#so im going to be annoying about it to my like 5 real followers
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This is set in an AU called Cyberpunk Thieves, which entails sci-fi and a healthy dose of space western
(blurb has body horror!)
-(A/N: If you haaatteeee cringey backstories this is your time to gtfo! ^_^)
-Was human, now dinosaur
-She was given to a research facility housed on a mothership in outer space when she was younger, the parents being handed a flat fee as opposed to a long term contract.
-The scientists decided to experiment on large swaths of different species, and eventually altered the genetics of Sparrow so much that she has dinosaur DNA. In more specifics, a part of the Dromaeosauridae family.
-Her pinkie fingers were surgically removed and grown into the now winglets on her head, which can move and fold.
-Her last 2 toes on either foot were removed and presumably given to another patient.
-Her wings also were received from another project, in an effort to study the effects.
-She’s not brought to the brink of death or anything like they don’t exactly have a ton of subjects. But they do vivisect her or whatever to see what's going on. That and like MRI and other tests duh -If she has any scars they’re hidden under the protofeathers so shawty is spotless 🪶
-Sparrow does not fight against scientists, as they are nice to her, but she goes unresponsive or pliant when in a medical setting due to her past. This can be jarring and vulnerable, so Sparrow avoids scientific labs, surgery rooms, and doctor's offices. 🤪😐
-Avian drugs have little effect on her, but human drugs work normally. Other variations could just make her sick or have no effect ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 🫠
-The relationship to value in the science she underwent is unknown to Sparrow, but she was treated well. Still, glass boxes and a limited environment led to her eventually running away.👟
-They did little behavior tests also <3 and she ran after weird animals and they recorded that. Enrichment.
-One time they forgot to feed her (since the computer had like an error or something) and she ate the animal 😳 and the scientists had no idea what to do and they let her eat it 😆
-Now a fugitive, she hides from the researching body that wants their property back. She has a reward out for her, and takes up bounty hunting as a way to earn credits.
-While running, she stumbles into Apollo and teams up for both of them, who are now outcast.
-Sparrow hides her face behind the helmet as soon as she can, and chooses a model that is humanoid, to remind herself she is human. She also insists she is human, though most ignore this.
-Sparrow chirps and clicks like most avians, though will not express this trait often. Her wings allow gliding on Earth-like planets, but can allow more or less on other planets in terms of flight.
-Of all the changes she had undergone, her eyes have not changed.
-The dark is comforting because the lab room was usually kept bright or dim🌚; also was rather homely with books, a desk, and probably other small utensils. 🍴
(I hope this brief rundown is good! If you have anymore questions don't hesitate to ask)
#my art#oc art#cyberpunk thieves au#sparrow#sci fi au#speculative biology#space western#dinosaur oc#ig#anyway ill be posting mostly concepts for this#but not too much#cause im busy#but i love this au#so im going to be annoying about it to my like 5 real followers#mwah this ones 4 yall#every1 else is a fake fan!!!1! jk lol#artfight
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#just watched s 2 ep 7 of the vampire show#and these are just some ramblings that hopefully will not offend fans of the show im just trying to articulate my thoughts to myself#i think it was a cool idea to turn their trial into one of the theatrical performances onstage#however im still annoyed at how the domestic violence episode happened and was apparently a real thing#like idk it just ruins the whole vibe in the book of how these characters were living together doing awful things to humans yet#somehow mostly carrying on in civilized peace and not ever directing that violence toward each other for decades on end#this choice messes up the characterizations and relationship dynamics too much for me somehow#also messes up the aesthetics that are a delicate balance between the savage and grotesque and polite and refined#it was important to me that lestat wasnt the one to first cross that line in the books and that claudia was#i feel like kinda the one thing that lestat had going for him in the first book as a standalone story#was that he didnt ever cross certain lines with louis and claudia that the show made him cross there?#he seemed to have a different inner set of rules when it came to what violence he would do to humans and what he would do to them#it's hard to even articulate what kind of shittiness is a dealbreaker in a character or a ship to me#especially when theyre constantly doing stuff like feeding on people to stay alive#but for some reason lestat and louis beating the shit out of each other is just such a nonsense ooc thing to make them do in my opinion#also claudia in the book was valid for what she did to lestat already i thought. i dont see why they had to change or add to the motives#she was turned into a vampire at age 5 and therefore almost purely a vampire in nature and also totally valid in not being happy about it#and in the books lestat made her a vampire on his own after louis fed on her and they did not discuss it beforehand#and he never mentioned rules about a child vampire being forbidden and louis did not beg him to do it. in fact one of the biggest reasons#that louis and claudia decide to turn on lestat is because theyre convinced hes just pretending to know more than he does about vampirism#and either has nothing to teach them or wont ever let them go so they can find out anything for real about their own kind#these changes in the show bother me too but i think im not that good at articulating why#i also feel like as much as book louis's weakness and passiveness and guilt can get frustrating and isn't always interesting to follow#in a way that's kinda one of his more saving graces and most defining traits as a vampire as well - so i dont always know how to feel#about them making his character more powerful and aggressive and involved in things in the show at times?#on one hand i often get frustrated at his moping and indecisiveness and inactivity in the books#and yet on the other hand i find i miss his quieter softer excruciatingly polite book personality when i am watching the show at times too#p#vmpcs
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can you imagine if like. object show characters were active on tumblr . i mean fans on here but his account is dead so. i mean itd be fun
#rocket talk #roc save #Fan come Back we miss you
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💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
OH MY GOD NEW TPOT EPIWODHWND IM GONNA GO INSANE ONE!!! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS ONE!!!!!!
1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow
:)
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
HELLO??
#oh my god HI . THIS IS LIKE IF A CELEBRITY CAME UP TO ME IN PUBLIC. #ARE THE OTHER ALGEBRALIENS ON TUMBLR??? #/WHAT/
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🧪 test-tubular Follow
My best friend is pacing around my lab. I think a new episode's come out on one of his shows...
#I love him (/p) but he's going to become an unskippable cutscene very quickly
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⛔ nowaynuhuh Follow
i love shrimpy but it feels like he rlly doesnt ... get what i mean you know 😔 at least hes trying to cheer me up? i just wish i had someone to really talk to when it comes to these weird things i keep seeing
💼 emotional-baggage Follow
hey, i completely understand how you feel! im going to be busy the next few days with a finale, but ive sent you a dm if you need someone to talk to ^-^
⛔ nowaynuhuh Follow
thanks, ill take you up on that later!
⛔ nowayhuhuh Follow
...suitcase?
#i dont think shes been online since that last post #i hope shes alright...
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💰 goforthegold Follow
Reblogging this every time I miss my co-hosts!
💰 goforthegold Follow
:(
💰 goforthegold Follow
:(
💰 goforthegold Follow
:(
💰 goforthegold Follow
:(
🎮 iamnotmrkrabs Follow
Are you Okay
💰 goforthegold Follow
Take a wild guess.
(512 notes)
🥈 5centwonder Follow
why do people keep messaging me about hotel things?? i barely even go in two's hotel!
🥈 5centwonder Follow
yowie, you all need a hug :(!!
#especially you baseball guy!!! #im giving everyone in the comments a nice warm soft cookie
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🆚️ wordswithfriends Follow
Reblog if you think Flower winning BFB was a good choice, you like cheesecake, you hate Steve Cobs, you think Platinum is annoying, you're a fan of Dr. Fizz, you watch Jasonville TV, you think Glowstick's elimination was deserved, or you're gay
#they'll never know which one #i'm gay
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🔌 electricalmusical Follow
WHY IS THERE INTERNET IN RJE AFTERLIFE HELLO
👑 kingofeverything Follow
OMG NO WAY
🎡 not-tally-hall Follow
GET OFF OF TUMBLR.
🔌 electricalmusical Follow
YOU HAVE??? A TUMBRL???????
🎡 not-tally-hall Follow
...no.
👑 kingofeverything Follow
reblog if u dont have a tumblr
🎡 not-tally-hall Follow
This is stupid.
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🍿 stevecobseviltwin Follow
imagine needing to be Consistent to be popular
🖍 magic-crayons Follow
You know it girl!!!
🍿 stevecobseviltwin Follow
AYYYEEEE
#idk who u are but we should hang out Now
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🟢 greenyguy Follow
🅱️alls
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🎒 liam-plecak Follow
Oh my god I finally got this thing to connect to the internet. Okay.
Hello, Tumblr, my name is Liam Plecak. I'm sorry for the tag spam, but this is an urgent enough matter that I think warrants it.
For the past year and a half, I've been trapped in another universe with little-to-no communication to anyone else. I've been reading a few posts here and there, and I think some of you might be able to help with freeing me and my friends (I think some of you have powers?). Below is an in-depth description of where I am, what happened, and who did this to me. Please, if you can help, send me an ask.
Keep reading
💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow
oh my god? liam from hfjone is fucking real????
🎒 liam-plecak Follow
I'm sorry what
#unreality#fake dashboard#inanimate insanity#osc#object shows#object show community#bfdi#itft#ppt2 osc#ppt2#malueslots#showvember#greenyguy#hfjone#brawl of the objects#paper puppets take 2#onehfj
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So these last few days has been.. Turbulent. DIFFERENT
I think I may be a System? Infact I KNOW I am a system at this point, but Im also not ready to accept that. Well a part of me isnt, and the other parts of me are like… uh duh of course you are.
*A system in this context refers to the collective consciousness under the DID / OSDD Umbrella, I dont know the correct terminology in all of this, so im so sorry If i I mess up. I don’t necessarily want to give myself a label, there's .. brain scans and stuff I can get to prove it. And I need those, thats the only way I know this is real. But for now, for my own mental health I am treating it as if it were.. “real “ And I dont really know… what to expect…? I want to find something, ANYTHING, on I guess.. Systems waking up? But I cant find it. So I’ll just do this here Im gonna dump out all our thoughts onto some comic pages and we will figure it out. I had a bit of an awakening roughly.. 5 days ago, and for the sake of convenience gonna use Plural/System terminology - There are alters, I have met them, the have names and personalities and some of them are really fuckin annoying i just want to punch him in his TEETH
Anyways, since the alter awakening moment, my brain has been in TURMOIL parts of me accept this, parts of me dont, i keep feeling like my face is like shifted 2 inches to the right and everything gets fuzzy in the real world. Not that these alters have names like.. Files are getting sorted into these proper figures and everything is getting explained and figured out. And its making me feel like I'm not me anymore?
Like I always would argue and barter and fight with my own thoughts, but that's the thing, they wer thoughts, voices in my head with just like, distinct personalities. I just saw it as a different part of me?? Figured that was normal.
But now they are.. stronger ? OR maybe because i'm more aware of them and the personalities I can tell whos out now and like.. Obviously they are happy to get some facetime with the world properly?? But like.. Am *I* just aware of it, aware of them now, aware that it is not just *I* but *We* and so noticing it more, I'm resisting even harder? We feel more fractured than ever.
I have a good friend helping me out, another system, I owe them everything, maybe my life. (PLEASE FOLLOW @transpanda-1 BTW THEY DESERVE IT) They had a few amazing tips, but I cant keep bugging them about every anxiety on my mind thats not fair, so I’ll ask the whole community.
I guess what I want to know is.. Like is this normal? Do all systems go through this? What should I expect in the future and how do I make this more streamlined and stop.. Fighting it? I guess?
I thought I finally had myself figured out, just be the girl who makes the funny relatable trans comics… it was simple.
#did/osdd#osdd system#did osdd#did system#did community#osddid#alters#PLEASE HELP#webcomic#comics#original comic#comic art#web comic#Welldrawnfishcomic
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Kinktober 23/10/2024 Alexander Albon - Bondage
Plot: Alex never showed his kinky side to you, but after finding some handcuffs you can’t help but question it.
Warnings: Kinktober, SMUT, bondage, tied up, fingering, blowjob, p in v etc 18+ Minors DNI
You and Alex had been dating for ages. You were 19 and he was 23 when you started dating. Now 5 years later and you were stronger than ever. You were freelance travel journalist and YouTuber and so travelling around the F1 calendar with your boyfriend and seeing all these cool new places was perfect for you relationship. There wasn’t a moment you and Alex were apart.
One aspect of your life you really enjoyed with Alex apart from all the travel was your sex life. It was very active and he was also so tentative and knew exactly what you wanted and when you wanted it. However sometimes you felt like he was holding something back.
You never questioned it until today when you found a pair of fluffy handcuffs in a shoe box under the bed. You’d never seen your sweet and goofy boyfriend have anything remotely naughty apart from the basics like condoms and those aren’t naughty that’s just being safe, but to see this was … interesting and you couldn’t help but wonder why he never told you.
“Hey babe” you grin as he comes in planting a kiss on the side of his cheek which he swivels so your lips end up on his making you grin more into the kiss.
“How was your day my gorgeous goblin?” He teases, it was a running joke that whenever you had a home day you became some sort of goblin, golem dupe where you’d just sort of rot.
“Mmmmm she’s very good, very chilled day. How is my handsome F1 driving, handcuff using, Williams racer boyfriend” you say as nonchalantly as possible, trying to stop yourself from laughing.
“Yeah he’s- wait, what did you say?” He freezes his brain catching up with the whole question.
“I asked how your day was?” You say cocking your head to the side, you deserved a Grammy for the confused look you were so naturally pulling right now with the laugher at bay.
“No no no you said handcuff using? How- how’d you know about that?” He asks his eyes wide.
“I may have found a pair under the bed. Why didn’t you tell me!!” You whine pushing his shoulder lightly in a jokingly annoyed way.
“Because we were fine the way we were … and it’s not like you’ve ever prompted about trying anything new!” He says throwing his hands up.
“I’m just a girl! Okay! Im shy” you say back and he looks at your with wide eyes, not in shock but in exasperation of how on Earth you turned this into a funny situation.
“Okay fine, test time now. Go on upstairs if you think your so funny missy” he tell you his finger pointing up to the bedroom. You head cocks to the side as if to test him to see if he really meant it.
“I’m not fucking about, upstairs … now” he says his voice gruffer than you ever heard it. You run up the stairs with a squeal him following closely behind you but not fast enough that he looked desperate.
Even thought it’s you … so he really was. All he could think about was sinking into you warm pussy.
You gently get on the bed, patting the shoe box that had his handcuffs in it. And he just chuckles.
“Surprised you didn’t dig deeper baby” he laughs going to the wardrobe and pulling a bigger box down from there that was well out of you reach and once he opened it you could tell why.
It look like 50 shades had threw up inside the box. There was so rope, gags, blindfolds more colourful handcuffs and other bondage devices you don’t think you’ve ever seen before.
It was a shock. You though the cheeky pair of handcuffs may have even been a sexy Halloween costume he’d done one year but no… this was the real Alex Albon.
And he was kinky as fuck.
This must have come around is his RedBull days surely…
He takes out and item which happened to be a blindfold and looks at you for permission to put it on. You nod, trusting Alex completely and he slips it on. He gently pushes you back so your head gently falls into the plush duck feather pillow on the bed that are now underneath your head.
Alex hands run up your legs. Pulling your skirt up a little while taking your underwear straight off. His fingers circle you clit before diving in thrusting in and out at a slow base. You could feel his knuckles graze against your walls sending jolts of pleasure down your spine.
Your hips thrust up to meet his fingers and get them as deep as possible. Your mouth open from the breathy gasps your leaving in your wake.
His fingers soon speed up and his other hand comes down to add extra stimulation by circling your clit with his thumb.
“Argh Alex. You moan, your hands reaching forward for him, but in an instant something clamps them down so they’re together in front of you.
He’d put the handcuffs on. You thought he may try handcuff you to the bed but handcuffing your wrists together while still in reach of his own was just bizarre.
As he speeds up his thumb on your clit adding a pressure that has a loud guttural moan come from you, you’re releasing all over his hands.
“Get up and Turn around baby, your gonna suck my cock with your hands tied okay?” He feels you and you nod. He sits down on the bed, helping you turn round and lean into him while kneeling on the floor. He doesn’t pull the blindfold off, he just lets you feel around with your mouth until you lick what you know is the tip of his cock as you can taste the pre-cum that’s leaking out.
He helps you out, holding your shoulder while your head moves in a sucking motion your cheeks hollow. He cant see your eyes but he knows with how deep your taking him that there will be tears building up in them.
He is quicker to release having been worked up since the minute the thought of you in his handcuffs became a possible scenario.
It was in his head, all while thinking off you wrapped in all his sexy and kinky toys.
His load is quick to shoot down the back of your throat, you struggling to swallow what he gave you due to the amount that has come out of him.
“Argh babe” he moans out as he thrusts his last dribbles into your mouth before pulling out. He removes the blindfold smiling at your bloodshot eyes and puffy red lips.
He helps you up onto the bed. Placing you back to the position you’d originally been in before he’s pulling out the soft sex rope and tying it around your wrists before it’s hauled onto the bedframe tightly holding you in place your arms stuck up in the air.
The cold air hits your exposed pussy making you shut you legs on instinct but Alex thigh comes down ti nudge them back open while he tightens the ropes around your arms.
It was so hot and sexy and you couldn’t believe there was this side to your boyfriend but there was and you were more than happy to experiment more with his after this now that you guys had got it all out on the open.
“I’d normally put the blindfold back on but I wanna see your face when you’re so fucked out you can’t even say my name” he says with a small smirk, one you’d never seen on your Alex before. This hunky guy above you wasn’t Alex Albon, this was Alexander Albon sex god and you were down bad.
“Alex” you gasp at the crudeness even though you were loving this side of him.
He pushed in hard and fast giving you no time to adjust before he’s slamming in and out with you. Your arms are already aching from being held up in the position that they are, but it’s a kind of ache that you enjoy. Makes you feel good and worn out.
His hands are all over your body that you can’t even think all you can do it feel, feel how amazing your boyfriend is making you feel right now.
You guys hold this incredibly intimate eye contact that makes you squirm and grip the rope that is slowly rubbing against your skin.
Marks for sure will be left on your wrist when they are taken off.
“A-Al-lex-x fuck I- I-” you moan looking up at him. He was insane and you needed to tell hime that but you didn’t have the words to tell him how much you loved him.
“I know baby, see told you you’d be fucked out” he grins kissing along your jaw as you continue to moan at the feeling of his quick thrusts making his fuck graze against your walls in a rapid fashion.
Fucked out, that you were.
And you loved it.
Taglist:
@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1#formula one#formula one fanfiction#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#alex albon x you#kinktober f1#kinktober 2024#alex albon fic#alexander albon x reader#alex albon smut#alex albon fanfic#alex albon x reader#alex albon fluff#alex albon imagine#alexander albon#alex albon#aa23 fanfic#aa23 fic#aa23 x reader#aa23#aa23 smut
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dancing with your ghost
levi x reader
hi! okay so this isn’t my first work but it’s my first in over 5 years. i guess aot brought out my old ways (pray for me 🙏🏻) this is just something stuck in my head inspired by the song ‘dancing with your ghost’ by Sasha alex sloan im sorry if this sucks 😔
SFW !!! 🤍🤍🤍
WARNINGS: angsty but happy ending! mentions of death. female reader!
———————————————————————
“Do you promise you’ll come back?”
“I already said yes 5 times.”
“Yeah but-“
“Y/n,calm down.”
I heard his sigh before I felt his hand on my shoulder. A small gesture that felt a lot bigger in the moment. “I promise I’ll try my hardest to come back.” His grey eyes locked on my own wide eyed stare.
