#so i like to think that i kinda know stuff but i probably don't
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syluscrows Ā· 8 hours ago
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LNDS boys reacting to Cupcakke songs
I genuinely love cupcakke so much she is so creative šŸ«¶šŸ»šŸ©· my favourite lyrics of hers are "But my cum is Caucasian"
But.. how would the LNDS boys react to her songs??? šŸ˜
SUGGESTIVE - SYLUS, ZAYNE, XAVIER
Mdni
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Xavier - Backstage Passes
- "You want me to listen to a song..?" "I think you'll like it Xav!" (you were wrong)
- At first I think he would be internally jamming to be honest. But..
- "O-oh..." Is his only response when she sings "Got my asshole squinting on his dick like it might fuck around and get glasses"
- I think he would get super embarrassed.. the reddest you've ever seen his cheeks šŸ˜­
- "I didn't expect this.." once the gagging noises start
- Once you explain it to him a bit he does think it's kinda funny.
- I'm sorry, but I really do think he would get hard? He doesn't know what to think!
Zayne - CPR
-Man is frowning from the start...
- It just doesn't seem like his kind of thing?
- But the fact she's slurping and moaning from the start, he is already SILENT..
- He is so tense and unmoving he might as well be a piece of furniture
- "I save dick by giving it CPR" "But- that's not how cpr-" "shut up nerd"
- He wouldn't laugh, he would look DEFEATED
- "Oh my God Zayne are you SWEATING?" "Yes..."
- If you measured his heart rate you wouldn't hear a fucking thing he's in shock.
- "Okay, I get it now.." "I'm not turning it off."
- As it ends he's just.. frozen in place.
- "Zayne you can breathe.. it's over.." "Please don't do that to me again."
Sylus - Deepthroat
- Mans loves music right..? And ideally I'd like to think he's quite open to discovering different genres / artists, so I don't think he would question if you wanted him to listen to ANYTHING.
- First 17 seconds he looks so focused
- I think he would genuinely break his facade and piss himself laughing the moment the "HUMP MEE FUCK MEEE" starts
-"Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist??" He looks IMPRESSED (HER LYRICS R SO CREATIVE HOW COULDN'T HE BE??)
- He is speechless when she starts moaning, in a good way???
- "I think I like this music" "oh?" "I think I'll get it on vinyl." "NO SYLUS.."
- "Put it so deep I can't speak a sentence" HE WOULD SMIRK IM SORRY
- Turns to look at you SHOCKED when he hears "I ain't swallow one kid I think I swallowed twins!" (He's still laughing though)
- "So, can we go to one of her concerts?" "Anything you want, kitten"
- I think he wouldn't mind listening to the rest of her songs, he seems like he would find this kind of stuff funny?
- Perverted man would probably ask if you showed that to him for certain reasons.. "So, I'm guessing you'd like to recreate all of that..?" "I just wanted you to react to it--"
BONUS: the twins would fucking love it.
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gayferrari Ā· 2 days ago
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okay i am coming to you as carlos fan who loves charles to my core (he is my soul sister!!!) but only ever roots for him for ferrari reasons, trying to see this from charles fans pov how is anything that happened tonight carlosā€™s fault and not just ferrariā€™s faultā€¦ like i try to be critical and i love to shit on carlos when he is stupid (bc he is stupid a lot) (for example spain24 i fear i am not on his side there) but ferrari fucked carlos over so bad today with his pit stop like i truly believe the thing that happened with charles was more of a fuck you to ferrari and not anything to do with charles at all so like i get why charles fans are upset butā€¦ i donā€™t know again would like to hear your thoughts on tonight
DISCLAIMER VIEWS MY OWN (as in. I don't speak for all Charles fans and probably not even a majority of them about this. and I enjoy it when athletes are petty and angry and grudgy and let out their ugly sides)
my first takeaway is that it's truly not that deep. Like, yeah, it's race day emotions are running high but so are the emotions of the guys in those cars. they're gonna get out of the car, calm down, shower, go on with their lives, and not think half as hard about this stuff as fans do, and some fans will remain upset for far longer than their blorbos will ever remember this. I think it is good to keep in mind before getting worked up
what happened: [regardless of garage 55 brainfart moment] Charles was ahead before the pit stops. At the pit exit, Bryan told Charles that Carlos had been told not to fight him and he should just focus on tyre temp instead of defending; Carlos went ahead and overtook him anyway. (That's when Charles said "Next time tell him in Spanish") Later, when Max was right behind Carlos and Charles was trying to overtake Max, Carlos was really slow. Like, there's speculation on reddit that he was feeding Max DRS <- not saying it happened (WE will never know) BUT he was slow enough that other people went "Wait this is weird," and his frustrated teammate would have noticed. If EYE was fighting for the wcc and I even suspected my teammate put someone else between the two of us (costing the team points) to protect his individual race, I would also go off about it. Regardless of whether it's true. Again! Not saying this is what happened and we will never know, but earlier in the race Carlos was definitely told not to overtake, and did it, and between the two of them he's the one with a history of ignoring team orders.
EYE (tumblr user gayferrari) have my own opinions. nuance button. I don't think you should get a gold star for being a "good teammate" or that following team orders is always the right thing. But CHARLES clearly values it, and in the past he's actually put his money where his mouth is and pulled his weight even when it cost him individual points, and I can understand he'd go on a heated tirade for 4 seconds when he's high on adrenaline. I don't think any of this should be a big tell about Charles's personality, team dynamics, his relationship with Carlos or whatever. I think he just spoke without a filter for a couple seconds, and I believe in taking these kinds of radio moments with a big pinch of salt. I'm gonna RPFy the shit out of this because I am on f1blr to have fun not to get angry. But I don't agree Charles was mad at the team, it was a very much "other side of the garage" kinda moment.
(*) note also that Carlos was told to swap with Charles earlier and DID do that, but after a few laps / because he was struggling with pace + very early on, when Charles dropped P2 -> P4, he was the one who spontaneously brought up letting Carlos pass because he knew he was struggling. So they both had moments where they were collaborating this race. I'm bringing this up for completion's sake, like, yeah Carlos swapped when asked even if late! But he also overtook when told not to
I hope this clears it up! Again, it's MY view that it's not that serious because we all choose how to enjoy sports and I'd much rather get angry about other things I feel matter more, and leave the petty drama as RPF fodder. But everyone enjoys sports differently so I can't speak for others
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orangelemonart Ā· 14 hours ago
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what is your favorite arc in Naruto? i read something where someone explained the land of waves arc and how some of the themes were abandoned that Naruto hated how ninja was and he wanted to be the change but he did not do that - i did not finish watching shippuden i will but i don't care for spoilers and i wanna know what you think? and if you would change something to reflect back to the whole lets make a better world cause the one before us was terrible if you care about that kinda stuff
I used to feel that way. A million years ago, when the manga's war arc felt endless, I thought the series was abandoning all it's themes.
But after years of thinking way too much about this series, I believeJiraiya's "Quest For Peace" idea creates a through line from Land of Waves to the rest of the series and proves the themes WEREN'T abandoned. Putting this under a read more cause I rambled.
I'm sure the anime is worse because the war arc takes much longer there (I didn't watch the anime as is), so it really feels like we're losing the point for long stretches. But Naruto stays true to his feelings after the Zabuza and Haku stuff through the whole series. He refused to be a tool- his whole thing in that arc- when everyone was telling him to let Sasuke be executed, when they tried to keep him from the war, every thing or flashback about Nagato or Jiraiya's concept of a quest for peace. Hell it's WHY he was able to reach Obito. It's what he yaps about in every Talk-no-Jutsu
I think the entire series strongly supports that idea that Naruto would keep his vows to everyone he T-n-Jed about finding the best, least-violent solutions to conflict and oppression, all flowing from his Land of Waves experience. They're practically OVEREXPLAINED, not abandoned, that's why people make fun of T-n-J so much. And from what little I know about the spin-off series, his whole quest-for-peace/not-giving-up-not-being-a-tool/fix-everything/my-own-ninja-way is why he's busier than other kages, and why the antagonists are ninja moon aliens. Naruto is maintaining world peace, the only place left for villains is OUT OF THIS WORLD.
Anyway that's probably why the 5-Kage Summit is my favorite arc. A lot of (DUMB) people hate it because they think "well the whole village likes Naruto now, that should be the end of the series!", failing to realize Naruto's real goal has changed from being leader so everyone would treat him better, to being a leader who makes the world better for others. He spends that arc grappling with just how difficult that is through the microcosm of how he can't even do that for Sasuke, meanwhile Sasuke is dealing with the emotional ramifications of the cycle of revenge and CONSTANTLY being used as a tool by others. I think that arc strengthens the themes and character development.
I don't think it's perfect, of course. I think there's some muddiness in "not being a tool" and maintaining the ninja system. These things should have been addressed on a world-scale, not just a Sasuke-scale, after chapter 698. There should have been at least a cursory sentence about how Naruto as hokage is working hard to end oppression and cycles of revenge around the world, how even though he hasn't fixed everything, he isn't giving up or backing down! That's all it'd take, but nooooo we had dedicate the entire last chapter to introducing spin-off characters instead of addressing the themes of the series. The 5 Great Nations have more amicable summits, that's all we got.
I have a comic about what I would do differently, SOMEDAY I'll finish coloring it.... someday......
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wildkimiko Ā· 2 days ago
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Instead of doing convention prep, why don't I draw the blorbos instead
This started as me just warming up for working on some OTHER important stuff but uh. Yeah! Someday I'll learn how to draw Emmet's hat consistently but that day is NOT today.
More rambling below the cut:
When Sheyla gets serious about battling, she gets SCARY. She didn't exactly know how to turn off the scary, so trainers were afraid to battle her for a while after she became Champion. She'll take all your money. :P Now she only turns on the scary for big serious battles, or against Team Plasma.
She rarely gets sick, but when she does, it takes her OUT. Or, she probably overworked herself training with Inari again. Training with ghost types that don't have a good grasp on their power is verrrry dangerous. :P
Emmet and Sheyla laughing about something. What? Idk lmao, you tell me.
Sheyla's Sygna Suit with Togekiss! It's a whole-ass Lolita/EGL coord and is absolutely outside of the realm of anything she would wear. She cleans up pretty nice. (it's the nicest thing she will probably ever wear outside of Nimbasa. Even Elesa was surprised.) Emmet thinks it's cute. (*/Ļ‰ļ¼¼*)
Lmao, I just love the twins and the whole eye glow thing. Don't fuck around on the subway.
Emmet lost, but the trainer was being a real asshole about it. :P
now off to draw more shippy stuff heheheheheehe~
ALSO. I decided on a ship name I think? Ferroequinology is the study of trains (comes from the words iron and horse, which is sick af), and since Sheyla is a researcher first and Champion, I kinda figured it fit. She does like studying trains, and one of the conductors of said trains. :P
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jujus-bizarre-blog Ā· 2 days ago
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SOC and CK allegories for the queer characters (and other thoughts)
I was going to make a separate blog to yell about books but I decided to do it here.
I AM NOT DONE CROOKED KINGDOM AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS SO EVERYTHING I SAY IS HAVING ONLY READ HALF THE BOOK SO FAR.
The Grishaverse doesn't seem to have any form of homophobia, but SOC and CK are chalk fulllllllll of what I can only see as plots that mimic queer experiences for the queer characters in the main group.
We have four queer characters (that I know of at the moment): Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Kuwei.
So let's start with the obvious, three of the four are Grisha. Obviously not all Grisha are queer, but all the Grisha in the party are. This gives them an automatic plotline of "hide who you are".
It could be said that since Nina is Ravkan she wasn't raised that way, and no, she wasn't. However since leaving Ravka she has been forced to hide for her safety, and not only that but she is frequently told she's "too much" which sounds a lot to me like what some people say about queer people when they think queer people should be less queer. Also Matthias is all about being "traditional" and "proper" and Nina's whole thing is that she is neither. Traditional and proper sound a lottttt like some people's arguments to be homophobic.
Jesper's I think is rather obvious. His father has a clear concern for his son being Grisha since it can put your life at risk. In Jesper's argument with his dad he goes off and asks his dad why did he never let him go to Ravka where he could be himself and learn about himself and his powers. Oh not to mention the fact that him and his dad talk around him being Grisha like it's some sort of virus that can be caught by simply speaking the word.
Kuwei's took a second to hit me but when it did I was like "ah yep, makes sense" and this is probably because it took me a hot second to realize Kuwei was queer. Yeah, apparently him being jealous that Jesper only looked at Wylan a certain way didn't tip me off... ANYWAY THOUGH. Kuwei is also told to hide who he is, but his dad goes the extra length of literally making a drug to help him hide himself. Is it giving anyone else Dorian's dad from Dragon Age vibes??? Blood magic for the gay son???
