#so i really hope it was a good month | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jeffersonhairpie · 1 year ago

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Fandom: Block B Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: halloween fic, Crack, Humor Summary: The captain and crew of the Blockbuster take on Halloween (Nilili Mambo/Very Good AU)

“Someone please tell me he doesn’t mean what I think he means,” Jaehyo whimpers.

“I would love to,” Kyung breathes, “really Jaehyo you have no idea how much I would love to tell you that you’re wrong right now, but that would be lying and I’m an honest man.”

“You wouldn’t know the truth if it bit your dick off.”

#blocktober23!#block b fic #rixy writes fic #i am queing this up ahead of time to make sure i'm posting stuff for the Celebrations #so i really hope it was a good month #anyway i wrote this fic ten years ago i did not re-read it before sharing it might be ass

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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literaphobe · 6 months ago

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You Didn't Tell - Abby S.

#text #miraculous ladybug #ladynoir #mlbposting #ladybug #chat noir #gif #PLEASE. please please please rb this #please tell me u all see the vision.......#this took me months to brainstorm ok ngl i was just procrastinating #but it FITS THEM SO WELL THINK ABOUT IT #i hope u all think this looks good i thank my one week adobe free trial #lets think about how his half of loving and looking is so apparent and open #both of them are displayed in a wide frame a huge display that anyone could see if they walked past!#but hers are so up close and personal... u only really notice if you take a closer look bc she keeps it all to herself #hides it Almost too well

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sporeclan · 4 months ago

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< Previous | First | Next >

Just a buncha really cute and sweet interactions this time around <3 They all care for eachother soooo much :')

#clangen #clan generator #warriors oc #warrior cats #sporeclan #after oakfox died it seems like foxspeckle and piperdapple have gotten really close and its so so so freaking sweet. i love them so much #and then crowstar reassuring dawnpelt too ;;; and lil greenkit doing such a good job;;:;;; AND MOUSEGROVE :;;;:;;; AUUGHHHHHHHH #theyre all bonding <3<3<3<3 #sc:moons #sc:foxspeckle #sc:piperdapple #sc:strawkit #sc:cliffthicket #sc:greenkit #sc:soltalon #sc:lizardkit #sc:spottedfrost #sc:crowstar #sc:dawnpelt #sc:mousegrove #FINALLY back to the moons....... yall would not believe how busy ive been #reason i completely vanished for a while is that i actually took a trip to america about a month ago! very fun but took a lot outta me #and then i suddenly had to do a buncha other stuff for the past couple weeks too #BUT now im back to business as usual!!! i hope :')

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canisalbus · 1 year ago

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✦ 2023 summary of art ✦

#CanisAlbus #art #artists on tumblr #own art #own characters #yea you can sort of tell when this train got derailed #there's pre and post Vasco 2023 #the good thing is I've been more productive this year than in past 5+ years combined #haven't had this much fun drawing in ages I hope it shows at least in some way or another #unless something really drastic happens I'll probably continue along this trajectory for a while #I might reach a saturation point eventually but there's no way of knowing when that'll happen #so I'm just going to try to make the most of this intense and self-indulgent oc art period #your feedback and support mean a lot to me I hope this year will be as good as 23 #thank you for bearing with me #the missing month is March I didn't post a single thing in March #cw blood #blood #cw gore #gore #cw head injury #head injury

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 2 years ago

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#selfie bee #me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails #i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade #FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun #this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇｀)ﾉ #I would also love to learn how to make a handstand #imagine if you could just make yourself upside down #but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either #but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun #it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car #I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact #I wonder how he is doing today #since that moment I think about pheasants a lot #I knew they were real but I had never seen one #just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling #right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet #get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either #I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts #also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad #but I love it

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bardspeak · 7 months ago

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Happy pride month everyone!

The gay jedi in question:

#star wars #art #yoda #obi wan kenobi #luke skywalker #fanart #pride month #!!!!!!#this is a terrible obi wan but i hope you'll forgive my crimes bc the yodas actually look really good.#also i hope no one has done exactly this before but it might be so. rip.

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deoidesign · 9 months ago

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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways.#time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

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cloudinal · 11 days ago

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Saying you loved me made things harder at best

#p3 #persona 3 #p3 fanart #persona 3 fanart #ryoji mochizuki #makoto yuki #minato arisato #ryomina #my art #drawing this was. a wild ride #i've been meaning to draw this since around april or may #but i only got around to it earlier this month #i really really love minato and ryoji's relationship #i don't think i talk about it enough...!#i think it's really interesting just how similar they both are #and how their relationship transforms each other #but also i like how their arcs go in opposite directions #minato starts off afraid of hurting people so he isolates himself #then by the end of the game he's learned to grow closer to those he cares about despite the risk of hurt #meanwhile ryoji starts off open to people and eager to accept others into his life #but he concludes his arc deliberately isolating himself out of fear of hurting others #like arrrrrgh it's so good!!#anyway. that's enough from me for now haha. happy new year #i hope this year has treated you well and that next year will be kind to you

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marblerose-rue · 1 year ago

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basking in moonlight

#my art #jayfeather #wc #waca #warrior cats #wc art #HIIII sorry for not posting for like a month . got sick for a week + still in the throes of a hyperfixation HAHA #hope everyones 2024 is going well so far :] mines going good!!!#I ALSO HOPE YALL ARE STAYING WARM GOOD LORD .. it's cold and getting colder #classes start again in a few days so im really looking forward to that ^_^#ive been drawing + writing a lot but ive just not been Posting .#but i Havent been drawing a lot of cats. so this was mostly to remind myself i can still do that HAHAHA #hopefully there arent any errors to correct bc im gonna go play bg3 for a while (to the surprise of nobodyLMAO)

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pnfc · 5 months ago

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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece