#so it fit nicely that i decided to revisit the first one when i was getting a bit stressed with life

[theirishhalfling]

Meet Grayson, if you haven't already, as his new, first novel is out on Amazon (this came out a couple of weeks ago, but y'know, I forgot Tumblr existed for a while...)

A slight change from my usual with Watcher, Grayson and the Rosso e Nero stories (all 11 of them) were the original novels I wrote over ten years ago before I delved into DnD and fantasy. I revisited the first one recently because I'd always enjoyed writing them and having that many full stories seems like a waste to just sit on.

The novels are somewhere between crime, thriller and sci-fi, but on the light side and are set in a relatively near future version of Las Vegas (it used to be in the 2030s, but not touching them for 12 years meant that suddenly the 2030s are closer than I'd wanted...). If you enjoy a straightforward, easy-to-read, light hearted thriller with a workaholic protagonist who loves security and surveillance more than life itself, it's worth a look ;D

[inawickedlittletown]

No Queerbaiting Here

A long time ago…I’m talking May of 2021, I wrote a meta post about queerbaiting. Essentially an essay. I wrote it right before the S4 finale of 9-1-1 aired because I was frustrated by Buddie fans calling Queerbait entirely like the boy that cried wolf. I still stand by it. Sort of. 

Now, even back then I was pretty clear about how 50/50 I was on Buddie ever going canon. (Maybe not in that post but certainly elsewhere) But, I shipped Buddie then and wrote a lot of fic and meta and participated in fandom. I never said it couldn’t happen…I just would never be bothered if it didn’t.

Where we stand now: It’s not going to happen. 

And where I stand now: fully immersed in Bucktommy. And what’s more, I am more than perfectly happy about Buck and Tommy staying together and going the long-run. Although I can still look at Buddie and think it’s a cute ship, I just don’t want it in canon. I would not be satisfied if the show went that way. But what’s more if Buck and Tommy don’t work out, that would be disappointing, but I’d be okay as long as they got to be happy. There is, after all, always fanfiction. 

So, I wanted to revisit this concept a bit now that Buck has been confirmed as Bisexual and now that he is in a relationship with a man. Not Eddie. Tommy. And somehow, some Buddie fans are still crying queerbait because their ship is not canon. That’s not how it works. Also…shipping works outside of canon, that’s the whole point of shipping. 

To reiterate from my original post on queerbaiting, here’s the definition from wikipedia:

“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.” 

Here’s where I stand: Buddie was abandoned a long time ago. If it was ever a real possibility, we won’t ever know. What we do know is that Oliver was aware that at one point he had given them the go-ahead to make Buck Bi. Whether this was by putting Buck and Eddie together or having Buck realize this another way, we just don’t know that. We don’t have that information and nor will it probably ever be provided to us. Narratively, I know that a lot of fans figured the timing of it fit with S4 and that particular finale but we really just don’t know despite what happened in the finale.

I found that interesting looking back at my own post from back then and the discussion that followed where some fans felt that the way the finale went would determine if Buddie would be another queerbait ship. (I think most people agreed after the will scene that it wasn’t queerbait because it did leave a kernel of hope that Buddie might still happen). 

And yeah, I guess you could argue that the network deciding not to go the route of a queer storyline points to missed opportunity. That doesn’t then mean that any queerbaiting occurred or that any fans are owed anything just because something that was set up or that the writers were writing towards was then scrapped by the network. Is it a shame that it didn’t happen in whatever way they wanted to play it out, sure, but only because Buck would have been confirmed queer earlier. In the same vein isn’t it nice that we have a confirmed Bisexual Buck now? That the show managed to bring it back to that.

A Buck that is happy and free and that has realized something so monumental about himself? Isn’t it nice that all the queer coding that Buck as a character has received since the start of the show is actually finally not just queer coding but full on character development? That we can look back at the show and see all the things Buck did around other men for exactly what they were. 

When Tommy first returned to 9-1-1 in S7, I think a lot of us were excited by the spoilers about Buck and Tommy because of Bi Buck, but also because this was the thing that could lead to Buddie. 

And then…then Tommy was actually on my screen and I doubted it. I actually thought maybe the spoilers were wrong and this was about Eddie and Tommy? That episode flipped things in such an expertly way that by the time Tommy and Buck were sharing a kiss for the first time I was right there with Buck. On a second watch, it is all there. Buck was never jealous because his friend was ignoring him. He was jealous because his best friend had the attention of the guy whose attention he wanted for himself. The writing on that was perfect and no amount of twisting it can change what happened on screen. 

Buck was not jealous because of Eddie. Tommy was never interested in more than friendship with Eddie. And Buck and Tommy have nothing to do with Buddie. Tommy is not a stepping stone, a way for Buck to be ready to then embark on a relationship with Eddie. That’s both disrespectful to Tommy and Buck, but just not what the story being told on the show is doing. 

The storyline is monumental. Having a big strong guy, a firefighter, figure out his sexuality in his thirties is such good storytelling and add to that Tommy. Someone that we already know, who already works as a first responder, and who can show up and wow Buck in such a way that he realizes something about himself? This is what I’ve always wanted. Because guess what, Buck never questioned his sexuality before this. Not when he met Eddie and not when he met anyone else, not until Tommy. 

Going into the new season we know a few things and one of those is that Buck and Tommy are thriving. The media coverage talks about them as a solid couple, it talks about Buck having someone to turn to and complain to. It talks about how they are still in the getting to know each other phase and I love that for them. I love how they are being treated and described and I can’t wait to see what plays out for them and how much of the build up of their relationship we may get to actually see. 

Do you know what the media and the show never talked about outwardly like this? Buddie. Whenever it came up it was always brushed aside in a way that was respectful to fans and what they saw, but without ever confirming or hinting that the show would ever go there. They never queerbaited anyone with Buddie, what they have done is say “yeah…we know what you see” and then turned around and given us a Buck and Eddie friendship and Buck kissing Tommy, going on a date with Tommy, and thriving with Tommy. 

So, no queerbaiting here on the show where half of the major canon pairings are queer. It’s actually more like some fans baiting other fans with theories and headcanons that just don’t fit.

[caramelcleopatraa]

First Appointment (Suit & Tie Revised)

Word Count: 1.9k

x: this fic idea won in the polls :) this series was inspired by kayjayxchar on wattpad ( she's A1 ) and then while writing, I decided to make this into sort of a series. no smut in this part ( I know I know, its such a tragedy! ) but don't underestimate what I got in the works :p not proofread... yet

xx: hello :) new caramel typing here. I wanted to revisit this series and fix it up now since I've written more work since I started this. Now enjoy the New and Revised SUIT & TIE <3

Content: Mafia!Roman Reigns x Designer!Reader, fluff, suggestive themes ( gets a lil steamy ;) ) 18+ Minors Do Not Interact!!

Your fingers type away at your computer, responding to emails from your clients. Your employees are setting up the shop, quickly preparing for another busy day. You were one of the top rated designers in the state of Florida. You’ve been able to travel around the country teaching classes, working your magic for top notch celebrities, and make public appearances. To cut it short, you were living your best life, truly. You got to do what you were passionate about and go against the standard of your families’ traditions and values. And to your surprise, they still supported you. You were proud of yourself that you are successful as you are. There was too much work that you have done to downplay your status, work ethic, and talent.

The chime of your door occupies your attention as a group of people walk in before opening time.

“Wassup biiiiiittch!” One of your closest friends, Trinity, was the first to make herself known. She throws herself on you, and you welcome her sudden embrace. She often visited you at your shop to check on you in her free time, and you always welcomed her company, especially on busy days. Today however, was one of those days where she was coming to you as a client. Because she was your friend and today was one of your busiest days, you told her to come an hour and a half early before you opened. That gave you plenty of time to fit your friends, clean up, and open on time. You scan the group that entered through the door with her. You saw Trinity, her husband Jimmy, his twin Jey and his wife Talia. Your eyes shifted to the larger man that stood behind them, that was accompanied by a shorter, voluptuous woman. It was someone you knew too well. Anyone that lived in Florida had to know his name. Roman Reigns. standing next to him, was what looked like a model. She looked too familiar, and you swore you've seen her somewhere, but you couldn't call it at the moment. The group of six admired your shop, casually walking around and scouting different designs that were displayed on the walls. 

Men’s Side

Women’s Side 

“No matter how many times I come in here, I'm always shocked. Is this new?” Jey says, pointing to the gray suits on your model displays. You knew he would gravitate to those pieces as soon as you came up with the idea a month ago. He always liked black and gray when it came to suits. “Yeah, new in stock. Ya like it?” You sing shakily as Trinity rocked you to death. “Can I take this off ya hands?” “You can after i fit you” You chuckled at his eagerness.

“Anyways..” Talia says, pushing her way through Jimmy and Jey. “This is Roman. I told him that I know a really good designer that can whip up an amazing suit. So he’s here to get fitted as well as the rest of us.” Talia explains to you, looking up in his direction to find him already staring at you. You notice his chocolate brown eyes and brown skin that complimented each other. You try your best to not let that distract you as you reach your hand towards him. You didn’t think he would shake your hand at all. Cold and Dismissive. The two words that would always get thrown around when Roman's name was mentioned.

But he subverted your expectations. You contentedly grinned when his warm hand engulfed yours. “Nice to meet you, beautiful” “Nice to meet you too, handsome.” His voice was smooth and calming. On top of his charming attitude. The perfect voice to coerce someone into doing something illegal. ‘oh my god he’s fine... how am i supposed to stay professional around this man...’

Still, your poker face stayed true as you continued to engage with your client. His partner stayed close to him, latched on at the arm. Almost child like. She pulled on his arm to get his attention, but he simply dismissed her by saying, “Wait over there for me sweets”, and she happily obliged. 

“So how does this whole thing work?” He says, tugging at his black tee. “You’ve never gotten fitted here before and my place runs a little differently than most. We have our scheduled appointments set up so that we can fit our clients, try on potential outfits for you, and send you home with them hours later. There’s a huge inventory that I have attached to this store so as soon as I get done recording your requests, we can get your order started as soon as possible. Any questions?”

Roman smiles smugly and looks at Talia. “She’s good.” Talia retaliates with “I told you so.” You smiled at their comments. To you, it didn’t seem like much. You were simply explaining how your company works so that your client has a basic rundown of how things work. Trinity nudged your shoulder as soon as she noticed your flustered state. You covered your face and did a quick spin, a little habit that formed when you get flustered. The group laughed at your small action. You snapped back into business mode and called your assistant to help you distribute the party of five.

“Aahkilah, can you help me with this party of five?”

 “Coming!” She galloped out to the main area with a work outfit that was damn near cutting dress code, but you didn’t have time to deal with that shit right now. “You can take the couples since they have been fitted before. Be flexible enough to make changes on the spot if our presets don’t fit like they’re supposed to. I’ll take Roman and do the whole process since he’ll be new information in the system.” She was fairly new, and you didn’t trust her just yet with doing an entire fitting appointment on a new client. Plus, you could tell everything that you were saying was going over her head as she basically eye-fucked Roman. Absolutely no work would be done. “But that’s not fairrrruuh! why can’t I take him?” she says, almost mimicking a complaining child. Your eyes close slowly as you sigh and respond, “Because you’re not ready to give a full fitting appointment yet.” 

You wanted to put a nail in this conversation so you could do your job. But, this woman had a damn mission. “You just wanna get him in your private fitting room and fuck him!! You’re not slic-"

“He came here for a fitting! A fitting done by me girl! Please don’t make me have to deal with a child right now.” You were starting to get loud, so you didn’t go back and forth with her like you usually would to whip that bitch into shape. The twins were barely succeeding at hiding their laughter as well as Talia. Roman and Trinity wore smirks on their faces as you reprimanded Aahkilah. She finally buckled down and made sure that the room was ready for the couples. You called in another employee, Gio, to help you with your workload online while you fit your client.

“Oh my god who is that-“ You hit her and stop her sentence and she looks at you like you're crazy. “What!? He’s fine as fuck!” You mentally facepalm as she tries to whisper to you, that ends up more like a whisper scream. “Mhm” You said, as you went behind your desk and pulled up some work for her to do. Sadly, you couldn't stop her when she got to talking. “Oh don’t tell me you don’t think he’s fine! isn’t he right up your alley? Tall? muscular? deep voice? beard? The whole nine?” You took pride in the fact that you took time to know your employees on a personal level and vice versa. You did not think she was going to air out all of the information you told her however. You gave Gio a look that screamed ‘shut the FUCK up’ and she responded to your look by playfully rolling her eyes. You turn the computer towards her. “You’re here to get a bag, not play matchmaker” She groans in response and says “Whatever.” to your dismissive comment. ‘she did not have to embarrass me like that. OMG WHAAT THE FU-‘

“The whole nine huh?” You hear a deep voice mirror your employee’s statement. You turn around to face Roman, the corner of his lips still curled into that mind melting smirk again. He motioned up and down his body, trying to fluster you. And it worked, as your eyes drift over his muscular body. “Little ole me?” ‘LITTLE?’ 

“Little?” Your face contorted into a confused expression, that earns a laugh out of the tall samoan. He starts to walk towards you, decreasing the amount of space between you too. Your momma ain’t raise no bitch so you stood your ground. Well, you tried. You could clearly distinguish the height difference between you and him, and your head raised as your eyes met his. Your hand rested on your hip and your head tilted, slightly sizing him up. “Sir, I will let you know that this is a professional business.” You said, ending off your sentence with an eyebrow raise. Just as you expected, he challenged you back, “Well I'm not invading your personal space, am I?” He said, letting his eyes drift over your body. Anyone in the room would have felt the tension and both of you were desperately waiting on someone to make a move. “Nah, i just don't want a wannabe gangsta playboy fucking up my reputation.” His eyes fluttered closed as he laughed at your statement. You had amused him and peaked his interest. He closed the gap between you two. His breath ghosted over your lips as he said, “So you must know i’m good at fucking something else up, huh?” His eyes glazed over your soft lips, coated with lip gloss. As much as your mind told yourself you had a job to do, his words you had you distracted. It was honestly embarrassing how quick he got you off course. But you wanted to entertain this a little bit. You took a moment to gather yourself before prompting another response. ”Well I wouldn't know cause it’s just rumors.” You shrugged your shoulders looking off to the side. 

“You know how those be.”

“Mhm” He licked his lips. From how close you guys were, you were surprised that his tongue didn't make contact with your bottom lip. “What they been saying about me ma?”

“That apparently you’re good in bed” You raised your pointer and middle fingers bent to imitate quotation marks.

“Mhm, keep going”

“Boy ion know, I really don't be concerned with you.” Your hand returned to your hip. Your attitude started to shine through. 

“Maybe it’s because I haven't taken care of you yet sweetheart” He leans down to whisper the sentence in your ear. You feel his lips lightly touch your ear and your entire body froze. 

You huffed, and said “You say that like you're so sure of yourself.” You challenged his boldness, but nothing could prepare you for what he said to you next.

“Maybe when we hit this fitting room, I can show you how sure I am”

🏷️ tags :) @hunnidmilly @reignsboy19 @2-muchsauce

@theninthwonder @harmshake @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen

@alyyaanna @empressdede @badbitchcentralinc @christinabae

@fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @cyberdejos2 @murrylove

@sassginaswanmills @pixiedust4000

@shes2real @pittieprincess22 @wrestlingprincess80

@msbigredmachine @sayyestoheav3nn @trippinsorrows @mzv11

@saintmagx @jstarr86 @pr3ttiesz @trentybenty @romansthrone

@scarlettnoir01 @tshepisho @rose-bliss @yana3sworld

@queeny23 @bebesobrielo @heauxvibez @amandairene88

@potatosackk

[koolades-world]

Hello, i Hope this Is not sudden but i have been reading your fanfics these last few days and i have to day that i really like them.

Satan is my favorite obey me character and i love reading fanfics that contain angst from him. One of my favourites Is the fanfic you wrote "just like Lilith" it's amazing. Anyway i have a request that you might like, how would the demon brothers react if Satan became an ángel?, if the celestial realm decided to put Satan out of his misery?.

It's a strange idea that crossed my mind but i thought It was interesting, you don't have to put all the brothers if It causes you any problemas, but the way english is not my fiesta language so i'm sorry for any mistakes.

This Is the only idea i came up with so i Hope you like It, take as much time as you want to write this and keep up the good work.

Have a nice day/night ♡

hello!! I will gladly write this. your english is pretty good!

I'm really glad you like just like lilith!! it was one of my favorites to write and based on a few other requests I've gotten I may be making a part two

fun fact: for this entire thing I wrote Celestia instead of Celestial Realm and only caught it on my read through afterwards (outing myself as a genshin player lol)

please enjoy!

If Satan became an angel

Lucifer

he sees himself almost to the point where it's blinding

Satan's wings are almost identical to his and for once in his life, he's at a loss for what to do

he's at the front of the charge if the Celestial Realm dare to make even a single move against him

one of the few times the two of them have real bonding time, without their rivalry

Mammon

at first, he's a little excited since now Satan would be able to experience what he missed out on

but as time goes on, he realizes he got very few of the benefits he gives him as many tips as he can remember

he's very loyal, so of course he'll follow whatever Lucifer decides to do

he likes the new Satan, but he misses the old Satan

Levi

very apprehensive but curious at the same time

starts to think of all the animes he's watched that might appl but decides not to say anything regarding that

however, once he learns that the Celestial Realm wants to do something about Satan, he becomes Hell's Admiral

if it's war the Celestial realm wants, it's war they'll get

Satan

he's so lost and confused

he's thrown into emotional turmoil and revisits basically all the debates he's had with himself about why he doesn't fit in with his brothers

at first, he accepts his fate of being put out of his misery

but once he sees how much his brothers love him, he's revitalized and ready to join them

Asmo

his first instinct is to check on Satan and see how he's doing

he gives him lessons on how to care for his new wings and uplifts him when he notices he's down

it's easy for Satan to see in those moments why he used to be called the Jewel of the Heavens

he doesn't care what he has to do to keep Satan from the hands of the Celestial Realm, but he doesn't care how far he has to go

Beel

beyond shocked when he learns about what happened

he doesn't need to know how or why this happened, his only goal is to resolve the situation no matter what that means as long as his family comes out safe

the only time Beel had been seen angrier was when either his twin or Mc had been personally threatened

all his rage was directed at the Celestial Realm for even daring to think such a thing, but is such a sweetie to Satan about the whole thing

Belphie

at first, he didn't care since Satan was alright

however, once he learned the implications, he sat up abruptly from his nap and rallied his brothers to make a game plan before they even learned the Celestial Realm would act at all

he initially takes charge, before Lucifer and Satan since they're in shock

it's not often he shows that he cares, but now is one of those times and it tightens the bond between himself, Lucifer, and Satan

Mc (bonus!)

you're there for Satan by his side the entire time

you wipe his tears, soothe his rage, and comfort him through doubt

none of the brothers will let you or Satan be out in any active battle, but that just leaves bonding time even if it's in a highly secure safe room

you let him know no matter what, you'll be there for him

[yuseirra]

The significance of "stars" in onk

A continuation from this previous post about the possibility of Ai and Hikaru being ACTUAL gods!

This particular line from Mephisto always stuck out to me:

星は砕け光る

Hoshi wa kudake hikaru

The stars shatter and shine

this must be important... it has their actual names in it!

also, there are lyrics that go:

あなたに会いたい 星に願いをかけて

I want to see you I wish upon the stars

and every time hikaru appears to his children, he talks about wishes too, you know? He asks ruby what's her wish and he congratulates aqua for having fulfilled his wish. Clearly, wishes are what's important to him (and I think that's why the person who's wishing in Mephisto must be him, not aqua.)

you wish upon a star. The stars must have an important role in this story, and it also could be related to the "star eyes" some characters have, if you look into the lyrics of fatal and mephisto, it seems like they are capable of both "granting wishes" and "ruining lives"

the speaker of Fatal pursues it immensely, going

Please, let me hear your voice

Please, keep your eyes on me

Without you, I cannot live anymore I would sacrifice anything for you I can’t get enough of your love

Keep your eyes on me, my dearest fatale!

as if the "star" is an entity with feelings capable of reciprocating what they give to them. Obviously it's the star that's the fatale, and the fatale in this story would be none other than Ai.

so we now have the baseline that Ai is the star, and we can start to infer a lot of things after deciding that's true.

I had looked into the lore of Amaterasu way back when I first read the series because I thought it was oddly specific to be mentioned out of the blue, and the lore is briefly mentioned once in Vol.10 too-

when the goddess Amaterasu(the sun god) had retreated to a cave, the goddess of the arts, Ame-no-Uzume, brought her out with her dances. That sort of parallels the relationship Ruby's had with her mother in a way, since she's the one who's given birth to her new life and had her pursue being an idol(a star)

Ame-no-uzume also has a husband, Sarutahiko, and guess what, he has the title Daimyōjin (大明神, great bright god). He's the god of "light"= hikaru.

It all fits in so nicely together for it to be just a coincidence...

There was a part in this comic where everyone prays at Ame-no-uzume's shirine, and the wishes all come true but in a pretty twisted way. That's exactly what the "star" does described in the song fatal

身勝手な巨星、狂わされた生

Selfish giant star, ruined lives

身勝手な< this is translated as "selfish", but I looked at other translations and the word means "unpredictable and arbitrary". This description suits Ai, then, for having unintentionally caused a lot of people's misery although I don't think it was really her fault..

I've said in my other post that Ai could literally be a star and has returned to being one. The things she said to her children, about Aqua becoming an actor and Ruby becoming an idol, literally came true. Maybe she really is watching them from afar as a star now. Maybe she's become the next ame-no-uzume and is granting wishes, but her powers aren't perfect and flawed. Either she's favored by a god or was one without realizing it, she's referred as a star an awful lot to the point I feel it's being shoved in the face...

the songs are really onto something, I think the theme of "stars" and gods may be revisited in the final arc,

which is, conveniently named "Towards the stars and dreams"!!!

The stars are definitely up to something here!! The songs seem to be indicating that!!

[samkat10423]

Halloween time!

Because it's that time of the year, I decided to revisit my Greys Harbor by @blitzgal. If you want to see the town lots that I showed you previously, they're around here somewhere. Anyway, right now, I'm "fixing" some of the residents - and their houses - that she included in this world.

The first one lives here:

This house, believe it or not, came from that Midnight Hollow world. When blitzgal added it to this world, she just plunked down the original lot with all the dead trees and whatnot. Since I wanted it - and all the others she placed - to fit in with this world, I gave it a face-lift.

Anyway, this is the sim who lives here. She's that Ainsley sim from Midnight Hollow. In this world, she is now a vampire - hence the outfit. I got the outfit, BTW, from @kevinvoncrastenburg. It's called Scary Mary, and makes a great vampire outfit. So, thank you!

This is one of the Moonlight Falls builds. I did do a bit of work on it, before moving in the MacAnna sisters from that Dragon what-its-name world.

I used some of that bird CC created by @murfeelee for these sims. Anyway, both are now witches in the law enforcement and criminal careers. And they hate each other. Good times!

This house belongs to those Roommates Vegan. I did do some work on the house, and added that greenhouse sprinkler set, since the fairy sim works in the science field and I'm nice to my sims. Well, I AM!!!!

The pasty-looking sim is the vampire and he works as a journalist, while the one in the Hawaiian shirt is the fairy. I have that mod in my game that gets rid of the wings - mostly because I like giving the fairy supernatural trait to my elves. Anyway, both sims were tweaked using @murfeelee's bird cc. So, thanks to her!

I have some more, but I have to take my brother to the doctor, since he can no longer drive. Alzheimers will do that to you.

[the-possum-writes]

✮⋆˙Kinktober 2024

[Day 4] Latex

Character: Princess Bubblegum Tags: NSF/W, gen neutral pronouns, non descriptive genitalia for the reader, Latex kink, soft femdom, brief choking, science experiment, kissing, masturbation, boss x assistant Word count: 1707 Synopsis: Princess Bubblegum hired you as her new assistant, you're doing well until the sight of her in latex gloves sends you spiraling into a blushing mess that interferes with your work and PB decides to do something about it .

It started innocent enough. Normally Princess Bubblegum is more than used to working on her own but after the countless accidents involving cinnamon bun and her more elaborate projects requiring an extra hand, the princess decided it was time to hire an assistant. Bubblegum didn't want to overwhelm you with her tools and her scientific terms in the first few days so you were regulated to sterilize her equipment, organize her work documents and make sure cinnamon bun didn't waltz his way into the lab. It was kinda of boring, but you were happy to help her in any way you can.

You find it good that a princess prioritizes the protection of her own people, even though she occasionally acts morally dubious about her past actions with other kingdoms. Bonnibel has exceptional intelligence when it comes to scientific topics as well and you respect her for being a diligent woman. It's why, whenever you stare at her in a way that you don't think is respectful and admiring, you can't help but feel a little embarrassed.

It all started when you managed to avoid doing paperwork. In Bonnibel's system, there's a little sterilizing station with a coat rack for her lab coat, safety goggles, and a dispenser for hairnets and latex gloves before you enter her unique laboratory. Usually, you would place the documents on the table or put them through a slot that led to her lab, but on this occasion, you managed to catch her just as she was about to enter. You arrived with the document in hand just as she was washing her hands. She nodded at the folder she requested, but before touching anything, she put on her disposable gloves. You waited patiently as she inserted her bubblegum pink hand into the rubbery glove, and the band of the glove's edge made a light smack as she adjusted it around her wrist. You're not sure if it was the air conditioning or the motion itself, but it gave you a nice shiver. You dismissed it from your mind, thinking it was an isolated incident, and carried on with your day.

However, you couldn't stop revisiting that memory, circling it in your mind like Science the rat did on his exercise wheel.

The second occasion was when you were eventually granted access to her laboratory. Before she thought you were ready to assist Bubblegum with her more "hands on approach" to work, you spent a full month learning the security protocols and guidelines. It was fascinating to watch her handle glass tubes and manage tiny test samples with a steady hand and delicate tweezers. You're not here to gawk at her, though. It wasn't until one of those test containers behaved abnormally, and Bubblegum grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the ground before exploding.

"Ein Misthaufen!" She cursed in a language foreign to you, before looking back at you in a more calmer tone. "Are you hurt?" She asks. "I'm good." It's all you can manage to squeak, both from astonishment at the explosion and from the actual contact her gloved hand made with the bare skin on your wrist. The sensation caused the hairs on your neck to stand up and sent shivers down your spine. "I'll add this to the daily report and call it a day. We'll adapt more safety precautions tomorrow." Bubblegum states as she helps you stand up, already missing her touch when she pulled away. From there on you couldn't tell if you were attracted to the Princess herself or the rubber material of her gloves. So one day you told her. "Princess Bubblegum, I don't think I'm fit to help you out anymore." "Why's that?" You look away with slight shame and embarrassment, but she places her hand on your shoulder with a smile that told you everything was alright and it was enough reassurance to open up about your troubles. "I've been getting distracted by your gloves recently, it's highly unprofessional from my part and that's why I think I'm not suitable for the job." You confess, but rather than being met with disgust as you originally thought, Princess Bubblegum raises her hand to her chin. She has that 'I'm thinking about something' expression on her face.

"You see, I've been pleased with your assistance over the last few months, and I'm willing to work this out before firing you for such a minor detail; how about we try to work it out first?" 

"Huh?"

She leads you to her office, which is adjacent to the lab, locking the door behind her to give the two of you a bit of privacy. "You can be honest with me; I won't get upset. So, what troubles you about the gloves? The material? Is it the color or the smell?" she asks. Bubblegum seeks to pinpoint the problem, like when she looks for flaws in her machinery.

"Well, it's not so much the gloves that bother me... Quite the opposite really, and that's why I think it’s a problem." You scratch the back of you neck, now aware of how much she's eyeing you now unlike previous times where she's only focused on her work.

Princess Bubblegum removes herself from the desk she was previously leaning against, slowly approaching you and carefully lifting her gloved hand to you. Her index finger pokes your shoulder before raising it to your exposed neck, and her hand lightly grazes your chin before eventually booping your nose. She observed your reactions as if you were another one of her experiments. "Hmm…dilated pupils and a rapid response. If you don't mind, I'd like to do a test to see if it's the gloves that are distracting you or something else totally."

You struggle to swallow and could only nod in response.

Bubblegum now runs her hands over the exposed skin on your body, briefly grazing your cheek before running it down to your neck again, but this time she places her thumb on your jugular vein while her index and middle finger apply pressure to the other side of your neck; whether PB was subtly choking you or measuring your heartbeat, you're not sure. Regardless, it piqued your interest. Your thighs twitch involuntarily, resisting the urge to press them together for friction or release.PB detects this and lowers her free hand to the side of your outer thigh; it didn't do much for you until she crawled her fingers up to the side of your hip, where your pants are held up by a belt, and raised your shirt enough for her thumb to stroke the exposed flesh. Such a small action was enough to raise goosebumps on your arms; it was subtle but delicate. Like everything about her.

You were so out of it you almost miss when Princess Bubblegum said she'd leave for a moment to get something. The break was enough to allow you to regulate your breathing and leave you to your own thoughts, which were all over the place. "She probably thinks I'm weird, from now on I need to keep my composure so I can hold on to what dignity i have left." Is the resolve you've settled on but the whole thing was tossed out of the window when Princess Bubblegum came back into the room only to remove her lab coat to reveal the pink skin tight suit underneath, absolutely hugging every part of her figure and creaking with every step she took, which happen to lead her right in front of you. "W-where did you get that from?" "Oh this? It's a body suit I kept from last year's science fair. Are you ready to continue our little experiment?"

Your quick nod brought a grin to Bonnibel's matte pink lips, and she resumed her touch on any area of your body that was exposed to her until it wasn't enough for both of you. You began to suspect the genuine purpose of this experiment as her gloved hand fell on the interior of your thigh and raised up to your stomach, placing her palm flat on your tummy till she lowers it and dips past the waistline of your pants. An audible whimper came from your throat, reaching Bonnibel's ears. "Does this feel particular for you?"

"Yeah... Feels goods."

Princess Bubblegum's suit squeaks a little as she adjusts herself to sit on your lap much to your surprise, she raises her other hand onto your neck once more but this time she added a bit more pressure to the sides of your throat but not necessarily choking you, it has your body covered in goosebumps and your moans raising in different tones the more she moved her other hand in your sensitive parts, with the rubber making more squeaky noses alongside the sweat and fluid, You kept your eyes closed the entire time, but when Bonnibel told you to look at her, you did, and she gave you an intense glare. Unlike the experiment, which was her idea, you initiated the kiss. PB tasted just as sweet as she smelled, tasting the natural flavor of tutti frutti from her as your tongue lapped at her rosey lips. This kiss, along with the overwhelming odor of bubblegum and rubber, pushed you over the brink, causing you to mewl into the kiss as you were overcome by her touch.

"Hnng.. Peebs, I'm so sorry..." You attempt to breathe normally but she shushes you with another kiss, this one more chaste than the previous one. "Shh, you did great; you passed my small tests. I've come to a conclusion." Bonnibel reassures you. "Wha-?" "The rubber gloves weren't the main thing distracting you, but instead it was me. Wasn't it? I've seen the way you look at me when you think I'm busy." The princess smiles knowingly even as you blush and try to look away. "...Maybe." Princess Bubblegum laughs a sweet little giggle, placing a peck on your cheek. "But I'm probably still getting ahead of myself, don't worry, we can do a little more tests if you like." You didn't need to be told twice since she has you nodding once again.

[barmadumet]

Because I am nosy and curious I want to ask if you could tell me something that surprised you while you were working on Streets of Gold? Did it change the story?

Hello, Wibz! Thank you for this lovely ask! It is always nice to get to talk about this big ole fic that consumed so much of my life (and my heart) for two years straight. I can tell you lots of things, because SO much of it was a surprise. The length alone 😳 And there were many surprising scenes that came to me in the moment, like the lightsaber kyber crystal swap; I was writing how they were sparring by the lake, and bam! It just poured out. Many of the themes were also surprises - the old, uncomfortable couch lol. The "I'm with you." The birthday theme! -I hadn't planned in advance for giving them the same birthday. And definitely the religious theme. When the last line of the story ended up being a prayer, I knew I had to go back and incorporate it into the boys' history; there was surely a luxury in writing the entire story BEFORE posting the first chapter, because I was able to further support all the surprise themes that seemed to keep coming up. Many changes came from that method of writing, because I was able to just sort of problem solve as I went back through in editing and make things better fit together. Like Cody! Cody was a big surprise. I knew he'd be in the story, but I didn't plan for him to be Master Obi's love interest. Nor did I plan for the two of them to have their own little story within the story. And It wasn't until that last chapter that I decided that kiss under the fireworks was their first kiss, and I did have to go back and remove earlier kisses! One of the very biggest surprises was changing the wedding location at the last minute, the day before posting! And that ended up opening a can of worms 😮‍💨 In moving the wedding from a traditional venue to the Temple, I had to orchestrate like I was a real event planner! Good thing I like doing that 😅 I had pulled up online maps of the Temple, and after too many minutes spent studying, and after much contemplation, I figured out the Meditation Chamber backed up to the Room of the Thousand Fountains, and that was when I decided that was their alter backdrop ���� And suddenly I'm removing walls and bringing in portables as dressing rooms. . . I may have missed my calling 😂😂😂 I actually get told that often in regards to event planning lol. But I suppose the mother of all surprises was that what I had planned to be the final chapter ended up being the 45th out of 65. And changes were definitely made there! Like the creation of the conflict between the two Obi-Wans. . . which was GREAT fun to write 😈 THANK YOU VERY MUCH for this ask! Sorry to overload you, but I had fun revisiting my beloved story 💘

[asinfullangel]

11 regret

“How was I supposed to know they were the vip.”

Working as a person’s personal assistance can be tiring on most days. Running around, doing the side tasks and in most cases speaking for your employer on their behalf because they are too lazy to do it themself. The pay is good and getting to be in the big city is a nice addon, but there are some things that I can’t stand doing. I don’t really need to mention this though it will make things easier to understand. I am a pred and being around such uptight people with so much cash just makes me want to eat their ass then keep the cash.

There was one time that I put up a week working for a shortie with a thick wallet, almost as thick as my thigh, and I was so ready to quit. Self centered, picky while unwilling to pay for stuff he already tried out and had the nerve to call me his “muscle pump brute” whenever he wanted to intimidate someone. When I finally decided to quit working with him he was so bold to ask me to hand back my paycheck. His ass was mine and it tasted as good as the rest of his wimpy body. What I came to regret kinda was when my agency asked me what happened to my previous employer. I know the police would be looking into his disappearance and with me being the last person that talked to him alone I was always the first suspect to get questioned heavily. I think that lasted a few weeks before those copiers left me alone after running out of leads (god, I was almost starving myself just waiting for them out).

The next guy I was assigned to work for was a bit nicer while having some annoying quirks that eventually got to me. Was thinking about what his needs most of the time when he thought he was “helping” others, didn’t think he needed a second more once he was done at an event and was kind of a shut in so… I got pretty tired from doing so much fetching since “I’m paying for your services so could you pretty please go buy me-” junk that was all over the city and he sure wasn’t dealing with all of the traffic. He tasted fatty for being a skinny pig, but taking a few hundred bucks from his private safe was a nice tip for my services. I think the same agent was looking into me when I once again turned out to be the last person that last saw him, watching me like a hawk. 2 delivery boys went down into the tank during that month and I’m sure either one of the two were secretly an agent (felt like I had a badge trying to pass through my gut).

I know these rich guys, agents and anyone else that I had as a meal will respawn back sooner or later, but I think my most recent rich prick I’m thinking of going after his tasty ass for seconds.

I mean I sure wouldn’t want to go revisit a previously eaten prey even if they may fear a foggy memory of my stomach, haha. Though these men left me wanting another taste eventually and I shouldn’t deny myself another taste when I crave more. He was half and half in my opinion, can give and don’t mine receiving a few complaints. He was entertaining enough of an employer and knew when to give me a break from doing daily trash… I kinda regret not grabbing a bit to eat before showing up to work that day. I’ll keep it brief just because I’m not really the kind to be sappy. A few buds of mine went out drinking the night before, I got pretty hammered and may have forgotten to grab a prey on the way home. I’m used to sleeping on a fun stomach and passively burning away what’s left as my breakfast till lunch. I had my boss for breakfast… Don’t blame me for eating him! I blame him for asking me to watch over him as he goes for a swim. Alone with him in his private sweep just tempted my hunger before I saw him wearing a speedo. A secretly fit hunk under all those suits he had me pick up personality, how did I not know this before (though it was best that I didn’t otherwise I wouldn’t have so many tips from him personally). He enjoyed a swim in his pool before I sent him into my stomach to swim in stomach acid.

There, you have the one person that I actually regretted eating. I could have gone back to working for him and made up some sort of story about what happened that day, but things wouldn’t have felt the same knowing what he looked like underneath his clothing along with his taste. So I made up a little lie once he respawned, traded my position with another work buddy of mine and now continuing on with my job… I come after him a few times a month and eat him again after my bud lends me his roomkey. Go ahead and question why go through the trouble of going after an old prey, I can sure as hell come after ya and let my stomach continue doing the talking if you keep this up.

[drifloonz]

can you do one where glitchy red meets his s/o through the game. At first he doesn’t trust them, but slowly starts to trust them when they tell him they relate to his feeling of being forgotten and discarded 👀

ofc, ofc !! this man is so affection and touchstarved fr . please give his gameboy screen a little kiss. he probably won't feel it but he'll appreciate it. i also actually Wrote for this one bc i felt like it was more appropriate. these have little timeskips or pov changes which are indicated whenever i separate paragraphs with the _ symbol. hope u enjoy.

this is long but i think most people know i write more than necessary at this point + this is Actual Writing and not a bulleted hc post

It was your typical Friday evening - you were walking around a local game store you've grown quite familiar with these past couple of months, visiting it every so often since it had a lot more agreeable prices than the egregious ones people asked for on sites like eBay. You usually came here with one goal in mind - find some sweet old games that caught your eye, maybe even a console if you felt like it, and take some home to play eventually. It was a nice schedule you had, and it got you out of the house a lot more often, which you always needed since otherwise, you were pretty much a hermit.

And after all, you had a lot more spending money recently in the past few years. You've always loved videogames - so you decided to make it a habit to go here more often, trying to play more of the games you couldn't afford or find back when you were a lot younger... but today, one particular cartridge caught your eye - on one of those Used Games racks you'd see at some stores, stuck in plastic protective casing since it no longer had a box connected to it... was a copy of the original pokemon games.

These original games felt elusive to you as a child. You were a little too young to grow up with them - your first Pokemon Games being around the DS era. You know what they looked like and the basics of it all... but why the hell not? Revisiting classics was all you came to this store to do, so you might as well snag it. After all, it was even used and really really cheap, compared to prices you'd see elsewhere. You'd prefer a fresh copy with the box included, but you'll take what you can get, especially since most people would make you pay outrageous money for an untouched copy, so... score.

You decided to open the display case and take it with you, beginning the walk to the cash register, but also keeping an eye out for anything else interesting. After all, you had a lot more money than just the 6$ or so the cartridge was being sold at... and you then realized you didn't even have a Gameboy - your old childhood hand-me-down Gameboy Color is probably long gone or dead by now. And like destiny, your eyes met with a rack full of Gameboys. Originals, Colors, Advances, SPs... It was beautiful, truly. But one caught your eye. A red Gameboy Color. You might as well buy a red one, right? It fit the namesake of the cartridge you were basically buying this for anyways. You looked around for a few more minutes, before buying only those two - it was a decent haul, you'd say.

... Little did you know, you were also taking home a consciousness you weren't aware of.

_

Although he wasn't able to do anything since he was either taken out of the console or shut down ( he couldn't tell, not remembering what the last player did clearly anyways, which he'd assume means they'd suddenly shut off the console without warning ) he could hear. Barely, but he could.

Muffled sounds, blurry voices, and distant music that rang throughout whatever building he was in, now. It was sort of grating, this disorienting cacophony of noises that felt far away yet so close at the same time... ringing in his ears like a migraine that wouldn't go away.

It was better than the noise he was subjected to in the game, which he got a respite from when he wasn't there, but he could still hear faint buzzing in his ears due to how often he had to hear loud grating sounds within his 2D hell, mainly when somebody decided to mess with the glitches in the game - which almost every player did without fail. He could never have a peaceful playthrough without the person failing to see it to the end, and either pawning him off, or getting bored and deciding to mess the game up against his wishes.

Oh well. He can vaguely feel the texture of being placed in some sort of bag, as the sounds muffle further. He doesn't believe this time will be different. Why would it?

_

Eventually, you return home, holding your backpack in hand. You usually brought it with you, since sometimes you'd overspend and sort of need a backpack to carry everything - but this time you were pretty good with your impulsive spending. You immediately walked upstairs to your room, opening the door and feeling that familiar warmth, and the whir of the fan you kept on for background noise. You opened your backpack, setting down your two finds on your desk... as you open the plastic protective casing of the Gameboy cartridge, and realize something.

The transparent casing it was held in to protect it seemed to hide the fact that it looked... a lot cheaper than a legitimate copy should be - the sticker looking more saturated and not really form-fitting to the cartridge it was stuck on. But maybe someone just tore up the sticker and tried to replace it...?

You never really played the OG Pokemon Red - it was a little past your era, as stated before - so it's not like you truly knew, but... the cartridge also felt off, like it was made with what you can only describe as plastic that felt like it was supposed to be used on a McDonald's toy rather than a game cartridge. Oh well. It was cheap anyway, and that'd probably be why.

You just hope it wasn't damaged.

To take your mind off of the possible disappointment, you quickly take out the newly bought Gameboy Color and insert the cartridge inside. The old yet familiar jingle plays through the bit-crushed speakers, as the intro plays... You realize you never even played FireRed or LeafGreen either - really, your only exposure to Kanto was through Lets Go, which you didn't have the energy to finish - the Pokemon Go gimmicks in it being kind of obnoxious in your opinion - and through Heartgold and Soulsilvers postgame... which sort of had terrible level scaling, now that you think back on it. You have to replay those too, one day. Just not today.

The original pokemon theme plays at the title screen, as you simply pause and listen to it for a while, enjoying the nostalgia for something that you've never even played... until you get impatient and simply press the play button, starting a new save. Normally, you'd name the protagonist your own name - but since you couldn't pick a gender ( the girl / feminine protagonists designs just looked better in your opinion ) and you didn't really feel personally attached to the OG - and you also couldn't customize him as you could with the protagonists in Gen 6 and onward. So you decided to just keep his name as plain and simple RED.

