#so i think i will be able to fully get over it after graduation

[chemicalarospec]

every time I'm like "wow I barely noticed my 'crush' when he was around at all recently! I'm so close to being totally over it!" I go through a period where my gaze constantly drifts towards him when he's around, always admiring how pretty he looks.

[love-quinn]

— PARTIAL CREDIT

summary — when a new member of the waitstaff starts undermining you, you worry that your job might be in jeapordy. carmen knows you better than you think.

warnings — swearing, i think that's it

pairing — carmen berzatto x fem!waitress reader, semi (?) established relationship

pronouns — she/her

word count — 2.2k

note — i know i fully dropped off the face of the earth but unfortunately i was too busy channeling waitress reader a little too hard, i actually have to leave for work in a few hours but i really wanted to get something out. this 100% isn't inspired by true events or me projecting in any way, anyway i hope you enjoy!! <3

Being the only waitress at a successful restaurant is hard. During the dinner rush, between wiping tables, grabbing drinks and running food, you’ve slowly learned to be more adaptable to the Bear’s new clientele base. That’s not without its struggles, of course. 

Fortunately, Carmy and Natalie seem to understand that it’s a major handful to simply do your job. Which is why Richie thought it appropriate to call you in two hours early to meet the new waiter.   

Liam’s nice from what you’ve gathered. He’s been working with you at the Bear for about two months at this point, most of that has involved you and Richie training him, and he’s been very receptive to your instruction. 

Sure, sometimes he mutters under his breath when a customer asks him for something, but hey, they’re annoying sometimes. And sure, sometimes you find him in the walk-in on his phone, but you’d be lying if you said you were never on your phone at work. He’s had no complaints, and the work is always done to a standard that’s expected (he is still in training, you’re not delusional). 

You’ve worked at the Bear since they were still the Beef, right after Carmen took over. He realised Richie couldn’t keep up with the stuff at the front by himself, so he’d gone with the cheapest option available and thanked god every day that you weren’t awful at your job. You had just graduated from UofC and if you didn’t get a job when you had, you would have been pretty much out of options. You had no work experience outside of being a TA in college (which apparently didn’t have a lot of transferable skills, according to most of your potential bosses). You hadn’t been able to score an insane internship, you didn’t make super stellar grades, you’d been too busy being desperately poor and struggling to keep up.

You’d been really lucky that Carmen had taken a chance on you when he had, and you had been desperate to show him you were aware of that. Liam didn’t seem to have the same sentiment.

He was the same age as you, and he’d actually gone to UofC as well. He’d gotten a pre-med degree but wanted to take some time off before he went for his MD at Rosalind Franklin. 

He picked up on the work fairly easily, remembered when you showed him where the cleaning supplies were, showed him how to work the buttons on the till to ring in orders, and introduced him to all the staff. They were nice to him, nice enough. It took them a while to warm up to him, just like it took them a second to warm up to Carmen, to Sydney, to you. 

But now, several months in, they all got along enough that work was going well. You didn’t have to work six days a week if you didn’t want to now that Liam was there to lighten the load (you did, you made sure Natalie knew that). Now, you could actually take your lunch break without worrying they were being completely overrun. 

On the whole, things seemed to really improve. 

Until, of course, they didn’t. 

You started hearing whispers, soft remarks of “Oh, I did that for her,” to Richie about greeting table seventeen. Small “I wonder why that wasn’t done, I’ll just do it quickly.” 

“Not to be that person, but I noticed that a lot of the straws haven’t been stocked up. I feel like I have to do it every time. I just wonder what she’s doing when she’s back here…”

You do your best to not let it get to you. He’s never worked in the service industry before, he’s probably just doing his best to make sure that his efforts are being noticed. You were almost lucky, in that way, that you were the only real waitress they’d hired. 

It’s an unusually warm day as you slide in through the back entrance to work. You’re your usual twenty minutes early, lucky that there’s enough work to do that Carmen often encourages punctuality (and thus, fairly compensates for it). 

Liam is scheduled today, but he’s leaving after the lunch shift. You get your break while the kitchen does prep-work for dinner, and then you’re coming back for dinner as well. 

Marcus is in his corner, kneading bread dough with a concentrated look on his face. You brush past him with an airy hello that he returns with a half-hearted wave, not looking up from his task. 

Tina is on vegetables, and she stops you for a moment to ask about a shipment arriving. You assure her that you’ll check when you get to the other side of the kitchen, making your way to the front.

The chairs are already all down, table cloths clean and freshly washed. Sydney went down to the laundromat to get them all clean that morning; she’d texted you and asked if you wanted to come but you told her that you really, really didn’t. 

Your first job is a pre-opening sweep, then a restock, then a menu review. You have 87 minutes until service, and Liam should be here in the next fifteen minutes or so. You have just enough time to go and bug Richie into showing you more pictures of Eva’s last birthday party. 

You stick your head into the office just in time to catch the tail end of a sentence that you definitely weren’t meant to hear; “...doesn’t even stack the chairs? What is she doing here?”

Your work anxieties - the idea that every time something goes wrong it was your fault, that one missed drink or late appetiser would have you fired, that every time a customer berated you it was actually your fault - had definitely eased some in the six months you’d been working there. You’d stopped thinking that every time someone was complaining it was about you, but that meant that when they really were talking about you, you knew. 

Liam’s standing there, leaning up against a pile of papers that Carmen is staring roughly at. He looks tired - when doesn’t he? - and like he doesn’t really want to hear whatever it was that Liam was saying. 

“A lot more than you do,” Carmen grumbles. He runs a hand over his face from the bottom up, coming to a rest when it’s gripping onto his curls. 

“I’m always covering her sections,” Liam groans. “The amount of time that Rich’s given me her table’s drinks, it’s insane. We should start pooling our tips.”

Carmen wants to say a lot back to that. That his name is Richie, and calling him Rich doesn’t make him any more like the finance frat bros that Liam is so desperate to associate with. That tip pooling would be insanely unfair to you considering Carmy’s pretty sure Liam’s made less than what you make in a day. That he stacks the chairs because he likes to, and you know that. 

Instead, he settles on “you’re always covering her sections because she’s always covering up for you when you screw up.”

Liam looks like he’s unsure whether or not to go ghostly pale or beet red at the statement. “Wh- has my performance not been up to scratch, sir?”

Carmen stands. “I didn’t really notice it, at first, cause everything was going so well. She’d never tell on you, she knows what it’s like to struggle at a job.” He looks disdainfully down at Liam’s too-new dress shoes. Professional but impractical as a waiter. From what Carmen’s noticed, this is the second pair he’s ruined. “She’d never tell me that your silverware is never rolled, so she’s been staying late and rolling every single one of them. She’d never tell me that your tables are never cleared away. She’d never tell me that you had six meals comped in your first month because you couldn’t be fucked writing shit down.

So yeah, maybe you get her tables a refill when she’s too busy telling one of us one of your guests was coeliac because you forgot to, but that does not give you the right to look down your entitled fucking nose at her.” Carmen gets close, not close enough to the point where it could be uncomfortable, but much closer than he’d ever get to Liam if he could help it. 

“You don’t like picking up her slack? That’s fine, that’s fucking fine, because to be honest, it seems like you’re creating more work for her anyway. You’re done.”

He looks pointedly towards the door to the small office. 

Liam knows exactly what Carmy’s telling him. “Sir, I-”

Carmen raises a finger and points. “You’re fucking done.”

Liam scampers away so quickly he doesn’t even see you eavesdropping. 

Carmy knows, though. He seems to have a sixth sense for when you walk into a room. If you’re not planning on coming in to confront him about firing Liam then he has no intention of bringing it up with you. He sits down, putting his forehead on his fist. “Sir.”

You’re standing right in the door, it’s practically impossible for Carmen not to notice you. But he pretends, allowing you the chance to slip away and act like you hadn’t just witnessed him firing Liam for being slightly mean to you. 

He opens his eyes to see you standing there still. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” your voice is soft. The collar of your shirt is tucked underneath on one side, and Carmen has to resist the urge to reach up and smooth it out. He’s not quite sure why and he doesn’t feel like unpacking it. “He’s still learning, I don’t mind helping him out.”

Carmen doesn’t mince his words. “He’s a dick, don’t defend him.”

He swivels away from his desk and gestures for you to sit. After a second of hesitation, you perch yourself on top of the small surface. You’re not sure who moves first, Carmen to reach up and take your hands or you to reach down to let him. Neither of you have ever spoken about it, like a lot of things. How he always makes sure you get extra food and you make sure Carmen isn’t bothered while he sets up the dining room. 

You hadn’t realised how much Liam had been heightening your anxiety while he was there. “He’s not allowed to do that to you.” Carmy sounds genuinely pissed. “You do fucking everything out there, he’s not allowed to come in and treat you like some sanctimonious fuck. You… you should’ve come to talk to me about it.” He gives in. “You could’ve.”

“I didn’t want to be a problem.” You admit quietly. “You have enough without me.”

Plenty goes unsaid between you and Carmen. You don’t talk when he drives you home in the dark, in the snow. But he’d be naive to believe that the same rules applied to everyone else. The kitchen staff talks, none more than Richie. Carmy is surprised he hadn’t decked that pre-med asshole already. 

“You’re not a problem, honey,” he says gruffly. You stay silent for a moment before realising that’s probably all you’re going to get out of him. 

“I need to go prep dining for service,” you say after a moment, not wanting to speak too loudly. 

Camry’s grip on your hand tightens and for a brief second he feels panic set in. You clearly are feeling okay, so it’s not that he needs to check on you. You’re well ahead of schedule. There’s no reason for Carmen to keep his hand enclosed around yours. And yet he does. And yet you let him.

“Liam was just in here bragging about how dining room prep was already done,” he says after a short while. “You’re well ahead of time.”

“He is,” you point out airily. “I’d never want to take credit for his work.”

Carmen squeezes your hands once, eyes crinkling at the sides. You both know you need to go over everything Liam did in an attempt to make himself look better, not one hundred percent trusting him to have done it properly. There’s 56 minutes until service before Carmen finally lets you go (and only because he has prep he needs to get done).

Plenty goes unsaid between you and Carmen. You don’t say anything when he cracks his office door open for you when you need a breather. You don’t say anything when his station’s been cleaned for him miraculously while you’re waiting for him to finish paperwork.

Luckily for you, the rest of your coworkers seem to understand this time. Nobody mentions Liam or his absence. No one mentions the stars drawn on the band-aid on Carmen’s wrist. And, most surprisingly pleasant, no one mentions how Carmen has started calling you honey more than perhaps your real name.

It makes it even nicer when everyone heads out, leaving you and Carmen alone in the restaurant for the night. They seem to have miraculously developed tact over the last 24 hours, but you’re pretty sure nothing could have stopped Richie from telling everyone about the way that Carmen holds your hand the entire way to your apartment. 

[k1mbe3rly]

hii!!! i have a request for choi su bong/thanos from squid game! (very sorry if it is hard to understand, english is not my first language)

thanos and reader were friends before squid game, but fell out of contact due to both having issues with depression. they meet again at squid game and stay together

in mingle, reader gets pushed by another player while running to a room with thanos and they get locked out of the room (like young-mi 😔)

i like angst hehe

ouuu okk

Infant and innocent.

warnings: death (LOWKEY NOT EVEN THAT SAD, idk how to write angst sorry!!)

You and Thanos had went to highschool, he looked completely diffrent before, black hair, no tattoos, yall were best friends but fell out after graduation due to both of yall having issues and his little rapping career

The last place you thought you’ll ever see him was in the Squid games, he looked wayy different now.. the purple dyed hair, the tattoos, rings and the cross necklace, even tho he didn’t look the same as before you were still able to recognize your best friend.

“Oh my gosh! it’s been so long! how have you been!” you told him as you hugged quickly, “I’ve been better! i’ve missed you, what about you huh? you look the exact same as before!” he told you as he hugged you back “I’ve been good, better now!” you said giggling

Ever since that reunion, you both were practically glued to eachother, he introduced you to Nam-gyu which he had a mouth on him so Thanos would always say something to protect you

You guys stayed together thru out the games and catched up, laughing and everything

Yall were already teamed for the 2nd game, The six legged pentathlon, yall were sitting down on the floor noticing thanos acting different than Nam-gyu spoke up

“Hey dude can i have one of those things in your necklace?” he asked, thanos looked over “i don’t know what the fuck your talking about”

“Come on i’m like really shaky, dude look at my hands” he said shaking him his hands as you looked at them as well, “Do you know what this is?” he said raising his cross “Ecstasy?” “Nah this shit is crazy man.”

“Bro back then in the club i took all of it man..” nam gyu said as if it was something to flex, Thanos chuckled as he opened his cross “you little junkie..” he said giving him a colorful? smartie looking pill

He than looked over at you, “Want one?” he asked as you shaked your head “Uh.. what is it?” you asked back “Something that will chill your nerves, make you go brrr! know what i mean?” he said chuckling

You chuckled along trying to seem like you knew but than quickly stoped in confusion “No i don’t know what you mean..” you said, “God your so innocent..” he said chuckling a bit

Time skip

The 2nd gave was over with as yall mange to survive that, you sighed as you looked around, “What’s wrong?” Thanos asked looking up at you from the stairs, “Nothing just missing home, i guess…” you told him

His eyes slightly darken, “I think ima pick ‘X’, I kinda wanna go home, besides i think that’s enough money right?” you said to him again, “Nah.. you could always do more, besides you’ve survived this long why not just one more game?” he told you hoping you wouldn’t pick ‘X’

You hesitated, “I don’t know..besides it’s a bit dangerous, i mean who knows what the next game is right?” you said, Nam gyu glared up at you but he knew better to say anything because of thanos

“There just child games, it’s not like any of it is actually hard.. so one more game? than we get the hell out of here and fully catch up” he said smiling, you smiled back, “Sure..why not, i guess it shouldn’t be hard” you told her as he secretly applaud inside

You guys got yalls food as he looked at it, “The hell is this?” he asked the guards, he scoffed and walked away, you grabbed your food doing a small bow to the guard and quickly catching up to him

“Here, you can have mine” You told him giving him your bread, “What? no it’s yours” he said back pushing the bread away a bit, “No really, have it i’m not that hungry” you told him smiling at him

“Nah..you have to eat, you need energy for tomorrow” he told you, you rolled your eyes playfully as you opened the bag and split the bread into 2, “Than have my other half” you told him

He chuckled, you just won’t give up, he grabbed it and smiled at you

Time skip

It was now time for the 3rd game, Mingle, They explained the rules, they basically called out a random number and we have to pair up with the exact number and go into a room before times up, Seems easy right?

Everyone stepped on the platform as it started moving slowly in circles, a child games song came up as you stood there watching Thanos go in circles, his arms interlocked with Nam gyu as they laughed, you laughed a bit as you just looked away

“10 players”

The light started going darker colors and flickering a bit, since it was already 5 of yall, you just needed 5 more which yall quickly found and ran into a room

As the rounds went on the numbers were getting shorter

You were running with thanos as yall panicked and ran into a room with other people, both of yall slamming yourselves into the wall as he placed a hand to his chest, you covered your mouth laughing a bit since time was very low

He looked at you laughing as well, “Holy shit that was close!” he said, you nodded “Yea for a second i thought it was over! than i’ll have to hunt you down for saying one more game!” you told clearly joking and laughing

He laughed with you, “Nahh, I told you, your gonna make it trust! with those running skills? your good to go” he said back, “You better hope so” you said as you finally catch your breath.

The doors unlocked as everyone stepped back, everyone went back onto the platform

“Let the game begin”

Than the platform started moving and the same song came on, everyone waited a bit nervous as the platform stopped

“6 players”

Was all you heard, we still had 5 as thanos yelled out, “We need 1 more!!” he moved around as a random person came, “Come on!” he yelled at the group as he started running to a room, but when he opened it, people were already in there

“Get out!!” the people yelled as he quickly slammed the door

“Here!! this one is empty!!” Nam-gyu yelled as he was at a door, the whole group started running, you were running behind them

Your heart was beating as suddenly you were shoved, slammed into a wall, you let out a yelp

You felt dizzy since your head hit the wall, “Su bong..?” you said out, luckily thanos was able to hear you since, he quickly turned around seeing you

“Y/n!” he yelled out as he saw you getting up looking at him a bit dizzy, he was about to run to you until someone grabbed him pushing him in

You came to realization as you quickly ran to the door but it was already shut and locked, your heart was pounding faster than ever as you panicked

Thanos roughly shoved the guy away from the door looking into the little rectangle hole, the only thing he faced was your eyes which were tearing up

“Y/n!” he yelled out reaching his hands thru the hole as he felt your cheek, your tears fell down onto his finger tips even him started feeling tears forming

“Su bong..” you whispered

Thanos tried to reach out his hand even further as he was able to touch your cheek fully, he shaked his head refusing to believe that you were out there and he was inside

You leaned into his touch a bit as your tears made his hand wet, “No..no! y/n..” he said quickly

You didn’t have time to answer him as you felt a sharp sting thru your back, you let out a loud yelp as your body flinched, your head fell onto the door, more into thanos hand as he widen his eyes

He moved his hand to your chin trying to hold you up as your eyes went lifeless, his tears begin falling down as he couldn’t hold you up anymore, your body fell to the ground.

He banged his head on the door a bit as everyone watched him, he turned to the guy that pushed him inside and brutally punched him as Nam gyu quickly grabbed on to him

“Chill…chill it’s okay.” he said still pulling him back , Thanos growled and gripped onto his own hair

He started remembering everything, your smile, your last moments, what you told him last round about hunting him if you died.

If only he let you pick ‘X’ and so did he, you both would’ve been home being able to catch up properly.

[roosterforme]

Would you write us a mini blurb of Kylie trying to steal Jake and then her trying to get with the other daggers. Would love to see Jake call her out for being a shitty friend and crappy person in general. Then watch him hype up his girl and she comes along and watch’s the whole thing unfold. would be amazing.

I've been thinking about this scenario all week! Kylie would sabotage her friendship with Darlin' (or what's left of it) just to have even the slightest chance to get some attention from Jake. I mentioned that she definitely hit on him at the bar before Darlin' formally introduced them, but apparently that rejection from Jake early on wasn't enough.

"I can't believe I'm graduating in a week," you moaned. Jake had you pinned up against your bedroom wall in your tiny apartment that you shared with Kylie. He was pretty sure your roommate heard the two of you having sex last night; the wall between the bedrooms seemed to be paper thin, and she barely looked at either of you all day while you moved your stuff out.

"And you're moving in with me today," Jake grunted, kissing along your neck as you sighed in contentment. "You're a busy girl, Darlin'."

There were only a few boxes that still needed to make their way to his truck, and while the two of you barely spent any time here together, he was feeling a little nostalgic. There was that one weekend when Kylie was in Mexico and the power was out at his place where the two of you made love on the living room floor. And your bed frame was bent after the week of spring break when he fucked you so hard, the metal got warped.

"This was a good apartment," he murmured, and you laughed in response.

"You told me so many times you hated sleeping over here!"

Jake took a step away from you, and stacked up three boxes to take to his truck. "I hated having to be quiet and get fully dressed before I could leave your bedroom. But there were some good times," he replied with a wink. "I'll run these outside and be right back."

You followed him as far as your apartment door, saying, "I'll check my mailbox one last time and meet you back up here."

Then you went right while he went left, and it only took Jake a minute to throw the boxes into his truck and sprint back upstairs. He was just getting himself a drink of water when he heard you walk back in.

"Hey, Dar-" But it wasn't you. It was your almost former roommate. "Hey, Kylie."

"Jake," she replied with a smile, making his name sound idiotically like it was three syllables long. "Let me see your phone?"

He took a long sip of water before he finally asked, "Why?"

"Just let me see it." She reached out and poked his phone in his jeans pocket, and he took a step backwards, spilling his water down the front of his shirt.

"Why?" he asked again, this time anger seeped into his voice.

"So you can have my number. For when you get bored."

He was so confused now. "Bored?" He would never be bored enough to want to talk to her, but then she said something that really made him mad.

"Yeah... bored with your relationship."

He stood completely still, and the expression on his face must have scared her, because her hand froze on the way back to his pocket. "You know what? You're a really shitty friend."

"No, I'm not," she said with a shrug, still trying to be coy.

But Jake snapped. "What is it exactly? You're mad that you were able to collect all the other guys, but not me? Or you're bitchy because she didn't have to do anything except be herself to make me fall in love with her?"

"What's going on?" you asked from the doorway. When Jake looked at you, there was uncertainty in his eyes, which made him sick.

"Absolutely not a damn thing," he practically growled. He took the mail from your hand and shoved it into the last box with your name on it. Then he picked it up and wrapped his free hand around your waist. "Say goodbye to Kylie. We won't be seeing her again."

Then he led you out to his truck without a backward glance and drove you to his place where you would never be treated badly if he had anything to say about it.

[cjlouwho]

if you're still taking prompts:

Buck finds pictures of Tommy in his army days

thank you

@verschlimmbesserung also sent a prompt about DADT, this fic features both prompts! Sorry it took so long to write out! ft. Buck asking loads of questions because he's a curious man.

Buck was busy reorganizing the garage to put the most important boxes toward the front when he stumbled upon an old, tattered box. He and Tommy had moved into their new place nearly two weeks ago, but a wildfire had set them back on being able to unpack and actually get settled.

He didn't recognize the box. Certainly hadn't seen it during their move. The top couldn't even fully close. The flaps were flimsy, torn, and looked like it had been wet and dried a few times over.

He opened the box carefully, then reached in and lifted out a handful of photographs. There were other items inside as well, but the pictures were what grabbed Buck's attention.

They were all Tommy. A young, very handsome Tommy, taken during his time in the army.

Buck had no idea these pictures even existed. Tommy didn't speak much about his time in the military. He wasn't secretive about it, would answer questions when he was asked, but he wasn't one to regularly bring it up in conversation. Buck had always sensed a bit of tension there, so he didn't pry.

The first picture was Tommy in the cockpit, staring straight ahead. He looked hyper-focused on whatever he was doing. The second was him in his bunk, glaring up at whoever took the picture, his hand raised in an attempt to shield himself from the camera. The third was a bit of a shock to see. He had a head injury of some kind, blood exiting a cut on his forehead. He was smiling though, giving the camera a thumbs up.

“Babe, I finished the kitchen boxes, but-” Tommy stopped as he stepped out into the garage and saw Buck staring down at something. “Distracted already? You've been out here like five minutes.”

