#so it COULD hv been an accident

[heymeowmao]

Three times Xiang Liu tried to get Xiaoliu to fall into her arms before she decided fck it, and fall herself.

[gettinshiggywithit]

Yuuji x fem reader

Hogwarts Au

CONGRATS ON THE 300 SJJSJSK

LESGOOOOO Partaaayyyyy

𝔸 ℍ𝕠𝕘𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞

Summary:What life at the greatest wizarding school in all of Britain is like,with the best boyfriend you could ever ask for!

Pairing: Yuuji x Fem!Reader [Hogwarts AU]

Genre: fluff

Event MasterList

He’s definitely a hufflepuff,just gonna put that there~

And so,lets say so are you!

He’s crazy good at defence against the dark arts without even trying…megumi’s kinda pissed

Helps you with your assignments during potions and while he gets yelled at by prof.snape,he still does it.

When it came to flying lessons in first year,buddy fell of like 5 times from different altitudes and STILL somehow survived????

When you laughed he got a little mad but was fine after you gave him a chocolate frog from your parent’s care package~

He first confessed in your second year,and when you said yes was also when you both had your first kiss! (it felt kinda forced and awkward,oh and megumi walked in,saw what was up and walked right back out.zero fucks given.)

Is he in the hufflepuff quidditch team?? YES!. He’s one of the beaters~

Blow’s you kisses when he sees you in the stands.

Gets hit in the head with a bludger right after~

Oh about sukuna? Lets say that he was an ancient spirit yall accidently summoned and he just possessed yuuji?

Dumbledor gets him out and he lives the rest of his unlife terrorizing yuuji and occasionally still possessing him~

When third year rolls around he..um… has no one to ask to sign his hogsmeade letter…so he asks ur mum! And she says sure! (he’s practically family anyway what with how often he stays over and since you’ve been dating since second year)

Oh also I headcannon that he’s a mudblood while youre a half or pureblood.

Your parents love him btw! They don’t rly care abt blood status,they just know that their daughter loves this boy and he loves her. Your dad wasn’t sure about him at first,what with how goofy and awkward he was,but then he saw just how genuine and loving yuuji really was.

Your dad hasn’t told anyone yet but if yuuji asked for your hand in marriage one day,he’d instantly say yes,and your mum is of the same mindset.

Oh btw he earns money tutoring people in Defence Against The Dark Arts and nanami gives him some…

Nanami’s kinda the group’s mum ngl… HE’S LOADED OKAYY

On your first trip to hogsmeade he gets you a butterbeer float and you share it with two straws.

Nobara and megumi are sitting in the booth behind yours with gojo and nanami,and both gojo and nobara are makin kissy faces at you while you aren’t lookin.

You see them and then promptly give yuuji a kiss on the cheek and throw them a smug look after~ (he melts and they gasp and look back at their drinks.{not before gojo gives ya’ll a thumbs up though~})

When megumi,nobara and he get into trouble you go past the detention class to blow him kisses,he blows some back,depending on which professor Is supervising them.

For your O.W.Ls the four of you study together,(and when I say ‘study’,I mean you bitch abt your O.W.Ls and how much you hv to study…megumi studies tho~)

But when push comes to shove you,yuuji and nobara end up cramming and stressing tf out!! (not megumi,he’s in bed at reasonable times because he did his due diligence when he had to~)

Once your O.W.Ls are over you all go to hogsmeade to celebreate!!!

You all pass with mostly Os Es and As; megumi gets all Os!

(don’t tell anyone but sukuna helped him with some of his history of magic questions…)

Overall,regardless of the universe,yuuji is a great boyfriend and he’ll take care of you no matter what!

Tag list(open):- @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 Gettinshiggywithit. Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

[kailoraurelius]

this is probably personal and you can just let this be unanswered.

so here's the questions: how do you know you're a queer when you never had a romantic love experience or know what romantic love feels like ? does shipping a certain wlw fictional couple or having crush on female celebrities counted as queer ? thankyou again, you can not answer this if my question makes you uncomfortable hv a good day :))

I think you just know or you just finally realize it one day, maybe? I just knew and I always have. Hell, I think I was four or five the first time I told someone and I knew before then. I was born without a closet, as my mother likes to say lmfao. And that was long before I ever had romantic relationships. My coming out was more of a funny formality. I just randomly was like, "oh yeah, I'm supposed to tell you I'm gay, Mum" and she said "yeah, I've seen you look at the Pink Power Ranger, I know".

But, on the other side of the coin, I met one of my best friends in college. And he didn't know he was gay. I didn't know at the time, but he'd only ever dated one person in his life and it was a girl. But I knew when I met him and I ended up telling him on accident. We weren't even really friends yet-more like acquaintances through a mutual friend-but we were heading to a class together and took the elevator. And I don't remember what I was talking about but I ended up saying, "but you're gay, you know what that's like" and he stopped me. Told me he wasn't gay. I was surprised and just apologized for assuming. And like two weeks later he came and found me like, "I think I'm gay 👀".

I said, "no shit, Sherlock" and we've been best friends ever since lmfaooooo. So yeah, you can absolutely be queer without having experienced romantic love yet. Or ever! Asexuality and aromantic are part of the spectrum too!

I think having a crush on a female celebrity can totally be a sign you're queer. It could also be that you just REALLY wanna be her, but that is for you to figure out! Or for a random homie to tell you about in an elevator idk lol.

[moondirti]

hi i just found animalic down my dash n holy fuck i have never seen such pretty writing

i'm so baffled n in awe w ur style n vocab n the symbolisms u use, like, it's making my head spin while also like, idk, hypnotizing me or sth?????? i literally don't know, i'm just so speechless by ur writing style u might just get me to start trying to write again bc i've been suffering from my worst block ever fr

ur usage of symbolisms n metaphors and how u describe things is just so like, UGH MY GODDDD—my only comparison to that is like, when painters splatter paint on their canvas messily but in a way that they know exactly what they're doing so it's like a strategic mess but it's not a mess at all it's like something so polished n eloquent or sth i literally don't know i want ur vocabulary so bad bc then maybe i could start to properly describe just how absolutely amazing ur writing style is

anyw i would go on but i think i should stare at the blank page on my notes to force myself to write bc u've inspired me n i may be anonymous but just so yk i will not disappoint u mother i will bring pride n joy and hopefully spawn miggy blurbs—or i could just study anything u've written bc once again u hv inspired me and i need to relearn how to write bc i'm so rusty

but yes so basically i love ur writing style i love miggy n i may be agnostic-ish but i want to seek any one god just to be able to have someone to thank for the miracle that is u n ur talent n the fact that life has led u to write bars on bars of shimmery golden poetry for a hot hunk of fictional irish-mexican man—like u hv no idea how grateful i am to hv found animalic i would like to absorb any body of writing u hv made ever

anyw i think that's it yes um

soz for long ask n if this is a bit annoying🧍‍♂️(ily)

if you pay really close attention, you can hear me sobbing thro the screen

i woke up yesterday, as always, so excited to read everyone's thoughts on the new chapter. and what a delight it was to find this lovely lovely message in my inbox. goodness, anon, you've no idea how happy this made me. i was a mess all day, grinning ear to ear and unable to focus on anything other than your kind words.

fuck, i'm so glad my writing was able to inspire something within you. oftentimes it feels like i'm spewing out barely coherent sentences, isolated on my laptop, so it's such a nice reminder hearing how it goes on to affect people. hardly any of it is intentional, and that should reassure you if anything. humans are so good at making happy accidents. don't let your fear of your work not turning out the way you want hold you back – i believe in you! you can do it! write and surprise yourself, and remember there will always be people supporting you every step of the way

and never EVER apologise for sending long asks<3 nothing means more to me than you guys and i always delight in hearing your thoughts. i hope you're able to start writing again, and perhaps share it with me when you're ready xx

mwah mwah. thank you so much

[hhoneyglasss]

dynasty

notes: hello!! this is my first official post on here, so if anything is wrong, sry abt that lol. i’m gonna be writing for sam/darlin’ a lot more, since i hv more than enough wips for them that i need to finish. anyways, i hope u enjoy!!!

pairings: past romantic relationship with quinn/darlin’, present romantic relationship with sam/darlin’

pov: quinn — third person limited (…i think)

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46343401

!!! TWs {{these begin under the cut}} !!! physical abuse, obsession, & graphic descriptions of extreme violence. please proceed with caution if any of these topics are triggering to u.

Quinn really did love Tank.

He’s just not very good at showing it.

The first time he ever hurt them, it was an accident. He didn’t mean to do it, but it sort of just… happened. He could still remember the way they had dropped to the ground, one of their hands cradling the area he had struck them while the other clung to the tile of the kitchen. They had scrambled backwards, their eyes glossy with new tears that threatened to trickle down their cheeks. Tank had begun to whisper endless apologies, desperate cries falling from their lips as they promised him they’d never do it again.

Hurting them had worked a lot better than he had expected.

But in the next coming years, the effect of it began to wear off. Instead of the fear he had once felt pulsing through their veins while his hands tore at their body, defiance had replaced it. They began to fight back, threatening growls ripping from their throat as they strained to get him off of them.

His breaking point was when they had left him in the middle of the day, not a single clue left behind as to where they had gone. All that was left of them was a half-ripped sticky note stuck haphazardly to the fridge: “I’m done.”

But Quinn wasn’t.

He never is.

And make no mistake, he didn’t just want them— he needed them. He needed them like he needed the human blood coursing through his system. Quinn couldn’t live without them; they were his life force in a way no blood bag ever could be.

That’s why he sliced their little human friend into shreds. That’s why he bit and clawed and slashed at Tank when they finally came to save them. He was simply proving a point— the point that their place in life was at his side and his side only.

He would make sure there was only enough room for him in their life. Quinn loved them so much he’d do whatever he had to to prove it, even if it meant tearing their heart from their chest to make sure no else could have them. He loved them so much he could never think about anything else— not even his own bloodlust overpowered his eternal need for his wolf.

The urge to prove himself to them yet again began to gnaw at him when he found out there was some other man in their picture. Word from the grapevine says that Tank’s got their cards dealt for another vamp from the Solaire Clan.

The grapevine also says that Tank’s been calling him their ‘mate’.

They had never called Quinn that.

Quinn’s gonna kill the grapevine.

The jealousy that ran through him burned like wildfire— he began to drain people without even realizing it, leaving their limp bodies to rot as his only care in the world was getting to this “Sam Collins” and crushing him until he was nothing but dust.

He slowly began to make his way closer and closer to Dahlia, careful not to let too much of the spotlight fall on him. Nothing would stop him from getting back to his wolf— not the Shaw Pack, not the Solaire Clan, not D.U.M.P… nothing.

He’d make sure his point stuck this time around, even if he had to drain all of their heavenly blood from their body to prove it— even if he had to split that skull of theirs to finally get it through their head.

Quinn loves Tank with all of his cruel, wicked heart.

And now, he knows just how to show it.

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Angst hmmmmm

Well Aizawa hv been liked u but he act like he doesn't like u... perhaps makes u think he annoyed by u but in reality its the opposite BUT THEN you save him n nowww he regret muahahahaha

I think I understood this ask right hopefully you like it 😘

To say Aizawa aka eraserhead hated you was an understatement

As far as you could see the man absolutely loathed you

Going back to as far as you could remember back when you first started UA

He always seemed indifferent towards you never say anything to you

Like he didnt care

But that just seemed like his personality

But then there was that tragedy that happened with his friend

And his behavior towards you seemed to really change

Now Aizawa seemed to be repulsed by you

And he seemed to be more aggressive with ignoring you

Or being way to aggressive with you when you had to train together

To everyone else he was normal

But it was like with you he truly hated you

And it just that way for years even after you graduated

When you had to work with him he kept you at a distance

You had no clue what you did to make him feel like this way about you

It was just the way

That is until one day the two of you get teamed up and he ended up getting injured

He as usual seemes annoyed about it

Especially when you have to stop and help him

Present mic for years told Aizawa that he has to stop pushing you away

He knew that his anti social friend pushed you away not because he hated you but because he was completely smitten by you

At first he simply didnt know how to talk to you but then the accident happened with their friend Shirakumo

Aizawa pushed people away afraid he would geg hurt by losing them

Which was why he treated you so mean

But really deep he just wanted to be close to you

"I hate this." He groaned as you sat him down somewhere safe he hated you seeing him weak like this

You always tried to act like his words didnt hurt by they did

"Im sorry you're stuck with me- I know you hate me backup should be here soon." You spat out

Aizawa winched he hated how sour your words were at him but he should expect that

With the words hes spoken to you over the years

But he didnt want you to think that anymore

Maybe it was because of the injuries he had or that you were so close to him that he was thinking Present mic was right

He should tell you the truth

"I dont hate you y/n." He said quietly

You frown

"Its quite the opposite actually..." he told you, "Ive always admired you y/n..."

You taken by suprised but you dont say anything

Aizawa takes that as a signto keep talking "I know ive been shity towards you but I think your amazing and I really like you."

"I have a boyfriend." You say in a matter of fact tone, "and if Im being completely honest im not interested you know with you being a total ass for as long as I've known you."

Aizawa stares at you

He can here the hurt and irritation in you voice and all he can think is you have every right to feel this way

He was stupid to think he had a chance

But instead of saying sorry or I understand

He just rolled his eyes giving you the same response you were used to getting from him

"Forget I ever said anything."

[anextraordinarymuse]

How are you feeling about Nathan and Nathan and Elizabeth right now? Do you feel like the show has destroyed him? Just, how are you feeling about all this—what are your thoughts?

Oh anon, I’m so glad you asked. Buckle up! We’re going for a ride.

I would marry Nathan Grant this instant if 1) I wasn’t already married, and 2) he wasn’t a fictional character. 

Nathan is not even remotely close to being destroyed for me. I love and adore him as much right now as I ever have. I absolutely, wholeheartedly disagree with anyone who says that Nathan was in any way responsible for what happened to Jack, to any degree. That’s just ridiculous. By that same line of thinking, then Jack was responsible for Doug’s death in season 3 or 4 (I can’t remember). I don’t remember anyone pointing fingers at Jack for that series of events. And you know what? By the line of thinking that I’ve seen in regards to Nathan and the secret, then Jack would actually have been more responsible for Doug’s death than Nathan was for Jack’s. Jack declined his orders to go to the Northern Territories. He straight up said “sorry, but no” because Elizabeth wanted him to stay, and he wanted to stay with her. Nathan did no such thing. He made a decision to chase bad guys - which was in line with his job, if not his direct orders - and was disciplined for disobeying orders. That led to Jack being asked to lead the training mission. Not Nathan’s refusal of orders. So ... nope. Jack wasn’t responsible for Doug’s death, and Nathan wasn’t responsible for Jack’s death. Also, depending on who you are and what you believe, it could almost be said that Jack should have died in Doug’s place, and because he didn’t that meant he was going to die in Nathan’s place. There is a macabre sort of symmetry to it: Doug dies in Jack’s place, Jack dies in Nathan’s place. That’s full circle. 

Now, I’m not saying that I believe that. Just pointing it out. I believe that Jack died because of an accident. No one is at fault. It just happened, because sometimes bad things happen. And I understand how difficult it would have been for Nathan to tell Elizabeth that, especially as they got to know one another and he started to fall in love with her. Not telling her doesn’t make him evil or a bad person or whatever - it just makes him human. He knew that it would hurt Elizabeth, and you never want to hurt the people you love. 

I’ve seen various other criticisms of Nathan, of course. I’ve seen some comments saying that he’s too aggressive in his pursuit of Elizabeth, and to that I say that I don’t think I’m watching the same show. Nathan has never been aggressive with Elizabeth in any way. I could literally write a book about that argument, but I won’t, because I still have a lot of other points to cover. 

So, no. I don’t think the show ruined Nathan. I think some people are just ready to hate him for any reason, and if that’s how they feel then ... well, I don’t care, actually. The great thing about fandom is that you get to choose how you engage with it, and I’m not interested in those points of view. Other people’s dislike or outright hatred of Nathan does not dim my love of him one whit. 

As far as Nathan and Elizabeth are concerned, I am tired, but I have absolute faith that they will be together by the end of the season. Nathan is Elizabeth’s “next great love” (words used by Erin Krakow); we’ve always been moving toward their end game, and despite how rocky and painful and awkward the journey has become, that end game hasn’t changed. Here’s a (non-exhaustive) list of reasons why I know that:

Quality of storytelling: Nathan and Elizabeth have the highest quality of storylines both separately and together. Their storylines focus on real and important values such as family, forgiveness, growth, loss, etc. I’ve mentioned this before, but pretty much from their first interaction we are shown that Nathan and Elizabeth are a team. They are united. Elizabeth is the first person to welcome Nathan to HV, and she shares a personal story of her first days in the town and how challenging they were. It’s the first thread that connects them. Also, I should point out that the first time Nathan meets Elizabeth he delivers a measure of relief for her in the form of Jack’s pension. We know that Elizabeth makes money from her teaching, and that her family in Hamilton would probably never let her want for money, but still. Receiving Jack’s pension undoubtedly relieved a financial burden for her (as evidenced by her reaction to seeing the amount). Anyway, the themes of team and unity keep going from there. Elizabeth helps Nathan search for Allie; they have to work together to correct Allie’s behavior and reassure her; Elizabeth distracts Amos Dixon while Nathan is infiltrating the saloon to catch him; etc. These themes are not present in Elizabeth’s relationship with Lucas. All of Lucas’s storylines are impersonal, with the exception of the one with his parents in season 8 and the little bit of backstory we got with the Amos Dixon incident. The work and effort that has gone into telling Nathan’s story, and Nathan and Elizabeth’s story, is absent from Lucas’s plotlines both with and without Elizabeth. Another point: whereas Elizabeth’s first interaction with Nathan ties that first thread of connection between them, her first interaction with Lucas starts them off on the wrong foot: Lucas asks her where her husband is and if he’ll be joining her. Elizabeth immediately walks away from him and Rosie and Lee have to tell Lucas about Jack. 

Depth of interactions: At this point, the lack of any real depth between Lucas and Elizabeth is absolutely intentional. I think it always has been, but now there’s just no question. Almost every interaction between Nathan and Elizabeth has depth. They can’t help it - they’re not really surface level people. Helen Bouchard tells Elizabeth this season that she knows that Elizabeth is a person who feels things deeply, and I think we know by now that Nathan is as well. They bring that level of feeling to their interactions. They argue, they flirt, they talk about the hard things. Pain, loss, distrust, obstacles ... we never see that depth between Lucas and Elizabeth. The one hard thing they talk about is the reveal of Helen’s secret, and it’s important to note that in that interaction Elizabeth calls out Lucas’s comment for what it is: cruel. “What would you know about it?” Uncalled for. This is the only time we really see Elizabeth and Lucas argue, and Lucas doesn’t meet Elizabeth’s depth here. She tells him something meaningful - that maybe Helen had to be the first one to reach out, and that love should be fought for - and Lucas responds with a cruel comment and walks off. That was intentional on the writers’ part. When Nathan and Elizabeth argue they get heated, but they do not attack each other. That’s an important distinction. They’re not trying to hurt each other. Now, I’m sure someone will point out that in Nathan and Elizabeth’s most recent argument about Allie, Elizabeth says “now you’re just being hurtful” when Nathan tells Elizabeth she originally wasn’t invited. Guess what? Cruel and hurtful don’t mean the same thing. Cruel means: willfully causing pain or suffering to others, or feeling no concern about it.” Whereas the definition of hurtful is: “causing distress to someone’s feelings.” I would say there’s a huge difference in those two words. Plus, even though it may have hurt Elizabeth to hear it, what Nathan said was true. It was not an insult, or a petulant remark said in anger. In fact, while Nathan is irritated and kinda snarky, I’d say he’s not really even that angry in the scene where Elizabeth confronts him. They bicker, but he doesn’t lose his temper like he did in the cabin scene in season 7. In fact, in all of the times that Nathan and Elizabeth have argued their disagreements have never been mean spirited or intentionally hurtful. 

But it’s not just that. When Nathan loses his temper in the cabin scene, he says “you both could have died!” When Elizabeth confronts him in the Mountie office the next day, she says “please stop shutting me out!” These are not surface level arguments - they’re not arguing about Elizabeth’s inability to decide what she wants for dinner. (Sorry, had to throw in a joke). They’re arguing over deep concerns: bodily harm, and emotional withdrawal. I find it interesting that Nathan displayed concern about Elizabeth’s physical safety and Elizabeth over his emotional withdrawal, considering that at the end of season 7 and now in season 8 we’re seeing an Elizabeth who is terrified of losing Nathan (physical safety) and a Nathan who has had to weather Elizabeth’s emotional withdrawal. Who’s shutting who out now, Elizabeth? I digress. 

Another thing of note: we’ve never actually heard Nathan tell Elizabeth that she’s beautiful, and we’ve never actually heard Lucas tell her anything but she’s beautiful. Interesting contrast. Nathan says, “You matter to me,” “you’re quite the teacher,” “I’m glad the publisher realized how special you are. He’s not the only one,” and of course, “I love/am in love with you.” Even Nathan’s compliments go beyond surface level. Whereas Lucas tells her she’s beautiful, and that he’s so glad to have her in his life. Again, depth vs. surface level. I do remember that in the first episode of season 7, I believe, when Nathan says that he was never engaged with school Lucas butts in and says “that’s probably because you never had a teacher like Elizabeth.” I tend to disregard this compliment though, because it didn’t feel genuine. Lucas butts in to a conversation that Nathan and Elizabeth are having and then compliments her - it feels like a showboat move. In contrast, all of Nathan’s compliments have been sincere and given in private, without anyone else around. 

I was going to make a separate point for this, but I actually think it belongs here: the depth of Nathan’s gift giving/wooing vs. Lucas’s is also very apparent. Nathan gives her personal, humble gifts: an apple, a hand carved wooden sign with a quote from her favorite poet (which she mentioned once, to someone else), a moment of relief when he offers to hold baby Jack at the christening party. Lucas’s gifts are more grandiose, but impersonal: flowers, fancy dates, etc. The two sweetest things Lucas has done for her, in my opinion, were when he gave her the binoculars to take for the kids on their trip to the woods, and the Virginia Wolff trip. Note, I don’t mean the dinner out of town or the picnic on the way there: I mean the fact that Lucas bought tickets to go see a reading of an author that he didn’t particularly like because he thought Elizabeth would like them. Granted, I didn’t like the way he sprung them on her, but it was still a very thoughtful gesture. 

Wardrobe: Costume and set designers will tell you all the time that they make conscious decisions about who wears what, and when. Nathan and Elizabeth are always dressed in complementary colors. They match, or at least blend well; Lucas and Elizabeth are often mismatched or outright clashing. Elizabeth and Nathan generally dress in lighter colors, whereas Lucas dresses in darker colors. Also worth noting is that we have seen several instances of Nathan and baby Jack being dressed alike, and Allie and Elizabeth being dressed in similar/complementary colors. 

Family Imagery: the amount of family imagery that we are presented with in regards to Nathan, Elizabeth, Allie, and baby Jack is impossible to miss. They pick out and decorate a Christmas tree together in a warmly lit home with a combination of Elizabeth’s decorations and Nathan and Allie’s; even though it doesn’t happen, the first time Nathan asks Elizabeth to dinner they go as a family unit; Elizabeth brings over cupcakes for the sleepover and helps Nathan loosen up by flirting with him in the middle of his kitchen, with an apron on; these are all intimate, family oriented scenes. 

Shows of fear/worry/concern: look at Elizabeth’s face any time Nathan is heading into danger, might be in danger, or just generally might be unsafe in any way. She is visibly distressed every time. She’s also distressed every time Nathan gives her the cold shoulder/tries to back off/resorts to any kind of formality. We’re always shown this moment of fear for her, and usually some kind of scene after that shows us the aftermath. For example: after the fight in the cabin, when they’re back in town it looks like Nathan might be about to apologize and Florence interrupts him and he leaves to find Lee; we get the scene of Elizabeth confronting him the following day. After that confrontation, we get Nathan showing up at night and telling her “you matter to me.” Elizabeth asks Lucas to dance and then sees a crestfallen Nathan leaving the saloon; in the next episode (even though it’s the first episode of the following season) we see Elizabeth purposely approach Nathan in the street with a sweet but awkward comment about Allie’s book report on Queen Victoria. We’ve only seen two real moments of danger for Lucas: the Amos Dixon situation, and the oil derrick explosion. In the Amos Dixon incident, Elizabeth is angry with Lucas for endangering her; in the oil derrick explosion, we actually don’t get a scene addressing that other than the one where Elizabeth stops Helen and tells her that she’s sure Lucas is fine. Interesting differences, I’d say. This also ties into the previous point about the emotional depth that exists between Nathan and Elizabeth, but not Elizabeth and Lucas. Other than the hug, of course, which was a huge display of fear and emotion from Elizabeth, I'd also point you to the scene at the end of 8x01 when Elizabeth is waiting on her porch for Nathan to come home. She can hardly breathe when she sees him ride up. Watch the way she breathes - she inhales so deeply that it makes her collarbones stick out sharply, and her expression is intense. The way she says "you made it home" is so tense and shaky!

The pursuer vs the pursued: This is a huge point, and difference. In the Elizabeth and Lucas relationship, Lucas is the pursuer; in the Nathan and Elizabeth relationship, Elizabeth is the pursuer. Lucas inserts himself in conversations that Elizabeth and Nathan are having, he repeatedly asks her to dinner and surprises her with things (like the Virginia Wolff tickets, and sending her manuscript to his mother, etc). At first, Elizabeth seems hesitant about these things: she turns him down once for dinner, hesitates over the tickets, then finally sits down to dinner with him but won't call it a date. To me, the relationship between Lucas and Elizabeth seems to come about mostly because he wears her down. Elizabeth only really goes to Lucas and opens the door for a relationship after Nathan's profession of love. That certainly makes it seem like she's not so much running to Lucas as she is running away from Nathan. In comparison, we have a whole bunch of examples of Elizabeth being the one to pursue some sort of relationship with Nathan. Not necessarily a romantic one (at least purposely) but every time Nathan tries to leave Elizabeth alone and put distance between them, she closes that gap by figuratively running straight at him. Calling him out for shutting her out, finding excuses to talk to him (like Allie's book report), basically telling him that she went to Union City with Lucas because Nathan wouldn't ask her out. Now, in season 8 I would say that we've taken a fairly hard turn and Nathan has now taken the lead as the pursuer and Elizabeth is the pursued ... which is mostly true. I think one of the key takeaways on this point, and up to this point in the show, is that Elizabeth and Nathan can't help but pursue each other. It's a frustrating game of cat and mouse. But, it's true: even though they're on shaky ground and things are complicated, we still see Elizabeth and Nathan running to each other as much as they run away. Nathan does so in obvious ways, but Elizabeth is more subtle. She sends him that note about missing the parent teacher conference and then they have that conversation in her living room; Elizabeth follows Allie as she barges in on the inquiry and then waits outside with her, and they're together when Nathan emerges; Nathan invites her to the adoption ceremony, they share the moment outside the infirmary, Elizabeth stops him to ask about the stolen car outside the mercantile; Elizabeth and Allie upset each other and Elizabeth runs straight to Nathan. No matter how they have tried not to, it's clear at this point that they will always gravitate to one another. In support, in argument, in misunderstanding, in triumph ... they just keep going for one another.

This, I think, has been the point of having Lucas witness all of these interactions between Nathan and Elizabeth. No matter what they might say or the perception they might try to give off, the truth always comes out - and the truth is that they can't stay away from each other. Even when she tries to hide it, Elizabeth's heart is a compass, and we all know that compasses always point one way (and in her case, the N doesn't mean north).