He was much more of an existing character than a blank-slate protagonist to you anyways, but that's probably just because you didn't grow up with this game. You know, come to think about it, it's sort of funny this original RED design never stuck. Ash was his anime counterpart ( although Red also appears in the anime but isn't the central protagonist and is usually moreso in spinoff animes ) and in Firered and Leafgreen he eventually got redesigned... You sort of liked his original colors and black hair. You think they kept that design for Lets Go since it was a faithful(..ish) remake, and also something something Pokemon timeline theory, but you didn't really know. Eh.

After naming your rival BLUE to fit with choosing the "canon" names, you began playing. Nothing seemed off, yet. Maybe the cartridge just got a little messed up and they had to fix it as best they could for it to be presentable or something? Who knows.

You play as normal, noticing that Red seemed to... sometimes have internal monologues? Once again. You never played the original pokemon red, hell, not even FRLG, but you don't think that's supposed to be like that... but you simply let it be. It was probably normal, right?

You at least... hoped it was.

_

A few hours pass, as you seem to play as normally as a Pokemon Red player could - relatively, at least. You obviously weren't a child from the way you played, grinding in certain spots for longer than necessary, nicknaming your Pokemon things that were legible and had interesting meanings ( not that he'd admit that ), and doing pretty well for yourself overall - even catching as many pokemon as you could per area. This wasn't necessarily a good thing - it was almost always the adults that happened to mess with him the most, despite their nostalgia... He didn't make his presence too clear yet. His body ached from being forced to move, but he got used to it. He always did.

He's felt this all before. Experienced it all before. Nothing surprises him at this point - players are awfully predictable when there's only a limited amount of things you can do in a game, especially one like the OG Pokemon Red. He even usually guessed what his players would catch and put on their team accurately, about 90% of the time - it wasn't different with you, not whatsoever. None of this was new.

The way you played seemed... innocent, for now. But that's how it always started, didn't it? Innocent, unassuming... until they've decided they're done playing the game in its intended way, and try to play god with the world he lived in. He knew the second whoever was behind the screen this time - because he had a sneaking suspicion the asshole who got a hold of him last time pawned him off - would just get bored like all the others, and mess with things that were not to be messed with. Same old, same old.

After you beat your third gym, he starts to get tired of this, almost wishing you'd get bored faster so his hope would be crushed even faster, and so he'd just get it all over with.

He might as well make his own torment go faster, at least.

_

[ Why are you doing this? ]

The textbox appears out of nowhere in a point you were absolutely certain it wasn't supposed to - you weren't talking to anybody... And.. no matter how much you pressed A, the text wouldn't advance. Your eyes widen in slight fear. You knew something was up... and you were enjoying your time, too.

You didn't know how to respond. I mean, why would you? It's just a game, it's just probably some edited code. Until the textbox scrolls, slowly spelling out something else.

[ Speak. ]

You read the text and don't do what it asks for a solid minute, going through all of this in your head. The funny thing is that other than the game clearly trying to talk to you, you almost found it more disturbing that the textbox was using italics. You don't think the pokemon red font ever had italics...??? It almost implied that whoever was talking to you was trying to express a certain tone, despite only communicating through text. You... were curious. And scared.

"Why can't you?" you speak out loud - despite it seeming improbable that the device could hear you. But it was clearly asking.

[ That's a stupid question. ]

Is all the textbox responds with. Fair enough, you supposed, but that was... pretty rude. You sigh, and decide to just answer the question, since this thing can hear you. You hoped this was a fucked up fever dream.

"Fine. Doing what? Playing... the game..? Do you want me to do something else?" You ask the strange entity, confused and a little more frustrated than you are scared now.

[ I don't care. ] It starts. [ Do whatever you want. ]

"You don't seem to want me to do what I want, considering you stopped me." You call the entity out. The textbox is simply three dots for a second, before deciding to respond.

[ Maybe I don't want to be bothered... ] The textbox scrolls, as the player sprite, RED, walks a tile forward - despite textboxes usually not allowing you to move - and also, you didn't move him. He moved by himself. You start to connect the puzzle pieces. [ By someone who's just here to take advantage of me again. ]

You feel a little guilty. You didn't know exactly... what he meant? But you begin to realize that... this was RED, at least, you think. He did have some oddly introspective inner thoughts that you feel weren't supposed to happen... so it all lined up.

"... all i'm doing is trying to play." You say, looking guilty. He almost felt bad. Almost.

[ That's what they always say, until they get tired and throw me away like some toy. ]

If you felt cheekier, you'd tell him that the GameBoy is technically a toy, but that'd just feel unnecessarily rude and unwarranted right now. You avert your eyes, feeling ... some sort of heavy gaze on you, despite the only people in the room being you and... technically RED. You ... related to his plight. Not because you were a seemingly sentient character trapped in a game, no, just because you felt like people'd replace you at a moment's notice and throw you away for "better" people, or whenever they get tired of you.

"What do you even mean by that?"

[ No one cares about me. They replaced me without a second thought. And anybody who comes back to play this broken game simply does it to exploit it, not to enjoy it as it was meant. ]

You ponder his words for a moment, before even more seem to show up - you... seemed to hit a sensitive spot.

[ My body isn't even mine. My autonomy doesn't belong to me, it belongs to whoever decides to puppeteer me that day. ]

The textbox continues, but you cut it off, noticing that he's essentially rambling to himself... in text form. "So what do you want me to do? Turn off the game? Just... stop playing?"

The textbox pauses again, simply turning back to the sloooowly typed [ ... ] it seems to turn into when he's thinking.

[ Just give me a break. For at least a little while. Don't turn it off, though. ] He says. He doesn't expect you to follow through, but... you simply abide by his wishes, sighing and propping the Gameboy against a wall.

_

For weeks and weeks, that's just how it'd continue. He'd sometimes let you play, either opting to barely say anything, or sometimes being particularly talkative that day, usually to be slightly rude and criticize your choices. It was sort of annoying, but oh well. Other times, he simply wanted to be left alone, but you notice he barely requests to be turned off. He understands it if the battery is low, but other than that... he doesn't seem to like the idea of it. Which you can understand. You'd assume it'd be like going into a coma where someone else controls when you wake up.

Eventually, though, he'd open up to you more and more. Baby steps, but still steps.

"...You know, I always sort of preferred the original Red design."

[ ... Really? ]

He felt like he was blushing. Not that you could tell, nor could he... but it made him feel nice. It didn't help that you saying that came out of nowhere, but he'd grown used to it. You seemed socially awkward, so he didn't mind.

That day, you two simply conversed more about Red's issues. You wanted to understand him better... And he liked that you seemed to care.

_

It was some... day. He didn't know. He didn't care to ask, nor did it mean much to him. You were rambling on and on about some of the newer generations to him with such a passion... he learned earlier on that you'd never played the original games, which intrigued him - it was mostly only people that had played them and wanted to mess around who ever got a hold of his cartridge. He simply nodded along, sometimes asking questions, as you continued to tell him about the future pokemon games. You'd even show him pictures of some of your favorite new 'mons, since somehow he was able to see whatever was put in front of the screen.

He knew a little bit about the newer generations, but not too much admittedly... but the way you talked about them with so much passion was... endearing. He smiled a little, not even realizing until a few seconds later.

He realized he'd developed feelings. For a player. It made him feel almost sick, even. He knew how easily his trust could be betrayed... but... maybe he could have that little spark of hope for once. Maybe he could pretend you'd be better. For once. But the way he'd hear you sometimes laugh - a genuinely positive response to the things he'd say... it was cute. It made him feel like a person again, and not just some toy to drag around.

He really liked... just, everything about you. The way you acted, the way you'd listen to his problems and often would even relate to them - he vividly remembers a conversation about also feeling like you were easily replaceable and how people just are like that sometimes - and your voice... He didn't have high standards whatsoever, but god you were out of his league. You were also... absolutely stunning from what he could see. He was smitten and he fucking hated it. God. He's mentally facepalming himself. How could this even happen to him?

It's only when he sees you looking back at the screen expecting an answer that he realizes he tuned every one of your words out while mentally panicking.

[ ... uh. Can you repeat that? ] He feels bad for asking, but he didn't want to pretend he was listening. "Oh, sure!" You give him a smile... your smile was pretty too. He wishes he saw it more often. ... why is he even thinking this about you? It's probably because you're the only one who's been this kind. He chalks it up to that and pretends to forget.

_

The feeling didn't go away. It was practically eating at his heart to not tell anyone, to not act on it. It was almost worst than anything he's been subjected to unwillingly by players. ... That was hyperbole, but he's allowed to be a little dramatic, he thinks.

You two were having some conversation about something not that important again, before he interrupts you.

[ ... Y/N. ]

He practically never refers to you by name, despite learning yours early on. It felt a bit too... intimate, too personal. But now he was using it because of that fact.

He sees your eyebrows raise. "Hm?"

[ I have something to tell you... that I've wanted to for a long time. ]

He sees your expression turn, looking curious. You definitely didn't know, which was making his nerves act up more and more. "... go on?"

[ ... I think, I'm in love with you. ]

"... you're not joking, right?" You say. He couldn't discern your voice or tone... and it scared him a little.

[ Why would I be? ]

You don't respond. He just stares, looking for a response, as he sees you smile a little. That was good. Smiling was good.

"... really?"

[ Yes. ]

He responded simply. He began to smile a little too, which was slightly visible on his sprite. He... sees your face get a little red.

"I," you start, before covering your face a little. "Wow..." You seemed to be at a loss for words. He.. feels happy about making you look so cute and flustered.

"I uhm, I.. think I'm the same way, but I never told you cuz' I... didn't think you'd feel the same." You avert your eyes. This was news to him.

[ Really? ] He starts. [ That's... so... are.. we...? ] He begins to flub his words, before straightening himself out again. [ ... Are we, uh, dating then? ]

He has no idea how to socialize with people ''normally'', and it shows. You two connected together well due to that, actually. You didn't judge him for it, and he didn't judge you for it.

"I'm not sure how I'll kiss you, but... yea. If you wanna be, I'd be happy to." You smile genuinely at him, face still red as your own heart pounds in excitement... God, you were beautiful to him.

[ I'll find a way. ] Is all he says, which would be Vaguely Ominous in any other situation, but here it just made your heart fill with butterflies. The rest of the day was spent between you two just chatting and conversing, and flirting with each other in mostly cheesy ways. Red even called you some petnames, just to test the waters. Almost all of them made you blush, no matter how cheesy they were. It felt... nice.

_

That night, you dreamt... of him. It wasn't your first dream of him, nor would it be the last, but in every previous dream his figure felt much harder to discern, much foggier as if he didn't want his presence to be known. He'd never speak or do anything other than stare at you.

But this time he looked and felt so real. He looked much older and more tired than he did in his tiny little overworld sprite... but you liked it. He simply walked up to you, and started giving you chaste kisses all over your face. You wondered if this was what his kisses would feel like if he were actually here with you... You blushed with every kiss, returning a few to his cheeks. He smiled, and he looked happy for the first time in a long time. Before you woke up, he hugged you tightly - almost too tightly - until the dream faded away, but the warmth of his hug never faded.