Buck held up the collection of pictures. “I didn't know you had all these,” he said softly.

Tommy moved closer, taking a few of the photos from Buck's hand. “Oh yeah. I haven't looked at these in, God, like twenty years? Maybe more.”

Buck studied Tommy's face for a moment, checking for any signs that he was upset before asking, “Can we look through them?”

Tommy tore his eyes away from the photographs to look up at Buck. He smiled. “Of course.”

They headed into the living room, which was almost completely bare, but it did have a couch and a coffee table. They laid out the photos and sat down, then Buck began picking them up one by one.

“How old were you here?” he asked. Tommy was staring off into the distance, saluting. He looked like a baby. Didn't even look old enough to shave.

Tommy thought for a moment before responding. “Eighteen, I think? Yeah, that was right after I graduated basic, so eighteen.”

“You look so young.”

“I was actually 5'9 at the time. Had a growth spurt during pilot training.”

Buck picked up another one. Tommy was leaning against a sign that had something written in Arabic, his arms crossed in front of him. “Were you scared?”

“Deep down, sure. Never showed it though.”

“That's why I had to leave SEAL training,” Buck replied. “They wanted machines, and I couldn't be a machine.”

“I don't recommend it.”

Buck spread the pictures out some more, so he could look over a few at a time. “Why don't you ever look through these?” he asked.

Tommy shrugged. “I guess I don't really connect with them anymore. Haven't in a long time.”

“What do you mean?”

Tommy took a deep breath, let it out slowly. He picked up one of the pictures. It was just him, standing in front of a chopper. He had aviator sunglasses on, one leg cocked out in front of the other. There was no smile on his face, just a stern look at the camera. “This guy feels like a different person.” He huffed out a laugh, handed the picture to Buck. “This guy was a sarcastic dick.”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “You, sarcastic? No.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I was a lot worse back then. Had the worst chip on my shoulder. I'd get angry about anything and everything. Took things that weren't serious way too seriously. Wasn't serious enough about things I should have been serious about. Cocky as hell.”

Buck picked up another picture, looking over every detail.

“I used to pretend he wasn't me, actually,” Tommy continued, gaining Buck's attention once again.

“How so?”

“When I got discharged, after I got home, I threw everything army related into that box out there and shoved it in the back of my closet. Ironic, right?” he quipped. Buck smiled. “Anyway, when memories would weasel their way into my head, I'd do just about anything to get them out. Even when I worked under Gerrard and was still a cocky dick, I tried to make myself feel better by pretending this guy,” he held up another photo, “didn't exist.”

“When'd you change your mind?”

“When I started going to therapy. Learned to embrace who I was instead of try to run from it. Running doesn't really work anyway when you're trying to get away from yourself.”

Buck looked through a few more of the photos before speaking again. “Why were you discharged?”

Tommy looked genuinely surprised by the question. “I never told you?”

“No.”

“Wow. Here I was thinking we knew each other inside out.”

“Well, technically.” Buck wiggled his eyebrows.

Tommy laughed, shook his head. He moved some of the pictures around until he found a certain one. He showed it to Buck. It was four guys sitting next to one another in the middle of the desert. Three of them, including Tommy, had their middle fingers raised high in the air. The guy at the end held two fingers up in a peace sign.

“See the guy with the peace sign?”

Buck nodded. “Mhm.”

“He's the reason I was discharged. Shockingly, out of everyone in that photo, he was the biggest ass of all.”

“What happened?”

“I joined in 2002, and I was deployed immediately after I finished flight school. It was 2003 by then, but 9/11 was still fresh in everyone's mind, and they needed soldiers. I was originally deployed for six months, but that turned into a year, and then an extra three months was added to that. I had two months left when that guy showed up. His name's Hunter, by the way," he spoke the man's name with distain.

Buck took a closer look at the man. He looked a couple years older than Tommy. He had dark hair, darker eyes, a nice smile. Even though they were sitting, Buck could tell he was shorter than the rest of the guys in the picture. It appeared he tried to make up for his height by working out. He was broader than the others.

“Hunter,” Tommy continued, “seemed to fit right in with the rest of us. He was quieter though, which I kinda liked. So many people in the army were aggressively loud, all the time, so he was a nice change.”

“This story doesn't end happily, does it?”

Tommy looked at him and grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes. “He and I worked together a lot. Maybe it was something about the fact he was so quiet that it made me feel safer to, I don't know, to be more open with him. That's my mistake. Over the span of a month we'd gotten to know each other pretty well. Honestly, I thought he was coming on to me sometimes but you didn't say anything about that back then.”

“Don't ask, don't tell.” Buck knew exactly where this was going.

Tommy nodded. “He came to me one evening. Said he had to get something off his chest. Told me he had all these feelings for me and wondered if I felt the same. I-” Tommy paused, took a breath. Buck took the opportunity to reach over and take his hand, squeezing it tight. “I said I did. Said we couldn't do anything about it, but that I liked him more than I probably should. He, um, he recorded my part of the conversation.”

Buck sigh, squeezed his eyes shut. “God.”

“I don't know how he could tell, you know? I'd spent fourteen months with some of these guys and no one had ever suspected a thing. But, the next day I was called in for a meeting with my CO, and he played the tape for me. Told me I was a good soldier, but he couldn't have that type of behavior in the field. He said he'd be kind though and give me a general discharge so it wouldn't look as bad in my records.”

“I- I don't even know what to say, Tommy. That's terrible, honestly. I don't know why that was ever even a thing, and that guy was so stupid and-”

Tommy squeezed Buck's hand now, smiling at him gently. “It was a long time ago, babe. It's okay, I'm okay,” he reassured him. “A lot of people had it much worse than I did. Lots of them got dishonorably discharged, some were beaten up, some were murdered. I was lucky, really.”

Buck felt on the verge of tears now. He cleared his throat, hoping his voice didn't break as he spoke. “It doesn't make what happened to you right though.”

“I know. Like I said, I wasn't the best person then either. But,” he glanced over the photos, “this guy's me, whether I like it or not.”

Buck scooted closer to Tommy, taking Tommy's arm and wrapping his own around it, “I like it,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to Tommy's bicep. The words garnered a questioning look from Tommy. “Without this guy,” Buck explained, “you wouldn't be who you are now, and I like who you are now. I love who you are now.”

Tommy took his free hand and brought two fingers up to Buck's chin, lifting it until their eyes met. “I really, really love you,” he said before leaning in for a kiss.

Buck hummed into it. No matter how many times they'd done it, something about kissing Tommy always made him emotional. Like another weight was lifted from his body every time their lips met.

“We really need to get back to unpacking,” Tommy murmured as they parted, but Buck made no effort to move.

“We're both off tomorrow too,” Buck replied, resting his head on Tommy's shoulder and closing his eyes. “It can wait.”

Sometimes Tommy wondered how he got here. How he ever got lucky enough to end up with someone like Evan. Someone so loving and forgiving. Someone who loved him and his flaws. Someone who made him feel free. Tommy settled further into the couch, pressing a kiss to the top of Buck's head. “Yeah,” he agreed, “it can wait.”

[star-centric]

Sunflower (Adoration) || Leona

MEANING: “This radiant bloom is seen as a symbol of adoration due to its resemblance to the sun itself — a universal source of warmth and affection. Furthermore, its ability to turn towards the sun throughout the day has led it to become associated with loyalty. The unwavering devotion displayed by these flowers mirrors qualities valued in human relationships.”

A/N: I realized I haven’t wrote about Twisted Wonderland on this blog yet cause I don’t even have a masterlist 😵‍💫 reader is gender neutral and graphics by @/firefly-graphics!

❀ FLOWER SPECIAL MASTERLIST ❀

“Are you going to miss me when I leave?”

Leona didn’t say anything, the only acknowledgment you received being a twitch of his ear. He had his head plopped down on your lap while he took one of his daily naps, bringing you onto his bed as one of his sought out pillows (which has become more of a routine lately). Your fingers combed through his hair absentmindedly, straining your ears to see if you could hear anything close to a purr (it wouldn’t happen, but you were determined nonetheless).

“I know that it probably won’t happen anytime soon, but it’ll happen eventually right?” You rambled on. “Crowley keeps saying it’s a priority, but it’s also Crowley- I don’t hold my breath when it comes to anything dealing with him.” Which was true- you wouldn’t be surprised if you found yourself still here when Ace and Deuce finally graduate, which was saying something considering they’re only freshmen. But you still couldn’t find yourself to be fully upset at the thought.

You missed your world. You missed your friends, family, sometimes the normalcy. You did miss it.

But your heart was torn at the thought of leaving everyone here too. And you didn’t see yourself getting the best of both worlds when Crowley would eventually send you back. When you leave Twisted Wonderland, you’re leaving everything behind- including Leona.

It was still baffling at how he fell for you, and vice versa. He was rude, selfish, and beyond lazy- but he still found a way to win you over. It was still a mystery to everyone at how you two got together.

“What are you going to do when I have to go back to my world?” You didn’t catch that you didn’t refer to it as your home. “Who’s going to be your new pillow when I’m gone?” You chuckled, but your heart really was twisting in pain.

It was hard to imagine that one day you would wake up without Grim curled up next to your side, or without the freshman duo showing up to your doorstep with whatever trouble they found themselves in. Or without any of the magic that you’ve come to love in this world.

Or without Leona.

That hurt the most.

Leona wasn’t a gentleman. He’s ill-mannered, crude, has a sour attitude- the complete opposite of the picture perfect partner. But the side that you were able to see overshadowed those qualities. He shows you his love in your own way, and that was more than enough for you.

You were word vomiting at this point, your insecurities taking over your thoughts and making you ramble. You could already see him with someone else, probably making him happier than you could-

“Are you done yet?”

Leona’s glare made you reel back, his nose mere inches from yours (when did he even move?). His eyes held the same fire that you’ve seen before in the Spelldive tournaments.

“What makes you think that I would be so quick to let you go?”

He scowled deepened as you tried to scramble away, your back already hitting the bed frame. Your brain was short circuiting and couldn’t come up with anything when Leona scoffed, then made a move to grab at your hand, pulling you forward.

He still had his angry look, but then he sighed, his face relaxing a bit. “Look, I know that you’ll be sent back to your world- I’m not stupid. But you must think of me as so low to think that I’ll go after someone else, and so quickly at that.”

“I know that you’re not dumb Leona, but-“

“So why ask me a dumb question?” He sucked his teeth, pushing you down onto the sheet with him towering over you.

He still had a bit of a fiery gaze, but his features softened as his eyes broke away from yours. “What makes you think that I would want to put up with someone else besides you? The person that’s been by me for this long. Why think of yourself as so replaceable?”

Leona has never been the soft type- you weren’t expecting any of the typical romance that you’ve seen before. He wasn’t the best person when it came to dealing with emotions (as was shown during his overblot, but you don’t think any of the housewardens know how to deal either), but he was someone that you knew wouldn’t lie to you and would still be there for you in his own way.

He shows his love in his own style, and it was perfect for you.

But there would be rare moments where he would slowly start to let his guard down with just the both of you, and this just so happened to be one of them.

“You leaving doesn’t mean the end of us. I won’t let that happen.” He spoke with conviction.

Leona said it before that he never met someone like you. Granted, that statement wasn’t given in the best context when he first said it to you. He meant it and still does in this moment. You give him a headache, disrupt his naps, and you make problems appear for him even when it doesn’t involve him-

But you’ve also been the only person to fully believe in him. To not just think of him as a scummy second-rate prince. You saw Leona as Leona- you saw him as an equal.

Even if Leona could find that someone else, they wouldn’t be you, so it wasn’t even worth it.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there- together.”

“Right…together.”

Leona looked pleased at your acceptance and kept you pinned down, nuzzling into your neck with his tail swaying. He ended up flipping you both on the side, looping his arms around your waist. “Now hurry up and calm down- you’ve messed up my nap and I can’t go to sleep if your heart’s about to beat out your chest.”

You laughed out an apology, settling down into a comfortable position before closing your eyes in an attempt to doze off.

[juyeoz]

˙ㅤ۪ 𓂋⠀FOR THE PLOT — AN 02z SMAU

011 ┆ MONTHLY REUNION (0.4k words)

“So, what’s up with you lately?” Yena asked while taking a sip of her Mango smoothie as you two walked around the amusement park.

“Well, do you remember Jake?” You asked, referring to the boy from your middle school. 

“Sim Jake? Of course I do! What about him?” Yena replied.

“We started talking again.” 

“Seriously?! That’s great! You two were so close back then.” She said, a smile appearing on her lips.

“I mean, yeah, but it gets worse…” You said, causing her to pause.

What did you mean by that?

“I think I might be developing feelings for Sunghoon as well…” 

“Okay…” She mumbled.

“So far, my feelings for Jake haven't fully returned yet… I just think he’s fine—very fine.” You explained and sighed.

“Oh wow… Is that everything?” Yena questioned, slowly bringing her straw to her lips.

“No, unfortunately. I was deep cleaning my room the other day and guess what I found!”

“Your 3rd grade halloween costume?” She teased.

“No! Luckily not.” You smiled at her joke. It was a terrible costume, one that you never wanted to remember.

“Then what was it?”

“The panda keychains I gave Jongseong on the fourth day of junior kindergarten.” 

She laughed at what you said. Nothing could have prepared her for that.

“There’s no way. Like, senior kindergarten Jongseong?” Yena was in disbelief.

“Yes… Who else do we know named Jongseong?” You said with another sigh. 

“Isn’t his name like Jay now? I think he goes to my art school.” 

“Seriously? I mean, I didn’t see him after he graduated in Sunghoon’s class.” You replied. Yena reached into her coat pocket, pulling out her phone.

“Look,” she said while looking up Jongseong’s new Twitter account. 

It was true, he went by Jay now. 

“He does a baking co-op?” You asked after reading his bio.

“Yeah, I rarely see him in the hallways nowadays. We had one cooking class during my freshman year since I was able to take a 10th grade course, but that was it. We didn’t talk at all.” 

You nodded at her words and scrolled down his account on her phone. 

“Wait, is that him now?” You asked while pointing at the recent selfie from a week ago.

“Yeah, why?” 

“He looks so much different. He definitely got a glow up.” You said, geeking over the photo. He was more finer than he was in middle school. Good lord, it was so over for you.

PREVIOUS MASTERLIST NEXT

NOTE — a full jay mention this chapter meaning……

ENHYPEN PERM TAGLIST — @miumura @macapunoz @ch4c0nnenh4 @ancnymcnzjy @i03jae @en-dream @firstclassjaylee @sunoo-bby @wensurr

FTP TAGLIST — @enhypenlovre @love-lee @ikeulove @mnhpuppy @httpenhoon @yeonmuse @modanisgf @wilonevys @starry-eyed-bimbo @immelissaaa @woniefull @mymelodyfanatic @hollxe1 @rikiiisoob @parkjjongswifey @coqhee @heirdollies @domfikeluva @miszes @eyesonlybutterflies @suhwife @yuniesluv @right-person-wrong-time @haechsworld @butterflywonz @leehsngs @ddolleri @multifandomlovers-posts @t1iqaa @itsactuallylina @bbsantc @sunghxxnie @mariwasneverthere @claumbeju @janjoonty @jvngw0nlvr @korikeu

© JUYEOZ

[munsonluhvr]

WAY BACK [Part 1]

synopsis: older/adult!Steve harrington x adult!reader. it's been nearly twenty years since you and your high-school sweetheart, Steve Harrington, broke up. As you've seemingly moved on, living your life, Steve has been stuck in 1986, the year of your breakup, and has mulled over every idea to get you back to him. When Steve stumbles across your MySpace page, posting that you're back in town, a series of events leads you to the reality of your relationship with Steve and if your love for each other is still viable after all these years. warnings: brief mention of sex, potentially more detailed in the future (tbd) and cursing. author's note: YOU GUYSSS, I'M BACK. I'm so SO sorry for my lengthy hiatus but I went through quite the rollercoaster this summer and then started my last semester of graduate school... however, I've finally been able to begin writing again and look forward to writing out this storyline as well as finish/wrap up other installments of other fics I've started but haven't finished <3 but! for now! I'm quite happy to present to you this y2k (my fav era) fic for you... ☆ part 2 coming soon...

[ Twenty Years Ago, 1986 ]

Steve runs his fingers through your hair, the sun reflecting off of your locks of hair, letting the strands slip through his fingers smoothly. You smiles faintly, glancing quickly at him before turning her eyes back to the pond that sits in front of them. You watch closely, yet slightly distracted by Steve’s gentle touches, as two swans dance across the water, as if they’re playing a game of tag. The skin on the side of your face, the apples of your cheeks, ignite as Steve’s blunt fingertips drag up and down. Your stomach is in knots, tense with anticipation of his next move. Steve is lost in his own thoughts, wondering how he got to lucky to be sitting with you, the heat of the sun keeping them warm against the chilly spring weather. All he could think about is how he wouldn’t let himself screw this up. 

You and Steve stand against the glowing lights of her porch, moths darting around them in the night’s sky. You stand close, chests almost touching, the only thing between you is the warm summer air that is thick and heavy – but this doesn’t keep you two apart, not nearly. Steve’s hand is on your wrist, this fingers gripping lightly around you. His lips itch for yours, his mouth needy to taste you, to know you beyond the boundaries he does now. His fingers begin to trail up your arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. His hand moves until he reaches your cheek, cupping his hand around your face. Your eyes watch as his eyes meet yours, drawing you in until you are fully consumed. You think about all the times you’ve laid across your bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering if Steve is thinking about you too – this is your salvation. Steve leans in closer, trying his best to ignore his heart beating against his chest, the blood rushing through his head. Your knees get weak, threatening to let you crumble against his touch, right on your front porch. ‘Kiss me,’ you thinks, ‘Consume me until there’s nothing left.’ Steve leans in as if he heard you, taking his confidence to push his mouth into yours, gently, letting your lips blend into one. 

“Bunny!” You squeal, your tongue sticking out between your lips to catch the ice cream that’s smeared across your mouth. He smiles, hearing the softness of your voice say the sweet nickname you gave him months ago. ‘This is heaven Steve thinks, feeling the coldness of his own ice cream dribbling down his cone and across his fingers. He doesn’t even mind the way his fingers will feel sticky in a few minutes, all he can do is watch your teeth flash between your plush lips, the way your cheeks begin to tint pink from laughter and the sun that shines down on where you sit on the curb in front of the ice cream shop. Steve watches as you look off into the distance, your eyes watching cars pass you by. Steve closes his eyes for a minute, his mind flashing to a few nights ago when you had spent time at his house in the evening. In his memory, you’re underneath him, the warmth of your skin drawing him closer and closer to you, the soft breaths that escape from your mouth. You are laid across his bed, in your underwear and a tank top, your arms circling around his shoulders, your legs fastening themselves around his waist, bringing him lower to your body. You lift your head, maneuvering to fit yourself into the crook of his neck, leaving light, gentle kisses in the process. Even now, in the current moment, Steve could feel the same intense burning in his loins that he had for you, the way he wanted to immerse himself in you and never pull away. Steve let’s his eyes open, and he returns to watching you watch the cars and contently lap away at your ice cream cone. He reaches out, unable contain the urge, and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, the pad of his thumb caressing your cheek bone. 

You and Steve stand on opposite sides of his bed in his room, the tension between you thick. You bites back tears, willing for a time machine to appear to allow this to end. Your fingertips dig into your palm, your frustration beginning to show. Steve clenches his jaw, not knowing how to best remedy this situation. “Talk to me, y/n.” Steve pleads, his mind whirling to a halt. He watches as you paces back and forth, your face in her hands. You whimper, missing the feeling of Steve’s arms around you already. You drops your hands from your face, wrapping them around yourself. “This isn’t going to work, Steve.” You whispers, your voice trembling with sadness. Steve’s room tilts, feeling as if he’s losing his balance. It’s then that he manages to get you to look at him and he notices the tears that collect in your eyes and the way they threaten to spill.

[ Now, 2006 ]

Steve sits in his leather cushioned reclining chair, using the lever on the side to kick out the footrest. He sighs as it goes back, his body relaxing for the first time that day. He chuckles to himself, thinking about what his father might say about possessing a reclining chair. He can almost hear his late father’s voice in the back of his mind, the overbearing deepness of his tone, the way he’d shake his head at his son owning something middle American owned – something he'd never be caught dead with in his own living room, not if he had anything to say about it. 

Steve shakes off the thought of his father and reaches over to his side table to collect the tv remote. He pushes the buttons until the tv flicks on, the colors of the gameshow that pops on filling the dimness of the room. Every night, Steve looks forward to numbing his brain with senseless tv programming, allowing himself to escape just for a little while until work calls him back into the real world in the morning. His life has quieted down throughout the years, going from his late teens and early twenties fighting monsters to spending most of his days alone. His friends have dispersed throughout the country, growing up and taking adult jobs, beginning their own lives – while Steve is still stuck in Hawkins, growing older every day. 

Steve gets bored of Wheel of Fortune and presses the remote button to flip through channels. He passes a Western themed movie, CNN, One Tree Hill, and he keeps clicking, finding nothing is appealing enough to watch, not enough to keep his mind occupied and distracted. Steve continues to click, and he passes an obscure romance movie, skips it, then backtracks, pressing the back button to return to the movie. He watches, the characters, male and female, are close, their lips nearly touching, their hands on each other’s faces. They whisper to each other, their eyelashes fluttering, their breath labored. Steve’s jaw clenches, and he begins to remember all too well. 

The memory of you is something Steve keeps hidden in his mind, most are thoughts he hardly has the stomach to touch and revisit. Steve learned early on in his life, because of you, that you can do anything and everything you can to move on, but the feeling of unfinished business will hold you back in time. 

Steve watches the movie intensely, losing himself momentarily. He watches the way the male character is drawn in by the female character, the way you can tell he’s losing himself in her minute by minute, second by second. He swallows, the memory of you beginning to creep forward in his brain. You are the only person Steve has witnessed himself get lost in, even twenty years later. He shakes his head, leaning over to pick up his beer that sits on his side table where the remote once sat. He takes several swigs, determined to will his brain into another direction. 

Steve leans back in his chair, noticing how his body has gone from relaxed to tense – the thought of you always has that effect. He stirs in his seat for several moments longer, blinking his thoughts away. His jaw clenches, and then all at once, he closes his eyes, leaning his head back and allows all the memories to flood back into his mind. It’s a sort of self-harm, really, Steve is sure of it. Thinking of you is his guilty pleasure, something he knows he shouldn’t be doing but does it anyway. Thinking of you is an action that feels good in the moment but hurts like hell afterwards. 

