#so i will just casually go insane

[nekomimithoughts]

Honestly because finding partners is hard in general. And as much as you want to be that for a couple, as you've talked about it the past, the attraction (sexual and otherwise) has to be there both ways. That kind of relationship is incredibly hard to find while it's also not you being exploited and we both know you don't want that. I really hope you can find a great couple to be that for 💕

Thank you <3 made me feel a bit better

I was half-joking, since I know partners are hard to find and how much has to match. I'm genuinely surprised so many people find partners at all.

I simply experienced too much (albeit polite) rejection* in the short span of this week for my sensitive little brain to handle. And I admit that it feels a but strange or maybe even dishonest but definitely frustrating to be told I'm the "perfect unicorn" and that there are so many people who fantasise about exactly what I want, but the couples that I'm actually talking to don't, want something different. And then even those couples tell me that I should have no trouble finding a couple since that's "everyone's fantasy". I'm starting to think that it's actually just a widespread myth that this is a popular fantasy. Maybe everyone is overestimating the popularity of certain fanatsies. Because if my fantasies were so common among couples... I should meet at least a few couples who have them?? That's a bit confusing indeed.

The issue is that I won't feel valid in my fantasies and desires until someone validates them by wanting the same, and that's just how it is (sociometer theory, basically). And until then I will feel kinda pathetic probably. Because I have no frame of reference.

*there is three couples that I've been talking to recently, like get-to-know-you, which also involved sharing my fantasies (which is still pretty difficult/mortifying to me), and they all didn't like my scenarios, or weren't interested in realising them. Outwardly I handled the communications/negotiations really well, respecting decisions, showing understanding, thanking them etc. As you do. While inwardly feeling unwanted and crying like a baby 👍 oh and also the one person who I met who shares my fantasies not responding for 2 weeks. Damn my heart, for it can break.

[dangeroustaintedflawed]

[mishaesque]

my issue is that just rewatching Supernatural isn’t enough. It takes too long. I want it all at once. I need a room covered in 327 monitors that feed me every single episode at the same time. I need the DVDs melted down and put into an IV drip. I want every single minute of the show tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. I need to live inside its flesh.

[journey-to-the-attic]

mephistopheles: "ik came out with a freestyle of increasing intensity for every beat we sampled........... a lot of it was unbroadcastable"

[recent-rose]

yknowwww there is something... deeply uncomfortable about the way mel never speaks directly to viktor in the 'build hextech weapons' scene. she really only speaks to jayce. plenty of people have pointed this out already but like the one scene they actually share a meaningful interaction and she treats him like he's beneath her. all this after jayce has emphasized how important viktor is, that hextech is theirs, together. she unequivocally ices him out, there's no other way to interpret this scene. the way it's shot too - from viktor's perspective, looking up at her, as though to reinforce the same belief in him. like he doesn't even bother expecting respect from her - or anyone from the upper echelon of piltover. he's fully accustomed to being dehumanized by everyone around him at this point. sometimes even by jayce, despite the trust they clearly have in each other.

then of course after this scene is viktor experimenting on himself. it's pretty clear that he has internalized his own dehumanization. crazy.

[makeriia]

Fantober day 31!! A free day again.

Recently gotten into HADES, and I think about them a normal amount (lie)

[lord-squiggletits]

The other day I saw something that actually made the fandom's complete lack of acknowledgement towards Megatron grooming/brainwashing Tarn make a lot of sense, which was essentially a comment that implied something along the lines of 'Tarn made himself worse.'

Which like, I guess makes sense as a justification? If you just write off Dying of the Light and Tarn's entire existence as him just "choosing" to be "worse" I guess it's easy to just blame Tarn and coddle Megatron as the victim of the whole thing.

As opposed to the actual truth of canon which is that Tarn was not always Tarn, Tarn used to be Damus, Damus was nothing like Tarn at all, and it was Megatron's direct, malicious, targeted intervention that took Damus (normal guy) and made him into Tarn (zealot freak). And that the DJD wasn't Tarn's creation, it was Megatron's creation, because Megatron not only wrote the DJD rulebook but also directly trained them (at least the initial members of the DJD, including Tarn) to be brutal, sadistic killers. And that Tarn's mental breakdown in Dying of the Light and subsequent deathhunt on Megatron was just Tarn continuing to fulfill the role Megatron assigned to him, which was to hunt down traitors to the Decepticon cause and make them pay in pain and death. In other words, that Tarn was literally carrying out the exact purpose that Megatron groomed him for, in service to the ideology that Megatron shaped to be centered entirely around ruthlessness, cruelty, and subjugation. And that everything Tarn did as an evil person was merely a logical extension of the ideology Megatron brainwashed him into carrying out, not him randomly deciding to "make himself worse" one day bc he was angy at his daddy.

But sure. I guess, from a certain, very zoomed in and granular perspective, Tarn is evil because he just chose to be that way and no one could've possibly predicted him turning on his master who reshaped his entire life to serve his will and then abandoned him. It's not like Megatron radicalized him for no reason and then built him to be a ticking time bomb or anything. No, Tarn just... decided to make himself worse. One day, for no reason at all. Mmmkay.

[rogloptimist]

reading through this interview with tadej’s parents and hmmmm being conflict averse soo fun i think something could be said about this

[neosatsuma]

when John tells Arthur his finger is bleeding and Arthur muses wryly, "Should have used our left hand," I'm going INSANE like it used to upset him so much that John "took" his left hand but now it's a) "ours" and b) a neat trick to avoid feeling pain I'M. !!!!!!! NO ONE is doing it like them (??????)

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

i really need a good hyperfixation right about now

[ink-blot-thoughts]

Okay for a while my genshin bio was "Arlecchino simp, Childe stan, Dottore apologist" and while that was my bio, someone joined my world and asked me why I liked Dottore? At the time I just said heeheehoohoo man funny cause that's true but thinking about it, I've realised why I like Dottore.

So, picture this. I joined genshin in around 3.2ish. I didn't do any events that I hadn't unlocked the story for and I wasn't really in the fandom. So lil old me was just playing through the story, and having the time of my life in Sumeru cause it was so fucking weird.

Then. You defeat the big boss. You cry about Rukkhadevata. Nahida is gonna give us some lore now, right?? Nope get fucking flashbanged.

So this was already shocking enough then out walks Mr Doctor, who had seemingly left Sumeru in a boat. Okay weird, guess he came back. WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS CLONES?!?! And then his clones get merked the second I find out about them?!!?!?

So I'm reeling from that when he promises knowledge not even the god of wisdom knows. And I perk up cause lore!!! I like lore!!! Then. Then the motherfucker. He says "Sky's fake."

Remember, I knew none of this. Bitch just dropped sky's fake on my head out of nowhere. And while I was going "THE SKY IS FUCKING WHAT?!?!!?" Man just casually faded to black. Like he hadn't dropped the most batshit insane lore possible.

Now if you're normal and you knew the background genshin lore, that would make sense. You already know about the fake sky and Dottore's segments and all, so the casual delivery totally tracks.

But I didn't. So to me this man walked up, drugged us, revealed he had clones, murdered said clones, then dropped one of genshins biggest lore bombs before fucking off. In the space of one conversation. Fucking iconic.

So that's why I like Dottore :)

[sometimeswritingsometimesdying]

conversation post fencing session...

hehe i am finally able to go back to my digital art roots so here is a little practice doodle of my favorite idiots

(without words under the cut)

[arolloyd]

Sharing a thought from Twitter, but the idea of a tlnm spinoff miniseries which is more slice-of-life based is just something I really need.. imagining it taking place post movie where it explores more of the ninjas' highschool and personal life, and expands everyone's dynamic together. And the very last episode could be something really special, like the ninjas graduating highschool together ouhhhhgg😭😭😭the potential I'm telling you THE POTENTIAL

[hauntedkeys]

I desperately need more of Russell and Johannah’s dynamic

[wildsaltair]

I’m suing him for irreparable mental damage, from which I will never recover

[daz4i]

i'm gonna lose my mind.