#so i’m going to yap like a motherfucker!!!!!

[corpsentry]

gotten by the d gray man manga, which i caught up to for the first time since i last read it in 2016, and its cast of angry stupid gay people. perhaps i am writing fanfiction again. or perhaps i am looking for a job, who is to say

[antxnous]

ok I’m complaining abt some heavy shit in the tags cw and tw ahead and stuff but I am actually abt to crash out in class rn

[athenamikaelson]

Klaus Mikaelson x Soulmate!Reader x Elijah Mikaelson Pt. 20

Word Count- 3.8k

Warnings- Swearing, injury, stick, Theo, Klaus, Theo and Klaus

“We’re going to go meet Bonnie’s birth mother. Want to join us?”

I blow out a low breath as Elena tells me her day plans over the phone. I ponder her question momentarily and then glance at Theo, who is currently curled into a sad ball on my bed.

“I would but…I’m on Theo watch duty. Gotta make sure he doesn’t have another mental breakdown,” I whisper the last part into the phone but Theo must’ve heard because I hear him mutter “bitch” at me.

“Yikes… How’s he doing,” Elena asks wearily.

I blow out another breath as Theo wails loudly, “You hear that?”

“Oh… definite yikes. Well, call us if you need anything ok? And, please stay inside, or don’t go anywhere near Stefan.”

I huff, “Ya trust me, I’m staying as far away from that bastard as I can.”

“You talking about Stefan,” I hear Theo growl out and I shush him.

“Tell Bonnie I’ll kick her mother’s ass if things go south,” I say into the phone and Elena’s voice gets muffled as she says something to someone near her.

“Bonnie says she will and she appreciates it,” Elena laughs.

We then say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone and remember the elephant in the room. 

“You’ve really got to move on dude. It’s not like he’s dead,” I sit down on the edge of my bed and my brother sits up and glares at me. He’s wrapped up in a fluffy pink blanket so his glare is more pathetic than scary.

“Mind yourself, woman,” He bites, “What if your Gilbert left you?”

I begin to roll my eyes at him but stop and frown. 

“SEE! You’d be in my position if your book buddy left you! So don’t come bitching at me because my SOULMATE left me,” He cries out and I let out a long breath.

“Can’t you have your mid-life crisis in your room?”

“The internet says you're not supposed to be alone in times of mourning,” He quickly responds.

“Ya well,” I rub my forehead, “You're giving me a fucking migraine.”

At the mention of my head, Theo frowns and leans closer to me inspecting my head, “How is your head? I swear to God as soon as I get my hands on that stupid bitchass motherfucking vampire imma kill him.”

I smile softly at him and sit back, “I’m fine now. And promise me if you see Stefan you will run the other way,” I say trying to hide the slight fear in my voice. 

“Y/n he hurt you, I’m not going to just-”

“Theo! Please! Do you see how you are acting because Jeremy left you? If something were to happen to you…I’d be one hundred times worse than this. I couldn’t live in a world where you didn’t exist, alright? And Stefan he’s… not himself right now. He doesn't care about me and he definitely doesn’t care about you. So, promise me you’ll stay away from him.”

Theo nods and grabs my shoulders, bringing me in for a hug, “I’d lose my shit too if you weren’t here. That’s why it sucks I can’t defend you. Seeing you in the condition you were the other night was horrible.”

I think back to when Klaus dropped me off, and Theo was right at the front door to see it and also see the absolute wreck I was. 

“I know and I’m sorry you had to see that,” I apologize. 

Theo shakes his head, “You have nothing to apologize for,” Theo stops talking and then side-eyes me, “Also… would you like to explain to me why exactly Klaus, the Original hybrid, was on our front porch dropping you off?”

“Well…”

Flashback

The dark forest flies by me as Klaus drives down the dark road towards my house. An awkward silence fills Klaus’ expensive SUV as I stare at my fingers that are resting in my lap. You would think for someone who loves to hear himself talk so much he’d be yapping away but after he practically carried me to the car, and placed me into my seat, he hasn’t said a word.  

After another moment I let out a sigh, “You didn’t have to take me home…I could’ve rode with Alastair.”

Klaus doesn’t move his eyes away from the road, “With Alastair’s track record of making sure you come to no harm…I decided I should start taking things into my own hands.”

I frown, “So what? You’re going to start stalking me now?”

Even in this poorly lit car, I can’t miss the small smirk on his face, “Hypothetically.”

“Great,” I say sarcastically.

Everything is silent for a moment until a car with its high beams on drives by us and I wince and let out a gasp of pain at the intrusion of light on my already pounding head. 

“Here,” I hear Klaus’ voice and a biting sound and have to fight the urge to puke again when I see him bite into his wrist.

“Hell no,” I shake my head, “I’ll live with the headache.”

Klaus pretty much growls, “Sorry to burst your bubble, Princess. But, that little headache of yours is most likely a concussion. And I can’t have you falling asleep tonight and not waking up because of it. So just drink.”

I shake my head defiantly and watch his wrist heal itself, “I’ll live.”

Klaus turns and glares at me and if I was in a better state I would glare right back at the bitch but I’m so worn down that I just stare back at him. Klaus’ glare drops when he sees I’m not glaring back at him.

“Y/n, just drink…”

“What’s a mate?”

The car swerves and I quickly grab the closest thing to me which happens to be Klaus’ hand that is lying on the center console. Images of Stefan and the bridge flash in my mind and I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Or dying. I could definitely be dying too. 

“Y/n! Y/n focus on me,” I hear Klaus’ voice in my head but I can’t seem to focus on anything or stop the panic attack that is building.

“Fuck it,” Is all I hear before the air is being taken out of my lungs and my face is being squished by Klaus’ large hands. It takes me a moment to register why I feel a pressure on my mouth but when I open my eyes and see Klaus’ face before mine I realize…Klaus is kissing me. Klaus whatever his last name is, is fucking kissing me. His lips are on my lips at this very moment. Holy shit. 

I know I should push him off me but I’m going to blame it on my lack of consciousness right now because I’m leaning into him. I’m kissing him back. 

Klaus pulls away from me a moment later and I stare at him wide-eyed. I bring my shaking hand up to my lips and trace my bottom lip with my finger, trying not to think about how right it felt to be that close to him. 

“I’m sorry,  I shouldn’t have done that,” Klaus’ voice pulls me out of my stupor.

“Then…why did you?”

Klaus leans back and it seems like he’s trying to make as much distance between him and me as he possibly can, which sends a stabbing pain to my chest.

“You were having a panic attack. What I’ve learned over the years is that holding your breath will stop it.”

At Klaus’ reason, a wave of embarrassment flows through me. I can’t figure out why but, a sense of rejection fills me as well.

“Oh,” I softly say, “I’m sorry.”

I can feel Klaus’ stare as I look back down to my hands. 

“Why are you apologizing?”

I shrug, “For freaking out. And for making you,” I point to my lips embarrassingly, “Y’know.”

A bigger wave of embarrassment runs through me at the sound of Klaus’ laugh. 

“Trust me, Princess,” Klaus tugs on the end of my hair lightly to gain my attention, “Kissing you is the opposite of sorrowful.”

I look at Klaus’ who has a mix of a smirk and a smile on his face and I nod quickly before looking away, feeling a warmth build throughout me. 

I notice now that we’ve pulled off to the side of the road. 

“We can go now. I’m okay,” I gesture to the road ahead and try to catch a glimpse of Klaus out of the corner of my eye but he’s still staring at me. 

“Not until you let me heal you.”

I shake my head, “You vampires keep trying to get me to drink your blood and it’s weird.”

Klaus’ eyes darken, “What other vampires?”

I shrug, “Just like Damon, and,” I pause, “Your brother.”

“You’ve drank Elijah’s blood but you won’t drink mine?”

Klaus’ harsh voice bites at me and I flinch back in my seat. 

Klaus’ glare instantly drops as he runs a hand over his face, “You have no reason to flinch around me. I’d never… I’d never do anything like that to you.”

I frown at the man who has uprooted and ruined my friends’ lives over the past 4 months and shake my head, “Are you serious?!”

Klaus stares at me for a moment before leaning back in his seat again, “I’ve never laid a hand on you or your brother.”

At the mention of Theo I stiffen, “How do you know about him?”

Klaus looks at me with an “Are you serious” look.

“Alastair,” I say knowingly and growled.

“He’s not the best at protecting but he is great at getting information.”

I pause for a moment and then glare at him, “If you ever try anything against Theo, I swear to whatever Gods are out there I will-”

“Slow it, Princess,” Klaus raises a hand stopping me, “Your brother has nothing to fear from me. Hurting him is hurting you.”

“Why is not hurting me of importance to you? Because of what Stefan said in the car? We’re mates?”

My question has Klaus leaning forward and starting the car again.

“Seriously,” I exhale at him and he doesn’t spare me a glance.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I go to rub my hands over my face but Klaus’ hand grabs mine stopping me.

“You’re going to hit your wound. Put your hand down.”

“Why can’t I ever just know the truth? I’m so sick and tired of everyone hiding things from me like I’m so fucking kid! I haven’t been a kid in years and I can handle a lot more than you fuckers think I can.”

Klaus watches me for a moment and then shakes his head, “I don’t think you understand.”

“No, I understand you perfectly! I understand you’re just like the rest of them!”

“Y/n. Listen to me,” Klaus leans back over to me so my full attention is on him, “First of all, I’m nothing like anyone that you’ve ever met before, so don’t insult me. Second, I don’t think you’re a child. I can see it in your eyes, that look that mirrors my own. You and I are the same, Astin Min. And third, it’s not you that can’t handle it. It’s me.”

I stare at Klaus and he stares back at me. 

“Why can’t you?”

Klaus runs his tongue over his teeth before letting out a sigh.

“Question for question,” He shakes his head slightly, “Correction. Question for a favor.”

I narrow my eyes at him and frown, “What kind of favor?”

Klaus smirks, “You drink my blood. I’ll answer your question.”

I groan as I stare at him. The idea of drinking his blood disgusts me but staying in the dark pisses me off.

“Fine. Let’s get the over with,” I lean over the console toward him and open my mouth. 

Klaus seems to be almost surprised by my agreement as his eyebrows slightly raise. His eyes go towards my open mouth and for a moment in the dark car, I could swear a hint of red tints on his cheeks. But before I can stare too long Klaus bites into his wrist and presses it to my mouth. I think I’m about to vomit when the warm liquid hits my tongue but instead, I groan at the delicious taste. Embarrassment has me quickly pulling away and wiping my lips. 

Klaus on the other hand is smirking like the fucking devil he is, “It’s better than Elijah’s, isn’t it.”

I glare at him, “I’m going to swing on you.”

Klaus releases a hearty laugh and I feel my upper lip twitch at the sound. 

“It’s your turn Jackass,” I cut his laughing off and he rolls his eyes. 

Klaus puts the car in drive and for a moment I think he’s going to back out of our deal but then he clears his throat. 

“I’ve gone a thousand years without a weakness, Y/n. A thousand years with no one having any leverage over me, other than my father.,” He pauses at the mention of Mikael, “You threaten that. A thousand years, and now my biggest threat is an 18-year-old girl.”

He bitterly laughs out the last part as if he can’t believe it’s true.

“I’m no threat to you. You’re the great big bad hybrid. I can’t even run up a flight of stairs without getting winded. How could I ever harm you?”

Klaus turns to me and his eyes go towards my wounded head before turning back towards the road.

“You have no idea.”

—

“I’m not even going to ask how you knew how to get to my house without me telling you,” I say as I go to open my car door but Klaus speeds over to my side and opens it for me. 

Maybe he and Elijah are related.

“You can ask, I can’t promise you’ll like the answer,” Klaus says as he helps me out of the car. 

I get out and try to walk on my own but a wave of tiredness flows through me and I feel my knees buckle. Thankfully, I feel Klaus’ arm wrap around my waist to keep me up.

“What the hell?!”

Theo’s screeching voice has me cringing in pain and I can hear Klaus growl from beside me. 

I open my eyes to see Theo running out of the front door and down the steps to me, wrapped in my fucking comforter. 

“Unhand her you bitch,” Theo yells and points his finger at Klaus who looks entirely unimpressed with my younger brother’s antics.

“Theo, chill the fuck out and go back inside. I’ll be in in a moment,” I try to wave my brother away but he shushes me and grabs me out of Klaus’ arms. 

“What kind of brother and manly protector would I be if I left you alone with this,” Theo glares at Klaus, who still has a hand on the bottom of my elbow, “thing.”

Klaus’ eyes go from my brother’s face to the giant lavender blanket wrapped around him, “I would insult you, but I know about your lack of male figures in your life. So this,” He gestures to the blanket, “Is not your fault. It appears your sister has just raised herself a sister.”

I swallow a laugh as Theo looks like he’s about to internally combust. He lets go of me and if it weren’t for Klaus’ hand on my elbow I probably would have fallen. Klaus narrows his eyes at my brother because of his actions.

“Who the fuck do you think you are,” Theo puts his fists up and I laugh at the amount of stupidness.

I look over to Klaus who’s standing next to me and he meets my eyes for a moment and then rolls his own.

“Klaus.”

“Well listen here Klau-”

Theo stops. 

“Wait,” Theo’s eyes go from wide to wider as his mouth drops open when he realizes who he just tried fist fighting. Theo slowly drops his fists, “Did you just say Klaus?”

Klaus seems to be beside himself for getting this kind of reaction out of my brother and I glare at him, “The one and only.”

Theo stares wide-eyed at the Original for a moment before turning around towards our lawn. I think he’s going to make a run for it but he quickly leans down and then turns back. I watch in awe as he throws a fucking stick at Klaus, bonking the hybrid right in his pretty face. 

“Quick, sister,” Theo yells as I feel him rip me out of Klaus’ arms and starts to drag me up the stairs. 

“Theo! Hold the fuck on, you dumbass,” I pull away from my brother as we make it to the porch and he stares at me like I’ve grown two heads. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!?!?”

“He’s not going to hurt us,” I tell my brother, “Or at least he wasn’t until you threw a fucking twig at his head.”

I look down at where Klaus is standing. I try to fight it but a loud laugh escapes my lips when I see him glaring up at us with the small twig breaking in his left hand. 

“Luv, I know I made a promise about not hurting him, but I think I might have to break that,” He bites out and I instantly stiffen and move in front of my little brother.

“You’ll have to kill me first,” I threaten him and we glare back at each other.

“This sexual tension is freaking me out,” Theo’s voice takes my focus away from Klaus as I turn to glare at my brother instead. 

“Shut up, Theo!”

“Oh, let the boy continue,” Klaus snarkily says and I turn back to glare at him. Thankfully the dark look from before has vanished and is now replaced by his usual smirk. 

I feel Theo’s hand tug on mine and I squeeze his. Theo talks a tough game but I can feel the shaking coming from his hand. 

“He hurt you Y/n,” Theo whispers to me as he stares wearily at my bloody head.

“Did not,” Klaus retorts.

Theo turns his attention back to the Original, “Did too!”

“Did no-”

“Jesus Christ stop you two,” I groan and rub my temple with my free hand, “Theo it was Stefan who hurt me. Klaus actually…helped me. I guess.”

I turn to see my brother’s confused face and can hear Klaus mutter “She guesses” under his breath. 

“Stefan did this to you,” Theo questions, and as I nod his weary look turns to one of anger, “Fine. Then grab that stick we’re going to go stab Stefan instead.”

Theo begins to walk back down the steps and Klaus raises the stick up for him to take.

“I’ll join you, mate.”

I pull my brother back with a huff, “Theo go back inside. Now.”

Theo goes to argue but I glare at him.  With one last huff and an “I’m watching you” gesture to Klaus, he walks back inside. But I can see the living room curtain push open slightly so I know he’s still watching. 

“You two are definitely related,” Klaus growls as he looks up at me. 

“Sadly,” I respond. 

Klaus and I stand there for another moment just watching each other and I feel my face warm up. 

“Well…um. Thank I guess,” I say awkwardly and turn to the front door.

“Y/n,” Klaus’ voice has me stopping and turning over my shoulder to look at him. He looks like he’s about to say something else but then clears his throat. 

“Good night.”

—-

“YOU KISSED HIM?!?!?”

I roll my eyes as Theo stares wide-eyed at me. 

“Technically, he kissed me,” I respond and Theo shakes his head.

“Nuh-uh you kissed him back,” He says and looks at me like I just committed the worst sin imaginable.

I look down at my hands as a wave of shame washes through me. 

“You can’t tell anyone, Theo. Seriously. Not Jeremy, or Elena, or anyone,” I look at my brother worried.

Theo narrows his eyes, “Why not?”

I give him an “Are you serious” look.

Theo thinks for a moment and then nods, “Oh, ya. Crazy Pyshco that killed your best friend and is harassing all your friends now. Ya, secrets safe with me.”

I grab Theo’s hand, “Theo, I’m serious.”

Theo squeezes my hand, “I promise. Sibling pact and shit….Also,” Theo smirks, “Was it good?”

I frown, confused, “Was what good?”

“The kiss,” Theo smirks evilly.

I smile sweetly at my brother and then hit him upside the head with my hand.

“Ow, woman. Don’t be putting your filthy hands on my precious hair.”

“Your greasy hair,” I say back and he stares at me in shock.

“How dare you! It is not greasy,” He tries to fight back but when I raise an eyebrow at him he quickly stands up and runs to my mirror. The screech that leaves his mouth as he stares into the mirror has me rolling my eyes. 

Theo quickly drops my blanket on the floor and runs out of the room. Not even 2 minutes later I hear the water from the shower turn on. I quickly stand up, shut my door, and then lock it. 

—-

“Wait, so that means I can’t fist-fight Bonnie’s mother,” I ask Elena.

