#so im sniffling! boo!!!!!
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ah. Hm. don't like THAT.
#my body is throwing a hissy fit i think 👍#lightheaded and nauseous arent a good combo#i am curious why my body is doing this rn#probably food. its probably food.#but i can't get food rn so its going to have to suck it up and get through the day 👍👍#i will probably go get food on my lunch break tho#which i hate doing but i hate the thought of passing out at work even more!#ough#also on top of that ive got fucking allergies cus i didnt take my meds last night#so im sniffling! boo!!!!!#shh ac
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guys I cant keep lying by omission I do Have to say . it's not that I dont ship qyz with anyone its literally just that I do Nawt like seeing him with yy to be so honest with you
#j.txt#SORRY IM FRINGE AND NICHE AND NOT EVEN A TRUE HATER. I like yy a lot also just Not With Him yknow#also like. oh this is so embarrasing but its going to be revealed eventually anyways so fuck it#um. qyz is the single character whose ever gotten me into ocxcanon ahaha[<laughing like a man expecting tomatoes and boos off the stage]#I KNOW ITS CRINGE I KNOW /EYE/ AM CRINGE . BUT A MAN MUST BE ALLOWED TO HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP HIM GOING YES?#I just think I could give him what he deserves and more....... I crafted him a loving narrative parallel and even in some ways foil.....#[sniffles pathetically]I just dont talk abt it publicly much bc honest2god if ppl hate my oc I Will take it personal. bleeding heart & all#but Im getting so brave about it and like. I do genuinely want to share some with others bc thee facking worldbuilding I am having to do#to make this shit work. tian AH .and it gives me excuse to just headcanon a ton of unrelated stuff for qyz himself so yknow#Still putting in my Work as a minor underdeveloped character stan💪#oh forgot 2 say Also its very rare but I Have seen qyz shipped w other canon characters and liked it !! like sqx which tbh is kindof cute<3
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can we see pogue!rafe telling reader one day they're gonna make it and be much more comfortable and then she can have everything she wants IM SORRY pogue rafe makes me angsty
note: this is pup and pogue!rafe all the way. inspiration from pogue!rafe goes to @.princessbrunette
you're very low maintance overall, wearing dirty scuffed shorts, and a wife beater that you stole from rafe. sometimes rafe has to grab you to tell you how dirty you look, smelling of grass with marks of dirt on your jorts.
he gets more annoyed when you continue to wear his clothes. a white unbuttoned shirt with a cropped tee, and while rafe will raise an eyebrow then and then again telling you that you're gonna get cold, you can see the feigned annoyance that flickers in his eyes time and time again. but he doesn't get too annoyed with you, somehow kinder, and sweeter with you than anyone he knew.
sometimes people were surprised, the way that he would cower for you. one time you had come home with a bruised hip after ducking to get a softball for a bunch of ten-year-olds, and came home wobbling for him to soak you a bath, chastening you to be careful. if you told anyone how soft he was for you, they would laugh, swearing that you were lying.
sometimes you had to get rafe to stop doting on you in front of his friends, rugged workers who would raise an eyebrow every single time they saw rafe kneel to tie your shoelaces.
"every goddamn time pup," he muttered lowly, "you're going to trip and i'm gonna have to kiss your boo boos? huh? answer me." rafe whispered crudely, while licking his lips as you flushed trying to look anywhere but his co-workers.
(you hated it so much that later on you were shoving your tongue down his throat telling him how much you loved him)
life was good. life was sweet, even if you couldn't get the nicest thing that there was in town, or that sometimes you had to settle for those cheap restaurants, or even if you had to dig out the nastiest rench out of the toilet after it had dropped. (okay, the last one was just a fun adventure rafe had told you not to do)
but there's something about that dress in the window. that stares back at you, and you can't help but feel this aching in your heart. it's this feeling that you can't escape when you walk past it every single day. the little ruffles, and the sheer beauty of the dress. sometimes you bite your tongue before walking past it, willing yourself to stop yourself.
when people told you a dress was meant for you, you had laughed toying with your jeans, wistfully nodding your head. the worst thing about it was the price tag.
one time you had willed yourself to enter in there, cold hands in your pants, as you skimmed past the other clothing to cut to the dress. just turning it over, you felt as if someone punched you in the stomach. 200 dollars? goddamn it, and then you quickly walked out, forgetting to say goodbye.
when you reached home, you pushed the door open in your shitty apartment, quickly going to get a strawberry soda. you ignored the raised eyebrow that rafe gave you, and before you knew it you were sniffling and running into the bedroom.
"uh—shit, hey, what's wrong?" his muffled voice rings clear into your head, "pup. can't cut me out like that. i thought we worked on that. managing your emotions and n’shit." there's a tone of concern in his voice, and you know he's stopping himself from barging in into the small room.
that was the first thing the two of you worked on. due to how small the place was, and given how much space both of you needed, you had rules to knock if the other went into a room, angry. rafe had started it, sitting you down telling you that sometimes he needed to be alone.
you bite your lip, folding yourself into a ball, as you mewl a "you can come in."
rafe entered the room with a sigh, folding his hands seeing you scrawled on the wooden floor. you bat your eyes, wispy eyelashes wet from crying, and you can't help yourself but reach out for him. he sits next to you, nudging you to scoot closer. you do, pressing your face against the folds of his button-up, smelling in the scent of peppermint and dirt.
"you wanna tell me what that was about?"
you sober up, as he sits down next to you. you push your face closer to his chest as you shake your head. you couldn't dare tell him why you were feeling so horrible. you couldn't tell him you felt horrible because you couldn't have some stupid dress. money issues were something that rafe was used to, and for you to use it against him would be inhuman. no, you had what was the most important—rafe.
"so you're—you're gonna sulk?" he drawls, voice cruelly sweet, "c'mon kid, you can't just leave me hanging here. my sweet girl can't be crying."
you hiccupped, rubbing your eyes as you detached yourself from him, "no, i really can't tell you."
now he was on alert, eyes sharp as he looked you over. you were never the one to cry and not tell him what was going on. make matters worse you would mope for weeks over the smallest thing. be it an animal documentary, or a story of a baby dying before meeting their mother. last week you had sobbed over the death of a ladybug.
"hey? hey!" rafe shook his head as he leaned closer to you to wipe away your tear, "did someone say something to you? just give me a name. i'll take care of you, you know i will."
this made you cry even harder, and you watched rafe look completely confused, as he tries to console you, you watched him bite the inside of his cheek, rubbing his hands against his sides. he looks completely helpless, and out of his element.
"it's about a dress," you whisper out, unsure as you look up at him, watching his lips twitch into a jeering smile.
"shit kid. all this-" rafe waved his hands around, a condencing tone edging in his voice, "all of this is about a dress? what's it made out of of—and uh, what the hell happened?"
somehow you can't help but laugh at his increditious tone, and realise how stupid it was of you not to tell him in the first place. he's your boyfriend, practically your best friend and everything to you.
you sniffled, "theres this dress that i see on my way to work, and it's so pretty, and i wish it was mine. every single time i see it, i feel like i'm betraying you."
rafe looked confused, running a hand through his hair "how would you be betraying me? 'just a dress."
now you feel like crying even more, snot running down your face as he grabs your face to wipe it away, "no, rafe! not the dress. it's—" you let out a heavy sigh, "it's not the dress. it's the concept."
he looked amused, rubbing your back, "and that concept is?"
"that i'm not happy with you, and that i'm so greedy because i want a stupid dress, and that you deserve better, and that i'm just in it for the money!" you burst out, wailing at this point crumbling into rafe's arms. "i'm a bad person, rafe! i'm a bad person-"
and he says nothing. instead he gathers you in his arms, gently rubbing your head, as you whimpered softly. he's whispering something softly to you, as you try to burrow yourself closer to him.
"kid?"
"yea?"
"you're not a bad person for wanting something nice and new. especially if it's something that matters to you, uh, you gotta let yourself feel like that sometimes," he whispered out awkwardly, but when you look up at him you see the way that his eyes crinkled earnestly. he really cares about you, really cares about you.
"hell," he let out a laugh, "sometimes i feel like that. sometimes i want what those kooks have. those private jets, and houses and golf, and that doesn't make me a bad person," and then he gives you a soft smile before sobering up.
"what it means is that we gotta work harder for it," rafe mutters, pulling you closer, "but you and me?"
you nod waiting for him to say something.
"you and me are in for it. big time. and if it's some fancy dress you want, shit, i'm going to get you that dress, but you gotta wait," he coughed.
"i know this looks bad," he said, nudging at the apartment around the two of you, "but it's going to get better."
then he rests your head on his shoulders, and you feel more grateful than you ever.
#puppy!reader#pogue!rafe#rafe cameron prompt#div cr anitalenia#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#obx fic#rafe x you#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#fluff#rafe obx#drabble#rafe x y/n#rafe fanfiction#obx rafe cameron#outerbanks rafe#cute#rafe fluff#rafe fic#rafe cameron x fem!reader#obx3#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x fem!reader
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❥・word count: 25.5k ❥・genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, single dad kun, single mom reader, there is some angst but not between reader and kun, more-so around them in terms of like life events ❥・warnings: cursing, kid on kid violence (biting lol) ❥・extra info: people are called ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ in this so if u can’t be normal abt that maybe skip this one ❥・author’s note: omggg it’s finally here! this one has been a wip for like literally like 1.5 yrs i think? anyway im absolutely in love w single dad kun in this one, and i hope u guys fall in love w him too 🫶
“Mr. Qian, I’m failing to see how this is any of your concern.”
“Because you’re treating my kid like he’s a felon.”
“Well yours treated mine like a chew toy so excuse me for exercising some caution,” you finally snapped, tightening your grip around your son and cradling the back of his head.
PART I: moments turn to dreams within my mind
Woobin had always been a kid with big feelings, from big smiles to big tears, and as his mom you encouraged him to feel those big feelings when they came. Your older cousin often warned you that you were raising a “crybaby,” but you brushed off her attempts at parenting advice. You’d rather have your Woobin and all his softness than her kid who screamed and threw his monster trucks at the wall at the slightest provocation.
But that didn’t make it any easier for you to walk in and see your son bawling by himself in the corner of his classroom when you went to pick him up from preschool that afternoon. You immediately skirted around a couple other kids and parents to kneel down beside him, feeling your heart breaking as you rubbed his back, “Binnie, Binnie, hey, hey, hey. Mommy’s here.”
You caught the three-year-old by the underarms before he could throw his arms around your neck. His face was bright red, eyes puffy from clearly how hard he had been crying, and snot and spit coated his chin.
“Wait a second, Binnie, I know,” you kept your voice level and calm despite how frantic you felt. “Is it a scary cry or a boo-boo cry?”
It took him several deep inhales and sniffling exhales before he could sob out, “Scary and boo-boo cry, Mommy!”
“Oh, baby,” you immediately enfolded him in your arms, cradling him to your chest gently. “What hurts, Binnie? Can you show me the boo-boo?”
It was then that one of his teachers finally joined you, an apologetic look on her face, “Ms. Y/N, I am so sorry. We would have called, but it happened right before the end of the school day.”
“What happened?”
“Woobin had an incident with another friend.”
“An incident? What sort of incident?” You looked around for another crying kid, expecting that they both had gotten hurt doing something together.
Woobin had just pulled up the left sleeve of his whale patterned longsleeve shirt when his teacher explained to you, “Woobin got bit.”
And there, on your son’s upper arm was the bright red imprint of teeth marks. In fact, it seemed to have been so recent that you could still see the indents in his skin. You were filled with such a burning, white hot rage that your skin tingled and if you weren’t already holding Woobin, you think you would’ve swung on someone. You liked to consider yourself a level-headed person, in control of your emotions, but it was practically all out the window in that moment.
“He got bit?” You repeated her phrasing incredulously. “You mean another kid bit him.”
“I understand that this can be upsetting—”
“How did this happen?” You demanded, pulling Woobin’s sleeve back down and wrapping your arms around him tighter. “What were you doing?”
“Ma’am, I think it would be best for all of us to have a discussion about this together.”
“All of us? Including the biter’s parents? I want to know what you are going to do to make sure my child is safe at your preschool before I even think about bringing him back here, much less have some mediation like he’s at fault as much as the kid who bit him.”
The teacher paused, as if waiting to see if you were done, before speaking again, “Ms. Y/N, it is our policy in such incidents to have a meeting between school personnel and the guardians of both involved children, regardless of... injury. In order for Woobin to keep his spot, you two are required to attend this meeting. We understand if you wish to seek out different accommodations for him, however, we’ve found that all parties are typically satisfied with the outcome of this process. I highly encourage you try it, and if you still want to pull Woobin from our program after, that is of course your decision as his mother.”
Your chest was heaving as you took deep breaths, clenching your jaw as you stared her down. After a few moments of deliberation and listening to your son’s continued sobs, you let out a short and bitter sigh, “When would this meeting be?”
“After school tomorrow. Will you be available then?”
“Fine. Yes,” you stood up with your boy still in your arms, shifting him onto your hip. “But Woobin will not be at school tomorrow.”
“He will be missed,” she nodded with that same placid smile.
As you stalked out of the classroom, you passed by a father and son speaking to the other teacher.
The next day, you dropped Woobin off at your parents’ place with a peck on his forehead and profuse ‘thank you’s to them. You had vented to your mother on the phone the night prior, after putting your son to bed, finally letting loose all the obscenities that you had wanted to in the preschool. Your mom gladly took her grandson for the day before shooing you off to work.
You then had to leave work a little early to pick Woobin up from your parents’ to take him to the preschool since the meeting was to take place right after the school day ended. For some godforsaken reason that escaped you, they required the kids to be in attendance at the meeting too. As if your three-year-old was really going to be testifying about the entire situation. The most him being there could accomplish was prove that he had a bite mark, which a picture on your phone could also do.
After a “give ‘em hell” from your mom, and an offer to come along from your dad, which you contemplated for a moment, then declined, you started for the school. While your dad coming along would make you feel better, it would also make you feel like you were buying your first car again and were afraid of the salesman trying to scam you for being a woman. This was a meeting about the welfare and treatment of your son, you could do this.
Standing in the lobby with some other parents who were milling around, waiting for the respective classrooms to announce they were ready for pick-up, you found yourself tapping your foot impatiently. The 1-year-olds picked up first, then the 2-year-olds. As those families filtered out, you were left with only a few parents, as this section of the school only went up to 3-year-olds. The 4-year-olds went to a different wing of the building for VPK, and you knew that the other buildings on the rather expansive campus held an elementary, middle, and even high school.
You felt Woobin shift in your arms to get comfortable, and readjusted him to your other hip, “Sorry, Binnie, I know you’re tired.”
“Do you two want to sit?” A voice spoke up from behind you.
You turned around and had to look down at a man in a suit sitting on one of the padded benches in the lobby. He was presumably some kind of businessman from the nice upkeep and fit of his suit, even as he had loosened the tie a little bit for being off of work. His handsome, friendly smile would’ve made your heart skip a beat on any other day, if you weren’t on a mission today.
All of the seating had been taken up when you got there, and you didn’t even think to look around for open spots as other parents started to leave.
The man shifted to one end, gesturing towards the open spots that could fit probably three adults comfortably. You smiled at him gratefully, “Oh, yes, thank you.”
You sat down, keeping your sleepy Woobin on your lap. Being at his grandparents’ today had thrown off his usual nap schedule, and you rubbed his back soothingly. Rolling up his sleeve which was on the side opposite from the man, you inspected the bite mark. It had blossomed into a rather gnarly bruise overnight, all blue and purple, and it only made anger churn again in your chest. He hadn’t given any indication that it still hurt as you fixed his sleeve, thumb tenderly swiping over the area after.
Finally, the three-year-old class was dismissed for pick-up, and the other parents gathered their children. You hung back, waiting for all of them to filter out, before you approached the classroom. You figured the parents of the biter would still be in there, but hadn’t expected the man who had offered you a seat to be the one there with another little boy and the teachers.
“Wonderful, everyone is here,” Mrs. Chen, the older of the two teachers, announced.
“Qian Kun.” The man took it upon himself to do the introductions, bowing to you politely. He then ruffled the hair of the boy standing beside him, just above knee-height, “And this is my son Junyi. I am deeply sorry for Junyi biting Woobin, Miss…?”
“Y/L/N Y/N,” you half-nodded half-bowed back to him as best you could with Woobin in your arms. “And before we get into all that, what I really want to know is—” You rounded on the teachers. “How this could have even happened.”
Ms. Xu, the younger teacher with whom you had spoken yesterday, opened a door on the far side of the classroom, “Of course. We’ll be having the meeting in here.”
With a short sigh at how your question was once again brushed off, you stepped into the interior office space. It looked like it must be where the teachers took their breaks and did any sort of administrative work. A few desks were against the walls, closed laptops and bags set on a couple of them. There was a table set up in the middle, four chairs around it, and a small area with toys off to the side.
“We have a place over there for the children to play while we discuss,” Ms. Xu smiled, gesturing to the toys you’d spotted when you walked in.
Mr. Qian nodded, gently directing his son towards them, “Go on and play for a bit, Junyi. Daddy’s going to talk right over here, okay?”
Junyi toddled over and plopped himself down on the playmat, picking up a truck and doll, easily entertaining himself. The other three adults looked to you and your son expectantly.
“Thank you, but Woobin is going to be staying with me,” you informed them. All the talking had made Woobin stir, but he seemed rather content in your arms anyway, simply looking between all the adults with big, curious eyes.
“Ms. Y/L/N, I assure you, I had a talk with Junyi last night and again this morning about not biting our friends. He shouldn’t be doing that anymore.”
“And I assure you, Mr. Qian, my concerns are not about your parenting,” you told him frankly. “But Woobin will be remaining with me for the duration of this meeting.”
“Ms. Y/L/N, really, Woobin will be fine with Juny—”
“Mr. Qian, I’m failing to see how this is any of your concern.”
“Because you’re treating my kid like he’s a felon.”
“Well yours treated mine like a chew toy so excuse me for exercising some caution,” you finally snapped, tightening your grip around your son and cradling the back of his head.
Mr. Qian’s jaw dropped, and Mrs. Chen cut in before he could say anything else.
“Let’s all sit down and try to have a more productive discussion.” The words were phrased like a suggestion, but the stern tone she said them in very much let you know that they weren’t. “Ms. Y/L/N, Woobin can of course be wherever you are most comfortable having him.”
You nodded to her curtly, taking a seat at the table. With Woobin more awake, you turned him in your lap to face the table, and set up a couple toys and small games on the tabletop to keep him occupied. The teachers took a seat beside each other, leaving you and Mr. Qian sitting caddy-corner.
“First, I want to know what happened,” you demanded, entirely focused on the two teachers.
Ms. Xu took over the explaining, “The class had earned free play yesterday after finishing their curriculum work early. After, we were doing our end of the day clean-up activities, which all of the students help with. Junyi and Woobin were assigned to pick up toys this week. It seems there was a disagreement about who was going to be putting away a specific toy, a whale. Woobin was bit.”
You clenched your jaw at that passive phrasing again. “And where were you two when this was going on?”
“Mrs. Chen was assisting the students who were cleaning the snack tables on the other side of the room. I was the one overseeing the students tidying that side of the room.”
“What do you mean when you say disagreement? I’m trying to understand how it was allowed to escalate into biting.”
Mr. Qian finally spoke up again, “Ms. Y/L/N, Junyi has never done anything like this before, I honestly don’t know where this came from. He’s not a mean kid.”
“Mr. Qian, that is not what I said nor asked,” you turned to him coolly. “I want to know what exactly she was seeing and how much time she had to intervene.”
Ms. Xu recalled, “The two of them were getting along fine. Junyi did seem to be getting a little frustrated, and Woobin was beginning to tear up, but there was no contact at that point, and we know how Woobin is.”
She glanced at the boy on your lap with a sympathetic look, and it took everything in you to hold back your revulsion at her. Yes, your son was quicker to cry than others, but that didn’t mean that as the adult, she shouldn’t investigate what exactly was making him cry.
“I was keeping an eye on the situation to see if they would resolve it on their own,” she tried to reassure you. “If I had thought that it would escalate like that at all, I promise I would have intervened. The contact was entirely unexpected and very sudden.”
“The biting.” You clarified flatly.
“Well, yes,” she nodded. “As soon as I saw it happen, both Mrs. Chen and I went over and separated the two. It was no more than a second or two at most, Ms. Y/N.”
“It sounds like you two did the best you could’ve,” Mr. Qian told the teachers before turning to you once more. “Ms. Y/L/N, again, I am so sorry that Junyi did this, but it sounds like it really did come out of nowhere.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply to recenter yourself. Entirely ignoring Mr. Qian’s platitudes, you looked at the teacher, “It took you just a second or two to separate them?”
“Yes,” she confirmed.
“Binnie, may I?” You murmured to your son, reaching for the sleeve of his shirt.
“Okay, Mommy,” he easily let go of his toy for you.
Rolling up the longsleeve of his shirt you turned him a little to show off the deep black, blue, and purple bruise in the perfect shape of a set of little teeth to the other three adults sitting around the table with you. Ms. Xu audibly gasped, Mrs. Chen covered her mouth and looked away, and Mr. Qian had the most visceral reaction, grimacing with his whole upper body as if he’d been slapped.
“I simply find it hard to believe that it was only a mere one or two seconds when my son’s arm looks like this now,” you stated, making firm eye contact with both teachers. “So, I will ask again: How long did it take you to separate them?”
Mrs. Chen and Ms. Xu exchanged uncomfortable looks before the older woman took over speaking.
“Ms. Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve had experience with removing a child that’s bitten onto another and won’t let go, but you can’t simply rip them apart without causing further damage to the other child’s skin. Ms. Xu couldn’t separate them on her own, she had to wait for me to get there, and as we’ve already said, I was on the other side of the classroom. So yes, it did take longer than we would have liked to separate the two.”
“So it took longer than two seconds, which is what you just told me, twice. You have lied to me twice now about how my child got injured in your classroom.” You rolled Woobin’s sleeve back down, absentmindedly patting his head. Leaning forward as much as you could with him there, you jutted your pointer finger decidedly into the tabletop outside of his toys, “So now I want to know what you and the school are going to do to ensure my son’s safety in your classroom.”
The father beside you suddenly jolted into action at your words, “Ms. Y/L/N, Junyi won’t—”
You rounded on him incredulously, doing your best to both be firm while not absolutely losing it on him, “Mr. Qian, I have already told you that I am not here to concern myself with how you parent your child. And I think the fact that you take my concern for my own child’s wellbeing as an affront to your relationship with yours says more than I would ever think is appropriate for me to.”
Okay, maybe you lost it on him a little.
With him sufficiently dumbfounded, you were able to focus back on the school staff in front of you, “Now please, can we get back to the topic at hand? I want to know what you two plan on doing about classroom management and observing the children under your care to prevent future incidents like this from happening. And I want it written down in a formal document, with assurances from your superiors about how both that and your staff training on communication with parents will be handled, because it certainly can’t include lying to them.”
Ms. Xu looked down at her lap guiltily, while Mrs. Chen simply looked disgruntled. You held the older woman’s gaze steadily, having a distinct feeling that little lie you’d been told was her doing, and the junior teacher was following her own superior’s lead.
“Of course, Ms. Y/N. I will call the principal right now to aid in drawing up the document you’ve requested,” Mrs. Chen acquiesced, standing up and moving over to one of the desks, picking up the landline phone sitting there.
You nodded to her, finally letting your eyes drop down to your kid in your lap. You were unable to fight off the smile that spread across your lips as you looked at your son, picking up one of his hands and bringing it up to your mouth to kiss his little fingers.
