#so if it's not my responsibility i don't worry about it

[roolsilver]

My honeymoon was a trip to KY ren faire, and the arms and armor museum. Shortly after my marriage, my husband was away for work(semi driver), so I was home alone most of the time.

Our neighborhood wasn't awful, but it wasn't great either, so when I, a woman in my 20s, woke up to someone jiggling my doorknob, trying to open it, I was obviously concerned. It wouldn't be the first time I forgot to lock it.

Concerned on me is...different. I always say I don't have fight or flight, I have fight or fight. My fear response is violent aggression. I stopped going to haunted houses after I tackled Dracula to the ground as a teenager.

My first decision was that if they stole my TV, right inside the door, they could have it. BUT, if they came into the hallway, they were there to harm me. If they tried to open my bedroom door, I would respond to that as lethally as possible.

I rolled out of my bed as quietly as possible, and looked around the room for a weapon as footsteps moved through my living room. They probably thought I was still asleep. I didn't trust the lock(on a flimsy pressboard door), and it would make a noise. At least I would have the element of surprise.

I also had our medieval faire toys. My 4 inch bodice dagger(tiny), my husband's rapier(breakable), and our newest purchase, a two-foot long oak club with inch-and-a-half steel spikes. I had liked the heft of it, so my husband had lugged it around in his belt, getting poked in the hip for the next several hours. It swung, for all intents and purposes, like a baseball bat. I grabbed the club.

I figured that a face full of spikes would be enough of a distraction to throw him off, and years of baseball and softball had me confident in my swing. I could put him down, and then I would run outside. My doorknob turned, and I wound up.

I BARELY stopped short enough. My husband blinked at me in surprise. There I was, in my underwear, ready to brain him for coming home early to surprise me. His final opinion?

"I guess I don't need to worry about you being home alone."

So yeah, I picked the spiked club.

[starrygazers]

cross my heart (hope to die)

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ haiii :3 I only write like once a year but that won't stop me from yearning for these new characters. I love Amphoreus because I was a Greek myth nerd growing up and this new update tickles me in aaaall the right ways.

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ tags : angst, established relationship, mentions of character death

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ featuring : Mydei; minor spoilers for 3.0

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Mydeimos, the Crown Prince, has no fears. He tossed away his humanity when he embraced immortality, the tool that he needed to trek on this god-slaying journey. There was no room for fear, not when he had to fight the Titan of Violence. A man such as this was not capable of human emotions; or so he thought.

"So," you hum in a sing-song tone, draping your arms around Mydei's shoulders. "When will you take me to that new restaurant in Marmoreal Market?"

Mydei huffs, but makes no effort to peel your touch off of him. He turns around to meet your eyes; you're so close to him. If it were any other person, they would have faced the wrath of the Undying Lion.

You detect no change in his expression, so you start pouting. "Mydei! You promised me you would."

Mydei shrugs. "Did I?"

You roll your eyes, finally letting go of him and sitting on the empty spot next to him. "Dying doesn't exempt you from the promises you make, you know?"

The Prince can't help but crack a smile at this; you're the only person that he can comfortably joke about his immortality with. With you, it doesn't seem like the big deal everyone makes it out to be. Not the heroic Chrysos Heir trait that Phainon envies him for, or the source of worry for Aglaea and Tribbie. It's just another part of him that you've accepted.

Because you accept all of him.

You cross your arms and look away from him, mumbling about how the restaurant's been open for a month and it's not new anymore so there won't be as many people and why do you always have to go on such long expeditions, but Mydei shushes you by taking a strand of your hair and tucking it behind your ear.

A whisper of apology.

"It's okay," you mumble, extending your pinky. "Just promise again, for this life."

"I'll make a thousand promises if that's what you want," he says, and it comes out rough, like he's doing it to get you off his back. But you know better, you know him better.

He raises his own pinky finger to entwine it with yours. "How does the saying go again?"

"You're so forgetful," you laugh, and it's the most melodious tune he knows.

"Cross my heart..."

Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. He's content with this destiny, because he knows he is not given the privilege to choose. He must lay down his god for the glory of what little humanity he has left within him. He will trade a thousand lives for peace, and he will enter a losing battle with only his faith in the infinite lives that he has.

Perhaps this is what made him forget how flimsy a life really is.

In his usual boredom, Phainon once riddled him. "How heavy do you think the world really is? Like, a thousand Dromas?"

Mydei's response, in typical fashion, was to huff and call Phainon's musings irrelevant. But now, he thinks he can answer that question.

The world is really light in his arms. The world is pale, cold, and losing a lot of blood.

"I'm sorry. Don't hate me," you manage to say before your last breath. Your voice is hoarse, but Mydei would beg Oronyx to loop it forever because he still thinks your voice is his lullaby.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He promised to take you to that restaurant, and many more. He vowed to bring peace to this world to one day crown you as his queen.

Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. But this was worse than death. For you, he would trade it all; his status as Crown Prince, his pride as the Undying Lion, his immortality.

A thousand life for yours.

"... and hope to die."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

©2025 starrygazers. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.

˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ if you liked this, consider buying me a ko-fi! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

[thewertsearch]

GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Ok, I think I get what's going on here.

Jake's Dreambot is probably the last remaining source of uranium on the entire island, and the AR is turning its retrieval into a game of hide-and-seek.

I'm not sure why Jake hadn't already retrieved this particular chunk of uranium, especially since he has no use for the robot himself. Maybe he was keeping it operational for sentimental reasons?

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. […] GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome. GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.

Jake's picturing a LIVING GRANDSON SMACKDOWN - and, frankly, so am I. That robot's being piloted by an absurdly advanced AI, and I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't have any combat experience.

Winning, in this case, is shorthand for 'waiting for the AR to take pity on you'.

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?

Now, to be fair, that one would only work if Jake had agreed to this challenge beforehand. After all, you can't pussy out of something you never pussied into.

GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! […] TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

Jake, it's been sixty seconds since you complained about him pretending not to have feelings.

TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks. GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.

Well, that's something, at least - but I don't think Jake really understands why the AR is offended, so I'm worried it's just going to happen again in their next argument.

How long has the Responder existed for, anyway? Jake seems familiar with his schtick, so he's probably not brand-new - but at the same time, Jake's surprised apology makes it sound like the AR has only recently started to express feelings.

Maybe the AR has existed for years, but hasn't been sentient for years. Like, it really did just start as a primitive response script, but Bro kept uploading more of his personality onto it, until it slowly began to think and feel. Fascinating idea, I have to say.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me… GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct… uh… THING from my buddy.

Hey, it's not like the AR can stop imitating Bro. Even if he wanted to have his own identity, he's currently bound to the response script of someone else's Pesterchum account. When he talks, he's forced to do it through Bro's handle.

All evidence points to the Responder being a thinking, feeling being with his own inner world - which makes it a little ethically dubious to force him to be Bro's secretary. The guy shouldn't be treated as a bargain-bin Bro, the same way that Davesprite wasn't a backup Dave. We all saw how that ended, and it sure wasn't pretty.

[scented-morker]

Skz when their overworked idol!gf faints

thank you to the anon that requested this!! it is LONG and idk why I gave so much backstory for all of them, but yolo! 2.3k words, fainting and overworking, a couple mentions of weight loss, worried and stressed skz. I fear this qualifies as angst

Chan

He's plenty familiar with the signs of being overworked

He's been trying to support you in any way possible, sending you meals to the company building and convincing you to get rest

You feel bad about giving the food away to your members and texting him goodnight while still working, but you're just too much of a perfectionist

He's excited to be on music bank at the same time as you because he's been having girlfriend withdrawals bc of how busy you were

So so happy watching you and your group rehearse, fawning over your oversized hoodie and little dance moves

But right as the dance break ends he sees you go down

Is nervous that you tripped, but he's sure you'll get back up fine and he'll just kiss your boo boos later

But then you don't get up, and he sees your members start yelling for help

When he realizes you passed out 🙃

Screw being secretive, he's jumping up onto the stage, taking his hoodie off and using it to prop your head up, interrogating all of your members about the last time you ate and your sleep schedule

He tells your manager that under no circumstances are you performing anytime soon

You're stuck laying in the green room with doctors surrounding you until the show is over and then instead of being sent home, Chan is taking you himself

You WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF, and that is a threat

Spends the next week fawning over you, cooking you meals and cuddling you half to death

"You scared me, angel. Let me take care of you now."

Minho

When I tell you he's pissed

He was so excited when you told him about your multiple stages for the golden disk awards

Until you're at three rehearsals a day along with fittings, photo shoots, and appearances

He loves that you're booked and busy, but not THAT BOOKED

He wakes up to your goodnight and good morning texts only hours apart and he cant think of the last time you were home for dinner

He's sent multiple paragraphs to your manager and emailed your company, to no response

He keeps telling himself he just has to make it through the award show and then everything will calm down

However, the lights going down at the end of your stage aren't dark enough to hide you fainting half way off the stage, and he doesn't even notice when he jumps to his feet

He gets yelled at to sit back down, and he only does so in order to grab his phone and call your manager ten times until they pick up

"Oh my gosh she's fine, stop calling."

"She just fainted on stage. She's not fine. Where are you?"

They don't want to tell him, but he pries the information out of them and soon he's tearing off backstage to find you

He kicks everyone out, and he looks so scary that they actually listen

"I'm sorry," your voice sounds so small, still weak from fainting and worried that he's mad at you

But he just shushes you, sitting down on the couch you're stretched out on and pulling you into him

"It's ok baby. You did so good. My strong girl. Just rest."

You sigh into the crook of his neck and he holds you backstage for the rest of the show, idol image be damned

Changbin

HIS BABY IS MAKING HER SOLO DEBUT

He could not be happier or prouder if he tried

He knows it's a lot of work, especially since you're producing and writing all of the songs yourself

He tells himself that he's overreacting, it's normal to see less of you when you're working on such a big project

But you always feed him with updates and stories about your day

So when he hasn't heard from you in three whole days, he's showing up at your stage rehearsal

He doesn't care what anyone says, he needs to physically see you or he's going to have a heart attack

He's relieved when you walk on stage, because at least you're alive

But it doesn't take very long for him to notice the dark bags under your eyes or the way your hand is shaking around your microphone

The second you hit the ground he's running

A background dancer carries you off stage, and they barely hit the curtain before he's snatching you out of their grasp

He walks with you so gently, sitting down on a couch and cradling you while the nurse takes your vitals

He's the first thing you see when you open your eyes and it squashes all of the fear that had filled your gut about what just happened

"Hi doll." He coos, and you give him a tiny smile

"I missed you"

Once you're cleared he's ordering takeout to his dorm and taking you home

Your performance is postponed because Changbin still hasn't put you down a week later

Hyunjin

He knows how excited you were to be going on tour for the first time, and that reminder has been the only thing getting him through

Every time you're meant to come home your company adds another night or a new leg, and Hyunjin is SICK OF IT

Poor guy has not seen his girlfriend in OVER A MONTH

He loves you so much that he watches clips of every show and performance

And he knows you so well that he notices the hollowness of your cheeks and the way you've started to struggle to keep up your energy on stage

Buys a ticket right then and there to your next show, not trusting anyone else to take care of you

He's standing in the wings as you and your group finish your first set of songs, rushing off stage to change outfits

He legit screams when you go down, and if the fans didn't notice before they definitely did after that

One of your members picks you up and soon there's a flurry of people running around trying to make sure you're ok

The other girls are shooed away to go change, with a manager insisting "the show must go on"

Hyunjin sends the man what is quite possibly the dirtiest look to ever exist

When you come to, your boyfriend is holding onto you for dear life, fighting away any staff member that tries to talk to you or coax you back onto the stage

He takes you back to your changing room and locks the door, feeding you small bites like a child and stroking a hand through your hair

"Don't worry about them, be here now. I got you."

Jisung

He's shocked when you casually mention news of your comeback at lunch together one day

"Aren't you not even done with this promotion yet? How are you already having another comeback?"

You shrug, saying something about your brother group not doing very well revenue wise and your boss wanting to take advantage of your groups current success

Jisung frowns at that, but decides to keep it to himself, surely as your companies main money maker you'll be well taken care of

But then you don't come home after your music bank performance because you have to run to a dance rehearsal

And then you have to cancel date night to re-record an entire song

Jisung shows up at the first sound check for your new comeback, and you happily give him a kiss before heading onto stage with your group

He frowns, worried about how small you felt in his arms and how weak your hold on his hand was

He sees you teeter once, accidentally bumping into another member before fully crashing onto the stage

He feels like he can't breathe watching the girls try to get you up and responsive

Your fans are screaming and there's a paramedic running over

He's holding onto your hand the entire time your vitals are being taken, tears streaming down his face

Once you're cleared he's wrapping you in a blanket and holding onto you like you're made of glass

When you wake up he's promising to never ever let you out of his sight again

"We're becoming a duo. You're never allowed to scare me like that again."

Felix

He is worlds proudest boyfriend

He gets to watch HIS GIRL perform onstage AT COACHELLA

He'd spent the day with you, taking pictures of your festival outfit and reapplying your sunscreen to try and keep you safe while in the middle of the literal desert

You'd kissed him goodbye three hours before your stage was scheduled for, needing time to get ready and have some extra rehearsal time

He isn't sure why considering you'd had rehearsal every day this week while also making interview appearances and flying to different locations in between instead of sleeping

He's trying his best not to worry, but your eyes are looking hollowed and he isn't sure the last time you slept in an actual bed instead of a plan seat

It makes him sad to see you unable to give your best energy during the performance, though you even at 50% was still the most exciting performance of the day

He plans on being backstage when you exit after at least two more encores, but you apologize for no encore tonight and are only halfway off the stage when you go down

Let's out the worlds biggest gasp

He follows right behind the paramedic that carries you off the stage and into the back, refusing to be more than a foot away from you at all times

He calls and cancels the rest of your appearances himself, insisting that you need to be resting

You do not escape his hold or your bed for the next two days

"Just let me take care of you! You deserve some princess treatment right now."

Seungmin

He's so so excited that you're also at lalapalooza bc that means you guys can spend time together even tho you're working!!

You're even an mc, so he gets to stare at you on the screen backstage, which just so happens to be his favorite hobby

He wasn't expecting your group to actually perform considering you'd just finished the Japanese leg of your tour and had been performing every night for the last few weeks

But he sees your stage listed on that days performance list, and he frowns thinking about it

He'd made you tea last night after you'd showed up to his hotel room on the verge of losing your voice, and you were so tense when you laid down that he'd rubbed your back for almost an hour with no difference

"Are you sure you should be performing?" He asks as soon as he enters your changing room

"No, but it's just one more stage and then I get to rot in bed for a while. So I'll be okay."

He still doesn't like it, and he shakes his head but gives you a hug anyways, rubbing a soothing hand down your arm

"You better."

He's so stressed he can't stay in the boys waiting room and he stands under the stage as he watches the lift take you and your group up

He catches a glimpse of your performance from the monitor to his left, and he barely breathes until you're taking your last bows

It isn't until the stage starts moving to bring you back down that he sees you wobble uncertainly before falling onto the ground

All of your members jump in surprise, but they don't even have time to react before he's jumping up with them, the lift not even fully on the ground yet

He picks you up and lays you down on one of the spare blankets backstage, propping your head up against his torso while the rest of your body lays between his legs

His thumb rubs your cheek while the medical team checks you out, clearing you when you become responsive

You blink up at him slowly, eyes shiny from unshed tears

"I guess I was wrong."

He sighs, letting you bury yourself into his chest

"That's okay, I've got you now."

Jeongin

End of the year award shows were no joke, and Jeongin knew you were working hard for your performances

Your group had just finished promoting your last album when the never ending flood of award shows started, and he'd found you knocked out asleep in the most random places the past couple weeks

He hated that your group had such loud antis, because he knew how much pressure you were under to prove yourself

You'd told him about the strenuous dancing you were doing, learning borderline acrobatic tricks while conditioning like you were trainees all over again

He'd done his best to remind you to rest and slip protein bars into every bag you owned, but he knew you were past exhausted

He momentarily forgot his worrying when you were performing, and he let out cheers and danced with the rest of his group while you and your members put on an incredibly challenging performance

But all of the fun was drained out of the air when he saw you go down on stage as soon as the camera zoomed in on your maknae's ending fairy

The lights drop, and Jeongin whips his head around in every direction, trying to think of anything he can do to help

Hyunjin asks him to “go to the bathroom” with him as soon as you’re offstage, and that’s all the clearance Jeongin needs to go running backstage

You’re already awake when he finds you, small tears slipping down your face while you nurse on a water bottle

You can’t even say hi before he’s practically tackling you, pulling you so close that you can feel his own heartbeat in your chest

“Are you okay? Oh my gosh you scared me. Don’t ever do that again.”

Your members leave the two of you be while Jeongin clings to you, refusing to let you go for hours, constantly brushing his hands against your heartbeat

[notenoughdragons]

so… with the. let's call it hindsight, sure, of having played veilguard………

marching into the deep roads to kill the remaining archdemons would have been a good plan, actually. like, i personally think the whole 'uhhhh yeah killing the archdemons killed or at least nerfed the evanuris they're connected to, to a degree where they're basically not a problem anymore' is a weakass copout to get out of actually Dealing with them in any meaningful way

but! ~~~canonically~~~, killing razikale and whatever elgar'nan's lizard is called, WOULD have diminished him and ghilan'nain to the point they couldn't cause any more problems. would it have fixed the blight as a whole? nope! but getting rid of the archdemons who rally darkspawn sure would've been an improvement!

………and it would also have brought the veil down. apparently. bc they decided to make it so that the life force of the evanuris themselves sustains it. which—look, okay, i'm not gonna get into it. let's just say it's a weirdass decision that feels Designed to get to the specific set-up of veilguard's ending (solas being able to promise he's totally not gonna bring the veil down, bc rook&co killing elgar'nan will do it for him)

so, pretending for the moment this was all definitely already planned exactly like this when da:i was made… why is solas so against it? it's basically doing the work for him! get the veil down and deal with the evanuris in one fell swoop!

the only thing that's LEFT is. y'know. the blight. locked up in the same prison as the evanuris.

and based on how veilguard shakes out, i don't think solas (or the devs, for that matter) actually had a plan to deal with that

like, in trespasser, the blight doesn't even come up. what solas talks about is the evanuris, and how he "had a plan", so… now we're kinda forced to assume he Also had a plan of how to deal with the blight. but given how he acts in da:i, see (far) above, he clearly doesn't think there IS a way to deal with the blight!

even in the fucking ~redeem~ ending he's like, yeah i can't cure the blight but i can try to soothe it like. buddy. my dude. the prison in veilguard is A NEW THING, bc he had to fucking pivot after he lost the orb like, what could your plan Possibly have been before that???

and look okay i can't not talk about the fact that the games/devs clearly don't want to deal with the blight anymore. yes, i know the sixth blight is all over veilguard, i know you walk across blight pods for half of that game, i know they literally explain where it comes from and what it is, etc etc

(sidenote, i just. deeply dislike the responsibility musical chairs veilguard plays wrt solas. oh the veil cutting off the fade entirely wasn't intentional actually? oh The BlightTM is fully his and mythal's fault actually?? christ, he already Had a perfectly good tragic guilt complex.)

but at the end it just… kind of gets fixed? apparently? bc the veil's not leaky anymore??? neve or bellara can get fully blighted and it's just GONE at the end, you can just walk over blight pods for the entire game and you're Fine, there aren't gonna be anymore blights-the-event bc the archdemons are all dead, there have been MULTIPLE instances of ppl cleansing the blight (merrill with the eluvian, fiona getting de-tainted, SOLAS WITH THE LYRIUM DAGGER) but it NEVER gets explained how, or is attempted to be used elsewhere

it's just, oh, we can't cure the blight nevermind that the hof has been looking for that Since Origins but we also don't need to! don't even worry about it! we just armaggedon-ed half of thedas with it but it's fine!

sorry i don't have a conclusion here this just makes me Scream

I GUESS THE TITAN SOULS ARE JUST GONNA BE LOCKED UP AND IN PAIN FOREVER BUT IT'S FINE, WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT ANYMORE

Okay so I'm giving @corseque 's super-important audio of all Solas' comments about the Blight a second (or fifteenth, whatever) listen and taking notes as I go.

Solas doesn't think for a second that once the archdemons are gone the Blight will be gone. Which really makes sense because it's the Blight that makes them an archdemon, not the other way around. Supposedly, they're blighted when the darkspawn reach and corrupt them. But of course that begs the question of why it's only darkspawn (and uh, honorary darkspawn like the Wardens) that hear their call. Anyway, the way he says it, it sounds more like the archdemons are a limiting factor than a driving factor.

Varric: "What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?" Solas: "A great deal!" So yeah, whatever the plan was, he didn't foresee darkspawn as a consequence. So did he not foresee them existing at all, or not foresee them being free to cause problems? Worth noting that it's really clear both in general and in Descent that dwarves as a whole were a huge blind spot for him.

He is really really surprised that the Western Approach ever recovered from the Blight. Pretty clear he didn't think that was possible.

He thinks that everything the Wardens have done up til now is a deeply misguided effort that's served (mostly accidentally) as a delaying tactic. Gotta say, with the information we have at hand, this point pairs about as well with the last as a nice dry red with spicy pickles. If the Wardens shouldn't have done what they've done, but he didn't think recovery from the Blight was possible, I'd love to hear what he thought the alternative was.

Same dialogue as above, but when Solas talks about stopping the Blight and when Blackwall and Varric talk about it, one gets the distinct impression that they're talking at cross purposes, because Varric and Blackwall are talking about the experience of Blights, as in, periodic events, whereas I think Solas is talking about THE Blight, that is, its true nature, which is yet untouched.

He thinks Erimond is dumb as shit, which is fair and valid. "That's madness! For all we know, killing the Old Gods could make things even worse!" he says. Well, he knows a lot more than "we" know, but it's entirely possible that he doesn't for sure know this. Increasingly clear that he thinks it, though.

I'd forgotten just how pissed off he was about the Grey Warden plan to kill the Old Gods before they were corrupted. It really doesn't give "hey you're killing my relatives" energy. It really gives "wow that would fuck us all" vibes.

Of course, with a side of my remembering that Solas' besetting flaw was always thinking people should know better even though they don't have access to the knowledge he has. That flaw I WILL grant. He displays it repeatedly--you could even say the writers went out of their way to make the point.

"The Blight is the real problem"

"The fools who first unleashed the Blight on this world thought they were unlocking ultimate power." Anyway yeah those are the absolute core of everything here. The Blight is the real problem and the Blight was deliberate. Deliberately made or deliberately freed.

Even during the events of Inquisition, Solas obviously sees Corypheus as secondary to the Blight as a danger.

Cassandra suggests that the archdemons were really just dragons--"Pets to those who no longer exist", by which she probably means the Old Gods, not specifically the gods of Elvhen, just because of her cultural background. Solas finds this suggestion amusingly wrong--a quiet snort, and "I would not go so far as that."

Last notes: he doesn't sound like he thinks the Blight can be stopped, and he's adamant that it can't be controlled. Which is presumably why he broke the world in an attempt to contain it, assuming I'm right that that was the underlying reason for the Veil. That it didn't quite work the way he'd hoped is also pretty evident, though I wanna be clear that I assume he was working from a place of desperation, and that not knowing every possible outcome of an action is not a condemnation of having taken it.

[berritart]

thinking abt phone sex with abbyyyy #plz

abby could hear your hitched breathing through the phone, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

you were a mess, and she wish she could see how you were right now. the bottom hem of your nightgown held high up by your teeth, your fingers tracing over your clit through your panties. it was definitely a sight.

"need you abby..." you whined through the phone, wanting nothing more than to have your girlfriend between your legs. it was definitely ovulation time for you. you're usually horny but you would always handle it yourself. you never got to the point where you would have to call your girlfriend to get off, especially this early in the morning. it was only 10 am.

"what do you need me to do baby?" she asked, closing her journal. she got up from her desk and got in bed. she wanted all her attention on you, deciding to cut her study session short.

"just talk to me." you slip your hand under your panties, your cold fingers causing you to whimper in your phone. your noises were fucking with abby already. she wishes she was tongue deep in your cunt right now, making her girl feel good. unfortunately the snow gotten worse overnight and the roads unsafe to drive on. the weather was keeping a barrier between you two.

"what's going on in that pretty little head of yours right now?" abby whispers, unbuttoning her jeans. she began playing with the waistband of her boxers, craving a response from you. she waited, only hearing whines full of need. "c'mon baby tell me."

"t-thinking about your fingers..." you draw circles against your clit, jolting from the contact. "how thick they a-are..." you could literally hear abby grinning on the other side of the phone, enjoying every second of your phone call.

abby felt the warmth in the pit of her stomach get worse. she was so close to becoming the state you're in but it's all about you right now. she could hold off for a bit longer but her sweet thing can't. "and what else angel?" you mewl at the pet name, plus the feeling of your finger slipping inside your pussy. it was too much to handle, your teeth basically chewing off your bottom lip. you needed your girlfriend bad.

you lean the phone against your ear, your hand now groping on your tits through the fabric. "mmm... 'n h-how they reach all the right spots..." you gasp, your pointer and thumb pinching your sensitive nipple. "s'much better than mines."

"you wanna know what i'm thinking?" abby says lowly as she palms herself through her boxers. "'m s-so close baby." you borderline wail, your movements getting sloppier and sloppier. "im thinking about having that pretty pussy rocking back and forth on my tongue." abby's hand picks up the pace, her mouth holding back a whimper. "then when she's ready, when i think she's ready, i'll fuck her nice and slow on my strap. how's that sound sweet girl?"

"s-so so good- fuckfuckfuck i'm cumming." your fingers curl in your sopping cunt before pulling out. your climax washes over you violently, your moans and abby's name being suffocated by your pillow.

"there we go...good girl." abby praises, pulling her hand from her boxers and jeans. you try and catch your breath, hard breathing traveling through to the other line. "miss you so bad abby..."

abby checks the state outside, the sun slowly but surely coming out to melt the thick inches of snow. it was definitely going to take a while for all the snow to melt but for abby? at this rate?

"don't worry baby i'll be there soon."

[4linos]

you don’t want to get married/have kids.

3racha x fem!reader

warnings: angst. hurt/comfort.

wc: 5044

bang chan

You both left your best friend's home with the scent of new baby powder still clinging on your clothes. The happiness that came from the visit was palpable; after all, you'd just met their newborn, a small miracle that everyone couldn't stop adoring. Chan couldn't stop smiling as you strolled down the sidewalk together, his voice light as he pondered on your visit.

"You were so adorable with him," he continued, almost teasingly but with a sensitive undertone. "The way you held him, the way you shushed him when he started to whine... It was like you were made to be a mom."

You laughed nervously, the compliment resting on your chest like a weight. He didn't notice how the mood shifted; he was still smiling, oblivious to the sudden tightening in your throat. You felt a knot tighten in your stomach, one that had been growing for a while but had never been as visible as today. His words were like a knife, a gentle reminder of something you'd always kept buried. Something you were afraid to admit, even to yourself.

Chan's voice became quieter as you did not react immediately. His fingers brushed over yours, and you stiffened, trying to push away the discomfort that felt like a cold, invisible barrier between you. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, his worry visible. "You okay?"

The question hit you harder than you expected, sending a wave of panic through your chest. You tried to ignore it and play it off, but the words spilled out before you could stop them.

"I... I don't know," you said quietly, your gaze fixated on the sidewalk. "It just makes me anxious, thinking about... all of that." You paused, unsure whether to continue, but his quiet pushed you on. "I've never actually considered having kids. I mean, I've considered it, but the thought of being bound to one person or having the duty of raising a child for the rest of my life is overwhelming." Your voice cracked at the end of the phrase, revealing the rawness of your feelings.

Chan’s steps faltered. You could feel him beside you, the air between you heavy with unspoken words. He didn’t say anything right away, but his silence felt more deafening than anything. Then, finally, he spoke, his voice softer, careful.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" His words were not accusatory, but they were sad and cut deep. He wasn't angry, but there was an evident hurt in his voice, a type of sadness you hadn't expected. "I didn't know you felt this way."

You swallowed and tried to keep your voice calm. "I wasn't sure how to say it. It's just not something I'm prepared for, Chan. The thought of it scares me. I've always been afraid of commitment. I'm terrified of the responsibilities. Of being everything to someone, of being tied down indefinitely."

You could feel his eyes pressing into you. His hand came out and softly touched your arm, but you still felt detached, as if you were miles off.

"Do you mean that?" His voice was soft and weak. "That you wouldn't want to have kids at all?"

You did not react immediately away, the question reverberating in your head. How would he react if you said yes? Will he be disappointed? Will he question everything between you? Your heart pounded in your chest as you finally nodded, though part of you despised the way it sounded. "I don't think I've ever imagined it for myself. Not in the way you seem to."

He exhaled softly, like he was letting go of something heavy. But you could tell it wasn't easy; the weight of your words had lodged someplace deep within him. "I've always thought about a future with you, you know?" He whispered it quietly, his hand slipping down to his side as if he didn't know what to do with it. "I suppose I expected you to want the same things eventually. The family, kids. Maybe I'm just being naive."

You felt your chest tighten as he spoke. It wasn't that you didn't love him; you did, more than you could ever express, but the future he was anticipating felt like one you weren't prepared for. A life that you weren't sure you wanted. "I'm sorry," you said softly, unable to meet his eyes, your voice barely above a breath. "I just... I'm not sure if I am made out for that. I'm not sure if I'm cut out to be that kind of person."

Chan fell silent, and for a long while, neither of you moved. You had no idea what to say, and the weight of his disappointment felt like an unseen hand pushing down on you. It wasn't the anger you feared it was the quiet sadness, the unspoken realization that maybe you weren’t on the same page after all.

“I guess I was hoping you’d be ready, or that we’d grow into it together,” he finally said, his voice distant, as if he were talking to himself rather than to you. “But if you’re not, I... I don’t know what that means for us.”

His words struck a chord deep inside you. You didn’t want to lose him, but you also couldn’t pretend that you felt ready for the things he seemed so certain about. You reached out, touching his arm gently, not sure if your touch would bring comfort or just make things worse. “I never meant to hurt you,” you said, your voice shaking. “I just... I’m scared, Chan. And I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to be the person you need me to be.”

His eyes met yours for a brief moment, and there was no judgment or anger. Just a quiet understanding. "I don't need you to be anyone else," he stated softly. "I just... I just need you to be honest with me." You nodded, tears welling in your eyes, and for the first time, you realized how much of yourself you'd been hiding.

The dread and doubt were not only about commitment. It was about losing yourself in the attempt of meeting someone else's expectations.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for any of this,” you admitted, your voice raw. “But I don’t want to lose you, either.”

Chan gave you a sad smile, a hint of the warmth he always showed, even in moments like this. “We don’t have to figure it all out right now,” he said gently. “But I think we owe it to ourselves to keep talking about it. No matter how hard it gets.”

You both stood there for a while, the silence wrapping around you like a blanket. It wasn’t the resolution you’d both hoped for, but in a strange way, it felt like the beginning of a deeper conversation one that you would have to continue, one step at a time.

changbin

It's a quiet evening, and everything feels soft and cozy. Changbin and you are lying in bed, wrapped up in one other, the comfort of his presence relieving the stress of the day. You're both cuddling close, tangled under the blanket, and the room is faintly lighted by the soft glow of a lamp in the corner. It's the type of intimate moment in which everything feels natural and the day's talk slips into oblivion.

He's just returned after a lengthy practice, his body still warm from the exercise, but his mind is at ease, happy to be home with you. You, on the other hand, have that familiar peace whenever you're near him, as if you could just stay in this moment forever. But then, as if his thoughts are drifting, Changbin turns to face you. His voice, which is normally loud and confident, is softer tonight, with a touch of something unspoken.

"You know, I've been thinking a lot about the future," he says, his fingers carelessly skimming through your hair. "About us."

You nod, your eyes tracing the lines of his jaw, the subtle play of light over his face. It’s easy to get lost in him, easy to imagine that everything will always be this simple, this perfect. But you can feel the tension creeping into his tone, something deeper behind his words.

“What about it?” you ask, trying to keep your voice light, though a small part of you starts to brace for something that feels important.

He exhales softly, and you can hear him shifting in bed, turning his body just slightly to face you more fully. “You know… we’ve been together for so long now. And there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. Something I’ve been wondering.”

You swallow, the slight nervousness in his voice making you instantly alert. You already know where this is going, but you can’t quite prepare yourself for what’s to come.

"Why do you avoid talking about marriage and kids?" he says, his voice calm but with a softness that you rarely hear from him. "I mean... I want to share all of that with you. I want to marry you and have a large wedding with our families, members, and friends present to celebrate us. I hope to have a family with you. Maybe one girl and one boy," he continues, his words gushing out with a calm eagerness that contrasts sharply with your regular lively banter.

As he speaks, his eyes light up with optimism, and you can tell how much he wants to share this future, this dream with you. And that's when you realize how heavy everything is. He’s been picturing a future together, full of love, marriage, children, and everything that comes with it. And for a moment, you’re caught in the warmth of his vision.

But as you lie there, something tightens in your chest. You don’t share that vision. You don’t want the same things.

Your gut twists, causing your heart to skip a beat. His words, so genuine and full of love, linger in the air, and you can feel the truth swelling up inside you, a truth you've tried to ignore. You can't avoid this subject forever, no matter how much you want to.

"Changbin," you say, wobbly but resolute. "I don't want any of that."

The room becomes silent, and his hand freezes on your hair. You look up at him, and his expression has changed to one of shock, confusion, and even disbelief.

“Wait, what?” he asks, his voice catching for a moment. “You… you don’t want to get married? Or kids?”

You shake your head, trying to find the right words, the ones that will explain the storm of emotions swirling inside you. “I don’t,” you say softly. “I love you, Changbin. I do. But those things… marriage, kids… I don’t see them in my future.”

He sits up a little, his eyes now wide, searching your face as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “Are you serious?” The words come out like a gasp, disbelief settling into his voice. “You’re telling me you don’t want any of that? After everything we’ve talked about?”

You sit up too, your chest tightening as the distance between you widens, even if only physically. His confusion, the hurt in his eyes, it makes your heart ache. You reach for him, but the words that follow are harder than you expected.

"I'm sorry," you say softly, your throat tight. "I never meant to hurt you. I genuinely love you. But I never imagined myself getting married or having children. It's not that I don't want to have a future with you, but... "I don't think I'll ever be prepared for that kind of life."

He looks at you for a long time, attempting to make sense of what you've just said. The stillness between you feels heavier than any dispute. His eyes are clouded with pain and uncertainty, and you can see reality sinking in. He's always pictured you staying by his side forever. And the future he dreams of does not appear to encompass the one you envision for yourself.

“Why?” His voice cracks, and it cuts through you, deeper than you thought possible. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner? Why let me think we were on the same page?”

“I was afraid,” you admit, your voice trembling. “Afraid of losing you. I thought maybe I could come around to the idea, maybe I could force myself to want that with you. But I can’t, Changbin. I can’t lie to you about something this big. I can’t give you the future you want when I know it’s not what I want.”

He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated and hurt, the tension radiating off him in waves. “So what does that mean for us, then? If we don’t want the same things, if we can’t even agree on something as big as marriage or kids… What does that mean for us?”

The question hangs in the air, sharp and painful. You want to say something, anything that might ease the hurt between you two, but you don’t know how. You’ve always loved him, deeply, completely. But you’re realizing that love alone can’t make you want the things he envisions.

“I don’t know,” you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I wish I could give you what you want. But I don’t think I can. I don’t think I’ll ever want that life.”

The silence stretches on, a cold chasm between you now, and the warmth that once filled the room feels like it’s slipping away. He doesn’t say anything right away, and the quiet becomes unbearable. The hurt in his eyes is undeniable, and you can see the weight of his dreams crashing down around him.

After a long moment, he exhales, a shaky breath escaping him. “I don’t know if I can do this if we want completely different futures,” he says, his voice low, almost broken.

“I understand,” you whisper, your heart sinking at the realization. “I’m so sorry.”

The words seem hollow, too light for the weight of the room. You've just told him that the future he envisioned with you is not the one you see. And for a moment, you both simply sit there, silently digesting the weight of everything that has happened in that conversation.

In the stillness, you understand that love doesn't always mean sharing the same dreams. And sometimes, even if you love someone wholeheartedly, it is insufficient to bridge the gap between two very different ideas of the future.

The coldness of the morning is suffocating, and you can feel it weighing heavily on your chest. Since the conversation with Changbin the night before, things have felt distant like a shadow hanging over you both, and he hasn’t said a word to you since. He’s been giving you the silent treatment, and it hurts more than you care to admit.

You wake up earlier than usual, still processing the conversation and regretting how things turned out. You go through your morning routine slowly, making breakfast, setting up the table, and preparing Changbin's lunch as usual. It feels odd, though, as if something is missing. There is no lighthearted conversation in the kitchen, no teasing or sweet kisses, and no peaceful moments where you can both linger before the day begins. When you offer him his lunch as he walks out the door, you watch as he takes it without saying anything, his eyes avoiding yours. It's as if he's a stranger and your heart sinks. "Have a good day," you say quietly, but he doesn't look up. Instead, he simply nods, his face unreadable, before slipping out the door. Your stomach churns with the sudden, overwhelming sense of loss.

-

At practice, Changbin is a shell of himself. The members immediately notice, exchanging worried glances as they watch him sit in silence, his usual bright energy completely absent. He’s quieter than ever, not offering his usual teasing or joking with the others. The playful, sarcastic remarks that he usually spews effortlessly are nowhere to be found. He’s distant, almost like he’s not even there.

It doesn’t take long for the rest of the members to gather around him once the break starts. They’re used to Changbin being the one to lift the mood, to crack jokes and keep things light. But today, he’s utterly detached. The silence in the room is thick, and it’s clear something is wrong.

“Bin, what’s going on?” Hyunjin asks, his tone soft but filled with concern. The others chime in too, eyes full of worry.

Changbin shrugs, his hand running through his hair, frustration written all over his face. He doesn’t even look up as he answers. “It’s nothing, really.”

But his voice betrays him. There’s pain in his words, and the members can sense it immediately. They press him again, refusing to let it slide. It’s rare to see him like this.

“You sure? You’re off today, man,” Felix comments, eyeing him. “You usually can’t sit still. What happened?”

Finally, Changbin’s walls begin to crack, and his voice breaks as he mutters, “She doesn’t want to get married or have kids. That’s what we talked about last night. She doesn’t see a future with me like I thought she did.” His words spill out, raw and unfiltered. The hurt is evident, but so is the confusion. “I don’t know if I can get past that. It might be a dealbreaker for me.”

The silence in the room is deafening. The members exchange uneasy glances, taking in the weight of what he just said.

“But,” Seungmin begins, his voice steady, “you’ve been with her through so much, right? And she’s stood by you, too. You love each other, don’t you?”

Changbin nods, the pain in his eyes palpable. “Of course. I love her more than anything. But... we’re not on the same page when it comes to the future.”

Jisung leans forward, his brow furrowed in thought. “But is it really worth throwing everything away? I mean, you’ve been through so much together, and you’ve always said how in love you are with her. You’ve both built something really special. Is it really about not wanting kids or getting married, or is there more to it?”

Changbin doesn't respond right away. He only stares at the ground, repeating the words in his thoughts. They're right. He's been so focused on his future vision, which includes marriage, children, and a life together, that he hasn't considered the possibility that she doesn't want the same things. But it was not all about it. He'd always imagined growing old with her, and a future without those things felt empty. Or did it?

"Are you really going to let something like that end everything?" Hyunjin contributes gently. "I know it hurts. But love isn't about forcing someone to fit into a particular mold. If you love her, it may be worth working out a way forward, even if it isn't exactly what you hoped for."

The words hit Changbin hard. The members are right, and for the first time since the conversation with you, he starts to realize how much he’s been holding onto an idealized version of the future. Maybe he needed to let go of the idea of what it should look like and focus on what they had together. Maybe there was another way forward.

When Changbin arrives home later that night, the silence between you feels more suffocating than before. The house feels colder than usual, and he can't shake the weight of what he's been carrying about all day.

When he walks in, he expects to see you with a smile and maybe a joke to break the tension, but instead he finds you curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, staring blankly at the TV. You don't even look up when he walks in. The absence of your usual greeting hits him like a punch to the stomach. This was not how things were meant to be. You weren't supposed to feel like strangers in your own home.

He stands in the doorway for a moment, the guilt gnawing at him. He knows he’s been distant, that his silence has been like a wall between you two, and it’s been tearing him apart inside. He can’t keep doing this. He needs to fix things, to bridge the gap that’s formed between you both.

Without saying anything else, he crosses the room and kneels down in front of you, pulling the blanket away gently. You look up at him, your eyes tired, filled with a sadness he hates seeing. He feels a pang in his chest as he reaches for you, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice rough with emotion. “I’ve been an idiot. I should’ve never given you the silent treatment, especially not when you needed me to listen. I let my own hurt cloud my judgment, and I’m sorry for that.”

You don’t say anything for a moment, just let yourself melt into his embrace, the warmth of his arms providing a sense of comfort you didn’t know you needed. You feel his breath against your neck, and despite the lingering tension, you realize you don’t want to be apart from him either.

“I was so scared, Changbin,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “I love you, but I didn’t know how to say that I wasn’t ready for the future you imagined. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know,” he replies softly, tightening his hold on you. “I was scared too. I thought… I thought I needed everything to be exactly how I imagined. But I don’t. I just need you. I love you, and that’s enough. Whatever we choose, whatever that looks like… I want it with you.”

You draw back slightly, catching his gaze, and you can see the sincerity in them. The tension in your chest relaxes slightly, but you know that nothing is magically fixed. There's still a lot to work out, a lot of talking to be done, but this moment, this apology, is a positive beginning.

And for the first time in the day, you feel the warmth between you two return, a reminder that love isn't about having everything sorted out. It is about being willing to try, learn, and meet each other halfway.

HAN

The evening at Jisung’s parents’ house had started off so well. The warm scent of sizzling barbecue wafted through the air, mingling with the sounds of laughter as you sat around the table, enjoying the food and easy conversation. Jisung’s parents were warm and inviting, and his older brother had just arrived with his toddler daughter, a little girl with bright eyes and an infectious laugh.

The toddler immediately took a liking to you, toddling over with a grin that could melt anyone’s heart. You couldn’t help but smile as she clung to your legs, tugging on your arm to be picked up. She had so much energy, so much sweetness, and it was impossible not to feel a little soft as she snuggled against you, pressing her cheek to yours.

Jisung watched with a soft chuckle, his eyes warm as he watched you with his niece. His mom, sitting across the table, couldn’t hold back her excitement. “Look at you!” she exclaimed, beaming. “You’re a natural with her! You look so comfortable holding a little one. Jisung, I can definitely see you two having kids of your own someday.”

Jisung laughed along with her, clearly enjoying the moment, but you felt a sudden tension tighten in your chest. You smiled at his mom, trying to keep it light, but you felt a knot forming in your stomach. This wasn’t a conversation you were prepared for, not now, not here.

Before you could react, his mom added, “You should think about it soon, you know. The clock is ticking. It would be so lovely to see you both start a family. When are you planning on getting married and having kids of your own?”

The words felt like a punch to the gut, so casual, so matter-of-fact. You felt yourself freeze, your hand instinctively tightening around the little girl in your arms, who was still smiling and oblivious to the change in your mood. You forced yourself to smile, but it felt thin, fragile, like a mask you were desperately trying to hold in place.

Jisung didn’t notice the shift at first. He looked at you, then back at his mom with a playful grin. “Soon, I guess,” he said with a shrug, his voice light, almost too light. “We’ve been talking about it. Right?”

You nodded, trying to sound casual. “Yeah, yeah, soon.”

But something didn't feel right. The words felt hurried, too easy, and... uncharacteristic of you. You could feel your heart beating and your chest constricting as his mother went on about how adorable it would be to see you both with children. Meanwhile, Jisung was still smiling, obviously happy with the thought. But you couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, and you hadn't told him yet. You couldn't breathe through this conversation.

Excusing yourself silently, you stood up quickly and returned the toddler to her seat with a little smile. "I'll just—uh, I'll be right back," you murmured, wanting time to gather yourself. You didn't wait for anyone to say anything before heading inside and into the nearest bathroom.

Jisung’s voice trailed behind you, soft but insistent. “Wait, are you okay?”

You closed the bathroom door behind you, trying to calm your racing thoughts. You leaned against the sink, closing your eyes for a moment, the world spinning slightly. You could hear Jisung’s footsteps approach outside the door before it opened quietly.

“I know something’s wrong,” he said, his voice low, tentative. “What is it?”

You swallowed hard, biting your lip. Your stomach churned as the words you had been avoiding for so long bubbled to the surface. You turned to face him, your chest tight with the weight of your emotions. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “I just... I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready for this. Marriage. Kids. It’s just not something I’ve really thought about, not in the way you do. It’s not that I don’t love you, Jisung, but...” You trailed off, unable to fully articulate the swirl of anxiety and fear that had settled in your gut.

Jisung’s face shifted, confusion mixing with concern. “What do you mean? What’s going on? You seemed fine earlier.”

You exhaled sharply, running your hands through your hair. “Marriage and kids... they require sacrifices. And I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I like my life the way it is. I like my freedom, my autonomy. I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly tied to one person or one responsibility. I’m scared that it’ll limit my space, my choices, my me time. I just... I don’t know if I’m the type of person who can handle all that, all at once.”

Jisung stood still for a moment, his eyes searching yours, his expression soft but serious. “So, you’re saying you don’t want kids? Or that you don’t want to get married?”

You took a shaky breath. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it that way before. I guess... I’ve just always been scared of what comes with those things. It’s not just about the good stuff, it’s the responsibility, the change, the giving up parts of yourself, the constant giving. It feels like a lot, Jisung. Like too much.”

His expression shifted again, not in anger, but in a kind of quiet sadness. He stepped closer, though you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him fully, your gaze fixed on the floor. “I understand being scared,” he said quietly, his voice low. “But I never thought you felt this way. I thought we were on the same page about... well, about our future.”

You shook your head, biting your lip. “I didn’t want to disappoint you,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “I didn’t know how to say it. I don’t want to disappoint you. I just... I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of future. At least, not now. And maybe not ever.”

Jisung stayed silent for a while. The silence was thick, and you could feel his presence beside you, a reassuring warmth that made the space between you seem even greater. Finally, he spoke, his voice quiet but with a hint of hurt.

"I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for," he added, his hand tentatively brushing over yours, as if he didn't know where you stood anymore. "But I had always pictured us together, you know? In the future. I don't want to lose that dream, but I also don't want to force you to pursue it. If you're not ready, I can't force you to be."

You squeezed his hand, a lump in your throat. “I don’t want to lose you either,” you said, voice thick. “But I need time, Jisung. I need time to figure this out. I need to understand myself before I can think about a future like that.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes distant. “Okay. I’ll give you time. But I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this. Whatever you decide... I’m here. I just need you to be honest with me, and we’ll figure it out.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, looking up at him, trying to smile through the heaviness in your chest. “Thank you. I promise I’ll try to figure it out. But I need to do it on my own time. Please don’t rush me.”

Jisung squeezed your hand back, his expression softening. “I won’t. But we’ll talk more, okay? We’ll keep talking.”

You nodded, trying to calm your breathing. This wasn't an easy conversation, and it wasn't an easy feeling, but having him standing there, allowing you space to breathe and think, made you feel less lost. Maybe things weren't clear right now, but you knew you could work them out one step at a time.

//

masterlist.

[jinnie-ret]

make you feel my love

stray kids x ninth member! reader

genre: angst, fluff at the end

content warnings: death (not skz or reader), reason for death not mentioned

word count: 3.2k

summary: the boys help and rescue their fellow member through one of the hardest things she's had to do, all over again - grieve.

requested by: @lieslovefantasy

1K FOLLOWERS PLAYLIST 💚🖤 MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Have you got everything?” Hyunjin fussed over you, wanting to make sure you were fully packed, knowing how forgetful you were.

“Yes, I'm sure, it's okay,” you chuckled, finding his concern over your organisation quite endearing.

“We've got to check these things, knowing you,” Changbin came up from behind, patting your head affectionately.

“You two are acting like concerned parents,” Felix laughed, standing between Chan and Hyunjin, the three of them being the only ones to stay behind at their respective apartments during the scheduled break before comeback. They would get lonely, surely?

Or so you thought.

“Yah, Felix, Jisungie just told me that you're using our apartment to host? Since when?” Seungmin groaned, carry on bag in hand as he approached, the others behind him with grins on their faces.

“I've always wanted to host! It'll be fun,” Felix rolled his eyes at Seungmin playfully, knowing he meant well.

“I don't want paint everywhere.”

“Okay.”

“And don't burn our apartment down.”