Elena called me as soon as she got home from her trip with Bonnie to meet Bonnie’s mother. I guess Bonnie’s mother ended up losing her magic when she did a spell to desecrate Mikael 16 years ago but is willing to try to get her magic back to help her daughter open the unopenable coffin or some shit. There’s so much going on in this town that everything’s starting to mesh together. 

“No…I mean at least not right now,” Elena jokes and I huff.

“Fine. But if she hurts Bonnie I’m throwing my fist right into her throat,” I pretend to jab the air as I put the phone in between my shoulder and ear.

“Are you fighting the air right now,” Elena asks and I stop.

“No….”

Elena laughs, “Well, if you do need to fight her I’ll be there rooting for you.”

I smile, “Thanks, I appreciate it,” I pull up my towel that is wrapped around my body. 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay,” I tell Elena and she agrees and I hang up the phone. 

My still-wet hair leaves shivers on my body as I open my bedroom door and walk inside. But when my Y/E/C eyes meet brown eyes I stop.

“Hello, Elskan. I think you and I are long overdue for a chat.”

[slamminslamminmcgill]

I need to be high off my ass while deadpool fucks me. That’s it. that’s the post. Wade wilson the man that you are. Hurfgghdhhhh. yeah. weed makes me horny so definitely that…… Deadpool….. save me………….. headlock….. his arms…. ehhshhhshhhhh

deadpool headlock on drugs inspired by my last dick appointment coming right up!!

warning: intox (weed), choking, oral, daddy kink, humiliation, transphobic slurs

anatomical terms: cunt/pussy

suggested listening: Gorillaz - Superfast Jellyfish (trying something new w/ poolposting!! i love the deadpool soundtrack and the vibes the music creates for each scene so im trying to emulate that. also discovered recently that this is a perfect song to smoke and get your pussy ate to 😌)

“What was that? Didn’t quite catch that, sugarcunt. Speak up for me, will ya?”

“F-Feels so… feels so fucking gooooood…”

“Mm, but does it? If you’re still speaking in complete sentences, then my work’s not done. Go ahead and take another hit. Or two. Y’know what? Just finish the bowl. I’ll pack you another if you’re still too smart for my liking.”

Wade punctuated his order with a sharp smack to your cunt, sloppy with his spit and your need. His mask was pulled up just over his mouth so he could service you.

This motherfucker was trying to kill you. Or at the very least, give you some form of brain damage. Every consecutive orgasm reduced your cognitive functioning. To his credit, though, it sounded like a generous offer when he first proposed it.

“You need to relax, honey-boo. How’s about you smoke up while I go down, if you catch my drift?"

He was lying on his stomach, his chin resting in his hands, his legs in the air kicking back and forth, watching as you took rapid fire bong hits. You tried your best to burn through the bowl as quickly as you could, and you got about three solid clouds out before you started coughing. Hard.

“That’s it. You got it,” Wade cooed, stroking your inner thigh, “Just cough out all those neurons for me, good boy. Daddypool’s stupid little boy, I’m so proud of you!” He used your coughing fit as an opportunity to sneak two fingers inside you, and gawked at how you hard you clenched them. “Ooh, yeah, you got some good grip strength in you, cupcake. Squeezing those fingers like a hug from a church-going grandma. 'Am I gonna see you next week at the bake sale, honey?' Oh, yes, you will, Miss Nancy!"

What? What in the actual fuck is he yapping about? Was that supposed to be a joke? You had no mental bandwidth left to even speak, let alone dissect Wade's meandering, confusing, drawn-out metaphors for your pussy. "Wh… Wha-a-a?"

"Oh, that’s sounding much dumber, baby! Good boy!" He said cheerily, sliding his fingers out and wiping them on his suit. "Seems like you’re just about ready for Daddy."

--

"Oh my god, look at you! You look so cute pinned down like this! Aw, you can’t move, can you, dummy? Nowhere for you to go, huh? Except back onto Daddy’s cock where you belong."

Wade had you on your back, your ankles on his shoulders, his hands gripping your thighs as he pounded into you, over and over, deeper and deeper. So deep, in fact, it was as if he was shoving your womb up into your throat. Choking on that and a mouthful of drool, you cried out for him, pawing at his arms just to feel him close to you.

“Daddy—Da-! Daddy, Daddyyy-y-y~!”

Wade could see the desperation on your face, that yearning for closeness, and dangled it over your head. “Aw, poor baby, you need a hug? But you’re already hugging me so tight, with that—f-fucking wet honey-pot cunt you’ve got there—ah! Fuck! Ah… shit, I got’cha, come here.”

Wade withdrew his hips, leaving you gaping and empty without his cock stretching you out. He leaned down to wrap his arms tightly around you, though before you could hug him back, he flipped you onto your stomach. He pressed a firm hand onto your back to keep you lying prone on the mattress. With you trapped beneath him once again, he pushed back in.

“Ooooh, that’s it, babyboy, that’s the ticket.”

You sobbed into the pillows, keeping your sounds timid and muffled, and your dignity somewhat intact. But Wade wouldn’t let you off that easy. He hooked his arms around your neck and yanked you up into him. The pressure on your windpipe turned your moans into weak gasps and sputters. The lack of oxygen set your nerves alight, burning with hypersensitivity. And to make matters worse, he wouldn’t stop growling filth right into your ear.

“God, I can feel my balls smacking your tiny little tranny dick like this… Can feel you twitching… So fuck—so fucking wet… Mmmm, I’m gonna shoot the biggest fuckin’ load into you... Not… not yet though… No, I’m not done with you, yet, slutter-butter. I can just… mmm, edge myself inside you… keep you nice and full… All. Fucking. Night.”

[literallyroselacroix]

Sorry for the thirty minute yap sessions guys this is the last one, I just wanted to talk about how David acts like he’s so smart but he’s actually really fucking stupid. Like he contributes nothing, not during the first trial, and not the second one either. “Teruko we know you killed Xan—“ please shut the fuck up sir. Also, he acts like he was being slick, like we’ve BEEN knowing that your ass was fake, bro didn’t even try to hide it. Like in the prologue, when he thought that nobody was around he was like “heh….this is so fucking stupid…” and then he got jumpscared by Teruko. HOW THE FUCK DID HE NOT SEE HER ANYWAY HELP? And then in the chapter two trial he’s really shit at lying, like motherfucker if you’re going to pretend you’re the murderer at least do it right 💀 or take a page out of Teruko’s book and defend yourself without just saying “I’m not the murderer” bcs obviously no one’s going to believe you if that’s your only defense. Like Jesus Christ this man is so annoying, he needs to be humbled SO BADLY.

[mlm-writer]

Daddy/Dearest (Wade Wilson x M!Reader)

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Alien!Cis!M!Reader  Rating: Mature (lowest I can go with a Deadpool fic) Words: 1048 POV: Third Summary: You matched with Deadpool on the intergalactic dating app Starcrossed. After exchanging many dick pics, you decided to visit Earth for your first date... and blow the planet up if the date sucked. Note: Inspired by the song Party Tonight by Joe Hedourix and this prompt. Tags: first date, fluff, idk who Nick Fury really is tbh, 4th wall breaks, romcom and reader’s appearance is a little vague but at some point I started imagining Megamind

“Deadpool! Open up!” Wade groaned at the insistent knocking on his door. He tried to rub his eyes, only to find out that he was still wearing his mask. A quick look down revealed he had fallen asleep on the couch in his PJs. The knocking at his door stopped, so he rested his body on the couch. He had barely closed his eyes, when the door was knocked down. 

He raised his head with a groan, only to be incredibly surprised by his guest. “Wow, Nick Fury, I am not sure if I am even supposed to know who you are, because the writer has seen exactly one movie in which you had a cat, but he supposes you’re an important dude or whatever.” 

“Shut it, motherfucker,” the man wearing a black trenchcoat barked back at Wade. He clearly took note of the dirty white shirt with a butt on it and the blue chequered underwear Wade was wearing, but he did not comment on it. “Do you know the app Starcrossed?” 

Wade laughed, not reading the room that had been filled with armoured men and women because we are inclusive here and women can and will kick your ass if provoked. 

“That app with all the metas on it? Why? Did we match? I’m sorry if I did not reply, but you’re not really my type and you must have been an accidental swipe.” 

“Stop yapping! Does this guy look familiar to you?” From his pocket he unfolded a picture printed on an A4 paper. Wade leaned in and squinted at the picture. He did recognise the person on it. 

“Oh yes that’s my daddy - not my father - but like a sexual daddy you know. You should see his dick.” Nick looked like he was gonna lose it. Wade could tell, but he frankly did not give a shit. 

“Well, your ‘daddy’ is the leader of an alien race, whose armada is in orbit right now to drop him off for a ‘date’ with you. So get dressed, because whether we get blown up or not today is apparently up to you.” That was a lot to take in, but Wade was used to weird days and this was simply just another one of them. 

Now it was common to be nervous for a first date, but the fully armed SWAT team dropping Wade off was not helping. He tried making conversation with them, but they seemed to blame him for possible annihilation before dinner time. 

When he stepped out of the chopper, there was a masculine figure waiting in front of the former military base. He held a large bouquet of iridescent flowers. They seemed either fake or from an alien planet. “Wadey!” The figure called out, waving frantically with all hands that were not holding the bouquet. The inhuman coloured skin seemed to change colour wherever the late morning sun was directly shining on it. 

“Hi daddy,” Wade called back in the same cooing tone. He skipped over to his date. “Are those for me?” He mused, knowing the answer as his date handed them to him. 

“I heard flowers are quite common to bring to a Terran date, so I brought some rare flowers from my planet for you. I am afraid they will not survive as long as they would on my planet though. The sun here is weak.” Wade smelled the flowers. They smelled like butt. Could be worse. At least Wade was familiar with the smell of butt. Wade held the flowers close as he thanked the other for them. “Well then, shall we? Your government was so kind to help me set up an Earth-date.” 

The atmosphere was… weird. There was a very extensive brunch on a beautifully decorated table, but they were surrounded by people keeping them at gunpoint. “You don’t seem bothered by being held at gunpoint,” Wade noted as he rolled up his mask just far enough to shove a croissant into his mouth. 

“Likewise,” his date smirked back at him. He reached out and touched the edges of the mask. “Come on, I already know your dick and ass are covered in scars. Your face cannot possibly scare me.” Wade thought about it. Well, his identity was not really a secret right now anyway. They already knew where he lived. Wade lifted his mask off his face, trying to not show how insecure he was about his fucked up face. However, when he looked at the alien before him, he swore he could see a hunger in his eyes. “If these people were not around, I would fuck your face right now,” the man sighed dreamily, before continuing to clumsily trying to spread butter on a piece of toast. 

Wade reached out and decided to help him. Their fingers briefly touched and Wade saw the other man smile at the contact. It set his body on fire with desire. “I frankly don’t care about the audience, but after writing all those kinktober fics the writer can really use a break from blowjob scenes, so let’s keep this from being E-rated.”

Wade sat back down after buttering his date’s toast. He watched as the alien’s facial features reacted to the taste of Earth food. “Fascinating,” he spoke softly. Wade chatted with his date and those mesmerising eyes and charming smile kept drawing him in. At some point he was sure even Nick Fury could smell his arousal from wherever he was keeping an eye on the situation. There was no more food left, when his date rose from his seat and offered one of his hands. “Let’s get out of here.” 

Wade grabbed his mask and put it back on. “We’ll have to fight our way out of here if we want to do that.” A corona of blue light started surrounding the alien, a devilish smile appearing on his face. The sudden display of power got people loading their guns and Wade’s gun filling up with blood really quickly. 

“Do not worry, dearest, that can be arranged,” the most powerful being that had ever held him spoke, before he blasted a hole in the line of armed people, lighting the way to their future in a flurry of blue. “Let’s have a good time, dearest.”

[deesseshesca]

PAC :What are they gagging about u, again ?

Again… A fucking again. Nothing new, nothing changed. 

Good morning, pretty souls, today we are diving into the same mess people keep their mouth running regarding you. What’s the remix this time ? What have you done to upset the haters ? Like WTF do they want now ? 

FLASH SALE 

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only 

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must reblog, like and comment. 

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

TW: PANIC ATTACK

Pile 1

Check in : y'all come from a rich abusive household. You are about to run away. Or some of y’all might actually just move. 

What’s the gag ? 

King pentacles 

People are yapping about you,  are  your classmates or close friends . Y’all come from an abundant family heritage and are living the dream some will never get to even grasp. Let’s not forget your amazing composure. You can get anything you want whenever you want. Probably walking around with an Amex card. Book a ticket overseas at least 4x a year. Whole education in private school even high profile nanny. If you  are black, u hear often … « you talk white … ». I fucking hate that statement because what is that supposed to mean 😑… LOSER . They think u must have a very traditional way of thinking. Especially if u are white, they think u lean more towards far right ideologies. And the fact that u call your parents « papa » or « mother » is not helping your case. 

What’s actually gagging ? 

8 swords

Y’all are going through it with your family. I don’t have any vision regarding what’s going on behind closed doors. But I see you pulling a big bright smile after closing the front door of your house. I see y’all acting literally like a robot. The second that your parents ask for something. You do it. No question or critical thinking involved. Y’all are literally suffocating in your household. This time no amount of money, clothes or first class trip is cutting it. 

Bonus💌333, The universe is advising you not to run way. They know you are an individual with good values and you hate acting out of character. But they are giving you the green light to act like a spoiled child and throw a fit. So you can get your own apartment and enjoy a semi independent lifestyle before blowing the big gun. They will hate to see struggle in the real world when u already been through hell in your own home.

FLASH SALE 

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only 

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must re-blog, like and comment. 

If you want to choose the subject for the next reading make sure to vote on the poll at the end of the post.

PILE 2 

Check in : You guys recently got a face piercing. People around u wondered if u are a sex worker. You come from a small town. Y’all have the perfect hourglass figure or peach. Anyway, your ass is fat. 

What’s the gag ? 

Judgment (reverse)

They feel like too many bad things happen to you. Everyone in town is in your business. Which is not surprising. Like nobody actually minds their motherfucking business ( I’m sorry … I hate when people are in people's business, especially mine . Since I’m a toddler my fav sport is to mind the thinking that pay me … is so annoying when I run around individuals that fucking don’t This is why I never over read in y’all energy even in a collective setting. Like c’mon). I’m sorry pile 2, y’all lost u’re high school sweetheart. Y'all got married but it all scrambles down. They feel like you need Jesus. They think u are bitter, old  and alcoholic women. You need to give your heart to God and turn your life around. 

What’s actually gagging ? 

Queen swords (reverse) 

They are partially right (and i oop-). Nah, I have to stay serious. This is a serious matter. You lost the only good thing in your life. I would be turning bitter myself 2. In that nasty old town, where people never let you be in peace. First because of your mom's reputation then because of your beauty. Out here making fun of u because u gain weight. Bitch people are at the gym killing themself to have your curves. Some are dying on the bed of doctor Miami… for what ? I sense that it is constantly like that. Since you’ve been young they made smart comments about you. When they realize, u only get prettier from there… game over. Now they are calling you fast. Then calling you old, they wish. Y’all are between 25-27 like… ok, yeah ok, pipe down bitch (meme reference). You are pondering on doing a 360 of your life right now. You spend all this time  trying to please people around you and acting according to people's expectations. Now you want to live in a rather carefree lifestyle. Moving to the big city, where nobody cares about you and nobody deem to care. You might want to be a stripper. Not because you are missing funds or don’t have an education. You just want to go wild for a bit. Seeing if you still got it.

 Bonus💌777, When you are ready to share your story that's when great success is going to find you. You might documente your grief on social media or give guideline for other to heal. Some may write a book to help individual going through the trials and tribulations of loosing their ultimate soulmate. Y'all other going to share all the secret tip and tricks of being a stripper.

FLASH SALE 

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only 

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must re-blog, like and comment. 

If you want to choose the subject for the next reading make sure to vote on the poll at the end of the post.

PILE 3

What’s the gag? 

King cups (reverse)

Y’all must be athletes. The people gagging  are your teammates. They finally saw you crack. Some were even questioned if you were a human being. Because you are always put on a straight face no matter what. I sense that you had a panic attack in front of them. That was the only time you showed emotion and it was this intense. 

What's actually the gaging ? 

Queen swords 

You’ve been carrying a deep sadness since childhood. You guys are extremely disciplined and private. Y’all also give amazing advice. They think you lost it but you actually lost your mind Because you never really had your emotions under control. You barely know how to cope. The only time that this insanity seems to leave you is when you are practicing your sport. You are actually pouring all you have to the only thing that gives you peace. They will never know that.

FLASH SALE 

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only 

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must re-blog, like and comment. 

If you want to choose the subject for the next reading make sure to vote on the poll at the end of the post.

[14th-century-verona-queer]

SOME BACKGROUND INFO:

Heacannon that one day, somehow (don’t ask me how okay its late im running on no brain cells) a speaker in the apartment starts BLARING music

And nobody knows where it came from or how it started but what they DO know is that the speaker is blasting “While You Were Sleeping” by Laufey at full volume. On loop. For 10 or more minutes. But its so loud that you can’t really make out the lyrics that well (so it’s basically just the instrumental and the melody that laufey’s singing without any distinct words ig)

ON TO THE STORY:

“What the FUCK is that noise?? It’s been playing for the past 10 minutes, which one of you idiots put it on?”, Al says irritably.

Wade, being the himbo that he is, (hey! I am not a himbo, thank you very much!) yes you are Wade, the whole fandom agrees, now SHUSH IM TELLING A STORY (my bad) YES YOUR BAD NOW SHH

says, “How do we know YOU didn’t put it on, hmm Al?

Al shuffles over and whacks him upside the head, “I’M BLIND, MOTHERFUCKER. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? I DON’T EVEN OWN A GOD DAMN PHONE.”