FINALLY, I will talk about my baby, the character I love more than anything else. Wylan. Here's the thing about Wylan, while I was reading SOC I wasn't sure if homophobia existed in this world yet and I was half convinced that his dad disowned him because gay. While his dad obviously didn't do that, I still think at the end of the day it portrays an experience that is very similar. Wylan is shamed, hidden, and ultimately his dad tries to have him killed, all because he can't read. His dad loathes him over such a stupid reason, especially since Wylan is absolutely brilliant at tons of stuff and the cutest lil guy. But I think it's that hatred of his son over something so trivial that really lends itself to being about something else entirely, Wylan being queer.
All four of our queer characters in the main group have different plots, but ultimately they all circle around the idea of hiding who you are and being ashamed of who you are. That sounds like a very common queer experience if you ask me.
I don't know if this was intentional or just a huge coincidence. As a writer myself I am all too aware of how easily accidental metaphors and symbols can happen. But I think about it a lot as I'm reading so I wanted to shout about it either way. I also have no clue if this is a common idea or not, I just know when I pointed it out to my friends who had read the books prior, one of who loves and reads them yearly, they both kinda went "oh damn, you right," but didn't see it before I mentioned it.
Anyway, if I missed things (or you wanna yell at me about how wrong I am, which is usually the more likely option) I'd love to know thoughts :)
AND BONUS THOUGHTS
This one is super obvious but I just wanna say it. Jesper is ADHD and no one will change my mind in the history of ever. This man cannot sit still, has been described as having limitless energy, and he seeks constant immediate gratification in the form of gambling and adrenalin rushes. COME ON MAN. I know I know, there's a lore reason, something something Grisha not using magic blah blah. No. No. He is ADHD and you cannot tell me otherwise. And I love him dearly.
Also, not a theory or anything but, y'all, I love Wylan so much. I just wanna give him a hug and a lollipop and tell him it's okay. He's so cute.
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avaritia-ffxiv Ā· 2 days ago
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So the story with Sidurgu is that my forever Xaela obsessed ass was shown a single screenshot of him before I'd ever reached Ishgard and gotten access to the DRK stuff myself. Based on that one screenshot I decided DRK would be my ultimate goal with my first character who was my then-main.
Basically I was obsessed with the guy before knowing a single thing about him other than what he looked like and that he was a Dark Knight, which was enough for me to go crazy for him.
But I don't thiiiiiink I was originally thinking about shipping my WoL with him or anything? 'Cause again, I knew nothing about him so I had no way of knowing if there would be any chemistry at all between him and my WoL and I demand chemistry for everything (and I don't remember if I was much thinking about shipping my WoL dude with really anyone? I was of course considering his relationship and dynamics with the NPCs he encountered, but possibly not with anything romantic in mind. Not sure tho).
But thus determined to get to HW and unlock DRK for myself, I went through ARR and its patches, got to Ishgard, rushed to the DRK unlock quest the moment it became available for me.
Pretty fast I realized that my WoL, also a Xaela himself, had... Very good chemistry with Sidurgu. As I played through the DRK quests, my WoL's "I like him" vibes only intensified, and by the time we reached the last HW DRK quest, it was already irreversible. But the actual "oh" moment was before that; sadly it's been a good ass while since I played the DRK quests so I can't remember which quest it was exactly that had my guy going like "okay I'd like to explore a relationship with him". Probably around mid-HW tho, if I had to guess. I vaguely remember there being some dialog Sidurgu had either at the end of a quest or between quests that completely locked the whole deal, though, 'cause he's definitely one of those NPCs that ends up sounding like he like likes the WoL lmfao.
It was kinda slow burn tho, 'cause my mans wasn't the type to rush into anything and I characterize Sidurgu as pretty emotionally constipated, so there was no rushing into anything with them. But yeah, the actual "this shall be pursued" was relatively early on both IC and OOC.
And now they're bfs and co-dads and it's very cute. Too bad I retired Saahe to the point he doesn't even exist as a playable character I have in the game anymore 'cause I fantad him out of existence, but the mens are still very special to me.
Lookie them
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fellow wol x npc shippers- If applicable, what was the "oh" moment for you and your oc falling for their love interest? Was yours seperate from your WoL's?
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cloudiness Ā· 2 months ago
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btw never seen an episode of '9-1-1' in my life ever but i know about the general existence of 'buddie' through this hell-site and it has just come to my attention that one of those two is gonna have a moustache next season and idk why but that moustache is suspicious, something's going on, I feel like something fruity will happen because of that moustache, you guys need to get ready
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slymanner Ā· 27 days ago
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Look all I'm saying is if that a shadow game can work THAT well and be so well designed story wise and gameplay wise
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HE can work
#sonic#silver the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#silver right now is such a open canvas of a character#story wise and gameplay wise#he's been a side character for so long and in the one time he was a main character his whole story was basically axed from canon#he's definitely been explored since then but not to extent we've probably wanted with this character-#and I'm talking mostly game silver cause obviously in IDW and archie he got some LOVE there#even if we never saw idw silver actually explore his good future#which i still think is a shame but also apparently if sega doesn't want that to be explored in a comic and saved for the games then#THEY BETTER EXPLORE IT SOON#and honestly gameplay wise he needs another shot as well#like C'MON his psychic's just needed better...well...PSYCHIC'S TO WORK#can you imagine what cool and fun movement he'd have now that sega is now slowy understanding what kinda stuff they wanna do with#the sonic franchise again and how it should play#i don't know if i should fully expect a silver game at any point#but he should ATLEAST be a second main character in a new game so people can be reintroduced to him and they can cook with him#IM TIRED OF SEEING MY SON GETTING HATED ON OR CALLED LAME#I WANT PEOPLE TO BE REMINDED OR SHOWN HOW COOL AND FUN HE CAN BE WHEN GIVEN THE SPOTLIGHT#archie and idw are the best examples of him as a character#he is a lovable friend and ally#but serious when he can be character#and his powers are literally so COOL AND INHERENTLY UNIQUE AND POWERFUL COMPARED TO OTHER'S IN THE CAST#like when surge saw silver come in casually carrying a large object and she got nervous THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT#THIS MAN CAN BE A THREAT.#okay rant over DHDNDNDB
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kaiserouo Ā· 2 months ago
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can i get on his shoulder if im being annoying enough
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xylionet Ā· 2 days ago
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They can probably all see a bit of themselves in Omega, even if they don't quite understand it. She's like the version of themselves that could have been, if not for Kamino and being raised as child soldiers.
I think part of the reason Hunter focuses on Omega is that she's the one thing he can actually do something about. Can't do anything about Crosshair, can't do anything about the Empire, doesn't feel like he can do anything about Cid and is probably hoping that just following her orders will eventually yield a good result, even though it never does.
But Omega looks at him with those big brown eyes like he hung the stars and only wants stuff he can actually give. She is a source of positive feedback and affection and frankly probably the only thing keeping him sane (see S3, where he kinda went off the deep end the second she's gone).
Realistically, Hunter has always kinda had the Dad/Ori'vod/Big Bro vibes, he was just used to applying them to three chaos gremlins around his own age and with a common military background. Cut's child rearing advice was just a bit of a tweak to his existing process to be a bit more Very Smol Baby focused.
However, Cut's running away advice was much, much scarier. Basically "stop doing the only stuff you know how to do". Cut himself had Suu to support him through that transition. Hunter and the boys don't. They would if they stayed together but I also think at that point in S1 he kind of thought they'd be able to retrieve Crosshair and things might go back to "normal" relatively soon.
If you've read any stories written by kids who were raised super isolated from the outside world and how they struggled to adapt - they're like that. But I don't think they know they're like that.
They've had so many experiences, but not the ones they need now. They're in a position where they don't know they don't know and nobody is telling them. They're very smart, but they just have so little exposure to those different to themselves.
If we compare S1 Hunter to Old Hunter from the end of S3, the difference is palpable. Not just because he's older but because support was provided.
I can absolutely see Shep and Phee getting all the local parents and grandparents and aunties and uncles who can give good advice together, cracking out some BBQ and beers, and lubricating the boys until they talk about their issues. So they can finally get them some damn help.
---
Anyway, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It feels like the most coherent thing I've managed to write in a while, and as you can see, it still gives me feels. It was kinda spawned from reading too many "why didn't Hunter try harder to rescue Crosshair?" posts.
They are so messed up is why. They're broke and homeless is why. They are this close to living in a cardboard box under a bridge and they don't even know. They can barely rescue themselves, let alone Crosshair.
Clone Force 99 was in trouble
We donā€™t really talk about just how bad a situation CF99 was in post-Aftermath.
