#so i think ben has two (2) people that care about him. at least at this point

[simptasia]

rewatching season 3 and tom genuinely cares about ben’s well being

[imfinereallyy]

Father Figures

pt. 2 here, and full version on ao3 here

The first time James Edward Hopper meets Steve Harrington is when Steve is thirteen years old. It is back when he is still pushing everyone to call him Chief Hopper, or at the very least James to sound more professional. It is mostly a lost cause, as he has just returned to Hawkins after his daughter Sarah's death and most people can't help but call him Jim and Hop in familiarity, in sympathy.

It didn't mean they didn't take him any less seriously though. In fact, his cold, grieving demeanor gave him quite the reputation around town. Made assholes like Lenny Byers and troublemakers like the little twerp Munson turn in the other direction when they see him. So Jim doesn't try to push the professional name too much. He knows people around here respect him.

They respect him enough to follow his word, they respect him enough to turn a blind eye when he takes an extra pill or two.

Jim doesn't think too deeply about his reputation until he meets Steve Harrington for the first time.

He gets a call from Benny. It's directly to his line at the station, instead of a general 911 call. He doesn't think much of it when he answers, most likely it was a non emergency from an old friend from high school. That's the only reason people call him most days.

"Chief Hopper. Make it quick."

"Jimmy." A deep, worried breath comes from the phone.

Jim immediately straightens. "Benny, what's wrong?"

Benny usually only calls for a laugh, or to invite him out for a drink. The guy doesn't care about too much, or ask too many questions. Hearing concern in his voice was alarming, to say the least. "Listen, Hop, there is a kid here. And normally I don't care, cause business is business, but it's two in the morning, Jimmy. And despite the kid wearing the most expensive pair of sneakers I have ever seen, he only has two dollars on him for a meal. He got all skittish when the plate landed too loudly. And I don't know..." Benny takes a deep breath before he continues. "...I just don't want to be at fault if this kid's trouble and some fancy parents come looking for him."

Jim can tell Benny wants to say something else, he doesn't push though. Jim Hopper tries to never ask too many questions.

"Alright Ben, I'll be there in ten."

———

When Jim arrives at the diner, Benny notices him and nods in the direction of the corner booth. And there, sitting with his head low and scarfing down a plate of fries is Steve Harrington.

Jim has never met the kid personally, but he knows his parents. Cold, calculating, and pretty much owns half of Hawkins. Jim is starting to understand why Benny has called him.

Jim slides into the booth across from the young boy. He's prepared to take the kid by the back of his shirt and drag him out of there. He doesn't need these kids to be causing hard-working people any trouble. But when Jim makes a thump in the booth, the Harrington kid's face snaps up in fear, and Jim's plan for an angry monologue just drops.

Because there, on Steve Harrington's jaw, is a bruise the size of Indiana itself. Jim's face remains gruff, but his body language softens. "Hey, kid. What are you doing here so late?"

Steve's posture remains stiff and small. "Sorry sir, I was just hungry and it was the only place open. I wasn't—I wasn't trying to cause trouble."

It's then, for the first time, Jim thinks that his reputation isn't one of respect. Instead, his reputation might something worse. Fear.

"Didn't think you were. Just wondering what a rich kid like you, is doing on this side of town, at this time of night." Jim doesn't say it like a question, just fact. He tries not to take it too personally when Harrington turns his bruised side in on himself.

"Would have uh—gotten something from home but we—I didn't have any food left. And by the time I was able to eat, everything else was closed."

"Able to eat—kid what are you rambling about. Let me call your parents to pick you up." Jim makes his way to stand but Steve grabs his wrist to pull him back.

"No! I mean—" he clears his throat "—not necessary sir. My parents left for a work trip tonight. I uh—don't have a number for you to call them anyway. They call me instead, they never have a solid line to contact. Nothing bad happens in Hawkins anyway, so it isn't something to worry about." The last line sounds practiced, like it is something repeated to Steve religiously enough it's become his own mantra.

Jim is starting to put it together. The waiting all day to eat. The bruise on his jaw. The lack of money for food. God, the kid probably walked six miles to get here.

Jim isn't stupid, he can connect the dots. But Jim also knows when not to push things. When not to rock the boat. When sometimes, even if it pains him, helping someone would be a lost cause. He thinks of Sarah briefly.

It's even worse when that lost cause is just a kid.

Jim decides maybe the best thing he can do for Steve at that moment is to ignore the obvious problem and offer him a bit of kindness. "Well, I can't have ya here this late. Could look bad for Benny. And we don't want to get Benny in trouble do we?"

Steve shakes his head immediately. "No Sir."

"Didn't think so. Why don't I drive you to the station? Don't worry I'm not arresting you. But we got a nice cot there, and you can get some rest. Then I'll drive you back in the morning when I clock out. Cause I'm still on duty and all. Can't be driving you back Loch Nora quite yet." Jim doesn't mention how he can see bags under Steve's eyes. He doesn't mention how it would be quicker to his house than to the station either. Jim maybe, just a little bit, wants to keep an eye on him. Even if it's only for a short time.

"It's okay I can walk—" Jim levels Steve with a look "—actually that sounds great. Thank you, Sir."

Jim nods with finality and starts to stand. "Oh and kid? Enough with that sir crap. I ain't Mr. Harrington." He almost says I'm not your dad. But that felt wrong somehow, giving Harrington senior that title.

"Okay, sir—I mean Hopper. Okay, Hopper."

---

As the years go by, James Edward Hopper keeps an eye out for Steven James Harrington (Yes he looks at his file for his full name. Yes, it makes him feel some sort of way he has his name as his middle name and not his father's. Richard would make a horrible middle name anyway). At first, it's drive-bys to see if anyone's home. Giving the kid a ride if he sees him walking. Swinging by a basketball game or two, to see how he's playing.

Then it turns into busting his ragers. Hauling him in for the night not to arrest him but to sober the kid up. Pulling him over for driving while intoxicated with that dumb Hagan boy.

Jim wants to be mad, he does. He even yells at Steve sometimes. But he can't find in him to be mean to him, not really. Not when he's pretty sure the only thing Steve has consumed in days is alcohol. Not when even though he has gotten much bigger, and the bruises are less visible, Steve never ceases to flinch when Jim grabs him.

So mostly, Jim either just drives him home or brings him in, giving him a sandwich and bed for the night.

Around when Steve is sixteen though, things get worse for Jim. He becomes more frustrated, with Steve, with his job, and with this town. He takes more pills. He neglects his job. He forgets Steve.

Then the Upside Down happens for the first time. Jim tries to better himself for Joyce and the kids. He mainly though does it for El. His second chance, his new reason for trying, his daughter.

Jim knows it's okay to get a little lost in taking care of her. That it's a good thing, and she deserves his full attention.

He does feel a bit of guilt though, after round two of the Upside Down. When Steve Harrington sits in Joyce Byer's living room, looking like he went ten rounds with a semi.

The kids are all over him (including Mike which shocks the hell out of him). Dustin is trying to stop the bleeding on his face, Lucas is holding ice against his head and even El, who Steve met for all of five minutes, is sitting beside him on the couch, holding his shoulder up. There is a look in El's eyes as she stares up at Steve. Like she can see through him, like she knows him. Like she understands him.

Jim feels his heart break a little.

He approaches Steve in a crouched position. "Hey kid, I think we better take you to a hospital. You look like shit." He is sure there is a better way to say it, but Jim Hopper is a blunt man and that was never going to change.

The redhead, Max, snorts. "That's honestly the nicest way to put it."

Steve glares, Jim can't decide if it's at him or the kids. "No. I'm okay."

Dustin shouts, "Steve you are most definitely not okay. Hop's right you look like shit—"

"Language."

Dustin ignores Steve, "—and that's just externally. Who knows what's going on internally."

"C'mon kid, I can drive ya." Jim moves to help him stand.

Steve bursts with anger and pushes Jim away. "I said no. And you're not my dad."

Jim's jaw tightens and he resists the urge to scream back: and thank god for that.

El speaks before he can yell back. "You're hurt." It's soft, it's demanding and it's so very El. Jim watches Steve crumble back into the couch.

His voice is rougher than before, but much more gentle, "No hospitals."

"Okay. At least let Joyce look at ya. She used to be a nurse." Jim puts a hand on his shoulder, careful not to jostle him.

"Okay, Hopper. Okay, Hop."

———

After that, for a little while, Jim tries to look out for Steve again. It's harder this time though. He's more independent and harder to catch sight of. When he does see him, one of the gremlins is around him, and he can't check-in. And Hop has El, and he can't neglect her in favor of Steve. He tries to balance it out, but in the end, Steve isn't his kid.

Jim finds a small loophole though, which is El herself.

He worries about her every she since she ran away and he didn't even notice. And he knows Steve, like him, has a soft spot for the kids. So under the guise of babysitting, Jim gets Steve in his cabin once a week. So someone other than Joyce or Jonathan (or horribly, mike) is spending time with her. Sure, he's not there to keep an eye out for Steve himself, but it's the closest he's going to get.

Besides, biological daughter or not, El is just like Jim. She has a habit of collecting strays. If it's not going to be him looking out for Steve, he can't think of anyone better for the job than his little girl.

———

After Starcourt, somewhere in a Russian prison, Jim thinks of Steve.

Every day, Jim thinks of El. Misses her. Longs to hear her laugh even longs to hear her yell back at him. Every day, Jim thinks of his daughter and mourns what could have been. But Jim knows she's being taken care of. Knows Joyce and the boys will love her, and take care of her. Make sure she knows nothing else but kindness.

He worries though, between those moments, about how there is no one there for Steve.

———

Months later, in Hawkins Memorial, Jim Hopper finds Steve Harrington in a hospital chair next to Eddie Munson's comatose body.

Jim has a lot of questions but doesn't get any of them out because suddenly Steve Harrington is right in front of him, sucking in a harsh "Hop," and then collapsing in Jim’s arms.

Jim holds him close, says nothing, and cries silently with him.

———

During the summer that follows, James Edward Hopper notices a change within Steven James Harrington. Despite the obvious PTSD the boy suffers, and the scars that litter his body, Steve is visibly happier than Jim has ever seen him. He laughs more, he openly cries more, and he loves more.

Steve's now living with Robin in a tiny two-bedroom downtown. He comes to family dinner with the entire party every Sunday. He shares a cup of tea (no more beer for either of them) and a cigarette every Thursday evening on the Byers-Hoppers front porch.

Most noticeably, the biggest difference Jim sees in Steve is Eddie Munson.

Jim once again isn't stupid. And despite being an ex-cop isn't a bigot (he couldn't find himself back at the force, the corruption is too much for him. And he himself, was never very good at his job). So he can easily come to the conclusion that Steve has a massive crush on Eddie Munson.

Dear. God.

It's not that he has a problem with Eddie being a boy, but it's the fact that out of all people he can choose from, Steve had to go and fall for the twerp who used to trip over his laces when running away from Jim for the third time.

Jim feels, after all the years of neglect that Steve faced, he could do so much better.

Steve is happy though for once, and Jim doesn't say anything at first. But it becomes so painful to watch. The lingering touches. The longing gazes. The nicknames (sweetheart, honey, dear god did he just say big boy—).

Nothing ever comes of it though, it's August and neither of them has done anything but pine. And Jim seems to be the only one who notices.

At first, he thinks it's cause everyone is being kind, and giving them room to explore themselves. But with everyone making jokes about Robin and Steve (from the kids) or Steve and Nancy (from Eddie), it seems like no one notices the excruciating flirting between the two.