To that point, I think that there has been a lot of double meaning to the things Elizabeth has said this season. The most recent example: in the last episode when Elizabeth says, "I tried to tell you at Allie's parent teacher conference. You are her rock. You are her foundation. If you let her down, her whole world crumbles." Also, to this point, in the scene where they're in Elizabeth's house, she says, "You will always be the measure of the quality she'll look for in a man as she chooses who to marry." I find the wording of both of these statements both interesting and telling. At this point, I think that Nathan isn't just Allie's rock - he's also Elizabeth's. She trusts him, and depends on him, and holds him in high regard. Nathan has unexpectedly filled a hole in Elizabeth's life: he is her main male support now. She has Bill and Lee, of course, but they don't fill the same spot. Bill is like a father figure, and Lee is her best friend's husband. But Nathan - Nathan is only Elizabeth's. It's a very specific spot he fills, and it's as the leading man in her life. They solve problems together, mentor and parent Allie, address the town's needs, etc. Again - they're a unit, and we're meant to see them as such. Elizabeth's behavior didn't change until after she almost lost Nathan (and then he told her he loved her); she doesn't seem shaken or upset until Nathan does something to make her feel that way. Nathan has become her rock, and she's laid a new foundation with him. Her emotional state is directly tied to Nathan (and Allie, as I think we've now seen). No matter how painful or difficult it is, Nathan and Elizabeth are already bonded (and deeply). A fact that will be highlighted in 8x09 when Elizabeth will choose Nathan's hands in that wedding game, despite the fact that she has never held his hands (but has held Lucas's several times now).

So. This turned into a freaking novel, and I could honestly keep going, but I won't. I will just say, once again, that I love Nathan with my whole heart. I may not agree with his every decision, but I don't expect to. I don't agree with a lot of Elizabeth's decisions, but I still love her too. The writers do have some work to do, however, because they took this further than I expected them to and now they need to work their way out of it. But, even in my most frustrated and tired moments - of which there have been several, and will probably be a few more - I have always known all roads lead to Nathan and Elizabeth. We'll be exhausted by the time we cross the finish line, but we'll get there. Don't lose hope.

[anti-jack-kline]

Ok here’s a genuine opinion I’ve never been brave enough to say: I don’t think dean was wrong to hate jack for what happened with mary.

It happened. Just because it was an accident does not negate that it did. She still died, and it was jack’s doing. Dean had every right to be very upset, especially since it was his mom. And the irony that she died once becuz of lucifer n then a second time becuz of his son, and the only reason dean ended up a hunter was becuz she died.

There was no way in hell he was going to take it well, family or no. And no, neither sam nor cas ever killed a family member so really we dont have a precedent for dean’s forgiveness, and even then I’m pretty sure he’s still angry over charlie. He had the right to be furious especially as it seemed like he was right: jack was dangerous, and for some reason he was the only to remember that being good does not cancel out being a danger

That being said, jack’s entire existence is manipulative. He fed cas visions of a happy dean to ensure that he would be born. Before s13 came out no one was even sure if he would be villain or not becuz the only proof we had of his supposed goodness was him brainwashing cas. And whether fandom likes to admit it or not, cas wouldn’t hv died that night if jack hadnt chosen him to be his protector.

Lastly, i wish fans would quit acting like jack is an actual child. He’s not. He was born with the mental capabilities of an adult. He could think well enough. What he lacked was basic knowledge and experience which was why he came off childlike. Not because he was an actual kid. If he was, he’d barely be able to talk, or think beyond the most basic of reasoning. U know, like an actual 4 yr old.

Okay I think I forgot this ask... I'm so sorry.

No one would take it well if their mother had been killed, no matter if they knew the perpetrator or not. People get upset at others who have injured their loved ones in car accidents even if they do survive. It makes absolute sense that Dean would be angry.

Jack has done nothing but manipulate people from the second he was conceived.

I know it drives me so mad. Why do we have to pretend a guy who's only a year younger than I in real life is a child? He's not. CHildren don't drive, for very good reasons. But him acting like an actual child would have made him creepy (well, obviously creepy) and they clearly didn't want that.

[cvastals]

i brought forrest in like a month n a half ago then panic dropped him bt hes back w a vengeance......... this intro is fully jst copy n pasted from when i originally posted it bt . tosses it out anyway in case anyone hasnt read it before winks n struts into the sunset

* zethphan smith-gneist, demiboy + he/they | you know forrest abbott, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole golden retriever excitement when someone strikes up conversation, paint streaked overalls worn without care, polaroids of places travelled scattered across the wall thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 23rd, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

background.

for 10 years it was just forrest and his mama lydia in their cozy little trailer at lilac ridge, he’s never met his dad who left as soon as he discovered she was pregnant, not really interested in raising a kid with someone who struggled to get by even while working three jobs

from a young age forrest had to take care of himself since his mama worked sm, but he always got the concept that it was for him to live a good life and necessary for them to get by, she rly showed it well by making sure he knew how much she loved him whenever she cld b around :’)

it was around this time that things were starting to look up - his mama met a really nice man named marcel n while things moved really fast for them they seemed to be a perfect match, soon she was engaged and giving birth to triplets and they even moved into his place in aquila drive, everything was coming up roses

unfortunately as soon as things were good they sort of came to an immediate crash - lydia n marcel tried for another bebe before their wedding but she ended up having a miscarriage :( this sort of sent her into a depressive spiral for a really, really long time

it was bad enough that marcel eventually had enough, she wouldn’t take her medication, wouldn’t talk to a therapist, couldn’t even get out of bed, so he said she had to shape up or go back to their place in lilac ridge, and stubborn as she was she packed everything up that night and the 5 of them went back to their little trailer, this time with a lot less room and a lot more responsibility on forrest’s shoulders

since he was about 14 he’s juggled an abundance of jobs to help his family, it was especially hard when they moved back to lilac ridge, he mostly took care of his little brothers and mum when he could but he had school and work on top of it, it rly was the sort of stress no one shld go thru but he did at a rly young age for quite a long time

details.

still lives at lilac ridge w his family, his mum got a pretty well paying job as a psw but it’s still difficult when u have three 12 year olds running around so forrest watches over them a lot while working as a tour guide at the aquarium, selling art pieces at community events, and odd photography jobs, whatever will put money on the table

grew up incredibly shy and pretty anxious, he’s just used to people leaving so it’s hard for him to trust but he’s also a classic golden retriever boy, if people give him an inch he’ll take it right away but he struggles with approaching people himself, definitely wasn’t too popular in school bc of this

did a double major at the community college for photography and visual arts :yum:

he tries not to doo Too many photography jobs cuz he loves it more as his escape than anything, travels around irving a lot to find random locations and will just spend hours taking pictures, u cant see any of the walls in his tiny bedroom theyre jst covered in his own pictures and art

could paint for hours too tbh, does a lot of art classes whenever he has time and money to spare

has never been in a relationship or even with anyone, the most he’s done frankly is casual make outs at parties or wtvr, always kinda chickens out if it ever goes any further……….. has not picked up on the fact that hes a demisexual/demiromantic king<3 probs doesnt even kno what that is LKSHDGKLHSDG

bc of this wtvr friendships hes made hes definitely romanticized, frankly by accident, he can just grow attached quite easily and since hes demiromantic anytime hes ever had a crush on someone its been ppl hes close to n has learned to trust. it confuses him a lot. LKSDHGKLHSDLG

constantly walks around in paint covered clothes.

obsessed w 80s pop its easily his fav genre (taste)

ok i think thts all……….. i hv rn……………….. lks around hands on hips

connections.

childhood friends!!

also ppl who forced their way into his life, basically jst approached him first n as soon as they showed him any sort of kindness n affection he was automatically like . ok we’re attached fr life sis<3

neighbours at lilac ridge?? mayhaps??

ppl at parties who’ve made a move or he’s hooked up w but when it came down to the Nitty Gritty he was like . oh………….. i think my mums calling me……….. i gtg……………………….. jst no explanation. LKSHDGKLHDSGL

i rly lov the idea of him hvin someone he loves to use as his muse……. either fr his art or photography<3

mayb someone who he actually was almost in a relationship w once upon a time bt it jst didnt work out, timing was off or he backed out cuz he felt bad that he probs cldnt give them his full attention w helping his family etc.

coworkers at the aquarium!!

old college classmates/ppl who take art classes w him??

ok i think those r all the ideas i hv rn. we can also brainstorm. lets get wild.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Sick Little Games: Thirty-Three

From a subacute room, sterile, and bare, they shifted you to a regular room. Keeping an eye on both your mental state and the newly erected barriers that served to hold back the primal, animal urges that triggered when you felt sufficient emotional distress. 

Slowly and very steadily, your therapist was making progress, Clint guessed. Well. He hoped, but he didn’t see any difference. You were still depressed, and discussions of returning to the field had been quashed for now.

Steve and Tony both agreed you weren’t fit for the field right now. Too much room for you to have an accident. Too many ways to hurt yourself, and it flies under the radar. And they didn’t like that. The idea that you could think that way. So for now. You were cooling your heels. Ostensibly planning a wedding. But, if you asked Pepper, you were procrastinating.

Pepper looked up from her tablet and looked at the bridal magazines spread over your lap. She’s told you to find things you liked. But none of these were things you liked. 