Oh, what Steve would do to be 19 again, holding your frame in between his arms. Steve remembers it all too well, the feeling of excitement bubbling in his stomach still as he remembers the thrill of sneaking into your bedroom or pulling you close to him, letting his lips decorate your face with soft kisses. The feeling he had with you, pure love, is something he’s never been able to replicate with anyone else, and trust, he’s tried.  

Steve has never been able to fully understand what drove you two apart, he was confident he would make you his wife someday. But overtime, it seemed you were slipping from his grip minute by minute, month by month, until it, seemingly, was too much for you to bear. It is true that Steve has attempted to replicate what he had with you but with other women. It ended with boredom or dissatisfaction; every girl was not you. Steve had been through too many women, it was getting embarrassing at his ripe age of forty, and he got tired of fucking women while imagining it was you underneath him or on top of him, and, subsequently, the women got bored with Steve trying to turn them into you. Every single one of his girlfriends pitied him, wishing for his own sake, and to spare every other female in Hawkins, that Steve would find his way back to you. 

It has been decades since Steve has seen you, the last real conversation being the night you broke up. He would catch glimpses of you for the next few years when you’d come back to town from college, visiting your parents or friends in Hawkins. Though, now it’s been over ten years since he’s seen you last – but he’s been keeping tabs on you. 

Steve is truly grateful for technological advancements, MySpace being a platform he thanks the heavens above each time he logs on and types your name in. Looking you up online is something he tries to do less and less every time, but he unabashedly fails, and it is no less than a weekly occurrence that he’s scrolling through your personalized page. Lucky for Steve, you’re quite active on MySpace, posting music clips and occasionally pictures, allowing Steve into what is now your life. It feels strange to Steve, seeing what you’re like now and how you’re so different then the 19- or 20-year-old version of yourself. He listens and then relistens to the music clips you post and when they’re romantic songs, he can’t help but wonder if the words are about him to you. 

Checking up on you through MySpace hasn’t always been pleasant. Steve has taken several punches to the gut when you’ve updated your profile, ‘In a Relationship,’ yet you never posted any more details than that. 

Steve’s fingers tingle and he can’t help but stand up abruptly from his chair and walk over to his desk where his large, clunky computer sits. He’s in auto-mode, his fingers already informed on what to do. Before he knows it, your profile is stretched across his computer screen. 

Your profile picture flashes up: a curious smile on your mouth as you stand amongst friends, arms slung around them, a beer in one of your hands. He scrolls down with his mouth, fingers jittery as Steve notices you’ve posted since the last time he’s looked. 

“Glad to be back home, been a long time coming!” The caption reads, accompanied by a photo of you standing in Hawkins’ town square, hands up in the air above your head, a big smile on your face. Posted: 3 hours ago. 

Steve gulps, all his breath catching in his throat. “Fuck,” Steve whispers to himself, putting a hand to his forehead. Steve scrolls back up quickly, unable to face a current picture of you. In Hawkins. Right now. Steve clicks the search bar, hitting enter to refresh the page. It takes a second, but your MySpace page reloads, a brand-new picture popping up this time. Steve jams his pointer finger onto the mouse cursor, scrolling down to see the new post. 

“Look who I’m with at Hawkins Bar and Billiards…” A picture with Nancy and Jonathan Byers, the three of your heads crammed into a small picture, grins on your faces. Posted 13 seconds ago. 

Steve suddenly feels like passing out, his large house suddenly feeling small and suffocating.  Steve’s hands clench as he fights back the urge to get in his car and go to Hawkins Bar, it’s only a three-minute drive from his house in which he frequents often. What would he even say to you? It’s been so long, he’s not even sure what he would have to stay. 

Steve sits for a moment, chewing at his bottom lip as he thinks. What would seeing you do to him after thinking about you for the last twenty years and virtually checking up on you for the last ten years? What would you think of him after twenty years? He takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm in his mind. 

After several more minute of contemplation, Steve recognizing that he’d spend the rest of the night thinking about what you’re doing or what you’re talking about, he decided he’d swing by the bar. Just because he was going to leave the house doesn’t mean he’d actually have to go in or walk up to you. He could do a drive-by, attempting to see you through the window, or go in and sit at another table, just checking up on you to make sure you’re doing okay. In all honestly, Steve doesn’t know what he was going to do, all he wants is to be near you once again. 

Standing up from his seat, he dashes towards his front door, grabbing his car keys and coat off the miniature hangers besides the door. Steve opens the front door, the rush of crisp autumn air blowing him back slightly. He slips his coat on, tightening it around his frame as he walks towards his car. His fingers jitter with excitement? Nerves? Steve is too frazzled to analyze his movements or feelings as he normally does. 

Once he gets into his car, Steve turns the ignition on, letting it rubble. With precision, he backs his vehicle up, beginning to point it towards the bar. 

Steve’s stomach is in knots, as he drives towards the bar, unsure of what he’s going to be met with once he arrives. Does he go in? Stay outside? Go up to you or stay away? Steve takes one hand off the steering wheel, digging his thumb into his temple as he rubs away at the brewing headache. 

The ride over to the bar is quick, only down a few blocks from where he lives. In any other circumstance, Steve appreciates his home being in close proximity to the bar but now he wishes it was on the other side of town to allow for him to process just what in the hell he was doing. 

He approaches the bar, slowing his BMW down to attempt to peer into the glass windows of the bar, though he can’t catch a glimpse of you from the road. He puts his blinker on, turning into the parking lot that abuts the bar. He scans the parking lot looking for a spot while wondering which car is yours. He smiles to himself thinking about how knowing you wanted a Volkswagen beetle was one of the first facts he logged away about you in his brain. At 19, he foolishly thought he would buy you a brand new one for one of your birthdays when you and he were married and had established careers. He always could imagine the way your face would light up when he would hand you the keys. His heart breaks, now, thinking about how he was never able to do that for you. 

He turns his car off, taking one last deep breath before he opens his car door. As he gets out of his car, he thinks how foolish he is to be here, potentially going up to you, for what? To rekindle a two-decade old flame that might not be mutual? In that moment, Steve thinks it’s best for him to go home but something inside of him pushes his feet towards the bar’s entrance and suddenly his hand is on the door handle. 

He gulps once, twice, and he pushes the door inwards, and he steps inside. 

The bar isn’t particularly packed tonight, though Steve thinks he can hide himself away in a corner behind other groups of people if he chooses to do so. Though, without warning, Steve’s eyes land on yours, yours on his. The pit in Steve’s stomach expands and he’s positive he’s going to puke. You look just as you did, as if no time has passed and you’re both still 19, nearly 20. 

Your face shows that you know it’s Steve and he wishes he could jump into your mind, even for a moment, and know exactly what you’re thinking. Does he still look the same? Do you want to kiss him like he wants to kiss you? To taste your mouth and see if it’s still the intoxicating flavor he was addicted to way back. 

Steve is tempted to turn on his heel, high tailing it out to his car where he would speed the short drive back home. But he’s stuck in time, frozen, as if he were a deer in the headlights, in where he stands. 

He watches as your mouth opens and closes, your eyes widening by the second. Who looks like Nancy is sitting in front of you, back to Steve, completely unaware that he’s walked in, and this is the first time you and Steve have seen each other in almost 20 years. Nancy is talking quickly, unaware your attention is focused elsewhere but she must say something intriguing as you let your eyes go from Steve back to Nancy. 

Steve inhales, feeling like he can move now that your gaze is off of him, and he darts to the back of the bar and seats himself at a high-table, contemplating what he is to do now. 

[maliciouslove]

𝕀𝕞𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕐𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨

ʚ pairing ɞ  stepbrother!denki kaminari x reader

NSFW, dark content, aged up characters (21+)

ʚ word count ɞ 4.7k

ʚ summary ɞ having a step brother isn’t easy, especially if he is as fun and good looking as yours. you always got along just fine, but some very depraved and dark corner of your mind always forced you to look at him different, to imagine things that were taboo—to touch yourself while thinking of him. so when you had to crash at his place for a couple of days while your apartment was being fumigated, things escalated rather fast. i mean, it’s fine if it doesn’t go in, right?

ʚ tags ɞ mention of death (reader’s mother), tw stepcest, tw dubcon, masturbation, tw voyeurism, oral (f!receiving), tw spit, pussyjob, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, breeding, recording, blackmail

Most people say that having a parent remarry and having step-siblings is awful. You, however, don't see it that way.

Despite the devastation of losing your mother at a young age, you were grateful to your father for stepping up and taking care of you with everything he had after your mother's passing. You were 4 at the time, and things didn’t quite make sense until you got older—but with time, the more you matured, the more you came to terms with the situation. The older you got, the better you understood how much of a super dad you actually had—on the one hand, he always prioritized you, gave you everything he could and made sure that you didn’t miss out on anything, partially spoiling his little girl. On the other hand, he also chose to be very honest with you and talk to you about difficult topics instead of shying away from them. Therefore, you were able to understand what happened to your mother and were fully supported while working through the grief.

For all this, you were truly grateful to your dad, though, there came a time where you became aware of all the sacrifices that he had made for your sake as well. Turns out, that he avoided dating anyone else for the longest of times, resulting in you having to actually push him into pursuing romance and give him your slightly aggressive blessing.

"Dad, it's just a date." You roll your eyes at him.

"It feels like I'm betraying your mother, our family."

"Dad," you hold his gaze firmly. "Mom is gone. I'm in high school. And you deserve to be happy! Get out there, have some fun!" You push him forcefully out the front door and fix the collar of his shirt. "Don't be home too late, I’ll leave you some lasagna in the fridge. Now go!"

And when he found someone that made him happy, someone that made his worries go away, you were nothing but supportive. She was gorgeous and smart and had witty remarks that made you laugh, so you accepted her into your life. However, she also had a son, the same age as you—a tall and lanky boy named Denki Kaminari.

The first time you met him it was awkward, you were both 18—just about to graduate from high school, you were shy and quiet and he was just all over the place, bouncing with energy. But you found common ground, talking about games and anime, so you became friends rather quickly, progressively spending more and more time together. You’ve always been an honest person so denying that you thought he was handsome was pointless—fluffy blonde hair and amber eyes that turn gold in the sunlight, he had a very intoxicating smile, and most importantly of all—he made you laugh. But he was your dad’s girlfriend’s son, so he was—in all ways possible—off limits to you. Therefore you were content just admiring him from afar.

Sometimes, you stared a bit too much, making up scenarios in your head before bedtime, turning off all the lights before you push your panties aside, ashamed that it's him you’re thinking about.

And here you were, two years later walking your respective parents down the aisle, grinning at each other and testing out how it feels to refer to each other as brother and sister.

"Okay little sis, shall we hit the open bar, get wasted and embarrass our parents?"

"Totally, big brother," you winked at him and his face turned red at a comically fast pace.

"Okay, how about we drop the sis ‘n bro stuff? Feels weird."

"Does it now, big brother?" you bat your eyelashes at him, a seductive smile plastered on your lips. All Denki can manage is a dramatic groan in response, walking away quickly, hearing you cackle as the distance between you two grew larger.

He might be off limits, even more so now that he was your step brother, but you still enjoyed making him flustered. The perk of it was that it was extremely easy to do so—blow some air on his nape, trace a finger along his jawline and he’s ready to turn into a puddle on the floor.

And you did this within limits. Of course.

Your parents were happy that the both of you got along so well, and even happier when you both got accepted into the same college, living in the same city. Although you studied different courses, rarely seeing each other on campus, you did occasionally go to parties together, Denki making sure to get your drunk ass back home safely every time. He was kind and dependent and always had your back.

Even more so when you had discovered that your suspiciously cheap rental apartment was infested with termites, having to be fully fumigated, and you had to ask your step brother if you could crash at his place for a couple of days.

“Of course!” his voice sounded chipper over the phone. “We’re so totally having a Marvel marathon, I am not taking no for an answer, pack your shit and come over, I’ll have nachos ready in 30 minutes.”

The line went silent as he hung up and you found yourself smiling at his enthusiasm. A voice at the back of your head told you he’d be such a fine boyfriend—if he wasn’t your step brother.

Yet, you allowed yourself a few minutes of imagining what kind of dates he would take you on—arcade dates, bringing you to museums so he can narrate over the audio guide with absolute nonsense and making some lame joke about van Gogh and George Weasly and ‘hole-y’. You shake your head as if to purge the thoughts and you get on with packing your essentials for the next couple of days.

You stare at your underwear drawer and contemplate. Would it be weird if you pick the sexiest lingerie you own... just to stay at your step brother's place for a few days? Totally not.

“Self-care.” You say to yourself as you take out several lacy thongs and bralettes that match, carefully placing them in your suitcase. You just like wearing nice underwear, what’s the big deal? It’s only for you to see anyway.

Right?

Happy with the items you’ve packed, double checking if you’ve got your toothbrush and all your chargers— you take a deep breath and vacate your apartment, heading over to Denki’s.

“We should’ve just gotten an apartment together, it would’ve been so much cheaper and nicer.” Denki whined as he helped you carry your suitcase up the stairs, as his building had no elevator.

“So what I’m hearing is you want to see my pretty face every day, correct?” you smirked, noticing the barely visible butt clench he did upon hearing your words, at which you chuckled. “Honestly, you’d get sick of me in about a week so be glad we don’t live together.”

He grumbles something you can't understand under his breath and you allow him to move on from the topic.

The first night in his apartment goes well—you have dinner together and then proceed with a quiet movie night. Snuggled together under a fuzzy blanket, the light of the TV was illuminating Denki’s face, showing off his best features—playful amber eyes, devilish smile and a sharp jawline. You spent more time looking at said face and judging the softness of his blonde locks, rather than looking at whatever movie he put on for you.

The realization that you haven’t gotten laid for a few months now and that your step brother is awfully handsome makes you feel a certain way, insides knotting up and devious thoughts plaguing your mind.

Mindlessly, you place your hand on his thigh under the blanket and you feel his body immediately tense up under your touch. Kaminari tries to play it off cool, like nothing has happened, keeping his gaze fixed on the screen.

So that’s how you wanna play, hm?

Your hand travels up and down his thigh, caressing it, squeezing it every once in a while and slowly but surely going further up with each stroke. At the same time you maintain a blank façade, pretending to be fully focused on the movie.

Once your hand starts getting dangerously close to his now semi-hard cock, Denki lets out a fake cough and gets up under the pretense of getting ice cream and some new drinks. Your eyes follow his frame as he exits the room almost skittishly and the dangerous thoughts make you lick your lips in excitement.

He’d look very cute broken and torn up over experiencing sexual desire towards his little step sister.

A plan begins forming in your head.

You spend the rest of the evening making Denki’s temperature rise and his ears turn red with embarrassment—a subtle press of your tits against his arm when you cling to it, removing stray hairs from his face with a gentle hand, accidentally tracing his jawline with your finger, keeping his gaze just a tad longer than appropriate.

Meanwhile, Kaminari continues shifting uncomfortably in his seat, trying to find a pose that would allow him to hide how turned on he is, purposefully avoiding looking down your cleavage or observing how your shorts were riding up your thighs, revealing more plush skin that he wanted to sink his teeth into.

You don’t push too far though, you still had a couple of more days staying at his place, plenty of time to make your plan come to fruition. The movie comes to an end and you both decide to call it a night—you kiss his cheek and thank him again for allowing you to stay over, wishing him a good night and heading over to the guest bedroom where you were staying. His own room was right next door and you begin wondering how thin the walls really are.

Removing your clothes and kicking your panties aside, you make yourself comfortable on the bed and slide your hands down your torso, imagining how much bigger Denki’s would be, warmer than your own, eager.

Your mind conjures images of your step brother losing himself under you as you hover over his face, tongue lapping at your core like a starved man, staring up at you with those intoxicating cat-like amber eyes. Cupping your breast, a low moan escapes your lips as your other hand glides between your legs, humming with approval of how wet you are because of your step brother.

You touch yourself, rolling your nipples between your thumb and index finger, drawing circles on your clit and letting your mind relish in all the taboo things you want to do with Denki, paying less and less attention to the needy sounds bouncing off of the walls, yet hoping that they reach Denki’s ears.

And they do—in the other room Denki has his ear pressed to the wall, already fumbling with the zipper of his pants, his face so red and hot because he knows how wrong this is. You’re his little sister, not by blood, but you were family, and God, you were still incredibly gorgeous and just his type.

He had put so much effort over the years into not being a creep, not watching your ass as you walk away or blatantly staring at your tits. He had learned to be subtle, to be unnoticeable, to steal glances and satisfy himself by just imagining your lips around his cock—just that, nothing more.

But now, having you in his apartment, being surrounded by the scent of your perfume mixed with the coconut-scented shampoo you use—he was losing his mind. You’d been so much more touchy than usual this evening and your hand on his thigh made him feel dirty, so here he was now, listening in on you, knowing full well what you were doing and how incredibly wrong this was, invading your privacy and taking advantage of it, but he couldn’t help it.

Lip tucked between his teeth to keep quiet, he spits onto his palm and spreads his saliva over his cock, slowly fucking into his fist, trying to match your pace he was trying to guess from the cute whines he could hear. He imagined you spreading your pussy for him, beckoning him to take advantage of you, calling him ‘big brother’ in that seductive voice of yours that could drive him mad. Hearing you panting louder, breath uneven and needy, he allows himself to go faster, now picturing himself pushing his cock into your tight little hole, imagining his cum leaking out of you and just like that, faster than he’s ever experienced, he came in his hand shooting thick ropes of cum onto his knuckles and pillow, his heart threatening to leave his chest cavity.

The post-nut clarity hits him and Denki is plagued with shame and guilt, quickly removing his pillowcase and bedsheets and tossing them to the side, replacing the old one with new clean ones while mentally berating himself, feeling disgusted with his own actions.

He no longer hears you moaning in the other room, the sweet sound dying down and feels  relieved, shoving his face into the freshly changed pillow and trying not to scream at himself. It felt like he had committed a crime, a sin of some sort, his own guilty conscience not allowing  him to get much sleep, forcing Kaminari to toss and turn for the most part of the night, shaking his head as if trying to push away the thoughts of your breasts in his mouth out of his mind by force.

The next day, he seems to be the same, shoulders sagged with guilt, barely managing to look you in the eye during breakfast. Both of you had classes, so you drive to campus together and Denki, happy to have a distraction from his lewd thoughts about his own step sister.

You on the other hand keep your focus on your plan the entire day, not paying attention to a single lecture, forgetting to even eat lunch—completely consumed by your desire to have your step brother snap.

You had it all figured out—with your classes finishing earlier than Kaminari’s, you could head home before him and use the spare key he gave you to prepare for his return. You knew your brother was very curious, not a doubt in your mind that he would seek you out when he got in and you hoped that what he found would be enough to make Denki lose control.

And to no surprise, everything goes exactly according to your vision. You shower and put on some of that pretty lingerie you had brought with you, leaving the door to your room slightly cracked open, whilst entertaining yourself until the target audience for your little performance had returned home.

You’re lying on the bed—face down, ass up when you hear the front door open, the sound making you quiver with excitement, heart beating even faster as his footsteps approach, the fingers playing with your clit speeding up, your arousal dribbling down your thighs in fat droplets

The house was suspiciously quiet, leading Denki to believe you hadn’t gotten back yet. He’d kicked his shoes off to the side, tossing his bag onto the couch before heading towards his room with the intention to shed off his outside clothes and switch into something more comfortable. That didn’t end up being the case. Noticing that the door to your room was ajar, he takes a quick glance through the crack, freezing in his tracks as his sunshine eyes fixate on your drooling cunt, clenching around nothing, your arousal soaked fingers toying with your puffy folds. In this position you can’t see him, so Kaminari basks in the sight for a few moments to enjoy this, to memorize it and engrave the image of your cute cunt into his mind—trying hard to ignore the raging boner in his pants.

Kaminari gulps, feeling as if there’s a massive lump in his throat, right hand absentmindedly adjusting his now hard cock.

“Denks,” your needy voice shocks him out of his trance. “Please...”

His brain short circuits.

Time feels frozen, the noise of the outside world fading into nothing and the sound of his heartbeat ringing in his head deafeningly loud.

His name just left your mouth.

You said his name. You begged for him.

Once more, Kaminari hears his name, watching you arch your back even more, spreading your legs further and sinking down onto the bed while begging for him incoherently.

Denki sits there, motionless, watching his little step sister cumming hard, making a mess on the bed sheets while chanting his name.

For many years, his sanity and patience were tested—like a string tightly pulled back. In this single moment as he watched his step sister shake in the aftermath of her orgasm, that string finally snapped.

He opens the door, slowly at first and then in two short strides he’s behind you, pulling you up by the hair, pressing your back to his chest and breathing hard down your neck.

“You’re a fucking tease, you know that little sis?” Inhaling in your scent, the blonde holds you tight against him, tugging on your hair again to force you to look up at the ceiling—knowing he wouldn’t be able to have any self-restraint if he looked into your eyes.

“Moaning my name as you cum? You want your big brother that badly, hm?” His throbbing  shaft presses against your ass, still clad in jeans, but you could feel it through the fabric.

You shut your eyes in embarrassment but don’t attempt to escape his grip, the lack of response to his question makes Denki even more impatient.

“Answer.” he growls in your ear.

“Y-Yes,” your voice comes out uneven. “I w-want my stepbrother, please.”

Your eyes stay tightly shut but your body gives your reaction away—shaking with anticipation and excitement, feeling your juices begin to slide between your folds again.

“Didn’t think you were this sick in the head, but who am I to refuse my precious little sister, huh?” You can't see his face but you can hear the sinister smile,  feel how thrilled he is by the way his grip on you tightens. Suddenly, Kaminari’s pushing your head back down onto the mattress, crouching down to take a good look at your glistening wet cunt. Your little pleasure nub looks so cute and swollen he can't help himself by giving it an experimental lick, appreciating the way your body tenses. So he does it again and again—paying good attention to your needy bud, kissing and lightly sucking on it, mapping out how you react to each movement.

You drip like sweet honey onto Denki’s tongue, showering him in lustful mewls and needy grinds against his face, tiny fists balling the sheets when he slips his tongue inside your needy hole. He eats you out like a man starving, holding your hips steadily in place. Your big brother loves the way your thighs tremble and your breath is uneven and he is determined to get you to cum on his tongue, he needs it.

And it doesn’t take long for your slick to overflow from your body, the thought alone that your step brother’s chin was shining with your mess was enough to make you melt into a puddle, the taboo aspect of what you were doing pushing you over the edge too quickly.

With a silent cry, you cum hard, pressing yourself against Kaminari’s face, a trickle of drool sliding down your own chin as your eyes roll back from pleasure so intense, your senses become overloaded for a moment that all you see is white.

Before you come back down from your high and your soul returns to its body, Denki has managed to kick aside his jeans and boxers, knees digging into the edge of the mattress and his leaking cock glides between your sticky folds.

For a split second an uneasy feeling captures your heart in an icy grip.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay if it doesn’t go in, right little sis?” the blonde’s voice is thickly coated with smugness, with a sense of toxicity that should be so incredibly off-putting, yet it makes your insides twist with desire.

Two orgasms in, and your head starts to feel fuzzy, the heat emanating from his length rubbing against your slit making you feel like you have one foot off of the edge of insanity. You circle  your ass against his dick, desperate and teary-eyed, pleading and chanting his name like it’s a prayer, enjoying the friction of your step brother’s mushroom cockhead against your sensitive clit.

His hands explore the expanse of your body, following the curves and dips of your hips, squeezing the doughy skin on your hips. Denki was greedily taking in every weak sigh you let out and every shudder you respond with, basking in the knowledge that he’s the one making his little sister drip down on his girth, oozing into the sheets and making a mess of them.  You feel the heat rising inside you, knots forming in the pit of your stomach, the madness creeping further across your brain with the sound of Denki’s filthy words in your ear. The sound of his dick slipping back and forth on your wet cunt. Everything is so obscene, even the scent of him is working you up more, the knots twisting tighter.

You crave more.

You shouldn’t.

Denki—he’s your step brother there would be so many consequences, so many drawbacks of your current situation.

But consequences be damned, because the vein on the underside of his shaft feels so good against your sensitive clit, so much so that your brain throws all logic and reason out the window.

Denki is nearly as desperate as you are, and he gripes and grunts loudly—so close to release, just from the wetness of your pretty pussy engulfing him. So when you lift your hips up and angle them against the head of his girth, pushing past your entrance with ease—he nearly loses it.

The softness and warmth of your cunt wrapping around his cock makes him feel like his soul is ascending to high heavens, eyes rolling back in his skull and body shaking in ecstasy with every inch of him that you take until he’s fully sheathed in you, balls laying flat against your swollen pleasure nub.

You don’t give him time to prepare, to react even—slamming your hips back against his as quickly as your body can handle, yearning for that the feeling of the tip of his dick reaching deep inside of you and helping the pressure build even faster.

Cock drunk and cross-eyed, absolutely debauched and unashamed, your body forces out another orgasm, causing your muscles to spasm with a string of curses leaving your pretty lips as your soft walls clamp down on the blonde’s dick.

Denki sees stars, the only thought crossing his mind in that moment being that he will never have pussy this good ever again—so snug against him, pulsing violently around his length, selfishly sucking him in deeper. And with that singular thought, your step brother decides to fuck you stupid, make you feel the exact same way he does—like nothing would ever be good enough again.

Snapping out of the trance your perfect pussy has put him in, he props up a leg on the bed, pulling his length out of your heat and marveling at the way your cunt gleams luxuriously with the crude mix of his precum and your erotic juices, clenching and spasming around nothing. You whimper, but before you can clearly state your protest, Kaminari spits on your raw and abused mound, slamming his entire length into you once more, with only a single motion, setting a meteoric pace—spreading your ass cheeks apart so he can fuck into you harder.

Forgetting all his previous misgivings about fucking his little sister, Denki gives into his carnal desire and takes everything he can from you. A thumb now collecting the arousal from between your legs and using it as lubrication to toy with your pert ass, slowly pushing in the digit into you  as you become impossibly tighter around him.

“One more time—I need to feel you cum around my cock one more time, sis,” Angling his hips to hit your sweet spot with every thrust, Denki practically makes you scream out his name, the blistering heat of his cockhead kissing your cervix repeatedly, leaving your brain absolutely scrambled.

You don’t even think it’s possible for you to cum again, but the telltale signs of your impending orgasm are there. However, it feels different this time, as if there’s some sort of pressure bubbling up inside you—like a volcano ready to erupt. A string of pleas leave your wet lips, not really knowing what you’re begging for but Denki understands—maintaining the same angle and rhythm, he sneaks a hand around your torso to rub gentle circles over your puffy clit, the action pushing you over the edge.

With a loud cry, you tense up around him so hard that he has to pull out, clear liquid gushing from your aching cunt as you squirt onto the bed and taint Kaminari’s golden skin, body shaking violently with tears streaming down your face until you’re overwhelmed by the feeling. The view of your pussy gushing and squirting is so enticing, but Denki is too greedy to allow you time to calm down, grabbing your hips and propping you up, lining his tip with your sopping entrance  again and drilling into you at a ravenous pace.

You’re too sensitive, too sore, even—but he holds you firm against his chest, a hand around your throat, slightly restricting your breathing and keeping you from protesting while the blonde  chases down his own release.

“ ‘m not fucking pulling out,” he growls into the shell of your ear, a cruel smile twitching at the corners of his lips. Kaminari’s words make you clamp down greedily on him, body instinctively trying to milk him for all he’s worth.

A couple more ruthless thrusts of his cock deep into your abused little pussy and he’s thrown over the edge, balls tightening and thick cum spilling deep into your womb—there’s so much of it, too much, to the point where it’s leaking out of your hole before he’s even pulled out. Your insides are burning hot with his seed and you can’t even be bothered to remind yourself if you’re on birth control or not, too fucked out to be able to conjure up a coherent thought.

Slowly pulling away, the tall blonde stares at your pink puffy pussy, thick cum oozing out in globs and dripping down your thighs—he collects the sticky substance with two fingers and promptly pushes the digits past your soft lips.

“Nasty little step sister, if I had known you were this slutty and desperate, I wouldn’t have spent countless nights fucking my fist—I would’ve fucked this pretty pussy of yours instead.” He taps the two digits that were in your mouth against your clit and your body jolts.

He moves away from the bed, grabbing something from your desk that you can’t see, still trying to collect yourself. Before you even had the chance to ask what it was, your step brother shows you his phone, the screen showing you a replay of what had just happened minutes before—a video of Denki fucking into you with no sound.

“Y-You recorded that?” the panic sobers you up as you quickly rise from the bed and try to take the phone from him.

But Kaminari’s much faster.

“Of course.” The corners of his lips turn upwards but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. His body language shifts as he leans down, eyes raking over your naked, soiled body, a cool and foreboding aura seeping into the room, sneaking up on you. “Leverage, step sis.”

The words feel icy, goosebumps rising on your skin—with you barely recognizing the amber eyes looking down at you.

It was twisted, it was wrong, but one way or another—Denki Kaminari will keep you all to himself. 

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑! I do not own any of the characters or people mentioned in my work. these are works of pure fiction that do not reflect the views, opinions, or actions of any person, real or fictional. Furthermore, all characters I write for [thirsts, drabbles, fics, etc.] are aged up to 21 or older – they are adults with adult characteristics presented and written in adult contexts.

all rights reserved © by maliciouslove. my work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. all fanfics belong to me, please do not copy, translate nor repost the fics or files seen above as this is strictly prohibited.

[enwrites]

Summer Lovin' (l.hs) – Part One

pairing: ex childhood friend!heeseung x afab!reader 

warning: 18+ MDNI !! (not really proofread so sorry for mistakes)

genre/cw: smut, sexual tension, degradation, fingering, male masturbation, vulgar language, suppressed emotions, asshole!heeseung, very slight basketballplayer!heeseung here, crack, slow burn kinda, jealousy, angst, teen romance, slice of life, you cry a lot, heeseung is very annoying, lots of throwing up is mentioned, enha members (02z & sunoo), aespa members (karina & ningning), mentions of beomgyu txt

synopsis: you and heeseung were super close as kids. being the same age and your parents being best friends, you had no other choice but to be each other’s best friends as well. that was until heeseung’s family moved to another town causing a rift to get in between the both of you. never being able to fully recover from the past, what happens when they move back and old feelings start to emerge? you just knew this was going to be a long summer.

wc: 13.2k words

a/n: part one is officially here!! this was just mainly a build up for the story so i apologize if it's a little lacking. part two will def have more to it and juicier smut so pls bare with me! i still hope part one is still enjoyable <3 happy reading and again, all feedback is appreciated :) (+ lmk if you'd like to be added to my taglist for this fic or my perm!)

[ series m.list ] [ main m.list ] [ part two ]

You let out a sigh of content.

Having just graduated, your senior year finally came to an end. Your last summer before college has just started. Bittersweet feelings linger in your heart as you realize your highschool chapter is over. Scrolling through your camera roll, you reminisce on old memories and experiences. Giggling to yourself finding pictures you had thought you forgot about. Most captured you and your three best friends. Karina, Ningning, and Sunoo.

The four of you have done just about everything together and you couldn’t wait to get your summer rolling, especially as Sunoo wouldn’t be joining you guys in college just yet. You cursed at the world, he was just a year younger than you all. It wasn’t like you guys were going to be separated anyways, he was your next door neighbor, his family having moved in right after Heeseung’s family left. 

Heeseung… your mind starts to fill up with childhood memories. You couldn’t help but wonder how he was and what he was doing. You turn your head to the side. There on your nightstand sat a hello kitty framed picture of you and Heeseung at the town’s fair. You picked it up, holding it in your hands as you reminisced on your younger days. The two of you being shy of 12 years old, the summer before he left. The picture showcasing the two of you plastered with huge smiles eating funnel cake. You giggle a bit thinking about the events that occurred that day. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to one specific moment.

For some reason both of your parents allowed you two to ride the ferris wheel alone. Your face falls a bit as you start to remember. You wish things had never changed then maybe Heeseung would still be as close to you… maybe he would’ve kept his promise like he said.

“We’ll wait right here for you guys, okay?” Your mom says, ushering you both to the ferris wheel line. Excited bubbled inside the both of you as you two finally were getting to spend a ride alone without having a parent chaperone. Hearty laughs leave the both of you as you enter the ride, sitting across from one another. The sun was finally setting, leaving a sun kissed color in its path. You knew you’d remember this forever.

“The sky is so pretty Hee!” You excitedly said, taking the disposable camera your parents had bought you out of your little hello kitty purse, capturing the sky from your view. Heeseung watched you with so much adoration. He couldn’t help but smile at your actions, loving every second he spent with you. After getting your little picture, you put the camera back into your bag and turn to look at him, a smile permanently etched onto your face as well. 

“Yeah— just like you,” Heeseung bluntly says, eyes never leaving yours. Your face starts to heat up and you look away from him. You had always had a crush on Heeseung, everyone knew that. Your heart pounds against your chest, you want to throw up everywhere. What you didn’t realize was that everyone also knew how much Heeseung liked you. Your little puppy love could be seen and felt from miles away. “I like you Y/n,” he continues, breaking the tension.

“I like you too Hee–,” he cuts you off. “No I really like you Y/n,” he sternly said, leaning into you. Even being across from one another, you felt suffocated, the ferris wheel capsule was extremely small you noticed. You wanted to run away. this had to be a dream right? 

“I do too Hee,” you whispered back at him. The ride comes to a halt, you were at the very top. Your face red as can be, you were waiting for him to laugh saying this was all a joke. But he didn’t. He leans in even closer and that’s when you felt it. He took your first kiss. Your eyes went wide. For a moment you felt like you were floating amongst the stars. He pulls away, giggling at your reaction as a blush painted his face as well.

“We are going to be together forever Y/n, I promise and I'm going to marry you! And we’re going to have a big house and our very own hamster and even a cat! I know you really love cats but I really want a hamster!” he rambled holding your hands as his eyes never left yours again. Your heart was so full you felt like you were going to explode from joy. At that time, it was you and him against the world. 

Forever you had hoped. Small tears formed as you remember the day he moved. Forever was long gone. You wish the world had helped Heeseung keep his promise. The heart shattering memory played in your head. You have tried for years to forget. But can anyone really forget their first love?

“D-Do you really have to go Hee…,” you choked out as tears fell down your face. Your parents gave you both some time to say goodbye to one another as they packed the last of the Lee’s things into their moving truck. The tears kept falling and falling. He reached his hand to your face, wiping them away. His heart shattered that day, he didn’t think his parents were serious. But slowly things were being packed up until this very day and he knew he had to say goodbye eventually.

“I’m sorry Y/n… I have no choice… please don’t cry,” he says to you, your sobs intensify. It was his time to cry as well, tears fell from his eyes as he watched you, this was never a sight he enjoyed. 

“We’ll call all the time, okay? I’ll make sure we do, remember what I said Y/n! I’m going to marry you!” he choked out. “We’ll be like Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel Y/n… I promise, I’ll make sure my parents let us visit, okay?” he rambled on more. Pulling you into a tight hug, he let you cry on him as he wiped his tears away, holding you one last time. You didn’t know it was going to be the last time. You pull away, wiping away your snot and tears. 

“I-I have something for you,” you stuttered, feeling overwhelmed as you pull out a little charm and a tiny picture of the two of you. Before you could say anything, the two of you were cut off as Heeseung’s mother spoke up, letting you two know they had to leave in a few minutes. Your tears always came rushing back but you held them in. You hand him the picture and a charm. A small smile crept its way to his face. There in your hands was a tiny little hamster charm accompanied by a pocket sized photo of the two of you from the ferris wheel, giggling as he remembered how you guys attempted to try and take photos together with your little camera, hoping the pictures came out well.

“I have a matching one!” you said, pulling out another hamster charm except yours pink and his gray. He pulls you into another tight hug, never wanting it to end. 

“Don’t forget me Hee…,” you sadly uttered, his heart breaking right there and then. How could he forget you? 

“I’ll never forget you Y/n, I mean everything I said!” He pulled you away giving you a stern look. You give him a weak smile, your heart feeling like it was never going to feel better.

“Just promise me Hee,” you softly spoke, sticking your pinky out. “I promise Y/n,” he links his pinky with yours, the two of you pressing your thumbs together, solidifying it. And with that, the two of you make your way to his driveway, as your parents called for the both of you. Your families say their last goodbye, promising to keep in contact and to visit. With one last final hug goodbye, they make their way into the truck. Pulling out of what was once their driveway and onto the road, Heeseung waved goodbye from the window up until the truck was out of sight.

You broke down. Your parents consoling you as your never ending tears kept falling down your face. You never really knew what heartbreak really felt like but you knew for damn sure this had got to be it. There you were, inconsolable as your first love headed away for a new town.

You didn’t realize how badly you were really crying. Puddles of tears trickled all onto the frame you held. No promise was kept as the months went by and your contact slowly started to dwindle. The Lee's getting too busy with business trips and Heeseung making new friends and joining so many after school clubs. The Lee’s never visited since then. Your mother telling you they just had a lot on their plate and that they’d make time eventually. 

That was when the silence came.

Heeseung eventually stopped calling. The fantasy of that little house of yours being taken away by a tornado, forever ripped apart and shattered. The only time you heard or saw anything having to do with him was the year you got gifted your very first phone at the start of freshman year. Your mother had reached out to the Lee’s to give them your phone number. He added you on snapchat from his contacts, never once even starting a conversation with you. You never dared to attempt as well. Too many days had passed and you just couldn’t bring yourself to it. You were just glad to see he was alive and well, even if he never used the app. He never posted anything. Hell, he watched your stories for a week and abandoned the app, never once seeing him appear again.

Before you could get deeper into your thoughts and feelings, there was a knock at your bedroom door. 

“Y/n~ are you up yet? Your mom told me to come up here,” you heard a voice from outside your door speak. Sunoo. You sniffled and wiped all your tears away as best as you could, setting the little frame back to its rightful place beside your bed. “Y-yeah I’m up!” you yelled back, hoping you didn’t look as bad as you thought you did. Sunoo opens your door, taken aback by your red puffy face and eyes. 

“Were you thinking about him again?” He softly asked, joining you in your bed giving you a sad frown. He knew about Heeseung, you practically made his life a living hell the day his family moved in next door yelling nonsense about how he will never be Heeseung. He knew how much he meant to you and oftentimes he’d catch you looking at old photos with tear stained eyes. No matter how many boys you kissed and dated, you just never seemed to be able to move on. He was gonna fix that for you this summer. No more crying over Heeseung. Sunoo was on a mission now.

“Maybe…,” you weakly said followed by a sniffle. You were embarrassed to say the least. You hated how he had this effect on you. No matter how many boys you’ve been with, Heeseung was over there in the back of your mind. Even the time you lost your virginity to the school’s hottest boy Beomgyu, you couldn’t help but secretly wish it was always Heeseung. It was sickening and you knew he didn’t care for you anymore but for some reason you couldn't get him out of your head. You tried your best to suppress your feelings but you knew it was always going to be there. 

Sunoo groaned, throwing his head back, tired of seeing you this way. He hated seeing you sad and he especially hated seeing you hung up over some boy you liked as a kid. You were grown now and he was going to make you get out there and forget about Heeseung. 

“Y/n this is your last summer before college, we have got to get some new eye candy,” Sunoo says into your face, shaking you dramatically. “You have got to get over this dude Y/n! It’s been five years! YOU WERE A KID,” He exclaims, rolling his eyes. You sighed, hanging your head low. Sunoo had a point. You have got to try harder.

“You’re right…,” you let out. Putting his hand on his chest with a shocked expression plastered onto his face, he looked at you with his mouth hung open. No way you were finally agreeing with him on this matter.

“I’m gonna take this as a sign to completely come to the conclusion that we will never see each other again,” you glumly uttered. Yes your heart hurt but it was simply the truth. He ghosted you the year after he moved. You needed to get him out of your head once and for all. 

“Well… let’s start with that picture right there,” Sunoo points to the frame beside your bed. You frown. You shook your head a little, reaching over to the frame and just setting it faced down. Baby steps you told yourself. Sunoo lets out an exhausted sigh. Some things he just needed to be more patient with.

“I’ll let you pass with that one for now, now get your butt up and go get changed and ready! If you haven’t seen what Rina said in the chat, she wants to go downtown to shop and eat! So let’s get up! They’re waiting!” It was your turn to groan as he ripped your blanket off of you and dragged you out of your bed, literally.

You were ready to finally get rid of Heeseung. For good.

“Finally you’re here!” you heard a familiar voice shout as you walked into the designated brunch spot you frequented. You spotted your friend Karina waving for your attention next to Ningning. You and Sunoo make your way over, sitting across from the two. “Took you two long enough! I’m starving,” Ningning muttered, picking up the menu to flip through.

“Sorry! We could’ve come sooner but someone had a problem starting with Hee and ending with Seung,” Sunoo said to them. They both gave you a small eye roll. 

“Y/n you have got to get over him,” Karina said, looking down at the menu in her hand. “It’s been literal years babe,” she added.

“Yeah, I still can’t believe you turned down Beomgyu, he was literally in love with you after you both… you know,” Ningning trailed on. You cringe at the memory. Just after losing your virginity to him, Beomgyu started to get clingy real fast, constantly texting you every second of the day, walking you to all of your classes, wanting to be with you even after school, giving you zero time to yourself. Of course you were fine with those things as you were interested in him at first too. But every single day? You couldn’t take it any longer. It was exhausting the way he love-bombed you. 

“Yeah why did you ever end it with him anyways,” Sunoo spoke up, not remembering the details. 

“Because, he was creepy and weird and even if the sex was good, I felt suffocated, PLUS he said Hello Kitty was stupid…,” you said, reminding them, your cheeks turning red from embarrassment as you admitted the last part. No one was gonna hate Hello Kitty and get away with it.

“You are something else…,” Karina said back, shaking her head. They knew how much Hello Kitty meant to you and that was surely something they did not wanna mess with. Before anyone else could speak, the waitress came by to take your order. This was going to be a long day. You ordered a creme brûlée french toast and a caramel iced coffee. Heeseung loved french toast too, you remembered. 

Boy was this going to be a long summer for you.

“Anywaysss, this summer is project “hot girl summer” for miss Y/n over here,” Sunoo breaks the ice. You roll your eyes as a smile crept onto your face. You couldn’t help but feel immense happiness, thinking about how your friends cared for your well being. You felt so lucky that the world had brought the four of you together. They were your entire world. You probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for them. 

“Good because I wanna head to the mall and get some new clothes. Perfect timing! We have got to get you sexier things to wear!” Ningning exclaims excitedly. Something inside of you couldn’t help but get a bit excited. You were ready for a change and you were ready to get rid of Heeseung once and for all.

But you couldn’t help but feel as if something bad were going to happen.

You shake the thought off and you engage into whatever conversation your friends are having, laughing your heart away. You had to make this last summer count.  

After about what seems to be almost an hour and a half, you and your friends head to the mall. Thankfully, everything downtown was in walking distance so you didn’t have to worry about Sunoo having to find parking once more.

Walking into the mall, you guys entered the first clothing store you saw.

“First of all, we gotta get you some lingerie or something, you cannot keep wearing all of those Hello Kitty underwear you have,” Karina judgingly said. 

“Heyyy! They’re cute,” you offendly spit back with a pout. “Again, surprised Beomgyu even gave you some dick after seeing— OUCH!” Ningning yelps in pain as you smack her arm. She rubs the inflicted area, trying to soothe herself. 

“Yeah you cannot expect to get laid like that anymo— OW!” you smacked Sunoo next before he could say anymore. Without realizing, Karina was already filling up a little basket full of matching sets for you. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Were your Hello Kitty underwear really that bad? Your thoughts were disrupted by Sunoo as he called for your name, holding up a few mini skirts. 

“Try these on right now,” he said, pushing the skirts into your hands as Ningning followed suit with some tops and dresses. Already pushing you into the nearest dressing room, they demanded a fashion show. Meanwhile, Karina was hand picking the best lingerie she could find for you, making her way to the checkout, keeping her selections a surprise. Your friends were insane people.

Finally, from hours spent in the mall, you guys were ready to make your way home. The sun was finally setting as you four walked back into the direction of the restaurant your day had started at. With your hands full of bags, you swore you’re never going to spend this much money in one go again. “It was for a good cause,” you hear Ningning's earlier statement fill your mind. 

Was this really going to help? You couldn’t help but feel doubts within you as the thought of Heeseung came crawling back into your head.

The sunset was the same sunkissed colors of red and pink that day you shared at the fair. This was getting pathetic. He doesn’t care about you anymore. 

“Alright, we’re here, thank you guys for helping me with this case,” Sunoo spoke up, opening his trunk to put your bags away. Karina and Ningning smile at you, giggles escaping everyone’s mouths as you all take in the moment. It was days like this you all appreciated each other more.

“No worries, plus I cannot wait for you to see the lingerie, you’re gonna love them!” Karina excitedly squeals, pulling you into a tight hug. She leans into your ear whispering “send pics,” pulling away and giving you a sly wink. Hitting her shoulder, you shake your head with a toothy smile. 

You guys say your last goodbyes as Karina and Ningning make their way to Karina’s car, you and Sunoo pull away, making your way back home. Man was it convenient for him as he lived right next to you. 

“By the way, my mom just texted and asked if you wanted to stay for dinner tonight, she said there are surprise guests?” you asked puzzled. “What is Ice Spice going to be there or something?” Sunoo asks back laughing. You joined in. “Actually, she won’t tell me who it is so we’ll see… so are you down for dinner?” you asked again.

“Sorry not tonight, I already agreed to have dinner with my grandparents today,” Sunoo replied back. You were bummed as meeting new people always made you anxious. “But I’m free other than that so tomorrow we can do something again?” He asks. You nod your head telling him it was okay.

As you guys turn down onto your street, a boy on a bike passes by, catching your eye as he looks at you for a second, riding past Sunoo’s car. There was something oddly so familiar about him. 

“Woah, cute guy… never seen him before, hope we see him again, maybe he could give you some action,” Sunoo piped up as he pulled into his driveway. You smacked his shoulder earning a dramatic yelp from him.

“Yeah… let’s see,” you said back, rolling your eyes as Sunoo helped you gather your things, walking you across the lawn to your house. He gives you a little hug and tells you to tell your parents he said “hi” before making his way back to his house. You opened your door and was immediately met with laughter and some distinctly familiar voices. Yet your head couldn’t quite pinpoint it. The door opening catches the attention of your mother.

“Y/n? Is that you? Hurry in!” she shouts from the kitchen, sounding a bit impatient. “Hold on! I have to bring things upstairs real quick, I’ll be back down!” you shouted back and ran upstairs. Walking into your room, you threw all of your bags into your closet, making a mental note to put them all away later and to try on the things Karina picked out for you. Without a second thought, you ran back down, curious as to who your mother was talking about. 

Heading towards the kitchen, your steps come to a halt.

Were you hallucinating or were Mr. and Mrs. Lee standing right before you? 

“Oh my Y/n— you’ve gotten so grown up and beautiful, I may just cry! Come give me a hug!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, one hand covering her mouth to hold back tears and the other extended to pull you into a hug. “It’s been so long, how have you been Y/n?” Mr. Lee asks you, it was his turn to pull you into a hug. Still stunned, you thought this was a dream. This had to be some sick and twisted dream. 

“I’ve been okay, you know… just graduated and stuff,” you shyly said, suddenly getting anxious. Does this mean Heeseung was here too?

“Yes! We are so sorry for not staying in touch, oh how we wish so much to have stayed here but Mr. Lee’s new job required so much traveling!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, sadness filled her tone. 

“Oh no worries, life happens, it’s wonderful to see you guys, are you two just visiting?” you asked, taking a seat at the dining table, looking at them. They had visually aged but they were still the same sweet couple you remember them to be. 

“There’s something we have to tell you guys actually…,” Mrs. Lee trailed on, a sheepish smile on her face. She looked at her husband and looked back at us. “You tell them honey!” she excitedly demanded, seeming a bit giddy. Mr. Lee gives a gummy smile.

“We moved back into the neighborhood!” He shouts. Your parents both let out an “oh my god” as everyone was shockingly surprised. Your father getting excited that his cooking buddy was back and your mother getting excited now that she has someone other than you to gossip about the neighborhood. 

“Oh my god, that’s so fun! What made you guys come back?” you asked, your interest piqued as you genuinely wanted to know. It’s been five or so years since they last moved. 

“Well, Heeseung actually got into a college here, so we decided to move back and settle,” Mrs. Lee said. “Hmm what was the school name again?” she turns to her husband and asks.

“Decelis University honey, you’re always forgetting,” he laughs. 

Your heart fell to your ass. Your mouth hung open, a visible reaction of surprise shown on your face. No way this was real… you had to be dreaming. Before you can speak up, your father beats you to it.

“Oh? That’s where Y/n is going! That’s so exciting, you hear that Y/n? You and Heeseung can be friends again!” your father joyfully claimed. “Speaking of Heeseung, where is the boy?” your mother asks. 

“He should be here soon, he went on a bike ride before we left to see if anything changed around here. I’m sure he remembers where the house is!” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Bike… riding?

Oh no.

The realization comes crashing down onto you, you already have seen Heeseung. You wanted to throw up right there and then, this could not be happening right now. All of your emotions start rushing back to you as you excuse yourself to leave. Your mother sees your discomfort and follows you out of the kitchen a few minutes later. You make your way out heading towards your room, needing to sit down. Taking deep breaths in and out, your heart felt like it was going to collapse any moment. Your tears come flooding back the same they did this morning. Your breathing increases and you start to hyperventilate.

Was that really him? This can’t be happening, not right now.

Your heart felt as if someone just ripped it out of your chest and through it into oncoming traffic. No matter how much you wipe your tears away, they just keep coming back. Your head shoots up. There was a soft knock at your door. Your mother opens it, a weak smile showcasing on her face. She shuts the door softly, taking small steps towards you.

Your mother had always known how much you liked Heeseung. Your father always thought it was just mere puppy love, thinking you’d move on eventually. I mean who wouldn’t have? You two were only just kids. But your mother knew better. She always did.

The following days after the Lee's departure, she remembered having to hold you in her arms for hours as you hysterically cried thinking about the boy. The following months after, she knew you were still affected despite you telling her you were okay. She’d always occasionally catch you crying, hearing faint sounds of sniffles coming from your room. She always made sure to make your favorite desserts or meals to cheer you up, subtly letting you know she was always here for you. You knew you always worried her so you tried your best to suppress the feelings. But moms know best.

Sitting down on your bed next to you, she wraps her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a tight hug. You lean your head onto her shoulder as your tears continuously stream down your face. Leaning her chin on top of your head, she hums into your hair to calm you down just a bit. 

“Hey baby, it’s going to be okay, I promise… do you want me to tell the Lee’s an excuse so that they can go home? We don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready yet,” she softly said in an almost whisper-like tone as she rocked you a little from side to side. You shook your head. You knew you had to face him one way or another, you mind as well get it over with. 

“I-I’m okay…,” you hiccuped trailing off. She laughs a little. “Are you sure? I can really make an excu–,” cutting her off you chuckle, wiping your snot filled face and tears away. Your mother was always like this. She was always willing to do whatever it took to make you feel at ease. You couldn’t have been more thankful for having such a wonderful mother in your life. 

“Sunoo said it was “mission forget about Heeseung” summer, so that’s what I'm gonna do,” you let out, untangling yourself from your mother’s arm, sitting back up. You wipe off the non existent dust off your skirt, hoping your mother would understand. She lets out a heavy sigh.

“If this is what you want, you know I’m always going to support you and whatever you choose to do– but I will be checking on you even more than usual, got it?” she sternly ends, squinting her eyes at you as she gives you a harsh point almost scolding you a bit. You both break out into a fit of laughter. 

“Well, whenever you’re ready to come back down, the Lee’s will be joining us for dinner tonight– if that’s oka–,” you cut her off once more. “Mom, it's okay!” you dramatically sighed. “Heeseung is nothing to me now! I just threw him out the window in my mind,” you giggle picturing the scene. Your mother shakes her head, a huge smile plastered on her face listening to your silly thoughts.

“Whatever you say Y/n~ The boy should be here soon, so get cleaned up and make sure you look good! Show him what he’s been missing out on!” She excitedly lets out, giving you a kiss on the cheek. She heads to your door, but before leaving she turns her head back giving you a sly wink, then shutting the door. Her footsteps slowly disappear in sound as she goes down the stairs. You stand up, walking towards your vanity. Sitting on the seat in front of the mirror, you sighed heavily. 

You looked insane. Eyeliner everywhere and your hair a mess. You put on a smile as you get on to working on your makeup once again. Fixing your wings and making sure to add your touch of glitter, you finish off with a clear gloss on your lips. You brush your hair out, making sure it was neat enough and definitely didn’t look like you were just crying your heart out. Thankfully, your oh so dear best friend Kim Sunoo, bought you some eye drops not too long ago, making sure you never walk out with red eyes ever. He knew the amount you cried no matter how much you tried to defend yourself. Some day you knew it’d come in handy.

Well today was the day that’s for sure. 

You grab the eye drops, squeezing a few drops into both eyes, carefully blinking them in, hoping they wouldn’t mess your eyeliner up. You set it down, looking once more into the mirror for a final check. To your surprise, your face didn’t look as puffy as you thought it was. Thank you for the wonders of makeup. Satisfied with how you look, you walk to your closet, standing in front of your full length mirror beside it. You check yourself out, taking note that your outfit seemed cute enough already. 

You had on a sort of short light purple pleated skirt, paired with a simple black corset crop top and sheer thigh high stockings. Was this too much? Again, Sunoo did help you pick the outfit out earlier as, in his words, this makes you look “sexy yet cute” and will “attract all the single boys in our area.” Feeling the need to cover up just a tad bit more, you open your closet to grab an oversized, cropped, black cardigan to wear over your top. That should be enough. Giving yourself one last look, you walk out of your bedroom door, happily humming to yourself as you skip down the stairs, going back to where your parents and the Lee’s were. Catching the attention of both sets of parents, they all looked at you as you stood at the kitchen doorway. You give a tiny wave, an awkward smile on your face. You walk to the dining table, pulling a seat out to sit next to your mother. Mrs. Lee catches your attention.

“Oh Y/n sweetie, are you okay? Your mother says you weren’t feeling too well,” she concernedly asked you. A chuckle leaves your lips. 

“Don’t worry Mrs. Lee, I’m okay! Just something going on with my friends,” you lied, smiling back. Your parents definitely knew you were lying and Mrs. Lee couldn’t help but wonder if her own suspicions were true as well. Deep down, she knew how much your friendship with her own son meant to you. She also couldn’t help but feel guilty for how you both drifted apart, always thinking she should’ve convinced her husband to stay in this neighborhood a little harder. “Well, Heeseung should be here any minute now, food’s about done.”

You take a deep breath in, mentally preparing yourself. Maybe you weren’t ready for this. It was a little too late now though… plus you didn’t wanna ruin your parents excitement having their close friends back in town. You loved your parents and there was nothing more you wanted but to see them happy as well, no matter how much you were hurting inside. But man did you have a lot to tell your friends later. Your deep thoughts are soon broken as your dad speaks up.

“Oh Y/n! The Lee’s wanted to know if you wanted to come to their house this weekend for a barbeque party?” You nervously giggle as you weren’t really sure what to say. “You can invite your friends as well! Your parents have told us how close you were with the Kim’s son next door,” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Your palms start to clam up and your heart starts racing. 

“Y-Yeah… sure I’d be happy to go, I’ll let my friends know! Thank you,” you shakily let out. Both of the Lee’s nod as your mom gives a single happy clap, filled with immense joy. “Perfect! And you’ll make your famous tiramisu right?” your mother grins, nudging you with her elbow. Shaking your head with a grin, you couldn’t help but agree. “Ooh Y/n you make sweets now? You’ve always had such a big sweet tooth,” Mrs. Lee said. 

“Oh she sure does, wait till you try some of her macarons!” your mother exclaims dramatically, slamming her palm onto the table for a little smack sound effect. The two women get up filled with laughter, as they start to help prepare the table for dinner. “Do you guys need any help?” you asked, getting up from your seat.

The doorbell rings, catching everyone’s attention. “Y/n dear, could you grab the door? That should be Heeseung,” Mrs. Lee sweetly spoke up, hands filled with plates and utensils. “Uh… yeah… sure,” you sighed out, heart pounding against your chest. You definitely really weren’t ready for this. Again, that same bubbling feeling started to rise, you swear you were about to throw up right there all over the dinner that was being set onto the table. Surely this couldn’t be bad– right?

Making your way out the kitchen, you softly walked to the door. Your steps suddenly feel like you're walking on a floor full of hot lava. You oh so desperately wished you could just disappear into thin air right now. Please world, let you spontaneously combust with no trace of your well-being. As your body trembles a bit, you take in a deep breath as you shakily reach for the door, unlocking the lock and twisting the knob. That french toast from earlier fighting the urge to regurgitate right onto your floor. You pull the door open, confirming the sight you saw earlier from Sunoo’s car. 

Lee Heeseung in the flesh. 

Exactly how you saw him earlier in the day, clad in his gray hoodie and black jeans, bike leaning on the side of your porch. He tucks his phone back into his pocket, looking up to see who was appearing before him. The two of you lock eyes. He looks you up and down, taking in your appearance. He surely looked different, you thought. He no longer wore his glasses, his face was heavenly defined, and he grew to insane heights, towering over you. He had to be at least six foot tall you thought… yeah he was huge. You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach, you were sure that you were attracted to him. You swear you could just faint any minute now. Without a care or a single word being spoken, he pushes past you, making his way into your house and into your kitchen.

What the fuck? 

Taken aback, you close the front door, locking it behind you. A frown worn on your face as you try to take in what just happened. Following not too far behind him, you hear your parents excitedly yell his name. Appearing before you in the kitchen, you see him giving your parents both a hug, a small smile plastered onto his face. He wasn’t being serious right? It felt as if he was trying his hardest to ignore your presence. You held back your disappointment as tears desperately wanted to fall from your eyes. This effect he had on you was pathetic.

Now feeling offended as you watch them all engage in conversation, you make your way back to your seat at the dining table. You let out a huff, just waiting for this day to come to an end. Aside from his shitty attitude, you couldn’t help but think about the way he surely did grow into all of his features. Though he sported the same black hair he has always had, you couldn’t help but think how cute and fluffy it still looked, or the way his doe-like eyes still sparkled when you looked at them. 

Well to you they still sparkled.

You also couldn’t help but think about how it’d feel like to have him enclosing you against the wall, towering over you or picturing yourself sitting on his lap as he held you with his big hands, making out with you. You squeeze your thighs together, naughty things fill your mind as a blush crept onto your cheeks. 

What was wrong with you? Why were these thoughts filling up your mind? Before getting a little too flustered, you were brought back into reality as the chair across from you was being pulled out to be sat on. You look up, there Heeseung took a seat. He catches your eyes again, an uninterested look on his face. You simply look away. His aura felt suffocating. He was making you feel so small in your own home. It was sickening.

But man was the so fucking hot. Puberty had done him well that’s for sure. Your mothers sensed awkward tension between the two of you as they brought the food out to be set. Your fathers take their seats at both ends. Your mother takes a seat next to you and his mother next to him. Pouring yourself a glass of water from the pitcher your moms had prepared for the table, your throat feeling drier than ever, you gulp down nearly half of your cup. As you all settle in a bit, you start to dig into your meal. Silence fell upon the table as you all took a moment to eat a bit. 

The silence almost made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Mr. Lee clears his throat. “Heeseung, guess what?” he asks his son in a joyful tune. Heeseung cocks his eyebrow, looking at his father as he takes another bite of his food. Mr. Lee grins, looking at you and back at Heeseung. “Y/n is also going to Decelis University, isn’t that so fun?”

Your cheeks start to heat up as you awkwardly take another sip of your water. Heeseung looks at you. You could feel his stare burning into his skin. 

Why was he being like this?

“What are you studying?” he asked, tone seemingly uninterested as if he was forcing himself to speak with you. Yet that didn’t stop the butterflies from filling up in your stomach. You had missed his voice. His voice, now deeper than it was before, runs through body. Your body trembles just a tiny bit. To you he seemed bored yet that was not going to stop your heart from doing olympic flips inside of your chest. “Um, psychology…,” you trailed awkwardly, playing with the food on your plate. He nods, more immersed into his food than he was in you. 

Maybe people do change… maybe he really didn’t care for you anymore. You purse your lips into a flat line, frustrated at how things were going. Maybe you really did need to forget about him. 

“Well Heeseung just got his very own car! I’m sure he’d love to drive you to school as well,” Mrs. Lee spoke up, trying her best to defuse the tension. “Mom,” Heeseung whines, disappointed in his tone. She gives him a stern look. The younger boy sighs annoyedly. His mother always forced him to do things he never wanted to do in the first place. 

“I-It’s okay really, I’m fine taking the bus when the time comes, trust me, he doesn’t have to,” you shakily let out. Yet again, you felt as if you were going to throw up all over this table. “No he will Y/n, don’t worry, I’ll make sure of it,” Mrs. Lee smiles at you. Heeseung rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at his mother for offering his services. You awkwardly pick at your food, as the parents started up a completely new conversion amongst themselves.

Stealing peaks at Heeseung every so often, you wondered why he was being so weird. Did he not miss you this entire time? Were you really that forgettable to him? You frown to yourself, finishing what was left on your plate, not realizing how fast everyone had eaten. You get up from your seat, giving a helping hand as you start to clear the table for everyone and making your way to the sink. Finally, away from the view of the table, you set the dirty dishes down. 

You let out a deep shaky sigh. Tears slowly well up in your eyes once more. You tilt your head up towards the ceiling, trying your best to hold them back. You hated that you were such a big cry baby. You decide to start on the dishes, giving your mother a little helping hand, trying your hardest to think positive thoughts.

Back at the dining table away from your line of hearing, your mother speaks up, catching Heeseung’s attention. “Heeseung, you really have gotten so tall and handsome!” she expressed in awe. “Can’t you believe Y/n used to be a little taller than you back in the day? Now look at her! So short,” finishing her statement, she covers her mouth as she laughs, the other parents at the table join in. 

Heeseung simply chuckles back. You were very small, it was almost as if you barely grew in height the last he saw you. If Heeseung was being honest, you caught him off guard. You looked completely different. Your hair is longer, your curves grew in, and even the way you dressed surprised him. Heeseung didn’t mean to ignore you, he really didn’t. He was afraid he’d stutter and embarrass himself. 

You probably hated him anyway. So he made the conscious decision to make it seem like he just didn’t care. You surely had new friends now. But the thought of you, was driving him a little insane. That wasn’t the same Y/n, was it? He kept sneaking peeks at you like a kid having his very first crush. Well you actually were his very first love. For some reason, you were making him feel a bit hot and bothered. He needed to get away from you, he didn’t even think his parents would even move back to this place. He wanted to forget about you. There was no way you still felt the same after so many years. 

It was his fault anyways that you both stopped speaking. He couldn’t forgive himself and he figured it was best to keep you out of sight and out of mind, embarrassed and nervous thinking of the way he must’ve made you feel. It’s been so long, it wasn’t like you cared–  right?

Seeing you today just made him want to jump all over you. The nerve of you to wear that little skirt… Did you know his favorite color was purple? The moment he saw you, impure thoughts filled his mind. Thoughts and images in his head of you, bent over the table with your little skirt, all for him. He knew it was you he saw in that car with that boy.

Who the hell was that guy anyways? There was no way you wanted anything to do with him… you had already replaced him. For all he knew, that guy could’ve been your boyfriend. He needed to put an end to these thoughts. The two of you were no longer friends and here he was thinking about you in compromising ways. He felt like a creep. He felt himself getting a little too excited in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you were the bigger person and would look past his nonsense and maybe talk to him. He missed you, he always has.

But he was the one that ghosted you and he couldn’t forgive himself for what he ruined and he knew there was no hope of rekindling what was once there. It seemed like you had a boyfriend anyways and the thought of that just sours his mood. For some reason, it just made him all the angrier. He wanted to just kiss you in front of everyone to let the world know you were his girl first to begin with. Deep in thought, he hadn’t realized you were already back until he saw his empty dinner plate being carried away by his mother. 

You sat back across from him. He locks his eyes onto you, taking the way you looked in once more. Man did he want to take you right there and then. He felt so filthy thinking about you in such a way surrounded by not only his parents, but yours as well. He shifts a bit in his seat, having to keep in mind that you were already taken. He was always selfish thinking you’d wait for him. To make himself feel worse, the thought of you doing lewd actions to anyone but him, made him feel the need to punch holes through walls. 

Why was he so upset? He couldn’t even bring himself to speak to you normally anyways. 

You felt heavy eyes on you as you sat in your seat, looking up from your lap, your eyes meet Heeseung’s. This was happening way too much for your liking. You look away and back onto your lap, fiddling your fingers together, nervous as to what he was thinking. He looked scary. Your breathing still a bit shaky, you were just counting down the minutes till the Lee’s left. But you knew they’d be here awhile, that was typical of both your families as they loved to linger and talk about nonsense. Your legs shaking nervously, you let out a deep sign, your anxiety getting worse as the time flies by. “Why don’t you show Heeseung to your room and catch up a bit? I’m sure you guys would love to talk amongst yourselves.”

You spin your head at the speed of light to where the voice was coming from. Your father takes a sip of his drink. “Go on, we’ll give you two some space,” he adds on. Shocked, you looked at your mother, hoping she’d save you, but she gave you a little shrug shaking her head. You knew your dad never took your feelings for Heeseung seriously. Taking a mental note to have a stern talk with him later, you stand up from your seat, legs wobbling. “Uh… sure– if it’s okay with you of course,” you hastily spit out, hoping he’d turn you down. 

To your surprise, he stood up from his seat, making his way towards your side. What the fuck was going on. Was he not just ignoring you not too long ago? Your heart pounding against your ribcage, you scurry your way out of the kitchen, Heeseung follows behind.

Heeseung knew where your bedroom was already, your house was still the same aside from minor renovations from the past years. As you lead the way to your room, he couldn’t help but trail his eyes down to your bottom. The thigh highs on your legs not making anything better for what he was going through at the moment either. Walking up the stairs, his eyes catch a glimpse of your underwear… Hello Kitty underwear? He smirked. Maybe some things about you never changed and boy was he right.

When you open the door to your room, he was met with Sanrio galore. Hello Kitty plushies littered your room followed by every possible character that franchise had a hold of. Hell, your bedsheets and bed were splattered with just as much. 

You walked in and sat on your bed, the nerve wracking anxiety eating away at you. You swear you could just jump out of your window right now to escape this. Too deep into your thoughts, you didn’t realize the fact that he closed the door behind him. You were definitely going to throw up sooner or later. 

The tension was awkward and your heart was heavy. What were you supposed to say? 

Lee Heeseung was in your room and he looked extremely hot. 

He takes in your room, it looks completely different. You had taken time to really change things. He scans around and a certain wall catches his eye. There on the wall, littered with many pictures of you and your friends. There he saw you and that same guy he saw you with earlier in so many of the pictures. Why was he always there? It pissed Heeseung off to no end. Old pictures of the two of you nowhere in sight. He was upset to say the least. Did you really hate him that much? His temper starts to get short. What he said next shocked the both of you. 

“Did you really have to dress like a slut for dinner?” he spits, catching even himself off guard. Your head shoots at him, a disgusted expression lay on your face. “What the hell did you just say to me?” You stood up, crossing your arms as you looked at him.

This was not the Heeseung you knew, that's for sure. Your feelings for him were thrown out the window and forgotten. He was being thrown out the window in your head once again. “Did I stutter?” he cocks his eyebrow at you as your face displays offense.

“What the hell is your problem Heeseung,” you bite back, your temper being shortened. You cannot believe this was the same guy you were crying over the entire day. He laughs at your face. “What’s yours? I’m not the one having my ass and tits hanging out for the whole world to see,” he nonchalantly says. Oh he was done for. “You sure have changed.”

He was far too gone to even call whatever he just did some sick joke and make up with you. To him, you looked so cute being all angry at him, it made him a little excited. He wondered how long he could keep this up. Though, he was fighting the urge to just grab you and kiss you right there. But you had a boyfriend, he couldn’t do that. 

You angrily stomp towards him, cornering him against the wall. Harshly jabbing his chest with your finger, you looked up at him, a smug smile plastered onto his face. You wanted to punch his pretty face in. 

“You are so fucking annoying, what do you treat every girl you see this way? Dick too small to get any action, you have to take it out on women?” you spit out at him, venom lacing your voice. One thing you were not going to let men get away with was the way they spoke about women. The sweet Heeseung you once knew, instantly exploding into little pieces in your mind. 

He chuckles. “I’ll have you know, I have a huge dick and probably get more action than you– Ms. Hello Kitty panties,” he smirks at you as you gasped. “You fucking creep!” a loud sound erupted into the room.

You had just smacked him in the face. Heeseung knew he had that coming. You couldn’t believe this was your Heeseung. Someone definitely replaced the Heeseung you knew with a terrible good for nothing clone.

But why were you still so attracted to him?

Heeseung rubs the side of his face that was inflicted. “Can’t handle the truth can you, can’t believe your little boyfriend lets you out looking like that,” he said, rolling his eyes at you. Puzzled, you furrowed your brows together trying to figure out what he meant. Boy… friend? Then it hits you.

Sunoo. You couldn’t believe what you just heard. Heeseung thinks Sunoo is your boyfriend. Forgetting all that just occurred, you pull back and let out the loudest laugh in his face, clutching your stomach. You couldn’t believe he thought Sunoo was your boyfriend. “You really are so stupid,” you said, wiping a tear away. 

Heeseung’s face heats up a bit as he pouts, what could’ve possibly been so funny. “Yeah, my “boyfriend” let’s me out like this, because he’s not actually my boyfriend,” you said with finger quotes on the word boyfriend. Why was he so worked up over Sunoo anyways? 

“Then who is he to you, he’s in all of your pictures,” he crosses his arms at you. You raise an eyebrow, confused as to why he was pressing. “Um, that’s my best friend, he lives in your old house…,” you trailed, feeling a bit awkward bringing up the fact that his old place of residence was now occupied by some boy he knows nothing about.

Heeseung’s eye twitches just a bit, a weird feeling bubbles within him. So you did replace him and better yet, replace him with another boy that lives in his old home. He felt as if you just kicked him in the face. 

“Was I nothing to you? What are you gonna marry him now? I look better anyways,” he disgustingly lets out at you. Was he jealous? You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You were the one that ghosted me, let’s not forget that now,” you said back sternly. The way his eyes darkened at you, made your knees a bit weak. He strides towards you, causing you to walk backwards, the back of your legs hitting your bed as you stumble on, Heeseung towering over you.

Voice dropping as he looked down at you on your bed, he spoke up. “It’s not like it mattered anyways, seems like you were out here dressed like a whore, leading every boy on.” Your eyes meet his, he leans down, you can feel his breath on your face. 

“Bet you wanted me to look at you anyways, I bet you like the attention,” he whispers in your ear. Tingles run through your entire body. Without thought, you squeezed your thighs together to feel a little friction. You were getting turned on. He lingers just a little as he reaches his hand up to hold your chin, making sure you looked him in the eyes. Your breathing increases as you start to realize how close he was to you. This had to be a dream. He inches his face closer to yours, the scent of your strawberry like perfume fills his nose. You have always smelt sweet. It was intoxicating to him. You close your eyes, hoping this wasn’t real. He looks down at your lips before taking a slight breath in. 

His lips landed onto yours. Your eyes widened, not believing this was happening. You quickly close them again, giving into the kiss. He smirks against your lips, deepening the kiss, his hand still holding your face up. He pulls away, pushing you down. You scoot up a bit, as he climbs onto your bed, now hovering over you.

You felt so small under him. Your eyes fluttered as he stared down at you. A wave of embarrassment wash over you as you bring your arm up to cover your face. He pulls your arm away, eyes hungry for you. He leans back down, pulling you into another heated kiss as he puts his knee in between your legs, opening them slightly. The friction catching you off guard, you let out a small moan. His dick twitches, you start to grind a little on his leg. He moves his hand down to caress your side, bringing it up to give your boob a squeeze over your shirt.

You gasped, taken by surprise. He takes the chance to stick his tongue into your mouth, your panties growing wetter by the minute. Mission “forget about Heeseung” was no longer there. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in. Everything felt so hot and fuzzy, you had long forgotten the things he had said earlier. Heeseung pulls away, moving his mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses. You squirm under him, trying your hardest to keep quiet. He chuckles.

“We just met again after so long, and you’re really letting me do this to you right now while our parents are downstairs?” he spoke against you, he trails his hand down and in between your legs. “You aren’t really helping your case of being a little slut now– are you?” 

Your face turns red, unable to speak. He was right, you guys had barely said anything to each other and here you are letting him touch you after all the nasty things he said earlier. It was Lee Heeseung after all. The one and only boy who managed to make you feel every and all emotions in this world. Your body easily gave in as if this was what it's been waiting for. 

His fingers stroke the outside of your panties, you were already soaked. He rubs his finger up and down your panties, feeling the dampness as he reaches his other hand up to your corset top, conveniently having a zipper on the front, he unzips your top, your boobs spilling out. “No bra? You really are just a slut.”

At this point, he was painfully hard. He gropes one of your breasts as he leans down, taking the other into your mouth. He sucks on your nipple as he rubs circles on your clit, still clothed by your panties. You reach your hand over your mouth, covering it as your moans gradually get louder. The room felt hot and heavy, you couldn’t help yourself as you moaned his name, pleasure overfilled your body.

“H-Heeseung… Hee… please…,” you softly cried out. He moans into your breast, pushing your panty to the side, he feels your wetness in its entirety. His fingers slide up and down your slit as he takes his mouth off of your nipple, eyes on you. 

Fuck, you looked too hot. He couldn’t believe he was doing these things to you right now. He pulls you into another sloppy kiss. He inserts his finger into your hole, a moan erupting out of you as he starts to thrust his hand. You were so wet and he needed to take you right now. The thought of you both potentially getting caught as your parents were just downstairs, turned him on even more. He pulls away, taking your fucked out expression in. He adds in another finger.

“Oh my god,” you moaned, blushing as you caught his eye. Lust overtook him as he increased the pace of his hand, pumping his fingers in and out of you as if his life depended on it. He curled his fingers within you, earning a loud squeal from you. He smirks. 

“Y/n, you gotta keep your voice down, you don’t want your parents coming up here seeing their sweet little daughter like this, now do you?” he menacingly asked. Your cute little moans were enough to almost make him burst all over you. His pants were getting too tight for his liking. He needed to have you. 

You were lost and flustered. His fingers so deep into you, you felt your climax was close. “Faster… please H-Hee…,” you moan, stuttering from the sensation. “S-So c-close, I’m so close.”

With his free hand, he reaches up, grabbing your face. “Look at me while you cum Y/n, I need to see your fucked out face,” his said, his deep voice making you clench around his fingers. Your moans start to increase again, he puts his hand over your mouth, trying to suppress the volume. With one more pump, you cream all over his fingers, screams of his name muffled against his hand as he rides out your high with his fingers. He takes his hand off, allowing you to finally breathe and catch your breath. Eyes hazy as you pant. He pulls his fingers out of you, taking them up to his mouth, sucking on his own fingers and tasting your cum. 

“Fuck, you taste so good Y/n,” he said, leaning down kissing you, letting you have a taste of yourself. Pulling back, he leans his forehead on yours, taking in what he just did with you. Silence filled the room, your cheeks heated up as you looked away from him. Your heart wanted to jump out of your chest. 

You just let Lee Heeseung finger you. 

And you liked it. 

Before you both could even muster up words to say, yells of Heeseung’s name were heard from downstairs. He stands up quickly, taking in the way you were on your bed one last time. Man did he love that skirt on you. He adjusts his hoodie, pulling it down more to cover his raging boner. Without a word, he takes his leave, leaving you there on your bed. Tits out, panties filled with your own cum, skirt hiked up, and flustered. You hastily sit up, zipping your top back up. Like the entire day, the feeling of needing to throw up reemerges. You reach your own hand down, feeling the wetness still there. This definitely was not a dream. Heeseung just fingered you.

Lee Heeseung was here and he just fingered you.

You grab your pillow, groaning as you slam your head repeatedly down onto it. 

How the hell did you end up here?

Heeseung’s heart was beating so fast. He ran down your stairs, almost running into his own mother as she was putting her shoes on by the door. 

“Woah, slow down son,” she laughs. He mutters a sorry as he turns to bid your parents a goodbye. He makes his way out of your house needing a breath of fresh air, still painfully hard. He picks up his bike from the side of your porch and makes his way off of your driveway and down the road, leaving his parents there puzzled as to why he was in such a hurry. He needed to get home now.

Thankfully, his house wasn’t too far from yours, just being down the street by the basketball court. He threw his bike onto his lawn as he hurriedly tried to fish his house keys out of his pocket. Opening the door, he quickly shuts it behind him as he runs up the stairs and to his room. He locks the door. He needed to let one out while the image of you was fresh in his mind.

Heeseung strips himself of his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. He jumps into his bed, laying his head onto his pillow, palming himself through his boxers. Before getting started, he hears his parents enter the home. He waits until they make their way into their room, settling in for the night. After a bit of time had passed, he deemed it safe enough to finally start his session. He palms himself once more, squeezing his length through his boxers. 

He couldn’t believe you actually let him finger you. He takes the hand he used to finger you with, bringing his fingers up to his nose, taking a whiff of what was there of your essence. His dick twitched. You smelled delicious. Not being able to take it any longer, he pulls his boxers down, his cock slapping down onto his abdomen, pre cum already leaking from his tip. He spits into his hand, carefully reaching down to his cock, giving it a stroke.

Thoughts of you fill his mind. Images of what just happened flipped through his head like a slideshow. He strokes up and down, remembering the way your tits looked amazing. Your moans replay over and over again. He gives his tip a squeeze and continues on stroking his cock to you. His eyes remain closed as he tries his hardest to keep you there. He strokes hard and fast as he can almost still hear you moaning his name over and over again. 

He groans, wishing you were here to help him out. He thinks about how warm and wet your mouth would feel around him. He wishes so badly he got to feel your pussy around his cock, squeezing him the way you suffocated his fingers within you. 

“Fuck… Y/n,” he moans to himself, speed increasing. That damn skirt of yours. Next time he knew he had to have you bent over the nearest surface, pumping his cock deep into your pussy. If there was even a next time.

You were driving him insane. His orgasm getting closer and closer, he gives a few more pumps, ropes of his own cum spilling all over his chest as he lets out curses of your name. He laid there, panting and trying to catch his breath. 

This summer was going to be the death of him. 

The next day rolls around a little too fast for your liking. The events of last night, replaying in your head over and over again. You wanted to go to the nearest bridge and jump off. 

The boy you have been crying over for years was just here… in your house… and he fingered you. 

Your anxiety has been eating away at you since the moment you woke up. Your friends were on their way to your house, any minute now. Thankfully, Sunoo slept over his grandparents and agreed to go pick up the two girls before making his way here. 

After Heeseung had left last night, you immediately looked for your phone, opening up your messages to tell them what just happened. Thinking about it makes you want to run away forever.

Y/n sent a message to group “fuck heeseung!”

Y/n: guys … something just happened…

Karina: what’s up babe?

Sunoo: u good?

Ningning: ???

Y/n: uhhhhhhhh……

Sunoo: bitch if u dont just spit it out! 😒

Y/n: heeseung just fingered me in my room

Sunoo: WTF

Karina: WTF

Ningning: WTF

Ningning: this bitch done took the gc name srsly my gawdddd 😭

Having sent that text, you immediately threw your phone, ignoring the spam texts and calls your friends were sending your way. You could not handle your emotions as you went to get ready to sleep only to wake up to threats from your friends telling you they’re breaking into your house tomorrow and making you spill the tea. You lay there on your bed, covering your face with your hands. One of these days you were really going to throw up all over the place.

Your thoughts were soon broken as you heard loud knocks coming from downstairs. You hear muffles of your friends greeting your mother as she opens the door for her and then asking where you were. You wish you could just cast a spell like Alex Russo and disappear yourself out of here. Rushed footsteps head their way to you and your door was thrown open. You uncover your face and quickly sit up, patting your lap as your friends stare back at you, their arms crossed. 

“Heyyyyyyy…,” you said, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood, tucking your hair behind your ears, giving them a toothy exaggerated smile. This is the part where you wish you could spontaneously combust. Karina closes your door as Sunoo walks to sit on the bed with you and Ningning occupies the beanbag on your floor. Karina sits on the ground next to her. All eyes on you.

“So… how are you guys,” you sheepishly said, rubbing the back of your neck. They all roll their eyes simultaneously growing impatient. 

“How are we? Bitch how are you?!” Karina shouts at you. You pick up the Hello Kitty squish next to you, slamming your face into it and groaning. “If you don’t hurry and get to the detai–,” you cut her off.

“I will! Okay! So like you see…,” they inch closer towards you, not wanting to miss a single detail as mission “forget about Heeseung” was now compromised. You sighed, taking in a deep breath. It was now or never. 

“Okay so you see what had happened was… Heeseung’sfamilyhadmovedbacktotheneighborhoodandtheycameoverand–,” you were interrupted. “Oh my god Y/n slow the hell down, you know I can’t think!” Ningning exclaims, annoyed at your tactics.

“Okay.. okay… so… Heeseung’s family had moved back to the neighborhood–,”

“So they were the “special guest” your mom had told you about?” Sunoo interjected. You nod. “Okay, carry on.”

“Right so, since his family had moved back… that means he’s back… and–,”

“Now how did this get to him fingering you?” Karina speaks up. 

“I’m getting there woman! Okay so–,” 

“Damn Sunoo you missed out on seeing this motherfucker,” Ningning interrupts once more. “Right? Like I was just thinki–,” Now you were the one to cut Sunoo off. “Are ya’ll going to let me finish my story or what?” you annoyedly sighed. The two mumble small “sorry’s” as they allow you to continue. 

“Alright so, my parents invited them to stay for dinner, Heeseung wasn’t there yet and turns out he was the guy me and Noo saw riding his bike down our road,” you start off, palms getting sweaty. “THAT WAS HIM?” Sunoo shouts back at you, hand covering his mouth. “He was so cute.”

“Anyways,” you continued. “He shows up, kinda an asshole now, he practically ignored me all dinner until my parents forced me to bring him to my room and then things got a little… you know… heated… and he uhh… you know, did what he did to me,” you shyly finished as all the blood within you started to rush to the apples of your cheeks. You looked down onto your lap. “He was really mean… but he was so hot… I’m not sure what happened but he went from calling me a slut, to getting weird over thinking Noo was my boyfriend, me yelling at him, and then BAM! His fingers made their way in me I guess…,” you finished off. You look up, catching your friends' confused stares. Sunoo bursts into a fit of laughter.

“He thought I was your boyfriend? Y/n he was so jealous, like seriously, he finger fucked you because he was jealous you were around another boy!” Sunoo says through his laughter. You smack him with your squish, throwing punches at him after. “Well yeah and you’re sitting right where it happened,” you yelled at him. He gagged, disgusted he pushed you off of him and took a seat on the floor next to the two girls. He shook his whole body, cringing.

“Wait a minute, he called you a slut? Like in a “you’re so hot you belong to me” type of way or “you’re a slut and you need to stop looking like how you look” way?” Karina asks, genuinely concerned over the fact that this dude potentially hurt your feelings. You scratch your head. 

“Um… the second one…,” you trailed. Karina gets a bit heated. Her feelings towards this dude grow sour as the seconds pass. She hated him already. She lets out a heavy sigh. “You can’t be serious and you let him touch you after all of this?” She says with a disgusted tone paired with an equally expressive disgusted face. “When I get my hands on this guy, I’m gon–,” you cut her off.

“Rina, seriously it’s okay… everything just happened so fast, I’m not really sure how to feel but I also didn’t hate it,” you painfully admitted. The shame inside of you spilling out of your pores as you try to figure out a way to justify what you did. There was no justification. This was all way too complicated. 

“Y/n… this is the guy you have liked forever… and he ghosted you… if it were me, i would’ve been beating the shit out of him and not letting him put some fingers up my cooch,” Ningning spoke up, shrugging her shoulders. 

“Well I did slap him across his face,” you nonchalantly throw out. “You did what?” Sunoo said, raising an eyebrow genuinely interested. You roll your eyes at him. 

“So… did you even get his number to like… you know talk about all of… this,” Karina asked. She just wanted the best for you but you just alway seem to dig yourself into the biggest holes known to man. You let out a chuckle.

“About that… no…,” you muttered out. Karina picks up the nearest plush she saw that was on your floor and throws it at your head. “You are so stupid sometimes, you know that right Y/n?” she tiredly said. If she gets the chance to ever see Heeseung, she made a mental note to have a long talk with him. He could not get away with these shenanigans, she did not care how much he meant to you. 

“Oh yeah… and he’s going to be attending Decelis–,” this time it was Ningning throwing a plush at you, interrupting your nonsense. “It just keeps getting better and better!” Sunoo sarcastically lets out.

Sighing you felt exhausted, mentally and physically. This whole situation makes you want to pull your hair out of your head. But before forgetting, the thought of the barbeque comes to your mind. “Also, his family is hosting a BBQ this weekend, they said I could invite you guys– but only if you were interested!” you hurriedly finished the last part, worried they were going to throw anything else at you. Ningning and Sunoo shoot up from their seats. 

“Def def def going! If he’s as cute as y’all make him to be, he’s bound to have even cuter friends to invite,” Ningning giggles, fantasizing about the potential boys Heeseung could be inviting. “Maybe they’re gonna be going to DU too~,” the bubbly girl sings. You all roll your eyes at her. She has always been a hopeless romantic.

“I’m just nosy and I’d love to see how this all plays out,” Sunoo lets out, Ningning agreeing with him also. You all turned to Karina, she seemed indifferent.

“So Rina bear… do you want to come too? I’m making my tiramisu for the occasion~,” her face lights up, you can see the twinkle in her eyes. “Okay, but… I can’t promise i”ll behave,” she said, crossing her arms, sticking her tongue out at you. You jump up with joy, jumping onto them and onto the floor, pulling them all into a tight group hug.

“I love you guys so much, now let’s go get ice cream or something, I'm craving something sweet!” You excitedly exclaim. Sunoo snickers. “Yeah Heeseung already gave you something sweet last nigh–OW!” you smack the back of his head before he could even finish his sentence. With that, you all get up, making your way outside and to Sunoo’s car. 

“Alright, where are we heading?” Sunoo asks you guys. Ningning speaks up from the backseat. “Ooh, to that taiyaki ice cream place, you know, the one past the basketball court down there!” Everyone agrees as Sunoo pulls out of his driveway. 

Unbeknownst to all of you, Heeseung has been at the basketball court since the morning, playing some rounds with his friends. As Sunoo drives down the road, he suddenly lets out a gasp, slowing his car down.

“OH EM GEE… Y/n is that Heeseung?” He asked, pointing his finger towards the basketball court. “Oh em gee, WHERE?” Ningning yells, rolling her window down, Sunoo does the same. 

There Heeseung was, in a simple baggy white tee and gray sweatpants. “Wow Y/n… he’s so hot,” Ningning gasps. “And so are his friends! If those are the ones going to the BBQ, I call dibs on the blond one, he looks like a puppy,” she finishes. 

“Fuck are they looking at us?” Karina asked, her eyes bulging out of her face. Your face heats up, there Heeseung was, stopped in his tracks, eyebrow cocked as he makes eye contact with you through Sunoo’s car. You wanted to jump out of the car and run away. All of his friends were staring back, looking to see what had caught their friend’s eye. 

Of course they were, Sunoo and Ningning were not helping the situation. Who wouldn’t notice a bright red car, slowly driving down a quiet street as some weirdos stare at them from inside. To your surprise, Ningning catches the attention of the blond one, giggling as she winked, blowing him a kiss, he winks back at her. Karina pulls her back from the window, smacking her upside her head as she rolls the window back up. 

Sunken down onto your seat, the embarrassment was eating away at you as you oh so desperately wanted to throw up all over the interior of Sunoo’s car. You groan, covering your face, your friends really had to make things even weirder for you. Sunoo steps on the gas as he tries to get you guys out of this awkward situation ASAP. He couldn’t help but laugh at the way you looked in the passenger seat next to him. You ignore him, pulling your phone out to scroll through whatever social media app your finger clicked first. An instagram notification catches your eye.

“heesoswag1015” wants to send you a message!

You click on the notification, leading you to your requests box. Your heart is still racing, you click the accept button. The color drains from your face.

heesoswag1015: stalker much?

heesoswag1015: anyways my friend jake told me to tell u that your friend is really hot

heesoswag1015: and that you’re really fucking weird 

You were definitely not looking forward to the weekend.

