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nightowlwriting · 3 years ago

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summary: caleb is not so sure that he deserves the kindness you've done for him. you're sure that he deserves so much more, and you plan to show him in small increments so that you don't scare him away. the shopping trip is only the beginning. (part 3/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)

word count: 2.1k

warnings: caleb's low self-esteem, mentions of political corruption, set early in c2

note: i am only on ep16 of c2 so that's where we're at folks, also my german is so so so rusty so uhhh hope it's right but any germans want to correct me feel free lmfao

masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3

Caleb Widogast is a jumpy, jumpy man. You assume it’s for good reason - he’d confided in the group that he met Nott in jail and, well, typically people don’t go to jail unless they’ve done something.

(Although, the more that you adventure with the Mighty Nein you’re not so sure that’s true. It seems like corruption runs deep in the Empire, and you’ve only scratched the surface.)

Still, he is far jumpier than even Nott, and she’s a goblin in the Empire. You watch him, sometimes, and cringe when he flinches. It’s not pity that makes you start being nice to Caleb, but that does color your actions in the beginning. You are of the firm belief that he is a good person, that all of the Nein are, and that they deserve kindness. Caleb most of all. He is so hard on himself and no amount of coaxing from the rest of the group can get him to ease up. Not even Nott, and she functions as his pseudo-mother. But you want him to loosen up, want more of those moments where he makes a joke with a straight face, only to crack a small smile when the group looks away from him. (You try not to look away, craving those moments where you can see the smile light up his face.) When your group arrives in Zadash, you make it your mission to get Caleb to feel some sort of positive emotions about himself.

Or some sort of positive emotion that’s not scarred by whatever happened in his past. You want him to be happy, to heal from whatever keeps him held back from joking with the rest of you. It doesn’t even matter if he reciprocates how you feel about him - you don’t really care. You can love him from afar, be kind to him, and that will be enough for you. He doesn’t have to fall in love with you like you’ve fallen in love with him, really, that’s not why you’re doing this. This being stopping by Pumat’s shop to pick up some more spell scrolls for him with your gold. He had been muttering to himself the last time you were all in about not having enough money, but you hadn't wanted to embarrass him by purchasing them on his behalf, so a separate trip it is. Pumats, all of them, seem to know what you’re doing because they smile when you tuck the scrolls under your cloak and sweep out of the shop.

Your next stop is an ink shop, where you pick up some more ink and incense for Caleb. You’re not really sure how his magic works because it’s not something he was born with or given by a God, but you know that he’s always looking for good ink, parchment, and incense. Just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean that you can’t be supportive. You hope that’s what Caleb will get out of your gift, and not anything else. After you gather the magic supplies - you’d asked specifically for the things that wizards use just to make sure - you make your way to the Chastity’s Nook. Maybe Caleb was joking about wanting to be titillated while he learns, but you feel better safe than sorry.

The worker there is incredibly nice, if not shy, and helps you pick out something educational, historical, and terribly smutty. It makes you blush when you glance through it, but it seems to be the right balance of the things that Caleb has expressed interest in before. (Even if that might be fake - you’re not totally sure. Still, it can not hurt to try.) She even wraps it up nicely for you, offering to wrap your other gifts too. That might be too much, so you decline, but you still pass her a few more silver as a tip. You’ve never been so nervous as you are when you make your way back to the tavern where you’re staying, but it’s almost easy to keep your cool and mask the absolute terror you feel when Caleb is sitting with the group, eating dinner. You were kind of counting on him being in his room, reading, but you don’t let his sudden appearance stop you. Jester spots you first, patting the empty seat between her and Nott, calling your name. You slip into it, easily concealing your gifts behind your back. “Where did you go?”

A sly smile slips onto your face as you reach forward, taking a portion of the food they’d ordered, “Oh, you know, around.”

“You smell like perfume,” Beau leans over Nott and sniffs you, making a slightly disgusted face, “Why do you smell like perfume?”

“I went shopping,” You cut in before Jester and Molly can interject with salacious theories, “That shopping happened to be in the Tri-Spire, thank you very much.” Caleb raises an eyebrow, sharing a look with Fjord, but you ignore it. “What did you guys do today?” You don’t really listen - only enough to hum or nod as they’re speaking - because you’re focused on figuring out a plan to get your gifts to Caleb without the others noticing or making him feel like you’re doing it out of pity, or that he owes you. You just want him to be happy that he’s getting a gift. It’s later, when everyone has cleared out, that Jester shakes your shoulder lightly, calling your name.

“Are you okay?” Her dark blue eyebrows pull down over her eyes, incredibly worried, “You didn’t talk at all during dinner.” You take her hand in yours, squeezing it briefly.

“I’m fine, Jessie. I think I might head to bed, though.” You give her a hug before heading up to your room, looking over your shoulder just before you hit the stairs to see if Caleb had gone to bed when you had zoned out. He’s easy to find in the corner, nose deep in a book, and you grin. That makes everything so much easier, especially since Nott is tucked into the booth next to him. That means that their room is completely empty and a perfect place to drop the gifts without any of the unnecessary baggage that might come with giving them to him face to face. You don’t even think about the fact that he might have warded his room until it’s too late. (That being until you watch the string snap around your ankles when you make it four steps into the room.)

But, damnit, you have a mission to complete. There’s at least a minute before Caleb makes it to the stairs and perhaps another half a minute before he hits the door. You set the things up on what you think is Caleb’s bed a little messier than you wanted but you’re running out of time. The door is a no-go to leave, and you can hear Caleb bounding up the steps. You whirl, tugging your cloak tightly around you as you debate jumping through the window instead of opening it. In the end that will just draw an entirely different reaction than you want, so you settle for slamming the window up and slinging one leg over the sill. Caleb’s room is on the second floor, so the fall might hurt a little bit, but Caleb is right outside the door, so you don’t have any other choices-

“Was machst du in meinem Zimmer!?” He bellows, hands already engulfed in flame, when he kicks the door open. It startles you off of the window sill, luckily into the room instead of out. You pop up, hands raised and already talking.

“Okay, I don’t know what you’re saying but I didn’t know you had your room warded, I was just trying to give you the things that I bought you today, and then by the time I realized it was too late because I couldn’t just leave without giving you the stuff, because then you’d be scared-” Caleb extinguishes the flames that had started to crawl up his arms, shutting the door as he comes closer to the bed. You scramble to your feet, snagging your cloak in your hands to twist it nervously. “-I should leave now, excuse me.” You do your best to skirt around him but Caleb holds up a hand, eyes on the pile of loot you’ve left on his bed. He wraps a warm hand around your wrist to keep you in place as he tries to process what’s happening.

“What is on my bed?” Caleb finally looks toward you then, eyebrows furrowed as he watches you nervously fidget with your robe, biting your lower lip. “I am not mad, but what do you mean things you bought me?” He gestures loosely with the other hand and you take a step closer to him and the bed. You weren’t ready for being confronted with Caleb, despite how much you thought about what you might say to him in a situation like this. You almost swallow your tongue trying to figure out what to say to him.

“I bought you things,” You blurt, “Because you deserve it. I’m not sure if it’s all the right things, but I tried and even if you can’t use them for, you know, magic things you can use them for other stuff-” You watch as he makes his way over to the pile and begins rifling through it, mumbling to himself in Zemnian. “I’m not doing this out of pity, or anything,” You move to his side, peeking over as he skims through the book you bought, “I did it because I want to, I promise.” You wring your hands and look off to the side, avoiding watching the way he’s pouring over what you’ve bought, “You weren’t even really supposed to know they’re from me, honestly, I just wanted to do something nice for you because you deserve kindness-”

“-I am not so sure about that,” Caleb turns to you, catching your attention. He smiles, but it’s weak, when he looks at the small pile you’ve bought for him, “The spells will be useful for the group, but the rest… You are too kind.”

“I’m not!” Perhaps on instinct, you reach out and clasp his wrists in your hands, “No, Caleb, please. I didn’t do this to make you feel bad, I want you to feel good. You’re so bright, Caleb, and so amazing that I just want you to feel a fraction of the happiness you make me feel.” He hesitates so you press on, taking the chance to step closer to him as your heart takes off at a breakneck pace in your chest. “Please, don’t feel guilty. I did this because I want to, okay? I want to make you happy and make you smile, and make you feel good because it makes me feel good. You don’t have to do - to do anything and if you want, I’ll stop. You just say the word and I’ll stop, but I see you, Caleb.” Your voice breaks off as your eyes mist over. He looks awe-inspired at you, not stepping away or pulling from your grasp, “I see you. I see the way you bite back jokes, and sometimes they slip through. I see the way you care for us, for Nott. I see the way you sacrifice yourself in everything you do because you don’t feel like you deserve to be happy, but you do. Please, you are such a good man - I can see it. I can feel it, Caleb. You deserve the world’s largest kindness, but if I can’t give that to you I’ll give you small kindnesses, if you’ll let me.” Your lip quivers and your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you decide to fling yourself off the metaphorical cliff you’ve found yourself on, “Caleb Widogast, I wish to give you never-ending small kindnesses not only because you deserve them, but because I love you. I am in love with you.” The difference sits heavy in the air between you as you watch Caleb process everything that you’ve said.

“You… Are you in love with me?”

“Undoubtedly.” You confirmed, whispering. He’s stepped toward you a fraction of an inch, but it puts the both of you nearly chest to chest. “I have never been so sure of something, Caleb.”

“I enjoy the way you say my name.” He confesses. You watch in wonder as red begins to crest from underneath his facial hair, coloring his cheeks a rosy, pretty pink. He tries to look away, but you duck your head to try and keep some semblance of eye contact. Your hands tremble in his.

“I’ll say it forever, then,” You try to smile, but you really only manage an upward quiver of your lips, “Every day, if you’ll accept my kindness.”

“Es wird schwer,” Caleb says under his breath as he shuffles even closer to you, “Es wird so schwer, aber ich werde es versuchen.” You’re not totally sure what he’s saying, but when he presses a terrified, hesitant kiss against your lips the message comes across loud and clear.

#critical role imagine #c2 imagine #cr imagine #caleb widogast imagine #caleb imagine #caleb widogast x reader #caleb x reader #caleb widogast / reader #caleb / reader #campaign 2 imagine #critfic

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lesbian-kyoru · 4 years ago

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lesbian kyoru thoughts

because i’ve gotta start living up to my url sometime. so consider:

kyo. yes, my lesbian fave. and it’s just so easy to read kyo as a lesbian while changing very little about the story. have we considered how inherently queer the “monster inside you trope” is? and especially because kyo’s arc in canon is largely about learning self-acceptance, forgiveness, and self-love through falling in love with tohru, i think the true form arc serves as an excellent allegory for kyo coming to terms with her sexuality, since in both cases it’s all about tohru staying by kyo’s side unconditionally, in spite of things that kyo views as “monstrous” about herself. it’s the monster lesbian story i want please give it to me!!!!!

for this AU, i’d have kyo already out as a lesbian at the beginning of the story, in sort of an open secret way. the sohmas definitely know that kyo is a lesbian, and it’s looked down upon by the sohma clan. the notable exception would be tohru, who doesn’t know that kyo is a lesbian—and same with true form, kyo does not want tohru to find out that she’s a lesbian because she thinks that, if tohru sees this part of her that she has no control over, it will ruin everything and completely disgust tohru

along with just fitting kyo’s overwhelming lesbian vibes, i think this creates a really good dichotomy between yuki, who is the golden boy of the family and deeply closeted, and kyo, very aggressively not in the closet and the black sheep/outcast of the family. wlw mlm hostility at its finest

and now we have tohru. while kyo is already out as a lesbian, tohru is deeply closeted, deeply unaware that she’s closeted, and also just. deeply repressing that she is a lesbian djjdjdjdjdkdj. i really like having this contrast in tohru and kyo’s experiences with coming out and realizing their sexualities because i think it fits their different personalities + upbringings, and also it just would be nice to have more than one Coming Out Narrative in a single piece of media. tohru is that girl in high school who absolutely knows what being gay means, grew up around queer people (kyoko’s girl gang hello…..), her entire friend group is made up of queer people—but she’s still like no i’m just the token straight friend in the group :) until…..lmfao

this mirrors tohru’s canon arc really well because she struggles so much with repression, particularly with repressing what she considers as “ugly” parts of herself, as well as her true feelings for kyo a lot. you can also draw a really neat parallel in the way that tohru accepts kyo’s true form in a very loving, non-judgemental manner, but it’s a lot harder to accept her own “ugly” qualities. i think that makes such a perfect connection to like, she’s obviously not homophobic and accepts that kyo is a lesbian no problem! but then when she falls in love with kyo, it’s a lot harder for tohru to accept that she is also gay because of intense internalized homophobia that she’s directing at herself

also bringing up our favorite gay yuki again, something that would be super fascinating in this is AU would be how yuki still envies how kyo embodies a lot of hyper-masculine, boyish traits, which yuki feels he can’t present in the same way. in this AU, there’s another layer to yuki’s jealousy though because kyo is a girl doing that. so yuki almost resents that kyo can pull that off and innately have those qualities come so easily to her (like being more brash and confident, getting along with groups, being more typically aggressive and “boyish”), when yuki is the one who is male and feels like those traditional masculine behavior expectations should come more easily to him

this would also tie really nicely into how yuki loves tohru like a mother, where it adds another layer to kyo seeing tohru in a way that yuki can't. not only does yuki agonize over how he doesn’t love tohru romantically when heteronormativity makes him feel like he should—now, you also have kyo being able to see tohru “the way a man sees a woman” when kyo is a woman but yuki is a man, adding even more to yuki’s big bad comphet struggle

this just adds so much to yuki and kyo’s already very complicated dynamic, because now you have yuki’s internalized homophobia making him hate himself and directing that at kyo, scapegoating her as causing all of their problems with akito and the sohma clan by being out herself. meanwhile, kyo would struggle even more with eventually acknowledging that yuki isn’t the perfect, straight sohma prince that she views him as, and that hating yuki won’t fix her internalized self-hatred. all of this makes even more prominent that underlying theme of “you have everything i have ever wanted when you don’t deserve it, and i hate you but why can i not be more like you.” again, mlm wlw hostility at its finest

yes, yuki and kyo did hate-makeout once. yes, it did confirm for both of them that they are in fact homosexuals

one last thought: i know a huge facet of canon is that people of the opposite sex hugging triggers the zodiacs’ animal transformations, which is heteronormative lol. but honestly, i would keep the curse being activated by opposite sex hugs even in this AU—because i think it would be super interesting to explore how girls touching each other is a lot more socially accepted as “platonic” even when it is definitely not platonic lmao. but on the flip side of that, you can also then explore the Lesbian Experience of feeling like you’re evil and weird for thinking a girl is pretty and wanting to hold her hand, and therefore never so much as looking at a girl no matter what Ever

it’s already iconic how takaya accidentally Invoked Gay in canon by making kakeru the only friend of yuki’s that he can experience touch and physical affection from because they’re both male.....that’s gay shit.....but there are SO MANY LAYERS when you add lesbian kyoru to the mix. miss deeply closeted tohru is falling hard for kyo and slowly testing the waters with touch—brushing up against kyo, tapping on her shoulder, holding her hand….because they’re both girls and just friends right? it doesn’t mean anything because tohru is straight right? LMFAO meanwhile kyo is convinced that her crush on tohru is absolutely evil, and even though touching her wouldn’t trigger kyo’s transformation, it still terrifies her way more than touching a guy ever will

it just would be such a power move, in a story where opposite sex hugs are a magical taboo, to have your main lesbian couple not dealing with any problems because of the magical taboo that doesn’t apply to them—but because of the much more understated taboo of their queerness, coming from internalized homophobia and fears of “transforming” into something inhuman and monstrous if they ever gave into their true feelings!!!! i just!!!!! ahhhhhh LESBIANS!!!!!!

#these are all of my thoughts for now i will do a part 2 when more comes to me #fruits basket #lesbian kyoru #kyoru #kyo sohma #tohru honda #yuki sohma #lesbian kyo #fruits basket meta #fruits basket spoilers #hc #meta #long post #zoe.txt #i accidentally deleted all of this right before posting and had to completely retype so u know this was a labor of love #rb to help a sapphic please

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moldisgoodforyou · 4 years ago

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the exes

lmfao guys i finally checked my taglist form and i've been missing a lot of you sorry :///

warnings: men that might remind you of your ex, brief mentions of sexual content

wordcount: 2.4k we're back to shorter fics unless you guys want to start waiting a month in between them

_______

“I love you, Sophie,” he’d said, and then looked at her expectantly.

She was surprised when she heard herself echoing her first boyfriend, Peter, with an “I love you too,” even though she wasn’t sure she meant it. Her parents always said they fell in love after only two weeks, so Peter waiting two whole months to tell her was a logical next step.

Right?

Peter went to the Columbus College of Art and Design, and they’d met through a dating app after Sophie figured she didn’t want to have to meet another boy that was halfway drunk and put his hands on her waist when he shuffled past her in the dirty college bar. So she settled for the first nice boy she met, that looked halfway decent and kissed halfway decent too. He was two years older, twenty while she was eighteen, and always bragged to his friends about how mature she was, how smart she was for her age.

Her father hated him, but Sophie just figured it was because he was her first real boyfriend. Carter especially hated him, making a clear effort to ignore him and turn a cold shoulder when he’d pick Sophie up from the dorms and take her out to dinner, or on the few mornings he had to pick her up from Peter’s house when Peter would complain he was too hungover to drive the eleven minutes to campus to bring her home.

She quickly learned that I love you wasn’t necessarily love, it was more like an obligation. When she really was too busy with architecture homework, or she had a sorority meeting, he’d ask her to come over with a pleading “c’mon, but I love you,” and she’d huff to herself but pack up her things and go to his apartment for a couple hours. She’d hang out with him just long enough to placate him, then trudge back to her house, work on homework until three am, wake up exhausted, repeat.

She went out with him to the bars, more often than she liked, and he’d get way drunker than her every time. Sophie would sigh and drag him home, then make sure he was well enough to attend church the next day. She went once and was reminded of how her childhood was spent in church, every Sunday in youth group, and hated that feeling. One of the girls in his youth group led a sermon about saving yourself for marriage, sending several pointed glances at Sophie, and she realized he’d probably confessed to them about how she let him touch her. (He didn’t know that she faked an orgasm so he’d quit rubbing what was basically her inner thigh.)

He was never mean, just...boring. Something she had to deal with. She found herself wanting more, playing with the idea of what it would be like to ask out the cute boy in her sociology class, but then she’d shake her head and remind herself she wasn’t a cheater. Besides, he wasn’t that terrible. He’d dote on her and call her princess (which she hated, but figured as far as pet names went, it could be worse).

When he posted photos with other girls on his Instagram story - at a party, in class, out to lunch - Sophie found herself not caring a little too much. She kept waiting for a hint of jealousy, and thought that sometimes he was waiting for it too, but it never came. Julia and Allie would see and question those stories, ask Sophie who those girls were, but she’d just get defensive and shrug it off. (He’s allowed to have other girl friends, she’d say. Even when the photo showed the girl’s head on his chest and arms around his waist and his arm around hers, his hand on her hip.)

When he called her in tears, after five months of dating, she knew what was coming.

“I kissed someone else.”

“Oh.” She paused, gathered her thoughts, then realized she had none. Felt completely neutral. “Okay.”

Peter sounded like he was at his breaking point. She didn’t care. “It’s been going on for a while.”

“Is it Andie?” Sophie asked, growing annoyed. Did they really need to drag the phone call out?

“Yeah.” He let out some ungodly sob and she found herself feeling disgusted, wanting to tell him to pull it together. Andie was cool, a girl she’d met a couple times at the few college parties she’d been to with Peter, where everyone sat around and smoked cigarettes and drank IPAs, and fit the stereotype of art students so damn well it wasn’t even funny. Andie wore Doc Martens and had a buzzcut and gave zero fucks - and clearly didn’t give any about the tentative friendship Sophie thought they had.

She wrinkled her nose. “Did you do more than just kiss?”

Peter had never pressured her - ever - Sophie would tell him sorry with shaky hands, that she just wasn’t ready to go further, then felt gross every time she apologized. But if they went a little too far and she made them stop, he never stayed the night, only napped with her until she was asleep and slipped out just after.

“I’m so sorry, princess -”

She recoiled at the pet name. She’d never liked it but didn’t hate it enough to argue against it. “No, no, answer the question, Peter. Did you do more?”

“...Yeah. We did. I just - I had to find it somewhere, you know -”

“Oh.” She mumbled, her insecurities confirmed.

“Sophie, princess, I’m so sorry. Why don’t you come over and we can just -”

“I don’t think I want to see you again. For a while.” She added, chewing anxiously on her lip as she told him.

Silence came over the phone for a few moments until he finally replied. “Oh.”

A few more moments. “You’re sure? We can talk it out.”

“Um...no. And yes, I’m pretty sure. Okay. Um. Talk to you later, I guess.” She hung up, feeling more disappointed in herself for not catching it than anything else.

(They did not talk later, or ever again. Sophie figured that was best.)

_______

Shortly after Peter, Sophie met Luke. He was sweet, a little boring too, but most importantly, he was easy. Easy to talk to, easy to hang out with, and she didn’t have this lingering fear in the back of her mind that he was going to go hook up with someone else. After a few months, Luke became a little less than easy - he was clingy and would walk her home from every class, he would ask her to come hang out when he studied in the chemistry lab, he would complain if she didn’t spend the night with him. She found herself lying to him that the architecture studio didn’t allow visitors, just so she could get a breath of fresh air.

One night, when Sophie sighed upon seeing Luke’s contact pop up on her phone and went to grab her overnight bag without even reading the text, Allie frowned. “Sophie.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to do this, you know. Just because he says he misses you. You can be your own person.”

Sophie paused, considering. “I am my own person, just with him. Right?”

Allie hesitated before answering, wanting to phrase things carefully so Sophie didn’t get upset. “I feel like maybe you’re a little different with him. When I met you, you were confident and bold and...I don’t know. I think he’s holding you back.”

(You’re a shell of yourself,” is what she really wanted to say, but she wasn’t sure Sophie could handle that.)

“Oh.” Sophie uttered, quiet. Allie had just confirmed what Sophie had been thinking for months, but she didn’t think anyone else had picked up on it. “You think I should break up with him?”

“I think you need to decide that on your own.”

“Allie.”

She just gave her a look, shaking her head. “Go over there, and say what you need to say.”

Sophie was clearly debating, stuck, until Allie pried her bag out of her hand and grabbed her keys from her desk. “Al -”

“Come on. I’ll drive you.” Allie guided her out the door, her arm slung around Sophie’s shoulders. She drove her to Luke’s house, waited outside while Sophie went in, and texted Julia to get ice cream from the store when Sophie walked back out only twenty minutes later with teary eyes.

Sophie slid back in the passenger seat, drawing her knees to her chest. “I did it.”

“I’m proud of you, Soph.” Allie reached over and hugged her. “You’re better than him. I promise.”

When they both returned to their room, Julia wrapped Sophie in a big hug. She held her tight as Sophie sniffled, quietly, then promptly handed her a spoon for the ice cream as soon as she let go. After a few moments of quiet, Julia broke the silence. “So when are you getting back out there?”

“Oh my god, Jules, give her a break.” Allie rolled her eyes as Sophie giggled through her tears.

“I’m just asking! Maybe it’s time for you to go through your hoe phase, babe.” She reached over and snagged a bite of the ice cream, twirling the spoon around thoughtfully. “Or do you have any guys in mind - oh, remember that cute Delt that’s from your hometown -”

Sophie fixed her with a glare. “If I’m doing a hoe phase, it’s sure as hell not gonna be with Rafe Cameron.”

“Rafe! That’s what it was. Okay, so he’s out. What about the bartender at Varsity Club, he always gives you the extra shots in your drink for free?”

“Can you give the girl at least a day to get over her breakup?” Allie asked skeptically.

“Can I just say something?” Julia asked.

Sophie sighed, nodding. “I know you’re gonna say it anyways, so go ahead.”

Julia gave her a sheepish grin, patting Sophie’s knee. “I never liked him. He made you kinda like a doormat, y’know, and that’s not you. You’re better than that. Plus, he was so needy. I mean, he had to have been good in bed for you to stick around -”

“Jesus Christ, Jules -”

“He wasn’t.” Sophie interrupted them both. “We didn’t do that much, anyways.”

“Oh.” Julia paused, thinking. “Well. I’m glad you broke up with him, anyways. Takes a lot of courage.”

———

The first time Luke called when he was drunk, it was only a week after their breakup. Sophie felt bad and picked him up from the bar to drive him home, and let him kiss her in his room before she pulled away and urged him into bed.

The second time, it was the next weekend, and she did the same thing, but kissed him a little more. She ignored Julia’s knowing look when she slinked back into their room, head down, with her lipstick a little smeared and hair a little astray.

He kept drunk calling and she kept going to rescue him, to pick him up from the bars or a pregame or wherever else he was. She convinced herself it was only because she felt bad about breaking up with him, that he wasn’t all that bad in the relationship. The fifth time he called, a month and a half after the breakup, the girls were all drunk at the bars, and Luke was drinking at a party. When he called, Allie snatched the phone out of Sophie’s hand and tucked herself into the corner of the bar to hear him.

“Luke?”

“Soph - no, wait, Allie?”

“Yes. It’s Allie. Stop fucking calling her.”

“I just - I thought she could take me home -” He started, confused.

Allie huffed but forced a smile and gave Sophie a thumbs up from across the bar. “No. She can’t. And you can’t call her anymore, she’s not your girlfriend. Go find a friend or something.” With that she promptly hung up and blocked his number, satisfied. She’d regret it a little in the morning, but didn’t tell Sophie what she’d done.

____

It took Sophie about two weeks after Luke’s last phone call to follow Julia’s advice to ‘get back out there.’ The first time, she convinced herself it was way too easy - flirted with a frat boy at the bar with a few subtle touches, twirled her hair around her finger, and went back to his room after only an hour of knowing him. It was rushed, awkward, and she was pretty sure the guy came in his pants after a few heated kisses and a couple rolls of her hips.

The second time, she tried a little harder, going after a guy that approached her first with a smooth pickup line and a broad smile. They traded buying rounds for each other all night, until he kissed her around midnight and shyly asked if she’d want to go back to his place. When he escorted her into what she recognized as an off-campus Sigma Chi senior house, she didn’t dare inform him that actually, she was just a sophomore with a really good fake ID. She surprised herself when she took off her clothes first, then kissed him with a newfound confidence she’d pulled out of nowhere.

“I lost it.” Sophie announced with a slight frown when she came back into their room at two am.

Allie woke up from her spot on the futon where she and Julia were watching TV, rubbing her eyes. “What’d you lose?”

“Your...” Julia trailed off.

Sophie nodded, wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s not like everyone says. And I thought it would take a little longer. It wasn’t bad, though.”

Allie frowned, getting up to hug her. “Are you alright?”

Sophie accepted the hug, resting her chin on Allie’s shoulder. “Yeah. Just...I don’t know. I kind of hoped it would be a little more special.”

“He didn’t kick you out, did he?” Julia rose too, wrapping her arms around both the girls.

“No. I left.” She paused, sounding both deflated and a tiny bit hopeful. “They can’t all be like this, right? I mean, this is my fourth guy I’ve had...something with, and I’m starting to think there’s a trend.”

“No, no, you’ll find the right person. I promise.” Julia assured her. “Maybe you need to just wait, you know? Take some time for yourself.”

Allie hummed in agreement. “You’re more than just some dumb relationship.”

“I just…” Sophie sighed, quietly. “How am I supposed to know when he’s the right one?”

taglist: @drewstarkey @lemur46 @jjmaybanksbaby @edgeofgr8 @quxxnxfhxll @obxtess @hoodpankow @vtgirl802 @outerbankies @messagesinthesky @nicolecarsley @svechnikolan @ilovejjmaybank @obxtess @abbyj1822 @oopsiedoopsie23 @g4bster @jjmaybankzz @freddymaybank @dontjinx-it @illbesafeforyou @moniamaybank @tovvaa @jailcalledlife @sunshineitsfine44 @randomficsandshit @outerbankspreferences @outerbanksbro @karsinner @kkmaybank @whoeveniskendall

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #outer banks #outer banks fanfic #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe x sophie #mine #college rafe #frat rafe

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teeztheflag · 4 years ago

Text

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Ateez! Reaction to getting intimidate with you while the members/ a member are/is in the same room

warnings: some of them behave like fu*kboys/di*kheads, argument, disrespect, alcohol, strong language, suggestive, teasing, doing unholy things in a church

a/n: this turned out so dumb I am sorry anon but I finished it lmfao also they’re more like teasing? because I cannot get my head into people fu*king in front of others and not caring about it 😂

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k i m h o n g j o o n g

Hong Joong always has been a mixture of someone who liked to show off his girl and keep her to himself so you weren’t really shocked when he started to kiss down your exposed neck at a gathering at their mansion that night.

First you were really flustered and giggled but the sexual tension quickly arose when he took a good hold on your hips from behind breathing hotly down your cleavage.

You gulped unsure of what to think about the situation and gasped when you saw Park Seong Hwa standing at the other end of the room a glass of wine in his hand and a mischievous smile on his face.

Was he watching you?

You frowned trying to stop Hong Joong in his motions but quickly realized that he already saw the other one seemingly enjoying the scene.

You turned around and hurt took over your features.

„I am not a cheep whore Kim Hong Joong. Whatever you and Seong Hwa have going on don’t ever dare to involve me in it again.“ You hissed out trying to push away the tears and stormed away.

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p a r k s e o n g h w a

Seong Hwa‘s birthday was known to be the biggest event of the year in his hometown. As the bachelor always threw the most outrageous and glamorous parties it was his friends this time that wanted to prepare something special.

They booked you: a student with little to no money but good dancing skills on the pool.

You started your show and even if Seong Hwa first wasn’t into the idea at all while he sat down in front of you on a single chair the moment he layed his eyes on you his heart skipped a beat.

You personated everything the young rich loved; you were so beautiful he got flustered and tried to hide his reddening cheeks.

The dress on you was way too short and the show went on with the cheering from his guests that the young bachelor zoned out completely by now. He felt himself shuddering and becoming nervous when the young lady started walking to him with confident steps but a deer like gaze.

You sat down on his lap your arms casually wrapping around his shoulders and he cursed lowly at the sweet scent you gave off when you leaned down to whisper in his ear.

„Happy Birthday, Mr. Park.“

You were about to dance on him when he stopped you in your tracks and you were panicking if you did something wrong. Seong Hwa looked you into the eyes and clenched his teeth.

„I swear you don’t know what you’re doing to me right now so stop.“

„Y - you’re joking, right?“ But the desperate look in his eyes told he was more than serious about this.

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j e o n g y u n h o

You just couldn’t look away. It was always something you wondered about. And not only you... definitely your whole circle of friends.

You really didn’t want to look but your gaze just seemed to magically find its way down to Yun Ho‘s crotch where - wait a sec. Is it what you think it is?

Gosh, you had a drink too much. When you looked up you weren’t really sure anymore if this was the reality but on the other side of the room on the couch Yun Ho caught your gaze and suppressed a smirk.

Since it was embarrassing you quickly averted your gaze back to the movie hoping the two of you would just forget about the incident.

„Another round? I am getting shots!“ The others agreed and you got slightly nervous when Yun Ho came back with a tablet and handed everyone a shot.

„I am suggesting brother shots because we’ve all been so busy lately!“

„Why do you sat down next to (y/n), then? Very calculated don’t you think.“ Jong Ho eyed the latter suspiciously and Yun Ho sent him a kiss.

You were so dizzy that you were thinking about what brother shots were again when Yun Ho already linked your arms and drank. Right in the moment you remembered he already placed a cherry tasting kiss on your lips.

You couldn’t hold yourself back to lick the remaining droplets off while Yun Ho watched you eagerly.

„How does it taste?“

You frowned at him still progressing what a wasted night this was. Suddenly Yun Ho wipes away the last droplets off with his thumb and brushes it also over you bottom lip.

Your mouth opens but no words seem to leave your lips while he smiles mischievously.

„G-good... too good.“

„Ah, you want another one?“

You debate and your gaze drifts to the others around you but they seem much too intoxicated themselves to notice.

„Yes.“ Yun Ho chuckles and you close your eyes waiting for his lips to finally touch yours again. When a cold material instead meets you your eyes shoot open and you see Yun Ho laughing at you.

„I meant another shot, (y/n).“ He winks and you roll your eyes pouting at him for getting the wrong ideas...

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k a n g y e o s a n g

Yeo Sang‘s family and yours were good friends since ages and it was a must to attend the sunday‘s service together.

Like usually your families sat next to eachother again but Yeo Sang tended to sit next to his friends in the last row this day. Just when you went up to get to your parents a voice stopped you.

„(y/n)! Come sit with us!“ You turn around and see San smiling at you and also the other boys were together. You just grew close to them a while ago and you didn’t see a reason to say no.

When you realized Woo Young made place for you between him and Yeo Sang your mood quickly changed. You frowned at the boy exactly knowing what you told him a month ago when you were drunk - that you had a crush on Yeo Sang since forever...

Problem was... Yeo Sang probably has been asexual or simply ignoring you for his own sake. As you expected he didn’t even greet you but just relaxed further into the bench.

The service started and the boys next to you seemed to fall asleep one after another while the priest was really into his game. You also weren’t the biggest fan of it but you knew how to be respectful.

It was time to pray with your eyes closed when you suddenly tense up. Your eyes immediately shoot open and your gazes drifts to the site where Yeo Sang is watching you intensely.

You are frozen and not able to move a muscle while he digs his hand further into your tigh. You quickly look around to see if someone notices but stop when you hear a giggle coming from right next to you from Woo Young.

Yeo Sang starts to draw slow circles into your skin and you recognize how warm his hand feels against your exposed flesh. You don’t know how to put it but your body tells you to invite his touches rather than scold him and retrieve his hand...

When he leans down you flinch and close your eyes uttering the last words of the prayer hoping to not die at how hard your heart beats against your ribcage.

His breath tickles the hairs on your neck and you can smell a strong perfume coming from him before he whispers.

„(y/n)... you’re a little whore squirming like this in a church...“

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s o n g m i n g i

„Well, a bet is a bet.“

„Min Gi, you aren’t serious about this? I thought it was a joke! If I knew you would be a dick I wouldn’t have obliged!“

Min Gi let’s out a laugh and drags you back inside the karaoke room where your friends were partying like there’s no tomorrow.

He sat you down next to him and brought his arm over your shoulder to keep you close so you couldn’t escape. He side glanced your form and smiles to see your arms crossed and a pout adorning your face.

„Cute.“

„What?“

„Oh, nothing. Just enjoying the view.“ His eyes turn into crescents while he grins at you.

Times flies by and you know your boyfriend good enough that he wouldn’t let his price slip. So when your food arrives everyone gasps when you start to feed Min Gi like he was the king of South Korea.

„Damn, what the heck are you two doing?“

Some couldn’t control their laughter and you feel like sinking into a hole of embarrassment when Min Gi explains that you just realized how he should be really treated.

Everyone knew you were sassy and didn’t take any shit and so it has also been with your boyfriend. Min Gi loved to tease you endlessly and he knew that having you serve him in front of your friends was something you wouldn’t like. He took it as a revenge for you making him jelous the last week and a dangerous glint appears in his eyes thinking back to the evening.

„Mh, my love. I have some sauce on my chin...“

„So what?“

„Lick it away.“

„You are unbelievable!“

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c h o i s a n

San always has been an affectionate person that needed a lot of attention from his s/o. You on the other hand liked to stick to simple holding hands in public and a little peck here or there but nothing too exaggerated.

San knew you were shy but sometimes he couldn’t hold himself back to tease you openly so people would see who you belong to. No, that wasn’t the only reason he liked to show off he was just fully engulfed in your form and needed to touch whenever he could.

This caused you scolding him from time to time when he did inappropriate things in the different areas.

For example in a car. With Jong Ho and Seong Hwa in the back. You were standing at a red light when you felt San‘s hand sneaking up your thigh leaving a tickling sensation in the process. The boys were tired but you were sure they were still awake in the back.

Quickly you try to retrieve San‘s hand but his grip just strengthens and the nerve this boy has! When you glance to him he’s just sheepishly looking outside acting like he does nothing. He always messed with you inside his car but this time it was worse because there were your friends in the back!

„San!“ You whisper-yell to your boyfriend who looks up to you for a second before leaning in to your side.

„What?“

„Stop!“

„No!“ Then he leans back and when you try to forcefully pull his hand back you’re suddenly with a clap to your thigh leaving you flushed and aroused because of the mixture of pain and pleasure.

„Mh... are we already there?“ Oh, Jong Ho probably actually fell asleep.

„Five minutes.“ San ignites with a big smile to the back.

After you drop off the two San suddenly locks the car and leans over so his arm is around the lean of your seat. Out of reflex you lean back clearly intimidated by his posture but also confused what he wanted to do now.

„Did it hurt, baby?“

You shyly nod and your gaze falls to your lap where you’re playing with the hem of your skirt. San’s tongue pokes out to wetten his bottom lip and a low chuckle leaves him.

„Can you whine like that for me again when we’re home?“

„San!“

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j u n g w o o y o u n g

Jung Woo Young meant danger; that’s what everyone knew. You couldn’t deny the fact that he intrigued you beyond everything that was appropriate... meaning you fantasized about the boy way too much. Everything about him was perfect.

If you just could have a taste of his lips once in your life... It was just a little joke and daydreaming for you; nothing serious. And maybe his image also helped you to relieve some stress in lonely nights but really nothing more.

Although you didn’t expect this houseparty to be too spectacular things actually spiced up when you saw the boy and his friends entering the party. You suddenly felt more excited and thanked god you decided to join your friends this night.

You saw Woo Young quickly being accompanied by a girl and immediately your face fell. Dammit... Just stop dreaming of somebody you will never have!

„(y/n)?“ Oh, yes! You were currently playing beerpong and it was your turn. Well, if you didn’t get the boy you would at least just win this game. And you did. With a big crowd around you the other girls cheering for you because you won against the best of the boys in this game.

With a big grin and clearly tipsy by now you dragged your friend inside to dance accompanied by the others. You swayed your hips, laughed and had a lot of fun. Until you felt someone’s hand sneaking around your waist to level your rhythm up to his.

You turned around and saw no other than the Jung Woo Young eyefucking you shameless.

„What are you doing?“

„Getting revenge for my friend; but in my own way.“

You look over to Yeo Sang the one you just managed to destroy and see him winking at you from afar.

Your eyes quickly drift to Woo Young’s chest and you mumble to yourself. „This would be more like a prize...“

Woo Young is able to hear your words because instead of you he didn’t touch a single bottle tonight and because of that he decides to take things a little further. Suddenly the boy leads you out of the crowd upstairs to a secluded room where he’s quickly placing hungry kisses over your exposed collarbone.

You’re feeling like paralyzed both of the boldness and the pleasure.

Your eyes open wide when you hear a chuckle coming from the other side of the room and you frown seeing Yeo Sang sitting casually in a chair enjoying the show.

„Like you said. Your prize and our revenge.“

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c h o i j o n g h o

Another one of those boring business nights with Jong Ho and you were quickly deciding to roam around the big mansion you landed in this time.

Gosh, how rich was his boss again? This house looked more like a palace to you and made you again wonder; what the hell was Jong Ho even working?

You turned corner after corner and whined knowing you got lost.

„Dammit... I am so stupid!“

„Here you are. Mrs. Choi we‘re missing your presence!“

Choi san comes out of the dark with a smile on his face and a hand tugged into his pockets. He looked ravishing but you guessed he already knew that by the way he always held himself. For you, San was a friend. A good one because he helped you and your husband in more than one way.

You puffed out some air and rolled your eyes. „What could be so interesting that you would need me?“

„Tsk, always so sassy... Jong Ho is currently leading in the game you should join us.“

„How much?“

„That’s for you to find out.“ A chuckle leaves you and with quick steps you get to San and link arms so he can guide you back.

The room was dark and huge with a single poker table in the middle where only three very young and dangerously looking gentlemen were still deeply engulfed into the game. Woo Young who stands next to the table winks at you and you try to hide the uneasiness he’s causing you every time with his little flirt attempts.

Hong Joong and Yun Ho still played with Jong Ho and being the bold human you were you emerged the table with confident steps and sat down on Jong Ho‘s lap to make your presence very clear to everyone.

Jong Ho immediately maneuvered his hands so he could sneak one of his arms around your waist and adjust your position; what the hell...

You were practically sitting widespread on his right thigh now but Jong Ho only seemed to be interested in the game.

They played silently while the others were casually getting drinks from the bar. You on the other hand were busy in understanding the game and Jong Ho‘s cards. You shuffled your body and position from time to time trying to not put too much pressure on your husband‘s thigh.

After a while with a lot of struggling Jong Ho groaned out annoyed and gave your hip a squeeze only to push you down on his thigh stronger than before.

„Fuck!“

All eyes were on you immediately and you know you shouldn’t have teased him so much...

„You want to distract me or put on a show for my friends?“

You were flustered beyond everything and just looked down to hide the embarrassment. „Neither.“

„Neither what?“

„Neither, sir.“ It was only a whisper but everyone clearly heard the word coming out of your mouth.

Jong Ho smiles triumphantly at the others knowing he not only won the game when he shows his cards but also that he would teach you a lesson in a few minutes.

#ateez reactions #ateez writing #ateez smut

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steepgan · 4 years ago

Text

someone dear (iii) - d. ragnvindr x f!reader

PART I - PART II - PART III

FINAL PART!!!! also i hate this part the most because i definitely rushed it and i could feel myself losing steam for writing so i wanted to finish it asap LMFAO ALSO DILUC IS HELLA OOC IM SO SORRY I STARTED PLAYING GENSHIN LIKE SIX DAYS AGO IM RELLY REALLY SORRY LAFAHFOA#@*$@)*$

Today was payday.

“You look…” Charles made a face. “Vibrant.”

“I get paid!” you squealed.

“Oh, boy,” Charles said. “You know there’s more to life than money, [Name]. There’s knowledge. You could always learn more. There’s love. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a significant other, honestly. There’s—”

You waved a dismissive hand. “I know all that already! I’m satisfied, Charles. It’s just not so bad to be financially secure while I’m at it. Money is the best thing ever!”

“Money is the root of all evil.”

“The root of all evil is buried deep within that chest of yours,” you accused. You picked up a clean rag and soaked it in a water basin. “You never let me have any fun on payday. Anyway, today there’s a new book being released, and I’ve been waiting for the sequel since forever.”

Charles nodded. “I think I know which book you’re talking about. Give it time and your librarian friend will have it in the library in no time.”

“That very librarian friend is coming today to hand-deliver the book to me.”

“Of course. Never once would you abandon your shift for books. Though, I think I’ve once seen you leave midway through the day because you saw a cat on the balcony while standing outside.”

“It was a cute cat,” you defended.

“You shouldn’t make friends with cats. They’re very picky and particular with whom they associate with.”

“Ah,” you said absentmindedly, “like Master Diluc.”

“[Name], that’s your boss.”

You deserved the reprimand. “Sorry. It’s not anything bad. I actually took your advice the other day and chatted with him a bit. He’s not as… cold as I thought, but he’s certainly as chilly as Snezhnaya at times.”

Diluc had been somewhat stubborn when you insisted on helping him. You didn’t understand. It was only natural to be there for other people; however, Diluc believed differently. He was right in some ways. Too much dependency would lead one to no good, but that was not your concern.

“Before comparing your employer to one of the coldest nations in Teyvat,” Charles said, “I nominate you to call for Patton a bit today. He’s coming in late ‘cause he’s wrapped up with something today.”

“Do you think me standing out there would do the tavern some good?”

“Try wearing a costume. Draws attention.”

“Right on. Let me see if there’s any maid uniforms in the back.”

As much as you worshipped your own looks on a daily basis, standing outside where Patton typically was took a toll on your body. But your mental health persevered. After all, you were getting paid today. Nothing could deter your smile.

You stood outside, calling out passing people with hopes of luring them in with Dandelion Wine. Diona, who worked at Cat’s Tail, stopped by to convince you to join her tavern. She was ultimately dedicated to sabotaging the traditional and rich wine industry of Mondstadt yet was doing rather poorly at it. You declined politely, as your job was the wine industry of Mondstadt.

Nimrod, one of the usuals, entered the tavern. He dodged his wife who condemned his drinking habits. He typically hung around Angel’s Share for the addicting wine. It was not strange to see him coming in and out of alleyways.

Not even the approaching Master Diluc could taint your spirits.

The approaching Master Diluc.

You’d recognize his hair and determined face anywhere. You were accustomed to seeing it, as you saw him often. You smiled and greeted him accordingly just before he entered the tavern. “Hello, Master Diluc. Have a good day today.”

“I will,” he said. “I assume today’s a good day for you, too.”

“Of course.”

Donna was giving him puppy-dog eyes around the corner, you saw, but she gave him puppy-dog eyes every day, so what was new? Diluc, the brooding bachelor bastard of Mondstadt, was the center of many ladies’ attention.

He was the center of yours because your paycheck was in his hands.

Days and weeks went by.

Because you knew Diluc’s secret and nighttime hobby, it wasn’t strange for you and he to grow closer. When he’d come back to the tavern, you arranged a nice meal for him to eat. Heroes needed plenty of food, you figured.

Sometimes, you’d eat with him in agonizing silence.

He made for mediocre company, but when it was late at night and you had nothing to do, he was a fine person to talk to. He kept his distance, preferring to sit a seat away from you at the bar, idly standing when you were sitting at a table. But you never felt alone on those nights.

Diluc came back injured sometimes, and as each night passed, he let you tend to his wounds pathetically before he went to see a doctor. You didn’t know if he was humoring your concern or if he seriously needed your help.

Even without you, he was doing just fine, but little by little, akin to a trickling stream, he began to rely on you. Another person’s trust was a heavy thing to carry, and Diluc’s trust was the weight of the entire world upon your shoulders. You feared that if you ever messed up, Diluc’s trust would be gone in a snap.

Diluc and you shared meals, which was nothing out of the ordinary now, but there was small conversation. Diluc, to your knowledge, never really participated in idle chatter, but he talked with you about the sights he’d seen around Liyue, the hub of business in Teyvat, and you retold jokes your friends had said and rumors about a certain person that were made just to pass time.

You could pull vicarious wonder when Diluc told you of the other nations. You’d venture there yourself, but your skills in the adventuring department were lacking.

You admitted that you were wrong about Diluc; where you had thought him cold and stoic, he was protective and brave. He treasured his work above nearly everything—to the point he overworked. In a way he was somewhat like you. A little different, though. A little stranger. A little better.

Diluc had grand aspirations and was bold personified. You, too, had something to live for, but it wasn’t as great as his. You liked the little things; you liked the dog who wagged his tail whenever you passed in hopes of you giving it a treat; you liked shopping with your friends; you liked reading new books and joking around with Lisa.

You and Master Diluc seem to complement each other, that’s all, Charles had said then.

“Charles, you’re insane,” you said, pushing Charles’ shoulder. “It’s never going to work. Patton would never agree to putting on the maid dress.”

“And if we bribe him?” Charles asked.

Diluc was standing on the other side of the bar, a brow quirked and a smile lapping at his lips. His arms were crossed, and as much as he tried to seem intimidating, he looked like a friend to you. Before, you would have seen him as judgmental and indifferent, but the Diluc before you was someone who you knew better.

“How much do you think we should give Patton? Maybe we need to sort into bigger pockets.” You peered at Diluc.

Charles said, “What—do you think Master Diluc is willing to put on such a uniform?”

You laughed, and Diluc was looking at you. He didn’t look upset at all. His face was calm, and his pretty cupid’s bow lips were drawn in an amused smile. Oh, he was gorgeous—and upon that thought intruding your headspace, you nearly stopped laughing.

Sometimes Diluc would bring you small trinkets from the winery. You once brought up you wanted an owl statue to put on your balcony to attract other owls (though you were sure that wasn’t how nature worked), and Diluc, sure enough, gave you an owl statue around the size of your torso.

“Master Diluc,” you said. “What is this?”

“An owl statue.”

“Gee, wow! I thought it was a penguin.” You tentatively patted the top of its head. “What’s it for?”

“You,” he said. “I had it laying around the winery.”

It provoked thought in you. What sort of person had an owl statue laying around? You felt the need to give Diluc something back, but what did you have to give him? So that very night, you took him outside of Mondstadt so you could capture a Mist Flower Corolla for your friend.

Typically, you wouldn’t take your employer out on an errand, but you were done with work, so it wasn’t Master Diluc. It was just Diluc. Diluc looked like he wanted to say no to you because he didn’t really devote his time into something so trivial, but you insisted.

“If you needed it that badly,” Diluc said, “you could have asked me. We have plenty near the winery, and I can take care of them easily.”

“It’s not that,” you said, watching an Ice Flower bloom and freeze the water around it. “It’s about the adventure. The message.”

“And what’s this message you speak of?”

“It’s the message of ‘hey, I nearly froze my ass off to get this flower for you, but I care about you enough to risk frostbite.’”

“How… kind of you, [Name].”

You and Diluc spent all night catching enough Mist Flower Corollas for your liking. You wanted a bouquet, and you had a bouquet at the end of the night, at the expense of Diluc’s time and your sleep. You carried the bundle in your hands happily.

Diluc’s fire skills came handy, and it wouldn’t be a lie if you said you brought him along just for it. You liked his personality and his friendship, of course, but his fire skills were a… plus!

On the nights where it was just you and he, Diluc sat nearer to you now. Diluc picked up Charles’ shifts more often and sat across from you whenever you were seated at tables. He sat next to you at the bar, entertaining you out of your boredom.

It wasn’t until one day, Donna of the flower shop was gushing about Diluc, and you felt uneasy. You’d known that Donna was incredibly fond of Diluc, but it never bothered you until now.

Of course, you brought it up to Charles, one of your closest confidants, only third to your bank account and Lisa.

“He likes you back, you know,” Charles said, playing with the tip jar. The coins clinked and clanked in there. “I can tell you that much, [Name].”

“Ewwwwww,” you moaned. “Talking to you about my problems is gross. Where’s Lisa? She’ll tell me the truth for sure. You only want me happy so I can clean the entire tavern for free again. You want me to cover your shift again?”

“Sure I do,” Charles said, “but what I’m saying is true, [Name]. He looks at you all funky.”

“Yeah, because I’m a funky gal.”

“Stop it.”

“Funky, funky, funky.”

“Please.” Charles sighed and set down the tip jar. “It’s like… you and he are weirdly connected. He looks at you a lot. He always looks at you whenever there’s a joke, just to see if you’re laughing, I guess. He must like your laugh. I think it sounds like a horse, personally.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek. You loved talking to Charles. You loved money. You loved your friends, and you loved your happiness. You loved—no, you liked Diluc. You didn’t know what to do when it came to him. Maybe if you kept away, your affections would find someone else to torment.

Like, for example, that newly hired boy next door that nearly killed his shop’s plants. He was a clumsy sort of cute.

But Diluc was not clumsy. He was meticulous and always got the job done. He took care of himself well, and on days he overworked, you made sure he took some time to rest.

You shook your head. You should stop thinking about Diluc for now and focus.

Yet it was always you and Diluc, and Diluc began to invade your thoughts. You brought up weaving flowers into his long hair, and Diluc always turned you down, saying that there wasn’t enough time for that.

You wished to brush Diluc’s bangs back and lightly kiss his forehead, if he was okay with that. Instead, you said to Diluc, you have a big forehead. No wonder you’re so smart.

Can we go back to the part where you said I had a big forehead? he’d retorted.

It wasn’t until nearly a month later did Diluc come to his shift with Mist Flower Corollas in hand and shyly handed them to you. There was a red hue on his cheeks, and his voice was small, afraid of rejection. His hair was tied back in a neater fashion, and his eyes were cast downward.

Become someone dear to me, he had said.

He wore fine clothes and a nervous expression. It was so out of character for Diluc. You felt as if you were watching a high school boy struggle to express his feelings. However, had Diluc walked into the tavern with a more open chest and chin up, he wouldn’t have been Diluc at all.

You liked Diluc as he was—somewhat closed off but kind enough. Mondstadt’s hero. A knight who donned glimmering red hair and a steel exterior. You wondered if Diluc had to prep himself before coming to you.

“Sorry,” he said although there was nothing to be sorry for, really. “I mean, if you don’t like the flowers—”

Hey, I nearly froze my ass off to get this flower for you, but I care about you enough to risk frostbite.

You took the flowers. “Oh, no, I love it. I really, really do, Master Diluc!”

“Just Diluc.”

“Diluc,” you corrected. “Do I get financial compensation if I become someone dear to you?”

“For starters, I could give you a Mist Flower Corolla every day,” Diluc said, “if that’s enough to satiate you.”

“And then?”

“In the evenings, I’d take you to Cider Lake to watch the starry night while you read those magazines of yours. We don’t need to talk. Just bask in each other’s company, really.”

You tried to fight the smile that was growing on your face. You set down the flowers on the bar counter before saying, “that’s it?”

“I’d let you weave flowers into my hair. I’d take you all over Teyvat, if that’s what you wished as well. I’d take care of you as much as you had taken care of me whenever I’m injured. I’d learn your jokes and get along well with your friends because they seem pleasant.”

You didn’t know Diluc was such a romantic. You dusted Diluc’s shoulder. “I would hold your hand.”

Diluc frowned. “This doesn’t feel very equal to me.”

“You want more?” you quipped. “I’d kiss your forehead. And then I’d read to you. That is, if you like fairy tales… Oh! And then I’d take you up to the mountains where we could see the constellations the best! I love constellations; they’re so pretty.”

“Truthfully,” Diluc admitted, “you don’t have to do anything. I think… I think I’d be satisfied if I just had your company.”

“Would you now? And what about Donna from the flower shop?”

“What about her?”

“Oh, nothing.” You pretended to think about Diluc’s proposal. “I have to say, I think I’m enchanted by your offer, Diluc. I’m going to have to say yes. I will become someone dear to you.”

PART I - PART II - PART III

#diluc ragnvindr #diluc #genshin impact diluc #x reader #genshin impact #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin impact x reader #me speedrunning the ending desperately:

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harley-style · 4 years ago

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DREAM SMP Swap AU

Dream = Wilbur : Dream comes into the server to help these two kids who are trying to stir shit up -- why not, right? He's got a fondness for chaos but also very protective and caring over his friends. VERY FOND OF TUBBO. To the point of.. well, brotherhood. Wilbur = Dream : He had a vision, to create a place where people could emancipate -- he's not above being the bad guy to keep that ideal in place. He's charming and self-confident and isn't afraid to use blackmail or get all up in your business. Has dirt on everyone but Dream. Constantly threatens secrets but subtle, yanno? Again, very charming, very persuasive.

Tubbo = Tommy : Still very sweet, but Big Crime often comes out to play more often than not. Also a huge trouble magnet, tried to start a...Honey smuggling empire? For some fucking reason, despite its innocent sounding plan, is a threat to Wilbur's land but no one has any idea why. Tommy = Tubbo : Tommy has an innate fucking fixation on music discs. He's got Cat and Mellohi personally. He dreams of starting up a music cafe/music area...? He and Dream get along swimmingly, Dream actually gifts Tommy a few music discs too, but also pins Tommy with the name discount Dave Strider.

Fundy = Eret : Was convinced earlier on by Wilbur to continue his 'legacy' and ideals. Fundy further grows into a neutral party, doing things only when it benefits him. Is the traitor from the first war. Eret = Fundy : Gets far too involved with stuff and the only way out is if he wiggles through the restraints on him. Yes that's metaphorical.

JSchlatt = Technoblade : Assists through uses of contracts and business deals. Like, hello, Tubbo's Honey smuggling business? He and Dream make an agreement, he supplies Dream and Tubbo with shit, and Dream does favors for Schlatt. Technoblade = Jschlatt : Anarchy lmfao. Was actually brought on by Wilbur in secret. Acted as a benefactor for Dream before turning around and causing chaos in the land Dream Tubbo and Tommy built. Blood for the blood god, only the strongest gets to the top kind of government. There's always fucking pitfights. Oops.

Philza = Callahan : Largely uninvolved in the events, mostly just there to supervise Wilbur, Tommy and Techno. Duh. Callahan = Philza : Has personal history with Dream, tries to convince him not to do the thing that could hurt everyone else. Minimally succeeds.

Alyssa = Niki : Ready to defend her home and her family. Niki = Alyssa : Neutral, but ready to back Wilbur up if need be.

Sapnap = Bad : Arsonist, goes around and burns shit whenever he wants to. His base is a Nether inspired fortress. Also, he has to deal with a Nether problem in reference to the Red Vine problem from the original SMP. Hotlands? LMFAO Bad = Sapnap : Helps when asked. Started out on Wilbur's side, as a favor, but slowly shifts neutral due to the conflict between factions.

Karl = Skeppy : Gets held hostage? That's what preoccupies Sapnap's time. He suddenly disappeears or gets trapped in a cell. Skeppy = Karl : Runs around doing supply runs. Gets his friends into various stints to try and settle the conflict through friendly rivalry and competition. It doesn't always work.

George = Ranboo : Unlike original Ranboo, George is highly unsympathetic and needs concrete fucking facts before he acts, and that kind of backfires on him in the end. As a favor to Dream (how many favors is Dream involved in honestly) he runs messages back and forth from Tubbo to Tommy. Ranboo = George : Largely uninvolved in the conflict, like Niki, but unlike OG George, is not absent. He's just there to assist. One of the most innocent and purest people on the SMP, knows when to keep his head down. When his house burns down, he doesn't really believe its Tubbo who did it -- he knows the kid has been framed because he'd been WITH him at the time, but Wilbur pressures him to admit it.

Quackity = Punz : Wilbur's loyal paid henchman. Quackity will cause shit for the appropriate price, he's not exceptionally picky. That stunt he did as Mexican Dream was great and everyone in L'Manberg loved it. Punz = Quackity : One of the best fighters under Techno. Has more morals, but keeps them secretly. Very good at hiding his true intentions/feelings.

(sorry about the other characters not being on here, i dont know them enough to make swaps, or dont know who they'd make a good swap with. Swap who you wanna swap though! i'd like to hear your take on this matter! HEADCANONS ACCEPTED TOO AT THIS POINT EVERYTHING HERE IS FROM WHAT I REMEMBER AND MY HEADCANONS)

PLOT

-Wilbur starts the SMP with Niki, slowly invites others like Ranboo, Tommy, and Tubbo.

-Tubbo expresses a desire to Fuck Shit Up and Tommy says they can get Dream, he's an expert at getting away.

-Dream is extremely protective of them both. Tubbo more than Tommy but that's fine because Tommy is largely independent.

-Tubbo gets in the weirdest shit but Tommy can roll with the punches really quickly.

-Wilbur gets tired of their crap and burns down Tubbo's establishment. It's like the Disc Wars except it's the Great Honey War. Bee War? Basically he's tired of Tubbo hogging all the Honey related expenditures.

-Dream gets the idea to make a honey smuggling empire, as a joke, but Tubbo is Big Crime and he's going with it. Tommy just wants chaos, and he was getting bored tbh.

-Eventually the Honey thing turns into Resource management, so Tubbo Dream and Tommy have a hold on all major supplies

-Shit happens and Dream, Tubbo, Tommy, Eret, Sam, Fundy and Alyssa establish an independent nation. Dunno what to call it bc the server is called the L'manberg SMP so....

-The fight for indepencence still happens. Instead of 'Green boy' Wilbur is named 'E-boy'. Dream still says "WE HAVE NO MERCY FOR YOU" when Wil calls for a ceasefire negotiation, but Wilbur does threaten the nation saying "If there is no white flag by tomorrow, then you can kiss your sorry little arses good bye. That's my final warning."

-Turns out Fundy's been secretly funneling information to Wilbur in exchange for the safety of his friends, and also because Wilbur's his dad....uhm. Also! He and Dream are circling each other and others are like "OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE DEAD RINGERS FOR QUEERPLATONIC MATES JUST MARRY ALREADY" bc I like FundyWasTaken but others might not and its okay, we'll label it as platonic, but can be read otherwise depending on your tastes. But for this, it's very close platonic.

-Wilbur goads Tommy into a fight, as brothers do, but Tubbo steps in and Wilbur fucking jumps at the chance.

-This is the start of Dream's descent into madness. No one fucking threatens or pulls one of his friends like that. Denied. It's still subtle though, so he's okay for now.

-Tubbo and Wilbur face off. When Tubbo pulls back bc he genuinely doesn't want to hurt anyone, Wilbur takes the chance and beats him.

-Tubbo, however, makes a deal. Let their nation stand on its own, and he'll give up the Resource Empire he started. Wilbur accepts, with the condition that they unify their alliance with a...marriage? So basically, political marriage between Wilbur's heir, Fundy, and Dream, the leader of the revolution.

-YEAH I WENT THERE THIS IS VALID

-They're strained at first, but Dream and Fundy slowly mend their relationship post-betrayal.

-Fast forward a few months later. The Nation doesn't really have a leader, as per the agreement, but it does have a representative. All decisions are made via majority votes, and that decision is voiced by the rep and sub-rep, Dream and Tubbo respectively. Tommy's just there to have a good time and causes chaos as per usual.

-Enter Technoblade. He's been called in by Wilbur to...ah. Dismantle a little...nation. Sounds right up his alley. But he asks Wilbur to wait and see what happens.

-Tommy and Dream get the idea to hold a tournament to celebrate their independence, an all out brawl for everyone to kick back and relieve stress. There. That's where Techno comes in.

-He gets Punz to join him after like, being paid (ofc) and they fucking dominate the tournament. Dream's about to congratulate them but Techno turns the fuck around and declares his right to rule the nation. If anyone wants to fight him for the title, they're welcome to try.

-Dream loses another life to Techno trying and failing to fight it. He and a few others lost their first life sometime elsewhere? I guess? Probably by being blown up by Wilbur, idk.

-Tubbo and Dream are chased out by people who reluctantly follow Techno's orders, and Tommy, torn between his friends and his brothers, stays behind. Oh jeezus.

-Since Techno is a fighting GOD, no one's able to usurp him to make things turn back to normal. But Dream is smart, and knows Wilbur's 100% behind this. Fundy kind of knew but didn't do shit about it, which is why Dream rejects Fundy's offer of sanctuary. He can't be sure his husband will stay on his side, after all. It's nothing personal.

-Dream and Tubbo hide away somewhere, probably not a ravine but?? A mountain or something? They manage to get Sam away enough to ask him to build a super cool Redstone contraption thing that opens for them. ooooo.

-I'm not good at names but for the sake of jokes I'm gonna call their land the 'Bee's Knees' bc at some point Tubbo finds a fuckton of Hives hanging from Trees. Bee Mountain if Dream's feeling especially salty.

-SPEAKING OF DREAM. his insanity is on course now, it's slowly eating away at him and in fear of hurting Tubbo he's slowly distancing himself away. Tubbo's like what's wrong but Dream can't answer -- he doesn't know what's wrong with himself either.

-Tubbo and Dream need to go back and confront Techno, but they can't wait for long else Techno's going to obliterate everyone and their extra lives. They call Schlatt in.

-Schlatt's a pure business man and draws up a contract. He'll aid them in terms of supplies, but most of the revolution is on them. They agree.

-Tommy is actually really fucking good at lying and skirting around what he reveals to Dream and tubbo as a spy that Techno would have believed him if he didnt' know his brother. and Wilbur's warnings, of course. That results in Techno just being fucking done with Tommy's bullshit and plans his execution in another tournament? I guess?

-It doesn't go like the festival. First of all, Schlatt can't fight for shit, so why would Techno call him up the stage? No, Schlatt fights dirty. techno doesn't set much rules so theres no rule against poisoning Tommy quick and easy before the fight. Tommy loses another life and is on his last. Tubbo is spitting mad, but Schlatt points out that nothing in the contract covered this, so he's free to do as necessary. Tubbo is stopped by Dream who, at this point, is just overtaken by the need to one-up Techno.

-Also, Wilbur's been slowly persuading Dream to just. Let go. Let the monster inside of him free, he 'deserves it'. By the end of it all, Dream does. He snaps and lets loose the monster crying for blood inside him.

-Callahan is left to convince his old friend not to do it. In a moment of clarity, Dream stares on in horror of what he'd done. In his rage he managed to deplete ALL of Techno's lives (not really but shhhh), cause massive bloodshed, and terrified everyone in the process. He asks Callahan to kill him. Callahan does.

-Yes we'll get to Ghost Dream eventually.

-Anyway, Schlatt still does the Wither plan, because, uh, Drunken Rage. He was so stressed out from the ensuing conflict that he's like "LETS JUST FINISH THE REST OF YOU. THERE WILL BE NO CONFLICT IF YOU ARENT THERE TO FIGHT."

-and then he uses the line from the Lego movie on Tubbo like "Oh, Tubbster. It's nothing personal. It's just Business(tm)".

-Schlatt still dies of stroke. He does come back as a ghost though, that's one main difference.

-After everything's said and done, and the dust has settled, everyone decides to disband the nation, and just live their lives. like, they're done, wilbur, they get your point, jfc, let them rest.

-but uhhhh someone frames tubbo for setting fire to ranboo's (the server sweetheart) house. wilbur immediately decides to exile tubbo in 'anger'. acutally, he wants tommy and tubbo separated.

-tommy's not standing for it though, he fucking fights his way until wilbur threatens him and tubbo's like YES FINE OKAY I'LL AGREE TO BEING EXILED STOP THREATENING YOUR BROTHER

-tubbo's exile arc is not as sad as tommy's, but rather very tense because wilbur keeps riling tubbo up and taunting him. he still keeps contact with tommy though because they arent going to be separated just like that. no way. tubbo just gets a little more mad and gets short tempered like a lot.

-ranboo's not even that mad about it, he knows tubbo would never burn his house, there was a conspiracy on board and even if there wasn't he's like "arent yall overreacting its just a house, didnt you all do this like before the first war even began, what even (also, ranboo was WITH tubbo at the time of his house allegedly being set on fire. Not that he'll admit to it, because he and tubbo made that agreement long before)

-eventually he finds out that wilbur just wanted to pin the blame on tubbo to make him leave, and ranboo's like "IM DONE WITH YOUR CRAP WILLBUR STOP HURTING THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT" and leaves

-with the nation gone, people started to solidify their groups. sapnap and karl deal with their own thing, quackity still runs errands for wilbur, george is the main person ferrying messages from tubbo to tommy back and forth, etc.

-there's a funeral for dream, ofc, fundy arranged it. all of dream's shit was hidden because fundy doesnt want wilbur to get it.

-niki's still there managing her bakeshop but doubles as an informant for wilbur because she's well liked within the server

-ghost dream is present and he's a chaotic troll who mostly hangs around tommy. he's really hyper active and is always on the move, you can never catch him sitting still for like, 5 minutes

THAT"S ALL I HAVE FOR MY SMP SWAP AU PLEASE BE GENTLE I DONT HAVE TIME TO GET ALL THE FACTS STRAIGHT FROM THE OG SMP qwq

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hanijunk · 4 years ago

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Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.

Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!

Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO

Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.

Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO

I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol

Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao.

I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo

I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.

This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).

I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.

THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP

First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).

Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.

Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications.

Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.

Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma.

Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential.

But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.

Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.

If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*

And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL

As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.

Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes!

Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.

I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more.

There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.

Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes.

TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--

#honeyworks #dolce #kazufuuma #kazuki haiga #fuuma shirayuki #long post #analysis #character analysis #kinda?#nobody cares trash #also keep in mind this is PURELY for self satisfaction LMFAO read it if u wanna dont if u dont idgaf either way #anyway kazufuuma canon fight me #or have intellectual conversation with me #if you want it on a google doc bc it's easier to read hmu #if you can't tell i think about kazufuuma too much #how much of this is repetitive? probably a lot...

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ashtcnirwin · 3 years ago

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i know bad confidence thoughts cant be fixed with good vibes only (sometimes a good nights sleep helps, literally saw this before i go to bed myself cus i hate everything im drawing but i figure tomorrow will bring a new outlook ✨) sO LIKE. i understand what ur feeling BUT!!!! good vibes dont hurt so if u wanna keep those for a day where they are more effective feel free to do so but as of now im kamehameha-ing a beam of love and appreciation ur way <3 /// i remember seeing CAD around when i started reading fic and not rlly wanting to click on it cus it seemed very nsfw heavy and i wasnt sure id be comfortable with it but boy is it the best decision ive ever made <3 your writing is really compelling and your characterisation is some of my favorite in fandom, it feels like you get how people work and i really like that, its also helped me understand people better thru how you write them (does that make sense. lmfao) and it doesnt have to be perfect, it definitely should be for u first and foremost, tho as a fellow ""content creator "" i definitely understand how ur feeling and idk if theres a solution to that, really :’) still, dont put too much pressure on urself, you’re not gonna disappoint (another trick i have is reminding myself that no one has to know that it was better in my head lmao all theyre seeing is the finished product so who cares abt the original idea 💀)

okay i did take 30 seconds to make a (terrible) gif of michael for this cos idk how else i could possibly respond

"its also helped me understand people better thru how you write them" i----huh??? how can i possibly come up with a decent response to a compliment of that caliber? am i expected to??? i shouldn't be cos i can't. i just can't, simple as that

no you're absolutely right, fellow terrible-sleep-schedule-european of mine, it's just a matter of reminding myself of it when the right (or, wrong ig) mood strikes

thank u, ily, you're one of my favourite ppl, in case you were wondering🧡

#wtf #i'm screenshotting this and keeping it for rainy days #ask #teresa

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fishylife · 3 years ago

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Street Dance of China Season 4, Episode 5

- I love practice montages! I was surprised that we got to see the process of each of the captains (of the competing teams) choosing dancers to their teams. Ibuki and Ma Xiaolong were speaking English to each other, and I don’t doubt that English was probably the main mode of communication across borders for these dancers.

- Okay Ibuki leading Huang Xiao by hand and then Huang Xiao cackling in glee and hugging Ma Xiaolong....very cute.

- So...is Huang Xiao baby?

- Huehuehue love Poppin’C’s laugh

- Ibuki said that Ma Xiaolong helped her a lot with recruitment. I think that’s for two reasons. One is that Ma Xiaolong (and Huang Xiao) are choreographers, so they have a better idea of what styles look together. The other is that Ma Xiaolong knows the Chinese dancers better than she would.

- Moony was saying how Ibuki is the captain but she is the youngest, and is definitely very cute haha.

- Yang Kai was very worried about dancing to a rap song so he recruited as many choreographers as he could. But the issue was that they all had different approaches to choreographing so they spent a lot of time discussing before choreographing and rehearsing.

- Yang Kai deadass brought his laptop to the hotpot restaurant because he was going to turn dinner into a lesson on Three Kingdoms for Boris and Kenken lol. The name of their song was Chitu, which is the horse of Lv Bu. Basically Chitu was just a great super capable horse and that’s why it was so famous lol. Yang Kai was trying to compare their battle to the Three Kingdoms lmao. Kenken was Zhuge Liang, Ibuki was Cao Cao (LMAO), and Chitu Ma was a Ferrari lol. Not gonna lie though, the stories in Three Kingdoms are pretty iconic lol.

- In terms of the performances, I liked them both! I think that Team Ibuki’s performance was very fun in the sense that it was like a story. I don’t think songs like that are popular dance songs, so I really liked seeing how they choreographed the dance and I felt that it was done in a very creative and fun way. I think where it may have fallen short was the cohesion. I like Poppin’C, but I wonder if it was difficult to fit him in because his skill set was so specific. As well, because all of the dancers were wearing different clothes, it was a bit difficult to see their synchronization during the group dance parts. For Team Yang Kai’s performance, it definitely was extremely hype. Whereas Team Ibuki wore different clothes, Team Yang Kai had a dress code so the cohesion was easy to see. But I feel like Team Yang Kai’s performance was being propped up by the fact that it had a very hype song, one that easy to dance to.

