#so it could be /worse/ yknow
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#...im like 99.9℅ sure its fine bc its a completely unrelated issue#but i told the doc who does my allergy shots (which are currently paused) that btw i kinda have iron deficiency#i mean i told the tech bc i didnt even see the doc today#bc apparently im still a fan of underplaying my symptoms and stuff#like yeah just a little bit of a deficiency idk if it matters#the tech like: um yeah its important for us to know!#me: well it's kinda heading into like anemia territory-ish#me: *ignoring that i flat out got the anemia diagnosis bc i saw my own results & i theyre borderline & the symptoms atm have gotten better*#so it could be /worse/ yknow#some other doc might not have given me the anemia add on as a diagnosis i think#or is this just me overthinking bc ive been trying to tell docs for 5 months that smth is wrong and everyone is like noooooo#and now they're like: there might be a chronic underlying issue and you gotta keep fighting to figure it out yoyrself#bc getting a gastroskopie appointment is like one of the hardest thinga and i give up#so now i'm the one pretending i'm not sick anymore hahahaha#we'll see#i'm currently just enjoying not being in pain#i have no appetite and im nauesous but thata relatively normal#it's fine#i'm very good at denial#just try me#ignore me#don't interact#i can't deal lmao#a part of me has always wished for this and i have no more energy or way to fight it
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I hope Celia becomes more and more evil and morally questionable. Let her go crazy with the balance thing and kill all her friends in order to provide a stable life for her baby.
I do think it'd be wild if even after trying to sacrifice sam, she still wakes up somewhere in Oxford one day and realizes it was for nothing.
Idk if I'd want her to kill all her friends about it (I don't think murder would be necessary and I do like alice quite a bit) but hey, there's more than just the one way to be morally questionable and if she gets a lil devious with it I think that could be very fun.
#fg's answers#asks#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#like regardless of her plan now she has to lie to alice if she wants to keep her job and yknow. not risk being thrown in the hole as revenge#she's already in a not good spot ethically#i think getting worse about it in some way could be fun#personally im gunning for her trying to fix it somehow and in the end it doesnt matter because she still caused so much damage
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can i interest you in some of my ryuu screenshots.. a bit of a ryuu appreciation post if you will...
his design is so .. simple n kinda basic but he has so much charm,, i'm endlessly charmed by him it's literally so embarrassing... he is just very endearing and cute 👉👈 what a polite young man
and here is me trying to get a clean screenshot of this pose without the dialogue box, a saga:
i'm sad to say that this saga has no real conclusion (yet...) the wind-up animation is long enough for him to start babbling so i'm doubtful i will ever capture the screenshot i want. anyway i love this guy more than i could've ever prepared myself for 😭
#putting myself on blast with this HADSGHASHGghdg#somehow this feels worse than my olly posting ???? help me 😭😭😭😭😭#i wish i had the words to properly express how this mf makes me feel but i simply do not#<- me at olly and now ryuu too😔#WHO LET ME PLAY THIS MF GAME MAN BRING THEM HERE I NEED TO PUNC HTHEM AND THE N KISS THEM ON THE FOREHEAD#the great ace attorney#tgaa#dai gyakuten saiban#dgs#me whenever ryuu is on screen: *points* gayboy *points* tboy *points* gayboy *points* tboy *points* gayboy *points* tboy *points* gayboy *p#ryunosuke naruhodo#i got like 30h so far and like 27 of them are from the past few days 😀#anyawy i finished ch4 and let me tell you i did not see that coming. the post court stuff yknow..#susato is living out her wildest dreams reserved for self indulgent self insert fanfic and i couldnt be happier for her#man i love the character animations so much HAHSfhg theyre so silly and expressive#i saw van zieks clutch his at his heart in todays trial and i could only yell in joy#that one got me real good#n all of natsumes..... impeccable.. hes so ...
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Has there ever been an instance in all of RWBY where diplomacy actually, completely worked out? No violence, no betrayal, just two opposing parties de-escalating through conversation?
