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redrook · 2 months ago

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I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

#redrook lore #this was also in a bougie area #and customers were generally so awful #other employees would fight to have cage time when I needed breaks #being handcuffed in a cage #is still better than customer service

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queensexyclip · 2 months ago

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swan2swan · 10 months ago

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Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

#the ship overall is C to A tier #but it's things like THIS that push it up toward the A #titan ae #titan a.e.#cale #akima #it just...#starts with them chilling together being comfortable in each other's space #that would be enough that's a point there #then she goes and HANDS HIM THE SANDWICH SHE'S EATING #sharing their food #that's another one #and she does it because his hands are busy so he can't feed himself #so that's a third point #and she does it WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIM which is a FOURTH point #and he bites into it without request or invitation so that's a FIFTH point #and then he TAKES THE WHOLE SANDWICH AND GULPS IT DOWN LIKE A LIZARD #which is a SIXTH point #and jumps it up to SEVEN because she pulls her fingers free and finally looks at him and yells at him #IT'S A SEVEN-POINT ROMANCE COMBO #do you know how utterly rare those are?#those are generally earned through KISS scenes where the hands move and the heads touch and maybe there's a spin #they achieved a seven-point romance combo by SHARING A SANDWICH #fixing machines and sharing lunch URRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH

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arkethamz · 2 months ago

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happy valentines day, sonadow nation ^^

#my art #i'm still learning how to draw them so its kinda stiff but #i try my best :]#yes its the dumb meme #i only know how to recycle dead memes cry and be bisexaul #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonadow #sonic fanart #art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sonic art #sonic x shadow #sonic movie 3 #sonic 3 #sonic x shadow generations #monthofsonadow2025 #sth

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apollos-boyfriend · 1 year ago

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something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not

#icarus speaks #thinking about orion’s belt!purp #i’ve made her so fucking autistic on complete accident 😭#just bc i project so much onto cpurp in general

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frankierotwinkdeath · 9 months ago

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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her

#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f #like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf #but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic #like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting #idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that #like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom #so there might be something I’m missing

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narwhalsarefalling · 10 months ago

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my (cis) brother is using my old license to buy wine and it has the gender marker F on there. so whenever he gets asked he just says “oh i’m trans”. its literally worked every single time.

#the narwhal speaks #we’re close enough in age and looks to pass for the other #if you took out photos and then shrunk it down on shitty plastic #if he gets asked why he doesnt quite look like the photo he has a whole speech planned abt how hormone replacement therapy changed so much #like muscle distribution etc #he hasnt been asked yet tho but hes practed the speech on me its totally great #what a time for our generation to be alive

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humming-fly · 4 months ago

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I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever