#so i’ll remember those grapes forever…….. and that apple……………

[bunniepaws]

i don’t think i’ll ever eat another apple that was as tasty or as sweet as the one i had when i was like 12 on a pumpkin patch hayride at 5 pm in perfect weather. or grapes that were crispier and more flavorful than the ones i had in my boyfriends kitchen at two am w bare feet on cold tile.

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

On A Scale Of One To Wine How Are You A Venti?

Diluc X Venti

CW: Mentions of alcohol. THIS IS AN UNFINISHED PIECE

A/N: Title make no sense but it’s funny to me so we keep it. Is this set in the same universe as my fic “Sea Foam and Lava Rock”? Nah not in the slightest. Is does still DiluVen? Yes! :D

Under the read more cause it’s a mess

------

One of the things Diluc plans for is theft. His family wine and fruit are famous for their quality, that many rival brands or even those desiring to make a quick buck would try to steal.

The problem was that his thief had good taste. Another was that they left all sorts of odd...treasures in place of the stolen goods. Pearls, gold, jewelry, and more that must've been found on the sea floor.

Of all the things Diluc expected to be pilfering through his merchandise, he didn’t expect it to be a mermaid of all things.

Rats? Sure.

A stowaway? Possibly.

A mermaid? Not a chance. 

Mermaids weren’t real and if they were they must have kept well hidden and steered clear of human activity, especially if those legends of humans hunting mermaids had any merit.

But here they were anyway, with a pale thin webbed hand holding a rather expensive bottle of grape wine and a half eaten apple in the other. The light of his lantern reveals their iridescent teal tail, half dipped into the sea below the dock.

Now he doesn’t know much about mermaids- again they weren’t real so why would he bother- but clearly- and he’s making a guess here- but he could definitely be wrong.

Mermaids live for thousands of years if he remembers right, so despite them looking so young they could be anywhere from twenty to a thousand years plus.

Their confidence though admirable is foolish. Diluc knows that even if he's not the sort to capture or harm a creature - again they didn't exist until just now- if those tales were true shouldn't they be more careful?

Diluc’s eyes scan the docks, quiet as usual this time of night, not a soul except for the occasional light from the look outs. His eyes look back down at the mermaid- merman? He doesn't know if human gender terms even apply at this point.

Their curious yet mesmerizing teal eyes glimmer in the lanterns light as they chew their stolen apple slowly.

He needs to deal with them, mermaid-merman-whatever, he might not be strapped for cash but profit loss is profit loss.

-------- End

Thanks for reading! Not sure if I’ll ever continue this piece but if I ever do here’s my notes below I guess???

______

OG Idea:

Little merman Venti gets caught in Diluc’s net after stealing one apple too many from his ship, Diluc let’s him go only to be stuck with a merman who keeps flirting with him poorly...but is it really poor flirting when it’s working even with the language barrier? (if this ain’t a cute comedy I will riot and fight you(me))

Of course this did not happen but this little thing inspired “Seafoam and Lava Rock” and honestly I just wanted to see some cute merVenti and Diluc that’s really why I wrote those.

vvvv what I wanted to write to continue the current fic but didn’t cause brain hurty for a whoooooooooooole year+ D:

< What Happens Summed Up: Venti confesses to not having enough to eat because the sailors have fished far too much/are too close for comfort and how he's been hungry for a while and saw that the humans eat these fruits and such and diluc is like ugh I guess I'll feed you now can you like transform or something or is that a- o holy shit you have legs and are very naked oh my god...then they stay together for a while as venti decides to be a singer for his ship since he does work part time as a bard for some ships but got thrown over for insulting the captain for being a buffoon and braggart with no actual claim that or just make it him irritating Zhongli cause that’s funnier and then it’s just cute fluff forever I just want them to be happy and hold hands very softly at the end with like a cute promise or something I’m not crying you(me) are every second you’re(me again) not writing this aaaaaaaaaaaa ;v; >

<A line that’s suppose to be in the story vvvv

Curse my bleeding heart-

"Alright you can stay”

And he begins to cheer [insert bard talking grumpy bird man here]

-----

If I ever decide to finish this well...you’ll all know cause I will make a nice post :D

[starstruckpurple]

Long post ahead. I will make cookies for people who read this. 🍪 (a single cookie emoji). TW: food, depictions of slight psychological abuse. TL;DR is at the bottom in red.

I have major sensory issues around literally all of the fruits and a small percentage of vegetables (such as eggplants, brussel sprouts, broccolis, peppers, that's all I can remember for now). I'm fat and I have to lose weight because I feel like it has started affecting my physical, mental and emotional health.

Sometime in the future I'll go to a dietician, I'm sure they will give me a list including fruits (because duh), I'll specifically tell them I have sensory issues around certain foods. But I don't think I can avoid eating some of them.

Almost all of my life I felt extreme guilt for making my family go through my "picky eating". My relatives would talk about my not eating any fruits, when I was with them, making me smell all that fruit bowls while they were eating (I had to be there), as you can guess it was an extreme sensory hell for my autistic ass. Some of my core memories were their talking about me, forcing me to bite a banana while my dad was shouting at me for not eating and having a panic attack, later shutting down, over a banana, making me drink carrot and apple juice in exchange for letting me buy a collection of my favourite toys— In short, I can clearly say that I cannot remember a single memory in which I didn't feel any shame, guilt, anxiety concerning fruits. For ten years I didn't and couldn't eat any raw fruits, artificial flavours (juices, candies, snacks etc) were fine though. But as soon as I see that apple, biting it, all that nasty juices, all that smell and weird flavours made me gag. I could eat apple pies fine, I could eat dried grapes (although I'm not a fan of it) but the raw fruit? Get that away from me. There's this fruit spectrum installed in my brain, I can't get rid of it. For some fruits, I couldn't tolerate their smells. For some of them, I couldn't tolerate sounds they made when being eaten. For some of them it's their taste. With some of them, I had a very toxic relationship (such as carrots and bananas, because, duh, trauma). I'm sure you can relate to this.

My mother has suffered my autism, my sensory problems so much that when I mention her about my not eating any fruits, even if I want to communicate and explain myself, she immediately says she's fed up with this, and wants me to stop talking about it as it makes her sad. I don't want to make her sad but I can't help it. Generally my family says that "It's just a fruit, not a poison", back then I would try explaining them that it does feel like a poison to me, I don't explain anything anymore because I have realised that they will never be able to understand my experience, or how my brain interprets fruits in general, and it's not their fault that they will not be able to understand. Its been approximately two years that I have started making peace with my past self, that part of me saying "If only my parents listened me, if only they tried to understand, if only they didn't force me or belittle me...", lots of 'if only's. I have survived. I was able to get my head out of those deep, dark waters solely by my own inner strength. I have realised even though I am glad to be the daughter of my parents, even though I love them so much, only I could truly parent myself.

This realisation was extremely isolating and freeing. If I really need to separate myself from my own body, pierce my soul into two, mold a mother out of that broken glass; if I really need to take care of myself by myself (something I couldn't do, a mindset I didn't have in the first sixteen years of my life), I need to be kind to my inner child too, at the same time. But I don't know where to start. I know, yet I do not. How does one start eating fruits? I have just been born. I know nothing.

For those who love eating fruits but have sensory sensitivity around a different group of food, can you please share tips about how to eat fruits? I have major sensory issues around literally all of the fruits. I want to at least tolerate some of them for short periods of time. Don't worry about me though, I will make sure that I will get enough self care, self love, so much support. Do not hesitate sending me a message to help. I will be forever glad, I'm a magician, I will forever be whispering your name when I'm doing a good spell.

This post was such a heavy burden to write, I may add some other things later. To be continued.

Thank you for all if you read every single word. I feel vulnerable, but even being vulnerable has so much strength in it. It feels good to open my heart completely.

[indestinatus]

my love, my life - AO3 

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

6

“Give Ima a kiss,” Ziva got down to her level, showing her cheek with a side smile.

Tali planted a wet kiss followed by soft giggles, her pigtails swaying from side to side.

“The best kiss in the world,” Ziva adjusted the schoolbag straps on her shoulders and pressed a finger to her chin, “what do you have to remember today, mon coeur?”

Tali replied with a soft voice, “have courage and be kind,” her brown eyes wide while she nodded to her mother.

“That’s right, princess,” Ziva’s finger caressed her cheek gently, pride shining in her eyes, “just like Cinderella. Now go or your father will get late for work.”

Tali nodded again, taking her mother’s words very seriously.

Ziva stood up and found Tony staring at her, his smile soft. This happened every day and still, his eyes never changed, a twinkle of adoration permanent.

“I thought I had the best kiss in the world,” he said with a smirk just before his soft lips met hers for a spare of a moment, “guess I’ll have to up my game.”

“You’ll never win,” she smiled while he took Tali’s hand and directed them to the car, along a tiled path crossing the garden towards the main gate. 

Ziva watched them leave hand-in-hand like they did every morning, and every morning her heart felt the same: a sore feeling of time passing too fast just before her eyes.

She knew this was a memory she would treasure later on.

Tali waved at her once they got to the end of the path showing her big front teeth gap. Tony cast a wide grin her way, as if also not believing this was their daily lives now. 

Ziva smiled.

°°°

The feeling that I’m losing her forever And without really entering her world I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter That funny little girl

9

“One, two, three, four,” Tony moved his piece across the board, “OH, NOOO.”

Tali’s laughter filled the room, her body contorting until she was lying at the ground with a hand on her belly, her cheeks red.

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME,” Tony’s hands pulled his own hair but his smile was wide, “I’m already in debt because your mother has hotels everywhere.”

“I thought you’d already be accustomed to us winning by now, dear,” Ziva smiled wide, her eyes twinkling at the little girl laughing out loud next to her.

Ziva extended a hand and Tali high fived it with a big smile, her dimples showing in her cheeks.

“Why are you two are always against me, uh?” though his words were annoyed, the look he cast at Ziva was of pure adoration, a side smirk appearing as his eyes twinkled.

Tali chuckled in joy, swaying from side to side on the floor, looking at him with the excitement of a certain victory about to come.

“Guess I’ll go to jail,” said Tony with a mocked pout as he moved his piece to the other side of the board.

“You’re used to it, Dad,” replied Tali with a glint in her eyes.

Tony turned to Ziva with his eyebrows raised, “you’ve… told her?”

Ziva huffed and started to laugh, “about… your time in jail? Of course I didn’t.”

Tony looked at Tali, who was trying not to smile at her own wit, her cheeks turning red again. His lips opened in a mischievous grin.

He threw himself at her, tickling her sides until Tali’s laughter grew louder and louder. This Friday night was chilly, but their happiness made the room warm enough.

Ziva smiled.

°°°

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table Barely awake, I let precious time go by

12

“Ughhh, that makes no sense,” Tali let her head fall at the table, the pencil escaping her fingers. 

“Let’s try that another way then, mon coeur,” Ziva stood up and walked towards the fruit basket at the kitchen isle.

Tali raised her head with a frown, clearly annoyed, her eyes blinking away the tiredness of the late hours of the night. 

Ziva put an apple in front of her and started cutting it into pieces.

“So this,” she showed a piece of it to Tali, who sighed and rested her head on her elbows, staring at it, “is a quarter of the apple.”

Ziva cut it again, “and this is half of that piece,” she ate it and smiled with her mouth full, making Tali huff a soft chuckle, “delicious. Here, let’s try together.”

Tali took the piece and Ziva helped her cut it in half.

“So half of a quarter is what of the whole apple?” she asked softly while Tali was stared at it with a serious face, the gears of her mind visibly rotating through her expression.

Tali put all pieces together, forming an apple again, except for the slice Ziva had eaten, which was missing. 

“This one missing, it was one in…?”

“Eight.”

“Then how many are left?”

“Seven. Seven in eight,” Tali nodded and lifted her eyes to Ziva, understatement filling them suddenly.

“Then if we take another apple,” Ziva put a new apple on top of the breakfast table, “and add those still remaining to the hidden pieces of the new apple,” she talked slowly and Tali followed her gestures attentively, “how many will there be?”

Her daughter blinked a few times, biting her lower lip just like her until a big smile opened in her lips.

“There will be fifteen pieces, eight hidden inside that one,” she pointed to the uncut fruit, then to her homework in front of her, taking up her pencil once again.

Ziva tousled her hair, “great job, dear.”

Tali lifted her twinkling eyes filled with pride to her mother, the tiredness gone completely, “thanks, Ma.”

Ziva smiled.

°°°

What happened to the wonderful adventures The places I had planned for us to go Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t And why, I just don’t know

15

“What about Cairo…?” asked Ziva softly, looking at the screen in front of her.

Tony took out his glasses and turned to her with soft eyes.

“You sure?” he asked gently, tilting his head, “even after we…?”

“After we what?” a voice came into view, entering the balcony where they had been stationed all afternoon with a computer on top of the coffee table.

Tali jumped inside the hammock next to her parents and let one foot dangled out to swing herself, a bunch grapes in her hand as she looked at them inquisitively.

Ziva cleared her throat and nodded at Tony, who understood she was taking the reins of the conversation.

“When you… were little, Cairo was where we met for the first time. Your father and I,” Ziva replied slowly while Tali popped grape after grape in her mouth, “and we have… certain memories there that can be difficult to address.”

“Oh,” Tali nodded, her hand stopping mid-air as she realized this was a heavy topic, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no, no, it’s okay, mon coeur,” Ziva smiled fondly, “it’s part of your story.”

She turned to Tony and met him looking at her softly, gently, as if she was made of porcelain. He raised her knuckles to his lips and kissed them tenderly.

“We need to take her there,” Ziva glanced at the screen again.

It showed ticket prices for their next trip together.

Tony nodded and kissed her knuckles one more time before putting his glasses back to search for hotel bookings.

“You know, Egypt has two of the seven world wonders,” said Tali distractedly, her eyes directed at the bright stars above her, “we could start collecting them.”

Tony glanced at her and nodded, eyes studying her close, “is Hawaii one of them?”

“No, Dad,” her laughter filled the night sky.

“Well, I guess we could always make our own, uh?” Tony’s twinkled as he opened a playful grin towards his daughter. 

She chuckled again and they started discussing the possible reasons why various places should enter their list.

Ziva smiled.

°°°

Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute The feeling in it Slipping through my fingers all the time

17

“MAAA?” her voice came from upstairs, making Ziva lift her eyes from the book she was reading.

“YES, TA?”

“COULD YOU HELP ME WITH SOMETHING, PLEASE?”

Ziva closed the book without hesitation and made the way to her daughter’s room, her lips revealing a small smirk to herself.

She knocked at the door and Tali opened it with a swift move, startling her.

“I need your help with this,” she motioned to her hair, “I don’t know why you passed me those genes.”

Tali was completely disheveled, her hair a lion mane around her, light brown curls pointing everywhere. Her forehead was furrowed in a frown and her eyes blotty, as if she gave up trying to style it and cried in anger with the whole situation.

“Yeah, yeah sure,” Ziva smiled softly and directed her to a chair just in front of a big ground mirror in one side of her room, “something special tonight?”

Tali appeared visibly calmer once Ziva started gently detangling her curls, swift fingers comforting her by quickly separating her hair into sections. 

“Yeah… sort of,” she replied, eyes avoiding her mother’s, who was taking each hairpin from her mouth and placing them at her hair, “it looked terrible.”

“You don’t look terrible,” Ziva found her worried eyes through the mirror, “far from it, T. Only by having youth you’re already beautiful.” 

Tali remained silent, her eyes studying her own features while Ziva made a low bun with her hair, curls starting to frame her face. Ziva finished and the feeling of a finger on Tali’s chin made her turn to her mother.

“Don’t ever doubt your own beauty, Tali,” brown eyes looked at her softly, “I may be biased, but every aspect of you is beautiful in my eyes. Even more now, look at yourself.”

Tali turned to the mirror. She did look beautiful, the low bun making her feel more mature somehow, little light brown curls lose making her dark eyes pop with the contrast. She sighed, smiling softly. Tali knew talking to her mother would ease all her concerns.

“Thank you, Ma.”

Two light knocks sounded at the door, followed by it slowly opening to her room.

“Going out tonight?” asked Tony, taken aback by how similar Tali looked to Ziva, “where, may I ask?”

Tali opened a big grin. She turned to her mother and answered in Hebrew, making her father instantly sigh annoyed.

“Will I really need to start learning Hebrew now?” his eyes darted to Ziva, pleading for an explanation, “or will you two save me from wasting my time doing so and just stop speaking this secret code of yours?”

Ziva glanced at Tali, who was beaming with mischief, then turned back to Tony, replying to him also in Hebrew. He growled in frustration and closed the door, rolling his eyes with a grunt. 

Tali burst out laughing.

Ziva smiled.

°°°

Do I really see what’s in her mind Each time I think I’m close to knowing She keeps on growing Slipping through my fingers all the time

18

“Three, two, one, smileee.”

Click.

“Tony, get out of there, will you?” Ziva huffed a laugh at Tony making funny poses behind Tali, “we already have enough photos of you making weird faces.”

“What,” Tony continued to change his pose, now showing his muscles to the camera, “tonight is special, right? People need to know I’m her father.”

“People don’t need to know that,” she shoved him to the side, taking a step back again to capture Tali, who just looked at him annoyed, “though they all probably know it already with you continuously showing off.”

“I’m not showing off,” his frown made Ziva smile, “I’m protecting her,” he crossed his arms and let her took the pictures.

“I’m sure she can take care of herself, dear.”

Click.

Tali looked stunning wearing a champagne-colored satin prom dress, garden roses already decorating the corsage around her wrist. Her hair was down and her soft curls fell over her shoulders, a glint of excitement in her eyes making her even more gorgeous.

The ring bell rang before Tony could retort.

Ziva opened the door with a smile and a nervous young man stepped into the living room. His eyes landed on Tali and stayed, widening while he took her in.

Tony crossed his arms and inflated his chest, stepping in front of him.

“Name.”

The young man changed his stance, taking a deep breath and clenching his jaw, “Ray, sir,” in his defense, he held Tony’s killing stare with braveness.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Tony huffed than turned to Ziva, shaking his head, “okay. Not the best name, but that’s not your fault. Time.”

“I’ll bring her back by midnight, sir.”

“Tony, stop with all this nonsense,” Ziva placed a hand on his arm and pulled Tali forward to her date, “it’s just a party.”

“I’m not done yet,” he managed to get out of her grip, “best Bond.”

“What, Tony, that is way past the limits-”

“Daniel Craig,” said the boy without backing down.

Tony nodded, eyes narrowing, “everyone knows it’s Sean Connery.”

The young man didn’t reply, his hands respectfully behind his back as he clenched his jaw and stared back at Tony, who looked him up and down.

“People say I look a lot like a young Robert Wagner.”

“Robert Wagner isn’t a Bond, sir.”

Tony nodded once and clicked his tongue, uncrossing his arms, “okay, I approve of him. Be back on time and fear the shadows, it’s me watching you from afar.”

“Oh, for god’s sake, let him be,” Ziva pulled Ray towards Tali, pushing them for a final picture together. He was visibly relieved, eyes never leaving Tali’s as he opened a wide smile. 

Click.

“Have fun, sweetie!” Ziva’s voice echoed down the path leading to the street as the boy opened the car’s door to let Tali in.

“MIDNIGHT,” Tony yelled towards them, “LIKE CINDERELLA, UH TALI? YOUR FAVORITE.”

“Tony, she’s not a child,” Ziva laughed at how concerned he looked, “let her have some fun, please.”

“I know, it’s just,” he sighed as Ziva closed the front door behind them, “she’s my little girl.”

Ziva looked at him fondly, patting his chest and taking his hand, “I know that, dear,” she led them towards the living room, “and you look nothing like Robert Wagner.”

“What,” Tony huffed a laugh and turned to her, his eyes thankful for the distraction, “of course I do. I know I do. A hotter, younger version of him.“ 

“If you say so,” Ziva snuggled up beside him as they sit down on the couch, laying her head on his shoulder.

Tony kissed her hair and smiled in fondness, “be my Bond girl tonight?”

“Always.”

Ziva smiled.

°°°

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture And save it from the funny tricks of time

19

Tali yelled loudly, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED?” Tony’s voice came from the living room, getting closer and closer as he jumped multiple stair steps in one go, “TALI, YOU OKAY?”

Him and Ziva appeared looking alarmed by her door, Ziva carrying a kitchen knife.

“I got in,” Tali’s fingers shook as she pointed at the computer screen and couldn’t stop crying, “I got in, I got in, I got in.”

“You got in…?” Ziva started crying in an instant, letting the knife down at Tali’s bed.

Tony raced to the computer, his eyes wide.

It gives us immense pleasure to inform you that your application for admission has been approved…

His scream of joy echoed in her room just before he hugged Tali and swept her off her feet.

“My little girl got in,” he muttered again and again, laughing through his tears, “I’m so proud of you, sweet cheeks.”

“We look forward to having you at Yale University this upcoming academic year,” Ziva’s voice escalated as she read the email, suddenly jumping to hug her daughter once Tony let her down to the ground.

“My Tali will be everything she’s meant to be.”

“I’m gonna study Law, Ima,” Tali said through the tears, her smile hurting in her cheeks, “I’m gonna have a voice.”

“Yes you will, T,” Tony hugged them both tightly, the whole family sobbing with joy, “you’re our star.”

“My love, my life,” Ziva grabbed her cheeks again before hugging her one more time, “we’re so proud of you.”

Tali cried.

Tony laughed.

Ziva smiled.

°°°

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

20

“Give Ima a kiss,” Ziva said with sad eyes, showing her cheek with a small smile.

Tali planted a wet kiss followed by soft laughter, hugging her tightly.

“The best kiss in the world,” Ziva adjusted the schoolbag straps on her shoulders and caressed her cheek, “did you remember to call the landlord, mon coeur?”

“Yeah, Ma, everything’s fine.”

“Okay, okay, just checking,” Ziva cast her a soft smile, opening the front door with an ache in her heart, “it’s a mother’s job.”

“I’m gonna be fine,” Tali smiled wide as she started to walk towards the car, “I’m gonna be great, you’ll see.”

Tears threatened to spill as Tony placed a hand on her shoulder, his smile soft. He hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead, wiping the falling tears.

“I thought I had the best kiss in the world,” he whispered with his lips on her skin, “guess I’ll have to up my game.”

“You’ll never win,” she smiled softly, inhaling deeply after wiping her tears.

Tony kissed her forehead again, then grabbed her cheeks and looked her in the eye, “I’ll call you when we get to New York, okay?”

Ziva nodded silently and let him go, her heart with an ache she knew well: the sore feeling of time passing too fast just before her eyes.

She knew this had already become a memory.

Tali waved at her once they got to the end of the path, showing her big, wide grin. Tony cast a soft smile her way, as if trying to comfort her from afar.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she waved her back, clenching the familiar necklace tightly in her fingers.

Ziva smiled.

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

The Willow Maid Part 3

@waiting4inspiration​ @gearhead66​ @inforapound​ sorry this took forever to update. More sacriligious bible references? Check. Angst? Check. Fluff? Check. Enjoy. 

The Willow Maid 

Part 3

Floki woke up in his bed once more, not remembering coming back to his bed, the last thing he remembered was catching up with his deceased wife and daughter until he collapsed. 

But his heart and his soul were healed. The way an old scar is given balm to soften it before it reheals anew. 

“You live son of Odin, I thought you were going to climb through and pass right over into the next plane.” Rayth greeted in amusement as she came in with a large brunch since he had slept for over a day to recover. “How do you feel?” She asked thoughtfully. 

“Healed.” Floki answered honestly. 

“Good, it’s important to heal the mind, heart, spirit and soul along with healing the body.” She nodded in agreement as she casually picked a pear to munch on it as he devoured his large feast that she brought him. 

“I can’t begin to thank you.” Floki offered meekly as he paused in eating to look her in the eye. 

“You’re welcome, after you’ve eaten, I’ll take you back to your people.” Rayth informed him and Floki was strangely saddened and disappointed that his time with her was over. 

“So soon?” He asked. 

“Yes, you are needed back at your new home, your people will need more guidance.” Rayth explained. 

“Oh,” Floki nodded in understanding before he begrudgingly continued to eat the meal. Once he was done Rayth gave him back his previous clothes and had him get dressed while she got her parting gift to him together. 

“What’s this?” He asked when she handed him two heavy burlap sacks connected by a thick rope. 

“A parting gift, you will find seeds in one and saplings in another. Plant them wherever you wish, they will sprout and grow and in abundance, no more will your little settlement go hungry.” She explained. Her own expression melancholy before she took his hand and led him out of the tree and down the steps around the outside of the tree like a spiral staircase, the bark changing as they descended until they were back in the settlement. 

“How will the settlement be able to worship their patron goddess?” Floki asked. 

“Be kind to the women and children in your life. No one is to rape or harm another.” She repeated. 

“What kind of offerings will give you the most joy?” He asked second. 

“A wildflower or two, Your settlement is still very small, I would not want to put any kind of burden on anyone. So when the settlement is stable, all the houses for the people are built and the crops are abundant, then I will take 3 or 4 wildflowers, whatever you find growing on the way to this alter.” She answered as she gestured to the hollowed out opening in the tree they were standing at the base of, not too far away from the settlement, just barely into the trees. 

“Also, these were the animals left at the other alters, I want you to have them so they could help you and your settlement.” She explained as a few cattle and some sheep and goats came out of a doorway in the tree as they surrounded them, twine tied around them in halters and leads before she handed the lead twine to him. 

“Goodbye Floki, son of Odin.” She bid him before she turned and walked up the steps again, the bark of the tree changing to that of the old and as soon as she turned out of sight, it was like the tree returned to normal, the door closing up to become the hollowed out tree it had been and the light that had been shining down on them from her tree vanishing and that left Floki standing there in the forest with the animals looking expectantly at him, wishing he could still say goodbye before he found a small tiny flower growing near his feet and picked it and laid it in the hollow tree trunk. 

“Goodbye Rayth, thank you for everything, I will miss you dearly.” He whispered before he picked up the bags once more and walked the short distance away to find his small settlement, amazed he was alive. 

“Where have you been?” They asked. 

“I was in the World Tree with a new goddess, daughter of Lilith and Loki- Rayth, she has given me seeds and saplings so that our settlement will no longer grow hungry ever again and all these animals.” He answered as he showed them the bags and what was inside as the animals then decided to graze on the grass around them. 

“We must plant them all as quickly as possible.” The settlers agreed and took them and quickly planted everything before a storm seemed to come out of nowhere and the moment everything was planted- it started to rain a warm rain and Floki stayed out in it, feeling and knowing that this was Rayth’s rain and happily let it drench him before he went back into a tent. 

To his delight- everything that they planted grew 10 times as fast as any other plant and in just a matter of a week, they were able to harvest a crop so abundant that the storehouse they built for them- it all didn’t fit to the point they had to build two more store houses. They had pumpkin, squash and gourds, beans, wheat, rye and barley and oats including fruits, like grapes, apples and pears and all kinds of berries and a nearby river was now teaming with salmon and other fish. 

Floki then showed them the tree that would become their alter as everyone left a handful of wildflowers as was asked and Floki and his people felt her blessing. 

But there were still burning questions that Floki wanted answered, so he left a handful of wildflowers at the altar and laid on his belly and waited, and waited, and waited some more, patient as ever until finally he saw movement. 

“Waiting for me?” Raith asked as she opened up the altar and leaned her arms over the ledge so they were face to face as he handed her the flowers which she gratefully took. 

“Yes, I have some questions if you have the time and patience to answer them.” He explained. 

“For you? I do, come on through,” she invited and Floki crawled on his belly through the altar and back into her home. 

“Tea?” She asked as she helped him stand up. 

“Yes please,” Floki nodded as he followed her through her house, remembering how it seemed to be a maze before she went to her kitchen and put a kettle of hot water in the fire to heat up as he took a seat at the little table she had there in her kitchen. 

“So? What are your questions?” She prompted once the tea was done and she served both of them a cup of it. 

“Is there another reason why you don’t like animal sacrifices or the blood of animals?” He asked thoughtfully and judging by her painful facial expression and suddenly rigid poster that he seemed to have struck a nerve. 

“If I tell you, you have to promise to never repeat it and never bring this matter up again.” Rayth warned. 

“I swear.” Floki vowed. 

“In the beginning- of the creation of man, after the first man Adam rejected my mother because she demanded to be treated as an equal instead of a subservient, the Creator- he made for Adam a second woman, made from his rib rather than the very earth he was, Eve- who was submissive, young, naive, fragile and completely dependant on Adam. Everything my mother was the opposite of. They sinned and became imperfect- because my father vowed to avenge my mother, because after Adam rejected my mother, she was kicked out of the garden like paradise- called Eden.  So once Adam and Eve were out- they had children, many children, their first born was Cain and a second son was Able. Cain and Abel both sought to regain the Creator’s favor. I was the firstborn of my parents, so we all kind of grew up together and I fell in love with Abel and since I was a direct descendant of the Creator since my father was a son of the Creator and my mother the Creator’s creation- and closer to perfection than he was, Able asked me how to gain the Creator’s favor. And I loved him so much that I told him exactly how to do it. The Creator gave life, so life should be given back to him, and you know as well as I do that blood is life.” Rayth recalled, her voice becoming thick with emotion as a single tear streamed down her face at the memories as Floki reached out and held her hand in sympathy. 

“So Abel promised me that if his first sacrifice was accepted, he would make another for me, so that I could be completely human with him and be his wife and I couldn’t hardly wait because the Creator has that power. But then…” Rayth broke down into sobs before Floki stood up and pulled her to her feet and hugged her tightly and consoled her physically since he didn’t want to say anything and interrupt her revelation. 

“Cain offered his best vegetation, Abel sacrificed a lamb, the Creator approved of Abel’s sacrifice but he did not approve of Cains. And Cain became so angry and wrathful that he killed Abel. The first murder on earth and it was all my fault, if I hadn’t told Abel about the power of life’s blood or if I had just lied, he would have lived. Life belongs to the Creator, all sacrifices made to any god but him are all made in part to my father instead because my father is the father to every god but the Creator who is his father in turn. How can I take delight or pleasure in the very thing that was responsible for Abel’s death? It’s so abhorrent to me. Every time I see it, I get sick because it reminds me of Able and every time I see my parents or my siblings getting drunk off of it- I get sick. Because it doesn’t belong to any of us, it belongs to the Creator and only him.” Rayth bawled into his chest. “But if that wasn’t enough- the Creator actually protected that murderer! He forbade anyone from striking him and put a curse on him so great that even I couldn’t strike at him. And when Cain founded the land of Exile, because of the Creator’s protection, I couldn’t even set foot in it! It’s all my fault and I’ve been powerless to do anything about it.” Rayth lamented. 