© enwrites // tumblr

[wheelie-sick]

my experience with lupus cerebritis 🧠⚡

I was reading about lupus cerebritis (cerebritis= brain inflammation, lupus cerebritis = brain inflammation caused by lupus) trying to figure out if that's where my stutter could have come from. I stumbled across some stories from people who have experienced lupus cerebritis and it inspired me to try to share my own

a big part of cerebritis is memory loss, short term, long term, everything just vanishes. it feels so normal when it happens. that's a big thing with cerebritis for me. my mental state was very altered, everything that happened felt as if it had always been that way. sometimes I could logically acknowledge that it hadn't been this way, that it was new- sometimes I was bluntly forced into this knowledge over and over and over again as I normalized it in my head. other times my brain justified it in warped ways. I was living in a different reality.

I know that at the time there were gaping holes in my memory, things I shouldn't have forgotten. I remember one thing that stuck out- my graduation. I tried to remember my highschool graduation and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. it was as if it was hidden behind one of those bathroom you can't see but the light comes in windows. I could see the vague blur of what happened but I couldn't grasp it. just out of reach. I regained this memory later, I don't know if all of them came back. that's the problem with memory loss, you don't know what's gone.

this memory loss left some very permanent holes in my memory of that semester of brain inflammation. I am missing a lot. this recounting is going to be inaccurate on account of what's gone and what's warped.

the biggest feature of my cerebritis was psychosis. cerebritis drove me deep into a psychotic break.

it started off gradually, a creeping fog that shrouded the world. I don't remember where it began, I don't think it's possible to put a dot on the timeline and say "here! this is where I became psychotic!" it turned into a nightmare that would result in a failed semester of university. what started with mild delusions that people were following me and that I was on a watchlist turned into hiding under my bed with my blinds closed living off of ramen I had stockpiled because I thought the FBI was staking out my dorm room. I heard whispers coming from the corners of my dorm room. I isolated myself from my friends because I thought they were part of a mind reader society that would kill me if they knew that I knew about mind readers.

anxiety & paranoia are part of cerebritis

my writing ability was heavily affected by both my psychosis and cognitive issues. when writing essays I'd get the feedback that my writing was confusing, hard to follow, and made no sense. I once was one of the top writers in every class but now I was falling behind into last place.

lupus cerebritis is not just psychological and cognitive, though. I had gotten a wheelchair about 5 months before my cerebritis really kicked in. I ended up using it nearly full time, in part because of pain and fatigue caused by my untreated lupus but also because I would have bouts of severe balance & coordination issues. I would have trouble standing, I could not walk to the bathroom down the hallway. my body did not want to move the way I told it to.

eventually I got a diagnosis of lupus and was able to start treatment. after failing the conservative treatments I was put on a biologic. within a week I started returning to reality. my balance issues started to fade, my memory started to return. it took a total of 3 months to truly come down from the flare. it took a while to fully realize what had happened. I wasn't diagnosed with cerebritis when I was initially diagnosed, it took a follow up appointment where I explained what happened to be told that cerebritis was likely the cause.

I still live with some of the effects of my cerebritis and my immune system still loves to go after any part of my nervous system. I still have balance issues, I have peripheral neuropathy and a cranial nerve disorder, I still have brain fog and memory loss. brain inflammation leaves a lasting impact. it doesn't just go away and there's always a risk of it coming back.

reblogs welcome

[saoirseyun]

— .ᐟ ౨ৎ . . . 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞. 001

𝖲𝖸𝖭𝖮𝖯𝖲𝖨𝖲 — today is the day, at last. much less to your own relief, however. attending your wedding in the local prefecture, aomori; and leave once and for all that drenched life in the brothel... let's only hope that you last in your new life.

𝖢𝖮𝖭𝖳𝖤𝖭𝖳 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦 — unreliable narrator, bad writing? idk its been a while since i wrote long works, blunt humor, mentions of sex, taboos, historical inaccuracies, unsettling behavior from dazai, possibly poor depictions of Japanese culture, no beta we die like oda

𝖠𝖴𝖳𝖧𝖮𝖱'𝖲 𝖭𝖮𝖳𝖤 — happy new year & rn im screaming crying bc here it is! my first fic after march 30th. please do enjoy to your heart's content~

𝖶𝖮𝖱𝖣 𝖢𝖮𝖴𝖭𝖳 — 3.0k words, partially proofread

CHECK OUT HALF AN HOUR FOR LOVE, OVERVIEW.

Japanese terminology; kamuro - a female child servant who serves courtesans temporarily until they graduate. shinzō - a young female servant, older than the kamuros, who also serves courtesans but has now been fully bought by the brothel. one/ne - to refer an older sister. obasan - "aunt" or "middle-aged woman" in Japanese. kitsune no yomeiri - a folktale about foxes having a wedding. The belief varies between being a good omen or a bad omen. nanakorobi yaoki - Japanese proverb for resilience. kanji - Japanese writing system in the form of borrowed Chinese characters.

Honorifics; chan - Term of endearment. san - One with respect. sama - One with higher respect and is formal. dono - Literally used like "My lord." ue - Denotes a high status.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

It poured rain that day; paint the skies with suspense and tension between the pristine clouds, a sunshower. When a beloved shinzō gingerly applied a sweet shade of peach blush to your cheeks and covered your face in salient white powder; stroking bold, black liner to your lower lid with a thin brush as to regard high standards of beauty whilst you remain aimless to admire the falling drops of water hit the eaves of your dormitory—drip back to the ground. You were at the least comforted with the weather's appearance coming abroad to stay as your companion, however still, oh so not much relaxed with the hour of your wedding ticks close to its arrival. You didn't even have a single chance to know who is taking your hand in marriage, for goodness sake. A subtly, a few weeks back you were informed by a close woman that a fine gentleman is likely interested in getting committed to you...

You've perk at the voice of the 30-year-old shinzō. In question, belongs to beloved friendly Akashi. Genuinely the definition of safe haven in your case if it counts close friends. "Oi, Jun'ai! A fine fellow been's collective to have you as his own, aren't you aware? Madam-sama does keeping 'em around too! By the teahouse." Her accent's rough and undoubtedly native to common farm villages—and also not forgetting to mention that charisma's energetic and careless as ever today, without a doubt of surprise of course. And bright yells as the poor Akashi had such terrible hearing, she'll never know how loud she is. Gushing you over to the area, finding the old lady herself amidst the aftermath of such agreement, dare say. There's a signed paper with extravagant black ink, strokes elegant front of the elder—smirking with pride regardless of you chiming in to inquire about the stranger.

Who, you may ask, but she simply says that it's best to keep it a surprise… You weren't able to keep composure since that day.

As who does that?! Outrageous, utterly outrageous, you'd whisper harsh mutters only thinking about it even a single time in a day. Oftentimes resist the urge of cursing at that damn woman for casting you aside in saving grace for the brothel's funding and, many of other's finances.

Eyeing your dear assistant tuck delicate, golden pins and fine décor to your lovely hair—all you can do in anticipation was hope he was also a good-looking, refined man who wasn't either younger or older than your age. Preferably of status, sure, that's a most likely. He manages to pay double the amount for you to leave your workplace, after all. He has to be, otherwise you're immediately disappointed by your own lack of judgement. You need to be a lot more cruel to yourself, but it hurts plentiful.

"...Nee-san? Are you feeling okay?" Voiced the young 14-year-old. Who consist attentive to adding your makeup to the delicate skin and face. Her face visuals a pit of worry you'd rarely see in this type of workload. You weren't even sure how to react. "I will be all right," Is what you answered reluctantly.

But the shinzō knew you best.

She was drowning into you eyes a lot more personal, and, rather heartwarming. A sigh. "Ōnami-chan, I beg. It's not of high relevance..."

"If it refers to you, then it has to be." The younger girl insists while she timid to touch your sleeve. Still much a grown-up child, sometimes you forget that too... Your fingers met the scalp of your head out of stress and uncertainty of what to put it. "...Trust me now. This can be excused." Despite having this unsaturated need to tell your closest servant everything without regard and loosening the grasps of staying ideally perfect, no complaints.

The only thing you were to offer in the end was a weightless fondle in her neat hair. Affection like being a genuine member of one's family or just reassuring an immature girl who, yes—older and very well more aware, still innocent and a tiny tad bit of cluelessness. Two reasons can go a long way.

Perhaps she wondered to your conflicted state as to why the reaction. The situation at hand is, at least by an outsider's perspective, is dream-like. Watching her older sister, the woman she has served since childhood to be married off to some well-known or not handsome noble of the court. What fantasy, unfortunately it's our reality.

"Nee-san, do you adore him to some degree?" How where you to speak to a question as broad and vague as this... That you were obviously not into a man that you didn't even knew existed, how could one love? "To be frank, I am not the most interested..." Even when the life of nobility and esteemed high ranks sound greatly to one's likely. "I can't help imagine but break the poor man's heart sooner or later if it so be it. Either that or potentially unhappy in my own marriage."

"Will I last more than a month there?"

The answer to such is as unclear as midday mist, compared at even evening's pouring drops of rain.

"...Do me a favor, Ōnami-chan. Visit me once in a while—let's say every other month. Then, must you always be sure that I am well and whether or not I'm returning back to this life. I'll write a letter to a buddhist temple in case."

It was too much to do out your own distrust and anxiety in him, of course. Maybe you're exaggerating, and yet only can the Gods know what may happen in time's passing. The most richest people of them all tends to be the nastiest... Heeding your words, the shinzō smiles.

"Okay!" A certain heartfelt warm in your veins. The little girl Ōnami was sure to keep that to her mind.

With the bare minimum of excitement inside of your heart, you've scurry yourself out of the brothel as a final leave to your old world into the carriage—hurriedly saying spoken goodbyes to the kind workers and fellow courtesans, the sweet little kamuros reckless to play out their times in the stunning gardens and hardworking shinzōs… And, yes, of course—do not forget your Obasan on the way. She might as well demean your name quicker in the whorehouse than disgracing the family bloodline and lineage. That out of your way at last, seated on the backseat as the couch leaves the Red Lantern District. To which, the moving world in the foreground of your eyes although you've went into a state of another faint reverie inside your head. On which the scenery fades and soon, a vivid trance that can only be described as unexplainable. Inexplicable dread to your veins just raises your discomfort knowing that you... You were living fine well enough. But... but of course! Why wouldn't the Madam accept such rising numbers on papers? What else was there to make of the situation than romanticise? You must be at least sicker than a loose serial killer.

Stiff optimism fixates your face. Looking out to the carrier and spot every little couple on the roads complete such mundane tasks together under the rain in a sake of not facing loneliness. You weren't sure of a word anymore on what to do. However, making these ceremonies intercept to that kind of point... Ah, how it sickens. The way of ill that's akin to the waves disrupt your unfortunate stomach during a sail travel. In all actuality—case in point—its sensation were although too alike to what you're going through at the moment attending to the wedding. The silence deafens you to a premature funeral! Hearing voices now seems a lot more comforting.

Alas, onwards moment's finality, the carriage stops to the relief of the body. Motion itself places to a hault and your entourage of men escorts you off the ride with the protection of an umbrella covering your head. Here's when your form itself took full stillness and enters a sort, self-control state. Your movements are gracious as ever but you're definitely not moving as to avail. You could only think what's to come. Relentless. Think of your life, over and endless until the head's decomposed itself into liquids. Not even the presence of the clan head's eldest child manages to snap you out of musing.

"...You should be the luxurious Jun'ai-san, is that correct?" The woman sat across the table from yours. She was calm and obviously held regard to such respect in the house as murmurs and shy stares from young maidens chatter about her in disclose, their own little fantasy, a kind of imagination you've grown used to from those disgusting men in the sex industry. What pigs. You've snapped back, forcing your head to the topic at hand as ahe serves the matcha tea. You nod, "Splendid. Then may you refer to me as Dazai Masako, if you will. I'm glad that you're able to make it to our humble mansion." You twinkle at her words and show signs of flattery—although having heard exchanges like these from wealthy clients in the past... "The pleasure is mine to meet you."

"I'm sure you're aware why I've arrived?" You inquire, to be more certain as Masako then flicks her head. Only for it to fade into a slight, disappointed frown. "...Marry my younger brother Osamu, yes, I'm acknowledged. Pardon my critique, however, kind lady. Except you're prohibited to fully engage with my son." Says the clan head's eldest—the sister—who... Pause, what? Hold on. Now hasn't the supervisor explained to you in person that the wedding's immediate? Today, in particular! "Yes, originally so." Masako clarifies, she gestures to an open windows. "Yet as you may noticed much earlier before entering the abode, the weather is not ideal. Therefore, shall it grant misfortune over the lovebirds and ruin the gathering for guests alike. My sincerest apologies..." White powder stains light to your fingertips as you can't foresee this day getting doubled the horrible! It's a tragedy... In your entire own sense, there is not a single opportunity at chance will you ride a half-soggy carriage of return. You didn't knew the folklore of kitsune no yomeiri migrated to Aomori as well. Dazai-ue continues,

"It would be our honour to offer the comfort hospitality of this house. And I suppose it shan't be an issue for you to see him at once. It surely have been long way here to Aomori, yes? We will discuss the formalities soon after meeting Osamu..." ...Roughly translates to tomorrow. The head of the clan's task for you to see him by now seems too easy, but it had to be some pity.

"...Yes." A reluctant answer to your rose-colored lips. Did the products still look good after cold winds meet the face? "How generous of you, ma'am. I prolong my gratitude. For I, can only but offer a mere humble."

It was what matters. You'll commit to this man whether or not you do fundamentally enjoy it—so might as well take a glance at his face. None double taking as you took another deep breath with a servant leading to his room, finally, you think. Meeting him for the first time, when that gluttonous madam of yours hide him from you. Left to the hands of a darling female maid as she takes you to where he resides, parade the prestigious, elegant halls of your presence and careful to approach that damn door and feast your pure eyes.

Said gentle-hearted patron proceeds to leave your wake upon reaching the door facing front of you right now, a polite bow. Gesturing her leave. and instead went off and serve his... Siblings? Assuming so. As your head catches sights of a small, worn-out family portrait next to the door. Clear to not tell which one is Dazai Osamu. Right, right. Your supposed've, soon-to-be husband and hand in marriage, The Dazai Osamu... It's quite bothersome—ponder what's so special about this name particularly and not the father's? Better question yet, why must every woman gossip with a slither of his mention among useless conversations? Now you can't get Dazai Osamu's name out of your head.

And for one reason.

The noise, bleak and rather frank done as if swift in action, behind you caught you off guard and the little silhouette of that man.

"...Dazai-dono, is that correct?" Is what you've been instinctively told by your own gut to try and receive the brunet noble's attention away from the stillness of beautiful ornamental flowers. Unbothered, frozen in the skilled crafts of capture life through the hands of clay and fine arts. Frightened to your snicker, he awkwardly reaches for his fallen smoking pipe. Well, that should be the one causing the single noise but how on earth is it so full of volume...? Can that be a thing?

"And who else shall it be, the one and only, sweetheart?"

His movements—grace akin to the shows of swan lakes and beautiful doves taking leap to the unknown heavens, clouds, and skies with free, open wings; and boundless to the world beneath thee. A skip to your chest, admiring his facial features—the vague dimples wrinkle his lips and stupid, horrendously stupid, smile. Divine mahogany eyes in the corners of an almond-shape and a few cute baby hairs hang behind those pine-shaded bangs. Dazai softly gestures yourself nearer to him, step on the higher platforms of his room, no matter of what status you are, maybe Dazai spoke quietly. Or forgot to use the mouth. The brunet-haired noble examines the physique of that body of yours and fondly admires your face, even though covered and hidden under all of that makeup, he manages to crack a small smirk. "Forgive me, but... Ah, you're... As beautiful as up close."

It's cost him an expense of his whole sense to control his nerves and desire to have you on his lap, held lovingly—darling—precious. Importantly, as embracing your beloved form to his closely as humanely possible. If you're ingenuous in allowing that off the bat... How shameless of him. "Ah, you must be humbling me, my lord. I don't deserve such remarks so early." Gently, you exclaim. Twist the fan to your liking and cover your mouth of kind elegance and timid meekness. By the celestial Gods above, he's head struck although you didn't start seducing the noble with your pretty long lashes... Dear, it stole the time to apply too! Infatuating. That's less time trying to appear loving to him, sure. Well...

It's hard to be doubtful that he does look to love you in those starry eyes and blunt browns. Even harder to imply whether or not if this factor relies importance.... Keeping close to.

"Oh but I am usually quite certain as to what I say whenever, lovely Jun'ai-chan. So to speak... I don't intend to be harsh." Dazai puts to rest his smoking pipe. Cast away soon after picking it up...

"Spare me a good time and listen, I beg, my dear Jun'ai-chan. I am absolutely certain that this must be the most abnormal thing you'll hear today—or ever—throughout your entire lifetime; yet I cannot be held back. Albeit the humble nature resides me, nanakorobi yaoki." Dazai offers his hand, and so you've placed yours in return soon after Dazai reaches to you. "...Since the parade weeks ago sitting adrift by spring's exposition, you've caught these eyes for yourself." Dazai starts. "I—I can't be helped, guilty as charged! But in its climax, I have hurried my legs to the brothel where you used to live. Then... Respectfully having you became a sort of necessity in my brain."

Who's to guess that this fine, handsome young noble is indeed this selfish—greedy?

Then again, who are you to reflect so hasty? Oh, no. How exactly must you put it with him? "What pleasure." You exclaim, feign shock. "In all truthfulness, I'm much more relieved in hearing those kinds of words from you at the moment..." ...And just what are you thinking?! Saying it dilly-dally won't save you from anything. "I'm not disapproving your ways, Dazai-dono. Matter of fact, I appreciate it." He completes a soft-spoken grin that's both boyish and ugly. Ugly in a way that's good-natured, and whole. Akin to the luminous burning sun which lasts eternal and hurts your eyes... Let us become a bit realistic here:

Dazai's hand takes the kettle of refreshing green tea into his hands then proceed to serve you a cup—along a charming smile. "What a merciful woman you are. I hadn't had a message that you were going to be a forgiving type... Well, shall I cherish upon wondrous setting beneath fallen sakura petals of early bloom; and pray to beloved heavens above—with a drenched heart—must it not go soon."

"A heart for poetry?" It's the first you've taken akin to catch on about Dazai.

A couplet, kind of freeform in a sense amidst those twin lines the noble recited with grace and honour.

"Indeed, belladonna. Let me ask you... As it soothes the soul countless of times, how can one not be compromised into the elegance, intricate, and exquisite lines?" To the rhythm of his voice, endear and charming, he takes a pen between two fingers and strokes across a random bit of paper next to Dazai in idle. "What touching words. I much agree." Was all you managed to reply. His writing was neat, written the kanji for what seems to read 'peafowl.' You felt flustered over closely admiring his movements, notably Dazai's fingers. "May we perform poems until the rising sun meets dew grass and kiss the windows clear?"

You weren't expecting your mouth to speak for itself. You only thought of so as light rain drips slowly and comes to a close. It's presumably the late night by now, time flew.

The young noble smiles with such tender elation at the suggestion at hand between him and you. "It'd be ill-mannered for me to decline, no?" He paints a small portrait of himself, modest, he is more than thrilled at your words, isn't he? Although it was basic splats of ink on paper arranged in a way of ornamental flowers Dazai admired his eyes to.

...Maybe you were being a little too arrogant about him.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

@wasdy-san, @inojuuy, @imkwikly, @nonexistence1199, @emyyy007, @coilai, @writingandmusing, @hypocritic-trash-baby

[acesw]

Knowing our Arcanists 13: Matilda

Welcome to entry thirteen of my series: "Knowing our Arcanists"! This is a series in which I introduce and tell the stories of our fellow characters in Reverse: 1999. Today we have: Matilda!

We love our girlfailure in this house. I think Matilda is heavily mischaracterized by the fandom, mainly defined by her silly tangents about Sonetto. But I think there's a lot more to her character than what we first see, so lets get started.

Matilda Bouanich is a French arcanist born in the 1990s. The arcane skill that she was born with is a variation of divination, well known as scrying or crystal ball divination. A young girl with a competitive spirit, Matilda is an incredibly active individual who takes pride in her abilities as a Foundation Investigator and Monitor Assistant.

She hails from the wealthy and famous Bouanich family, who are a long line of arcanists known for their divination skills. At a young age, she was an excellent performer in school and continuously worked to being the best of the best. After seeing one of their parades at the time, she decided to join the SPDM to prove her abilities despite being past the typical enrollment age.

She was able to move up levels and rise in ranks, becoming part of the top 3 students that performed well academically among her peers. Her prideful demeanor is fueled by her never-ending passion to compete against those above her, but most especially the school's top student at the time: Sonetto.

Sonetto was a student that Matilda especially admired, because she wanted to match (and even surpass) her in academic performance and skill. She worked endlessly to compete against her despite it being one-sided in nature, but always fell short due to her own arrogance. Over time, this competition became chase, with Matilda mostly wanting to find a reason to see and even befriend Sonetto.

At the same time, Matilda occasionally longed for the freedom she once had when she was younger, with having experienced the world outside before. Knowing that some of her classmates also yearned for it, she shared it with them under the familiar oak tree.

Despite it, Matilda chose to stay behind when the other kids planned their escape, since she had chosen to be confined within the white marble in the first place and didn't want to forsake the opportunity she was given. Perhaps she lived with the regret of not joining them, or with knowing she had an indirect hand to their downfall, but she could do nothing but move forward.

Once graduating she held onto her competitive and prideful demeanor, yet had to swallow some of it after being faced with not-so-ideal promotions. Her first mission in Mor Pankh greatly helped her move up and teach her about limits. Shamane, Kaalaa Baunaa, and Kanjira helped her learn the further extent of divination and what she could do with her scrying. And after her mission in San Francisco, we leave at a mysterious note where she's met with the disappearance of her own mother.

I think its been emphasized enough that Matilda has a lot of pride and ambition that its fundamental to her development as a character. Its her driving force in life and its the sort that never really goes away as she always wants to outdo whoever becomes her competitors. Its a great way for her to motivate herself when she's against all the odds.

However, this also tends to come to a fault where that pride becomes arrogance, and makes her often have shortcomings. One example would be her never being able to best Sonetto in school or always failing to confront her properly due to being easily flustered around her.

