#so its just one of those times.
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i dont need this seasonal depression if i already have regular depression going on. blegh.
#blah blah blabbity blah#but im fine. sorta.#ive been dealing with self doubt a lot again#and im hating everything i ever did and didn't do.#so its just one of those times.#but it is what it is.#hm.
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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I headcanon that all of Yoda's finest teacups were made by younglings
In fact most masters of the order's finest teacups were made during crèche crafting time when the kids were learning pottery.
#what im saying is that if one jedi is mad at another#they will serve tea in a normal store bought boring looking teacup and not the wonky colourful child made ones#like they can feel the joy an creativity flow from the cups in the force amd it just makes tea time just so much better#so receiving tea in a store bought cup feels more lifeless (unless its a gift from a friend outside the temple or sth idk)#you know youve made it as a jedi when a youngling gifts you a teacup#yoda has multiple of those vitrine shelves to showcase his gigantic collection#Star Wars#obi wan kenobi#mace windu#shaak ti#plo koon#yoda#jedi council#mozza draws
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Hero.
#legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#loz eow#loz#zelda#tri#josh art tag#been meaning to do a full on stained glass drawing for like 2 years now lol#ive had ideas but none really stuck with me until this one#and the reason why is cuz this one was more of a scene! it wasnt just a normal drawing made to look like stained glass#it had what is supposed to be a literal window with someone standing before it looking up at it#also i find the timing of this drawing funny#cuz i just recently changed my shading style to resemble stained glass even more so than usual#cuz for years now ive gottem comments saying#my style reminds people of stained glass#and sometimes i see it sometimes i dont#cuz my shading style changes and sometimes it really did look glass like#but other times i dont think it did?? but i still got those comments??#maybe its like the way i do lineart or block out shapes?#idk but recently when i was growing tired of my previous coloring style i remembered those comments#and decided to lean into it#but now just a little while after that#here i am doing a legit stained glass illustration lol
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IT'S FINALLY FUCKING DONE. I'M FINALLY FREE
UNTIL FRAUD COMES OUT
Tumblr shrinks it down pretty bad so please. please. I am begging you. look at the full sized image and zoom in. This art piece made my friends worried for my mental health I need someone to witness the amount of detail and effort I put into this
also the original sketch under the cut bc I think comparing them is really funny
#my art#ultrakill#stained glass art#gabriel ultrakill#this is one of those art pieces that made me feel like i had a parasitic fungus controlling my brain#one of those art pieces that's gonna require recovery time. i feel like a demon was just expelled from my body#i need to go eat an apple or stand in a river for a little while#i already said it but please. please zoom in on the full sized version#i love this game so much#i just hope i don't hate this by the time its finished lmao#im probably gonna have to adjust the color balance a bit when fraud/treachery come out but i'll cross that bridge when i get to it
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looking through old tf2 stuff again + felt like reuploading some of my favorite (mostly spy) art throughout the years
#seeing the water themed ones makes me want to draw more of those lol theyre always so fun.... i just like messing around wit lines and color#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 spy#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 heavy#tf2 medic#tf2 sniper#tf2 scout#tf2 soldier#tf2 engineer#miss pauling#tf2 miss pauling#spycrab#fanart#might put together a small artbook / zine of these as a sort of archive for myself / showing my art progress over time#i still have stuff back when i first started drawing digitally bc of tf2 (its rly bad)#bright colors#eye strain#- just in case
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how to guide your mossball (ID in alt)
#roronoa zoro#zoro#opfanart#one piece#monkey d luffy#nami#sanji#usopp#tony tony chopper#nico robin#not sure if i should even tag her shes just an eye and a hand…. anyway this was for zoro’s birthday ! uploading it a bit late here#definitely an overdone concept i Think but i wanted to draw smth pre-ts with his beloved crew :D#if im not forgetful ill make it a set and draw another with the rest of the straw hats including vivi and then other non-sh!#so many people have come face to face with his terrible sense of directions… i love to think of how those that had the time start to adjust#and problem solve it... its not foolproof though im sure zoro will find a way to clip thru the universe#ruporas art
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early mornings after nightmares
#just realized I made a pinned post with this art before putting it up whyyy am I like this#anyway headcanon time: I like to think they hang out while the sun comes up after the doctor has a nightmare and they just sit and talk#or Donna will read and just keep him company (I love watching the sun rise it’s such a unique feeling! i suck at getting up early tho lol)#Doctor who#fourteenth doctor#donna noble#I need like. A platonic ship name do we have one of those for them?#my art#not super happy with it but ITS DONE#doctor who fanart#the doctor#catherine tate#david tennant#procreate#Digital art#uh#incase my handwriting is as illegible as I think : Donna’s says “worlds best mum” and the Doctor’s says “worlds okayest uncle”#okay this looks more like a sunset so??
