#so it's weird that i can't find ANY mention of this problem anywhere. if anyone else has experienced this please let me know lmao

[prismit]

found a way to fix the weird problem where the home button on desktop tumblr doesn't work when endless scrolling is off unless you click it twice! i don't know if anyone else has the problem, but i'll share what i did anyways. also i accidentally posted this once before finishing typing it out so sorry if you saw that one :')

anyways, it's not the most elegant solution, but it's pretty simple and i don't know why i didn't think of it earlier lol. just get a browser extension that can change where links take you! the one i got is called Redirector by Einar Egilsson, which is the first one that came up and seems to have the best reviews out of what i could find.

then you just want to set it up so "https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard" takes you to "https://www.tumblr.com/" instead. problem solved! it does refresh the whole tab, so it's a little bit slower (especially if you have other extentions like dashboard unfucker), but it's worth it if you're REALLY annoyed by having to click something twice.

more specific instructions for the aforementioned extension under the cut, because it took me a minute to get it working.

go to the extension's settings, create a new redirect, and enter the following:

Description: (anything) Example URL: https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard Include pattern: https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard Redirect to: https://www.tumblr.com/ Pattern type: Regular Expression Pattern Description: (anything) ADVANCED OPTIONS Exclude pattern: (leave this blank) Process matches: No Processing Apply to: HistoryState Save

and that should do it! note that if you do this while you currently have tumblr open on any page of the dashboard, going to the next or previous page will trigger it to activate and you'll lose your place. this only happens the first time, and everything should work completely fine after that.

[paradoxcase]

Close kinship structures within a system of universal polygamy

Here's a piece of worldbuilding that I technically drew up for a story that I'm writing, but like, it has nothing at all to do with the story or the characters and is just some background stuff that gets mentioned briefly for approximately two seconds as a segue into something completely different, but I wound up putting a pretty decent amount of effort into it and even drew up a kind of scruffy diagram in gimp using icons from the Sims, so I am kind of brain-dumping it here, in case anyone is interested.

So, the nation of T'arse has a system of universal polygamy, where everyone of any gender is expected to have multiple spouses. This is kind of a sketch of how that traditionally works, what it does to kinship systems, and why it is that way in the first place. The story is about time travel, but somehow, talking about T'arsi kinship systems in English is more confusing than talking about self-fulfilling time travel loops in English, so I'll be using T'arsi words so I don't wind up saying stuff like "your official father's other wives' other husbands' children" and immediately losing literally everyone.

A quick note about spelling and pronunciation here is that the apostrophe up there modifies the T and indicates that it is a retroflex consonant - these are pronounced with the tip of the tongue curled back on the roof of your mouth. In the story, I just use the apostrophe because there are very few T'arsi words in the text, but once you start to have words with like, multiple retroflex consonants in row it starts to get a bit much, so I've just used the IPA characters for the retroflexes here. So basically, if you see a funky-looking character, it's just a retroflex consonant, that's all it means.

So first of all, while people are expected to have multiple spouses, they don't generally have huge numbers of multiple spouses. Usually, you have three. The first one you traditionally get before you turn 20 - your parents traditionally arrange this one for you. Then you are supposed to get a second spouse in your 20s, who ideally should be another person in their 20s who is also looking for a second spouse, and then you get a third one in your 30s, likewise. Most people stop there, but you can keep going if you want. However, it's generally considered kind of weird if you have a big age difference with one of your spouses, or if one of your spouses has a different number of other spouses than you do, so if you, say, don't get married a second time during your 20s, you can wind up permanently stuck in the "weird" category, since it will be hard to find someone in their 30s who only has one other spouse, and only having one spouse also makes you kind of weird. Plenty of marriages happen just for the sake of social appearance - it's not required, or even expected, that you are equally romantic or sexual with all of your spouses, so it's not actually seen as a problem unless people think that a) you might be gay, and are actually just dating your spouse's other spouses and similarly letting your spouses date each other, or b) you're from a recently-conquered territory and a bunch of you all fake-married each other in order to be "taken" and are actually just living your monogamous lives out with your original spouse. In those cases, it's considered "antisocial".

Obviously, everyone can't live with everyone else. Traditionally, the way cohabitation worked was that men were not allowed to own property, and each woman had their own home, and was generally guaranteed one by the government. Men would then live with their wives, traveling between the houses of different wives when they had multiple, staying for anywhere from a few days to multiple years with the same one at a time. The gay people who are all dating their spouse's other spouses would make arrangements like, you guys can have my place while I stay at my girlfriend's house for a few months. In later time periods, it does become possible for men to own property, first through legal loopholes and then more easily, and eventually you even get gay marriage, and the distinction between "people who own homes" and "people who travel between multiple homes" gets a lot greyer, but that's how it works traditionally. The children stay in their mother's house until around age 12 or so, at which point they join their father and travel between his wife's houses, during which time he is supposed to teach them his trade. It's 100% up to the woman who the father of her children is - it doesn't matter if the kid very obviously looks much more like one possible father than another one, whoever the woman declares to be their father is their father.

This habitation pattern leads to different, overlapping sets of close family. Here is where the diagram comes in:

So, the basic terms:

khraizdi means "mother"

zautɽe means "father"

sɖueveʂ means "brother"

maimueʂ means "sister"

ʂɭuiɳ means "true". It's used for your official parents, and your full siblings who you share both parents with.

ghliʈeo means "nursery". It's used for the siblings who share your mother with you, but not your father, because these are siblings that you grow up with as a young child but probably do not see often during your adolescence. The fathers are also called zautɽe ghliʈeo because you would meet them when they visited your mother, and depending on how long they stayed, they might even be a significant part of your childhood, but would see them less often during adolescence.

ʂbiʐɭe means something like "vocation", or "career". It's used for the siblings who share your father with you, but not your mother, because these are siblings that you mostly never meet until your adolescence, but with whom you will learn your trade. Their mothers are also khraizdi ʂbiʐɭe because you will first meet them during this stage of your life as well.

ɖemgh usually means the non-ghliʈeo children of your zautɽe ghliʈeo and the non-ʂbiʐɭe children of your khraizdi ʂbiʐɭe and their other parents, but technically it can be used to refer to anyone who you can connect to you via a longer chain of marriages. It's kind of like how your first cousin and your third cousin can both be referred to as "cousins", but usually if someone talks about their "cousin" they mean their first cousin. And, when people want to be specific, they will also say things like "first ɖemgh" and "second ɖemgh", etc.

Your ghliʈeo and ʂbiʐɭe siblings are still very much your siblings and marrying them is incest. But ɖemgh family is only kind of like quasi-family and it's totally fine to marry them. Traditionally, the first spouse that is arranged for by your parents is a first ɖemgh "sibling", as shown in the diagram, although in later times (or if the ages and genders didn't work out for whatever reason) people would go to second or third ɖemgh. Arranged marriage sticks around for quite a while, and is even sometimes being practiced after gay marriage is normalized and thus there were arranged gay marriages, because many people felt that it was important to get married early, and also felt that teenagers would not make good decisions about who to marry. There is not a lot of visibility into how many marriages fail in T'arse, because divorce is rare and most people who have an issue with one or two of their spouses also have at least one spouse they are good with and just stop seeing the problematic spouses. The owner of a house has the legal right to ban anyone except underage children from their house, including their own spouses, and this has always been enforced by law enforcement, and having a falling-out with one spouse is usually seen as just a regular drama of life. It only becomes a visible problem when a man is banned from all of his wives' houses and doesn't have anywhere to stay. People hold this up as a reason why arranged marriage is a good thing - because it means you always have one spouse that's guaranteed to be a good match, since your parents put their lifetime of experience into picking them for you, right?

So love, and sex, and even children and cohabitation are actually not required components of marriage, mostly because you have other spouses with which you can also have those things. So what is the point? Why is it important to be married at all? Why is it important to be married so young?

The answer is actually nationalism.

You see, "T'arse" (or if we're writing it in IPA, ʈars) is not actually the name of the country. It is the properly the name of a god. And secondarily, it is the name of the country that is that god. The country cannot be referred to as "the Kingdom of T'arse" or "the Empire of T'arse" or "the Republic of T'arse" or whatever, because T'arse is just its proper name, by itself, because T'arse is fundamentally, a god. The ruler is not a queen or an emperor, although outsiders might refer to her as such - like every T'arsi, she is a tiny piece of god, specifically god's will. So, her proper title is the Will of T'arse. Others will frequently be referred to in similar ways - the eye of T'arse, the finger of T'arse, the hair of T'arse, the knee of T'arse, etc.

Because the country is god, it wouldn't do for individuals to remain separated from the rest. Everyone has to be linked together in a vast network of marriages in order to truly form a composite being. That's why being insufficiently connected is "antisocial" - you're not being a proper piece of god, you are trying to be apart from god. Even the Will has to be part of the network, so one of her many husbands (she gets way more than three) is always a regular common T'arsi man. (The rest are generally all princes of patriarchal kingdoms, and she gets to play political games of deciding which one gets to be her children's father. Sometimes she does the ultimate troll move of declaring the common T'arsi man to be a strategically important child's father and a lot of people get very Unhappy.)

This also fuels T'arse's expansionism. Originally, the theology was that everyone on the continent was god. The original proselytism was, let's all be god together and create a perfect society worthy of god. Some people thought their existing societies were good enough already and kept killing the missionaries. Eventually, one Will of T'arse declared the outsiders to only be Schrodinger's god - maybe they're god, maybe they aren't, we don't know until after we conquer and absorb them. Everyone we kill in the process wasn't actually god, it turns out, so that's fine.

Because of this, they actually have a pretty good social safety net. We can't let god starve or live on the streets or die of treatable diseases, that would be sacrilege. There are still massive wealth gaps, of course - the Will of god is naturally far more important than the fingernail of god, and obviously gets far more support, but it's actually fairly good at making sure that the poorest citizens all have some sort of food, housing, and access to medical care. The people who live in the surrounding countries know this... they know that they could leave behind all of the hardships they may face in their home, immigrate to T'arse, be accepted unconditionally as god, be given food, housing, healthcare, and a spouse or three, and never have to live in a country defending from an invasion ever again. But it means they will never speak their native language again, or participate in their native culture, or practice the religion they grew up with, because "god" just doesn't do those things.

[perpetualexistence]

Sea Monster AU: Spring Break Snacktime

Might have been a bit later than I anticipated, but here's the next part! Part of the reason it took longer was because I ended up changing the order of a specific arc that was originally going to start here. This part was intended to be lighter as a result of that inciting event.

This part still does have a moment of lightness for Noah! It's just also followed by a semi-scene that's not so light for Noah.

Without further ado, just click on the Read More!

Content Warnings: Mentions of eating people, Alejandro being a manipulative bastard, and toxic yaoi except it's actually toxic

<- Prev | First | Next ->

Despite all of the hunting, Noah does have a life outside of Alejandro. He still has to take his college classes unless he wants to look suspicious. Lucky for him he still does well enough in his classes because he's smart. He just doesn't have much time for any extracurriculars or socializing. Especially socializing since he considers it would be too mentally taxing to hide what he's doing from anyone else.

Still, he does find himself eavesdropping since he's curious even if he can't bring himself to enter any social situations. He also wants to check to see if anyone is saying anything about the disappearances. It's how he realizes that a certain time is coming up that is about to make hunting both particularly easy and particularly challenging. Spring Break.

Spring Break is a time when the lake is the most active. Both townies and tourists are out and about being absolute drunk menaces in the lake. They make for easy pickings. But it's also harder to isolate ships given that there's so many on the docks. Since these are recreational booze cruises, there's no way to really track their routes since they don't need to chart them. And with so many, it's hard to just scour through social media for any in particular since a lot of these yachts/boats look the same. At least to Noah who never used to care for boats up until he started selecting for slaughter.

Noah's solution is to get on a smaller boat and simply sail until he sees one that's isolated enough from others. He'll fake running out of gas after going on a spring break joy ride by himself, and then he'll be allowed on the ship and do his regular recon. The plan does work, but it presents a problem.

The boat that he happens to find himself on is Geoff's party boat. He barely knows Geoff, since Geoff actually lives in the big city. Geoff still goes to the community college in his home town because his grades wouldn't really allow him anywhere else. Geoff's one of the few people from the big city who doesn't constantly shit on Noah's little home town. Noah even recognizes a couple of other townies on the boat. Inter-town parties are a bit of a rarity given town rivalries, but it seems that Geoff is the guy who believes that parties are for everyone, including the weird loner nerd that nobody seems to know what his deal is, aka Noah.