#rwde#been seeing takes like 'violence isnt the answer to every conflict and rwby shows that it sometimes makes things worse!!1!'#yet i cant think of a single time anyone has solved smth by simply talking#you could maybe say yang and raven in the v5 finale but lbr that shit was rushed as hell and it shows#not to mention it completely obliterated raven's character. what little of it there was anyway#and that came on the heels of rubys plea and the subsequent fight where weiss almost died so doubt it counts#its so weird to have this argument for a cartoon based on SHONEN anime. yknow. the genre of big fights all the time?#and to aim that argument at the sole in universe minority group fighting against oppressors is... a choice
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Something’s changed
I know why, I don’t know when, I know it was me
I don’t know you anymore but I know you enough to know that
#zombies run#zr sam yao#zombies run fanart#zr#sam yao#runner five#5am#idk i doodled this based off of vibes brewing in my head since months back#season 4 events….#im on season 6 now but oooou my brain didn’t comprehend or brew enough of s4#and s5#like i know what happens and i was there but ALSO.#s4#the aftermath.#idk i like to think five breaks at some point#not literally . but theres a limit there#and i think s4 just took that and gave them that crack#then s5….#its 5 am (HAH) rn im barely coherent#i just know that if u take a person’s home they latch onto another person as their home and source of safety#or comfort#so if you take THAT person it could drive anyone crazy#yknow whats worse#yeah#taking that person and giving them back broken#i guess#idk blah i havent doodled 5am in so long ..#neeks draws
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I have a enemies to lovers-lovers to enemies toxic yuri story with mattel i guess
#ever after high#eah#mattel#seriously i prefer the mattel winx and disney princess dolls#i hate on mattel but there is always worse things#they are bad with quality but they serve face i guess#im not okay thinking about eah again ofc..#i want to collect every eah thing#and i just found about kuu kuu harajuku and now im in love ugh i love dolls#enchantimals still exists and guys tbh i think i need to have its media because its what we still have from eah#like its an spin off and even tho i like mh g3 its like the monster high less related to eah yknow#so enchantimals is literally what was left#there were some things that could be released but werent#like the duchess lets down her hair book#and an apple playset called back to school#as much as i hate the most recent eah dolls this was an okay one#i was looking over the dolls and now i find some of them really pretty lmao#the line book party is all good but the kitty doll is 10/10 seriously i love her#and cedar birthday ball is actually so pretty? i used to hate birthday ball and hated their colorful hairs but i love her now#and these lines mentioned are still with the old facemolds and are fully articulated#i just found out about the eah merch site so im unwell#sorry i have lots of thoughts mattel is probably responsible for all my problems and blessings#the day it was oficially confirmed that eah was cancellef was 08/28/18#the same day the book duchess lets down her hair was supposed to be released#we lost so much dude
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SECOND TO LAST DAY OF SCHOOL….. edit: got so caught up in the excitement that i forgot to also say good morning. good morning!!!!!!
#yknow how i mentioned a bunch of my problems just randomly happened to get solved like. at once last week?#there was ONE PROBLEM left#a single one#which is that i’m fucking out of estrogen AND adhd meds.#but i ordered some online! cuz i was so exhausted and i remembered i could.#compleeeetely forgetting that hey! dawn! you might move out before the meds arrive!!!#and even worse! you might be going to romania before the meds arrive!!!#BUT!!!#i got a notif that they’re on their way and might even arrive today….. SO ITS FINE I THINK#and like aside from that i think that actually for once in my life there’s just a brief lil break…. it’s awesome#sorry this is so rambley i woke up one minute ago#arambles
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#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
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Wilson’s alpha brain feeling happy when house steals his food because he’s “supplying for his omega, keeping his omega happy :)” and Wilson is so embarrassed meanwhile house is truly just stealing if to help a little shit
house loves being a menace above all else, just delights in being a nuisance in any capacity. at most, he gets a thrill for stealing from an alpha where he can be seen and not get reprimanded for it (usually). but he's a little shit so he gets that thrill anyway, it just feels a smidge better when it's against wilson. he gets a kick out of it and they're secure enough with each other to know it's not a big deal. house never gets tired of it.
