#so iDK but im scared of losing this forever now that i like it so. be it here. posted discreetly at night dont look

[aquickstart]

FARLEIGH No... No, you don't. You used it seven times. Oliver reddens. OLIVER No I didn't. FARLEIGH Yes you did. I counted.

[inmirova]

"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(

[itsalwaysdark]

ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it

[jaal-ama-daravv]

dissecting the emmrich romance scene (lich path)

dissecting the graveyard scene dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) mortal vs lich romance path emmrich x rook cinematic

Emmrich Volkarin - Dissecting the Lich Romance Scene fair warning you're in for an emotional rollercoaster

first, i wanna touch on this from our previous dissection (argument) -

"What if I can't bear that for eternity?" Oh, Emmrich. his entire soul aches over the inevitable future that awaits rook. i think this line is so important for emmrich because 'bear that for eternity" implies Emmrich will either, a) go rogue trying to bring rook back c) live with so much grief over his lost love it changes his soul forever in a dark, yet unknown way. and quite frankly, all of these are incredibly sad, and that just hurts. i thoroughly, full heartedly believe that there is no concievable way that emmrich just 'moves on' and 'accepts' the death of rook as previously stated in the lichdom scene. sry bioware, but youre wrong on that one as if he was 'fine' with it, he wouldn't of had a massive panic attack over rooks death and his grief. COUGH, the eternal flame. i could rant for hours and HOURS about how emmrich in the lich path is absoloutley devastating if rook were to pass on, because he is so compulsively, irrevocably in love with them. and not only is he in love with them, he has the love he has yearned for, for over 20 years. its huge for him which is evident given how both romance paths have him terrfied of how much he loves you.

Additionally, Emmrich grew up poor. This would impact his view on society and love. But more impactfully, it would impact his view on himself. His self-worth. Emmrich likely thinks he doesnt deserve this type of love. Hence the attempt to push Rook away and act over-suave at times.

anyway, to the SCENE -

immediately we are hit with this, to which Emmrich replies stating that he did it not to scare the citizens. what a load of huff. youll see why thats a straight deflective lie soon -

don't you worry handsome man, youre not alone emmrich expressing his fear of losing rook, and/or losing eachother, continues to be a major dynamic between these lovers

oh rooky, im so proud of you for opening up about your feelings. (remember the argument they had prior, it was fort knox up in here)

rook expresses clear fear and gratitude that they were able to escape the fade. I do believe that the line "I was afrad I'd be there forever" is a parrelle to emmrichs lichdom - as they would of spent eternity without eachother. hence why this next line, hurts so much -

the raw emotion, the crack in his voice when he says this line tells you everything you need to know. he is so grateful to have rook back with him. I do believe in this moment that emmrich has a moment of realisation of his love for rook, and just how immensed and attached he is with her. which is why he later vows that nothing will part them ever again, "not in this, nor any other world" (cough, soulmates). idk man, i have a feeling that emmrich would find rook's spirit in the fade (or any other world) if they passed on, and he'd never leave.

key point back to the lichdom decision scene -

man would go full blown rogue, scarlet witch rogue, i see it now.

I also want to touch on the "you're here with me" line. this, this is important considering what happens directly afterwards - remember how i mentioned desire a few posts ago? lets break it down, "you're here with me." Emmrich has held a consistent view throughout the whole romance that "its gratifying a fresh-faced adventure took any notice in me at all", does emmrich also possess the belief that the love he so dearly desired may not of been possible in his life time due to his age? i think so. which is why desire and the "wow, you're here with me" is so, so important. Now watch closely -

he looks defeated, ashamed - "why would someone like her be with someone like me? let alone, desire me."

the pose, how he is holding his chest and his body up against the coffin, the disbelief and sadness that is pained over his face. he is heavy with angst. this man wants rook, body and soul. he is SO in love with her. god my heart breaks typing this. he is so in love with her, but is so afraid that she doesnt want him now that he is undead - I will add in here to think back to when he was mortal, 3 flirts lines in total were regarding his looks. UGH, just stab me - ps the music in this scene rips out my heart, stomps on it, and shoves it back into my chest bloodied and bruised.

when rook touches him, his face unstiffens and his body relaxes. he looks at her nervously, but before he can address her or admit his pain, rook has NOTICED (YAY - take that argument scene rook) what is bothering emmrich, because she loves him so much, maybe even more, regardless of his undead figure. "You don't have to hide your face from me" is just a perfect way of phrasing that you are made for eachother. rook reassures emmrich of her undying love for him.

its that gomez and morticia dynamic, unwavering, obsessed dedication to eachother. a bond that strengthens the other. for emmrich and rook at least, theri dynamic is so strong I wholeheartedly believe the death of one, would break the mind and soull of the other.

there is so, so much emotion in this scene and most of it is written into the facial expressions and movements of the characters. watch how the fear of death becomes easier now that emmrich knows that rook loves him truly -

im not crying, you are -

this WRECKED me. because there is a slimmer of hope in his voice and particularly the words he chose. "I will let nothing part us again, my love" emmrich is a lich lord, with powers we dont understand just yet (cmon sequel with rook & emmrich), it is safe to say though that emmrich and rook would fight for and protect eachother to the death so that they may not be parted. This also takes me back to my original point of not letting anything part them, nothing - not even death. hence my belief that emmrich would do anything to find rook in the fade or any other world.

"Not in this nor any other world" - do i need say more? the hope seeps through, its not alot, but its there. don't get me wrong, he still has a crippling fear of death, but its, different. different in the sense that if rook was to pass or trapped somewhere, he would get them back and find his way to them, at all costs, one way or another.

the rest of the scene is very, very sweet and shows them being happy for the extra few hours they have together before facing untold danger - by either rook being able to see the fade through emmrichs eyes, or them boning again. actually i think both lead to boning.

this scene has me in absolute tears everytime I witness it because it is so powerful. it is hopeful. it is pure committment of their relationship and bond to eachother. combining this with the knowledge of the argument scene and having played through the mortal romance path, this - is extremely emotional.

Both romance scene are emotional and touching in their own regard - however, I do think the lich romance scene is more deep due to the dynamic. It is not about simply coming to grips with mortality, it is coming to grips with mourning your lover for eternity, and if you cant bear it for eternity, (which he wont, cmon) he is afraid. afraid of losing, rook. his heart. his dearest heart, and of losing himself because rook is, and I quote, "the most magnificent thing to ever happen to me."

mourn watch rook and emmrich are on a whole other level, and that level is something that is told in the minute details, the edging looks. the tone of voice. there is hope in this scene and a sense of overwhelming love and acceptance, but, there is also impending grief. which makes this story so real.

you can feel emmrich yearning for rook throughout the entire romance path because of the fated connected they share, in this and any other world. you can feel it. but this, in the lich scene? there is yearning, acceptance, hope, grief, joy, and melancholy all in one. without a doubt in my heart, these two, are made for eachother, in every world.

I shall break down the mortal romance scene next ♥ see you soon

[rindough]

!!!THIS HAS SOME SPOILERS SO FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS!!! Still life by Sitcom kinda reminds me of Aventurine or maybe it's because i have huge Aven brainrot and just pair him with one of the songs i like but the lyrics saying wanting to walk away from the chaos of life and into a peaceful landscape and also the lyrics "I walk into the distance until I become the distance" reminded me of the end cutscene in the story but again idk i just want to comfort him :')

oh my god this one YES ANON ykno when i played the trailblazer quest, it's just so wholesome whenever i see kakavasha and it gets bittersweet n melancholy everytime aven meets mini kakavasha. especially at the part by the black hole?? god now talking abt it i just wanna *balls fist with tears*

but i feel like aven is ALWAYS on edge, he doesn't show it but as he's granted with the luck to always win, he'll never know when will it be his final token to be a winner, he'll always and forever be on edge as he will never know when it's his turn to lose. and that uncertainty scares him, it makes him wanna run away and never look back, never have to fear creeping up on him or someone watching him, trying to have a glimpse of his so far yet so near downfall.

no matter how hard he holds to dear life on his chip, he knows he can never change what faith he has, he can never change god's mind if the god of sigonia ever decides to end his luck right then and there in the middle of a bet.

he thought he'd be able to live through that surge of adrenaline, that feel of giddiness... but over time, it all gets too tiring, too taxing for him to keep up. bet after bet, months after months, he feels like nothing, not even dr. ratio could pull him out of his misery. at this point there was no turning back. his life, his character, his label, it's all do-or-die, all YOLO written on it already.

a hug? i think he needs more than a hug, he needs to get a full on breakdown, weeks of crying, constant warmth and comfort, to let all of his fears be pulled inside out in order to feel safe again. to feel as if he's no longer needed to put himself on the edge of a knife anymore, no longer having to sacrifice himself anymore.

that's why i believe he did what he did at the end :( ok correct me if im wrong, it's been a while since that scene but... he wants most ties to be cut loose, he wants to be free and live according to his will.

[kindred-spirit-93]

vent ahead

drinking lukewarm chamomile tea. forgor we ran out of sugar so i used honey (that tastes wonderful). bad idea. added monkfruit sugar thing and its okayer now. tastes like diluted petal juice w traces of honey but its whatever. did eat some spinach pastry tho so we good.

tis 5am i am wide awake and writing a vent post lol. not feeling fanastic and the timing couldnt be any less incovenient i dont fancy being ill rn but i think my ignoring my health has finally turned around to smack me in the face. either that or im over reacting to something very short term.

tempted to stay in denial but im the one losing here. dont want to take action thats scary. it shouldnt be scary and itll only bring more suffering i know but id rather not. i will but i wont

i know ive been ignoring my gut issues for years. idk why my first instinct to anything is either deny or downplay. who hurt me so bad i have trust issues with my own body?

have been considering a certain diagnosis for almost exactly a year now. the prospect of hving a chronic illnesses scares me more than it should i think. idk if the fear is related to my being a med student, being silly over something not that big of a deal, a secret third thing, or all of the above.

i love blood tests i dont mind them. i dont however like any other (invasive) test and would again rather punt myself into the sun before accepting the inevitable. the irony hurts more than my stomach aches lmao. im aware. maybe too much so.

starting to think i may have anxiety (lol). is it warranted? am i valid in my fears? my brain says yes my mind says no. the dissonance will give me a headache, the last thing i need right now.

forgot where i was going with this post. my tea is cold now as are my hands. dehydrated af and have a long day (week, month, year..) a head of me. this isnt the time for being any kind of ill

i dont like being a hypocrite. preaching about taking care of oneself and seek out medical assistance/ a consultation or confirmation etc instead of wasting away worrying & not doing anything about it, only to turn around & contradict my own beliefs. i hate it. i hate me too.

dont know if ill post or delete this. its a bit too much for my liking.

so many feelings. so much not knowing. when i go to therapy (soon) what terrifies me is that ill have built so much on my own assessment and predicitions i might get told i was completely wrong and totally fine just being dramatic or excessive. what then? when my walls have not only been taken down but the bricks are being thrown at me too

stress stress stress. we learn over and over again how damaging stress is to the body and yet we all know nothing is going to happen to ease it. that its only going to get worse from here in fact. its funny in the way that hurts. in the ways that hurt.

my brain feels heavy and light at the same time. a fog refuses to settle. if i could wrap myself in blankets and stay under the covers forever with my plushies till i become a fossil i wouldnt mind. i dont know whats bothering me. what my brain is filing and sorting through behind the curtains of consciousness. but its bothering me

going to get up and pray in a minute. some peace of mind will dull the pain of existence for a little while. a solitude within a solitude. im the only one awake. biding my time till the eternal solitude.

might make another cup of tea. no honey this time.

[qoldenskies]

do you have a scene from the whole canary continuity series that was your favorite to write?? And/or one that was the most difficult to write?

i cant pick a favorite or least favorite SO

i did in particular enjoy writing the closet scene! it was very funny to learn i had some form of psychosis in the middle of writing it completely unrelated though

OH and i loved writing the scenes at the beginning of CL, ive had those scripts written forever and the little twin cuddle was cute. also pretty much ALL of miner's eulogy was so breezy to write (even though i'd probably change the pacing on a couple of scenes if i wrote it now) so i have appreciation for it

trying to think about scenes that i LIKED writing uhhhh that scene with donnie and splinter kind of early-ish in CL where he cries on him is so wonderfully tragic and i actually enjoyed writing it quite a bit. also special shout out to the conversation the twins had in ch15 it just seemed to keep going and going and i was having a blast

as for scenes that were DIFFICULT hmmm

chapter 11 and chapter 14 were. so hard. action scenes fuuuuck me in the ass always and wwww is gonna have so many of them so im scared. i LOVE myself a good fight scene but i feel like an amateur actually writing them, maybe its just something i'll get better with in time

also the finale of CL, just because it was the only scene where i had to take breaks to calm myself down several times. its a very distressing scene that really got through to me, so im hoping it was that hard hitting for others. idk when i get the courage to ask people for their favorite cc scenes for research purposes in like a billion years or never because im shy i guess i'll see

let me just say that i am not excited for the kitsune retribution chapter at the end of the story. its going to be sweet sweet justice and i am very excited for the Extremely Feral Mikey you will be getting (its like hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby except coughing baby WINS by a LANDSLIDE) im not gonna have fun with the action

they call them fight scenes because i am fucking fighting my own demons trying to make them good (i am losing)

[gracetoldmeto]

really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?

note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...

im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.

I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?

can i control any of this? no.

so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...

bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???

ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.

medical? -> insurance.

death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income

(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)

so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!

WRONG!

all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job

yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,

but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???

if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist

this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story

(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)

im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...

whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore

(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)

i am equally fucked by either...

1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep

OR

2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)

this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am

why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)

why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???

"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"

actually neither, id rather simply not exist

why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?

why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with

why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is

and i fucking hate it

.

...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now

[jemmo]

rambles on that last twilight ending

my thoughts on the last twilight ending are so??? im gonna need to sit on this one for a while, bc i loved this show so whole-heartedly that i don’t want to write it off bc of a ‘bad ending’, but it also means it’s hard to reconcile that the ending was… well, i don’t think it was bad. i think it deserves more thought than that, but i don’t think it did what it wanted to, nor did it keep with what the shows message was, or should have been. and we can say it’s as simple as day shouldn’t have got his sight back, but I don’t think that was the only thing. if he stayed blind, the ending still wouldn’t have hit right for me. none of it hit right from the end of ep 11 bc it’s like I could feel the intent of the writing, but it’s not what the writing actually was. and if it was given maybe 3ish more episodes and all these characters were given more time, i think an ending like this could’ve worked. but again, it all comes down to that damn ep 11 curse that I thought p’aof was better than, bc you can’t squeeze everything that needed to be reconciled after this breakup and everything they wanted to do into one ep, not with this show.

i didn’t hate the idea of a breakup. if you’re going with the narrative of mohk having a fear of being away from day bc of his trauma and so on then fine, that works. and so it works that they had to be away from each other to grow in that way, but I do think it was unkind to mohk to send him away on that note. some understanding, and day wanting him to go for his own good would’ve felt kinder, and even if they were his real intentions, they didn’t communicate that either. it just felt like day had no empathy for him. and yes he was probably hurting too feeling like no one was trusting him, but whatever, it could’ve been done better. and if they wanted to play on anything else, then hey there was that whole bit with the car and day thinking mohk was looking after him just for the money, why not use that and the fact the opportunities mohk got in his career were connections bc he was with day. day could’ve been like well that was the whole point, you don’t work for me forever, you can do whatever you want now, or even just played more on him feeling like he’s holding mohk back. idk, i just mean if this breakup was going to turn out to be 3 years, no contact at all, which it did, it should’ve felt bigger than a 5 second argument.

anyway, then the finale comes and again, if they’d given more reason for a breakup, i would’ve understand more why day keeps on denying mohk a second chance, which i already don’t like the phrasing of bc it makes out like he did something wrong and needs to earn a second chance which he doesn’t. the whole thing would’ve been more understandable if this was day realizing that they both grew and found happiness in what they’re doing and he didn’t want to ruin that when the breakup meant it could happen. or they could’ve completely 180-ed and shown that one of them wasn’t happy, or both, idk mohk had no one in the states and was incredibly hurt and lonely, day was struggling after losing mohk like he did and reinforcing the idea that he couldn’t be independent made him retreat again. just anything would’ve given more strength behind a need to push away, and would have made it more satisfying when love overcomes it all blah blah blah.

and as much as i liked the airport scene and the fact day did go after him, do you know what would’ve been more impactful? day, knowing his full ability, and going against his mom who still worries for his safety or going bc of his mom seeing that he’s not truly happy, bc both could’ve worked given different writing, getting on a plane by himself and going after mohk, seeing him be able to traverse it all. for once we watch day by himself and unlike at the start of the show, we’re not constantly scared he’s gonna get hurt, bc he’s confident and able now and we can just watch him go after mohk and be excited about it, like the end to any other romance story. and it would’ve meant mohk got this moment where, after looking after day so much and getting broken up with bc he cared too much, he gets to see day caring for him that much too.

and the sight thing. yes, with the time they had they shouldn’t have done it, it should’ve been that they manage to find their own happiness despite it all, then the whole show would’ve been about day accepting his situation and standing up for his own ability and his own right to independence and happiness, and it would’ve meant mohk could overcome his fear of loss and guilt over his sister and learn that he isn’t to blame for anything, bc now day can make his own decisions and is ok on his own. now if there was more time, i could’ve seen it working, but only with stronger writing. I would’ve loved to have seen a conversation over day getting his sight back, maybe him not wanting it bc he’s accepted the way he is much like how some deaf people don’t want implants, and the opposing argument of how not all people in his place can have the possibility of seeing again. we could’ve seen fear in the opposite direction now that he’s used to his life, and that damn first scene of part 4, we could’ve seen him then wanting to go out into the world and look after people like him, just like mohk did for him, bc mohk made him see the importance of having someone there for you that cares for you and sees you as a person, as normal, not as your disability. and funnily enough, do you know what made me cry at the end of it? then showing the pictures that were taken when day was blind. that’s the kind of thing i wanted to see, and wished i did if they had more time. day getting his sight back but still showing how connected he is to who he was at that time and while not being thankful for it happening, being thankful for the way he’s grown, and loving the person he sees in those pictures. to go from someone who hid himself and his blindness to someone who shares his story and helps and advocates vocally for those like him, despite not being blind anymore. that way you still get to give day his sight back as your happily ever after but manage to retain the message.

so yeah. they missed the ball. but i also want to remove this idea that an ending ruins a whole show. at the end of the day, it’s one ep, and when a show has done so much good in all its other eps, at least in my eyes, that’s the stuff I’d rather talk about and remember.

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

[theyhitthepentagon]

having autism and avpd really sucks cuz everything makes an imprint on me no matter how small it is so i have to either

abstain from everything that i am not currently into so i stay consistent for the people around me (makes me scared of my friends and what accidentally changing will do to our relationship) OR

being into whatever i want and risk becoming annoying and losing my friends forever cuz i changed too hard and it made me suck (makes me and them sad)

i think being into things that are smaller scale helps with this because im really into ss14 right now and the community is very good theres not much negativity outside "this guy plays the game in a way that ruined my game which makes me mad" or "this map fucking sucks and heres why" which is like Nothing compared to some more popular communities ive lingered around recently (regretevator, homestuck). but in general idk. this is just not a fun way to exist. i wish i wasnt the doormat of the communities surrounding my favorite things :p

this is just the social ramifications of existing too dont even get me started on likw academic/career shit i dont want to think about it

[chiapurin]

answering this in one go because i cannot sleep

1. stats

cw: 66.5kg/146.7lb (18/10)

sw: 68.3kg/150lb

hw: 78kg/172lb

lw: 52kg/114lb

2. height, do you like your height?

im 166cm/5'4 and yes because im considered taller than average in my country

3. ugw, why this number?

49kg/108lb because that's the weight of jake in miss peregrine and i want to look like him

4. biggest fear about weight loss?

gaining it all back (i've done that)

5. why do you really want to lose weight?

i looked better at a lower weight, felt better too. alsp im going to japan this december and i need to look good in my pics

6. do you ever binge? why do you think so?

yes, because i genuinely love food (im a chronic overeater, been doing that as long as i have lived). but the point that i knew i Binged instead of just overeating is when i was in my first depressive episode

7. do your parents know about your issues with food?

my mom: yes. she knows that i either restrict or overeat lmao, she also caught me pūrging

ny dad: idk to be honest. i did cry and had a break down in the car after eating crab ramen, but i think he's kinda dense and just thinks im on a diet

8. workout routine

i don't have one, rn i just try to have 1100c deficit daily. when i do have to workout, i do l1dia m3ra's 10 mins abs and m0momi's 4 mins slim leg. or i jog and walk for 45 mins

9. were negative things ever said about your weight?

hell yeah i was bullied in elementary school

10. what was the hardest thing you gave up to lose weight?

snacking at 11pm and having snacks after a huge meal

11. fav th1nspo blog, why?

don't have one, but i do like @/xiaospo on twt

12. what do you normally eat?

i've been eating air fried potatoes every other day. steamed fish, stir-fried veggies, grilled chicken, clear soup

13. safe food and why?

- sugar free fisherman's friend choco and salted caramel candy: it's 0 c4ls

- air fried potatoes, kimchi, danmuji, canned tuna, most veggies, apples, pineapples: low c4l and taste good

14. fav thinspo photo and why?

she just look so perfect, i mean look at her.. same height as me, though she's bmi 15

15. fear food, why are these scary?

noodles, i love noodles so it's very Easy for me to overeat them. a serving of local noodles is 400c+! pizza and pasta too, Way too high c4l and i can't make a low c4l version of them

16. how long have you struggle with this?

august 2022 i guess (been overeating since like. Forever)

17. are you diagnosed with an 3d?

no but i have had episodes of restricting, binge eating, vom pūrging, exercise pūrging. so maybe osfed/ednos?

18. what food is your weakness?

any food when im hungry tbh

20. what started your issue with food?

1st depressive episode where i barely leave my room and would omad vending machine snacks at 11pm, or cook up double portion chilli oil noodles.

21. have your pūrged?

yup both methods too

22. fav things about your 3d

makes me sk1nny and gives me superiority complex

23. least fav things about your 3d

can't eat whatever i want, Always c4l counting

24. do you have other mental illnesses? do you think they contribute to your 3d?

im not dxed of depression and anxiety. but basically during my 1st depressive episode, i omad because i was too scared of other people looking at me when i eat/cook. i also eat when im depressed! so i's say yeah. though lately im trying to cope with other things

25. fav motivating shows/movies

h0use md because the eps were filmed before 2010s so everyone was real sk1nny. and also miss p3regrine because of her calculation on jake's speed to reach her sanctuary

26. do you have rules for eating?

i guess so? i ALWAYS count my c4l, even when i binge (i'd guesstimate it). i also avoid fried foods and only eat them when the social situation requires me to

27. do you ever see yourself recovering?

not really. even when i reach my ugw, i still have to restrict because if not i'd overeat my way to my sw

28. what is your ed driven by?

earlier this month it was about control but now i just wanna lose weight man

29. what features do you hope to achieve?

THIGH GAP!

30. fav tip?

idk... maybe actually eating what you crave, then go for a walk

[multiplicity-positivity]

i dont know if i've sent an ask like this before but. i've been fronting for a week or so now. im not really frontstuck - i can leave, and others can come into cofront, but i'm very scared to leave front. i don't know if im afraid of losing control or memory or something but i'm too nervous to leave and. idk do you have advice? i feel lost here :(

Hey - so I’m usually fronting to some extent, but I also used to really struggle with giving up control and allowing my alters to take over in order to take care of us and live their lives. Honestly it’s something that I still struggle with from time to time. It’s a common thing for headmates to worry about losing control, losing touch with reality, losing previous memories, and losing time in general when it comes to leaving the front.

What’s helped me a lot with these fears is having some genuine, serious discussions with my alters and making some requests. We’ve had talks about fronting, and how one member leaving the front absolutely does not mean that they won’t ever front again. I’ve also asked my alters to help keep me informed on anything that happens while I’m outside the front, and I try to do the same for them. In this way, we still have lots of memory gaps, but we’ve been learning to try and help each other fill in the blanks. Learning how to compromise and collaborate with my parts like this has taken a lot of time, patience, and therapy, but I think we’ve been making improvements overall.

If you’re afraid of going dormant, or that by leaving the front, you may never be able to front again, it may be of some comfort to you to know that dormancy doesn’t last forever. We had a part re-emerge last year after over a decade of dormancy. It took him a while to readjust to life, but these days I’d say he’s doing pretty good. Dormancy doesn’t mean death, and it’s not really something that needs to be feared. Individual headmates don’t die in systems, and any time you leave the front, know that it really won’t last forever.

Getting pulled from the front used to freak me out a lot, but these days I’ve gotten more used to it. I’ve been trying to learn to go with the flow of my system and make space for my alters to express themselves, even if that means giving up control sometimes or even fully leaving the front (which again, is still pretty rare for me).

Really it took just time, therapy, and being genuine and open with my parts to finally grow less scared of leaving the front. Idk how helpful this will be for you… but I hope that with time you’ll find it easier to allow other headmates in your system to take over. It’s definitely a process tho, and don’t be too sad if you still struggle with leaving the front after spending time trying to work through your fears with your system.

Wishing you the best.

💫 Parker

[quodekash]

I HAVE ICE TEA, TIME FOR EPISODE 2 im so scared

iMMEDIATE winnysatang. i love them but i genuinely dont understand why it couldnt be seanmaitee.

im gonna rewatch simm after this and write an essay about why seanmaitee should be together, just in case theres anyone who doesnt believe me

i have so many mixed emotions rn

i love them both so much

and there's no hatred towards them at all because theyre just the actors, not the ones in charge

and i do love winnysatang and i love the chemistry they have with each other

and theyre both so pretty

and bc theyre the same actors they make me think of soundwin and soundwin make me infinitely happy

but theyre not soundwin, theyre sean and nay

and sean is desperately in love with maithee, he has been for the entire series

and, as far as we know, in canon, sean and nay have literally never interacted so why are they suddenly sticking to each others sides??? why isnt sean sticking to maitee's side?? he's always at maitee's side, always has his arm around him, always looking at him. why did his character suddenly have to change once msp came out, just for winnysatang fanservice??

is this neurodivergent backpack-holding i see here?

"i told you to wear warm clothes" "well i wanted you to hug me more" NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, THATS SO STINKING CUTE

bro theyre so in love

theyre so in love

how are they so in love

i love them

wait a sec (lmao win/nay in that screenshot looks great)

dont tell me naysean are gonna share a tent

that doesnt make sense even without considering the ships

sean and maitee are clearly the bestest of friends

even if you were to argue that the constant arms around each other is entirely platonic, it feels a lot like a close-friends-been-close-forever-dont-want-to-let-go-and-lose-you kinda thing, so wouldnt you expect them to share a tent?????

idk man

sean captaincy reigns supreme

dang it

GOSH DARNNIT PART OF ME KINDA LIKES THE NAYSEAN

going from two people who barely know each other because of a mutual friend and then they meet for the first time and theres like immediate attraction and yadda yadda storyline

i still think i prefer seanmaithee tho

hmm

perhaps nayseanmaitee

then everyone's happy

how is he so pretty

and gender

gimme the gender pls

i want it

seriously, the GENDER ON THIS MAN

THE WAY HE DOES THE GENDER

...okay im starting to believe the naysean storyline

but i still want seanmaitheeeeeee

nayseanmaitee is still a strong contender tho

sean, honey, you're not subtle

"i love him even more, every day" kluen, i love you so much. he's so whipped. hes so in love. it makes me the happy

I CANT EXPLAIN IT, BUT KLUEN'S OBNOXIOUS (not in a bad way) AND UNAPOLOGETIC LOVE FOR NUEA IS SO FREAKING SWEET AND WONDERFUL AND INCREDIBLE AND I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH

"or i might have been with someone new already" "then id be happy for you that you found good love" "that means you must be happy for me now" "why?" "because i found my very good love already" GI3U4EJRBGJKREBDGKHRE

LITLE KISSE

THEY DO THE LITLE KISSE

HAPPY

HAPPY LITLE KISSE

MAKE ME THE HAPPY

NOT LITLE KISSE

LONGE KISSE

LONGE KISSE HAPPY

MAKE ME THE HAPPY

what im tryna say is i love them

"i dont like spaghetti" exCUSE ME MAITHEE?? I PICCOLI ITALIANI CHE ABITANO NEL MIO CERVELLO SONO FURIOSI

PERCHÉ NON TI PIACE GLI SPAGHETTI??

É MERAVIGLIOSO

VAFFANCULO

TI VOGLIO BENE, MA NON MI PIACI AL MOMENTO

"when did you guys stop fighting" che???? what do you mean by that?? what happened between them??????? ANSWERS PLS

omg this started like 40 minutes ago. ive only just finished 1/4. what the hell is wrong with me

nuea and kluen are so freaking in love i love it what the hell

"sean, go wake them up" OH NO, SEAN'S CAPTAINCY OF THE SHIP HAS FINALLY TURNED TO A CURSE

NOT LIKE THIS, MY FRIEND

TRUST ME GUYS, YOU DO NOT WANNA OPEN THAT TENT

lmao they pushed it onto phoon, nice

BVRHKDBFGHJR THIS IS SO FUNNY

i was pretty sure they were awake already (how the hell could one person sleep through the racket those guys were making. even if one of them slept through that, the other would like poke them and say 'we gotta wake up'

iS PRINCE THERE???

PLS

I WANNA SEE PRINCEFAH

GOSH FREAKING DARNNIT

altho the way that thats worded it sounds like he died lmao

lmao nuea and kluen just left them

PHOON LEFT TOO

NAYSEANMAITEE???

dang it just naysean

NUEAKLUEN AND NAYSEANMAITHEE

i refuse to give up on this dream

seanmaitee get together or i. die.

MINPHOOOOOOOON i love them so much

i love nuea and phoon's friendship its so wholesome and pure

everything in this show is so pure

i love it

NO WHY AM I SMILING

ITS BC I LOVE WINNYSATANG

GOSH DARNNIT IM SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST SEANMAITHEE ADVOCATES WHY AM I FALLING INTO THE TRAP

ITS BC WINNYSATANG (and thereby soundwin) AND ITS ALSO BC NAYSEANMAITEE

THAT IS ALL

nueakluen are so in love i love them

how many times have i said that today

probably too many

its fine

oH MY GOSH

CHE CAVOLO

IM DYING

IM FREAKING DYING

A SUNFLOWER RING???

i think im gonna cry

no thats a lie

i know im gonna cry, for sure

WHAT THE HELLLLLL

THIS IS SO FREAKING SWEET

HES SO DRAMATIC

IN THE BEST WAY

I LOVE HIM

HE DID LITTLE GRABBY HANDS GHRBGHBHR

just like me with his gender

*grabby hands* gimme

"THERES A SUNFLOWER AND A STAR" I CANT WITH THEM

BROOOOOOO

"what are you talking about" nuea, it was pretty clear. i think he just proposed to you. or like some kind of statement like 'we're absolutely getting married, that's happening'

i think theyve had a conversation about this in the past. idk if it happened in canon (i dont think it did?????) but it feels like theyve had The Marriage Conversation before

same

LITLE KISSE

lift and walk back into their room lmao

captain is disappointed in his crew

"nuea, ive been rooting for you since high school" nay was the one tending at the docks or whatever and then the ship started sailing and the only one on the boat was sean and he was like 'ah shoot i better figure out how to make a ship not sink now'

i think im getting lost in the metaphor

what im tryna say is even tho nay's been there since high school, sean is still the captain

"should we jsut go to their room?" "let's go" GUYS WAIT NO-

THIS IS MAKING ME HAPPIER THAN I CAN POSSIBLY EXPRESS

MY BOYS

THEYRE FINALLY HAPPY

THEY FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT

THEYRE IN LOVE AND THEYRE HAPPY AND THEYRE TOGETHER AND SOMEONE HELP ME IM GOING TO EXPLODE

LONGE KISSE

HAPPY LONGE KISSE

I HAVE THE HAPPY

THAT'S WHAT WE MUST LEARN

WHETHER ITS SAD OR HAPPY

LET IT HAPPEN NATURALLY

WE MIGHT NEED DESTINY, WE MIGHT NEED TO SAY A PRAYER, WE MIGHT NEED TIME, I STILL NEED TO DISCOVER

LOVE MENTIONED IN A SONG, LET IT PLAY, ONE DAY WE'LL KNOW, JUST LET IT GROW

sorry the msp brainrot is too strong

THE FREAKING FLASHBACKS WHAT THE HELL

THAT WAS WONDERFUL

FREAKING INCREDIBLE

okay now i need to prepare myself for the eclipse preview

goodness gracious im not gonna be okay

im already Not At All Okay, but its gonna be worse in a sec

sorry i just need to take some deep breaths

aaaaaaaaaaaa

okay im ready

(im not ready but i have to watch this)

oh holy hell im already about to have a breakdown

theyre on bikes

they have HATS with the SYMBOL on them

I WANT THOSE HATS

THEYRE STARING AT EACH OTHER INTENTLY

THEYRE SO FREAKING IN LOVE

THEYRE KISSING

akk's waking up from a dream

"are you up, shortstop" HANG ON DID THEY SWITCH THE NICKNAMES????