(Except for maybe Robin, but Jim isn't quite sure Steve and she aren't one organism. He doesn't count her)

Still, Jim ignores it though. He has learned his listen from Mike and El. Getting involved makes everything worse.

That is until, the second week in August right before family dinner, when he finds Steve and Eddie early, sitting on the couch, with Eddie dabbing the blood off of Steve's face.

"What happened?" Jim is over on Steve's other side in an instant.

"Nothing Hop, it's stupid." Steve tries to shrug off, and he looks towards Eddie briefly.

Jim's vision, for a brief brief moment, is filled with unclear rage. It's enough to consume him and makes him impulsive. Jim can't help but think he got it wrong. Maybe the two are together, and Steve had fallen into a bad relationship. He knew that Eddie was trouble, but he didn't think about it being that kind.

And though he is being irrational, and being for once a little stupid, no one can really blame him when he hauls Eddie up by the collar and into his line of vision.

"Munson, did you put your goddamn hands on my kid?"

Jim can hear Joyce, El, and Will (the only other people in the house) all run out into the living room at the sheer volume of Jim's voice.

Steve sits frozen, Joyce and El yell at him to "put him down, oh my god."

And Munson? He starts to ramble.

"No. No! I would never, ever hurt anyone. Haven't we learned this by now? I can barely kill a spider. I have to put them in a cup and put them outside." Eddie chuckles nervously, waving his hands around frantically.

Jim's grip tightens and pulls him closer. He's pretty sure his vibrating at this point.

Suddenly though, Eddie becomes deathly serious. As if he just realizes what Hopper has said.

"Hop, I would lay down my life before I ever hurt Steve. There is no one in this world that deserves kindness more than him. And if I ever do hurt him, whether it be emotionally or physically, I give you full permission to beat me up. Hell, I'll probably throw myself at your fist."

Jim doesn't let go but stays silent as he listens.

"You see, Steve here decided to pull a you when some jerks wouldn't leave me alone at Family Video today. They were throwing around a bunch of slurs. Nothing I haven't heard before. And even though I could handle myself—“ Eddie gives Steve a look “Steve here always has to be the hero and decided to defend my honor. And of course, it just had to turn physical. And Steve decided to take on three guys on his own. Got to say though, he held his own. It was kinda hot honestly—"

Jim hears Steve choke a little beside them, startling him out of his frozen state.

"—And he only got a cut on his forehead from one of the dickwads class rings. I'm a little worried he has another concussion though. Believe me, Hop when I say, I am just as pissed at those guys as you."

At the end of his speech, Eddie calms down and even holds eye contact with Jim. He still doesn't let go of the twerp, despite being considerably less angry. Well, at least at Eddie.

It's Steve though that finally gets him to let go. "Dad, please put Eddie down."

Steve says it like it's nothing. Steve says it likes its the easiest thing in the world. But to Jim, to Jim it's the best thing he's gotten since El.

Instantaneously, Jim drops Eddie back on the ground and scoops Steve into a bone-crushing hug. "You got to stop scaring me like this kid. Can't lose you again."

Steve's almost his height now, so he tucks Steve's head into his shoulder and lays his head on top of his hair. He hears a muffled, wet "I'm sorry" against him.

Jim chokes back tears as he says, "No, no you got nothing to apologize for. Just be more careful. Okay?"

Steve releases himself from his hold and looks at him. "Okay, Hop. Okay, Dad."

Jim ruffles his hair without jostling his head too much. He thinks he would do anything for his kids. Including pushing along this nightmare of a pining contest.

"And if you like him I like him too."

"Huh?" Steve says confused.

"Eddie here. If you like him, then he's okay by me."

Steve goes to stop Jim, but he's already one step ahead. "But if he hurts you even in the slightest, you're watching me dig the grave I'm going to bury him in. Understand?"

Steve blushes from head to toe and nods frantically, knowing if he protests it will only make the conversation longer. The room is silent until Eddie speaks.

"Don't worry Hop, I'll dig the grave for you." Eddie's voice, despite the threat, is filled with delight, wonder, and hope.

My work here is done Jim thinks as he gives the boys one last nod and leaves the room.

And if later, if Jim sees Steve and Eddie holding hands at the dinner table he doesn't comment on it. And if he sees Eddie give Steve's knuckles a light kiss, and whisper something that almost looks like "I love you", he only smiles at the two boys. Because if one more person loves his boy, it's a win for him.

Because James Edward Hopper, thinks his son Steve deserves that and so much more.

———

okay I spent waaaay too much time on this (as per usual) but I wanted to dive in a little more on Steve and Hoppers relationship (and how it impacts Steve and Eddie). I feel like a lot of fics makes them distant friends (which is canonically correct I guess) or surrogate family with no explanation. And I like the idea of them slowing building a father son relationship. Really leaning into you choose your family. I know people have mixed feelings about Steve calling him Dad (honestly sometimes I too think it’s cringey) but sometimes I love it and that boy deserves a good father figure. Even though steddie doesn’t come in until the end, I think it all really blends together nicely. Also in my head either the boys are both out to each other, is at least it’s heavily implied or is a known safe space they are in. We do not support outing people in the house. It’s probably a one-shot, but maybe I’ll add more snippets later on. For now it felt like a good place to stop.

As always I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I just zoned out for like two hours as I wrote it. It kinda made me emotional I’m not going to lie.

part 2 here and the full version on ao3 here

[ladykailitha]

Around the World Part 6

Hello! And welcome to another chapter of this very underrated fic. Thank you to everyone who has given it love in the way of comments, reblogs/tags, and likes.

It's London calling! And we meet a Murray Bauman in the wild. Eddie and Steve get a little introspective and Steve does something rash.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

~

Their trip through the haunting and beautiful Ireland was amazing. So many tales and history. This is why Steve wanted to do more than just America like Eddie had originally wanted, because America just didn’t have the history Europe and other places did. Not unless you wanted to disturb actual First Nation people and that was something he wanted to avoid at all cost, thank you.

They were on the ferry from Northern Ireland to Scotland and Steve was looking out over his shoulder at the water as he leaned against the guardrail. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the wind to blow through his hair.

Eddie slid his arm around him and Steve laid his head on his shoulder.

Today Eddie had his beard and faux-dreadlocks in a light blue button up shirt and cream colored wide-legged pants. His chunky sunglasses covered the his face.

“You know,” Eddie murmured, “until we reached this leg of our journey and you started to disguise me, I didn’t realize how much I missed just being Eddie Munson, regular guy. I can really see the appeal of you and friends’ way of doing it.”

“Yeah,” Steve said softly. “Of course it means that we can’t go all out and buy everything we want, stay in fancy hotels, show up at restaurants without a reservation and get in. But I can go into my local grocery store and buy two tubs of mint ice cream because I felt like it.” He lifted his head to look Eddie in the eye. “Like some Karen would judge me, but it’s not going to go up on TMZ that I’m letting myself go.”

God, Eddie had had that happen more times than he cared to count. Like once Chrissy was on her period and he went to go get her chocolate, Ben and Jerry’s, and pads. Before he even got to his car it was all over the internet that he was letting himself go, just because it was 2am and his best friend needed something to help her feel better.

“You think you’ll ever come out?” he asked, pulling Steve in closer.

It was a familiar and well-worn topic of theirs; whether or not Steve would ever come out as bisexual at least.

He ducked his head and looked away. He didn’t know. He didn’t like hiding parts of himself for those he loved. He would like to tell people this is the love of my life.

“Would you leave me if I said no?” he mumbled, not daring to look up.

Eddie placed his finger under Steve’s chin and lifted his head gently. “Of course not, Stevie. There are literal actors who have been married for years and no one knows. It’s just between them. We could do that too. Just a quiet ceremony, Robin and Chrissy as the witnesses, and a justice of the peace.”

Steve let out a weak sort of watery laugh and shook his head. “I want all our friends there, famous and otherwise. I want a full tilt party with music playing into the early hours of the morning. I want fancy tuxes and flowers galore. I know I might not get that, the absolute coward that I am. But if I marry you, it be to scream from the rooftops that I love you.”

Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “Softy.” Steve blushed. “Besides there is nothing in the world that says we can’t have it both ways. Have a quiet little ‘just us’ and then go full tilt when you come out. You don’t even have to tell anyone. Just a little comfort that I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “I’ll think about it.”

Eddie kissed him deeply and then tucked his head under his chin and they stayed like that until the ferry docked in Scotland.

~

God, Scotland and England were beautiful countries Eddie decided as he watched the rolling green hills from his train window. That was another thing he really liked about Europe in general, just all the different ways to travel that weren’t a car.

He looked over at Steve who had his glasses on and reading a book. He smiled at the title. His boyfriend wasn’t a fantasy fan or science fiction either, really, but put a clever mystery in his hands and you would have to pry to the book from his cold, dead fingers.

He glanced over at Chrissy and Robin who were playing Go Fish! They had asked him if he wanted to join them, but he passed. He rarely got time to just relax and watch the scenery go by when he was on tour. He was always doing something related to the band. Writing music, practicing, talking about the next venue, interview, or TV spot.

Him and his friends had fun, because of course they did. But it was nice to just let his mind wander. Currently he was sad that they were going to have to miss Wales this time. He really wanted to buy some Welsh gold jewelry. It’s super rare and absolutely gorgeous.

Maybe he would have to come back later and get something special for Steve. Just something simple like matching bands even if it wasn’t on the left hand. Or necklaces. Just something simple to prove they were it for each other.

“I made an appointment with a well-known tattoo artist in London,” Steve said nonchalant, but like he was reading Eddie’s thoughts.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to Steve. Robin nearly giving herself whiplash in her speed.

“As your friend, manager, and platonic soulmate,” she said darkly, “I advise against that. You can cover it up but someone, somewhere will see it.”

Steve looked up from his book and leveled her with his best bitchy glare. “Not if it’s on my ass.”

Chrissy and Eddie’s eyebrows shot up and they shared a shocked glance. Eddie always loved tattoos, he had a couple of stick and poke style ones from when he was young and stupid and couldn’t afford to pay for an artist to do the job, but there was one place, well technically two if you included his dick, which he absolutely did, that he refused to get a tattoo on and that was his ass. Not being able to sit down properly for what would probably be weeks was not his idea of a good time.

“Not really, though, right?” Chrissy asked with a grimace.

Steve took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Of course not really. Sheesh, you guys. But I hid fucking hickies from the both of you for a year and you never noticed, so I’m pretty sure I can hide one fucking tattoo.”

Robin and Chrissy shared their little ‘manager’ glance and Chrissy folded first.

“You’re right, Steve,” she said calmly. “Not once did you forget or slip up and you should be applauded for that. But is there a reason you’re deciding to get a tattoo now instead of waiting until we’re back in the States and you can use Eddie’s personal artist?”

He looked over at Robin and their little telepathy thing went off again and this time Robin folded first.

“It’s for Eddie,” she murmured. “They can’t be out as a couple and with Steve being the romantic that he is, wouldn’t want to get married without all his friends there, so this is his way of telling Eddie he isn’t going anywhere either.”

Eddie blinked for a moment. “Do you think they take walk-ins?”

“I booked it for both of us.” Steve smiled at him and took his hand. Eddie beamed back at him.

“They are so disgustingly cute,” Robin huffed, crossing her arms. “I bet Steve has this really sweet idea for a tattoo that even if people do notice it they won’t be able to tell the meaning but he and Eddie will know and be so sickeningly precious about it.”

Eddie gave him a huge kiss on the cheek. “I love my super clever boyfriend and can’t wait to see what this brilliant plan is.”

~

Steve’s brilliant plan was half of a white mask on Eddie’s inner wrist and half of guitar on Steve’s and when they held hands it formed almost heart.

The tattoo artist was really impressed with the idea and was more than happy to implement it. Steve walked out of there, completely smug as Chrissy pointed out. Deservedly so.

They were to stay in London for three days because of all the haunted places in London alone, there were so many worth visiting. They were going to start at Jack the Ripper tour and move onto the tour of London.

The tour they learned with deep dismay had accidentally been scheduled at 2pm and not 2am like Eddie had thought it said. It was so boring and their tour guide so dull, Eddie accidentally tripped of one of those concrete pillars they had in the middle of the sidewalk to prevent cars from driving up on it.

“Oof!” Eddie wheezed as he straightened up. “Why do they even put those things here?”

“Chrissy Cunningham,” a nasally voice said from behind them. “What are you doing in my neck of the woods?”

They all turned slowly to see a weaselly little bald man with thick horn-rimmed glass.

“Holy shit,” Chrissy said slowly. “Murray Bauman, as I live and breath. What the hell are you doing in London?”

He shrugged. “Eking out a living doing tours for bored tourists. When the biggest metal band in the world drops you, so does everyone else.”

Chrissy and Eddie shared a grimace. Corroded Coffin had deliberately did that to Nancy after the shit she pulled with Steve and trying to be The Fallen’s agent. But this one was a complete accident.

“Oh fuck off,” Robin said with a grin. “You love it. I can tell. You have actual notes written down, you have a map marked with all the spots the murders take place. I bet you have all the great stories.”

Murray flushed and cocked his head to the side. “I mean I didn’t want to brag. But yeah, certainly better than Molly over there.” He jutted his thumb at their tour guide. “Most of the good ones are from tour companies and then you get people like Molly who make it look legit online and trick people into taking day tours.”

“God, I was so bored,” Eddie huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I felt jet lagged.”

Murray’s eyes instantly narrowed and cocked his head to the side and instantly everyone else tensed up. He took in their reactions and mimed zipping his mouth shut.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “if you’re still in town tomorrow, meet me here at 9pm and I’ll give you a proper tour.”

Chrissy licked her lips slowly. “Or what?”

“Huh?” He was confused for a moment before he smacked his forehead. “Oh! No, no. I’m not going to blackmail you. Holy shit. If people want to enjoy a vacation without all the publicity, good on them.” He looked Eddie up and down. “Looks good on you kid.”

Eddie was suddenly glad for the large sunglasses and beard because it hid the blush on his cheeks.

“No, I’m just saying,” Murray continued, “that if you wanted to experience a proper Jack the Ripper tour, I’m willing to do it. I don’t have a tour currently booked and beside I like her.” He pointed at Robin, who grinned back him.

The four them all shared glances at each other.

“I’m down,” Steve said with a shrug. “If you’re as good as you say you are and aren’t trying to actively ‘get back’ at Chrissy for taking your job, I know I’d be interested in seeing what Whitechapel has to offer after dark.”

“I like him too,” Murray said brightly, rubbing his hands together. “So what do the rest of you say?”

“Aye, aye, Captain!” Steve’s three menaces said together.

He just smiled fondly and shook his head.

~

Part 7 Part 8

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina

[an-au-blog]

The idea of Buggy giving out favors to guards for makeup is great but consider… consider…

A guard tossing a small package into Buggy’s cell, much to his confusion „You better fucking appreciate this clown, lots of people could get into real trouble if this came out yanno? Someone must really care about you.“ Buggy rips open the package, hoping there might be anything in there that will make this hellhole easier on him, only to be met with a makeup palette. The colors are smeared and the lipstick has been cut into tiny pieces, whichever guards needed to be bribed at least seemed to make sure there wasn’t a dagger somehow hidden in a small tube of lipstick it seems, but it’s all still usable. One of his cellmates cracks a joke about someone wanting Buggy to look like a pretty prison bitch for them all, making everyone cackle, to which he grumbles something akin to „prettier than you at least“ under his breath, before he takes a look at the tiny card that has fallen out of the parcel.

„Buggy. This is the best I can do on such short notice. Hang in there and don’t do anything irrational. -S“

And Buggy crushes the card in his hand and starts seriously planning his escape immediately. He knows what „Hang in there“ means in this context and he’s not gonna sit pretty and wait for Shanks to come rescue him, however he plans to do that. He appreciates that he got his shades right however

I would lie if I said I consider this omg yes! I can imagine Shanks getting news of his "not-exactly-boyfriend-but-maybe-hopefully-soon-to-be-husband" getting into impel down and thinking flopping himself on the couch like a victorian lady in deep disparity - dramatic and unnecessarily over the top. His entire crew is so curious as to what made him react like that because the captain was usually so calm about everything. Ben tells them it has to do with his childhood love or something which makes them even more confused.

Shanks pulls strings and finally has the makeup delivered. When Buggy gets it, he would never admit how grateful he felt for having at least something. He doesn't do his usual flashy full makeup because 1. it'll be harder to notice the change, and 2. he has to calculate how much he used it if he wanted it to last...

Some of the inmates kept pestering him about who sent this to him, why and if there would be more. He refused to answer but he slipped up with "as if I'd let that idiot break me out".

After he escaped with Luffy, Buggy couldn't help but think about how similar the two were. Which makes him remember exactly why he didn't want Shanks nowhere near him.

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

headcanons of Dean with a daughter?

This thought is vague, it occurred to me while I was sleeping.

Season 10: Dean as a demon is wandering with Crowley, one day Crowley tells the demon Dean that he has something to teach him, he has two people he wants Dean to meet. Dean is baffled, Sam and Cas are with the bunker. Who is Crowley talking about? Upon arriving at the indicated place, he sees a teenage girl of about 17 years old and also Ben. Who is that girl, what is she doing with Ben and how did they get there?

1)The girl is very similar to Cassie, the girl he fell in love with in season one, Crowley explains to Dean that when he saw Cassie again she did not tell him that they had a daughter together, Cassie did not want her daughter growing up with a hunter father and Cassie didn't want to drop the "you have a daughter" bomb on Dean, Cassie knew Dean had to leave, but the moment Dean left town, Azazel arrived, killed everyone (including Cassie) and Azazel kidnapped Dean's daughter so they could use her against Dean, but before even doing so Dean shoots Azazel in the cemetery (Den didn't find out about his daughter) so Dean's daughter was just left with the demons who was taking care of her while she was kidnapped, somehow the girl escaped from the demons and having no one, she jumped from orphanage to orphanage while getting involved in the life of the hunters.

2) Ben: After Cas wiped his memory, Lisa and Ben lived a normal life, until an evil angel (all while Dean is in purgatory), probably Naomi, kills Lisa and Ben's entire family and Naomi kidnaps to Ben, she gives Ben back the memories that Cas took from him and she wants to manipulate him to have something to blackmail Dean with, while Ben is kidnapped, Naomi brings him a hunter as a cellmate, Dean and Cassie's daughter, (Cas and Dean's daughter is 14 and Ben is 13) she is now a teenager/hunter quite angry with life because of what happened to her family. (Dean is Ben's biological father) Dean and Cassie's daughter works with her half-brother Ben to escape and they form this sibling bond. When they manage to escape from the angels, Ben has nowhere to go, his entire family is dead, so he begins hunting together with his half-sister, both agreeing that they do not want any relationship with their father, Dean Winchester.

3)In season 10 the girl is 17 years old, and Ben is 16, and both (again) are kidnapped by demons where they are taken to Demon!Dean. Crowley explains to Demon!Dean who they are (Crowley's plan was to use them for fun or as blackmail) but Dean, since he's a demon, is like "kill them both, I don't care." Ben and his sister are experts at escaping kidnappings and have really gotten good at hunting despite their young age, so they manage to escape. Dean becomes human and the first thing he does is tell Sam and Cas that he has two children but they probably hate him, Dean, Cas and Sam go out to find Dean's children

Well other than being super depressing (I love Lisa lol) this headcannon is so cool!

-Dean would be relentless searching for them after he was cured.

-it would take a while for them to warm up to him, but I think he would try to get closer to them by enlisting their help (he sees what good hunters they are, and he doesn’t want to put them in danger but he knows they’ll be hunting either way, so at least this way he can try to protect them)

-after working together for a while, the kids get really close to Dean and Sam and Cas.

-Dean tried to keep them on smaller hunts as much as he can in season 11, because The Darkness is just way too scary for him to think about his children fighting.

-they despise the men of letters in season 12, which makes Dean super proud.

-They ignore Mary so hard in season 12, because they see how much she’s avoiding Sam and Dean (Sam and Dean are smart, but they were too emotionally invested in their mother to realize what a jerk she was, but Dean’s kids are distant enough to see it)

-the kids LOVE Jack, and it freaks Dean out so much. Ben teaches Jack about cars (just like Dean taught him), and Dean’s daughter watches Star Wars with Jack.

-Dean always goes on hunts with his kids, because he hates the thought of not being their for them if something happened.

-Dean is actually so happy to see his two kids have such a strong sibling bond even if they don’t have the same mom.

[glorious-sunset]

Reflections on Ep. 2 of LBFAD on rewatch

Haotian Tower: Body-swapped with each other and unable to access their usual powers, neither DongFang QingCang (DFQC) nor Xiao Lanhua (XLH) are able to escape from Haotian Tower. Not realising whom she is dealing with, XLH defiantly pokes DFQC in the shoulder when he asks her to use his body’s energy to break the Haotian matrix. This is the first of many times she pushes him around, something nobody else would even dare to contemplate! :D

DFQC is able to effortlessly tap into and use XLH’s usual powers to much greater effect than she herself can - to her amazement! Using white energy similar to what she used in ep. 1 to fix destiny leaves, he creates invisible scissors to give her body a trendy haircut (ever the king of style!) “Don’t forget, your body is in benzuo’s (this seat of power’s) hands now”.

XLH, mocking his self-address, angrily retorts that “ben gu niang (this girl) is going to make you bald now!” The moment she angrily starts tugging at her hair is when he first notices the effect of the one-heart curse she cast on him, which causes him phantom physical pain even when body-swapped!

DFQC can’t stand the sight of his own face crying and covered in tears and his nose running, which is why for the very first time in history, he allows himself to submit to the will of someone who is threatening him. He painstakingly reattaches each individual hair strand using XLH’s usual powers, something she could never have achieved herself while in her own body! XLH now agrees to cooperate with him, slyly justifying that an escaped criminal should the problem of the heavenly high gods and soldiers, and she shouldn’t take this job away from them. “Xiao Hua Yao (little flower demon), you have some features of the Moon Tribe” DFQC tells her appraisingly. But however hard she tries, XLH can’t control DFQC’s hellfire. Their only option is to repeat their previous kiss in an attempt to swap back!

Fountain Palace: Changheng (CH) is purposefully avoiding the victory celebrations in his honour. Although Yunzhong claimed in ep. 1 that CH was suppressing a rebellion at Northernmost Ocean, DFQC’s lieutenant Shangque (SQ) says later in this episode that the celestials recently invaded the Northernmost Ocean, that they have been taking advantage of the civil unrest to claim more and more of the Moon tribe’s lands! DFQC at that point noted bitterly that the celestials had been bullying the Moon tribe while he was away. I think CH must have at least an inkling that his tribe are the bullies here. The Moon tribe at Northernmost Ocean were so divided and disorganised that it was no challenge for him to defeat them and drive them away.