“My turn Mommy!” He squealed, grabbing one of your fingers and giving it a comically loud smooch.
You could feel Mr. Qian’s gobsmacked stare on you still, but ignored him. You’d done what you came here to do, none of which involved making nice with the biter’s parents. While what you’d said about not wanting to comment on his parenting was true, that didn’t mean that you hadn’t formed a silent opinion or two about it, especially with how defensive he was. Needless to say, with how he’d attempted to handle this, you didn’t really think very highly of Mr. Qian.
After leaving the mediation with your own copy of the formal plan on how the three-year-old classroom’s management and safety procedures were going to be tweaked—with specific policies about biting and inter-student de-escalation—and a form that you and Mr. Qian had signed attesting that you participated in and were satisfied with the mediation process, you paused in the lobby of the school. You were juggling too many things: the papers, some of Woobin’s toys, Woobin, your purse, all while trying to get your car keys.
“Hey, you need some help?���
You turned to Mr. Qian with a strained smile, “No, thank you, we’re okay.”
Considering the conversation over, you went to set Woobin down on the ground, “Here, Binnie, wait right here next to Mommy.”
“Oh, glad to see his legs do work.” The man was apparently still there.
“Yes, they do.” You pressed your lips into a flat line, not very amused. “And I don’t appreciate the passive-aggressive comment on my parenting, Mr. Qian.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Your joke was referencing the fact that the entire time you’ve seen Woobin and me this afternoon, I’ve been either carrying him or holding him in my lap, despite the fact that he can stand on his own. You’ve been letting your son walk on his own all afternoon and haven’t picked him up once. Thus, implying that I’m coddling my son and raising him to be dependent on me, while you’re raising yours to be independent.” You tossed Woobin’s toys into your purse, then folded the papers in half to tuck in as well. “Trust me, I’ve dealt with lots of people thinking they can give me unwarranted advice on parenting. Especially men who think I’m going to give him one too many hugs and he’ll develop an Oedipus complex. They also presumably think that my uterus is roaming around my body causing me to become hysterical while I’m telling them off, too.”
Having finally fished your car keys out from the bottom of your purse, you hoisted Woobin back up into your arms, defiantly making eye contact with the father, “Goodbye, Mr. Qian.”
A couple weeks of uneventfully picking up Woobin from preschool passed by. You saw Mr. Qian in the lobby, or passed by him in the classroom, of course. But you made no moves to talk to or even acknowledge him, nor he you. Ms. Xu seemed genuinely apologetic about what happened, doing everything possible to ingratiate herself to you at every opportunity, chatting you up at pick-up, asking about your day at work, or telling you about how well Woobin did at curriculum or art or such during the day. Mrs. Chen was cordial, and did your requested weekly check-ins on how the implementation of the new procedures were coming along. You sincerely engaged with and thanked her after each update. After all, you wanted your relationship with your son’s teachers to be productive, not adversarial. As long as they were done lying to you.
Today when you went to pick up Woobin, he was contently sitting in his chair at a table, swinging his feet under him. You squatted down beside him, mussing up his hair a bit, “Hey, Binnie. Have a good day?”
“Yes,” he nodded, reaching out towards you, and you grabbed his hand. “Missed Mommy.”
“And I missed Binnie!” You replied, squeezing his little tummy, delighting in the bright little giggle he let out. “Now come on, bubbles, let’s go home.”
“Oh, Ms. Y/N!” Ms. Xu was suddenly at your side before you could stand up.
“Ah, hello, Ms. Xu, how are you?”
“I’m very excited, actually. But first, Woobin had a fantastic day at school today. He went down so easy for naptime, and he finished the curriculum so fast that we brought out a 4-year-old worksheet for him just to see, and he did that one too! It was some counting, and he did great!”
You turned to your son with a grin, “Did you have fun doing all that counting, Binnie?”
He nodded enthusiastically.
“And are you proud of yourself, bubbles?”
“Yes, Mommy. Can I have a high five?”
“You can have two high fives,” you held out both your palms for him to smack his little hands into.
Turning back to the teacher, you indulged her in the question she very clearly wanted you to ask, “And why are you so excited, Ms. Xu?”
She handed you the piece of paper in her hands, “Well, the Fall Festival is coming up. The entire campus pitches in to put it on, and this year the preschool is running the Bake Sale table. We’re asking parents to volunteer to either bring treats, set up, break down, or do a shift running the table. If you’re able.”
It looked like you were the first parent Ms. Xu had given the sign-up sheet to, all the slots were empty. Eight slots to bring different baked goods, and two slots for each hour-long shift. While you weren’t exactly feeling charitable to the school—Woobin’s bruise still hadn’t fully healed—you noticed the text at the top of the sign-up sheet advertising that any parent who volunteered would get two free ride tickets. Woobin hadn’t gone on his first Ferris Wheel yet, and that was a memory you were looking forward to making with him.
“The ride tickets—” You tapped that part of the paper to draw Ms. Xu’s attention to it. “Will there be a Ferris Wheel?”
Her face immediately lit up and she nodded fervently, “Yes! And Woobin should be just big enough as long as he sits in your lap.”
Well, you could kill an hour running a Bake Sale table with another random preschooler’s parent then take Woobin on the Ferris Wheel. You quickly scribbled down your name for the first hour after the set-up shift, then handed the paper back to Ms. Xu.
The day of the Fall Festival was upon you, and you were holding Woobin’s hand as you walked across the expansive campus grounds. The booth where the preschool’s Bake Sale was set up was near the other food and carnival games towards the front of the grassy clearing, and you could see the Ferris Wheel at the very back. You were about fifteen minutes early, and most vendors were still finishing setting up. Since you were doing the first shift, you wanted to make sure you weren’t late, as well as see if there was anything from set up that you could help with if needed.
The Bake Sale booth was easy to find, and you saw two men there carrying in large tubs filled with containers of various baked goods.
“Good morning!” You greeted them brightly. “Are you the set-up crew?”
“Johnny Suh,” the taller of the two gestured to himself, then to his companion, “Jeong Jaehyun.”
“Nice to meet you two, I’m Y/L/N Y/N, and this is Woobin. I’m on the first shift. Your kids are in the three-year-old class as well, right?”
“Yes, Sungchan,” Mr. Jeong confirmed with a smile. “I think I’ve seen you around the classroom at drop off and pick up before.”
“And Mark is my boy,” Mr. Suh nodded, then looked around the property. “Well, these are the last of it. Now, he should be around here somewhere…”
You followed Mr. Suh’s gaze, and your stomach dropped as you recognized two familiar figures approaching the table from the direction of the school. Qian Kun was holding a metal box in one hand, and his son’s hand with the other. He set the metal box down on the table.
“Sorry, had to get the money box from Mrs. Chen in the classroom,” he explained, then looked to the two men with you. “Thank you, Mr. Suh, Mr. Jeong. Ms. Y/L/N and I have got it from here.”
“Alright, we’ll see you at the end for break-down, then,” Mr. Suh slapped Mr. Qian’s shoulder in a friendly gesture.
“Goodbye, Ms. Y/L/N, Mr. Qian. You too, Woobin and Junyi!” Mr. Jeong gave waves to all four of you before taking off after the other man who was already several long strides away from the table. “Hey, Johnny!”
Two pop-up chairs were set up behind the table, and Mr. Qian grabbed a bag that was beside one, unfurling a playmat from the inside and laying it down on the ground beside the table. He poured out a bunch of toys too, then squatted down beside his son.
“Alright, Junyi, I need you to look at me. Daddy needs you to play on this blanket today, okay? If you need to go off the blanket, you have to tell Daddy first. It’s so we can stay safe. You cannot leave the blanket without telling Daddy. All your favorite toys are there, you’re going to play with them and have fun. I’ve got snacks and stuff, too. But you need to stay on it. Do you understand, Junyi?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Okay, can you please tell me what you’re going to do then?”
“I’m going to play on the blanket.”
“And what if you want to leave?”
“I ask Daddy.”
“Why?”
Junyi’s face screwed into a pout as he tried to remember. “I forgot, ‘m sorry…”
“That’s okay, buddy. It’s so we can be safe,” Mr. Qian repeated it for him. “Now, why are we going to stay on the blanket?”
“So we can be safe.”
“Good, buddy,” He ruffled his son’s hair. “Now go play, I’ll be right here at this table.”
The man stood up straight again, his eyes flicking over you briefly as he began organizing the sweets on the table.
“Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N. Woobin is welcome to play on the mat with Junyi during the shift, if you’re comfortable with that, of course.”
“Oh, thank you.” You led Woobin over to the mat as well. “Binnie, Mommy is going to be working for a while at this table. Your job is to stay on the playmat with Junyi, so that you two can stay safe, okay? You cannot leave the playmat without Mommy.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
“So tell me, what are you going to do?”
“Play with Junyi.”
“Where?”
“On the playmat.”
“Can you show Mommy what all the playmat is?”
He pointed to the edges of the yellow and blue blanket for you.
“And are you going to leave it without Mommy?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“So I can be safe.”
You grinned at him, “Thank you, bubbles. Go play, baby. Call for Mommy if you need me, okay?”
“Okay.”
After depositing a few more toys that you had brought along for Woobin on the mat, you returned to where Mr. Qian was setting out the food.
“Here,” he held a tray of brownies out to you. “These will go there, right in front of you.”
“Oh, got it.” You set them down exactly where he gestured. “So, you signed up for set up and the first shift?”
“I’m actually helping to run the Bake Sale, so I’m setting up, breaking down, and filling in for whichever slots nobody signed up for.”
“Wait, did you bake these, too?”
“Only the ones in containers with the green lids. Other parents contributed too.”
You looked over the baked goods he had indicated. All the ones in the green containers looked the best, you had considered in the back of your mind that one of the richer parents might have just bought them from a bakery and brought them in instead of baking themselves.
Sneaking a glance at the man beside you, you then panicked when you realized that he was already looking at you, expectantly holding out a plate of frosted sugar cookies.
“Here, next to the brownies.”
“Right, on it.”
Mr. Qian cleared his throat, “I am surprised, Ms. Y/L/N… that you’re allowing Woobin to play with Junyi.”
“I’ve also allowed him back at school for the past month, Mr. Qian.” You pointed out. “As I said, my issue has never been with Junyi, but with how the school handled the entire situation.”
“Hm.”
You let out a short sigh, “Though, I am sorry for some of the things I said at that meeting, they were out of line.”
“Some? May I inquire about which ones?”
“The chew toy thing…”
“Oh, yes.”
“And the whole ‘my concern over my child’s safety not being an affront to your relationship with yours.’ That was seriously… awful of me. Just so pretentious,” you breathed out, feeling ashamed as you relived your words. But if you were to ever expect to teach your son humility and owning up to his mistakes, you had to practice it yourself. “I said I wasn’t there to comment on your parenting and then I did exactly that in the exact same breath. I’m sorry, Mr. Qian, and I hope you can believe me when I say that.”
He held your gaze steadily, “I forgive you, Ms. Y/L/N.”
“Everything else I said, though, I stand by,” you reaffirmed pointedly.
“I understand,” he nodded.
You were pretty sure the festival had officially opened, as families had begun filtering in. Some were slowing down as they passed by your table to skim their eyes over your offerings, but none had stopped so far. So you were still just stuck there with Qian Kun and the overwhelming silence that felt like it was damn near suffocating you.
“So, what do you do for a living?” You finally decided to ask. If you weren’t going to be holding a grudge against the guy, you might as well make small talk.
“I’m in sales.”
Okay, small talk was not his forte. This was going to be like pulling teeth.
“Well it seems like they put the Bake Sale table in good hands, then.”
“What about you?” At least he understood reciprocity.
“Publishing.” Yeah, you weren’t any better than him. You stumbled to add on more information, “Uh, I’m a copy editor.”
“Is that like a proof reader?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
And at that moment, your blessed first customers walked up to your booth, a group of high school students, and you leapt at the opportunity to get out of that awkward conversation.
When your hour shift was finally over, you gleefully picked Woobin and his toys up from the playmat, took your two free ride tickets from Mr. Qian, and waved goodbye to him and the new volunteer parent who had shown up to take over your slot.
“Alright, Binnie, the Fall Festival is our oyster,” you looked it over with shining eyes. “What should we do first?”
Two hours later, and you were just finishing up your slightly late lunch. You scrolled through the delightful pictures that you’d taken of you and Woobin on the Ferris Wheel, sending a couple to your parents before tucking your phone away.
“Dessert sounds good, don’t you think?” You suggested to Woobin, and the Bake Sale popped into your mind. Those desserts that Mr. Qian made had looked really good, and you weren’t able to try any when you were working the table this morning…
“Please, Mommy?”
“You didn’t even need to ask, bubbles, Mommy wants some dessert too,” you admitted, taking his hand in yours. “I think we should go get some of those sweets that Junyi’s dad made. How does that sound? Did you see them earlier?”
There was a short line that you bumped up against at the Bake Sale table, just a couple families ahead of you. When you finally got to the front, your greeting to Mr. Qian stopped in your throat as you took in the empty spot beside him.
“Are you all by yourself, Mr. Qian?” You craned your neck to look around for signs of another parent.
He let out a tired sigh very clearly from deep within, eyes conveying a harrowed, ominous kind of exhaustion, “It seems as though the parent who signed up for the last four slots has skipped out on me. Been by myself for the past thirty minutes or so. I gave up on him about fifteen minutes ago.”
With a resolute nod, you hoisted your son up onto your hip and slid around to the other side of the table to stand beside Mr. Qian, “Binnie and I will finish the day out with you two then.”
“No, Ms. Y/L/N, you really don’t have to. I’m sure you have things to do, and I can run a preschool Bake Sale by myself.”
“Junyi! Come play with Woobin over here please!” You called after the little boy that you’d spotted toddling a little too far away from the playmat for comfort.
The man whipped around as his son came waddling back over at the sound of his name, clearly unaware that he had just wandered off. He squatted down to chastise the boy, reminding him to stay on the blanket. Junyi nodded, plopping down with his toys.
“I’m not leaving you out to dry, Kun,” you told the father frankly, sitting Woobin and his toys back down on the playmat too.
He gave you a frazzled smile, “Thanks, Y/N.”
Another couple hours passed by of you and Kun jointly running the Bake Sale table. Word had apparently spread since the first hour that you’d done with him in the morning, and the treats were extremely popular. Your line was never empty for more than a minute or two, and often times wrapped past other booths. Now you could see why Kun was so out of it when you had gotten there, he had been doing this by himself, even for just thirty minutes, with Junyi there.
The two of you fell into a symbiotic rhythm of taking orders, payment, handing out food, and keeping an eye on the two boys with you.
In a rare, brief lull between customers, you were caught off-guard when it was also quiet behind you. The telltale giggles, babbling, and nonsense conversation of Woobin and Junyi had faded out. You frowned thoughtfully as you finished rearranging the brownies in front of you, about to turn around to investigate anyway when a heart-wrenching wail pierced the still air. Immediately, you went to jerk around to comfort your crying Woobin, but were stopped in your tracks, so caught off-guard to see that it wasn’t your son sobbing. He was standing in front of Junyi, who was sat on the playmat, half-crying and half-screaming his head off.
Kun couldn’t get the cash in his hand into the register fast enough, and you rushed over to try to get Woobin to at least back up. Crowding Junyi definitely wasn’t going to help.
But you stopped as you realized that Woobin was talking to the other boy.
“Junyi, scary or boo-boo?” Woobin quietly asked him. After he didn’t get a reply, he asked again, “Scary or boo-boo?”
Junyi managed to blubber out, “Scary!”
Kun had finally arrived on the playmat while you watched on with wide, bewildered, and awestruck eyes as Woobin gave Junyi a big hug. The dad looked even more confused than you.
“What’s going on?”
You held up a finger for him to wait a moment, then turned to your son, “Binnie, do you know what happened to Junyi? Why is he having a scary cry?”
“Junyi fell down, Mommy,” he answered you dutifully.
“Okay, thank you,” you nodded to him. Looking at Kun, you explained, “Seems like Junyi just fell down. I don’t think he’s hurt, it just gave him a scare.”
“Daddy!” Junyi whimpered, and Kun gently extracted him from the other toddler’s arms to bring him into his own. Cradling his son, Kun murmured soft reassurances to him as the boy clung to his neck.
“Uh, thank you, Woobin,” he nodded to your son. “I’ve got Junyi from here.”
“You’re welcome,” Woobin replied, but you could see the moistness gathering in his eyes too. Oh, your big-hearted kid.
Both you and Kun brought your respective kids back to the table with you, sitting in the pop-up chairs with them in your laps. The two of you were quiet until Junyi’s sobs had simmered down into little hiccups, and you could feel that Woobin’s breathing had evened out into a nap.
“Okay, how did you do that?” Kun whispered at you.
“Do what?” You replied just as quietly.
“Get Woobin to do what he just did.”
“By asking him the exact same question pretty much every single time he’s cried for the past three years,” you answered honestly. “And he didn’t use to even answer me, much less ask other people that. That’s the first time he’s ever done that, actually.”
“Huh…”
Mr. Suh and Mr. Jeong came back an hour and a half later to help break down the table. It had been a pretty successful endeavor, if you did say so yourself, as there were only a handful of treats left, which you and Kun offered to a group of high schoolers who came by after break-down.
With everything packed up except the cash drawer, Kun turned to you with finality, “I’ve just got to drop this off with the front office and that’ll be it. Thanks, Y/N. You and Woobin were a big help today.”
“Of course. Sorry about that parent who skipped out on you. Who was it, anyway?”
“A… Mr. Nakamoto?” Kun read off the paper. “I’ve never heard of him.”
“I think I’ve chatted with him in the lobby a couple times. His son’s in the two-year-old class if I remember correctly?” You strained your memory, then gave up. “Oh, whatever. Maybe he just had an emergency or something.”
“That’s one way to look at it.”
“Anyway, have a goodnight, Kun, Junyi,” you nodded to the two of them, then squeezed your son’s hand. “Binnie, we’re leaving, do you want to say something to Junyi and Mr. Qian?”
Your son perked up, giving the two of them a bright smile and big wave, “Goodbye!”
“Junyi?” Kun prompted his son from where he was tucked into the father’s chest. “Tell Ms. Y/L/N and Woobin goodbye, you won’t see Woobin until Monday.”
“Bye, Woobin. Bye… Ms. Y/L/N.” Junyi said in between yawns, rubbing at his eyes. Poor guy seemed absolutely tuckered out.
“Goodnight,” Kun gave you one last nod before heading towards the school, and you and Woobin took off towards your car.
Monday morning you released Woobin’s hand to let him scamper into his classroom, giving Ms. Xu a wave of acknowledgement as you signed the morning drop-off sheet by the door. You were about to take off for work when a hand grabbed your elbow, and you hadn’t even realized that Ms. Xu had approached you, all too focused on heading to work.
“Ms. Y/N!”
“Ah, Ms. Xu, good morning,” you greeted her. “Is something the matter?”
“No, I just wanted to thank you for pitching in with the Bake Sale on Saturday. Mr. Qian informed us that he wouldn’t have been able to pull it off without your help.”
You looked around for Kun. You were only able to spot Junyi, however, coloring with Woobin at a table. Seems like he’d already come and gone. Great, now you had a reputation for being a helpful mom.
You shook off both her hand and her praise, “Oh, really Mr. Qian is exaggerating. He works in sales, did you know? Honestly didn’t need my help.”
“Well, whatever you two did, it was our most successful Bake Sale—well, any kind of fundraising event—for the preschool ever! And, we were wondering if the two of you would consider getting more involved in some parent leadership positions at the school? The preschool PTA have been trying to get a fundraising committee off the ground, and we really think that you two would do a fantastic job spearheading—”
You must have had some kind of look on your face, as Ms. Xu suddenly stopped dead in the middle of her sentence, entirely switching trains of thought. Keeping her same peppy tone and bright, hopeful smile, she said, “I am so sorry to have thrown so much at you. You must have to be getting to work. Why don’t we talk about it later when you come pick Woobin up? All of us, Mr. Qian, too. Goodbye, Ms. Y/N!”
And with that you were ushered out of the door, utterly dumbfounded at what had just happened.
That afternoon, you squared your shoulders and steeled your nerves as you approached the preschool doors. You had to keep your resolution firm: you were absolutely not going to be joining any sort of PTA, fundraising committee, or parent leadership position. The only thing that you were going to be spearheading was cracking open the bottle of wine that was waiting for you at your apartment tonight.
You were a little earlier than you usually were for pick-up, which you had done on purpose, needing to clear the air with a certain Mr. Qian Kun. Immediately homing in on the man, you made a beeline for him. He noticed you, his friendly hand falling as he seemed to notice the set of your brow.
“Good afternoon, Y—”
“Qian Kun,” you cut him off sternly. “Do you care to tell me why I was voluntold for a position spearheading a fundraising committee this morning?”
“Oh, that. Look, it came as a surprise to me too,” he tried to assuage you.
“Why the hell did my name even come out of your mouth in such a discussion in the first place?”
“Because they were praising me on how well the Bake Sale went, and I was making sure you got the credit that you deserved too. Are you upset about that? If so, I’m sorry? I guess?”
“You listen to the words coming out of my mouth: I will be a PTA mom over your dead body,” you hissed, scooching in to take the spot on the bench beside him and free up more standing space for the parents coming in.
“Okay, let’s take a step back from the threats, maybe, Y/N,” Kun suggested, holding his hands up in both a defensive and ‘are you kidding me?’ gesture. “What’s so awful about being a PTA parent in the first place?”
“Free labor for so little reward, and I don’t have the time for that. Do you?”
“We haven’t even heard their proposal; we don’t know what they’d be wanting us to do.”
“‘Spearheading a committee’ sounds like a part-time job at least.”
“Alright, well, didn’t Ms. Xu tell you that you and I held the most successful fundraising event the preschool’s ever had? And that wasn’t even with us making a concerted effort, either, that was just some random mid-grade effort Bake Sale. Imagine what we could do if we really go for it.”
“You work in sales, huh?” You deadpanned after his little pitch was finished. The one-year-old class opened for dismissal, and you leaned in towards him to continue your fervent conversation in a more hushed voice, “And can’t even realize when you’re the one being sold to! You do know that this campus has a bunch of filthy rich donors, right? They’re not hard pressed for cash, they just give the high school priority, then the middle school, primary, and the preschool gets the leftovers—if there’s even any—forcing it to have to fundraise for itself.”
“Isn’t that all the more reason to do this, then?” Kun pushed back.
“We could do a hundred Bake Sales and it wouldn’t make up the difference between the scraps the preschool gets and the millions that the high school does. No, it would be all the more reason for us to go find our own filthy rich donor who would put a stipulation on their donation for it to be used exclusively for the preschool.”
“Oh.”
“You’ve got to think bigger about this, Kun,” you knocked on his forehead with two of your knuckles as best you could in the narrow space between the two of you. “God. You said you work in sales, what do you even do?”
He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly, red tinging the tips of his ears, “Would you believe me if I said I’m a Director of Sales?”
“No,” you snorted.
“That’s fair.”
“So anyway, glad we’re on the same page about saying no to this.” You went to lean away from him and put some pep back into your tone, watching as the two-year-old class was dismissed next.
“What? I—” he looked around, it was only the three-year-old parents left in the lobby now. You sighed, scooting back over to sit shoulder-to-shoulder again for him to be able to continue in a hushed voice, “I thought we were going to find a donor for the preschool.”