"shortstop my *ss. you're shortstop" THATS WHAT I SAID

oh nooooo pls dont do a wat/sani thing, pls

do wat/namo

i want puwin's characters to be happy and gay

and sani is a teacher

its problematic

i mean it could be worse but i dont like it

OMG KAN STARING AT THUA

"i thought you wouldnt come" UM FLASHBACKS FROM THAT LINE??? JEEZ THAT SCARED ME

omg cowboy hats

cowboys

i love them

help

im not good

help help

my boys

THEY KISSE

HEEEEEELLLLLPPPP

THOSE LIKE 30 SECONDS ARE GONNA MAKE ME CRY HARDER THAN THE FREAKING SUNFLOWER RING

im rewatching that every single day

help

NEXT WEEK

THEYRE COMING BACK NEXT WEEK

IDK WHAT TO DO WITH MY ARMS AND HANDS

I HAVE TO KEEP TAKING THEM AWAY FROM MY KEYBOARD TO STIM

HELP

AKKAYAN ARE COMING BACK

AND SO ARE THUAKAN

AND IM GONNA GET TO SEE MY WIFE AGAIN

AND THE COMFORT CHARACTER THAT IS WAT

AND THE COMFORT CHARACTER THAT IS KAN

AND THE COMFORT CHARACTER THAT IS THUA

AND THE COMFORT CHARACTER THAT IS SANI AKA MY WIFE

AND THE COMFORT CHARACTER THAT IS AKK

AND THE COMFORT CHARACTER THAT IS AYE

WOAH BIG SURPRISE THEYRE ALL MY COMFORT CHARACTERS BECAUSE ITS MY COMFORT SHOW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[screampied]

well, hello there. (read as lady dimitrescu’s voice)

ok, vegas, you interacted with my account…again. love, i think you’re ought to find out who i am before we can even smell october 1st. so cute that you think i’m sweet, because whenever i re-read what i wrote for you im like “oh, that’s not…that’s weird”. i also think you are very sweet! i’m intimidated with people, so indeed i took the opportunity of being high and loose and approachable to send you that first ask.

i think being a whore for ghostface is as easy as saying it’s name. the masks stays on!! do i mean sex or the killing? both? yes. hm, moving along, what’s you favorite ghostface? mine would be stu and jill.

oh, oHH. ok but toji removing the mask, slowly, and the first thing you see is his scarred lips with that smirk. like stfu, i’ll show him a scream. and geto. that man is my lawfully husband, and picturing him with that knife is doing stuff to me. blood on his face, like in hidden inventory, passing his thumb to try and clean it…mshdhdjdjdk fainted

sam as ghostface would’ve been predictable, but it would still be cool. i think they could take a different approach with her. while everyone is scared shitless because a knew killer has show up, she would be excited because-well, she can kill now. again and again, with the excuse of saving her friends and sister. maybe might even kill someone by “mistake” who knows. i think it would be nice, i like the idea of the good character going a lil crazy crazy.

the thing about sidney is that they won’t have the courage to kill her. literal mother of the final girls. but… dale? yeah, i’m bracing myself and praying for her poor little soul.

yes!! they were right in what they did and the ones that loses are the directors. the movie won’t do good at all without them, so must likely they will comeback, as we say in my country, “the sorry dog comes back” as in the directors are the sorry dog, with tail in between their legs.

between cars and bikes im more inclined to cars, but bikers and drivers? ugh, i’m sold to the bikers. sukuna is the type of guy to go to street races just for the fun of nearly dying (in a modern world, of course). i picture a red vintage car with black flames draw in it. oh he would so sexy, he is sexy. others i can see in street race is toji (of course, he bets all the time) and suguru. idk this trinity can have me anytime any day anywhere.

SHUT UP HUNGER GAMES IS SO FUCKING COOL

i used to be a divergent person, but hunger games has grow in my heart. finnick and peeta forever the best boys, suzanne collins cooked with them. and then she fucking burned it with finnick’s. still not over it, how come gale is alive???

jokes aside, i actually fuck with her writing so much, because it’s true, there is no actual victory in a war, we lose too much to be able to live through it. too much nightmares and death.

i’m reading a fanfic set in the hunger games universe, nearly as many words as in the bible, and it’s so fucking good. the author wrote the aftermath of the games perfectly, the rebellion, missions, the games itself. it’s everything.

yapping is done, question of the day is favorite movie and favorite music? see ya!!

nut anon

SLLLAAAY

nutty pook i rly enjoy our long chats i just wanna let u know that 🫡. also the lady dimitrescu voice ????? stawp. do you play resident evil oh now that game is my shit.

LOLLLL DID I. i swear it’s not intentional man. maybe it’s fate 🧿🧿 you think im sweet omg ty AAAAH.

sex with ghostface where the mask stays on is actually cry FUCKKK IM GONNA WRITE THAT. october is gonna bring out the slut in my writing istg. ooooh my fav ghostface ?? probably jill and roman. i love amber too, but billy ofc.

GHOSTFACE TOJIIII DONT DO THIS TO ME. he’s so do that, don’t mind me im writing this down 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️. real they can’t kill the baddest bitch, the whole franchise is nothing without mother.

sukuna as a street racer ID CREEWWAM. i literally saw a sukuna car at the race i went to. i had many interesting thoughts ……. kuna def bets ur so right, toji too with his broke ass.

KEKFLGLHL I LOVE THG ITS SO GOOD. do you like the movies or books better? i like the books but the movies slap

fav movie uhhhhh legally blond, fav music psychedelic pop and indie !!!!

[ubemango]

could you give pups!couple a pregnancy scare, pls I’m on my knees

Why do we like to stress out oc!!!!!! 😩

.

.

.

nyway Im gonna write this in a lazy way bc I dont wanna think about formally writing a drabble LOL. (Added note: for some god awful reason I decided to switch from using the term oc to straight up just using the second person POV hahhdjwjwhHWUQIWIEHEH anyway sorry)

I can imagine oc isn’t too phased by being late on their period bc it’s happened before--probably missing like 2-5 days and it coming like no problem. But this time it’s a week and a half late and they’re slowly like..................... O_O. Ok maybe...... maybe we are in Trouble. And they text Namjoon and they’re like

HELLAO BIG PROBLEM BIG WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Namjoon texts back like

what’su p :D why are u screaming?

and oc says CALL ME NEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

and see ok the thing with oc and their texting is that it doesn’t translate to theior actual physical reaction so naturally when oc picks up the phone when Joon calls they’re like “hi babe n_n”, Just very calm and very. Idk not really that phased and Joon is like “What did you wanna talk about?” and oc straight up just goes:

“I might be the 1%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

and it’s so got dam VAGUE and Joon is like !???!?!1 please explain?!?!?! and oc is like

“Do you know what it’s like to potentially be the bearer of the Second Coming of Christ.”

“Okay please be serious now.”

“Pregnant!!!! With a hard P!”

Namjoon goes :O ohhhhhh…….. okay well I guess you take a pregnancy test then huh.

And oc just like.

“You’re not scared?”

“I know if you don’t do this pragmatically then you might lose it.”

Which is true. You could hate Namjoon for being logical in a moment like this but you secretly are just one more thought of babies away from screaming and crying.

So.

He tells you he’ll be with u in like an hour to get the stuff u need and u sit on the bathroom floor with a blanket around u because the one inch barrier of cotton protects you from all the bad stuff. Luckily your parents aren’t home and Namjoon comes barreling through the front door (exactly an hour later like he said—also he used the key you gave him bc he’s welcome here anytime which makes u feel all giddy) and you can hear him make a beeline up the stairs to the bathroom door. He opens it and he just has a plastic bag that he immediately drops to the ground and he kneels down in front of u n scoops u in his arms and just…. Cradles you like a giant baby 😭😭😭 then You just completely forget why he came there in the first place and he’s kissing u all over ur face n telling u ur silly n that he loves you forever n then it’s like 20 mins later n ur like oh :) guess I should pee on this stick huh

And he watches u take a pee pee bc u need the moral support LOL and eventually it’s down to when ur waiting for that fawking line on the test. And to pass the time Namjoon joins you when u make a home of ur blanket again and digs through the plastic bag and is like look I got u chocolate : ) n u share the pieces and it’s a little melted in the plastic but wow still yummy!!!! Eating snacks with my lover on the bathroom floor, so romantic!

But then Namjoon's gaze just kind of glosses over and he holds your hand. Gives a you a little smile.

"You know I'm always here for you. Right?"

Fear strikes you in your heart. You think of a horrible future where he's not here with you anymore. No spare key to give out. Whatever space you've carved out for him is his alone to occupy. No one could ever replace him.

And you can't help your sniffling!!! You really can't!!!!!!!!!!! He just makes you feel so safe and loved and his face crumbles instantaneously thinking you're upset. He crushes you against his chest in a hug.

He's cooing, petting your head. "Why are you crying? You're my girl, silly."

"I just feel stupid!!!"

You want to articulate how much you adore him. But instead you just crawl into his lap and physically try to manifest your body melting into his. You only go as far as sticking your arms under his armpits and hugging him back as tight as you can before he starts laughing.

"You're not stupid. People fuck and get pregnant all the time."

"Ugh." He's stupidly warm against you. "That's so--I hate how that works."

"Reproduction?"

"Yeah. Like why can't we just keep all the sexiness and skip the babies?" You groan, wiping your eyes. Namjoon flicks your forehead. "Wha--"

"You should check what the tests say now," he reminds you, and you pause. Oh. Right.

You get up and take those few tentative steps to where the tests lie on the bathroom sink. Lean over carefully with both your eyes closed. You take a second to steel yourself. Then you look.

No second line.

You immediately walk back to where Namjoon is cocooned and start throttling his neck.

"How!!!! Dare!!!! You!!!!!!!!! Threaten!!!! My!!!!!!! Uterus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With your stupid stupid sperm!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He's cackling. You almost had a heart attack and he's cackling. Of course he is. Namjoon can be serious when he needs to be, but he's also evil and will make fun of you the second he thinks he can do so without too much repercussion.

"Ow. Ow! Let go of me!"

You leave him with a smack to the head.

"I'm going to kill you," you threaten.

Namjoon stands up with an amused scoff, making use of his height to get you to cower. You don't budge. He sighs, opening his arms.

"I promise not to give you loads upon loads next time," he says.

You cave immediately. Collapsing into his chest a second time, your home. "You better not."