meanwhile it's a daily struggle for wilson trying to get his hindbrain to shut UP. mgv wilson has a good hold on not letting it show but by god being in his brain at lunchtime is a riot. "happy omega, happy home, happy house = happy wilson" "yesss, he's eating food, real food, not snacks" "an alpha supplies whatever an omega demands <3" and it's so Much sometimes. if he's close to rut he eats less while house is with him because the alpha part of his brain focuses too hard on making sure house eats first/more. he has to force himself to take a few bites though because if he doesn't eat anything at all in house's presence he'll start asking questions
#asks#fxirycxr3#house md#hilson#and it goes without saying that house would figure it out so wilson just tries So Hard to play it cool#it's even worse if house has a case because house will just keep pondering it between labs#and wilson is infinitely more interesting than any single case. the cases just take precedent because yknow. they could die#and it's his job too. but the second that's over he's back to sniffing wilson out#so best case scenario for wilson is to Be So Normal and Hope#mgv
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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I feel like there’s hands trapped in my chest clawing to get out but that’s okay! We stay silly!
#sorry to scream but I have got to just yell for a minute#idk what the hell happened to me but it started a few months ago#every time I’m alone with my thoughts it’s just there. something and it’s itchy!!! metaphorically yknow but#my soul is itchy babes this is concerning#not very concerning I’m pretty certain it has to do with me finally realizing oh maybe I ain’t cis#but I DONT FUCKIN LIKE IT#I know what’s gonna happen. whatever this is it’s gonna gnaw at me for a couple years and then it’ll just hit me like a truck and I’ll be#Changed for the better or worse#same thing happened when I wrestled with the sexuality but it’s so stupid#body stop it. chest stop it. hands!!!! stop scratching and trying to crack me chest open please#I’d like to deal with this Not Right Now I have other real issues that are more pressing#wish I could just open my chest up and grab the lil fucker that’s in there causing a ruckus and squeeze him until his head pops#anyways sorry this is stupid and very venty from me in a way I don’t usually do it#btw I do want to stress I am generally doing great overall! just tired (always haha)#but workouts have been awesome and I’m happy with my progress and I’m workin and doin well#but this has just been driving me crazy lately#lynx talks#sorryyyyy abt all that#anyway
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resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
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I dunno, and I haven't read the Ascendency novels to be clear, so I can’t speak of who he was before his exile - but maybe Thrawn accepting Grand Admiral for that shitshow on Batonn sealed his fate. Maybe he wasn't the one to pull the trigger, maybe he was appalled by the needless death - he still took the promotion, even if he didn't want it. The moment he took the rank plate was the moment the blood on his hands became insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The moment where all his intentions begin to be buried by his actions.
Everyone is all about how Thrawn isn't that bad of a guy - and honestly I do agree that his character is misunderstood more often than not - but he still did terrible things with the Empire. Turned a blind eye and condoned much more with silence.
Because the fall of Nightswan and Batonn may not have been his fault - but he accepted the stain when he took his promotion.
For all you try to keep things fair, it doesn't matter if you're working in a system that is instituted to be cruel. And while Thrawn had never claimed to be a good man, and had only joined ultimately for the protection of his own people, there's something to be said of this deterioration of morality. How he doesn't understand politics, but is still shaped by the dangerous and vindictive workings of Imperial political scene, forgoing honesty for station.
Pirates and smugglers turn to insurgents and rebels. Capture turns to execute. He kills to prove a point.
He develops for the worse. For all he shapes the Imperial Navy, it shapes him all the same. I dunno. Complex character and all o that. He’s no scum of the earth true evil, but he’s no shining star either.