CH brought back souvenirs from Northernmost Ocean for the two people he cares about the most. The Firefly stone for XLH, and Green Flame Wine for Ronghao (RH) who has popped in(to a painting) for a visit. CH shares that he is horrified at the attitude of the celestials towards the masked fairy that sacrificed herself for him, saving his life and allowing them to reseal the Haotian matrix. The celestials never gave her a second thought. RH’s grief for his master Lady Chidi is a direct parallel of this! Lady Chidi’s battle with DFQC not only weakened him enough to allow the celestials to seal him in the first place, but her sacrifice (allegedly) saved the celestials from being wiped out by the 100,000 soldiers of the Moon tribe. However, none of the celestials gave her sacrifice a second thought, and nobody apart from RH and CH even visited her grave on the anniversary of her death.

RH is fishing for information from CH about the whereabouts of the Goddess of Xishan (Yunzhong also asks CH about this in ep. 5), whom he needs to kill in order to resurrect his beloved master.

Haotian Tower: Enter Dominatrix DFQC in XLH’s body! :D He is generally dominating, but it is more hilarious when they are body-swapped (and sexy when they are not). Knocking an unwilling XLH to the floor, he straddles her and tries to steal a kiss. XLH is finally able to activate the hellfire innate to his body to blast him away. But when he collides with an electric wall, realises that her body is in danger and could be disintegrated! She hastens to propel herself towards him so they can lock lips in their second lengthy and electrifying kiss.

It works, and they are back to their original bodies! DFQC smashes the Haotian Tower and matrix (made of the combined strength of the entire heavenly High Council) as if they are nothing. He then tries to follow through with his plan all along to kill XLH, not so much for revenge, but to keep his escape a secret. At this stage, he does not trust anyone, not even SQ, and much less any celestial. But his attempts to strangle her are foiled by the one-heart curse kicking in! Unable to harm her, he allows her to leave (he also does this after their next encounter at Haishi). He has rarely encountered a problem he can’t solve himself and believes the curse is no exception.

When reconstructing Haotian Tower, he deliberately leaves the bottom level of the tower broken, allowing celestial criminals to escape – both to provide a plausible reason for the disturbance that occurred when he destroyed the tower, and to distract the heavenly soldiers who would then be preoccupied with rounding up these escaped convicts. He is careful, however, to leave no sign of disruption to the Haotian matrix in order to prevent the celestials from checking on him.

Shuyu Forest: XLH, having discovered that CH’s destiny leaf is back to normal, is skipping happily through the forest. She’s happy because of CH, but this reminds me that the next time we see her skipping happily through Shuyu Forest in ep. 8, it’s because she has just spent several hot minutes exchanging underwater kisses with DFQC! The source of her happiness has changed between now and then ;D

CH, while investigating the disturbance in the forest and rounding up a couple of escaped convicts, drops XLH’s handkerchief which he had hastily stuffed into his sleeve at the end of the 2D painting scene. What kind of place is that to store such a treasured item? The impracticalities of robes without pockets! :D

Oblivion River: DFQC calls for his lieutenant, SQ, a fearsome giant black dragon who can also take the form of a handsome man. Although SQ was resting in the river when DFQC calls for him, he has proactively been keeping tabs on everything that has been going on during the 30,000 years of DFQC’s absence while keeping himself concealed. DFQC’s death had been announced 30,000 years ago, but SQ never gave up hope that the man he saw as a brother would return to him. SQ’s love and loyalty towards DFQC is incredible. XLH may have waited 500 years for DFQC, but SQ had already waited 60 times that amount of time before she came onto the scene.

Haishi: XLH visits Haishi, a city in a location outside the three realms and sees snow falling for the first time! She goes to the shop of her (so-called) friend Jieli to buy a Universe Pill in an attempt to heal her corroded immortal roots. Sadly, Jieli has been raised her whole life under the control of the show’s villains, who have used poison to force her obedience. It is so awful in retrospect :(

Xuanxu Realm: DFQC and SQ visit the site of the catastrophic battle between DFQC and the former God of War Lady Chidi 30,000 years ago. In a flashback to the battle, both DFQC and Lady Chidi had blown themselves up to gigantic proportions (as DFQC does in ep. 3). This is an epic portrayal of how overpowered they both are! During a lengthy one-on-one battle, DFQC had marked the back of Lady Chidi's neck with his hellfire, and Lady Chidi had significantly weakened DFQC. When 100,000 soldiers of the Moon Tribe arrived, Lady Chidi sacrificed her life in order to seal them within the earth with the magic of her devastating Shuofeng sword. Lord Dong and the High Council were then able to seal a weakened DFQC’s body and spirit away with their combined efforts.

The enormous Shuofeng sword and the 100,000 petrified Moon Tribe soldiers still remain, but DFQC is unable to free his people without the primordial spirit of Lady Chidi.

Liufang Pavillion: Sent by Jieli to deliver goods to the pavillion, XLH rescues a poor plant spirit that had been abducted by the show’s villains, and discovers a hidden destiny leaf there! But all destiny leaves should be placed at Arbiter Hall so she quickly retrieves it. When she tries to read it, she can’t make out who it belongs to. To DFQC in ep. 3 however, it is as clear as day that it belongs to Xie Wanqing, the mortal reincarnation of Lady Chidi, as he recognises the mark of Hellfire on the back of her neck.

Alas, she is captured by Dieyi who cruelly whips her arms with a chain! Through the one-heart curse, DFQC suffers the same wounds as her and realises that something is wrong.

Here is a link to my episode 3 review (contains spoilers). All of my LBFAD articles and episode reviews can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Name your favorite characters and why in absurd detail (if you want, or just name them)

Well, you asked for DETAILS, so have a sort of chatacter analysis/hot mess of ramblings for #1. This has a good amount of personal headcanons that I've built up and it's not 100% based on canonical facts. Also I HAVE only played 0, Kiwami 1 and Kiwami 2 (Majima saga is in progress) so I don't have all the facts. I AM NOT GOOD AT CHARACTER ANALYSIS, be warned. Also ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

1) Majima Goro! I find his truly kind nature masked by his 'Mad Dog' persona very fascinating and sad at the same time. The way he incorporated elements of Nishitani and Sagawa into that persona is interesting and telling of how much of an impact those two had in him deciding his path.

I'm entranced by his use kansai-ben (my beloved) and his playful tone of voice contrasted with the, at times, more serious voice that sends me right back to 1988. The way he switches from an almost mockingly polite speech style to his Kansai dialect in his introduction scene in 0 instantly made me curious about his true nature and backstory.

I think his way of showing off his tattoos by not wearing a shirt so civilians don't get involved with him (that's how I interpret it) is tragic and it's obvious his past has left him with deep scars and a fear of the people he cares about being hurt. He'd rather be alone than build bonds and then potentially lose more people.

The way he still loves Makoto deeply in Kiwami 2 after all these years, and how he sings about truly not wanting her to forget him, but regardless "not minding" it if she forgets him as long as she's happy, hurts me in a whole new way. The way he sings/screams those "I DON'T MIND"s as though he's desperately trying to make himself believe what he's saying, rather than directing those phrases at Makoto in his mind, breaks my heart.

His pretty much absent fear of death sends chills down my spine and makes me wanna cry because he was already saying he's been ready to die for a long time in a flashback from BEFORE he events of Yakuza 0. I dread possibly finding out more about his past.

He's witty and charming and his confidence draws me in. He dresses how he does and meets Kiryu as Goromi and pole dances for him as well with no problems, and all in all just doesn't care what people think of him. I know it's probably because of something tragic like him having given up on life so "might as well go out with a bang", but I want to believe he feels at least somewhat liberated when he does all that.

I'm obsessed with how he wants to witness Kiryu's journey down the path he could never follow himself. And he seems to genuinely want to support Kiryu's decision to follow his own principles. Their first conversation in Kiwami tickled my brain because in that moment he seems to "lock it in" that he'll place his trust in Kiryu's unwavering will to make his own path and wants to witness it. He wants to see if it would have been possible for himself as well, had the circumstances been different. Is it truly possible to stick to such "soft" values in the cruel world of the Yakuza?

When he saw Kiryu coming back after his decade in prison, he whipped him right back into shape because he wanted to keep witnessing Kiryu's journey and also keep Kiryu's principles alive by keeping Kiryu himself alive. Because he himself wouldn't be able to live by those values, he's in way too deep, he has a reputation to uphold. So when his brother returns to kill him (if he will try to kill him, Majima himself seems to think so), it'll be an achievement worth letting Saejima back in the family. Killing a legend and all that.

Majima seems to feel like he can let Kiryu in a tad more than others. Even if it's just fighting against or beside him and openly enjoying those interactions. Probably because he knows Kiryu can handle himself in a fight and he's near indestructible physically and mentally. Kiryu is, in a way, his equal when it comes to dealing with it when shit hits the fan. He's definitely at least fond of Kiryu imo, with him giving in very easily when Kiryu asks him to help the Tojo clan survive in Kiwami 2. And also with how uncomfortable he got when Kiryu bowed his head when he was asking Majima for help.

Majima also highly values the promises he makes; he fought those invading Sengoku thugs until he was battered and bleeding and barely able to stand because he promised Kiryu he'd be there to help. Weird move from a man who seems hell-bent on pretending not to care about anyone or anything besides his own interests, hmmm? He gave his word and he KEPT it. Because he doesn't make empty promises.

I love watching him when he's "on a break" during the Majima Everywhere storyline. It truly solidified the fact that the 'Mad Dog' is a mask for me. He's all hyper and "crazy" when others are around and he really lays it on thick, but on break? He's contemplative. He looks almost sad at times. He lets the mask drop for a second. The fact that he lets Kiryu see that instead of immediately masking back up is a whole other can of worms. Point is, the Majima from before is still there, underneath it all.

The way he thinks back on his time in Sotenbori is interesting. There's definitely trauma and anger in there, but the way he wonders about how his team is doing nowadays almost wistfully makes me happy. He had SOME light to hold on to in those dark times. He truly did care for his team and was fond of them. Also... him saying it wasn't in his nature to make a living using women like that made my respect for him soar. He truly respected everyone in his team, including the hostesses.

Also, just... ugh. The Doll Girl substory. The DAMN DOLL GIRL SUB STORY. I- THAT- 😭😭😭😭 O UG H

TL;DR: Majima because he's everything to me and he makes me experience thought spirals beyond anything I've went through before. He's tragic, he's fun, he's silly, he's hot, he's confident, he's strong, he's interesting he's kind and he's just... Majima.

2) Kiryu because he's sweet and wonderful and makes me weep and I wish he'd take better care of himself and I wanna hug him and give him soup and bring all his loved ones back to life. Please let this man catch a break.

3) Nishitani because he makes me feral and I want him carnally

4) Dojima Yayoi because... I mean... DAMN. She's fierce and extremely loyal, she handled herself extremely well in an environment that was probably rife with people who questioned her ability to lead. I'd bet my left boob she faced a lot of misogyny (direct and/or indirect) during her time as a chairwoman. But she kept going, head held high, with conviction and pride. Simply incredible.

5) Haruka is a sweet angel and I wanna protect her and I hope she will be happy forever. She stayed strong and still has faith in people even after seeing all the horrors of Kiwami 1. She's so resilient and brilliant.

[smloshie]

Turning Page - a Simon Bootles x Reader

Part 2: 1763

Chapter 4: The Deed

Word Count: 4,033

A/N: Ask and ye shall receive! Thank you to everyone who has supported this venture of mine :') Again, this fic is also uploaded to Ao3 and Wattpad now, so if you prefer reading fics there or want to be notified when I update, feel free to find this on there! Without further ado, here is the first chapter of part 2!!!!