You liked movies. And books. You liked Clint. And your pets. And spending time with your friends... Somewhere approaching that order. Flowers and cloth napkins and letter boards just made your head hurt. 

“Well?” she said hopefully. 

“All I got is no yellow, Pepper,” you tell her, feeling overwhelmed. 

“Aww, but Yellow is such a happy color!” she protested, “You’d look so pretty in it.”

You shake your head frantically and swallow hard. Just the thought of it. The Butter yellow fabric stained red at the knees from where the skin had broken open left you feeling raw. 

“Okay,” Pepper soothed, “No, yellow... it’s a start. I can work with no yellow.”

Natasha looked up from her own magazine and kissed your cheek, “You like Blue, right? Blue’s a good color. And Clint always looks nice in a blue shirt.”

“It’s not about Clint,” Pepper says, laughing, “No one cares if he looks nice. No one’s really gonna be looking at what he’s wearing.”

“I will,” you say meekly,  “He’s pretty.”

That makes both of them laugh, and Pepper sighs, “Fine,” she grouses, “We can do blue. And maybe a nice tan or antique yellow... Summer is right around the corner. We could do a little wedding on the beach.”

“Or find a nice little woods,” Natasha added, “It can be whatever you want, Y/N. Wherever you want. Clint’s not gonna care as long as he gets to spend the wedding night with you.”

“Can’t we just sign papers and call it a day?” you murmur, looking down at the endless articles about flowers and dresses. Maybe there was something to all the weddings in the Church of Life being the exact fucking same. You didn’t remember anyone feeling sick doing the planning. No one cared. They just all showed up at the appointed time and fucked off when it was done.

“You don’t want a wedding?” Natasha asked a little surprised.

“I want a marriage,” you sigh, “I just- I want him. I guess I just don’t need all the fluff...” She watches your face and Catches Pepper’s eye, quietly mouthing “Cult” over your head as you flip listlessly through pages. 

Pepper’s eyes widen. She never considered that. That you might be overwhelmed by all the details instead of invigorated. “So,” she tried, “What about if you do the ceremony part and we just throw a party after... One with cupcakes and champagne, and we don’t add so much... stuff.”

And for the first time since Pepper plopped the stack of stuff in your lap, you smile, and it’s like the sun coming out. 

_________________

“How’s the wedding planning?” Bruce asks, leaning against the wall, watching Clint spar with Thor. 

“It’s... it’s been hard,” Clint admits.

“Nerves?” Thor asked. 

“No,” Clint said, shaking his head and ducking out of the way, “If I talk to her, she’s... She’s excited about all my plans for the house. And the furbabies having a yard to play in. And having a garden and stuff but... Cult things, you know?”

“Cult things?” Thor asked.

“Her step dad’s ministry,” Clint reminded, “I guess weddings were kinda traumatic... I mean. Everything was traumatic living there.”

“So she’s good with the married part, just not the wedding part?” Bruce said, confused. 

“She has similar feelings about children,” Clint said, nodding, “There’s some weird stuff tied up in her head.”

“It seems so,” Thor said, frowning. He didn’t like the idea that such happy events would cause stress or upset to his Witchling. 

“How are you doing with it?” Bruce asked.

“I Just gotta show up when she tells me to and wear what she says,” Clint said, “Maybe remind her that we can always elope if she wants to so. I’m good.” He smiled, “I’m just happy that she still wants to get married and didn’t talk herself out of it.”

Thor smiled and pulled Clint back to his feet, clapping him on the back. This, he thought, is a good man. Someone properly worthy of his Witchling. Not that he doubted that. But, it was good to know that he was going to keep loving you even when it was hard. 

_________

“How is she?” Peggy asked, passing Steve tea. She’d been worried for you. 

“Still getting married, so far as I know,” Steve said with a sigh, “But her evals are still off. The new barriers are holding, but we have a whole army of therapists working with her, and none of them seem to be doing much.”

Peggy shook her head, “Poor dear,” she said. Last night, she’d dreamt about you. Too scared and too skinny. Strung out on god knows what, blinking in the harsh light like your head hurt. It still made her heart ache. You could have been her granddaughter or a little girl next door. Instead, you were living on the street and helping steal cars. For drugs and maybe some food. 

Steve shrugged, “But she is doing better... And Bucky’s arm healed up, even if they had to break it again to make it set right.”

“How did she do that?”

“Her rings,” Steve answers, “She has one on either hand that’s like... kinetic or something. It takes a little of the energy she uses every time she moves her hands, and stores it.. so when she punched, she let it go.”

“Handy that,” Peggy said sipping her tea. 

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess  it is.”

“It’ll be fine, Steve,” Peggy said softly, “Some time away will probably do Bucky some good.”

“Yeah,” he said again, “I just. I wish this hadn’t happened.”

“If wishes were fishes,” Peggy said shaking her head, “Bucky will be fine. I’m just glad Y/N had the good sense to punch him instead of talking.”

Tags:

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[scribbleb-red]

Hello Ghost (An Afternoon Andreil AU)

After college, the Minyard-Hemmicks sell up in South Carolina and Andrew is signed by the Baltimore Bombers.

He buys a house on the outskirts of Leakin Park, it's pretty grand but he has a vision of inviting his family to stay, one day, perhaps.

The house is also more than a bit run down (which is why Andrew figures it was a good price). 

He starts to fix the place up. New paint. New floors. New windows. 

But then weird stuff starts happening. 

Food he was sure was in the fridge disappears. Stationary and paints will vanish from almost under his nose. Tools go missing only to reappear somewhere else. And clothes too (he is sure he brought his favourite black hoodie with him from SC, and Aaron swears he hasn't got it...). 

He starts to hear noises - not loud, just like shuffling, sliding, sometimes like a door is creaking open.

Andrew has nearly done the ground floor when he thinks he's found the answer - navy paint paw prints - all across his freshly stripped and varnished wood floor. 

He won't lie, they're kind of cute. The creature must have knocked over the feature-wall paint.

But then, one day after practice, he comes home and takes off his headphones and he's sure he can hear humming. Whatever animal the pawprints came from, he's sure most of them won't know Bohemian Rhapsody.

He creeps up the stairs, it's pretty tatty up here still. The only room he's really bothered is his own. There are rooms he's barely opened since he arrived - particularly the one that looks like it once belonged to a kid (the yellow clown wallpaper *has* to come down soon).

The humming is coming from the main bathroom. 

His hand hovers over the handle. 

He presses down. 

The door swings open. 

 He swears he sees a flash of red. Blue eyes in the mirror. 

But when he pushes inside, nothing and no one is there. 

"The actual fuck??" he mutters.

The actual fuck is right. 

Over the next few weeks Andrew becomes increasingly paranoid. Summer has bled into autumn and he is pretty sure he's being haunted. 

There is a ghost in this house. There is a ghost in these walls.

He talks to Aaron who just shrugs and tells him to call an exterminator if he has rats in the walls. Andrew is sure there aren't rats in the walls. That's not what he's hearing. Rats don't have nice tenor voices that hum Queen and Blue Oyster Cult through the piping. 

He talks to Nicky, who freaks out because omg Andrew you have to get out before the ghosts turn violent Andrew, you don't know what kind of ghost it is Andrew, what if you piss it off by accident Andrew. Maybe you can get an exorcist Andrew. Or salt? Isn't salt bad for ghosts?

He calls Kevin, who frowns down the line. 

"Are you okay, Minyard? Not getting rattled now you're in the pros?" 

No, Andrew is not rattled. He's doing fucking great for the Bombers. 

"Then get some sleep and... maybe call Bee?"

Great so Kevin thinks he's mad.

He calls the estate agent last. Though really he should have called them first.

"There's something wrong with this house," he says. "Tell me what's wrong with this house." 

"Oh dear." The estate agent is very anxious. "I'm so sorry, Mr Minyard. I thought everyone knew."

Turns out everyone except him did know. Andrew's grand house that he got for basically pennies was once the home of the Butcher of Baltimore. Andrew missed the memo though, too busy getting his brother clean and surviving the mood-meddling, court-prescribed drugs at the time.

"I'm so very sorry," says the estate agent. "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do now, but I do know a good geomancer who could feng shui the property for you." 

 Andrew slams down the phone. 

 So he has a ghost in his house. 

 Probably a murder ghost too. 

 Fuck.

He decides that if he's going to get rid of his ghost, he's going to have to figure out what exactly the ghost is taking, when and why. He starts keeping track in a little notebook. He quickly notices something even weirder than the missing stuff though.

The ghost takes food - not a huge amount - but enough each week. It's mostly fruit and vege, the occasional protein bar. If Andrew makes smoothies from fruit, the ghost will take some. And sometimes the ghost will make smoothies itself and leave half for Andrew.

The ghost launders any of the clothes it borrows. Not everything is returned. But socks will miraculously reappear. So will tshirts and sometimes jumpers. The black hoodie has not made a reappearance. But his woollen winter jumper does, with the elbow holes freshly darned.

The ghost showers. Andrew has noticed more than once that the bathroom mirror is misted and the towels damp when they shouldn't be.

The ghost leaves red hair behind, long curls of it.

The ghost is probably not a ghost. Or if they are, they're a very very corporeal one.

He decides maybe - just maybe - he could lure the ghost out. 

After a shower one day, he writes on the misted mirror:  HELLO GHOST. 