“No, none of this is your fault! It’s Cain’s fault, he’s the one who got angry and wrathful. All you have done was provided a way for those to find favor of the gods who want it. That is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed or guilty over. I am so sorry that this Cain took your love away from you, trust me, I know exactly what that feels like.” Floki sympathized as he stroked Rayth’s back lovingly. 

“So what happened next?” He asked. 

“The Creator offered me recompense, and he allowed me to return to the garden of eden and offered me this tree as my home and it will stay mine until Abel is brought back in the resurrection, and then and only then will I be reunited with him. But it’s just...so long to wait.” She answered. 

“How long have you been waiting?” He asked. 

“Over five millenia.” She answered with a huff of a laugh. “I figure I will wait a few more before I am reunited with him.” She ventured. 

“Then I will come and help you wait, distract you if need be.” He offered. 

“Ok.” She nodded.

[johnboothus]

Wine 101: Portugal

This episode of “Wine 101” is sponsored by E.& J. Gallo Winery. At Gallo, we exist to serve enjoyment in moments that matter. The hallmark of our company has always been an unwavering commitment to making quality wine and spirits. Whether it’s getting Barefoot and having a great time, making every day sparkle with La Marca Prosecco, or continuing our legacy with Louis Martini in Napa, we want to welcome new friends to wine and share in all of life’s moments. Cheers, and all the best.

In this episode of “Wine 101,” VinePair tastings director Keith Beavers discusses Portuguese wines. Listeners will learn about four regions that produce the most exciting wines in Portugal: Vinho Verde, Douro, Alentejo, and Lisboa. These regions produce their own unique red and white blends, and even some rosé.

In addition, Beavers lists the history of Portugal’s wine, which goes way beyond Port. Finally, Beavers will explain which wines from Portugal listeners can expect to see on the American market.

Tune in to become an expert on Portugal and its wines.

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Or Check out the Conversation Here

Keith Beavers: My name is Keith Beavers, and it’s my first time owning a lawn. Why does grass grow so fast?

What’s going on, wine lovers? Welcome to Episode 16 of VinePair’s “Wine 101” podcast, Season 2. My name is Keith Beavers. I’m the tastings director of VinePair. We are going to get nice with wines from Portugal. Let’s start to get a sense of this stuff, because they’ve been hanging out on our wine shelves for a long time, they have excellent value, and they’re great wines.

OK, so we’re going to talk about Portugal here, wine lovers. But we’re not going to talk about the wine called Port just yet. We’re going to get into that in another episode coming up very soon. When we talk about Portugal, I’m not going to get too far into the insanity of Port or Madeira. I say insanity because the history surrounding those two drinks is ludicrous, and I’m not gonna get into it now. But because of the popularity of these fortified wines, which we’re going to talk about soon, there are all these different styles. It’s crazy. We’re going to get into that at some point.

Today, I want to get you guys nice and comfortable with the wines from Portugal. How do I do this? I want to make a statement. Is that cool? There is something I’ve been saying about wines from Portugal for a very long time. When we owned a wine shop, we bought a lot of Portuguese wine. When I was coming up in the wine industry, learning about wine and everything, what I realized is the most affordable wines in the wine shop that have quality are wines from Portugal. That could be changing soon, but over the past decade or more, the wines of Portugal have existed on shelves. Either they’ve been ignored, or they’ve been bought not knowing where the wine is from or knowing it’s from Portugal. That’s not a fault of Portugal. It’s a fault for not educating people about this wine.

Over the last five years, people are getting more interested in wines from Portugal and more people are actually traveling to Portugal — specifically Lisbon. People would come back and say, “Have you had the wines from Portugal? They are great!” It’s exciting. I’ve even had people reach out to me on Instagram and say, “When are you going to do the Portugal episode?” I’m like what? OK, let’s do this.

Portugal is that small little rectangular country on the Iberian Peninsula, surrounded by Spain. It’s not a big country, obviously. It’s about 630 miles north to south, about 125 miles, give or take, east to west. Portugal might seem small, but it is mighty. Throughout history, this little country was once a county. Then, it was part of three counties. Then, it became its own kingdom and was also ruled by the same monarch that ruled Spain for a while. Other than that, Portugal developed as a civilization, as a country, as governments in isolation even though it’s surrounded by another country. This ability for Portugal to develop in isolation, even though it’s surrounded by all these powers, was a power itself. It was actually a very smart power, maybe smarter than the other powers.

When you’re reading about this time, which is around the mid- to late 14th century, a couple of things stick out. One is when a Spanish king died and there was no apparent heir after his death, there was a big conflict to figure out who was going to be the next on the throne. Portugal was involved and England came through to assist the Portuguese in winning a very important battle, which then resulted in a marriage, a royal marriage between England and Portugal. That sealed the relationship and friendship with these two countries forever, even to this day. This is what brought the popularity of the wine Port to the fore of history. I’ll get into it in the fortified wine episode but Port was considered the Englishman’s wine.

Then, there’s the relationship between Portugal and Spain. How did those borders not blow apart all the time? Well, it’s complicated, of course. Something I read that was very interesting is that as Spain developed itself as a country, it realized that maintaining a coastline was dangerous and very expensive. They were happy to have Portugal maintain a large coastline of the Iberian Peninsula. I’m sure it’s a lot more complicated than that, but that’s an interesting tidbit there. I was obsessed with how this country has developed in isolation because it had to do with the wine as well.

At some point when the bubonic plague was a big deal, a lot of the people in Portugal left the inland part of the country, and there was an exodus to the coast. They wanted to live in these towns and eventually get on ships and go somewhere else because the bubonic plague was killing everybody. This is interesting because this is a country that decided going east and conquering anything over there was not as important to them as getting on ships, getting out into the ocean, and getting away from what was happening in Europe. That began the Portuguese reputation as a seafaring nation. They settled in Brazil, also India, which is a big deal. Christopher Columbus married into a Portuguese noble family. It’s amazing, Filipa, who was a knight of a religious order, commanded soldiers in these religious orders. She came from the household of Prince Henry the Navigator, who at that point had 15 or more maritime discoveries under his belt.

These are some of the factors, I believe, that helped this country develop in isolation, even though it’s surrounded by all these powers. In this little country, to this day, there are 148 identified native varieties to Portugal, and I believe about a hundred of them are approved for winemaking. Douro, which we’ll get to in a second, is famous for Port wine. If you’re making wine there, you’re allowed to use up to 30 of the 100 approved varieties to make wine. Now, they don’t always do that, but that’s just crazy, right? This can add to the confusion trying to understand wines from this region. There was also a time in this country where the leadership was a corporate one-party rule, and this money-making leadership machine decided that cooperatives were the best way to go as far as the wine industry is concerned. This was in the 1930s.

During this time, 100 cooperatives were built in the northern part of Portugal alone in the first 20 years of this leadership. Obviously, the goal here was quantity over quality. The government wasn’t very generous when it came to funding new technology for cooperatives. They stayed the way they were for a long time. I can’t do a Portugal episode without mentioning that in the 1940s, towards the end of World War II, two brands of wine came out of Portugal and hit the United States and were insane successes. You had all these men coming back from World War II, and they had a taste for European wine, but the Americans had a sweet tooth. These two brands out of Portugal, Lancers and Mateus, were fizzy, sweet, sparkling rosé wines, and they hit the American market. They were huge successes through the 1970s into the 1980s. I’m a Gen Xer, I’m 46-years old. I remember my parents talking all about Lancers and Mateus jokingly at times, but they drank it and liked it.

These are all moments that are important in understanding the history of how Portugal came up, especially in wine. However, the date that’s important to you and I in the future of Portuguese wine is 1986. This is when Portugal entered into the European Union. I’ll go into this more during the fortified wine episode, but Portugal has some of the oldest wine laws in the world. That was one of the first areas that had a famous wine region that needed a geographical delimitation, if you will. In 1756, the prime minister at the time demarcated the vineyards in the Douro, where Port is famous, to make sure that everyone knew this is where this wine was coming from. By the ‘70s into the early ‘80s, the controlled appellation system of Portugal had come a long way since 1756. It was developed in a similar fashion to what the French or the Spanish would see.

In 1986, when they came into the European Union, it was absolutely organized and standardized for compliance with the rest of Europe. Also, under the EU, cooperatives, technology, and machinery were updated more often. This is the Portugal we know today. OK, get this. Loureiro, Alvarinho, Bical, Encruzado, Arinto, Añato Vaz, Rabigato, Códega do Larinho, Viosinho, Gouveio. These are the names that I probably butchered of the white wine varieties that are used mostly in Portugal. Now, get this. Touriga Nacional, Aragonez, Tinta Roriz, Tinta Nera, and Alicante Bouschet. These are the red varieties that are used most often in Portugal.

Now, I said the word Tempranillo, then I said the word out of Aragonez, then I said the word Tinta Roriz. They are all the same grape. In Alentejo, which we’ll talk about, they call Tempranillo Aragonez. In the Douro, which we’ll talk about, they call Tempranillo Tinta Roriz. As you can tell, besides Tempranillo, what you’ve heard of especially if you’ve listened to this podcast, these other varieties are native to the Iberian Peninsula and specifically to Portugal. Even though the country is planting varieties like Syrah, Chardonnay, and Sauvignon Blanc, those aren’t important. What’s important about Portugal are the native varieties and the blends they make from these native varieties and what you can enjoy on the American market. The majority of the wines coming from Portugal are going to be blends of some of these varieties.

Although you’ll hear people in the industry, probably sommeliers or representatives of certain areas in Portugal, there’s a lot of talk about the smaller regions, but there’s not enough of it on the American market for everyone to enjoy. What I’m going to do today is talk about four specific areas in Portugal that you’re going to find in the American market to get yourself comfortable with these wines. As the new regions come into our country, onto our market, you’ll be hip to what’s already on the shelves.

I’m going to talk about two regions in the north, Vinho Verde, and briefly on Douro. Then. we’re going to go south and talk about a large region called Alentejo and then a new-ish region called Lisboa. Even though I’ve listed some of the most used or the most well-known varieties, red and white in Portugal, I’m going to mention new ones as we get through these four regions. Each region has its own specific variety that they play around with, in addition to the most popular variety. These are four very exciting regions that make very exciting wine that we can enjoy right now. It’s so cool.

One of the most well-known but misunderstood is a region called Vinho Verde in the absolute northwest part of Portugal in a region called the Minho, which is named after a river that runs through it. This region’s great. You’ll see Vinho Verde all over the American market. If you’ve already had it, you might say, “Oh, my gosh, it’s a little bit fizzy. Why is this white wine a little bit fizzy and it’s not a sparkling wine?” Well, that’s what’s so great about this region. The wines coming out of Vinho Verde reflect the history of the place. Here we have the Loureiro grape, and the Arinto grape but they also have a grape called Trajadura and a grape called Avesso. The sheer amount of varieties that are used in Portugal can be really dizzying, so let’s talk about the style of Vinho Verde.

If you imagine a walk-up apartment building or a brownstone building in New York City, and you were to tear that down, you would have this one urban plot of land. That’s how big a lot of the vineyards are in Vinho Verde. Not all of them but in 2011, over 129,000 of them were. The tradition was to train the vines on pergolas so that the grapevines would go above people’s heads. The idea was two things: Training the vines higher reduced the risk of fungi infecting the vines because it’s such a rainy region, and in addition to that, people could actually grow survival crops in the ground. You would have these vines up on these pergolas and then corn, cereal, or whatever they would use for their daily diet would be down in the actual ground. Traditionally, they’d bottle the wine, let it go through malolactic conversion. I don’t know if they knew what that was at the time, but the result was a crispy, very refreshing, young white wine with a little bit of fizz to it because of that conversion.

These wines are so refreshing. I don’t even know if I can explain how refreshing they are. They’re often very affordable, $8 or $9. They’re mostly white, but some are rosé these days. There are a few reds out there, but they’re all fizzy, they’re all refreshing. Start the evening with a Vinho Verde, and you’re good to go. It’s so good, but I will say they’re not all on that level. Now, this region has really been ramping up the quality. It’s all quality stuff, but they are ramping up the focus. There are nine subregions in Vinho Verde alone, and people are now making either single-variety wines or they’re focusing their blends a little bit more and honing in on the angular side of the wine, getting more structure. These are coming onto the market little by little but what you’re going to see most is good, fresh young Vinho Verde. But get ready for the other stuff because it’s already coming on to the urban markets.

Southeast of the Minho region where Vinho Verde is is the Douro. This is the famous place for Port. This is it: the Douro Valley. I’m going to talk a lot about this in the fortified wine episode. It’s famous. It’s old. This is the place that got the 1756 demarcation from the prime minister at the time. This is actually the largest mountain vineyard in the world. We’ll get into it, but the thing about this area is the red wine grapes that are used for the Port wine: Touriga Nacional, Tinta Roriz, Touriga Franca, Tinta Barroca, and Tinto Cão (which means red dog) and 90-plus other varieties that are approved in this area. Winemakers can use up to 30 of the 100 approved in this area, as I said before. The ones that I mentioned are the ones that are used the most. There are others, of course, but the list is so long.

The still red wines that come out of the Douro that are not Port are awesome. They’re big, they’re bold, they’re full-body. They have structure. They have deep fruit. The acidity is nice and moderate. It’s heavy, but it’s not going to overwhelm your palate too much. Where it really gets you with these red wines is the tannin. These can be very tannic, but they can also be a little bit lighter. It’s crazy. They’re all over the place. When you’re looking at the Douro in a wine shop and you see still red wine, know that it’s a blend of so many different varieties and the winemaker is blending these varieties to make his or her statement on what type of wine they want to show you from the Douro. The majority is going to be that full-bodied red, but it can change.

In the southeast of Portugal is a very large wine region called Alentejo. The majority of it is a very hot region. It can reach up to 100-plus degrees in the summer. There are also some cooler areas of Alentejo and it has about eight subregions in it. It has eight subregions in it. You may not see that a lot on the American market because winemakers in those subregions don’t always put the subregion on the label, although that’s becoming more popular, which we are going to see in the future. Now, what you’re going to see from Alentejo is very affordable, blended white wine. The cooperative energy in Alentejo is intense.

There are other winemakers around the cooperatives like everywhere else in Portugal, but almost everything we see on the market here is mostly from those cooperatives. The thing is, Alentejo wasn’t always known for wine. This is where the majority of the world gets its cork. You can look out and you see cork trees as far as the eye can see, and that’s what made Alentejo, Alentejo. But now there’s wine there. They blend most of the white wine grapes I mentioned before into their white wines. Antão Vaz, Roupeiro, Arinto, Verdelho, and Alvarinho. They’re also playing with a little bit of Viognier, which is hit or miss. The reds have Tempranillo, but here they call it Aragonez, Trincadeira, and Alicante Bouschet. Alicante Bouschet is really interesting because the flesh of that grape is actually red, and they have a unique variety here called Castelão, which they blend in. You’ll see red from Alentejo, but mostly you’re going to see white and they’re going to be awesome, they’re going to be affordable, and you’re going to love them.