“You want us to go in there, and say yes to leading the preschool PTA’s fundraising committee on the condition that its sole mission is to stage a coup within the financial hierarchy of the campus?”
“Okay well when you say it like that—”
“I’m in.” You grinned at him. “As long as you were being serious about the Director of Sales thing.”
“I was,” he fished out a business card from his wallet to hand to you.
Qian Kun, Director of Sales, WeiShen, Inc.
And below that was his email, office phone line, and fax number. You gave it back to him.
“Perfect. Those connections will come in handy.”
The door to the three-year-old classroom swung open just then, and you got to your feet.
“Alright, Mr. Qian, ready to go start the cutest coup the world has ever seen?” You offered your hand to him.
He stood up alongside you, giving your hand a firm shake, “Yes, absolutely, Ms. Y/L/N. They’ll never know what hit them.”
While Mrs. Chen and Ms. Xu were definitely caught off-guard by your idea, after getting over their initial shock, they were surprisingly on-board with it. They requested that you two bring in a more formal proposal to the next preschool PTA meeting— next Wednesday. That gave you nine days.
“So how did you know all that, about the donors and distribution structure of the funds?” Kun asked as you walked out into the empty preschool lobby.
“I did my research before picking a preschool for Woobin. It’s all there on the Internet if you dig deep enough, and are somewhat adept at reading through the legal bull—” You cut yourself off, looking down at the two toddlers with you. Kun pushed the front door open for you, and you quietly thanked him as you led Woobin through it before resuming your train of thought, “It’s obviously not in any of the advertising stuff for prospective parents, but for prospective donors, investors; the corporate materials.”
The four of you stopped in front of the building, where the small parking lot was.
“So then why did you enroll him here, even knowing about how they treat the preschool with the donations?”
“The high school is the best in the area, and the easiest way to guarantee admission is to graduate in from their middle school. Easiest way to get into the middle school is to graduate in from the primary school.”
“And the easiest way into the primary school is through the preschool,” the dad surmised.
“Bingo. I’m keeping Binnie’s options open,” you squeezed your son’s hand affectionately. “He doesn’t have to go there, but I’m making sure he can if he wants.”
Kun’s eyebrows shot up, “Wow. That’s some really forward thinking.”
You tilted your head curiously, “So why’d you choose to send Junyi here?”
“It was the closest to my place.”
“Practical, that’s more than fair.”
“Speaking of, Junyi and I should get going, we have to pick up a couple things from the store for dinner tonight and buddy already looks like he’s not going to last the two block walk there.” He looked down at his son, who was very quiet, glassy eyes fixed on his feet.
You nodded in understanding, “Of course, Binnie and I have a wine night planned.”
“I’m sorry, a what?”
“Oh, Binnie gets grape juice and I have red wine in matching cups. He likes to feel included.”
“Does he get a matching kiddie charcuterie board too?” Kun chuckled to himself as he hoisted Junyi up onto his hip.
“No, he just takes what he wants off of mine.”
He gave you a blank stare, “I can’t tell if you’re pulling my leg or not.”
“Look, he insists on trying whatever I have, and he ends up liking a lot of it,” you shrugged. “He’s the only 3-year-old I know who asks for tapenade as a snack.”
“You’re being serious?” He checked again.
“Yes,” you laughed. Then, before you knew it, the next words coming out of your mouth were, “You know, you and Junyi should join Binnie and I for a charcuterie night. I’ll prepare actual kid-friendly stuff, too, for Junyi.”
Kun’s head jerked back just the slightest, and he blinked a couple times before asking, “Uh, just you and Woobin?”
“Yeah, is— Would that, uh, be a problem?” The offer had felt perfectly normal and natural for you to make in the moment, but his reaction was making you second guess and stammer. You rushed to tack on, “We can— It’ll be for the fundraising committee, you know.”
“Right, right, of course.” His voice was filled with shaky relief.
“Of course,” you echoed, offering a strained smile.
“As long as that’s not a problem for—for you.”
“Why would it be a problem for me? I invited you.”
“I don’t— That sounds great, thank you, Y/N.”
Desperately wanting to get out of the plane crash that you had inadvertently taken this conversation into, you readjusted your purse on your shoulder decidedly, “Of course. Uhm, well, we won’t hold you two up from the store anymore, it looks like Junyi’s about to fall asleep on you right now. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Kun looked down at Junyi’s head that had been resting against his chest, the boy’s eyes beginning to flutter shut, “Oh, God, there he goes. Bye, Y/N, Woobin!”
And the man was around the corner before Woobin could even lift his little hand to wave.
“So what’s the big deal, Y/N?”
“Well because I feel stupid now, Sooyoung,” you ranted to your friend over the phone that night as you washed up the dishes from dinner. “It felt like I was maybe finally getting my first like, parent friend, you know? And then he got all weird as soon as I invited him to hang out. I wasn’t being weird, was I? It was practically a playdate invite!”
Woobin had been put to bed a few minutes ago, and you were recounting the horrible nosedive that your conversation with Kun had taken, needing to know that you weren’t crazy.
“Y/N…” Sooyoung’s voice was patient as it came through your speakers. “Now, I can only guess, because I am, as we know, not a parent friend. But… is he married?”
“Huh?” The plate in your hand nearly slipped out of your soapy grip.
“Wedding ring, seen one?”
You wracked your brain, trying to remember if you’d ever really looked at Kun’s hands that closely, “Uh, not that I can remember?”
“Okay. You ever met the mom?”
“No, it’s always Kun who picks Junyi up.”
“Has a mom or another parent or partner ever been mentioned at all?”
“Sooyoung, the point,” you requested sternly, having a sneaking suspicion as to what it was.
“I’m just saying, maybe he got all weird because he thought you were flirting.”
“Oh my God,” you sighed and ran a hand through your hair before realizing that it was still soapy. “God damn it!”
“Y/N?”
You grabbed some paper towels to clean the suds off your head, “Yeah, still here, sorry.”
“Anyway… is he cute?”
“SooSoo, I don’t even think I could flirt on purpose at this point,” you chuckled cynically, going back to your chore. “That muscle’s long shriveled up. I just need to time skip to being married with two kids, I think.”
Your friend laughed along with you, “Fair. But, that doesn’t sound like a no. Kinda sounds like avoiding the question, actually.”
“Sooyoung.”
“Ooh, you gonna send me to my room?” She taunted you, and you could hear her pout through the phone. “Put me in time out?”
“You’d like that, you little freak,” you snickered, picking up your next dish.
That Saturday afternoon you and Woobin had welcomed Kun and Junyi into your apartment with giddy nerves. Woobin was excited, and you were excited for him. This would be pretty much his first playdate with a kid that he wasn’t related to. And you had all the nerves, as this was your first time having a parent friend over, too. Not to mention that Sooyoung’s words were still bouncing around in the back of your head. When Kun held out a bottle of red wine to you with his left hand, you looked extra hard at his fingers— yep, no ring.
“Oh, Kun, you didn’t have to,” you took it from him gladly, ushering the two of them further into your home.
“You’re hosting and making us a charcuterie board. I figured wine was appropriate,” he explained.
“Well, thank you. This is perfect.”
Woobin was right where you’d left him in the living room on his playmat among his toys.
“Binnie,” you said, waiting until he looked up at you before continuing, “Mr. Qian and Junyi are here, so we’re going to eat now, remember?”
He nodded, immediately standing up and beginning to shovel toys off to one side of his mat. You helped him slide the mat to the corner of the room.
“Uh, we’re just going to eat around the coffee table, if that’s alright,” you explained, gesturing to the cleared table in the middle of the living room.
“Yeah, of course,” Kun nodded.
“Great, great. Dining table kind of has a partially built LEGO set on it right now,” you chuckled as you set the wine bottle down. “I’m going to grab everything from the kitchen, be back in a second.”
“Oh, I’ll help.”
“No, that’s okay, I’ve already got a little helper,” you held a hand out expectantly towards your son. Woobin immediately grabbed your hand, looking up at you. You gave Kun a quick smile, “Be back in a sec.”
In the kitchen, you handed Woobin his spill-proof cup, then another for Junyi. You fit two wine glasses by the stems and a corkscrew in one hand, and grabbed the charcuterie board with the other. Gently nudging your toddler ahead of you, the two of you headed back out to the living room, where your guests were waiting.
Kun and Junyi had sat down on one side of the table, and you gently placed the food down in front of them, then one wine glass in front of Kun. You looked to your son, who handed the correct cup to Junyi.
“It’s just water,” you informed the dad. “We have juice too, if he can have it. I never know about allergies and the like so I didn’t want to assume.”
“Juice?” Woobin looked up at you with wide eyes.
“Yours is already grape juice, Binnie,” you informed him with a head pat.
Kun rubbed his son’s back, “Water’s fine for him, he had a juice box this morning. Thanks.”
You and Woobin sat opposite from the father and son, Woobin immediately clambering into your lap. As you went to uncork the wine, Kun looked over the board in front of you all. You had made sure to prepare some kid-friendly options in one corner in addition to your usual refined spread.
“This all looks fantastic, Y/N. Thank you, seriously,” Kun smiled, and you swore that was the first time you’d noticed a deep dimple appear on both of his cheeks.
You poured first for him, then yourself, “Of course. Thank you two for coming over, Woobin and I were both excited to host for someone. Right, Binnie?”
“What, Mommy?” Woobin looked up at you with a scrunched nose.
“‘Host.’” You repeated the unfamiliar word for him, then clarified your question, “Are you excited to have Junyi and Mr. Qian over?”
“Oh! Yes!” He nodded his head so fast you could feel the rest of his little body shake in your lap. “Can I show Junyi my room, Mommy?”
“After you two eat some, okay?”
“Okay!”
“Did you hear that, Junyi? After you eat, you and Woobin can play.” Kun gently prodded his son, then looked up at you apologetically when all the child did was yawn. “Sorry, he just woke up from a nap before coming over.”
“That’s okay,” you giggled, cutting off a piece of cheese and pressing it onto a cracker, then making another serving of the same cheese and cracker. You handed one to Woobin, keeping the other for yourself.
Woobin eagerly took a bite of the cheese and cracker you’d given him, washing it down with his grape juice.
Kun offered a bear-shaped cookie out to Junyi, who shook his head. The dad sighed, and pointed at a banana slice, then blueberry, then cheddar cheese slice that you’d cut into small star shapes. They all got head shakes.
“Are you hungry at all, buddy?”
“Yes!”
“Then what do you want? Ms. Y/L/N made sure to put out all that food just for you. I don’t think you want what Daddy is eating, buddy. It’s grown-up food.”
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, unsure of if you should speak up. It seemed like they both needed help, but you weren’t one to try to interject your own parenting if it wasn’t asked for.
Junyi squirmed in his dad’s arms for a moment before mumbling, “But Woobin’s eating it…”
Meanwhile Woobin had in fact helped himself to a kalamata olive, pre-pitted, happily munching away.
Kun seemed at a loss, rubbing at his brow, and you finally decided to jump in.
“Junyi, you can try some, too,” you told him encouragingly, leaning forward and reaching over the board. “Do you want to try the cheese Woobin was eating or the olive he just had? Or both?”
“Cheese, please.”
You cut off a small piece of the gouda, “Here you go.”
He took it in his small hands, “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.”
You watched in amusement as Junyi ate the cheese, his features lighting up.
“Did you like it?”
“Yes! Can I try the olive?”
“Hey…” Kun’s voice held a slight warning as he pinched his son’s side.
“Can I try the olive please?”
“Thank you.” The dad patted the boy’s head before reaching around him for the glass of wine on the table.
You handed him an olive, both you and Kun watching with interest as he popped it into his mouth whole. Junyi’s face immediately screwed up in disgust. Without missing a beat, Kun held up a cupped palm with another short sigh, letting his son spit the food back out. Trying to hold back your giggles, you handed the dad a napkin.
“Thanks,” he accepted it, depositing the olive into the paper, and wiping his hand off.
After some more broadening of Junyi’s horizons—to mixed results—the board was mostly clear, and the kids had declared themselves full.
“Can I show Junyi my room now?” Woobin asked excitedly.
“Sure, Binnie. You two can go play,” you nodded, and he immediately scrambled off your lap. You held out a hand for him to use to balance himself as you kept talking, “Mr. Qian and I have some work to do, so we’ll be in here if you need us, okay?”
“Okay!” Both toddlers said in unison.
“Hey, look here,” Kun stopped his son before he could leave the room. The father waited until the boy was looking him in the eye before continuing, “Remember what we talked about before coming over? All week?”
Junyi nodded fervently.
“Good. Go have fun, buddy,” he ruffled his son's hair.
You watched the two of them speedwalk out excitedly, Woobin explaining the house rule of not being allowed to run because it’s not safe as they went.
Then it was just you and Kun. Sooyoung’s words echoed in the back of your mind.
“Alright, let me grab my laptop, then we can get to work,” you declared, getting to your feet.
A few hours later and the two of you had made good progress, only interrupted by the kids a few times here and there, mostly them wanting to show off toys or coloring pages, or Junyi had wandered in at one point seemingly just to make sure Kun was still there.
You had been adding something to your word document of notes when you realized that your house had been eerily quiet for too long. Fingertips hovering over the keys, you exchanged a suspicious look with Kun.
“Too quiet?” He asked knowingly.
“Yeah…” You frowned, setting your computer aside to get up.
Both of you treaded through your home until you got to Woobin’s bedroom. The door was open, and you were alarmed for a moment when you didn’t see either boy anywhere on the floor playing. Until you recognized two lumps under the covers of his toddler bed, Woobin and Junyi looking like they were going to sleep for the next hundred years or so.
“Oh, god, I am so sorry,” Kun shook his head, seeming about to go in there and grab his son.
You were between him and the room, however, and quickly turned the lights off and shut the door. “It’s okay, Kun. They just tuckered themselves out. That’s good.”
Latching onto his elbow, you pulled him back towards the living room, catching a glance at the time on the microwave as you went through the kitchen.
“Damn, it’s not even Binnie’s normal bedtime yet,” you chuckled.
You didn’t let go of Kun until you had pulled him back down onto the couch, and then held his (second) glass of wine back out to him pointedly. He had a fond smile as he took it from you, and you happily accepted your victory as you picked yours back up too. You left your laptop on the coffee table, shifting to entirely face Kun as you raised your glass to your lips.
Kun took a sip.
You took a sip.
“Do you want to ask me something, Y/N?” Kun scratched the back of his neck.
“Mm, sorry,” you apologized with a chuckle. “I zoned out on your face there, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, a bit,” he laughed.
“I was thinking, though.”
“What about?”
“You’re a Director of Sales…”
“Supposedly.”
“Supposedly,” you repeatedly humorously before moving on with your question. “Do you think we’ve got a good chance at getting a donor for the preschool? If our proposal is approved by the PTA on Wednesday, of course.”
You had expected some kind of business musings, or serious answer from Kun, but instead you watched with concern as his brow furrowed, his fingers drummed along his knee, and he suddenly became fidgety, shifting around in his seat. He stayed quiet, once again scratching at the back of his neck, squinting one eye closed, then the other.
“Kun?” You said his name hesitantly.
“Sorry,” he shot you a familiar, frazzled smile that reminded you of when he was getting overwhelmed at the Bake Sale booth by himself. “I uhm, I don’t know.”
“That’s okay,” you reassured him. “I was just curious, it’s not life or death that you know everything all the time.”
He didn’t even seem to hear you as he stood up, setting his wine glass down on the table. The dad began pacing back and forth in front of your couch, his hands laced together behind his neck.
“I’m good at my job.”
You would’ve sworn he wasn’t talking to you, except his wide, stressed eyes snapped up to you after he said that.
“I’m not your boss. You don’t need to convince me, Kun,” you said slowly.
“I know, just— with all this, it’s stuff that I should be good at, it’s right up my alley. But it’s for Junyi, and I want to be the best dad I can be for him that I just end up jumping into doing things without actually thinking about them first because other people are telling me that’s what I need to do to be a good dad. I know how to be a good Director of Sales. I don’t know how to be a good dad.”
“You don’t need to know everything,” you reiterated strongly, hoping he actually listened this time. “I don’t know all the secrets for being a good mom. I just know how to be Woobin’s mom. You don’t need to know all the secrets to being the best dad ever. The only thing you need to worry about is being Junyi’s dad. Does that seem a bit more manageable?”
Kun’s pacing slowed to a stop in front of you, “Well, I guess.”
“So, the next time somebody is trying to sell you on some ‘Dad Thing,’ stop, breathe, and think: Is this what I, Qian Kun, as Junyi’s dad, need to do, to be?”
“Okay…” he looked at you skeptically, closing his eyes for a moment. You watched as his shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath.
“…Are you doing it right now?”
“Well how else am I supposed to decide if this is a good thing to do or not?”
You let out a hearty laugh, “No, that’s perfect, Kun, go ahead.”
He closed his eyes again, and you watched with fond amusement as his eyebrows quirked up and down with his thoughts. You took another sip of your wine before he had finished, and he opened his eyes once more, giving you a firm nod, “Okay, yes, I think that’s a thing that Junyi would need me to do.”
“Great,” you smiled at him, tilting your wine glass out to him.
He picked his back up and clinked it to yours in a little cheers. You tipped the remainder of your drink back in one go.
“Oh, that was good,” you declared. “Thanks, Kun.”
“Of course, Y/N. Thank you for inviting us.”
“Like I said, Binnie and I were both really excited to host,” you took your empty glass into the kitchen to start cleaning up. “I don’t know if this is bad, but he hasn’t really had a lot of play dates that weren’t like his cousins or something.”
“Junyi neither,” Kun admitted.
“It’s hard, isn’t it?” You asked, starting to stack the plates. “Kid, and work, and family, and friends, and everything else. And then you’re supposed to be in charge of your kid’s social life too?”
You’d turned your back on him to bring the plates into the kitchen, expecting to hear his response to your question, but you were just met with silence. After depositing the dishes in the kitchen, you walked back out to the living room, alarmed to see that Kun had taken to pacing again.
Keeping a calm demeanor yourself, you kept going about your task, grabbing the charcuterie board, the last thing that needed to be tidied up. You had just started back towards the kitchen when Kun broke his silence.
“Junyi’s mother left us.”
You were so glad you had your back to Kun so he couldn’t see your rueful wince. Oh, you were so going to regret this.
Relaxing your features into a more sympathetic frown, you turned around to face him, “I’m very sorry to hear that, Kun.”
This was going to be a lot, you could sense it, so you set the charcuterie board back down on your breakfast bar.
“So just know that however hard it is for you and Woobin’s dad, it’s like ten times harder for me, and that’s why I’m always—”
You had stopped listening to him, however, your brain turning to white noise after the phrase ‘Woobin’s dad.’
“Wait, do you think I’m married?” You blurted out over him.
“Well, no, I can see that you don’t have a ring,” Kun gestured down to your hands. “But a boyfriend or another significant other. I’m doing this solo and—”
“I’m a single parent too!”
“What?” He seemed dumbfounded.
You couldn’t tell if you wanted to laugh or cry more at how ridiculous this was.
“Woobin’s dad was a one-night stand! I can’t remember the guy’s name, or what he looks like. Couldn’t find him if I wanted to. I don’t have a partner now, either. What on Earth made you think I was anything other than a single mom? You’re in my home!” You gestured around wildly to where there were multiple pictures of your family, of you and Woobin, but none of you, Woobin, and any man that could reasonably be considered his father.
“Well you’re just— you’ve got— at the meeting— you’re so put together,” Kun stammered out, his voice getting smaller and smaller. He ran a hand through his hair, “You’re not falling apart at the seams like I am.”
“Kun.” You grabbed him by the shoulders, stopping his frenzied pacing. “Look me in the eye.”
It wasn’t really like he had a choice, you were now holding his face just a couple inches from yours, but he still followed your command.
“Good,” you praised him, keeping your voice soothing. “I want you to take three deep breaths with me.”
He followed along as you inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, and finally exhaled again together.
“Alright, thank you,” your voice was still sweet and calm as you ran your hands back down to his shoulders. “Now… why the fuck do you think I am more put together than you, Qian Kun?”
“Everything,” he breathed out, hanging his head.
“God, Kun,” you sighed, seizing him by the wrist. “Come on.”
You led him into your dining room, where there was in fact a half-built LEGO set on your dining room table. But that wasn’t your goal. On the bookshelf in there, you grabbed a specific picture frame, and took it and Kun back to the living room.
Sitting down side-by-side with Kun on the couch, you held the picture out in front of the two of you. It was of you and Woobin just over three years ago now, the first night you came home from the hospital. Your mother had taken it. He was swaddled in his baby blue blanket, all chubby cheeks, and you looked dead tired, but an excited sparkle was still in your eyes as you grinned down at your son.
“Look, Kun. I used to feel like that too. All the time. Almost every day when I was pregnant,” you relayed to him.
“But not anymore?” He questioned hesitantly.
“Sometimes. But not like before. Because I realized that I’m not doing this by myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“I may be a single mom, but I’m not alone, I have Binnie. And isn’t that the whole point? To be there for them? To make sure they know they’re not doing it alone either?”
Kun was quiet, his eyes still focused on the picture.
You continued, “I’m lucky enough to have my parents as a good support system, and some friends I can call up in case of emergency too. But I remember when I found out I was going to have Woobin, and I decided to keep him, I was scared of doing it by myself. Terrified, might be a better word.”
“When I came home from the hospital with him, my mom stayed with us for the first couple weeks.” You tapped the frame. “And the first night after she left, when it really was just the two of us, I was expecting this overwhelming sense of loneliness, and instead I just felt… full. I know I had all those birthing hormones in me, oxytocin and whatnot, but I looked down at him and I realized I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t ever going to be in all this because I have Binnie.”
“I’ve never thought about it like that,” Kun finally spoke again.
Thinking about your cousin’s approach to parenting, you guessed, “You’ve always thought about him as the adversary?”
“Not exactly. Junyi’s more like a tiny roommate that I have to dress and feed and keep from accidentally dying.”
“I’d love to see pizza and beer night at your place.” You joked, laughing when you managed to get a small smile out of Kun again. “Does Junyi get his in a sippy?”
“You jest, but I have poured myself two fingers of whiskey into a Winnie the Pooh sippy cup before because it was the only clean drinking vessel we had.” He rubbed at his temples, then clarified, “With the lid off.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” You patted his back, reaching across him to set the frame down on the side table by another one that was displayed there.
“Thanks, Y/N.” Kun’s eyes followed you as you sat back down, suddenly much closer than you remembered being before. Or were you just more aware of your proximity?
He patted your knee. “Seriously, that made me feel a lot better.”
“Of—” You cleared your throat to get rid of the squeak that was now in your voice. “Of course.”
Your skin tingled. Holy shit, you’d only had two glasses of wine spread across several hours, there was no way you should even be remotely buzzed. Kun was still looking at you. Were his eyes always this dark, this inviting?
God, he really was handsome. You’d always known that, thought that, since the moment you saw him in the lobby of the preschool. But something about now, having him in your home, so close, alone, you felt like you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He wet his lips seemingly instinctually, and for a moment your brain short-circuited.
“Daddy?” A small voice made both you and Kun jump in your seats. You bit your tongue in surprise, hissing in pain as you and the dad simultaneously scooted away from each other. Junyi was standing at the threshold of the living room, rubbing one of his eyes sleepily.
“Hey, buddy.” Kun waved his son over with a smile. “Is everything okay?”
Junyi walked over, stopping in front of his dad, a small pout on his face. “I woke up and didn’t see you...”
“Oh, buddy,” Kun rubbed the toddler’s back. “Sounds like it’s about time for us to go home, huh?”