While..all that..is going on, Logan (who had just woken up from an alcohol-induced nap) stalks into the kitchen wearing a pair of Wade’s hot pink Hello Kitty pajamas, with his eyes reduced to slits (cause yk, hangover and stuff ig?) is like

“what the hell are you guys screaming about and what the fuck is that noi-“

And then he cuts off because Wade and Al just very slowly, very carefully, turn in his direction and stare at him (al kinda just turns in his general direction)

“What the fuck are you guys looking-?”

“I can’t see, honey”

“sorry Althea, facing my general direction, for?”

“..is that my phone, peanut?”

“….yes…what about it, bub” and Logan, bless his oblivious soul, crosses his arms and scrunches his nose up, confused.

“Is that my phone, open to SPOTIFY, CURRENTLY PLAYING THE SONG THAT HAS BEEN BLARING ON LOOP FOR THE PAST 10 FUCKING MINUTES? I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU GOT THE PASSWORD TO MY PHONE, BUT THAT IS A QUESTION FOR ANOTHER DAY CAN YOU PLEASE TURN THAT FUCKING THING OFF ITS GIVING ME TINNITUS.”

and Logan, now mostly awake, slowly pauses the song, and just stares at Wade, waiting for a reaction

“Uh…yes. This is your phone. And what about it?”

”Honey badger..did you put that song on..? See I could be wrong, (even though I never am *logan snorts* HEY!) and I couldn’t hear much, but it sounded a bit too classical and was a bit too jazz pop for the big bad Wolverine to listen to. But now I’m curious sooooo can I see? Pleeeease?”

And Logan, being down bad obviously reluctantly gives it to him cause who is he to not please Wade when he’s begging?? He can’t just NOT when Wade looks so pretty and earnest and is genuinely curious and he knows he won’t make fun of Logan no matter what and he’s pretty and HE’S JUST REALLY PRETTY WE GET IT SHUT UP NOW INNER MONOLOGUE.

Wade gently takes the phone from him and knits his, what would be eyebrows, together

“While you were sleeping?? Kitten (Logan almost chokes at that btw) are you stalking someone? Why didn’t you tell me I could’ve helped!” Wade jokes “Okay but actually, who’s Laufey?”

Logan’s eyes widen and his entire face turns red, not from a blush but from anger. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHO LAUFEY IS SHE’S AN AMAZING ARTIST AND ACTUALLY TALENTED HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HER?? I’ve been alive for 200 years, bub, but she’s one of the best artists I’ve ever listened to in my god damn life! How DARE you insult her by not even knowing who she is.”

Wade, who was not paying attention, (Yes i was!) don’t lie to yourself Wade you literally weren’t.

I JUST wrote that you weren’t paying attention, now FOLLOW THE SCRIPT OMG (okay okay but keep going youre making the readers wait too damn long) SHUT YOUR YAP I KNOW ALREADY OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Anyways, Wade was looking at the lyrics instead of paying attention to Logan’s passionate rant (ooh I wish he was passionate with me) Wade actually shut up (okay sorry) you SHOULD BE.

“I'm dancing down streets, smiling to strangers Idiotic things?? I trace it all back, three-thirty AM, that night, something turned in my heart While you were sleeping, I fell in love??” He says confusedly

“Who’d you fall in love with, hmm Peanut?”

To be continued..

Thank you so much for reading!

This is pretty much the first little story that I’ve ever written, so apologies for anything that doesn’t make sense

Yea I’m splitting this into multiple parts because I’m actually kind of considering making this a small little story?

Not quite sure yet! (You better!! I wanna get to the good stuff! Like where Logan ***** while he *** and *****) Wade there will be NO smut in this story PLEASE do not get ahead of yourself. (Oh c’mon!) Sorry dude I’m ace I (personally) do not know how to write any kind of convincing smut, nor do I want to.

(Sorry to any readers who were hoping for that kind of content!)

I have no idea how it went from me just yapping to like actual story jargon, but I am quite aware that it’s weird and will be updating later! (If anyone wants a part 2 ofc)

If you all want a part 2 I’ll make it more “story-like” and won’t have it start off however the fuck it started off this time.

Thank you so much for all your love and support! It means the world

Sorry for the cliffhanger btw loves (not rlly hehe)

-Cori

[artemis-b-writes]

A/N: Hey yall! First and foremost: If you’ve read this before this no you haven’t. This is my first time posting this Anyways! This is my first long-form story so of course I chose the longest show known to man!

Thank you to my lovely beta reader: @ebodebo (go follow her) for putting up w my constant talk of rewriting (turns out you do need 5 chapters of filler lol) and being my all around soundboard. I’m so excited for the things we have planned! Enough yapping let’s get on with it!

TW: gore, violence, strong language, mature content

… - - - … … - - - … … - - - … … - - -… … - - - …

Chapter one- The World Is Ending

August 26th, 2010-

The beeping of hospital monitors haunted my sleep. I’d been spending every night in uncomfortable, plastic, hospital chairs for as many nights as my mom allowed. My father Rick Grimes had been shot in the line of duty 2 weeks ago and had fallen into a coma from the blood loss.

I stayed with him when my mom worked so he wasn’t alone. I’d tell him about school, keep him updated on Carl and read to him, praying he could hear me. A fresh vase of flowers at least made the room bright for when he’d wake up.

But right now I was sleeping, or trying anyway. I could feel a thin hospital blanket on me. Theo, one of the hospital's CNAs, harassed me about taking care of myself and usually I fell asleep fully clothed in their shitty chairs without a blanket.

“Peaches?” The voice behind her made Victoria practically jump out of her seat.

“Jesus Shane….you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” Victoria asked harshly. She never liked Shane, even as a little girl they butted heads. She couldn’t for the life of her imagine why Rick would hang out with him after work.

“Victoria we need to go. Now.” He spoke quickly, making his way to her dads bed and kneeling down beside him. “Rick, if you’re gonna wake up now’s the time man, shits going down and we need to leave.”

“Shane,” Victoria laughed half heartedly “what are you talking about?” Just when she thought he was finally losing it, gunfire started to ring out from outside the door. Shane pulled Nadia down under him as she screamed. Shane covered her mouth and she would’ve bit him in different circumstances.

I mean who the hell would open fire in a hospital?!

Victoria could feel the tears start to well as Shane begged her father to wake up so they could leave, telling him that if we stayed they’d all die. After a few minutes of bargaining Shane picked her up and dragged her out of the room.

“No!” She tried to push against his grip but he was incredibly strong. Victoria kicked and pulled until Shane pushed her into a hallway, begging her to be quiet or else they’d be found. She peaked around the corner, Shane pulled a gurney in front of Rick’s room. There was blood everywhere, screams and gunfire echoed down the hall. Shane grabbed her arm and they ran from the hospital, Victoria broke down when they got to his pickup.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Victoria hit Shane’s arm as hard as she could over and over and over until she didn’t have it in her anymore. She knew he was hurting too but didn’t care. He left her dad there to die.

“Peaches I had to.”

“Don’t call me peaches Shane. My dad is fucking dead.”

Shane sighed again, the truck roared to life as we peeled out of the parking lot. She stared out the window, thinking of her dad. Would he die? Would they leave a comatose man’s body to sort himself out? What if he woke up and everyone was gone?

Victoria and her father had always been close. She was the stereotypical ‘daddy’s girl’, hell as soon as she was old enough to hold a rifle without falling over she and her dad had gone hunting every season.

He taught her how to cook, she knew all his favorite bands and all the words to every corny song that he absolutely loved. Sometimes when Carl was a baby she and Rick would sneak out and go to the 7/11 down the block just to get candy and rent cheesy movies to watch together….and now they’d never share those moments again.

“We’re here.”

Shane’s voice broke Victoria from her daze, she looked out the window to see her mom and brother already packed up ready to hit the road. “Go’n and pack a bag, I’ll talk to your mama and Carl.”

Carl.

He was only 10…and now he’s going to find out he’ll never see his dad again and the world might be ending?? He’ll never get those moments hunting alone with his dad as the sun breaks the day. Or watch cheesy movies with her and their dad when Victoria would be home from college. She could feel the bile rising once again as she made her way past her family and into her room.

Victoria had a typical 17 year olds room. Honestly, the floor was littered with laundry she needed to do as well as some CDs she’d rummaged through that morning. Her walls were a neon teal, they’d mostly been covered with posters of movies and bands, and paintings she’d created out of boredom. She tried to soak in every inch of her room in case she’d never see it again. As she started to pack she took a Polaroid off her wall.

“Jeez Anthony….you should be at practice right around now. Please be safe.”

She tucked the Polaroid of her and her best friend into the pocket of her backpack and kept packing. Just the essentials: a couple pairs of jeans, some tee shirts, boots, hat, dads hunting jacket, socks…toothbrush? Definitely a toothbrush. A hairbrush and a few notebooks and pens (and some comic books for Carl). She also made the decision to pack her hunting rifle in case they got stuck foraging for food, as well as a heavy knife.

She threw her bag into the back of the truck so that no one would suspect how heavy it was. Her mom and brother were crying into Shane as he had just broken the news. Or however he’d spun the story…but Victoria knew the truth that Shane had abandoned his “best friend”. Shane loaded everyone up into the truck and said they’d be headed to Atlanta and that the military would help them.