The next morning, you woke up to someone holding you.

[bismuthburnsblue]

ok so!!! i revisited my work from yesterday, going in and properly blocking out the style lines and strap (still up for change as i get into better fabrics but this is a lot more representative of what they would actually look like now!) (though i am noticing ive set my hemline lower- even extending it on nora, when anne's is quite high, so ill have to see how comfortable i feel with that)

i also took a bit out of the hips on the ally pattern which definitely helped with the shape (i was really just being lazy not doing this, ive used this pattern before and had to do that, i knew it was gonna be an issue)

Theres more notes on my personal thoughts on both patterns below the cut :)

same cw's as before for body image stuff :) (maybe this is silly but i just feel far more comfortable putting warnings + a readmore for corsetry)

(also! i will be doing a post properly introducing this project soon :) ive got a lot i want to say!!)

First up! both of these patterns are by Aranea Black, pdfs of these patterns are still available online but her website is gone now)

Ally is a 6 panel corset with extreme hip spring- heres what the pattern looks like:

i do think the hip spring gives a really dramatic shape, but i do worry that with my upholstery weight faux leather, it just wont sit nicely. on this mock up i had to slit my entire seam allowance at the waist to make it not tuck too badly, and that means cutting my boning channel in half (i think, still deciding details like that) i cant really afford to waste fabric recutting panels if i sew it and it does tuck, either.

(Technically i do have the option available to me to do a twin stitch like Anne's original corset actually has, but this wouldnt be traditional, and wasnt in my plan (even if i wasnt gonna have the bones in the leather layer, i like the /look/ of felled channels on the outside.) a twin stitch however would probably negate most the tucking on the waist point, as it opens it up rather than folding to one side.)

Secondly, the one gripe i have about this pattern is that big line of wrinkles below the waist- now some of this will be from the fabric and it not being worn in, but the "daily wear" version of this corset ive made before still has some of these wrinkles even now, especially over the first hip spring panel. i know theres ways to adjust the fitting to counter the ones over the hip, but those i think are largely from the way the fabrics pulling around the curve- its covers such a large area its bound to pull a little weird in places. I really want a smooth look, a clean finish is the most important thing to me, and i worry no matter what i do they will still be there.

I will say, Ally has a lacing gap designed into the pattern, which is something i want, as Anne's corset has one, and it automatically gives you more leeway in the fit that patterns without it just dont have.

Nora on the other hand is 8 panels, with the hip spring spread across a much further space. On paper it looks much less dramatic, but theoretically should still hold a significant amount of shape, just distributed over more panels.

I guess that would be my first area of concern, that the shape just isnt quite as dramatic as the shape on Ally. i really want something quite striking for this project and though pattern modifications can be made, i was hoping to not have to do too much past simples changes.

The 8 panels also means this pattern will likely eat up more fabric. if nothing else, theres 4 extra sides of seam allowance that the other does not have (though, these pieces will nest together better, so it could end up being negligible) it is a concern however, as im working on a very tight yardage.

One of the immediate positives of this pattern however is the lack of that wrinkle band like Ally has. Since this is worn as an outer layer thats a huge point in its favour, a nice clean finish is basically the top of my requirements list.

Nora also has no lacing gap, which is an issue for the reasons mentioned above (annes costume has a lacing gap, but also lacing gaps give more leeway in the fit, allowing you to be a little tighter on some days than others.) Its possible to draft in a lacing gap relatively easily, but it is something i have to consider.

Its completely arbitrary, but i also feel like the way the strap joined onto this pattern was nicer- it lined up better with the pre existing panels and i think it'd join on as a continuous piece better. again, its extremely minor, i just think its cleaner with less fiddling on my end.

I think im still thinking the same way i was yesterday, that Nora is probably the pattern thats working better for me for this, but its still very up in the air for me. i feel like theres more pattern modifications to do there, but that its probably going to be worth doing the work? but i am definitely interested in what anyone else might think!

[conceptalbummultiverse]

I don't remember why I decided, when writing Strange Fascination, to make Rael's brother John a posthumous character. There's no indication in the album's narrative that he's dead. Then again, there's also no indication that he's alive, and as I revisit The Lamb in preparation for my next step of the fic-writing process, I can't help but think that the album's story actually works really well if you view it through the lens of the backstory that I gave Rael in Strange Fascination.

The backstory I made up regarding John and Rael's relationship is thus: John was Rael's younger brother (by about two or three years) who idolized Rael, as younger brothers often do. Between high school and middle school, Rael began to get involved with a gang, and John wanted to get involved too. Being protective of his younger sibling (and knowing full well that John was the darling of the family and was, in Rael's eyes, the favored child), Rael refused to let him know anything about the gang, including their colors/symbols and the neighborhoods in which they hung out. One day, John went off to look for Rael- maybe he needed him for something, or maybe he had decided to go off and prove himself worthy of joining the gang, I don't know. Instead of finding Rael's gang, John ended up in the territory of a rival gang, who happened to see that he was wearing the colors of Rael's gang, and they ended up jumping him, the injuries from which eventually killed him. Up to the events of The Lamb, Rael carries the guilt of John's death with him every day, believing that his choice to keep John uninformed and unaware when it came to gang activities backfired on him and led to his death. (For transparency's sake, I'd like to note that this backstory was inspired by a poem I heard a poet read at an open mic once, and that poem may have been inspired by a real-life event, though I'm not sure (at any rate, I don't think the poet had written it about himself specifically). Just saying that in case it ends up bearing any resemblance to something specific that happened in real life.)

So, let's examine how this backstory fits with the story of The Lamb, starting with the scenes where John makes an appearance on the album. John's first appearance in the song "In the Cage" has Rael noticing him while trapped in the titular cage and calling out to him for help. John, however, ignores Rael's cries and sheds a tear of blood before retreating and leaving Rael alone. This would be a reverse of what had happened in "real/waking life," where Rael wasn't able to help John and blames himself for it. This time, John deliberately refuses to help Rael, as if to say "you didn't help me, so I won't help you. How'd you like a taste of your own medicine?" In that case, the tear of blood, which I've always imagined to stand for the moral torment that John is feeling as he debates saving or leaving his brother, could be a visceral memory of the way John looked when he was found after the gang's attack, with blood on his face. When John leaves Rael behind, Rael refers to him as "my little runaway," which sounds strangely like a term of endearment. He bears no ill will towards John for leaving him, indicating that he believes he deserves to be left behind. This would tie in nicely with the idea that Rael blames himself for John's death- he would see John leaving him behind as fair retribution for his actions that got John killed. He also still feels protective over John, as the tender way that he referred to him suggests.

It's because of that protectiveness that Rael spends the next song chasing desperately after John through the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging. On the other hand, it can also be seen as Rael believing that he's been given a second chance. He wasn't able to save John back then, but now he might be able to, and he isn't going to let ANYTHING stop him. This is why he never gives up in the face of all the insanity going on throughout The Lamb (though I will say, I tend to see Rael as more of a helpless pawn through the story than someone who is actively searching for his brother. He probably is looking for John, in the sense that he wants to find him and is keeping his eyes peeled everywhere he ends up, but I think "The Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging" is the only song in which he's actively running around looking for John. Most of the story is just Rael continuing his travels through the world he's found himself in- if anything, he's searching more for a way out).

When Rael finally reunites with John again, John ones again blows him off by refusing to help him look for... uh... the tube that contains Rael's very own "windscreen wiper." Yes, that's a euphemism. Anyway, I'd just like to say that John isn't necessarily in the wrong here, at least if you look at this story as an allegory. Rael wants to chase after what is in his eyes a symbol of his masculinity, sexuality, and possibly humanity, and John is the one reminding him not to be so selfish and not to focus on worldly trappings when the key to enlightenment is just around the corner. But I'm straying from my point. With Rael's backstory in mind, this would be another example of Rael punishing himself for what he believes he did to John. The John that he dreams up seems ungrateful and has little camaraderie with Rael, because he imagines that John would resent him for getting him killed, and because he thinks he deserves to be treated that way. John even acts the way that Rael might have acted when he refused to explain anything about the gang he was in- "I will not chase a black raven. Down here, you must learn to read and obey the omens. There's disaster where the raven flies." Here John is implying that there's something to be learned here, some sort of code that would keep Rael safe on his journey, but he doesn't share anything and leaves it up to Rael to figure out. Which is exactly how Rael would have treated John. This time, Rael does seem a bit frustrated with John abandoning him- "Even though I never learn, I'd hoped he'd show just some concern." Every time, he expects better treatment from John, forgetting that John hasn't forgiven him for what happened.

The final appearance of John is the most poignant in this interpretation of The Lamb. When Rael has failed to catch the Raven and ends up standing over a ravine into a deep river below, a window opens up above his head. This window shows Rael images of New York City- his home. It's the way out that he's been searching for all this time. However, before Rael can escape "the endless scene," he hears John crying out for help. He's drowning in the river below, and he needs Rael. Now, twice in the story, John has failed to help Rael, and Rael has accepted that. But the fact remains that he still wants his brother alive. He still wants to atone for the worst mistake of his life. So the decision to jump into the river after John is a no-brainer. Rael sacrifices his opportunity to return home in favor of rescuing the person he failed to keep safe all those years ago. At last, he's gotten closure for what happened. And for this act of selflessness, he is rewarded.

When Rael drags John to the shore and sees that it's not John he's saved, but himself, that's symbolic of him believing that rescuing John will redeem him from the guilt he carries. Saving John means saving Rael's soul. He knows now that he's worthy and that he deserves good things, because he got a second chance and put John before himself this time. Whether he's in the right or not about his actions when he was younger being the cause of John's death is up for debate. But in his mind, this is all the catharsis he needs.

[bizarrelovesquare]

tag game! (tagged by @ruztyryan!)

Last song: "Burn" by The Cure (great song by a great band for a great movie, and it fits a ship that I'm currently fixating on, what more could I ask for??)

Favorite color: Green, orange, pink (all preferably neon!) 💚🧡🩷

Currently watching: For the past couple of weeks, I've been watching Avatar: The Last Airbender over and over, both the animated and live-action versions. I'm also revisiting Legend of Korra, which I never thought I'd do again??!

Spicy/savory/sweet: instant reaction is always sweet, but in reality, sweet is only good to me for a few minutes, then I have to taste something else to get rid of the aftertaste XD so I'll go with spicy! I'm notorious for adding an unnecessary amount of spices and hot sauces to everything

Relationship status: single, and I'm cool with it. Relationships sound good in theory, and I've had gfs in the past that were good relationships for who we were at that point in time, but I'm okay if I don't experience that again, or if I do but it's a long time from now. I'm at a point where I really enjoy my independence, and on top of that, I'm so low-maintenace, I don't know if anyone would want a relationship as casual as what I'd be looking for. So I'm just doing my thing, and if someone ends up being a good fit for me, nice, if not, then that's nice too!

