#so it's part nostalgia talking
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#dont think they will learn anything#i know its pessimistic but like#as if the critics were in any way as loud or popular as those worshipping it#i feel so bad for having contributed twice to its sales and earnings#i bought it normally (later sold that to a coworker) and the collectors#which i sold but i only got back the money a normal new one would have cost#and it was also only bc i was buying sth else and it was literally in prime condition#like he said it wouldnt matter bc he cant give me more but then even he said holy shit thats literlly like unopened lol#i mean ... most of it was never opnened xD just took the game out once and put it back once thats it#i feel extra scammed bc it was the first and only collectors edition i ever owned#and i dont think i will ever buy one again#and might regret that#i still wish i had known how much i liked botw to get its special one ... but i didnt have the money back then either way#but id rather miss out on that than spend so much money on sth i will forever regret having spend money on#and i worry for the future bc the “story is the least important part” guy and “lol you can only like the old games bc nostalgia” guy-#-being in charge of the franchise arent giving me much hope for anything better#especially after totks success
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This has to be the last thing I say on C3 finale because otherwise, I will not stop, it simply baffles me in its mediocrity. And obviously, this will be negative, if you loved it, good for you, this is my takeaway as someone who loved this campaign and was severely let down.
This finale changes everything that came before and not for good, better yet, it emphasizes all the faults in the structure of what c3 tried to be, it made most of the campaign feel like a true exercise in futility — How far can we go in a campaign that is meandering and unsatisfying? How long can we have the same discussion over and over and over again despite everyone knowing how this will end? How long can we drag out characters that don't change without anyone noticing? (spoiler everyone noticed)
Can't say I was emotionally invested in the finale because I tapped out back in the 70s, came back for Aeor/Downfall shenanigans, and left again. But in experiencing the finale something became clear to me:
THIS STORY NEEDED TO BE SHORTER.
WITH ANOTHER PARTY AT THE HELM.
If the objective from the very conception of C3 was to wipe out the gods, that had to be clear from the very start. And it wasn't clear, at all — not in the characters, not in the starting city, not in theme. This was a completely different campaign at the start! That clarity was what made Calamity so great, it was short and precise, and every pc SERVICED THE THEME, filled with hubris and contempt, not to mention the setting.
Even Ludinus went in circles for convenience of the campaign length and became a weaker opponent for it, more of a nuisance than a villain. The threat he posed at episode 50 was much stronger than now at 120 something. The battle against Otohan was more nail-biting and emotionally engaging than fighting Ludinus and Predathos, a god eater!!!!
This campaign would've benefited from three to four acts instead of one overarching objective like the past campaigns because urgency is the name of the game and we can't carry urgency for 70 episodes straight (and they didn't).
The constant inclusion of the other parties made it clear how easy it was to detach BH from the story, how easy and fun it was for them to tell it through another party's eyes (one of the main reasons why I walked away back when I did, but that's more of a personal preference).
Which is not to say Bells Hell's didn't deserve a long story! They could very well have existed in a more intimate campaign which these characters were clearly built for! Their premises begged for closer looks in slow moments, something tragicomical, exploration of the inner world while developing MARQUET and its microcosm of injustice and politics which was left in the dust mid-campaign (pun intended).
And I'm not suggesting this just for our enjoyment, I know it's them playing and their enjoyment comes first blah blah, though this is a multi-million company therefore their jobs but this would contribute to their enjoyment! You could see several moments in the campaign how tapped out they felt and acted. I doubt it was "fun" discussing the gods situation ad naseaum, trudging through landscapes they barely cared about, with empty arcs.
I could nitpick every fault I see in the finale but it would be pointless, these issues have been dragged from ages ago and poor character matching, and now this is a culmination of everything and it barely fazes me anymore.
(And yeah it's their game and it's "free", but that doesn't undermine its weight as a story, stories were made be analyzed, and it was a poorly structured one no matter how much I still like and admire them as people.)
WHICH is not to say I had no fun at all ever, I did! several times! and that's what makes me upset, it could've been great instead is just meh.
#one good thing about the finale was when aabria walked in. saddest part when she walked out#critical role#cr spoilers#cr discourse#bells hells#long post#Remember the Stratos Throne set up? well. i don't think anybody at the table does#that's how Marquet was treated#so much for all that worldbuilding we heard so much about at the start with other writers and creators. all for us to underuse it yay#hoping for the setting book which I would be tempted to buy bc that's how much I wanted that continent to be explored#if anyone mentions ashton as an example of character that changed I'll tell you one thing#he changed bc Taliesin DARED to do something interesting and got SO MUCH SHIT FOR IT#know what made the shard moment interesting BECAUSE IT HAD CONSEQUENCES he almost died#sorry but it wasn't the power of friendship that changed him so much so he walks into the sunshine ALONE this finale#like if so many people are complaining and comparing you would assume there was something they did right before#and i'm not talking from a place of nostalgia nor from a place of preferring VM nor M9. I liked BH better! And I was let down#I'll go on pretending everything after the party reunion was a fever dream and they met Braius in an icy tavern in the border of Aeor#cheers to sam riegel for managing a satisfying arc in less than 20 episodes better than everyone else in 120. sorry not sorry#also for not once but twice daring to make his characters fit the narrative at hand#long tags
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Origins is of course the DA game most closely in conversation with and playing around with Tolkien (right down to the walking talking poetree haha) -- and even more so than most works in the larger western fantasy tradition derived from Tolkien's work that DA:O also hails from and owes a lot of its Stuff to, what makes the game so great to me is that it's doing so very deliberately, and is subverting and deconstructing those tropes and entrenched ideas in some very interesting ways without at all denigrating what it's commenting on. (it doesn't have the almost disdainful undertones of the vein of fantasy that seeks to make the world more 'realistic' ala the more tedious reactions to G.R.R.Martin's work, for example, despite having the darker fantasy bent to it.) among other elements it adopts, what I find the most fascinating is the choice to use the same literary device/conceit Tolkien did in ostensibly only having in-universe biased sources and works to deliver the world through (which I feel is an underappreciated thing about his approach but is part of what makes his world so enduringly compelling and real-feeling -- the feeling of real scholarship devoted/applied to a made-up world. the grounding effect of a good diegetic footnote about source criticism, truly).
many things to be said there, and I'm glad each following game has taken on different perspectives and lenses and traditions to view the world of Thedas through because if you stick with that one too closely for too long I fear we could teeter precariously close to Pratchett's famous and bitingly accurate accusation of most modern fantasy of that era just being about rearranging the furniture in Tolkien's attic lol. and while you could accuse DA2 (my perfect wife who has never done anything wrong in her life to be clear) of many things, that's not one of them, they are pulling on some completely different strings for that one and both the game and DA overall is better for it, to my mind. as so many things in this series: worth staying with and exploring for an installment even if it might get stale if all of it was like this! people are understandably sad about the elements from previous games that they liked which were lost along the way, but that capacity for reinvention is to my mind a huge strength of dragon age as a whole.
(I think Veilguard is coming in as a close second in Tolkien conversation-ness if only in outlining/revealing the worldbuilding that indeed may have been planned since DA:O around the animosity that SHOULD by all rights exist between dwarves and elves in this universe (as per Tolkienesque tradition standards). but doesn't really because you see: politics and the many pitfalls of conservation of knowledge over the ages. our ancestral enmity got semi-intentionally lost between the floorboards of history and you know what. maybe for the best. the humans are already up to so much shit you gotta keep your eyes on them at all times you can't be brawling with each other in the deep roads while they're still around getting up to their nonsense or they'll just pile up even more of it)
#dragon age#dragon age origins#been thinking about the unreliable narration/in-universe texts only element being the thing da:o took from tolkien that's most defining#for a LONG time and I want to write something smart about it sometime but alas. this is what I've got right now haha#I think *some* da:o nostalgia is about that familiar safe childhood feeling of Fantasy World in a pattern that was so deeply entrenched#for many many MANY years. it's been in the groundwater of the genre for so long it's only fairly recently the patterns were broken#on like a mainstream sort of scale. I know I'm getting older b/c I keep going 'how do I explain to some of these people#that the world (both the real one the fictional one and the gaming one) was a very different place back in 2009' lol#and I agree there's something so tremendously comforting about it even with all the grimdark elements more in the martin vein#that's also in da:o. the same way you get satisfaction out of the structural familiarity of fairy tale logic but for a whole genre#da:o follows the Rules of a fantasy world in post-tolkien tradition -- even when it's subverting them it's doing so in reference#to a set of tropes and ideas both you and the game are deeply familiar and comfortable with#(da:o IS also just a really fucking good game I'm NOT saying people's love for it comes from being blinded by nostalgia haha#just an observation of a thing I've recognized in myself as well. there are elves there are dwarves there are talking trees and dragons#and basically orcs. all is as it should be and everything makes sense <- the part of me that grew up on lotr and derived works lol)#and while the other games also have all these elements they don't USE them in the same way and it doesn't feel the same. it's so interestin#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#only in the vaguest way but still#you know what veilguard occasionally feels more like actually. sci-fi! and it's not an accusation or a bad thing for me I think it's great#da:i veers more to high fantasy and da2 feels weirdly low-fantasy -- it's a story where magic also happens to exist but I almost forget lol#it's a magical world and magic is integral to the plot but thematically it's so much about real-feeling political conflict#da:o is a Quest in da2 you're new in town (and it gets worse)
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It's not uncommon at all to miss your abuse, to miss disordered behaviours, or miss when you were at your worst.