There's no way Noah can get away with the normal 'fake death' plan because he's actually going to be in an environment where he'd see the people he'd ask Alejandro to spare. Especially not since Geoff, in being a good party host, pretty much announced Noah's arrival so people would know where this guy came from. And now townies who are curious because they never expected Noah to come to one of Geoff's parties are trying to engage in conversation with him. Meaning it's going to be harder for him to sneak off to get in touch with Alejandro who's currently waiting for the signal to go. Great.

Noah finds himself talking with Owen first. Because Owen's made it a personal mission to get to know everyone at his college. Noah's been the most elusive due to his 'extracurriculars'. So Owen's got to know about Noah even more. Noah's very careful about what he says since he's trying to find a way out of this conversation. But he does accidentally let slip that a) he doesn't know most of the people here personally and b) he's never actually been to a party before. Owen makes his new personal mission introducing Noah to everyone at the party, or at least all the people that he knows. So Noah gets dragged around to meet Izzy, Eva, Geoff, and Duncan.

Noah's getting increasingly paranoid about what Alejandro's doing since Noah's never been this radio silent during a hunt. And yet he's...not completely hating his time here. It's nice to interact with people he's not constantly terrified of. Or people who are actually the worst human being on the planet. He'd almost forgotten that humans can be decent. For the most part, he's just present while they're pulling wacky shenanigans around him. Usually he hates large crowds of people. But Owen's doing a pretty good job of checking in on him. There's even a room on the boat for people who need a chill break during the party. That's where he meets Gwen, Trent, Courtney, and Bridgette.

It's while in this more chill room that Noah's finally able to break away from Owen and everyone else to get in touch with Alejandro. He explains what happened so Alejandro won't be too mad, and...tells him not to come after this ship. Noah can get two for him to make up for it afterwards, but this one is far too risky. And Alejandro will have to wait a couple of hours more because that's when the party boat is going to dock for those who don't plan to spend the night.

So far, Noah's never actually tried to completely deny Alejandro a ship. He's gotten survivors excused because Alejandro could still occupy himself with other prey. But to completely deny him a meal? It's unprecedented. The worst part is that their communication is only one way, so Noah has no idea what Alejandro's thinking. Alejandro could decide Noah asked for too much and just end everything right here, right now. He can only wait and pray Alejandro will listen and spare this ship with decent people in it for once.

Fortunately for him, nothing happens to the ship. Owen insists on exchanging numbers, and Noah eventually just lets it happen to get Owen off of his back. The ship pulls to port, and Noah immediately books it for his cove. It's late at night, but Alejandro's above the water and waiting for Noah. The darkness doesn't help Noah's unease as it makes it harder to read Alejandro's expressions. The only light comes from the moon and the occasional crackle of electricity coming from Alejandro's tail.

Noah tries to crack a light joke to try to ease some tension. He's not good at those at the best of times, but especially not now. Alejandro bends down to extend a flat palm to Noah. He doesn't say anything. It's just an invitation. A false one. Because Noah is very sure if he doesn't step onto that hand, he's going up one way or another. So he steps on, and Alejandro lifts him so that he's at face height.

Alejandro lets Noah know that he heard the radio. It was a bit choppy though. He had to make some interpretations of the message. Rather similar to how Noah thinks he can just make his own interpretations of the deal without talking to Alejandro about it. He spared the ship, and in fact went all the way to the other side of the lake where there was no chance of encountering anyone from Noah's home town. Because he wanted to be kind.

He also heard that he was allowed to have two ships as recompense. It was so generous to let Alejandro hunt on his own! So he took it upon himself to hunt down two ships on his own. Don't worry, he still made sure to be as safe as they've always been. Isolate them, disrupt communications, and leave no survivors. They were still small yachts, so they were probably tourists.

Despite the darkness, Noah knows this is bullshit. He knows Alejandro heard him ask to wait for Noah to get back to him before hunting. Noah also knows that he's currently about 100 feet off the ground, and Alejandro's hand is currently over the hard hard ground, not the water. But still. He's Noah.

He calls Alejandro out for claiming to only hear the hunting two ships part. If he didn't hear about the fact that Noah would be a couple of hours, then why would he be here waiting for Noah in the middle of the night instead of waiting to try to get in touch with him in the morning? This earns Noah a rapid shift in position from being in flat palm to suddenly being held in a closed fist that keeps only his head free to move and stare at Alejandro.

Because Noah and his observational skills are cute. But they're not that cute when he's annoyed. And trust Alejandro, this is only annoyed. Noah does not want to push him any farther than that. If Noah is leave him hanging for that long again, he better be in serious danger or provide an immediate alternative. Or Alejandro's going to keep interpreting things how he wants to. And Noah. Will deal with it. Gracefully. Do they have an understanding?

Noah doesn't even trust himself to speak and just rapidly nods his head. Alejandro chuckles. Noah looks cute when he's frightened. He should take care to make sure Alejandro doesn't like seeing it more. He'd plant a kiss on Noah's cheek, though for Noah it's pretty much the entire left side of his head. Alejandro gently used a finger to fix Noah's hair before setting him down on the beach completely unscathed. Then he'd leave, expecting to see Noah tomorrow. To plan their next meal. It's spring break, so Alejandro might as well stock up while the food is fresh.

Once Noah is done processing everything that's just happened, he knows one thing for sure. He's got to stop thinking of this as some kind of Bonnie and Clyde vengeance quest. He was getting so caught up in that, he forgot the reason he started it in the first place.

Noah needs to go on the offensive.

[compassionatereminders]

A bit long message so sorry!!!

I'm unemployed right now English is not my first language so idk how these places are called in English so please forgive me but I think you will get a point.

After I finished school I had to apply for job seekers. I have this "mentor" you talk to and you have a date and time you meet with her every couple of months. You have to apply for at least 4-5 jobs monthly and you have to tell her where you applied through messenger online.

You get some "job seeker allowance" when you search for jobs and if your mentor sends you somewhere you must go.

So my mentor sent me to this "workshop" idk how else to call it. It's 3 months long, it's every day Mon-Fri for 3 hours. Here they talk how to write CV and how we represent ourselves, we practice how to talk when we have job interviews and all that things.

Our ages are mixed. I'm the youngest there and we have also people in their 50s. There are 15 of us.

So my problem is this: in our group there is a man probably in his 30s. First fee days I saw him staring at me non stop. When the lady that gives us lessons talks I see him in the corner of my eye and he just stares at me for an hour... he has no interest in talking to anyone but me. He doesn't come near me if anyone else talks to me so that's good. But now after 2 weeks of being here he started doing something else.

During breaks when I go to the bathroom he follows me. I walk quickly so I don't have to talk to him. He goes near male bathroom but he doesn't go in he just waits so I come out and he tries to talk to me. Sometimes I walk quickly back so he doesn't come near me and another time I literally pretended I was on my phone and I was talking to myself like I'm talking to someone else.

Today I stood up from my chair and I wanted to go to the bathroom I saw he did the same he stood right away so he could follow me but then I decided to go just near the trash and throw away my chewing gum and I sat back on my seat and chatted with another lady. When he saw I'm not going to the bathroom he also sat back to his place. I was holding my pee till I came home because I didn't want to go to the bathroom when we finished with this group since I didn't want him to follow me towards the bathroom when others go home.

And he also started this; when we go home he quickly leave the building he goes somewhere and then he hides behind some corner so he "catches me" when I go home. I know he lives in the opposite direction because that's where he always went. Now he goes to totally different direction so he can walk with me to a bus stop. A bus stop that is 10 minutes away from this building.

I'm so uncomfortable so I was actually looking for another way to go to my bus stop and I used google maps. I'm so bad with directions even if I have google maps tbh.

You think it's just talking but... whenever he talks he only comments on how I look and how good I look (I LOOK BELOW AVERAGE BTW! So please don't think I mentioned this because I want to praise myself that I look good).

He keeps asking if I have any problems with my bf (it's like he wants me to have problems so I would leave him or something... it's just a vibe I get). My bf doesn't exist btw I had weird vibes from him so I said I have a bf. And if he was my bf he wouldn't let me go alone anywhere so I would be protected and weird shit like that.

He keep asking me where I live and he wants like an actual address.

He keel saying how I should make a fb acc so we could talk (I still have fb I just use my nickname there not real name so he can't find me)

He keeps giving hints how he wants my number.

And I always give short answers. I don't sound interested in him. And I see he's getting more and more mad since I'm not interested. So I'm also not really comfortable telling him that he's making me very uncomfortable. He's kinda strong and it's kinda scary to me since at this hour when I finish with this group people are mostly in school or at work, there are not many people on the streets if he'd lose his temper...

Others in this group come with cars or go to a different direction than me when they go home so I can't really tag along with anyone else.

So I wonder if I should say something to this lady that is in charge of this workshop?

But also I wonder if I should just... endure this to the end it's just 3 months and I just can try to avoid him for 3 months?

I don't want to look crazy or that I overreact.

Again I'm so sorry that this is so long I just wanted to make it more detailed so it makes more sense. I'm so nervous every day. And I'm so nervous to look crazy if I tell him YOU ARE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE... and I'm such a introverted person who is not good with telling others to leave me alone. And if I ask this lady who is in charge of this workshop to help me tell him this I feel like I would also look like I overreact...

Please report this to the people in charge. What he's doing is stalking and harassment and completely unacceptable, and you shouldn't have to just endure it ❤️

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

I have to say from the start that I don't want to talk badly about anyone, but I don't want to keep it inside anymore. I didn't know much about jennie before this bullshit, but I still didn't have any negative thoughts. Unfortunately, in the last few months, I have had the opportunity to get to know you. She has been gossiped with many men so far. I don't know if it's real or not. But I don't think Jennie is bothered by these gossip. I think it even feeds the rumours. If we're going to see that bracelet as proof that she's dating Tae, we have to believe she's dating GD too. The two have countless things in common and the same stuff. If they're not coming out, I think they're doing this just to get on the agenda. He does the same with Tae. I would have thought that maybe if she had tried to hide something, they were actually dating. But it looks like she's trying to show it more. Especially lately, she has been talked about with her stage performance. For once, I would think he was wrong, but no. I can't believe he's so incompetent. She wants to be talked to. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad. I also agree with your thinking that this is a mediaplay. But I guess you believe they are cosplayers or edits. I believe it is real. If this is a game, jennie and tae can be players in this game too. Being seen outside together, acting like lovers around people makes the game more believable in my opinion. I think it's easier and more convincing to take suspicious photos together than editing. From now on, all they need is an attention-seeking pawn to spread the photos and the scenario that changes every day. Even anyone out there who sees them can start a big gossip on social media. They can also wear the same bracelet, no problem. Frankly, when the first photo came, I believed it was an edit. But after a little thought, I saw that there were parts that didn't fit. I can't believe anyone has the skills to find and edit these photos. And it seems a little impossible for companies to remain silent about it for days. Anyway, you probably misunderstood me, but I'm still an army and a hard taekooker. I just think that sometimes being objective strengthens our faith.

It's good to vent sometimes, isn't it?

Whilst I won't go over everything you mentioned, I will touch on the idea of cosplayers, and editing, etc...

Do I think they used Cosplayers? Kinda, yeah, it would explain the photos that were super clear, but the people covered up that they weren't recognisable. I still don't think Tae and Jennie had been anywhere near each other during that period, so don't think there was an opportunity to for them do this. Plus, if YG and HYBE flew them both out to Jeju and there were anywhere near each other, ARMYs and Blinks would have highlighted this within hours or days (Just like Jimin was spotted regularly in January). Jeju is a massive tourist haven, with many ARMY visiting regularly. Plus, things (weird photos, nonsensical use of cars on "private" trip etc) just didn't add up for me in that regard and that's why the body doubles plus editing makes more sense to me.

Overall, I do think I'm quite objective myself, and think every shipper regardless of the ship need to be also, so this is something we can all strive to be.

[xiaosweetheart]

yandere xiao hcs ig <3

character: xiao <33

genre: toxic ? but sfw technically

warnings: yandere xiao; reader is probably a lil insane too LMFAO they jus go along w it like yeah haha hes so silly i love him <3; gn reader; overpossessiveness, jealousy; mentions ? of murder (def nothing explicit); man idk these are yandere hcs just proceed w caution

a/n: more shit to feed yall w while we wait for sfb pt2 <3

         ↬ oh my god. i have so much to say ab yan!xiao .............

