#so im stuck being dependant on my parents

[jazasterr]

When you're obviously autistic but undiagnosed and need extra support in order to function in society but in order to get support you need money and in order to get money you need to function in society but in or-

[snekdood]

i feel weird even claiming my family used to be considered "rich" bc a lot of yall immediately jump to having summer homes, 20 yachts, and enough money to save a country

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

[nerdie-faerie]

Why is it that when I'm sick, finishing work late because a load of people didn't show up and ongoing work drama, stressed about my upcoming essay and still have a hour walk before I can get home, my dad is apparently kicking off and threatening to kick me out when I'm not even there??

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

i'd love to see more from the poly reader x poolverine verse im obsessed w them

"I didn't realize your... roommates were home today," Your sister said helping the youngest into his coat.

"It's what happens when you don't call," you caution. "They live here. You want free babysitting, you accept the terms. Sometimes it's kazoos. Sometimes it's roommates." For now, you'd accept her calling them roommates. It was partly true. And it was less rude than what your mother had said. She called them your caretakers.

Sarah narrowed her eyes at you and you shrugged, "They're fed and in one piece. And Zach has part of his social studies paper done. You're welcome."

She watched for a second as her boys willingly accepted hugs and kisses as you ignored her, beseeching them to learn something at school and make good choices and she sighed, "Thanks."

"Call next time," you tell her giving her a meaningful look. You didn't live alone anymore. And if she didn't want her kids exposed to certain things then she needed to give you enough lead time to hide those things... Today she got lucky.

________________

"Shhh," Wade said, holding up a hand, "You hear that?"

"Hear what?" Logan said opening a beer.

"Silence," Wade sighed, sinking on to the couch next to you, handing you a glass of wine. "Holy shit."

"And that's why I like being the cool Aunt," You tell him yawning. "I show up late. I bring presents. I leave before the crying starts. And then I enjoy my nice quiet house."

Logan snorted and reached over to rub your neck as he took your other side and picked up the remote, "Nice little racket, bub."

You take a sip from your glass and stretch, snuggling into Logan's side and putting your feet in Wade's lap, "Not too shabby, boys."

"For roommates," Wade teased, smacking the bottoms of your feet affectionately. "Didn't know roommates fuck like we fuck."

"Sorry-"

Logan grunted and wrapped his arm around you, "Pause was doin' some heavy lifting there."

"Mom... doesn't approve. What dad knows depends on the day. And I think my grandparents would just drop fucking dead. So. There's that." You lean over and lift a sleepy Mary into your lap and stroke her back before resting your head against Logn again. They are who they are and you are who you are. You don't fit in with the cookie cutter perfect family they have and you haven't from the second you took your first breath. But you fit here with a variant and a mercenary and their ugly little rat dog.

"We could ruin Christmas," Wade offered, "Just go make out in front of-"

"Or," you hum, "we can leave well enough alone so I can still hang out with the kids and let them have someone around that's somehow less fucked up even if I'm objectively a mess."

The boys traded a look and Logan kissed the top of your head. They'd work out the specifics later but for now, as long as your sister kept her comments to herself they'd behave- mostly. As long as it meant you got to see the kids. Because it was clear it made you happy, and because; truth be told, it hadn't been too bad today.

Wade cradled one of your feet in his hand and grinned, "I got a question."

"Might have and answer," you tell him, hissing when his thumb hit a tender spot on your instep.

"Why do all the rugrats call you, Shush?"

"My parent's housekeeper calls me Sugar," you answer. "Everyone sort of adopted it and Zach couldn't say it- so it devolved into Shush and stuck."

"Stop it, that's precious," Wade cooed, "I thought they called you that because they were always telling you to shut-"

"Not all of us went to school thinking our first name was Damn it," you snort.

Logan smirked and let go of you long enough to light his cigar. "What'd she call your sister?" he asked.

"Honey. Or Princess if she was being annoying... it's just that neither ever really stuck."

[starreyblueberry]

A user in one of my posts went on a small ramble about how if the OG show was aired now it would have been in the same vein as Amphibia/TOH with it having an emotional and compelling story with bits of comedy in there, and I agree so heavily?? Like truly back in the 2000s we had shown more focus on the comedy/Gag aspect of cartoons, which makes sense since their target audiences were kids of all ages, and at the time, cartoons were seen as just "kids media". It didn't need to be compelling or have a heavy emotional dialogue to it, it just needed to have some slapstick comedy, make a bunch of kids laugh, and one on their way. While today's shows have been so heavily focused on the actual character aspect, the attachment, and the environment (for good reason), it's why the sequel is so good. Yes, it's comedic but we also see so much more of why Hazel is the way she is outside of the comedy, and we see Cosmo and Wanda being proper godparents rather than pseudo-adopted parents to Timmy.

If the show had been made and created today, it would have ended up totally different. What makes Timmy a fascinating main character is the cause of how many flaws he has, and if he stuck to his character development we could really see him actually becoming happier. It's also heavily dependent on how they write Timmy's parents. Will they still write them as neglectful but actually serious, and take the whole fairy godparents adopting Timmy seriously? Showing how family is chosen and how even if you have shitty parents one day you'll find people? Or would they go the hazel route and show them still loving but distant? Im trying to think of the core values of the OG show and tbh one of them is just Timmy and his godparents being closer than his actual parents, and idk how well that would fly in a kid's show if taken seriously.

But I think it would be worth it. There could also be a bittersweet lesson about growing up, or something about Timmy still seeing his Godparents after everything, or hell him becoming a fairy could work out. Im so glad we have Hazel and I think the new show has some of the best writing compared to the OG, especially with Hazel and Dev, I just also think about how Timmy had the misfortune of having horrible writers. He was run dry and the series heavily overstayed its welcome, but if it didn't, if it had actual serious writing, if it was something more analyzing the magic system, and family dynamics, if it was just like the new show, I really think Timmy would have been done amazing, and got the proper ending he deserved :]

[onskepa]

Syawn: Three heads, one face

Helloooooooo! Gosh its been a good while since the last update for this series! But here it is! Another beautiful chapter! Enjoy~!!

Syawn series

----------------------

Tuk, lo’ak and kiri were running like their life depended on it. Each holding a precious cargo. Their hearts pounding, sweat dripping, tired to the bone. They pass their friends and relatives to reach their destination. Only they can know. Yes, only them. 

“Come on! Hurry!” kiri urges her siblings. 

They all climb to a home, trying to get there as fast as possible without dropping their package. 

When they reached inside, the three siblings took a sigh of relief. 

“What are you three doing?” a voice asks them. 

The sully siblings look up to see syawn who was staring down at them. 

“Syawn! We need your help!” tuk practically shouts. Syawn tilts her head. 

“Help on what?” she asks. 

Kiri, lo’ak and tuk help up their cargo. 

“We can't tell who is who!” lo’ak whines as they were holding syawn’s triplet babies. All three smilings and cooed at seeing their mother. 

Neteyam and syawn knew from the start they would have a little problem with their children. Being triplets meant having the same face. And having the same face would confuse people. Confused people will go to them for figure out who is who. The cycle repeats.

“It shouldn't be that hard to see the difference” syawn mutters as she and neteyam bathes their babies. Being their parents, of course they know who is who.

“We are their parents, my love, it is our duty and instinct to know. For others who only see them for a short time, it is difficult” neteyam answers. He gives a light tickle to lu’lafyon who giggles happily.

Syawn puts flower nectar on their hairs gently.

“What if we use different colors for their loin cloths?” she suggests.

Neteyam thinks about it for a moment, “alright, seems like a good idea”.

Usually they would use different shades of purple for their loin clothes, it was easy. Have the triplets match while also making the shades different enough. Neteyam liked it, syawn thought it would be cute.

“Bah!” lu’law was splashing the water joyfully as her brothers copy her.

“You dont think this problem will continue in the years to come, would it?” syawn asks.

“Who knows, but if that were to happen, no doubt these little ones will take full advantage”

If only neteyam knew just how correct he was. 

“Lu’law get back here!” 

���I'm not lu’law, I'm lu'tstunwi!” 

“Lu’lafyon! You too!” 

“But im lu’law!” 

“No you arent! Im lu’law!”

The triplets all snicker mischievously as they hang from the high branches. They look down at their grandparents and aunts and uncles. Their relatives are already annoyed by their antics. 

“Just wait until your parents hear about this!” lo’ak shouts. 

“Don't be a downer uncle loki!” one of the triplets said. 

Tuk was trying her very best to differentiate the three siblings, but its really hard. 

They have the exact same stripes, same features, same height, same voice, down to the same top and loin cloth. Literal copies of three. And the lululu’s abuse that power. 

“Yeah!” the other triplet agrees. 

Neytiri hisses, “I will pull you three from your ears if I have to!” she threatens. 

“How grangran? You have two hands!” one of the triplets stuck their tongue out. 

“Jake! You handle this!” her patience was so low at this point. 

Jake sighed heavily, he was getting way too old for this. “Kids, come on, we played this game a million times over. Dont you ever get tired of playing guess who?” 

The triplets all shook their heads, “its fun grandpa!” 

“Yeah! It never gets old!” 

“Its too much fun!” 

Kiri was pinching the bridge of her nose, “look guys, we really need you to get down. We have the ceremony happening tonight and you three pulling pranks on the people are holding everyone down” she explains. 

The triplets groan in unison, “why do we have to attend?” 

“Yeah! Its got nothing to do with us!” 

“We rather watch the ikrans hatch!” 

“Because we said so” 

The triplets turned their heads to see their father staring down at them. 

“Down, now” 

And obediently they did without any more complaints. 

The rest of the sully family watch the interaction with slight amazement. 

“Sorry, they are starting to get a bit cocky at their game” syawn says as she walks up to her family. 

“OWOWOWOWOWOW!” her children complain as neteyam pulls their tails. Syawn looks at them disapprovingly. 

“We talked about this” she begins with her stern voice. 

“But maaaaaa! We got bored!” 

“Yeah! We only wanted to play!” 

“Yeah! And its boring doing all this stuff” 

Neteyam yanked their tails again, but not too harshly. 

“Boring or not, tonight is very important to everyone. Especially for your grandparents. Now look at them, you have them tangled up in your game and taking their time away from their duties. Same with your aunts and uncle” she lectures. 

The triplets hang their heads low, trying to avoid eye contact. 

“Apologize” neteyam growls a bit. 

“Sorry….” they muttered. Feeling a bit guilty but not really. 

“Say it like you mean it” neteyam scolds. 

“Sorry!” they said again, this time more sincere. Syawn hums in satisfaction. 

“And next time, dont waste people's time”

“Bro….what if, instead of three, there were six of us?” lu’lafyon says out of nowhere. He lays on the grass staring up at the sky with his siblings. Lu’law made a face, trying to imagine it. Lu’tstunwi made a disapproving expression. 

“Six? I can barely share with you two” he remarks, earning two slaps on his head. 

“No but think about it! More of us!” lu’lafyon goes on. 

“Wouldn't that hurt mom? Dad said she was really tired and exhausted when she birthed us” lu’law points out. Her brother hum in thought. 

“True….also our family can barely tolerate us. If there were 6, now that would be a village of its own” lu’tstunwi adds. 

Trying to imagine three more of themselves seemed fun but also hard. What would their life be like? How would they influence each other and those around them? Most of all, how will their parents take care of 6 kids? 

“True….and everyone would be annoyed awhole lot quicker” lu’law says. 

They continue to stare up at the sky, watching ikrans fly around. 

“What if….one of us, or all three of us will also have triplets?” lu’law questions. They havent passed their iknimaya yet, but sometimes they think of what adult life would be like. Watching and observing their parents, grandparents and other adults in the village, it seemed like a lot of fun. 

“Who knows….” lu’tstunwi mutters. 

“But…will the person who we fall in love will want triplets?” this time lu’lafyon questions. 

Tough questions they kept on asking, with answers that may or may not be answered. 

It was sunset, syawn was making a new top as neteyam cleans a bit around their home. He took notice of her craft. Stopping what he was doing, he sits down to join her. 

“Trying for a new look my love?” he asks as he pulls her ino his arms. Syawn shakes her head. 

“No, this is for lu’law” she answers. He looks around to notices something. 

“Just for lu’law?” he wonders. 

“Yes, I was thinking, lu’law is the only girl, so I figured making this top will help in figuring out who is who. And dont worry, I plan to make different loin clothes for out sons as well” syawn answers. 

Neteyam took a moment to understand her reasons. 

Logically speaking, it will help tremendously for everyone to see the difference and finally know which triplet is who. 

But at the same time….

“Do the children know of your idea?” he asks. 

Syawn chuckles a bit nervously, “I was hoping this would be a surprise…” 

Putting her work down, she turns to face her husband, “I know we started this habit of theirs. Matching their clothes, and colors. But I worry that one day someone will say something or people won't take their fun lightly. They are getting older and they will have to find an identity of their own. I figured I would give them a push….tell me net, am I in the wrong?” 

Neteyam strokes his wife’s face, taking in her motherly worry. 

“I say…we let them. Yes it will annoy everyone but remember syawn. They are a walking miracle, they know how unique their life is. If they enjoy being one face, why ruin that? They are still young and exploring life. Lets give them more time” he answers. 

Syawn smiles softly, laying her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. 

“I can always count on you for these choices” 

“Ichi!” 

“Ni!” 

“Kevin!” 

The triplets named their ikrans. 

Jake rolled his eyes so damn hard. Of course they would name their ikrans after that three headed dragon. 

They passed their important stage of their iknimaya. Taming an ikran. Everyone was so proud to see them succeed. Syawn was ready to cry, by either how scared she was or how happy she is. 

“Mom! Dad! We did it!” the triplets cried out in glee. 

“Take your first flight! Go go!” neteyam shouts. Nodding, one by one the siblings take a leap from the cliff with their ikrans. 

For the triplets, it felt amazing. To feel so connected to their new friends. Going high, making sharp angles. A new sense of freedom was felt. 

“C’mon, lets see what we can pull off!” lu’lafyon shouts, already making a steep dive. His siblings following his move. Some tricks were done wonderfully, others in close call. But the final trick, that was going to take some practice. 

“Oh you have got to…” neteyam muttered. High in the sky, coming straight down at them looked like an actual three headed dragon. 

“MOM!! DAD!! LOOK LOOK LOOK!” lu’tstunwi shouts, his and his siblings ikrans were layed on top of one another, not touching but really close. Flying in the same speed as they make an illusion of king ghidorah. 

“They truly are three of a kind” syawn chuckles. Impressed how they managed to pull something like that so quickly. 

“Yes and I feel three separate heart attacks” neteyam mutters as he continues to look at his children. For sure, they will be a force to be reckoned with. 

Here is a looooooooong over due chapter! It was short but sweet! I still wanna add more chapters to this series! What else should I do? Im open for suggestions!

But until then, see ya!

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[yet-another-haven-of-dollya]

i was catching up on your blog, and honestly your, or well, your PCs' opinion abt Sydney is so fascinating to me. when i first played the game for real (after trying to previous times and ending up in the forest being raped by wolves and kidnapped by Eden without knowing wtf was going on, and then my second try ending up in a rape cycle that ended in the asylum) i started pursuing Sydney for the first time, thinking that she'd be like every other goody-two-shoes uninteresting character that is usually a part of dating games, the stereotype that fails to interest me no matter what. then i found out i could corrupt her, and i decided to make her "fall from grace" together with my PC, and the more i interacted w her the more and more i fell in love w her character, to the point that my PC became as obsessed w her as she is with him

Sydney might honestly be my favorite LI, so to find someone who doesn't like them v much is quite the interesting experience lol. i think the part that most called my attention is the privilege part of their character that you brought up, and i think that stuck w me mostly bc i never truly saw Sydney's "privilege" like that. Sydney never gave me the impression that they were completely oblivious to everything and anything wrong that happens in the world just bc it doesn't affect them - quite the opposite, actually

Sydney isnt immune to the world they live in, not a single character in this game is (which is why i love it sm tbh). they might be extremely sheltered and protected as much as Sirris and the temple are able to make them, but when you pray w them in the temple and someone comes by to harass you she knows exactly what is happening and how to stop it. she's probably been harassed by monks and nuns as well, and unable to fight back without losing her grace. that's without even going into the Leighton punishment event, and how they react to it, which i think gives a v good view into how they cope w the world they live in depending on whether they are pure or corrupted and how that affects their interactions w PC...

ok im just rambling now, my point is, Sydney is a very interesting and complex character to me and seeing your interpretation of them was really interesting/insightful, and gave me some answers to things in your PCs' story that i used to question but always forgot to send an ask abt (such as their distaste for Sydney). thanks for reading my ramble, i love the things you're doing w your PCs and how you interpret their world <3

-smthishunting

Just in case you still don't understand the nature of the situation, the "privileged" part can be translated into "ENVY"

Sydney has had good things growing up. PC has nothing of those, which I have mentioned. "Why can they be optimistic? Why can they believe in the good in people? Why their parent doesn't demand they rent every week? Why do they have parents but I and Robin don't? Why can't I and Robin have those things that they have?..."

It's bitter, but I firmly believe, just like a redeemed bully can never achieve true peace, a sheltered child growing up with a silver spoon inside their mouth can never understand poverty and desperation either. Something bad happens to them, but they have family and financial support to overcome it, that's why they can stay pure and stay good. Robin stays ignorant too, they essentially avoid the outside world completely and if PC doesn't step up to protect them, they're ruined. That's what happens with pureness and goodness if they bloom in mud, unprotected. That's what happens on a daily basis with the children of the orphanage.

That's why my PCs are Robin's protectors. I make them taste the bitterness when realizing some things even try as they might, they can never achieve, while Sydney has those things handed to them, lovingly and matter-of-factly, as easily as falling to sleep in a soft fluffy bed. To me, that's what makes them even more protective of their waifu/malewife and more determined to shelter Robin as much as possible. They strive to give Robin what Sydney's having, their childhood together sucks so yeah let's try hard for a better future :D

As for Sydney... Well, unless future updates give them some trauma, throw them into some real fuck up situation like what PC faced daily, or reveal that they had some beef with Harper in the past and had lifelong psychological trauma, I don't think I can give them more credit.

[psychabolition]

im fully willing to abandon all psychiatric labels. how do i describe my experiences (paranoid/delusional under psychiatric models) without them? should i describe my processes of thought as necessary as it comes up instead? how do i accept these as the way i am?

Idk what this entails for * you personally this is just my experience.

When I was in the psych ward they thought I was schizospec in the first 2weeks of staying there and they denied me so much agency... so if youre experience w stigmatization is similiar then what I think is most important is that you are aware that you are the person who ALWAYS knows who you are and what you need best, ALWAYS. even if youre genuinely confused who you are and whats going on then youre STILL the person who knows yourself best and what you need.

a pervasive and defining pattern of institutions is the (mis)use of language (this includes all diagnoses generally and also words like "symptom" and "illness/disorder/dysfunctional") to reframe experiences in a way which shifts blame onto the institutionalized/pathologized person and, crucially, shifts blame away from the institution or any of its actors. this neoliberalism of emotional response conveniently absolves the institution (+ often structural violences in general) of responsibility, destroys the institutionalized person's sense of trust in their own intuition, fosters dependence on the discerning, 'objective' eyes of the institution, protects + obscures abusive practices, and prevents the formation of solidarity + connection among institutionalized people.

Part of getting away from this institutional gaslighting for me was to "avoid the circular, essentialist, and socially violent logic of "well i do x because i have y condition (which was diagnosed based on clinician observations of x)" which made me think that my brain is broken in a way requiring me to submit to expert clinical management and surveillance"! I stopped thinking things like "I'm suicidal because of my depression" or "I hallucinate because of my dissociative disorder" because these descriptive labels (=my diagnoses) cant explain anything, theyre never the CAUSE of anything. This actually made me feel way less "helpless" and all my struggles suddenly made way more sense to me because I actually started to ask myself where they were coming from instead of instantly thinking its my brain/mind thats randomly being dysfunctional. So actually you dont have to accept that "this is just the way you are" - if youre in extreme mental pain then its not your fault and there is a reason and the people around can change and show solidarity and you arent helpless against the bad societal/communal circumstances that youre in rn (like being extremely isolated or not having support or being stuck in a nuclear family situation where youre still property of your parents - just as examples).So what Im saying is, dont accept that this is the way its going to be forever for you - demand societal change.

Then one main thing that I noticed for myself is that when you stop using the psych lingo that you learned via therapy (symptom, cognitive distortion, delusion, depression, anhedonia, ...) and instead "humanize" your experiences (describe how you feel and the context in which you feel this way and all this without mentioning diagnosis or symptom-words or words like healthy/unhealthy or maladaptive, ...) you automatically connect more w people since other people relate to you more and understand you more. Because the process of being given a diagnosis is in itself Othering (especially when its as stigmatizing as schizospec diagnoses are!!) since the people around you think that theyre not qualified to help you and they isolate you by saying things like "you need to go to a professional . I cant help you." But tbh I also additionally talked a lot abt anti psych and psych propaganda w my friends so they stop thinking like that (like for example so they dont look for "warning signs" and dont tell me any patronizing bs anymore or worse, call the cops on me but instead support me and try to understand where Im coming from no matter how crazy I sound to them.).

Also I started to stop using words that dont blame me for my mental distress and depoliticize what I went through in the past (=trauma - ); that make more sense to me and that arent inherently seperating my mind/body/brain from myself.

This is a good example of someone pathologizing their experiences and how the person could depathologize them by "humanizing" them.

I personally like the concept of neurodivergency. Ik that a lot of people use it to simply mean adhd and autism nowadays but it originally meant "everyone who deviates from neuronormativity ( =whats societally deemed normal to think/feel/do based on your assigned gender/age/socioeconomic status/...)". I like this concept bc you can deviate for any reason from the norm and this norm deviancy can develop out of awful experiences but also really good experiences or a newly developed political consciousness that critiques the status quo. People who are neurodivergent arent only people who fit a criteria for a DSM or ICD diagnosis anymore, theyre just anyone who differs from the norm in thinking/feeling/acting. This way "neurodivergency" also includes people who suffer more severely than others under the current societal hierarchies (=patriarchy, isolation /living conditions under capitalism, police, legal justice system, psychiatry as an institution, amatonormativity ... ).

also for me personally depathologization of my experiences literally included coming out as queer lol. My queerness was pathologized via personality disorder labels by telling me Im confused about my identity and that my disorders are actually causing this norm deviancy. Which is really dumb when you think about it because my personality is obviously "causing" my queerness lol - all I am is my personality! I basically suffered conversion therapy as sb whos asexual and agender which I thought was helpful back then bc I was suffering under heteronormativity/amatonormativity/allonormativity/ generally under the gender class system and thought that its somehow my fault bc I wasnt able to see these norms being reinforced in my social surroundings and in general society. This is why I like the concept of seeing neurodivergency as queer and queerness as neurodivergent (=its called neuroqueer lol). This post explains it - maybe this is also relevant to you without knowing it. I also didnt realize at the time that this is what they were doing to me.

also I personally started to stop seperating my experiences by my different diagnoses (aspd, dissociative disorder,depression, drug addiction) and view myself and my experiences as more whole and connected .I also dont seperate myself from other people who are labelled as mentally ill anymore (or people who dont have a label like this )- I think the most helpful thing for me would be to find language with other people who are labelled as mentally ill that transgresses diagnoses. Bc we ARE all experiencing very similiar things we just think we dont bc we call it by different psych lingo -names but i guess this new language can only develop with an actual Mad Community . Similar to how the feminist movements created words like "patriarchy, pink tax, male gaze, ...".

Also "Unmasking" similiar to how people who are labelled as on the autism spectrum might be a cool way to feel more comfortable w yourself and connect more authentically with others. (just google it theres lots on the subject, you'll be able to come up with what this would mean for yourself easily.) To me, when others around me accepted me as I am it was also easy to accept myself. I couldve never done this alone in my room just by idk "thinking more positive thoughts about myself" or whatever psychs always tell us to do.

One thing I tended to do when I first tried to get away from the psych labels was calling everything I struggle with "caused by Trauma" and tbh 1)not true and 2) this is the same framework of thinking as the biomedical model (=which says that mental health is no different from physical health) since it also makes all my struggles into an "inner mental health problem" that I need to solve alone for myself and that I personally am responsible for recovering from at fault for suffering from.

Also one last thing that just came to mind: I think a new interpretation of your experiences might include a more communal and whole perspective. For example I call myself an anarchist instead of calling myself aspd/sociopath nowadays. This gives me a new "social role" , a new perspective on relationships to others and some experiences that I called "symptoms" before are not only not reframed but not included in this new identity of mine. Another example is a woman I visited a while ago and everyone called her "the seeing woman" ,shes someone that people go to because she has a very unique perspective on things . I was told she can see the future but idk about that haha .But shes definitely also "neurodivergent" ,if you want to call her that .

This is literally everything that just came to my mind! its everything Ive personally done to reject the pathologization from psychology. What i think is that we can only achieve liberation with another and through each other and that if we're able to imagine it together then a new world and a future where we all have a place in is definitely possible .

[enchantedsword]

more about the warriors is times mother au, since i cant decide which version i wanna do and it does change slightly depending who the other parent is im gonna put a little of both here

before i start just to clarify a bit and if this part doesnt make sense feel free to ask cause it makes sense to me but i know it wont to everyone, but i think do to some magic inclination/being able to like feel peoples energies, warriors can figure out that time is mask due to that and in turn with that when his son is actually born and he can sense the same energy as mask, he knows, and lana knows he knows, but also knows she has to preserve the timelines, and has to take the baby anyway, which she does when hes only a few hours old. this will be a very bad point once the memories come back, but yeah lana know exactly who mask/time is the entire time and fears anyone else figuring it out. also the way warrios get his memories backnis very similar to wilds so theres unfortunately enough time for lana to realize whats happening before he can snap out of it and say anything

Micah version; in this one i fudge my own timeline a bit and instead of him dying innthe valley of seers, he instead dies in that final battle with ganon, baby time is born a few months after that so mask and the others are already back in thier own times, and when lana takes him and erases the memories she also takes the memories of micah, lana doesnt put a block on the memories at first but and for the sake of this au warriors is last to join the chain and time got his height and some of his facial features from micah, and seeing this causes the memories to come back, that is what has lana make the decision to put a block on warriors, shes thankful she decided to show up that day to be able to do so, she also puts a block on artemis and impa just in case

cia version: unfortunately this one happens in middle of the war after warriors is rescued from her, hes already a few months along, but with glamour magic/items its easy to hide(even from mask and tune so he doesnt worry them), and with the stress and diet hes on during the war he barely shows even without the glamour, in this one he does figure out mask is his child, a sort of "oh" moment one night when he realized mask and his unborn child have the same energies/magic signatures, something that obviously worries him cause why the hell is his kid going through this, but he doesnt tell mask, doesnt want to cause mask that kind of turmoil about how he came to be, mask would absolutely blame himself for causing more suffering and warriors knows that. when its time for the baby to actually come(warriors is honestly to good at hiding discomfort/pain), warriors, artemis and impa go on a "scouting mission", they actually just go to a safe house thats hidden away from both enemies and thier own camp. again like version 1 warriors only gets a few hours with his son before lana takes him away and takes thier memories. this time however the memories get triggered multiple times just because hes around mask an the regular, she doesnt put the block on yet because shes in the same camp and can easily take them away again, she doesnt put the block in place until that first night the chain shows up, time does vaguely remember warriors going "blank" sometimes during the war and that lana was always conveniently the adult that was close by when it happened, but he never could figure out what it was, though he did start to have suspicions when he first sees wild fall into a memory, even if hes not sure why warriors would have a similar issue.

i wanna write for this so bad honestly, because all the angst potential and i already have a confrontation scene stuck in my head and it kinda hurts and its like the only scene i got, but again im not sure what one i like more and its not like i can write the same story twice

[noxiatoxia]

Can you give komahina (toxic yaoi?) headcanons

lemme see here. this is hard bc i dont necessairly have ~komahina~ headcanons i just have headcanons for komaeda and hajime it really has nothing to do with them as a ship;. but uh

ok so here's one. long winded. but i think from what we can gather about hajime he was a bit of a loner child. his parents didnt seem to gaf abt him. so i think he does get attached to people easy. tbh sdr2 was like a miracle scenario in some ways bc there's this guy who has little to no friends (be he never goes out of his way to make them) and then hes stuck with 15 other people his age and he's like i guess i'll talk to them what else can i do....and turns out everyone desires him carnally. tbf he's able to match ppl's freak and he's just good at listening (or pretending to listen) so this makes him popular. so its like ohhh ok we're friends now. hajime is that kind of guy who if he talks to someone once he calls them his friend. but like everyone IS actually his friend. anyways i think if hajime goes a long time without talking to someone he knows he starts to get a little nervous like if its been 1 whole week and he has not even exchanged small talk with like idk mahiru he's like "something is Critically Wrong" so then he'll go find her and be like "hi hows it going". its like disrupting his routine or whatever. i think the time periods for "how long hajime can go without talking to this person" varies depending on the person obviously. like with hiyoko it's like. they don't interact much so if it's been a week and a half he'll be like ohhh ok...maybe i should say something to her....but someone like kazuichi it's like. 3 days hasn't spoken to him once he's like Where Is That Mother Fucker.

this is all to say when it comes to komaeda in a komahina scenario it's devastating bc if he does not see komaeda in a while he gets fucked up abt it in like his anxiety/ptsd spiral his first thought it KOMAEDA IS DEAD. HIS LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then hes like banging on komaeda's cabin door and shit like KOMAEDA. PLEASE.PLEASE. and komaeda is like um hi. flip side: komaeda is also very much like this but with people he's close-close with bc if he does not see hajime in like three days he's like HAJIME IS DEAD. MY LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then he also goes crazy so they have to at least be makin small talk every day to ward off the demons....

as for like. TOXIC YAOI headcanons idk........anything in the chapter 4 area would be bad. i think. i have read so many hate fucking doujins in the chapter 4 time period. while dat all doesnt seem very canon to me (i just dont think hajime be doin all that. nor komaeda really) i see the vision. kamukoma was probably unhealthy on both sides if we want to go there. but like komahina. idk . 1) my brain is fogged up rn so it's hard to think you can ask again later if you desire but 2) really they aren't all that toxic like outside of a killing game environment. komaeda tends to keep to himself and hajime tries to understand people. so like. hajime is very much a "if it sucks hit da bricks" kind of philosopher so if komaeda was being a detriment to his health and he DID have a way out then it's not like he'd stay. hajime does put his foot down when things get too much. (if komaeda was a woman tho she could abuse hajime and he wouldnt gaf #mikanislandmodeending #hiyokoislandmodeending ) but see again komaeda wouldnt be doin all that. i cant see him intentionally hurt hajime post sdr2 canon, at most unintentionally toxic/unhealthy but again i thinnk hajime would in that case try to help him out like couples therapy style or something. WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS. im bad with headcanons it seems.

[wholesome-cryptid]

I would absolutely love to read that if you posted it ^^

OKAY BIG GRIMSLEY HEADCANON POST

IM NORMAL ABOUT GRIMSLEY I SWEAR I SWEAR

-Okay so a lot of this directly ties to my boyfriend @plushegutzz's oc Blaine and their lore so be prepared to see their name a lot. Also I'm not gonna include Bug in this because as much as I love her she's mostly just a silly little fankid i have for fun domestic fluff stuff so she doesn't really have a concrete timeline. Anyway i'll try my best to go through this chronologically.-

TWs for: gambling and gambling addiction, trauma, vague references to childhood abuse, Grimsley just generally being severely mentally ill

Grimsley Gore (birth name Gabriel Gore) was born into a wealthy Unovian family alongside his twin brother Garry. Being born into a rich family the two brothers had a lot of really strong expectations placed onto them from a very young age, with the two basically expected to be perfect all the time. Because of this stress growing up the two brothers developed a very strong bond as they really only felt like they had each other.

The mother of the Gore household was a very controlling and manipulative figure putting a lot of pressure onto the twins to be perfectly behaved golden children. Their father meanwhile was very emotionally distant towards his family and the rare times he did interact with his two sons he was generally pretty abusive. Growing up Grimsley/Gabriel tries his best to keep the uglier side of his home life away from public eyes, instead bragging to his friends about how cool and spoiled he is instead.

Grimsley's first pokémon was his Liepard (nicknamed Violet) who he met at around 8 years old, he spotted a wild Purrlion with an injured foot wandering his family's estate and immediately dropped everything to go check on the kitty. He got in a lot of trouble with his mother for doing so as his outfit ended up covered in dirt during his rescue of the pokémon but he was mostly just excited over having a pokemon of his own. He ended up nursing Violet back to help and it caused the two to develop a very close bond. Even as an adult Grimsley is super attached to his Liepard and basically treats her like his baby.

It's shortly after catching Violet that Grimsley meets Blaine A. Platinum the child of another wealthy Unova family with the twos parents pairing the two together in hopes of them getting married in adulthood. Both children absolutely hate this idea and don't initially get along with each other, but after a while of being forced to spend time together they start to realize that they're stuck in similar situations of shitty home lives and form a friendship over their shared struggle.

During his teen years Grimsley views his life as “going pretty good” in his eyes, he's still dealing with an actively abusive home life but he's kind of repressing all of his emotions about that. Instead he's clinging onto the bonds he formed with Blaine and his brother Garry. His dynamic with his brother is very “we've only got eachother” meanwhile he and Blaine are in this mess of “kinda dating but also kinda not dating we're 16 years old and it's complicated.” and both relationships are kinda overly dependent on Grimsley's end. Overall during this point of his life Grimsley just kinda acts like a spoiled brat rich kid who's better than everybody else because it's easier for him to accept than look inwards and try and process the trauma he very clearly is struggling with. (Grimsley spends a large chunk of his life running away from his trauma.)

Grimsley putting all his emotional stability on two people unsurprisingly ends up shooting him in the foot as his life kinda ends up falling apart at 19 years old. It starts with Blaine, They've personally had enough of the stress of their home life and now that they're an adult they're planning to run away and had been hoping that Grimsley would join them. Unfortunately Grimsley can't bring himself to abandon the only life he's ever known, a part of him knows deep down that he's not happy in his current situation but he can't bring himself to admit that. His life with his rich family being the only sense of stability he knows and he turns Blaine down. This turns into a huge fight between the two with Blaine basically accusing him of choosing his spoiled rich kid life over them and storms off.

Unsurprisingly, Grimsley takes Blaine leaving very badly with his emotions about the situation eventually starting to turn bitter with him viewing it as though Blaine abandoned him.

Things only get worse for poor Grims as not too long after he loses his brother too. Unlike Grimsley, Garry has been processing his emotions about their home life and also has decided he doesn't want to put up with it anymore. He informs Grimsley that he's intending to move away to Paldea to be with his fiancé, and much like Blaine offers his brother resources to get out himself but Grimsley isn't in the headspace to hear it and denies all of it feeling like his brother is abandoning him too.

Needless to say, Grimsley is in a pretty bad headspace at this point due to losing the two people he put all of his emotional stability into. (Even if it was a large part his own fault and refusal to process his emotional issues that caused him to lose them.) And things only get worse when his family falls into debt.

Grimsley's father was a gambler, it was a well known fact even if everyone in the family pretended it wasn't, and the kinds of casinos he was associating himself with weren't exactly the most legal ones. His father found himself owing quite a lot of money to Team Rocket causing the family to go bankrupt.

This all just sent Grimsley into a mental spiral with him basically having a full on episode. Not being able to let go of the spoiled rich life he was living because it was his only sense of stability was the reason he had lost his connections with Blaine and Garry in the first place and now he didn't even have that. Gambling was the reason he had lost everything, and in his state of mental instability he rationalized that gambling would be the thing to get his life back. It was during this episode that he decided to abandon his birth name is Gabriel and start going by Grimsley feeling as though he needed to abandon the “pathetic” person he used to be and reinvent himself.

Thrusting himself into casinos run by Team Rocket didn't exactly go well for Grimsley, with him getting roughed up for lacking proper funds on more than one occasion. But it was enough to get Grimsley addicted to the thrill of gambling. The rush of adrenaline it gave him distracted him from all the bad things going around in his he was already trying so hard to repress, it was something to make him feel ALIVE in his depressive state.

Still though hanging around these shady casinos and just getting pushed deeper into debt wasn't doing much good for him, and the only reason he was able to escape falling deeper into the organization was him meeting Nanu. Nanu was still working for the international police at this point and had been working undercover on a job related to Team Rocket and pretty quickly noticed that Grimsley was out of place. He gave him an out noticing that he actually had some really impressive pokémon battling skills and put him down the route of becoming a professional dark type pokémon trainer.

It didn't take Grimsley too long to rise up as an up and coming pokémon trainer and he definitely loved the attention and success that came with being a big name trainer. Eventually he ended up grabbing the attention of the champion of the region Alder, who saw potential in him to be successful as an Elite Four trainer and wanted to train him for the job.

His dynamic with Alder was, complicated, with Alder being a very mentorly almost father-like figure which made Grimsley and his repressed daddy issues panic. This only being furthered by Grimsley being close in age to Alder’s actual children and Alder being very aware of the fact that Grimsley was a very troubled young man who needed guidance. Grimsley did still accept the offer of the Elite Four job from Alder and did let him help out when it came to improving his pokémon battling, he did end up telling Alder to “watch it old timer” more than a couple times when it came to his personal life.

Despite his current success Grimsley still kept his gambling habits from before though and the thrill seeking that came from it although he was spending his time at more legal casinos this time. It was spending his time going out gambling that he found himself bumping into Blaine of all people again.

The two reuniting was fully by chance, Blaine finding a very hungover Grimsley passed out next to a casino with his Liepard Violet protectively coiled around him. Blaine was still fairly upset about their fight from a couple years ago at this point but could also tell that Grimsley wasn't exactly in a great state at the moment and decided to make sure he got home safe because a part of them still cared a lot for him. The two ended up catching up and while things were still very awkward between the two they decided to try and be friends to some degree again.

It was through Blaine that Grimsley ended up befriending Burgh as well, with Blaine having befriended the man through their shared passion for art. Grimsley being deathly afraid of bugs from a very young age wasn't the biggest fan of Burgh’s choice in type speciality he thought the man was fun to hang around with and so he had no choice but to put up with it, especially since Burgh was determined to help Grimsley get over his fears.

Burgh found Grimsley rather endearing in general, in fact he found himself kind of crushing on the man. Blaine, rather heavily protested this crush, pointing out that Grimsley was rather obviously very emotionally unavailable. But Burgh couldn't really help it, he could tell that underneath all the facade he put on all the time he had a softer side underneath it all and he just needed help getting it all out.

For once in his life Grimsley found himself genuinely doing pretty good, he was successful in his job in the Elite Four, he had friends in his life that genuinely cared about him, he was even starting to reconnect with his brother and get to know his nephew Giacomo (the young Giacomo really looking up to his uncle.) Unfortunately for Grimsley having people that genuinely loved and cared about him in his adulthood meant that he couldn't keep getting away with an unchecked gambling addiction and repressing all his negative emotions and pretending they didn't exist anymore. He had people that wanted him to get better and he basically got dragged kicking and screaming into therapy and working through his issues by Blaine, Garry, Alder and Burgh.

Grimsley hated working through his big pile of traumas and mental issues at first, it made him feel vulnerable and exposed and he didn't like that. But slowly over time he started to make progress and allow himself to be emotionally open with other people and starts dating Burgh during this time with the man encouraging him to be more open to being his genuine self. He also is a bit more willing to accept Alder as a father figure at this point. (Also diversity win! Grimsley realizes he's nonbinary at this point! yay! This is why you'll occasionally see me talk about headcanoning Grimsley as Bigender and using He/She/Any pronouns.) He even starts allowing people to call him Gabriel again on rare occasions, although this permission is really only given to Burgh, Blaine and Garry it's a huge sign of progress for him.

He eventually fully talks his emotions out with Blaine as hard as that is for him to do, and the two of them finally get over the fight they had all those years ago and start dating as well because I think Grimsley deserves two partners actually.

Aloan Grimsley is him taking a much needed mental health vacation after everything he's been through and allowing himself some rest and relaxation. Besides what's better than surfing on a Sharpedo in order to cope with your repressed emotional issues? He chose to hang out in Alola due to his previous connection with Nanu.

My version of Grimsley is just generally very special to me and is something that is very very dear to me so hopefully y'all enjoyed this big wall of text as well haha! i do have some vague additional headcanons but those aren't as heavily fleshed out and i wanted to just include the fully concrete stuff!!!

[thestobingirlie]

i don't ship stancy, im mostly indifferent to it, but i really don't get the lengths some anti-stancies, nancy stans (especially the ones that are massively anti steve), or r*nance shippers go to to discredit the stuff that happened in s4

"theyve been broken up for years" theyve been broken up for less than 18 months. Early November 84- late march 86 is about 17 months. Less than a year and a half. That's not long enough to qualify for the plural of "years". Saying that they've been broken up for years makes it seem like steve's in his 20s or 30s and is still pining over 'the one that got away' from high school. not a teenager that still has feelings for someone he's been broken up with for less than two years. its implied that nancy was his first 'serious' relationship. and based on what we know of his dating history post s2, his only serious relationship. its not unusual for there to still be some feelings there.

"steve wants to force nancy to have six kids even though she doesn't want kids/ a family." first nancy never said she didn't want kids/ a family, shes said she doesn't want to turn into her parents. steve never said he wanted nancy to birth six kids for him. he said he had a dream of having five or six kids and that nancy was there beside him. the number of kids doesn't matter. its him saying that he wants kids and to be a present dad. he wants a family and also doesn't want to turn into his parents, as its heavily implied that he's an only child with not great parents. Nancy said his dream sounded nice other than the six kids part. a more manageable number like maybe three kids could be the balance that would work for them.

"steve tried to get nancy to cheat on Jonathan despite knowing she was happy in their relationship." steve confessed his feelings to her in a life or death situation, after shed been showing some signs of being interested. he never said he wanted her to leave jonathan or that he expected her to just jump into his arms. he said he still had feelings for her in a high stress situation. and much of jancy's relationship in s4 doesn't read as happy. they've been together for 16-17 months, and almost half of that they've been in an ldr and they've had communication issues since before jonathan moved away.

sorry for they longs ask this is just something that's bugging me because i keep seeing this in the steve tag

i truly think so many anti stancies just hate steve, and that’s why all of their “explanations” just try to make steve look bad.

like saying it’s been years since they broke up. it’s been about a year and a half! and like you said, it’s pretty much his only serious relationship. according to joe keery, she’s the first girl to really listen to him. and he hasn’t had someone (romantically) like that since. steve was nancy’s first love (again, according to natalia). it wasn’t just some short thing. it was a serious relationship at a very emotional time.

also, i personally doubt that steve’s spent that year just pining for nancy, but they’re in a life and death situation, and i think all those feelings they left behind just came rushing back. they never truly got closure. it’s natural that being together, and fighting side by side and depending on each other would make everything between them come to the surface.

ugh the six kid thing is the bane of my existence (again, people use it to try to make steve seem weird, and pushy, and demanding). it’s so clearly a reference to the party lmao. like you said, nancy never said she doesn’t want kids, she said she doesn’t want to be stuck in a miserable relationship because that’s what everyone expects (which sounds more like s4 jancy tbh). and the crucial part of steve’s confession is that nancy is the most important part. not the kids. not the travelling. but nancy by his side. what matters to steve is that there’s love. which is what’s important to nancy too.

(and yeah. they ain’t having six kids LMAO)

yes!!! can people not confess feelings anymore without being accused of homewrecking two teenagers lol? he never said he wants them broken up. he thinks he may die!!! he wants it off his chest!!! nancy was, imo, the first to start the flirting, and steve figured… why not!

honestly couldn’t have said this all better myself.

[onestepbackwards]

Adding onto the dabbing idea (of all things XD) from 🎲 anon.

Something clicked in my mind. Consider, young Pokémon pick up behaviors from their parental figures and other inspirations.

To spread the gospel of dabbing all across the Hisui Region, the streamer starts to teach hordes of friendly Pokémon with arms of any kind: cleffas, ralts, clefairies, spheals, and some rare Sneasels, riolus, geodudes, gibles, croagunks, etc, all learned how to dab (to the best of their ability).

Whenever a battle is won, finish it off with a dab to show they acknowledge the enemy's strength, basically, GG bro GG.

In wild encounter cases (for any reason), the streamer dabs to acknowledge the Pokémons’ presence and importance.

Unlike bowing, which can be seen as a cowardly request for mercy. The streamer made dabbing a sign of confidence that wouldn’t break away from a promise made, always actively aware of the Pokémons boundaries.

They know they are trespassing onto their territory, but are simply requesting a peaceful passage through it.

If the streamer then doesn’t collect any items, or battle any Pokémon they’ll be allowed a peaceful parting.

However, said Pokémon will not let their eyes off of the streamer at all until they leave.

It is best done when the same Pokémon groups encounter the same trainer. Not all Pokémon will be so forgiving to compete with strangers, but it does much more than running.

So imagine an official Pokémon Ranger tweeting on Pokétwitter that a person stuck in a cave for hours survived a family of territorial Garchomps by dabbing in front of them. They were allowed to pass through as long as they knew their place and caused no issues.

They were found safe, out of the cave, just beside a cliff waiting for rescue.

It being such a simple gesture, able to communicate much more than words could.

The Pokémon Rangers (both kinds) are considering experimenting with dabbing when on patrols just to see just how far it truly spread.

Scientists which study Pokémon behavior and language now booking it to study how a universal gesture could spread from one Pokémon to another of a different species.

It was a joke that has everyone whipping their heads around HOL-UP, is the streamer really a chaotic genius?!

Im sorry but this idea almost has me in tears

Like imagine how this was taught down by wild pokemon

And like, it died out when the streamer goes home, but it became ingrained in wild pokemon at that point

And after the hiker pulls this off after panicking in a cave, it becomes a cultural boom once again.

Moms suddenly realize the reason their kids are friends with so many wild pokemon, since their kids were doing an ancient greeting of sorts.

Scientists (reluctantly or gleefully, depending on who you ask) dab in ancient sites, and unown grant them entry

Dabbing takes the world by storm (again), all because you accidentally ingrained it in Hisuian pokemon that it was a peace greeting and sign of respect.

The power of memeing truly knows no bounds

[suffarustuffaru]

What do you think would’ve happened if Heinkel had been the one to fall into a coma instead of Louanna? I just think the potential of that is very juicy because like that completely changes the Astrea family dynamics!

oh i ADORE this idea so much!!! arghhh i love astrea family dynamics so much and i really really like each member - though of course i hope we learn more about louanna soon!!! im so curious about her and everyone in the family BUT her is at least decently fleshed out already!! but yes okay this idea is great and also Everyone in these reddit threads have brainstormed all kinds of ideas for Other Astrea Members Falling Comatose (heinkel, reinhard, theresia, or wilhelm) far far better than i could so if anyone seeing this hasnt seen those i highly recommend reading!! super fun ideas going on <3

but yeah my quick two cents on heinkel specifically going comatose is that, like people have mentioned in those threads that stuff would happen differently. marcos doesnt rejoin the royal guard, reinhard probably doesnt get the dp of mind changing, wilhelm might die to the whale instead since heinkel isnt around to get sent on a suicide mission and wilhelm Would Not Back Down from that, etc etc. or did theresia get sent to kill the whale right away while wilhelm like in canon went to deal with the royal family?? that sort of thing.

i think ultimately we dont 100% know what would happen on the louanna side of things just because. we dont know anything about how she was as a person hah so hard to predict!! but i think things would probablyy turn out a little better given everything i just mentioned. and also the bar for how canon went is super low anyway aljsdfl. but yeah i mean louanna seems like she might cope a little better (i mean. shes Probablyy not the type to fall into alcoholism right haha). or she might Also Cope Badly, depending on how you wanna interpret this. and depending on how louanna turns out to be as a person. and Someone is still gonna die to the whale probably. so things are Not That Great and also heinkel being comatose means he wont be head of the house. louanna in this situation either way would need to take charge - both in the sense that uh, in the end it'll just be her and one of reinhard's grandparents left around, and also in the sense that she is reinhards only parent left now. and also reinhard Might get a bit more pressure to hurry into the royal guard sooner. he'll get compared to his comatose MIA dad im sure :(( esp since heinkel is. frozen in time.

theres Always something chilling about how in canon, long term sleeping beauty syndrome victims are just. Stuck. in time. forever frozen. never aging a single day from the moment they were gone. thats Haunting. thats like living with a ghost thats still there. and in this au itd be heinkel!! heinkel whos still at his prime and hasnt truly had a permanent failure yet (losing his mom to the whale, losing louanna to a coma, etc etc), and of course like canon heinkel, louannas left to pick up the pieces which is always really sad to me :(( she and heinkel were young too when all of this started to go wrong T^T like Still Adults, of course, but still young!! like shes 21 and hes 22 T^TT wild stuff.

also i do agree with people who said that louanna might just wack reinhard over the head for kidnapping felt like that. 1000%.

anyway!!! astrea family drama still goes Wrong i think somehow, in another font, if heinkel or anyone else is the one that gets put into a coma :(( it might be better or worse depending on what happens!! and depending on who gets comatose and who Dies!! but yes i think everything goes a bit wrong either way :(( they can never win T^T but itd shift dynamics around every time which is the fun part!!

[alaskan-wallflower]

this whole trip fucking sucks. i sound like a brat because i came all the way out here and whatnot but ive listened to my mom berate me for three days about how if i don’t get this right she’s gonna send me away to camp, she’s been complaining about how much of a brat i am i. public to her fucking friends. her friends ask me about college and she turns it into something about how my goddamn brother is going to an ivy league bad how hard HE worked and how hard HE’S working and how amazing and incredible HE is when it was a conversation about me. it’s sounds stupid and bitchy be had ei don’t deserve a conversation about me but it’s SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS because the only things she says about me are about how much I “hate her” or how much of a “dependent brat who never helps out around the house” i am. and god forbid i tell her i feel like shit it’s “well you’re eating so you’re fine and you better not be sick because it’ll ruin MY week next week when we go off on our planned annual family vacation” and i’m just so fed up with everything. she yells at me and berates me all the time. u miss my dad. my dad listens to me and he lets me rattle on about whatever i want. he doesn’t judge me and he helps me out and my mom calls him an enabler because of this. i had a mental breakdown in the bathroom because i was given the wrong time for choir rehearsal which i don’t wanna go to because my vocal cords feel like they’re being ripped out. but im eating so im fine. i told her i was coming back to the room because it was gonna be halfway over when i arrived and she gives me the cold shoulder over text so now im sitting in the lobby like an idiot because she’s gonna yell at me when i get back. so um lying and saying i managed to catch the last bit. i know im being a pussy because gentle parenting doesn’t get you anywhere na smh mom is joking about beating my ass if i don’t socialize even though i feel like i was wrung through the meat grinder and there’s covid going around and i haven’t been able to do anything i want since regents, which sounds even more bratty. i miss my dad and he’s leaving the day i get home so im stuck alone with her for another few days. it makes me miserable and i genuinely just feel like shit right now. i can’t do anything right and if i have to socialize any more than i have been i’m going to fucking hang myself. she tells me she’s “pushing me out of my comfort zone” but honestly my comfort zone is maybe having a few hours of socializing. she’s been forcing me into all these things she signed me up for and i didn’t even know i was doing until she tells me to get out or whatever. it’s so annoying. i can’t fucking do it anymore.