It's understandable why you might feel like you have no clue what to do - recovery is an uncertainty. It is unfamiliar, it is scary. It's okay to long for the stability of those dark parts of your story. You aren't a bad person, you aren't ungrateful, nor are those feelings proof that you cannot recover.
You still deserve to recover, however that looks for you. You don't need to run from yourself, you are not a net negative.
#recovery#mental health#mental health advocacy#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#having nostalgia for abuse/poor mental health is something people don't mention a lot#people expect you to run away from those feelings and embrace the holy light of recovery and joy#but that's unrealistic#i have so many nostalgic feelings for those points in my abuse and that's *common*#i remember watching somebody on youtube talk about them missing the 'bad old days' of their disordered eating#and it's like... that is how it feels. the bad old days are sometimes so overwhelmingly tempting#and we cannot shut that part away and pretend it doesn't (or rather can't) exist
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jfc i need people to remember that american girl characters are nine year olds
#this could be about a lot of things but it’s mainly about the attitudes towards choices they make in their stories#they are CHILDREN#i know they age a year-seven over the course of all their books#but they are still CHILDREN and they are LEARNING HOW TO HUMAN#which is also to say that the nostalgia goggles on the impacts they made are also so annoying#like sam is my girl and there’s a part of the fandom she gets an undeserved bad rap in#but she isn’t some incredible labor activist she is a CHILD who cares about a friend#which is also not to say that we can’t have high hopes for her future but that’s still not who she is in canon!!!#thank you for coming to my ted talk#from my slate#ag#agblr#american girl#american girl doll
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nothing more than a personal opinion but english dub for anime series? make me cringe so damn much.
#i think it's because the 'acting' sounds so ...#contrived? i think could be the word for it.#forced? so unnatural? which could be a given#considering japanese and english are worlds apart#as languages before everything else#but yeah.#to me for the most part they sound like they're#reciting poems if that makes sense.#i mean there are some italian dub that actually#sound good? most probably because i grew up#with them and that's the nostalgia talking.#that could be it really now that i think about it.#but detective conan? okay il doppiaggio di#conan per italia uno all'epoca? ci stava tutto.#quello su super poi era comico con tutte le censure#però dettagli.#sto ripensando al doppiaggio italiano di haikyuu-#. . . . . qualche personaggi s'è salvato. tipo kuro#o kenma. quelli che contano. kuro sembra#che c'ha trent'anni ma quello è in linea col personaggio.#peccato che non è di vent'anni fa-#'na siglia italiana per haikyuu avrei#voluto sentirla. chissà che minchiate#s'inventavano. pensa a 'mila e shiro'.#comunque.