╔═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════╗

“Ben, no running!” I shouted from my seat in the library. I watched over the back of my chair as my son ran along the carpet on our hardwood floors. I knew that if he wasn’t careful, there would be no traction between the fabric and the wood to keep him from slipping. He was quite new to walking, after all. I squinted my eyes at him as if to say, “don’t you dare.” He paused to looked at me, and slowly smiled as if to say, “watch me.”

“Rah!” I heard a male voice roar. My husband came around the corner and struck a menacing pose at Ben, causing our one year old to erupted with giggles and start running once more. He ran up behind him and scooped him up while Ben screamed with glee. I smiled and rolled my eyes, turning back to the book on my lap.

“One of these days, he’s going to get hurt. You know that, right?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I do,” my husband said, “and did you know that you look more gorgeous than usual tonight, my dear? The way the firelight is hitting your focused gaze is invigorating to say the least.” I rolled my eyes once more.

“Mm-hm. Flattery will give you nothing.” I said.

“It gave me you.” He protested, very matter-of-factly.

“Whatever you say, Simon.” I conceded. He walked up behind me and planted a kiss on my cheek, then walked over to a bookshelf with Benedict on his shoulders.

“What should we read tonight, son?” Ben leaned forward with his tiny hands outstretched and grabbed a random book.

“Ooh, Cinderella! He’s got good taste!” Simon said, turning to wink at me. I blushed and hid my face in my book. The things this man does to me, even after all these years.

“After that book, he needs to be put to bed. It’s already late enough.” I said. Simon sighed and sat down on the other end of the couch from me, setting Ben in his lap.

“Just one book? Benny, I think your mother is trying to stifle your mind’s growth!” Simon said, looking down at him. Ben didn’t know what he was saying, but he giggled nonetheless because his father was using a funny voice.

“Hush, it doesn’t matter how early we start, we both know he’s going to end up far more learned than the two of us combined.” I said.

“Let’s just pray he keeps his sense of humor and good spirit about him. We need more lively people in the world. Don’t we, Ben?” Simon asked rhetorically.

Simon began to read the story to Benedict and finished it around 30 minutes later. I tuned them out, too deep into my own story to listen to theirs. I barely even realized Simon had left the room and taken Ben to bed. That is, until I felt Simon’s lips press against my neck. I let out a small gasp in shock.

“I-I didn’t even hear you come in!” I said. He paused his actions to speak.

“You know that I can be quite stealthy when I need to be.” He said. His lips returned to my skin. I sat up and turned to him, a stern look on my face.

“Stop right there, Mister Bootles. You know what happened the last time we were in this library alone.” I argued. He looked at me with raised eyebrows, lowering himself to his knees in front of me. He grabbed my hands and kissed them.

“And lucky for us, the result of that is sound asleep in the nursery.” He reasoned. I avoided eye contact, looking all around the room. My gaze landed on the banister of the stairs in the corner.

“Oh, how long has it been since we dusted the railing of the upper wing? It’s looking worse for wear.” I said, changing the subject. He let out a half-sigh half-laugh and got up, sitting next to me on the couch.

“You’re impossible.” He laughed.

“And you are so kind as to respect my wishes, darling.” I smiled, kissing him.

“I’d do anything to make you happy.” He responded. I knew this to be true, he always had.

I rested my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat speed up as I did so. It was nice to know that I still gave him butterflies after being together for so long. I slowly closed my eyes and felt myself start to drift off to sleep with my arms wrapped around him. I was interrupted by a nudge from Simon.

“You know we can’t sleep here,” he said, “we’ve got a perfectly good bed to lay in, in our room. What a waste of space it would be if we slept on a library couch.”

“I would lay anywhere, as long as you were there.” I hummed, closing my eyelids once more.

“That’s not what you said a minute ago.” He said, flatly. My eyes shot open and I sat straight up, my face glowing beet red.

“You-! That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” I scoffed. He laughed loudly, his hand grabbing his chest to stabilize his breathing.

“I know, I know!” He said, in between giggles, “You know how I love messing with you.” I furrowed my eyebrows and removed my hands from his torso, looking away.

“I’m sorry, dear. Please don’t be upset with me! I was just having fun, you know I didn’t mean anything by it.” He pleaded. I sighed in defeat, slowly turning back to look at him.

“Well, I suppose if this is as bad as our disputes will get, I think we have a happy life ahead of us.” I said, looking down at our hands as I intertwined our fingers.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

I was rudely woken up from my dream by a knock on my door. I groaned softly to myself. I had been having that same dream for weeks, and that was the furthest I’ve gotten. I haven’t heard from Simon in years. He wrote to us once, about a month ago, but it was to my brother regarding my father’s health. Nothing for or about me. It was as if the person I had built my world around forgot I existed.

“Whoever it is, you had better have a reasonable explanation for why you’ve woken me up at dawn-” The door flung open. Margot stood there with wide eyes and a sad look on her face.

“(Y/N),” She spoke in a shaky voice, “it’s time.” I gasped, and knew exactly what it meant. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my housecoat and slippers. I followed Margot down the hall into the room once shared between my mother and father, before my mother passed away a few years ago. I entered the room to see Garrison with his family, and Margot with her family standing around my fathers bed. He laid in the center of his large mattress. He was hacking and coughing like he had been for the past year, but this seemed worse. It was far more guttural.

“Is he alr-”

“Shh!” Garrison cut me off with a venom-laced shush. I glared at him and clenched my jaw. Garrison approached his bedside.

“Alright father, we’re all here. You can begin.” He said, handing a piece of parchment to him. My father took it and opened it with shaky hands, and cleared his throat.

“My children-” He said, cutting himself off with a sputter.

“My children,” He restarted, “I have loved you all since the day God brought you into this world. Each of you have been my greatest source of pride for all of these years.” He looked to all of us around the room. Margot grabbed my hand in hers, and squeezed it tight. The state of him has been hardest on her, so much so that she had been nicer to me as of late.

“Now, I want to read off to each of you your portion of the will- in private. So as to avoid any conflict. I will start with Margot, Jeffrey, Charlotte, and Abigail.” I nodded my head and left the room alongside my brother and his family. 

“Do you really think this is it?” I asked, quietly.

“I believe it is.” Garrison said, “I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did.”

“Thirty four years… ten of which without mother.” I said.

“I don’t really know how to feel. I’m glad he won’t be suffering, but the house will be different without him. So many of my memories here involve him and your mother.” Alice said. She had been crying. 

I started to think about it. The house would definitely be strange without him. What would even become of this house? Obviously, I wanted it- but would I get it? I had literally been dreaming of raising a family here for years. Maybe my father would understand, and give the deed to me. Margot and Jeffrey live in town, and Alice has been begging Garrison to downsize from their home that is about the same size, now that their boys are going to university. Then again, this is more space than I needed… and who’s to say that my future lies with Simon at all? It could really go either way.

“(Y/N)?” A voice broke through my whirlpool of thoughts drowning my brain. I looked up and saw Margot and her family walking out the doors. It was my time to say goodbye.

Now that I really thought about it, would I really get anything at all? I’ve always been an outlier in my family. Maybe he would give me a few books from the library… if I was lucky.

I took a deep breath and walked into his room.

“Hello,” I began, “how are you feeling?”

“Don’t ask questions that you already know the answer to.” He said. It wasn’t stern, but it wasn’t a joke either. It was just a fact that he was stating. I nodded my head, and I made my way to his bedside.

“(Y/N), there’s no easy way to say this…” He trailed off. My stomach dropped to my feet. Would I really be getting nothing?

“I’m not the one getting the house, am I?” I said, bluntly.

“Well, your brother and Alice are… well, it just makes the most sense to give the deed to them.”

My world crumbled around me. My mind was racing. 

He could barely even give a reason. I had never been married. The man I wanted never sent for me. I had nowhere else to go, it would be unlikely they’d let me stay. Alice’s love for me was outweighed by Garrison’s hatred. I’d never get to come back if he had it his way.

Suddenly, I heard a voice speak from the doorway.

“Actually sir, if I may interrupt… I was hoping to speak to you regarding the deed.”

I turned to face the man who dared to intrude on such a private conversation. That’s when I was met with a face I had only ever dreamed of seeing again.

“Simon!” My heart fluttered at the mere sight of him. All of the resentment I had built up over him not writing disappeared in seconds. Without thinking of my father witnessing my unruly behavior, I ran towards him and jumped into his arms. He spun me around with my arms wrapped around his neck.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. I was astonished.

“Your brother wrote to me last week saying that your father was ill. I had to make sure my business was in order before departing, but I came as soon as I heard.” I smiled widely at him.

“Simon,” My father’s hoarse voice spoke up, “what a surprise. I’m as happy to see you as anyone else, but I have to ask you to leave until I’m finished discussing my will with (Y/N).”

“Yes, and I’m so terribly sorry to intrude, but I feel like it’s pertinent that I am in the room for this discussion.” He said. He sounded so put-together.

“May I ask why that is, Simon?” My father asked. He looked genuinely confused. Simon gave me a knowing look. Maybe it was because of how long we’d been apart, but I couldn’t read his mind.

“I feel like any discussion of (Y/N)’s portion of the will would need to include her fiance as well.”

What?!

“I b-beg your pardon?” My father’s voice trembled. I couldn’t tell if it was because he was ill or because he was shocked. I was just as shocked, maybe even moreso. We would definitely need to discuss this later.

“Yes sir. You see, (Y/N) and I have been in correspondence ever since that summer weekend that I visited.” I let out a small laugh in disbelief. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, his way of telling me to keep quiet.

“I would have asked you for her hand sooner, but I wanted to ask in person. Over time, I grew impatient… and I felt it would be easier to ask for your forgiveness rather than your permission.” He explained.

My father was stone-faced. Unmoving. I held my breath waiting for any sign of protest. After what felt like an eternity, he spoke.

“Very well. It pains me that I may not live to see the wedding, but I grant you my approval.” He said. My legs felt weak. I couldn’t believe my father was actually allowing this. But still, he didn’t mention anything about the house. Without thinking, I felt an additional lie bubble out of my throat.

“A-Actually, to be completely truthful, we eloped in December.” I interjected. Simon’s head snapped to me. He looked at me with wide eyes. His head looked back to my father and he gave a strained nod, like a poorly-maintained industrial machine.

Just play along, Simon. I prayed he could see what I was thinking. We needed to go deeper into this backstory if there was any chance of my father giving the house to me. I’ve read enough novels to know how to write a believable story. 

There was just one final nail to be hammered so this platform of lies was solidified.

“...and I am with child.” I finally said. I watched as my father’s eyes closed, and his head went limp. My hands clamped over my mouth in shock.

“Oh my God, I killed him!” I squeaked at Simon through my fingers. I was just quiet enough so my family wouldn’t hear me from the hallway. While my eyes filled with tears, Simon rushed to grab my father’s wrist.

“No, his heart is still beating. I think you just shocked him into fainting.” He whispered. I let out a huge sigh of relief. After a second of momentary solace, I launched right into berating Simon.

“What were you thinking?!” I said, pushing his chest with my hands, “Telling him that we have been writing for months when you know full well that I haven’t heard from you in years!”

“What are you talking about?” He said, almost as if he was throwing my accusations back at me.

“I have been waiting every day for years for you to acknowledge that I exist. Then, you show up and suddenly we’re married with a baby on the way?” I retorted, keeping my voice’s volume low.

“You’re the one who told him we were married and with child! I was just going to say we were engaged so he’d give the deed to you.”