Last but certainly not least is Lisboa over on the coast surrounding the city of Lisbon. There’s a lot to say about Lisboa. There are nine wine regions just in this general wine region. What’s very exciting about Lisboa is there are a lot of cooperatives around here and a lot of the wine that’s coming into Lisbon, into the cafes, are these light, fresh, almost like Vinho Verde, young, refreshing wines that are sold in these 1.3-gallon jugs they call garrafas. That’s what’s happening right now.

As time moves on, this area is going to get more and more focused because of the urban environment around it. Some of the urban environment has messed with some of these smaller regions just up and around Lisbon. In the future, we’re gonna start seeing more wine coming from there. Right now on the American market, you might see a big liter bottle of white or rosé from Lisbon. Grab it. It’s fun. It’s an afternoon.

This will get you started with Portugal and make you comfortable when you’re in a wine shop looking at the Portuguese section, knowing that the majority of the wines there are from these four regions. So enjoy, drink whatever’s there, and try to figure out what grapes are in it. Maybe they don’t tell you, but it’s OK. Just enjoy the wines. If you dig it, @VinePairKeith is my Insta. Hashtag me #Wine 101. Let’s check it out.

@VinePairKeith is my Insta. Rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast from. It really helps get the word out there. And now for some totally awesome credits.

“Wine 101” was produced, recorded, and edited by yours truly, Keith Beavers, at the VinePair headquarters in New York City. I want to give a big ol’ shout-out to co-founders Adam Teeter and Josh Malin for creating VinePair. And I mean, a big shout-out to Danielle Grinberg, the art director of VinePair, for creating the most awesome logo for this podcast. Also, Darbi Cicci for the theme song. Listen to this. And I want to thank the entire VinePair staff for helping me learn something new everyday. See you next week.

Ed note: This episode has been updated for length and clarity.

The article Wine 101: Portugal appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/wine-101-portugal/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/wine-101-portugal

[benjamingarden]

Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021

  The new year has finally arrived!  I'm not sure what grocery shopping looks like in your neck of the woods now that there's yet another rise in COVID cases, but it's actually not too bad in ours.  For the most part you can select curbside pick-up or delivery if you desire.  And lately I desire.

The photo above and info below outline our monthly grocery shopping.  We will need  a few additional items: milk comes from our farmers market as does coffee for Jay (probably another $20.00 total for the month), and I may get some fresh greens in another 1-2 weeks (less then $10.00).

Our groceries for January came from BJ's and Healthy Living, a local health food store.  Typically we would also do a Hannaford order or a trip to the commissary, however, we are really well stocked on pantry and freezer items.  You'll notice there is no meat purchased.  Our freezers are fairly well stocked and we will actually be bartering with a farmer friend - our products for some of his chicken and pork, this weekend.  We are finally (FINALLY) getting eggs from the Coop Girls, and as you know, we put up a lot of veggies in the freezer from the summer garden.

I don't plan on returning to Healthy Living until March so I stocked up with that in mind.  We will probably place another BJ's order mid February-ish.

The total spent for January is anticipated to be $439.41 or just over $100.00/week.

 $269.41 (groceries already purchased) + $140.00 (bartered meat) + $30.00 (coffee, milk & greens anticipated to purchase throughout the month) = $439.41.  Our January purchases are partly for January and partly for the months to come.

Healthy Living - $174.84 (almost half of this amount is from 2 items....the dandy blend and the goji berries)

BJ's - $94.57

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Our Groceries:

Healthy Living:

The Dandy Blend Herbal Coffee Alternative is AMAZINGLY good.  I absolutely love it for iced or hot "coffee".  It's kind of expensive and a bit of a splurge.  I purchased 2 bags which will last me through April or so.  The 14 oz bags cost $22.49 each.  I've looked on Amazon and they sell a slightly smaller (11 oz) bag for around the same price so this seems to be the best deal.

The Goji Berries are added to a trail mix (we already have the other ingredients on hand) for Jay that he eats daily.  Macular degeneration runs in his family and goji berries have been shown to help prevent this.  Plus they are high in antioxidants so we decided it was worth it regardless of whether or not it works to prevent M.D..  These bags are 8 ounces and $12.49 each.  I should have bought them at Amazon because I'm pretty sure I could have gotten them cheaper.  I'll research it and purchase them there going forward if it makes sense to do so.  The 2 bags should last him just about 2 months.

I know there are cheaper dairy alternatives then Oatly ($4.99/carton) but I really love Oatly.  I prefer the lowfat version but they were out of everything except for these 4 cartons. 

We bought 12 pounds of mixed yukon & red potatoes ($1.99/lb) and 5 pounds of sweet potatoes (I splurged and bought my FAVORITE Japanese Sweet Potatoes at $2.99/lb - I call them "cake sweet potatoes" because they are soooo sweet).  Oliver and I are on the last of the sweet potatoes that we harvested and stored in the fall.  I can't believe they are almost gone!!!  We go through a moderate amount of potatoes and only purchase them organic, and the absolute best ones we've found are at Healthy Living.  This is easily a 2 month supply of each.

I have a few apples and mandarin oranges left for fruit but Jay prefers grapes so I bought a bag of grapes ($2.99/lb) and I treated myself to a couple of grapefruit ($1.49/lb).  I typically try to only buy fruit that is $1.99 or less per pound (exception being the frozen berries & cherries), but that definitely didn't happen this month.

Que Pasa is our new favorite brand of tortilla chips.  They are organic, non-GMO, and reduced sodium.  We very rarely have chips but when we do it's tortilla for the win.  They were on sale (although I'm wondering if this is a permanent sale because they were on the same sale a few months ago when I last bought them...) at $2.99/bag.

I usually make my own bread and tortillas but I like to have a bit of each in the freezer just in case.  I've used up my freezer stash of both so I purchased a loaf of Dave's bread and a pack of limited ingredient corn tortillas and whole wheat flour tortillas for the freezer. 

BJ's:

Not shown in the photo, we also bought a bag of frozen organic sweet cherries and a bag of frozen organic blueberries (3 lb bags for $13.99/ea.).  We have 2 bags of each in the freezer already.  We each eat a 1/2 cup of a mix of the two every single day so we should be good for a couple months.  I also bought Kiwi (3 lbs for $6.49) as yet another splurge because we haven't had them in forever and one bunch of organic bananas (2 lbs for $1.59).  We've found that our very favorite bananas are organic Chiquita.  They seem to be the creamiest.  I have no idea why, but the non-organic Chiquita's and other brands organic and non-organic just aren't the same.  Strange....

I keep riced cauliflower on hand in the freezer because it's one of the cheapest ways to buy cauliflower off season.  (I roast it from frozen in the oven to use as a veggie side)  I wanted to make some buffalo cauliflower though for veggie tacos, and I need pieces instead of having it riced so I bought a bag (2 lbs for $4.29).  Jay likes cooked cauliflower with cheese sauce so he'll have that as a side a few times too. 

We eat a lot of mushrooms and BJ's seems to have the best price on them so I bought 2 which will get us through a few weeks.  (24 oz containers for $4.99/ea.)

Pom Juice was a special request by the husband.  We don't usually buy juice but he requested it last month for the first time in a long time and has been enjoying it.  (48oz bottle $8.99)  I'm running low on frozen peas and frozen corn and BJ's carries the organic at a reasonable cost (each is 4 lbs for $6.99) so I stocked up.  I'm low on carrots too and their price isn't bad (5 lbs organic for $3.99).  Also not shown is a 3-pack of frozen pizza.  We keep a couple vegan frozen pizzas and a couple meat/cheese frozen pizzas on hand all of the time for the days we need something quick.  We still have 2 of the vegan so we just stocked up on the meat version (3 pack DiGiornio $13.99).

January's Meal Plan

My goal was to start posting our meal plans again, per request from many of you, but to also add photos of some of the meals this time around.  Unfortunately, I have yet to get in the habit of photographing dinner before it's served.  I hope to add this to the posts as I remember.

A Note About Our Meal Plans

I create monthly meal plans because it's what I've found to be easiest for me.  There may be some change but usually not much.  Changing works because I rotate the same 30+ meals so we would use the ingredients at some point over the next 30-45 days.  If we have perishables that need to be used up then that becomes priority and I may make changes to avoid food waste.

I usually make 2 separate meals - Jay and I eat completely different at this point.  He used to be willing to eat what I eat as his side but not so much anymore.  He's not a fan of whole grains and can only tolerate one type of veggie per meal.  So.....you can see that I tend to eat the same thing multiple nights because it's easy and I don't mind at all.  Where there's only one meal noted, I make a meat & cheese version for him and a vegan version for me.  Where there's no veggie side noted for him I use whatever I've got that needs using up or I select a frozen veggie.

You will notice that for Jays meals there are a few noticeable rotations.  

In general, chicken meals are Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Pork is Tuesdays.  And Beef is Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.  This is in part due to the fact that he tells me it's illegal to serve chicken 2 days in a row.  (insert eye roll)  

Also, other then the occasional new recipe that I try, his meals rotate about every month and a half (a different rotation will show up for summer).  

Our Sundays rotate around the same 5 meals (Tamales, Tacos, Homemade Pizza, Pot Roast, and Meatballs) because it's our farmers market day which means I want something super simple to make.  I do not make the tamales, we love those by Tucson Tamale (not an affiliate link).  Around us we can find a small variety at Healthy Living.  Tucson Tamale offers meat, vegetarian, and vegan varieties and they are sooooo delicious.  They do use oil in all of their tamales so if you are completely oil-free this is unfortunately not an option for you.

Recipe Links:

If I have posted the recipe or use a recipe posted by someone else this month then I will link to it below.  If there's a meal you'd like to see the recipe for let me know!

Quick & Easy Chicken Parm

Homemade Pizza - this is the pizza dough recipe we use

Creamy Cajun Chicken Pasta (Budget Bytes)

Apple & Stuffing Stuffed Pork Chops (Betty Crocker)

Oven-Baked BBQ Pork Ribs

Hamburger Potato Casserole (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen)

Chicken Pot Pie Muffins (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen) *I used this as a guide - I use my pie crust recipe and my pot pie recipe and bake it as muffins as shown in the vlog)

Honey Mustard Chicken (Bowl Of Delicious)

Bourbon Dijon Ham Steak (Martha Stewart - is delicious without the bourbon as well)

Mac & Cheese

Easy Weeknight Chicken Cordon Bleu

Scallops Gratin (Food Network - Ina Garten) - I use this recipe without the alcohol

Slow-Cooker Mississippi Pot Roast

Veggie Stew with Black Pepper Biscuits (vegan) (Vegan Richa)

Split Pea Soup (Vegan) (Simple Veganista)

What about you?  Do you have favorite meals that you rotate?  Do you have to cook multiple meals for different eaters?

Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[dfroza]

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments

is Deuteronomy 32 that records the words of a song that was directed as a warning from Moses to the Israelites in choosing to follow God our Creator or to turn away in idolatry by worshiping false gods.

[Deuteronomy 32]

Moses: Listen, O sky, so I may speak!

Pay attention, O earth, to what I say!

Let my teaching fall on you like raindrops;

let what I say collect like the dew,

Like rain sprinkling the grass,

like showers on the green plants.

I will proclaim the name of the Eternal;

I will utter greatness to our God.

He’s the Rock, and His work is perfect; everything He does is right.

He’s the God who can be trusted, who never does wrong

because He’s righteous and upright.

But a perverse and crooked generation has broken its word to Him.

They are not counted as His children—not with such deficiencies.

Is this how you repay the Eternal,

you foolish, unwise people?

Isn’t He your Father who produced you,

who made you and established you?

Remember the days long ago;

consider the years of past generations.

Ask your father, and he’ll explain it to you;

ask the elders, and they’ll tell you:

When God, the Most High in heaven gave all the nations their inherited territory,

when He divided the descendants of Adam into nations,

When He established the boundaries of the peoples,

as the number of the sons of God,

Because the Eternal’s territory is His people;

and Jacob is the territory of God’s inheritance.

The Eternal found Jacob out in the wilderness,

out in an empty, windswept desert wasteland.

He put His arms around him and took care of him;

He protected him as the apple of His eye.

Just as an eagle stirs up its nest, encouraging its young to fly,

and then hovers over them in case they need help,

And spreads its wings and catches them if they fall,

and carries them up high on its wings;

So the Eternal guided Jacob through the wilderness

without the help of any foreign god.

He set him on the heights of the land

and fed him from the produce of the fields.

He even fed him honey from the rocks

and oil from flinty stones,

Butter from his cows and milk from his flocks,

fattened young lambs, rams raised in Bashan, and goats,

the finest fatty kernels of wheat, and wine from the lifeblood of grapes.

But Jeshurun—my upright ones of Israel—got fat and kicked back—

yes, you were fat and bloated and stuffed.

He abandoned the God who made him

and disdained the Rock of his salvation.

They made Him jealous by worshiping foreign gods;

they infuriated Him with their disgusting idols.

They offered sacrifices to demons that are not God;

they worshiped gods they hadn’t known,

New ones that had just appeared,

gods their ancestors had never been acquainted with.

You ignored the Rock who bore you

and forgot the God who gave birth to you.

Moses: The Eternal saw this and rejected them

because His sons and daughters had made Him so angry.

Eternal One: I won’t look at them when they pray;

I’ll just watch and see what happens to them

Because they’re a perverse generation,

children who are unfaithful.

They’ve made Me jealous by worshiping something that isn’t God,

and they’ve angered Me with their idols!

So I’ll make them jealous by favoring those who aren’t a people;

I’ll infuriate them with a godless nation.

My anger will start a fire that will burn down to the land of the dead.

It will consume the land and all its crops

and set the mountains ablaze, right down to their foundations.

I’ll pile disasters on them

and use all My arrows against them.

They’ll be emaciated by famine

and consumed by fevers and destroyed by bitter pestilence.

I’ll attack them with the fangs of wild animals

and the venom of snakes that crawl in the dust.

While the sword is killing their children outside,

they’ll be huddling in terror inside their homes.

Everyone will be destroyed: young men and women,

infants and old people with gray hair.

I thought I would smash them in pieces

until no one remembered they ever existed,

But I was afraid of how their enemies would gloat,

how their opponents would get the wrong impression and say,

“We conquered them by our own power;

the Eternal didn’t do all of this!”

Moses: They’re a nation with no sense—

they have no understanding.

If only they were wise and understood this

and realized what was going to happen to them!

How could one of their enemies pursue a thousand of them,

and two of their enemies make ten thousand of them run away,

Unless their Rock had abandoned them,

unless the Eternal had handed them over?

It’s not because their rock is anything like our Rock—

even our enemies admit this!

No, it’s because their vine is grafted from the vines of Sodom,

from the terraces of Gomorrah:

It grows poisonous grapes in bitter clusters

and makes wine that’s snake venom and deadly cobra poison.

Eternal One: Haven’t I been saving this judgment,

sealing it away in My storehouse?

Revenge is Mine. I will settle all scores!

Soon they’ll stumble because the day of disaster is almost here,

And their doom is coming quickly!

Moses: The Eternal will judge His people

and have mercy on His servants

When He sees they have no strength left

and they’re all gone, both slave and free.

Then He’ll say about Israel, “Now where are their gods,

the rocks where they took shelter,

The gods who ate the fat of their sacrifices

and drank the wine they offered?