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Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh
I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that
#call of duty#modern warfare 3 2011#i just. wow. wow wow wow wow wow#i've played these three games so many times over the last several years and i just.#they literally. never get old.#loose ends and blood brothers will never not make me cry and endgame and dust to dust will never not make me smile so hard#ending it with price smoking the cigar like he did in the first mission in the first game wHEN HE FIRST MET SOAP JUST UGHHHHHH.#i know y'all don't care but i don't care that y'all don't care i could literally yap about this until i shrivel up and die#i have never ever ever in my LIFE seen poetic justice played out so beautifully like it is at the very end#JUST. WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. WOW WOW. WOW#they do not frickin make games like that anymore DADGUM#i also forgot how frickin sad down the rabbit hole is?? like jeez louise they didn't have much screen time but gosh#i also have never in my life heard such gut-wrenching anguish from a grown man in my life like price in that one scene#I KNOW Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN MAKES ME FULL ON S O B IN THAT PART HE HAD NO BUSINESS#anyway i'll keep cutely living in denial and pretending literally any of the main characters besides price and nikolai are fine <3#foley and dunn and their team seemed just fine at the end of modern warfare 2 so i will accept that small mercy#at this point these games have taken everything else i love away from me so#y'all probably think i'm wild for how insane i get over these games but the nostalgia bit is a big part of it as well#like they're honestly in my opinion genuinely the greatest video games of all time#but the fact that i have that connection with my dad makes it so special#crazy cause he said he also cried in blood brothers and my dad is 54 and i have seen him cry one (1) other time in my entire life#heck infinity ward but also bless them i hope the devs live long beautiful wonderful prosperous delightful exciting fulfilling lives#Lord bless them and their entire bloodline for the contributions they have made to humanity not even joking#AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT GO THERE OAUSYDJAKAKDN#MW2 AND MW3 CREDITS. EXTRACTION POINT. COUP DE GRACE. RETREAT AND REVEILLE. CONTINGENCY. PARIS SIEGE. PRAGUE HOSTILITIES. RUSSIAN WARFARE.#UGHHHHHHHGHHHH everything about these games is so unbelievably perfect and immaculate#i have got to get over my art block NOWWWWWWWWWW#makarov is also the best villain i've ever seen idc bro he's frickin awesome#i mean obviously he's horrible and a disgustingly evil human being but as a character he's stupidly well-written
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Why doesn't childhood come back? Grow-up life is bad and boring
I don't want to grow up anymore
I want everything to go back to how it was before, I don't like the new
Change is boring, growing up is boring
I hate changes
#kidcore#nostalgia#nostalgiacore#childhood#childhood nostalgia#brazilian childhood#Just a little part of my childhood<3#i miss it so bad#I really cried while putting all of those images together lol#Just wanna be a child again :'<#I wanna be little again!!#Childhood is a sensitive topic to me honestly...#But I love to talk about it though#I just can end up crying while talking :'>#The agere community honestly helped me with this. Helped me find a bit of confort and helped me to understand myself a bit more♡#But sometimes I still feel like I'm an intruder in this community and I start to feel bad for trying to push myself into another place#That's why I don't use the agere tags in this kind of posts. I just feel like I shouldn't use them#Is that a vent post?#I guess so-#Please someone buy me a paci urgently#This shit wish is hauting me I'm serious
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just rewatched the first pirates of the caribbean and oh my goddd i love these movies so much
#can’t wait to watch the next 3 soon asap (fifth one doesnt exist 2 me)#the music especially… ugh just scratches a part of my brain that brings me so much joy#it’s the nostalgia#phoenix talks
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Man I love the 2000s style of animation so much more than the current trend of supper rounded stuff
give me the sharp edges of clone high, invader zim or even TD island over rounder thin lines any day
#Part of the reason I like kid cosmic so much ngl#not even nostalgia talking I wasn’t even conscious when half the shows were airing#animation#es ramblo#i hold this opinion until like a week later when my opinions have changed
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3 part rain world infodump anon here. what can i say, the brainrot consumes....... i think you mentioned not being much of a gamer but theres lots of good playthroughs on youtube if youre interested! i would recommend one without commentary (especially near the ending) but anything works tbh. IM JUST im so not normal about the setting. youre a little scugclat youre just a little guy slonking around in these ruins that you have no idea the significance of. through bits and pieces you scavenge around the world for you can piece together this absolute tragedy that's on a scale you can barely comprehend from your viewpoint as an Animals, even some shit thats confusing from your viewpoint as a Humans and a Gamers. and the way the world progresses through the chronological campaigns... watching even the gods above the clouds slowly return to the surface, because even a god cant outrun time. and if you go in blind you can more or less COMPLETELY MISS ALL OF THIS. BECAUSE YOURE JUSF A LITTLE GUY. SLUGCAT. SCUG. whats a computer bitch im just trying to eat this fruit so i can go nap hard as hell! wtf!!