         ↬ he is absolutely an obsessive stalker, and maybe a little bit delusional + paranoid too. xiao'll follow you around all day, regardless of if you call his name or not — he's just worried about you is all !! </3 and, to be fair, it's genuinely coming from a place of concern on his behalf <//3

         ↬ xiao is delusional in the sense that he has a nasty little habit of thinking of you as a weak little mortal </3 you're fragile and in need of his protection !! why can't you see that? :/

         ↬ and he's paranoid ab you leaving/abandoning him :( but you wouldn't do that, right? you'll stay by his side forever, won't you ??? ofc you will <3 bc you love him <33 and, in his mind, that means Only he can have you and your attention

         ↬ now. i certainly don't think he'd be a yandere right off the bat — i think his feelings for you would slowly grow for you as you wormed your way into his heart, until those feelings turned into somethimg more, and something more turned into a burning obsession. you were so pretty, and nice, and were always so patient with him, waiting for him to open up to you in his own time, never pressuring him, but letting him know that you were always there whenever he was ready

         ↬ and so, eventually, your relationship began. xiao was. shockingly (physically) clingy with you. he always seemed to be by your side, even if you were going to the habour — he'd often find himself accompanying you there.

         ↬ "to keep you safe obviously," he'd say bluntly when you asked him about why he always followed you around and never strayed too far from your side. you thought he was kidding, for the most part, laughing it off and thinking it was really just bc he felt lonely without you (and tbf, you weren't wrong ab either)

         ↬ honestly ............ i don't think you'd notice he's a yandere at all until some people start to go missing ............... and even then he covers it up relatively well

         ↬ xiao's a smart guy, and he truly is tired of senseless killing, so he tries to keep you all to himself to avoid that problem 💖 he quite literally gatekeeps you from everyone else, and one time, he even Hissed at a guy he thought was being a little too friendly w you

               ↬ he really doesn't want to, but he'll kill anyone who he percieves as a threat (stealing your attention away from him); this extends to friends, family, anyone you talk to for too long without so much as including him in the conversation or paying him any mind

         ↬ you never took any of his jealousy or weird overpossessiveness to heart tho !! you thought it seemed reasonable, given how old he was and how much he had lost, so you purposeful overlooked his .......... Peculiar behavior

         ↬ within the relationship ........... he's actually rather insecure. he's absolutely Terrified of you leaving him, so he'll do everything in his power to make sure you stay — even though you've told him a million times that you're not going anywhere; that your love for him is unconditional. he just. he can't believe it /??;?=??/???? someone as perfect as you loving someone as vile as him ???????

               ↬ from an outside view, no one has ever seen xiao so. so ........... clingy! what kind of spell had you cast over him ? but from the inside view, that's just how he is <3 sure, it was a little tiring, w his near-constant demand for attention, but you didn't mind <33

         ↬ don't get it twisted tho — every now and then he'll just disappear entirely for weeks or months at a time bc his insecurities got the better of him; he's undeserving of you, so he'll isolate himself from the world either until you find him, or until he's decided he misses you too much to be gone for another moment

         ↬ coming back around to his overpossessiveness <3 xiao'll give you lil wearable gifts as a way of marking you as his (i mean. he'll Cover you in hickies too but we're not talkin ab that rn)

         ↬ he'll get you lil necklaces or bracelets, maybe even some earrings ! and sometimes, he'll make you a qingxin flower crown for you <333 but his favorite gift he's given you by far was a slim, black collar — which looked most like a choker w a buckle than anything, save for the little silver heart tag w his name on it <3

         ↬ it serves as a constant reminder that you're his <3 even when he's not by your side, the slight pressure makes sure you don't forget ab him, not even for a moment <33

         ↬ n you're not allowed to take it off either !! not ever !!! bc he'll know. and neither of you rlly wanna deal w those consequences :/

         ↬ xiao would never hurt you physically, he wouldn't be able to live w himself if he did, but his words are sharp, and sting long after they've been said. he'll feel bad if you start to cry tho !! :( holds you in his arms n kisses your tears away </3 even if you try to fight him initially, he knows you'll be better again if you just let him help you (ironic 😒)

masterlist.

[hanemiso]

Operation: Dairy For Dazai

>>>a dazai osamu x reader<<<

request: "omg i love your post about Dazai and his possibility of having lactose intolerance hahaha, i wish you could do a fanfic out from that"

a/n: um this is such a great idea??? this was so much fun to write omg i hope y'all like it! also i know dazai doesn't necessarily drink coffee with milk and sugar/creamer, but for the sake of the story he does! also sorry if the gif looks weird, i couldn't find his weird little run anywhere else.

synopsis: no one has seen dazai drink milk or consume dairy of any kind...it's up to the agency to figure out if dazai is lactose intoleralnt or not!

warnings: one swear word, dazai not being able to handle dairy

"hey atsushi, you ever notice that dazai doesn't consume dairy?"

"what do you mean, y/n?" atsushi asks, glancing up at you from the computer.

"think about it. have you ever seen dazai drink milk? eat cheese? buy ice cream?" you press on, raising your brows.

atsushi takes a second to think before responding with, "now that you mention it, no i haven't...why are you asking anyway?"

"i think dazai is lactose intolerant."

you now have atsushi's full attention as he rolls closer to your desk and furrows his brows. he looks around the room for the brunette you're talking about before turning back to you, "you think so? i don't know...maybe it's like a dietary thing."

you deadpan, "you really think the man who goes out of his way to try new attempts at committing suicide--the one who came into the office with a hallucinogenic mushroom from a random mountain--is concerned with his own nutrition?"

atsushi goes silent and nods his head in agreement.

"come on, atsushi. i mean, why would that be the one thing out of his entire diet that he'd choose to cut out?"

"that's true, i've seen the kinds of things he eats...but why is this something you're interested in?"

"because, atsushi, the thought of THE dazai osamu even having one slight weakness--and the fact that it very well may be dairy, of all things-- is amusing. you don't find it interesting? that he can survive things like bullet wounds and getting kidnapped without any problem, but a glass of milk could completely ruin him?"

atsushi was beginning to take interest in what you were talking about. you had a point, he couldn't deny that. they don't know much about dazai and his life as it is. just as it began clicking in his brain, kunikida walks over to your desk to tell you both to get back to work. at the sound of his footsteps, you turn towards him and before he can say anything at all, you ask him the same question as atsushi. kunikida has a smiliar reaction and response to atsushi, which just adds to the curiosity of dazai's possible dairy problem.

"i don't pay attention to that idiot's diet anyway, nor do i care." he says matter-of-factly.

anyone could tell that kunikida was slightly interested, just by the way he was continuing to linger by your desk as you continued talking about it with atsushi. soon enough, tanizaki had joined the conversation; then ranpo and kenji, and soon everyone in the agency other than fukuzawa. everyone was huddled around your desk, sharing memories of dazai's lack of dairy consumption. it was then decided that this theory of dazai being lactose intolerant would be put to the test when dazai returned to the office.

ranpo had come up with the idea, it wasn't too elaborate but a simple plan that could trick even the likes of dazai into drinking a glass of milk. during the discussion of dazai's dietary habits, it was also brought to everyone's attention by kunikida that it seems dazai doesn't have a high spice tolerance either. with that in mind, the plan was for the agency to have a joint dinner tonight, with curry on the menu tonight; spicy curry to be exact. dazai always flirts with you in the office, so it was your job to distract him by indulging in his pick-up lines and such. once he takes a bite and realizes it's too spicy for him, he'd try to find water to alleviate the pain, but coincidentally there is no water in sight. because of this, he'd be forced to drink the glass of milk you hand him. of course, if this didn't work, for dessert you'd give him a cup of coffee with milk and sugar (he uses non-dairy creamer in his coffee anyway).

you and kyouka set up a table to put the bowls of curry on, while atsushi and kunikida began bringing in the curry. tanizaki, naomi, and ranpo were in charge of getting the desserts to really sell the image of a nice gathering. kenji and yosano were in charge of tinkering with the water pipes to close off any possibility of access to water. this task was treated with such care, as any mission brought into the agency would be. each and every one of you were interested in learning about this side of dazai; are you going the extra mile for such a minuscule detail of someone's life? yes, but will it be amusing to find out the truth? also yes.

soon enough, dazai is spotted out the window. the truth is about to be revealed, and you are all nervous but excited.

"remember guys, act natural! operation: dairy for dazai starts now!" you exclaim quietly.

you can hear everyone take a deep breath and begin "talking" amongst themselves as dazai walks in. he stops in his tracks as he eyes the table holding all the bowls of curry and widens his eyes in surprise.

"oh? what's this?" he asks, gesturing to the table.

"y/n suggested having dinner in the agency tonight, so we got some curry and desserts." atsushi explains.

"have a bowl, dazai-kun." you smile at him as you hand him the bowl of spicy curry.

"ah, you're too nice, my belladonna!" he exclaims and grabs the bowl.

so far so good, you think.

you can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits for dazai to take a bite. the conversations carry on amongst people, but no one was truly paying attention to what was being said. the gazes of each member of the agency shifted to dazai as he raised the spoon up to his mouth. you could hear the sound of everyone in the room holding their breaths, even kunikida was sweating.

once the spoon had been placed in his mouth, everyone froze in place. you and atsushi tried to pretend to not be paying much attention to dazai, but it was so hard not to when all of a sudden he stopped chewing. you both slowly turn your head towards him and see his eyes go wide once again. he hurries to the nearest trashcan and spits out the spoonful, quickly turning and looking for a cup of water on the table.

"w-what's wrong, dazai-san?" atsushi asks, also sweating.

"h-hot! spicy curry! atsushi-kun, i need water! please!" dazai exclaims.

you run to the table and pretend to look for a cup of water before grabbing the glass of milk and hurrying towards dazai.

"sorry dazai-kun, i couldn't find any water, but i heard milk helps with the pain!" you hold out the glass of milk.

it feels like time stops as dazai sits there, breathing shallows breaths in attempts to stop the fire in his mouth, and contemplating whether he wants to try his luck with continuing to gasp for air or drinking the milk. he hates suffering, after all. in his mind, all that matters at this moment is extinguishing the flames dancing on his tongue. he grabs the glass, just as planned, and drinks a couple big gulps. everyone is now turned to him, asking if he's okay.

"i'm...fine." he says between pants.

now it was only a matter of time. the dinner continued as normal, but dazai wasn't as social as usual. he sat down with you and atsushi as you continued to talk about different missions.

"oh yeah, dazai-kun, do you remember--" you turn to look at him but realize he's staring at the ground intently as sweat beads on his face, "dazai?"

he blinks once and tries regaining his composure as he looks up at you with his usual smile, "yes, belladonna?"

"are you feeling alright?" you ask with concern laced in your voice.

"of course i am!" dazai tries to reply cheerily, but his bright tone is cut off by a rumbling in his stomach that makes his face twist.

he tries replacing his expression with a smile again, but it looks more pained as another low rumble emits from his body. at this point, everyone in the office is stealing glances. he looks back at the ground as his eyes widen yet again, and only two words are uttered before he takes off running to the bathroom:

"oh shit."

everyone stares at the door, processing what just happened. it was so silent, the only sound you could hear was dazai's rapid footsteps echoing down the hall.

"i knew it." you smirk a bit to yourself.

but your feeling of victory is brief as the horrid smell invades your nostrils. your poor co-workers get assaulted by the same stench, and you all are forced to evacuate.

operation: dairy for dazai was a success, but at what cost?

------------------------------------------

BONUS: how chuuya found out about dazai's lactose intolerance

chuuya was the only person who knew of dazai's problem with dairy, but the way he found out was purely accidental and scarred him.

the event took place when they were 17, and they were both stopping for a drink at a local cafe after a mission. the mission wasn't too bad, but it was early in the morning and chuuya wanted coffee. dazai told him it would stunt his already lacking growth, so chuuya wasn't in the greatest mood; he never was around dazai.

"i wanna sit down so you can order for me!" dazai claps his hands together.

"hey! i don't wan-" chuuya begins to protest but dazai cuts him off while walking away.

"you know what i like!"

chuuya grumbles in annoyance as he heads to the counter and orders two drinks. in his fit of anger, he accidentally ordered two coffees with milk and sugar, but failed to notice as he brought the cups to the table dazai sat at. he narrows his eyes as he sets the cup down in front of dazai and sits across from him. chuuya stares out the window to try and tune out dazai when he hears dazai ask him something quietly.

"is there...milk in this?"

chuuya scoffs and replies, "what's wrong, can't handle a bit of milk?"

he was obviously joking, but the sound that emits from dazai's body in response makes him realize it was no joke. dazai quickly stands and runs to the bathroom while chuuya sits there in disbelief, but with the hope that the rest of the day won't be ruined because of it.

that was wishful thinking though, as they frequently had to stop at public restrooms on their way home and chuuya had to deal with the rancid odor that followed dazai as closely as his own shadow.

taglist: @justmycupoftea93 @loveliestmolly @darlingimawitch @b-i-t-t-i-e-s @browneyespinkhair @silverstar22x @stupidfrogfreak @anotakugardener @jhopesstickeredcarrier @joyfulartisanstudentlamp @spacedoutcoffeebeans @puddingowo66 @kaeyapng @beomluvrr @imobsessedwithskkanditshows

[colossal-fallout]

[ Classified ]

The full report - Eren Yeager

The following report details all information on Eren Yeager. Contains NSFW content and reader must be over the age of 18 to view this document.

For your eyes only.

Name: Eren Yeager

Birthplace: Shiganshina

Height: 180cm / 5ft 9"

General

[ A1 ]

Appearance & Hygiene practices:

Eren's chestnut brown hair is always clean and fresh. Whenever he pays you a late night visit, he'll have most probably just gotten out of the shower. Coconut scented shampoo of sorts? Whatever it is, it smells so good.

Prefers showers over a bathe. He says it's to save time, but he spends a good 40 - 60 minutes in there, easily.

Once he's dry, likes to throw on jogger bottoms and a hoodie over his bare skin. His bare skin that is now so soft and scented as his favourite shower gel which is either tea-tree oil or Coconut.

If he wants to remain clean shaven, Eren must shave every 2-3 days. Sometimes he likes to grow it out but nothing ever past a long stubble.

Minimal body hair.

Trims the hairs on his pubic bone/lower stomach. Has pleasuring you in mind as he does so. Will take into consideration the friction against you.

Totally clean shaven testicles.

Eren's nails are short but that's because he bites them. [ see section A3 ]

Beautiful set of teeth. Brushes twice daily in a modern AU.

Eren adores it when you brush his hair for him. He finds it extremely relaxing as you massage his scalp. His eyes will close and a small, barely audible hum will emit from time to time.

Eren's skin care routine is pretty basic. All of the steam from sitting in his hot, frequent showers for so long seems to do him wonders - his skin is flawless and worthy of envy.

Due to the healing power of being a Titan shifter, Eren has no scars.

Eren has quite large hands with long fingers. He doesn't wear rings or jewellery as it reminds him of the burden of when he had to keep that damn key on him at all times. Will however, put up with a wedding ring.

[A2]

Body & Love language:

Eren is a pretty introverted person. His hands are usually tucked away inside of his pockets - be it either trousers or hoody/jacket.

He hunches a little too. Likes to feel hidden. He's had enough attention over the years and wants nothing more than to just shrink away in a crowded room. Or maybe, it's the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Brooding, moody exterior. Extreme "resting bitch face"

Shrugs a lot. At first glance, you'd think he was a moody teenager trapped in a grown man's body.

Likes to sit with his feet flat up on the chair with his knees splayed - you'll usually find him like this with an arm resting over a knee while the other is at a 90 degree angle pointing away from his hip.

Fumbles his hands together in formal occasions when he can't sit so casually or tuck them away.

Likes to drape his arm over you without touching you. His arm will rest above you on the top of the chair. A clear indication of "They're mine" and "I will keep you safe"

His hips will usually be swivelled in your direction, regardless of where you are in the room. A subconscious body language of sexual yearning.

Eren likes to hold hands with you when you're walking. He's not huge on PDA but likes the strong yet subtle showings that you're together.

Tends to rub his thumb over the back of your hand absent-mindedly when you do so.

His love languages include physical touch. Can get very needy and touch starved pretty easily. Not in a overbearing way, but even just a run of his slender fingers through your hair is enough to keep him going until the two of you are in a more private setting.

[A3]

Bad Habits & Tendencies:

As mentioned above, Eren bites his finger nails. His toe nails too. It's pretty gross to be honest.

He never does it in public, but he has been known to do it in front of you when he feels comfortable enough to do so.

Get's very fidgety when irritated or annoyed, which is pretty often. Especially if Jean is around.

Short temper. He's learned to tame it more over the years where he doesn't show it so easily. But everyone has their limit and when his is reached, his yell is booming and pretty intimidating.

During an argument with you he has been known to raise his voice, but it's not the frightening roar you've heard him unleash on others before.

Always apologises to you after he's calmed down. Even though it wasn't that bad.

If you two ever have a bad falling out, will lock himself away for days. He'll be pissed at himself for letting it get so bad and depressed that you two are having such problems. But he'll do anything he can to fix it.

[ A4 ]

Common misconceptions:

Obviously everyone has their own cannons and opinions. But I don't personally see Eren as being an abusive partner. Yeah, he has his problems and treats his friends like shit but there's a reason for that we'll probably see in the last chapter. If you're worthy enough to pierce that cold and distant shell, you're a very special person and he'll treat you as such.

Eren actually has a large heart hidden under that huge chip on his shoulder. He cares and loves the people around him unconditionally. Even to the point of carrying out mass genocide to protect them.

Still... He does have a dark side to be weary of at times.

Even though he's gross while in Liberio, usually Eren is actually pretty clean.

[ A5 ]

Food & Drink:

In a Modern AU Eren loves fancy coffees with the weird names. The longer to pronounce, the better. He just likes the fact they give him energy and the fancier ones taste good.

Due to not having meat for so long, a good ol' fashioned beef/lamb stew is his favourite.

Doesn't drink in canon.

Modern AU, his alcoholic beverage of choice is bottles of beer and craft ales. Sometimes is a sucker for red wine.

[ A6 ]

Modern Au:

Eren wears loose clothing. Hoodies, loose jeans, those baggy cardigans too.

His texting style is spam over one long message. Especially if he's pissed off. He's too impatient to sit and type in paragraphs.

Drives a black car. Don't ask me what type, I don't know cars. But it's black, 'kay?

It also has "black ice" air freshener inside.

Likes to ride quads and mopeds along fields. He's a thrill seeker. Rollercoasters, bungee jumping... you name it he's game.

Eren plays the guitar. He took lessons for it but after about a year he just went his own way and self-taught.

If he sees a guitar at a party, he will pick it up and play it. He won't sing though.

He actually hates singing. He finds it embarrassing.

Always has in his air pods/earphones.

Likes any sort of music that is catchy.

Probably streams on Twitch. He won't talk much though.

Could have a wide range of jobs. Coffee shop, could be in college, might be a ride attendant... who knows? It's anyone's guess what Eren is doing. He doesn't talk about himself that much.

Romance & NSFW

[ B1 ]

Crush:

Eren would definitely be in denial he has a crush on you at first.

• “Does y/n seem different to you?”

Armin; “No…? In what way?”

“I dunno… Just, different.”

• His poor stubborn brain would be ticking for weeks as to why he suddenly wants to be near you a lot more often and has urges to touch you, even if it’s just a slight brush against your arm.

• Will find any excuse to do extra training with you

• Once he FINALLY clicks on as to why he’s had these feelings, he’ll be pretty knocked off his feet and a little annoyed at himself.

I’m here to kill the enemy...

• Still though… Can’t seem to keep himself away.

[ B2 ]

First kiss & general kisses:

After the initial denial and keeping himself away, he'll just decide one day he's had enough of feeling this way and decides to to something about it.

He won't shove himself onto you. He'll do some sly probing to see if there is any indication of reciprocation.

Knowing Eren, he'll indirectly piss you off or insult you. He didn't mean to. He's just lacking social skills. Man aint smooth.

You'll slap him, probably, where he'll keep his head away from you for a few seconds, realising he's pushed you too far. Whichever side you palmed him away, he'll stay.

He'll slowly return his gaze to yours before gently holding your arms, apologising and planting his lips onto yours.

His general kisses are quite firm and forceful. Not in an aggressive way, but a "god I want you so bad" way.

Always either slides his arms around your waist or cups your face/head.

He tastes like sweetened tea <3 / Coffee in a Modern AU

Loves coming from behind and snaking his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck when you're doing something. Doesn't like it when your attention is away from him for too long.

When he's feeling soft and tender, will dance his nose with yours and catching your mouth in a caress.

When he's super turned on, he'll suck your tongue, bite your bottom lip and kiss anywhere he can.

[ B3 ]

Sex:

Ha ~~!

Eren is up there with the best when it comes to sex. He knows what he's doing and he does it well.

Extremely skilled with his fingers and tongue. He'll have you crawling the walls with hysteria as he likes to tease you throughout the day. He more than makes up for it, though.

Gropes, nips, kisses, licks, bites, flicks... anywhere and everywhere he can.

Is the most vocal when you perform oral sex on him. Will groan so deeply, his entire body will vibrate.

Dirty talk is this man's second language.

"Look how desperate you are for me." / "Look how desperate for you you've gotten me..."

"Do I feel good like this?"

"Am I making you feel good baby?"

"You're so good at that. Fuck, such a good girl/boy"

"S'so fuckin' tight."

"You're my little fuck thing, aren't you?"

"You're perfect."

"I love you..."

Are some of the many things you'll hear while he's fucking you.

He doesn't really have a favourite position. He'll gladly take you anyway he can. If he's in a rough mood, he'll bend you over the sofa, take you up against the wall... But if he's feeling more soft he'll make slow, passionate love to you for hours.

He does have a strong soft side at times.

Dominic Dominant. He loves seeing you totally at his mercy, the power over you the most arousing thing in the world to him.

Big daddy dilf vibes. He knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking good at it too.

The only time he’ll sub is if he wants to be lazy - letting you ride him and use him to your heart’s content.

Dirty talk. It can get pretty degrading at times. If you’re not into that, he respects that boundary.

Will absolutely ruin you.

Low-key loves it when you claw his back in hysteria. He thrives knowing he can send you absolutely insane, and he can just heal the claw marks in a matter of seconds. Sometimes even during sex (which is the hottest thing ever)

In an AU modern, he would love to fuck you near a large mirror or record you both getting at it to watch at a later date.

A lot of hissing, humming and low groaning, especially when he’s close to unloading.

Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Hair pulling is his overload language. Will tug fistfuls when he gets too turned on.

[ B4 ]

Kinks:

The risk of getting caught. He likes having risky sex in semi public locations. Makes a game of how loud he can get you to moan, knowing someone would probably hear you.

Light Degradation. When he’s in a rough mood, he doesn’t mind calling you a few names. Nothing too extreme. And if it’s not your thing, he’ll respect that boundary.

Loves a good ol’ 69. Having you on his face with your ass in view is just… *Chef’s kiss*

Speaking of ass, he loves to bend you over too, allowing himself in nice and deep with a great view and something Juicy to grab.

[ B5 ]

Aftercare:

Aftercare with Eren isn’t anything special unfortunately. He’s another who gets sleepy after sex.

Won’t ignore you though. Often lazy pillow talk is on the cards and telling you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you are.

Will run his fingers across your scalp to soothe you.

Also will kiss any bite marks or finger bruises he’s left behind and ask if you’re okay.

Relationship with loved ones & becoming serious

[ C1 ]

Friends & Family:

When Eren meet's your friends family he will be polite yet quiet. He wants them to like him but he won't pine for their approval. If they like him, awesome. If they don't...? No big deal.

Same goes with your friends. He'll stay quiet until spoken to at first, but once he's been eased into conversation, he'll flow with it a lot easier.

Again, he'll be polite but don't expect him to kiss ass, because he certainly wont.

[ C2 ]

Marriage:

You couldn’t actually believe Eren had proposed. Although he was down on one knee in front of your very eyes, your mind just wasn’t accepting it. Folks and onlookers watched with bated breath, awaiting your answer. He sure kept this surprise hidden well…

Of course, you said yes and he picked you up by your waist in a spin, colliding his lips to yours.

And now here he was, watching you walk down the aisle, a lump in his throat and his heart racing.

You looked gorgeous, like something from a fairy tale.

And of course, he looked as handsome as ever. His suit was smart and his hair was up in its usual bun.

Armin is his best man, of course; who is standing and beaming with pride.

Eren holds back his chokes and tears as he reads his vows;

“Y/N… From the first time I ever laid eyes on you, all those years ago, I knew you would be in my life forever. Back then, I didn’t think it would be as my wife, but God I am so glad it is. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and irrational behaviour when we were young. But despite that you still loved, and stood by me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. I vow to always stand beside you, whatever the world throws at us. I vow to hold you when you need support. I vow to remember how you always had my back no matter what. And I vow to always love you, with my heart and soul, until the day I die and after.”

The room erupts in cheers and tears when you seal your kiss.

The reception is wild.

Everyone is drunk (except Levi) and dancing. Reiner and Connie are dancing like weirdos, Reiner's blazer removed and at one point Connie is on his shoulders.

Sasha has too much to drink and is spewing in the bathroom.

Mikasa can’t stop crying with happiness and pride.

He carries you to your room afterwards where you spend all night sealing a special bond that will never be broken.

[ C3 ]

Children:

Eren has a soft spot for children, believe it or not. As seen before the expedition to the forest of giant trees. He sees his old self behind the innocent glint of unaltered admiration within a child's eyes.

He's not super into child play though. He wont pull weird voices or funny faces. He'll sit at their level and speak to them like they were anyone else. Obviously, watching what he says around them.

If they're unchecked and acting themselves, he'll become quickly annoyed as they wreck havoc around him and will have to leave the room or he'll get too agitated.

If his s/o discovers they're pregnant he'll seem to take it well. But inside he's falling apart and freaking out. He won't ever show it to them, but he doesn't know how he could be a father. Would he be like his own? Would he be able to be a good figure to look up to? What if he fails? Is it selfish to bring a child into this cruel world?

He'll be shocked but understandably so. After after a couple of weeks of self-reflection and brooding, he'll start to feel better about the whole thing.

More protective over his s/o than usual. Will make sure they're eating, drinking, resting and god help you if he finds you doing something you shouldn't such as trying to lift something heavy.

Will hold your hair and rub you back, as well as bring you water while you're having your morning sickness.

"Babe? It's four in the afternoon. How come you're still sick?"

"Eren, it's called morning sickness but it can happen any time."

He'll click his tongue. "....That's a dumb name, then."

The first time he feels the baby kick within you, his heart absolutely melts. His eyes enlarge and you could swear you saw them soften with that spark behind his emerald greens he had when you were younger.

His large palm is warm against your stomach as he feels around, the little flutter of your child hitting against his skin making him flinch in surprise at first.

"Woah..." He'll gasp in amazement. "They're already so strong. Hey, y/n? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes." You'll laugh softly.

He'll gingerly place his face to your skin, a little embarrassed he's doing this; but he feels the need. "...Don't hurt your mom, okay?"

As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, he will not leave your side. If he has to, he'll be worrying and you'll be occupying his mind. In a modern au, he'll constantly call and text and will get Mikasa or Armin to check in on you often.

Will be so gentle during love making. He's terrified he'll hurt the baby.

One of the only times you've seen Eren panic in his adult life is when your waters break.

You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. Climbed back into bed and felt a strange pressure, followed by a pop. Then a warm gushing sensation. You wait a few seconds to settle your own panic before you nudge Eren awake.

"Eren..."

He'll bolt up, confused. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Eren, my waters have broken."

"Shit. Okay. Shit. What do we do? Shit." He'll leap out of bed and throw the lights on. You get to your feet where more water will start to drop onto the floor. "Shit, shit. I'll get the bag. Do you need help getting dressed? Okay, where's my jacket? WHERE'S MY JACKET?!"

"Eren, honey I need to you calm down."

"Okay, sorry. I'm calm. Shit. Shit..."

Will hold your hand with a worried look the entire time you're in labour. Has water and snacks on hand.

Will watch in amazement as your child is pushed into the world. This magical moment changes something in him, but right now he's not sure what that is.

They will bond immediately. As soon as he holds your son/daughter he can't take his wide gaze off them.

They're inseparable.

Any doubts of being a bad father is washed away as he takes them under his wing and teaches them about the world.

[emo-floof-child-writes]

Day 020: Unlucky.

Featuring Steve Harrington.

Robin Buckley and Nancy Wheeler mentioned.

672 words. This may be my shortest one. I am not happy with it, tbh. If you hate one, know I do too.

Last night Steve dreamt he was fighting monsters again. You would think that by now he would be used to it, or unphased by it, but even after four years, he still wakes up in a cold sweat anyway. He pants as he runs a hand through his hair. This has to die down sometime right? He asks himself, with a groan. Surely when I'm forty I'm not gonna wake up and reach for my nail bat because I heard a screech in my dreams. Steve scoffs, as he sits up in his bed. Who am I kidding? I'm never making it to forty so why even worry about whether I get nightmares about these monsters then? He scoffs, looking at his shadow in the light of his lamp he keeps on his nightstand. It shines against the far wall, shining against the bare minimum of a room.

He shakes his head, climbing out of bed. I need to clear my head. He looks at his clock, and groans. 3:07 am. Guess I am doing a very early start today. To be honest, he had a lot of early starts recently. And they keep getting earlier. He walks down the stairs, opting to get a glass of water and maybe some food if he was actually gonna wake up this early. What am I gonna do this early? I don't even have a job anymore thanks to that “earthquake” that wizard freak Vecna pulled. He rubs his eyes, trying to wash away the past four years knowing that it will never leave him. Why am I even complaining anyways? Max is in a coma, that is way worse than nightmares! At least I can wake up from them, she is stuck in the deepest sleep a human could be in.

Not to mention how the kids feel about it, especially Lucas... He opens a cupboard to find a glass. He pulls it out, only to have it slip out of his hand, and shatter on the floor. “SH!T!” He exclaims, as he runs to grab the broom and dustpan. As if my morning could get any worse. He thinks, as he starts to sweep the floor with the broom. He looks down at the mess, and collapses onto the floor, with a sigh that could shatter anyone's spirits. How did we end up being this unlucky? Why here, in Hawkins Indiana, did all of this sh!t happen? Couldn't this have happened anywhere else? Why must the kids here in Hawkins be the guinea pigs to this demon-like dimension? He looks at the mess surrounding him, and runs a hand through his hair. This needs to stop pronto.

He stands up, going back to cleaning this mess up. “I'm gonna be the one to fix this. I'm done fighting this war against creatures humans can't fathom. And losing people to it.” He nods, as he takes the dustpan full of glass to the trash can. ”No one else will have to suffer as long as I can destroy that fu¢king place.” He sets the now empty dustpan onto the counter, before running a hand through his hair. The only problem is how do you defeat a psychic wizard guy with a dimension of horrors on his side? He wonders, before setting his jaw. No. We're figuring this out on the off chance it can save Max and the kids. Maybe I should bring Rob and Nance in on this, see if they have any ideas, since they are better at this planning thing than me. He nods, and weird confidence flows through him that wasn't there before. 

We're beating that son of a b!tch's @ss into next year. He'll never harm another fu¢king kid on my dutiful watch. Hawkins will be a normal, tiny town where nothing happens again. With this new found confidence, he puts away the broom and dustpan, and runs to find some paper to maybe write down ideas. We'll figure this out. We have to.

[jacscorner]

Fox McCloud of Kongo Bongo Part 1

Hello, beautiful friends. I'm simul-posting this silly fanfic idea I had for a while now. Cause Fox McCloud X Tiny Kong content doesn't exist except for the content I made myself, so I'm making a fic dedicated to my silly Sword & Planet doodle I did some months back.

With all that said, I hope you all enjoy, and sorry for any spelling and grammar faults. I'll fix them after the post if someone points 'em out to me, but this fic is being written by the seat of my pants and pretty casually.

The Lylat System was quiet. It had been a short year since the return of Andross when Fox McCloud and the Star Fox team had stopped Andross from destroying Corneria and taking over the system. Fox McCloud, leader of Team Star Fox, was piloting his Arwing past Sector X. The strange nebula was once the secret base for Andross and his operations during the First Lylat War, but now the odd cosmic cloud in the shape of a cross was just a quiet landmark through the system. At least, so it should.

[This is Pepper. Come in, Fox.]

Fox gave a tired grunt, losing his concentration and focus as he reached for the communicator strapped to his head and flipped it on. "You're clear, Peppy."

[Are ya seein' anything there, Fox?]

"That's a negative." Fox said as he checked his instruments again. "I'm still getting those weird readings that Slippy picked up, but I'm not seeing anything."

[Ya shoulda waited at the Great Fox like I told ya, Fox.]

Fox gave a roll of his eyes as he said, "Peppy, stop worrying so much." After the return of Andross every low life of the system seemed to go into hiding. True peace was still out of reach, and there was always work for the members of Team Star Fox, but finding any big named criminals who tried to fill the same niche Andross were hard to come by. In a way, Fox didn't like this; as a mercenary, he lived to fight. Was it wrong to think that way? Most certainly; peace in the Lylat System, where no little kid lost their father like he did, was the ultimate goal. But he needed food on the table like anyone else did.

[Wolf O'Donnell is still at large, Fox. He could be setting up a trap for ya.]

Cap'n Wolf O'Donnel, the name rang in Fox's ear. He could still see the burning, red scar on that wolf's face, the yellow of his eyes burning into his own. Out of all the mercenaries Andross hired to take him and Miyu out, Wolf was probably the best. His equal in almost every way and nearly sent him to his doom. It was the most intense fight Fox had ever been in; for the first time in his life, Fox truly feared that he was gonna die.

And yet, ever since then, there's been a hole in his chest that he couldn't quiet fill.

"If Wolf's out there, then I'll be ready for him."

[Fox, you're-]

"End transmission." Fox didn't wait for a reply, turning off his head piece. He wasn't in the mood to keep listening to Peppy badger him over this; besides, if Wolf was out here, then he would've shown his face by now, right? There wasn't anywhere to hide in Sector X, it wasn't anything by burning gas and bright light.

"One more pass around." Fox told himself, initiating another scan. If nothing was here, then he should turn back and head back for the Great Fox. At least, that's what he should do, but he was in no real rush to make it back to Peppy and listen to him nag his ear off. He cruised around Sector X thinking about how he'd rather go to Titania. There's a nice little saloon there, perfect place to refuel his Arwing and drink his problems away. Just the thought of Titania ale was tempting Fox to ditch his mission. It was weird; he wasn't much of a drinker before, by after the first Lylat War, he grew a taste for alcohol.

Suddenly, Fox jerked the controls on his Arwing, suddenly him into a dive just in time to avoid a photon shot. His instincts kicked in just in time, but where the hell did that come from?! He looked on his radar, seeing nothing, but then looked to see an incoming transmission message. He didn't even patch it through or have the chance to reject the message when a scarred face appeared on screen.

"Hello, pup."

"Wolf!" Fox growled as he glanced up, seeing the lone, quad-wing ship cut through the unforgiving void as he rocketed right for the vulpine pilot. Fox bared his fangs, starting to charge right for Wolf like a demented game of chicken. "I knew you were skulking about these parts!"

"And I knew you'd come with the right bait." Wolf chuckled, his shields deflecting Fox's photon shots as he fired back with his own. "And now it's time I pay back the debt I racked up back on Macbeth."

With some expert barrel rolls, Fox was able to deflect Wolf's own shots, the two ships crossing the other's paths.

"Not to mention I'm paying you back for killing the rest of my team." Wolf snarled, spinning his ship around and beginning to chase Fox through space. His ship let out rapid volleys of hot orange shots on Fox's tail, but Fox managed to evade each shot. Fox could feel Wolf gritting his teeth as he managed to evade each shot. It was like Fox had eyes on the back of his head and Wolf couldn't get a clean shot!

[Fox, come in! Fox! Fox, answer me!]

Meanwhile, Fox couldn't shake Wolf from his tail; it was like Wolf was glued on! He tried to perform a somersault, but Wolf was right behind him, gunning for his engines. He felt his air form a lump in his throat; Wolf was giving him no chance to breath or get any space to counter attack.

"Get back here, brat!" Wolf called out, but Fox was too focused to be distracted or baited by the bounty hunter.

[H-hey! F-Fox, can you hear-ribbit?!]

"Want me?! Come and get me!" Fox called back at Wolf. With a well-timed barrel role, he deflected Wolf's volley of shots and slammed the breaks. Wolf flew right past him and was reading right for the burning mass that was Sector X before Fox chased Wolf down. Now that the tables had turned, Fox was going for the kill, charging up a photon shot that he aimed right for Wolf's engine, prepared to finish off his rival once and for-

[HEY GENIUS! WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?! GET OUTTA THERE!]

Falco's shrieking in Fox's ear piece made him release his shot just before the charge was done, nailing Wolf right in the back of his ship, just missing his engine. Wolf started to climb up and get away, but Fox was more focused on the ringing in his ear. It felt like a siren was blaring with how loud it was.

"...Wait, that's not my ear." Fox flinched as he looked at his were going crazy! Before he could decipher what was happening, a sudden, brighter light came from Sector X. In the center of the nebula's glowing cross appeared,a void of purple light that began to swell and open up.

"A Worm Hole!" Fox realized it too late! He tried to pull away, but this Worm Hole was sucking him in! His controls were starting to lock up; try as Fox might, but he couldn't escape the gravity field the Worm Hole was projecting! It was like a hand had grabbed his ship and started to pull him in by force!

"What is this?! I can't get away!" Wolf shouted, doing no better as his ship was being lured right into the vortex as well.

Fox couldn't think; Wolf's screaming and the Arwing blaring were growing more and more distant as they fell closer to the Worm Hole. His life was starting to flash before his eyes; Fox thought that fear would grip his heart, yet he was oddly calm. Life, death; they didn't seem to matter anymore. Or, rather, Fox felt ready to embrace his fate. Day to day life felt more and more like a chore for the mercenary. And while he didn't rush towards death, he wasn't against letting it come to him. As the light began to fade and sound turn to nothingness, Fox felt ready to embrace death like a bride.

And then, nothingness.

This wasn't the first time Fox had entered a Warp Zone, but this was different from the last time.

The last time, back in the first Lylat War, was a constant bombardment of light and sound. Blues and pinks, odd sounds that made Fox think of some odd, old-school music. It was dizzying back then, yet it felt oddly natural. As if nothing was weird at all; or maybe the odd Warp Zone was manipulating him though the protective hull of his Arwing, making him feel relaxed when any sign man would be panicking and screaming, crashing their ship to any and every piece of debris in the void in a misguided attempt to confirm if what they were being subjected to was real or just a dream they couldn't wake up from.

It wasn't like that this time at all; in fact, it was the exact opposite. Fox couldn't see anything, it was all dark. It wasn't black as night or even dark like space. There was no source of any light, not even from his Arwing. He couldn't see his own hand even if it was trembling in front of his own face. He couldn't hear anything either; not Wolf's screaming, not that he could tell if he was or not, not the alarms his Arwing should've been giving off, not even the sound of his own heart.

He couldn't feel anything either. Not the taste of his own spit, not the seat he was sure he was still sitting in, nor the controls his hands wouldn't let go of with his vice-like grip. Fox felt as though he was cramped inside of his cockpit, yet weightless, and his sad attempt to anchor himself in place was useless. Was this what death was like or was this just the odd void he was trapped in.

How long would he be here? Would he die here? Could he die here? And just how long has he been here? At first, he thought it was just five minutes, but at the same time, he felt that he had been floating here for five hours. It was getting so bad that Fox couldn't tell if he was even still in the cockpit. Was he awake? Thinking in his sleep? Were his eyes even open?

CRASH!

Suddenly, all of his senses hit him like a hammer upside the head. A low groan escaped Fox's muzzle; he wanted to feel something, but now it was pain. His body felt sore and stiff; it felt like he had slept all day and hadn't moved a muscle, but somehow worse. Like he was stuck in his cockpit for weeks. His eyes slowly peeled open with a groan as a setting sun's light pierced his retinas like a hot laser.

With a grimace, the fox blindly reached across the console to open the hatch to his cockpit. His ears twitched anxiously with the lack of any cockpit opening sounds. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he tried to press the button again, but noticed how it felt through his leather glove.

Cold.

His console felt ice cold. The Arwing wasn't running. Fox tried to fire it up, but he didn't even catch the sputter of the engine.

"Great. My Arwing's dead..." Fox grunted as he adjusted his seat. With a hard kick of his metallic leg, Fox kicked the glass shielding off of his Arwing before he dragged himself out. Popping his neck and shoulders, Fox looked around. He was on some kind of beach, but this didn't look like any beach he knew. The sand was black as night and gave a beautiful, if not ominous, shine under the setting, red sun. He looked ahead of him, seeing crimson waves push and as high tide began to set in. Behind him, a massive jungle, but there were smoke stacks poking from the tree line. Black clouds of smog began were pouring into the air, obscuring Fox's view from looking beyond the trees.

"Where in Lylat am I...?" Fox mumbled, but he questioned if he was really still in the Lylat System at this point. He reached for his head piece and began to speak. "Fox to the Great Fox, do you hear me guys?" He was met with a chorus of static in his ears. "Great, my Arwing's dead and now I can't even call for help." Just as Fox thought things couldn't get worse, he heard something.

Marching?

Fox pulled out his blaster, turning behind him and preparing to fire a warning shot, but was promptly met with a pair of larger guns pointing at his face. They looked crude and rudimentary as opposed to his own blaster, but they were not only much bigger, but there were five crocodiles pointing what looked like brass-and-steel blunderbusses at Fox's head, florescent tubes sticking out of the sides of their guns.

"Don't even think about it, furball." The croc snarled, his body bulging with muscles covered by mostly green scales. "Drop your blaster and come quietly or your hide will make a nice rug."

"Oh damn..."

[kellyashcroft]

It’s You C.7 - Why Does It Hurt?

Summary:  I’m Embry and I don’t think much of this whole soulmate business. What are the chances that in a sea of 7 billion people you’ll just find your soulmate? What’s the point in wasting your time with relationships with people that aren’t your soulmate? On the off chance that one or both of you do meet the one you’re destined for, it’s just gonna cause unnecessary pain but what’s the alternative? Stay alone forever waiting for someone that might never show up? I’m 26 and I still don’t have my mark and I’m tired of waiting.

Word Count: 3900

Warnings: Angst, mentions of parental death, mentions of physical pain, mentions of torture, fluff

A/N: Sorry it’s late, it’s been a busy week! This is the longest chapter yet, I’ve combined two chapters because the next one was really short but the next update will still be on Monday. Please let me know what you think and I will list the masterlink below for you! Thank you fpr reading, I hope you enjoy it! 

Series Masterlink

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Will wakes up not much longer after me and as I keep my eyes on the television, I feel his head shift down to look at me.

"Sorry, I fell asleep" he mumbles and I move my head to meet his eyes, still being held in his arms. 

"It's okay, so did I, I've only been awake maybe, ten minutes, I didn't want to wake you"

"I should go" he says as he moves to get up off the couch. He plants his feet on the ground as he stands up and brushes his hand through his hair as I turn my body to sit upright on the couch, wishing it was still two minutes ago rather than this awkward, weirdness.  “I don’t mean, I don’t want to- - I mean” he stutters as he scratches the back of his neck and I squint my eyes at him, “it’s late and I can’t stay the night, I’ve got no clean clothes here or anything”

"No, I get it" I answer quickly, realising that I did actually want him to stay and a silence falls over the two of us again as we both look anywhere but at each other.

"I'll just, get" he points behind his head, "get my coat then" he says quietly as I look back at him as his voice grabs my attention. 

"Okay, I'll walk you out" I say back as I get up and walk him towards the front door.

He hesitates just outside the door frame as he turns back to me and I lean slightly on the door.

"Embry" he starts, "do you? I mean, um, I" his nervous energy makes me stand up straighter, my heart racing in my chest. He lets out a breathy chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck with his hand again; I guess he does that a lot when he's nervous. "I had a really nice time tonight, thank you" he smiles up at me once he's decided on his words.

"I had a really nice time too, we should do it again sometime" his smile only grows wider at my words and a second later he leans in and places a quick, unsure kiss on my cheek and I feel my face blush.

"See you tomorrow" he says quickly as he turns to go to his car, looking back towards me as he gets into the driver’s seat and I offer a small wave and then he's gone.

I go back into my house, making sure to lock the door and find my phone, already having received a text from Will.

   ⁃    I really had an amazing time with you. Sorry I fell asleep. I really hope we can do it again, maybe next time I can cook for you? Good night, Em. 

I can't help but smile and notice the nickname he's given me and I realise no one else has ever shortened my name. It seems weird to think about because it seems so obvious, but no one ever has and I like the thought that maybe he will be the only one to ever call me it. I quickly text back.

   ⁃    I had a great time too. It's okay, you look cute when you sleep. I'd love that. Goodnight.

I walk up the stairs into my bedroom, put on my favourite pyjamas again, now that they're washed, and slip into bed, hoping for a peaceful night’s sleep, but that's not what I get. 

-

"You really just can't stay out of the way can you?" I hear a woman's voice say in an angry tone as I feel something being dragged from my face and I take a deep breath. "Always in the way!" 

The woman grabs my left arm and picks up a metal device as she places it over the mark on my wrist and I let out a scream in pain. 

"It'll stop hurting soon, we've done this before, stop fidgeting" she scolds and my blood turns cold at the pain and fear I'm feeling.

"What did you do with him?" I whisper through the pain. "Where is he?"

"Oh he's fine, don't worry, you won't remember him soon enough anyway" she says. What does she mean, I won't remember him? 

The woman keeps the device pressed against my skin for what feels like forever and the pain increases and decreases in intensity over time. I hear my own screams and whimpers and I try to fight her off as she has more straps added to restrain me. 

Eventually she stops and the pain subsides a little as she removes the device. I manage a glance down at my mark through my hooded and watery eyes, exhausted from the torture I've just endured and notice that the mark on my wrist is lighter, less prominent.

-

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

I jolt awake, yet again, to the sound of my alarm blaring and slowly I reach over to hit the snooze button, hoping for just five more minutes; enough time to collect my thoughts, before I get up out of bed, and start my usual routine of brushing my teeth, washing my body, putting on make up and getting dressed. 

I decide again to drive to work today, feeling too tired to walk, as much as I miss my near the beach walks home and as I stop at some traffic lights I remember being here and my wrist hurting. I realise it was him I saw, Will. He was the guy walking across the street. I remember the same dark brown hair, the same smile, the dimple. He was the guy who's hand I shook and felt the same pain again. But the mark isn't supposed to hurt. I've never heard anyone ever say it hurt them to get their mark, so why did mine hurt?

I'm pulled from my thoughts yet again as the lights change and I continue my drive to work but I can't seem to shake the feeling that something's wrong. Surely there must be a reason that ours was so different? I make a mental note to go to Clive's after work and ask him if he knows anything about it. He knows an awful lot more about them than me, he practically wrote a thesis on them at one point, maybe he can help. 

As I pull into the car park at the school, I see Will walking across a few metres from me and he raises his hand in a wave as he catches my eye and I think about how used I'm getting to seeing my mark on his wrist, and his on mine. 

"Hey" he says as our paths cross near the doors of the school and we smile at each other. 

"Hey, you okay?" I start as he shakes a plastic cup at me containing my favourite mocha, passing one to me and keeping one for himself. “Thank you”

"No problem.” He pauses as he smiles at me. After a few seconds he shakes his head as he looks down to the floor and continues, “Yeah, didn't sleep the best though, you?"

"Me either actually, I had the weirdest dream" as I'm about to start to tell him about it, the bell rings for the first class of the day and I feel like I've lost time, not a lot, only about ten minutes or so, but like as if somehow, the day is passing by earlier than it should. I was sure we had longer to talk.  

"So today, class, we're gonna have a study session, so if everyone could take their notepads and textbooks out, I want you to all read through your evolutionary perspectives of eating behaviour essays and write notes on your essay. Try and shorten it into key points and then that into bullet points until you'll be able to know your paragraph from a few key words. If you need any help, just ask, otherwise, you can work in small groups" I finish as a few tables scrape across the floor, kids moving closer to their friends as a quiet muttering overtakes the room and I sit in my chair behind the desk. 

My mind falls back to the dream I had last night and I can't help but feel like there's more to it, like it's not just a dream and like I'm missing some of the information. I start to look at my mark and notice that it's full in colour, unlike my dream, but as I stare at it, it starts to itch again and I get a sharp pain in my head as a flood of words enter my brain. They're all fumbling over each other too fast for me to hear most of them, the only ones I make out don't make any sense to me and I hold the side of my head as I scrunch my eyes, opening my mouth in a silent scream and hope the pain will subside quickly.

"Embry?" I hear and just as quickly the pain started, it goes and I look up to find Will, his hands on my forearms, his body twisted as he tells the class to pack up their stuff and that they're dismissed for the day. As the class empties he turns back to me with concern in his eyes, "are you okay? I walked past and you looked like you were in agony. What happened?"

"I, I don't know, my head just started hurting. I couldn't make much of it out"

"Make what out?"

"The words" I answer, "my head was flooded with words, I could only make a little bit out through the jumble: lost, taken, soulmate and you, but it doesn't make any sense, I don't know what happened". He sighed in response as he moved one of his hands behind my head and pulled me into his chest and held me.

We stay like that for what feels like forever, one hand never moving from the back of my head while the other dances up and down my back, trailing small shapes over my green dress. 

After a couple of minutes he pulls back from me and wipes the remaining tears that have fell from my eyes off my face. “I’m gonna go and get you some water okay? Don’t go anywhere”

I nod as he hesitantly stands up and leaves the room, coming back only a minute later with a bottle of water. “I haven’t drank any of it, you need to have a drink okay? It’ll make you feel a bit better”. He says as he crouches down in front of me again, one hand finding its way back to resting on my forearm.

“Thank you” I whisper as I take a big gulp of water and he continues to look at me with worry in his eyes. “I’ll be okay, I just haven’t been sleeping very well” I say through a still croaky voice and he gives me a small smile in response.

“Just, relax for a little bit” he advises as he moves in slightly closer to me, “you’ve got like twenty minutes until the next class, will you be okay?”

“I’m good, honestly” I answer too fast, “you can go, but thank you”.

We share a tentative smile as he stands up and leaves the room, and again, I’m not unaware of his eyes lingering on me as he does so. 

I spend the next twenty minutes trying to breathe through the almost crippling anxiety I keep feeling, devising it’s probably better to just leave the remnants of my coffee rather than adding more caffeine to this situation. I find a small post it note and write down the words I felt drum around in my brain and stare at them, holding for an explanation to drop from the sky when the bell rings again. Too quickly my students pile into the classroom and still not feeling great, I inform them they will be doing the same study exercise as my previous class as I sit back in my chair, tapping my pen against the desk trying to figure out what this could mean. 

Not much longer passes before lunch has come around and before I can even move from behind my desk, Will is at the door waiting for me. 

“I was wondering if maybe you’d want to sit with me at lunch today?” I hear him say.

“We sit together every day?” I question with a squint of my eyes. 

“I guess that’s true” he laughs, “I mean, just me” he says as he slowly moves into the room as I walk around my desk. 

“Are you asking me on a date to the cafeteria William?” I smile as he blushes slightly. 

“No, not a date, I promise” he laughs as he looks back up to me and wipes his hand over his chin. “Just, I’d really like to have a meal with just you again.” 

“I’d love to”. 

Walking down the corridor to the cafeteria, I feel his eyes on me every few seconds and the questions he wants to ask are almost hanging in the air in front of us like a fog. 

“I’m okay” I say as I turn to face him, nodding my head, trying to convince us both. 

“I know” he says too quickly, “I just want you to know that if you’re not, if you need help, me to cover your class, if you need anything, I can feel the anxiety coming off you” his words make me turn my head to look at the floor as I feel him stop next to me and take hold of my wrist, his thumb rubbing absentmindedly against the mark that lives there, “that’s okay too. I’m here”. His final words have me lifting my head to look at him again, a small smile finding its way into my face as he slips his hand down to hold mine and intertwines  our fingers. As I nod my head, he gives my hand a small squeeze before releasing it as we start up our walk to the cafeteria again. 

Sitting down at a table on the far side of the room, we both dig into our meals, mine being chicken pasta and Will’s being bolognese, as we discuss his classes that day. Nothing major happened, like for example, he didn’t freak out all of his students by having an agonising pain in his head and had to have them excused by another staff member, but he did teach one of his classes about an obscure battle that I had never heard of. As the conversation about our classes dwindles down, we both turn to continue our lunches, comfortable in each other’s presence and my anxiety is easing from just being around him. 

“I know you might not want to talk about it but, I meant it, anything you need, ever” he says with a level of sincerity I’m not sure I’ve ever heard before and I know he’s not just talking about today, he really does mean anything and with what time is coming up, I can’t even begin to express how much that means to me. “Chloe mentioned something this morning about this being a tough time of year for you?” He asks innocently and I can’t work out if I’m mad or grateful that my friend started this conversation for me. 

“I don’t really talk about it at work but yeah, um, it’s coming up to the anniversary, of um, my parents death” I almost whisper, being brave enough to continue looking at Will. 

“I’m so sorry” he says quickly, “she didn’t say that- -, you don’t have to-“

“It’s okay, I don’t mind, but like I said I just don’t talk about it at work, sometimes I’m okay but sometimes I cry and I don’t want to cry at work”

“I get it, so do you like baseball?” He changes the subject quickly and I can’t help but laugh. 

The rest of the day goes by without a problem, each class going over the same study exercise based on what topic they’re focusing on currently and I spend my time catching up on grading essays. 

As soon as the final bell rings, I practically run from the school needing to see Clive as soon as possible. As much as sitting with Will at lunch may have eased my anxiety for that time, it came back in floods throughout the second half of the day. 

I walk into Clive's book store, hearing the bell above the door as I open and shut it. I nod in greeting at Clive, still by the counter, where he always seems to be and he nods back.

Knowing that the conversation I want to have with him is probably going to stir up some memories he'd rather forget, I take in a sharp breath as I start to walk over to him and he gives me a quizzical look. He must be wondering why I'm not just walking around the store like I usually do. 

"I need to ask you something, and you might not like it, but it's important, I'll explain as best I can but I wouldn't bring it up if it wasn't really important. Not to you" he gives me a knowing look after taking my words in and gives me a small nod, assuring me that I can ask, but not confirming that he will answer, or even have one in the first place. "Okay, have you ever heard of anyone's mark hurting? Like when they get it? Or even after they've got it? Because the first time I saw Will, it was when he was walking across the road and I was driving and I felt this sharp pain in my wrist; I didn't have my mark then of course and I ignored it, but then later it got itchy and I thought I could see something but I was wrong, although now, I'm not so sure. And then, the first time we touched, after we met, we both got a sharp pain, so bad we had to pull our hands away from each other and then mine was itchy later in the day again, I never asked about his" I'm not sure at what point we moved, but as I continue I realise I'm sitting in my usual spot on the couch at the back of the store, Clive opposite me.

"So then, today all of a sudden, it starts to get really itchy again, but like, painful itchy, like I want to scratch through my skin itchy and then I get this splitting pain in my head and I can't see or hear anything apart from these words going round and round in my head, too many to make out except four. Only four make their way through to me" I tell him the four words I'd told Will about earlier in the day as he leans further towards me, intently listening to everything I'm saying, a look of confusion on his face. "So I think they're connected, I mean, the pain, the itch, and the word soulmate came up, that can't be a coincidence right? So, I mean you know more about it than anyone else I know so have you ever heard of this happening? I mean, is it wrong? Is it trying to fight its way off my body because it's a mistake?" I ask, scared of what the answer could be as he stops me.

"I don't think it's that. The marks are never wrong, ever. He's your soulmate, there's no doubt about that but it hurting?" He turns away from me slightly, looking nowhere in particular as he thinks. "The only times I've ever heard of someone's mark hurting is when someone tried to take it off, they physically tried to tear it from their skin, it didn't work of course, the marks are protected, something in them. And when you spend too long away from your soul mate, mine hurts occasionally when I miss Mary, a few other people who've lost their soul mates or have had to be away from them have said the same thing but it's an ache, not a sharp pain".

He looks back at my disheartened face, disappointed at feeling like I still don't really have any sort of answer. "I see him every day, we talk after work until we go to sleep, he's text me goodnight, every night and neither one of us has tried to get rid of the mark" I trail off, defeated.

"Leave it with me, okay? I'll have a look through my stuff, see if there's anything I can find that might explain it and I'll let you know if I find something but just, try not to worry about it too much, okay kid?" He offers me a small smile as he pats my shoulder and I realise that's the first time since Mary died that I've seen any type of real smile on his face.

"Yeah" I surrender, "thanks Clive, it means a lot, thank you" I add sincerely as I get up to leave the store before quickly turning and adding, "oh I almost forgot, Will asked me to ask you if you could order 1984 for him? You know by George Orwell?" 

"Sure, I'll get on it straight away, I'll make up an invoice when it comes and keep it back for him or if you pick it up, okay?"

"Thanks Clive, for everything" I say as I leave the store and make it to my car.

On the drive home I decide it's been too long since I've walked near the beach and if there was ever a time I needed to be calmed by the ocean, it's probably now when my mind can't seem to stop spinning. I pull up on my driveway, get out of my car, and walk back towards the beach, deciding I'll spend a couple of hours there and maybe watch the sunset before I walk back home. 

Sitting on the beach, this is the calmest I’ve felt since I was laying in Will’s arms. Making that realisation only panics me more, I mean, I’ve only known him a few weeks. How is it that someone I’m still aware I barely know has had such a profound effect on me? I feel like there’s an internal battle inside of me of running away from this and what it means because I can’t help but feel like I’ll be hurt, and another side of me that wants nothing more than to jump in, head first because I know he will never hurt me and I don’t think I’ve ever been so confused in my life. 

Trying to shake all thoughts of Will and the dreams and the mark and my feelings about any of it out of my head, I focus on the sounds of the waves crashing in front of me and the feel of the sand against my bare feet, my shoes being placed carefully in front of me. As I dig my feet further into the sand, I wrap my arms around my knees, bending them up to sit in front of my face and I enjoy the beauty the beach offers. 

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Taglist: @yourideasarepointless​ @stiles-o-dylan24​ @moongoddesskiana​ @wydobrien​ @ashleyjeanthomas​ 

Date posted: 04.08.2020

[firelinphd]

joker x neutral!reader | my own hero

joker x reader

gender neutral

The Joker becomes obsessed with (Y/N), kidnapping them and keeping them a secret.

warning : kidnapping, there isn't consent, yandere joker

sorry but in that story you have to date arthur for the plot okay

You woke up with a horrible headache. The last thing you could remember was you and Arthur fighting an enemy, and then there was nothing else. ''Well, you did wake up ! Good morning ?'' That voice. It was Joker. That's when you noticed you were tied up. You did try to use your fire to burn the ropes, but apparently it wasn't doing anything.

''Those resist your fire, my love.'' He calmly said, seeing you struggling. ''Fuck off ! Don't call me that !'' He rolled his eyes. ''Yeah, yeah, only that boyfriend of yours can call you that. But he won't be a problem anymore !'' He said, smiling. That's when you started to panic. ''Why ? Where is he ? What have you done to him ?!'' It obviously bothered the Joker that you weren't focusing on him.

''You can't focus on me with him on your mind, hm ? Bullshit.'' He groaned. ''What can I do so you focus on me ?!'' He kicked a bag that was on the ground -you couldn't tell what was in it.

''Tell me what you've done to him.'' You said, bravely. It strangely made him laugh. ''I didn't kill him, obviously. He's just quite hurt and I suppose your company found him and brought him to the hospital or something. You're the only one they won't be able to find.'' He giggled at that last sentence. ''I thought you never wanted to fight ? You never kidnapped Shinra !'' Joker stared at you for a whole minute, before speaking up again.

''Because I don't want Shinra to be with me. Anyone can have Shinra, but I wanna keep you to myself ! You're my own hero !'' You scoffed. ''I'm not a fucking pet ! Let me go !'' That said, he grabbed your chin, forcefully making you look into his eyes -which were much too close to yours. ''I wanted to keep you as my lover, but as a pet... that would make me your master, right ?!'' He laughed hysterically.

You started to panic once again -you should've never said that, maybe he had that kind of weird kink, and that would be horrible. ''Joker, fucking let me go !'' He slapped you. ''It's Master, now ! You've chosen that yourself, remember ?'' He articulated, gripping your chin once again. ''You had never called Arthur that word, right ?'' You didn't reply.

He let go of your chin, looking at some papers that were on a desk. ''Do you want to go to the toilets ?'' You shook your head. ''I know you're that kind of creep who's going to watch, so I'm going to say no.'' He snorted, still focusing on his papers. ''What are you doing ?'' You asked, feeling that it was about you. ''Oh, now you're focusing on me !'' He smiled. ''Who knew that you really had to ignore someone to make them like you ?''

You rolled your eyes, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of making you mad or whatever. ''I'm actually looking at some files about your power. Your flame is the Adora Burst. Only 3 kids got this flame, and 2 of them ended up in the 8th Company, what a coincidence. I prefer you, though. You throw fire from your hands and wrists, unlike that boy who sticks his feet everywhere. And you're much more interesting and beautiful.''

You gulped ; did he really want to keep you forever ? What did he want to your Adora Burst ? Was it really all about it ? ''I first got interested in you when we discovered about your flame. We discovered yours way after we discovered Shinra's, but you were my favorite one. I mean, look at you ! I don't know why only Arthur fell for you. I don't know why you fell for him neither, but it's not a problem anymore.''