Let them get up and help you, Israel!

Let them protect you!”

Eternal One: Now do you see that I am the One,

and there is no other God besides Me?

I have power over life and death;

I wound, and I heal;

no one can resist My power!

I’m lifting up My hand toward the sky to take an oath,

and I swear, “As I live forever,

When I sharpen My flashing sword

and use it to bring about justice,

I’ll give My enemies what they deserve

and pay back those who hate Me!

I’ll get My arrows drunk with blood,

the blood of the dead and the prisoners,

And My sword will feast on flesh,

on the heads with their uncut hair of the enemy leaders!”

Moses: You nations, celebrate with His covenant people

because He’s going to avenge the blood of His servants.

He’ll give His enemies what they deserve

and atone for His land and His people.

This was the song that Moses presented, together with Joshua (Nun’s son), while all the people were listening. After Moses had said all of these words, everything recorded in this book, to everyone in Israel, he spoke to them.

Moses: Every word I’ve said to you today will be a witness against you, so set it in your heart, remember it well, and teach it to your children, so they’ll be careful to obey every word of this law. You can’t afford to ignore even one word; your very life depends on it! It’s how you’ll be able to live a long time in the land on the other side of the Jordan that will be your territory.

The Eternal spoke to Moses on that same day.

Eternal One: Climb to the top of Mount Nebo, one of the Abarim mountains here in the land of Moab across the Jordan River from Jericho, and look at the land of Canaan, which I’m giving to the people of Israel as their property. Just as Aaron died when he climbed Mount Hor and joined his ancestors in death, you’ll die on top of the mountain you climb and join your ancestors in death. This is because you and Aaron disobeyed Me in front of all the Israelites at Meribah-kadesh in the wilderness of Zin, when you struck the rock instead of commanding it to give water. You did not honor Me, your holy God, as if you could ignore My instructions if you wanted to, in front of all the Israelites! So you can look at this land from a distance, but you can’t go into it, this land I’m giving to the Israelites.

The Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 32 (The Voice)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Thursday, july 30 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs

[dandelliongirl]

Catching up

before winter.

Greetings, blog. It's been a while again.

It’s been an autumn and a half at work. Things have gone very poorly on a lot of fronts, which has lead to a lot of drama and stressed people. I've personally been trying to distance myself from it all but haven't had too much energy to sit in front of a computer after work. I have, however, discovered a lot of new hobbies/interests, so I'm excited to update my blog/diary about them.

Summer cottage season is officially over. In August/September we got to go on a nature hike, collect heaps of mushrooms and bake a delicious pie with them. I harvested lots of lavender, rosemary, thyme and some parsley. We also picked lingonberries and I froze lots of currants from grandmum’s garden for the upcoming winter. We had an official ending to our summer house season in mid-October. My guy came over as well and we spent a cozy weekend doing yard work, appreciating nature and spending time together. My guy went on a trail run while I biked next to him, and in the evening we went to the sauna and sat at a bonfire. We also saw Venetian fireworks from across the lake.♥

So since August/September I’ve started down on a little witchy journey and even started making my own Grimoire. I’m mainly a kitchen and green witch with some wiccan beliefs but as I do belong to the lutheran church I’m not a wiccan. Regardless witchcraft has made menial tasks and tiring chores a lot more interesting and meaningful. It means I now find love and joy in cleaning and cleansing, decorating and baking. Meditating, charging things I do with intent and using "spells" as affirmations are definitely a part of the whole super trendy mindfullness thing that people who have been distanced from nature and natural wisdom pay top dollar to learn from expensive psychiatrists and life coaches. Appreciating nature at any season and being able to cook, bake and decorate with seasonal things gets me excited, gives me reasons to live through the dark months and works wonders in alleviating seasonal depression. Trusting, honoring and living by nature feels right, and learning about the practice of witchcraft has given meanings and explanations to a lot of my own behavior, such as collecting all kinds of magical knick knacks and talismans or creating my own sigils and even rituals since childhood. My respect for history and old wisdom certainly helps. Celebrating Samhain with all it's historical meanings and associations was a lot of fun and I cannot wait for Yule.

So some notable events that have happened since the end of August:

My high school reunion was a lot of fun even though not everyone could make it. Reminiscing about all the weird stuff that happened and things we put ourselves through for a piece of paper was a lot of fun. It was also good to hear how people are doing these days and see what cool adults they have all become.

Me and mum attended an outdoor movie picnic in August. We had grapes, vegetable chips, chocolate and pastries. We watched the movie Shoplifters and it was a nice warm evening with the whole area packed to the brim. It was a really sweet movie, and a fun evening I’ll remember and treasure forever!

In mid-September grandmum had her friends from her social democrat youth group come over for a reunion and me and mum helped her out with the arrangements. She was very tired but happy she got to be reunited with those people once again. Getting old is so cruel and ruthless, and for a while now grandmum has definitely been tying up loose ends and getting ready for the inevitable. It is sad but I don’t want to be selfish and hold on to her just because I don’t want to be left without her. I’ll just hold on to every day I still have her, and when the time comes it will come. My friend just lost her 90 year old grandmum and she’s now facing her first christmas without her...

Other events:

Annual city light event, an autumnal photoshoot for my project with my friend, meeting up with my ballet friends for coffee and mulled wine, playing the Jedi Outcast 2 remaster with my friend and feeling incredibly nostalgic, spending Samhain week with all my closest friends, my friend from kindergarten getting engaged (eeeekk!!! ♥ ♥ ♥), ordering a bunch of physical photos and buying a photo album for them, germinating 3 different kinds of apples and a few plum stones to plant in the next few weeks, having literal tens of kilos of apples to dry and make into delicious apple butter, cakes and pies. Hanging out with my guy’s high school bestie who has moved to our city to study psychology. I’ve also (finally) made some progress with my piano rehearsal and found a bunch of sheet music books that I’m waiting to be delivered. (The mail delivery services are on strike right before Christmas - yikes). I’ve also been trying to get into embroidery and continue knitting. I would also really like to spend more time reading even though I do listen to books weekly.

It is a very rainy week with lots of wet snow. I’ve been collecting dragonflies made with beads and reflective fabric that a local craft store has been leaving out on bikes. (Only from abandoned bikes though!) We took a big bird feeder to our summer cottage and when mum and dad went to check it out yesterday it had tons of birds flocking around it! ♥ Last night me and my guy went to the sauna at my parents' house and had nachos for father's day.

I put up the Christmas tree this past weekend and I'm planning on decorating it this week. I'm still waiting for a Sims sale so that I can get my planned build-a-bundle of city living, realm of magic and romantic garden stuff for the holiday season. Me and my guy started playing kingdom come deliverance on a free weekend and bought it on sale. We've also been playing fe3h, Untitled Goose game and Skyrim (again!) on the Switch. I would really want to play Luigi's mansion 3. Some 130 days until New Horizons.

This Friday it’s me and my guy's 9th anniversary and we're starting our 10th year together. Crazy! I'm so glad that pretty much our entire relationship is saved in these tumblr posts. We're having a lunch date for some sushi on Friday to celebrate, and possibly planning a trip for our upcoming 10th year together.

It's been a beautiful autumn full of new discoveries about myself and enjoying the company of awesome people. Because of all these awesome things in my personal life the difficulties at work cannot get to me (they sometimes do but I try to stay strong) like they did to my poor colleague who had to take sick leave.. 6 weeks until Christmas vacation, and after that I have almost 3 weeks of vacation left for the spring. Whether I travel or spend it at home with New Horizons is still up for debate.

I drafted this post at work. I have very little motivation to do any actual work so I take every quiet moment when I'm alone in our office to do other things and avoid actual work at all costs. Oop. I ordered some warm indoor shoes and a new Oysho blanket in preparation for the long winter in our freezing cold office.

[poisonedfortunecookie]

I just about managed to make it in time for day one of @shancefluffweek !! I decided to use this week to write a sorta sequel for one of my fluffier shance fics Bind me to you  since I received so many nice, encouraging comments on this fic. (You don’t need to read this fic first but it will help to understand some things I make mention of)

promt : black/blue

length: 3,254 words

summary: Lance get injured during a training session and Shiro takes care of him. 

After the wake up call that was Lance's night time confession, a confession that Shiro was never meant to hear, Shiro began watching his team more intently focused on any signs that any of them might be upset or struggling with something. He was going to make up for any previous shortcomings by not allowing anything else to slip through the cracks.

At first it wasn't anything particularly noticeable, his behaviour didn't change, he didn't treat any of the team drastically differently.

With Keith nothing really changed, Shiro kept the usual brotherly eye on the other young man but he kept his distance, doted less and gave Keith a freer rein. With Pidge he was fairer, he refused to take her side in every little squabble simply because she was Matt's sister and guilt continued to eat away at him. He became stricter with Allura stepping in whenever she pushed them, and herself, too far. He made an effort to get to know Coran better, realising he hadn't exchanged many words with the elder Altean man outside of strategic talks, he knew hardly anything about him.

Hunk was a greater challenge. Shiro wanted to make up for the time at the beginning where he'd left the other man to deal with his anxieties and fears alone. But, despite his best intentions Shiro quickly discovered that Hunk had gotten over all that fairly quickly and was probably the most stable person on the team. Shiro's fussing only made him suspicious, putting him on edge so Shiro backed off, giving Hunk his space while letting him know he was there if Hunk ever needed anything. With Hunk he was just a friend.

And then there was Lance who had triggered all this. Shiro had perhaps been favouring Lance just a little after that night, which was rather contradictory to everything he was trying to do, he knew. He watched Lance more closely, learned how to read him.

Shiro learned how to tell when Lance wanted to talk about something but there were just too many people around for him to share his feelings. Shiro became quite adept at steering Lance into a quiet part of the castle and making it look like a coincidence that only the two of them were there. And Lance opened up, was more willing to talk about what bothered him when it was just the two of them. He learned to not be so frustrated with Lance’s fooling around and his bad jokes, realising they were usually well timed to dispel any tension or anxiety. The pick me up they all needed.

He scolded Lance less. Letting him off for minor infringements, giving him more leeway that Lance never took too far.

He learned that Lance was a good strategist, even better than he had originally given him credit for. Shiro put more faith in Lance's judgement, showed clearly how much he trusted the other man and Shiro saw just how much Lance thrived knowing he had that trust.

And Shiro also learned how to tell when Lance was hiding an injury.

“End training sequence!” Shiro called authoritatively his voice booming around the training room just as Lance was about to make a swipe at the training droid's legs.

“What gives Shiro I almost had him!” Lance demanded his tone highly offended, even the others were looking at Shiro questioningly frozen in place mid movement as if they were playing a game of musical statues.

Lance hadn't looked like he was in any trouble. In fact he had been handling the droid just fine and had been about to deliver a deciding blow, the others ready to back him up. But they hadn't seen what Shiro saw.

Lance was favouring his right leg putting as little eight on his left leg as possible. He didn't use his left leg to attack, kept it behind him as much as possible and away from the line of fire. There was the faintest hint of a limp when he moved and a wince of pain that only showed in the corners of his eyes. Lance was hurt.

They had been training for a while now but Shiro remembered a particularly brutal attack that had sent Lance flying halfway across the room. He'd landed hard but had jumped up instantly all smiled and laughed brushing off Hunk's concern, who had been closest and the first to rush over to him. Lance had carried on fighting as if nothing were wrong.

“You've hurt your leg, haven't you,” Shiro said matter of factly, his words more a statement than a question.

“No, of course not. I'm fine!” Lance huffed evasively. Avoiding looking directly at Shiro, at anyone. He was clearly lying.

“You're hurt? Why didn't you say anything?” Hunk bustled closer all soft concern. Even Pidge and  Keith drew closer looking at him worried but not sure what to do they hovered at a slight distance. Lance flushed a deep, earthy red. This was exactly why he hadn't said anything.

“I'm fine really. Just a little sore that's all. It's not like I broke a leg!” He yelled indignantly trying to shoo them away. He ducked under Hunk's arms, who was reaching for him as if he planned to pick him up, and took a few steps to the side trying to put more distance between himself and the others all the while avoiding their worried eyes. He hated when attention like that was focused on him.

“You may not have broken anything but there could be some muscle damage. You should rest for today so you don't aggravate it.” Shiro said seriously.

“Oh come on!” Lance spluttered.

“It doesn't even hurt any more, probably hasn't even bruised.” He added his words a plea, begging Shiro to just drop it.

“Hope up and down on one leg,” Shiro ordered.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

With a put out groan of frustration Lance did as he was told hopping up and down on his right leg.

“Happy?” He huffed.

“The other leg,” Shiro smirked watching the way Lance's expression fell, the struggle that flashed across his features as he stood on both feet for a moment not moving, hesitating before finally lifting his right foot.

He barely got his foot a couple of inches off the floor before a wince and a gasp of pain sent him tumbling forward. Shiro, expecting the sudden fall, caught him with ease holding him against his chest.

“Not hurt huh?” He quirked an eyebrow at the you man his hands holding onto Lance's shoulders firmly to steady him.

“Ok maybe a little hurt,” Lance conceded pain still shooting through his thigh.

“Then you're done for today,” Shiro announced his tone final. His grip shifted from Lance's shoulders to his waist lifting him and tossing the slender man over his shoulder before Lance could even make a squawk of protest.

“Shiro seriously! I can walk!”

“You need to rest your leg as much as possible. I'll carry you back to your room. You three carry on with today's session,” he called to the other paladins, ignoring Lance's futile struggles.

Keith shot Shiro a withering look as Shiro left. Hunk looked torn between listening tot heir leader and helping his struggling friend. Pidge made no effort to hide her laughter.

“This is humiliating,” Lance groaned slumped over Shiro's shoulder giving up on struggling. There was no use, and he had to admit he was rather enjoying the view. It was be so easy to just let his hands brush over Shiro's tight, firm ass and make is seem like an accident.

“So is this how you carried me after that bomb went off?” Lance asked curiously his gazed fixed on Shiro's backside admiring the way his thigh muscles and glutes moved with every step. Lance was never more grateful that the paladin suits didn't have armour over their ass than in this moment.

“Yeah,” Shiro's step faltered for a moment his grip on Lance tightening protectively before carrying on as if nothing had happened. Lance silently cursed himself for bringing up something that was probably a bad memory for Shiro. Lance had been unconscious for most of that incident, it was easy for him to just blurt something out, but Shiro had fought through it, been captured by Sendak because of Lance.

“Do I even weight anything to you?” He asked abruptly changing the subject. He felt Shiro's grip slacked a tremor going through his shoulder's that felt like a laugh.

“Hmm, more than a couple of grapes at least,” Shiro mused shifting his shoulder making Lance's body jump easily, as if he weighed nothing.

“Maybe a bag of apples?” Lance could hear the sly grin in Shiro's voice.

“Ugh!” Lance groaned indignantly as he flopped down again. Swinging his arms he 'accidentally' slapped his hands across Shiro's ass. No way was he going to let the opportunity pass him by. He took a small amount of pleasure in the firm feeling of Shiro's ass, and the way the other man jumped with a skip in his step.

Neither of them said anything but Lance was grinning like a fool.

The journey to his room was disappointingly short. Once in the room Shiro set Lance carefully down on the bed holding Lance in his arms bridal style for a second that Lance wished could have lasted forever.