“You love my brownies.”

“And Chan don't- umm, there's nothing to really say, you don't do anything wrong,” Seungmin began, not having something to hold over the leader of your group.

“Aw, thanks, I loveeee you Seungmin-”

“You're responsible and old so…”

“Ah, there it is,” Chan sighed in disappointment, his taunting smile quickly dropping from his face.

“Yah! Is this your suitcase? Have you snuck our whole apartment in here or what?” Changbin complained, lifting your large suitcase into Minho's car. And that was saying something, considering he was the strongest in the group.

“I need options!” you fiddle with the strings of your hoodie.

“So you're bringing your wardrobe with you? Even I haven't packed that much,” Jeongin's eyes widened when he noticed the size of your suitcase. Poor guy was in for a long journey home tomorrow all the way down to Busan. You were only off to Gimpo with Minho. Not as far in comparison.

“We’ve known forever how indecisive they are,” Minho shut the boot of the car, turning around with a slight quirk of the lips.

“This will be a fun car journey,” you deadpan.

“You can always walk,” Minho shrugged.

“Or you could sit on the top of the car and hold on tightly. That would be kinda fun,” Jisung mused with an excited look in his eyes.

“I'm not doing that.”

“They're not doing that.”

“Aw you do care!” you wrap your arms around Minho and jostle him about a bit until he gets fed up and steps away.

“Woah! If I did that I'd be tasting tissues for the foreseeable future!” Hyunjin shook his head in disbelief.

“Okay, we're not starting this now, they're going to be late in meeting their families again,” Chan quickly intervened, being the first to start a large round of hugs.

And with that, you all said your goodbyes. You mentally prepared yourself for the lonesome feeling that would soon overcome you the instant you set foot in Gimpo. It was never nice, never pleasant nor fun saying goodbye to the guys. Even if it was just for a couple of weeks, you knew you'd have to find something to occupy your time to prevent your mind from wandering.

When you finally left the chaos that seemed to follow you and your fellow members, you peacefully sat in the passenger's seat next to Minho as he drove, watching a flurry of trees rush past. Well, that's what you always liked to imagine, nature running away so that you could have a moment to yourself, stagnant with no worries on your mind. Although, it was hard to feel worried at all when you had Minho cutely singing along to Yoasobi in that soft, soothing voice of his.

“Maccas?” Minho suddenly asked, glancing at your distracted form out of the corner of his eye as he tried to focus on the road.

“Maccas?” you suddenly giggled at the word, “Did Felix and Chan teach you that?”

“Ah, Hyunjinnie started saying it I think,” Minho hummed in thought, the honorary Aussie coming to mind. He made a turn for the fast food restaurant nonetheless, just in case you did want some food. He was right.

“This kimchi burger is unreal,” your eyes practically bulged out in delight as you ate in content.

“Better than your mum's bulgogi?” Minho teased, but it made you pause at the thought. You really did miss her food.

“Nothing beats her bulgogi, you know that,” you smiled weakly. Perhaps Minho would have caught onto your solemn tone if not for the mixed playlist of hyperpop and Japanese pop in the background.

“Yeah, you use her recipe enough times. So do I though, it's really good,” Minho acknowledges with a smile.

“The taste of home,” you add on, gaze drifting back outside as you finish your food, watching a child and their parents with their hands intertwined, swinging them with each step. You missed the innocence you once held, ignorantly blissful in moments of pure joy. You'd give anything to have that again.

“You packed a lot,” Minho mentioned casually.

“Yeah the others already pointed that out…?” you questioned his statement, not knowing what he was getting at.

“Like I said, it's good to have options,” you shrugged, pulling at your hoodie strings to feel more snug and secure. You panicked internally.

“You could just wash them at home though,” Minho smirked, finding your reasoning to be making your life more difficult, when really it was the best option you had if you didn't want to be paying to use a launderette.

“Options,” you said one word and left it at that.

Minho simply shrugged but remained quiet, suspicious of this slightly tense persona you were now presenting. Soon enough, however, you were back in Gimpo, your designated location for when it came to having breaks. You were going to stay at your apartment you shared with Changbin and Hyunjin, but you didn't want to have any questions to answer. Especially today, it made sense for you to pay homage, in a sense.

“Oh, Min, can you drop me off here?” you sat up more, realising you were close.

“Here?” he paused, not driving of course, but in his karaoke.

“Yeah I'm meeting my family for lunch,” you replied, pointing out a left turning down a street you had walked many times before.

“Oh who with?”

“I just said, Minho, my family.”

It was a hard word to say, family, because in your heart you knew the only family you had left were the boys. When you lived a lie for this long, eight years deep, maybe more if you included your trainee years, pretending to see people who only existed in photos, memories and dreams was doing you more damage than you'd ever like to admit.

“Your mum? Dad? Me and the others want to meet them some day, you know? It would be nice to finally try the famous bulgogi from the chef herself,” Minho grinned playfully as he found a car park to drop you off in.

She made the best food, your mum. It truly felt like each time you made her recipe for yourself and the boys, you were 14 years old all over again, sat at the dining table with both of your parents. A dark oak, wooden table with white roses sat in a uniquely crafted vase you had made and painted as a child. Photos lined the walls surrounding the dining room, ones you had now kept safely in your apartment.

“Oh! They're here! I'm gonna be late for our, umm, reservation,” you fumbled with your tote bag before stepping out of the car. Really it was just a reminder of your hotel room being ready. You round the car and Minho helps you take out your huge suitcase. Did anyone mention it was a big suitcase?

“Bye, aegi, see you soon,” Minho pats your head before getting into his car and starting it up again. You waved with the most genuine smile you could paint on your face before taking a deep breath and walking past the restaurants that lined the streets.

In all it's grandeur, sleek tiled floors, the fresh smell of bergamot pumped into the lobby and a chandelier just for measure, the hole in your heart could never truly be healed despite your familiarity with the hotel. Hauling your luggage behind you, with each step you took there was a slight relief, knowing that you had once again managed to keep your secret safe and buried from the boys. Approaching the front desk, your mind whirring with unspoken words, you smiled politely with extra effort in an attempt to not think about the date.

“Umm, hi, room for one, under the name…” you began quietly, “yeah, that's the one.” You could already hear Changbin in your mind, willing you to speak with more confidence.

“Ah yes I can see you've booked with us before, but I'm sorry, your booking is not appearing. You must be mistaken,” the clerk apologised sweetly, eyes scanning the glaring screen in front of her unsurely.

“Oh… really? Umm, ok, I'll take another room,” you sighed, pulling up your phone to double check if you had missed any emails notifying you of the change.

“We're fully booked,” the clerk added, trying to meet your gaze.

“What?” your voice wavered. Anxiety began to gnaw at your stomach.

“I said we're fully booked, ma'am,” she repeated.

“There must be another.. there aren't any other hotels around here… what am I supposed to do?” you murmured, the question being for yourself.

“That is out of our control, ma'am,” the clerk looked away. You could've figured that one out by yourself. What you couldn't figure out was where to go next as you dragged your belongings out of the hotel with you and found a bench to reap your sadness. Should you call Minho? No, he would be with his family by now, you didn't want to disturb him. Should you go back to Seoul? You could always go back to your apartment since Changbin was away and Hyunjin was staying with Chan and Felix. No, what if they returned?

Everything hit you at once like a tidal wave. It came crashing down upon you, forcing your head into your hands as you cried. Weeped. You were just about able to hold back your sobs, but why should you have to? Why were you forcing yourself to withhold your pain for years on end? It wasn't fair to you and it wasn't right to the memory of your parents.

Today was the anniversary of their deaths.

They went together at least. That small fact gave you a semblance of comfort but it wasn't enough to heal your wounds, soothe your nightmares or fill in the gaps they left behind them. Of course, not on purpose, you knew they loved you too much, their only child. There was no one else that you knew of left in your family, by blood.

“I hate it when you lie.”

You jumped, surprised you didn't even notice that Minho took a seat beside you, very cat-like in how he silently moved. Wiping away your tears and glancing away, composing yourself, you braved the situation you were now in and cleared your throat.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were staying with your family,” you sniffed.

“I thought you were staying with your family,” Minho searched your eyes curiously, wondering why you were so distraught.

“Yeah, umm, hotel mistake, umm, we're gonna just stay home instead, yeah,” you stumbled on your words, not knowing in your own head if you were ready for him to know, for anyone to know. Maybe you could get past with this excuse. Maybe he wouldn't ask you why you were at a hotel and not a restaurant. He wouldn't worry about you.

“Where are they?” Minho asked slowly, sensing something was wrong from your offbeat rambling.

“They're… they're gone…” you break down into sobs, not caring about how loud you were. Your body trembled in distress, spluttering and longing for a healthy gasp of air.

“Aigoo, what's wrong, come here, come on,” Minho immediately gathered you in his arms, and before you knew it, he was supporting your weight as he guided you into his car, parked just around the corner. He held you with care, rubbing firm circles into your back and hushing your cries.

“Got nowhere, I've got nowhere to go,” you wiped your face roughly, causing him to grab your wrists and stop you from treating yourself so harshly whilst you panicked. He tried to make sense of it all.

“I miss them so much, I-i…”

“It's ok, I've got you,” Minho murmured against your head.

“They're gone, t-they’re dead… m-my mum and dad, they're gone,” you cried, words spilling from your mouth. The secret you kept from your members for so long now out there in the open.

“I… oh my.. ok.. it's ok… I get it now… I've got you, it'll be ok,” Minho blinked, trying to hold back tears of his own as he felt your sorrow.

“I-i should've said sooner,” you hiccuped, making him sigh in response.

“Don't do that,” he tsked.

“Sorry.”

“Don't do that either. You have no need to apologise. I wish we knew sooner but it wasn't for us to decide that, ok?” he cradled you in his arms, the heat from the car keeping you nice and toasty. It brought another layer of comfort to being in Minho's embrace.

You explained how after all these years of taking breaks and visiting family, you were really staying in a hotel the whole time. To top it all off, it was the anniversary of your parent's deaths. Minho had to fight every instinct in his bones to not scold you for not telling him in the first place and instead he asked your permission to inform the boys of what had happened. You said yes. Messages immediately flooded in. Shock, sympathy, confusion. Minho put his phone down and refocused his attention on you.

“What should I do?” you asked him earnestly.

“We're going home,” Minho stroked your hair back, pulling away to scan your face for any sign of panic once more.

“Minho, you can't drive from here,” you weakly joked, pointing out the fact you were sat in the back of his car.

“Ah, there you are. Never have I been so happy to hear you talk back like that,” he rolled his eyes teasingly. His hand patted your shoulder to signal you to move back to the front of the car with him, where you were sitting merely an hour ago.

The journey on the way back to your apartments was quieter this time. Minho wanted to respect you by simply letting you sit in your thoughts, but it wasn't long before you were sharing some of your fondest memories. He kept a close eye on you, multitasking with driving and your emotions, not wanting to see you as distressed as you had been before.

By the time you pulled up outside the complex, a strange set of nerves took over. The urge to stay in the car and not get out was incredibly strong, but luckily Minho was there to steer you inside, quite literally. An elevator ride later, you were outside your place, where everyone else was gathered, waiting for you. The door whipped open and Chan was first to grab you tightly.

“You don't have to say anything, yeah? We understand,” he whispered, kissing you on the head before pulling away.

Hyunjin and Felix embraced you next and you could see Changbin fidgeting, wanting you in his arms.

“We all love you so much and we'll always be here for you. Your family. We will always look after you. Please don't keep anything from us next time,” Changbin held you against him for a moment, a tight squeeze but it was needed for the both of you.

“I won't, not anymore,” you nod in affirmation.

“Have a brownie, it'll make you feel better,” Felix offered it to you, encased with some tissue. It was the sugar boost and sweet treat that soothed your soul.

“Thanks, Lixie, umm, I better unpack,” you hugged him quickly before looking for your luggage.

Minho was chatting with the others, nudging your suitcase towards you so you could have another moment to yourself.

“One for the road?” Felix called out, wanting to hand you another one as you walked away.

“She'll be too full up, we're gonna try and make some bulgogi…” Jisung whispered, or what he thought was a whisper.

You wheel your suitcase into your room with a smile and unzip it, delicately placing your folded clothes onto your bed into different piles.

“I hope you don't mind,” you heard a voice behind you, Seungmin, “I told my parents about your situation and they said you're always welcome round our house whenever you want. Sorry if that seems-” Seungmin stood by your doorway, rambling in an uncharacteristically shy way, before you barrelled into him to give him another hug.

“I would love that.”

When you re-entered the lounge, there were no expectant glances at you, just the safety of being with the people you love.

“I can't believe you managed to hide it from us,” Jisung commented with no ill intent, gazing upon you.

“I am sorry, guys, really-”

“No, no, I didn't mean it that way!” he waved his hands apologetically, “it's just, we can normally read you like a book. I'm more sorry we didn't notice something was wrong.”

“No, no, you don't have to be. Look, I, I don't really know what to say, Sungie,” you now understood where he was coming from.

“It's ok, I'll just hug you.”

He felt guilty for nearly making you feel like you were in the wrong, so he made the conscious effort to be glued to your side, holding your hand in his as you say on the sofas a blanket covering the two of you.

There was one person who hadn't said anything yet. You decide to make conversation to help break the awkwardness.

“What time are you going to Busan tomorrow?” you wonder, glancing at Jeongin.

“Oh, Busan? I'm not going this time,” he shook his head, watching your reaction.

“Jeongin…”

“There is always next time. Plus, I'm still with my family this way too.”

Bundled together on the sofas in the Hyunbin + you apartment, you felt relaxed. You didn't know how much you missed spending time together in the comfort of your own home. It had been a while since all nine of you lived together, after all. That evening you ate bulgogi, whipped up by Minho and his sous-chef Jeongin. Nine people were connected, whether it was Hyunjin teasing Minho by pretending to bite his feet (clothed, don't worry), Jisung pressed against your side or the multitude of legs strewn across each other. The others apart from your usual roommates reluctantly left you the next day after you promised you would be okay, or as okay as you could be. There was something that brightened your day though, and it appeared in the form of Hwang Hyunjin gifting you some art.

“I tried to capture their faces, but if you don't like it then-”

“I love it. I love it so much. Thank you, Hyune.”

The beauty in which you all came together, just like you always did, ran deeply through your souls, bonded together as a family forever.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @linoalwaysknows @royal-shinigami @jolly04 @turtledove824 @yangbbokari @thisrandomgoofy15 @lieslab @hannamoon143 @arumlilyeclipse @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @katzline @kiwihrt @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @his-angell @2minstan @skzoologist @lovingchan @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria @theo4eve

[justastargirlbabe]

Assurance | R. Cameron

insecure!reader x bf!rafe

Warnings: oral (fem.receiving), reader is insecure of her body, aftercare, i think thats it...

summary: You can always count on your boyfriend to show you how beautiful you are.

Friday night, you and rafe ALWAYS go out on friday night… but instead you're sitting on the floor doom scrolling. Your mind is racing seeing all these gorgeous girls online. Oh how you wanted to be those girls so bad.You've always hated your body, constantly getting those weird subtle comments on it from peers and family, and it didn’t get any better once you started dating rafe. You never missed any of the stares you get at the club pool, or the whispers from kook bitches, or surprised looks from adults when they find out about your relationship with rafe. Of Course you love Rafe with all of your heart but everything has just been getting too much and you hate your body more than ever. 

You've been rejecting invites from your friends, completely avoiding going out, and ignoring rafe. *19 unread notifications from: Rafey <3*, your phone read. Turning down the music you throw your phone on the floor,Bringing your knees up to your chest as you start whimpering, and then it all comes out and you're completely sobbing on the floor.

in the middle of your breakdown you miss the sound of your door opening and suddenly here Rafe yelling " Babe where are you?? why are you ignoring me, is everything okay”. he worryingly pushes the door open, you don't move. " baby what's going on, are you okay why are you crying, talk to me mamas” Rafe pleads to you worryingly. " Go away, don't look at me, please just leave I'm fine”  you say, wiping your tears, putting on a fake smile. Rafe pulls you into his arms despite your protests, “babe please just talk to me, whatever it is I'll make it better I promise let me help you” Finally you give in. “it's just- it's just why do you even love me when I look like this? all these other girls with their skinny bodies and Rich families and you want me?”  you say whilst sobbing, tears starting to cover his shirt . "Oh honey, you're beautiful and I don't care about money or these Other girls, I love you, only you, all right Mama”. he wipes off a few tears and kisses your burning cheeks you cling to him wrapping your arms and legs around his muscular body. he lifts you up and sits you on the bed kneeling in front of you. “Is this why you've been hiding from me all week? dodging my calls and texts because you don't think you're beautiful?” He questions, looking for an answer.You nod your head, “it's all just becoming too much for me, all the people at the club with their opinions and Nasty looks, I guess it just made me realize I'm not good enough for you” you say scared of Rafe’s response. “I'm sorry baby, if there's anyone specifically who's been upsetting you please let me know so I can deal with it. I always want you to be comfortable when you’re with me,ok?” You nod your head again too overwhelmed to respond. Rafe senses your tense body. "you know what baby, let me just show you how beautiful I think you are.”  Rafe smirks, your eyes go wide. He slowly lifts off your, his, oversized shirt. you're holding your breath as he kisses your stomach whispering.“ my girl is so beautiful”. Your bra goes next, and suddenly Rafe is sucking your nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud. you push his face into you and throw your head back. “you like that don't you Mama, going to make you feel so good baby”. you moan in response. he kisses his way to the band of your pajama pants, he lifts your hips and pulls down the pants, your panties along with them. he looks up at your speechless face. “fuck honey, your soaking, is that all for me?” he patiently waits for your response. “Yes daddy, please I need you to touch” you blabber. “ ‘m need your special kisses so bad”. “don't worry your sexy little head mama, ima take good care of you bub”. He moves up and kisses you passionately on the lips, taking time to suck on your tongue, pulling away with a ‘pop’. He moves in between your legs and drags his finger through your folds. Muttering under his breath. He places a delicate kiss on your clit, and moves down to your dripping hole. He sticks his tongue in, swirling it around and licks a stripe up back to your clit sucking it into his mouth. making you yell out in pleasure. Hearing how much you're enjoying it, he sucks harder, bringing up two digits to finger your pussy. “Fuck daddy, i dont think i can take it much longer.” you plead. “Shh Mama you'll take what I give you, my gorgeous little slut”. His words make you clench around his fingers. “fuck you're so close. I can feel you squeezing honey”. He pumps his fingers at a tiring pace, only replacing them with his tongue and slapping your clit when he hears your screams.

He comes to hold you, trying to calm your restless body, as you come down from an overwhelming high. Once you’ve relaxed, you grab at his pants to return the favor, your mind still fuzzy. “Uh-uh sweet girl” he tuts, pushing your hand a way pulling you closer. “But”, you protest but you're silenced by his endearing voice. “no baby,let me take care of you ‘kay?”. You allow him to place you on the bed, your body craving his touch when he left to fetch a towel from the bathroom. “Spread your legs baby”. He says sweetly. gently wiping your sensitive pussy, covered in liquids, and gives one quick kiss to your clit, causing you to jolt. He takes his shirt off, knowing you'll need skin-to-skin contact, and lays your head on his chest. You lay there listening to him muttering sweet nothings and giving gentle kisses to your temple and neck. Finally feeling some sort of assurance that you were missing.   

I think this is kinda bad, because it is my first time writing...But please let me know if there's any ways i can improve, and feel free to send requests!!

[genericpuff]

Apollo, buddy, that was not very supportive, caring boyfriend of you.

It wasn't, but in his defense, he is "trying", it's just that he and Kore don't really exist in the same worlds and their perspectives aren't manifesting in the exact same way.

Apollo is someone who's basically a celebrity, he's lived in Olympus virtually his entire life and in that time he's gone through more of his fair share of "social media drama" where he's now, by and large, desensitized to it. His response to Kore's concerns do come across as very flippant, because to him, the drama is inevitable and fleeting. He's blocked many people and BEEN blocked, so now whenever stuff like that happens to him, it rolls right off him - or at the very least, he recovers pretty quickly - because, well, it's definitely not the first time, and it won't be the last, so why worry? Why not just roll with it and maybe share in a laugh over some petty online drama?

By and large, his practical advice underneath all the teasing and laughter isn't actually incorrect - under normal circumstances (as those are the circumstances Kore and Apollo are both applying due to not being aware of other factors at play such as the eye-pulling) Apollo is technically right that if Alex - and subsequently, Hades - suddenly ghosted Kore out of the blue without explanation, then clearly it was a one-sided relationship and Kore shouldn't waste her tears over someone who could dump her so easily. Though he's coming across as very inconsiderate towards Kore's feelings, his heart is in the right place. Even when he asks "wait you're actually upset??" it's not him being deluded to Kore's feelings - it's him realizing that what happened is actually deeply affecting her, she's not talking about what happened to talk shit or "spill the tea", she's talking about it because she's looking for comfort and validation, something Apollo typically isn't looking for whenever he's going through fallouts in his relationships.

Through his eyes, someone blocking him randomly out of the blue simply communicates, "That person clearly isn't on my level, so I guess it's better for them to haul themselves out of my life willingly before I throw them out forcefully." But through Kore's eyes, she's seeing herself as the reason for her own abandonment. She's not accustomed to the superficial norms of social media (or the vanity of the Olympians) and how they differ from how people typically behave in the Mortal Realm. She's never really experienced someone just disappearing from her life, at least not in this way. She can't just say "bye Felicia" as confidently and arrogantly as Apollo can. Though it's a dick move for Apollo to immediately jump to joking around / laughing in her face over the matter, that's just the coping mechanism he's accustomed to and he wrongly assumed that it would translate to Kore's situation as well.

That said, that's also under normal circumstances. There are obviously more complicated factors at play here (none more so than the eye-pulling torture) that explain both Alex's and Hades' perspectives as to why they're distancing themselves from Kore without notice. From Kore's perspective though - and by extension, Apollo's perspective, framed by Kore - she's being cut out of people's lives for reasons she doesn't know, and it's drudging up a lot of anxiety and imposter syndrome and making her feel like it's all her fault.

And there's nothing worse than feeling like you're suffering consequences for things you aren't even entirely sure you did (or didn't do) in the first place.

Long tangent aside - Apollo is being supportive in the only way he knows how, and Kore is reacting in the only way she's ever known. Both Kore and Apollo have their own issues that they haven't healed from, issues that we'll be unpacking more as the series goes on. Though they both have similar trauma in regards to their past relationships and how they were raised, it's manifested in different ways - Kore is indecisive and terrified of committing to relationships out of fear of ruining them, while Apollo has built a shield of arrogant grandiose around him to prevent him from ever getting hurt again, even if it means looking/acting like an asshole.

This is also, by and large, why I don't make it a matter of "picking sides" when discussing Kore and Apollo. They both have reasons and explanations as to why they are the way that they are. They just aren't capable yet of bridging that gap and meeting in the middle - so it's currently creating a tense, unrecognized standoff between fight and flight.

[ahotmesswithprivilege]

Ocean Eyes

paring: Bob Floyd x female!bartender!reader

wordcount: 2642 (scandalously short for me, I know)

prompt: “It’s like you never really see me. I’m standing right in front of you and you don’t see me!” requested by @gretagerwigsmuse (I am sorry this took so long. I hope it was worth the wait)

note: I couldn't write so I started cleaning up my WIP folder and I found this. I forgot that it was practically done and so I thought, let's share my Bob debut with the world. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Trigger Warning(If I forgot something or you want me to add to the list, my inbox is wide open. You are responsible for your media consumption, so proceed with caution, you know the drill): none, I think. Unless you consider canon Hangster one. Also idiots in love.

|| Masterlist ||

divider by @sweetmelodygraphics banner by @firefly-graphics

Reblogs, comments and constructive criticism are always welcome

!!!Minors do not interact; empty/ageless/minors will get blocked!!!

You love Bob Floyd. It’s pretty obvious to anyone who has eyes. At least that’s what you always hear from your best friend and yet he showed never any interest in you at all. There is a part of you that realises that this could only mean one thing but acknowledging the hard truth would hurt more than anything. So you ignore it and keep living in the blissful illusion that maybe one day Lieutenant Robert Floyd will wake up and finally see you.

That is until tonight when that hope should be shattered for good. The night at the Hard Deck when you are dealt the final blow.

“Is that Baby on Board in that booth? Flirting with a woman?”, Hangman is leaning against the bar waiting for you to get a fresh round of drinks ready. The question is directed at Rooster to his right and your gaze follows his and you see Bob sitting in a booth with an absolutely gorgeous redhead.