“Fine,” I sigh deeply. Bringing my little finger up I feel a small smile creep onto my lips. “Solemnly swear it?” The look on Levi’s face turned into a stoic one. “I’m not pinky promising, what are you 5?”
“This is a deliciously Levi.” I grin twirling my pinky. He rolls his eyes before bringing up his own little finger to wrap around mine.
“I take this very seriously. Don’t you dare do something stupid and wind up dead out there.” My gaze turned serious one last time. The thought of him not coming back sent a shiver down my spine.
“Yeah yeah I heard you the last time.” He looks towards the rest of the scouts and the commander getting on their horses. I follow his gaze feeling uneasy. “I mean it Levi.” “I know.” “Then you better listen.” He flicks my forehead.
“Are you giving me orders?” I heard the amusement in his voice. I roll my eyes “better get going captain, they wouldn’t want their strongest soldier to be late.” I watch him nod before taking a few steps backwards. He holds up his pinky reminding me of our promise and before I know it I’m watching him ride off with the rest of the scouts.
So what? He’s only gonna be gone 2 weeks. It’s an easy mission right?
Right?
-
A month passed. One whole month. The scouts never arrived back. Some say the mission is just taking longer than they expected. Others say the mission probably failed and all scouts are dead somewhere.
Me? I spent the first 3 in a panic state. Everyone knew better then to mention the words ‘failed’ ‘missing ’ or ‘dead’ to me. I wouldn’t listen when they did anyways. I merely brushed it off and other times I yelled and told them off saying something along the lines of ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about!” And “You don’t know Levi,”
I spent the next 3 days staying up all night telling myself he’s alright.
On week two I was sleep deprived with bags under my eyes darker then the night sky I stay staring at until my body shuts down. I wake up after hours that feel like mere seconds. I can barely sleep with the thoughts racing in my mind. It feels like an eternity of worrying and fear. My friends all tried reassuring me and they checked on me enough times for me to get annoyed. Telling me stupid things like I should sleep more.
“Don’t worry okay? We know Levi he’s humanity’s strongest for a reason, and if I know that man he’d let the whole world be a snack for a titan before he gave up on coming back to you.” Hanges words helped. They did really, until I was alone. At night. In my bed staring at the ceiling. I wanted to scream at the world. ‘Heaven only knows where you are now’ I think to myself. Every passing minute the pit in my stomach grew and the pain grew sharper.
I stare at the walls. A new habit I picked up on day 3. I think to myself how my room is dirty and Levi wouldn’t approve or appreciate the lack of cleaning I’ve been doing. He’d probably flick my forehead and call me a ‘messy brat’ before sterilizing it for me and calling me hopeless under his breath.
“You pinky promised you jerk.” I say to the ceiling.
-
2 weeks easily turned into 2 months.
Easily is a weird way to put it considering it was the hardest 2 months of my damn life. I began having dreams. Detailed dreams that felt more real than any current reality. More real than any memory or waking moment. Dreams of him coming back. Embracing me telling me the mission took a turn and it lasted longer then it was supposed to. I wake up to those dreams with the biggest smile on my face every damn time.
Of course the smile turns into to tears and eye bags.
If I thought people were telling me to move on before then boy was i wrong. How do I let it go? Move on and forget him? How do I love again? How am I supposed to trust again?
I think about what I’d say to him if he appeared infront of me more then I’d like to admit. A lot of name calling. I’m planning on slapping him across his beautiful face. His face that I miss more than anything, his face I wish I could hold in my palm and smother in kisses.
But I guess that moment hasn’t come yet and I’m not sure anymore if it will.
People talk…they tell me I should focus on myself and other stupid things like he’s gone.
It was another slow week and I’ve gone too many sleepless nights staring at the same ceiling I can’t seem to look away from.
I heard a creek in the floor. The floorboard I always avoid because the sound is annoying and wakes Levi up at night. I look towards the sound and before I can open my mouth,
“Tch, did you forget how to clean while I was gone?”
My heart missed a beat. And then another.
“Levi?”
“You know anyone else who’d be this revolted by this mess?”
I stood up so quickly I felt dizzy.
“Where-where were you?! What took you so long-you jerk! I’ve been waiting! Everyone told me to move on and that you were dead! I knew it I knew you were-“
“It’s okay,” he stops me with his cold hand on my cheek. Despite the coldness of his finger tips it was the warmest touch I’ve ever felt.
“I’m okay. You’re okay. That’s all that matters I’ll tell you later.”
I nod reluctantly
-
we spent what felt like hours dancing. He spun me around enough times for me to feel dizzy. I couldn’t stop the endless giggles that caused me physical pain in my ribs and the smile that hurt my cheeks. We listened to the same songs on repeat on my record player.
I closed my eyes feeling the music and just letting myself be happy for the first time in ages as he spun me.
I open my eyes and blink a countless amount of times hoping the sight would change. Not this damn ceiling again.
Of course It was a dream, it always was. Dancing with your ghost..
-
I lost track of the time honestly I have. 4 months? 5? You’re a damn liar Levi Ackerman that’s all you are.
Even if you’re really gone I don’t care. I’m still your girl and everyone knows it-hange tried setting me up with someone a few times. I bet you could imagine how that went. ‘I’m taken.’
Stupid boys come up to me in teashops and in the streets with stupid one liners and stupid compliments and I tell them all the same thing. “My boyfriend’s waiting for me.”
It’s more like I’m waiting for my boyfriend..
And my friends talk, they always do.
‘Come on y/n you gotta move on!’
But it hurts to try.
It’s all stupid.
-
8 months pass. That ceiling is my new best friend and I appreciate it more than the real people in my life. The ceiling can’t tell me he’s gone. The ceiling can’t set me up on stupid dates and try and force me to sleep.
My heads always in the clouds and my dreams have gotten worse and end up with a bloody Levi and floods from my eyes.
I speak to myself pretending you can hear. Honestly I’ve started to believe you can. Sometimes I tell you about my shitty day or how I miss you, other times I scream about how you left me and how I hate you, but those times I end up begging for you to just come back already.
I don’t talk to my friends anymore, something about I only care about you and it’s exhausting dealing with me. Who cares I don’t need them,I only need you. Where are you?
-
“The scouts! They’re back!”
That bell. I know that bell.
“No way I thought they were all dead!”
“Is that captain Levi?!”
Whatever was in my hand now long gone in my path I barely felt the wind pushing me backwards as I ran towards the yelling.
And I seen him. The real him after all this time after all those dreams after the stupid remarks from my stupid friends after all the prayers and all the tears.
“Levi!” My voice sounded a lot more shaky than it did in my head.
I seen him on his horse. It don’t matter if he was a little farther back I seen it.
He wiggled his pinky.
———————————————————————-
A/n Pls don’t ask me where the scouts went for 8 months i literally don’t know just pretend and pretend i know how to write while your at it 🥰
Thank you for reading <3
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Obi wan Headcanons my lord? feed the poor
God, I have a lot of them .I'm going to split this up in a few parts just because it makes sense . Strap in !!!
Part 0: baby obi wan
His parents noticed that he was a surprisingly bright child, and since they were farmers from stewjon, they weren’t well off. When they had their second child (a son) they brought obi wan to a near by testing unit on the neighbour planet Klommet , in hopes of giving both him and his brother a better chance at survival.
Obi wan was tested at the age 1 and a half. He was clearly gifted but nothing special.
He used to cry a lot when he first got to the jedi temple. Most jedi got rather annoyed at the younglings crying, except one ,qui gon jin .
Qui gon voluntured a lot at the creshe , he believed that crying children needed confort not a lecture. Obi wan got attached to qui gon rather quickly as a 2 year old ( qui gon looks a bit like his late dad)
As he grew up , he got along well with the other children and formed close friendships with them ( po ,kit ,quinlan) . Seeing this, qui gon went back to helping the new kids.
Part 1 : padawan years
Obi wan is rather talented at most things, not on a “ WOW YOU’RE THE BEST “ way but more like a “…that shouldn’t go so easily “ . He picks things up quickly, which causes him to be rather inpatient. Not impulsive, he doesn’t rush he simply hates waiting. That's why he hates meditating. He doesn’t understand it.
He doesn’t know it but when discussing who would get which apprentice , his name fell quite a few times . Obi wan likes to learn and so many suspect that he would be a nice well behaved padawan.
He was so happy when they informed him that qui gon would be his master . Qui gon had always stood out as the nicest jedi , not that the others weren’t but he had seemed to understand obi wan a bit more.
The first thing qui gon asked of him was to meditate. Obi wan started stressing immediately, and it went pretty bad in the beginning. Qui gon thought it was hilarious how quickly he was distracted. “ the wall paper does not need your attention right now “ he would quip or “ breathe through your nose and dont rush it” . It took obi Wan's a year to truly be able to meditate properly.
Luckily time wasn’t wasted because his fight skills and knowledge were unmatched.
Piloting took some getting used to. Not only was he scared of heights , but he also wasn’t a fan of rollercoasters. Qui gon always noted how slow he was . “ If you keep flying like this, we won't get there before im 60 “ or “ we can always walk , it might be faster” . But his master did help him, he would go to more desserted planets with obi wan . The planets that even if he would fly faster, he couldn’t hit anything . Obi wan got his red piloting bead 5 months later with the promise to let go a little.
He picks up quickly with missions , like i said he’s a natural . His first mission was a bit stressful but after that hes pretty much set . Also when they get back to their ship , qui gon cooks a home cooked meal because hes not going to let obi wan live on war rashens and blue milk.
He also teaches him how to cook
Obi wan starts feeling a bit quilty because he starts thinking of qui gon as his dad since well he is a little. But the jedi code says no attachments and he will follow that . Until he has a nervous breakdown because if qui gon is a jedi master that follows the jedi code he probably doesn’t care about him , he ends up getting in quite a lot of danger on a mission because of this . When he confesses to qui gon why he did all that he doesn’t respond,he just pulls his padawan into a hug . “ you are my kid obi wan “
When he turns 20 , he starts to really push qui gonn to let him take his trials. He just wants to be a jedi master.
