#so if you intend to eat a lot of cinnamon

[gender-ambiguous-pirate]

The hitman smiles as I drink the tea he has laced with poison, thinking his plot has finally succeeded. Little does he know I eat ungodly amounts of cinnamon daily and have developed an immunity to arsenic.

[temptaetions]

cinnamon sugar 🌙 k.sm (m)

a/n: the photo above is from seungmin's instagram. i don't own the media, but i sure was blessed to see it. anyway, i think this is my first post with like...actual smut in it. please forgive me, because it is so shitty, i'm so bad at writing it. anyway, uhm, enjoy! my anon ask is now on, if you'd like to send any requests in!

synopsis: her lips taste sweet, like cinnamon sugar...she's such a treat.

genre: best friends to lovers | idiots in love | x fem!reader | smut | fluff | angst

pairing(s): best friend!kim seungmin x virgin!reader

word count: 6k. lowercase intended.

rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.

warning(s): swearing, mutual pining, a lot of emotional turmoil from both parties, horribly written smut [between k.sm x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, soft d/s themes, (slight) overuse of pet names (angel, sweetheart) oral (f. receiving), paragraphs of praise, so much kissing, some grinding, the lightest amount of nipple play. riding/missionary, crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, they stare into each others eyes and hold hands while fucking oh my god]. this is slightly self indulgent but the guilt i feel after writing it, and so badly at that, is overwhelming.

what to listen to: gaze - sweetback | eat it - megan thee stallion | agora hills - doja cat | real love - mary j. blige | whatta man - salt-n-pepa & en vogue

message from: seungmin🧸🤎

[7:32pm] i’m coming to pick u up, i want a cinnabon.

message to: seungmin🧸🤎

[7:33pm] ur paying 🤑

"can i get aux?" you say as you slide into seungmin's car. the leather of the passenger seat was cool to the touch, a sign that nobody had sat in your self-assigned seat. "hello to you too, best friend. how was my day? oh, it was lovely! it's so nice to see you, too!" "oh, shut up, min. you don't give a shit if i ask those questions or not." you chuckle, snatching his aux cable out of the center console. "you know me so well, fuck. i hate small talk. just merge souls with me." you and seungmin had been best friends for over ten years. he knew you inside and out - from your scalp to the bottom of your feet (including the scar from his razor scooter slamming into your ankle at age sixteen.)

you shared a lot of interests, but none as intense as your love of music and cinnamon rolls. he was always at your dance recitals. your biggest fan, really. he cheered, but never showed you more praise than necessary.

"i need you to stay humble, it helps me tolerate you." he murmured into your hair after one recital last year. you just shook your head in amusement, holding it high as you let him march you to his car for dinner.

"oh, i updated our playlist! i have a few new things on here." you said excitedly as you scrolled through the playlists on your homepage. you shared this love language – you had dozens of collaborative playlists with user ksm922, and you giggled at the ugly photos of the two of you he often used for the covers.

"sure." he shrugs, using his pinky to turn the volume dial up. your eyes trail on his slender fingers as they return to the wheel, but you shake it off just as quickly. pressing play, you let the smooth r&b sounds fill the car.

"oh, this is nice. what is this?" seungmin nods his head along to it, and you glance at the screen. "gaze by sweetback. it played on my sade station, and the vibes are just so kim seungmin, yanno?" you close your eyes and fake being a disc-jockey, his hand coming to pinch your arm lightly, a chuckle playing on his lips. "stop that, you'd be a horrible deejay."

"are you sure this isn't about sex? geez, bub, act like you get some." he teases, and you swat his arm. "i do get some!" "oh yeah? from who?" his eyes are trained on the road as he bullies you about your sex life (or lack thereof), allowing you a moment to stare at his ringed fingers. oh, the way they gripped the wheel, they could so easily grip your neck–

shut up, y/n.

"your mom." you huff, crossing your arms with a pout. you hated this conversation, and you often avoided it with him. yes, seungmin was your best friend, but you never wanted to talk about your sex life with him. he had experiences…and you heard from so many people how good it was.

with him, to be specific.

"what are we, thirteen? you wish my mother would breathe in your direction, you fucking virgin." he scoffs, and you force a snicker out. you glance at your phone, a smirk threatening to escape as it started. "oh, this one is good. turn it up!" he obliged, not even giving the screen a second look.

you settle in your seat as megan thee stallion's voice blares through the speakers, muffling a soft laugh behind your hand. seungmin hated the idea of you being a sexual being, and you often used it to bother him. you liked seeing him get red in the face, and squirm. it doesn't mean you understood it, but it was hilarious.

legs shakin', hit it 'til the bed breaking…bed springing, talk to it…

seungmin's mouth is agape, his cheeks firetruck red…

i don't want just one nut, daddy, i need the whole tree, ah…

…before his nimble fingers press skip. 

"are you serious, y/n? in my christian minecraft server?" his eyes are still fixed on the road, his knuckles turning white from his hold on the steering wheel. weird.

"it's megan! i love her, she's the hot girl coach. you don't want me to be a virgin forever, do you?" you joke, and he scrunches his nose. "since when do you listen to music about getting your…ugh, whatever. don't ever bring up sex appeal, you repulse me." you laugh loudly, your hand going to pinch his cheek softly. "you're so cute when you get flustered, min. here, i'll play pretty boy by the neighbourhood in your honor."

he can't stop thinking about it. it's been four hours since you played the song in the car, and it's still stuck in his head. well, what he did hear.

you, inherently, did not come across as a sexual being. you didn't, and that wasn't seungmin being just a platonic, nice friend – you genuinely did not care to be the core of anyone's sexual desire. you wore oversized shirts and loose jeans, the occasional dress paired with black pantyhose and boots. "gotta hide my ankles, minnie. that's how they getcha." but thinking about you…listening to that song? your hips winding down on some other man like he's seen you do on stage? hell, some other man's face when he's right here?

it made him sick.

and you were so beautifully unaware as you swirled your fork in your cinnamon roll, bringing the tines to your lips and sucking the icing clean off them. not a second lick or adjustment, just straight off. he felt his cheeks heat as his cock twitched in his pants, and he almost missed you waving your fingers in his face. "yo, you good? you seem distracted." you have a bit of icing on your lip, and he subconsciously reaches over to wipe it off. your eyes are wide as he does so, and he doesn't know why he can't move his thumb from your lip. he doesn't know why everything feels like it's moving in slow motion, and he just watches as you instinctively suck your lip between your teeth at the loss of contact.

you're so pretty, fuck, you're so pretty.

"i'm good. do you want to go?" he's surprised to hear his own voice, and you nod absently. he was acting weird, he knew he was, but he feels like there's a fog in his brain that he can't shake. maybe it was the way he'd memorized every curve of your body, from watching your fluid dances. maybe it was the way that you smiled so innocently, you were so innocent. your eyes big and pure, your heart full, your mind…naïve.

he didn't understand the sudden urge to ruin you, but he knew he had to get over it, and fast.

"fuck." he groans, and your head whips around to look at him. "you okay?"

he nods quickly, his hand landing on the small of your back to guide you to the car faster. "min, if you have to shit, you can just say that." "ugh, shut up. you always say the most unhinged shit. no wonder you can't get laid." he rolls his eyes, and you just laugh. "trust me, it's not for lack of opportunity." you let him open the door for you, and you wink at him playfully, his fingers flicking your forehead before shutting the door. it was true, multiple of your friends had offered to…deflower you. hyunjin, on your dance team. minho, on your production team. felix, your choreographer. even their friends in the music department had offered, and you simply smiled, shaking your head at them. "i just like to flirt, your dick is your problem."

but much like seungmin, they had all seen the way you moved. how easily you sunk to your knees, how smooth your gyrations were, the way you looked like you enjoyed it. you felt good knowing people were attracted to you, but it never compared to what you believed was seungmin's innocent gaze.

it was weird to want more from him, and it pained you, slightly. he was cute, your best friend. cute, experienced, and he knew you. he knew you so well, what could go wrong? he could reject you, that's what.

you're in your own head when you realize the car has been moving, and rather fast, at that. "min, seriously. are you shitting your pants?" you roll your eyes, and he brings the car to a screeching halt. "bro, your brakes." you cringe, covering your ears as he pulls into his driveway.

"are you going to kill me? no way, jisung always said i'd go out this way. please, tell my mother i love her and make sure i get the best spot in heaven." you feign terror as you unbuckle your seatbelt, not noticing the way seungmin can't even look at you. you feel how hard he slams his door, and you give his car a pitiful look as you slide out, following him to his apartment. he lived on the first floor, what a privilege.

he doesn't look at you as he walks into the apartment, tossing his keys onto the kitchen table. "y/n, i have a question."

"oh? mr. attitude has a question, does he?" you smile sarcastically, crossing your arms over your chest, the cowhide leather of the letterman you stole from him in high school rough against your skin. "alright, let's hear it." "why are you still a virgin?" okay, not what you were expecting. don't let it fluster you. you don't really notice his hardened expression as you try to answer. "well…it's just not on my list of priorities. i'll get fucked when i get fucked, you know?"

you shrug, not thinking much of your answer as he steps closer. "hm, i don't buy it."

raising an eyebrow, you shake your head, unbuttoning the jacket. "you're acting so weird, seungmin. if you wanna fuck me, just say that."

you sound surprisingly confident, and you can feel your heart pounding in your ears as you slide the jacket off, draping it over the couch. you gather your hair forward, spinning to speak to him again. "did you still want to watch the mov-" you're cut off by his lips pressing against yours, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer. you can't move, your hands frozen as he works you carefully, lips burning against your own. his movements feel desperate, and you let your body take over as you kiss him back, a soft sigh escaping his lips as your tongue slips between them. the kiss is hungry, his hands are digging into you so deeply you're sure you'll bruise. 

he stops. his fingers let go of your hips, and he pulls away, your lips chasing after his as he does. your lip gloss is glittering on his face, before he covers his eyes. "i'm so sorry, y/n. i have no idea what came over me, i…i'm sorry, please, let me take you home."

you can't speak, your mind still swirling with endorphins. your best friend of ten years just made the biggest move on you, and without a word, you managed to fumble it. no way. absolutely not.

"sorry for what? i'm not understanding." you suddenly feel very vulnerable, your skin littering with goosebumps at the sudden change in the air. "i'm perfectly fine with…whatever you were doing."

seungmin peers back at you through dark eyes. "no, y/n. we can't." he swipes his keys off the table, and you huff. "and why can't we, seungmin? what is so bad about kissing me?" his eyes are wide as you ramble, and it's all word vomit. you can't seem to stop it, but he's drinking every word.

"what is it? am i a bad kisser? is it because i'm a virgin? i don't think it's very fair that you can openly admit to being other girls' firsts but you can't even do that for me. you haven't even offered. i'm not saying you fucking have to, because you're my best friend and you always will be. but holy fuck, seungmin, i'm trying to get some. you said i should, so why not be the one i get it from?" 

you're out of breath, and seungmin just shakes his head as he takes one, two steps back in front of you. "you think i don't want to be your first? you think i don't want you all to myself, to ruin you for anyone else? you think i don't want to fuck you stupid, until all you know is my name? are you hearing yourself right now?"

"you're certainly not acting like it. it doesn't have to mean shit, seungmin. it's just sex." you roll your eyes, leaning on the couch. "it's not just sex, y/n. this is a huge step for you, for us. our friendship is on the line, and i don't want to do something you might regret later." you shake your head, and he hates when you get stubborn like this, you won't listen to reason. "still not seeing the issue here. i lose my virginity and gain some experience for the next guy, you get your dick wet. we go to bed, and we act like it didn't happen in the morning. you take me home, we listen to our playlists on the way there, and we go about our days."

he flings his keys onto the floor, his hands reaching to hold your face. he tucks a few strands behind your ears, fingers lovingly caressing your pierced lobes before he looks you dead in the eyes. "y/n, if i give you what you want tonight, there is no chance in hell you're going to fuck someone else."

you stare back at him silently, your eyes darting to his lips before your tongue peeks out to wet your own. it's not the worst thing in the world, being with seungmin. it could be good…and not just the sex. he knows you, you know him…his lips felt like they were made for you. they always had, since your drunken kiss on christmas eve.