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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more isat drawings yay
#i drew both this and this one other drawing in the span of two days. i havent drawn this much in SO LONG#but ive finally managed to form an actual artstyle for those characters yay. its gonna be more consistent from now on i hope#i am so obsessed with this game someone help me#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- i dont think theres any but just in case#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat odile#isafrin#loopdile#<- barely but i guess why not#(i need more loopdile stuff)#i love them so muchhh#drawinsometimez
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Sorry for not having a Year of the Dragon MDZS artwork; Unfortunately, I can only picture Dragon LWJ in this particular flavour.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Dragon AU#MDZS AU#noodleji#(IT'S A REAL TAG!!! AAH!!! THROWING MY HAT TO THE LITTLE GUY LOVERS!)#Yes I watched Fruits Basket in my teen years and yes it left a significant impression on me.#'The Dragon Transforms' and its just into a small little guy.#Even more points if the human form is a Tall Guy.#Sadly this does not appear to be a common nor popular variation so I will sit on my little hill alone. (EDIT: I WAS WRONG)#Dragon LWJ probably would be some kind of river dragon. Lesser god of a small stream.#One that grows bigger with time but always has the reputation of being benevolent and calm to those who seek its clear waters.#Do not pollute these waters or your ass is going to be bit. 1000 tiny puncture marks.#I imagine that's probably how wwx first meets him (accidently pours booze into lwj's river) (gets bit - gets bit - gets bit-)#WWX eventually befriends him through stubbornly showing up every week to give him offerings.#Takes him into town in a little pot of water to show him how the people live. Maybe go to a festival.#When the day is done and he's back in his river and alone - LWJ finally feels a new emotion...it is longing and loneliness.
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The fact that Judaism is trending because of both the wave of bomb threats on synagogues and Bradley Cooper's Antisemitism Adventure (his huge fake prosthetic nose, and him basically stealing the story from a Jewish man) is so infuriating and so exhaustingly typical.
The fact that I see Judaism trending on Tumblr and immediately think "oh no. Something Bad is happening to us." We're never trending cause it's fucking good. I never get to be excited, it's just cold dread.
The fact that Antisemitism is getting worse everyday and the only ones who ever talk about it are other Jews. The fact that no one else fucking cares. The only ones who support us are other Jews. Even when gentiles talk about Nazis or white supremacists they don't want to help us. We're just their prop, the canary in the coal mine and the perfect victim.
The fact that everyone's uncomfortable with Jews still being here. Reminding them of things they'd rather forget.
The fact that it'd be easier for them if we were all dead. Then they could tell stories about our people, dressed in offensive caricatures, without us making a fuss.
#im so fucking pissed right now#jew tag#judaism#jumblr#when will we be able to catch a fucking break man#i keep thinking about dara horn man#she said it best#a hundred times#Sarah's bullshit#I'll probably delete this later i just AUGH#g-d im angry i just wanted to rant#me and every jewish person ever who went to hebrew school or shul or anything#we have armed security guards as some flimsy protection so we dont get hate crimed#so no one comes in and shoots our kids#by the way. its not normal. its been all ive ever known though#g-d forbid one of those bomb threats is real will gentiles slap on a fake nose and make a movie about it twenty years later
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fire nation festival wear aka a blatant excuse for me to push atla clothing design conventions to the absolute Limit
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#kugisaki nobara#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: illust#atla!au: design#lmhs#yuuji#megumi#nobara#there i go again putting way too much effort into designs that will b featured in all of one (1) chapter probably#the first fire nation fit i did for yuuji isnt even fic canon btw for the majority of th time theyll just be in their earth kingdom clothes#and these r the only fire nation clothes they'll Actually wear fr a significant amt of time#so feel free 2 disregard th other fit i designed for yuuji in that ask because this is all i want to see him in Ever actually#no ankles no chest no toes showing my boy is FULLY clothed. not an INCH of skin exposed. no sinful clothing cuts here no sir#did i draw him buttoned up from head to toe out of spite? maybe :)#'fire nation is based on imperial japan' me: on it boss taisho era inspired festival wear comin RIGHt up#real talk though these designs put me through the Wringer cries combining those two influences ws so hard...#all 3 braincells working *nanami voice* overtime smh#imo the final designs still ended up being a far cry from atla canon but i cant be bothered anymore they look Fine its Fine#my kids r dressed 2 the nines and that was the goal
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