You smiled at the both of them, hoping they couldn’t see how frazzled you felt through it. “Of course, it’s late. I think we’re uh, we’re all tired. Junyi, is Woobin awake?”
The boy shook his head no.
“Okay, thank you.” You stood up, grabbing the wine glasses as Kun picked his son up.
You sent them off with a quick goodbye at your front door, and let out a deep sigh of relief once you’d closed it behind them. There weren’t many dishes to take care of in the kitchen, but you still took your time scrubbing at them, then tiptoed down the hall to check in on your son. He was in fact sound asleep, and you quietly went to retire in your own room for the night.
Except once you were in your own bed, sleep didn’t find you easy. You still saw Kun whether your eyes were open or closed, and you could feel the ghost of his warm hand on your skin. You rolled over into the center of the empty expanse of your bed, burying your face in your pillow, and let out a groan. You so needed to get laid. That’s all this was, you had set aside your own needs for your family’s and as soon as you saw one attractive guy, you couldn’t function. There were more important things to focus on with Kun, like the fundraising.
And so you went to sleep with thoughts of spreadsheets, Kun’s dark eyes, numbers, Kun’s warm hands on you, fundraising pitches, and Qian Kun running through your mind.
The fundraising pitch was a hit. Yours and Kun’s PTA committee was approved at the very same meeting, and you two were made co-directors effective immediately.
Afterwards, you, Kun, Woobin, and Junyi all walked out together, and while Kun seemed to be basking in the exhilaration of success, you were shell-shocked with a harrowing realization.
“Y/N?” Kun gently touched your arm, voice tinged with concern.
You looked up at him, horrified. “I’m a PTA mom now, aren’t I?”
He seemed to be holding back his laughter as he patted your shoulder. “I think you are. My condolences. Please don’t kill me.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think I can dispose of my co-director so easily now.”
He was grinning at you. “Ah, didn’t realize that title came with such high protections.”
You rolled your eyes, but found your mood lifting anyway. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, you mentioned that you had something exciting, but only if we got approval?”
“Right!” Kun let go of Junyi’s hand to reach into the interior pocket of his suit jacket. He retrieved a crisp cream envelope, about the size of his hand. His name was embossed on the front of it in gold lettering.
You looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “You got a wedding invite?”
“Close.” He opened the envelope, holding out the contents to you. You set Woobin down, murmuring a quiet request for him to stay by you all so you could take the card in both your hands. The front of the card had an unfamiliar crest on it, and you opened it to read the inside.
‘The United Publishing Society is honored to invite Mr. Qian Kun and a guest to their 89th Annual Benefactor Gala’
And below that was the date, time, location, and dress code. Black tie formal.
“A fancy networking event?” You questioned, handing it back to him.
“No,” he shook his head very seriously. “These are all the old industry bigwigs who want to get together without all that schmoozy networking and ladder-climbing stuff going on. You and I are probably going to be the youngest ones there by a couple decades.”
“Wait you and me?”
“Yep. ‘Mr. Qian Kun and a guest.’” He recited off the invite. “You’re my guest.”
“Uhm...”
“I happen to know that one of the guys attending is also on the board of a non-profit that donates exclusively to children’s causes. Building pediatric cancer centers, juvenile intervention centers, the whole nine. I think he’ll be our best bet for a donor.”
You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “But you just said they want to get together without networking and all that kind of stuff. Why would we be any different?”
“It’s a charity gala, they’re already there to write checks anyway. We’re not going to be asking him for a job.”
It’s not you were exactly overflowing with any options. “When was that again?”
“What do we think?” You did a spin for your small audience of Woobin and Sooyoung. “Good enough for black tie formal?”
Tonight was the night of the gala Kun was taking you along to, and you sort of felt like you were going to throw up. And pass out. In that order. First of all, you had never been to a gala, you couldn’t remember if you had ever gone to something with a black tie formal dress code (you literally had to go out and buy this outfit), not to mention that you felt awful for having to ask your friend to babysit. But unfortunately your parents were out of town and all of your normal babysitters were busy. Sooyoung had already let you (jokingly) know that this was under duress, and that you owed her—despite turning down the money you offered her.
Sooyoung wolf-whistled at you, and you gave her a pointed look. Not the example you wanted to set for your son. Woobin looked up from his toys at the sound, and clapped for you.
“You look great, Y/N!” Your friend reassured you, and you were thankful that she reigned her mouth in around your kid. Typically, you would’ve gotten a much more explicit compliment from her. “Should be good for black tie. I mean, it’s not like you have any other option, right?”
“Right...” You groaned, turning back towards your room. “Hold on, let me put the shoes on so you can see those.”
You were sitting on your bed pulling your shoes on when you heard your doorbell ring. Your stomach dropped as you looked over at the time on your bedside clock. Shit, Kun was early. You should’ve anticipated that from the last time he was here.
“Soo! Can you get the door? I’m still putting my shoes on!” You yelled out through the apartment.
“Yep!” She called back.
You could vaguely hear the muffled voices of Sooyoung and Kun—and even Woobin at one point—but you were too focused on tugging your goddamn shoes on to care much about what they were saying. Just as you were finally standing up and straightening out your outfit, Sooyoung speedwalked into your bedroom, Woobin in her arms.
She had a smile filled with devilish delight on her face as she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially to you, “That is Kun?”
“Huh? Yeah? Unless you let some strange man into my home that I don’t know,” you replied, bewildered. “Should I have asked you to ID him?”
“I take back everything I said, you stay out as long as you want tonight. All night even,” she suggested, gesturing wildly with one hand as the other kept your toddler propped up on her hip. She pinched his cheek fondly. “BinBin and I can have a sleepover, right, buddy?”
Your son’s face lit up with delight at the prospect. “Sleepover?!”
Well aware of what your friend was implying, you did your best to regulate your outer emotions and intonation as you addressed your kid. You kept your tone kind but firm, “No, Binnie, I’m sorry.” Focusing your gaze on your friend, you added pointedly, “Nobody’s having a sleepover tonight.”
“Y/N, come on. You’ve never denied yourself the finer things in life since becoming a mom. Why are you insisting on starting now?” Sooyoung sighed.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have a gala to attend. For the fundraising committee I’m on.”
Walking through your apartment, you grabbed your purse from your dining room and finally found Kun in the foyer just a few steps from the front door. He was looking at a photo you had up on the wall, his back to you, so all you could see was his brown hair and dark suit.
“Hi, Kun!” You hoped you didn’t sound out of breath as you entered the room. Judging by the sound of footsteps behind you, Sooyoung had followed you in to see you off for the night.
Kun turned around at his name, hands clasped behind his back. He was dressed rather handsomely for the night in a tux with his hair neatly parted away from his face. But it was the starstruck smile on his face that made your skin warm up as he stopped in his tracks, just looking at you.
“Kun? You good?” You coughed awkwardly, well aware of your spectators.
“Sorry, sorry. Hello, Y/N.” He blinked and shook his head, stepping forward all the way to stand in front of you.
“You’ve already met my friend Sooyoung. She’s watching Woobin tonight for me.” You gestured to the two of them.
“So you two can take as long as you need!” She piped up oh-so-helpfully.
You turned to look at her with wide, pointed eyes.
“You know, chatting people up for your fundraising, or whatever,” she tacked on innocently.
“Thank you, SooSoo. I’ll see you later.” You pecked your son on the forehead. “Goodnight, Binnie. Remember, Mommy will be back late so Aunt SooSoo is going to put you to bed, and you and me are going to eat breakfast together, okay?”
“But Aunt SooSoo said I was having a sleepover with her?”
“Aunt SooSoo was just joking, baby. I’m sorry, no sleepovers tonight,” you informed him with a heavy heart. Sooyoung set him down, and he toddled off towards the living room. Your friend went to follow him, and you grabbed her elbow to lean in to hiss in her ear, “I hope you’re happy, you owe Binnie a sleepover now.”
“And he’ll get one,” she whispered back. “As soon as you have one of your own.”
You shot her one final glare that she just retaliated with a wink, before letting her go and striding back over to Kun, who was waiting patiently by the front door.
“Everything okay?” He asked, concern on his features.
“Yeah, just making sure she knows Binnie's bedtime and to not give him any more juice.” You offered him a reassuring smile. “All good.”
“Good. You ready, then?”
“As I’ll ever be, I guess.”
You so were not ready, it turned out. Just a few minutes after arriving, milling around and taking in the grandeur of the ballroom with Kun, you were starting to feel dizzy. Kun had already seen a couple of people that he must have known, flashing them a charismatic smile and exchanging passing greetings. You, meanwhile, felt like a weight was pressing on your chest, and inhaled deeply through your nose to try to calm down.
“Woah, are you okay, Y/N?” Kun leaned in to ask you quietly.
“Yeah, fine,” you lied through your teeth. “Why?”
“You’ve got a death grip on my arm that you didn’t have thirty seconds ago.” He patted your hand that was on his upper arm.
Looking down, you saw that his suit jacket was crumpled in your fingers, and you consciously tried to loosen your grip, but couldn’t make yourself do it. Instead, you just stared at your locked hand.
“I’m a copy editor, Kun, I don’t really go to galas on the daily, so pardon me for being a little out of my element here,” you retorted, the words cutting through the air much harsher than you had intended. Taking another deep inhale and exhale, you added a whispered, “Sorry, sorry.”
“Come on, let’s get some air, hm?”
The gala had an outdoor area devoid of other guests, presumably due to the chilly nighttime air. Kun sat you down on a stone bench outside of the main courtyard area, out of sight from the large windows of the ballroom.
The pressure on your chest was gone, and with you breathing easier, the cynical, nervous thoughts could finally take center stage in your brain.
“God, this isn’t going to work! Why did we even come out here?” You cracked your knuckles anxiously. “How do we even ask for money without just sounding like children? ‘It’s not fair!’”
“If we find the right donor—and don’t use that tone of voice—that argument is actually going to be what resonates with them,” Kun responded calmly, standing in front of you with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “Someone that cares about the kids, not about investing in an institution or whatever, will be moved by the fact that the preschool is being neglected financially.”
You chewed on the bottom of your lip. “Well damn, when you put it like that, I may just believe that you’re a Director of Sales, Qian Kun.”
“I thought the business card had convinced you.”
“Anybody can order a business card that says whatever they want.”
“That would’ve been extensive planning on my part.”
“Hey, you could’ve had it on hand to pick up women. There’s guys that do that.”
He seemed genuinely put-off and bewildered. “Wait really? That’s… That is just… loser behavior.”
“Though the fax number did point to it being real,” you continued, finally cracking a smile. “Dudes doing pick-up probably think it makes them look dorky.”
“What? People aren’t sexting via fax these days?” Kun joked, a grin tugging at his lips.
You were laughing too hard—and thus trying to quiet down your laughter—to respond to him, giving him the perfect leeway to continue. “What would you even call that? Saxing? Sexing?”
You were dizzy again, but this time it was light-headedness from laughing too hard, quite literally slapping your knee as you tried to calm yourself down.
Kun was chuckling as well, sliding in to sit next to you. “I take offense at the sentiment that fax machines are lame, by the way. I’ll have you know that’s my personal fax line on my business card. Not everyone gets their own.”
Finally having enough wits about you to form sentences again, you sat up straight to look him in the eye as you clarified, “Hey, I was saying that loser dudes who make fake business cards think that fax machines are lame. I think men with fax machines are sexy, especially personal fax lines.”
You went to nudge his shoulder teasingly, caught off-guard as you realized just how close he was to you. Even closer than the night on your couch, his dark eyes settling on your face, unabashedly drinking you in. Your breath hitched in your throat as you were suddenly surrounded by the intoxicating smell of his cologne. The cold air made the hair on your bare arms stand up—or maybe it was something else—and you found yourself pressing forward even closer towards Kun’s warmth.
“Y/N,” he murmured your name quietly. “Are you cold? We can go back inside.”
“No, just…” you took a deep breath, scooting in even closer to him, until you were pressed up side-to-side. “Stay right here? You’re warm.”
He uncertainly wrapped his arm around you. “Sure, sure. Of course.”
“And… Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, yeah.”
“I wasn’t crazy, right? On the couch the other night… Did you want to kiss me, too?”
“You-You wanted to kiss me?”
“I’m uh, a bit rusty at this kind of thing,” you admitted, your skin burning. “But I’m not completely imagining that there’s… something here, right, Kun?”
“You wanted to kiss me?” He repeated like a broken record.
You lightly snapped your fingers in front of his face. “Kun? My question? Or have I officially lost it, and this is like… going to make everything awkward for the fundraising committee?”
“No, no, I-I do—did want to kiss you. I thought I was making you uncomfortable,” he stumbled over his words sheepishly. “I’m uhm… also pretty rusty with this stuff.”
“You do want to kiss me? Or you did want to kiss me, past tense?” You clarified.
“Both! Uhm, I did, that night on the couch, and I still do, now…” He confessed weakly.
“Is there any reason that you shouldn’t? Like, is there somebody…?”
“No, there isn’t. Not at all.” Kun gulped. “What about you?”
“Nope, nobody, and Qian Kun, if you continue to talk about kissing me without actually doing anything, I might actually lose my mind,” you whispered, feeling hot, embarrassed, desperate tears pricking at the edges of your eyes.
“God, sorry.” He cupped your cheek, turning your head and tilting your chin to be able to perfectly slot his lips with yours. The arm that was already wrapped around you just pulled you closer to him, as one of your hands grabbed the lapel of his suit jacket. You let out an embarrassing whimper as soon as his mouth meshed with yours, and he murmured another hushed ‘sorry’ against your lips. If he hadn’t just told you that he was rusty, you wouldn’t have had any idea as your head spun, your heart beat out of your chest wildly like a cartoon, and you were definitely crying tears of relief into what you were seriously considering quite possibly your best kiss ever.
It was your turn to mutter an apology as your tears turned the kiss salty, but as you pulled back to do just that, you saw the glistening of Kun’s eyes in the champagne tinted light filtering out from the ballroom, turning his tears golden as they slipped down his cheeks. Instead, you just pressed your forehead to his in silent understanding, looping your arm around his neck to hold him even closer, if that was possible.
PART II: you got my heartbeat to play to your time
Spotting Kun in the lobby of the preschool, you immediately lit up and rushed to sit down beside him on one of the benches. He offered you a tired smile and peck on the cheek in greeting, scooting to make room for you.
“Brr, it’s fucking freezing out there,” you shuddered, grabbing his hand to press it against the cold tip of your nose. “That’s just from the 30-second walk from the parking lot to here! Are you two going to survive the walk home? You sure you don’t want me to drive you? Well, I don’t have another carseat for Junyi, but he could sit on your lap in the backseat, I think? Better than freezing to death, right?”
“We’ll be okay, Y/N,” Kun reassured you, patting your leg before resting his hand there. “Thank you though, love.”
The subject of the cold suddenly made you remember something else, and you perked up, “Oh, Woobin and I were at the store yesterday and he needed new gloves, and I saw that bun’s were getting a little worn out when we went out last weekend too—”
“Whose?” Kun asked, furrowing his brows.
“Junyi’s. Look.” You held up the pair that matched Woobin’s, save for the pattern, which had little bunnies on them instead of whales. “Aren’t they adorable? God, I just love their tiny hands. I’ll return them if this is weird and I overstepped a line though. I tried to call you to see if this was okay, but the store was just a dead zone, and I couldn’t get a signal.”
A sheepish smile punctuated the end of your nervous rambling. You and Kun hadn’t been dating for very long, just a few months, and you were still getting a feel for boundaries when it came to your relationship with each other and each other’s kids. You’d just started spending the night at each other’s houses with both kids there—already a big step, in your opinion. Taking the initiative on buying Junyi a new pair of gloves had seemed perfectly natural when the thought came to you, but you didn’t want it to feel like you were rushing things to Kun, or taking a place that wasn’t yours to take—and hadn’t been offered to you—in Junyi’s life.
“Oh, no, Y/N, these are perfect, thank you.” He accepted them, a genuine, grateful smile on his face as he tucked them away in his jacket pocket, then squeezed both of your hands. “Junyi will love them. He did need new gloves; I just hadn’t made it out to the store yet.”
“Then what is making you make that face?”
“Since when has Junyi been a bunny?”
“Were you not intentionally buying him a bunch of bunny-patterned stuff?” You questioned, tilting your head.
“Huh?”
“His backpack, his stuffie that he brings to school, his pajamas that he wore at my place last weekend, and I’ve seen him in like at least three different bunny t-shirts. I thought the theming was intentional.”
Kun took a long, slow blink. “Oh… it was not.”
“Kun… are bunnies your favorite animal?” You teased.
“No! I think…?”
“God, long day at work?” You surmised, stroking the back of his head soothingly.
He leaned into your touch, letting out a disgruntled groan, “Long week. Scratch that, long month.”
“Mm, anything I can do to help?”
“Unless you can clone me, or stop time…”
“Okay, new question: Anything I can do to make you more comfortable? Even just something small?”
“Can you and Woobin come over tonight? I know we weren’t planning on it, but—”
“Yes, Kun, we can come over tonight,” you agreed, using your free hand to grab one of his.
“Thank you,” he sighed, squeezing your hand back.
The door to the boys’ classroom opened then, and you nudged Kun’s shoulder with yours. He nodded, the two of you standing up together. As soon as you stepped foot into the classroom, your shins were knocked into by one small body, then another.
“Oh, hey bun! Hey bubbles!” You greeted the kids, wobbling a bit as they had each latched onto one of your legs.
Kun, who had caught you by the elbow to steady you, was looking at the three of you with that same tired but heartfelt smile, “Guys, am I just chopped liver?”
Junyi squinted up at his dad curiously, “What’s liver?”
“Yeah, what’s liver, Mr. Kun?” Woobin echoed.
“He means he wants a hug too, boys,” you explained. “And he’s been working really hard, so I think he should get a really big one.”
They immediately detached themselves from you to throw their little arms around Kun’s legs instead.
“You should ask for one next time, Mr. Kun!”
“Yeah, Daddy! Instead of talkin’ about liver and stuff.”
“Yeah, Mr. Kun, just ask for one next time,” you repeated teasingly.
Kun looked at the two kids with that same fond, resigned smile. “Right, my bad, boys. I will just ask for one when I need one next time.”
As the kids hug-attacked Kun, you went over to their forgotten cubbies to pick up their respective whale and bunny backpacks, giving Ms. Xu and Mrs. Chen friendly waves of acknowledgement. When you returned, Kun had managed to get a kid under each arm, both toddlers giggling as they were held like sacks of potatoes.
“Are you carrying them out like that?” You asked with a tilted head.
“Maybe,” Kun joked. “It’s a good arm workout.”
“Yeah, for all three of you,” you referred to how the boys were clinging onto his forearms against gravity as well.
“Mm, the idea of buff three-year-olds terrifies me,” he declared, lowering the kids. “Alright, time to let go, guys.”
You reached into Junyi’s backpack to secure the little tiny puffer jacket that was inside, “It’s a bit chilly out, bun-bun, and you and your dad are walking home, so come on, you’re putting your coat on.”
“Okay,” he stuck his arms out for you to help put it on him.
“Oh,” Kun pulled the new pair of gloves out of his own pocket, showing them off to his son. “Look, buddy. Ms. Y/N got you a new pair of gloves.”
“Oh wow, thank you!” He beamed up at you.
“You’re welcome,” you grinned back, kneeling down in front of him to zip up the jacket for him. “Woobin has a pair just like it but with whales, so you two can match next time he wears his.”
Woobin looked down at his bare hands with a thoughtful frown. “Where are my gloves, Mommy?”
“They’re probably in your backpack, baby. You and I are driving home so you don’t have to put them on if you don’t want to, because your hands won’t be getting cold outside like Junyi’s.”
“Oh. I want to put them on, please.”
“Here, I’ll get them,” Kun unzipped the backpack that was on your shoulder and began rooting through it.
“Thank you.” You murmured. As he got the gloves and helped Woobin put them on, you went over the plans for the rest of the night with your son, “We’re going to go home and get a few things, and then we’re going to Mr. Kun and Junyi’s house for a sleepover, okay?”
“Okay!”
Kun had finished tugging on the gloves then, “There you go, Bin.”
“Thank you, Mr. Kun!” Woobin chirped, then reached out for the other toddler. “Junyi, we match!”
“We match!” Junyi giggled back, grabbing Woobin's whale-patterned hand with his own bunny-patterned one.
You stood up, covering your mouth in delight as you whispered to Kun, “I’m literally going to cry.”
“Way ahead of you,” he whispered back, and when you looked over, you did in fact see a single tear rolling down one of his cheeks.
“Oh, oh my God, Kun.” You wiped it away with your thumb. “What’s—”
“Talk later?”
“Okay, yeah,” you nodded, looking around at the fact that you were still very much in the boys’ classroom, and had other things to do. “Right, of course. Talk later.”
Kun reached up to grab your hand that had wiped the tear away, squeezing it and offering you a smile. He dried his eyes with the sleeve of his other hand, then called for the kids, “Come on, boys. We’ve got to go. You’ll see each other in just a bit.”
Getting Woobin packed up to spend the night at Kun and Junyi’s was easy, and so was getting the two of them fed once you were there. The difficult part was getting even a single second of semi-private time with Kun to actually talk. The two boys wanted to include both of you in every single thing they did tonight, which was typically endearing, but the exhaustion that plagued Kun’s features the while time still concerned you. It wasn’t until they were finally asleep in Junyi’s room, and you and Kun had cleaned up from dinner, that you finally had an opportunity.
He pulled you over to the couch, and you sat down, expecting one of your normal grown-up, mature, face-to-face talks to happen now. You’d had a few already, about your expectations when you started dating, about the first time you spent the night at the other’s house like this, whenever there was any need to clear the air. Both you and Kun agreed that you were both at the point in your life where you couldn’t deal with the kind of tip-toeing uncertainty of young relationships, you needed something serious, with open, honest communication, especially around the kids.
But instead, Kun practically collapsed on top of you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your middle. You cradled his head close to you, running a hand through his hair and stroking a thumb over his cheekbone.
“What’s wrong, Kun?” You murmured. “You seem… drained.”
“I am,” he admitted plainly, defeat in his tone. “Just absolutely… fucking dead.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, love,” you replied quietly.
“But you were such a big help today, thank you.”
“I don’t know how bringing another toddler into your home helped with that, but okay,” you said skeptically, still playing with his hair.
“Having a second set of hands to help with dinnertime, and play time, and bathtime, and bedtime…” His chest heaved with another big sigh. “And just having you around… makes everything easier.”
He reached up to grab one of your hands, lacing his fingers with yours. The grip he had made you think he wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon. “I don’t want you to leave, Y/N.”
“Kun, I’ll stay for as long as you need me to,” you promised. “A couple nights, a week, whatever you need. Life is hard, especially trying to do everything on your own. Tomorrow’s Saturday, so how about you take the boys out and I’ll tidy up around here, okay?”
“Forever?”
“What?”
“Will you stay forever?”
You stared down at your interlocked hands, the one in his hair stilling. “Are you asking…”
“You said you’d stay however long I need you to. I always need you with me, Y/N. Will you two move in with us?” Kun asked, placing a couple of long kisses to your hand. “Or we can get a new place. I just… can’t imagine having to do this without you. Both of you. All four of us.”
You hummed, your hand resuming its ministrations in his locks. “We’ll probably need a new place… but yes, Kun. We’ll move in with you.”
He quickly kissed his way up your arm to your neck and face, until he was hovering above you, a breathless smile on his features. “Really?”
“I’ll need to talk to Binnie…” You warned. “And like I just said, we’ll probably need to look for a new place, since the boys are used to having their own rooms and we can afford it combined. It won’t be instantaneous, but yes… we can start planning it.”
Then Kun was showering your face in kisses, and you giggled, cupping his face fondly.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“I love you too, Kun,” you pulled him into a soft peck, before his raining kisses started going even lower, below your jaw, your neck, your collarbones. When his hand slipped under your shirt, you looked at him suspiciously. “Hey… I thought you were absolutely fucking dead?”
“Mysterious second wind,” his words were muffled against your skin, but you could feel the sly smirk on his lips.
“Alright, well do you think this second wind can at least be moved into your bedroom?”
“Y/N, five weeks?!” Kun exclaimed, making you immediately slap a hand over his mouth and look over your shoulder at the two freshly-washed four-year-old boys sitting down to enjoy their post-bathtime show.
“Keep your voice down!” You chastised him in a harsh whisper. The living room was open to the kitchen in your new place, where you and Kun were huddled having your fervent back and forth at the moment. You’d just so very casually dropped the fact that your period had been five weeks late, at perhaps not the most opportune time, washing the dishes, but really you hadn’t meant for it to be a huge deal.
After you took your hand off his mouth, he replied back much more quietly, “Sorry, I’m not upset with you, love, I’m surprised. Why haven’t you taken a test?”
“With work and both the boys’ birthdays, then them starting VPK, I just haven’t had time to go get one.”
“Let’s go get one now then.”
“What, a family trip to the corner store to buy a pregnancy test?” You snorted at the idea, holding a dry plate out to Kun to put away.
He didn’t take the plate, staring at you as he repeated, “Family?”
“You know what I meant…” You whined, putting the dish down on the counter and covering your face in embarrassment. That was the first time either of you had referred to the four of you as one family unit.
He wrapped his arms around you, letting you bury your face in his chest. “I don’t think you even know what you meant, lovey.”
“Ugh, you’re right.” Your brain was way too scrambled at the moment, preoccupied with trying extremely hard to not think about what being late could possibly mean, what a test could possibly say.
“I’m serious, come on. We’ll buy the boys some ice cream, they’ll be none the wiser.”
“Fine, I need to put some real pants on,” you pushed off his chest, gesturing to the dingy sleep shorts were you in. “Can you—”
“Get the boys’ shoes on. On it.” He nodded firmly.
“Thank you, my love.”
“Kun, I can’t pee with you grinning at me like that. It’s weird.”
With Woobin and Junyi preoccupied with their character popsicles and a movie in the living room, you and Kun were in the small hallway bathroom closest to the living room. It also happened to be the boys’ shared bathroom, the walls covered in vinyl, removable stickers of cartoon characters smiling down at you as unnervingly as Kun was currently. It was far too many eyes for what you were doing, peeing on a drugstore pregnancy test.
“Sorry, sorry,” your boyfriend apologized, diverting his eyes and covering his mouth, though he was clearly still beaming into his hand.
Finally done with that part of the test, you set it atop the box that was sitting on the bathroom counter, washing your hands and dropping back down onto the toilet seat.
“And now we wait,” you declared with a heavy chest.
“Okay.” Kun nodded resolutely, allowing his eyes to return to you now that you’d spoken again, still absolutely glittering in the harsh fluorescents.
“Now would be a good time to talk, about if that’s a plus. You’re still grinning like a maniac, so I have a guess as to what you’re about to say.”
He sighed almost dreamily as he looked up at you, resting his cheek in his hand. “You’re just… the most beautiful woman in the world to me, right now. And I love you, so much.”
“This, me sitting on the toilet in our tiny hallway bathroom, having just peed on a stick in front of you,” you pointed between the two of you, “is one of the least romantic situations I think we’ve ever been in. But, I love you too, you weirdo.”
“That wasn’t my answer, by the way. You go first, you’d be the one carrying any baby of ours, after all.”
“After Woobin, I told myself that if I had another, I’d do it…” You trailed off as you fumbled around for the right word.
“Right?” Kun supplemented hesitantly.
“No, no, I don’t think Woobin was wrong. That’s one thesaurus entry away from ‘mistake,’ as cheesy as that might sound. But, I told myself that I’d do my next one different. I’d be married to someone, we’d have planned the pregnancy over multiple conversations, talked about kids before we even got married in the first place, I’d have talked to Binnie about it, made sure he had the emotional space for a little sibling, too.”
“And we haven’t even talked about getting married…” He breathed out in realization.
You narrowed your eyes. “Qian Kun, do you think for even a second, that I would be with you if I didn’t think that I could marry you one day? After everything you’ve learned about me? After that whole toilet bowl confessional I just gave literally ten seconds ago? Consider this the marriage talk warning. It’s coming, and when it does, I expect you to bring notes.”
“Good point, I’m sorry for doubting you, lovey. I eagerly await the marriage talks, and I’ll make sure to do my research ahead of time.”
“Good.”
“So that’s how you want to do it. What about if that test is positive? Right now?” He returned you to the present, his voice gentle, as you were reminded of the very real, very possible, tangible now that you were being faced with.
You let your head drop forward into your hands as you tried to pick apart the tangled ball that was your thoughts and feelings. Thinking back to when you were doing this by yourself the first time in your workplace bathroom, when you found out you were pregnant with Binnie… you distantly remembered how you felt when you saw that double line, that positive result. There was definitely anxiety, yes, but more than that you remembered an excitement bubbling up and overflowing on top of that the longer that it registered.
This time, you weren’t feeling any of that. Not because you didn’t love the idea of having a child with Kun, but… it just wouldn’t be the right time. The two of you had only recently moved in together, you were still getting used to enmeshing your two—or, four—separate lives into one, you hadn’t even been together for a year, Woobin and Junyi hadn’t been consulted whatsoever, not to mention they had just started VPK and would be going into primary school next year; Kun had just gotten a promotion at work, yes, but you had your eye on your own possible promotion, too. It just… wasn’t right. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you finally looked up at Kun sitting across from you in the narrow space of the hallway bathroom. You could feel the tears gathering in your eyes, his image immediately swimming in your vision.
“Oh, hey, come here, lovey,” he gently ushered you down from your perch on the toilet seat cover onto the ground with him. He settled you in between his legs, wrapping his arms around you, “Sad cry or scary cry?”
You had the urge to smack his arm for treating you like one of the kids, but unfortunately, it was a really good communication tool.
“Goddamn,” you wept against his shirt, clinging onto him. “I don’t know, Kun. I don’t fucking know. It’s not a happy cry, though. And I don’t think that any kid should be brought into the world if their mom isn’t happy at the thought of them.”
He rubbed a hand up and down your back, not faltering for a moment as you spoke. When you were done, he started, “Look, Y/N. I’ll admit, the idea of having a baby with you kind of sent me to the stratosphere there for a second. But, I think that a baby is something that needs to be two enthusiastic yeses, or it’s a no. And you…” he pulled your face out of the crook of his neck to be able to look you in the eye. “Are clearly not enthusiastic nor a yes. So I’m not either. Okay?”
You sniffled, “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated, wiping at your tears. “Now, I think it’s been plenty of time. Are you ready to look at the test?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Kun stretched his arm out, fumbling along the top of the bathroom counter until he had secured the test in his hand. You turned in his arms, fully leaned against him, your back to his chest as he flipped the stick over for you two to read the results together.
Negative.
And you were crying again, but this time you knew that they were tears of relief.
“Oh, thank God,” you whispered, holding a hand over your mouth. “Oh… oh my God.”
“There we go,” Kun murmured, holding you to him by an arm slung over your waist. “Now, call me crazy, but I think we just manifested that negative pregnancy test result.”
You let out a choked laugh, “Would it be manifesting a negative or un-manifesting a positive?”
“Good question.”
He held a foot out until he could reach the step opener of the trash can, tossing the test into it. You sat there with him for who knows how much longer, until the cold of the tile finally seeped through your clothes, and your joints were aching from being curled up on your bathroom floor for so long.
“Oh shit, the boys are all by themselves in the living room,” you mumbled, beginning to detangle yourself from Kun.
“I’ll clean up in here. You get into some pajamas and then go see them, okay? They’ve been the normal amount of quiet, I think the movie’s got them sufficiently occupied, so take your time. I’ll be right behind you.” He reassured you, standing up after you did, and keeping a hand on the small of your back as you went to wash your hands again.
The remnants of the pregnancy test packaging were on the counter, not to mention the general disarray from your breakdown, and the fact that you hadn’t tidied up from the boys’ bathtime earlier that night either. When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you could see that you weren’t in much better shape than the bathroom.
“Okay, yeah. Thank you, Kun.” Your voice wasn’t any louder than a whisper, and it didn’t need to be in the small, quiet space.
He pressed a long kiss to your temple before you left for your bedroom to change out of the clothes that you’d gone to the convenience store in. Putting on the comfiest pajamas you could find, you then shuffled out to the living room, which you were glad to see was in one piece. Tension you didn’t even realize you were carrying released from your shoulders when your eyes fell on the two kids sat on the couch, their attention glued to the screen.
You weren’t sure how long you had been standing there before Woobin finally turned his head to look at you. “Oh hi Mommy!”
“Hi, Ms. Y/N!”
“Hi, boys, can I join you?” You asked.
“Well, yeah!” Junyi said in the most ‘duh!’ tone you’d ever heard a four-year-old imitate. He patted the open space between the two of them. “We saved you a spot here.”
“Oh, thank you.” You sat down exactly where he had gestured, tucking your feet underneath you. Woobin immediately clambered onto your lap, and Junyi scooted in to snuggle into your other side.
“And when Daddy gets here, his spot is over here,” Junyi pointed to the remaining space between him and the arm of the couch. “And he can put the blanket on all of us.”
“Right, of course, bun,” you nodded, wrapping your arms around the two boys to hold them even closer to you.
Woobin touched a hand to your cheek, “Mommy, you’re crying. Sad cry, scary cry, or boo-boo cry?”
“Oh, no, baby, it's a happy cry,” you assured him, wiping at the couple of tears that had eked out again with your sleeve. “It’s because I love you all so much.”
“Happy cry,” he repeated, as if committing the term to memory.
Kun joined the three of you a few minutes later, sliding into his assigned seat and pulling a blanket over the four of you. Mindful of the child in between you two, you rested your head on his shoulder.
Against your instincts, you shut the front door quietly behind you as you came home that night. You’d gotten caught up at work with a deadline suddenly being moved up. You plopped your purse onto the kitchen table next to the huge LEGO set that you’d started with the boys last weekend as Kun got up from the couch to greet you. He was already in his pajamas, a stark contrast to the office wear you were still in.
“Hey, lovey,” he pecked your cheek, letting you snake both your arms around his waist and hold him closer. “How was work?”
You let out a low, exhausted groan into his shoulder. “Long. If I ever have to read another word again in my life, it’ll be too soon.”
“Then you’ll be very happy to hear that I already read the boys a bedtime story.”
“Shit, am I that late?” You sighed. “I know I told you I’d probably miss dinner but I didn’t mean for you to do bedtime all by yourself, too.”
“It’s okay, I know you would’ve been here if you could. The three of us managed for one night.”
“How was everything? Were they good for you?”
“Absolute angels.”
You lifted your head up to shoot him a disbelieving look. “Our sons? Are you sure you’ve got the right kids in there?”
Kun chuckled, planting a kiss on your lips this time. “You know us too well. Only convinced them to get in bed with bribery.”
“Great, what did you promise them? Extra hour of TV this weekend? Kun, please do not tell me you promised a new toy or—”
“Woah, woah, who do you think I am?” He snorted, clearly offended. “I just had to promise that you’d give them their goodnight kiss when you got home. They were very concerned about going to sleep without one.”
Relief immediately flooded your system, along with a warm fondness. “Oh, good. I’ll go hold up our end, then.”
“Before you do,” Kun held you by the waist to keep you from walking away yet. He lowered his voice, tone turning serious. “Woobin was asking for you before lights-out. Not just for his goodnight kiss, but he wouldn’t tell me what was going on. I have a feeling he might still be up when you go in.”
You nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, I’ll pop into his room second. Thanks for the heads-up.”
With a final pat on the cheek, you left Kun’s warm embrace and treaded down the hall that contained the boys’ bedrooms and shared bathroom. You slowly opened the door to Junyi’s room first. The room was pitch black save for the dwindling light from his glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars, and you crept up to his bedside. Just able to see the faint outline of him under his covers, you gently brushed away some of his hair and laid a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Night, bun-bun,” you murmured, then kissed his pudgy little cheek one more time before standing up. He didn’t stir, his breathing remained peaceful and as you ducked back out you closed the door even more quietly than you had opened it.
As soon as you pushed the door to Woobin’s room open, you knew he was awake. He was in a phase of sleeping with a night-light on, meaning that you could immediately see his eyes staring at you.
“Hi, Mommy,” he deadpanned, hands folded together over his stomach.
You entered the room, shutting the door behind you. “Hi, baby. What are you still doing up?”
He squirmed a little under the covers, refusing to meet your eyes as you came to sit on his mattress next to him. “Waiting for my goodnight kiss.”
“Oh, you could’ve gone to sleep,” you reassured him, moving his bangs out of the way of his forehead. “Mommy would’ve still come and given you your goodnight kiss.”
He was silent as you leaned down to smooch his forehead. Pulling back, you asked, “Is that all, Binnie?”
Woobin mumbled something that you couldn’t quite make out.
“I’m sorry, could you say that again for me? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I want to say something, but it’s after my bedtime…”
“Don’t worry, baby. I want to hear what you have to say. You can say it now.”
“I don’t want Junyi to be mad at me.”
“Why do you think Junyi would be mad at you?”
“You can’t tell them!” He suddenly exclaimed, pleading and desperate.
“Tell who? Junyi and Mr. Kun?” You asked, brow furrowing with confusion.
He nodded fervently, panic on his features.
“You remember our rules about sharing things?”
“If it’s about safety or respect, we all have to know,” he recited mournfully. “It’s not! I promise! I think…”
“How about you tell me, and I’ll tell you if it’s something we should tell everyone. I won’t get mad, and you and me can talk about it for as long as you want first. Does that sound okay?”
“Okay…”
“Whenever you’re ready,” you said soothingly, watching him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down.
“I-I want to call Mr. Kun ‘Daddy.’”
You couldn’t help but smile widely at him, taking your son’s hand in yours. “That’s wonderful, baby. I think it would make Mr. Kun really happy that you want to.”
“But that’s what Junyi calls him…”
“And you think it would upset Junyi if you called him the same thing?”
“Yeah,” he sniffled.
“That’s very considerate, Binnie,” you told him proudly.
“Are you going to tell them?”
“No, not if you don’t want me to,” you shook your head. “But I think that it would be a good idea for you, Junyi, and Mr. Kun to all talk about this together. When you’re ready.”
Woobin sniffled again, and you leaned over to hug your boy. He immediately threw his arms around your neck, burying his wet face in the collar of your blouse.
When you finally left his room after watching him fall asleep with your own two eyes, you found Kun reclined in your bed, bedside lamp on as he read a book.
“Is Woobin alright?” Kun flipped his book shut and set it aside.
You shimmied out of your work clothes. “Yeah, he’s okay. Just… needed Mom before bed.”
He nodded, watching as you pulled sleep clothes on and shuffled over to the bathroom. “Mm, of course. Mr. Kun wasn’t enough…” He sighed dramatically, making you lean your head back out to glare at him, toothbrush hanging out of your mouth.
“Shut up,” you grumbled after spitting your toothpaste out and flicking the bathroom light off. You plopped into bed, snuggling up to your pillow and closing your eyes. “He loves you, you know that.”
The sound of the bedside lamp clicking off rang through your room before you felt the sheets shift around and Kun scoot closer to you.
“I know, I’m just not ‘Mom,’” he mused, grabbing your hands to tug you toward him.
You obliged, rolling over to face him and rest your head on his shoulder. He kissed your forehead, still holding your hands against his chest.
“Goodnight, my love,” you breathed out, “Thank you again for handling them alone tonight.”
“Goodnight, lovey.” He rubbed soothing circles into the palm of your hand with his thumb.
As you watched Kun alternate between pushing Woobin and Junyi on the swingset, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. It was peaceful afternoons like these that you treasured the most. You recognized a few more figures that were approaching the playground, waving to Johnny and Jaehyun in the distance as Mark and Sungchan immediately ran up to your two boys. The three dads all chatted as the four kids took off from the swingset at full speed towards the slides. You were on a bench a little further from the playset, and had no qualms about sitting and resting when you got the chance.
The playground was within walking distance of yours and Kun’s house, and right by the school, so it wasn’t a total shock to see some of your kids’ classmates there. You watched with amusement as all three of the adults perked up like meerkats towards the kids, who were now lined up at the monkey bars. Mark was first up, and must have been asking for help, as Johnny yelled out a ‘just a sec, champ!’ before gesturing between the three dads and all the kids clambering for their turn.
Apparently, Johnny and Jaehyun had decided it was their turn to help all four kids with the bars, as Kun lumbered over to plop down next to you at the picnic table.
“Thank God they showed up, I don’t know if I have it left in me to carry them back and forth across the monkey bars for the next hour,” Kun grunted, dropping his head down to rest on your shoulder.
You snickered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as you watched all the children play. Woobin was the littlest, needing Jaehyun’s help all the way across the bars. The dad still gave him as enthusiastic of a double high-five as he gave Junyi after him, who was able to do a couple by himself after getting hoisted up there.
“Woobin wants to call you Dad, you know,” you blurted out in the quietness that had fallen between you and Kun.
Kun lifted his head up to look at you with wide eyes. “He does?”
“Yeah, he told me the other day. But he thinks Junyi will be mad at him.”
“Ohh…” He breathed out, nodding slowly.
“I would’ve said something to you, but he asked me not to tell you and Junyi at first. We had another conversation about it this morning, and he finally agreed that I could talk to you about it at least,” you explained. “I told him that you three should all talk. I think he’s really, really scared of making Junyi upset. They’re such good friends, you know?”
You looked on with fondness as the gaggle of kids around the monkey bars took off at a run away from Johnny and Jaehyun, apparently playing some kind of tag or hide and seek now. Woobin and Junyi were running off together hand-in-hand, giggling and cackling with laughter as Johnny mimicked chasing after them.
Kun ran a knuckle up and down your arm, trailing his hand down until he could lace his fingers with yours. “I know, sometimes I look at them and I think it’s like they’re… brothers.”
“Mm, yeah,” you hummed noncommittally. Finally taking your eyes off the playground, you turned to face him fully, covering his hand with both of yours. “Kun, with all this… it makes me really happy, you and Junyi make me really happy, and all four of us being together. But, I don’t— I’m not trying to replace Junyi’s mom. Despite what she did, he’s already had one, whatever memories he’s got of her. I want to be whatever he wants me to be. So, I’m perfectly content to be ‘Ms. Y/N’ for the rest of my life.”
“I asked him the other day, if he remembered his mom at all,” he admitted quietly.
“W-Why?”
“Morbid curiosity, I guess. He was so young, I wasn’t sure if he would. Funny thing was, he told me yes. So I asked what he remembered about her. And he just looked at me with the most confused expression I think I’ve ever seen him have and he goes ‘She picked me up from school today.’”
“Oh, oh my God,” you let out a choked chuckle, a lump growing in your throat.
“You picked him up from school that day, Y/N,” Kun said pointedly, poking you in the arm for emphasis.
“Yeah, I had guessed that,” you spluttered out, a wide, beaming smile on your face as you replayed those words in your mind over and over again.
“So it seems like, to me, you’re the only one with hang-ups about this, lovey.”
“I’m gonna fucking cry— no, scratch that, I already am,” you sniffled, wiping at your eyes with one of your hands.
“Sad cry, scary cry, boo-boo cry, or happy cry?” Kun asked teasingly, thumb wiping away one of your tears.
“Happy cry,” you answered, despite the fact that he definitely already knew. “So happy. I love you so much, both of you.”
“Junyi!” The distant voice of Johnny called out, chastising.
Both you and Kun snapped your heads up to look, only to see said child running at you full-speed.
“Woobin! Let your parents…” Jaehyun trailed off in defeat as a second small body hurtled towards you. “Sorry! We tried to let you guys have a moment…”
“It’s alright!” Kun called back to them as the two boys finally made it to you.
You lifted Junyi up onto the bench next to you with no hesitation, and Kun plopped Woobin onto his lap, his little legs reaching into yours. Junyi sat himself down on one of your legs, facing you with the most worried, intense gaze on his face.
“Are you okay, Ms. Y/N?!” He wiped at your wet cheeks. “What happened?”
“Nothing, hunny-bun,” you promised, holding both of his little hands and dropping loud smooches to them. “Happy tears, they’re happy tears. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“Because you love us so much?” Woobin asked, supplying the last reason you’d given him for your happy tears.
“Yeah, always, bubbles,” you grabbed his head to be able to press a kiss to his forehead. “Always love you guys so much.”
“Why does it make you cry?”
“Because I have so much love inside me for all of you that sometimes it feels like I could just… burst!” You said with enough of a sing-song-y inflection that it made the two kids giggle, especially when you mimicked an explosion with your hands. “So instead of spontaneously exploding, it comes out as tears sometimes. Tears aren’t bad, Binnie, remember?”
“I know, Mommy,” he nodded dutifully.
Kun spoke up then, “I think we should all talk about what was making your mom so happy this time, boys.”
Junyi looked at his dad with alarm. “What? Bin and I didn’t do anything! We’re not in trouble, right?”
“I didn’t do anything!” Woobin pouted. “Junyi—”
“No, you’re not in trouble,” Kun hushed them gently. “I just said it was making your mom happy. What about you two getting in trouble would make your mom happy?”
“Oh.”
“I mean, it’s about what you two want to call us.”
You were still cradling Woobin’s head, and stroked over his hair reassuringly. “It’s okay, Binnie. Tell them what you told me.”
“I-I want to call Mr. Kun ‘Daddy,’” he mumbled, looking down intently at his lap. “But I don’t have to if it’s going to make you sad, Junyi!”
Junyi listened to Woobin, face turning entirely confused. “But he is your dad! Why wouldn’t you call him that?” He turned his bewildered look to you next. “And you’re our mom, right?!”
“Of course I am, bun-bun,” you smiled at him. “Binnie just needs to know if it’s going to make you upset for both of you to call your dad the same thing.”
“No, Bin, s’not gonna make me sad,” Junyi said strongly. “Will it make you sad if we call her the same thing?”
Woobin sniffled and looked up, finally displaying his teary eyes to everybody. He shook his head, and you felt relief blossom out through every part of you. Kun squeezed him tightly.
“Bub, sad cry, scary cry, or happy cry?” Kun asked him.
The child took several deep breaths before he finally answered. “I-I think it was scary first, but now it’s a happy cry, Daddy. Like Mommy does.”
Kun let out a strangled chuckle as he hugged Woobin even tighter to him, planting a kiss to his temple. “That’s okay, bub. Look at you, big kid with big feelings.”
“Daddy’s crying too!” Junyi gasped. “Is it happy crying, Daddy?”
“Yeah, buddy, it is,” he confirmed, cheeks noticeably damp.
Junyi felt at his own dry eyes. “Why am I not happy crying? Mommy, why am I not happy crying? ‘M happy! I am!”
“Oh, bunny, it’s okay,” you couldn’t help but laugh, rubbing his back affectionately. “You don’t have to cry to be really happy. Sometimes you’ll be really, really happy, the happiest you’ve ever been, and you won’t cry. Everybody’s different.”