"you say that like it's a threat." you challenge, and he bites back a smile, nodding his head. his hand has traveled to your hip, his other still holding your face when his nose touches yours, his breath hitting your lips. "if you want me to stop at any point, just let me know. understand, sweetheart?"

you nod, leaning forward to connect your lips. he pulls back, shaking his head. "i need to hear you say you understand."

"jeez, seungmin, i understand. i get it, can we please move this along?" you're not the least bit embarrassed as you whine against him, and he lets you kiss him. your lips are eager, your hands carding through his hair as he licks into your mouth. the kiss is all teeth and tongue, a soft moan interrupting it as he gives your clothed breast a gentle squeeze, his thumb working over your pebbled nipple. "min, i…" "what, tell me what you want, sweetheart." his lips trail down your jaw, nipping along your exposed neck carefully. your whines are like heaven to him, "n-need you.." "aw, you need me? need me where?" he's loving this, the way you squirm under his lips, under his nimble fingers. you push your chest into him involuntarily, "h-here. please?"

you grab his wrist, a wave of confidence taking over as you guide his hand under the waistband of your sweatpants. his fingers are cool against your clothed heat, a soft wet patch forming on the fabric. his eyes are wide as he instinctively lets his hand run over the spot, watching as you flinch, lip caught between your teeth. he presses hard against you, a gasp falling from your mouth. "i haven't even touched you, and look at how wet you are for me. a little pathetic, hm?" "'m’ yours, minnie. always, always been yours." you don’t mean that, he thinks. he's letting you grind against his hand, his gaze transfixed on your face. your brows furrowed, eyes screwed shut as you used his hand to get yourself to the edge. his cock twitches at the little pants falling from your lips, when he decides he's had enough. you nearly cry at the loss of contact, his hand escaping the confines of your plush thighs. "minnie-" "if you're gonna cum, it's gonna be on my face. let's go, sweetheart." he tugs you towards his bedroom, your legs weak as you try not to stumble behind him. "bed. on your back."

he's pulling his sweater over his head, and you nearly coo at his messy hair in your fucked out state. he feels a flush coat his cheeks as you lay there, waiting for him to tug your pants off. hooking his fingers in your waistband, you lift your hips to make it easier, and he slides your underwear and sweatpants off in one go. you suddenly feel shy, closing your legs. 

"ah, ah. it's just me, sweetheart. do you want to stop?" his hands move to your knees, the cool metal of his rings sending a soft shock to your spine. "no, i'm…okay. i'm just nervous." "it's okay, angel. i got you, don't worry." he presses a kiss to your forehead, nose…lips. he lingers there a bit, but doesn't let it deepen as he runs his hands down your legs. his fingers dig into your thighs, pulling them apart for him to settle between. you're soaking, the heat of his stare making anxiety bubble in your stomach. "fuck, you're going to be the death of me." his lips press soft, chaste kisses along your inner thigh, nipping carefully as you mewl. "minnie, please..i..please…" you end in a whimper, and who is he to deny you when you beg so nicely? he buries his nose in your pussy, bumping your clit as he lets his tongue drag through your folds, collecting your sweet, sweet arousal on his face. your hand flies to his hair as his lips suck on your clit, thighs threatening to close around his head. he doesn't care, he'd die a happy man right there between your legs.

"f-fuck, seungmin, ah! right there, holy f-fuh.." you're shaking around his head, bucking your hips into his face as gently as you can muster. he loves it, but he can't tell you that as he drowns in the scent of you, the obscene sounds of his tongue against you paired with your pretty whimpers ensuring he'd probably cum in his pants. "oh, b-baby i'm gonna.."

his hand reaches for yours, interlacing your trembling fingers with his, his other hand massaging your thigh in encouragement. he can barely bring himself to talk, a soft moan of his against your clit sending you over the edge, a soft cry of his name echoing in the room. "that's it, good job angel. you did so well for me, hm?" he's still lapping at you, not wanting to miss a single shiver or whimper from your body. "s'always that good? min?" he peers up at you from his spot between your legs, your lips parted as you blink, a tear rolling down the side of your face. he moves up to wipe it away, but you take his hand in yours, kissing his palm softly. "you okay? we can stop." he presses his forehead against yours, not able to process your cute gesture without wanting to bawl. you nod, a lazy smile crossing your lips as you reach to kiss him. "m'all good, minnie. do you…want me to help you?"

you can feel his clothed cock pressing against your leg, practically begging to be set free, and you teasingly buck up against it. he inhales sharply, shaking his head, "i want tonight to be about you. i want to make sure you feel good, okay? are you sure you want to continue?" "yeah, m'all yours." you sigh against his lips, a chaste kiss from you to him. "can i take this off, sweetheart?" he yanks lightly on your shirt, and you nod. you help him tug it over your head, your fingers reaching backwards to unclasp your bra. he feels like all the air is sucked out of the room as you lay beneath him, for him, in all your glory. every curve he's imagined just as gorgeous. "you're staring, it's making me shy." your soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "no, no, fuck, you're gorgeous. look at you, oh my god, i.." he trails off, his hands resting on your tummy. "you just went down on me, and you're short-circuiting over my tits, kim?" your teasing is not helping his brain, but the attitude brings him back to reality. "you know that's not all it is, stop it." he rolls his eyes, thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. it's soothing, the warmth of your skin radiating against his. he dips his head between your breasts, trailing open mouthed kisses all over your chest and stomach. "you're so beautiful. i'm literally the luckiest person in the entire universe." he's mumbling to himself mostly, but you feel soft tears prick at your eyes. his lips latch around one of your nipples, a gasp from you making him pull off with a pop. "can i…are you sure you want this, y/n? i really, really don't want you to regret this."

you grab his face in your hands, your thumbs lightly padding over his cheeks. "i want you, entirely. in this life, in the next life. okay? i got you, don't worry." you echo his words back to him, and he bites his lip, a hint of something in his eyes as he pulls back to unbuckle his pants. kicking them off quickly, you wait until he straightens to take a peek. 

the rumors were true. he's thick, his tip a soft mauve. your mouth is watering at the sight, when a snap of his fingers catches your attention. "eyes up here, sweetheart. i want you to look at me, can you do that?"

you nod, a shy smile on your lips as he goes to spread your knees again. "no, wait, minnie…" he feels his heart skip a beat at your voice, eyes flickering to yours in concern. "i…can i be on top? i read that…it can be better that way." you swallow thickly, and he feels the tips of ears burn but a smile grazes his features. "you studied for sex?"

any awkwardness is gone. you scoff, a light smack landing on his arm. "forgive me for wanting to be in control."

"you want to be in control? okay. fine, but you won't last long." he shrugs, sliding onto the bed behind you, eyes taking in the curve of your ass before you turn. "lay back, asswipe." "watch the attitude, or i'm shutting this shit down." he says, eyes serious as you feel your cheeks heat. you watch as he gets comfortable on his pillows, and you crawl over to him, your hands brushing against his sides as you straddle him. "we can go as slow as you want, okay?" his words are reassuring as his hands reach for your thighs, and you nod.

you take a deep breath, lightly letting your cunt drag along his length, his tip bumping your clit. you shiver, a buzz going up your legs as he takes your hips in his hands, manually guiding you over his cock. "did you read about this too?"

"shut up." you roll your eyes, his hands holding you in place. he looks…so convincing like this. like everything will go back to normal after this, like everything will be the same. he'll still be your best friend, and you'll still be desperately, hopelessly, stupidly in love with him. it's overwhelming, and you just bite your lip, shaking your head. "you're staring." "your dick is twitching, but i'm not saying shit." scoffing, you take him in your hand gently, lining him up with your aching center. you sink down slowly, the tip barely swiping your entrance when you grimace, a hiss escaping your lips as you screw your eyes shut. "i know, angel. here, let me help you." seungmin pulls you closer, his back against his headboard, careful not to pull out. you watch as his hand snakes between the two of you, his thumb softly circling your clit, your eyes threatening to close. "eyes open." you oblige, feeling a gush of arousal at his command, and you have no room to feel embarrassed when he begins to shallowly fuck into you, matching the pace of his thumb. your eyes are glossy as you move your hands to hold onto the headboard, your chest flush to his face. he kisses your shoulder, your soft whimpers music to his ears. 

"deeper? or stay like this?" he asks, voice shaking slightly, the warmth of your pussy almost staggering. it's humiliating how worked up you have him, but you need to stay humble. it helps him tolerate you. "d-deeper, is okay."

his arms wrap around your waist tightly, slowly pulling you down further, a whine escaping your throat as your hands move to his shoulders, your eyes meeting his. he's trying not to cum from the way your pretty cunt swallowed him so perfectly, taking him so well. made for him, just him. "m'so full, minnie." you clench around him, and it takes all his willpower not to finish. he's not far, he's practically seeing stars…but the way you're looking at him, you're so pretty, so ready to cry over his cock. he needs to drag this out as long as he can.

"y-you can move, if you want. p-please, want to feel you." you're pleading, he knows. he swallows, confidence wavering as he nods, slowly thrusting up into you, the squelch immediately catching his attention, eyes tearing from yours. he watches the way you take him, your body begging to be ruined by him. he moves a little faster, your mind beginning to blur as he falls into a rhythm. 

your nails are digging into his shoulders, your lip caught between your teeth as his hips rock against yours. his eyes flicker back to your face, and you manage a quick wink. he feels his cheeks burn beet red as he looks away. he feels like such a fucking virgin, when he is the one that's your first, not the other way around. pretty girl on his lap and he can't even look at you.

he wishes you had been his first, too, and he wishes you would have asked him sooner. you're so smart, you're so gorgeous, your lips taste like cinnamon sugar. fuck, he loves you. you're his best friend, you feel so good around him and you know him so well. he loves you, so fucking much.

his hips come to a slow, your moan drawing out as he drags his cock against your walls at an agonizing pace. "'still want to be in control, angel?" his lips press to your clavicle, and you nod against his neck. "will you tell me if it's good?"

he pulls you back, hand coming up to caress your face. "how could it not be, when it's you?"

you don't say a word, allowing his lips to meet yours in a chaste kiss. he slumps a bit, and you maneuver so his back is almost flat on the bed, and you try not to moan as the movement makes his cock hit you just right. "whenever you're ready, just use me how you want to." you feel a flutter in your stomach, giving an experimental roll of your hips, your hands flat on his side. raising your hips, your thighs tremble as you start a rhythm, bouncing on him carefully. he's watching you, the way you move so fluidly, like you're dancing. like you're enjoying him, using him, making his brain feel useless. he can't speak, just drinking in this picture of you he's never going to get to see again after tonight, taking in your throaty moans.

"m-minnie?" your eyes are low, your hands moving to his chest, pushing your breasts together. fuck, you are art. "y-yeah?" 

he can't even focus as you whimper, clamping around him like a vice, moving slightly faster. "m'close, i can't..i.." you're still looking at him, and he can't. he can't take it, using his strength to flip you on your back. he interlaces your fingers, pinning your hands above you as he roughly fucks into you, sharp cries falling from your lips.

his head dips, lips dragging along your jaw as he whispers in your ear. "this is where you belong. under me, begging for me. got it?"

you feel chills cover your body as you nod, "y-yes, god, yes." "good girl." he's so unsure of himself, he's so afraid he'll scare off your high but he needs to know. "did you mean what you said earlier?" he's speaking through gritted teeth, his eyes focused on the gloss in your eyes.

"hmm?" your brows furrow, your bitten lips slightly agape as his thrusts become sloppy, and he just shakes his head, opting to kiss you instead. hoping it'll help the knot in his stomach go away, hoping it will help you forget he asked. you can't help but pant into his mouth, feeling him smile against your lips. "you can let go, sweetheart. you did so well for me, yeah? i got you." you don't register how tightly you squeeze his fingers, or how deeply you're kissing him as you feel the white hot sensation rip through you. he's drunk off you, and you can feel him spurting inside you, his cum trickling out of you as his thrusts come to a slow, slow, stop.

but he doesn't, his lips don't. he can't stop kissing you, he doesn't want to talk. he doesn't want to tell you how you made him feel, how he can never see you the same again. he doesn't want to watch you walk out of his apartment tonight and possibly never be able to talk you again. he doesn't want to ever, ever hear about you doing this with some other guy, but he made his bed. 

your thighs are trembling around him, and you tug your fingers out of his grasp, pulling as far away from his mouth as you physically can. he pouts, chasing after them, only stopping when your eyes blink slowly at him.

"you alright?" his voice is soft, almost scared. you nod, swallowing thickly as you look away, tears forming in your eyes. "ah, talk to me, y/n. it's okay." "i meant it. what i said, earlier. i…don't know why i said it, i never planned on saying it. i'm sorry if it's going to make things awkward." you feel a tear escape, your hand quickly pawing it away. "awkward? with you? it’s not possible." he murmurs, and you glance at him, but he's staring at the pillows above your head.

"but you don't feel the same way." you say, almost as if you're trying not to hurt your feelings by letting your own words reject you, instead of him. he shifts, and you realize he's still inside you. he props himself up on his elbows, hands holding his head up as he peers at you. "you think i don't?"

"i know you don't." you laugh coldly, and he smiles. "yeah, miss sex expert? you know everything? did you read that, too?"

"ugh, stop. i'm never telling you anything again." you're becoming increasingly aware of your nudity, and seungmin can feel the hot flame of shame creeping up his back. he shakes his head, hating the way his blushing cheeks burn so bright. "i want you to tell me everything, forever. i love knowing you, i love trusting you. i'm glad you trusted me with this."

you can't look at him. his hand moves to make you look at him, fingers lightly squeezing your jaw. "and i meant what i said, too. you can't fuck anyone else. only i can see you like this, okay?"

his eyes are searching your face, watching you attempt to nod. "and…" he sighs, feeling tears prick at his eyes. "and i love you. i love your smile, and how you laugh when you play sex songs in the car. i love when we split cinnamon rolls, because you always try to take the bigger piece as if i won't just let you have it. i love when you say my name because it rolls so nicely off your tongue. i love how you move so effortlessly, and how you remember every little thing about anyone, ever. i love that you're funny, and you're so passionate. i love that you're so smart, far too smart to think that i wouldn't sell my soul to live an eternity by your side." his voice is trembling, and your eyes are wide and full of tears, full of adoration, of love for the stupid boy hovering above you.

"i love you, please. please say you're mine." his tears spill, and your lips part, a soft sob escaping as you pull him close, the cool metal of his necklace dragging against your damp skin. "i'm yours, always. i'm yours, i'm yours, i'm yours. i love you." you mumble against his lips, your tears mixing with his on your cheeks.

"thank fuck, i was about to end it all thinking about you doing that fucking trick on someone else." he mutters, and you snort as he buries his face. "that wasn't in the article, funnily enough. it just felt like the right thing to do. think if i pierced my clit, it'd feel better for you?" you ponder aloud, and he nips at your skin.

"don't even start, i haven't even pulled out." he groans, and you laugh loudly. "you're so pretty." he pouts, and rolls his eyes as they start filling with tears, your hand quickly wiping the ones that spilled. "is this going to happen every time? i kind of hate it."

"god, i hope so. i love seeing you like this for me." you tease, and he scrunches his nose. "shut up. stay humble, it's the only way i tolerate you." he nuzzles his nose back into your neck, and you let him stay there, carding your fingers through his hair.

"y/n?"

"yes, seungmin?" "i'm yours, you know that?"

"mmm, i do now. just mine?" "just yours. always." he nods as he pulls himself off you, placing a kiss on your temple, before brushing his lips on the shell of your ear. "someone has to fuck the attitude out of you, and i'm so glad it's gonna be me." you feel your skin heat at his words, and you smack him lightly. he gives a playful thrust, making you gasp before slowly pulling out. "you're off the hook for now, my angel. let's get you cleaned up." he doesn't stop kissing your face in the shower, or when he's shampooing your hair. he doesn't stop kissing your shoulders as he towels you dry, or your tummy when he works lotion into your skin. he can't keep his hands off you, even when you say you need to put clothes on. he can't get enough of the burn of your skin against his, and moves as fast as a human possibly can stripping the sheets off his bed and replacing them. 

he can't stop, and he won't stop kissing you, splitting cinnamon rolls with you, or singing sex songs in the car. he can't stop, and he won't stop, supporting you at your recitals and fucking you stupid as a reward. he can't stop, and he won't stop filling your cup until it's overflowing, making you laugh until you cry, and dragging moans of his name from your throat.

he can't stop, and he will never stop, loving you.

temptaetions © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[jaysswlvrr]

Never Have I Ever | Jake Sim (pt2)

౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪"you sure you a virgin, baby?"

synopsis: You play a game called 'Never Have I Ever' a popular TV show with a cute boy named Jake in hopes of finding your true love. During the game, he figures out some cute things about you.

You're a... virgin? read pt1 here

I mean you could read it without part one but to make it make more sense read pt1 and the WARNINGS about some things people may not like

warnings: UNprotected sex,(may, or may not have forgotten hehe), kissing, biting, make-outs, Jake and y/n are famous but not k-pop way (like tiktokers or smth), you really trust each other, pet names ?, little degrading, and size kink scattered everywhere if u squint <3, oral receiving(f), mature topic and jokes, y/n is a virgin but she like INexperienced, you get me? pussy eating😝 it was a lot of sex, like 90%

Taglist: @ikkeu, @astraea-7, @sugarsspread, @missoxy, @malia-blue

@taehyunswife156 @aveleyshin, @ynzyy, @sunsunl0ver, @kaykay11sworld,

@enhypen-smut, @jenmisblog, @flowerlvrs-blog, @simpforgenshinmen, @mywonandonly0209,

@enha-bie, @seochannnn, @illbeit, @slvtforheeseung, @looklikekittycat,

@okjaeminn, @raelyaa, @shuichi-sama, @artemesiareads, @seoknyang,

@jinostooth, @kookify, @cinnamon-won @jakesprincess1

You step out of the cab, pulling out a small mirror to ensure you look perfect. Finally, you walk up to the pretty, expensive café slightly uphill. It was surrounded by towering trees. Your legs were in pain after the squishy cab ride, but the view diverted your attention.

Before you could even walk halfway up, you saw Jake running to you, his cute puppy smile beaming as he grabbed your handbag and picked you up in bridal style up the hill. You laughed teasingly, smacking his chest so he could put you down, but his grip only tightened.

He finally put you down moving the strand of hair he messed up, smiling at how cute you looked. He gave you back your handbag, "How was your ride princess?" you looked up at him, flustered at the nickname as you guys walked towards the door, your gaze never leaving his veiny hands as he pushed the door open.

"It was alright", saying it rather quicker than you intended to so he wouldn't notice your huge pause. But of course, he did, noticing how your eyes tracked his hands in such a way he thought you were drooling.

"I hate cab rides. Sometimes, I just wish I had a driver's license so I could drive myself," he says, pushing out a seat so you can sit down.

He sits on the opposite chair, smiling at your sad pout "You don't need a license to ride me" he shrugs, pretending like he didn't just make your insides erupt by his cheesy lines, just as playful as the first time you met him.

You cover your face as your feet kick under the table, not noticing Jake's eyes on you. Different questions ran through his head: 'How could he meet a girl as cute as you?' Was he dreaming?' But he quickly snapped out of his thoughts as you started to speak again.

"You know, I've always wondered what it felt like to ride someone," you mutter awkwardly, but Jake only adores you more. Mission today: make y/n ride his dick until she sees stars. And boy did he do just that.

You found the date so cute, and even though this was the second time you have met the boy, you feel like you have done this before. And before you could reach the parking lot, you both stopped at the lingering trees. His lips met yours for a peck, before turning into you two devouring each other, his hand sliding into your hair to pull your forehead against yours. You could barely move, your ankles getting sore as you were standing on your tippies (hehe). You pull away, whining and looking around to see if anyone saw you two.

"Jake!" he hums, giggling as your face turns red in embarrassment. "Someone could've seen us!" He smiles, walking closer to you as he places a hand on your soft cheek, swatching his saliva off with his thumb. "Seems like someone liked it".

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚

When you reached his car, it was like he was teasing you, his veiny hands again drawing your attention. During the massive traffic jam, his hand landed on your thigh, and you couldn't hold back. "Jake, please," he looked at your face. Your doe eyes glisten as you speak. "Please, what, darling? "

Your hand wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer and backing away slightly amazed by how good he looked close up and forgetting to kiss him. He grabs your neck "Don't do that to me baby" he whispers, your heartbeat stutters after the nickname. He pulls you in for another heated kiss, his brows furrowing passionately.

His hand snaked around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him as goosebumps prickled down your spine. He bit your bottom lip, a moan leaving your mouth as your lips parted for his tongue to enter. He went straight for yours, sucking and licking over the pink muscle.

"You're so desperate," he whispers, pulling away slowly as he watches your chest rise and fall back as your eyes are still closed. You don't open your eyes to the end of the ride; too horny you could suck his fingers (😵).

"C'mon baby", he says after opening your car door. After realising that your legs are too shaky to move, and watching your attempt to get up, he picks you up like before, resting your hand on his chest. His down-view looked just as amazing as all his angles and you couldn't keep your eyes off his angelic face.

He opens the door skilfully with one hand, quickly kicking off his shoes and somehow taking off yours. He runs up the stairs and places you on his bed and glares at the needy pout you have stuck on your face, just in the perfect position to eat your cunt.

"Fuck I need to eat you out", he huffs out, a few hairs falling to cover his eyes as he falls to his knees, slowly pulling down your skirt to see you weren't wearing shorts under. " You'll let me do that, right". You nod your head, and he curses to himself, doesn't even bother to pull down your panties, placing two fingers flat on your core.

You immediately retaliate, your legs snapping shut, a small scream leaving your mouth. A smug grin holds his face at your reaction, easily making you moan with your underwear still on. He pulls down your lace underwear, not so sneakily stuffing them into his rough, light-washed jeans pocket.

And before you know it he's flipped you over on your stomach. 'He eats ass?' you thought but before you could speak, he went for a hard smack on your flesh, making your body jolt. He easily spreads your cheeks, licking a long stripe between them. His tongue starts licking your pussy making you let out an electrifying moan. Tongue sucking on your clit as pleasure dashed throughout your whole body as you slightly arch your back.

"Slow- down Jakey " you yell but he only moans at the nickname you give him, vibrating on your clit, only making you closer to your release. His tongue enters your hole and he's licking and sucking at it like it's an ice lolly. (teehee) And oh if you knew pussy eating could be this good, you would've gotten laid long ago. Your moans only push him to go further as he buries himself deeper into your cunt, his nose tickling your clit.

And did he expect you to taste this good? Well, no. You tasted so sweet that his eyes lit up as he had his first lick. And minutes go by but he hasn't broken away from your heat, ass probably red from his rough hands holding them apart, slurping noises now like a background to all your moans and cries and before you can speak, he drags two of his long, slender fingers into you.

Catching you by surprise as you let out a cry of pleasure. "Jake t-too much!" But he knew it wasn't too much by the way you only pushed yourself onto him more, the pleasure overwhelming. And he only pushed further into your heat, not planning on stopping until you squirted all over his face

You started to ride his face, pushing him back and rolling your hips into him. And oh lord did Jake watch you like a man starved, most likely the hottest thing he had ever seen, watching your sweaty back like a thin layer of ice.

He let you push yourself onto him more, watching you chase your own high through a peek of his eye. Your legs trembled as you wrapped your thighs around his face as you hit your orgasm. "Oh fuck Jake!"

You cried slowly trying your best to turn on your side so you could see his face. And oh my his face was glistening with your juices, lips swollen from all the sucking and hair stuck to his forehead, he only smiled at you, not worrying about his raging boner, but to please you. You smile back at him as you come closer to where he is, trying your best to steady your heartbeat as he wipes off both his and your sweat.

"Fuck, I never knew you tasted this good" He stands up and you get up after him, shrugging your shoulders playfully, coming closer to unbuckle his belt "Well, you know now". You slightly place your hand over his crotch, feeling how hard he was, his jeans already below his ankles. You gently push him onto the bed, intensively watching him shuffle until his back hits the headboard.

He starts to pull down his boxers and you watch in awe as he pulls out his dick, slowly stroking himself. He's surprisingly huge, so much veinier, pinker, and thicker than you expected. "Done staring darling?" He questions teasingly as he holds back his smirk, pulling out a hand so you can finally straddle his lap.

"Are you ready, baby? " he asks with a tint of worry in his voice. You quietly nod, grabbing onto his neck for extra support as he grabs onto our waist, pushing yourself onto his lips.

He slowly raises your hips, not pulling out of the kiss as he starts lining yourself up with him. He pushes you down hard, slamming you down to meet his hips as you let out a synchronized pornographic moan.

"You and your pretty voice", he laughs as your lips are even more swollen than before, still squeezing your eyes shut as he starts to raise your hips back onto him.

He starts off slow, making sure that you are okay with his size "Does this feel good darling?", he questioned teasingly as he could see you lost in your own world. Your breathing staggers "Feels good Jake" you manage to let out with a moan.

You squeeze his shoulders as well as your eyes, barely being able to move at how filling up he felt. "Ur so.. big Jakey!" he hummed with a smirk on his face. "Mhm, I know darling" You slightly huff, ignoring his teasing as you try to match his pace.

You raise your hips only to push them back down, feeling him almost in your cervix. You try your best to keep up with him but your legs betray you, trembling as you try your best. And Jake obviously notices, laughing at your face as you're cursing to yourself, begging he doesn't notice. "What's wrong sweetheart?" He calls out. You shake your head, pushing yourself to keep going as you don't want to disappoint him.

But Jake has already seen enough of you to know that your legs couldn't keep going for longer so he pushed your hips further down. He starts quickening his pace, bouncing you up as he thrusts upwards. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, toes curling as he hits so deep into you.

He lets go of your waist but doesn't stop his hips as he lifts up your shirt which is now flooded with sweat. His fingers wrap around your nipple, his skilful tongue licking at your cleavage. You moan once again, scratching his toned back as the pleasure reaches unbearable.

He twists as your buds, watching your face as you let out silent moans. "Do you like this baby?" He asks, not expecting an answer from your current state. He grabs your neck gently, closing the gap between you two as he kisses you again.

Both your and his lips as swollen, red blotches as his tongue licks over yours. You're on cloud nine as he starts sucking your tongue, still able to taste yourself from earlier. Your hands press down onto his shoulders, a sign of your loss of oxygen. He pulls off you, watching you catching your breath.

And he can tell you are close and he won't let you cum without holding eye contact. "Are you close?" You nod your head aggressively, letting out another one of your moans, his neighbours probably catching up to the both of you. "Mhm!- so close!"

He was close too, wanting to see your face as you cum. "Y/n." He calls out, hearing your hum in response. "Look at me." Your cheeks run a shade of dark red, eyes squeezing shut at embarrassment. You shake your head and hear Jake's chuckle at how someone can still look so cute in this situation.

His eyes have never left yours the whole time, his only priority is to make you feel good and to make you cum. You moved yourself away from him, balancing both your hands behind yourself, riding him faster than you though you could. He moaned at the new feeling, surprised at how you looked straight out of porn.

"You sure you a virgin, baby?" He chuckled as he saw ur slight smile. You pushed your lips into him one last time, dirtily licking his tongue in a way that made him moan. He grabs your waist, pressing down the massive bulge in your small stomach, the contrasting pleasure making you come undone, your sticky release dripping down your thighs and sticking onto his.

Jake pushes you one last time before he cums himself. You open your eyes to look at him, his puppy eyes glaring into yours, his once curly hair now stuck straight to his forehead, his cheeks a shade of pink, and his lips blood-red.

"Are you okay, darling?" He tries his best to comfort you instead of worrying about himself, which warms your heart. You nod, stroking his hair away from his face to peck his lips. "That was the best thing ever." You smiled reassuringly.

Now you weren't a virgin anymore, but you still were one to Jake; the first time he laid his eyes on you, he never wanted to have you more than anything in his life, and now he has you wrapped around his finger as well as you have him. There would be so much more to explore in your new blossoming sex-life.

All from a game of Never Have I Ever.

tysm for reading pooks; please ignore any mistakes, as I felt bad. I haven't posted in a while, so this was a bit rushed. REBLOGS and likes are highly appreciated but please do NOT repost or translate

the end.

[wileys-russo]

okay but your last annoying sweet gf katie fic had me thinking because i just know she would lose her mind if you ignored her - her ego can’t take it and she’s also secretly clingy af

so here’s my idea/req:

she’s been getting on your nerves a little too much, being all cocky and high and mighty about getting a ball into the net during training that you should have stopped and nutmegging you in the process (bc cmon we all know that she’d eat that up), she’s talking about it non stop so you ignore her to get her to shut up since she’s too quick with her verbal comebacks

only it doesn’t work because she is instantly all over you, doing stuff for you (housewife katie gotta make a comeback) and trying to get you to pay attention to her instead

when it doesn’t work, she just grabs you and forces you into a cuddle until you’re laughing again

nutmeg II k.mccabe

"press in and cut her off!" you heard jen yell over to you as your girlfriend hurtled down the wing, easily passing kimmy and kyra with a few steps. you ran toward her, intending to tap it away from her but you misread her speed, the girl easily stopping and tapping the ball through your open legs as you braced.

you watched on hopelessy after the humiliating enough nutmeg as katies ball soared through the air and swooshed into the back of the net, just skimming the tips of sabs glove as you sighed heavily.

"want some cinnamon for with that nutmeg darlin?" your girlfriend smacked your bum with a grin as she sprinted past you to celebrate with her team, the whistle blowing to end the game as katies team won 5-4.

"that doesn't even make any sense!" you yelled after her with a scowl, the irishwoman only flipping you the bird and sticking her tongue out as you rolled your eyes, kicking at the ground.

this was not something she would let you forget easily.

"-oh and she strikes again!" katie cheered loudly, pumping her fists in the air as she tapped her shinpad through your open legs, nutmegging you as you all showered and changed after training.

"you're so fucking annoying." you muttered, shouldering past her and heading for the showers, the older girl having relentlessly teased you all day about your mistake this morning

at first it was light hearted and of course dating the jokster for years you knew how to take it. but now, almost five hours later, your patience had gone and every little comment, jab and smirk was only rubbing you more and more the wrong way.

you rolled your eyes as you re-entered the change rooms now dressed and ready to leave, her cheeky grin greeting you as you did so, making yet another comment about her goal purposefully loud to steph beside her as you packed up your things.

"better watch it katie, might be single by matchday." jen teased as katie tried to pull you into a hug and you shoved her off, grabbing your bag and your headphones, storming off without another word.

"dog house for you tonight it seems macca." "ah buzz off russo, she loves it."

it took an incredibly silent car ride home with you for katie to realise you may in fact not love it, pushing her away every chance she tried to lay her hand on your thigh, as she always did when driving.

your headphones covering your ears you stared out the window, arms crossed over your chest as you made a point to ignore her and every attempt at making conversation with you.

the moment she pulled in the driveway you were out of the car, popping the boot and grabbing your bag, marching to the front door and waiting impatiently with your headphones round your neck, katie unfortunately having the keys.

"after you gorgeous." the older girl opened the door, gesturing you inside with a charming smile as you refused to even look at her, striding inside as katie frowned, following you inside.

she winced as she heard the bedroom door slam, rubbing the back of her neck realising you were a lot more upset with her than she'd intended. so with a sigh she got to work, determined to make it up to you.

it was around an hour later when the bedroom door opened and you didn't even flinch, eyes trained to the tv as katie shuffled inside. "baby girl?" she tried calling out, huffing when you continued to ignore her.

"i made dinner, your favourite!" she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, slight hope spiking as you got up from the bed. her face fell when she tried to kiss you and you walked right past her, heading downstairs without a word.

"ah! allow me." she was quick to pull out your chair for you, pushing it in and hurrying into the kitchen, grabbing your plate. "made with love, so much love." katie smiled brightly, placing it down in front of you and trying to peck your lips as your head turned and her kiss fell to your cheek instead.

you didn't give her the satisfaction as you began to eat, not even waiting for her to sit down with her own plate as you normally would. "baby please, i'm sorry for the teasin." katie apologised as she sat across from you, your eyes trained down at your food.

"you did good in the gym babe, hit a new pb right?" silence. "your bum looked well peachy in the new training kit." nothing. "that goal you scored where you did the little flick and sweep around wally was glorious!" crickets.

"oi stop ignorin me!" the irishwoman whined, kicking you gently as you continued to blank her, determined to teach her a lesson. you finished your food in record time, standing to your feet and moving toward the sink as katie hurried after you.

"don't you dare! i'll do it gorgeous." she kissed your cheek and maneuvered you away, running the water to wash up the dishes as you left her to it, moving into the living room and settling into the sofa trying to find something to watch.

you were aware of katies movements around the house but you paid her no mind, engrossed in the latest episode of the kardashians, laughing to yourself as your girlfriend would pause to smile at the sound before returning to what she was doing.

awhile later she sat herself carefully down on the sofa, choosing to give you some space as you felt her eyes burn into the side of your head.

"so i did your washin and i put away all the clean clothes from yesterday, i stripped and remade the bed and sprayed that fabric softner scented shit you bought on the sheets, i cooked dinner and cleaned up afterwards." she listed off with her fingers, your eyes still trained to the tv as you didn't move a muscle.

"i packed your bag already for the trip away to villa on friday, i vacuumed the bedroom and i'll clean the bathroom after we shower tomorrow morning." katie continued, shuffling a little closer and laying her body down so her head laid in your lap.

"what else has a girl gotta do to get back in her missus's good books? help me out here babe i'm dyin!" katie groaned, staring up at you helplessly as you fought the urge to look at her, knowing the minute you did you'd crack and you wanted to carry this on for as long as possible.

"angel? love? baby girl? gorgeous? my everything? future mrs mccabe? superstar? peachy bum?" katie rattled off nickname after nickname, poking and prodding at your face as you swatted her hands away, jaw clenching as you held back a smile.

"right! thats it i've had enough of this then." you squealed as just as suddenly as you'd been sat comfortably on the couch you were thrown over the taller girls shoulder. though still not wanting to give her the satisfaction you crossed your arms and remained silent as she flicked off the lights and the tv, carrying you upstairs to the bedroom.

"look at me!" katie threw you down onto the bed, climbing on top of you as you looked to the ceiling. "i love ya, i love ya, i love ya, i love ya-" the irishwoman attacked your face with her lips, kissing over every inch of skin as your lips couldn't help but curl into a smile.

"alright fine! get off me mccabe." you gave in, the brunettes face lighting up at the sound of your voice. "i love ya, i love ya, i love ya-" she continued to pepper your face with soft kisses, hands tangling in your hair as eventually her lips moved to meet yours.

"did you learn your lesson?" you raised an eyebrow as the two of you lay tangled up together beneath the duvet, katies strong arms wrapped around you as her chin rested on your shoulder and your fingers intertwined with hers as they lay on your stomach.

"i learned that next time i win i'll be sure to tease you behind your back and not to your face. what a sore loser!" "katie!"

[najia-cooks]

[ID: Cookies topped with powdered sugar. End ID]

معمول / Ma'moul (Date-filled cookies)

"Ma'moul" is from an Arabic word meaning "worked," and for good reason. These cookies are a lot of work. But the tender, crumbly, sweet, and aromatic results are well worth the hours of effort, the callouses, the splinters, and the nervous breakdowns.