Current obsession: Avatar <333 this series was so dear to me ten to twelve years ago, and I honestly hadn't watched it since Legend of Korra ended. I never thought I would become obsessed with it again. I always assumed that if I ever decided to rewatch it, it would be more like "aw that was nice to see again! now I'm going to go about the rest of my day normally" but when the live-action dropped, my family watched it, and they told me that they really enjoyed it, so I watched it with them a few days later, and holy crap, it was so much fun. It sent me straight back into obsession without warning. I'm making my way back through both of the animated series and rewatching comfort episodes over and over, I've reread all the comics (except Imbalance which I don't have, but I'm going to the bookstore after the small con tomorrow. also then there's the big con this summer where I'm planning to meet Dante Basco and Ian Ousley, and that's gonna be FUN!!!!) My heart is so full and so happy, and I feel really peaceful from being back in touch with something that meant so much to younger me. Also of note, Avatar/LOK is how I bonded with one of my best friends in school, and we're meeting up in a month or two for the first time in a decade, and it's cute how that aligned. We've actually been messaging each other our thoughts about the new series! There have been so many little things in my life lately that have been connecting me with my younger selves and reminding me that I'm still me after all these years.

Leaving this as an open tag as well! I never know who wants to be tagged or not XD

[songsforthepierce]

Album Showcase: Boo Hoo - Aurelio Voltaire

When I was a kid I would watch The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy a lot. One episode that stood out to me was Little Rock of Horrors for the catchy song in it. When I was in middle school I decided to look up the song and found it was made by a musician named Voltaire. This then introduced me to the rest of his music.

The album cover is simple yet nice. Just Voltaire playing guitar while singing. In the background is a broken heart which paired with the title “Boo Hoo” I am going make a hunch that this album has some sad backstory.

The album was released on May 14th, 2002. Though before that Voltaire began writing this album after the break up with his then girlfriend. He decided to deal with this pain through a mix of satirical and impious songs with some introspective and sentimental songs. From that most of the album is going to be about heartbreak and trying to move on. With that all in mind I am wondering how the song Brains even fits in on this album. Though from the “most of the album” that means a few songs are not gonna fit the theme.

Before I get into the music I should at least somewhat talk about his name mainly because for years he was known as simply Voltaire and at some point changed it to Aurelio Voltaire. I didn’t notice the name change until last year. He stated on facebook,

"I got tired of there being other people releasing albums as Voltaire. There's an indie band in Germany and some American guy who makes instrumental hip hop. Like, do these people not do a fuckin' Google search before naming their bands? Anyway, it was just easier to distinguish myself from them by using my first name."

All right, I can kind of get why he changed it. This will be an interesting album to partially revisit because I only listened to a few tracks as a teen while the rest are new to me.

Track 1: Future Ex-Girlfriend

I listened to the whole album at work to get a general feel for the album and coming back to write I do remember this track being the most bitter all of them. I know this is about his break up but this feels like this was the first song he wrote for the album. Going on dates with women he is just not going to click with and that they are just gonna break up anyway. I had to remind myself that “this is coming from a personal place and he is just venting” as I was listening. Like the instrumentals do add to the bitterness of the song being a bit slower and sounding sad. That and-

And no one cares you love Keanu Oh, whats the difference anyway? Everybody knows that he's gay Okay, I really don’t know that But lets face it He's too hot to be straight!

As I was working that came and I had to do a double take. I was so confused by this but then I had to remember that this was 2002 and this was during that metrosexual era. For people who either don’t remember or were not around during the time, people would look at men who take the most basic care of themselves (shaved, bathed regularly, dressed nicely etc) and would assume they were gay because...straight men don’t do that I guess or some shit. I think as far as I can tell was doing that but the last like “He’s too hot to be straight”. Like I get that is a joke and I am not one to speculate on the sexuality of real people. However, that line sure does sound pretty gay to me. I know I know, I am joking. But I get this is meant to be petty and comedic song. Anyway, this song is all right I guess. Not my favorite track but eh, a decent start to the album.

Track 2: I’m Sorry

The instrumentals on this are great. I love how noticeable the fiddle is and how that really ties nicely to the sad tune. The theme of this being sorry for so many things from being selfish, to the bad weather, to even being in this person’s life. It brings into mind of how people after a break up or even during it feel like that have to apologize for every little thing. Whether or not it was their fault or not. I do really like this track. What helps is that it is genuine and I do give a lot for artists being vulnerable like this.

Track 3: #1 Fan

When getting into the track at first I thought this would be from the perspective of a fan towards Voltaire but instead how it reads is more like how Voltaire is seeing himself towards a person he likes. That he is this person’s number one fan. Instead of being like “oh they don’t notice me” he instead feels like he is not good enough for this person. Instruments on this song sounds nice I’ll give it that. The lyrics are also fine. It does a good job on getting out those emotions. Sorry I don’t have much more to say. Romance songs are hard for me to say much on but I am trying my best.

Track 4: Where’s The Girl?

Okay so this is the first non-romance oriented song on the album. Well, I think it isn’t about that anyway. Reading the title I at first thought it would be about him looking for the person he felt for. But from the lyrics this reads more like him looking for a woman he once cared for but she was taken by death or some other force. But that’s my view of the song. I the slower pace of the song adds to the more downer thematic of the song. Voltaire was one of the earliest musicians I can remember where I would hear using a fiddle like this and it really shows how versatile that instrument is. Since the fiddle in a lot of the songs I would here were for more energetic songs.

Track 5: See You in Hell

From the title alone I assumed it was gonna be about him telling his ex that he’ll see her in hell. Well, that is in there. But it is mostly about how she put him through misery and how hard he tried in the relationship. I know when I type that this would make people assume the song is super whiny which like I can get why. But it really isn’t. Oddly I do like this track. Sure, I prefer I’m Sorry but this is a close second to it.

Track 6: Bachelor(ette)

This is a cover of Bjork’s Bachelorette. At first I was confused why he chose to cover a song on an album like this but when reading the lyrics for the song it made more sense. The song does tie well with the themes of sorrow and heartbreak. Now how does this song compare to the original? Well the original was about Isobel returning to the city by train to confront the people she loved with love. The beats of the song are like a train which I do think is a cool detail. The original is beautiful. Voltaire’s cover is pretty good to me. While it sadly doesn’t do the whole train effect, it does match the original’s more sorrow tone. Also the ending on both are different. The original ends with...uh lyrics that I have a hard time understanding while Voltaire’s adds the lyrics,

And life is a necklace of tears You undo them with your fear And I am a fountain of fears You fill me with your tears Our love...is a big ball of string Devil collects it with a grin.Our love

Which I think is a nice touch and makes both of them distinct in their own way.

Track 7: Hello, Cruel World

Now this song could be fueled by his break up or it could just in general be about how shitty the world can be. Especially how it feels like the world is out to get him and make his life a hell. I know that is an emotion we all have felt at some point in our life. Complaining on and on. That sort of deal. Though I do like the ending taking a turn of him towards the world like “I ain’t gonna leave.” The spitefulness of having the world deal with him. The song overall is okay.

Track 8: Irresponsible

After seven tracks of sad sounding songs we get a song that instrumentally sounds bouncy and upbeat. But the subject stays in the negative. This time it is about him being a irresponsible person...or him making fun of those who are like that. Lines about “ Is it so wrong if I don't pay my rent?” to “ I don't have time to be politically aware”.

Don't talk to me about the dolphin in the tuna net I'm on the tuna's side. hey, dolphin tastes quite good I bet

Sorry to inform you Voltaire in 2002, dolphin has high levels of mercury and you would probably either get very ill or die from eating it. I personally don’t take this song seriously because it is more of a tongue in-cheek type of song. Especially with the ending. It is an all right song. Not one of my favorite tracks but I tend to be a sucker for songs with tonally clashing lyrics with upbeat sounding instrumentals. Especially ones done well which this song did a good job at.

Track 9: The Vampire Club

Now this track I am pretty familiar with since this along with BRAINS and Graveyard Picnic I had on my old ipod and to my current itunes since I was a teen. The instrumentals are strong on this track making it a fun romp of a song. The song is about these pirates sneaking into the vampire club and the leader of said pirates looking and I quote, “ He looked like a gay Captain Morgan”. Huh, another gay joke. Though more importantly, I genuinely want to know what a gay Captain Morgan looks like. There has to be some fanart somewhere of people drawing a flaming Captain Morgan. If there isn’t, then get to it. Anyway back to the song, this fellow calls out the leader of the vampire club saying his real name and that he is in the 8th grade. After that a whole fight breaks out with injuries from both sides. Though one of the tenants at the bar says this is a regular occurrence. Aftermath results in,

Missie lost her fang in the ladie's room We all laughed and called her Snagletooth Dede was mad because we broke his cane And he flushed his contacts down the drain There was so much angst after the fight Vlad and Akasha broke up that night

 It gets revealed that the vampires aren’t vampires but just some goth kids. Yeah, it is more of a light satire of goth culture though Voltaire is a goth himself so it is more in fun than being mean spirited.

While some rivetheads danced in a puddle of goo That used to be Father You-Know-Who!

Now I never really knew who this line was referring to until looking into the lyrics. The man, now a puddle of slop, is Father Sebastiaan. He is a notable in the goth to vampire subculture for making fake fangs.Which hey that is pretty cool of a reference. The rest of the song does reference other stuff in goth culture at the time such as Bela Lugosi’s Dead and the rivalry the goth and ravers had (even though cybergoth is a thing but some goths do get very gatekeepy about what is and isn’t goth). While this was a fun song to revisit I was surprised to learn that there was a different version that was made. Yeah, so Voltaire made a new version that references...the Twilight franchise. Well, lets see if this is gonna be dated or not.

Vampire Club (Twilight Version) is mostly the same except it is just about Twilight. I kind of knew going in it was gonna be about making fun of Twilight with the whole “Vampires sparkling silly” sort of deal. Those types of jokes were common during the height of the series. Though the line,

Number one rule in this Clan Slay the undead who invade your land

Makes me uh...how do I word this...it weirdly just reminds me of the fact that the series is pretty racist with it’s depictions of native Americans. Though more specifically of the Quileute tribe. How so much information about the tribe was wrong in both the books and movies that the tribe itself had to make corrections on all the misconceptions. Doesn’t help that no one consulted the tribe before the making of either the book or film. I could go on about the more of the racism (such as how Stephenie Myer would push back against hiring more non-white actors for the films), misogyny, the overt Mormonism within the series but then we would get off track. I will say I do prefer the original Vampire Club over this version.

Track 10: BRAINS!

This song still slaps to this day and this is my favorite track on the whole album. Which I know is super bias but I have to be honest. It is just a fun song about a brain eating monster. Voltaire on his youtube channel has made two videos about the song itself and how he made it which I highly recommend checking them out. Though I will say it is super funny and a bit jarring having this track on an album mostly about a break up and this song just pops up.