“Yeah. Phoenix set him up with her old college friend”, Rooster answers, giving you that kind of cautious look that he always sent your way whenever he thought you were in a fragile state and could implode any second. And as if to justify his worries you slam their beers down a little harder than intended and when your gaze meets his, all you see is pity in his pretty brown eyes.

“Rooster”, your voice is barely there, more a growl rumbling in your chest than anything else. It's a warning for your best friend to keep his fucking mouth shut and leave you be.

Not that it would help.

It's something you both love and hate about Bradley Bradshaw. He was not someone who gave up on people. No, he stayed even when shit got hard and you knew he'd be right there by your side through it all, holding your hand and keeping you close because that's just who he is.

And considering the look you get from his worse half, you know the same is true for him. The irony that fucking Jake Seresin would one day be one of your best friends was not lost on you. Especially considering how the two of you started off, but having Hangman cover your back was apparently a perk that came with being Rooster's best friend.

"Don't"

But Brad just lifts his hands in surrender and then they head over to the pool tables where the others are already waiting for them, leaving you behind the bar with the feeling that the shards of your shattered heart were just digging deeper into your flesh with every breath.

“Hey, sunshine”, your head snaps to the side and there you see him sitting at the end of the bar smiling at you the way he always did. The way that made your heart skip a beat and you hated that fucking traitor of an organ. And then your brain intercepts and reminds you of the images of last night. The way she had her hands all over him, turning him into a blushing mess as they stumbled out of the bar.

You have to shake your head or you'd lose focus and you cannot afford that. Not on a Saturday night.

It's not like you need to wait for him to order something, you know it all by heart, so you set his usual virgin drink in front of him and put some nuts in a bowl. Both containers are hitting the bartop a tad bit harder than necessary and before he could get another word in you were already gone.

Your behaviour took him off guard. His eyes are still following you when you already busied yourself with the order of another patron at the other end of the bar as if you wanted to get as much space between you and him as you physically could and he couldn't help the unsettling feeling that crept up on him.

This was so not you. There's a reason why they call you sunshine and that's not just because Rooster introduced you like that. You were always sweet and kind and won over the position of the patron’s favourite from Penny within the first week. You always had a lovely smile on your lips and a nice comment for everyone.

But the thing he had always liked most about you was how protective you were, looking out for the people around you. You were just the kind of person who truly cared and didn't just turn it into a performance.

The longer you are lingering on the other end of the bar without giving him even as much of a glace the more uneasy he becomes ultimately deciding to pick up his things and make his way over to the quiet corner by the pool tables that had been dubbed his even back during his Top Gun time. And from over there he has the perfect view of the bar without the hustle and bustle that would only distract from his actual mission. Figure out what was wrong with you.

You seemed tense and your interactions were colder than usual even with people that he knew you loved to bits.

Dave, one of the veterans who frequented the bar had made it a habit to propose to you whenever he saw you. It was a running gag between the two of you but even he couldn't bring an honest smile to your face.

That sure as hell was a first.

Maybe something happened?

Had someone hurt you?

Or did something happen with your family?

The best way to find out was to talk to Rooster.

He was your best friend after all and if someone knew what was going on, then it would be him.

So, Bob waited patiently until he took a break from the pool game before approaching him.

“Is something wrong with sunshine?”

Rooster arches his brow at the question, stops drinking mid-swig and puts his bottle back down.

“What should be wrong with her?”

Bob tilts his head while he studies the other's features.

He couldn't be serious about that question. Rooster always claimed to know you best of them all and he honest-to-goodness wanted to tell Bob he didn't see what was going on.

“She’s curt and tense. She didn’t even smile at Dave's proposal”

Rooster’s brow arched even more.

God for someone as observant as Robert fucking Floyd he was pretty goddamn blind when it came to you.

“Even if there was something it wouldn't be my story to tell”, he raises his bottle back up and takes a sip of his beer, watching Bob’s mind running  100 miles an hour while he tried to figure out how to proceed.

“If you wanna know what’s going on there is a simple solution”, he prompts him. He had sworn to keep his mouth shut about your feelings for Bob but helping him figure it out on his own was not breaking that promise.

At least not in his book.

“And that would be?”

“Fucking ask her, Baby on board”

Jake groaned over from the pool table and rolled his eyes.

He was so done with this kindergarten bullshit. Watching you and Bob was worse than his dance with Rooster pre-uranium mission and he knew they had been unbearable to watch.

His boyfriend shoots Hangman an angry look as if to remind him of their promise but he just rolls his eyes and sighs.

Hangman likes you, a lot. Some might even go so far as to say he loves you. Very much platonic but it's love nonetheless.

You were a major part of Rooster’s life and therefore you became a fixture in his and if he had to listen to you crying yourself to sleep one more goddamn night over fucking Baby on Board then he’d be the one going on a bloody rampage.

So Jake stalked over to Bob and stared him right in his blue eyes, his green gaze cutting like a knife.

“That wasn’t a suggestion Floyd”, he growled, nodding over to where you handed out drinks at the bar, doing everything within your power to not look their way.

Bob had no idea why the other ganged up on him like that but he couldn’t remember the last time Hangman had been this mad. With his gaze flittering between the two men and you at the bar he decided it was indeed probably smartest to talk to you as soon as possible.

“Can you please get a box of whiskey from storage?”, you barely hear Penny’s voice over the constant chatter of the bar and the music coming from the jukebox when she hands you the key.

You had tried to keep your brain busy all night and lucky for you, the Saturday had provided you with enough to do to grant yourself a small reprieve from the pain that had settled in what was left of your heart after last night.

You nod at Penny and weave through the crowd in front of the bar, attempting to smile at the patrons that greeted you but you knew that this was just a facade and considering the many concerned looks, they knew too.

When you finally got to unlock the door of the storage closet stepping inside and pulling the door closed behind you as you were heaving a sigh the muffled sounds of the bar were still echoing in your ear. You loved this place and the Hard Deck had always felt more like home than the house you shared with Rooster and Hangman. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. The air was stuffy and full of dust but it was the closest to a break you could get just about now.

That was until the sudden creaking of the door made your heart rate pick up.

"This is for staff only", your eyes are wandering around to find something to use as a makeshift weapon just in case one of the guys got so drunk he forgot his manners and basic human decency. You find a large vodka bottle, pick it up from the shelf as you turn around, almost dropping it when you are met with blue eyes.

"Fuck Bob, you scared me", you place your free hand over your heart, putting the Vodka bottle on a small table.

"I'm sorry, sunshine", your eyes wander over him and it's only then that you see how he's not really daring to look into your eyes and he's fidgeting with his hands.

"What are you doing back here Bob?", you are crossing your arms over your chest and take another step back from him, almost making you hit the shelves full of liquor behind you.

He had never seen you so distanced and borderline standoffish around any of the daggers. You were someone who needed to be close, someone who thrived on touch and physical forms of affection, but you were fleeing from him and he couldn't have imagined something as simple as a step back to hurt that bad.

"I... I was wondering...", he started and then you were the third person today looking at him with an arched eyebrow and he felt like a first grader who's supposed to take his SAT.

"What were you wondering?", you said, the tense edge still audible in your voice sent a shiver down his spine.

Bob had never met this cold version of you and he hated every second of it. He loved your warmth, the way you were lighting up even the darkest room. You were the embodiment of a sweet summer day, full of sunshine and blooming flowers with enough of a breeze to make it perfect but right now you rivalled the worst arctic winter.

"Why are you so cold with everyone?"

"I am not"

"Of course you are. You didn't even smile at Dave's proposal", he sees the way your eyes get wider for only a moment before you put that facade back in place. So the real you was hiding somewhere behind that mask you put on.

"Yes I did"

"No, you didn't. Not for real"

The fact he had actually noticed took you by surprise, but the dull ache in your chest reminded you that just because he happened to notice one thing today it didn't mean that anything changed.

The silence hanging between the two of you was deafening and the longer it lasted the more nervous Bob got.

You two had never had an issue with talking. You were probably the one person he always felt like he could talk to even if he didn't feel like interacting with anyone else. But now it felt like you were two ships in the night, drifting farther and farther away apart.

"Please. I just want to...", his voice sounds pleading and the way he reaches his hand out for you prompts you to take another step back. You cannot handle his touch, that much you know but in your desperate attempt to keep the tears from running down your cheeks you forget that you have a mouth too.

“It’s like you never really see me", the words are spilling from your lips before you even realise it, hands flying to your mouth to stop yourself. The tears that were pricking at your lashline before began to run down your cheek when you see the way his eyes widen mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally finds his voice again.

"There hasn't been a single day when I didn't"

You force your eyes shut to stop the tears from running, shaking your head as you hear him take step after step closer into your space and crowd you against the shelves.

"I don't think I couldn't"

"Then why does it feel like I’m standing right in front of you. and you don’t see me?”, your voice is small and quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled sounds from the bar but once they sink in, Bob's eyes are darting all over your face, trying to figure out what you truly meant.

You open your eyes, tears still glittering as you look up at him. He sees so many emotions swirl in them ranging from pain and fear to something softer. Something he never dared to dream of finding in your eyes when you looked at him. And then he caught your eyes wandering from his to his lips and back up.

It was not much more than a flicker, something easily missed if he had blinked at the wrong moment.

"I always see you, sunshine", his voice is soft as he takes another step closer and leans down, slow and cautious as if he's trying to gauge if he had gotten what you implied right, but you stayed frozen in your place, closing your eyes again until you feel his nose brushing against yours and your foreheads touching.

"And what about last night?", you feel like you are caught up in a dream, fearing the moment your alarm would go off and you'd have to get up and back to a reality where Bob dated someone else and you were damned to only stand there and watch.

"Jolene is nice but all she's ever seen is the uniform and the glasses. She never bothered to really look at me. She didn't see me", he lifts his hands and rests them on your cheeks, thumbs gently caressing your skin as his eyes search yours for any sign that you do not want this.

"Not the way you did when we first met", you feel like you are getting lost in the endless blue of his ocean eyes, warm breath fanning over your face as you lean in to kiss him.

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated as always

If you want to read more you can find my masterlist here

[the-selfinsert]

All good! I love getting interaction on here, so full responses like this are great! Don't worry about feeling awkward about replying. In my experience people on here tend to be really friendly, and unless they specifically say something about not adding commentary on their posts (which I've never seen), I don't think anyone will mind as long as you're respectful!

I dunno about the rest of y'all, but I adore differing versions of the same character based on different interpretations. Like, take @signanothername's Nightmare and compare it with @ggalpalb's. They're both the same character, and yet they're so different. But I love them both.

Or, for instance, I just saw a blog that has a different interpretation of Core Frisk. Or alternatively even, just generally different takes on the same AU, like all the Dusttale and Swapfell/Fellswap takes. This community thrives on that sort of thing, and I respect the work y'all do.

[my5ticvyv]

I'll Always be Here With You.

Rafayel x GN!Reader, Xavier x GN!Reader (seperate)

!CW! - Comfort, Intimacy (cuddling, kisses, hugging), Reader is an overthinker, Reader, Xavier x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, GN!Reader, Endearments/Pet Name (my darling/darling, my dear/dear, my love/love, sweetheart). Let me know if I missed anything else!

Description - Reader is having a bad day, returning home and crying. With S/O noticing Reader crying, S/O does his best to comfort Reader!

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۶ৎRafayel۶ৎ

You entered his house, gently shutting the door behind you. You sniffle softly, taking your shoes off and heading to the bathroom to clean up. It had been a long day. Your mother was scolding you because you hadn't gotten full points on a test. It wasn't long until your boyfriend, Rafayel, knocked on the bathroom's door.

"My love?..." he softly calls out to you, hoping you'd open the door and tell him what was wrong. Normally, you'd greet him the second you return home before doing anything else. So, something had to be wrong. "Please, (Reader), talk to me."

Reluctantly, you open the door, revealing your tear stained face. He was right. You were crying. He gently extends his arms out to you, offering you a hug. You let him embrace you, and you sob into his shoulder.

"You're hurting.. please, tell me what's wrong. If not now, then later?" he pulls back just the slightest, cupping your face gently. He wipes your tears away, leading you to the bedroom and sitting you down on the bed. He brings you a change of clothes for the night, helping you change into them.