The next day, the ghost leaves a reply: HI HUMAN. 

 Andrew frowns and scrubs the note away.

He goes out to buy clothes for the ghost - no need for them to nick his favourite stuff if they have their own right? 

He leaves the bag in the bathroom and writes: THE BAG IS FOR YOU. 

The next day he sees: THANK U. 

The day after: CAN I HV A TOOTHBRUSH? 

Andrew buys one, even though the ghost writes like a fuckboi.

When he comes home from a long weekend of away matches, the toothbrush is used and wet. There's a Smiley on the mirror in the the mist. Andrew scowls. And he realises the ghost is near - because there's a shuffle, a sigh & for a second he's sure the shadows behind him move.

Andrew and the Ghost fall into a rhythm. 

Sometimes when the ghost needs something there will be a note on the bathroom mirror. Sometimes when the ghost is thankful, they'll leave homecooked left overs in the fridge for Andrew, presumably made when he's at practice.

Aaron asks him one day if he solved his rat problem. 

"It's a ghost problem,” Andrew tells him. “But yes, something like that."

For Christmas, Andrew goes to visit Nicky and Erik in Germany. 

It's three weeks away and he's so anxious about the flights, he forgets about his little ghost in the walls. 

He packs in a hurry. He turns off the lights. Turns down the heating. Locks the doors.

The holiday itself is good. Nicky is thriving now he's back with his boyfriend and Andrew almost feels bad that he kept Nicky from being this happy for so many years. Almost. Because he wouldn't trade those years with Nicky and Aaron for anything. 

He goes home, content.

As soon as he opens the front door, he knows something is wrong. 

It's freezing cold. So cold his breath is vapours on the air. 

There's a smell too, stale and fetid. Like old fruit. 

And that's when he sees him, the ghost.

The ghost is a boy, but he certainly looks half dead. 

He's sprawled on Andrew's new sofa. He's all bones. Emaciated to a point where he looks childish. His skin is sickly pale. His hair is dank and plastered to his forehead. His eyes are closed.

Andrew drops his bag and the ghost's eyes flutter open, just a slither before closing again. 

The ghost is sick. Incredibly sick.

Andrew calls Aaron. 

"My ghost is sick," is the first thing he says. "He has a fever. I don't know what's wrong with him." 

Aaron doesn't pretend to understand, he just lists off ways to bring down a fever. "I can be there in the morning," he tells Andrew. "Just --"

-- Aaron stops short. He can't tell Andrew to keep a ghost alive can he? 

Andrew does what he can. He lifts his ghost up into his arms, wrinkling his nose at the sweaty, sick smell rolling off him. He's far too light and far too small.

Andrew tucks him into his own bed.

He finds a can of fizzy lemonade and brings it upstairs to the ghost. He's barely stirred but as Andrew cracks open the can, the ghost lets out the tiniest of whimpers and it breaks Andrew's heart.

Carefully, he nudges the ghost awake and helps him to drink some of the lemonade. 

"Bring up his sugar levels. Make sure he has plenty of fluids. Anything cold to bring down his temperature." 

It takes nearly an hour for the ghost to drink the lemonade.

Andrew doesn't sleep that night. Doesn't stop applying cold flannels. Checks his temperature every 30 minutes. 

"You better not become a real ghost, Ghost," he warns the boy in his bed. "I want my fucking hoodie back."

Aaron arrives and it’s a good thing he's just finished his rotation in the ER because Andrew's ghost is a young man with one of the worst cases of pnuemonia he's seen in a while. He calls up a professor and explains why he needs a prescription for a variety of medications.

He's able to get them within the morning and they set Andrew's room up to be a hospital bed minus the bleepity-bloopety machines. 

Andrew finally sleeps when Aaron forces him to - but only for a couple hours before he's back at the ghost's side. 

Two days go by.

Ghost wakes up. 

For all that he looks like he hasn't eaten a full meal in his life, his eyes are the most striking Andrew has ever seen in his life. They are coldest blue, like a winter's sky. 

"Hello Ghost," Andrew says. 

"Hi Human," replies the ghost.

Ghost recovers slowly. He sleeps a lot. Andrew cooks for him. Makes him eat soups and broths and slowly reintroduces solids. 

Turns out when Andrew left, he'd locked Ghost inside with only enough food in the cupboards for a week. 

Ghost managed to make it last 12 days.

But with the heating off, Ghost had shivered his way into sickness. 

Andrew asks him how the hell he's been haunting his house when he's clearly not a ghost. Ghost frowns. 

"The walls," he says. "He built the walls too thick so they could hide escape routes." 

 "The Butcher?"

Ghost nods. He's so pale. Andrew presses because he knows there's a secret here and Ghost finally admits: "He was my father." 

The pieces fall into place as Ghost recovers. His name is actually Nathaniel but every time Andrew uses it, Ghost flinches.

Andrew moves Ghost out of the walls where he used to hide and into the house. 

"Why didn't you leave after your father died?" Andrew asks one day over hot chocolate and coffee. 

They're curled up on the sofa, their feet overlapping but nothing else.

"Because he didn't die," Ghost says. "He was killed." 

And out comes the story of how Ghost lived in the house as his father's prisoner. How he was trapped and how he was punished the few times he tried to escape. 

 There are scars, Andrew has seen them. They make sense now.

"My mother escaped though. With millions that belonged to my father. A couple years ago my father killed her... my uncle came in retribution. He killed my father. I was there."  Ghost's voice is thick and raw. His eyes won't meet Andrew's. "He said he'd come back for me."

"He never came back," Andrew fills in the next line. 

"No." 

"But you stayed." 

"I've barely been outside before. I never... I had rations stored and I figured, it was safe here at least, now he was gone." 

"And then I arrived." 

"Yeah. And it was kinda nice. Being your ghost."

Andrew chest feels warm and full. "You're still my ghost," he says after a minute. 

And it's true. This boy from the walls is going to haunt Andrew forever - and he doesn't even mind.

Andrew learnt to live in increments, one breath at a time, one minute, one hour, one day. He'll teach Ghost to do the same, over years. 

They'll find a human name for Ghost. They'll settle on "Neil", a name untainted by the father who hurt him or the mother who left him.

They'll cook together in the evenings, brushing against each other in whispers.

They'll fall asleep together on sofas and then, later, in their shared bed. 

They'll move house together one day, when Andrew transfers to another team. 

One day Andrew is lying in bed next to Neil, tracing patterns over freckled skin and taut muscles. 

"I meant to ask, what was with the pawprints that time? With the paint on the floor?" 

And Neil looks puzzled, then smiles. "Maybe it really was a ghost."

THE END 

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

[qqueenofhades]

"And when he comes home years later, she cries again because he’s more like Asher than ever, scars littering his body and shadows behind his eyes, a soldier and a man and everything she didn’t want for him." (I'm too lazy to write it but since we're all up in our Feelings tonight...)

Paris, France

August 30, 1997

There have been sirens droning for hours outside, on and on and on, as Maria Tompkins Flynn’s hand shakes where she tries to hold her drafting pencil, to put the final touches on the mechanical engineering plans she is putting together for her guest lectures at the Sorbonne. She tries to concentrate, but she can’t, and finally she throws it down, gets to her feet, and walks out into the dim living room. Picks up the remote and switches on the TV, as if there might be some explanation for all the ruckus outside, just in time to see an aerial photograph of a crumpled black car, a sea of flashing lights, motorcycles and cameras, and a scrolling news ticker. LA PRINCESSE DIANA DANS IN UN ACCIDENT DE VOITURE, the screen reads. CONDITION INCONNUE.

At that, Maria’s breath goes out of her a little, and she has to sit down hard. She hopes the poor woman’s all right – it’s not fair what that family has done to her, driving her out of her homeland and her life like this, hounded at every waking instant, and Maria, who knows a little of being forced into exile, losing everything, unable to go back, cannot help but sympathize. She glances out through the fluttering gauze curtains, then looks down at her shaking hands – she is not that elderly, she is only fifty-two, but age seems to have nothing to do with it. She has been living here since her adopted homeland crumbled into factionalism and war six years ago, and took her son’s heart with it. I have to do this, Mama, he insisted, during the rage and desperation of their fighting, as she gave everything she had trying (and failing) to convince her fifteen-year-old son not to enlist in the army. I have to go. Dad would have wanted it.

(How dare he use his father against her like that, Maria thinks, twisting the wedding ring that has worn a groove into her pale, fragile finger, the ring she has not taken off for ten years. It is a decade so close to the day – September 14, 1987, five days after Garcia’s twelfth birthday – when she kissed her husband for the last time. Asher said that this would be a brief mission, he should be home by Sunday, and then vanished into the ether. The KOS, the Yugoslavian intelligence service – there is no more Yugoslavia, but there are all of its secrets – is still so heavily classified that Maria has never been able to find out where he was sent, what he was doing, or how he met his fate. She and Asher agreed that he would tell their son what his job really was when Garcia was sixteen. Instead, she has been left in limbo, and he still does not know the truth.)