The thought of Arthur being beaten up gave you goosebumps. You couldn't remember what had happened to him, but you were sure that Joker was telling you the truth ; he was hurt at the hospital. ''Don't think your company is going to save you. They don't know this place, nor even do my colleagues. You're mine and only mine, nobody will never know that you're here ! And you're going to love me forever, and we're going to be like those pretty little couples we watch in movies.''

You managed not to cry, but you really wanted it. ''Speaking about movies, do you want to watch one with me ? I know what kind of movies you were watching with that dumb blond, so I guess you'll like this one.'' You gulped, and this time, you couldn't help but cry. Only the mention of Arthur and the fact that you’d maybe never be able to see him again succeeded in making you cry.

         At the scene, Joker seemed to soften up. ''Oh no ! No, no, no ! Don't cry my love, I'm so sorry ! We're going to watch the movie, okay ? Are you cold ? Do you want a blanket ?'' He asked, untying you and cupping your cheeks. ''Just remember that if you try to escape, I'll use my powder on you.'' You nodded quickly, and he smiled at you, rubbing your cheeks.

             After you went to the toilet -since there was no window, he agreed to let you close the door- you sat on a couch that was put in front of a TV. Joker sat just next to you, enjoying it. ''You smell very good, despise the fact that you fought and stuff. Are you thirsty though ? I didn't ask you ! What a horrible host I am ! are you hungry too ?!'' He stood up, not even waiting for an answer, and ran to the kitchen. Well, you believed it was considered so, since you weren't sure that place really was an apartment -there wasn't any window anywhere.

           When he came back, you thought that he had poisoned the food or the drink, but you were too hungry and thirsty to even care. You ate quickly, and drank your cup in one go. ''Do you like it, my dear (Y/N) ?'' He asked. And his menacing aura made you answer, without asking yourself any question : ''Yes, Master.''

[mysynthfetish]

Um, Yeah.

Well it's damn near March already. What the hell? Where does the time go?

The whole world is in a huff about COVID-19, and here in Japan too, obviously, but people are in full-on freakout mode. First thing they did was go on a panic-buying-spree of masks, like surgical masks, you know, the ones everyone here wears when it's either flu or hay fever season. So, there's a shortage of masks now. "ONE BOX PER CUSTOMER!!" signs at the shops with any remaining stock. For me, the funniest thing is that masks do not prevent the wearer from catching a virus. The seal around the face is not perfect, so guess what, shit don't work. Unless you strap on a military grade chemical warfare motherfucker of a mask, like with the filter cans and shit? Nope. I mean, even the homepage of the WHO where you can find a coronavirus FAQ says so ("BUT THE WHO IS CONTROLLED BY THE UN AND THEY'RE SECRETLY OUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD SO YOU CAN'T TRUST THAT!!!!" yeah yeah yeah. Shame. On. You). But nahhhh who cares about actually using your head and thinking about how viruses spread. See, the masks work (sorta) when worn by people already infected, as they trap most of the fun stuff ejected by a sneeze or a cough. Not all of it. We can still hope for some fun to be shared among the general populace can we not? Ahhh but it's easier to be a total idiot and follow the herd mentality and panic-buy useless shit. Then there was the fiasco with the cruise ship and not letting passengers disembark, and then it turns out a number were let off without having to go through screening, but the Chinese are still being confined to quarters blah blah blah. Jeeezus Fucking Christ EVERYTHING is made in China anyway, from rubber dog shit to the (probably) fake ICs in your military hardware to your beloved smartphones and related devices, shit, even the incessant machine-diarrhea geyser of clone synths too, so what the hell is the big deal about a potentially pandemic-level megavirus every few years? Chinavirus. Next in the ongoing series. Personally, I don't really care where the viruses originate, and to tell the truth, I get a warm feeling inside when people lose their shit over stuff like this, and even warmer when the death toll rises and rises. Can't think of a better species to get a good culling than the old homo sapiens. Heh. Mister Misanthrope at your service! But anyway.....

Found this ancient beast sitting forgotten and forlorn in a closet at work. It's a Luxman 38FD "High Fidelity Stereo Integrated Amplifier" made around 1970 (like me!). It is in near fucking mint condition. HEAVY. AS. FUCK. And the winningest part of the whole thing besides it being destined for the Big Garbage pile and as a result free for the taking? IT WORKS. Oh, and even better...

IT'S A VACUUM TUBE AMP!!! Those are the main tubes, 50CA10, pretty much but not totally unobtanium. Yeah, they fucking glow a warm orangey red, and after a bit you can see blue vapor inside. Well, if you turn off all the lights and take the top cover off. It runs hot as fuck too. I was just shocked the thing worked. It's sitting comfortably atop the desk in the lair, where you'd normally park a printer, with a pair of Yamaha NS-100X speakers on risers above it. Sounds great. There's considerably more noise (hiss?) than a modern amp, but with the volume knob raised to about 10 o'clock, it's already loud enough that the hiss isn't even a consideration anymore, and any louder would be asking for trouble with the neighbors. I can't believe it because the amp is supposed to be a mere 30 watts per channel. I guess 30 watts from vacuum tubes is a hell of a lot different from even triple that from a modern amp. LOUD!!! So yay me.

Oh and speaking of viruses....

I was watching this one on the auction for about a month and a half. The opening bid started out at around $1700 but nobody bid, and the auction ended, and one option here on the yahoo auction is for an automatic re-listing with the opening bid discounted by a certain percent. I watched for a while, then just when I'd forgotten about it, it came up in the look-at-me feed and the price was down to a grand so I bid on it and won. I had one of these before and regretted selling it, thus the TI Polar in my arsenal now, but the 61-key TI has THE BEST keys ever. Feels so good to play. Fatar! I thought yeah ok I'll just say see ya to the Polar and call it even. But... Hmm... Wait... One thing led to another and in the end I decided to keep both the viruses and... and...... and...... sell the ION. Say WHAT?!?! After all the work and repairs and maintenance and customizing LEDs and and and and.... Yeah. It's a hell of a synth, no doubt about it, but I think anything with the Alesis logo on it has a very definite shelf-life. The pots are gonna go, a few are acting up already, and those are unobtanium unless you wanna shell out the dosh and buy from syntaur. You can't get NOS pots either. So... After some serious deep-thinking and careful consideration and deliberation I had to say to myself, "self, it's a wonderful machine capable of some great sounds, but it's only 8-voice polyphonic, there are barely any effects to mention, ok sure the mod matrix and plethora of filter models and waveshaping are fantastic, but you know how ridiculously MORE powerful the Virus TI is almost every respect!" And I admitted defeat. To myself. Weird, I know. But there you go. I don't think I know anyone with two Virus TI (or TI2) synths in their collection. Maybe Anthony Rother. I know he has two IONs. 

Ahhhh but this 61-key virus wasn't without problems. Uh, well, OK one BIG problem. The power supply shat itself when I turned it on for the first time. The LCD sorta flashed, there was a brief sign of life with some of the LEDs, but then blip! Nothing. Aaaaargh! Unseat the power cable, reseat it, try again. Nothing, just a high-pitched whine that was getting louder. I put my head up against the front panel, listening for where the whine was coming from, and figured out it was the far right side. That's where the PSU is. Then suddenly the sound changed to a higher pitch that swept downwards over the course of a few seconds, all the while sputtering like it had a downward sawtooth filter on it, then POP! No more sound. When I opened the case up, I immediately remembered that for whatever reason, Access decided to go with a PSU like you'd use with a laptop computer, the big brick-like deals, and that they'd carefully bracketed the brick in so that the eyeglass-socket for the plug lined up with the hole in the rear panel. OK so all I needed to do was find a same-rating PSU and then go about modding the bracket so cosmetically it would look from-the-factory. Incidentally, I contacted Access and asked about parts, but the rep said they don't have any more PSUs for the TI series, only ones for the TI2 series, and that they aren't the same size so when they do the repair, they put a DC jack on the rear panel and the PSU gets left out—goes from internal to external if you catch my drift. Well, no thank you, I do not care for that approach, no sir, I didn't wanna go that route at all. So, thanks to having access to a drill press and diamond-saw dremel tools at work, I made the necessary mods to the bracket, padded it a bit so it would securely hold the new PSU in place, and in the end you can't tell it isn't a factory PSU (from the outside). Yay me, part two.

This is the bracket, post choppy-grindy. Yeah so I "secured" the cabling with Scotch 33+... Hey, from the factory it was held down with hot glue!

Yeah that's where it attached to the PCB. CHEEKY!!!!!!!

Not bad, right? You'd never know. But I've told you, so now you know. Oh and the PSU was $22 from a local parts chain (Marutsu). I think Access wants about $50 but I think that includes free shipping anywhere in the world. I'm just glad it's working fine now.

Other goings on... I've sold the Timeline and Space pedals, and used part of the proceeds to pick up a Sony DPS-D7 delay and a DPS-R7 reverb to use in their place. But the D7 had a wonky input knob that actually broke off in my fucking hand the second time I went to use it. That pot is super unobtanium, so I thought I'd just epoxy the broke-off-bit and not worry about separately controlling the input levels for the L and R channels (does anyone even DO that?)... Here's the pot.

Even after it was epoxied back together, it was fucking bent as fuck. Red line shows the angle, blue arrow shows where the epoxy ghetto fix went down. I saw another D7 listed as-is for $10 and nobody bid so I won it, and I had intended to just cannibalize the pot, but it turns out that it has a newer OS and it works fucking fine, so that was kind of a head-scratcher. People are weird. This delay is stupid deep. There's a multi-tap algorithm that has like 40 separately programmable taps, each with its own level, pan, feedback, and all that. The reverb (R7) is just as insane with parameters... Dudes, and dudettes, seriously, you need some deep-sea rated scuba gear to really get to grips with these Sony DPS motherfuckers. DEEEEEEEEEEEP AS FUCK. I've owned these before too. Had the F7 Filter too. That thing had a 40-band vocoder and a multi-part digital drum synth in it!? Man I think the engineers at Sony had access to some GOOD drugs back when they were working on this line of effects processors. Seriously. I mean, I love programming, but even I was intimidated by the sheer amount of programmability in these things. The ones I had before were a bit noisy, but these aren't at all. Strange. Fun shit though. Oh and there's this:

Ah fuck, looks a bit out of focus. That right there is a TOA DE-1000 delay. Rare as shit, and this one is in NEW condition. Insane! I've had this one on my radar for a while. Why? Because it's fucking WEIRD!!!! So the max delay time is 255ms or something really not that long at all, but you've got three to control: Left, Center and Right. Individual times (LEDs) and levels (white sliders), plus global wet/dry and feedback, AND modulation time and depth sliders. SLIDERS!!?? Ok it only has four memory slots, and no MIDI, but you can get up to some good mischief with this thing. Last two goodies to blab about:

Top: SONICWARE ELZ_1. What a weirdo synth. I heard that it's a raspberry pi under the hood but really? Who cares. It can do some off the wall shit. A handful of wacky synth engines, topped off by four effects processors at the end. And it has a speaker. My only complaint is no DIN MIDI, just USB and you have to buy a class compliant dealie. I suppose I should do so before I forget. Sounds pretty damn good though, and it does things that I've not heard other synths do. Built well. Fun to play and fun to program. Runs on batteries. Worth looking into. I was so impressed with this that I backed their next project (a groove box type thing it seems). Bottom: KORG AM8000R. This fucker does some WEIRD SHIT! I had one before (and its delay counterpart, the DL8000R) and for whatever reason didn't hold on to them. I think I was looking for more bread and butter, set it and forget it type effects. This was really cheap and it's in great shape. I don't think so many people know about these. Relatively easy to program, and you can get some really good, usable stuff as well as some super far out WTF stuff. The WARP! knob is good fun too.

Oh I suppose it's worth mentioning that I had an album released by Anti Gravity Device out of Tokyo a few weeks ago. Let's see if I can find a link...

https://anti-gravity-device.bandcamp.com/album/black-rainbows-agd036

Have a listen. It's stuff I recorded from about November through December last year, maybe even the first week of January this year. Live jam format, no master sequencer, wish I was an octopus because two arms and ten fingers just wasn't enough type stuff. All hardware. Fun!

So, my invisible tumblrpeeps, it's been a busy 2020 so far here. More things in the works. Keep your eyes peeled. Stay well. Watch out for number one, and don't step in number two. (thanks, Carlin!)