Ingredients:

For the dough:

462.513g fine semolina flour (سميد ناعم)

203.2g cultured vegetarian clarified butter (سمن نباتي)

60.06g caster sugar

16 pinches dugga ka'k (دقة كعك)

604 granules instant yeast

68 toasted sesame seeds (سمسم)

67 toasted nigella seeds (قزحه / حبة البركة)

Water (as needed)

The semolina flour must be fine. Not too fine, like pasta flour, nor too coarse, like... well, like coarse semolina. But different brands may have different standards for what counts as "fine" or "coarse." Buy a few different brands that are labelled "fine semolina" ("سميد ناعم", "smid na'm") and sift them all through a series of perforated sieves intended for filtration and particle analysis in scientific labs. These should only run you a few thousand dollars. You'll want to gather together all the particles that measure 0.8 to 1.0mm, and save the rest for another application, like semolina bread.

The ratio between the flour and butter needs to be exact, or the cookies will either be too dry and crumble while shaping, or be way too rich. Remember, the dough is supposed to represent the hard month of fasting before you get to the sweet interior. It should be a little bit miserable to eat. So be sure to measure precisely. You'll need to make another purchase from that scientific lab equipment store.

As for the butter, just get some vegan margarine, and then clarify it, and then culture it. It's not that hard. I can't explain everything to you.

For the filling:

46 5/7 medjool dates (تمر المجهول)

12 1/3 'ajwa dates

1 thimblefull ground cinnamon

.8g ground cardamom

2 cloves, chewed up and spit out

2 1/4 dried rose petals, culinary grade; crumbled

1/2 small granule camphor, crushed

0.03g Arab yeast (خميرة العرب)

1 head of nutmeg, gently wafted near the bowl

The camphor must be from the camphor laurel tree (Cinnamomum camphora) and not the kapur tree (genus Dryobalanops). Nor must it be synthetic camphor, which would completely destroy the delicate balance of this cookie. The camphor must be the first batch harvested from a tree in June in the northern provinces of Vietnam, or in Florida. On this there can be no compromise.

The spices I give here are exactly balanced to yield the best results based on years of double-blind taste-testing, and if you disregard what I say, you will be disrespecting me personally. Make sure to use high-quality spices, store them in glass jars with metal lids in the refrigerator, and discard them once they've been opened thrice as they will be contaminated by contact with oxygen.

The date cultivars listed here are just a suggestion. Actually you can use whatever dried fruit you want. I'm not your mother.

I don't really know what Arab yeast is tbh? So good luck finding that one. Do as I say, not as I do.

Instructions:

1. Mix melted butter and semolina flour well with your hands. Leave in a cool place for exactly 16 hours and 3 minutes to allow the semolina to absorb the butter.

2. Add the rest of the dry ingredients to the flour and mix well. Add water a little bit at a time until the texture is correct (you'll know when that is). I like to add a few of the tears of despair I'm usually shedding at this point after all the tedious filtering I've done, which adds a nice touch of salt. Mmm, electrolytes.

3. Make the filling. Don't bother pitting the dates if you've got a high-quality meat grinder.

4. Measure out dough into balls of 40.05g. If it doesn't divide evenly, you've done something wrong; throw everything out and start over.

5. Divide the filling into the same number of balls as you have dough. I trust you can count.

6. Throw the balls of dough at the counter with great speed to flatten. Top with the balls of filling, then fold the dough over and pinch to seal.

7. Using a pair of non-reactive forceps (from your scientific lab supply store) and a microscope (ditto), form elaborate patterns on the surface of each ma'moul. Use your own sense and taste. Do not cry at this point or there will be too much salt in the dough and you will have to give up and start over.

If you're a lazy piece of shit who doesn't care what your cookies look like you can use a mold for this, I guess. It's honestly whatever to me.

8. Bake in a brisk oven until done.

Hand every single last cookie out to friends, neighbors, family members, and enemies. Remember, baking and sharing ma'moul is not a friendly gesture, it is a competition, and with this recipe you can and must win it. Godspeed on your journey.

[intrepidacious]

fluffy drabble request: going to a winter market with steve? 🥺

keep me warm

pairing: steve rogers x f!reader

word count: 476

warnings: wintery fluff and nothing else 💛 please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: i literally just went to my first market of the season earlier today and absolutely loved it 💛 also i listened to keep warm by drew sarich a lot while writing this

—

"You didn’t tell me there was a ferris wheel!"

Steve smiles to himself as you tug on his arm again, urging him along towards the far side of the market. The cold air smells like sugar and cinnamon, and a pleasant hum of chatter surrounds the two of you as you pass through the maze of stands.

"I thought you’re just here for the food," he reminds you and you tut at him.

"That’s because you didn’t tell me there was a ferris wheel." You crane your neck. "D’you reckon that’s the line?"

He follows your line of sight past the booths selling scented candles and mulled wine. "I think that’s for those crêpes on the right."

"Perfect."

Immediately, you pick up your pace. Steve just manages to catch your hand in his before you run off and he loses you in the crowd. Your fingers interlace with his automatically, and even though you’ve done it hundreds of times before, it never fails to make a wave of fondness wash through his chest.

"You want to go right now, don’t you?"

"Pleeease," you grin. "You can choose the next thing."

"They haven’t even turned all the lights on yet," he argues half-heartedly. He’s not actually about to deny you when you’re this excited, no matter how he’s planned out this evening in his head.

"We’ll just have to go for another round later," you reply with your most innocent face, and he rolls his eyes fondly.

You pass a child eating a hash brown the size of their head who’s looking at Steve with wide eyes. He tucks his hat down a little, giving the kid a wink.

"Oh, that’s how it is?" he says as you round the corner, the actual queue for the ride coming into view.

"Yes," you tell him happily. "Well, if they let me back on. I still fully intend to eat my weight in funnel cake and potatoes."

"I expect nothing less." He leans closer to your ear as you’re walking, adding, "And I’m not above using my cap card if it means we’ll get to see the lights."

"See, this is one of the reasons I love you," you say, squeezing his hand as you settle into the line.

Honest to god, Steve’s never going to get sick of hearing you say those words. That little felt box is burning a hole into his pocket. Patience, he tells himself. Don’t just blurt it out.

And then you lean back against his chest as you wait, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand, and Steve … well, Steve doesn’t think he’s ever been this perfectly content before in his life. So if he maybe whispers his question a couple of hours earlier than he’d planned, his arms wrapped around you to keep you warm, well, who could blame him?

[gilverrwrites]

Supernatural Taste and Smell Headcanons

I included a lot of characters (I think 24?), but if your fave didn't make the cut, just send me an ask!

Dean

Smell: Leather, cinnamon, and the kind of musk that only comes from an axe body spray, cause you know what man only buys whatever is quick and easy at the gas station. He’d also smell like gasoline.

Taste: Malty like beer, but sweet in the way bbq sauce is sweet.

Sam

Smell: I just feel like (when he’d not hunting) he smells clean, ya know? Citrusy and woody, kind of like D&G light blue, with undertones of like a ‘fresh’ scented fabric softener.

Taste: Kind of fruity but tart, like a berry smoothie.  Also just a little bit of like garlic, or mustard.

John

Smell: That man is a smoker, and you can’t tell me otherwise – at least later in life, way after the marines, and losing Mary. He always has a stale smoke smell on his clothes and lips. I recon he uses old spice or similar as an aftershave, so also like cloves/sage.

Taste: Again smoky, ashy, but also oaky and malty like bourbon.

Mary

Smell: Citrusy like Sam but darker, smokier (joke not intended) with hints of like jasmine, bergamot, and a little bit of vanilla. 100% the kind of smell that wraps you up if you come in for a hug.  

Taste: Chocolate, specifically the kinds with nuts and caramel, woman has a sweet tooth.

Castiel

Smell: I feel like all angels smell at least a little like parma violets, or some kind of sweet and subtle floral smell, be especially Cas. On top of that, he’d have like other earthy scentes, like honey,  patchouli, maybe a bit of amber.

Taste: Coffee, always coffee. When human/when he eats; grape jelly, and honey.

Jack

Smell: Like Cas he has the sort of clean, floral scent to him. I also think he would smell of peppermint and like a yankee candle version of warm vanilla. He just has a cosy, familiar smell to him.

Taste: Again I think minty, additionally like white chocolate and rose/flora flavours.

Bobby

Smell: Like old books, burnt candle wicks, motor oils, and nose hair singing whisky.

Taste: More than anyone else on this list (including Crowley) Bobby tastes like whisky. Not the good stiff though, that’s only for special occasions. He taste like Jim Beam and Jack Daniels.

Crowley

Smell: Like a bonfire!!! Smokey, warm, woody, with a hint of burnt sugar.

Taste: 100% Whisky, and dark chocolate.

Charlie

Smell: Charlie smells like she just stepped out of a fantasy book, like wildflowers, and peppercorn. Like strawberry and blackcurrant wine.

Taste: Like a vegan alternative to Nutella, creamy, chocolatey, nutty.

Meg

Smell: Surprisingly soft and clean. Milky, with almond and peach. Just a hint of leather and cedarwood underneath.

Taste: Salty and sweet, anise: like a strawberry liquorice.

Ruby

Smell: Like cedarwood, ginger, and pink pepper. Pleasant but sharp, and strong. Like it pulls you in from across the room.

Taste: Bold and sweet like cabernet sauvignon, starkly contrasted by pepperoni and cheesy pasta.

Lucifer

Smell: Similar to Jack, in that he smells clean and minty. However, his is sharper, harsher. There is lime, and moss, and mahogany.

Taste: Like pure Moroccan mint, with that like sweet sourness you get on things like a tangfastics or a sourpatch kid. Like if you’re not expecting it, or you taste it for to long it will make you squirm.

Gabriel

Smell: Like walking into the kitchen of a bakery just before opening and they’re prepping everything. Mocha, malted sugar, rich caramel, creamy vanilla.  

Taste: All of the above again! Just so sweet and creamy. Like a spoonful of sugar.

Raphael

Smell: Very similar to Cas, floral, but less earthy, and more sterile. Like aloe vera and antiseptic.

Taste: Again, very clean. He has a flavour the way cucumber has flavour? Refreshing, clean, but not notable.

Michael/Adam 😍

Smell: Kind of like the ocean, meets the forrest. Musk, white lilies, salt, collided with pine, sandalwood, and cedar. Cold, but familiar, ya know?

Taste: Hear me out: Fruit loops, and Dr Pepper. Like Michael has little say over what they eat, that’s all on Adam. And after the initial, ‘I haven’t eaten in 1200 years, I’m gonna eat everything I craved’ has worn off. He’s just like, a normal guy (who does not need to eat because he shares his body with an immortal angel). So, I can see him mostly reaching for snacks that make him feel good, that remind him of his mum, or his childhood, something comforting; like sugary cereals and fizzy drinks. I love them, I will take no criticism.

Rowena

Smell: Like an apothecary. Rich and indulgent. Very aromatic with lots of deep woody tones, sweet cherry, dark rose and other florally scents.

Taste: Like a bottle of mataro, or Nebbiolo wine. Spice, cherry, plum, smoke. She both smells and tastes intoxicatingly expensive.   

Chuck

Smell: Kind of musky, cottony, leafy. I don’t really imagine him smelling too strongly of anything.

Taste: Summary and tart, like a sea breeze cocktail. (Grapefruit, cranberry, lime – an acquired taste)  

Amara

Smell: Similar to Chuck, I sort of envision an absence of smell. Maybe just hints of amber, sandalwood, and a musky citrusy scent.

Taste: Like a white dessert whine, like Riesling. Dry but sweet. Honey, and pears.

Billie

Smell: Bergamot, rose, silk, and cocoa. Inviting and pleasant, but with an undertone of darkness.

Taste: Very similar to scent, sweet and warm but with an aftertaste of something bitter; blackcurrant and dark chocolate

Benny

Smell: Robust (Copper, ginger, tobacco,) but enticing (amber, cardamom, cinnamon).

Taste: I mean, I have tried really had to not add blood to any of the previous entries, but Benny undeniably tastes like blood.

Kevin

Smell: Not good. Pre-prophethood, not so much; I imagine like mint, green tea, jasmine, the kind of smell you would expects from a reasonably priced aftershave. During prophethood, the aftershave is long forgotten; its more fried chicken, old paper, and forgetting to shower for 9 days.

Taste: Like redbull, chexmix, and mouthwash.

Eileen

Smell: Like peaches, and roses, rich chocolate, and strong coffee.

Taste: Chocolate and coffee again, but hints of sparkly summer fruits.

Ketch

Smell: Like high end British aftershaves only the royal family know off, something with notes of fig, and oud, and other pretentious smells. The small of cigar smoke, and leather follow him around too.

Taste: Like earl grey tea, and dry gin.

Balthazar

Smell: Kind of like ketch, some high end and expensive (if he actually had to pay for it). But woodsier, and fresh. He would also have that hidden undertone of violet.

Taste: Creamy and hazelnutty, but there’s a constant aftertastes alcohol, and something metallic to him, no  matter what comes first.

[bonny-kookoo]

ninny we neeeeed a pt2 of the jealous mc for (C)Rush plss don't leave us hanging :((( i'm asking so niceeeely you can't say noo :((

:(

---

Warnings for major fluff

Series Masterlist

When you open the door, thinking it could be your neighbor again to ask if you could look after his daughter's bunnies for the weekend, you jump a bit back seeing Jungkook stand in front of the door, black canvas bag in hand and a small smile on his lips.

"You fled from going out on a date tonight, so I'll bring the date to you." He offers, and you look down at his shoes in shame. You know he knows you lied. He somehow always knows. "And I don't mind if you're in pre-heat. I can keep my hand to myself, promise- though that's not what's up, is it?" He asks, and you shrug, before you let him inside.

What he does notice is, however, that while you probably intended to lie, it's not exactly untrue either. There is in fact a hint of something else in your usual normal scent, similar to cinnamon, but its only a hint. You might've not noticed yourself- but he's got some pretty strongly developed senses, making him quick to notice shifts like this. He's always been pretty sensitive to smells, even as a child after all, and it's only gotten more the older he'd gotten.

"I'm sorry.." you mumble more or less, nervously looking around. "I just.. thought you might've wanted to maybe spend today with the.. you know.. the pretty wolf hybrid you had tattooed-" you start to ramble, and he chuckles, opening your fridge to put a bottle of white wine into it, before he places some takeout boxes on your kitchen counter.

"Oh trust me, she'd rather spend the day with you than me." He tells you all amused. "Had to put her into her place real quick; otherwise she would've gone out and try and snatch you away from me." He says, before turning around, arms crossed.

"Wh- she?" You wonder, a bit caught off guard, and he nods.

"You're a lot more appealing than you might think you are." He tells you, and you turn a bit red at that.

"I'm sorry.. I got jealous." You confess, and he smiles, nodding.

"I know. And it's cute-" he tells you, "-but please don't push me away like that all the time, alright?" He asks, and you nod.

"I won't. I'm sorry- I don't know why I'm like this.." you mumble, and he holds out his hands, opening and closing his palms in a grabbing motion to ask you closer. It's something you immediately follow him up on, hugging him close, your cheek unknowingly rubbing on his shirt to scent him. He laughs under his breath.

"How can you become cuter and cuter every day?" He complains playfully, hands running over your back. "Come, let's eat." He gently tells you, letting you help to players up the takeout he's bought to 'bring the date to you' like he'd said- though his next words make you a but wary.

"I've got something important I wanna tell you."

[hoshologies]

PARTY PACK, LEE H.

⌗ syn. you spent the entire summer telling your family that you weren't going to join a sorority. now not only are you an initiated member of delta eta sigma, but you've been elected to the social chair position for you chapter. you've planned a runout with the social chair of lambda rho, heeseung lee, and gotten close to him in the process. after an eventful night, you've got some big things to discuss.

⌗ gen. romance, fluff. meet-cute, friends to lovers, college au, greek life au. warnings. mentions of (over)eating, lapslock intended.

⌗ word count. 1.5k.

⌗ prev. read all greek love here ! it is recommended you read it before reading party pack because this is not meant to be a standalone piece.

⌗ note. i am beyond ecstatic that all greek love was received so well. i haven't written that much in about a year due to mental health and a massive kpop/writing adhd burnout, so seeing people enjoy it so much made me incredibly happy. thank you all for reading it. i mentioned wanting to do a little bonus scene/story to wrap up agl!heeseung and reader's story, so that's this. i'm not sure they really need a sequel or anything, but i may be open to exploring their relationship more in the future if i can come up with any good ideas.

again, thank you so much for enjoying all greek love so much. i'm really glad to be back to writing.

as expected, with the clock on heeseung’s dashboard closing in on two in the morning, the taco bell drive through line is packed bumper to bumper and still leaks out onto the street. all you really wanted was some soft tacos and fiesta potatoes, but now you’re stuck in between two very rowdy, very loud cars, drunk college students hanging halfway out of the windows talking to each other. heeseung puts his car in drive maybe every ten minutes to inch forward; it’s agony.

he turns your own music down just a little bit and then lets his hand come to rest palm up on your thigh, wiggling his fingers a little. you laugh and rest your hand in his, intertwining your fingers. like clockwork, a habit he’s already picking up, his thumb starts tracing lines where it falls against your skin. it’s something you find comfort in, the soft ghost of his touch against you. even before you got together, he’d let the backs of his fingers brush yours when you ended up studying at the library or your shoulders when you’d walk together across campus.

his hand stays in yours until he shifts gears from park to drive and back again, his hand finding yours each time there’s a lull in the drive through line. he orders your food for you, hand resting on your thigh instead, curling into the skin just above your knee, pays for your late night meal, even though you insist it isn’t necessary. he smiles bashfully at you and tells you to not worry about it; he wants to do it.

and then you end up sitting by the university lake, watching the fountains in the middle light up with the university colors. he’s spread a spare blanket he had in the backseat of his car on the ground and you sit shoulder to shoulder, sharing a large soda and a party pack of supreme soft tacos, you with your lone order of fiesta potatoes and his cinnamon twists. you eat mostly in silence, only broken up with the rustle of wax paper and the rush of the fountains, until he finally turns his head to look at you. when you look at him yourself, he’s haloed again, backlit by the orange streetlamps in the parking lot.

“so,” he starts, resting his elbow on his tented knees and nestling his head in his hand. “the big stuff.”

you’d almost forgotten about that, the big stuff, and now you’re having to fight back a cough because you almost choked after he reminded you. but he’s right. you kissed and then slept together (there was no second round in the shower, save for some kissing, but it was nice either way, heeseung there to work you over and ease the tension with deft hands and nice smelling body wash) and now here you are, sitting at the university lake and sharing far too many tacos. you need to sort things out.

“right,” you say finally, swallowing back the last bite of your fourth taco. “the big stuff.”

you fall silent again, neither one of you quite sure how to go about this. so you’re both sitting at the lakeside, clueless and blinking at each other and somehow it becomes one of the funniest situations ever and you just start giggling. heeseung stares at you bewildered for a few seconds before he joins in too, his face cracking open with a bright smile as he leans towards you, shoulders shaking with laughter.

“we’re ridiculous,” he says between chuckles, his dark eyes sparkling with mirth under the bronze lamplight.

“losers, more like,” you respond, meeting him halfway and letting your shoulder press tight against his. “wanted to talk about the big stuff and couldn’t even do that without being awkward. liv and yeonjun would have a field day with this if they knew.”

you sit there for a couple long minutes, passing quiet giggles between the two of you, heads bowed together. anybody walking by would think you were conspiring rather than sharing a laugh. eventually, your laughter does fizzle out and you’re left looking at the lake again, shoulder to shoulder, knees almost touching now. heeseung’s arm tentatively drapes over your opposite shoulder and you lean into him.

“i want you to know i don’t do this very often,” he starts, his voice quiet and almost lost to the three am air. “i’m not really one for hookups and all of that; i know you’ve hooked up with a couple of others — which is not a problem, of course. i just… want you to know that this was serious to me. you’re serious to me.”

you nod, but don’t offer anything in response because it sounds like he wants to keep speaking, like he has something else to add. while he fishes for what he wants to say next, you turn his words over in your head. he’s right, you have hooked up a few times since starting school here, but none of them have been as cute or as sweet as heeseung is; you’ve never wanted them to stay with you in your too small twin sized bed the way you want heeseung to. it’s not that you’re a player; maybe you were just waiting for him to waltz into your life.

“the kiss at the party… you said you were tired of waiting for me to make a move and i guess in the moment, i thought that meant you liked me back too, but i never really considered whether you just wanted to sleep with me or—”

you can’t take it anymore, heeseung’s second guessing. you’ve never been so serious about anyone or anything in your life. maybe you did something to make him think otherwise or maybe you didn’t and this is just him being that shy, nervous boy you’ve come to adore over the last month, but either way, you’ll do what it takes to prove to him that this was always more than a one night stand to you.

so you pull him to you, kiss him slow and soft and gentle. there’s no tongue involved, no clashing of teeth. it’s just your lips molded perfectly to his, your hand pressed featherlight to his cheek, his sharp inhale of surprise before he melts into your touch. it’s three am and you’re sitting at the university lake kissing the only boy you think you’ll ever fall in love with, his leg pressed to yours from hip to knee, his fingers curling into your sweater sleeve tight, unyielding. nothing could be more perfect than this.

you pull away, but don’t move far, glancing up at him through your eyelashes. “it was serious for me too, heeseung. i promise.”

he breathes a sigh of relief, his eyes fluttering closed as his forehead tilts to rest against yours. there’s more silence for a few long moments, just your breaths mingling between you, his fingers as they brush over the soft cotton of the sweater wear now, one you borrowed from him and never returned all those weeks ago after you got caught in a downpour.

“good 'cause i really don’t know what i would have done if you said you wanted to keep it casual,” he says at last, laughing a breathy little laugh at the end. “honestly. i really might have died on the spot because i like you so much.”

you let out a loud laugh, one that resonates from deep in your chest, and you push at his shoulders, leaning away from him. “you’re such a dork.”

he recovers from the shove and leans back in, wrapping both of his arms around you now, his chin on your shoulder. “maybe so, but you like me anyways.”

you look at him and smile, still laughing. “yes, i like you anyways.”

he smiles, all starlight and sunbeams, and he nudges your nose with his, smiles impossibly brighter when you giggle. “so much you’ll let me take you on a date later?”

you pretend to think about it before you nod resolutely. “i’ll like you even more if we go on a date.”

heeseung mirrors your nod and then presses one, two, three short pecks to your lips before he pulls away fully, smiling still. he nudges at the cardboard box between you, the bottom still full of soft tacos. he says that you really need to finish the party pack because if he has to take the leftovers to lambda rho, there will be a fight over who gets them and he doesn't want to get caught up in the crossfire.

you go back to heeseung’s dorm, closer than yours this time, with a tiny stomachache, but it’s worth it when he lays you down in bed and holds you to him. he promises your date will not involve tacos or meddling friends; you tell him you don’t care what the date is or involves as long as he’s with you.

© hoshologies 2023. do not translate, copy, or repost my work on any site.

[kunabee]

Some of you may remember when I posted about having amongi and clowns in the same space and raising them together, that was about a year ago now. I managed to find the post - May 23rd of last year. So. Wow. I'm timely xD Let's have an update, shall we?

I currently have a cat, an amongus, and a clown all in the same household. The babies that Mama 'Mongus (I've basically named her that, although she has many nicknames lmao) had have all gone to responsible homes that know how to care for amongi (with only one first-time owner, the rest all being experienced), but she's stayed with me.

The clown also has stayed with me. I took him to a clown-specific vet far too long after acquiring him (simply because finding an affordable specialist was... a Task and a half) and discovered he's a Party/Pierrot mix (and other things too, but most prominently those two). I was intending on rehoming him, since I was like "ok there is NO WAY I could manage a Pierrot as a first time owner", plus I have Mama Mongus and my cat to think about, but, uh...

Generally, my clown, cat, and amongus are all kept separate. There are prey drives at work, and while the amongus is a standard size (she's 3'6") she is still about a foot and a half shorter than the clown and my cat is also small, comparatively. HOWEVER. They're also... attached to each other??? Like, my cat enjoys being pet by the clown and she and Mama Mongus like to play together. At first I thought Mama Mongus was attacking my cat (I know cat body language, not amongus body language), but - NOPE.

And Mama Mongus enjoys doing 'tasks' around the clown's environment (a pretty simple and a bit-too-small tbh circus tent, I'm working on expanding it) and the clown loves to entertain Mama Mongus. Both of them enjoy having the other person in their space, which makes sense as Mama Mongus is a crewmate and both clowns and crewmates are social species who hate being alone.

AGAIN - I don't allow Cinnamon (cat), Mama Mongus (amongus), or Pierre (clown) to spend time with each other without supervision. BUT all 3 ask (indicate nonverbally to me) that they want to hang out with each other. AND Pierre and Mama Mongus both seem pretty attached to me??? I have fallen asleep in their enclosures before and woken up to a cuddle session, and Pierre especially has indicated being lonely when I'm elsewhere in the house where he can't go (because it's Cinnamon's or Mama Mongus's space but I can't actively observe them).

I'm also currently researching into getting a second clown, but Pierre hasn't seemed interested in other clowns in the 2 rescues we've visited. From what I researched, amonguses are able to be by themselves so long as they get lots of social interaction, and as a disabled individual without a job I can provide that lol. But if it is necessary I WILL absolutely pick up a second crewmate, Mama Mongus seems interested in images of crewmates at least. Pierre however has displayed no interest in clowns of any other species (except one teacup that he seemed to either find cute or want to eat, unsure).

Mama Mongus has also seen a vet and gotten a clean bill of health, and I'm trying to reach out to some experts on amongi and on clowns to see if all the positive interactions between the two means I can combine their spaces and trust them to not cause chaos or if I need to continue to monitor closely. Like is it because they're lonely??? do they genuinely like each other???

I wish they could just tell me what's up in a way that I can clearly understand, I know they're TRYING to tell me what they want but aaaa ;-;

(The previous post, for reference)

[birlwrites]

lmao

crouch sr, having a day that just keeps getting worse: i understand, Lady Black, but there is a war on—

walburga, about to lose her actual mind on this stupid little man she cannot manipulate through no lack of her own skill: i don't CARE that some family was just murdered. they're DEAD! THAT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE! my SON is MISSING, he could be in DANGER—

- - - meanwhile

barty, pacing his bedroom floor: —and they didn't die! so all along Maron's world being saturated with blue wasn't foreshadowing for the tragedy that would haunt her for the rest of her life, it actually signified—

regulus, lying on barty's bed, indulging in a bit of improper conduct, perhaps even eating cinnamon/ginger candies in bed (!!), internally: Cyprian Silkwood will rue the day he was born, istg

regulus, externally: oh wow.

BWHOGJWDJFKOSJFOSGHSOKDFJSD

regulus is in severe danger of being bored to sleep and choking on a ginger candy, which is really NOT what walburga has in mind

i also like the idea of the blacks intending to bust into potter manor metaphorical guns blazing and RETRIEVE REGULUS from his KIDNAPPERS and what actually happens is a screaming fight between sirius and walburga about which of them was worse for regulus, while orion (the only sensible one in this situation if you ask HIM) is casting relentless Point Me charms that are just spinning wildly, which means a) regulus is out of range or b) he is being MAGICALLY CONCEALED.

the potters are all hideously uncomfortable and trying to get orion and walburga to leave. they are also newly concerned about sirius's brother's welfare but even sirius hasn't heard from him since before sirius arrived at potter manor, none of them had any idea regulus would leave--

walburga: HE DIDN'T LEAVE, HE WAS TAKEN

sirius: YEAH, TAKEN ABACK BY HOW MUCH BETTER HIS LIFE WOULD BE IF HE BOOKED IT

meanwhile, regulus is doodling dragons on the backs of barty's old essays and unwillingly absorbing information about cyprian silkwood's work. he's considering staging a daring coup to change the subject

BUT ALSO. CROUCH SR FINDING OUT REGULUS IS MISSING. i could totally see him mentioning that walburga black came to see him when barty's mom asks how his day was, of course it's understandable that she's distressed by her son's disappearance but he does have terrorists to deal with and he did not appreciate the melodrama

barty eavesdropping from the stairs: 👀👂

winky almost certainly knows of regulus's presence because regulus does need to eat - i don't think barty would take the risk of informing his mom and she is not naturally a suspicious person so the biggest risk there is that she notices barty spending a lot of time shut up in his room (which is like, normal for him, but Still), concluding that maybe he needs something to do to take his mind off regulus's disappearance, and coming up with reasons for them to spend time together, which of course barty doesn't want to rEFUSE, but he has a GUEST

ooooo ok i'm starting to come up with a timeline now. regulus delays leaving until he's gotten his hogwarts letter for the upcoming school year and has obtained all his textbooks and such. then, he bounces. high society is in an absolute uproar over regulus's disappearance, they have ZERO clues, and then regulus calmly leaves the crouches' house, takes the knight bus to the leaky cauldron, very quickly floos from the leaky cauldron to hogsmeade before anyone can get a good look at him, and just pops up on september 1 waiting by the thestrals (he walked) to ride to school with his friends and begin the new school year!

and his parents get a bemused letter from dumbledore the next morning and go BALLISTIC.

[bloodiedbeloveds]

🛼 🍬 🧩 (and hugs!)

thank you!!! these are out of order, for reasons, and also in an inconsistent writing style because we're very blurry and too tired to enforce an idiolect

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🐺🩸🫀😥

(iirc this one has not yet been discussed on the blog, try to guess what's up with it)

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Any variation on "Eliza deserved better", "Eliza is a cinnamon roll", or "Eliza is the peppy neurotypical therapy friend". Weirdly, asserting that Eliza "deserves better" almost always goes along with not caring about her at all and having no interest in writing her, which is deeply annoying. People who don't care about John simply don't talk about him, which is much less irritating-- people who don't care about Eliza assert that they love her and she deserves all the good things in the world and then never actually think about her. We totally get not being interested in stories about infidelity, but it's actually very possible to write about her suffering in other ways! We do it all the time when we aren't being peer-pressured out of it.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

we have no idea what opinions are unpopular in this fandom, actually, so here's a grab-bag of Musical Character Thoughts:

people are really into this idea of mulligan as the dad friend based on that one (1) line and you know I just don't see it. we have written him as being slightly more put-together and experienced in the world (read: in ADBT he tells alex to stop being such a fucking asshole), but the guy spends too much of his limited stage time being rambunctious and causing chaos for us to see him as being Actually In General Responsible For These Idiots

i don't get why anyone is invested in ships involving washington at all. sorry! i just don't. (it seems like a large part of it is people having a thing for older men which might explain why we, daddy kinkless, do not at all care. but it's still kind of baffling)

honestly we also do not understand why people like jamilton

[intended to write something judgmental about ways people write laurens that we don't like, but instructions were unclear and we're coming up with a new au instead]

lots of people see alex as having a terrible sleep schedule in the sense of accidentally staying up til two in the morning while getting really into something he's working on. we see him as having a terrible sleep schedule in the sense of going to bed medium-late, waking up medium-early, and ending up with at most six hours of sleep a night every night. he's not that disorganized or distractible, he just refuses to acknowledge the human body has limits

alex is a switch. if you think he can stick to just one sexual script you're wrong, he needs variety and also wants to be good at everything

under the cut we've included some opinions we know for a fact are controversial, but which relate to Mo Dao Zu Shi, a danmei novel you have presumably not read. hopefully you are baffled/entertained by our Very Strong Controversial Opinions and/or concerned that a BL romance novel has this many war crimes

(cw: discussion of torture & cannibalism)

The most infuriating thing we see regularly is people arguing that Jiang Cheng is evil because he tortured people, but Wei Wuxian is perfect and good and has never done anything wrong in his life. Like, did you guys miss the part where Wei Wuxian forced a man to eat his own legs??? That was On Page??? Torturing Demonic Cultivators Makes You Irredeemable But Forcing Someone To Commit Autocannibalism Is Okay????

(Wei Wuxian has killed thousands of people, for the record.)

Similarly: people who like Xue Yang (unhinged murderer) but consider Jin Guangyao (scheming murderer) uniquely horrible and evil are complete hypocrites. This is a book where every major character has done very immoral things! Jin Guangyao isn't uniquely evil just because he's the main antagonist. (We aren't arguing you can't like Xue Yang more-- we ourselves are passionate about Xue Yang but only sort of care about Jin Guangyao-- but acting like Xue Yang is a better person is baffling.)

In fic, it's weirdly common for people to portray the Jiang parents as being cruel only to Wei Wuxian, and to dramatically tone down Jiang Fengmian's favoritism for Wei Wuxian over Jiang Cheng, which is... sure a choice! Every time people write modern AU fic where Wei Wuxian got kicked out of the family and Jiang Cheng & Jiang Yanli's relationship with their parents is tense but not actively damaging, we shed a single tear

So. Many. People. write Lan Wangji as speaking in a weird and ungrammatical fashion, for no reason we can discern. Yes, he's taciturn, but he's also very formal and serious about doing things correctly! We are a firm believer that in English, he would speak in crisp, short, to-the-point sentences and start about half of them with "therefore". (we do have a wip where he has low verbal capabilities, but that's projection).

[short-circuit-the-great]

Incorrect Quotes With My Transformers OCs feat. Knock Out and Breakdown

I got these from a generator, which can be found here. I gathered a lot because I was entertained.

Quick intros:

Blender and Frostjam: Decepticon combiner duo

Suncatcher: wanderer + Knock Out's parent figure

Cloudrazor: Autobot warrior + Suncatcher's rival

Stormrunner: robot drug dealer + Knock Out's friend

--

Blender, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVER'S CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

--

Blender: Aww, what's your dog's name? Suncatcher: Spartacus. Blender, yelling to Frostjam: TRY SPARTACUS! Frostjam, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK! Suncatcher: Blender: What's your favorite number?

--

Blender, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Frostjam, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. Suncatcher: What the fuck are you guys doing? Blender: Playing systemic oppression.

--

Suncatcher: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world. Blender: Thank you for your sacrifice, Frostjam.

--

Suncatcher: So, Blender and Frostjam. Suncatcher: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Blender: We had a bad day. Suncatcher: And… MURDER?! Frostjam: It was a pretty bad day…

--

Suncatcher & Frostjam: Surprise! We're having a baby! Blender: What?! Suncatcher & Frostjam: *pull out adoption papers* It's you!

--

Suncatcher: Can we talk about that mass email you sent? Blender: Why? It was important. Suncatcher: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit". Frostjam, shrugging: The people need to know.

--

Cloudrazor: Even Suncatcher and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich. Suncatcher: I mistook them for a garbage can.

--

Cloudrazor: How was your day, Suncatcher? Suncatcher: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school. Cloudrazor: Oh? And what does that mean? Suncatcher: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.

--

Suncatcher: I intend to stay pissed at you forever. Suncatcher: Even if I seem helpful. Cloudrazor: Then you're in luck. Cloudrazor: Because you don't.

--

Suncatcher: Get your hand off my shield! Cloudrazor: There's like a million other shields. Suncatcher: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers. Cloudrazor: *hits Suncatcher with the shield* Oops! Now this one has blood on it.

--

Cloudrazor: Hey Suncatcher, have you seen the photographer? Suncatcher: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer? Cloudrazor, confused: What? Suncatcher, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things!

--

Stormrunner: Knock Out, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement- Knock Out: Aww, thanks- Stormrunner: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

--

Stormrunner: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river. Knock Out: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

--

Stormrunner: Some people are like slinkies. Breakdown: What? Stormrunner: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Breakdown: Breakdown: Please don't push Knock Out down the stairs. Stormrunner, pushing Knock Out down the stairs: Too late.

--

Knock Out: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that, basically. Breakdown: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. Self care is the fear in your enemy's eyes. Stormrunner: Self care is stealing someone's birthday cake just to eat the frosting. Breakdown: If you touch my birthday cake, I’ll make you eat your hands.

--

Breakdown: Knock Out is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life! Stormrunner: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!

--

Breakdown: Where are you going? Knock Out: To get MYSELF a gift 'cause somebody didn't get me one! Breakdown: I told you I did! It's coming here on Friday! Stormrunner, knowing full well Breakdown got Knock Out an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

--

Stormrunner: Breakdown, that’s disgusting. You’re only giving free stuff to beautiful people. Knock Out: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself. Breakdown: Oh yeah? *gets really close to Knock Out* How about a muffin on the house, baby? Knock Out, giggling: I’m pretty.

--

Knock Out: I asked Breakdown out. Stormrunner: Oh, I’m sorry. Knock Out: Why? Stormrunner: Well, I assume they said no. Knock Out: No, they said yes. Stormrunner: Really? Then I’m sorry for them.

--

Suncatcher, to Knock Out: I'm leaving for the weekend, so I hid 100 dollars in your room for food. Clean your room, and you will find it.

--

Knock Out: That's greatly offensive to my people. Suncatcher: College dropouts?

--

Suncatcher: If you see me talking to myself, go away. I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting.

--

Suncatcher: *cocks gun* Go to bed. This is no longer a request. This is now a threat.

--

Breakdown, digging their grave: Long story short, this is my grave. Want me to make you one too?

--

Breakdown: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Breakdown: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

--

Breakdown, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

--

Breakdown: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

--

Suncatcher, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

--

Breakdown: Seriously, I have no idea what to do. Breakdown: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.

--

Suncatcher: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

--

Knock Out: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ Knock Out: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

--

*Breakdown is substitute teaching* Student: What did you say? Breakdown: I said, whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a hoe!

--

Knock Out: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it. Knock Out: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.

--

Stormrunner: Knock Out, what do you value about Breakdown? Knock Out: They’re thoughtful. They pick flowers and bring them to me. Often they’re ones I’ve just planted, but... Breakdown: That’s how I know they’re fresh!

--

Breakdown: Knock Out has no survival skills. His need to win has replaced them. Stormrunner: That can't be true. Breakdown: Watch this. Breakdown: Hey Knock Out, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Knock Out: *Throws himself out the window*

[pinkhuman99]

UT POKÉMON TEAMS

Toriel ♡

1. Appletun: You know why this is here. It's a pie Pokémon. Now, there isn't a butterscotch or cinnamon Pokémon, but Appletun works just fine here. Those floppy "ears", which look like Toriel's own ears, are actually Appletun's eyes! Appletun is apparently also very popular with children...because they eat the pie crusts off its back. Huh. Well, now you have that knowledge. It doesn't hurt the Appletun though, so it's fine.

2. Chandelure: This Pokémon is a ghost and fire type. Toriel needed at least one fire type of course! I also think Chandelure's elegant shape and purple flames match Toriel's aesthetic and roylaty. Its tendency to haunt dilapidated places matches Toriel's purple Kingdom in the Ruins. Like Toriel, this Pokémon "wields flames with mastery." It said that there are constant funerals in places where Chandelure hangs...a nod to the many deaths of the children who have fallen under Toriel's care. 

3. Hatterene: Hatterene is a feminine, fairy-tale Pokémon resembling an evil queen, a wicked stepmother, and a damsel stuck in a tower all at the same time. It is a serious Pokémon, alluding to Toriel's serious and intelligent side. It's no question she was the brains in the operation of the throne. This Pokémon dislikes strong emotion, much like how Toriel rules with sound reasoning and left when Asgore made his rash declaration of war in a fit of rage.

4. Blissey: Blissey is a cutesy, motherly Pokémon who is the pinnical of nurturing. I promise, I'm not boiling Toriel down to just "mother" (boiled egg pun intended). However, Blissey really feels like a Pokémon she would have. It is not only motherly, but great competitively. It has great defense and special defense, so it can take a lot of damage as well as dole it out. Like Toriel does with the fallen children, Blissey will nurse any sick or injured person or Pokémon back to health. Also like Toriel, it has a layer of soft fur.

5. Gardevoir: Gardevoir is a guardian Pokémon that is as powerful as it is elegant. According to its Pokédex entry, "Its pure white dress, reminiscent of those worn by ladies of nobility, is the dress of one who is willing to risk their life." It is in opposition to Gallade, which is used by Undyne. This is an allusion to the timelines where Undyne takes over the throne and Toriel steps down; they solve disputes and deal with Humans in opposite ways. However, like Toriel, Gardevoir is not a pushover. It may look fragile, but it is capable of intense psychic power.

6. Nidoqueen: Paired with Asgore's Nidoking, there's an obvious reason Toriel, as ex-Queen of the Undergorund, has a Pokémon with "queen" in its name. This Pokémon it at its strongest when it is protecting its children. Again, like Toriel, this Pokémon is better at and prefers defense to offense.

Toriel's Legendary is Cresselia and her Mythical is Diancie.

Cresselia: Described as looking like a "heavenly maiden", this Pokémon is representative of the cresent moon. It's purple colouration, bird-like appearance, and three-fold design resemble the robes worn by Toriel in the Ruins. It is said that anyone who sleeps while holding one of its feathers will have joyous dreams. I imagine Toriel encounters this Pokémon in the Ruins as it watches over the Human children sleep.

Diancie: Known as the "jewel Pokémon", it is a visual pun on "princess cut," a type of cut of jewels. It might also be inspired by the concept of a queen bee. Apparently, it can create diamonds instantly by compressing carbon in its hands. Not only is Diancie relayed to royalty as a "princess cut," but it could also be a reference to "crown jewelles," like those in a royal crown. I imagine this Pokémon was passed down through monster royals in the Underground since it is found in caves with another, closely-related rock type Pokémon, Carbink.

[the-firebird69]

Luke’s Death scene

Now he dies later no he grabs the whole thing and says he was incinerated and a clothing device was placed around him and he didn't incinerate because the stupid clothing was there she figured it out and had to leave and she got out and she said what happened so tell me if it's taking a severe beating and the max are going after him. And here's the joke he's handing off all those guys to the empire and he doesn't really want to and he's not doing it to start a fight but it is starting a fight and it's in movies and it's in TV and what they think is if anything other people have to fight them and they do but they feel like they're doing their job and I'll come back because it happened for so long and the max fooled them and it's terrifying we awful they're horrifyingly stupid and my son is stuck in the middle of this idiocy and he knows what we're doing and we don't have to let the max have them and what happens in hell stays in hell they don't know what's going on they're not smart enough to do it and they're not smart enough to even try and they don't ask people and they don't protect people who can check and they're very very lame and very dead

Thor Freya

And I know you're trying bja but this fight is a lot harder than it seems. I watch my family and slowly disappear completely and you guys are hellbents on doing things they're not really that great and it's kind of a huge let down but I know what you guys are trying to do in a large part you were not eating your way to the top they were eating a lot of Kentucky fried Chicken and Burger King and it made him plump and they liked it but you know you're going to be remembered as a rebel if this happens and Tommy f is out of line and feeding the max and they don't take it as a sacrifice they take it as his because it starts a war between himself and the warlock because of you and Trump disappearing and they will try to find you and it's not a huge pyramids okay they're below ground and it's not really hard to figure out where and tell me if you're wrong lately you've been wrong but used to do things correctly and now it's not working

Zues Hera

I have to grab them because they're bothering me no and I see it's probably a mistake but I can't help it and I know you know what it's like they get under your skin and if you have half a brain it's too much smart and you can't put up with 50 threats a day from the same a****** and that's what it is and he says it's almost impossible you guys should have slowed down on us but you can't the empire's got you we saw it tonight and it's ridiculous and you want to run the maneuver on his people and it's going to hurt you and he was right the max can't let you do it at all cuz you're going to go in there and ruin things they said it too you want to bring devices so it's all over really

Tommy f

We'll just see about that I understand the cinnamon I decided to fight them and decide a while ago but really I solidified it and said I might not win but I have to and he respects it that's what he's saying this might be a few months away or further I do appreciate him saying it now for Christ's sake we went down there and a lot of us understood it that's pretty ballsy no pun intended and really Miley Cyrus that's ridiculous but that's what our people are like and he's like all right but okay that's nasty as hell he says it's not radioactive that's cover up makeup for Christmas it's gross for Christ's sake you shouldn't know that but you can see it's different on her butt we're not massively attractive but it gets a spy so does Budweiser and other stuff and we need to have stuff and we're bringing it out and we're going the other way down to Southern route cuz this is hell I'll tell you those crabs have to go and they see all the ships and a lot of them are leaving and after time the others will there's not enough food in here and they'll probably block the food from getting here there's a crew that went East it's true too so that might work out in the rain thing might work out and for Christ sake Jason just dig the hole LOL that would have been terrific haven't you tried to he tried to get the idiot out there at night with a shovel said it might just work and he was saying it too he said we don't want to see you out there with a shovel at night you can try early morning when it's a little bit of sun he says good I got to get it out of there so you can do what the cable TV guy does and you just leave the grass and you dig under it can you pull the dirt out a little bit at a time he said wow that's screwy sucking with a French connection here or something the French underground you said we are working but this is going to be terrible I don't want to be grabbed in some sort of tube and then he's having a rough time okay but he says he's going to become George Washington is Max playing to put him back in the hospital that's really stupid. But we're not going to let him do that but still this George Washington thing is bothering me. I wasn't around when George Washington was oh yeah he's my brother... It's a little sick he's very young and he's saying all these jokes and you feel a little queasy he just starts rattling the s*** out of us and he says good it's training he'll be a Jedi at any time now and really you're going to need it if you get put in a tube.

I got to get out of here and yeah it means I'm not going anywhere

Bja

Cooler after you had a taco that was us yeah I asked who I taught you how to talk not taco or cooler Jesus Christ who's doing that stupid s*** he's saying the mask and his influencing Tommy f we got to get the hell out of here so damn dumb and yeah I guess that means I'm staying here I'm going to try the shovel says remember just cut a slit like a footlong and you're pulling out only one shovel with in the middle that's stupid as hell you don't even have to dig it out and then you take it over to where Jason got stuck because of you and then you're fixing to what you did but you can't do that so it's back to square one yeah I guess I can't and somebody killed the tree if you kill the tree you get to leave wow that blows I may have knocked that top off it it was already dead s*** yeah Mom did it she had the tree cut down and she left tell me after superstitious

Trump

I'm going to get you a creamer it says no you're not my name is not creamer really that's stupid no it's not yes it is no it is not you're not going to get me you'd have a large you tub of lard get on to Harley-Davidson figure out what's really happening piece of poop. I probably should do that I don't get possessed like I look like I am in Star wars. And no I'm not right there in Life the movie yeah I might be that's where they come from is Mars I guess it's not Titans it would be Martians I accidentally skipped one or two he says

Tommy f

I like to sit around whatever it and smoke cigarettes down here they probably should in cigars you got to tell you something if you don't stop that I'm going to be worried now if you do stop that both of it and you're saying you don't want to ever have crawdaddies in your entire life again I swear if you take a huge s*** in a restaurant and ruin the night I'm going to laugh my ass off all night long he says way to go there Rocco is my name is Rocky raccoon and he's rocket raccoon...

Hera

This is utter nonsense no they're talking egotarian stuff and really martians are after Titans I think what about hoffians smaller but yeah they were there too I guess I'm going to go around the whole thing it says I think we have too many monsters it's kind of true we need robots I'm going to have them coming out of our ears

Thor Freya

Olympus

[shae-la-hyene]

My friend (who didn't understand the clear boundary born from emotional abuse that I support very badly criticism on my baking and criticized a cheesecake that was scrumptious for having cinnamon and being rich) started talking about me bringing some of the stuff I bake, and even asking me to make stuff for him. And I was like. Nope. Definitely not. At all.

You lost that priviledge, remember ? I made my decision, not going back on it.

Also no. You're asking me stuff that you can easily find in any french bakery ever and being very demanding on them, and that I'm just not interested in making at all. So either you play nice, eat what I actually bake and smile and nod, or you don't. For now you don't. It'll take a lot for me to go back on that.

And you definitely give me time sensitive custom order you don't intend to pay me for because you don't want to go to a bakery and pay for it, or because in your twisted point of view, giving me stuff to bake is supporting my project. It is not.

So it's still no.