Maria sits down, gets up, wonders if she should turn the television on yet, if Princess Diana is doing better. They must have taken her to the hospital, truly? Her poor sons. They are teenagers, they are not ready to lose their mother. William is fifteen years old, isn’t he? The thought gives Maria a jolt. That is too young, too young to lose a mother, too young to fight, too young to go to war, and it is how old her own son was, when she lost him, in some demented reverse, some funhouse mirror, down the rabbit hole, gone and gone and gone. She has not heard from him in almost six years, since he enlisted in the HV, then sent a jumbled letter about going onto Bosnia. As if one war was not enough, he must find another? He survived one, he runs headlong into the next, and –

The knock, when it comes, almost makes Maria spill her tea. She was not expecting visitors tonight, and she wonders if it is her neighbor, Helene, asking if she has seen the TV. She is not sure whether to answer it, but it seems uncharitable not to, and she makes her way into the front hall, unchaining the deadbolt. The walls and floors in old Paris apartments are very thin; she can often hear every sound from down the hall, and tries to walk quietly. She opens the door an inch. “Oui? Comment vous – ?”

And then, she stops. Because she cannot be seeing right, she is afraid to believe, some part of her thinks it must be a ghost, on this night that feels so thick with bad omens already. Because he’s standing there in the corridor, in a pullover sweater and battered blue jeans, his hair thick and dark and unruly and badly in need of a trim, a healing scrape of some kind on his face and the slightest hint of silver by his temples. He is ten days away from his twenty-second birthday. He looks at her – looks well down, he has his father’s height and bearing and nose and eyes, and for a moment Maria’s heart stopped for an altogether different reason, that faint and foolish hope forever that her lover will come home to her – and says, “Hello, Mama.”

Maria stares at him, stares at her son, her living, breathing son, and discovers that her own breath is shriveled in her throat. She makes only a wheezing sound as if her wind has been knocked out. “Garcia?”

He ducks his head, almost abashed. It’s a boy’s gesture, but nothing else about him looks like a boy, no matter how young he is in years. He carries a dirty duffel bag and his knuckles are battered. He says, “Can I come in?”

Maria steps aside by reflex to admit him into the apartment, too dazed to protest. He moves as if he’s uncomfortable in an enclosed space, glancing up sharply when lights cross the wall as if it might be a sniper’s sight. If he is aware of Princess Diana’s accident, he does not say so. He perches on the couch, Maria goes to make another cup of tea on the stunned thought that one should do that when one’s son appears out of the clear blue sky, returns and hands it to him. Garcia nods his thanks and takes it, sipping tersely. She stands there, staring at him, his bent head, his careful motionlessness. At last she says, “Sarajevo.”

He looks up at her, hearing the recrimination. The decision he made to go to Bosnia even when the war in Croatia was done, rather than come back here, to safety, or even stay in the new republic the people had carved out. He looks apologetic, but not guilty. “I needed to,” he says simply. “It was not over.”

Maria looks at him, that thousand-yard stare in his young eyes, the way his index finger on his right hand curls as if around the ghost of a trigger. To look at your son and know beyond all doubt that he has killed people, possibly more than he can count, makes her want to fall like a leaf on the wind, to curl up, to crumple. Since he was so injudicious as to use Asher against her when he enlisted, she is almost tempted to do it again now. Asher was a very proud Croat, he never forgot that. Yet he was – at least while Tito lived – fiercely loyal to the Yugoslavian experiment, the ideal of a unified Slav utopia, a better country for all the people, no matter their race or religion or ethnicity. But after Tito died in 1980, the economy began to crumble, and the country slowly splintered, Asher grew increasingly disillusioned with the Serb-dominated leadership, became more and more sympathetic to the idea of Croatian independence. Maria cannot think he would ever have agreed to send his teenage son to war, would have done everything to forestall it. But Asher himself joined the KOS at the age of nineteen. She is afraid there is too much wildness in their blood, these beautiful, haunted, passionate Flynn boys who can never stay blind to injustice for long. She is too afraid that her beloved husband would not, if Garcia had insisted upon it, have ultimately said no.

Garcia sips his tea a few moments more. Maria moves to sit next to him, as the sirens and lights continue to go by outside, and she sees a muscle move in his cheek. “Sarajevo,” he says, as if continuing their earlier conversation. “There are rumors that Kosovo is going next.”

At that, Maria feels the tiny bloom of hope that opened inside her begin to crumble into dust. She knows what that means, even as she was somehow clinging to the foolish idea that he had come back to give up the war, to stay. It means he is going back. It means that is the next battle, and he means to be there. What is this? Some brief visit to ensure she sees his face one last time before he runs back like Asher, if he disappears as well, if he –

“You could stay,” Maria says nonetheless. “Here.”

Garcia shakes his head. “I can’t.”

“Three wars, then? Three? You’ve already had the one! That was for your – for our home, and you won it! Then Sarajevo, now Kosovo! Those aren’t even yours! Garcia, you don’t – ”

“Dad would have,” Garcia says stubbornly. “Dad would have understood.”

“Don’t you dare speak about your father like that to me.” Maria’s blood burns hotly in her cheeks, her heart close to smashing. Asher would never have supported the brutalities of the JNA, the Serbian atrocities, even in the name of holding together a Yugoslavia already lost, but she cannot stand to admit to Garcia that he is right. “How dare you even – ”

And with that, before they have ever even said hello to each other, before there has been any recompense for those six lost years, her grief and her frustration and her heartache burns through Maria like a poison, and she does something she instantly regrets, would give anything to take back. She raises her hand and slaps her son, her sweet boy, her child, across the face.

For a moment, Garcia looks stunned, and then as if he might rage. But what he does instead is even worse. His face slowly crumples, his head falls, and his eyes well up with tears. He must have taken all manner of worse punishment in the war, in the wars, and stood them without flinching, but at that, he breaks. He clenches his jaw, as if trying to stop the sob rising out of him, but he fails. His chin quavers, and he lets out a sound that Maria would burn down the whole world never to have heard him make, to never have been the cause of it. “My baby,” she whispers, horrified, thinking he will shove her away, but instead he falls into her arms, his face buried in her shoulder. “Sweetheart, Garcia, Garcia, my baby, no. No, no, no. Sweetheart, no.”

Garcia cries silently for almost five minutes, all the tears he has not shed before, for all the mortar shells and blasted buildings, the dead friends and the butchered civilians, the horrors that have aged him a hundred years already. It shakes and shakes out of him and Maria cries and coos and rocks him in her arms, though he is still twice the size that she is. She kisses his tumbled hair, like she did when he was very small and still prone to climb into his parents’ bed when he had a nightmare, sometimes when his father was there and more often when he was not. Maria rubs his back and cradles his head and kisses his face all over, as he clings to her arm and keeps sobbing in a way he can never do before the others, and she tries to sing him a lullaby, but her own throat is too choked up to manage. Her tears fall thick and fast into his hair. She feels as she did when the officer came to the door and told her in stilted English that he was very sorry, her husband would not be coming home. She wants to fall down and let her bones melt to dust and become one with the earth and sky.

Garcia cries until he is spent, as Maria notes a whitish scar braided on the back of his shoulder and does not ask, as her sore heart hurts even more. Then he rests there without a sound, limp and heavy, a toddler asking to be carried back to bed, and she gets him up – her hands do not shake at all this time – and guides him back to her room and puts him on her bed, and sits by him until he falls asleep, which takes only moments. She looks at the lights of Paris on the face of her sleeping child, the one thing left in the world that she loves, having lost two husbands and a son and two homelands, and wonders if you ever find the way out of it, this huge dark echoing place, this breathless grief. She smoothes a faint furrow out from between his brows. He does not wake.

(Garcia goes to Kosovo.)

(Princess Diana dies.)

[judememories]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: oOoohohOhoh im in love w judas.... ju-Das juda-ah-ah... i rly missed jude tbh so i decided to bring him in as a second. i hv faith i cn manage jugglin i... ...... .. . have faith. in case u dnt kno it is me (nai) n this is like. the one (1) male chara iv ever managed to play longer than jst a few weeks. truly jst Zee Fruit Of My Womb! bt anyway. jst gna leap right in to the intro. we die like men

he pinterest: 

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger's rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying "fuck off" to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

he hd to do community service bc he kind of... hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he... stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like... drivin around the place sort of... tryin nt to cry.....KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw... broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room....... n thts where hes been 2 explain his absence to any of u whose charas had... connections w him Way Back When

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure....... hes always thot he ws straight... fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds... who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

frm this point on i wnt lie iv pasted in his old intro bc. a bich is lazy! a bich is predictable! and a bich! is! unapologetic!

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was bornthey just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work outthey were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plansthey literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a rly successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit, especially kerouac, n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Judepersonality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b. 

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a lot, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam..... my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges along that Dramatic model jawline. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

[celestica-1988]

Little Lion Man

Daniel Webber!Vince x Reader (friendship)

Warning:sensitive topic, cancer

You noticed that man immediately.

Not because he was awesome with his long blonde hair, but because you never saw him before and you knew everyone in that pediatric ward. Sadly that man was a new face and you felt your heart sank, another kid was a victim of the cancer.

You hated cancer, cancer was a bitch to you.

Your son was battling with a brain cancer for two years since now, he was a warrior, he has always been a warrior. His father didn’t want children, so when you got pregnant he forced in any way to make you abort, but you didn’t want to. Your boyfriend was a douchebag, a piece of shit, but you couldn’t bring yourself to hate the little life who was growing inside you.

That made your man so frustrated that when you were in the eighth month he pushed you down the stairs, you were so scared to lose your bean, but he survived. Your ex boyfriend was sent to prison and the day you saw your son’s smile your heart melted.

You loved him at the first sight, unconditionally and with all your heart.

And that child was a blessing, he was always smiling, he was so empathetic with everyone and ready to share his toys that you wanted to cry.

More than one times you thought you didn’t deserve him, he was too pure for this world.

And probably someone up in the sky listened to you and agreed with.

It all started with a series of strong headaches, you brought him to the doctor and then to the hospital, you weren’t ready for the result of the various exams.

At the age of six your little angel had a brain tumor.

You fainted for the shock.

The next days were a blur, when you were in yourself you cursed God, the destiny, the universe.

Now you were calmer, even if you still felt like life made you a big wrong to you, it was once again your son to teach you how to fight. Once the strong emotions were drained out from your body you found the strength to fight along with your little lion man.

You looked at the man, his eyes were red and puffy, there were bags under it. He kept moving his hands restlessly. He needed help.

Everyone needs help the first time they have to face that cancer strikes also children, that is not just a horrible adult disease.

You went to vending machine and took two coffee instead of one.

You wanted to help that man and the first step was to make him talk even just a little bit.

You came back to the chairs there were in the ward and found him right when you left him, for a moment you consider to let it go. Maybe he wanted to stay alone and you will ended up annoying him.

Sighting you walked towards him.

“Do you want some coffee, mister?” He raised his eyes, that man didn’t sleep for days!

“Coffee?”

“You seem to need it. My name is Y/N.” He took the coffee and sipped it a bit.

“Why?” “Why what?” “Why are you giving me coffee?” You sat near him.

“My son is in that room.”

You pointed to the room.

“He has got brain tumor and he’s just eight. I don’t know why you are here, but I guess that one of your children is hospitalized here and if you need someone to talk just call me. I’ll be around here all night.” “Thank you. My name is Vince.” That name rang some bells, but you ignored the,

What if he was famous? It didn’t change the fact that he was a person in need of help.

You headed toward your son’s room and entered, he was reading a book on animals, he loved them: his dream was to be a veterinary once he’s healed.

“Hi, mum! Look at those tigers, aren’t’ they awesome?”

“They are really cool, Y/S/N.” “Today a new kid arrived. She was a girl, she was tired after chemo.”

You stayed silent for another moment, your boy wasn’t the type that spilled soon all the juice.

“She was very pretty, she had blond hair. I think she’s called Skylar. Her parent called her this way.

She was scared, but his father was even more scared then her. A tall man with long blonde hair.” You were sure he was Vince.

“How old was she?” “Just four, mum. It’s not right, ma.”

Tear were about to fall down from your eyes, he was the one ill and even so he was worried about the others.

“Time to go to bed, tiger.

Or tomorrow you won’t be able to fight against the monster.” “Okay, mum.” You fixed the bed, put away the book and then looked at him for a brief moment.

“Goodnight, tiger. Sleep well.” You kissed his forehead, turned off the lights and run out from the camera crying.

You thought you were used to it after two years, but the truth was that you’ll never get used to the view of him attached to HV, tubes and machines.

You walked to the chairs and Vince was still there, you sat near him craving for some human contact.

He stay silent for so long you thought he felt asleep, but at the same time you were grateful for the silence, you felt too upset to talk to everyone.

“How is he?”

He asked after a while.

“My son? He’s strong. Stronger than me, he’s my little lion man.” “Skylar is scared, scared to hell and I’m more scared than her.

I do so much stupid things, usually when she sleeps or he’s doing chemo I ran home and got drunk. I can’t find any better way to cope with this.”

“Talk to me, if you want.” “How old is your son?” “He’s eight, they diagnosed him the disease two years ago.” “Skylar is only four, no one really know if her body is strong enough for the chemo and the rest of the therapies.”

Four years, you thought, this girl was way too young to deal with that shit, she should have been outside playing with children of her age.

You looked at Vince, he felt asleep.

Sighting you went to one of the terrace of the hospital and smoked a cigarette.

You looked at the stars with the usual question on your lips: is it right that children must endure this pain?

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The net day was like the one before.

Your son was in a good mood, he talked about tigers and Skylar all the time, you exchange just a brief greet with Vince.

The night arrived and you sat on one of the chair, your head in  your hands, about to cry.

You talked to the doctors, the cancer was stronger than the chemo or other things they tried, at this rate your son will die and all you could do was watching him dying.

“Need some coffee?” You lifted your head and found Vice looking at you.

“Yes, thank you.” You took  it and drank in silence, you didn’t feel like talking that evening, Vince was also silent.

“Do you think it is a punishment?” Said after a while.

“Do you mean God is punishing them?”

He shook his head.

“No, God is not punishing them is punishing us.” “Vince, I don’t understand.” “I’m not a good person.”

He spatted.

“Some years ago I … I killed a man.” You froze.

“I was driving my car and I was drunk ad hell. One of my friends was sitting next to me, we were back from a liquor store. I was talking nonsense to him and I didn’t see a car. We hit it, I was safe and sound while he died in my arms.

I went to jail, but they gave me a short sentence and it was even shorter because I went in rehab.

I never paid properly for what I’ve done and I’m asking…

I’m asking myself: is this the punishment?

I took a life and now a life is taken away from me?”

You stayed quiet for a while, your parents died in a car accident because of a drunk man, someone you never forgave, but Vince was different.

You could see the pain in his eyes and that didn’t let you hate him.

“My parents died in a car accident because of someone like you, I should hate you but I can’t.

I don’t think cancer is a punishment for something we did wrong in life, I don’t know what it is, I haven’t got any answer. But my son taught me that not of these shit matters, all that we have to do is fight day by day along side with them. For them is enough to know that we are here to hold them when the pain is unbearable.”

You suddenly started to cry and Vince hugged you, you tighted the grip, you want, no, you need someone by your side. Someone who hugged your sadness away.

And that person was  Vince.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since that day you became friends.

You talked every night if Skylar and Y/S/N till you felt asleep. You and your son even met Skylar, the two child became immediately friends.

For a couple of weeks the things were going better and you let yourself indulge in a dangerous illusion: everything will be alright.

Skylar and Y/S/N will defeat cancer, they will come back home, stay friends and maybe one day they will even marry.

That was the moment the tragedy struck.

Skylar was getting bad again, a surgery was necessary. Both Vince and Skylar were scared to death but you and your little lion man managed to comfort them somehow.

Skylar never survived to that surgery, her beautiful blue eyes would never open again, she would never experience the world.

Vince was in pieces and you tried your best to keep him together, but a part of him died with her daughter and after a while he stopped coming in hospital.

Once again you were left alone with your little lion to fight.

This time were different, though. He kept watching a stuffed animal Skylar gave to him and sighed. He barely talked and never laughed anymore since the death of his friends.

His health was declining and you couldn’t stop, it was like he was trying to reach Skylar on the other side, but he couldn’t!

He was so young!

He wanted to be a veterinary!

He was your beloved kid and you didn’t wanna give him to anybody else in the sky.

It was fucking yours!

That evening you noticed that something was different, his pale skin was like translucent, there were a light in him.

“Mum.” He said in a serious tone who didn’t belong to him.

“Mum, whatever will happens remember two things.

I love you to the moon and back.

I’ll be always watching you even though you can’t see me.” You were too shocked to say something.

You read him a fairytale and gave him the goodnight kiss.

The morning after Y/S/N was dead.

It was a nightmare, all you wanted to do was cry and sleep, but people around you made you sign tons of paper and forced you to organize the funeral.

How could a mother do that without getting completely crazy?

You felt on the edge of losing your mind when you finally sat on the chair you used to talk with Vince.

Some minute later someone sat near you, you lifted your head ready to snap the head of whoever was there. You froze when you see Vince.

“I heard, I’m sorry, Y/N.” You didn’t say anything, so he hugged you strongly.

Something in the warmth of Vince’s embrace melted something inside you.

“I’m here, you are not alone.

For them is enough to know that we are here to hold them when the pain is unbearable.

Do you remember?” You nodded.

“So here I am. We will get through this together.

I promise you.” You had no guarantee that he would keep his promise, but you decided to believe.

You felt like Vince was the last gift of Y/S/N so you got lost in his warmth.

You had time to cry after.

[whencallstheheart]

I would love for a bit of actual drama with Rosie and Lee, apart from the baby thing. They have been married the longest on the show and I think Kavan Smith can handle a bit of actual acting! Also Alfonso hinted that some of the characters might be experiencing peril at the hands of other characters - maybe Jesse and Gowen? Nathan and Lucas? I'm intrigued. I can't imagine what sort of job offer Elizabeth is going to get coz whatever it is - she won't leave HV! So it's a big fat red herring.

Apparently Lee has a secret but I couldn’t see it being anything all that major.  What could it be?  They wouldn’t do anything as big as him already having a child or something.  Whatever is thrown at them they’ll do an amazing job with but hopefully it’s worthwhile.  I feel like I say that about everything haha.

It could also be some random bad guy who comes to town and hurts someone.  Either that or it’d have to be an accident.  I couldn’t see any of the characters doing something intentional unless it’s a fight.  But would they really do something like that?  I don’t think Elizabeth would appreciate Nathan and Lucas beating each other up no matter what the reason.

Yeah, all of the drama is usually pretty pointless.  Maybe it’s something with her writing?  We’ll have to see.  I think they’ve teased us with some intriguing stuff and I’m curious to see how it’ll all play out.