“I had to! He wouldn’t have given us the house unless he knew that a family would be starting here!” I reasoned. I immediately awaited his quick response in our back and forth, but it didn’t come. He paused and looked at me with surprise, his mouth slightly agape.

“...What?” I asked, still slightly fuming. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards for a beat.

“You said ‘us’.” He simply said.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

“You said he wouldn’t have given ‘us’ the house.” He clarified. I could tell that he was holding back a shit-eating grin, only preventing it from creeping onto his face to save me from embarrassment.

“So maybe I did.” I simply said, diverting my gaze to random points in the room. By the time I looked back at him, he had taken a few steps towards me.

“(Y/N)...” he whispered. Though it was quiet, I felt his voice brush against my cheeks as if it were his hands caressing my skin.

“Do you remember what you told me before I left?” He asked.

“I told you I loved you.” I recalled.

“...and do you still feel the same?” I couldn’t lie to him. I wouldn’t lie to him.

“Yes,” I said, “I haven’t gone a single day without thinking of you.”

“I’m happy to know I wasn’t the only one.”

“Then why didn’t you write to me?” I asked.

“I did!” He said, I was taken aback.

“I wrote you for weeks after I left, but I never received anything back from you. I assumed that… what we had… actually meant nothing to you. I felt stupid for thinking someone like you would ever love someone like me. I’m so sorry, my darling.”

“I never got any of your letters, I swear! I wanted to write to you, but I couldn’t ask Garrison for your address without raising eyebrows. I’m so sorry, Simon.” His eyes softened and he looked down at me with a smile, a dimple appearing on one of his cheeks.

“Well look at us now; a couple of sorry souls.” He joked.

Suddenly, we heard a cough from my father’s bed beside us. He had regained consciousness.

“Father!” I exclaimed, grabbing his hands.

“I’m so sorry if what I said upset you; I just felt it was important for you to know.”

“No need to apologize, (Y/N),” that was the first and last time I’d ever hear that from him, “I’m shocked, true. But I couldn’t be more overjoyed that someone like Simon has solidified a non-honorary place in our family.”

He was happy that Simon was in our family. Not that I had finally found love or that I was starting an (albeit fake) family. He was happy that the black sheep had found a shepherd that lives up to the family standard.

I thought of the house and bit my tongue from speaking my mind.

“(Y/N), darling, would you mind if your father and I had a discussion in private?” Simon asked. I cocked an eyebrow. What was his plan now?

“Yes, of course. Call for me when I need to return.” I conceded. I gave my father a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room. 

After closing the door, I turned around and was immediately met with stares from my family. Jeffrey and Margot had a look of shock. Garrison was pale as a ghost. Alice was smiling at me.

“How much of that did you all hear?” I asked. My breathing started to feel shaky.

“You’re with child?” Alice asked in an excited tone. 

“You’ve been married this whole time?” Margot questioned.

“To Simon.” Garrison said. It felt like less of a question, and more like him admitting defeat. He lost his best friend to someone he had despised his entire life, and didn’t even know until now.

“Yes…” I admitted sheepishly. There was no way I would admit that it was all a ploy to get the deed. Especially not in front of my brother, now that I knew the pain of betrayal was beating on him like a drum.

“How did absolutely no one know about this?” Jeffrey asked the room.

“I can be quite stealthy when I need to be.” I said with a giggle, mostly because the phrase had become an inside joke with myself.

“I have so many questions.” Garrison said. He looked like a spirit wandering a shipwreck. Scared. Confused. Lost.

“When did you marry?” Alice asked.

“Where did you marry?” Margot interjected.

“Aren’t you a bit old to be having children?” Garrison questioned.

“How long have you known you were pregnant?”

“How long have you and Simon been in correspondence?”

“Aren’t you afraid of what will be of the baby’s health, given your age?”

Before I could answer any questions, my father’s bedroom doors swung open. There Simon stood, a stern look on his face. Like a teacher about to lecture his students on their misbehavior.

“Terribly sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you all to stop berating my wife with questions. Garrison, if you’re so concerned about the baby’s health, you might think to stop stressing the person carrying it.” He said, placing a firm hand on my shoulder. I put my hand to my forehead to look as distressed as possible.

“Oh yes, I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed by all of the questioning… I apologize, but I think I need to retire to my room.” I said with a sigh.

“I’ll come with you,” He said, “and Garrison, your father will see you now.”

Simon placed his hand on my lower back to escort me through my family. I looked over my shoulder to see my brother, who was still in shock from his world’s colliding. I directed my gaze to Simon, and he glanced at me with a devilish look in his eye. Once we got to my quarters, we closed the door. I leaned my back against the wall, relieved that I could finally stop pretending for a second. I knew as soon as I left this room, there would be another life I would have to live that wasn’t even mine- thought I wished it to be. I closed my eyes and sighed.

“How are you feeling?” Simon asked, following my exasperated behavior.

“In all honesty? Stressed.” I said bluntly, “I’m stressed, Simon. We needed to think this through better. What’s going to happen when I’m supposed to actually have the baby? What if someone asks for our marriage certificate as proof? I have to live a lie around my family, and my father’s going to die thinking that my life is finally going the way he wanted it to- and it’s not.”

He had such an understanding look on his face, almost as if he was waiting to apologize. After a long pause, I told him a secret I never wanted to keep from him in the first place.

“I would have married you if you had asked.” I whispered. His eyebrows twitched, his look of understanding now replaced with that of regret. I could tell he was having a realization of some kind. I looked down at the floorboards beneath my feet, ashamed.

“You would?” he asked.

“Of course.” I said. The floodgates were opened now, I let him know my every last thought.

“I keep having this dream… Almost every night, like clockwork. I tell our son to stop running around the library, you chase him around for a bit. You pick out a bedtime story to read to him, and put him to bed. Then you come back into the library- and it’s always the library in this house. This house is the one I dreamed of raising a family in. Planting the seed of my legacy in. I’m sorry if I sound insane, but I needed you to know that in your absence I created this whole life for us in my brain. It was completely ideal… but now I know that not everything turns out the way you dream it.”

I looked straight down at the floor after saying all this. I didn’t want him to see how pathetic I really was. Was he silent because he realized I was hysterical?

“Well the first part of your dream has already come true…” He said.

“It wasn’t exactly my dream for the marriage to be fake-”

“Your father agreed to give us the deed to the house.”

╚═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════╝

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 And we are on 4x13 and it starts with Britin “sleeping” and immediately he scoffs at it and goes ‘yeah right. You expect me to believe that either of them sleep like that? Not to project on Blondie but he would be all over Bri Bri. OH BRIAN IS SNEAKING OUT?! What is going on? OH JUSTIN IS AWAKE?! This would be sooooo much funnier if they’d be all over each other and Bri would spend like a full minute trying to untangle. Why is he sneaking out? Brian, you know this is your house right? WHAT IS HAPPENING? Oh shit he’s following him. HE’S SNEAKING OUT TO WORK OUT? That’s..insane..and impressive.. i hid in the bathroom at the hospital last week because i tried to avoid PT. CAUGHT! HES BEEN SNEAKING AROUND FOR THREE WEEKS?! THEYRE GONNA GO TOGETHER?! AM I FINALLY GETTING A BRIAN AND JUSTIN TRIP? Even if it is to Canada? Is there a place In Pittsburgh that they haven’t fucked at? SEE THIS IS THE JUSTIN I LOVE! THIS KINKY SNEAKY LIL SHIT!’ *pauses episode on Mel* ‘IS THAT A PICTURE OF BRIAN BEHIND HER? When gus was born!!! It is! THAT IS ADORABLE!’ He is now watching the Mel/Linds passive aggressiveness ‘okay, im gonna need this shit to end. I dont care how, just end it’ ‘I forgot about this LA dude. NOOOO JUSTIN NEEDS TO GO TO LA?! BUT THE LIBERTY RIDE! FUCK YOU MIKE! NO JUSTIN! COME ON THIS IS BULLSHIT! Why does he have to go to LA! *pauses tv* this sucks. THEY WERE GONNA FUCK IN A TENT OR WHATEVER! *looks at me* yeah yeah and raise money for charity but priorities! Fuck LA’ ‘CARL WANTS TO MARRY DEBBIE?! OH MY FUCKING GOD! HOLY SHIT’ and we are at Brian/Linds scene ‘why am i not surprised that she ran to him for help? Since when is Lindsay such a bitch? *pauses tv and looks at me all sad* do you think Brian is messed up because his parents stayed together? I mean its one horrible home versus two horrible homes. I know that’s probably why he hasn’t told Blondie he loves him and why he pushes people away but like do you think it would change shit? *looks at me annoyed bc all i did was shrug in my defense im still a little sick* oh come on dont you have a psychology degree or something (this is where i looked at him funny and tell him that i absolutely do not have that) oh…do we know anyone that has it because i have questions’ *starts ep again* ‘why is Ted not going on the ride? Whats going on? So Justin AND Ted aren’t going? WHAT is happening?’ Mikey told Ben about Carl and then he says “after all thats what two people do when they love each other, right? Get married” ‘well…not always. I mean i get marriage is like a big deal cause hospitals or like taxes or whatever but other than that? Its just too much work.’ ‘I love Blondie so much but let’s be fucking real, try to imagine Brian sleeping in a tent outside. FUCKING MICHAEL WHY CANT HE KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT! Let Justin ditch LA for a trip! Wait Brian is not going either?! Hold the fuck up? So he’s out? HOLD UP. Go on a ride without Brian and sacrifice his future? WHAT? So wait is Brian lying about not going or what? Is he lying to get Justin to go for his career? WHAT IS HAPPENING’ (all this was said very fast but also with many pauses and stuttering) ‘damn it, Mikey is actually cute! So wait the only people doing the ride are ben, hunter and Mike? the fuck?’ ‘I’m so happy that Emmett and Ted are back to being friends. EMMETT IS GOING ON THE RIDE! Aw they’re gonna ride together! At least I’ll have them two if Brian and Justin aren’t going’ and the trip to canada has started ‘so Brian is really not going? Aw he came to see them off.’ (He paused the ep to rewind back to the handjob motion hunter does and then he pointed to Brians reaction and went ‘that was either cute uncle/nephew shit OR actor dude smiled for real’) ‘i hate that he’s not going. And that Justin isn’t going. Fuck LA. Im glad Bri is being safe but it still fucking sucks.’ ‘Aw carl (carl is about to propose) sucks that he cant go. HOLY SHIT! THATS HOW HES PROPOSING?! it kinda fits for debbie not gonna lie.‘

Oh my god! the back and forth about Brian and Justin and who’s going on the liberty ride and who’s going to LA is so frustrating. I swear the writers had nothing else to do.

oh come on dont you have a psychology degree or something (this is where i looked at him funny and tell him that i absolutely do not have that) oh…do we know anyone that has it because i have questions

Shyly raises hand… you can let your brother know I have a psychology degree (three of them!) when this is all revealed. I’ll answer any questions he has.

I’m rushing through my reactions to these a bit because I have work but just know that I’ve read and reread them and died laughing.

[musewritingsforyou]

Coming Home

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Final

Summary: Spencer deals with the news he has received

Warnings: Anxiety, crying, panic, trauma, self harm, suicide, death (past), injury, stalking, swearing, angst

Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader

words: 1.6k

A/N: The final Part!!!! again this one is pretty dark, but not quite as difficult or long as the last one. I cried yall.

*I do not own any CM characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 10

Spencer~

I must have sat there in silence for at least five minutes. I kept my hand on her back and tried to keep my own breathing calm. I know it's cliche to say I never thought it would happen to me. But it's true. Even in my line of work, you never think it'll happen to you, until it does. I stared at the dirt beneath my feet and wondered what question to ask first. When I finally lifted my head, hers was down, refusing to meet my face.

“So, Ben?” It wasn't the first on my list, but I knew the story hadn't ended just yet. She only stopped it there because she was too afraid, and I knew that feeling all too well.

“He received an envelope the same as mine two weeks before he killed himself.” My brain switched modes as she spoke. I went from boyfriend to profiler before I could really stop myself. I mean, anyone would in that situation right? It can't just be a coincidence.

“Did you know that-”

“That he was going to kill himself? No. he sent me pictures of his envelope just like I did when we were in highschool. We talked on the phone hours before. I've talked to people on the edge before, I've talked people off the edge before. He wasn't planning it. That I'm sure of.”

I thought back to the first night she stayed at my apartment. Before we moved in together, I think it was after about a month of dating that she slept there for the first time. I remembered how guarded she was at first. How she would always wear something that went at least down to her knees. That first night she put on a sweater of mine and for the first time I saw her scars. Not just on her legs, but on her torso as well. Long intentional, surgical scars. I never asked.

“y/n/n, those scars, were they from-” she cut me off again, hearing me say it seemed to be too much for her.

“Some of them are from the surgeries. Some aren't”  the pain in her voice was too much. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. What I would do if I could get my hands on the man that did this-

“Let me find him.”  it came out before I even knew I wanted to say it.

y/n~

I finally looked up.

“What?”

“Let me find the man who did this. Give me the word and I will have the whole team looking for him. Or just me, I don't care about who does it. Let me make sure that he can't take one more thing from you.”

The tears that I had just gotten to stop came back. I knew he would do that. I knew he would do anything to protect me. But to be honest, I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

“After all the lies that I've told to you? My best friend killed himself because of someone that only wanted to hurt me. How am I any better than he is?”

My lips trembled when I looked at Spencer. Even in all of the pain that he has been in, all of the emotions I'm sure he felt as I told him my story, he hadn’t cried. Not until now.

Spencer~

I had kept strong for her. As she first saw me, when she first heard me speak, when she told me of all that happened to her. But hearing her blame herself. Her pain was so evident. It broke my heart more than I knew was possible. I took my hand from her back and put it on her cheek so she had no choice but to look at me.

“You listen to me. This was not your fault, do you understand? You did not lie to me, you kept strong to protect me, to protect everyone! There was no way you could have known that after all this man had done to you he was going to hurt someone else! None of this is on you! I love you so, so, so much, and I'm so-” My voice cracked as I cried and trembled. “So sorry that you thought you had to do this alone. So please, please. Let me do this for you.”

She stayed quiet as she sobbed and trembled but finally nodded. She squeezed her eyes shut and I pulled her into me. I would die before letting anything else get to her.

__________

Eventually, after the both of us had laughed and wiped the snot and tears from each other's faces we hobbled back into the house where her sister was waiting.

“So?”

“I promise the both of you, I will find this man.”

She looked back at me and nodded before reaching out to y/n and pulling her into a hug.

“Good, it's about time someone did.”

I walked to the couch and pulled my phone from the hospital bag before calling Garcia.

“Boy wonder! You don't text, you don't call! Where have you been!” her voice made me smile, she was always a little light in the darkness.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry, I've been dealing with a lot. Garcia I need you to do something for me,”

“Anything, what do you need?”

“Can you get the rest of the team on the phone?”

“Hah, can I, of course I can! Who do you think you're talking to. Hold please.” She paused and I heard several other lines connect.

“Alright and here we are, Reid everyones on the line now”

“Thanks Garcia. I need everyone's help.”

_________

(3 month time jump)

y/n~

I waited anxiously on the large bed in Spencer and I’s room. My phone sat beside my leg and I nervously checked it every few seconds waiting for the call that could change my life.

Three months ago Spencer called his team and told them my story. He explained to them everything leading from when I was sixteen to the moment Spencer was shot. The team agreed to help the both of us and gathered as much information as they could. About one week ago Spencer got a call from Emily just after we had arrived back home in DC. -

“So?” I paced around our apartment anxiously as he set his phone down on the coffee table.

“They think they found him.” I stopped walking around right as the words came out of his mouth and gulped.

“Do you think-”

“It's him, y/n. It's him”- 

And Spencer was right. It was him. They left that night for Maine. I fought and fought, trying to convince all of them, but in the end Spencer convinced me not to. -

“Spence you don’t understand! I have to go!”

“Look at me. I know how much this means to you, I do. You can not come with us. I can’t put you at risk like that!”

“Spencer the last time you were there you were shot! Five goddamn times!” He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed my hand from where he sat on the couch. He pulled me into his lap and looked me right in the eyes.

“I will get him, I promise. I will call you every hour and I will even stay with your sister if it means you don't come. Trust me, I want you with me every moment! But I want you alive more.”-  

So, I stayed. He kept his promise to me. He called me every hour and never once did I hear the dreaded dial tone. He stayed with my sister and her husband and kids, and every time he came home, Lu would send me a picture of him with my nieces and nephews. A couple of hours ago he called me, one of his hourly check-ins but the tone of his voice was different. He was trying to hide something from me. -

“Spencer what's going on?”

“Nothing I promise!”

“No, there's definitely something happening! What's going on Spence?”

“We found him.”

“Yeah, I know that, that's why you're in Maine, what do you mean?”

“No, y/n, we found his house. He’s in custody right now.” My heart stopped for a moment.

“y/n/n? You there?”

“Im here, i’m here”

“All we need now is a confession. Emily and JJ are working on him right now.”   

He reassured me that he was okay, and said he would call me soon. He texted me at his next check-in saying he was fine but that he needed to work on the confession, that he would call me when they got it, when they were leaving. And just like that my phone rang. I almost fell off of the edge of the bed to grab it, dropping my phone in the process.

“Spence?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me babe”

“So?” My heart rate sped up and I felt light headed

“We got it y/n/n.” I cried and put a hand on my chest. Years of pain. Years of being paranoid. Years of never seeing my family out of fear that it would hurt them. Years of thinking that my best friend's death was my fault. And just like that, the man who caused all of it. All of my pain and my fear and my panic and my trauma and my scars. Just like that, it's gone.

“y/n are you still there?”

“yeah, yeah, im here, sorry, it's just-”

“I know, I know. It’s okay now” I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me.

“y/n, I'm coming home”

With three words he saved me. With three words he made all of my fear for him worth it. He made every second worth it. He made coming home worth it.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

The whole “keep people guessing” thing they’re trying to do with Merula is so annoying though. They’ve done it so often that people are getting tired of it. I hate to say it but even when they did it with Rakepick it wasn’t this level of irritating. I mean at least with her we’re not forced to still care about her and be encouraged to “save” her and bring her to the right side after she did something to wrong us. Unlike Merula, that’s exactly what they’re doing. She’s treated MC appallingly from ever since I can remember yet we’re still forced to call her a “friend” and look out for her, it’s total bs. We give her chance after chance no matter how many times she fucks up and whether players actually want to or not. They’ll probably do it again after ch 38 even though there’s literally no reason why they should. It’s just the same thing over and over again with her, I’m so sick of it.

For better or for worse, I'm gonna say that Merula is the single most important character in the game, apart from MC.

I'm not even talking as a Merula stan right now. The rose colored glasses are off. I'm looking at this critically, and analyzing the narrative, and it's clear to me that Merula is the character who the story revolves around the most, by far.

Jacob is also significant but he kind of stopped mattering much at all after he was rescued from the Portrait Vault. The idea of Jacob was central to the first five years of the story, a guiding light. But as an actual character, he offers nothing to the narrative that MC doesn't already provide at this point. (Apart from answers, but for whatever reason he doesn't want to give answers, and MC has stopped asking.)

All of the Year 1 characters offer significance to the main story, at least to some degree. Well, apart from Penny. (Seriously, if you ignore any and all sidequest content, Penny's actually surprisingly irrelevant to the tale of Hogwarts Mystery.) Rowan, like Jacob, is significant to the plot more in concept than in presence, but this time I think it was intentional. The Circle of Khanna, Rowan's death, was the first time they'd played a major role in the story since Year 2. Not that I'm saying this is a good thing, but a significant part of Rowan's death was how it furthered Ben's character arc. Ben is probably the second most important character after Merula - there's a reason the two of them, alongside MC, were the Circle's founders.

But Merula. Oh god.

She's established in the first two chapters. She's been a constant presence ever since, a thorn in MC's side. She literally has her own track in the OST. (Though it's shockingly underused.) The only other character who does is Jacob. (And his theme is dreadfully overused, to the point where it's just a general "emotional moment" theme now...) I think Merula, and her character, were always significant to the story the writers wanted to tell. And, yes, part of that story is showing us her human side.

Honestly, I know I compare Merula to Draco a lot these days, but it's not like there isn't reason to. The further we get into the story, the more I feel like Merula's character is almost written as a response to his, and/or a kind of wish fulfillment for everyone who was rooting for him to be redeemed. (Merula canonically has a hawthorn wand, same as Draco, which is noted for choosing people going through "turmoil" and "inner conflict.") Because I do expect Merula to be redeemed. Yes, even now, I'd argue that the signs are pointing in that direction more than ever. Which is also a good thing for a number of reasons, but among them is this: Merula as just a straight up one-note antagonist would get pretty boring after a while. Draco, as a one-note bully, had already gotten stale by OOTP, until HBP fleshed him out. Showing us another side of Merula is a good way to develop her as a character significant to the story.

The thing is, there's no way to show us another side of Merula if the heroes aren't willing to listen. As a result, MC and the Circle simply have to listen. This can be frustrating when the characters arguably have no reason to hear her out, and plenty of reason not to...but I think the writers are banking on the idea that after everything MC has been through with Merula, it's not unreasonable that they might have developed some amount of fondness for her, or pity, if nothing else. Even if it's just pity, just MC being a good person - I realize how irritating this is for people who are sick of her, but, again, something else I've said before is that Jacob's Sibling is not ours. We get to decide a lot of what is true about them, personalize them, but at the end of the day their lines and reactions are still pre-written by Jam City. I think it's clear that Year 5, and especially "About Merula" were meant to signal a change in how MC sees her. The player might not agree. But unfortunately, I think we all just have to go with it.

[gojixyz69]

Why Mewtwo vs Shadow should get a remake

As you know Death Battle is planing on remaking old death battle episodes like Ben vs Hal, Samus vs Boba and Chief vs Doomguy. And they expresed interes on other episodes like this one Mewtwo vs Shadow whitch for me personaly it should get a remake and I'm here to explain why, but before I start I just want to say that this is just my opinion and I'm not saying that other episodes don't deserve a remake I'm just explaining why for me personaly Mewtwo vs Shadow should get a remake and with all that being sayed let's begin.

1. The episode SUCKS

Yeah if you heared what people say about the episode then you would know that it sucks, it disrespects Shadow and the fight is short and not alot happens and while I do kinda like I am all of Mewtwo it's not great to say the least and while there are episodes that disrespects characters this one left a s*it post on Shadow and while Shadow did return in Season 8 with Shadow vs Ryuko whitch was pretty good (in my opinion) it doesn't undo the problems with this episode and even still Shadow vs Ryuko also had problems so for me personaly I think that a Mewtwo vs Shadow remake would fix it and also it would give the matchup the love it deservs whitch leads us to...

2. The matchup is great

Like I sayed Mewtwo vs Shadow sucks as an episode but as a matchup it's great heck I don't even have to explain Ben made a chart talking about it

And as you can see there are A LOT of connections between them and not only that but there's so much potential with it.

