybody.
Idk I was pissed and now got all sad again after writing this. Just so you know my being sad at the state of your ideology isn't a representation of my passivity that people like you like to construe - I am painfully politically active. But it's just...sick. You're stuck in an abusive cult and now I just feel bad for you
I'm usually a lot nicer when I reply to folks, but you brought a certain energy that deserves a different response. I want to be clear to any passersby who I'd normally be polite to in this kind of conversation: This energy is reserved only for chucklefucks who bring this kind of shit to me. Please do not take this as a reflection as to how I'd treat people willing to engage honestly and civilly with me. This anon came to me unprovoked, so they're getting a rather unique response.
So here we go.
Oi, shit head. This was the stupidest thing I've read all day.
Democrats 100% have moved left in the last 40 years. Are we still recovering from when they got dragged right by Reagan in the 80s? Yes. But we've made headway getting things back on track. You claim a lot of stuff here, but don't cite a single example. Likely because you just repeat what someone else told you on TikTok that one time. You couldn't find your way through actual theory if it smacked you in the face with its dick. But you don't want me to actually justify it.
Because your own words told me you'd dismiss any evidence I provided:
I know this is your cue to list a bunch of social services or civil rights concessions a la #bidenwins but the drip violence of homophobia and abortion restrictions under republicans does not come close to the bipartisan armed tyranny that murders people in broad daylight.
Bitch, this shit is a sliding scale. Trump authorized more drone strikes than Obama did in eight years. Are they bad? Yes. But if you're telling me you want more murders, Trump's your guy. Guess what, living in America means dealing with the fact that you've been complicit in genocide this whole time. Look at the land you stand on -- it is soaked in blood. Look at the smart phone you're reading this on, it literally came out of a genocide.
You bathe in blood every day, fucking figure it out.
We do our best to minimize harm. And if you'd ACTUALLY read or watched anything I've said, your two half dead braincells would have noticed the part where I constantly say "voting is not the end of your activism." It's the fucking start.
Either Harris or Trump will be the next President. Trump will be worse. If you aren't doing everything you can to stop him, you're not a leftist, you're a grandstanding piece of shit who doesn't care about anything other than the smell of your own farts.
You want to fuck up the two parties? Great. Put in the fucking work -- because the Presidential election ain't it, shithead. Build a real movement from the ground up. Build community, build a party system, run local candidates. When's the last time your ass went to a city council meeting or a school board meeting? Do you even know when they're held where you live?
But let's face it, you couldn't coalition build if you tried because you're so far up your own ass you kiss your small intestine goodnight.
Daddy Revolution ain't coming, shithead. There's work to do, so get your head out of your ass and do it.
You want Trump to win? Netanyahu would kiss you on the lips for it. Fuck off.
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Comfort Has A Name
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader
Summary: For you, comfort has a name: Joel Miller.
Word count: ~1.1k words
Tags/Warnings: fluff, freezing your ass off, soft!Joel, jokes about saggy balls in hot weather
A/N: Look at that, I actually wrote something. I'm literally drowning in uni work atm so I have no idea when I'll get back to my other fics, but I'm too overwhelmed with my task list tonight so naturally I had to procrastinate and think about a comforting Joel situation. This is literally no more than a drabble, but maybe it can provide some comfort for you too 🥲
Tough and gruff as he may be, Joel Miller is still your comfort person.
Occasionally, people will ask you how the hell you deal with him on a daily basis, and you never know what to reply. Where do you get the patience?
You're not a saint, by no means. Your patience does not exceed the normal amount, but you've never found Joel testing it.
It's more the opposite, really.
Where other people complain that he grinds their gears, you think of him as the drop of oil that smoothes out the kink in your own system.
Like that day him and you got surprised by a thunderstorm and had to take shelter in an abandoned building. Nothing about the complex provided a sense of comfort; bare and crumbling walls, dust and rubble-coated floors, and more broken windows than intact ones to show for. It was a miserable night. You were freezing, drenched from the downpour the two of you had gotten caught in, and the wind wasn't helping either, howling through the cracks and holes in the ceiling and walls like a wailing ghost.
Joel and you had taken cover in one corner of the building. In the dim twilight of the early night, your two cowering figures could've easily passed as two more large pieces of rubble to the untrained eye. Your soaked clothes lay strewn around, hastily discarded and exchanged for dry clothes from your backpacks in an attempt to not lose more body heat than necessary. (Joel hadn't looked, of course, and neither had you. Both of you had turned their backs to each other as you'd quickly stripped off your clothes, as quickly as the soaked garments would allow.) Still, your teeth were chattering relentlessly, adding a rhythmic element to the white noise provided by the downpour outside.
You reached for your backpack to retrieve your sleeping bag, hoping to wrap it around you like a blanket for extra warmth, but you noticed the mishap as soon as your fingers found the side compartment of your bag. The flap hung loose, and your sleeping bag underneath it was drenched.
"Fuck." You muttered under your breath.
The flap must've had come loose sometime during your sprint through the rain, which left your sleeping bag drenched and you without a plan to warm up. With a sigh, you pulled the bunched up material from its tiny compartment and rolled it out over the floor next to your drenched clothes. You were doubtful any of it was going to be dry by morning, but the chances were still higher than if you kept it all bunched up in your backpack.
You'd slept on solid ground enough to know how cold and unwelcoming any stone surface could be, but that night, you truly understood whoever had coined the term 'stone cold'. The hard concrete against your back was drawing out more heat from your limbs than you could conjure, despite your best efforts. You had curled yourself into a ball, knees tucked tightly against your arms which were crossed over your chest. Your hands, formed into tight fists, were buried in your armpits, but it wasn't helping. Frost was settling in your every limb, slowly working its way from the tips of your extremities all the way to the core of your bones.
That's what you got for getting caught in the rain in early November.
"Hey." Joel's voice grumbled next to you, barely distinguishable over the rain splattering outside. You shifted your head and squinted at him through the dark.
He too was curled up into a human ball, but he'd extended an arm to you as if inviting you for a side-hug.
"C'mon," he said and beckoned you over with a flick of his hand.
You didn't need to be told twice. With your backpack in tow, you scooted over to him, dragging both your belongings and your butt over the dusty ice-cold floor.
"Whoa." You breathed out in surprise as you tucked yourself against Joel's side. His arm came down around you instantly, locking you in place and holding you closer to him than you might've allowed yourself. Heat radiated from his center like he secretly harbored a little white dwarf in his abdomen.
Before you could even think about what you were doing, you pushed yourself into Joel's side as much as physically possible. Your arms snaked around his waist and just barely touched on the other side, while your head came to rest below his chin on his chest, your legs all jumbled up into a big knot drawn as close to yourself as possible. It wasn't really a comfortable position, and yet it was as comfortable as you were ever gonna get.
"Are you an oven or something? How the hell are you so hot?"
Joel snorted. You could feel the low rumble of laughter vibrate in his chest that followed. "Guess that's genetics for 'ya," he retorted, and you only then realized the ambiguity of both your remarks. A lazy smile formed on your lips and you softly boxed his rib cage.
"Not what I meant," you said with half a laugh and quickly wrapped your arm back around his torso. His warmth was too delicious to give up for even a second. Already you felt ten times warmer than you'd had on your own, and that was just from a few seconds of being wrapped around Joel's middle like a jacket you had been reluctant to bring and now regretted.
"I know, sweetheart," he replied and you could hear the smile in his words. "Always been warm-blooded. S' a blessing in winter and a curse in summer. Always sweatin' my damn balls off from May to September."
"Hmm." You feigned a sound of delight. "Tell me more."
His chest vibrated once more as another round of laughter rumbled through him. This time, it was him who faintly smacked your head at your jest. "I'm serious. Ain't no fun having your balls basically stick to your knees all damn summer."
Your eyelids fluttered close as you rolled your eyes. What a charming picture he was conjuring up in your brain.
"You know, when I said tell me more? I really didn't mean that." You shook your head at the picture of a sweaty ballsack stretched out all the way to the knees. "Christ."
Joel chuckled under you. "You said I'm hot as a' oven. I didn't start this."
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Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fluff#joel miller tlou#joel miller imagine#joel miller drabble#joel miller the last of us#tlou fic#tlou fanfic#tlou fanfiction#tlou joel#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal
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man. i’m so fucking torn up
#i rlly feel like roadkill#i’m just so worn. i’m so so worn out#it is rlly hard . i’m trying rlly hard#i’m gunna take a shower tomorrow and i think it’ll help i’m rlly in need of one#i feel soooo gross but i kinda wanna wallow in it a little#shower will be that much more rewarding#washing off all those tears from yesterday#so sad and upset and just. disappointed#i truly feel so broken. i feel like i messed up big time but#it’s also not all my fault. i’m just upset that things are how they are#i cant just put all the blame on one person. it’s the whole system#it was made to do this. it was made to make things hard#anyways. i don’t belive that i’m stuck in this cycle of bad that i can’t escape. i don’t believe that everything is just how its gunna be#things are always changing always shifting#it feels rlly good to have finally come to terms with some stuff#i just have a deep feeling in me. and i will never stop fighting to make things better#even if it’s horrible. because it will be horrible#i feel like i’ve kinda found a sense of purpose#it’s not even something in particular. it’s just a mindset. a feeling i have now#it makes me feel proud. no matter how bad it is i know i’ll never completely give in#i cant explain this how i want to. but i’ve just come to terms with stuff and it feels good
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Impromptu dates | LN4
pairing: lando norris x sick!bookworm!reader
summary: a bookworm & f1 driver + stomach bug = the best lazy date ever.
warnings: none!
fc: none!
wc: 859
Most people hated being sick.
It’s understandable that people hated being sick. They don’t feel. They feel gross. They feel off. The list goes on and on on why people hated being sick. Especially people who are more independent and hate the idea of someone else taking care of them. Which you understood as it hit a bit too close to home.
Which is why as someone fiercely independent as you are, people never understood why you enjoy being sick.
You could never find the words to explain it when people ask you on the spot. You try and try yet you’re never happy with your answer and people never quite believed you which was fair but you didn’t care. You enjoyed it when you were sick.
Not violently ill, which you emphasize. You did not enjoy running a super high fever, or running to the bathroom, or having your head constantly over a toilet vomiting up basically nothing. That was not fun. You enjoy the kind of sickness where you can’t go out into the world for a day or two. Maybe a low grade fever that’ll pass or a quick stomach bug that’s out of your system fast but you still take the precaution and stay indoors.
Why?
Well that’s because it means you can stay under the covers after a shower with your kindle in its little tablet holder. Page turner remote in hand while having your water and drink of choice (mostly iced coffee), and some white noise as background noise. It was truly perfection for you.
Yet it was Lando’s hell.
Lando, your boyfriend, hated when you were sick. It meant no cuddles. No hugs. No kisses. Any physical contact was on halt and it was already torture given his schedule so the rare time he did get to see you in person and you were sick? He was miserable. Sure, you two video called but it just made him more sad that he wasn’t there to take care of you even if you swore that you didn’t need someone to take care of you. He refused to believe it so he would send you meals and medicine. He refused to let you pay him back so you’ve learned to accept it without the guilt weighing on your shoulders. It was a nice agreement you two had silently made and nothing really could beat this.
Until now.
There was a month break in between Singapore and Austin and Lando was going to soak up every second he could get and it was fine till somehow you caught a stomach bug. Lando refused to leave which also meant he caught the stomach bug.
You’re happily half laying/half sitting next to Lando against some pillows under a weighted heated blanket. You have one of his sweatshirts on while sipping your iced coffee and looking at your kindle while Lando tosses and turns next to you. You tried offering him medicine or some crackers and soup but he’s turned all the options down but now it seems he’s settled down. You look over and are greeted with the same green-blue eyes you’ve grown to pick out of the crowd in a moment. You see the curls sticking to his forehead and gently you push some out of the way and smile. “Hey.”
“How are you drinking iced coffee right now?” The Brit asks.
You shrug before smiling, “I don’t know. Guess I feel better after cleaning my stomach out and taking some medicine unlike someone.” Poking his forehead, you giggle while he huffs slightly and moves his head away. You hear Lando grumble something about the medicine tasting bad and you roll your eyes. “You’re such a big baby.”
Lando pouts slightly grumbling he is not a big baby before you return to your book. You look back hearing a huff and raise a brow. “Yes?”
“How do you just lay here and read and do nothing? I’m so bored yet too tired to get up.”
You shrug, “I just get really engrossed in my books sometimes I forget to even eat or pee.”
“You what!?” Lando sits up a bit in surprise before laying down and whining at his upset stomach.
“Oh come here.” You start.
You shift and sit up a bit more and reach over and rearrange your nightstand. You move your drinks further back along with your tablet holder before grabbing your TV remote and turning the TV on. You watch Lando lay there for a moment before shifting closer. He tosses and turns before slowly he settles on his stomach letting a soft sigh of relief out. Wrapping his arms around your waist, the Brit nuzzles his face into your stomach before settling down and looking at the TV. Lando flips through some apps and television options before settling on ‘The Hangover’.
Settling back down against the pillows you run your fingers gently through his hair while you go back to your book, the movie becoming background noise for you. This is how you two spend the evening and it’s the best impromptu date and now becomes your go to date.
#starlight library presents;#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#ln4 navigation#ln4 imagine#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#lando norris x you#f1 imagine#starlight library navi#starlight navigation
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