“Are we going to die?”

While it was spoken barely above a whisper, the question jolted Victoria out of her daydreamed haze. She looked down at her brother Carl who was laying in her lap.

“No baby. Because I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe, and so will mom and Shane.” Victoria tried her best to reassure him, rubbing his back softly. She’d instructed him to lay in her lap so he couldn’t see the panic that the rest of the world was in.

Before they knew it, they’d left King County and were headed to Atlanta. Victoria fiddled with her cross necklace, Carl had fallen asleep leaving the truck uncomfortably quiet.

The Grimes weren’t really a religious family but Victoria did usually attend Wednesday night Youth Group with her best friend Anthony. The necklace was a gift from him.

Anthony. There he was on her mind again, she’d thought about calling him but Lori demanded she save her battery incase of emergency. Anthony Smith had been her best friend since middle school. They did everything together and were practically attached at the hip when they saw each other. He was a year older than her but that never mattered in how close they were.

Anthony was actually quite soft spoken, and smart as a whip. He was a tall kid, probably standing at about 6’3. He was built like an athlete, but he had to be with Track and field. They actually became friends at a track meet in sixth grade and kept up with eachother daily through AOL and Skype. And obviously only hung around each other at said meets. Anthony’s dad was a PE teacher and Coach so he definitely fueled the athletic fire in both kids. Anthony has always been a sweet kid and even when he was an asshole Victoria could never be mad at-

“Victoria! Get your head out of the clouds I’m talking!”

Victoria jolted in her seat, there she was daydreaming again. Lori was giving her daughter quite the concerned look.

“Where are we mom?” Victoria looked out the window to see full bumper to bumper traffic.

“Outside of Atlanta but as you can see we’re stuck in traffic” Shane answered from outside, with quite an annoyed tone Victoria noticed. She ignored Shane and hopped out of the truck so she could stretch her legs.

“Where’s Carl? I think I threw some comic books in my bag, I’m sure he’s bored out of his mind sitting here.” Victoria looked around and spotted Carl a few cars down playing checkers with a girl who looked to be about his age. She had a short blonde bob and a smile as bright as the sun.

Victoria smiled in amusement and made her way to the car with her mom. “Someone has a cru-ush!” She teased in a sing-song voice. She yelped when Carl turned around and smacked her arm as hard as he could.

“Mo-om!!! Carl hit me!”

“Don’t tease your brother then!” She laughed. Victoria rolled her eyes and fluffed her brother's hair before sitting behind him to watch the kids play. Right as she sat down a woman came from the front of the car with waters. She was a smaller woman with buzzed gray hair.

“Oh! You must be Victoria, I’m Carol!” She had a smile just as bright as Sofias, Victoria made a mental note that they must be related. She smiled and thanked her for the water, and as she took a sip Carl enacted his revenge.

“You say I have a crush on a girl I just met when you’ve been after Anthony since forever.” Victoria showered the back of Carls with the water she had just taken a sip of and was prepared to cuss him out when the commotion started. Bombs were dropping into Atlanta.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Victoria screamed as she pulled the kids down to the ground underneath Carol’s car. She moved her body over the both of them so they would be shielded if anything came down.

The rest of the night was a blur. Shane grabbed everyone’s bags from the truck, grunting as he lifted Victoria's particularly heavy bag. They ran into the woods with Carol, her husband Ed, and Sophia. There were screams in the distance and somehow Victoria and the kids got separated. She held onto both of them tightly. They ran until they came up on a high spot with a small clearing.

“Stop right there.” The shotgun barrel was aimed right between Victoria's eyes. They widened with fear as she put both her hands in front of her slowly.

“Sir, we’re just trying to get off the road…I have two small kids with me, please.”

The man’s aim faltered at the sight of the kids. Victoria rushed him, taking the gun and pointing it back at him. It probably wasn’t her smartest move but she had Sophia and Carl to look out for. There was a shriek behind her and Victoria whipped around just in time to shoot a man who was trying to get Sophia. Wait…what the hell?

Victoria slowly crept up to the man. He looked pale, his eyes were white and glossy and there was fresh blood around his mouth.

“Good aim kid. I’m sorry I pointed that thing at you. I just had to make sure you weren’t like him. The names Dale, you kids can stay with me and the girls tonight and we’ll look for your crew in the morning.” Dale smiled at her warmly, he was an older man judging by his white hair. But he had kind eyes and it was late so Victoria decided he could he trusted for the night.

She nodded, grabbing the kids as they headed into Dale's RV. There were two blonde girls sitting on the couch. One older one younger, Victoria figured they were probably sisters.

“Dale, who are they?” The older blonde asked, glaring at the three kids.

“Easy Andrea, the older one can take out those things like you wouldn’t believe!” Dale smiled back at Victoria. “They’re just staying for the night and…I didn’t get your name sweetheart?”

“Victoria. Victoria Grimes.”

… - - - … … - - - … … - - - … … - - -… … - - - …

[minato-division03]

SUMMIT OF DIVISIONS (R.I.P Märchen & Pixel SyndicateEdition)

— (All) —

Here we go (here we go), east and west

Connecting divisions (divisions) with this microphone

Old and young, come together and make our voices a chorus

The battle is locals vs. Chuohku

Here we go (here we go), you and me

Right and left, me and you

Overcoming blood relations and troublesome connections

Anyway, this party, let's get it on

A night where shocking oaths crowd around

The no.1 mic that aims at our days

Let us drink and sing, get wired as we like

A party night limited to only one stage, make love

Hop, skip, and jump, taking the initiative asap

Let's get started

Reverberating sound and hearts

If we don't have fun, there's no point

Let's go!

— (Queen Card) —

Don’t be afraid, come closer, Baby

to a land where norms are forgotten, magic happens

They said, "don't you feel a little lonely living in your own world?"

But don't you  feel helpless living in other's worlds?

How can someone who looks like danger and sin

taste so good and holy just like the heavens?

The one that you sought, we’re making it hot

The land of dreams feels good to me

Come on in

— (Black Cat, Reiaki Suzubayashi) —

Sometimes I just need a break from my own thoughts

In my head, my thoughts twist and form into knots

You sleep to dream while I'm awake to live mine

I'm outta my mind, it's a dark and scary mind

— (Hex 13, Miku Shirazuki) —

In the dark two shadows reaching through

their hands meet and light spills in a flood like a

hundred gold urns pouring out the sun

All the way up up up in the air yo

— (Rush Hour, Anika Kiyozaki) —

Uh everyday I'm winnin’

Akihabara's lights never stay dimming

I'm aiming for the thoughts, I got your head spinnin'

Whether it's on the tracks or the clinic where you relax

The world now that you living in

is all just an illusion

Your strings have loosened Uh-huh

All hands on deck, Syndicate, raise your mics

Instincts take over

We swallow you whole,

— (Ready or Not, Shian Meizono) —

I found you gotchu in my line of sight

Are you flirting or trying to start a damn fight

How bad can a good girl get

Be careful with how you tread

Don’t run you will only get caught tired

— (Screen Shot, Makina Setsukura) —

See you yap yap with it Just the opening gambit

I heard you’re a player

Nice to meet you I’m the game

Enemies I keep slaying

Only way to win is to keep playing

— (All) —

Here we go (here we go), east and west

Connecting divisions (divisions) with this microphone

Old and young, come together and make our voices a chorus

The battle is locals vs. Chuohku

Here we go (here we go), you and me

Right and left, me and you

Overcoming blood relations and troublesome connections

Anyway, this party, let's get it on

A night where shocking oaths crowd around

The no.1 mic that aims at our days

Let us drink and sing, get wired as we like

A party night limited to only one stage, make love

Hop, skip, and jump, taking the initiative asap

Let's get started

Reverberating sound and hearts

If we don't have fun, there's no point

Let's go!

Bukuro! (Hey!)

Yokohama! (Ho!)

Minato! (Hey!)

Nagoya! (Ho!)

Shibuya! (Hey!)

Shinjuku! (Ho!)

Akiba! (Hey!)

Osaka! (Ho!)

— (MC B.B, Ichiro Yamada) —

All in all, we're bad motherfuckers

We're seriously unique, so it's a traffic jam of characters

Clashing our hilts against each others', rattle rattle

From learning from each other, to I gotcha again

— (Mr. Hc, Samatoki Aohitsugi) —

A locust leading the underground

Goodbye to the empty-headed kiddy rappers

The bell tolls for me, brass knuckles

Even if you line up a bunch of small fry, it's still 0 points

— (Queen Card) —

You want a battle from me

I'll give you a war, it's like Beauty and Beast

You know I'll be the designer of your catastrophy

Go hard, take the mic,

I'm the Queen, I'm swordlike

— (Rush Hour, Anika Kiyozaki) —

Bet you got your hopes high up, thinking you can beat me

Well think again, everything I oversee

Treat me like a joke, I'll run you over like it's funny

I'll laugh in your face. Bitch, my victory tastes like honey

— (Easy R, Ramuda Amemura) —

From Shibuya, Shinjuku, Hama and Bukuro

With Nagoya, Osaka, Minato, Akiba, we'll cause great fear

The iron rule is to stan while you still can

Today, it seems like around here is where we should run off

— (ill-DOC, Jakurai Jinguji) —

A warped rondo, an elaborate skit

A vaccine panacea overdose, end of examination

With the past, NO WAR

Let's change with the night's crescendo, checkmate

— (Tragic Comedy, Sasara Nurude) —

Final countdown of one thousand days

Held by the beat, this heart is steel

Fated for battle until we burn up

You're not allowed to stop this flow

— (Evil Monk, Kuko Harai) —

The anchor for these complicated guys

If it was a different day, we'd be taking each others' territory

Taking a mic in hand, deciding the last shot

I'll change this place into an energy vortex

— (All) —

Here we go (here we go), east and west

Connecting divisions (divisions) with this microphone

Old and young, come together and make our voices a chorus

The battle is locals vs. Chuohku

Here we go (here we go), you and me

Right and left, me and you

Overcoming blood relations and troublesome connections

Anyway, this party, let's get it on

A night where shocking oaths crowd around

The no.1 mic that aims at our days

Let us drink and sing, get wired as we like

A party night limited to only one stage, make love

Hop, skip, and jump, taking the initiative asap

Let's get started

Reverberating sound and hearts

If we don't have fun, there's no point

[formulapookie]

marc going “haha i have no idea how i adapted to riding my bike with no wing mid sprint” as if he didn’t hop his (very nice) ass on a year old ducati of all things after spending a million years solely riding honda like 3 months ago and has already clawed his way to motherfucking PEE TWO in the championship standings already is insane to me!!!! like babe now is Not The Time to be modest (unless you’re wooing gigi with this in which case go ahead)

in the HYPOTHETICAL (i am touching wood i will NOT jinx this) that he wins this year, getting him to 9x WC, on a year old ducati, in a satellite team, having only just switched to them, over vales kids who are in (loosely) equivalent or better machinery, do we kiss the potential of ever getting a rosquez reunion goodbye? because i cannot imagine vale ever looking at marc again if that happened

like on it’s own it’s an insane (potential) feat, the kind the media are not going to shut up about, and we know valentino gets marc questions on the regular anyway. but to me that would feel like the last nail in the coffin? at that point he would know there’s basically no way marc would Not surpass his record, as he’d basically be a guaranteed for the factory seat. it would be incredible revenge for the way marcs been treated, whether it was intended that way or not (vale would see it as intentional) at that point would he regret treating him that way? because so much of his legacy is tied to marc now, and marc’s legacy would have grown far beyond that tie to vale, so it would be almost less notable in his legacy than vale’s (due to recency bias)

idk i’m yapping, i am both terrified and excited about marc’s insane uhhhhhhh insaneness regarding adapting to the bike

On one hand YES i think we would kiss a reconciliation goodbye, especi because Marc would (🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻) win on a Ducati, which Vale failed to do (yes in those years it was impossible to ride the Ducatis, but in Vales mind he should’ve been able to do it anyway) and he would feel oh so betrayed and most importa he’d feel beaten

He feels like in his boy’s eyes he’s now LESS because of this, he feels like the whole fucking world thinks less of him, and mostly he sees how Pecco respects him and how Marco shifted from hating him (even more than Vale) to looking for his attention

he’s scared Marc will steal his boys too after his (still sour about it) 10th

ON THE OTHER THO

Vale would maybe fucking relearn to realize how great of a rider Marc is, how adaptable he is and how despite everything he doesn’t give up

and he also sees how his boys progressively came to look up at him (subtly) and gets that no matter what, they’re tied somehow.

So, at the end of the year gala, where they give out the prizes, once Marc got his and cheered with his team he compliments him, telling him he did great, and FINALLY saying sorry for demonising him like that, even if he still calls him a bastard

they don’t immediately reconcile in that other way because Marc is still a bit scarred and hurt by how they stopped their encounter long ago, while Vale would very much like to get back to business immediately

And for the first time in their relationship Marc has the lead (at least for sometime) and Vale waits for him

that was fun to do thanks anon!🩷

[carmenized-onions]

Ok - hear me out:

ICE Chip’s - “In Case of Emergency Chip’s” so that if Mikey is having a moment this is where he goes. To reminders of his BEST FRIENDS in those pictures as well as candles of how far he’s come in sobriety. I think the necklace Tony puts aside at the start of the chapter is a sobriety coin. Are those plastic? I’m not sure. It could be her’s or Mikey’s, I definitely agree that them being a paramedic it could go either way.

also Carm babes if you touch Tony’s artwork I will cry. you’ll have to put a racially targeted band aid on my HEART.

and to the author, you are fantastic at what you do, lovely. I have very seldomly come across writers that not only excel in dialogue, but writing dialogue that fits THIS show so well. you will go so far with your talent!

best, anon

You fuckin got my ass.

THIS IS ONE OF THE ONES I WAS WAITIN TO ANSWER LMAO

Love the capitalized and emphasized best friends, also. BUT YES YEAH YOU FUCKIN GOT MY ASS. I'm very happy to have an even medium of readers that were like I have No Fucking Idea What You Are Yapping About and also I KKNOW IT EXACTLY !!! I KNOW YOUR NUMBER MOTHERFUCKER!!!

I think that's the happy medium, with plot reveals. It needs to be clear enough that it's not out of fucking nowhere and is also satisfying but at the same time like, not too bashed over the head. So THANK you, I appreciate it. I think next chapter is gonna have a few little surprises but they're so granular that they're not like,,,, like you'll see, you'll just see i'll leave it at that.

WOULD CARM FUCKIN DO SOMETHIN TO IT, I wonder. I think this was something I didn't actually consider UNTIL I saw this ask. Quite frankly, and I don't know if I'm supposed to admit this. I'm still thinking about it. I still don't know if he would like it or not, honestly. I think it's a coin-toss. Baby boy has a hard time with people expressing pride over him, he might get a herniated disk.

Anyways.

Thank you so much!! I've definitely gotten better at dialogue ova the years, it comes with the goin' to school for it and shit or whatever. It's been very good to train my brain with emulating very specific dialects as I'm not from fuckin' chicago, cousin. I'm fully Canadian. So.

I'm doing my best. I wrote 'no shot' in Zero Pulse, and I hope that's not just a Canadian thing, but i have been told it is. So. Sometimes we just simply have to do our best folks idk ANYWAYS THANK YOU THANK YOU IT MEANS A LOT I'LL SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW!!!

[slamminslamminmcgill]

i’m so glad y’all like how i write dialogue for deadpool cause i got more thoughts abt him fingering you. he loves t-dick and transmasc pussy and i put that on GOD!!!

him shoving his hand down your pants and trying to figure out what’s going on. he cups your crotch over your underwear, his thumb flicking across your itty bitty t-cock. he somehow doesn’t suspect a thing. “jesus, mary, and fucking joseph, i know i called you a tiny-dick twerp in theory, but this is just upsetting in practice. feels like i’m laughing at the mean comments on instagram reels. y’know, the kind where those mommy influencers exploit their children for views and—OH!” he swipes down the seam of your cunt, and it all finally dawns on him. “well, well, WELL, aren’t you just full of surprises, pretty boy?! gimme about 15 minutes and you could be full of cum, too, if that’s what your heart desires. oh! also! what do you like to call it? pussy? kitty? cunt? front? hole? snatch? hoo-ha? baby cave? penis fly-trap?”

he finally rips your underwear off and gets to explore you, gloves on skin.

“aw, for fuck’s sake, honey, you’re soaking wet ALREADY? tell me i’m not your first. or maybe you’re just easily excited? that’s honestly such a blessing for my ego though. i’m very flattered. truly. could i really just… slip some in already?”

“ahh—ha, fuck! fuck!!!”

almost as loud as you, wade gasps at how wet and silky, lush and inviting your cunt feels. part of him REALLY wants to just cut to the chase and fuck you right now. but that’d be rude. it’s his first time. he’s just been invited in. he needs a tour of the house.

“UGH, c’mon, stop it, how are you THIS fucking wet in here? i always thought that T must turn your cunt into the goddamn mojave but YOU…” he GROWLS and hooks his fingers into you, so perfectly into you, it feels like he’s pierced into your spinal cord. like he’s just rolling your central nervous system between his digits, “YOU are something else, juicy-cuntoure.”

then the motherfucker starts twisting them. scissoring them inside you and stretching out your insides.

“what’s your thing, the konami code?” he jokes, mapping it on your plush and squishy walls. “up up, down down, left right, left right, B A start? or are you more gta san andreas? R1, R2, X… no, wait, shit, what was it?” then he abandons the pattern, and just starts button mashing. he never abandons the bit though, he’ll just yap to himself even as you lose your fucking mind on his hand. “shit, c’mon, the rocket launcher, that’s an essential! i should have that one memorized! you NEED that to shoot at the police cars whenever they’re on screen! where was i? oh. yeah. knuckle deep in some little faggot. average weeknight for me. you wanna get nachos after this? maybe i could eat your ass in the bathroom at applebees?”