First of the characterization. The main with all of Shadow's episodes is that they potrey him like most people do being a edge lord but that's not the case Shadow was a complex character who wanted to protect the planet he promised to protect and even respected Sonic and as for Mewtwo while he's mostly known as someone who hates humans he's also a complex character who like Shadow ultimately cared and even changed his views on humans after Pokemon the 1st movie, so a remake would be able to fix it.

Second the animation potential. There's so much you can do here, like have a spoon vs sword fight, Mewtwo reflecting Shadow's attacks, Shadow catching Mewtwo of guard and finally you can have an emotional ending between the two whitch would be gut reaching but beautiful.

Third banter. It would be interesting since you can have them like people see them with Shadow insulting Mewtwo while Mewtwo acting all superior, but then during the fight they can act like the characters who we love with Shadow wanting to keep his promise to Maria and still fighting while Mewtwo would be interested with the ending being either one apologiezing or giving a sad expresion.

Fourth music. Just listen to Cryo's Born to Destry it's perfect.

Final thoughts:

So yeah overall I think Mewtwo vs Shadow should get a remake due to being a great matchup with a bad episode, whitch also has a LOT of potential.

[coralsgrimes]

I will never understand what Ben sees in JH, but after a few years of silently watching the train wreck that is twin flames... I'm equally confused as to what JH sees in Ben. It's been years and he's still hiding and untagging any mention of the two of them together. A couple more posts popped up about him being at her Memorial Day pool party (one an obvious troll posts) and they all quickly disappeared from his tags.

For someone who loves to rinse and repeat terms like "authentic self" and "healing journey", she needs to add "self-respect" to her limited vocabulary because gurllllll...

They've known each other for years, they're apparently close enough that she leaned on him during her divorce, he wrote a whole EP for her, he seems to be integrating into her friend group and yet he still refuses to be publicly seen with her even though we all know they still hang out. Like girl that's gotta sting. Why keep someone around who is clearly embarrassed/scared to be seen with you? The dick can not be that good.

He doesn't even have a job. The highlights of his year have been one failed show for an album he hasn't mentioned in months, a convention for a canceled tv show and apparently going on a book tour for a book he didn't even write. JH is annoying and a shitty person, but at least she's trying to have a career.

At this point he can't even blame the hiding on the fan girlies bc what fans? He drove off the last of them after following and liking shit from that zionist account. Next to no one cared about the Memorial Day thing, the only person who talks about him on Twitter is that Ben Barnes Property account and there's only a handful of insta accounts that still regularly talk about him. Even the DL can't be bothered to discuss him anymore. You know your boring ass fucked up when even your haters have moved on. Pretty sure the only reason he still has that 2.1 million insta following is bc the majority of us are waiting to see what dumb shit he's going to do next.

I have no idea if they're just friends, dating, a situationship - at this point who cares? We're probably never going to know. But my god, these two are toxic and confusing.

(This got long and ranting fast, so sorry about that but this has been on my mind for awhile and I'd rather step on a rusty nail then admit to people in my life about how invested I am in the life of a D-list celebrity.)

All I can say here is AGREED

And just two follow ups;

1. He got a job now (sorry this an old ask) but like I wouldn't expect anything good from it, it's literally a cable TV one, and a limited series sooooo

2. His insta following is still dropping, he's losing about 10-15k per month now, probably bots not fans but ye can see how fucking desperate he got at one point to get a bigger following. Ma bet is that he's going to get down to 2M by the end of summer and if it keeps up (I don't think he's gonna gain any new followers organically anytime soon), he's gonna get below 2M mid autumn at the very best lol

There's a lesson here obviously - don't kill off your fan base and buy bot followers when instagram is clearing them up anyway...

[petalsmooth]

How to say you don't watch the only story featuring two people as a couple and individuals who are not white without actually saying it...

Yet you watch the all white couple you all swore up and down would flop this season and you were boycotting. Alrighty then...

Meanwhile Polin fans whom you claimed were racists because the couple we follow is played by two white leads (and whom have a very large diverse following in other countries that aren't Eurocentric) have actually watched the other subplots apart from our own couple and know of this scene.

I'm just saying if people wonder why I look side eye at certain fandoms, it's because sometimes you reveal more about yourselves in what you don't say or watch than in what you do.

Your actual statements are often gibberish if not complete lies, but I still don't think it's a point of honor to be showcasing you as a fanbase FastForward through Will and Allice's scenes if a white person isn't in them.

I think the only thing I actually FW'd through was 2 seconds of Ben and Lady Tilley having sex because I'm so over it. I had planned on FW's through the threesome but ended up having a narrative purpose so I watched but I just can't with Ben's random hookups anymore. Even if she is the one that has him explore his sexuality in second half, it's still mostly just sex to this point and I am just tired with him. I like Luke T but it's telling my happiest moment with him this season was the new clip with him, Colin, John and Will at the bar. It's the first time it felt he had a purpose this season. It's kind of reminding me of last year when they kept having Colin twist in circles 2/3rd's of the season doing nothing. But Colin's "nothing" at least involved talking to people I cared about seeing him with. Benedict has been with Tilley and I just don't care.

[lookingforhappy]

my controversial take is that he didn't even need to change his name at all. It would have been fine if he kept the name Vanya.

Vanya is a masculine name, and is used in Anton Chekov's (author of the book that Ben is reading when Five runs away) "Uncle Vanya" for the titular character who is male.

There's a lot of parallels in Viktor's s1 arc to the play Uncle Vanya:

In Uncle Vanya, Vanya is a man who has given up his dreams to stay and support his family, his brother-in-law specifically who is the owner of their house/breadwinner. Vanya initially trusted and fully supported his brother-in-law, possibly even idolising him. (Viktor played a supporting role to his siblings and father, the breadwinners/powerful people in his life, who he idolised.). Vanya's sister died long ago and he is left living with his mother who idolises his brother-in-law, and his adult niece in their country home. His brother-in-law and his new (young) wife often live in the city but for the play's duration have returned to live with the family in the country. (Viktor was surrounded by people who idolised his family, including Grace, Luther, the media and the public, and to an extent Reginald, Pogo and his other siblings. Viktor also lost two of his brothers and was often left behind at home while his family went out on missions.) Vanya has become disillusioned with his brother-in-law, feeling that he doesn't care for the family, but instead only his own wealth and ego. Vanya feels his life is wasted, and is majorly depressed. (Viktor's opinion of his family did a 180 at some point in his teenage years - he went from idolising them to hating them for not including him. He blamed both his father and his siblings for his childhood and his relationship with them into his adulthood. Viktor's medication forced him into a depressive state of mind.) Vanya becomes so enraged by his brother-in-law's selfish decisions, and his disregard for Vanya's life and efforts, that he chases him down with a gun - which he fires at him but misses. Vanya then steals a phial of morphine from the doctor to commit suicide, but is talked down by the doctor and his niece. (Viktor becomes so upset by his family's decisions that he destroys their home and attempts but fails to kill them. He then goes on to attempt to end the world or/and his own life but is stopped by his family.) Uncle Vanya ends with his brother-in-law allowing things to remain as they are, and Vanya's niece reassuring him that even though things seem bleak right now, they'll get better in the future. (Viktor's family forgive him for his attempt and do their best to be a family with him, a reassurance that they'll be better for each other)

There's also a lot of parallels to bombs, which is also fitting as Viktor is described as a bomb at least twice and has caused at least 2 apocalypses. Vanya was the codename of the nuke the Tsar Bomba and was a class of soviet mine hunter ships.

Then there's also the fact that Viktor likely had some input on his original name, Vanya. It's not likely that it was a name he was forced into as Five rejected/never adopted a name, and Reginald never named them with gendered names. Viktor probably chose "Vanya" from the start and liked it enough it enough to keep it for almost 20 years without changing it (something he could have done from age 18 onwards).

Idk I just think that Vanya was such a perfect name compared to Viktor, which can mean "conqueror" so he didn't move away from the violence associations either. the only thing I like about Viktor is that it still begins with a V.

While I respect that the show was conveying the journey of Elliot Page and of a lot of lovely trans folk, I feel like in this instance, a renaming wasn't needed.

One thing that will never stop bothering me about TUA is Viktor's chosen name. Because they clearly wanted something close to his deadname (starting with V, East Slavic), but didn't fucking commit.

If they wanted to go for masculine form of Vanya, they would've named him Ivan. So either fucking commit to birthname being incorporated into the chosen name, or pick something completely different ffs

[liopleurodean]

The Road So Far: Season Three

Well, another season completed, another recap post! Season 3 was full of angst and adventure, and I'm excited to share my thoughts.

One thing I have to say is that I feel like a lot of the conversations between the two brothers were kind of repetitive. At least once every three episodes, they argued about Dean going to Hell, using the same points every time. I'm not entirely sure that they were actually listening to each other.

On that note, I do think we got to see more of how close the two brothers really are. It's easy to be blinded by their arguments and wildly different tastes, but this season threw into light just how much they care about each other despite (and because of) their differences. We also got to see a lot more bonding between them, although it may have been slightly forced because of Dean's time limit. Nonetheless, seeing Dean teach Sam how to care for Baby and watching Sam take more of an initiative on hunts was fun, even if Sam's integrity might be compromised.

I think with Dean going to Hell, the writers really wanted to focus on him more this season (and I am TOTALLY okay with that). My favorite episode was 3x02 The Kids Are Alright, although 5 (Bedtime Stories), 8 (A Very Supernatural Christmas), 11 (Mystery Spot), and 13 (Ghostfacers) were all top contenders. 3x12 (Jus In Bello) gets an honorable mention for the death of Henriksen, a recurring character who really added to the show.

For being the shortest season, 3 really brought a lot to the table. Mystery Spot highlighted just how Dean's impending doom was affecting Sam, but it still managed to be absolutely hilarious. A Very Supernatural Christmas is an iconic episode, and it definitely made me cry (Dean Winchester deserves a hug). In The Kids Are Alright, we got to see more of Dean's softer side. I know Ben isn't his, but I still think they need to redo that DNA test (that kid is doing his level best to imitate Dean, even if he doesn't know it). Unfortunately, I don't think Dean would ever be able to settle down permanently with Lisa (although goodness knows he tries), but his relationship with Ben is heartwarming and it's evident that he would love to be able to have a family, despite his line of work. It's something new to see, given that most of his previous relationships have been one-night stands (barring Cassie).

I've talked a lot about Dean, so let's look at Sam! He's been acting really off this season, although a lot of it is excusable given the circumstances. He's been a bit more... feral, when it comes to hunting, and his moral compass has started to align more with Dean's (that is to say, in the right place, but by dubious methods). Incidentally, Dean seems to have become more righteous, as if the two brothers are swapping places. (I could write so much more about this, but I won't for your sake.) Sam's relationship with other people has also seemed to become more strained. Bobby is becoming more of a mediator between him and Dean, and Sam is now less likely to listen to Bobby's advice (even though by all rights he should be). He also trusts Ruby far too quickly (and I suspect I know why, although I'm not entirely sure of my answer). Overall, Sam has been pretty sketchy, and Dean seems to have taken up the slack of "responsible person."

As far as ranking the seasons, it's hard to choose. I'd put this solidly ahead of season 2, and I think I'd choose it over season 1. Although my favorite episode overall still remains as 1x12, season 3 has more quality content (despite its shorter size).

Next episode we get to meet Castiel for the first time, and I'm excited! Team Free Will is coming together, and the story keeps on chugging. Carry on!