“I'm going to go to the med bay to get something for your leg. Get changed out of that armour, but don't bother putting any pants on you're going to give me a proper look at that leg,” Shiro instructed, ordering Lance to go without pants without batting an eyelid.

“Excuse me!? At least buy me dinner first!” Lance spluttered his face going a shade of red that would make Keith's lion jealous.

“Would you rather I bundle you into a healing pod for the rest of the day? You'll have to wear one of those medical suits,” Shiro threatened with a warm smile.

Lance groaned flopping down on the bed in defeat. This was not how he'd ever imagined getting Shiro in his room, with Lance not wearing any pants would go.

“I hate you,” he scowled at the dark canopy of the bed nook. Shiro left the room with a pleased chuckle.

Lance lay there for a moment unmoving knowing he should get changed before Shiro came back but he just couldn't find the energy in himself to do it. His heart was still pounding the pain in his leg thrumming along in time with it. He could still feel Shiro's hands on his waist, feel the strength of his shoulder, and the feeling of Shiro's body against him.

Shiro was far more attentive lately. Lance wasn’t a fool he’d noticed, they all had.. Pidge was still bitter she couldn’t get away with as much as she used to, but none of them could figure out Shiro’s sudden change in mood. There had been no too close for comfort calls, no cause for panic or alarm other than the usual day to day stuff that cam with being a paladin of Voltron fighting against the Galra.

But now was not the time to ponder such things. Pushing himself up with a small wince Lance carefully shed his armour setting it to one side in the corner of his room where it would be out of the way.

Peeling off the skin-tight flight suit proved a little more difficult with pain thrumming through his whole body. Although his leg hurt the most his whole body ached from the blow, he'd fallen pretty hard, twisting his body this way and that to pull off the suit only aggravated things.

Dropping the flight suit on top of the pile of armour Lance grabbed his blue robe and wrapped it around himself securing it snugly. He paused for a moment at the pants, considering what Shiro might do if he came back and Lance was wearing them. No, as tempting as that situation was Lance just wasn't ready for that. Besides it wasn't as if there would be any meaning behind it.

Sighing to himself Lance pushed that sad little thought firmly to the back of his mind. Now was not the time to be distracted by his crush on Shiro.

As if on cue there was a knock on the door, Shiro giving Lance only the briefest of warnings, letting himself in without waiting for an answer.

“I could have been naked you know,” Lance sulked glaring at Shiro who smiled innocently.

“But you're not naked, now let me see that leg.”

Grumbling lame insults under his breath Lance moved over to the bed and sat down, making himself comfortable before hoisting up the hem of his robe to show off a beautifully bruised thigh. He hadn't taken a proper look at it while getting changed but now Lance couldn't help but wince at the sight his bravado slipping. Seeing the bruise seemed to make it ache even more.

The bruise spread over almost the entirety of the outside of his thigh from knee to hip. A mottled, blotchy mess of black and blue melding into purple here and there.

“It looks worse than it is,” he shot quickly seeing the stern line of Shiro's mouth.

“Hmm,” Shiro hummed non-committal. He was not convinced but he would neglect the lecture for now. Treating Lance came first. He approached the young man with the Altean medicine, sitting down on the bed next to him.

“Do you know what you’re doing with that?” Lance asked eyeing the pack Shiro was ripping open warily.

“Coran gave it to me. It's supposed to help with bruising and ease muscle pain,” as he pulled a small pad from the wrapper an unfolded it. It looked a lot like those adhesive heat pads back on Earth. Well at least it looked relatively normal even if it was bright blue and pulsing with a faint glow.  

“I don't think this is going to be big enough,” Shiro scowled at the pad as if it were at fault. Turning it around in his hands he looked at Lance's leg and back tot he pad trying to calculate just how much of the ugly bruise it would cover.

“It's fine. I'll just put it over the worst part that should be god enough.” Lance reached for the pad only to have it snatched out of his reach.

“Hold your robe out of the way, I’ll put it on,” Shiro said calmly.

Lance stared at him mouth agape, words failing him. He wanted to refuse of course but he couldn't think of a reason to refuse Shiro's help without seeing like a blushing virgin, which was just as embarrassing. Shiro was only trying to help and now he was staring at Lance expectantly, waiting, clearly not seeing what the problem was.

It made sense really for Shiro to put the pad on his leg and Lance to hold the robe out the way, it would be too awkward for one person to do both.

“Lance? Is something wrong?” Shiro asked still looking at him with the same innocent, clueless expression.

Right Lance, there was nothing strange about this situation, nothing suggestive, just his long time crush sitting on the bed next to him on the bed while he was half dressed.

“Nothing, just hurry up!” Lance snapped hoisting the rob higher the line of his underwear around his thigh now visible.

Shiro leaned forward eyes drawn to the line of Lance's underwear peeking out from under the robe. He realised suddenly just how intimate the whole situation was, how close they were, the fact that Lance was only half dressed in his pajamas.  Ah, that would explain his behaviour. He felt his cheek heat up and kept his gaze firmly fixed on the large, mottled bruise.

Lance was equally as flustered leaning away slightly partly to give Shiro better access to his leg, partly so he could duck his head away and hide his own blush.

Shiro pressed a corner of the pad to Lance's leg, strong fingers firm yet gentle ensuring the pad stuck to his skin. At the first touch Lance hissed and flinched away. Shiro paused.

“Sorry,” Shiro said voice low and apologetic.

“It's fine, just a twinge,” Lance said bravely moving back.

“I should have noticed sooner,” Shiro growled blaming himself.

“Hey I'm fine. Really,” Lance said quickly leaning closer forgetting his embarrassment.

“It's my fault for not saying anything, and it's just a bruise. I'm ok so just carry on sticking that blue thing on me,” he smiled encouragingly his shoulder pressing against Shiro's gently.

“It's my responsibility as leader to notice these things,” Shiro answered stubbornly, still placing the blame on his shoulders.

“Shiro….” Lance sighed, leaning more heavily against the other man's shoulder.

“Ok deal, from now on I'll tell you if I so much as break a nail ok? So we'll chalk this up as a learning experience for both of us and move on,” he coaxed nudging Shiro with his elbow.  

Shiro smiled at that, biting back a chuckle.

“Ok deal.  But first let me finish putting this thing on your leg.”

“Right,” Lance's smile faltered noticing how close he'd moved to Shiro. Their eyes met in a moment that shot a spark through both of them. Lance's blush returned full force. He moved quickly twisting his body away lifting his legs slightly to let Shiro finish placing the pad.

Shiro's head dropped back to Lance's leg, focused on the bruise. He carefully, and as lightly as he could pressed his palms against the pad smoothing it down the length of Lance's thigh, as much as it would cover. When the pad was in place he traced his finger tips around the edges before finally smoothing the corners out flesh and metal fingers ghosting over Lance's skin sending shivers through the young man's body.

The moment Shiro's hands moved away Lance yanked the hem of his robe down.

“All done,” Shiro said his gaze still lowered.

“So what does the doctor order now?” Lance asked quickly, aiming for carefree cheer. He hoped that his voice didn't crack too badly.

“Bed rest for the rest of the evening and a check up tomorrow morning,” Shiro chuckled lifting his gaze to meet Lance.

“Can I at least walk to dinner on my own or are you going to carry me again?” Lance bit back smartly, smiling, the tension leaving him.

“Well I suppose as long as you stay in bed until then I can let you walk.” Shiro hummed thoughtfully.

“I guess that means you're going to have to stay here with me till dinner then, you know to make sure I get the proper bed rest.” Lance said deviously.

Shiro stared for a moment, then looked away almost bashfully. For a moment Lance was sure he'd refuse but then Shiro smiled.

“I suppose you do have a point,” he agreed shifting a little to give Lance more room.

“Now bed rest doesn't mean I have to go to sleep right?” Lance grinned pulling his legs up onto the bed.

“I guess as long as you lie and don't move about unnecessarily, you don't have to sleep.”

“Good. Now then we're just gong to have find a way to pass the time,” Lance grinned his eye sparkling.

They talked, nothing more. They ended up late to dinner, not noticing the time passing.

[originalkittensublime]

A boy with grapes

27.6.19. NOT EDITED

2011 

All started later. You are one of a kind. bohuzel, bohudik.  Could be the end of the story, hah?))  But of course its not... there is way way more to tell then i will. maybe once i will, when i will learn how to write.  Mix,vodka,songs,podyezd,cigarettes,pizza,apple&honey,you,yourguitar,gone...you,kiss,fuckingkiss,support,tears,high,forest,pinetrees,dirtysweater,gone...you,desire,youhave5minutes,boryspil,wow,what was that, gone...sharing,fun,sweet,you,morning,boom,wife?what,ok,confusion,gone,gone,gone..... Im in Kiev, you know nothing about it, I'm waiting for the bus which will never come, i turn my head to the left...T.P. I wish I could describe my feelings at that 5 seconds. I cant, of course I cant. It was you. Weird. We had few cigarettes and you, as usually gave me a piece of your music. Dakha Brakha -Monah. This song is yours forewer. Just as many many more. If usually i have connected to one person 1 or 2 songs, to you I have connected the whole eternity of songs. You, always as someone "unknown" but warm at heart. 

I've realised, I always say that for me is importaint to see whats behind the wall, to touch the soul. That's what I do. BUT! I've touched your soul, but i was never behind the wall.... long confused pause...You keep teaching me, bastard) I didn't know it's possible. You are leavingme with so many questions, and I love and hate it. 

Let me be cheesy. I think our meeting on the bus stop... meant to be.) 2019 blew my mind. I always felt nervous around T. I felt myself but not enough so i could just relax. Silly) Im growing... I see how Im changug byour meetings. Coz they are so rare. Maybe coz its you.  Sunset. Happy to see you, last seconds to buy beer, banka,  moon, time which flies by, a dog in the window.  I want to remember every detail with you.

Thext time we've spent around 10 hrs togather. I fell in love. Yeah, thanx a lot.(sarcasm) And really, thank you!! (pure and honest). I will not explain what the hell we did that night coz it would make any sence. What da hell you were doing its the whole another qustion, and i wish i knew. I just hope I wan't another "debt to yourself". You are giving me... and I'm so not used to "taking mode". I need to give also, thats what makes me happy. Another thing you are teaching me. And im learning. Beliveing in myslef. another thing. And in so many different ways. Believing in what i do, believeing in who I am. Support and care from your side, I cant understand where you taking it? You are just hitting strikes to my weakest points. Why... a lot of whys))  I also learning how not to ask all those question and just believe to everything what happend.  When it's heating heart with a strike... it's hard, coz I've never learned how to believe that saying "goodbye" is not forever. Maybe you will be the one who will also teach me this. If yes... fuck ...  you were touching my soul and I was touching yours. But we don't know each other. (Just deleted another doubt) I'm learnign fast, dont i?))  When after THAT night you've disapeared for 3 days. Were online all the time, but never read my messages. It hurted as fuck. seriously, alot. Then I've decided to change it. and i did. You have no idea. the whole world just turned around inside. Im still going there, but the first huge step was made. I think its even more then half way.  This all doesnt change a fact that i wanna know you. I wanna know your dark side. I wanna know everything about you. Too much? maybe. I wanna be there for you. Coz you gave me more then you think. Why me, i try not to ask myslef.  If I will not see you anymore, I will be still happy, but if i will, i will try to let you know that you can open up to me. Coz you didnt, not as you wanted to.  This time I've touched your hands. You thnought I'm a child, but you know it was more then just touching hands. It was weird for you, but i think you realised it as well. MAybe later.  Or maybe it was just a regular weeked for you. Fuck, i have no idea))  I have no idea about your life and its horribe. I'm not used to this. ANd first time in my life, I dont have a clear prof from your side, but i've gave all of me to you. all that i could.  I'm affraid that next time, I'll record the entire time I'll be with you. It's creepy. But not so much if you don;t know about it, right?)  But the one and only truth is, that people like you they are too rare. That is why they are too precious. Everything will end one day, but the important thing is aftertaste. In the end, it's all we got.  we were walking for so long... till the sunset. Just like with A.S. The whole situation reminded me that story. Just a few night which ended by sunrise. He died, I hope you will not. That wouldnt be fun... "was it all true" "yes,yes" 

[kysaito]

Happy Three Years!

November 3, 2018

Dear Karis,

Happy 3rd birthday! 

(As usual, this post is coming a little late.)

This year, we celebrated your birthday at least 6 times. :)

The first was at Griffith Park with Uncle Kenny, Rosa, Auntie Alice, and Grandma Fely. We had a picnic, then went on the carousel, then on the train, then you rode on a pony! (A kid in front of us was scared to leave his mommy to go on the pony, but you let go of my hand and walked straight into the ring without a glance back – you were so excited!)

Then on your actual birthday we did everything just as you planned it (yes, you were very specific about what you wanted). Here’s a version of what you would say to me leading up to your birthday:

“I want to be Cinderella, and Mama will be Pocahontas, and Auntie Lyssa will be Jasmine, and Grandma Fely can be Snow White, and Dada can be the Prince. And all the kids will sing, ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Karis, happy birthday to you,’ like that, and then I’ll blow out my candles.”

You also mentioned wanting to go to Kid Space, and the day before your birthday, we went to eat dinner and played at a nearby arcade afterward, so you added a visit to the arcade to your birthday list, as well. And guess what… we did all that (and more!)

You and I went to IHOP for breakfast (we ordered the cupcake pancake combo), then I took you to preschool all dressed up in your Cinderella gown, glass slippers and all, then Grandma Jo brought strawberry cupcakes to school that she and Uncle B made (as you requested). You looked so happy and elegant, sitting there in the middle of the room at the table with the princess tablecloth, your friends sitting with you beaming excitedly – proud to be sitting at the same table as the birthday princess. After everyone sang happy birthday to you, you blew out your candles, then we packed up and went to Kidspace, then to dinner, then to the arcade, then back to our place – and you wore your Cinderella dress and crown proudly the whole time. At home, we had more cupcakes, then opened presents – so many princess presents!

You make me so proud, little Bear. I even made an Instagram post:

HBD, sweet Karis girl. You bring healing and light wherever you go and have made me braver, stronger, kinder, and just better. :) And you’ve helped me believe that tutus really can go with everything. Love you forever.

I love how brave and free you are. You seemed a little nervous as we were walking toward the classroom and I did start to worry that someone would say or do something to make you feel silly and want to change, or that maybe the teachers would have you change because your dress was too poofy to do activities or sleep during nap time. But when we returned at the end of the day for cupcake time, and I saw you sitting there surrounded by your friends, still in your dress, crown, and slippers, smiling proudly – I realized I didn’t need to worry about you at all. Aside from how beautiful you looked, what made me so proud was that I knew you feltbeautiful, and you weren’t letting self-consciousness or fear of what others might think keep you from soaking it all in.

One little girl even came up to me and told me she liked your dress, and a little boy came up to Grandma Jo and said he wanted to play with you, but that “Veda wouldn’t let me.” (Veda is your preschool BFF.)

We also celebrated with our small group and with Grandpa and Estella! And Kyrie and Auntie Danes took you out for a movie and ice cream, too. :) 

So let’s have a talk…about everything that happened since I last wrote! 

(You love starting conversations like that – “Let’s have a talk, Mama” – as you pat the seat beside you.)

You started preschool!

The biggest thing is probably that you started preschool! You go to the Enchanted Castle at Pasadena Montessori (sounds like a mouthful, but one day before we even intentionally taught you the name of your new school, you said, “Am I going to Pasadena Montessori today?”)

Caption: Your first day of preschool.

We were a little nervous about how you’d handle the transition from Judy’s to preschool, but you did so well! You jumped right in there and didn’t even look back (or shed a single tear!) Sometimes you’ll bring it up (“Remember how when I was a little girl, I used to go to Judy’s?”), but when I ask if you want to go back you say no because you’re “a big girl now.” The teachers tell us that everyone is falling in love with you and that you’re a happy little chatterbox. JYou come home telling us about playing with Veda, and the “jobs” you do (that’s what they call the assignments you work on), and how you took a numbers test… by the way, here’s one of the first numbers tests you brought home… 100%!

You’re a ballerina!

You also started ballet classes! You seem to love it – you are able to follow the routines the teacher shows you, and we can really see the concentration and determination in your eyes! You also practice your moves outside of class... click here and here to view your little airport ballet performances. :)

You are a happy, silly, funny, bold, generous, thoughtful, loving, insightful, artistic, beautiful little girl. 

I could go on but those words are ones I have pictures and stories I want to share about with you.

Happy, silly, funny. Those are actually your words. I was telling you one night about all the wonderful things you are, and you jumped in and finished my sentence with, “and happy… and silly… and funny…” I love that you use those words to describe yourself.

Bold. You’ve stepped up and gone to the front of the room when volunteers were asked for, even though we could tell you were feeling a little shy about it – from holding medium-sized snakes to being the magician’s assistant, and a few other things in between.

Generous. Mommy and Daddy went to Tijuana, Mexico in June to help build a house. When we came back and I was showing you pictures (Click here to see!) and telling you all about it, you kept saying (and still bring up at times) that you want to go to Mexico and build a house with us. And when I showed you a photo of the family, the first thing you said was, “How come the kids don’t have any shoes?” I explained that they didn’t have a lot of money, and you said, “I can give them my sparkle shoes.” And a few days ago, you caught a bag of toys that I had packed up to give away. It seemed that you were going to get upset (“Hey, that’s my elephant! That’s my Minnie toy!”), but then we sat down and I told you about how we were giving the toys away to kids who didn’t have any toys to play with… and you let it all go (and even brought up how you could give them your sparkle shoes, again).

Thoughtful. When an ambulance goes by or we see an accident on the road, you’ll ask what happened, and then pray. You also say the sweetest prayers at mealtime and bedtime. They’re usually something like, “Dear Jesus, thank you for… Help Mommy and Daddy to feel better… dear Jesus, amen.” More recently, your prayers for Mommy and Daddy have been replaced with, “Help Maggie to not eat grapes or pomegranates.” A few weeks ago, Grandma Fely hadn’t been doing too well because of her toothache. It had been a few days since we’d seen her, and I had forgotten all about it, but at dinnertime, out of nowhere you asked how Grandma Fely’s tooth was and wanted to call her. It made her day.

Loving. Daddy was sharing in front of the whole church last weekend, and you were sitting with me in the back. I was holding you up so you could see him, when you turned to me and said you wanted to go see him, so I put you down and said, “Okay, go ahead!” Then you ran all the way to the front and he picked you up and held you while he shared. Later, he asked why you came up to the front and you said, “because I love you.”

Insightful. Daddy and I were fighting one time and then daddy left. I found you sitting quietly in your room and when I apologized for the fighting, you responded ever so gently, “was it your fault?” while tapping my nose with your finger. That’s just one example of many when you’ve helped one of us re-center by gently speaking truth into us.

Artistic. I’m not sure this is the best word. But I feel like you’re a craftsman, for sure. You love drawing, painting, and tracing. You’re very precise and your drawings actually look like what you say they are!

Beautiful. We get told this all the time about you by strangers and friends alike, but you carry a unique beauty that I believe comes from the Holy Spirit’s presence on you. If there are kids around who you don’t know, you’ll want to befriend them. With the younger ones you do know, you like to take their hands and guide them. We want to the beach to watch Uncle Corey and Auntie Dana get baptized, and though we barely said anything to you about what was going on (just talked about it around you), you said to me at dinner later, in an almost distressed voice, “Mama, I didn’t get baptized!” (You actually said, “I didn’t get washtide” first and I had no idea what you were saying. I tried brushing it off – “oh don’t worry, we can get it another time,” but you were persistent in reiterating what you wanted until I understood.) You have a tender heart that makes your eyes sparkle.

You continue to make your way around the world.

You’ve been to Prague, Hawaii, Napa, San Francisco, San Diego, Big Bear, Ventura/Oxnard, and this year, Las Vegas, NV, Arizona, and North Carolina! 

(Las Vegas, NV) The “diamonds” at the Cosmopolitan, sun bathing and shark tank at the Golden Nugget. 

(Slide Rock, AZ) Sorry, not the best pic of you but I wanted you to see the rock slides! Your Daddy and I both went down -- very slippery and very cold!

Apple picking in North Carolina with Julia and Dennis!

Driving along Blue Ridge Parkway 

Your first East Coast College Tour -- to Duke and UNC (you slept through most of Duke).

Moravian Falls, in the presence of angels

Fearrington Farm

We just celebrated Halloween together as the Disney royals (per your request)

Things I’ve been learning…

Your dad cherishes me… and I could do a better job of cherishing him. Cherishing is love that goes out of its way to honor, protect, showcase, encourage, and bring out the best. If I want to see someone change for the better, I should make the effort to intentionally cherish them. This means affirming them in how far they’ve come rather than pointing out how far they have to go, it means conquering contempt and the temptation to critique by protecting them and practicing thankfulness. Cherishing can bring healing and bring out the best in someone – where criticizing never will. Cherishing is a choice. (This is all from Cherish by Gary Thomas.)

Take care of the little ruptures. Sometimes when I’m upset with someone, I struggle with whether to say something or not. But if I don’t say it and can’t let it go, then I start building up resentment… and then love for that person starts to fade. “Love doesn’t magically disappear, but it can slip away if you’re not choosing to fight for it over and over” (228). “There were 1,000 little ruptures that never got repaired” (227). (This is from I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me, John Ortberg.) If the person matters to you, even if it’s uncomfortable or you just don’t feel like it, it’s worth it to take the time to address the little ruptures.

Be willing to interrupt what you’re doing, even if it’s inconvenient, to put the things that matter most first! There are so many times I’m faced with decisions and I’m not sure what to do, or I don’t even think and just choose based on what’s most convenient in the moment! I find that I often pick the thing that makes me look better to others – even if it means sacrificing my health, time with you, time with God, or compromising how I treat Daddy. Those are the very things that give me strength and joy. Without them, I get run-down and defeated. But with them, I am strong, content, and at peace. When you find your everyday decisions pulling you away from the things that ultimately matter most to you, stop, and force yourself to choose those things first.

Shake the dust off your feet… there’s just no pleasing them all. This keeps coming up again and again for me, and I have a feeling it will for you, too – simply because you’re my daughter. And also (this is a secret from 3-year-old you) but you’re already exhibiting signs of possibly being an achievement-oriented perfectionist (sorry). You can do your best and someone will think you’re not good enough. You can have pure intentions and someone will be offended by you. You can be nice and someone will think you have a secret agenda. You can try over and over to make things right with people, to make them see what you intended, to make them own your version of the truth… but you will lose lots of sleep, harbor too much anger and hurt, and you will always feel very, very tired. Oh, and it still won’t be enough. So again, focus on what’s true and unwavering and the people who matter most. Be willing to fight for those things. But beyond that… “shake the dust off your feet” and move on. Leave the rest to God’s judgement. (Matthew 10:14-15).

I love you so much my sweet precious Karis girl.

P.S. Other fun photos from these past few months...

Obon, July 2018

Kidspace (You insisted on sitting in the back while someone drove you, and refused to accept that I wasn’t going to fit in the driver’s seat... then this little boy drove up and offered to take you for a ride. The Kidspace employee commented, “she was made to be chauffeured.”)

Showing up in style for a drizzly day at Kidspace (you picked your outfit)

Tanaka Farms with Cam

Goofballs.

Doing the Worm at the family reunion/Cousins’ 50th in Vegas.

[benjamingarden]

Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021

  The new year has finally arrived!  I'm not sure what grocery shopping looks like in your neck of the woods now that there's yet another rise in COVID cases, but it's actually not too bad in ours.  For the most part you can select curbside pick-up or delivery if you desire.  And lately I desire.

The photo above and info below outline our monthly grocery shopping.  We will need  a few additional items: milk comes from our farmers market as does coffee for Jay (probably another $20.00 total for the month), and I may get some fresh greens in another 1-2 weeks (less then $10.00).

Our groceries for January came from BJ's and Healthy Living, a local health food store.  Typically we would also do a Hannaford order or a trip to the commissary, however, we are really well stocked on pantry and freezer items.  You'll notice there is no meat purchased.  Our freezers are fairly well stocked and we will actually be bartering with a farmer friend - our products for some of his chicken and pork, this weekend.  We are finally (FINALLY) getting eggs from the Coop Girls, and as you know, we put up a lot of veggies in the freezer from the summer garden.

I don't plan on returning to Healthy Living until March so I stocked up with that in mind.  We will probably place another BJ's order mid February-ish.

The total spent for January is anticipated to be $439.41 or just over $100.00/week.

 $269.41 (groceries already purchased) + $140.00 (bartered meat) + $30.00 (coffee, milk & greens anticipated to purchase throughout the month) = $439.41.  Our January purchases are partly for January and partly for the months to come.

Healthy Living - $174.84 (almost half of this amount is from 2 items....the dandy blend and the goji berries)

BJ's - $94.57

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Our Groceries:

Healthy Living:

The Dandy Blend Herbal Coffee Alternative is AMAZINGLY good.  I absolutely love it for iced or hot "coffee".  It's kind of expensive and a bit of a splurge.  I purchased 2 bags which will last me through April or so.  The 14 oz bags cost $22.49 each.  I've looked on Amazon and they sell a slightly smaller (11 oz) bag for around the same price so this seems to be the best deal.

The Goji Berries are added to a trail mix (we already have the other ingredients on hand) for Jay that he eats daily.  Macular degeneration runs in his family and goji berries have been shown to help prevent this.  Plus they are high in antioxidants so we decided it was worth it regardless of whether or not it works to prevent M.D..  These bags are 8 ounces and $12.49 each.  I should have bought them at Amazon because I'm pretty sure I could have gotten them cheaper.  I'll research it and purchase them there going forward if it makes sense to do so.  The 2 bags should last him just about 2 months.

I know there are cheaper dairy alternatives then Oatly ($4.99/carton) but I really love Oatly.  I prefer the lowfat version but they were out of everything except for these 4 cartons. 

We bought 12 pounds of mixed yukon & red potatoes ($1.99/lb) and 5 pounds of sweet potatoes (I splurged and bought my FAVORITE Japanese Sweet Potatoes at $2.99/lb - I call them "cake sweet potatoes" because they are soooo sweet).  Oliver and I are on the last of the sweet potatoes that we harvested and stored in the fall.  I can't believe they are almost gone!!!  We go through a moderate amount of potatoes and only purchase them organic, and the absolute best ones we've found are at Healthy Living.  This is easily a 2 month supply of each.

I have a few apples and mandarin oranges left for fruit but Jay prefers grapes so I bought a bag of grapes ($2.99/lb) and I treated myself to a couple of grapefruit ($1.49/lb).  I typically try to only buy fruit that is $1.99 or less per pound (exception being the frozen berries & cherries), but that definitely didn't happen this month.

Que Pasa is our new favorite brand of tortilla chips.  They are organic, non-GMO, and reduced sodium.  We very rarely have chips but when we do it's tortilla for the win.  They were on sale (although I'm wondering if this is a permanent sale because they were on the same sale a few months ago when I last bought them...) at $2.99/bag.

I usually make my own bread and tortillas but I like to have a bit of each in the freezer just in case.  I've used up my freezer stash of both so I purchased a loaf of Dave's bread and a pack of limited ingredient corn tortillas and whole wheat flour tortillas for the freezer. 

BJ's:

Not shown in the photo, we also bought a bag of frozen organic sweet cherries and a bag of frozen organic blueberries (3 lb bags for $13.99/ea.).  We have 2 bags of each in the freezer already.  We each eat a 1/2 cup of a mix of the two every single day so we should be good for a couple months.  I also bought Kiwi (3 lbs for $6.49) as yet another splurge because we haven't had them in forever and one bunch of organic bananas (2 lbs for $1.59).  We've found that our very favorite bananas are organic Chiquita.  They seem to be the creamiest.  I have no idea why, but the non-organic Chiquita's and other brands organic and non-organic just aren't the same.  Strange....

I keep riced cauliflower on hand in the freezer because it's one of the cheapest ways to buy cauliflower off season.  (I roast it from frozen in the oven to use as a veggie side)  I wanted to make some buffalo cauliflower though for veggie tacos, and I need pieces instead of having it riced so I bought a bag (2 lbs for $4.29).  Jay likes cooked cauliflower with cheese sauce so he'll have that as a side a few times too. 

We eat a lot of mushrooms and BJ's seems to have the best price on them so I bought 2 which will get us through a few weeks.  (24 oz containers for $4.99/ea.)

Pom Juice was a special request by the husband.  We don't usually buy juice but he requested it last month for the first time in a long time and has been enjoying it.  (48oz bottle $8.99)  I'm running low on frozen peas and frozen corn and BJ's carries the organic at a reasonable cost (each is 4 lbs for $6.99) so I stocked up.  I'm low on carrots too and their price isn't bad (5 lbs organic for $3.99).  Also not shown is a 3-pack of frozen pizza.  We keep a couple vegan frozen pizzas and a couple meat/cheese frozen pizzas on hand all of the time for the days we need something quick.  We still have 2 of the vegan so we just stocked up on the meat version (3 pack DiGiornio $13.99).

January's Meal Plan

My goal was to start posting our meal plans again, per request from many of you, but to also add photos of some of the meals this time around.  Unfortunately, I have yet to get in the habit of photographing dinner before it's served.  I hope to add this to the posts as I remember.

A Note About Our Meal Plans

I create monthly meal plans because it's what I've found to be easiest for me.  There may be some change but usually not much.  Changing works because I rotate the same 30+ meals so we would use the ingredients at some point over the next 30-45 days.  If we have perishables that need to be used up then that becomes priority and I may make changes to avoid food waste.

I usually make 2 separate meals - Jay and I eat completely different at this point.  He used to be willing to eat what I eat as his side but not so much anymore.  He's not a fan of whole grains and can only tolerate one type of veggie per meal.  So.....you can see that I tend to eat the same thing multiple nights because it's easy and I don't mind at all.  Where there's only one meal noted, I make a meat & cheese version for him and a vegan version for me.  Where there's no veggie side noted for him I use whatever I've got that needs using up or I select a frozen veggie.

You will notice that for Jays meals there are a few noticeable rotations.  

In general, chicken meals are Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Pork is Tuesdays.  And Beef is Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.  This is in part due to the fact that he tells me it's illegal to serve chicken 2 days in a row.  (insert eye roll)  

Also, other then the occasional new recipe that I try, his meals rotate about every month and a half (a different rotation will show up for summer).  

Our Sundays rotate around the same 5 meals (Tamales, Tacos, Homemade Pizza, Pot Roast, and Meatballs) because it's our farmers market day which means I want something super simple to make.  I do not make the tamales, we love those by Tucson Tamale (not an affiliate link).  Around us we can find a small variety at Healthy Living.  Tucson Tamale offers meat, vegetarian, and vegan varieties and they are sooooo delicious.  They do use oil in all of their tamales so if you are completely oil-free this is unfortunately not an option for you.

Recipe Links:

If I have posted the recipe or use a recipe posted by someone else this month then I will link to it below.  If there's a meal you'd like to see the recipe for let me know!

Quick & Easy Chicken Parm

Homemade Pizza - this is the pizza dough recipe we use

Creamy Cajun Chicken Pasta (Budget Bytes)

Apple & Stuffing Stuffed Pork Chops (Betty Crocker)

Oven-Baked BBQ Pork Ribs

Hamburger Potato Casserole (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen)

Chicken Pot Pie Muffins (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen) *I used this as a guide - I use my pie crust recipe and my pot pie recipe and bake it as muffins as shown in the vlog)

Honey Mustard Chicken (Bowl Of Delicious)

Bourbon Dijon Ham Steak (Martha Stewart - is delicious without the bourbon as well)

Mac & Cheese

Easy Weeknight Chicken Cordon Bleu

Scallops Gratin (Food Network - Ina Garten) - I use this recipe without the alcohol

Slow-Cooker Mississippi Pot Roast

Veggie Stew with Black Pepper Biscuits (vegan) (Vegan Richa)

Split Pea Soup (Vegan) (Simple Veganista)

What about you?  Do you have favorite meals that you rotate?  Do you have to cook multiple meals for different eaters?

Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[enjoyyoursundays]

With the whole “new year, new me,” business that comes along with the new year, I thought I would throw some ideas your way and give you a little peak into my everyday healthy eating tips! I know eating healthy can be expensive but I feel like knowing when to splurge on certain things and also knowing when to loosen the reigns with yourself are vital to success in the kitchen.

When I tend to cook, I always end up cooking something healthy. Even if its pasta, I’ll throw a veggie in the sauce or have veggie/whole grain pasta. It’s the smallest changes that make the biggest difference. There are certain things that I don’t believe in which are taking supplements, (besides protein if I don’t plan to eat enough that day or something) taking multivitamins because I’m not at the age yet where I’m in need of them, its usually geared toward someone who needs extra joint support or just an extra boost of health, and the biggest thing I’m against: cleansing. If you think draining your body of “toxins” is going to magically make you healthy then I suggest you look more into it. Sweat out your toxins in the gym, everything in moderation and eat your veggies, simple as that.

Now, I am no where near a professional and I have no training in discussing this topic besides one college class about nutrition that I don’t remember anything from #college. 

Anyway, here are my fav healthy tips/things I implement in my everyday routine:

Drink your fruits and veggies! Something that I do everyday is make a smoothie. I usually don’t switch it up very much because it’s SO GOOD. Look for the recipe at the bottom! Now, if you’re like me and can’t eat fruit just by itself more than once a day, meaning for example, you can’t have an orange for breakfast and then a banana later and a handful of grapes. I don’t know if that makes sense but I would rather drink my fruits and veggies and then add them additionally to my food throughout the day instead of eating them by themselves.

Eat a hearty breakfast…. EVERY DAY. I know a lot of people who will not even eat breakfast or just have a small piece of fruit. Breakfast is what you need to fuel your day and it should always be your biggest meal of the day. It’s easy for me because the morning is my favorite time of day and I love to cook breakfast foods like my beloved breakfast tacos.

Switch out your grains. This one has always been tough for me. But tbh no matter what fad diet bs (and they are bs) that I hear about, I could never live comfortably without bread and pasta. That being said, I try and switch out white rice for brown, regular pasta for whole wheat or veggie (they have some weird ones at trader joes like black bean, which was disgusting, but if you’re curious about other pastas, thats your place!) and whole grain bread instead of white or sourdough. Believe it or not, eating this stuff is not detrimental if eaten in moderation, which brings me to my next point…

Moderation is key. It doesn’t matter the health kick that I’m on, I will not skip out on life to meet a calorie count. If I have a family gathering and we’re eating hearty lasagna and bread, I’m not going to load up on salad and feel like I’m missing out. I’ve tried to do this in the past and every time I do, I find myself longing for bad food throughout the night or whenever, instead of enjoying the company I’m with. Now, I’m not saying let the gate open and run wild in a field of cupcakes BUT, I am saying you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Unless you have a strict goal or timeline of what you want your body to look like or you’re happiest when you eat clean then DO YOU. You guys, this post is not meant to attack those that live a strict diet lifestyle. I’m talking to those of you that try and implement healthier habits into your day to day. Also, I’m telling you more about myself and my own personal habits. Back to moderation, having a burger once in a while and a slice of pizza is O K A Y. Its when fast food is consumed everyday or when you go most days without anything green entering your system, then it becomes a problem. There is a very fine line and it takes a while to find it, yes, I’m still searching for mine.

Eat food that you actually like. Do not try and force down healthy food if it’s the worst thing that you’ve ever had. If you’re a picky eater, try foods every now and again cooked in different ways and you might be surprised. For example, I think broccoli is satan on earth in my mouth when its not cooked. It doesn’t matter how much ranch I put on it, I absolutely hate it. But, when it’s steamed or baked, it’s my favorite vegetable. My point is, don’t force feed yourself healthy food because you’ll never adjust to a habit of eating that way. You should enjoy what’s in front of you rather than dreading what you’re about to ingest.

It’s okay not to eat meat for your protein. This is for my non-vegan/vegetarian friends. I used to only base my meals around a meat. It took me a long time to realize I don’t need to have it every meal. There is a lot of protein to be found in other sources and while I do eat meat, I love making vegan recipes and stripping down typical recipes to be healthier. I hear a lot that a good tip is to make one day a week a vegetarian/vegan day and I have been doing it recently. I honestly haven’t really noticed a difference but I love trying new recipes and challenging myself.

Drink your damn water. I think this is the most obvious and we all know we need to drink a lot of water but I think this one is not only the most important tip but the most impactful. I definitely feel it when I don’t drink enough water. I rely SO heavily on my hydroflask to get my daily serving of water. I usually drink two servings in my 40 OZ bottle and then drink two glasses at home. This has made a huge difference in my skin, my energy and it helps with cleaning out all your toxins instead of a harmful cleanse.

Now, I wanted to give you guys a brief peak into what I typically eat in a day and how I balance things out + extra tips!

Breakfast:

-2 egg whites

-handful of spinach

-1 piece of turkey bacon

-green bell pepper in my eggs, about 2 tablespoons

-about 2 tablespoons of cut up white onion

-1 slice whole grain toast

-handful of fruit (usually blueberries)

-teaspoon unsalted almond butter on toast

-1 tablespoon of trader joe’s super seed blend on toast

Snack:

-Nut butter filled cliff bar (coconut almond butter flavor)

Lunch:

I would like to say that I make lunch everyday but its definitely the meal I eat out the most. Most days I go to Grill Hut and get chicken, rice, salad and pita bread and it’s my favorite lunch. But, if I make it at home I’ll usually have something like this:

-1/2 cup steamed broccoli

-Veggie patty

-romain lettuce (to wrap veggie patty)

-handful of mixed nuts

-sautéed sweet potatoes ( cooked in coconut oil and seasoned with thyme, garlic powder and paprika.)

Snack:

-Always one of my smoothies which is:

1 tangerine

1 banana

1/2 cup frozen strawberries

handful frozen spinach

a little less than a handful of frozen peas

1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar

1 tablespoon coconut oil

fill halfway with water

Dinner:

-If you know my family, you know that we eat chicken, rice and salad for dinner almost every night (fitting that I eat it for lunch too…) so that’s what I’m going to list here:

-1 grilled chicken breast

-Brown rice, a little over 1/2 a serving

-Roasted veggies, usually broccoli, carrots, cauliflower and onion

-Salad, I like mine without dressing most of the time, about a cup of spinach

After dinner snack:

-usually always dangerous but I have a GIANT sweet tooth so I usually keep my favorite cookies on deck. They’re the Trader Joe’s gluten free chocolate chip cookies and I am clearly not gluten free but they are SO tasty. It doesn’t make it healthier by being gluten free necessarily but I just like the taste of them! If I don’t have those handy, I’ll also have a couple pieces of dark chocolate or honestly just drink a cup of tea (peppermint of course) and it keeps me full enough for bed time to where I don’t feel starving going to sleep.

Total Calories: 

2,379.

Macronutrients:

Carbs- 43% Fats- 37% Protein-20%

This is obviously a rough estimate of what I eat everyday because its never the same but everything I’ve listed is common in my days so this is pretty accurate! (this is based off of a 2,000 calorie a day diet, I also used the Fitbit app to figure this out for reference.)

  I hope this was helpful to you! The only change that can come to your healthy habits starts with you and you only. However, with some help on the way, slowly I think your potential will surface and be used fully. This is not to bash anyone or their eating habits, its only here to encourage you if you feel in need of a change. Or if you’re just curious about what I eat/ think is healthy. I would like to say that I eat perfect everyday and I love my body because of it but I’ll be straight: it’s something I have to work at everyday. Over time, I’ve cumulated habits that I’m proud of and I’m hoping to only continue that in this new year! Regardless of your body or eating habits- you’re all beautiful. You’re all loved.

XOXO,

New year, same beautiful you.

    OUTFIT DETAILS: leggings- Fabletics. top & sports bra- Forever 21. Shoes-Nike. Also wearing a Fitbit Blaze.

Healthy Habits With the whole "new year, new me," business that comes along with the new year, I thought I would throw some ideas your way and give you a little peak into my everyday healthy eating tips!

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6 Ways Having Your Groceries Delivered Can Save You Money

I started getting my groceries delivered several months ago, after I realized Amazon Prime Now offered free grocery delivery in my area. I’ve never looked back.

See Also on Kiplinger: Kirkland Products You Should Buy at Costco

With two young children, going to the grocery store is a hassle and takes away from time that we could be on playdates or at the park. But aside from the convenience, I’ve found that grocery delivery has been helping me drastically cut down on my grocery bill. I’ve been able to trim a couple hundred dollars from my monthly budget simply by ordering groceries online.

While Amazon Prime Now offers free same-day grocery delivery with a $99/year Prime subscription (fresh groceries may or may not be available in your area), there are many other affordable grocery services now available. AmazonFresh offers grocery delivery for an affordable monthly fee ($14.99 per month), and many grocers like Safeway and Whole Foods offer grocery delivery for a small fee per order, or a yearly membership. Safeway’s delivery service costs are $9.95 on orders $150 or more, and $12.95 for orders under $150. Whole Foods’ service is free for the first order, then $5.99 for one-hour delivery, $3.99 for two-hour delivery, or you can pay an annual membership fee of $99 and get any order over $35 for free.

Often grocery delivery services have coupons offering free delivery for newcomers, which can make it easy to try them out and find which service is most convenient and economical for you. Here’s how this modern convenience can improve your budget.

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1. Eliminate Impulse Shopping

Cutting down on impulse shopping is hands-down the number one reason I’ve been saving money on grocery shopping. When I’m shopping from the comfort of my own home, it’s so much easier for me to avoid the impulse buys of snacks, chocolates, and other unnecessary treats that I frequently indulge in if I see them at the store. This benefit is multiplied even more when I can avoid stepping into Target or another one of my favorite stores (somehow I’ll go there for milk and leave with a cart full of toys, shampoo, clothes, and cookies).

I often shop for just a few staples — eggs, bananas, bread, milk, and lettuce — and avoid filling up my cart with impulse purchases. Amazon Fresh does require a minimum total of $40 on deliveries to avoid a $9.99 delivery fee — it’s free over $40 — but they will sometimes offer free delivery credits on top of Prime orders if you choose free, no-rush shipping. (See also on WiseBread.com: 21 Fresh Food Delivery Services That Can Save You Big)

2. Reduce Waste

I like to order groceries on my phone while rummaging through and taking inventory of the contents of my fridge. That way, I only order items when I’ve run out and I cut down on duplicates of things I have. This reduces wasted food in the long run because I only buy what I need. It’s much easier to do this when I’m able to look through my fridge instead of trying to remember what I need while at the store.

See Also on Kiplinger: Why Blue Apron Was a Bust in My Marriage

Another strategy I have is to add things to my online cart as I run low on them, which makes it easy to check out when I need them. No more running to the store to buy one thing that you forgot on your last shopping trip!

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3. Enjoy Comparable Prices

I’ve found that, most of the time, online grocery prices are comparable to what you would pay in a regular supermarket. Sure, you will occasionally get an oddly high price, but once you know what the prices should be, you might be pleasantly surprised at how similar the prices are for delivered groceries. And when there’s an extra good deal (like jars of pasta sauce for $1) you can order a a lot without having to lug all those heavy bags home yourself.

4. Waste Less Time

It takes me far longer to prowl through the aisles of a grocery store looking for a specific item than to simply type it into the search bar on my grocery delivery app. Adding things to my cart as I run low on them also saves time. Now I no longer have to block off an hour or two of time to go grocery shopping (including driving time), and I can take the kids to the park instead (where I don’t get tempted to spend money). Or I could write an article in that time, and get paid!

Amazon Fresh’s delivery service doesn’t even require you to be home to accept the delivery. The items you order are packaged accordingly — frozen and perishable items together in coolers with ice packs — and arrive at your doorstep. You can choose to be home for the delivery or not, but if you know you won’t be home, you can select that option while placing your order, and you can expect the delivery to be left on your doorstep during the scheduled delivery time of your choosing. You also don’t have to tip the driver.

5. Meal-Plan More Efficiently

I often find that my best-laid meal plans get derailed when I arrive at the grocery store and see something else that tickles my fancy instead. If you’re really into meal-planning, having your groceries delivered can help you meet those meal-planning goals. When you’re setting up your menu for the week, add the groceries to your online shopping cart as you go. The bonus of shopping this way is that you can order everything you need for the week at once, making the most of the delivery fee.

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6. Stay Under Budget

It’s easy to check how much my total purchase is going to cost by glancing at my online cart. If I have a weekly grocery budget, this makes it far easier for me to tweak my purchases and stay under budget. If, for instance, I’m a bit over, I might buy apples instead of more expensive grapes, a head of lettuce instead of a bagged salad, or chicken thighs instead of steak. If you’ve ever gone to check out at the grocery store and realize that you’ve underestimated your purchase by $40, this is one way to avoid that.

See Also on Kiplinger: 15 Ways to Save on Groceries Without Clipping Coupons

Grocery delivery is convenient, and it can definitely save you money, but it’s not magic. You still have to be vigilant about checking prices just like you would at a physical supermarket. It might take a while to figure out which delivery service works best for you. And I still do have to run to the brick-and-mortar store once in awhile, just far less often than I did before.

This article is from Camilla Cheung of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website.

More From Wise Bread

5 Checkout Line Tricks to Finish Shopping Faster

The Only 15 Foods That Are Worth Buying Organic

Flashback Friday: 122 No-Fuss Dinner Ideas That’ll Save You Money

The Best and Worst Times to Go Grocery Shopping

The Produce Worker’s Guide to Choosing Fruits and Vegetables

This article is from Wise Bread, not the Kiplinger editorial staff.

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