#I have not watched rebels I have not read the ascendency novels yet I am in the middle of alliances right now#so bear with me. baby’s first analysis#*flips off sky* for Arihnda Pryce and her hand in all of this (who’s truly to blame for Batonn)#like listen. he’s a bad guy! but he’s not a bad guy#like yeah. my man is almost court martialed for when he saves innocents over imperial resources#but also he climbs the rank by doing good for the empire. like that’s a net negative#true he may hold loyalty to his people and not the empire. but it’s not about loyalty it’s about morality#you can commit treason to the empire and still not have been a good guy. yknow#i dunno. Thrawn is better than he could be but worse than apologists say I guess is the point.#and maybe there’s something to be said about how this happens once Eli Vanto leaves. his one true friend. i think that’s significant#I’m just thinking ok#like. a good imperial is still an imperial!!!! that’s all#ahsoka better do this motherfucker justice I swear to god#Thrawn#thrawn trilogy#grand admiral thrawn#Star Wars rebels#sw#Star Wars#z speaks
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Feeling very Ascension by Gorillaz ft Vince Staples at 2:18
#i need to solve a puzzle or some shit. god. fuck.#i cant concentrate on anything i cant fall asleep i cant stay asleep i cant stay awake i cant wake up on time#i hate depression 😒 and all the other things wrong with me yknow#i need to do something like. good for me. but its so damn hard to drag myself into doing that too#brain. stop being so foggy. please.#im even like. im eating im drinking water. i could probably like do some sort of exercise but everything makes me so tired.....#like even a walk yknow? i do my shift at work and im at 3% battery. i dont. i dont know what to do man#and i dont even wanna die about it???? im actively NOT suicidal for once#like are you kidding me??? ive been suicidal for like over a decade and for once#my brain is still popping up like have you considered killing yourself? 🤔 but im Genuinely not swayed by it at all#which is weird. and probably good. but now i just feel like. numb#stuck. stagnant. foggy. can we PLEASE cut through this fog and have some meaningful brain functions for a little bit. brain. cmon#i dont wanna die but i *do* wanna sleep for like. three days#i want a week off where i have NOTHIN to do#genuinely nothing to do. chores are done work is on pause i need nothing creeping in at the edges thinkin bout#ohhhhh you should be doing this instead..........youre wasting your time........do a task.....#but i cant i cant do a task. i cant. and its so frustrating and i feel bad about it#id feel much worse about it if my BRAIN wasnt as foggy as fucking SAN FRANCISCO#and i keep trying like. healthy ways of ''feeling something'' like hobbies i like or yummy food#nothin. does fuckin nothin. i get off and it gives me a Little bit of clarity Maybe. like#no wonder bad coping mechanisms happen yknow??? its an absolute fucking miracle i havent taken up smoking#anyway. i need to go to bed. tomorrows gonna be a long day. if you feel so inclined send me mental love or something. im fuckin tired folks.
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ok so reading the article about world state choices. my take on it is that it seems like they’re specifically referencing choices to create the inquisitor, like that’s the “adventurer” in question? it might be on its own page because that’s when you’re also customizing their face and voice. maybe there will be another page for more worldbuilding because i don’t think there will ONLY be three choices that matter in the scope of the game. the well of sorrows absolutely has to come up in a game with morrigan and the inquisitor and the elven gods right??? i hope??? come on
#i also feel like the inquisitor romance feels very trivial in the grand scheme of things but i’m also not a solavellan and.#for better or worse. that’s going to factor into how the game is built huh#there’s some stuff i can see them not touching on because it is so far away. like who is ruling fereldan#but there’s other stuff that feels like it would still be relevant. like whether someone died killing urthemiel or not#bc we KNOW the wardens are curious about that. even if kieran doesn’t show up. the fact that the warden survived could be relevant#bc they’re in contact with weisshaupt and searching for a cure. and also someone might be interred in weisshaupt yknow#idk i feel like i keep mentioning this example but i really do not want another lyrium ghost situation#where they forget some choice was even an option and just carry on like everyone played the same way#i know what i’ve been saying but i’ll still tag this to be safe#datv spoilers#mine
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for everyone concerned about my eyes: ALL TESTS CAME BACK GOOD!!!!! i have good peripheral vision, my eye pressure is good, my eyeballs look good, there's nothing to indicate anything wrong with my eyes (except for the -1.5 prescription but i already had that)
waiting for the appt at the TNE dr on the 26th, and getting an appt for neurology for the incessant headaches!! let's just hope it's this stupid fucking flu and nothing bad!! 🍀
#terrified of the possibility it could be a tumor or a brain bleed or#well anything neurological. absolutely petrified of it. especially since i FEEL like i'm mentally worse yknow?#like i especially notice it in typing in how often i write words wrong :/ and im juet#just terrified it's anything to do with my brain#i also have this pressurised feeling in the back of my head/neck and i dont know but desperately hope it's not related#it just. it feels like an anxious creep? but it's constantly tjere#i have an appt with my gp on monday so 👍👍 hopefully my symptoms lessen by then! i hope it's just the stress getting to me and that my fine#motor skills are not being affected because that's just. well. yeah#i want to look it up but at the same time! we all know what happens then#sjonnie's diary#everyone send well wishes pls? 😭😭😭😭😭
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