Track 11: Graveyard Picnic

This was the third track I would listen to from this album as a teen. Not as much as the two above but I remember it being a relaxing track to me. It is a simple song about going to a graveyard and having a nice read. The song has a lot of Edgar Allen Poe references in it which yeah fits with the theme.

Track 12: ...About a Girl

And we’re back to the whole troubled relationship songs. This is about this girl who is cheating on this guy with the narrator (Voltaire). That this girl isn’t worth it and that she is lying or something. This is a weak song for me. Not because it is bad or anything because like I do like the instrumentals on the track. But the subject matter I have heard before and here it is like...been there done that.

Track 13: Let it Go

So after all the songs about heartbreak and grief we are finally at the stage of acceptance and letting go. It’s time to move on and I agree. This song is a nice closure to the album about Voltaire’s feelings of his ex. Well, I would say this would be the closure but we have one more song left. Which I wonder what the last song is gonna be like if we are just done here?

Track 14: Caught a Lite Sneeze

This is a cover of Tori Amos’ Caught a Lite Sneeze. I was not actually expecting a cover of a Tori Amos song in general. Instrumentally this is very different from all the other tracks and makes it stand out a lot. At first I wondered why he chose to cover this song for this album but as I was listening I realized it fit perfectly in this album. The song is about trying to keep a relationship when it is already over. Similar to how Voltaire throughout this album wanted to try to keep his relationship going despite it being done. Now compared to the original while I think Voltaire did a good job I do slightly prefer the original. Though something about Voltaire’s cover caught my eye, he didn’t change the lyrics. At first you might be like “Why would that be weird?” well when you look at the original context of the song with the lyrics such as,

Boys on my left side, boys on my right side Boys in the middle and you're not here

Which in context is talking about how men play a big aspect in her life but her partner is not. That and the pre-chorus after singing,

I need a big loan From the girl zone

That could be read as her taking power within herself as a woman without taking from men. Usually songs that are very gendered like this when covered tend to have lyrics changed. So like when a woman makes a love song about a man for example will be changed to a man singing about a woman when a guy covers it. So it stays pretty heterosexual. However, there are times when the singer just doesn’t change the lyrics at all which can change the reading a lot in a less straight view. I find it interesting Voltaire didn’t change the lyrics at all but I also like that. It oddly makes it distinct from the original for giving a different interpretation as the listener. My only critique on this track is mainly about the placement. This should have been track 13 while Let it Go should have been track 14. Mainly because the cover is about trying to keep a relationship that is done alive while Let it Go is about finally moving on. I just think thematically the two tracks should have switched orders.

Overall I enjoyed this album. I wasn’t sure what the album was gonna be like when before listening and I am glad I got around to it. My favorite tracks are BRAINS!, I’m Sorry, Vampire Club, Graveyard Picnic, Caught a Lite Sneeze, and Bachelor(ette). Not saying the rest of the tracks are bad or anything, they just weren’t my super favorites. I do recommend the album if you are interested in listening to one of Voltaire’s early works.

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today I'm Gonna Play: Mafia II (Original version)

Almost a decade ago I had a period where I was addicted to Grand Theft Auto's formula for some reason. I played IV but didn't have the proper specs to play V, so I looked for similar games. The Mafia series came up and 2 was the latest at the time, so I got it. It definitely fit the bill although at some point I ended up rage quitting early on. This time I've decided to revisit and finish it.

Because this series gets compared to GTA a lot, I had the impression that this would be GTA-levels of open world. In a way, it is. You can drive around, buy clothes, eat at places etc. But the game is divided into chapters because it places story first. There's not much to explore in the city as it is to just get from one place to another. It's not really a bad thing, as other games have done something similar such as No More Heroes (Although I think that game implemented it in a strange way and wouldn't be worse off if it removed the open world). I wouldn't say that the world is boring either for the most part, the first half of the game really sets a nice ambience despite being set in the 40s during World War II. Driving in the freezing cold with the radio on made me feel a type of nostalgia for a time I never lived in. I love it when games do that. The second half shows a revitilization of the States post-war, with the country going through advancements and a time of peace, which is pretty great too.

The gameplay has a bit of variety going on, unlike GTA's usual methods of ''go to location > shoot people > go to location". Although this is present here, there are a number of stealth segments that condemn violence, mundane tasks that regular people would realistically do, and escorts (which is also present in GTA). It's nice to see this kind of formula be done in a different way. Do I prefer it over GTA? I can't say. Maybe with the right budget and polish this could be more interesting. I don't consume a lot of gangster or mafia media, nor do I know too much about their culture and history, so I don't have any suggestions or improvements, other than wondering if there is a game or series that really tries to be accurate and takes upon the opinions of people that actually live the lifestyle, like the Yakuza series for example.

The story is alright. It's a bit more serious and cast is somewhat interesting, mostly the protagonist Vito and his friend Joe. They really remind me of Niko and Roman from GTA IV. War veterans that end up in the US and are helped by someone close who's a bit of a goof, except Joe is way more likely to stand up for himself and make a good living. It even follows the structure of starting from the bottom and climbing the ladder to the top, which I think is the standard formula for this type of story. If I recall correctly, Scarface and The Godfather also have a similar structure.

As for cons, the controls feel quite clunky in the two most important aspects of the core gameplay: Shooting, and driving. Shooting is a lot better if you use keyboard and mouse, but it's not great on controller. I prefer to play most games on controller these days for better sitting posture and playing too close to the screen. But driving is quite bad in both modes. It seems like open-world games have a hard time figuring out the handling part of driving a vehicle. It's like I'm slipping on soap every time I turn. It doesn't help that I end up accidentally bumping into a car which puts me on a chase if the police is nearby. Other culprits that had this issue were games like Watch_Dogs and Cyberpunk. GTA on the other hand is a hit or miss but has managed to grapple with it fairly with IV and V. Games should really prioritize handling if driving is a major aspect of transportation, otherwise it's a huge frustration.

Additionally, sprinting is a nightmare. Not due to poor controls but rather the camera itself which shakes a lot when you run. I'm not sure if this mechanic has been playtested much but even as someone that doesn't really get motion sickness (I can play the Mirror's Edge games without the reticle) but this made me feel woozy every time I used it. There's no way to turn it off, and unfortunately nobody has made a mod of it either. So my only choices was to just look at the minimap or away from the screen to get to where I want to go.

Another frustrating aspect is that the game has no autosave or even manual save. Rather, it has sparse checkpoint saves that are at least guaranteed to occur after a finished chapter. This is frustrating if I have other commitments I need to get to in real life but cannot drop the game, but luckily I've strategized my time well, plus the game's chapters are typically short too. But I still don't like the idea of not having frequent saves, or at least checkpoint saves.

Some of the dialogue is also a bit iffy, although this is wholly subjective. A number of what's depicted and said towards minorities would not be tolerated today. There are a few instances where a game may use hateful language to depict a historical time, such as Red Dead Redemption 2, and this may be the case here too since it's set in an older time period. But I think it was done a bit excessively, as it gave me the impression that the game really liked to make use of slurs a lot, especially towards one ethnic group due to their presence in the story. RDR 2 on the other hand, did use slurs too but it was done sparingly, and also had a number of characters highly discourage hateful behaviour just to be safe. As much as telling an authentic story is important, video games are more interactive as a medium and can therefore be more influential (especially with how people can be online), so it is something to be a little careful of. I also noticed that the collectibles, which involved nude magazine pictures were more for satisfying typically masculine desires. But regardless, I understand that this game was made in a different time, and it's interesting to see fictional media do different takes on social issues which may conflict with my values from time to time. The developers also seem to acknowledge this as a warning message is apparently displayed in the Definitive Edition.

Overall, this game is nice to go through for those interested in gangs in fiction, or want a shorter and more story focused version of GTA. The frustrating gameplay make me hesitant to try any other entry of the series, but maybe I might change my mind in the future.

[nonspaced]

A TALE OF TWO SHEILAS !!!

When I first started playing FF14, it was with my friend Jenn. I made a Xaela lancer, and they made a Miqo'te archer. The game didn't really grab either of us at the time, so our characters barely made it out of Gridania before we stopped playing.

A few months later, my friend Jack expressed interest in giving FF14 a try because it was on sale. We decided to make our OCs that we were roleplaying here on tumblr in FFXIV (Sheila and Atticus) and.... Jack really took a shine to the game, but it still didn't grab me.

My issue was the fact that Sheilas as a general rule cannot do magic (not in the way that magic is often portrayed.... what Sheila has going on is more akin to quantum physics, though the distinction is sometimes tenuous), so she felt really out place in a world where almost everyone uses magic to some degree in their everyday lives.

Since she never felt like she fit into the world of FF14, I lost interest in playing and joked that the reason FF14 Sheila never "felt like a true Sheila" was because she was actually dead, and her corpse had been possessed by an Ascian the whole time.

I later tried to play through the game on two other characters (Shirin and Saoirse) but ARR was such an utter slogfest that I lost interest both times right around the part where you need to rescue Minfilia from Castrum Centri.

Shadowbringers came out later that year, and Jack told me I should give the game another try because the story got REALLY GOOD and included a few key themes that were already present in Sheila's original canon (immortality, alternate timelines, traveling to different realities, etc) ... so I decided to give the game one more try, remade Sheila, and committed myself to reaching Shadowbringers so I could see what all the praise was about.

During my playthrough, I revisited the idea of Sheila being possessed by an Ascian, and I liked the idea enough that I decided to canonize the first Sheila I originally made in FF14. She's known as Alpha Sheila, who lived for an indeterminate period of time during the events of ARR and died executing her very own unique limit break. A curious Ascian who had taken notice of her immortality and incredible potential behind her limit break decided to take up residence in her freshly vacant corpse so he could try to solve the mystery of her abilities and use them to travel to an alternate reality where his civilization remained unsundered.

The current Sheila I play is known as Beta Sheila who has absolutely no idea that there was ever a previous Sheila on the Source. Two Sheilas can't coexist at the same point in time and/or space, nor are any of the Sheilas consciously aware that there are, in fact, Multiple Sheilas out there scattered throughout time & space (essentially one for every fandom I ever wrote in 🤷‍♀️). ... but when it's the corpse of a Sheila being controlled by someone else and therefore Not Sheila... *X-Files theme* 👽

Somewhere out there is the body of the previous Sheila, still inhabited by a very nice Ascian man, although I have no idea what he's up to post-Endwalker...

ALL OF THIS TO SAY I've always been charmed by the idea of characters who knew Alpha Sheila later meeting Beta Sheila and not realizing the Sheila they're speaking to now is an entirely different Sheila. And she'd be freaked out by the fact they recognize her and know things about her, because she would know if she had been here before and met them.

Or maybe they do eventually figure out this Sheila is different than the one they knew and have no idea what to do with this information.

alas, that involves roleplaying, and uhhhh i'm too chickenshit to really put Sheila out there for FF14 rp after what i've experienced here on tumblr orz