- Rochka continues to be the biggest fanboy of every single person on this show. I love him!!!

- Y’all have no idea how much I love hearing Boris speak Chinese. Yes, he has an accent, but he is also very easy to understand. You have no idea how difficult it is to find non-ethnic Chinese people who speak Chinese this fluently. Iunno, he just makes Mandarin seem so much more approachable. Boris said that he’d been in China for 7 years so it makes sense that he feels so confident speaking. A lot of people who are learning languages have to get over that hump where they stop feeling embarrassed about their accent because they have to go out and live their life and buy groceries and go to the doctor and stuff and it’s really interesting to hear Boris expressing himself.

- Henry feeling so pressured when he had to choose which team to pick lmao.

- Yixing went “We’re looking at you because you’re cute!” So bold, Yixing XD

- And Henry went “I feel pressured because you guys are handsome.” XD Two can play at that.

- Then Han Geng went “Henry’s Chinese is so good now!” XD My mom says that to me when I make a good joke in Chinese.

- Yixing has to talk behind his clipboard because he’s so nervous lmfao.

- So the rule is that one judge gets two votes for each matchup. In addition to that, that judge has to cut three members, two to enter a battle and one to be eliminated immediately, not including the captain.

- Ibuki was so upset when she returned to her seat :(

- Ye Yin had his team draw out their feelings as they listened to their assigned song. I thought it was a bit gimmicky, but this visual is cute.

- I thought Team Ye Yin’s performance was cool considering this was a song that would be difficult to choreograph for. I was surprised with how the incorporated breaking and locking elements, as there are breaking and locking experts on their team. But overall I thought the choreography was so nice. It told a story, and it suited the vibe of the song. Props to Bunta for the awesome choreography.

- Han Geng said that their performance reminded him of his youth, and then Henry said that he felt the same, that the performance reminded him of Geng-ge. He was like “ge, do you remember?“ and Geng-ge was like of course! Han Geng said he remembered their romantic days X’D So unnecessary. At one point the director was like did Han Geng and Henry used to have their arms around each other’s shoulders? And both of them were like uhh yeah all the time dude.

- George was asked about his rivalry with C-Lil because they keep getting stuck together lol. Apparently C-Lil became a tea enthusiast which was cute.

- Yuwan clapping his hands while his arms around C-Lil :3

- Team Liangliang’s performance was cut because apparently it was not very good, and the editors cut it out to prevent them from getting haters. I think Liangliang’s Sun Wukong headgear had obstructed his vision, and Yixing said that the performance wasn’t very in sync. A pity :(

- Gogo Brothers’ team is stack af.

- Gogo Brothers + Hilty & Bosch hotel room conference lol.

- AC went for a waacking + krump combo which is cool! Their performance was extremely aesthetically pleasing. Even though the fire power is perhaps less explosive, they worked together as a team very well. I definitely thought the waacking and the krump complemented each other very well.

- AC bought snail noodles for his team members, and apparently it’s one of those very polarizing foods, but Chika really liked it haha.

- Ohh, you know this is gonna be good.

- Team Gogo Brothers’ performance was good, but at the same time...there wasn’t anything new about it? Since there were five lockers on the, most of the performance was going to be high quality locking, but at the same time, the locking kind of overshadowed any attempt to try anything new. It was still good though, I just felt that it had limitations compared to AC’s performance that did something new with combining styles, both in terms of dance and aesthetics (costumes).

- Love to see the baby smile v.v

- Lmao Xiao Jie said that Xiaohai was the good luck charm of their team XD His good luck charm name is Jr. Baby, aka Haibaobao lol

- Yibo and Yixing voted for Gogo Brothers, and Han Geng voted for AC, so Henry, who had two votes, had the final say in who would win this battle. Then we got the theatrics where Han Geng, Yibo, and Yixing went into the audience because their job was done lol.

- Then Henry was like “ge~~~~ didn’t you say you would take care of me?” And Han Geng’s like, I’m letting you have the SDOC experience bro.

- Even though we all know it’s a joke, Han Geng is still so caring and affectionate lol.

- Anyway, after all that shenaniganery, what Henry said was right. It feels so tough eliminating any single member of the team, because it was all of them who helped deliver such a beautiful performance. I know AC had a tough time going up against Gogo brothers but dammit I actually super loved their performance. So cruel!!!!!

- Han Geng felt bad because Auju had said he wanted to be in a solo battle in the 3 vs 3 challenge, but he was put in the 5 vs. 5 battle and then this group performance, so Han Geng wanted to let him have the stage to perform his best. I thought it was a nice gesture, to let him have the stage to show off in the way he was most confident with, to let himself show himself at his best.

- Then Henry was like “what if we had Auju AND Yixing????”

- And then Boi Marble joined!!! Krumptastic

- Yixing said that even though krumpers look really fierce, that aside from the krump, all of them are lil cuties uwu.

- Team Nelson having fun with Hanfu was so cute! :D Sometimes with the non-Chinese contestants, I worry that they find the Chinese culture stuff tedious, because SDOC does try to fit as much culture in. So I’m glad to see that they’re at least finding a way to have fun. I wish I had such pretty hanfu to dress up in v.v

- I’ll be honest though, I don’t think Nelson’s team was very synchronized. He had a lot of very good individual dancers (Bouboo, Zyko, Lil Kev, that firepower is undeniable), but there were parts when I felt like all of the dancers were doing their own thing. Maybe the choreography was too subtle, or maybe the dancers themselves had slightly different rhythms.

- Acky-san giving red pockets to his team, but instead of money, he wrote them letters in different languages T_T

- A full popping team is risky move, but it paid off. Everybody was popping so everybody was dancing to their strength. Compare that to some of the other teams, where there were some dancers who clearly were lagging because they were dancing to a style they were very comfortable with. In addition, the visual style of the performance was fresh and fun. Their costumes were very wacky and fun to look at, and their performance exuded the kind of fun vibes where you felt like you wanted to join them.

- Out of the captains who’d lost their challenges, they would have to battle each other in a round robin style tournament. First place would get to keep two of their "pending” members, and second place would get to keep one.

- Yixing got up SO FAST when Tell Me started playing. I didn’t know this song before so I looked it up and it is a bop haha.

- Yixing dancing along uwu I don’t know the name of this song but it was the second song in the Ibuki vs. Liangliang battle.

- AC vs. Ibuki dancing to It’s Raining Men was A LOT of fun, particularly because everybody including the spectators knew the song haha.

- The first place winner was Nelson who was able to save Tengzai and Lil Kev and the second place winner was AC who could only choose one person to save, and AC chose Fanfan.

- Ma Xiaolong and Huang Xiao comforting Ibuki because she couldn’t save her team members :(

- Ahh I’m going to miss Yuri because she was so cute and fun. AC apologized for not being able to save her :( Gonna miss u bb ;(

- I liked Latrice too T_T Hated to see her go :(

- Brats playing with the microphones. They basically disassembled their standing microphones and waved the part around even after Han Geng already told Yibo not to lmao.

- So this section was supposed to be the captains’ opportunity to tell the dancers what kind of team they were looking to put together. Yixing was so surprised because Han Geng and Yibo had very simple and short statements (though it took a while for Han Geng to get to his point), because the boy deadass prepared a speech. Of course he did.

- Yang Kai said that his speech sounded like a motivational speech from a boss at work. That’s exactly what it is.

- Apparently Henry also prepared a speech XD

- So from what I understand, the captains will recruit a team that they think represents their style. Afterwards, the dancers who have not been chosen will get to choose their team based on which captain’s style they like. I think that’s how it works, we’ll see if I’m right lol.

- Henry trying to gleam information X3 Yibo just deals with the pressure by smiling and shaking his head. Dare I say this is the first time I’ve seen Yibo look shy??????? It’s cuuuute.

- Since the cubicles don’t have ceilings, Henry was like someone could be watching me!

- Nosy housecat in training

- Yibo and Henry and Han Geng were playing mind games being like “oh, you picked Poppin’C? And Yixing fell for the trick ^^;; Luckily he was not allowed to change his answer so at least he’s not going to make a change he regrets lol.

- All of the dancers Yixing picked were not picked by anyone else so he was quite lucky.

- Han Geng had three of his choices matching with Henry or Yibo.

- Henry has no idea how to recruit dancers so he just ends up singing love songs. Of course.

- Zyko’s loyal dude XD I can see why Han Geng is a safe choice though. Han Geng is low on the theatrics, so if I was a low key guy like Zyko, I’d probably feel less pressure being on his team. I could just focus on dance and not on entertaining the cameras.

- I can see why Nelson would go with Yibo. Yibo is quiet but he’s serious and focused and more importantly they both confirmed that they are competitors.

- Henry and Han Geng both chose Ibuki. Here Han Geng is patiently waiting/spying while Ibuki and Henry have their interview.

- Then he was offered a ladder and Geng-ge became the biggest gremlin lmao.

- Yixing the good little helper.

- C U T I E

- When Han Geng was having his interview with Ibuki, he locked the ladder in his own room and kept the key. Then he stole the keys from all the other rooms and gave them to Henry XD Actual troll-ge.

- Ibuki chose Han Geng in the end.

- So all of the people Henry chose picked other captains. This frame lmfao.

- I think last season Yixing had tons of trouble recruiting dancers to his team. In the hotpot preview he said he was super lax about this year and it worked in his favour.

#thinking out loud #cvariety #street dance of china #screencaps

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khaoscontrol · 4 years ago

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oh my man you have no idea how much lore i’ve got. you fool, you’ve given me the excuse to infodump about everything!

(sorry this got super long so i’m making a separate post, also it’s 2am so i’m not gonna format this correctly or do literally anything to it)

i’ll start by explaining the timeline, i find it easiest to categorize it by the different versions of maria that exist in the au.

for starters, we have regular old canon maria. her deal is basically the same as in canon up until her death. i really just wanted a “maria lives” au but with a twist. so basically the lore is professor gerald didn’t have a lot of confidence in finding a cure for maria via project shadow so he came up with a plan b which involved creating a machine that could upload someone’s mind onto a computer (mainly because that’s just a sci-fi trope i always liked). of course this was more of a last resort kinda deal, but when g.u.n. raided the ark they didn’t exactly have a lot of options. maria was still shot like in canon and she did physically “die” but gerald managed to upload her consciousness before she actually died. unfortunately the project was still very experimental and maria wasn’t actually able to respond to any of their tests to see if it worked, leading gerald to believe it had failed. thus allowing the plot of sa2 to still happen.

so the next maria in the timeline is cyber maria. this is just the version of maria that’s living in a computer on the ark... ...for 50 years.... ........alone. unlike shadow, she was completely conscious for this entire time which meant an awful lot of time alone with her thoughts. her memories weren’t totally together at the beginning and it takes her an awfully long time to put everything together but once she finally does she’s not quite the same and her personality shifts quite a bit. she still holds the same love for humanity and her family, but she IS tired of being nice, she DOES want to go apeshit! her main beef is with g.u.n. for literally killing her and everything else they did. she’s honestly quite pissed (rightfully so) but she can’t really do anything about it so she honestly just spends 50 years worrying about her family. she doesn’t know if shadow or her grandfather survived after everything that happened and at this point she has no idea how long it’s been.

