#so i'm gonna make one about snails

[scentedinksandwhackedseals]

i'm making a presentation for a friend's birthday party and remembering how much i hate making presentations.

[snailchimera]

you know in some ways the new pokemon games *are* a marked improvement

think I just accidentally deeply annoyed someone via the following set of events:

playing Alpha Sapphire, doing trades before the wifi servers shut down

saw someone looking for Pokemon Y exclusives

showed them an Electrike

they never put anything else up so I figured they didn't want the Electrike

took forever trying to find other Y exclusives because I don't know what pokemon are Y exclusive off the top of my head

connection cut out, this one I think was accidental

after the connection cut out I put up a shoutout message asking if anyone wanted a Keldeo

Someone offers to trade with me

I don't notice it's the same person and assume they want the keldeo

they do not want the keldeo

however I am now locked into the keldeo

this also means I can't quit the trade

connection cut out, this time on purpose I think (I should have thought to do that)

tried to start a trade with them again

it times out

tried again

this time it was declined immediately

ScarVi may be buggy and unpolished at times, but at least it's never done that to me.

[indigo6f00ff]

funny update a couple of months later for People Who Want to Know: i dont have the car that got me into this Incredibly Minor Accident anymore. while after the accident, i did have to get the brakes serviced (wow, they were faulty, who knew!), it proceeded to have Several More Issues, such as: the transmission being fucked up and Trouble With Turns. i still drove it regardless because i needed that shit to get to college but eventually the radiator fan stopped working on it (where it would start overheating if the car wasn't moving (if the car was moving then air could still blow over the engine, cooling it down)) and My Mother deemed it too dangerous to drive. RIP to the shitty 2012 jeep liberty hand-me-down with 200k miles that led to the creation of the Kim Moment(TM).

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[slushycoookie]

Kinktober Day 12 ~ Sexting

Logan Howlett x AFAB! Reader

Summary: Logan decides to text you before going to sleep.

A/N: A shorter one, but I still got the job done. Enjoy!

Prev *✧･ﾟ: Next Kinktober '24 Masterlist

Logan was tired.

The mission with Wade ended up lasting all day. He dealt with smugglers handling an illegal drug. Instead of taking another 12+ hour drive back home, his partner suggested staying at a motel. Of course, there was only one bed, but Logan decided to crash into a mildly comfortable sofa chair.

Despite the mess, his night immediately got better when he received a message from you telling him to stay safe.

‘What are you doing, sweetheart?’

‘Missing you…’

He grins a little, ‘Yeah, I miss you too. Wish I was in bed with you and not with this dumbass.’

You send him a crying emoji.

‘Be nice.’ Logan rolls his eyes. ‘I wish you were here too. Lying in bed with me.’

‘Holding you, kissing that pretty face.’

‘Such a charmer.’

Logan then glances at Wade, who’s sound asleep while snuggling with his miniature stuffed unicorn.

‘What ya wearing right now?’

‘Your shirt. It smells like you. All manly.’

‘Just my shirt? I know you have underwear on.’

Logan can imagine you rolling your eyes now.

‘Yes, I'm wearing underwear.’

‘What color?’

‘Black.’

‘Mm yeah, I'd take that off. So you’re only in my shirt.’

‘Logan…’

‘What?’

He shifts in his seat, pulling out the recliner part of the chair while watching the three dots dance at the bottom of the screen.

‘Where are you right now?’

‘In a big ass chair. Not the most comfortable but it’ll do. Why? It’s just me and you.’

‘In that case…’

Logan smirks at the picture you sent of you carrying your panties on the tip of your finger, still wearing his shirt.

‘What would you do to me now?’

‘Press that lovely body of yours against me and finger that pretty pussy.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah. Pump my fingers inside and take in how fucking delicious you smell.’

Logan feels his cock starting to strain against his boxers. He ignores it for now, wanting to keep talking to you.

‘What do I smell like?’

He bit his lip while recalling the memory, ‘Sweet. It’s fucking delicious.’

‘Damn…’ He releases a low growl, swiveling his hips to provide some release. ‘I wish you could feel how wet I am for you…’

Logan wishes he could, too, as he thinks about pumping his fingers into you. He knows you are drenched and doesn’t hesitate to taste you when sucking on his fingers.

‘I could take the car. Break the speed limit so I can fuck you into our bed.’

‘Don’t leave Wade stranded like that.’

Even when the merc with a mouth is asleep, the motherfucker keeps cock blocking him.

‘I know, I know. I just miss you, sweetheart.’

‘I miss you too… Take this to hold you over.’

After a couple of minutes, he gets a picture of you completely naked, lying under his shirt and gazing at him with a sexy look. Breasts laid along you beautifully, that soft stomach he loves, and a bush of hair that connects him to his prize. Logan bites his lip at his erection, deciding to torture himself and wait a little while longer. But he desperately wants to go through that phone.

‘Fuck me…Gonna make sure you can't walk now.’

‘I'm counting on it.’

Tags:

@fandomfics @freythecrazyfae @maddyperezzzsstuff

@mynamesstevenwithav @eyes-ofhell @maxad99

@howlingco @cherrypieyourface @snails-doodles22

@siren-141 @nega-omega @sweetimpurity

@hehekittyhawk @spencerswh0r3 @saintdiior

@maliaofthevalley @wolverigrl @pigeonmama

@shybluebirdninja @tomie-it-girl @antishadow2021

@honey-and-olives @yxtkiwiyxt @wtfhasmy-lifecometo

@ripleyswife @davidboqie @angelic-sturniolos111

@golden-ebony @ethanhoewke @marit332

[bellyyearner]

Office life at 550+ lbs

Word count: 1061

Extreme obesity, mobility issues, work environment, feedee perspective

No gender mentioned POV

Being a working feedee is hard sometimes, especially when your gain slows down to a snails pace despite how much you've been eating. In the last 3 years you've only put on another 40lbs, but you have an easy job that pays the bills and allows you to live comfortably so you can't complain too much. The only part of this job you hate though, is the journey inside.

As you exit your car you can already feel the sweat forming between your rolls, it's been taking a few tries lately to stand up after swinging your hefty left leg out onto the concrete. You've even questioned if you should bring your car to the shop to check the suspension just in case your fat ass crashing back down onto the driver seat a half dozen times a day might be causing issues. At the very least you were thankful for your personal parking spot only being about 250ft from the elevator up to the office floor. Only 100ft from the buildings entrance and the cold AC running throughout the building.

And so you begin your slow pendulous waddle, thighs scraping against each other with every step, causing so much friction your jeans always have a distinct wear pattern only a couple weeks after buying them. One foot infront the other you waddle, repeating the laboured motion as your breath grows heavy and your belly slaps against the tops of your thighs. Halfway to the door now you hear the clicking of heels against the concrete, 2 interns whizzing by you without a word. You can't even imagine moving as fast as they do, or why they'd even want to move that fast in the first place. Your sense of urgency left you a couple hundred pounds ago.

Another 20 heavy steps later you reach the door, a mailman on the other side who was about to leave opens it for you, clearly staring at your mammoth size and brow covered in sweat. You make it inside and can barely catch your breath to say thank you before he's gone. The AC graces your hot sweaty skin and you feel relief, you spot your double wide chair HR had fought to get installed for you last year, and plop down on it with a huff. All there's left to do is catch your breath for a couple minutes, walk 60 steps through the lobby, turn right, walk 10 steps to the elevator, a minute of standing, and another 30 steps to your cubicle. Where you will then chow down on a couple snacks you brought and rehydrate before looking at spreadsheets and grazing on more food for 8 hours. A routine you had grown so accustomed to that it became second nature.

You look at the handle bar bolted into the wall and remember when you found it insulting, but now it was a necessity. Gripping the bar you start to stand hoping a second try isn't needed because of how many people were in the lobby. You can feel your heart quake and your knees whine but thankfully you hauled your lard laden ass off the seat in one attempt.

The second journey begins and the heavy waddle ensues, gut bouncing, thighs scraping, mouth open and breathing loudly enough that you're attracting attention. You try to ignore their stares but it's only fueling your appetite, already making a mental list of what you're going to grab from the vending machine once you get off the elevator. A few minutes later you round the corner and take the final few steps only to notice a sign on the elevator. You can't read it yet but you can feel your heart sinking already. It can't be right? They would've told you. They would've sent an email or a text. "Out of order".

Panic sets in, you can't climb 4 flights of stairs, you bought a one story house for good reason, you haven't had to climb more than a curb in years at this point. Your mind is growing frantic as you feel the burden your legs are under grow stronger, anticipating if you're really gonna be expected to climb the stairs.

Your phone buzzes, a text from Susy in HR

"Hey! I'm so sorry 'your name', this just happened like an hour ago and I totally forgot to tell you. The elevator is having some major issues and we don't know when it'll be fixed. I dug up that old paper work you filed 6 months ago about work from home and I'm gonna push it through asap! I've sent Lucy downstairs with a work laptop for you to bring home, just take a couple days off while we get all the paperwork in order."

Relief washes over you as you hear the distinct clicking of heels coming down the stairs. You steady your breath and try to seem unfazed, almost certain you look ridiculous.

Lucy: "Hey 'your name', here's your laptop and a cherry cola, figured you would need it before heading back to your car ;). You know I'm gonna miss seeing you around here, less stuff to talk about and no one to gawk at. You have my number so just let me know if you need me to come over to help you adjust"

A quick farewell and her heels were clicking back up the stairs, but all you could think about was how you're never gonna see the inside of that office again. With no where to go and no decency to be upheld there was no reason you wouldn't finally break 600lbs. You chug the Cola, wanting to make one final show for the coworkers and acquaintances you've made over the years, and start the final journey, one to immobility.

With a gassy belly swaying from side to side, your humongous thighs atop fattened lard laden calves carry you through the lobby one last time. Not even trying to hide your burps and groans you walk out of the building, skipping the chair by the door you once saw as a refuge. Thoughts of what takeout you're gonna get delivered and a quickly growing Walmart order forming in your mind as you slowly waddle through the parking lot one last time. All fueled by the dream of being an immobile work from home piggy

Part 2

[toomuchracket]

caffeine overload (barista matty x reader smut)

promptober. this is so soft!! i almost cried writing!! enjoy <3

you wake up to an aching body and an empty bed.

it's the latter that bugs you most, though - it's 10am on a sunday, matty's day off, you're in his bed, and he's nowhere to be found. wincing as you do, you reach towards his side of the bed, only to discover the sheets - while rumpled - are cold; he's been up for a while.

bastard. what's the point of having a boyfriend with nice arms if you can't wake up in them?

fuck it. you might as well get up and find him. plus, your throat is dry, the kind of soreness that can only be achieved by drinking copious amounts of vodka-based concoctions, the kind of soreness that can only be alleviated by drinking a pint of cold water in one go. with great effort, you pull yourself out of bed and matty's sweatshirt over your head, shuffling out of the bedroom at a snail's pace. when you reach the hallway, you speed up slightly as the smell of fresh coffee wafts its way to you from the kitchen, the promise of both caffeine and matty spurring you on.

stepping onto the tiled floor in bare feet makes you hiss, which in turn makes matty look up. he's at the breakfast bar, reading a book - one you gave to him in recommendation, actually - and he smiles softly as soon as he sees you. god, he's beautiful. “hi, baby,” his voice is even softer than his face. “y’alright?”

“no.”

“no?” he looks panicked, rushing to you and gently holding your face. “you're not feeling well?”

“no, i don't even have a headache,” you wrap your arms around his waist, smushing your face into him. “i'm not alright because you weren't in bed when i woke up,” tilting your head, you give him the sad eyes - slight overkill, maybe, but you secretly love playing into the girlfriend role like this. “wanted a cuddle.”

“oh, darling,” matty's face softens again, and he moves his arms around your shoulders to hug you properly. “m'sorry, sweet girl. i just figured you'd maybe want to sleep for a while, and i could go and make coffee for you waking up.”

you pull back slightly, brows raised in interest. “is there coffee for me?”

he kisses your nose. “coffee and a cookie in the oven.”

“you're a dream, healy.”

“i try. sit down, darling, i'll get you breakfast,” matty drops a kiss onto the top of your head as you oblige, perching yourself on a stool while he faffs about with the fancy coffee machine you think is both slightly pointless (his coffee shop is literally downstairs) and scary to use by yourself (why on earth are there so many buttons?). “so,” he slides you a big glass of water, which you gulp down eagerly. “how are you genuinely feeling this morning?”

“so, so tired,” as if to prove your point, you yawn. “but my head is fine, and i don't feel pukey. my limbs are aching, though. like, proper sore.”

“well, that's what happens when you dance for three straight hours, sweetheart.”

the smile in his voice is obvious. you glare at his (very nice-looking) back. “m'never going anywhere run by your friends ever again.”

“nah, ross said you and the girls were great fun. you're welcome back anytime, apparently.”

still, you grumble. “can't believe you didn't tell me it was his bar,” you sip your water. “or that he was so attractive. i mean, really, one friend group should not contain so many good-looking people. s'unfair.”

matty cackles. “i'm gonna tell the girls you said that.”

“no, they agreed. we had this discussion yesterday. they're all in love with ross, now.”

he winces. “i don't think any of them would be able to handle ross,” matty turns to face you. “even you might struggle, to be honest.”

your eyes widen. “oh, you mean, like…?”

“oh, yeah. he's a proper dom, that one,” matty winks. “not like either of us.”

interesting. “have the two of you ever-”

“fucked? nah.”

you roll your eyes. “i was gonna say shared someone, but alright.”

“haven't done that either,” the oven beeps, and matty carefully removes the delicious-smelling chocolate-chip treat, before smirking at you. “why? you interested?”

you shrug. “maybe. if everyone wants to. i don't mind.”

“i can ask him - careful with that, it's hot,” your boyfriend slides the cookie and a set of cutlery to you, which you excitedly thank him for before tucking in. “he thinks you're fit, so he might be up for it.”

“he does?”

“told me last night that he ‘understands why i've been spending all my time with you,’” matty smiles, pouring espresso and oat milk into a mug. “you know, when you phoned me at half 11 to come and pick you up because you missed me too much.”

“shut up,” you can feel your cheeks burning. “too many people were ordering espresso martinis. it made me miss you.”

he reaches across to caress your cheek. “oh, my sweet, clingy girl. you're so weird.”

“you literally make the cold brew that goes into them. it would be weird if i didn't think about you when someone got one,” you take the final bite of your cookie. “and don't you try to pretend you didn't absolutely love me calling you. could hear you smiling from all the way down the street.”

“yeah, i did love it. i love being your boyfriend, and getting to take care of you,” while you swoon, he places a latte in front of you, foam art designed in a heart shape. “speaking of, d'you want a shower? might help your post-dancing pains.”

“ooh, yeah,” you sip your coffee, sighing happily. “can i hop in now?”

“of course, darling,” matty smiles when you kiss his cheek; his brow furrows when you get up to leave the room, though. “you're taking the latte with you?”

“why wouldn't i?”

he shakes his head. “you really are weird, darling.”

“and you're into me regardless,” you wink, and he giggles. it's adorable. “i won't be long, babe.”

true to your word, you're out in fifteen minutes, body soothed by the combination of hot water and matty’s shower gel. once you're dry, clad in his jumper and boxers, you pad through to the living room and climb onto his lap on the sofa. “hi.”

“hi, baby,” matty kisses your head, reaching to mute the tv before wrapping his arms around you. “feeling better?”

“yeah. still a bit tired, but-”

“oh, i can help with that,” he lets go of you long enough to hand you a full, steaming mug of coffee from the little table beside you. “started making it when i heard the shower turn off.”

“you're so sweet, matthew,” you coo, taking a long drink of the coffee before kissing your boyfriend on the cheek. “making me coffee, putting the fire on, buying me cleanser and moisturiser to keep here - that was really thoughtful, by the way, angel. thank you.”

he giggles, hiding his face in your neck. “i just like making you happy.”