[evolnoomym]

I’ve been yapping about wanting to get some bubblegum ice cream, but it’s always sold out. Well motherfuckers I got it and I will eat it, then later I will eat a bomb ass dinner and in between I will write more for my story. I’m so back in my creativity mode and I don’t even feel like it’s going to be totally sucky. I actually have a good feeling about my writing today. 😋😈🙏🏻

[kamiversee]

okay, i calmed down a bit. holy shit what a chapter. this chapter is possibly one of the most intense chapters you've posted yet, if not the most. the only other chapters that immediately come to mind in terms of emotional intensity are the ones including Gojo's tearful confession and the chapter with the "last kiss." this chapter devastated me on a completely different level. the drama had me reeling and i loved it so fucking much. well done, Kami. really well done.

i'm going to try to not sound like a broken record since you already know my immediate thoughts based off of my past few anons 😭 it's so interesting that Choso immediately goes to call Geto's brother shitty, yet later on in the chapter Geto refers to them at friends. Choso's denials are believable since he does seem like a major introvert and only really goes out of his way to socialize with the reader, but i wonder if we'll ever meet Kenjaku in this fic. or is this a sneak peak as to who we may meet in a certain sequel...? 👀👀👀 KAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! why do i feel like you're going to draw some parallels between Suguru and his brother's relationship to Choso's relationship with Sukuna. i'm not sure how it would go, but if you do choose to do that i feel like it would floor me.

i love that this chapter is unveiling so much of Choso's toxicity holy shit. i know it's all related to his possessive nature, but the anger issues had me taking breaks and walking laps in my room at 1:30 am on a work night. the way he's upset about things we aren't even aware of (how "flirtatious" we come off in a regular conversation) was expected but the way it built up to him exploding was just *chef's kiss*. the way still calls us little pet names, especially after that huge fight, stung me.

not only did this chapter reveal so much about Choso, but it really does solidify how toxic the reader is for him as well. there's no such thing as a perfect character (even though these jjk men get so close) but this was a perfect reminder that despite everything, the reader has her own red flags to work through as well. will she ever? probably not bc holy shit that passage was so perfect and needed. also, who wouldn't act that way in that kind of situation 😭 swatting OUR hand away when HE is the one causing the scene? omfg it got me so mad LMFAOOOO

also the reveal that Sukuna is a physically abusive asshole? omfg. it makes sense for his character but still, the contrast of that info to how we knew him is intense. it's a shame that he's so fucking hot 😭😭😭 with the things he's done, i understand why Choso has the feelings he does. but holy shit dude, the reader didn't know 😭 why tf is he taking it out on her 😭😭😭

Suguru that motherfucker. i hate now smart and intentional he is with every fuckin' action he does in this series. UGH. the way he had me cringing (in a good way) to the point of having to take breathing breaks after practically every line. especially when he said "Go after him, idiot."

KAMI. YOU 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 OH MY GODDDDD. IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS THAT WHAT THE READER IS TO CHOSO, GOJO IS TO THE READER, HOLY SHIT. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY POINTING A NEON-LIGHT ARROW TOWARDS THAT PARALLEL. such a genius way to reuse that line. once i read that, it fucking clicked. the same fucking line Geto says to Gojo in chapter 8 after their first big fight. oh my fucking God Kami. reading that made me have to put down my phone and stare at the ceiling for a bit. so fucking well done. it's lowkey so funny how Geto has been there for so many of the big fights. i'm so fucking excited to see how this develops. my brain is so fried once again.

- ☃️

Smirks. Chat, it’s time for another Kami yap session, LETS GOOOO

1. Gojo’s breakdown chapters & the chapter where Choso leaves (chapter 19 I think) were one of the only chapters that made me tear up while I wrote them😭 Well, aside from the next one I’m abt to drop- ANYWAYS THOUGH, glad you enjoyed it like always ^.^

2. See, here’s the thing about Kenjaku’s mentioning, he was only brought up to show two things; One, Choso has friends and a life outside of the reader, and Two, Choso and Geto have more of a connection/knowledge of each other than what might’ve been expected :)

It’s also another slight anime reference bc like I’ve said previously, I do tend to mirror things such as friend groups or actions to the way things are done in the anime & Choso’s appearance was always made with Kenjaku so, why not make that a factor here yk?🤷‍♀️

3. There actually are already some parallels ^.^

Notice how Choso calls Kenjaku shitty & Suguru snaps back by saying Choso’s brother (Sukuna obv) isn’t any better. Then, you also have Yuki who points out that both men haven’t told the reader anything about these terrible brother’s of theirs, despite both men having connections & intimate moments with her.

It’s kinda meant to show that there is a lot the reader simply doesn’t know. That was honestly somewhat the point of the past few drama chapters! There’s a list of things she learns all in the span of one day, from Gojo’s obsession to Sukuna being abusive— she learned all of that within a single day.

Anywho, the parallel is simply that the men who she claims as her type both have done similar things to her in regards to opening up🤷‍♀️

4. I wanna note that a lot of people are calling Choso’s actions here toxic. Now, I’m not going to disagree of course but, I will just say, his moment of blowing up isn’t unnatural. Choso’s not the best with his feelings, as we can see, and imagine you’re in his shoes for a moment.

How would you react to everything he was just told? Do you think you wouldn’t have blown up as he did? Especially when you consider how passionate he is about his brothers, more specifically, Yuji.

Just wanted to throw that out there! Yes, he shouldn’t have yelled the way he did but this is something that’d been building up & because he’s such an introvert (I am too ngl) it’s not unusual for him to have a sudden outburst as he did seeing as he typically keeps his thoughts and emotions inside rather than wearing them on his sleeve :)

5. Yep, I want people to understand that she herself is not perfect in anyway. The reader just gaslit the hell out of Choso & played on the fact that he believes she knew nothing about Sukuna.

NOW before y’all jump on our mc, while it is toxic & bad, she only does that for the benefit of everyone if you think about it. I said this earlier but she has learned a shitload of info in one day. With that, she’s just as stressed and tensed as Choso is atm so she uses her situation in order to manipulate Choso into telling her the truth about everything.

Think about it, she could never manipulate Gojo into telling her his truth and as said, the last thing she wanted was to go through that again, especially with someone like Choso who typically tells her everything.

Yes, yes it is bad that she did that but in a way, it was for something positive such as forcing Choso to open up to her. Not only that, it also gives her a path to reveal other things to him ^.^

6. Again, Choso didn’t exactly mean to blow up on her but he’s been tense the entire time so it was bound to happen. He’s not blaming her, he’s just upset and is unsure of how to properly express tht as we can see💀

And I think I said this to a few anons so far but, who knows the last time Choso & Sukuna interacted with one another? Given that & based on what the reader experienced, we don’t know how long ago Choso saw Sukuna be abusive to women, now Yuji on the other hand is different ofc because Choso clearly states Yuji’s current age and that kinda shows that tht abuse is ongoing.

7. When I tell you, I WAS SMILING SO HARD AS I WROTE TS. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE making parallels so I literally went back to the chapter with Gojo & Geto just to recall what Geto said to him and then I was like “Yup, time to reuse this shit😈”

AHH I LOVE DOING THT SM UGHHH

But yesyes;

Gojo —> Reader —> Choso

It’s so perfect too ^.^

Ty for reading, mwah, ily <33

[lantenne]

Man it’s only Monday and I’m exhausted. I’m so over this fucking bullshit school. I do not care. All I do now is just sit there while they yap on and on.

I’m such a fucking loser. Everytime I try to change shit it just fires back in my face and I’m tired of trying. But then I get motherfuckers in my face saying my issue is that I don’t try. Like bitch you don’t know me. If you knew what my life is like you’d be the same way. That’s what peoples problems are. They act like they know you when they know absolutely jack fucking shit. They just wanna force their impressions of the world onto you. Fuck if it’s even remotely true.

Fucking have the few people I know I push away. I know I’m doing it. I’m aware of my actions. But I just I don’t know. Don’t care? Trying to react with anything but hostility when people try to talk to me is impossible for me. Like I genuinely can’t. And I mean yeah I definitely put it on myself. Ain’t no doubt in my mind about it I’m aware of it. But I just can’t help it. Self destruction is just something I do all the time. Anytime shit be going even moderately well for me I gotta go and fuck it all up. Even if part of me doesn’t even want to that just gets fucking overridden in my fucked up brain and it happens whether consciously aware or not. I hate myself for it but I just can’t not do it. I don’t know what I’m saying there isn’t really any point in what I’m saying I’m just saying shit for the sake of it. But it’s whatever. Part of me hurts because this is my life but I’ve made my choices. I must live with them. Say what you will about me, how I’m a shitty person, how I’m a failure, all that. It’s genuinely true, I won’t deny it. But at least the one difference is at least I acknowledge that yeah, I put it all on myself. I am my own undoing.