50 years pass and the events of sa2 take place exactly as they do in canon (can’t fix perfection babey!) and although she’s on the ark, maria has no way of knowing that any of it’s happening. so it’s not actually until a little while after the events of shadow the hedgehog(2005) that anything actually happens maria wise. so the scene is eggman is looking into his grandfather’s research to see if he can get any ideas that would help him beat sonic and co when he comes across the files about the whole plan b project (lmao sorry i don’t actually have a good name for what he might’ve called it). he get’s real curious about it and decides to head back up to the ark and check it out. one thing leads to another and he manages to have a conversation with maria and she’s just thrilled to know that the outside world still exists, she also makes fun of him because “lmfao what kind of name is eggman?” after all she’s still mentally a teenager. eggman mentions that he’s quite skilled in making robots and could build a body for her back on earth and maria is all for ALL of that.

which leads us into metal maria. as soon as she has an actual physical body again eggman explains to her how long it’s been, who he actually is (literally her younger cousin lmao) and a bit of what’s been going on in the worlds, he lets it slip that he may have blown up the moon a little bit and gets thoroughly scolded on that. he also mentions that him and shadow may sorta kinda be enemies and shadow maybe is working for organization that killed her, which every bit of that makes her pissed. she decides to join forces with eggman so that he can help her take down g.u.n. since he’s not exactly on their good side. she also agrees to help deal with sonic on occasion but she doesn’t do much because “what how old is he? like 15 or something? nah dude become mortal enemies with an adult like a normal person.” despite everything, the protective older sister instinct is still strong within her and she’s super against picking fights with kids (especially ones that are friends rivals with her bro) on the subject of shadows friends, she does not like rouge, omega she doesn’t mind as much but still doesn’t like that much. she meets rouge a while before she’s actually reunited with shadow and they don’t exactly have a good first impression. maria assumes that rouge convinced shadow to join g.u.n. “because why else would he do something that stupid, he’s dumb but he can’t be that dumb?” and rouge just doesn’t buy maria’s backstory and assumes eggman only made her to mess with shadow. also rouge is lowkey jealous of maria because she’s got that v good and strong sisterly bond with shadow and DAMNIT she want’s that! so the two of them are basically enemies for a while until maria finally manages to reunite with shadow and he’s honestly just really fed up with them constantly fighting and arguing so their relationship dies down to less of enemies and more of a petty rivalry. also at some point during all that maria decides that metal sonic is also her brother now and there’s nothing he can do about it (spoilers: he actually really enjoys her affection but tries not to show it)

over time maria and metal become kinda a neutral party between sonic and eggman. and honestly with maria’s constant lecturing, eggman kinda tones it down on the world domination deal and becomes more of a dr. doofenshmirtz type villain because it’s funnier that way. (sorry i ONLY make an au if it’s wholesome) he kinda only keeps up the villain gig for the press and because it’s kinda his brand at this point.

which leads us into neo metal maria, 10 years in the future maria takes over the eggman empire. it’s 110% for show. she puts on this big facade of being a villain with megamind level dramatics but she never does anything other than screw over g.u.n., which team dark has long since stopped working with at this point, finally. seriously that sucked what the heck where you thinking sega? whatever i fixed it for them ;)

in the future of this au (which i don’t focus on a whole lot because i like drawing them as a bunch of kids just screwing around, god i’m so smart sega could never) since eggman isn’t a problem everyone’s whole deal is just dealing with other threats and also just a lot of adventuring. every once and a while some old god will try and destroy the world again as per usual and maria will actually step in to help. because of this and the fact that she’s not actually violent, maria is actually quite adored by the public. which is literally her goal, she’s not a villain she’s an entertainer!

and there’s a whole lot more to this au because i actually focus on pretty much every character and how this all plays out for them. i have a different take on how some games played out with her being there (mainly 06 and forces because they’re not great even tho i love them, but her being there made them funny) but yeah i’ve put a LOT of thought into this au and it means a whole lot to me. this is literally just a summary of eveything that happens. over time i’ll expand on this more.

but hot diggity shit, it’s 2am. so i’m just gonna wrap this up with some sketches of the gal!

#asks #my art #my shitty art #metal maria #infodumping #shut up kellington #// long post #long post

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purplesurveys · 3 years ago

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1240

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? I can’t make any dish. I wonder when I’ll get my ass up and start learning...

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? I wouldn’t dare; I have no skills in that department at all.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Angela and Hans came over so we can watch Sowoozoo.

How many long term relationships have you been in? One.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My default is lights out, but sometimes I’ll fall asleep with my night lamp still on and that’s fine too.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? I don’t really do forgiving.

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? No. I’ve tried listening to her songs but I find them too slow for my liking.

Do you know your blood type? It’s O but I keep forgetting what specific type.

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes.

Have you got your period at the moment? It’s on its last few days.

Have you ever been pregnant? Nopes.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? I was around 10 or 11, can’t remember exactly. But it was in 2009 and we headed to Boracay.

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? No. OMG, adult activity I don’t quite understand just yet hfdhfkdjfhdf.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yeah they’re both grumbling right now just outside of my room because the power went out lmfao.

When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never done this. Apples don’t grow here.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? My pay for the last two weeks haha, but that’s not coming until Friday.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? No, I wouldn’t dare. I’m pretty unpredictable when I get drunk, so I’d rather stay safe haha. I’ve worked while tipsy, but it had been outside of work hours.

How many bedrooms are in your house? 4. One for each kid, then my parents’.

Are you smart about computers? Nah.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? We didn’t have the game on our Wii, but I’ve played Just Dance before, just at other peoples’ houses.

Do you own a Xbox 360? We were a Playstation household.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? Erm, sure, whatever.

So, do you need a nap? I think I should be taking one for the sake of my health, but I won’t.

What would you rather be doing? I stumbled upon a Facebook post of this newly-opened store in Greenhills that exclusively sells photocards and I wanna head the fuck over there rn with Angela. That store concept is practically unheard of so it’s a big deal and I wanna go there as I’m 100% sure the BTS ones would sell out pretty fast. But they heightened the stupid COVID protocols yet again and we have to stay at home, so there’s that.

What sport are you the best at? Table tennis.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah but she’s turning 21 this year, so little wouldn’t be accurate anymore. We call her Nina at home but everyone else calls her by her full first name, Janina.

Do you complain a lot? I do complain a lot but I also do the thing that is causing the complaint right after so I can shut myself up lmao.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Both sound fun but I’ll probably take the temple. Yay for learning something new about culture!!

Do you like fruity or minty gum? I don’t mind flavor when it comes to gum because they fade out anyway.

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? My company set another mental health break day this upcoming August 27th, so I’ll be thinking about that day throughout the month.

Have you ever gotten detention? We don’t have detention.

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Sure.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. < Same. I can be brand-conscious sometimes, but generally if I find something cute, regardless from where I found it, I’d grab it.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Technically yeah. It was a single album.

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I already have two of them.

Ever cried so much you threw up? Possibly.

Who is your best guy friend? Hans.

What do you two do when you hang out? We usually eat out and have a drink or two.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Spotlight, just because it looked boring at first glance. It turned out to be very riveting and the screenplay was fascinating as well.

Do you even like horror movies? Yes, but they’re best watched with other people.

Do you live in the country? Nopes.

What is your favorite accent? I don’t have one.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? I had the chance to try out Pepsi when we went to Taco Bell two weeks ago - it was my first time to have it and it was...actually pretty good??? The soda-hater in me was scandalized HAHAHA but it was good!!! I think I prefer Pepsi now.

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? My 21st birthday started out terribly because Gabie’s family didn’t want her to hang out with me on a Sunday (the day my birthday fell on), so we were in an argument the whole day. Angela saved the day when she planned out an impromptu dinner + arcade date for me, and that was the only good part of the day, really. I’d rather forget the rest of it.

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? I don’t think so.

Do you take a lot of pictures? I’m starting to, now.

What kind of face wash do you use? Good ol’ water.

Does drama always seem to follow you? Not these days.

Does anybody in your family race? Nope.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? Dad, I guess. But I wouldn’t particularly call myself ‘close’ with either.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I never received money from them.

How long do you want to live with your parents? Maybe up until my mid-20s? Late-20s at the latest. I’m not exactly in the position to move out yet. The money I make at the moment would probably just be enough to cover rent, and just rent. I’d end up starving to death hahaha.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? Sure.

Do you secretly like someone? I don’t.

Would you ever date your best male friend? No. I also wouldn’t do that to Angela.

What are you currently listening to? Moon by Jin! Such a comfort song.

Do you want to be single? Yes.

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in and was knocked out pretty early since I had been up since 1 AM.

Have you pretended to like someone? No. I don’t see why I would have to that.

How is your heart lately? Just filled with nothing but Bangtan at this point haha. It’s doing well!

Are you wearing socks? No. Socks bother me for the most part; they make my feet feel a bit suffocated.

What do people call you? Robyn.

Do you get stressed out easily? Yeah, I’m quite the overthinker.

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No, I’ve never actually been inside an ambulance, whether it came for me or for another person.

What is wrong with you right now? I should probably cut back on the vaping, for one.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? No.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? It’s hard for me to sleep with someone else. Even when I had been in a relationship, I usually only got to fall asleep an hour or so after my partner already dozed off.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No, I cut ties at the start of the year and have been substantially better since then.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? I honestly don’t think so. I’m the bigger crybaby between us.

Did you get any compliments today? My mom thanked me for covering for Cooper’s shots today since they ended up being quite costly.

Have you ever gone to a beach? Yes, it’s one of my absolute favorite places to be.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Pass up on the offer.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? I’ve never had the ample time to, so no. I’ve always wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter, though.

Do you have long nails? They’re not dramatically long, but they have started to grow out.

Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. < Same.

Do you generally look nice in photos? I think this is the case these days, yeah. I’ve started feeling more confident and I think it’s able to translate in photos.

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No.

What colour are your father’s eyes? Dark brown.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? BTS DUH

Name three facts about your family? I come from a family of lawyers; many of us are big history buffs; and many are also fantastic cooks so I don’t know where that talent could have possibly gone when it come to my generation hah.

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? If I’ve reached a certain level of investment in the relationship, I could probably handle it.

What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? A Punk shirt and Petals For Armor physical CD from Andi this last Christmas.

What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. < Yessssss!

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I don’t.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carving pumpkins sounds fun, especially since I haven’t tried it before.

Do you think you’re important? Idk. I don’t really like drawing attention to myself though, so that could probably answer your question.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Andi wrote a letter for me to accompany the aforementioned Christmas gifts they gave, and it remains to be my favorite letter I’ve received. They essentially reminded and affirmed me that I’m stronger than I think I am, and that I’ve been through a lot and have grown a lot, and that that growth is seen by people around me.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? No.

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? Just to different cities, but considering how tiny my country is, the move is quite insignificant lol.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? I’m 100% sure I don’t know how to properly hold chopsticks, but I have my own way and it works lol. Fake it til you make it.

Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. < Same. I don’t mind leading, especially considering the control freak I can be lolol.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten anything today. I skipped breakfast since I brought Cooper to the vet, and by the time I got back the dining table had already been cleared. It’s fine though, I don’t feel too hungry.

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? I’d be with Angela, Reena, and Hans at that insane new photocard store I talked about earlier. IDEALLY, we’d probably pick up a photocard or two if the ones we want aren’t sold out yet (lol a rarity), then we’d have some nachos and stuff right after and just talk about all things Bangtan lol with Hans cracking us up the whole time since he is just naturally hilarious.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? Content. Happy. I feel warm and loved and surrounded by the best people.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? Learning how to cook is one.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? Not really.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Being in the purple ocean with my best friends.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? A part of me wishes my final face-to-face conversation with Gabie had been a more solid closure, just so we could finally put a hard stop to that chapter. But at that time I thought we would continue talking, so there had still been some stuff lingering in the air when we called it a day and parted ways. So in a sense we never really got closure when I finally cut ties, which the ESTJ in me remains to be nagged by, but I try not to be bothered by it anymore considering how much better I am doing right now. We didn’t know the future at the time, so it’s okay the way things turned out, ultimately.

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I have no clue. It’s not really a priority.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I’m fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ Nah.

How many drugs are in your system? Just caffeine.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Werkwerkwerkwerk.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? Nopes.

Do you call anyone baby? I don’t.

What’s your current mood? I’m prety neutral. I wish I could be out right now, but stupid Covid and stupid quarantine. But I don’t really mind staying at home, either, so. I’m just so-so.

Do you think you are a good person? I hope so.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? I watched Sunday mass with my family.

How late did you stay up last night? Around midnight.

When was the last time you cried really hard? I cried just a few days ago because period hormones, but the last time I cried hard? I’m not sure. April maybe?

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? LOL yes it’s soooooooo long already.

#survey #surveys

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