“you're really good at it,” once you've laid the coffee back on the table, your hands find their way onto matty's face. “and you're so pretty!”

“oh, shush,” he rolls his eyes, cheeks warming under your hands. “you're the pretty one, we both know this.”

“mmmm, no.”

“mmmm, yeah.”

“no, you're-”

“cookie, my darling, you're not winning this argument. trust me, babe,” matty leans back, eyes raking up and down your body in a not-particularly-PG-but-very-sexy manner. “especially not when you're wearing my clothes.”

“you like it when i do that?”

“fuck, yeah,” he grins, cheeky. “s'my favourite look of yours. well,” he corrects himself. “second favourite.”

“the first's when i'm naked, isn't it?”

“is it creepy if i say yes?”

“matty, you're my boyfriend,” you roll your eyes. “i want you to like it when i'm naked.”

he presses his forehead to yours. “i love it.”

“yeah?”

“yeah,” his lips meet your forehead, your nose, your lips - the kiss is quick, but as good as ever. “you're fucking gorgeous. like, sex thoughts aside… you just look so beautiful when you're not wearing anything. i mean, you're always beautiful, but,” he smiles against your lips. “i think you're really stunning when you're at your barest like that. dunno if it's a trust thing, or just to do with how deeply i feel for you anyway, but… yeah.”

jesus. you're not a believer in the concept of absolute perfection, but matty definitely comes pretty bloody close; you'd give him that accolade for the way he kisses you back alone. detaching your lips when you risk getting too lightheaded, you giggle softly into him, a sound he copies. “you're my favourite, you know,” you kiss him again, smiling against him when he moans into your mouth. “and if you wanted to see me naked right now… i'd be quite up for that.”

matty smiles. “thought you were tired, darling?”

“nuh-uh,” you shake your head. “the caffeine's done its job. maybe a little bit too well, actually,” another kiss. “i want you, matty.”

he groans, burrowing his head into your neck; you join in with the chorus when his lips meet the soft skin there. “how do you want it, cookie?”

“i want - oh, fuck,” you whimper, hand coming up to clutch your boyfriend's hair as he nips at your neck. “want it on the floor…”

“dirty girl.”

“... in front of the fire,” the words come out as a strangled groan, matty sucking marks onto your body sending heat flooding within it. “want you deep, and slow, and filling me up. yes,” you cut him off, noticing his mouth opening as if to talk. “i want you to cum inside me.”

“i thought you didn't like that?”

“no, i didn't like it with anyone else,” you bite your lip, well aware of what you're about to say. “but you… i think you should mark what's yours.”

“god,” matty's voice is shaky, more breath than sound. his forehead meets your shoulder, and you smile as you caress the back of his head while he inhales deeply. sweet boy.

the sweetness doesn't last long, though - he hooks his hands under your arse and lifts you, still biting at your neck as he carries you to the soft rug in front of the fire. you've been obsessed with matty's fireplace since the first time you saw it, fascinated by the crackling flames illuminating and warming up the room; they're very reminiscent of how matty lights you up, and manages to send heat coursing through your body. like now, for instance, as he kneels to carefully lay you down on the fabric and his thumbs find the waistband on your shorts on their way back round to the front of your body… yeah, you're turned on.

and he knows it, the little shit, grinning stupidly when you bite your lip. “alright, cookie?”

you pout. “matty…”

“yeah, darling?” he kisses your nose, and a fresh set of butterflies take off within you. “what d'you want?”

“please take my clothes off,” you roll your hips up into his, biting your lip when he groans softly. “and yours. wanna see you.”

matty coos, leaning back to pull his t-shirt over his head. the fabric is thrown onto the sofa, closely followed by your (well, his) sweatshirt, and he beams at the sight of your bare chest. “perfect girl.”

“pretty boy,” you rake your nails down matty's chest, just hard enough to make him moan, hooking them into the waistband of his sweatpants. “can i?”

“please, yeah.”

“mmmkay,” you slide the grey fabric down, beaming when matty moves to kick it off his legs and you see what's underneath - which is, to say, absolutely nothing. “matthew, you little slut.”

“says the woman begging me to get her naked,” he retorts, pulling your shorts off and pushing your legs back; his pupils dilate at the sight of your glistening core. “fuck, cookie, is this all for me?”

you nod enthusiastically. “all of it,” your voice is breathy with desperation, words turning to a wanton moan as you watch matty stroke himself while he looks at you. “take what's yours, please. put it in, baby, ple- oh, just like that.”

“oh my god,” matty slowly pushes into you, moving to rest on his elbows at either side of your head. his forehead rests against yours, chests pressed together and breathing slowly in tandem as he finally bottoms out; it's the most intimate the two of you have been with each other so far, and - in the best possible way, of course - you're feeling a little bit overwhelmed. matty being matty, lovely and attentive, he notices, shifting his weight onto one elbow so he can softly stroke your cheek. “you alright, my girl?”

you nod. “yeah, angel. just full.”

your heart, too.

“d'you need a minute like this, darling?”

“if that's okay,” you kiss his nose. “like having you close to me.”

matty beams, and it makes your heart feel funny. “so do i. we'll stay like this as long as you want.”

“thank you,” you smile, lightly scratching his scalp the way he likes. “can i have a kiss, please?”

he doesn't answer. instead, matty presses his lips to yours, tongue languid as it traces across your cupid's bow and licks into your mouth when you open it in a soft moan. it's just as passionate as ever, but slow, drawn-out, and just completely ruinous to you; your cunt tightens around him, desperate to be even closer to your boyfriend than you already are, probably as a result of his mouth kissing away any thoughts in your head that aren't him. your hips begin to roll, matty's follow suit, and - still kissing - soon enough, he's fucking you exactly how you wanted him to, slow and deep and so fucking good. 

you're not even sure you can call it fucking, actually, the sex you two are having right now; neither of you have said the important word to each other, yet, but there's really no other way to describe this activity as anything other than lovemaking. not that you've ever done that, or ever actually been in love with anyone, but the word seems like an accurate term for right now, when you feel like you'd die if matty was any further away from you than he currently is, and you’re desperate to make him happy, to make him make those gorgeous little moans that fall from his lips whenever you clench around him or roll your hips just so, to make him kiss you so hard it leaves you both breathless.

he pulls away from your lips slightly after one such kiss, just enough that he can look at you properly; when he does, his face cracks into a gorgeous smile. “hi.”

“hi,” you smile back, caressing his cheekbone. “having fun?”

“s'an understatement,” matty laughs, groaning as he fucks into you again. “only one thing that could make this better for me, actually.”

“s'that?”

he ducks his head down, licking a long stripe up your neck to your lips. “you letting me make you cum.”

fuck. “yes, please.”

another kiss, a smile against your lips. “so good for me. cum whenever you're ready, yeah?”

you smirk. “you don't want me to beg?”

matty shakes his head. “not today, cookie. want you to take what you deserve.”

“okay,” you kiss him, moaning into his open mouth when a calloused thumb finds your clit, circling with practised precision. “fuck, baby, you're so good,” the two layers of stimulation feel amazing, proven by you audibly getting wetter as matty keeps thrusting, slow and deep and sexy. “so fucking good.”

“love feeling you like this,” your boyfriend groans, burrowing his head into your neck. “could stay like this forever. and i would, if you wanted me to,” he kisses your neck, gentle, before moving to look at you again. those pretty eyes of his are hazy, his cheeks are flushed, and he's never looked more beautiful. “i'd do anything for you, darling.”

the overwhelming intimacy of the morning reaches breaking point; so do you, imminent orgasm the only thing preventing you from giving in and saying the word that's been dancing on the tip of your tongue whenever you've so much as thought about matty lately. instead, you cling to him, whispering against his lips. “m'so close.”

matty whines, hips and hand keeping up their movements, despite the fact you can feel him shaking above you. “c'mon, cookie,” his words are punctuated with kisses, desperate liplocks that you can't quite decide are meant to fuel him or tip you over the edge. both, probably. “let go for me, my darling. give in, let me give you what you deserve, perfect girl.”

that's all you need.

“fuck, matty,” you press your face into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, whimpering into his sweaty skin as pleasure careens through your trembling body. it's the strongest orgasm you think you've ever had, every little subsequent aftershock devastating to you; when one of them coincides with matty's orgasm, it actually sets you off fully again, moaning in harmony with him as he pulses heat deep inside you. “oh my god.”

“jesus,” matty groans into your hair, fucking shallower and shallower into you as he stops cumming. once he's done, he practically falls onto you, resting his head on your heaving chest - there's silence for a minute, aside from heavy breathing and the crackling of the fire, and then he lifts his head up to peek at you. “how you feeling, cookie?”

you nod, trying to find the words. “like i just had the best sex i've ever had.”

your boyfriend laughs, leaning up to kiss you sweetly. “i'm feeling the same.”

“really?”

“yeah,” he brushes a bit of hair from your face. “that was really special, baby. meant a lot to me.”

“me too,” you reach up to touch his face, mirroring his action with you. “never felt like this before, y'know. so safe, so cared for,” you smile bashfully. “or so beautiful, actually.”

“oh, darling,” matty kisses your forehead. “m'glad i can make you feel so good. all i wanna do, to be honest.”

“sweet boy,” you smile. “can we stay like this for a while?

he smiles back, and you have to bite your lip from blurting out how you actually feel about him. “of course.”

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.2. BACKSTABBING BITCH

“can i see you tonight? can i see you tomorrow? i want to be your friend. i wanna be more than that. will you love me tomorrow?”

from can i see you tonight? by eyedress, left at calmaart, sakai

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . present day. ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

i'm sorry i feel like the pacing of everything is a little convoluted,, there's not really a lot of timeskips. basically everything after this chapter is also in present day but i just wanted to make that clear <3 and hopefully the intros really clarifies how everyone's relationships changed, for example suna and y/n going from never talking to hanging out more <3

calmaart is a place in japan for street art supplies and clothing with a legal graffiti wall <3

IF YOU WERE HERE FOR THAT STUPID POLL I DID OVER "A" OR "MY" WHERE "MY" WON BUT I CHOSE "A" ANYWAY AND HAD AN ENTIRE CRISIS OVER IT THAT WAS FOR THIS CHAPTER (suna's "you're an angel") BUT THEN THIS ALSO LED TO ONE OF MY FIRST INTERACTIONS WITH @froyaoya WHO HELPED ME THRU THAT ENTIRE CRISIS SO IT WAS A GOOD THING IN THE END IG <3

both y/n and suna are typically people that use their priv accounts for the majority of their tweets. yn uses her public account for mostly photography to maintain an image of professionalism and suna mainly uses his public account for pictures of art and volleyball related things

suna is on yn's private because she lets all of her close friends onto it but she isn't on suna's because he told her it's mainly just the volleyball boys cursing each other out (which is true but most of all he was just scared to have her on it in case he tweeted about her)

y/n definitely skips school to have more available openings in her schedule for photography bookings

whenever she's taking pictures of a couple and they're not looking, she'll take a picture of them and send it to a groupchat with akaashi and kenma and ask if they think the couple's gonna make it or not

they'll spend hours analyzing the red and green flags

omi's the captain of the msby vball team BC I SAID SO

suna asked if he could leave practice early "to study for a test"

they have the same major and omi was like "we don't have an upcoming test."

suna played it off as retaking a previous test he hadn't done well on and omi could no longer be bothered and let him go

suna often stays until closing when he visits y/n at work and will walk her home <3

atsumu and oikawa work together well but in the beginning they had a bit of a rivalry, both being well known setters and they've just kind of continued to be slightly passive aggressive towards each other but get along for the most part

atsumu was locked in the bathroom for an hour until bokuto asked oikawa if they could let him out so he could shower

also not sure if i've said this but everyone is in their second year of college (not super important but just to avoid future plot holes)

taglist: @0moonii @iluvmang @bluebeanbee @wyrcan @oyasumeii @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 @wolffmaiden @rockleeisbaeeee @toges-cough-syrup @cnnmairoll @ryeyeyer @hibernatinghamster @localgaytrainwreck @lemonocity @bows4life @sereniteav @madiexuberant @eclecticeggknightpsychic @phoenix-eclipses @sonicsolos @httpakkeiji @brkfclub @snail-squasher @starry-magicshop @cr4yolaas @kitnootkat @zzzlevislothzzz @iluv-ace @iluvaquaphor @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @applepi25 @twiishaa @girlkissersco @sleepystrwbrryy @encrypta

[localkiss]

GIVE US MORE RE2 LEON OMGG... THE PRACTICING ARRESTING ON YOU AND THAT IT HAS PROBABLY LEAD TO HANDCUFFED SEX AT LEAST ONCE? Heheheh, sorry, that was honestly a nice idea though!

RPing with Leon as a criminal and he has to do a body check on you and cuffs you up <3

And if you don't struggle you get your pussy ate but if you do you're getting absolutely ruined. Talking a little slapping and spanking, deep throating him, etc.

Sorry, I'm just all over that part so badly!

omg he definitely would handcuff your hands behind his back so you can't get off of his dick!! HE'S SO MEAN SOMETIMES ☹️💔!!!

"Really gotta take me in deep so I know you aren't hiding any weapons in your throat, missy." He forces your head down, absolutely enamored with the way you whine and sputter around his cock. Holds you there for a few seconds before grabbing you off and opening your mouth. Checking it with his own eyes too.

You think he's gonna make you deep throat him again but he just spits in your mouth. It drips down your throat and you're forced to swallow with a cough.

Lolling your tongue out, you act the part of a criminal and show this policeman you're not hiding shit. But, Leon sort of cracks in the roleplay and wipes away your tears with his thumb. Silently saying that he's sorry for pushing you down too hard.

Pulls you up gently to only smash his lips onto yours. Your hands are still handcuffed around his back and you tug with a whine. Wanting to feel his hair and his arms while you swap spit with one another.

Leon's dick makes contact with your naked chest, smearing a sticky white liquid where ever the tip goes. Following like a snail trail. If he were a snail, you'd love him forever. I mean, it honestly wouldn't be different from now.

He slowly stops the kiss to bring your face back down to his throbbing cock, begging to be warmed by your throat again. You're truly an addiction, he can't ever get enough of you. Always wanting more and more. If he could bring you to the station, he most definitely would!

Have a cute little spot for you under his desk. Adorned with your fuzzy blue blanket and a squishmallow or two.. or three. But knowing you, you'd sneak your little hands under his pants and cock warm him. Get him all distracted and horny like a teenager.

"Please baby," he groans, bucking his hips up into your mouth gently. Even if he is horny as all hell, he will try to be gentle with you. You're fragile, until you ask for it rough. Then, he goes all in until you're crying his name and screaming so much that you guys get another noise complaint. Oh well.

Leon pets your hair, carding his fingers through it. His sweaty fingertips catching onto your hair strands and breaking a few. It's whatever. Nothing new. "Yeah, just like that princess. Fuck, nice and slow..."

He's already forgotten about the roleplay. Swirling down the drain. So long criminal!

Eyes shut and head tilted back, exposing his adams apple and his vampire bite freckles on his neck. Suckling him harder, you bury your face down into his abs. Feeling them twitch and spazz underneath your nose. Drooling out of the corner of your lips, getting it real messy. The way he likes it.

Probably likes it too much since he's cumming down your throat. Shooting sticky white ropes, groaning as he holds your head in place.

"There. Think there aren't any weapons there. We've still got to check one more place, yeah? Be a good girl and stay there while I redo your cuffs, 'kay?"

Welp. Looks like he hasn't forgotten. Guess your pussy will be searched thoroughly next.

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine being the only person the King is protective of

King: What's wrong? I thought you were going to go to bed.

You: *has your arms wrapped around yourself for comfort* I... I was... but when I got there I could tell someone was or had been in there without my permission.

King: It was probably Yamato, that boy lives in the walls like a rat.

You: I know he does, but I can tell it wasn't him.... who ever it was, I could smell them all over my room, even on my sheets. I think it was a man, based off the smell.

King: What do you mean it was on your sheets?

You: well, when I entered my room I could kind of smell them, and I kinda figured it was just some servant, but then flopped down on my bed.

King: you shouldn't flop.

You: *ignored him* and I could smell them on my pillows, and my blankets, and even my stuffed animals. So I glanced around, and the only thing out of place was my closet door.

King: did you check the closet?

You: no, I was afraid someone was waiting for me in there, so I got the hell out of there.

King: I take it you came here to ask me to go check it out for you.

You: *nods*

King: alright, let's go.

At your room

King: *squats down and scuttles into your room* wow, the smell really is quite pungent. *Opens your closet door to find a surveillance snail installed* This can't be good for your snail, they need sunlight and fresh air.

You: I don't own a snail.

King: *notices Queen's embossed insignia haphazardly covered with tape off* he fucking didn't.

You: what?

King: let's check the rest of the room to see if we find any more of these. *Holds up the snail for you to see*

You: *after finding three more snails* who would do this?

King: Don't worry about it, I'll place one of the animal mary's in here when you're not around to make sure this doesn't happen again.

You: thank you, but what are we going to do with all of these guys.

King: leave that too me.

In Queen's lab

Queen: *cracks his knuckles as he sits down at his computer* okay let's see what m spy camera see.

Snails: *in the men's bathhouse*

Queen: *stares at his screen that's covered in hairy asses, before he turns off the entire system* I think I'm gonna throw up.

King: *drops from the rafters* Don't put those in people private rooms, if you do it again I'll alert Kaido.

Queen: ...ugh fine, lesson learned.

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[shomixremix]

Hello! If it's okay, can I make a silly request? (I think they are open? I apologize if they aren't) may I request something fluffy with the immortal characters (which ever you write for) where their s/o is mortal but they've been together so long that their s/o is an old wrinkly person and the s/o gets mistaken for their grandparent? I just want some cute fluff, but everyone writes smut 😫

Eternal love ♡︎

hi anon!! yep, reqs are open!! i'm so sorry for not being here for some time, exam week was hell but i'm back now lovelies!!

idk rlly which immortal characters you meant but i hope it's okay that i chose these two!! and also i know that this is like fluff and all but for some reason this is so sad to me!! like yeah the reader is old and they are immortal but the reader is GONNA DIE AND OH MY GOD THEY'LL BE ALONEEEEEE AND GRIEVEINGGGG i don't deal well with thinking about death so this was a little challenging to write. but fun!! and hehe don't worry anon even though i write smut more i'm always here for fluff!!

hope you lovelies enjoy <3

tags: zhongli, neuvillette, fluff, slight angst, female!senior!reader

-> being in love with an immortal being had its' many perks, and yet, it had it's flaws. you only began to realize those flaws existed once you celebrated your 50th anniversary with your husband.

reqs open ♡︎

-> zhongli

"there you go, love. would you like to rest now? it is way past your usual nap time... you're sure you'd like to stay here?"

your husband asked, handsome face washed in worry for you. his appearance, ever so youthful and mighty, completely contrasted with your wrinkles and gray hair. but morax didn't mind the slightest - he still thought you were beautiful.

even though you were now hunched over, thick glasses sitting snuggly on the bridge of your nose and spent most od your times either asleep or knitting, he had loved you just the same as all those years ago. he looked at you now, at seventy, in that same way he did when you were his sweet, twenty-year-old fiancé. you were still you, no matter how old, and you were still the most heavenly person he has ever met.

"i'm sure, dear," you reassure, nodding softly, "i would like another cup of tea, please"

he hurriedly called the waiter of the lovely liyue café you were sitting at to bring you a cup more.

"could we get one more cup of this tea for my date?"

the waiter, seemingly very polite and kind, nodded.

"certainly, sir. and i have to comment, i think it's very lovely you're taking your grandma out for brunch! i don't get many people who respect their elders"

zhongli's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. respect his elders? when he was the one a aproximately a millenia older than you?

your husband looked to you, then back, clearing his throat. his voice slightly offended, he spoke: "this is my wife. we're celebrating our anniversary"

the way the waiter's face fell made you softly giggle, giving him a look full of empathy. you knew you appeared much older than zhongli and that people weren't used to it, with you looking like some kind of sugar mommy he married for the inheritance. people had no idea he was actually the older one, and how would they even be able to tell with the way his face hasn't aged a day?

"oh, ma'am, i'm so sorry, i cincerely apologise-"

"it's alright, sweetheart, i can see why you'd think i'm his granny!" you laughingly reassure. the waiter quickly runs to get you your tea, and zhongli turns to you.

"pft, you're not even that old, love. seventy-three is nothing." he scoffs, kissing your saggy cheek, "and no matter how old you are, i don't appreciate you calling another man sweetheart"

-> neuvillette

"are you alright? would you like to sit down, mon amour?" he asks, moving his feet inch by inch as he walked alongside you. even though this pace was almost torterous for him, he'd never dare go any faster. he'd walk alongside you, always, no matter if it meant he had to move at a snail's pace.

"i'm quite alright, my dear. but, could we have a break, just for a moment?"

his ocean-blue eyes frantically searched for a spot to rest, scanning a nearby bench. he set you down on it, wrapping a careful arm around your shoulder and let you rest.

you were so adorable, even now, with saggy skin and an obsession with cardigans. his beautiful, incredible wife, so gorgeous and full of life even though you were in your seventies.

those eyes of yours looked at him with just as much love and just as much wanting as they did a whole lifetime ago. when you first got married, he always had that thought in the back of his mind of a youth potion, always thinking that ot would feel weird if you would change with age and he would not.

but he was wrong. chief justice neuviellette was so, so wrong.

it wasn't weird at all - it was beautiful. your face and body, even though old and wrinkly, perfectly showed everything you two went through; your big smile lines, from a lifetime of chuckling with him, eyes so full of care from the few young ones you raised, hands veiny and rough from a lifetime of caressing his scales.

"would you like to feed the birds, mon cherie? remember, we brought the bread crumbs?"

you nodd softly, softly laying your gray head on your husbands chest.

"oh, yes, the birds! i almost forgot!"

as he gives you a little baggy filled with some leftover baguette breadcrumbs from your breakfast that morning, a couple of melusines swarmed around the two of you.

"mr. neuvillette! mr. neuvillette! we have never seen your grandma before!! hello, mrs. neuvillette's grandma, very nice to meet you!"

your husband softly chuckled, intertwining your fingers. he pressed a loving kiss to your hand, returning his gaze to the scattered melousines: "this is my wife, and i can asure you, you've met her many times before"

"oh, really? we can't remember.." one of the melousines replied, scratching her head.

"that's alright, neither does she" he whispers playfully, earning him a soft smack from you, "hey, i can still hear you, you know!"

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 76 (A Happy Harvestfest With One Greedy Little Genius)

Despite their busy schedules with work, Heather and Conrad hosted most of her family in Brindleton Bay for Harvestfest dinner. Ash would start school soon, and Heather could scarcely believe how fast time had gone. It seemed only yesterday she brought him home from the hospital in Henford where he was born.

Heavily pregnant herself, Heather's sister Holly spent most of the night napping in the upstairs guestroom, while her husband Kris and daughter Tetra hid out in the bathroom when the number of strange people made the infant uncomfortable. But otherwise the house was full of love and celebration, just as Harvestfest was meant to be.

Everyone ate so much there were no turkey leftovers! And though Heather was an incredible chef who had mastered gourmet cooking in their quest for ambrosia, Conrad stepped up to make this year's grand meal. Not only would it help him with his own cooking skill in their quest, it let very-pregnant Heather rest and enjoy the day with her family.

By the time everyone left, they were exhausted but content that nothing had spontaneously caught fire this time, unlike their last Spooky Day party.

A few weeks after his birthday, Ash lost his first tooth. A little genius with perhaps a hint of Landgraab greed, he was so excited for the Tooth Fairy's visit, Heather worried he'd try to pull the rest of his teeth before they were ready to fall out!

"Are you going to put that tooth under your pillow tonight?" asked Conrad.

Ash shook his head. "No, I'm gonna save it and take it to Daddy's! He told me when he was a kid, his Tooth Fairy gave him ten whole simoleons - per tooth!" Heather and Conrad exchanged wry looks. "With inflation, who knows how rich she is now!"

Conrad laughed as Heather balked. "How do you know about inflation? You're five."

"Gramma Nancy taught me about inflation," he said with a shrug. "She said when I run the company one day, I'll have to know a lot."

Heather forced a smile, but later that night she texted Malcolm.

So this is weird. I heard your Tooth Fairy got caught in the last recession and the going rate for our son's teeth is still ten simoleons.

Malcolm: ...Did he bring up inflation?

Ten! (Which is still outrageous) No more! And don't let your mother make him feel like he has to run Landgraab Corp. one day!

Malcolm: Alright, I'll tell him. I swear.

And your mother...?

He didn't respond. Even if Malcolm couldn't or wouldn't pick this battle with his mother, Heather wanted her son to work harder for whatever he wanted in life than his father ever had. She wanted him to understand responsibility despite the privileges he'd been born into.

He took out the trash, cleaned the litter boxes, fed the animals - even the beetles in the insect farm, and always did his homework. He even loved to help Conrad rake the leaves as long as he could jump and play in them when they were done!

Just as outgoing as he was as a toddler, he spent as much time as he could with his friends. He loved playing on the pirate ship by the wharf with Scotti Holiday, whose parents, Summer and Travis, had befriended Heather over numerous trips to the vet with the Holidays' dog, Kona.

"Be glad there's only going to be one at home," Scotti said. "Mateo is annoying and all Courtney does is make messes." She was about a year older than Ash. Even though he was a genius, he thought six-year-old Scotti knew more about life than he ever could.

"I'll have another one soon too, but that brother or sister will live in San Myshuno with my dad."

"Do you see your dad a lot?"

Ash shrugged. "Not as much as you see yours. I see Conrad all the time, though."

"But Detective Gordon's not even your stepdad. He can't even discipline you when you do something bad."

"I don't really do bad things..."

Scotti laughed. "You're so funny, Ash Landgraab."

Even as Heather and Conrad marveled at how fast Ash had grown, the days passed at a snail's pace as they waited for his little brother or sister to be born. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: The pose before the cut is from the Us 3 pose pack by @katverse. I used the all-in-one version (there are 5 poses) and caught them between pose flips, but I also caught Gord breaking into the shot! So this is now one of my favourite family portraits on the walls of their home. 🥰

NOTE 2: I'm itching to post Saturday's post early. Should I do it or is Saturday fine? It's a really good episode. 👀

[just-jordie-things]

MOREE headcannons for choso i really do love your other headcannons! heh

hell yes i love how open this is i'm gonna give ya such a random smattering of choso headcanons <3 tagging @delzinrowe bc it's choso and we talk abt him a lot so some of the credit for this has to go to her <3 ___

choso is a bit of a menace at the grocery store, but he doesn't mean to be. he's intrigued by all the packaging of different snacks and drinks- sometimes just regular products too like tissue boxes or toilet paper rolls. it often takes a couple hours to get the shopping done with him in tow. he's drawn in like a child to a candy bar!! if something is packaged in bright colors, expect to have to tell him what the product is, because he's gonna be interested in it.

i think he'd hate carbonated drinks. i think the bubbles would be a shock to his system ((did he even drink water before he met you??)) but i think he'd LOVE flavored milk. chocolate and strawberry. picturing choso casually having a lil carton of milk in his hand makes me soft. he'd go to yuji as soon as you introduce him to the wonderful beverage to see if his brother had ever tried such a delicious treat.

choso's always touching you. he doesn't know what pda is, but he's very into it... in an oblivious way. if he's not holding your hand, then his arm is around you. if you're sitting together he prefers to have you on his lap, but tucked into his side and under his arm is the next best thing. and he'll kiss you, anywhere, anytime. standing in line at the bank? the sunlight caught your eyes just right and he was just overwhelmed with the urge to cup your face and kiss you so longingly one could assume you were lovers reunited after years apart... but no, you've just been in this line together for fifteen minutes. you could tell him there's a time and place for such acts of passion but... whew you gotta catch your breath first, don't you??

he's always catching lil critters to show you. he noticed you liked to point out when there's a squirrel crossing the street, or a lady bug on the windowsill, so he notes that little creatures are some of your favorites. now on walks he keeps an eye out for any critter to present you with. he's caught all sorts of things with ease and surprising gentleness- despite being a massive hunk of muscle. he's managed to catch (and later release, of course) rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, toads, a couple of turtles, possums, even street rats. as well as bugs- just about any bug he sees. some are more exciting than others, the dragonflies, the ladybugs, rollie pollies, caterpillars, snails.... you could probably do without the roaches and big spiders, but you try not to show your squeamish side as you thank him for showing you and politely ask him to put it back on the ground <3

choso pouts if you don't shower with him. bc why wouldn't you? he got the water to the temperature you like... what, is he supposed to shampoo his own hair?? are you mad at him??

choso is quickly becoming a favorite of mine i'm sorry gojo but i have to cope somehow

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

solomon with a magic pocket pussy that links to yours. him playing with it while you're in public, stuffing you full when you're with the others, keeping you full of his cum and leaving the pocket pussy upside down so it stays inside you

Frothing at the mouth at this ask

NSFW 18+ MDNI, dom Solomon, sub reader, AFAB reader, gender neutral racially ambiguous, masturbation, semipublic, use of a fleshlight

Smug.

That was how you'd describe your boyfriend. Solomon always seemed a little too pleased with himself, especially in the bedroom. He always loved teasing you and making you squirm. Dirty promises in your ear when you're around others, a slight squeeze to your ass when no one is looking, him blowing air into your ear. Maybe teasing was a better way to describe him?

Either way, Solomon was an incredibly powerful wizard who was no stranger to using magic in the bedroom. Phantom hands cast to grope and finger you while he watches from across the room was a favorite. There was just something about hearing you beg that made him drool. While neither of you were strangers to using sex toys, Solomon proposed something you had only seen in questionable porn.

"I'll cast a spell that will essentially act like a portal allowing your vagina to appear here-" he presented an empty fleshlight "-whenever you wear this underwear."

You stretched the black lace in front of you. Curious, you stuck your finger into the crotch and saw it reappear in the fleshlight. "I'm gonna stick a pencil sharpener into this to mess with you," you joked making Solomon pull on your disembodied finger making your knuckle crack. "Ow! Joking!" you yelped pulling your finger back. Solomon chuckled, "What do you say? Want to try it out?"

And that's how you ended up where you were.

You had gone home after class to relax. Swiftly changing out of your uniform to shower and change into some comfy clothes when there was a sudden knocking on the bathroom door.

"MC! What are you doing? We have a student council meeting in 10 minutes! Hurry up!" Lucifer called out from the hallway.

In a panic, you quickly gathered whatever clothes you could find and ended up grabbing Solomon's enchanted underwear by mistake. Your pussy presented onto the other end of the fleshlight without you even knowing but Solomon immediately took notice. Like a gift, your pussy laid on top of his dresser facing him. Perfectly presented and so unaware of what was to come next.

What was a brutally boring meeting turned sour when you felt a finger slide through your folds. You jumped making a loud gasp earning a peaked eyebrow from Lucifer.

"Did you have something you wanted to add, MC?"

You quickly shook your head as heat ran through your body. Solomon's fingers slowly rubbed your clit in tedious figure eights before slipping back down your labia to push two fingers into your cunt. With a gentle come hither gesture, he rubbed at your G-spot forcing you to cover your mouth to keep from making noise. Solomon found a rhythm between fingering your hole open and rubbing at your clit. When you finally got used to the flow of how your boyfriend touched you, he went ahead and flicked your clit. A mixture of pain and pleasure made you yelp with earned you 9 head turns from the demons in the room.