"I-I've.. I had a bad day.." you mutter, trying not to cry again. "I'm.. my mother got mad at me for not scoring 100% on a test..." you mutter. "She said that because of that I'm a disappointment... I'm so tired of trying to be what she wants me to be, college is stressful enough.. I'm so tired of her wanting me to be perfect..." you sob.

"Oh, sweetheart..." his gaze softens, and he hugs you tighter, "It's not your fault, okay?.. You don't need her to be perfect. You're perfect just the way you are.." he kissed your lips softly. "If you do not mind me asking.. what'd you score?" he asks, but not pushingly.

"...96%.. I got one question wrong.." you mutter out, wiping your tears away, slowly trying to calm down.

"That's still good, you still passed." he cups your face. "Now.. you feeling better?" he strokes your cheeks, lovingly. You nod in response, and he smiles softly. "Good.. You must be tired.." he pulls you down on top of him. "How about we cuddle?" he offers gently.

"Okay.. that'd make me feel better..." you smile back at him cuddling close to him. "Thank you, Rafayel.. I love you..."

"I love you, too. Goodnight, my dear." he says sweetly.

(WC - 405)

۶ৎXavier۶ৎ

You sighed, entering the apartment, only to be met with a sleeping Xavier. Of course, that's to be expected. You were just glad he wouldn't see how upset you were. Your day was rough, and it was just too overwhelming for you. You had gone out, and of course, being a hunter is no easy task. You sustained some injuries, though nothing too bad.

You headed into the bedroom to clean yourself up, you were facing the window, so you didn't see the door open, nor did you hear it. Xavier walks up to you, drowsily.

"Darling?.. You're injured.. why didn't you wake me?..." he asks softly, his voice startling you just slightly. He takes the bandages from your hand, and helping to tend to your injuries. "Didn't want to worry me?..." he mutters out.

"..No. I.. I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful." you say in response, letting him tend to you without fussing. Xavier shakes his head at your response, smiling softly. He looks up at you.

"That's the least of my worries. You, however..." he sighs, finishing up. He puts everything away. "You must be hungry." he says. Leading your into the kitchen, he sits you down before heating up some food he had made. "Here.. eat up." he says, silently watching you as you eat.

"...Stop watching me, weirdo." you huff, embarrassed. He chuckles softly, kissing your forehead as an apology. "..Thank you, by the way..." you utter out, leaning into him.

"Of course, my love. It's my pleasure to help my sweetheart." he smiles at you, "Though.. You need to be more careful, okay? I know you're strong, and I do not doubt your abilities. But I do worry for you."

"I'll be more careful.. I appreciate your concern, Xavier." you sigh. After you finished eating, the both of you headed to the living room and settling down on the couch, cuddling each one another.

"I.. love you, (Reader)." he says earnestly, "You mean a lot to me. So please, when you're injured, come to me?" he requests softly, his face buried into your hair.

"I will, and I love you, too." you smile, kissing his jaw.

(WC - 365)

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[vortexvn]

Hey yall this is nash, I created a side blog for the fan game to archive everything and make it easily accessible

So by now you know what VortexVN is and what is it about, if not then please check here

In short: bootleg Disco Elysium but you play as regina george and you get like 4 girlfriends or something

Where you can play: (Demo - PC only)

-Download

-Browser play

Useful links/extras:

-Dev log for part.1

-Official guide

QnA:

Is there Pricefield in this?

Actually yes, I'm planning on having them as a background/minor pairing in certain routes (Rachel and Kate's probably), like you stumble upon them right around the end.

Don't worry, I won't use your favorite pairings as selling points and not bother to show anything or break them up-

Is this free?

Yea

Why are you doing this? Is this a response to Double Exposure?

I always wanted a Vic-centric something (Comic, spin-off, and novel) ever since I first played the first game in 2015.

I don’t care what DE did to the continuity; I’ve always enjoyed this franchise through my own lens.

As Michael Koch said, they can’t remove what we had imagined for these characters.

I wanted a Vic centric project and I’m gonna get it lol

Why Victoria? Why not Max, Chloe or Rachel?

Cause Victoria is my favorite, she's an entertaining hot mess- also games where the main mc is a unlikable mean girl are niche, they should tab into that market- especially with the current generation's idolization of that specific archetype

As for why not any of those 3? Idk i got sick of their asses; max leads two games, chloe led one and rachel was featured in that game and narratively haunted the other one

Gamers wanna feel like bad Bs sometimes, let them have it

What type of endings are you planning for this game?

Victoria either gets dumped by or hooks up with her love interest, or she gets dumped so hard that she drops out.

Are we gonna get cameos from Nathan/Warren or other non lis 1 characters?

Yes but mostly as cameos, mentions, in-game texts and easter eggs maybe

So far Nathan appears in one of the wall pictures in victoria's room

^ Placeholder version, i apologize for nathan's shoulder

I'm planning on having him date warren in this au and he's not a bad guy in this game, still messy though

Anything else?

Yeah

Big smoke from GTA makes an appearance in the one of the posters you can examine in the dorm hallway

dont sue me, i dont know why either i was rendering that poster while listening to gta analysis vids

[booksandabeer]

Crowdsourcing a Fic Rec List: Stucky & Peter Parker

Well, look at that!

Due to the numerous responses to this post, and since things have become a little cluttered there (different reblog threads, some recs are in tags or in comments, etc), I thought it would be a shame if anything got lost. So, I decided to compile a list of all the submitted recs for Stucky fics that also feature Peter Parker. Of course, I couldn't help myself and added a rec of my own. Fics that were mentioned multiple times are only listed once, and, if one was provided, I kept the original commentary. I hope I credited everyone correctly. If I got something wrong or missed anything, please let me know.

Thank you to everyone who shared recs, commented, or reblogged the original post to get more eyes on it. You're all wonderful! 💙

Here we go:

💙 recommended by @thankssaragorn

🕸 taking my time but I don't know where by cosmicocean | 35K, T so much fun, post-TWS Bucky lowkey mentoring Peter in being a hero and then some family and healing stuff, very sweet. 🕸 Steve Rogers Is (Not) A Good Influence by attackofthezee | 4K, T a goofy oneshot where Peter joins Steve on his Bucky-hunt. 🕸 the rattle of their hearts by iron_spider | 59K, T | part 1 of 2 in rattle universe series an IW fix-it where Tony & Steve try to fix things and Peter & Bucky are trapped in the soul stone together, also trying to fix things. Features irondad if that ain't your thing. 🕸 Dear Teacher, With Love by fancyh | 61K, T doesnt ~strictly~ fit the prompt but i love it so much im always gonna rec it. Bucky becomes a HS teacher post-TWS and Peter is in his class they rlly don't interact a ton but I just love this fic i can't help it.

❤ recommended by @sparkagrace

🕸 Steve and Bucky low key adopt Peter Parker by Andthrowmethekey | series in 3 parts | 3.5K, T 🕸 Drive It Like You Stole It: A Bodyswap by AggressiveWhenStartled | 28K, E | part 1 of 2 in The Old Codgers GreatestHits Album series

🤍 recommended by @eternalspine

🕸 longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak by honeycombclaire | 96K, M | part 1 of 2 in trigger words series Peter being raised by Bucky in Hydra as an assassin but he was Tony’s biological son that had been kidnapped as a toddler. I literally cannot say enough good things about this fic you should all go read it right now. I would inject it in my veins if I could. It genuinely took me several days to be normal again after reading it. There’s even a sequel!

💙 recommended by @arctic-turtle-cassiopeia

🕸 Astronomy in Reverse by pansley | 185K, T

❤ recommended by @maplefiasco

🕸 Make it Till You Fake It by AggressiveWhenStartled | 4K, E another super fun one by [this author]. 🕸 When I Am On Your Shoulders by Lady_Blackwater | 165K, M Steve reconnects with Bucky while going through a divorce from Tony and trying to navigate parenting their teen son Peter. I remember binging this in a day, I couldn't put it down.

🤍 recommended by @funkylittlelurker

🕸 Is this child Venomous? by rWolfWrites | 80K, M | part 1 of 4 in Stucky Shares Custody of Peter Parker series It's angsty as all get out, but it has a happy ending. Basically, it's a HYDRA Peter AU, wherein Peter is an asset right along Bucky. Peter is like, 12 at the youngest, so it's mcu Peter, don't worry. Bucky drops Peter off a Steve's house, designation Steve as Peter's new Handler. You can see why this might be bad. I won't spoil much, but the Maximoff twins also come into play! (Bucky saves them)

💙 recommended by @leihaddock

🕸 The Trials and Tribulations of the Watermelon Werewolf by BlueSimplicity | 67K, E Explicit between Steve and Bucky & Bucky basically lowkey adopts Peter. 🕸 Rainbow Dinosaurs by holla_the_forestfairy | ~1K, G short but sweet queer story

❤ recommended by @fsbc-librarian

🕸 Peter & Bucky Are Pals by DJ_unicornsrgr8 | series in 11 parts | 147K, G-T This series is set in the verse of Owlet's Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail, which is absolutely wonderful. 🕸 Steve Rogers' Dad Face and Other Common Hazards by AggressiveWhenStartled | 4K, T | part 1 of 4 in Workplace Hazards series 🕸 we leave through the fire by justanotherblond | 41K, T | part 1 of 3 in timshel series -> Also, always worth checking out the library for more fics!

🤍 recommended by @booksandabeer

🕸 Praetorian by RecoveringTheSatellites | 28K, M | part 1 of 2 in Amor Manet series Historical AU featuring Bucky as a pagan witch, Steve as a disgraced former Praetorian Guard, and Peter as a young recruit to the Roman army. Maybe a bit of a cheat, since Peter is not central to the story, but in the moments he does appear, he definitely makes an impression, and what we get to see of his mentor-mentee relationship with Steve really resonates. Also, look, this is just a banger of a fic with lots of action and romance that everyone should read.

💙 recommended by @stuckydrewx

🕸 Extra special treat! Drew shared a whole other fic rec list that she made a few months ago. Yay!

Once again, thank you so much to everyone who contributed to this crowdsourced rec list—you're all fantastic!

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

"Elon did a 'Nazi salute'! What the fuck?" scream the same people who have been calling every single Jewish person a default Zionist and just generally been antisemitic for over a year. It's times like this when I wonder if they genuinely have any real opinions or if they just react to whatever gets them angry in the moment.

Every single white person is racist. Every single straight/"cis" person is an LGB- or TQ+phobe. Every single male is a sexist who upholds the patriarchy. Every single woman/minority who isn't a leftist is a traitor. And now, every single Jewish person is a Zionist. That is, unless they want to talk down to any of these groups or give fake support, then it's "We're just trying to help/educate you, but you have to recognize your wrongdoings and privilege." Welcome to the club lol.

Leftists are the ones saying that the right will come for any minority next, but they are the ones who turned their backs on women, The Gays, people of color, and now Jewish people. Leftist outrage is projection. I'm not necessarily annoyed/angry about it anymore, I'm more exhausted than anything else, but I'll still say that the next four years will be interesting.

Personally, I'm keeping my eyes focused on the economy. That's what I'm worried about. I think it says something, it almost seems...privileged...that I haven't seen many leftists worried about the economy (I'm willing to be proven wrong, by the way - I'm just going off what I've personally seen), and they're instead more worried about "the rise of bigotry" that hasn't actually come from anyone but themselves.

But that's just me. I really didn't think it'd take only the inauguration (essentially the prologue) for them to find something to overreact about, but here we are. I should've given them less credit.

It's all so tiring.

This is modern leftism in a nutshell. Modern leftism is all about turning off your brain and only reacting based on emotion. It's why they can have so many conflicting beliefs at once. To them, they're not conflicting at all because they feel real in the moment. And the emotional moment is all that matters.

If they feel scared over things that never happen, they don't lose that fear. They just invent new reasons to be scared. You see it with the climate hoax, with Trump, with trans "treatment", with basically everything the left screams about. Their fears are never rational, and they've never based on anything that actually justifies them. The worst case scenario is the only one that exists because it's the one they feel the strongest about. Someone disagrees with them? That makes them angry, so now that person hates them and wants them to die. That leap of logic justifies the anger and also conveniently absolves them of any responsibility to treat that person with respect or restraint. After all, if someone wants you dead, why shouldn't you defend yourself in any way you can? Even with violence.

That's the essence of modern leftism. It's an ideology of toddlers with just enough adult thinking ability to invent justifications for any action those emotions spur them to take.

The only surprising thing is that assassinations and murders and riots aren't more common.