So we have a group of guys who have been raised as soldiers and have functioned in a military their entire lives. They have been fed, clothed and supplied by a military their entire lives. Zero experience with anything else. And then they have to run away from everything they know with nothing but a ship, whatever is on that ship, whatever they are wearing and +1 child.
We then see that they really have no clue how to function outside the military. They have a fairly limited understanding of the value of a dollar. They do not know how to get a job, despite having valuable skills. Thereā€™s no indication they are living anywhere but on their fairly small ship.
Most importantly, they are unable to identify that they are being financially manipulated by Cid. Tech occasionally mentions that sheā€™s unreliable and shorting them pay, but none of them seem to understand that she is systematically taking advantage of them. Cid is effectively a loan shark, intentionally locking them in with arbitrary debt and using their financial naivety to keep them working for her.
Echo is the only one to point out that they could just leave, but they donā€™t. Rex even comes along and offers them a way out. Hunter isnā€™t wrong to say they want something different, but heā€™s struggling to achieve that and doesnā€™t really know what the options are.Ā  It kind of feels like he misses the big picture of what is being offered.
Rex is in a much better position because he is a bit more worldly but also has support from Ahsoka and other contacts outside the military. People who can help him with all of the things that CF99 is struggling with. He also has a goal and a sense of community with other clones that CF99 lacks.
It does feel like CF99 takes comfort in having a chain of command and being in a position where someone is taking care of supplying them, even though itā€™s actually digging them a deeper hole. It isnā€™t until mid-Season 2 when Phee comes along and introduces them to a community that they start learning how to cope outside of those structures.
Crosshair is kind of in the opposite situation. Heā€™s still getting supplied by the military but heā€™s also getting love bombed by the fascists with his fancy new title and all the fun explosives and stuff. He thinks heā€™s being valued for being special, rather than being used as a convenient tool. He feels like they could just have all this great stuff too, if only they come join the Empire, when in reality he is also in a lot of danger.
Itā€™s rather ironic that Crosshair and Hunter are both able to see each otherā€™s situations for what they are, but not their own.
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starflungwaddledee Ā· 1 year ago
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kirbytober 2023 21 + 26 : fav characters + ship [ prev || next ]
putting this at the top because it's extremely important but i received a message implying that some folks headcanon these two as drastically different ages. you may headcanon whatever you like of course, but in my work i firmly think that they're both full adults who are at least 25+. this is abundantly clear in my work. i'm not interested in headcanoning any of them as literal children and i would never touch that shit. dni if you think that sort of ship would actually be okay. don't be a freak. thanks.
very typical to take your favs and then also shove them together but isn't that the point. anyway i have literally never seen anybody else ship them (if you're out there... hello... šŸ˜­) despite them both being very main characters and i don't know why?? they could be so cute i think...
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they are both industrious adventurers, prolific hard-workers (team task doers), and a little cheekily competitive!
i think that bandee is no stranger to a wide variety of close and intense relationships; he's beloved by many and loves them all equally but distinctly in turn. magolor on the other hand has been sooo isolated and lonely for such a long-ass time, he barely knows how to be friends let alone really care for someone. bandee is smart enough to be suitably wary but kind enough to give him a chance despite that, which i think would knock him off his non-existent feet instantly. in reply, magolor could give him something unique by loving and prioritising him utterly singularly, in a way bandee wouldn't even have realised he was missing
in awtdy (pictured in the sketch page; if you see a tattered looking magolor in my art it's probably this au) in particular they are both thrown into the angst soup together and come out insanely trauma bonded at the hip. their friendship/relationship is central to the plotline; together they're working on a solution to the timeline anomaly, while also hiding that they even really know each other the whole time
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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover Ā· 7 months ago
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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lieutenantselnia Ā· 3 months ago
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Sometimes you just find quotes from historical figures that make you go "yeah, they may not have been particularly the best person ... but the specific thing they point out right there, big mood"
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rocklandjbrin Ā· 15 hours ago
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Rockland fiddled with his cane a moment, as silence drew between them. Had he upset Wade with his comment? Made him feel worse somehow? But then a thanks came, and relief settled over his shoulders. "'course, no problem." The teen shrugged. Not today. A little snort met that, "Didn't think so."