"Sorry-" You mustered out "I-uh-cramp...Uhm, I think I ate something-" You squirmed feeling Solomon start to suck on your clit. His soft lips and wet tongue tease your sensitive cunt so torturously well.

"If you're not feeling well you can leave," Lucifer reassured you as he regathered the papers in his hands. You nodded holding your hand over your mouth. Two of Solomon's fingers spread your hole apart to prod at your G-spot once again. Your knees locked together as you struggled to hold back your moans.

Using all the strength you could muster within your body, you hoisted yourself up and out of your chair. You quickly pushed the chair in knowing you for sure left a snail trail of your arousal on the cushion. The meeting resumed as you hobbled out of the student council room. The entire time you wandered down the hallway looking for a bathroom, Solomon rubbed at your G-Spot while sucking your clit. You were honestly amazed you were even able to walk but you guessed your motivation to not be seen was stronger than Solomon's fingers.

Solomon couldn't be more happy with himself knowing you had a student council meeting. Such a naughty little whore, wearing your magic underwear when you're supposed to be around others. Images of you trying to suffocate your noises as Solomon played with your pussy played through his mind. At this point, his cock was freed from his pants and resting on his stomach. Solomon lay comfortably sprawled out on his bed with the magic toy in his hand. Two fingers shoved into your hole while he nursed on your clit.

Your orgasm suddenly hit you just in time for you to slam the stall door shut in the empty bathroom. You could feel your juices flowing from your cunt at your release. Finally, Solomon's mouth and fingers retreated from your cunt but you knew better. This was only a tease compared to how he usually fucked you. Then his thick cock started nudging your lips apart. He slid the head of his cock through your soaked labia to prod at your clit before pushing himself inside of your welcoming cunt.

Juicy walls grabbed his shaft with every inch he gave you. Your breathing picked up now that you were alone and able to allow yourself to truly relish in the moment. How hot it would have been to have been caught getting fucked by Solomon like this. You wonder if the demon brothers could have smelled your arousal and heard Solomon fingering you. The thought made you clench around Solomon and grind against his cock.

The wizard was thrusting into the toy with everything he had. He honestly hoped the brothers could hear every squelch your pussy made, every slap of his skin against yours. Solomon's mind shifted from wanting to embarrass and humiliate you in your meeting to showing the demon brothers who you really belonged to. They might have pacts with you but your heart, soul, and pussy were all his.

You leaned on the stall door trying to find purchase against the onslaught of pleasure Solomon delivered to you. You bit your hand trying to muffle the whimpers and moans from deep in your chest. It felt like your whole abdomen was getting pushed up your body with his intensely Solomon fucked you through the toy. Your knees wobbled forcing you to plop onto the edge of the toilet seat.

Then a rush of hot fluid filled your cunt. You could only close your eyes and groan at the feeling of having Solomon empty his seed deep inside you. Your whole body shivered having been denied the build-up to your second orgasm while Solomon slowly, almost torturously slid out of your spent hole. You could feel some of his cum leaking out of you and then his fingers pushing it back inside. With wobbly hands, you reached into your pocket to text the sorcerer. Someone was going to have to come get you because you don't think you can walk right now.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

You know, if I have to read another take or fic that treats Ed ordering that racist French captain skinned with the snail fork as proof of Ed's anger issues, or, somehow bizarrely commonly, has Stede talk down to him about it, I'm gonna lose it. Both Ed and Stede indirectly cause some pretty major violence in s1e5, but only Ed's seems to be proof of a violent nature. Strange.

And I'm honestly a bit tired of talking around this, because when you look at what some portions of this fandom can excuse and what they can't, it becomes very obvious how this is really just a racism problem. I mean, in this episode:

Ed responds to racist abuse by ordering the French captain killed. It's in the context of him having already given the captain a chance to back the fuck off ("what's that supposed to mean," said very calmly considering we all know what "your kind" means), has to visibly hype himself up to start yelling, and is responding to being called a donkey. It's vile and Ed deserves to be upset, not to mention he knows he can't just let that slide when senior crew members like Fang are right there watching. Ed is visibly upset and shaken by this whole situation and what he thinks it says about him as a person.

Stede, upon learning that the party guests were cruel to Ed (in a passive-aggressive but undoubtedly racist way), is angry on his behalf, and also wants to retaliate, just as Ed did earlier. It's sweet that he's defending Ed, but this is surely also personal for Stede, who felt mocked and belittled earlier and has had to deal with a lifetime of that. We see the results of Stede's playing the crowd here, with the boat burning in the background and the screams of people jumping out into the open sea, and Stede is also visibly pretty stoked about the whole thing.

There's no way around it, I think: we have been conditioned to think it's morally superior for someone to "turn the other cheek" and "be the bigger person" in the face of racist abuse, and Ed doesn't do that, so that's why this is still such a big issue for some people. When Ed gets upset again at the party, unlike earlier when Stede was put off by Ed ordering the captain skinned, Stede validates his feelings and is the one to respond, and that's the difference in reactions, I think. In the second case, Stede has validated Ed's anger and pain - Ed's feelings have gotten White Permission to exist.

OFMD does something really very unusual in the current media landscape, and that's how it treats racism in itself as violence. It doesn't expect characters to look away, turn the other cheek, or try to make amends with racists when they're cruel to them. And the only problem here wrt Ed is that some viewers of the show, bringing in the biases of the society we live in, will get uncomfortable when Ed acts in accordance with the show's philosophy - it doesn't matter that Stede is much more gleeful about being the one to respond in a similar situation, it matters that Ed is brown, and we therefore expect him to have to put up racist abuse. The show doesn't ask us to pass judgment on Ed in this episode, and I think that if you're automatically more inclined to believe Stede's actions more "reasonable" and "justified" than Ed's, you just might need to unpack that.

[benevolentcalamity]

Mutually Unlikely [Crocodile & Child!Fem!Reader]

I'd just like to say before we start, I've only watched up to episode 130, so please refrain from mentioning spoilers, fan theories, etc. etc. Thanks fam. ♡︎♡︎♡︎

Disclaimer: This story holds mentions of childbirth, especially death during childbirth. If you find this subject matter triggering, do not read more.

"Excuse me?" His grip tightens on the snail.

"I-It's true, Crocodile sir." The guy on the other end quivers. "Your name was on the certificate, and they're asking to send her to you as the father."

Robin blinks, wandering closer with narrowed eyes. "What's this about?"

Holding up a hand, Crocodile sighs, faint lingering tendrils of smoke slithering between his teeth. "Anything else I gotta know about?" There's nothing stopping him hanging up right now.

"Err... The kid's set up with textbook-based learning, so there's no need for her to go to an actual school. She just needs an instructor."

Leaning back in his chair he lowers the input, glancing over at Robin. An unspoken thought is shared, and he turns his attention back to the snail. "... Get 'er on the earliest possible transport over here. I'll have Robin be ready to pick her up. And listen." He leans back forward. "Anything happens to her, you're dead meat. That's my kid, you got that?"

"Yes, sir-!"

"Very good. Anything comes up, inform me immediately." And with that he hangs up, glancing back towards Robin. "You got that?"

"Yes, sir," She responds coolly. "If I may ask though, do you think this is the best place for a child to be?"

Waving dismissively, he takes another drag from the cigar. It's a fair question - to the commonfolk of Alabasta anyway. But for him this will be a perfect place to grow up, where you won't have to worry about anything. People will adore you too, and you'll have anything you want if you just ask. With that, the rest will fall in line, not to say he's gonna turn you loose once you're here.

"If I'm here, there's no way it isn't." He stands up from his chair. "That kid is mine. You think I'm gonna leave my kid to be raised by someone else, you're mistaken."

"Understood." Robin nods. "I'll go out to receive her right away."

__

"Crocodile, she's here."

Pensively his hand rises to his chin, watching Robin and a smaller silhouette come in from outside. Standing up straight he watches as they come into what little light comes into this room. Eyes falling to the child - okay, you - he snorts, circling around the desk and crouching. Nothing if not knowledgeable.

"Hey, squirt."

Lifting your hat, you give it a light tip, quiet as a mouse. Your eyes, his in shape but a beautiful [e/c], watch his every movement, down to how he puffs his cigar. Every inch of you is guarded, prepared for anything to happen. Shrugging, he reaches forward, patting the top of your head despite your hat. "Nice to meetcha. You got a name, right?"

You nod.

"... Well?"

You take a moment to respond, looking him up and down before making a peep. Still your one hand grips Robin's pant leg for assurance, your gaze avoiding his, stuck to his shoes.

"[Name]." Your voice is barely above a whisper, but audible all the same.

"Well, [Name], it's nice to meetcha." He rises up from his haunches, staring down at you. "Name's Crocodile. I'm your pops; you'll be with me from now on. Is that understood?" When you nod again, he huffs. "Alright. Robin, if you could show the kid where she's staying. Kid, you hungry?"

Once again, you nod.

"Alright. It's dinnertime anyway. I'll make sure you're settled." He adjusts his collar, eyes narrow. "... Welcome home, [Name]."

Reaching into your pocket, you tug out an envelope, raising onto your tippy-toes to offer it. Quirking a brow he reaches down, accepting it. Briefly his eyes widen at the sender: [Mother's Name]. Waving you and Robin off, he watches you pass him to go to your room with her through the corners of his eyes. Once alone, he opens up the envelope, thick with the stench of the hospital.

"Crocodile.

It's been a while since we last spoke. You may throw this away when it arrives, but if you don't, please listen to what I have to say.

I'm dead. Or, I will be soon. You said yourself that you would not be here for us but you would help me keep her fed and educated. Well that and, you did say you'd be the one to take her if something happened to me. Whether that was a lie or not, I won't wonder - you were always the kind to keep your word.

On the off chance she is with you now though, all I ask is she is safe. You're her father, in every sense, so please love her as one should. She has not spoken much since she was born, and she doesn't look anyone in the eye, but she's a sweet girl. As down to earth as they come her age. She doesn't like pureed food and she despises crowds.

He snorts.

But with you there... She'll be safe. In some way. Take care of her, Crocodile. Her mother will always be watching over her.

[Mother's Name].

"Yeah... I'm a man of my word." He turns to look down the hall. "... No worries. Nobody's gonna put one hand on her."

__

"Here you are, kiddo."

You look up as a few Billions follow Crocodile into your bedroom. Stepping behind your wall of spelling blocks you watch as they unload different toys onto your shelves. Some of them are more raggedy looking, maybe a bit dirty, and others are good toys with pretty faces and can be moved. One that catches your eye particularly is a floppy black cat doll. Pointing to it you hold your hands out, and he rips it out of their hands to give to you.

A ghost of a smile on your face, you nod in appreciation, eyes managing up to his chin.

"Any of these break or rip, we'll get you a new one, okay?" He gruffs, lighting another cigar. "Don't take that to mean you just get to destroy things, squirt, that ain't how it goes here."

You nod.

"... You ah, you got a name for that cat?" He asks. When you tilt your head he shrugs. "Some kids like naming their toys. So, what bout that cat?"

For a moment you hold the cat up, staring sharply at its face. Its beady blue eyes stare deep into yours, the striking pink nose demanding your gaze equally. Running your thumbs over its tummy you briefly wonder what would happen if it blinks, or maybe you're wishing it were a real black cat. Either way this is a creature you'll make sure never rips or tears.

After a minute haunted by Crocodile's smoke, you manage to rediscover his chin. "... Dynah." Now your voice is a bit louder, but flat. "Cat. Dynah." You hold the toy up to show him, making it wave at him. "Dy-nah."

"Okay. I get it." Rubbing the back of his neck he huffs, squatting. "Well, nice to meet ya, Dynah." Then he tilts his head to try and meet your eyes. Shrugging when your gaze averts his, he pats your head. "Alright then." Rising back up, he holds his hand out. "We're going to get you some clothes. That suitcase won't hold you long here."

Standing and taking his hand, you nod, following him and eventually Robin too down the hall.

"This is a desert continent, so you'll need sun protection. Keep close so you don't get lost, kid." When you don't respond to him he pauses, looking down at you. "... You don't say much."

That's when you look up at him. Swallowing, you hold Dynah in one hand, holding up your arms. "... Up."

His eyes widen slightly. "Huh?"

"... Up. Up." You repeat. "... Dad. Up."

"Alright, alright."

Squatting down, he momentarily stares at you. When your eyes find his nose, he sighs, reaching and ruffling your hair. A large arm scoops up your body, holding you like a tot. Shrinking into his coat you hug Dynah close to your heart, looking up at him.

Your dad. Crocodile.

As far as you know and are concerned, it's the two of you against the world.

For him, it's doing what he should do, what he won't let anyone else do. He is your father, the only other one with a right to watch you grow up. Be that whether he feels some obligation to your mother, or perhaps he has some heart left in him, it doesn't matter.

You're his kid - that's all he needs.

[taigarrryen]

-> The Paper Art Post <-

Let's make some Wild Life ep.3 snails together!

First of all, I make a sketch (usually it's already the size I want the final thing to be, because I'm a very lazy person).

At the point where everything is apparent enough to have a clear vision in mind, I go to my paper scrap drawer and think of what colors and textures I want to use (although sometimes I initially start from the color palette).

Here they are! But don't get too attached, we're gonna destroy them later >:)

And while we're on it, let's talk a bit about textures!

Textures are like candy for our eyes. They are an easy way to trick your brain into thinking that something is more detailed than it actually is, hence it adds interest and makes the whole piece fun to look at.

However, this is also why it's important not to overuse them — it's easy to get lost in the details and accidentally make your piece difficult to perceive as a whole.

You can make textured paper yourself using literally anything you can come up with: paint a sheet of paper with gouache or tempera, make swirls and gradients with watercolor or inc, scribble with colored pencils, make prints with various objects (I enjoy making prints of crumpled paper tissues soaked in ink), etc etc. Packaging film or candy wrapping also can be cool.

My only advice is be careful if you use gouache: some colors can make your fingers messy even after completely drying, so that has to be kept in mind to avoid accidentally leaving a dirty fingerprint somewhere you didn't plan for it to be.

For the tools I recommend using not only scissors, but a modeling knife/scalpel and an awl as well. Modeling knife makes cutting small things much easier, and awl comes in handy when you want to transfer a detail on paper but don't want to use pencil.

For gluing stuff I use gluestick, rubber glue and double-sided tape.

Now the fun part!

You can add details with colored pencils and markers ↑

As you can see, the process is pretty simple: I cut the piece I need from the sketch and transfer it to colored paper.

When it comes to assembling pieces, you can carefully cut them so that everything fits together like a puzzle, or simply glue them on top of eachother.

Keep the scraps (unless they're objectively tiny, of course)! You never know when you'll want just that amount of just that color or texture. It's also much more practical to cut new details from the side of the sheet from which you have already cut, rather than start from different edge every time you need a piece of that color.

Don't rush to glue things down! Along the way you might want to move something a bit or put one piece under another, and with quickly gluing everything it won't be possible. I like to work in big parts, making every object or character in the picture first and then, after putting them on their places and fumbling around, gradually assemble everything like lego.

Here are two parts of the picture (Bdubs' snail + Tango&Etho's snails) and a piece of red film I want to put on the background in some places. All that's left is to assemble everything by carefully gluing it on to my sketchbook page :)

You also can elevate certain parts of your artwork to create depth and areas of interest, using puffy tape or п-shaped / [-shaped piece of paper and glue. It looks really cool, but I usually don't do that because it's inconvenient for me to store & I like to keep everything in the sketchbooks.

TA-DAAA, we're done! The best thing about this technique is that you don't have to be good at actually drawing to make something that looks interesting!

Hope this post was useful and you've got inspired to try paper art for yourself! (And if you did — send me your art in ask box or replies, I'll be very glad to see it :] )