“I do.”
“I do!” Sooyoung squealed.
The officiant’s remaining words were drowned out by the crowd erupting into cheers as Sooyoung was dipped into a kiss by her now-wife. You clapped from your place behind her as her maid-of-honor, your cheeks already hurting from all the smiling you’d been doing that day.
As they practically ran back down the aisle together, giddy, you were left standing at the arch, holding SooSoo’s wedding bouquet that she’d forgotten in her excitement. The music swelled again, your cue for the wedding party to file out as well. You fell in beside Ahrin’s best man, taking a more reasonable pace down the walkway. Looking into the guests that had stood up, you caught Kun’s eye from one of the middle rows, a familiar wide, overjoyed grin on his face. He was in the stratosphere again.
You met up with Kun at your table at the reception, the wedding party table. While he wasn’t in the party, he was your plus one, and your friend of course made sure he was seated with you. After the obligatory speeches—including one that you had to give—everyone could start eating. Kids were allowed at the wedding, but you wanted to make sure that you could put all your focus on making this the best day ever for your friend and didn’t want to have the boys out too late either, so they were at home with a babysitter. After the food was the couple’s first dance, and you watched fondly from your table as Sooyoung and Ahrin swayed together, clearly in their own world, exchanging words and giggles and laughs that you couldn’t hear.
Kun’s hand and yours were entwined on your lap, and when the DJ asked for the wedding party and their plus-ones to join the newlyweds, you pulled him to floor by that hand. As Kun’s other hand settled on your hip, you affectionately smoothed down the lapel of his suit jacket before resting yours on the curve where his neck met his shoulder.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he beamed at you.
“Hi, handsome,” you replied back humorously. “So, what’s on your mind?”
“You mean there could possibly be anything on my mind other than the fact that I’m dancing with the love of my life?”
“You’ve got that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“The ‘I’ve been launched into the stratosphere picturing our future together’ look,” you said frankly, but still with the same fond smirk on your lips. “So? What are you thinking about?”
His eyes widened minutely before he chuckled. “I’m having a good time with you, lovey. Is a guy not allowed to smile about that?”
“You are…”
“That’s all I was thinking about.” He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Always in the stratosphere when I’m with you.”
Despite his sweet words, you felt a twinge of disappointment in your chest, resting your cheek on his shoulder so he couldn’t see the contemplative frown on your face. The two of you were living together before Sooyoung and Ahrin had even met, you were raising two kids together right now, and had already discussed getting married—binders, spreadsheets, all your joint expectations for what you wanted out of a hypothetical future partnership like that. Why was he shying away from the subject now? Was seeing you actually at a wedding making him have second thoughts? Did it suddenly all seem too real? As if the binders and spreadsheets weren’t real enough?
Those weren’t questions to ask him now at your best friend’s wedding, so you bit your tongue, continuing to let him sway the two of you across the dance floor.
Later in the night, after your feet had gotten tired, Kun excused himself to use the restroom. You took the opportunity to catch your breath at the wedding party’s table. You’d been darting around the venue the whole time, either greeting friends of friends, dancing with people you knew, or stopping mishaps before they mis-happened. Some guests had started going home, so you felt somewhat comfortable taking a short rest.
You weren’t expecting one of the brides herself to sit down beside you, however.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Sooyoung asked knowingly.
You tried to perk up, slapping on a smile. “It’s nothing, SooSoo. My feet are tired. Why aren’t you with Ahrin?”
“We’re about to be together for the rest of our lives. I think she can piss by herself right now,” she replied.
“Oh, right.”
“And, it’s also my wedding, and I don’t want my best friend all sad and alone at my wedding. I know you’ve been fixing all my problems all day and all night. So will you let me help you with one of yours?”
You looked around to see if you could spot Kun anywhere, then leaned in towards her with a sigh. “Kun’s been acting weird today.”
“How?”
“We always talk about getting married pretty openly. But like, now that we’re at a wedding, it feels like he’s avoiding the topic.”
“Why haven’t you guys gotten married? You practically act like it anyway.”
“He still wants to surprise me with the proposal,” you said. “I told him no public proposals, no proposing on birthdays or holidays, and no proposing at other people’s weddings. But other than that…”
“When was that conversation? About getting married and engaged?”
You took a sip of your drink as you thought. “Mm… almost a year ago? Maybe ten months? It was a few conversations.”
“So Ahrin proposed like right after that,” she surmised. “He’s probably waiting for the right time. Making sure you weren’t too stressed with the kids, then the holidays, and being my maid-of-honor. Both of you are very thoughtful and also over-plan everything.”
“That’s true,” you sighed. “And also a bit less salient of a point coming from the poster child of U-Haul lesbians.”
Sooyoung wrapped an arm around your shoulders and rubbed your upper arm. “We’re different people in different relationships in different places in life, Y/N. You’ve got a really good guy who is head over heels for you and loves your kid as much as he loves you. Don’t forget all that in one night.”
“You’re right, SooSoo,” you leaned your head against hers. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She pecked your hair.
“Is everything okay?” Kun’s voice came from behind you, sounding very concerned.
“Oh, yeah, Y/N’s getting a little warm in here,” SooSoo informed him brightly, letting you go and standing back up. “Why don’t you take her outside, Kun? There’s a nice little garden walkway, I think there’s some benches out there.”
“Yeah, of course. Thanks, Sooyoung.”
Your friend gave you one last squeeze of your arm before taking back off into the crowd. Kun ushered you to your feet and guided you out of the main reception hall and into the much cooler nighttime air. Sooyoung was right, it was way less hot and stuffy out here, and there was a short walkway leading to a garden with some benches. Kun sat you down again there, rubbing your back as you stared listlessly out at the fountain in front of you. The fountain wasn’t on, the water inside of it still, and the air around you quiet and empty. In the distance, you could hear the music from the wedding venue, the thumping bass, and above you, a few stars dotted the sky next to a silver crescent moon.
“Is this better?” Kun asked you quietly.
“Yeah, thanks, Kun,” you replied shortly, still unable to shake the discomfort you felt from earlier. Despite your conversation with Sooyoung making sense in the moment, now that you were back with Kun, that uncertainty crept back into your mind.
“It was a lovely ceremony.”
“Yeah. SooSoo’s dress is beautiful on her.”
“Do you want to go home? If you’re not feeling—”
You suddenly straightened up to look Kun in the eye. “We’re going to get married, right? You do want to marry me, right, Kun?”
“Wh—” He scrambled to grab your hands in his, holding them tight. “Of course, love. Yes, of course I want to marry you, Y/N. Why would you think I didn’t?”
“I know we talk about it but… you haven’t proposed. And you’ve been acting weird tonight. And by weird, I mean normal. Like, not talking about marriage. We’ll be buying groceries, and you’ll somehow bring up us getting married, but now we’re at an actual wedding and you haven’t talked about us having one of our own at all…” The dam broke, all of your anxious rambles coming forth at once. “Nothing about if we should do this or that at ours, what flowers you might want, or even— You saw me at an altar holding a bouquet and are acting like it’s no big deal! You see our future in everything, but not today, and it’s been making me think that maybe you don’t see a future anymore.”
Oh god, you were fucking crying now. This was not how you wanted this conversation to go. Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you pushed them away with the back of your hand as you sniffled and tried to calm yourself down.
“Y/N, lovey, I am so sorry,” Kun’s voice was wavering too, and you knew he was holding back his own tears. “I do want to marry you, and I never wanted to make you think that I didn’t. You were right earlier, I’ve been in the fucking stratosphere all day, and I’ve been going crazy trying not to say every single thing that pops into my head about marrying you because I’ve got your ring and everything planned out for the proposal and it was going to be soon, I just wanted it to be a surprise for you and I didn’t want to accidentally spoil anything for you. But I never meant to hurt you, and I am so, so sorry that I did. God, I love you so much, it felt like my heart was going to give out when I saw you at the altar with a wedding bouquet, and then dancing after the first dance—”
You crushed your lips against his, letting go of one of his hands to wrap a hand around the back of his neck. He cupped your cheek softly, even as you kissed him like you hadn’t seen him in decades, and like you might never again, feverishly, past the point where you were out of oxygen and your head started spinning. Kun pulled back to pick up your left hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss on your ring finger.
“If I had it with me, I’d put your ring on you right now,” he promised, pressing another kiss to the empty knuckle. “Hell, we could elope tonight, find a drive-thru chapel.”
“The boys might feel left out,” you chuckled, pulling his mouth back to yours.
He hummed appreciatively against your lips, adding in between kisses, “Good— point. Pick them up on the way?”
“It’s past their bedtime.” You kissed him again. “They’d be cranky if we woke them up now.”
“Foiled again by two five-year-olds’ bedtime,” he sighed dramatically, leaning his forehead against yours.
“So how were you going to do it?”
“Do what?”
“Propose to me.”
“I’m still going to?”
“Well, I feel like I just ruined your surprise.”
“Me telling you what it’s going to be, would be ruining the surprise,” he scoffed and pulled back to let you see his indignant features. “Which I’m not going to do.”
You laughed, pecking his cheek. “I’m looking forward to it, my love.”
“And I’m looking forward to marrying you, and spending the rest of my life with you,” Kun sighed dreamily, pulling you in closer and resting his head against yours again. “I meant it when I said I’m always in the stratosphere with you, you know.”
“Me too, Kun.” You looped an arm around his back and under his suit jacket.
A few beats of peaceful silence went by, neither you nor Kun speaking, just the distant sounds of the music from the wedding, your own synchronized breathing, and a far-off train horn. You looked from the fountain up at the glowing half-moon above you.
“Thank you, lovey,” Kun broke the quiet, and you shifted your gaze to him, raising a curious eyebrow.
“You’re welcome?” You replied with slight amusement. “For what, love?”
“Somebody once told me that the whole point of being a parent was letting our kids know that they’re not alone in all this,” he began, rubbing his thumb over your shoulder where his hand rested.
“Who said that?”
“You did, lovey.”
“I did? Ooh, I’m smart,” you chuckled, patting his thigh. “You picked well, Qian Kun.”
He smiled at you fondly. “I know.”
“When did I say that?”
“Before we were even dating, you had invited Junyi and me to your apartment for a charcuterie night. When we were making that pitch for the preschool fundraising committee.”
“Oh, oh, oh, right.” You nodded quickly as the memories of that came flooding back to you. “You remember me saying that?”
“Of course. You completely changed my view on parenting that night.”
“Glad it was so life-changing for you.”
“It was also the moment I knew I was going to fall in love with you.”
You couldn’t help but laugh maybe a little too hard, “Oh, Kun.”
“What’s that laugh for?” He chuckled lightly despite his obvious confusion.
“I’m just remembering how I was totally going to jump your bones that night and then Junyi walked in. Meanwhile you are just… so sweet, as always,” you admitted, stroking his cheek with the back of your fingers.
Kun’s eyes crinkled as he laughed and keeled forward a little. You let him laugh into your neck, cradling the back of his head as his shoulders continued to shake.
“I—” He coughed into his elbow as he righted himself and tried to compose himself again. His eyes were sparkling with tears from how hard he’d laughed as he looked at you now, and you affectionately touched the crinkles around his eye as a couple more giggles escaped him. Once he’d finally sobered up enough, he tried again, “You’ve also helped me realize that’s not just what being a parent is about, though. That’s what being a partner is, too. Making sure your person knows they’re not doing it alone. And I hope that’s how I make you feel, too.”
“Qian Kun, love of my life that you are—” you shook your head and grabbed his face with two hands. “Of course you do, and it’s taking everything in me not to squish your head right now because of how much I love you.”
Kun just laughed again, covering your hands with his and slotting your lips together.
⤷ masterlist
#kun x reader#wayv x reader#bjnet#kun imagines#wayv imagines#kun imagine#wayv imagine#kun#nct x reader#nct imagine#nct imagines#qian kun#i: kun#f: the bite#writing#text#mine#bias tag#kunkun#*100#*200
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Helloo!!! im in such a Jason Grace era these days and fics for him are SO limited in the fandom?? its actually super sad. i loved your previous jason fic smm, Would you consider making a Jason x fem!reader where Jason just has a veryy bad day, he gets overwhelmed by everything and everyone, and he just cries into reader's arms and she comforts him?
i feel like he deserved to just cry it all out atleast once, considering the amount of pressure the poor boy has had from everything :( so i would lovee to read about that!
⛧° as long as we're together °⛧
⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧
⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧
content: jason grace x fem!reader
warnings: angst but then it’s fluff, kinda short, cursing, 5’3 (1,60m) reader, life in New Rome!
a/n: HA LOOK WHO’S POSTING TWICE IN JUST ONE DAY???? hehehe i love this request so much my boo deserves more in his life i don’t fucking care.
⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧
Sometimes it’s just too hard to be Jason Grace.
The mighty son of Jupiter. Pontifex Maximus. Counselor of the Zeus cabin. Juno’s Champion. Hero of Omlympus. Centurion of the Fifth Cohoort.
The titles were endless. And so was the work.
And everyone, and i mean everyone, counted on him for various things and reasons.
“Hey Jason, are you coming to capture the flag?” Annabeth asked, every week.
“Hey superman, come to bunker 9!” As always, Leo wanting to show him some new cool tricks or projects.
“Oi, sparky! Can you help me pick an outfit for my date?” Piper would ask him.
He was just so tired. He just wanted to tell them all to fuck themselves.
But he would never. He was too noble to do that. He just wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he knew his friends were needing him and he was… well, being a human and an young adult, taking care of his own stuff.
So when he got home from another endless day, back to his shared apartment in New Rome and to his beautiful girlfriend, who made him his favorite dessert - brownies with caramel and peanuts -, he broke down almost instantly.
Obviously, you ran towards him, scooping him in your arms - which was a difficult task, since he was almost a whole foot taller than you - but you did it anyways, pulling him close to your body, letting him sob in your shoulder as you tried to soothe him.
You had never seen him cry like that, clinging on you for dears life. Once again, he was never one to show his real feelings to anyone, not even your or Thalia.
You scooted him in your arms, rubbing soft circles at his back while you whispered small ‘shh’s and ‘it’s gonna be okay’s in his ear, the both of you say in the floor of your cozy apartment.
After a few minutes of compulsive crying, your shoulder and the upper part of your white tank top completely soaked in hot, wet tears, he finally calmed down - at least a little.
“Hey, honey.” You finally whisper into his ear as he pulls away from your embrace, eyes all puffy and red as he sniffles and wipes his tears with the back of his hand.
“Hey..” He mumbles, his tone low and cracked as you kept caressing his hair smoothly. You caressed his hair and gave a soft and gentle kiss so his cheek.
“Are you okay?” You were answered with a soft nod of his head as he scooted closer to you, snuggling against you warm body and keeping his head on your chest. He looked like a five year old child, and that made you smile. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.. not now. Is that okay?” He asked, his voice all mushy and muffled by his cheek tightly pressed against you body.
“Of course it is, my love. Do you want to eat? We have pasta with that sauce you like.” She said between little kisses in his eyes, his cheeks, the bridge of his nose and his lips. “And i made you your favorite brownies.”
“Mmhmm…” He let out a content mumble, finally pulling away from him and giving you a kiss on the lips. “After that i… after that i’ll talk to you, ‘kay?”
“‘Kay. But you have to eat before. Come on, i’ll help you get up.” She said as she got up and held out her hand for him to grab.
You finally got on your feet, and you turned around to reheat the food. When you were at the oven, he wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled his face into your neck, breathing heavily as he kept the closest he could to you.
Soon, the food was on the table, and the doorbell rang. It was the girl that walked with your dog. You thanked her and pulled Thor, your golden retriever, inside the house.
He immediately went to Jason, wiggling his tail and giving him the biggest licks in the world while the blond laughed.
You smiled at the sight. You knew that he was obviously hurting with something, and you were going to discover with what, but, right now, he just needed some love.
You gave him just that, as you ate together chilling and chatting about your days, you talking more than him.
He helped you with the laundry while you washed the dishes, and the chores were finished very quickly. You went back and cuddled up on the couch, a massive ball of fur, aka your dog, resting comfortably between you two.
You heard when Jason sighed and felt his shoulders shaking, showing his impending collapse, once again. You cyy it deles him closer to you as he cried and cried. His sobs were the only thing heard in the house.
Ten minutes later, when he was calmer, you were stroking his hair in the softest way you could, making sure he would be ready to talk.
“I-i’m just so… tired. Of everything and everyone. It’s- i know it’s selfish, but i can’t help but want to just… ran away. To just stay with you and Thor and give up on the rest of the world.” He said, his words are muffled and smudgy as he holds onto you.
“I know, baby… You shouldn’t work yourself out. You’re doing too much. More than you should, and you know that. You have too much work.” She said, kissing the top of his head.
“I just- i can’t let them just, you know, alone. It’s.. i can’t.” The son of Jupiter said, crying more.
“Honey, they won’t be alone. We have Reyna and Frank and Percy and lots of other people that you can use some help from. You’re not alone. Ever.” She said, reassuringly.
“But-“
“No buts. You’re gonna take a week off, and we’re just gonna hang out here, together, with Thor. No works, no college, no Pontifex Maximus stuff. Just y/n and Jason. And that’s not a request.”
He mumbles something but snuggles closer to you. “Fine. As long as we’re together.”
a/n: i’m literally so proud of myself bro, i got to do two, TWO works today. i’m evolving boos
#postcards from leah#jason grace x reader#jason grace x y/n#jason grace#jason grace x you#percy jackson#pjo#pjo hoo toa
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Rottmnt brothers Sick Fics
Im making a new serise! This is where reader take care of their boyfriend while they are sick but make is rottmnt! This will be four chapters starting with Leo!
REQUESTS OPEN PLS SEND! REQUESTS OPEN FOR FLUFF AND KINKTOBER AS WELL!!
Aythors note: Thank you my boo boo bear for making this prompt for me! This is gn reader and Leo and all the brothers are aged up slightly so they are older teens/newly adults.
🍊: Y/n!
🍊: Y/n!
You: MIKEY! Why are you spaming me?
🍊: Leo's sick! And insufferable please come pick him up so we don't have to deal with him anymore 🙏🙏🙏
You: Why does he have to be my problem?????
🍊: Well he's asking for you?
🍊: Plus I'm almost 1000% sure Donnies about to throw him in the sewers for being annoying
You: Fine I'll be there soon
🍊: THANK YOU 🙏🙏!
You set down your phone onto your chest, you were peacefully laying on your bed when Mikey started texting you. With a groan you slowly start to get up and make your way to the lair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Guys?" You call through the lair while walking through the living room. Through the ceiling a swirl of blues pops up and drops out your boyfriend. He face plants on the ground and stays up before falling slack.
"Leo!" You rush towards him to help him sit up straight. "Babe! You're here! They're being so mean to me-" He drags out the last syllable of 'me'. Leo sniffles before giving you a hug and putting his face in the crook of your neck.
"Ew gross. I'm happy to see you to but get your sicko self away from me." You lightly push at his shoulders and he's weak enough in his sick state that it effectively gets him off of you.
He let's out a disgruntled whine but let's himself be pushed away. You slowly start to help him up off the floor as Donnie comes out of his lab, most likely to check out all the commotion. "Oh thank Galileo." He says with a please sigh. "Finally he's someone else's problem."
You finally get Leo off the floor and one arm swung over your shoulder, he's basically leaning all of his weight onto you. He seems to be out of it, probably drugged up on too many meds since all the human ones don't work well on him.
You look up towards his brother, "Is he really that bad?" You ask hopeful that the brother is over reacting. Donnie nods his head and and calls out "Good luck!" while walking back into his lab.
You sigh and watch him leave, putting your focus back on Leo when he starts to cough. Once his fit calms down you ask if he's ok. All he let's out his a hum and a sniffle.
"Alright, do you want to stay here or go back to my place?" Leo doesn't raise his head from where it's resting on on you. "You sound like you're trying to pick me up at a bar." He mumbles against your skin.
You laugh slightly and shake your head, "Do you want my help or not?" Your words lack any weight but he still whines at the idea of you leaving. "Your place." The mumble is quiet and you could only hear it since he was close to your ear.
"I'm assuming you can't use your sword right now so we'll have to somehow get to my car." You take a few steps forward but quickly realize holding up the terrapin while walking was extremely difficult. Especially when Leo refuses to take steps.
"I can still use my sword! Just watch." Before you can stop him Leo grabs his sword and makes a portal beneath you. For a second all you hear is a whooshing sound, it fades off as you fall into your apartments living room.
"Leo what the hell." You groan and push yourself off the floor and start to help Leo up as well. "I got us to your house didn't I?" He starts to cough as he says the last word.
"Yeah but you probably gave us both concussions." He groans when he has to stand and open his eyes to see the bright lights of your house. Leo mumbles "headache." So you move to turn them off after laying him down on your couch.
"What medicine have you had?" You ask your half asleep boyfriend. "I don't know, whatever Raph made me take." He speaks into the cushion making every word muffled.
"So I'm assuming I shouldn't give you any, want any tea or soup?" Your voice is soft so you don't hurt Leo's head more than it already is. "Tea would be nice." You give him a kiss on the part of his head that's not planted into the couch.
"I'll be back soon, try to get comfy." He mumbles something into the pillow as he starts to reach around for a blanket. After a few minutes of making Leo's favorite tea you head back to the living room.
You find a very comfortable looking Leo curled up in a hoard of blankets. "I got your tea, you want to watch anything?" You ask while setting his mug infront of him of the coffee table. "Jupiter Jim, I need him to save me." He coughs in-between his words but you understand and put in one of his favorites.
"Can do drama queen." You laugh at his tone. "You know what would really save me?" He asks with a teasing tone. You roll your eyes, already assuming it will be something dramatic. "If you came over and cuddled me."
You walk back towards him while shaking your head. "I don't want to get sick Leo." Your voice is whiney, although cuddling your boyfriend is one of your favorite things. Right now he seems very yucky.
"Please-" He drags out the last syllable time he's out of breath. He gives you puppy dog eyes that melt your heart a little. "Fine-" You hardly get the words out before he's yanking you into his blanket nest.
After getting comfortable and starting the movie you can tell Leo's starting to fall asleep. You are laying on your back against the arm rest of your couch, Leo is laying atop you with his head on your chest and arms wrapped around your waist.
"I love you y/n." His voiced is slurred with sleep and slightly muffled from how he's laying but it doesn't lose sentiment. Your hand that was lightly scratching his shell pauses as you look down at the now past out turtle.
"I love you to Leo." You give him a kiss on the forehead and pause the movie. After getting a bit more comfortable you resume your scratches and start to lull off into sleep.
#leonardo hamato#Leonardo Hamato x reader#Leo x reader#Tmnt x reader#Tmnt#Rottmnt#Rottmnt x reader#disaster twins#rise tmnt#rottmnt movie#rise of the tmnt#Leo x reader fluff#Tmnt x reader fluff#Rottmnt x reader fluff#Tmnt fluff#Rottmnt fluff
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OK OKAY LISTEN TO THIS LISTEN TO MY WORD being friends with the main 4 but they give you princess treatment headcannons😋 😋🤭
─Headcanons─
main 4 x reader older ver.
hc; princess treatment from the main 4
cw; none ⤵
Out of all of them I think we all know who would be most caring and gently with you
kyle, duhh
or kenny 🤔
anyway
Being the only girl in the group it's kinda rough probably even humiliating but it's okay Kyle does his best to treat you well, helping with homework, buying you lunch, driving you anywhere you need to go, and making sure he listens to EVERY detail of the gossip you found out.
Basically like a boyfriend but just friends and no kissing 💁🏾♀️
I mean he still rips on you time to time, you're friends with those main 4 obviously but it's to a minimum.
If you just broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend he's totally like "girl WHAATT, WHAT HAPPENED?"
then once you explain all in tears, snot coming from your leaky nose he brings you close gently rubs your back.
"awh it's okay, you'll be fine I didn't like them anyway.. wanna get ice cream and watch horribly made romance movies?"
you sniffled, nodding and leaning away from him. "Yeah.. I wanna do that.."
"Alright I'll get more tissues to clean you up, you are a hot mess right now."
"I JUST GOT DUMPED, OBVIOUSLY IM GONNA–"
"Tissues..right!"
He's like a mom lowkey when it comes to you
Okay I'm gonna say it right here and now cartman does not give two SHITS for or about you so don't expect much from him
I mean sometimes really random times he'll ask if you want to go get drinks and maybe get your nails done... but very rarely..
"hey fag, wanna go to the mall and.. like buy stuff, maybe get our nails done too?"
"cartman that's like hella faggy.. of course I wanna do that."
You guys go to the mall, look around shop a little here and there (with your eyes) since bro was NOT finna pay for your broke ass 😭😭😭
Jk he DID buy you like a jacket you wanted, only because it looked good on him so he was just like "what the hell?" And bought you it
but just so he can steal it from you
LMAO
He did spoil you with the pedicure though at least 🤷🏾♀️
hmm okay stan is soo silly
bro doesn't really care much
you wanna go get drinks, got chu
get wasted on a random Wednesday night? He'll sneak over with boos
you want his shirts to wear cause you think they are cool?
gives you some and some more just for the hell of it
you guys totally match on some days
pretty chill tbh, gives you mostly anything you want he's like the chill dad just drinks all the time
Cannot say the same to Kenny though 🤕
Doesn't have any money so he can't spend much going anywhere with you
But princess treatment isn't all about money sometimes!!!11!!!!
As your friend that's a GUYY he listens carefully to the things you complain about time to time, probably pitching in some things to fix your problems too.
I'd say he likes to braid your hair as you rant off
Take you on walks just to hang out
build some Legos together that he saved up with you 😭😭😭
Quality time is his specialty fr
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Hi Kai🤗 I was wondering if I can request something with Eddie? I had this idea in my mind where Eddie finds the reader (the usual quiet and shy student) crying in school alone, he approach her nicely and offer her his bandana to dry the tears, since he has no tissues with him, and they end up talking a bit to. The next day she goes to hellfire club to give him the washed bandana, thank him and maybe Eddie asks her to stay and watch them play? From that day they became closer and closer and the feelings for each others get stronger?
I'm very sorry if this is too much. You can change whatever you want about this or just don't write it if you don't like. But thanks anyway ❤️ hope you have a great day
hi francy!!!! im so so so sorry that i took so long to finish your request. i've been so busy but i hope i was able to do your request justice <3
thank you so much for your sweet comments and support...i hope you like this! i piggybacked off your ideas and inserted a bit of mine and what im going through at the moment so i hope this is alright!! 💫💘🧸
Existing shouldn’t feel this hard…but for you it was starting to become that way.
It had all caught up to you. The different personas you had built up in order to fit in whatever crowd you were floating around were slowly crumbling right before everyone’s eyes.
You started to feel this heaviness in your chest, the one that makes you feel like you’re suffocating about to die at any given moment, yet you’re just here…suffering.
High school was cruel and so were the students who didn’t care how much you tried to fit in or how you were kind to everyone, despite their own attitudes.
It wasn’t your fault, yet it always felt like that.
But you didn’t want the whole school population seeing you like this, crying because you didn’t feel like you belonged. There were bigger and more important problems in the world and here you were crying in the empty drama classroom because you felt like nobody liked you.
boo fucking hoo.
“C’mon get it t-together.” You said through straggled breaths, fanning yourself in order to dry your wet cheeks despite the constant drip from your eyes.
You should’ve opted to cry in the bathroom but anyone could walk in and see you there, so the drama room seemed to be the perfect place
“I’m on the highwaaaayyy to — oh! sorry! I didn’t know you were in here!”
Fuck.
Quickly you turned away from the door, shaking your head and letting out a string of words, “Nonono, you’re fine…sorry, I didn’t think anyone was coming in here. Just give me a sec and I’ll leave.”
“No, I’ll leave!” He attempted to defuse the situation, backing away towards the door until you turned around and shook your head with your hands wiping away at your tear stained cheeks.
“It’s fine, E-Eddie, I know you use this room for your club.” You spoke faintly, attempting to shallow out your sniffles that still broke into your words.
You reached down, going to pick up your backpack that you had dropped down, “You can stay…i’m just coming in here to skip chemistry.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stood up straight, eyeing him through your blurry vision and nodding, going over to the desk and sitting down. You didn’t bother trying to stop your crying. If anything, you let the dam of salty tears continue to flow down your cheeks as if Eddie wasn’t here watching you, unsure of what to do.
He slowly approached you, placing down his binder on the table and then rustling around the small room in search of some tissues.
“There’s gotta be some tissues in here somewhere…c’mon.” He muttered to himself, opening cabinets and drawers, sorting through a bunch of junk as you continued to cry, paying him no mind at all.
Eddie cursed to him, finding no successes to locate any tissues, not even paper towesl. And to run down to the bathroom to grab some for you would only risk him getting caught by some janitor or teacher, leaving him with another referral that would result in some type of graduation punishment.
“Uh…” Eddie said half unsurely, as he stood on the side of you.
You removed your hands from your eyes, visibly confused as to why he was standing so close to you, before you saw his fingers reach behind him and begin undoing the knot that secured the fabric to his belt loop.
“You can use this…it’s clean, by the way!” The black bandana was fitted between his two fingers, lightly blowing from the a/c unit a couple of feet away.
You smiled weakly, nodding your head as you took it, immediately patting it across your cheeks and under your eyes, “T-thanks.”
He waved it off like no big deal and gestured towards the chair next to you, silently asking if he could take a seat. When you nodded, he said nothing, just pulling out the chair and shooting you an apologetic look as the metal feet scraped against the floors, making a loud squeak.
“Do you…wanna talk about it?” Eddie proposed, immediately regretting it the second it came out of his mouth because, really, who in their right mind would want to talk about to a stranger about their problems that had them crying in the drama room of all places.
“People are so mean.” You sniffled, looking at him through your damp lashes, the tear drops clinging to the delicate hairs as it dotted your vision of him.
He sighed, nodding his head slowly and drumming his fingers against the wood, “Yeah…I get it, people are fucked up.”
“I get so tired of trying to fit in, and making real friends is so hard.”
“I could be your friend.” He shrugged nonchalantly as you turned your head, a hopeful glimmer in your eyes and your mouth moved, but not formulating any of the words you were trying to find.
“R-really?”
Eddie chuckled, nodding his head and gesturing to himself, “That is, if you want to be friends with a freak.”
You managed to crack a smile and shake your head, patting your cheeks with the thin fabric once more, “You’re not a freak, Eddie.”
“No?” Eddie raised his brows at you, and you nodded assuringly, reaching out to pat his hand that was now resting on the table.
“I would like to be your friend….would like to get to know you.” You proposed with a soft voice and he nodded, leaning over with a giddy smile upon his face.
“You’re in for a ride, cupcake.” You smiled at his inflection, nodding your head.
Now here you were, standing right outside the same drama room you were crying in just yesterday afternoon. You could hear the clamoring voices and the squeaks from the moving chairs coming from the inside.
Eddie had mentioned his club and how they would meet every day after school to play their little fantasy game…something he told you about, and even show you his binder full of ideas for campaigns. It was a bit confusing, but interesting nevertheless.
So while you and Eddie did share a few short conversations in the hallways during passing, you wanted to get to know him some more, desperate for a conversation…one that was filled with true intentions of a friend.
Your fist knocked on the door, the voices inside coming to a stop and now becoming whispers while you waited.
“Mr. Jones, I told you before we have permission to—Oh! Hey!”
Eddie immediately went into happy mode seeing your figure standing on the other side of the door. His friends slowly crowding around, whispering among themselves in order to find out why you were here.
“Hi.” You grinned, fingers twiddling with a little wave and a smile on your face.
He turned his headed back, sensing the whispers become a bit too loud. Shooting his friends a warning glare, they all turned back around, going back to setting up for today’s campaign while you stood there anxiously tapping your foot on the ground and looking around, trying not to catch their eyes.
“Sorry about them.” Eddie apologized, a small chuckle leaving his lips as you waved him off with a shake of your head.
“Don’t…I just wanted to come by and give this back to you.” You held out the black bandana, now neatly folded, as he looked down at it, “I washed it so you don’t have to worry about my tears.”
He shook his head with a grin, taking it from you and instantly unfolding it to tie it back around the belt loop of his jeans, “Thanks…do you, umm, wanna stay and watch?”
Eddie gestured back behind him, watching as the table was nearly almost set up with chairs around and his throne smack dab at the head of it.
You peeked it on your tiptoes, offering a sweet smile to his friends who watched on, “Are you sure they won’t mind?”
Eddie rolled his eyes jokingly and shook his head, “They’ll be fine…plus you’re my friend and friends introduce each other to their other friends right?”
“Right.” You smiled, nodding your head and stepping forward as he made way for you to enter the room.
He closed the door softly, clearing his throat as he stood next to you, “Guys, meet my new girlfriend…wait! I meant girl and in female….she’s my new female friend!”
You stifled your laughter while biting your tongue as Eddie cursed to himself, and even flipped off his friends, who didn’t care too much, letting out their hollering laughs.
“Nice to meet you all.” You said waving at each of them as Eddie recovered from embarrassment and his friends calmed down from their laughter.
“You too, Eddie’s girl. friend.” A curly-headed boy quipped, following suit by Eddie groaning.
“Henderson, shut up and get her a chair.”
The young boy stood up, reaching over and pulling out an extra one and place it right beside Eddie’s grand throne. Dramatically holding his arms out, he spoke, “For the King and his Queen.”
You giggled, shaking your head as Eddie turned to you and mouthed a “sorry,” while they laughed again. He rested a gentle hand on the small of your back, guiding you to your chair where you took a seat and grinned.
“I could so get used to this.”
That was the first time you had ever sat in on one of Eddie’s DnD campaigns, and certainly not the last. In fact, nowadays you were definitely his queen, which meant you that while you were only searching for a true friend, you got something way better…a lover who was your best friend
#MunsonsReputation#eddie munson#eddie x you#eddie stranger things#eddie x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie fluff#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson stranger things#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x you#eddie fanfic#eddie munson angst#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#eddie munson imagines#stranger things imagine#stranger things#stranger things x reader#stranger things fluff#eddie munson boyfriend
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it meant nothing.
group: tomorrow x together !
pairing: college bf!choi soobin x f!reader
genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff
warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationsips, petnames, crying, kissing, mentions of cheating, lovers to exes to lovers again, break up and make up, soobin kisses another girl, injuries, mentions of blood, suggestive at the end, beomgyu is soobins roommate, soobin is referred to as bin and soob.
authors note: i write wayyyy too much angst :((( i should probably make them happier but my upcoming changbin fic is also angsty </3 this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)
wc: 2132
everything comes crashing down at the sight of your boyfriend kissing her. sure, school has been a lot, but when is it not?
but this? nothing can compare to this pain. you lock eyes with him after he pushes her away, a crestfallen look on his face. you’re not sure why.
is it pity? is it regret? whatever it is, you don’t care to find out. you rush to the door, the crowd erupting in ‘boo’s and lots of yelling, making way for you to get out.
soobin chases after you of course, you’re not very surprised. “y/n! wait!”
you grab your phone and use the flashlight to clear the way, walking to your dorm. you can hear him chasing after you, but your pace only increases.
“y/n please! please just listen to me…”
“what’s there to listen to? you kissed a girl, big deal, you regret it. i know how the story goes, soobin, im not that naive.”
he winces at the sound of his name slipping from your tongue, the two syllables sounding disgusting coming from you.
“it’s not my fault, y/n! she came onto me, i swear!”
“isn’t that what everyone says? ‘it wasn’t my fault?’ nothing you say will change my mind. you kissed her, and that’s not fair to me. there’s nothing left to fix.”
“i didn’t want to kiss her…”
“yeah, well… seemed like you only pushed her away when i looked at you.”
you continue walking, and there’s another moment of silence. you know he’s still following, but you suspect he must just be going to his dorm.
that is, of course, until you hear the sniffles. “stop crying. this is your fault. i get that i haven’t been the best to you affectionately lately, especially because of finals, but that gives you no right to just… kiss other girls at random fucking parties.”
“i- i’m telling you… i didn’t want to kiss her.”
“sure.”
you finally make your way to your dorm, grabbing your keys from your bag. you turn around to see soobin still there.
this time around, he doesn’t fight it. he knows your hurting, and he knows you need space. he just prays you don’t need it forever.
you open the door, looking back at your now ex boyfriend for the last time. “text me if you change your mind. i’ll be waiting for you, love.”
you roll your eyes at the petname, walking into your home and quickly shutting the door from behind you.
you stop walking when you hear a sound from the door, similar to a whimper, and you look out your window. they’re tinted so that it’s a one way, and he has no idea you can even see him in this state right now.
he cries so hard that you can hear his voice cracking with every sound, and he finally gets up after a ten minutes, resting his head along the window you’re peeking through.
“i love you…”, it comes out muffled, but you can still hear it. a teardrop falls onto the glass as he finally accepts your decision. he walks down the steps to leave, when suddenly he slips, hitting his knee on the brick.
he lays there, unable to move due to his mental state, and just smiles up at the sky. the clouds flash a white, then return to their black color, finally pouring down onto him.
the blood from his knee washes away with the rain, but he doesn’t care about that. his wounds don’t matter to him anymore, it’s your wounds that are important.
you can’t bear to look at him anymore, but you check back every ten minutes to make sure he isn’t badly hurt.
the next time you check, he’s already gone, limping across the pavement and wailing. his tears mix with the rain water, disguising his sadness.
there has to be some way he can prove it to you. prove his love, prove his innocence. he needs you back. he needs you to believe him.
life without soobin feels different. it’s as if he’s been completely wiped from your life now that you’ve broken up with him. he hasn’t been to classes, nor is he there to drive you around.
you find comfort in your roommate, but it doesn’t feel the same as it was with soobin. now that you’re completely sober, it’s harder to think about what happened.
he kissed that girl just a week ago, but his words still replay in your head.
‘i didn’t want to kiss her’
he said it many times that night, maybe you should give him a chance to explain. you figure that’s the best idea, and quickly get ready to head to his dorm.
the walk is short, but it feels so much longer with your thoughts. there’s a terrible feeling in your gut, he hasn’t been to class at all. what if something happened to him?
was he really that hurt that he couldn’t even make it to his classes? you rush up the steps, knocking on the door.
beomgyu swings open the door, a smile erupting on his face as soon as he sees you. that means soobin is back right? gyu desperately needs some help with math.
“hey gyu… can i talk to soobin for a second?”
his smile instantly drops, and you suspect it’s because soobin doesn’t want to talk to you.
“what?”
“please? i know he’s probably upset, but—“
“i thought he was staying with you?”
you’re surprised at first, and then your heart just plummets into your stomach. “w-what? what do you mean…”
worry flashes over his face now, “i- he didn’t text me back after the party. i thought he stayed at your place…?”
you shake your head, “no… we broke up.”
“so… he’s not at your dorm… and he’s not at mine… have you seen him in any classes?”
you shake your head again, tears welling up in your eyes. what could’ve happened to him?
“um… i’ll call and check. i’m sure he just needs some space or something…”
you nod, the tears finally escaping your lashline. “let me know if you reach him. thanks gyu”
you dart down the steps before he can say another word. you hear him calling out your name from behind, but you can’t even focus on that right now.
you run all the way to the creek you always used to go to. this was your favorite place to have dates with soobin. the sun always shines perfectly here, but not today.
the clouds shroud the brightness of the sun, the dark grey sky ready to let go and pour down. and so it does, the heavy droplets hitting the rocks and drenching you.
the cool wind hits you too, making it even colder, but you don’t say anything. you let yourself drown in your feelings for a bit. what if it truly wasn’t his fault?
you let yourself cry, no one else being around to see you so weak. the rain is too loud for you to be able to hear the crinkling of the leaves behind you, the shrouded figure startling you.
you know who it is the second you see his injured knee, but you don’t say anything, too scared to face him. he sits down next to you, wordless and clearly afraid.
you can’t tell if he’s shaking because of the cold or because of his sobs, but you assume it’s a little bit of both.
whatever soobin did, you know that he still loves you, but you’re scared that he really did want to kiss that girl.
you use your pinky to grab onto his hand, holding it in yours. his heart cracks more and more, until he’s finally breaking down. the rain has finally stopped, but soobin still feels like he’s drowning.
his sobs are much clearer now that it’s quiet, and the guilt eats you up. you try to think of something to say, but nothing comes out.
luckily, he speaks first.
“what are you doing here?
“i wanted to talk to you. gyu told me you weren’t at the dorms. we were worried about you, you know.”
“i’m sorry… i just figured you needed some space…”
you clutch onto his hand tighter, letting him continue. “i know you might not want to talk about this right now, but… i promise she came onto me.”
you nod, still scared of course, but trying your best to understand him. his breathing gets heavier, almost sounding like he’s suffocating.
“i’d never try to hurt you, ever… and i regret what happened with every fiber of my being. i shouldn’t have been close enough for her to do that to me… i should’ve just stayed with you- and im… im so sorry”
“soobin…”
his breathing gets even heavier with his sobs, unable to even look at you. “i-“
“bin?”
“i- i can’t—“
“hey hey hey… deep breaths”
you guide him through it, inhaling and exhaling with him. you manage to calm him down, frowning. “soobin…”
“no… i- i have a video. her friend recorded it and sent it to me…”
“what?”
he struggles to unlock his phone, fingers still slippery, but he hands it to you. you watch him struggle to push her off, her hands gripping his wrists tightly. tears fall from your eyes again at the sight, why didn’t you trust him?
you look back up at him again, only to be met with a sobbing soobin again. “i’m so sorry… i know it’s selfish but… i need you”
you set the phone aside, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him in for a hug. “soobin… i’m so sorry… i should’ve trusted you.”
“n-no, i know what it looked like. it’s okay…”
“no, i should’ve let you explain.”
a moment of silence passed, the only sound being the sniffles passed between you two and the leaves rustling in the wind.
“do you still want to break up?”
“what? soobin- no… i never wanted to break up… i just- i thought you kissed her on purpose. it seemed like the right thing to do, since i thought you just got bored of me”
he pulls you onto his lap, smiling and grabbing his phone back, making sure not to drop it into the creek.
“i know we’ve been very busy because of our studies, but i would never get bored of you.”
he strokes your hair out of your face, leaning into kiss your cheek. his actions are so tender, even after all the pain you’ve caused him, and you almost start crying again.
“how’s your knee?”
“oh- i… i think it’s okay. it’s not broken or anything, but—“
“i’m so sorry.”
“oh, it’s no biggie. i just slipped.”
“no soobin. i’m sorry for not listening. i wouldn’t have caused you so much pain otherwise.”
“it’s okay… you thought i kissed her. from the angle you saw, i would’ve thought so too.”
you cry into his shoulder once more, his warmth spreading through your entire body. if you weren’t focused, you probably wouldn’t even hear him whisper.
“i love you… y/n.”
you hadn’t heard those words from him in an entire week, but it felt like your heart was breaking again. he sounds so… small. tentative, almost.
as if he thinks you won’t say it back.
“i love you too, soob.”
he picks you up, kissing the tip of your nose and walking towards his dorm again. “soobin! i can walk by myself. if anything, i should be helping you. you’re injured.”
“for you, id travel miles by foot even if my legs were broken…”
“you’re so corny.”
he smiles softly, another tear leaving his eye. “w-wait, no- i didn’t mean it in a bad way”
“i know… i wasn’t crying about that. i just missed hearing your voice.”
“oh baby…”
you hug him a little tighter, leaving small kisses onto his neck to comfort him a little. you finally arrive at his dorm, and he carefully makes his way up the stairs.
you kiss him again before he can even get his keys out, and he smiles at you. but then you do it again. and again.
he unlocks the door, removing his keys and kicking the door open. your lips are still on his, a newfound motivation to make everything up to him.
“oh! you guys are… back…”
beomgyu watches the two of you rush into soobins room with wide eyes, confused as to what’s going on, but he just closes the front door and lays back on the couch.
before he can even turn the movie back on, a loud moan rips through the apartment. he groans, covering his face with a pillow.
this was going to be a long night.
<3
#atinyniki#tomorrow x together#txt#txt x y/n#txt x reader#txt imagines#txt angst#txt fluff#txt x you#soobin#choi soobin#soobin angst#soobin fluff#soobin x reader#soobin x y/n
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TF Bois reaction when they know you've been abused before and they accidentally slap / hit / kick you during sleep, like when they turn around and their hand lands in your face or they jerk up their knee and it hits you in the stomach. You're totally okay with it, bc it was an accident, but they are freaking out cause of your past? 🥹
going straight for the juggulr huh? (And i have not forgottena bout you and Del's asks about awakening will tee hee)
CW mentions of abuse and pregnancy
okay so
Frankie is beside himself. He had a nightmare, a really bad nighterror and when you gently laid a hand on him to wake him he slapped you. His eyes weren't even open yet, but when he does and he see's you staring over him with wide eyes holding your face, he breaks. You want to comfort him, to hold him after a nightmare but you're frozen. You aren't scared of him, just in shock. he's quickly scrambling to sit up and he goes to hold you, squeezing you tight the way he knows you like that calms your anxiety. You manage to get out 'its okay, its okay' as he holds you but you can feel tears falling onto your neck
It wasn't Will's fault, really. You were a very toss and turn sleeper, so when he rolled over in his sleep and his chest covered your fault, you shouldn't have been there. Later, Will would tell you it was impossible for you to control your sleep movements any more than it was for him... but he knew you had it drilled into your head whenever your ex hurt you that it was your fault. He also knew you contrantly had justified what your ex did, calling it accidents again and again while Will watched his friend become someone so far removed from the person he knew... so when you used the same langauge as you did for him, Will felt sick. He was a slight sleeper, so as soon as your body moved under him, struggling to breath, he was awake and off you... But it drives him crazy that he can lose control in his sleep. It takes a lot of gentle reassurence before he starts sleeping close to you again, but you don't let him close himself off.
Santi was falling asleep fine when suddenly, as happens sometimes, he felt like was falling. He jolts, kneeing you in the stomach. You were awake still, enjoying watching his stressed face so peaceful, so it didn't come as a major shock, but you could see the guilt flood his previously calm features so quickly. He moves to reach out for you, an apoligy on his lips, but then he sees you flinch and he's not sure he can ever forgive himself. He knows what happened to you, he knows how much you suffered, so seeing fear in your eye broke him. But your fear isn't that he's going to hurt you, your fear is for the baby inside you. He's slower with his movements now. "I''m so sorry, baby.... im so fucking sorry." You love how gentle and tender he becomes, always soothing you. The kneeing wasn't hard, and everything was okay... you woke up to breakfast in bed.
Ben didn't wanna wake up, so when he felt someone trying to make him, he kept nudging. He felt like he was still in a dream, some wierd ass star wars dream and those stupid porgs were hopping on him so he kept pushing them off. Until he pushed one hard, heard a yelp he recognized and a thud. Jolting awke and butt naked, Ben sits up to see he pushed you off the bed and onto the floor. You were holding your head, and there was a dent in the wall. A fucking dent. He pushed you so hard you dented the wall, and now you were hurt and crying. 'Shit shit shit...' He mumbles and, butt naked, scooping you up and onto his lap. "Im so sorry baby, fuck I- im fucking sorry, I thought- it was a dream, and the porgs-" Through the tears, you start laughing. Benny thought surely you'd gotten concussed. 'you thought your loving partner was a porg?' You sniffle, but smile. He kisses the side of your face. 'cutest porg ive ever seen in my life.' He holds you close for a min before adding. 'I'd never, hurt you on purpose.' To which you repeatedly tell him you know. Your sweet Benny boo was nothing like him.
#triple frontier#ben miller#benny miller#santiago garcia#francisco catfish morales#will miller#triple frontier fanfiction#william miller#santiago pope garcia
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Liar Pupper
Yuzu: come on Ciel~ just set me up with your brother~!!!
Ciel: im sorry, but my brother is perfecting himself to take hold our family business. You know how it is. Or maybe you don’t.
Yuzu, getting annoyed: Ciel….. it’s very rude to disrespect your upperclassmen.
Ciel: im sorry, but im in advance classes, you’re beneath those. If you can project yourself as the best, maybe my family could try to associate you to the family name.
Yuzu: you little…..
Ciel, walking to a stairway: you just aren’t worthy for the Dalmetia name. *turns away to go down*
Yuzu: *low snarl and shoves Ciel*
Ciel: ?! *descends from the stair way*
- crash! -
Mob: OH MY SEVENS!!!
Mob 2 and 3: SHE PUSHED CIEL DOWN!!!
Mob 4: *runs to Ciel* kid!!! Are you okay?!
Ciel: ……
Mob 4: Ci-
Ciel: *sniffles*
Everyone: ?!
Yuzu: (wait…..)
Ciel: *starts bawling* o-ow!!! Owwww!!!! It hurts so much!!! My leg!!! I think it’s broken!!!!
Yuzu: ?!
Mob 4: *carries Ciel* oh poor little guy…..
Mob 5: *been live streaming* oh my sevens….. DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT?!
Yuzu: *quickly turns to the mob*
Mob 5: this arrogant bitch just pushed a sweet 14 year old down!!! God, there is worse people here!!! And this one is wearing the crown!
Yuzu: no way….. (my image!!!)
Mob 4: *takes Ciel away*
Ciel: *looks at Yuzu and lets out a evil face*
Yuzu: (oh no….. I’ve been played!)
Ciel: (checkmate bitch…. It’s easy to play as an injured pawn)
@adrianasunderworld @mangacupcake @writing-heiress @the-weirdos-mind @skboba-stars @nproduction626 @rose-tea-and-strawberries @anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @achy-boo @abyssthing198 @zexal-club @liviavanrouge
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland oc#marron ocs#twst#twst oc#Ciel Dalmetia#Yuzu Sakamaki#bitch been played up
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Showing Miles Quaritch the Vitraya Ramunong
❀ A/n - oh. my. god- IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK LMAO!! Finally got these HCs out only AFTER I got my car back from it being stolen and my college semester is over🤩 but you know what? AWOW is on Disney+ now and I put that shit on so fast and IM READY TO WRITE AGAIN!! I missed my hardass colonel🥰
❀ EXTRA A/n - I know it’s been super long but these HC’s are for @isimpforfictionalppl as they asked for a continuation on the last post! Sorry it took so long boo🫶
❀ Warnings - None really besides my foul language and the amount of fluff in this
❀ WC - 2.6k
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
✿ After nearly a month and a half of being a hostage for Quaritch and his team, the anger of being captured and taken from the people you’d come to love and live with began to dissipate. Don’t get me wrong, it was still there, but the feeling of anger and always fighting back was exhausting, so slowly but surely, you were coming to terms with your predicament.
✿ However when Quaritch told you Jake and his family, your family, fled to the islands, that anger returned, and there was a good week where you didn’t eat, yelled, and threw fits when Quaritch demanded his usual lessons on ‘All things Na'vi.’
✿ That was when Spider would step in and take over lessons for the day, knowing that giving you time and space was the best thing for you now. He knew you were hurt—not just angry; he was too, but you had a long history with Jake and Neytri, and this felt like a bigger betrayal to you.
✿ Quaritch could sense this too; even though it was pissing him off and stupid to him, he could see where you were coming from and tried not to bother you until he deemed it necessary. When the hissy fit of yours hit for seven days, he was over it and knew he needed to get you over it too.
✿ So he took you out—no guards, no other squad members, and surprisingly, no spider. He had offered, but Spider decided against it, instead choosing to stick with the science geeks. He warned you with the usual threats, warning you not to run, attack, or do anything else stupid that would leave him pissed and you in a shittier mood for even longer.
✿ The second you hit the forest line, you ran. You can run so fucking fast that you didn’t bother to wonder if Quaritch was following you. You weren’t running away; you couldn’t. You couldn’t leave Spider, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get away; they would find you, and if they didn’t capture you back up again, they would only follow you to see if you would lead them to the village to use against Jake, even though they couldn’t even find him now.
✿ You ran fast, but Quaritch was faster; it wasn’t long before you heard his thundering footsteps and loud curses, calling out to you to stop now or your punishment will be worse. You didn’t listen; you were only ducking under branches and roots and running through creeks and ponds. Quaritch didn’t realize you weren’t running away until he saw you turn your head and smirk at him. He could see the humor in your eyes from here.
✿ He was so captivated by that look in your eyes that he almost ran into you when he realized you had stopped. You took a deep breath and sat down on your knees, taking a few more breaths before leaning forward and laying your arms out and your face in the grass. He didn’t know what you were doing, but he let you; he watched you and waited.
✿ When you picked him up, he heard a sniffle, his ears twitching at the sound, and he immediately hated it. When you turned to look at him, two stray tears slowly fell from your cheeks. You motioned him forward, guiding him to sit just as you were.
✿ "You want your lesson for today?" Your voice is a bit more hoarse from no use, and when it was used, it was usually just yelling as of late.
✿ "I wouldn’t mind having my favorite teacher for today." He joked—well, you thought it was a joke, but in truth, he was being honest. You corrected him in ways he would remember, usually by smacking him on the side of his head or pulling his tail, but it worked. Lessons with Spider didn’t usually stick with Quaritch; Spider wouldn’t dare hit him like that; rather, he would reply with smart remarks that turned into arguments.
✿ "Take your shoes off." He gave you a weird look before shaking his head.
✿ "No. The kid tried that, no." He shook his head, his lips pinched in disapproval. You rolled your eyes, wiping your cheeks, and gave him a no-nonsense look.
✿ "Do you want your lesson?" His lips frowned into a thin line, staring at you hard before grumbling and turning away to shuck off his shoes. All while he mumbled how ‘stupid’ it all was.
✿ Finally, he stood barefoot on the grass beside where you sat.
✿ "What do you feel?" You asked, looking up at him questioningly. You had your thoughts and opinions on the workings of these new recumbents; they had to have just as much of a connection to Eywa as yours and Jake's hybrid bodies did.
✿ "What do I feel? I don’t feel anything. What, you mean the ground?" He stepped around, looking for something to feel, but still felt nothing other than the soft, dewy grass beneath his feet.
✿ You stood up, grabbing his forearms on top and guiding his hands to hold your forearms as well. He stood watching you quietly before you looked up at him and demanded he close his eyes. He did, not even thinking twice before obeying your order. Something about that bugged him, but he continued to follow it.
✿ "Take a deep breath." He took a weak breath in and out, hoping that would appease her, but the quick kick to his shin let him know it wasn’t, so he took a deep breath in, and the tension in his back and shoulders he was trying to keep to stay alert fell away in one, two, or three breaths. That was when he felt it.
��A buzz underneath his feet, not like a vibration or movement, just the hum of life underneath his feet. He began to step around, thinking, ‘Did you just make me step on a toxic plant?’ He was immediately suspicious of the feeling beneath him that slowly began to course up his legs.
✿ "What do you feel?" you emphasized. That was when he opened his eyes, finding yours staring up at him with emotions that made him fall silent. There was hope in those eyes—not one he had ever seen before during your stay here. Miles had seen your eyes, angry, sad, and even a little happy, but this hope was different than your hope to escape. So he replied.
✿ I don’t feel nothing, nothin’." He felt your fingers push harder on his pulse, but he was smarter than that and, of course, older than that. This body may be young, but he is still the man he once was. That hope of yours was dashed; your eyes narrowed, and you let go of his arms, stepping away from him. He almost missed you, but he too stood back, going to put his shoes back on.
✿ "No, come on." You turned and started walking away without hesitance; he looked back.
✿ "Where are you going?" He leaned down and grabbed his boots, ready to catch up with you when you broke out into a sprint again. He had no choice but to drop the shoes if he really wanted to catch up with you; running barefoot around here was going to have to make him focus more, and he hates to admit it, but you are faster than you look.
✿ So they were gone, and he was trying not to step on anything sharp, poisonous, or anything else above that could render him in any shape or form. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t trust you.
✿ When you finally stopped and waited for him, it made him grind his teeth as he jogged up to your smug smile, barely even breathless while he took a second to gather himself. "Just what the hell is this?" He waved to the bush you stood in front of. A smug smile fell from your face as you rolled your eyes and turned around, facing the bush and pulling down its leaves to reveal a tranquil, illuminated sight.
✿ "Vitraya Ramunong," you said, stepping through the bush that seemed to move around you to let you through, and the bush held open waiting for him to pass as well. As we walked through, I felt it close behind him, closing in on him until he was out on the other side. ‘The Tree of Souls,’ he thought to himself.
✿ He had never seen them before—not in person anyway. It was a sight; he felt his eyes grow wider as he looked on. He never realized how translucent the branches were; he could almost see the works of the tree as they circulated like veins. As he stood in awe of one of the smaller trees, you stood by and watched him.
✿You knew he was lying; he had to be; even Eywa recognized him. ‘Eywa,’ you thought to yourself, questioning this sign and its meaning. When you zoned back into the moment and Quaritch still stood in awe of the tree, you hesitantly reached out and grabbed his hand.
✿ His attention pulled away from the trees, and he looked down at your conjoined hands before meeting your eyes. He even went to pull away his hand, but you held on. "Come." You pulled him deeper into the glowing forest, bringing him to what appeared to be a sapling compared to the other illusive trees. You sat down in front of it, once again bowing and pushing your arms out, except this time you kissed the ground, whispering something in Na'vi tongue, before looking back up at Quaritch.
✿ "I want to show you something." You grabbed your queue, bringing it over your shoulder, and opened it up before him. He had looked at himself a lot when he first woke up, but nonetheless, the sight of a queue unfolding was still incredible, and when you held out your hand, he was weary of your future intentions.
✿ "Now hold up, sweetheart. I like you and all, but I know how this goes, so I appreciate the offer and all-" Your offered hand moved quickly and slapped his shoulder hard, leaving a reverberating sting, and before he could react, you slapped him again in the same spot. "What the hell was that for?" Grabbing your hand in case you intended to strike again
✿ "That is not what I meant! I want to show you a memory!" You held out your hand again, and he stared at it for a few seconds before gilding his hand down his queue. He hesitated before setting it in her hand, staring at your palm, but he handed it to you gently.
✿ He watched as you held it, the queue unfolding, before you guided it to a branch and attached it slowly. It wasn’t long before you laid yours down as well, covering the very top of his.
✿ "Take a deep breath." You said that, and Miles complied, taking a deep breath, but when he opened his eyes again, he almost freaked out.
✿ A different environment surrounded him; the soul trees that once surrounded him were gone, replaced with a meadow with tall flowers and giant leafy plants that hung over his head. He looked around, searching for you, and found you behind him.
✿ "Where are we? What happened?" He walked towards you, but you only held your finger up to your lips and hushed him, turning around and walking a few steps forward.
✿ "Mom?" A young voice called out, searching through the plants before stumbling out and finding you. A little boy, his face lighting up at the sight of you, bolted towards a giant smiling and pulling at his lips.
✿ "Mom!" He jumped, and you grabbed him, swinging around and throwing him up in the air a bit before catching him and putting him down. "What are you doing, my little spider?" You spoke, leaning down to look at his hands, which held different assorted flowers in them.
✿ "I think I have all the flowers I want." He held them up to show you, explaining why he had chosen them. Miles watched, numb with shock and almost not believing the sight in front of him. ‘This is a memory," he whispered to himself, looking on and observing the interaction between you two.
✿ You stood and grabbed his hand; he led you forward, and Miles followed shortly behind the both of you. He realized now that Spider couldn’t see him; after all, it was a memory, your memory. He wondered what other memories you could show him.
✿ Spider stopped in front of a tall and rigid tree, where a big rock with moss growing all over it stood, a single pink flower growing at the very top edge. He crouched down and set the small bouquet he had gathered on the rock.
✿ "Is it okay to miss her? Even though I never met her, mom?" You smiled softly, reaching your hands out and fussing with his locks, laying them nicely and pushing down flyaways. "Of course it’s okay; she is who made you, carried you, and brought you into this world lovingly. Never forget her, my little spider; without her, you would cease to exist." You rubbed his cheek softly, patting it softly before pulling away.
✿ Spider looked at the rock and sat in silence for a second before turning back to you. "What about my dad?" You looked at his small face, turmoil turning in his eyes, searching for the answers he hoped you would have. You took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, watching birds fly to other trees and creatures swing from their branches, thinking of the words to say.
✿ You didn’t know the relationship Quaritch had with his newborn son before he died, but what you did know is that Petra would talk about his visits with him, and while he sounded distant, he nonetheless cared for the boy. "Without him, you also wouldn’t exist, my little bug; he may have done some wrong, some things even I don’t know about, but he loved you, and that deserves remembrance." Spider nodded his head and turned back to the rock. He took a few steps toward it before pulling something from his belt. He revealed an old tooth, specifically a front one from a Thanator.
✿ "Where did you get that little bug?" You asked, watching as he set the tooth on top of the rock. He sat there and looked at it for a bit before answering.
✿ "I found it while playing with Kiri; she fell and hurt herself, and when I helped her up, I saw it. I thought maybe..." Spider didn’t continue, but you knew what he meant. He wanted somewhere to pay his respects not just to his mother but to his father as well. Spider didn’t know the full story as he was still young; however, he did know enough to think that his father was the best of men in the eyes of Na’vi, and with your approval, he felt better about missing the absent figure in his life.
✿ Spider looked a little longer before slowly turning around and walking back to you. He sat down and rested against your chest as you wrapped your arms around him, holding him and rocking him slowly, humming an old song from when you were younger back on earth.
✿ "Oél ngáti kámeie, Mom." You leaned down and gave Spider a soft peck on the forehead before replying,
✿ "Oél ngáti kámeie, my little spider." Things around Quaritch slowly started to shimmer and disappear in a white light before the light completely engulfed Quaritch and caused his vision to become blank.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
❀ A/n - I hoped you guys all enjoyed this little comeback, please remeber to like or comment or even request your own scenario. Thank you for reading! 🫶
#xreader#afandommultiverse#fluff#x reader#angst#avatar headcanons#avatar quaritch#avatar#avatar way of water#colonel quaritch x reader#colonel quaritch x reader fluff#atwow quaritch#quaritch fluff#awow headcanons#request#oneshot#avatar 2#colonel quaritch#headcanon#avatar the way of water
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AT LEAST WE HAVE BONDS???
@minty-bubblegum caught in 4k
#dusky ♡#Okay time to finally count up all my girlies#Uhhh#First idk what Kai is he's uhh#Booboo bear ig#Husband or something#Wifey boo from school#Miso the Rizzler#That's 3 so far#Moon doesn't count#PtoBie is 4#Hmm#Ur 5#Uj UHH#Oh yeah leechy is my princess my love my life my light uhh#IM GETTING DISTRACTED#That makes uhh#6#I can't think of anyone else rn 💔💔#Explodes#AT LEAYS IM NOT HOEING OUT OKAY I FOEM EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS 💔💔💔💔#Sniffle sniffle cry cru
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Boo!! I LOVE SEEING YOU ON THE DASH SO MUCH! You're one of the nicest people I've met on here and I'm very glad I did! You're so darn great and I really really love seeing the way your muses are characterized (shoutout to Ophelia the tragic silly) Love seeing the creativity on the dash, be it from your writing to your art! It's lovely! Excellent blog, putting a sticker on your forehead.
What's my reputation? What do you think when you see my URL?
👽// MOOOOCHAAAA MY FRIEND MOCHAAAAAAA !!!!! sobbing and crying and sniffling and whimpering in a puddle of my tears…………thank you so much dude aaauuughhwnngghhhsniff…………i am donning this sticker on my forehead with pride.
I’m not gonna lie!!! I’m so surprised at how loved and appreciated Ophelia has become on this blog. Maybe it was from my own self-inflicted fears from having far too many bad takes thrown in my face, but I was fully prepared for her to be an … acquired taste.
Imagine my surprise that she seems to be a lil’ more popular than Doc 👀 (i love doc but the recent revelation really, really warms my heart beyond belief).
But anyway— uno reverse right back at you !!!!!! you were one of the very first blogs i followed who gave me a huge chance and im so happy you did 💕 as soon as I found Lambda I fell IN LOVE. He checks off so many boxes that tickle my brain, between his aesthetics, backstory, the depth of his characterization + personality, and all your monster + motor city lore (delicious!!scrumptious!!!im devouring it all!!).
Plus, YOU are one of the nicest and most chill people i’ve ever met on here too— putting a sticker right back on your forehead too……………its glittery <33
#mechahero#//heart is so full…………it’s burning……..that might be heartburn from the morning redbull#ᯓ👽˖° asks#ᯓ👽˖° ooc
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Originally I was going to repost my stories in the order I wrote them, but Al/hai/th/am has been in my head again, so I had to go ahead and repost this drabble I wrote on October 7th!
After the newest Archon Quest with more Al/hai/th/am, I am pleased to say I am now making my very first Al/hai/th/am drabble (or perhaps it's a short fic, your choice)! Inspired both by my own hc's and some from Gen/shin snzcord. Please do enjoy!
Dusty Reading
(Gen/shin Im/pact, allergic Al/hai/th/am)
Visiting the Akademiya library, while enthralling, was always a painful chore for Alhaitham. Don't get him wrong, the books there were quite fascinating, but there was one big problem: Dust.
Alhaitham had quite the habit of literally burying his nose into a book he was intrigued in. Therefore a book with dusty pages was never fun for his nose. Usually, he'd tend to avoid these books entirely, to avoid his nose causing a spectacle. But today, he was too drawn in by the title that he did not even notice the thick layer of dust caking the paper like icing...that is, until it was too late.
When he first took the book off the shelf, Alhaitham felt a tinge of a tickle in his nose. Though it was nothing he couldn't handle. After all, having a fairly sensitive nose made him have quite the experience with this sensation. He sniffled softly and scrubbed his nose gently with his fist. Then, he strutted over to the nearest chair, held the book a foot from his face, propped it open, and settled it in one hand.
As the tall man began to read, he noticed the tickling in his nose proceeded to grow stronger. He sniffled again, then clenched his teeth, narrowed his eyes, scrunched his nose, and brought the book up to eye level, seeming extra enthralled in its contents. However, truthfully this tickle was starting to become distracting as it feathered through his sinuses. While he was indeed focusing extra intently on the words, he also was using this book to hide his face as it contorted with the urge to sneeze.
Only when his nose visibly twitched behind the pages of the book did Alhaitham desperately bring his other hand up. He gasped and quickly pinched his nose. The first sneeze was entirely silent, but swiftly followed by a stronger one. "Huuuhh...HNKT'ktt–uhh!" He bit that sneeze back, but it was already enough to turn some heads in the otherwise-quiet library. The involuntary exhale following that sneeze also forced a cloud of dust into the air, threatening to further plague Alhaitham's poor nose.
His turquoise and orange eyes were already filled with allergic tears, and his nose was burning intensely. As he bit back another fully quiet sneeze, he gently sat the book down, stood up, and swiftly made his way to the restroom, stumbling with sneeze after sneeze into his pinched fingers along the way.
"Hnkt'KNXTuhh!" Alhaitham scrambled to lock the door. Each sneeze proceeded to make his nose even more ticklish, and he knew his usual stifling would only make the inevitable fit last even longer. "Hih'hh...hng'GKT–uhh...Hiiihhh!" With the door locked, Alhaitham removed his hand from his nose and raised his elbow in anticipation, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth agape.
"Huuhh...HEEG'GISschuhh!" The powerful sneeze snapped Alhaitham forward into his elbow. His shoulders shook from the force, and his abs clenched tightly. But he was far from finished, as his breath began to hitch again. "Hiiih!...He'YISS'shhyuuh! H'hh! Huh'GIsshyuh! ISSK'chuh! Hiiihh...HEE'sshhyuu, ISS'kschyuh!" He straightened up and tilted his head back, fully succumbing to the mercy of his ticklish nose.
"H'huuhh...hahg'GSSs'chyuh!" The final harsh sneeze echoed along the walls of the restroom and caused him to stumble. "Snrfk! Guhhh..." Alhaitham sniffled wetly and gave a groan of relief when he recognized the tickle had subsided. He grabbed some tissue paper and blew his nose strongly.
Then, he sighed and chose to write himself a mental note: Be extra careful when hiding his face behind a possibly dusty book. While intriguing, he wanted to ensure he would not cause an unwanted spectacle like that again.
#snz#snez#snz fic#al/hai/th/am#gen/shin#gen/shin im/pact#snez fic#snz kink#snzfucker#snzfic#snzblr#al/an writes#al/an works#al/an old works
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“Im considering.”
“Considering what??”
“Hm.”
“Uhh??”
“Hmmmm.”
“what are you considering???”
“…Yeah, imma do it. Come here.”
“????? Why????”
“I decided.”
“ON WHAT???”
“On kissing you.”
this radiates kross, killercream and errorkiller all in the same time and i'm indecisive—
so 4 POLY IT IS!!
[ ship : tattered connections / errorkillercream ] (that's my own ship name fbfjjabd)
Cross looked at Killer for a decent amount of time before he blurted, " idiot. " towards him. Killer could only chuckle.
Error and Dream followed along, deepening his blush tone more. " what?!? " he jokingly scolded the three of them, joining the laughs too. " cmonnn, gimme a smooch smooch, Crossy-Boo!! " Killer whines, reaching his arms out and making kissing faces while leaning towards Cross.
" noo!! you don't deserve it yet!! " Cross pathetically struggled to keep him away from the smooching bastard. Of course, the other two could only watch as their two partners fight with no real heat.
" huh? not yet? " Killer stopped and looked at him a sad face, pouting. Cross turned away, trying to avoid the puppy dog eyes, despite him not having eyelights. " ouhh, someone made him cry..! " Error teased him, Dream placing his hands on his mouth with a shocked face.
Internally, Cross panicked and to not embarrass himself more, he gave in and left a peck on Killer's face. " There. You happy now? " he huffed, his face a gentle lavender blow. Killer stopped fake sobbing and smirked, " heh, gotcha. " Cross grumbled under his breath.
" Heyy, where's our smooches?? " Dream asked, fiddling with his fingers. Error's hands reached out for Dream's to hold on and then he gave it a kiss. " that's one from me. "
Cross giggles, Killer sniffled a snort. Dream pouted childishly.
" Don't worry, sunbreeze. You'll get one. "
#quite a rare find eh? :D#✨ written paper'd#mailmail✉️#error x killer x dream x cross#error sans#dream sans#cross sans#killer sans
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