I cant actually watch playthroughs without commentary bc i need to be doing something or listening to someone while doing something at all costs or i will evaporate so ill try to find youtube playthroughs
#not a poll#mars talks#i consumed all my undertale content from playthroughs im so sorry#once every few years i binge watch all the parts of the jacksepticeye undertale parts for nostalgia#despite me never leaving or growing out of undertale 🤭
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~ ~ ~
#I thought we’d be able to talk more today but seems that was a misplaced dream#pretty much all I’ve done today is wait for you to message me#I get so restless and it feels like my whole body is jittery and uncomfortable because the only thing I want to do is spend time with you#and still I won’t get that and now I just have no interest in anything at all#I hate to say it but you trying to be better is starting to kill me because I’ve lost a part of you I loved#nostalgia is the real silent killer in my experience#I still need you so much and I don’t know why I can’t get this to end#personal
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I wrote in a comment that “i loathe RHATO but i like the idea of Kory, Roy & Jason teaming up” and it just summarize most of my DC experience
I hate or don’t like a story (or sometimes its just one element in a story) but i adore the idea, or see the potential it could’ve been so i search for artists/writers that think alike, stumble on new ideas, create my own little universe to the point where i genuinely forget what’s considered canon and what is not.
As a fandom, DC is the most “canon is a suggestion” that i have ever been in and im loving it.
#i mean i still rage about some choices but then i go what about this fanfic and forget about what i was ragging about#but like i genuinely wouldnt be to enjoy dc so much if it wasn’t for the fandom#i think there was literally two comic runs that i enjoyed from start to finish and that are on my to reread list#and most of the old animations but that could also be the nostalgia talking#i dunno maybe im also too old and have been in too many fandoms to stick on the rage part#i stick to what i like and literally forget the rest#ramblings
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sometimes I think I'm over my football thing that I had between roughly 2014-2019, but then out of nowhere during the start of the season/during the winter months I get a random burst of interest back?
#there was my keeping up with bundesliga and liverpool thing of 2020 but I never count the pandemic stuff lol#the real moment I felt this “passion” come back was when I went to watch champions league games with a friend at café#we watched Benfica's (her team) and Porto's (my team) games and it was super fun to have someone other than my grandpa to talk sports with#also the whole braga thing that happened with another of my friends#around that time I started getting REAL into Schalke and Liverpool again#then I went to see braga in the stadium and that got me going for a bit#but regardless of these random bursts of keeping up with first league teams#I still keep up with my local team (second division baby!!) and fc porto w#but like#I was so invested in porto's game yesterday for some reason?#i dunno maybe it was the nostalgia of being on the car listening to it on the radio#but on the other hand I still harbor HEAVY hate for some teams that I didn't like at the time#worst part is it lasts a few weeks and then goes away#during national team games/competitions I feel legit nothing and that's when people get their football spirit here in the country#dunno my whole relationship with this sport is wild to me#alex.exe
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Man. I wish it was easier to be understood.
#for all of us.#when we want to be.#forget the mortifying ordeal of being known#I'm tired of the depressing commonality of being missunderstood and feeling unseen#there's so many wonderful things to learn about eachother#if we're just willing to talk about it more#a lot of our ways of thinking alone are amazingly unique#some of us think in images#some in words alone#some lack internal dialouge at all#for some of us it is more than one thought at once and constant#some of us are so acutely aware of every sense that the most mundane of tasks would be torture to others if they experienced it through us#others barely register most things unless its done heavy-handedly and with intent#I want to know and be known more#I want to learn#I want to be understood#I don't think I understand why anyone would just cut and run and burn bridges unless they absolutely had to#but I would like to#I hope one day someone will tell me#If I'm lucky maybe someday it'll be you#maybe someday#or not#let's see what tomorrow holds#Strange sense of nostalgia and sadness and happiness and hope and loss tonight#part of me is think of my#old friend#but it doesn't hurt tonight#no#not tonight#the yearning is hopeful of unlikely things
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