Yeah... being heard was definitely something he didn't often feel with his old man. "Thanks... Means a lot, too." Wade had failed science? "I dunno, failing at school doesn't mean you don't know shi-" He swore, "I'm not doin' all that great either- in school, I mean, but I've looked into stuff." He liked learning, it was just kinda hard to keep up in class. He was late a lot, or even full on skipped sometimes, for one reason or another. Learning about mitochondria and stuff wasn't exactly easy when he was dreaming about hamburgers and oreos and ramen. He tried to study at the library sometimes, to help make up for it, but it wasn't the same. His teachers mostly thought he was just slacking off, and he ran with it.
Pretty responsible? He doubted that's how his father or his school would describe him, and it's not like he never goofed off, but, "I dunno. I try. Kinda have to, right?" He looked tired, as he spoke. He couldn't trust his old man to look after either of them, so he'd been left to pick up some of the pieces. "Thanks." He didn't really want to be the responsible one. Not all the time. He wanted to goof off. To have friends he could invite over. He was missing out on being a kid. But that was the way his world worked.
"It's not like I'm gonna sue you for bein' nice." The teen assured him, "I appreciate it dude, seriously."
As for his Mom? "I dunno. Haven't seen her since I was a baby, 'pparently she ran off." At the offer to try and find her, Rockland's stomach churned. Nerves washed over him, distant emotions welling up in his chest. Did he want to find her? "I mean, she left me, she probably doesn't want any part, you know?" That was the bitterness talking, the anger and sense of abandonment. He avoided eye contact, took another sip of his lemonade, and the bottle was almost empty now. Guess he wasn't saving it. "Her name's Sadie, she was a professor? Don't know what of- like, what she taught." He shrugged, kicked at a pebble on the ground. "I doubt she'd want me reaching out though."
And then there was the goose butt. At least that helped to lighten things up. "Definitely not, that'd be gross." A little smirk. The teen caught Wade checking his watch, and felt a knowing pang in his chest. They had been talking for a while... "I don't really have a curfew, main rule's just don't cause a ruckus when I get back. I can head back though, if you're like, gettin' tired. Guess it's probably gettin' late..." Hold up. "Do you sleep?"
Well that caught their attention alright. A middle finger had shot into the air, directed at a group of teens across the street who were hovering by a Duncan Donuts long closed for the night. The boy beneath the hoodie, propelling said finger, sneered. Just like that, the group of five moved towards him, the tallest, Shacks, sauntering forward with an irritating air of confidence. And to think, there'd been a time when Rockland had thought he was cool.
"You can't seriously blame us, Rocky." He looked to the others with cruel amusement, "It was a prank, get a sense of hum-" Too busy searching for the favour of his crew, he'd missed the draw of the younger teen's fist before it met his cheek.
"Prank my ass, I could've been arres-oof." Rockland was tackled by Archie, the smallest of the bunch, who was about a head shorter than he was, but kinda stalky for his age, and with the element of surprise on his side. Cane clattering out of hand, and across the sidewalk, the lanky teen scraped across the pavement, electric pain radiating up from his tailbone. He caught the breath that had been knocked out of him just in time to catch the thump of a fist to the nose in return. - For Wade
Wade didn't know what to make of this city yet. He'd only been here a couple days and was still trying to get his bearings. It wasn't a bad city, he thought, just cold. Just... really cold when you're alone, like all cities are. Nevertheless, Wade did some hunting and stocked up on other supplies, always wanting to stay on the move. That's how he got jobs, and that's how he kept sane.
Tonight had been quiet enough so far... that is until he heard sounds of a fight. But a fight... between kids? Was he hearing this right? Wade made his way toward the sounds, and sure enough, some kids whose parents were absent and whose bedtimes must be fast-approaching were going at it. Or rather, several kids were beating up on one unfortunate one.
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"Hey! Come on, cut it out, what the hell're you guys doin'?!" Wade yelled, hoping to scatter the bullies. "You know better than this, get off him! Don't make me call the cops!" he said, watching as they all scattered... save for one. Wade knelt down beside the boy lying on the ground. "Hey, buddy, you okay?" he asked gently.
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insertsomthinawesome Ā· 10 months ago
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I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things šŸ˜‚ So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D šŸŽ‰šŸŽ‰āœØāœØšŸ§”šŸ’œ
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wah i looove their designs and animation...
#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#elemental fanart#ember lumen#wade ripple#it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct#and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good#and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive#in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol#also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything#also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol#or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like#ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place#one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol#always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time#and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing#even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it#like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.
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