Neither Matilda's pride or her arrogance makes her a mean person. If anything, she's actually very kind and understanding, especially with her friends. Even if she struggles to swallow that pride when she has to, she wouldn't want to risk hurting her friends in turn. She's fully aware of the extent of hurt that the people around her experience, and wishes to help them in ways outside of her scrying abilities.

This ambition to compete may be rooted from her experiences growing up, where she rarely had much attention from her parents and other family besides when she performs academically well, and losing the only person (her grandfather) who really paid attention to her up until he passed away. Even then, she continues to have a lot of love for her own family and hopes to be able to protect them as an investigator.

Over time and meeting more guides and friends, Matilda will keep learning as she grows up. Perhaps with it she'll be able to achieve what she's always wanted to do, and easily surpass not only her friendly competitors, but also the enemies she'll face later on.

[suugarbabe]

You are SO amazing love, never let anyone tell you any different. I WILL fight them 😤

Tysm for considering wolfstar!daughter, i think youd enjoy the current fics that are currently out for it. Most of them are x fred or george and it just reminds me of you everytime.

Sorry, this is probs going to be long 😬

For the prompt though, i imagine they came about reader when remus found her on a full moon as a toddler werewolf, abandond in the forest (last yr hogwarts or graduated doesnt matter, whatever you decide) and when Sirius finally finds Remus the next morning he's shocked, confused, and then melts. Big, tall, broard Remus has this small bundle of cuteness wrapped in his sweater trying to cuddle into him.

Whether youd like to continue on from there or do reader growing up or a time skip is up to you. Same as if James dies or not, whatever your brilliant mind decides 🧡 but if it helps this is how i see the family dynamic:

I think Sirius would be the overprotective kind of dad, never failing with that wonderful sense of dramatics!

While Remus is the calm voice of reason that talks himself down when he feels like he might be going a little overboard.

Of course we're Uncle Reggies little star, he will be mean to another child if they hurt you. He and James are constantly arguing over who's the better uncle.

James is the uncle that gives you alcohol illegally and doesnt adhere to a curfew.

So skip to hogwarts in some of the last years (im a ravenclaw so i always imagine reader as a ravenclaw but anyhouse would be fun to explore) and reader makes it official with Theo or Enzo. Harry's a tattle tale and tells his dad who then brags to Reggie, who the apparats him self the Sirius' to demand answers because "who was this vile thing that dared touch his star?? Boyfriend?!?! Fucking over his dead body!!" Fully expecting Sirius to agree with him. But he doesnt, he just sighs because at least they made it til 6th/7th yr before boys started, he'll give the poor boy a chance first. And then Remus bursts in and has a full meltdown. Thats his little wolf; his baby. She can have a boyfriend. A BOYFRIEND!?! He might puke. No this isnt allowed. Boys are gross. And nasty. And theyre going to hurt her. But not before he hurts them!! He's going to put the fear of godric into this boy! RIGHT NOW!! Wheres his wand? He needs to go to Hogwarts.

Its so unexpected that both Black brothers are frozen. Until Remus starts searching for his wand and Sirius has to calm him down while Regulus goads him on. And through all of it, reader and Enzo/Theo were standing at the door to 'meet the parents'.

And then however you want it to go from there love! So sorry that was soo long and rambely. Of couese no pressure to write it and take whatever creative liberties youd like!!

Thank you love x

The group had made an agreement that the girls would all get a flat together, as would the boys. So naturally Sirius, James and Remus planned and found one for themselves that was 'absolutely perfect' as Sirius put it since it back right up to a large patch of woods; 'Perfect for you, Moony'.

In the moment Remus had rolled his eyes, but truly he was thankful. By the last full moon of school, Remus had managed to transform back to himself without completely passing out. After the fourth full moon in the flat, Remus was able to still decently function after his transformations.

What neither Sirius nor James expected happened and they didn't know how to react initially. Sirius and James had lost sight of Remus toward the end of the night, now both transformed back to themselves looking for him.

When Sirius found him, he didn't expect the scene he walked upon. Remus shoulders were hunched over, and at first Sirius thought he was crying. But the closer he got, he realized it was not Remus making those noises, but...a child?

"Moony...what the bloody hell is that," Sirius voice was cautious, he was still convinced he might be hallucinating.

Remus turned around slowly, "She's like me, Pads. She...she was a tiny little wolf, I swear it." Sirius was skeptical, but the way Remus was looking down at you, every doubt was melting away. The way your tiny hands gripped on to Remus's sweater.

When Sirius got close enough, you reached out for him, and he was done for. When James caught up with the pair he had the same initial reaction. But like Sirius, one look at you and he was also convinced.

It had taken the girls no time to swoon after you, and the boys were forever grateful. While Remus declared himself your father (Sirius demanding his was Dad number 2). James became your fun uncle (funcle as he called himself, Lily rolling her eyes each time).

To say it had taken a village was not just a cliché, but reality. Sirius was every over protective father, having a flair for the dramatics any time anything happened, good or bad. Remus was more calm, essentially the voice of reason when Sirius was talking circles. You eventually became the perfect mix of the two, which they both loved.

When you got your Hogwarts letter Sirius threw a party, Remus thinking it was a little over the top but Sirius insisted, "Our little star got her letter, we're celebrating Moony." Regulus had brought you off to the side, insisting you owl him if anyone is mean to you, he'll come and fix it, "Even if it's another little twat kid, you let me know, okay Star?"

After fourth year, James let you try his beer for the first time. Sirius lost his mind, Remus reminded Sirius how much worse he was at your age and that if James was letting her try it that it was a better situation than he used to get in to.

What you didn't expect was the commotion that ensued during Christmas holiday seventh year. It was tradition for you and your dads to throw a party on Christmas Eve. You were putting the final touches on the Christmas biscuits you usually made when a loud pop sounded in the living room.

"SIRIUS GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE NOW!" The voice of Regulus rang throughout your house and you instantly froze. Sirius sauntered in, not bothered by his younger brothers tone, "Seriously, with the shouting Reg, what is it now?"

Regulus looked over Sirius shoulder at you in the kitchen before turning back to his brother, "How could you let her, huh? How could you let her do this, with a Slytherin no less? My little star? Who is this vile snake you've let touch our little girl, a boyfriend, Sirius, really?"

You held your breath, fully expecting your dad to lose it, go full on dramatics, but instead he just pinched the bridge of his nose, "Honestly, Reg, calm down. I'm surprised it took us till seventh year for her to finally decide to get a boyfriend, don't get me wrong, I'm thankful," he turned pointing at you, "but I trust her, Reg. And you should too. She's not like us. Really though, darling, a Slytherin?"

Sirius turned to face you and all you could muster was a shrug of your shoulders before your father burst in. "WHAT did I just hear? My wolf has a WHAT? With a WHO? Darling are you mad, who is this boy? A boyfriend? Oh my Godric, I think I'm going to be sick. Who is he, star? Who, tell me now. I'm getting my wand. Sirius, my wand now."

Remus held out his hand expectantly, but nothing happened. Both Regulus and Sirius stood frozen, mouths agape at Remus's reaction before a sly smirk crawled its way onto Sirius's features, "Oh my my, Moony, this is a sight."

At that moment the Potter's all appeared, the air obviously thick with tension. James looked between his friends, "Oi, what did we miss?"

When you saw Harry you were instantly enraged, your inherant traits from Sirius coming in to play, "You little fucking rat, you weasel, you knew I was going to tell them over break, how could you tell Reggie before I could tell my parents, I'll hex you Potter, I swear it!"

You started after Harry, only for James's strong arms to lift you up by the waist and hold you tight, "Woah there, mini Sirius, calm down. I think this might be my fault. Harry told me out of concern and I might have boasted about your feats to Reggie."

You went slump in your Uncle's grasp, "Uncle Jamie...how could you." You were pouting as he sat you down, giving you a tight hug, "I'm sorry, star, I was just so dang proud of you."

You looked over at your parents, Sirius now rubbing Remus's back who was pinching the bridge of his nose. There was a knock on the door, causing everyone's attention to switch towards the distrubance.

Walking towards the door, you looked back with your hand on the handle, "Be nice." The marauders and Harry held up their hands in defense, Regulus crossed his, "No promises."

When you opened the door, Enzo stood there, cheeks slightly pink. "Erm, are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" You laughed slightly out of embarrassment, "How much did you hear exactly?"

"Enough to know I'm more afraid of Professor Lupin than Sirius," he whispered as he followed you through the door.

"Dad, Father, this is Enzo. My boyfriend," You gestured toward Enzo who gave a shy wave.

Remus placed his hand on his own chest, "Oh thank god it's Berkshire. I was really worried, star dear. Really worried. Thought maybe it was going to be the Nott boy."

This caused both you and Enzo to laugh, Enzo speaking up finally, "Merlin, no, sir. Nott's afraid of Y/n actually. So you've done a good job."

"Don't start kissing ass just yet, Berkshire," Regulus stuck a finger out at the boy.

"Uncle Reggie. Behave," you scolded him like a child, he looked down at the floor like one, too.

Sirius stepped forward, extending his hand, "So sorry, my boy. I'm Sirius, Y/n's father. You've met Moony, erm, Professor Lupin, her dad. He's sorry for anything you may have heard through the door."

Enzo grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly, "It's alright, sir. It's a pleasure to meet the men who've raised such a strong woman." Enzo smiled at you affectionately, causing you to blush in front of your family.

"Look at that, Moons. Our little star is growing up," Sirius wiped a faked fear, while Remus was holding back real ones.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose like your dad had done earlier, "Alright, who's hungry, hmm? Shall we eat?" You led Enzo towards the large table. Everyone followed suit, both Regulus and Remus grumbling slightly.

As you sat down, Enzo gave your thigh a squeeze. He leaned over and whispered in your ear, "Star, huh? That's cute." You side-eyed him, giving him a slight glare, "You tell anyone, you're a dead man."

Enzo grinned to himself, "It'd be an honor to die by your hands, love."

Across the table, Sirius gave Remus's thigh a squeeze, "She's growing up, Moons. Our little star." Remus nodded, pouring himself some brandy, "That she is, Pads. Our little wolf is a woman now." Sirius scoffed, "She still needs us though right?" Remus nodded, smiling, "We'll always be there for her."

[drdemonprince]

so I totally get that grad school is horrible and expensive and exploitative— but my question is what is the alternative? I have an undergrad degree in anthropology (focusing on language and disability, mostly in the US, in part to flip the script of exploitation and extractivism in anthropology) and have spent some of years outside of academia, which has also not been a great time for me. It also seems like in order to do anything anthropology related you need a PhD; I have also been in the process of applying for PhD programs. If we view grad school + academia as a job, which is all it fundamentally is (given you have funding; my plan is not to go anywhere that will not fund me), what makes this so specially horrible? Isn’t it a gift and a huge privilege to be able to, even if it’s not much money, spend time learning about things and teaching others? And what would you suggest people who are thinking about grad school do instead?

So, the thing is, very few people work in anthropology jobs.

There are very very very few anthropology jobs in the world.

The vast vast majority of people with anthropology degrees do not work in anthropology, including most of the people with Master's in the subject and many of the PhDs. Just like the majority of people with psychology degrees do not work in psychology, the majority of history-degree-havers don't work in history, and on and on.

This is part of what makes academia such a predatory and hierarchical scheme: academic departments require hundreds of new undergraduates to major in their subjects and take their classes each year, in order for them to generate enough revenue to hire instructors, fund research, and continue to operate. A very limited number of teaching staff and researchers are actually needed relative to the number of people who are taking these classes and getting these degrees -- and the number of tenured positions has been on a sharp decline since the 1980s and gets worse literally every year, so the odds of getting a career in one's chosen field of study only worsen over time as more people graduate.

Getting an advanced degree in anthropology is far from a guarantee that you will get a job working in anthropology. The job placement statistics for that field are pretty brutal. Some are worse (say, art history, or english), but it's still pretty bad. You'll likely have to apply to hundreds of jobs and be willing to move anywhere in the world that will have you if you want to ensure you get a job in that field after graduation from your PhD program.

Now, to your point, the only way to have a hope of getting to do the anthropological work you are interested in is by getting that PhD, for the most part. And if you are applying to funded PhD programs, you will get paid (very shittily) and incur no debt (a major plus) along the way.

I generally recommend that someone only consider going to graduate school if they are able to be fully funded in that way. My social psychology PhD was fully funded and that is what has made it possible for me to have the life I have today.

BUT

I was also terribly exploited and overworked along the way, causing me lasting trauma and physical illness and I would not ever do it again.

I'm one of the luckiest people i know, academically speaking -- I have no debt, an advanced degree, and a job in my field of study within academia. And I STILL wouldn't do that shit again. It was horrible for my mental health, social life, physical health, political awareness, and self-concept at every level. I succeeded in doing what academic study trains you to do -- become a professor -- only to realize along the way that I didn't actually want it anymore, it wasn't what i thought it was, and that it wasn't good for me.

And once you have that PhD in a highly specialized field, you generally have very few other career options should you decide that academia is not for you.

Looking at your own life and priorities, you might decide that the only way to get a *chance* of working in anthropology is by pursuing a PhD, and you love the field and long for that chance so strongly that it's worth throwing the dice (and getting some free schooling while you do so).

That's fine! That might be the rightest option for you.

I just want to make sure that you and everyone else knows exactly what a gamble they are taking when they make that decision -- and even more importantly, I wish that all undergraduates who pick majors like psychology, art history, anthropology, sociology, french, etc knew they were being used as a revenue source and studying a field they in all statistical likelihood will never get the chance to ever work in.

It's a pyramid scheme.

[lemonsdaydreams]

breaking the distance. |c.b|

summary: You and Colby have been dating for nearly two years, enduring long distance and making the best out of time zones and chaotic work/ school schedules. The two of you knew one day the distance would be shortened to where there would be no more planes needed to see each other, and date night could finally be more than just facetiming and watching a movie together at the same time. One of you just happened to know it would be happening sooner rather than later.

~*~*~*~*~*~

No one ever expected Colby and I’s relationship to last, and I couldn’t really blame them. On the outside looking in, It seemed like it was a storm waiting to happen. Colby, a very well known social media content creator, constantly traveling and investigating new locations with his best friend in and outside the country, and lives on the west coast of the united states. Me, a non social media content creator, studying emergency paramedicine, lives on the east coast, and never even had a passport until two months ago. The main thing people always loved to throw at us was the distance. ‘Why date someone who lives a 5 hour plane ride away, when there’s plenty of people here in the same state for you to choose from?’

I personally didn’t fully expect us to be where we are right now when I met Colby over two years ago. It’s crazy how things happen though, how quickly you connect with a person. It’s as if I’d known him my whole life, as if I was connecting with an old friend I hadn’t seen in years that night at the bar. We talked and talked for hours, the rest of the crowded bar tuned out and all I saw was him. Colby and his friends he had traveled to the east coast with a few days later after we first ended up coming over to my apartment for a game night after constantly texting and getting to know each other more. Ironically, one of his friends that came with him, I knew from my childhood. Talk about a small world.

The buzzing of my cellphone in my hand snapped me out of the daydream I was in. A smile quickly spread across my face as I spotted Colby’s name on the caller ID before answering.

“Finally waking up, Mr. Brock?” I smiled as I held the phone to my ear.

“I’m so sorry beautiful, I slept through my alarm. I totally planned on waking up earlier to be able to talk to you in case you began to stress over your exam today.” His morning voice was something that always caught me off guard, the deep rasp. It always made me yearn for the day I’d be able to hear it in person, and not over the phone.

Of course over the past two years we’ve met up and spent time together, however it was usually when him and Sam were on a trip to film or when I had a small break between semesters at school and could afford to visit him.

“It’s okay Colby, I promise.” I smiled to myself and attempted to contain my excitement as I scanned the empty apartment once more. “I’ve been just cleaning and relaxing on the couch. I think if I tried reading any more of my textbooks my eyeballs might fall out of my head.”

Colby chuckled as my apartment door swung open, and I quickly muted myself as Seth, the friend of Colby’s that I’ve known since childhood came in. “Who’s ready to mo- oh shit, are you on the phone?” He quickly covered his mouth with a hand.

“Yeah, with Colby.” I giggled before giving him a ‘shh’ and taking myself off mute.

“You’re going to do great. You always do great. This is the final bridge needing to be crossed and then I’ll be able to have you in my arms every night and hear about the crazy encounters you have at work in person. God, I can’t wait for that to be real, beautiful. I miss you so much.”

“I can’t believe that it’s finally here. Just this semester and then I’m done, graduated, nationally registered to work anywhere in the country. By the way, My supervisor reached out to the base that’s not far from where you live, and they have an open paramedic spot that is up for grabs.” I bit my bottom lip and glanced at Seth who also shared the same nervous look.

I’ve always hated lying, and lying to Colby these past few months have been absolute torture. But he’s always the one surprising me, I wanted to finally surprise him. I ended up taking an earlier program that Colby didn’t know about, which allowed me to graduate and become a paramedic three months ago. However, Colby still thought I had another two months to go. During this time since finishing school, I’ve been working and studying protocols for the state I’d be moving to, coordinating with Sam on shipping my stuff to Vegas from New England without Colby seeing the boxes, selling stuff I don’t need to bring, and basically getting ready to move to Vegas. Of course, Colby knew this day would be coming, as we have a whole checklist we share on google docs to make sure we have everything lined up for when the day comes, He just doesn’t know it’s happening sooner. Or that I’m going to be there, in like 12 hours.

“Baby, Is it okay if I let you go? I can call you back later. I have to bring my phone to the apple store, I finally got an appointment to get my battery fixed.” I ran a hand through my hair, constantly reminding myself mentally the lying would be over soon.

“Oh good, I’m so glad you got that appointment babe, I have to get going anyway. Sam and I have to go meet up with some friends to film a video, but text or call me as soon as you finish your exam okay? I love you.”

After saying goodbye and hanging up, I groaned and laid back on the empty granite counter. “Dude, no wonder you hate lying. Thank god that wasn’t a facetime call or one look at your face and Colby would see your face and just know you were hiding something.” Seth chuckled and I flipped him the bird.

“Can we go get coffee before we head to the airport? This whole not having my own car thing sucks.” Seth chuckled once more before nodding and holding out his rental keys that I snatched out his hand before he could speak. “Yes, I’ll drive. You drive worse than my grandmother.”

~

“Now boarding Group A.”

“I’m really flying to Vegas without a return ticket.” I mumbled as I handed my ticket to the flight attendant at the gate. I glanced over my shoulder at Seth who stood behind me, laughing. “You’re finally moving to Vegas. Which means Sam and I won’t have to hear Colby talk about how much he misses your voice all the time and try to figure out what haunted places we could go see near where you live.”

“Are you sure he won’t question why my phone is off for over five hours? I mean we don’t talk on the phone all day every day, but we usually check in over text to say Hi and that we miss each other or something. I don’t think a phone battery replacement would take five hours.” I buckled my seatbelt once Seth and I got to our assigned seats. “You seriously worry too much.” Seth patted my hand as he smiled. “We’ve got it all figured out. He isn’t going to have any time to check his phone with what they’re filming.”

“This is going to be a long ass five hours, Seth. This is why teleportation should be a thing. I could already be there, with Colby.” I sighed as I turned to look out the window, anxiously tapping my foot on the ground. Seth laughed and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him hold his phone out to take a photo.

“Don’t you dare post that.” I looked at him wide eyed, which caused Seth to laugh more. “Relax, It’s a video. For memories.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms across my chest. “Should I yell it out now that you’re a paramedic, just in case there’s a medical emergency?”

“Don’t you dare. I’m too nervous to provide any care, nor do I want to start my career as a medic off by taking care of someone on a plane. Why aren’t we moving yet?” I peered up and around the seats, huffing as I noticed not everyone was seated.

“God this is going to be so funny to look back on.” Seth mumbled as he put his phone down.

~*~

“I’ve got all your stuff in the storage unit, and your car should be arriving in the next few days.” Sam smiled as he drove Seth and I from the airport. Colby was back at the house editing and thinking Sam had just gone out to get food for the two of them. “It’s really good to finally see you, by the way. Colby is going to lose his mind.”

“I’m so nervous.” I mumbled looking out the window of the car and taking in the change of scenery. “He thinks I’m still in my exam right now.”

“Oh I know. Dude is a love sick puppy right now.” Sam laughs and gives me a smile. “Once we get to the house, I’m going to go inside to ask Colby to come out and help me grab some stuff from my car, but in reality it will only be you.” He added while Seth readjusted the camera on the dash of the car. I nodded and prayed we’d be arriving at the house soon.

Once at the house, I laid down in the back seat of the car to hide until Colby came out. “Yeah it’s on the passenger side in the back, If you can just grab it for me as well as the camera!” Sam called out, signaling that Colby was coming my way. Before I knew it, the door was swung open and I quickly sat up and smiled as my eyes landed on Colby. “Surprise!”

Colby stared in shock for a moment, eyes wide with confusion. Next thing I knew, He was grabbing my legs and pulling me out of the vehicle and up into his arms. My arms quickly wrapped around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my legs around him as he held me. “What is going on?” Colby yelled out, turning to glance at his friends back at the doorway before slamming the car door and moving so I was pressed against it and using one of his hands to pull my head back so he could see my face. “You have an exam?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Baby.” I laughed softly. “Oh my gosh I’ve absolutely hated lying to you. I graduated early, That’s why I was so busy over break and couldn’t see you. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you by being able to finally be here sooner than you thought.” I cupped his face in my hands and blinking back tears as I finally got a good look at him. “I can’t believe I’m here.”

“I missed your graduation?” He frowned, resting his forehead against mine. “I’m so confused baby.” He quickly closed the distance between us and kissed me gently. “But dear god have I been dying to kiss you.” He mumbled against my lips.

“No, It was a winter graduation so there’s no walk you didn’t miss anything.” I kissed him once more. “But I’m here. no more distance. It’s finally broken.” I ran a hand through his hair as I stared into his blue eyes. Colby pulled me closer once more and began kissing me again, deeper this time before beginning to head towards the house. “You guys should probably head our for a while.” Colby mumbled as he passed Sam and Seth, his gaze still set on me. “Already planned on it. We’ll be back later. Welcome home!” Sam called out as Colby walked away from them, still carrying me. I let out a small laugh and began kissing Colby’s cheeks and playing with his hair at the nape of his neck.

“I can’t believe you lied.” Colby fake pouted as he gently tossed me on his, ours now, bed before climbing on top of me. “But it was so worth it.” He mumbled before kissing me. “Now it’s time for me to welcome you home.” He smirked.