That all changes a bit when he meets the dutches of mandelore Satine . He falls inlove quickly but he’s a real coward about it ( Satine notices) . Satine ends up pulling him into a kiss 2 months later at a gala she had to attend. They had a night together……
Qui gonn knows 100% . He finds it hilarious how his bumbling fool of a padawan got himsel into this mess . He prepares for the inevitable “ im leaving the order “ not that he wants him to . Obi wan is just that kinda kid .
When he sees obi wan the next morning, he looks like he cried acts rather somber and asks when they are leaving . Qui gon figures out what happened but doesn’t say anything. They leave and he gives him some space .
For the next 2 years it all goes smoothly until…
Part 2: early Anakin years
Obi wan isn’t too happy with the orphan. They are on a dangerous mission in the middle of who knows where with the queen of a planet that’s about to die . And now they have Ani , he wasn't going to lie it was a sweet child . But why now.
Obi wan has a quiet panic attack when qui gon says he will take anakin as his apprentice . He doesn’t feel ready to take the trials since his self esteem plummeted a bit after the Satine debacle and no one helped him take care of that ( fuck the jedi council) .
During the flight back to Naboo, padme went to her room and qui gon had a call with the council, leaving obi Wan to babysit ani . The child would yap non stop “ Did you make your own lightsaber?” “Yes” “can i hold it?” “No” “ when do i get mine?” “ When you're ready” “ but i am ready” “ no you’re not “ “yes i am “ “ no you’re not “ “ Did you choose THAT color?” “ Yes, i did” “ It's kinda ugly” “…” . A true test of patience but strangly lovable.
About 2 hours later was when the child fell asleep next to obi Wan . Anakin was still shivering , tattooine was a warm planet, something the ship heaters couldn’t compete with. Obi wan draped his long outer coat over the boy in hopes of giving him some warmth . Seeing the child peacefully asleep, Obi wan realised why his master liked him.
It took 48 hours to get to Naboo . It also took 48 hours for Obi wan to look at Anakin as his little brother.
When he first sees Maul he’s scared . He doesn’t want to be, but he simply is . Back in school him and his friends would joke about the sith and how cool it would be to defeat one . Right now , face to face with the first sith in ages , he’s horrified, and the red zebrak seems to kick on it
All he hears are the red force feels buzzing . He doesn’t hear his own scream or the blood dripping from his master . He feels an immense amount of pain, but the moment those shields lay down, he's up . He only focuses on gett to his master in time .And when he’s hanging in the hole , he snaps back into his jedi mind. The sith shows a new hubris, and he sees his chance. He wins
When qui gonn tells him his final wish , he can only lie to him . He doesn’t feel fit to be a master ,he might be the only jedi who pased the old trials ( to kill a sith ), but he feels like a fraud to weak to safe his master. Qui gon passes in his arms and obi wans let the tears fall.
He sees Anakin after he returns from his “trip” and he almost wants to cry again . Anakin looks so confused “ where’s qui gon ?” “ he passed away , anakin” The tears start to well in the little boys eyes, and all that obi can do is pull him into a hug .
The next weeks are quite hard , anakin becomes his padawan, and he becomes a jedi master. They attend qui gons' funeral, and anakins enters the academy since he needs to do both his padawan ship and the basic training. He is a bit pissy about it , but obi Wan cheers him up with home cooked meals .
They are not allowed to go on mission yet together just obi wan alone, and its extremely hard breaking to leave anakin alone .
When they are home together, obi wan pampers the little guy rotten. He brushes and braids anakins hair he buys him miniatuur planes in hopes of getting a better piolet than he is . He helps him with his homework, and he is just a total single dad .
When about a year has passed obi wan realised that he didn't know his birthday so he asked ani and he didn’t know either . They chose marche 5th because its a week from then and obi Wan can plan his birthday.Ani loved it.
Anakin doesn't make a lot of friends in school or anywhere. Which bothers obi Wan greatly , he thinks anakin is a great kid who can do no wrong. It all escalated when a child calls Anakin a slave ( obi wan does not know how they got here )
Obi wan threatens to destroy him to the boys face . He ends up crying, and Anakin isn’t bothered ever again. ( the jedi council was not happy )
And so it pretty much continues for a few years
Part 3: late anakin years
Anakin is now 20 years old, which is double the age he was when obi Wan met him .
Many people think that obi Wan is past his prime, but this man is absolutely ribbed. He has perfect physique, he’s just covered in robes and coats and stuff
He keeps extra kyber crystals around because Anakin keeps losing/breaking his lightsaber
Anakin requested black robes, and the council wouldn’t let him because of the association with the sith, and obi wan was like “ No , let my padawan express himself . Plus, I killed the last sith years ago “ so they let him because nothing is scarier than getting on obi wans' bad side
When they meet padmé again, obi Wan is almost laughing at how bad anakin is hiding his feelings for her . He also realises that he will have to talk to his padawn about it .
Obi wan gets a little stricter over the last year since anakin definitely doesn't think before he does anything
When the council decided to let Anakin go with Padme , he couldn't help but warn anakin once again. He reminds him of the problems that might occur or the heartbreak ( he's definitely not projecting)
When shmi dies, he tries his best to support anakin best he can . He doesn’t remember his parents, but he assumes it's like losing Qui gon, so he does everything he needed back then . Home cooked meals ,hugs ,pep talks, pulling him out of mission….
He noticed from the moment they set foot into the arena that they were together. On the one hand, he was extremely nervous about it, and on the other, he was a bit proud of his boy.
ALSO, he gets that shiver down his spine because he realises that qui gon knew about him and Satine, and he's a bit embarrassed about it .
He doesn't tell it to anakin because just like his master he thinks that it might be better to give them space .
He gets really offended that he wasn't invited to the wedding. He knows it was supposed to be undercover, but please
Padme and anakin will sometimes invite him for dinner as if they aren't dating, and he truly enjoys those evenings together.
He likes padme immensely . She helps to calm anakin down, and she's all around a great person .
She's also the first out of her and anakin to realise that obi Wan knows . Sadly, this happens after the wedding, so now it's like a shared secret.
Now that anakin left the nest , he gets to enjoy hobbies. He starts experimenting with cooking until Kit , Quinlan and Po are so done with it that they start ordering out . Then he gets a pet a feathered veractyle he names boga , when the planet he’s visiting allows it she will be his transport . He also keeps a variety of plants ( they remind him of qui gon) and books .he collects golden trinkets. Anakin jokes that it all goes against the jedi code, but he likes it .
HE ALSO LOVES TO GOSSIP with his clones anakin padme kit po anyone that wants to listen.
Talking about his clones , he loves them dearly not as much as anakin but like coby is one of his closest friends.
212 has tried to give him nicknames before, but it never sticks , they do like saying the negotiator in funny voices .
Obi wan thinks that his clones are the best clones, but it seems that every jedi thinks that.
He is now a jedi council member, and he still has that off feeling that he doesn’t deserve it . His ideas dont link with the others, and he feels that he doesn't have a lot of influence on it . Qui gon was never part of it, and he understands why more and more. He loves being a jedi master but kinda hates the council.
That also makes it really hard for him to help Anakin with his dissatisfaction with his position rn . Being on the council but not a master feels like the worst-case scenario, but he has to help anakin not be pissy, so he does . It is a great honor to be on the council.
He didn't know about padmé being pregnant. So he just thought anakin was so stressed out about his career and the jedi order . After everything happened as it did , he felt that he didn’t support anakin correctly.
Obi wan objected when they wanted anakin to spy on Palpetine . He doesn’t want his boy near any danger and definitely not in the front line . He yells and fights for it until it goes to a vote, just as his seat on the council, obi Wan would leave the council immediately if it meant that Anakin was 100% safe . In the end , the vote goes for the spying and obi wans demands to tell anakin himself. It doesn’t go well, obi Wan feels like he's betraying his brother.
In the coming weeks, he will see the loveable orphan of tatooine change to a traumatized war veteran, and he's not happy about it. He tries to calm him down and speak to him just like he did when shmi died . Sadly, this time, it doesn’t seem to work.
When his clones betray him , he feels fear for the first time since the deul of the faiths . Not only is he in danger, but they are in danger , anakin might be in danger . He feels his life falling from betw his fingers . Boga and some of his dear clones die when he gets back to his ship . He calls to anakin, but he doesn’t pick up . He flies to the temple.
When yoda and him visit the temple, dread fills his mind. He still didn’t receive anything from anakin and was really worried about it . They see the temple lithered with death children, and all he sees are small Anakin's death on the floor . Then they see the footage of the night before, and the world falls beneath him . Anakin is a murderer, a sith, and still his brother . Obi wan chooses to go alone to face him ….
{that one deleted scene }
The deul with anakin is the worst moment of his life. Nothing compares to it . He tries to enter with an open mind and the little voice in the back of his mind telling him to redeem anakin . Sadly hes to far gone. The deul ends with his dying friend near the fire , obi wans whole life in pieces and a almost death padme.
The birth of Luke and leia is a small piece of hope, but padmé passes away . Obi wan has no one anymore.
He's extremely happy with the organas asking to adopt leia, and he himself asks to adopt Luke, but that did not happen because of the circumstances. If the sith starts hunting jedi , Obi wan will be at the top of the list
In the end, he lives near Luke until he grows to be a jedi .
He tries to meditate, but his bond to the force is pretty much broken .
Part 4: obi wan alone
Since moving to Tatooine, he has got some new dreams . He gets flashbacks to his childhood before being a jedi, but the worst once are the anakin once . They all start the same , meeting ani quick flashes through their years together and then Mustafar .
He believes that he killed anakin and that he burnt to death .
He has mixed feelings towards his actions. On the one hand, he as a jedi had to kill him, but as his brother, he is simply broken.
He doesn’t think of himself as a jedi anymore. Over the years, he has come to question the jedi order . For how they treated anakin and ahsoka even padme . He promised to himself that he wouldn’t teach Luke to throw away his emotions.
When darth maul shows up on tattooin, he's in some strange way. Sorry for him . They were both just children raised for war , he wished partly that they could have got Maul out before Naboo or that he wouldn’t hold the anger he had towards him for the death of his father . He took a deep breath and let it go . In the end, Maul died in his arms , the same way he had hoped he would have pulled anakin up after their duel.
He tries to meditate again in hopes of connecting to qui gons' spirit or anakins . He hopes to apologise to anakin to pet his hair and tell him it's alright to get one last evening diner with padmé and Anakin . From qui gon, he just wants comfort a long hug or a smile that shows him he’s proud of his padawan, even a home cooked meal .
He starts working as a butcher for sand whales . In the beginning, he used to walk there, but then lars pointed out that that was really suspicious for the other people in town . So he went shopping for a transport that was nice and easy to maintain . That's how he ends up with his eopie Akkani .
Akkani is a bit of a lazy animal , she just wants to eat and walk and eat again. He's happy he has a pet, tho because he gets a bit lonely.
He keeps all of his jedi things in a chest in his gave , including his own lightsaber and 2 sets of beads . One set is his own padawan braid beads, and the other are anakins . He also has some other stuff such as qui gon' s old kitchen knife and some pictures of his clones scrabs of r2d2 when he needed repairs a feather of boga some model airplanes anakin used to play with and so on. ( NO BURYING IN THE DESSERT I HATE THAT)
He really wants to train Luke, but Lars won’t let him . Which hurts obi Wan a lot . He wouldn’t push Luke to be a soldier like the once before , he would connect him to the force just like qui gon wanted with Anakin .
That's why he started reading up on the ancient scripts about the jedi . He loves the Yawa sellers just because he can buy his books without the empire noticing.
He will wait forever in hopes of setting the universe back to balance for the mistake he made on Mustafar.
This took so long and its not even all of it .( i left out the kenobi series because i didn’t want to rewrite it and i couldn’t figure out how to add to it without rewriting it srry)
Also i wrote a little obi wan reacting to ahsoka being Anakins padawn not that long ago ( link below )
And i left his later relationship with satine and maul out because it might be a bit long . If you want that you can always ask in my requests ( i do have some thoughts about those)
{masterlist}
#this took so long#im fighting demons#writer block#star wars#obi wan kenobi#darth maul#help#writing#headcanon#yippee#qui gon jinn#qui gon and obi wan#anakin skywalker#anakin and obi wan#obi wan x reader#obi wan x you
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Yknow im split again on whether or not i would want the affini to exist
Because honestly, truely, if i could literally just have basically star trek with pretty much infinite ethical food, slay but also if it was just like me and my like 8 neighbors (making 10 total people) i wouldnt mind, like just nature and chilling
Cause lets be honest, if you were sad in any way shape or form, even if its simply "i want to go take a 5 hour walk in a real forest" the affini would probably just be like "oh petal dont be sad" and inject you with (i can never remember the class names but i know what they do so) what is essential dopamine/serotonin, and youre pretty much removed of any individuality which. Suuucks. Especially for someone like myself who pretty much never had an opportunity to fully express myself.
Now dont get me wrong i LOVE identity death BUT i wouldnt wanna be erased, instead id rather just be trapped into a paradise of my own making in my mind. Like. I can look at whats happening to my body, buuutttt for the most part i just get to experience things i wanted to but never had the opportunity to, hell, {in the ben sharpiro talks about banning luigi from ssbu meme voice} lets say, hyypothetically, luigi grabs you- kidding! No lets say this scenario did happen, if the affini in charge of me pretty much told my replacement if any trauma was effecting that paradise to tell them and theyd deal with it, that would be even better bc i think i do have trauma considering every fictional character I've ever made that i would use another character that represented me to talk to, ""my"" ""friends"" (the fictional characters) always resent ""me"" (the character that represents me) in some way always using an annoyed tone
So yknow if i were to just exist as essentially a repressed thing in the back of my mind but i have my own little world i get to interact with back there while physical me is completely otherwise braindead from the affini, then i wouldnt mind, but yeah as it stands, uhh yeah i dont like 24/7 bdsm relationships, i want there to be a seperation between sexual me and normal me, especially since there already is a massive divide in that form, only really noticeable in private vs public and edged vs finished
And otherwise if i was in the hdg world and didnt have that option, you know the moment i was left alone after being captured by an affini and they didnt say that theyd do that, id be dead on the floor, probably crying as i die bc i wouldnt know a very good way to die, bc presumably humanity would have found a cure to diabetes by then, i mean considering it might happen by 2026 uhh i could also just inject myself with a lethal amount of insulin and go peacefully although probably panicked, otherwise, assuming theres no non oxygen, non carbon dioxide gas on the ship, yeah i would probably die a pretty painful yet pretty fast death, crying the whole way there bc fuck if i have to chose to basically watch myself lose myself, death, or trapped in my own mind but i dont know i am i would take option 3... unless thats unavailable, then i would take option 2
Now would they try to keep me alive? Yeah probably but then again you cant really recover a stab to the heart, neck, and lungs, or a hanging, or insulin with about 20 minutes of wait time so yknow
Idfk why im talking about this im depressed as FUCK right now but I'm also being real about if i was in that situation because... yeahhhhh but yeah uhh this is definitely a combo of saying "hey heres my solution!" And "fuck i have horrible thoughts i dont want in my head right now i dont know how to get them out without fucking doing something l Iike fucking finding sone way to cut myself, drink alcohol, or literally have enough fucking energy to get up, which i dont have that energy right now sooo yeah uhh fucking no ones going to read this haha its WAYYYYY too late so like 95% of people who follow me arent online and like , lets be real who the fuck is going to like a post about "oh if i was given the chance to remove all ambitions i had in life to just live in pleasure or do that but its all fake OR kill myself, i would kill myself" like. Thats fucked up. And also now that i think about it its like that comic about the time traveler who goes to the future and is given a choice to continue on her journey or experience eternal pleasure as you hallucinate the things you love and are constantly injected with dopamine and she never leaves and it shows basically everyone doing the same thing sooo uhhh yeah good luck finding THIS post sherlock, i doubt even BATMAN could find this post
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Taehyung and jungkook's relationship is overlooked by 90% of the fandom solely because they are so controlled by the narrative of the fandom/company that they cannot quite accept that anything outside is even a remote possibility. Ive been more of a quiet observer for years now [my sister's an army since 2015] and I've seen the boys, moreover I know how marketing and kpop works. It's quite evident if u observe close enough of the pattern on how this group of seven guys who genuinely love music is marketed you would understand to what extent you're being brainwashed. Im not talking about this like a conspiracy theorist. It's quite simple and right infront of you. Yall refuse to accept it that's all.
1. There are a certain set of stories that are made to be told by them, over and over again. Even if it disturbs them or they are bored. E.g: 2018 disbandment story, vmin dumpling incident, jikook rain fight/tokyo trip, mind you there are many things that happend between people who lived together for 10+ yrs but if it cuts the flow of events you are made to believe happened you aren't gonna hear from it, ever.
2. Like stories there are dynamics that each pair is supposed to portray Taegi as annoying/annoyed duo, taejin/jikook as flirty HS boyfriends, namseok/taekook the awkward old friends and no matter how much the relationships change or evolve you won't see it cuz again, it won't FIT the narrative that has already been shown.
3. Like relationships there are characteristics that thankfully some members chose to break out of during their solo era: hoseok always being sunshine and loud ( he's quite serious and very dedicated infact ), jungkook being that muscle dude who only knows how to follow his Hyungs ( he's very independent and has a lot of targets he wants to achieve individually, he's very thoughtful and organized) and Taehyung being WEIRD and weak ( he's extremely intelligent and super strong he's strategic and disciplined)
4. This brings us to the whole Taekook narrative, the fact that they've been seen so much during solo era yet people had the audacity to still call them distant and awkward solely cuz it wasn't via company but through Taehyung's ig or jungkook mentioning him in interviews etc. I think it's needless to say they aren't comfortable being touchy and showy on camera for content, hell if they were to shoot everytime Taehyung and jungkook hangout there would he enough CONTENT till 2067. They're supportive of eo and have a very big shared friend circle, when jungkook went missing for almost 2 months we got to know Taehyung was the one he was with.
5. The thing is everyone [ including my own sister ] thinks that Taehyung is being desperate or such whenever he mentions Taehyung cuz a. Yall have actually led jokers run so fucking rampant that everytime the man mentions him actually doing something you're ready to throw him under the bus and call him a liar or such. b. Im not saying jungkook isn't close to anyone else but when he isn't working or shooting content and just wants to be himself the one you saw him most was around Taehyung and yes it matters. In the name of hating shippers yall have not only dissed the quite frankly PRIVATE bond they seem to share but went as far as dissing Taehyung himself cuz of the extreme level of manipulation yall are under.
Ik imma find armys [jikookers ]under this sooner or later calling me names but to be honest I'm sick and tired of yall dissing very real people and their very real human relationships solely based off the content yall are made to believe is 100% candid. Go touch grass, get friends, go date, don't obsess over them for a while then come back and try seeing it from a neutral perspective.
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Wish I Loved You In The Nineties
Joel Miller x Reader
Summary : right person, wrong place, wrong time.
A/N : this will be a few parts. I just wanted to write some angst cuz I miss it 😭
This was just a quick intro. Cuz the next few parts will go into more detail about their feelings, the tension, the cute angsty moments, etc., I hope you enjoy!!
Warnings : cursing I guess? Age gap (Joel is in his 50s, reader is 26) virgin. 2.2k words
"Wait, there's a library! I'll be five minutes." You said.
Joel turned on his heels to face you but before he could even say a word, you were off. Annoyance washed over him instantly as he followed you to the library.
"One day im gonna put a damn leash on you." He groaned, walking few paces behind you.
You rolled your eyes, ignoring him completely.
Joel was the only consistent thing in your life lately other than books. He had saved you from raiders a little over a year ago.
And though he fought himself for a short moment on whether or not he should even care to help you, he couldn't just turn his back.
And ever since, you stuck around him. Following him wherever he went. Even when he told you to leave, over and over again.
But that was the thing, you really had no one to go to. All the people you ever cared for had died, and well...you were tired of trying to fend for yourself. Look how well that went.
Now, here you were. Annoying Joel for the hundredth time.
He had grown used to having you around by now. And a part of him began to feel protective of you.
Even when you pissed him off, and pushed every single button of his from all your constant questions of life before it turned to shit.
You were only 5 when it happened. And now, 20 years later...those memories have only faded more and more.
But there was one thing that always shut you up...books.
If you weren't annoying him with all your constant talking, he would find you curled up with a book, pens and high lighters.
You always knew how to lose yourself in a story. And you read anything you could get your hands on. Didn't matter if it were thriller, romance or science fiction, and fantasy.
Anything that took you away from the real world.
"One book. Got it? Ya already got too many."
"You can never have too many books, Joel. Maybe you should grab one for yourself." You said, as you quietly opened the door.
He rolled his eyes.
The library had books all over. Some on the shelves, some tossed on the floor, and tables. There had been moss growing from the trees sticking through the broken windows.
"It's so beautiful." You whispered.
"Don't go too far. You stay where I can see you. Got it?"
"Mhm"
"Repeat it."
You stopped in your steps and turned to meet his gaze. "Go far away where you can't see me."
"Dammit, kid—"
"I'll be right in this aisle, where you can see me. Okay?"
Joel could care less about the sarcasm, but he enjoyed having you around. But he would never admit that to you. Not even to himself.
"Ok, I got my book." You said, walking over to him.
"Just one?"
You shrugged a, soft smile forming on your lips.
"How many?"
"Only four! Look, they had 'An Offer From A Gentleman.' And 'The Time Travelers Wife.'"
"More romance books?" He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Ain't ya tired of the predictability?"
You sighed, shoving the books into your bag. "Sorry for wanting to read books with happy endings sometimes. It's not like I'll ever get that in this lifetime."
Joel swallowed hard as he took in your words. He had the luxury to remember life before the infection. Before life was a blur.
It wasn't as simple as the books, and it sure as hell didn't always end up in happily ever after for everyone. But he did have the chance to fall in love, to feel the butterflies after a first date, and the build up anxiety before a first kiss. Even having gone through break ups...
You never had any of it.
"Come on." He said. Feeling a bit off when he noticed the different tone in your voice. "We should head back to camp before it gets dark."
————
You were quiet most of the walk back. Reading the third book in the Bridgerton series.
Reading Benedict Bridgerton's story had made you swoon. It reminded you of Cinderella, a story your mother used to tell you before she died.
He was whiny at times, sure. But the way he knew what he wanted...which in this case, was Sophie. He didn't care about his rank in society. He wanted her. And when he fought for her, you heart swelled.
"God, what I would give to be loved like this." You stated, closing the book.
"Ya finished it already?"
"It's not like I have anything else to do."
Joel shrugged in agreement. Once you had reached the campsite, he made you both coffee while you got some food prepared that you found on your quick supply run.
"Were you ever in love?" You asked absentmindedly.
Joel furrowed his brows, crossing his arms over his chest. "What'd I say bout personal questions."
"Come on! I've been following you for over a year now. You know almost everything about me!"
"Not my choice."
You looked up at him and glared at him with your tired eyes. "Just give me something. Anything."
He rolled his eyes, glancing at the coffee next to him.
"Please? You don't even have to tell me anything really personal...just..idk—what was your go to pick up line?"
"Out of all the people in the world, I get stuck with you." He groaned. "I ain't doin this with you."
"Fine, then where was your favorite place to take a date to?"
Joel stood there, leaving against the truck. He had already been annoyed, but here you were, annoying him even more with questions he didn't want to think about.
"Please? I'll leave you alone for the rest of the night if you just answer at least one of my questions."
He pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. He knew he should just ignore you, but today...he just couldn't.
"Fine. Didn't do much but take 'em to a drive in and maybe an arcade if she were into it." He said. "Now leave me alone, already."
A smile formed on your lips and you pulled yourself up to your feet.
"So you did go on dates." You teased. "There's a heart in there."
"Shut up."
A little chuckle escaped you as you stood next to him, watching the sun begin to set ahead of you.
"I wish I could've been born earlier. So I could've experienced that at least once in my life."
Joel let out a sigh. "Trust me kid, you ain't missin much."
"Easy for you to say! You got to live it. But all I have are books and my imagination."
"Maybe get ya head out of those damn books and go find someone."
"Where Joel? In the abandoned library? Or what about the open field behind us? Last time I trusted strangers, they tried to kill me."
"You trusted me."
It was true. Joel had been nothing but a stranger to you. But for reasons you weren't sure why, you couldn't help but feel as if you could trust him.
He was such an ass, and at times you wanted to punch him in the face and leave but...you also needed him. You needed him like breathing. He made you feel safe, as if nothing bad could ever happen to you again.
With Joel, you were home.
"You just don't get it." You exhaled, walking back toward your sleeping bag.
Joel knew he should just drop it there, but he hated seeing you this way. It wasn't like you to shut down, and lately...you were doing that a lot.
"I'm just sayin, falling in love ain't all it's cracked up to be like your little books."
"No shit. I know it's not going to be like the books but still...there is some truth to them. But I'll never know...I never even had a first freakin kiss."
You stopped for a moment and turned to look at Joel.
He furrowed his brows for a moment, holding your gaze before the realization dawned on him. He shook his head immediately. "No. Don't even think about it."
"Come on!" You exclaimed, walking back to him. "It's not like I'm asking you to marry me or something!"
Joel shook his head once again and stood firm in his stance. "I said no. Keep me out ya weird fantasies."
"Please Joel? Just one kiss. That's all I'm asking for. Just one so I at least know what it feels like."
He tried to ignore you as he turned his back to you but you continued your pleading. The constant "please" in his ear. It was starting to frustrate him.
"If I do this for you, will you finally shut up?!" His voice was louder than usual.
You only nodded, holding his gaze with yours.
"I'm gonna regret this." He mumbled to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. He thought to himself for just a moment before letting out a groan and stomped over to you without any hesitation. Before you could react, his hands cupped your cheeks, forcing you to tilt your head just before his lips pressed firmly against yours.
In that moment, your heart began to race. His lips were soft and warm, and tasted of his coffee. It didn't take you long to motion back. His tongue danced along yours, forcing chills to cover you completely as his hands traced down to your waist, pulling you in closer.
Joel deepened the kiss, hot and urgent. As if he needed this to survive. He couldn't stop himself, and he didn't want to.
In this moment, it felt like all of the world had disappeared and it was only you and him.
The kiss was intoxicating. And suddenly your body grew hot. Every part of you wanted him. To feel more of him in places no one had ever touched except for you.
Joel was ready to lose himself to you in this moment. He knew it was wrong and he should stop but the longer you were against him, the more he craved you.
The urgency of the kiss was palpable, a relentless hunger that left you breathless.
His hands trailed up and down your body, feeling the thin fabric of your shirt clinging to your torso, wishing to feel your skin against his.
He could feel himself growing harder just by the thought alone. He wanted you. More than anything.
Joel didn't have time to think about what was right or wrong. He just knew in this moment, you were all he cared about.
In an instant, he lifted you off the ground and sat you on the bed of the truck. His lips never leaving yours.
Until you had accidentally knocked over the cup of coffee and the sound of the mug shattering on the ground, stopped you from continuing.
Joel quickly took a step back, wiping his mouth and catching his breath, as you sat there, heart beating fast in your chest. He turned his back to you, trying to collect his thoughts. For a moment, he almost let himself go. He almost caved and gave in to you.
You didn't even know what to think. And for the first time in your life, you had no words.
Things are far too complicated in this world. Joel wasn't someone who let anyone in. He knew giving someone that much power, it would destroy him if anything were to happen.
And he tried so damn hard to keep from feeling anything for you. If you had walked away after saving you that day, he wouldn't have thought twice about you. But now?
You were all he could ever think about. Every morning, he'd flash a soft smile seeing you already awake...reading a book like always with coffee ready. Every night, he felt a little more at ease having you there. Even when he didn't show it, he was slowly starting to fall for you.
And it scared him. More than anything. You were the right person, but it was the wrong time.
He couldn't promise to love you the way you deserved. To be the man that you hoped he would be. For so long, Joel was someone people feared. He never hesitated to do what he had to in order to survive.
So how could a girl like you ever love a man like him?
"Joel...s-say something." You stammered, nervously picking at your nail.
He turned to meet your gaze and wanted nothing more than to kiss you again. To feel you against him. But he swallowed hard and straightened his stance.
"I held my end of the bargain...now it's your turn." He groaned, then stomped over to the fire and kicked dirt into it to put it out.
"But—"
"Don't." He said with a stern voice. "Get some sleep. I'll keep watch."
"Joel—"
"I won't tell you again."
You didn't want to fight with him. So many different emotions washed over you, it was overwhelming. And all you wanted to do was sleep.
Maybe you shouldn't have asked him to kiss you. Because then you wouldn't be laying there wishing you could kiss him again. Maybe, you wouldn't have realized you were falling in love with him.
—————
Chapter two
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller imagine#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us fic#tlou hbo#joel tlou#tlou2#tlou fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction
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bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡
surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗
(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS
goddess, laufey
♡ released march 6th, 2024
♡ single
♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds
eternal sunshine, ariana grande
♡ released march 8th, 2024
♡ full album / LP
♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)
♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds
unheard, hozier
♡ released march 22nd, 2024
♡ extended play / EP
♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)
♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds
super real me, illit
♡ released march 25th, 2024
♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡
♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction
♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10
♡ 10. my world, illit
girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭
♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande
i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much
♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim
k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it
♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey
girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it
♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande
exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari
♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande
(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop
♡ 4. smart, le sserafim
no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)
♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande
i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it
♡ 2. magnetic, illit
illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3
♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande
SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS
♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande
fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷
♡ 2. super real me, illit
so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies
♡ 3. with you-th, twice
so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)
♡ 4. easy, le sserafim
self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10
♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez
i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS
♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER
♡ TWICE
♡ LANA DEL REY
♡ LE SSERAFIM
♡ ARIANA GRANDE
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS
♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖
♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed
♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE
this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖
lots of love 💘
#very excited ab this <3#hope you like it <3#now playing... ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#wonyoungism#it girl#pink pilates princess#girlhood#female hysteria#self care#messy girl#girly stuff#girlcore#girly tumblr#pinterest girl#this is a girlblog#hyperfemininity#divine feminine#princess#pink aesthetic#pinkcore#sanrio#im just a girl#self growth#self improvement#music#magazine#music video#spotify#rockstar girlfriend
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OYSTERRR!!!! i have more beatle themed this or thats/would you rathers for you 🫶
would you rather see the bugs (in person) at the cavern or the rooftop performance?
clean shaven paul or mcbeardy?
would you rather know what really happened on the 1961 paris trip or 1968 india trip?
mendips or forthlin road?
fits before brian (leather get up) or after brian (suits)
general question: favorite beatle girl?
would you rather: have johns sense of humor or pauls eyelashes?
im glad u like these! i really like making them and your account is one of my favorites on bugstumblr 💗 i’ll start signing off with an emoji so u know it’s me - 🥸
NONNYYY!!!! You are so sweet <3 I'm so curious who you are now, are we mutuals?
would you rather see the bugs (in person) at the cavern or the rooftop performance?
I would rather see them at the cavern. There's so much footage of the rooftop, and it's such a bittersweet event. Whereas the cavern was the height of their live performance powers. Oh to be a secretary on her lunchbreak, as the world is opening up and the Beatles are just beginning to shine through the gaps!
clean shaven paul or mcbeardy?
This is a difficult one, because I first saw the Paul-light as he hopped over that chair in their new studio. I like that beard, but I don't like the "I am a man doing man things" beard from the following year.
But the soft cheeks and jaw are so good. Plus you get a better view of his neck with no beard. So I'm going to have to go with clean-shaven.
would you rather know what really happened on the 1961 paris trip or 1968 india trip?
Oooh Nonny, now you're really asking the hard questions. Hmmm. [sits staring into space for 5 minutes thinking of all the possibilities for both]. Nnnnggh Paris.
mendips or forthlin road?
Forthlin Rd, no question. The vibe in Forthlin in cosy home where your friend's ma would invite you in for a piece of toast. The vibe in Mendips is weird forbidding B&B you'll tell your friends about for years.
fits before brian (leather get up) or after brian (suits)
Suits for me. The leather just sounds icky tbh. And I adore the way they played with style and pattern even quite early on.
general question: favorite beatle girl?
Linda is my queen. She saved Paul from despair, and they matched each other's freak. He was a better person with her, I think. And I wish we had the opportunity to see how she'd response to recent changes in attitudes to gender and sexuality.
Honourable mention to Jane Asher who's dignity is impressive. And Mo who was there in the Cavern, and on the rooftop, a real one who deserved better.
would you rather: have johns sense of humor or pauls eyelashes?
Are we talking eyelashes to wear or to lick? I don't particularly want to have long eyelashes. I bet they're annoying when they get in your eye.
Can I have John's sense of humour but, like, without the mean parts?
Thanks for these Nonny, I look forward to more asks 🦪
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how do i know if im my teacher’s favorite?
1. They give you GIFTS!! books, food, pencils all that stuff. I can assure you, no teacher just hands out books to students (unless the book is required for their course, obviously)
2. They SHARE PERSONAL INFO! If they tell you where they live, the latest family gossip or even stupid things like the new toy they bought for their pet or how annoying traffic was when they were going to get food.
3. This might be a reach but when they use swear words in front of you. none of my teachers cuss in front of students, not even him, except when we’re alone. That man is potty-mouthed! And he knows it, cause whenever he says the f-word he comes closer to me and whispers it…naughty!
4. They talk to you about other students, especially if it’s a tiny complaint. “This guy so used chat gpt for his essay…” Or “Come take a look at this, she did great huh?” when talking about someone’s homework.
5. They “annoy” you, playfully of course. Most of my teachers are kind and respectful, but this man, my god. He’s gonna mess with me till all my hairs fall off. They might do things like making silly little jokes about you in front of the class/ in front of other students followed by a wink, or even a tiny laugh.
6. They let shit SLIDE! I’m telling you, i do things to him that he’d never let others get away with? Came late without a pass? Eh, no worries…Didn’t do your homework? You’re good, take your time. Cussing in from of them? Oh they love it.
7. They recommend “inappropriate” shows/movies/books (mature humor, violence etc etc basically all the stuff teachers ARE NOT allowed to even talk about with students) HEAR ME OUT! you know you’re your teacher’s favorite when they recommend a show they’ve watched because it reminds them of you, or they think you might like it. Even if it’s like…the most out of pocket tv show there is.
8. They are genuinely interested in your personal life. They might ask you things about it and even remember things you told them a while ago to make conversation.
9. Again, interest in knowing about you/what you like is a big part of the deal. if your teacher lets you speak about things you WOULD NOT talk to with a teacher (A celebrity crush, for instance) And they engage and they laugh about it and it’s all shit and giggles, they like you.
10. They let you borrow their stuff. You need their computer real quick? Sure log in. You need to make a call and your phone’s dead? Use theirs! You’re cold? Take their jacket…I kid you not, i know this sounds OUT OF A POORLY WRITTEN FANFICTION, But this man has let me borrow his jacket TWICE!!! such a gentleman <3
#male tc#male teacher crush#teacher crush#teacher crush community#teacher crush confessions#teacher attachment#tc community#tc blog#tc crush#tcc
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Though I'm open to commissions, please don't ask me to draw anyone real. I feel like people who ignore the fact that I've mentioned on this account this I draw only OCS and characters people are choosing what they want to see, read, and hear.
I'm fine with people asking for anything but actual people, especially cause the last commission I did on a real person they didn't pay so I never gave them the full piece.
If you want a Commission please listen afollor the posts because they are basically rules. I have more on my main account at @arenabreadandbiscuits. If I have to make anymore post explaining and ESPECIALLY on this account I'm going to annoyed with you in DMS if you manage to be one of these people who can't read or follow my rules.
The account mentioned about is my main account, this account is a comic I'm working on, stop asking for commissions on here unless you have good funds cause they aren't cheap, you use my methods payment app, you understand I can do real people I just prefer not to and to do fictional characters and OCS more, then theres no reason for me to explain to you what your doing wrong with you ask and have none of this ready before doing so.
if you really are confused as to what I will draw the ask. I'm very picky on who I accept my money from. I only take Cashapp, Venmo, Chime, and One.
The next person who comes to me and asks me something on commissions that I never said was allowed or claimed I do is getting blocked. If you have questions ask them but most of my posts between both accounts have answered this over and over again and I'm tired of saying the same thing when the information is RIGHT THERE.
On another note since my last real life comm wasn't paid for by the person who called for it, no.. I wont draw your son, mother, father,dog.. if I can't confirm you'll pay I won't draw anything and payment is accepted before everything else so if you aren't capable of paying you're blocked. Plus I already stated here that I don't feel comfortable drawing real people so respect that and don't ask me to do so unless they have an oc of something that I can draw for them instead.
The whole point of commissions is for me to make money doing the things I can do. Realism isn't a big genre of mine so unless you want someone in my style then don't ask me for real people. I feel most comfortable this way and for me to even do your commission if you ask for one, I NEED to be comfortable or well both be upset. YOU because you didn't follow my rules, and ME because you didn't follow my rules.
I can of course work on anything but with everything I've been through the last two years alone. If you don't have the money immediately you're getting blocked. I'll try anything really but respect me if I turn down something. Don't make me tell you to find another artist more than one time. Also no one better DM me thinking IM the one looking for someone to commission.
I'm not, clearly I need money too digbat. Basically anyone who doesn't DM me like this is getting blocked:
"Hii, I'm looking for someone to draw my OC for me. Full lineart, full color, I'm willing to wait as you work, now rush and I at least have around 300$ on my with no background or home issues to worry about with my money so Merry Christmas OP! I can pay with Cash app/Chime/One/Venmo/Current." And that should be all... Something like that. It's not hard at all.
Thx.
Any questions ask, just make sure they are reasonable. Don't ask me something you wouldn't want anyone asking you. Like I said since this account was supposed to be for my comic idea don't ask for the commissions here but at my main account here: @arenabreadandbiscuits This is the final time I'll be making a post of commissions on this account, the other has all the information anyone could need. Please use it.
If you ask here I'll be ignoring you. Toodles!
#digital art#my art#artwork#digital artist#digital drawing#digital illustration#digital painting#oc artist#art project#artists on tumblr#black art#art#digital commisions#art comms open#commission#art commisions#commisions open#taking commisions#writing community#writing commissions#writing comms open#real money only#chime#cashapp#venmo#artists on deviantart#artists on twitter#small artist#my writing#writing
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UH are we allowed to ask you questions? Cause I have questions on. The Sillies. (Kinjo and Yuki) Like what are your thoughts on their ship? I see you draw Kinjo with DRA Yuki and the real Yuki and I want to know what you actually think about them.. feel free to go off about it but if not you can just delete this hdshhsd
oh yes of course!!! and i do wanna talk about it, gosh i really haven't elaborated my piece about them yet since this is an art blog n i felt a little annoying when i blow up a tag, THANK YOU!! !!!
I also don't see many people talk about post-sdra2 either. this take, im gonna be minty fresh
kinjomae analysis
DRA Yuki
Canon-speaking, Kinjomae was deliberately called back to in both games. Tsurugi fills the role of the queer survivor in dra the way that Yoruko blatantly does in sdra2 (and the protagonist dies) except, it's less obvious as a main couple because of the way linuj writes, and it also doesn't fit the way some people see stereotyped mlm characters.
Kinjo's entire life is a trauma that is so oriented on staying alone, being alone in his suffering and his profession. He particularly killed the men closest to him, (Teruya, Kouhei, threatening Utsuro, and even his father) and seeing those people die around him leaves him numb. I feel like the Yuki of the first game is another unhealthy contributor to the sad cycle of his life, but ALSO remains to be his biggest savior. Kinjo and Akane are the only characters of DRA to have both 5 free-times, their bond has always been THAT highlight level of important.
DRA Yuki tears into this unhealthy string of Tsurugi's life by literally preventing the one time he felt alone the most. In Yuki's perspective, Tsurugi is such a strong figure but still trusting himself to lean on him, it solidifies both of them and forces them to develop their situations even when Utsuro rips through the Yuki facade. They were partners in crime unknowing that one of them was a criminal, omg, they were the dear rabbit, the along came a spider, the jane and john doe,,,
Tsurugi mentions he can't trust anybody but Yuki, Tsurugi gives Yuki a pass at trying to murder him despite his rigid moral. (not without a punch or two, but impressive.) and when Yuki is on the outsides he is the connected peacekeeper to Kinjo VS. Everyone Else. They are there to hold eachother's hands so they can still reconnect onto the border of the group. Like, the way Yuki shouts main character philosophy in chapter 4 at him while he's fighting everyone else brutally at the dinner table, and once again in chapter 6.
(Teruya, then fulfils this goal of reparation with Rei after they leave the killing game, but not on the mental stability side.) Tsurugi is seemingly independant and incredibly uncontrollable due to his detachment, and yet Yuki is able to have a significant part of influence over his life; as well as the deceased Kisaragi pre-killing game.
Yuki IS and will always be the exception to him and no matter how hard he tries to escape it, it follows him till the remainder of his character arc. In the same way, Tsurugi was the kickstarter to Utsuro's new mindset too. It's the "You can't pull the trigger cause you love me", cause that's what Utsuro-Yuki is to Tsurugi. Utsuro may be the most vile villain in the world to somebody who even considered assisted self defense to be a crime on first thought, and then he STILL proceeded to not take that final shot. He didn't hesitate blowing Mikado up, who arguably wasn't the first source of despair.
anyways i think dra yuki-utsuro/tsurugi are integral, important, and good to know your hizstory
he wants me i want him, we went out, then we (YukiUtsuro) DIED!! /ref
Yuki
Tsurugi would move on to be the worst man to cope in the existence of the franchise, and probably hardly ever move on after the death of DRA Yuki. If Yuki was truly dead he'd have two funerals for his two guypals, and spit on Utsuro's grave pretending not to like him. Plus that bad ending where Tsurugi just wakes up in the middle of the night in cold sweat shows what would sort of happen, he thinks about them too much. However,
Yuki was still a concept of a person who existed in the world. He's not gone, he's just someone in a different form, and still is inside the memory of Kinjo's mind that remains deteriorating. He's like, the same dude but he's in the clutches of EVIL!! and he hates evil. (Kinjo seems to catch onto Mikado's plans early on and then it only amplifies in his duty to stop Utsuro and find Yuki.)
Tsurugi's defeatist attitude to fail saving Teruya and Yuki was very much a falsetto because of the Omake 2 and I truly believe Rei was right that this was their agreed purpose.
The real Yuki has none of these shared moments that Tsurugi can look back on together, but if it was just the memories he wouldn't have acted so patronizing to Utsuro. He's affectionately looking back on the person that Utsuro was, which was just Yuki Maeda. Did Homura Akemi decide to go back in time for 10 years just so Madoka could share moments with her?? Absolutely not, and the same goes for Tsurugi Kinjo, who ran an entire organization which later adopted the name of the goal. As Mikado joked, it's "the love of your life" but it's in the most unconventional messy, dictatorial, and murderous way.
Kinjomae absolutely drives the narrative forward on Yuki's side of the story even if it's significantly relegated mostly to the end. Imagine your entire existence leaning on a few people you can't even remember, but they remember you? One dude sacrifices a guy, one girl sacrifices her body. With Tsurugi's final decrees of (semi) unconditional care for you, you finish the trial with this one-sided trauma bond and a promise to keep the survivors safe. Sora takes on all the karmic debt of Divine Luck, and peace returns in an ending that isn't really elaborated on.
ur now a fugitive awesome trans guyboss with superpowers, and you're just absolutely bawling out of your mind at this point. some blue haired dude in a wheelchair is going to die if you don't help him out with your sora-luck.
nobody talks about this enough but this is THE PERFECT set-up for a postgame friendship to develop, not only are they both survivors, this is the genuine Yuki who isn't hiding apart of an Utsuro disguise. He's alive but now in the body of someone Kinjo despised,,, he hates Akane, he refuses to acknowledge her. he loves yuki. But Yuki remembers her fondly and has to take care of the body, but he probably hates himself. not to mention the INTENSE guilt you would get from feeling anything in it or the dysphoria of even wearing/not wearing the clothes she is??? sdra2 so evil?? soruko died so kinjomae could slowburn.
There's nothing Yuki can do now but go on his quest to potentially get along with this man who is homo-erotically trauma bonded to him and got a whole-ass person killed in the process of ending Utsuro and finding the true Maeda., He also has to go atone to Yoruko and the rest of the gang. as you can see i like kinjomae i think they are a foundational element in the story of dra.
unrelated thinking
their suits are completely black and white i find that silly they match
my partner and i did a voiceover of their final freetime one time cause we were feeling quirky.
youtube
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HIII IM ARIA!! I’m a Galarian Contestee of 3 years! I’m also training at The Master Dojo under my Dad, Master Mustard!
This is just a fun little blog to do fun little things! My older brother recommended it for me!! I hope we get to have fun!!
ME!!
Transfem Cozycoric — she/her + cae/caer + plu/plush + soft/softs + they/them
Born, raised and still live in The Isle of Armour!
MY BATTLE-ABLE POKÉMON!!
I got Meraki as a Venipede from a Unovan breeder about 5 years ago! She’s rather energetic and loves to run around. She runs with me every morning during my training! An amazing little training buddy.
I rescued Fika about 2 years ago from an illegal breeding business located in Paldea. She’s rather giddy and energetic, and plays with Meraki a lot. She also loves helping Mum serve the table, almost always floating in the kitchen when she knows it’s time to prepare dinner!
I got Mirea from a reputable breeder that was located in Alola about 4 years ago! She was the one that actually inspired me to start doing Contests, and we’ve been doing them together for the entire 3 years so far — and we plan to continue! She’s very chilled out, a “happy with anything” kind of girl.
I found them in the Max Lair in The Crown Tundra! They aren’t the “real deal”, but I love them nonetheless! They’re also a Contestee alongside Mirea and I, and seem to quite adore the attention they receive.
I got her as a baby Applin 5 years back from a now retired Grass Type Breeder here in Galar! She’s very sweet and friendly, and truly believes she’s a lap Dragon. To be fair, I let her believe it too — haha!
She was the very first Pokémon I ever got as a Stufful, gifted to me by Dad! She loves training in the Dojo alongside me, and works out with me in the mornings as well! She’s a bit of a toughie, but we love her for it.
MY OTHER POKÉMON!!
My retired baby! She got badly injured from an altercation and now cannot battle or compete in contests, but she’s loving her easier lifestyle. As long as she has her disco ball, she’s happy.
My up and coming Contestee!! She’s young, having only been adopted two months ago — but she’s already sparkling with talent and loving the Contestee training! I’m unsure whether she’ll end up evolving or not, I’m waiting to see what she wants to do!
OOC //
hihi, it’s domino! likes and follows will be from @w0nderl-ust, but the hub is @w0nders-of-ardent!
PELIPPER:-
mail — on
unmail — off
malice — on
MUSHARNA:-
mail — off
malice — off
MISC.:-
magic anons — off
mystery gift — off
union circle — ask
GUIDELINES:-
- everyone involved is adults, but nothing suggestive of nsfw
- not everything is going to be 100% canon
- in-character banter & hate is fine and even heavily encouraged! be annoying!!
- happy to interact with any type of blog
- i hold the right to block someone or delete an ask for any reason (don’t be creepy/icky and you’ll be fine)
- triggers will be tagged as “tw [trigger]”!!
TAG SYSTEM:-
#🎭 aria posts! -> posts made ic
#🎭 aria shares! -> reblogs made ic
#🎭 aria responds! -> ic ask responses
#🎭 team member [name]! -> posts including specific team members
#🗝️ ooc dump -> posts that are ooc
#🗝️ ooc rb -> reblogs that are ooc
#🗝️ ooc response -> ooc ask responses
#🗝️ lore drop 🎭 -> :]]]
PAST ARC(s):-
insert stuff here
CURRENT ARC(s):-
insert stuff here
ref incoming!
team ref incoming!
#pkmn irl#pokeblogging#rotomblr#rotumblr#blog intro#intro post#pinned intro#introductory post#introduction
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