#so i just sit here and beat myself up about it
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icarusredwings · 1 day ago
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FINE ill review it DAMN
Review of hellraiser heartbreaker
Playlist:
Murder on the Dancefloor - Sophie Ellis Bextor
Tommy Gun - Royal Republic
Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys
Tell Me The Truth - Two Feet
Undisclosed Desires - Muse
Jolene - Beyonce
I Wanna Be Yours - Foxy Shazam
Chapter 1.
Yoo lmao young wolvie is like "whats wrong with this guy?" And wades SOOO excited to be beat the shit out of.
"Let my babt boy go >:( you big meanies" ahh wade you silly thing.
Sokay baby boy dawww
Flirty kitty it is
Remeber kiddos introducing two wolverines in a very small area is NOT advised. Young wolvie is like a kitten, his hair going up and growling because hes scared and Logan growling to admit dominance and maturity over him. Jeez lousie.
"Ahahah behave" wade honey I bet logan loves when you defend his place in your life.
Chapter 2.
Oooh what a good start I love how hes sitting here staring at wade because he knows him and logan is NOT having it. He knows what young pups try to do, they try to steal your mate and hes not about to let that happen.
Pfft logan really said "ah hell nah id fuck anything back then im coming too"
THEY FUCKING VAN GOUGHED ME HAS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST LINES EVER
“This is why you’re my favorite.”
Logan tried hard not to smirk at that. He failed.
That right there confirms that wade KNOWS logan is jealous already and is lowkey trying hard not to entice younger wolverine too much because he knows he's gonna kill him.
I should thank Wade then. I should thank him very thoroughly .”
Oh so youve chosen death little one?
"Gotcha you pointy little bitch!" Me at my splinters.
Aww man wade is being so careful with both of them, hes just less careful with you logan cause your younger has a collar on right now thats all.
Did you forget your wade is one of the top mercs there is? He never has NOT gotten a job done, which means handling wolvie with care you stupid old man.
Chapter 3.
Yo he already said no once. Leave it.
He finna kill you, you better start acting right.
“I said no.” There was no hint of playfulness or friendliness there. Just finality. It was enough to make Wolverine back down.
See? I told you. God you little degenerate. You need trained that no means no sheesh.
Yeah those hips are quick but they aint for you
Awwww logan got him rabbits like a good hound dog. Bro really said "man I need to impress my mate lemme go kill some innocent rabbits to eat"
Finding food and showing how reliable he could be to Wade.
“Oh Logan,” that was a new tone from Wade. Affectionate. Directed at Logan. Not at him.
Yes exactly.
Wade brought me home
He sure as fuck did. He might as well collar you with his name on it too. Big strong boy. All jealous of a little inexperienced wolvie. Psshh lets be so for real.
“I don't see a ring, asshole.”
“Don't. Fucking. Touch. Him.”
ALEXA!! PLAY SINGLE LADIES FOR THE EPIC FIGHT THATS ABOUTA HAPPENA
Suddenly, the tip of a katana pushed against Logan’s cheek.
“What did I say about fighting?” Wade panted, his white eyes glaring. There was that seriousness in his voice again. Logan rolled his eyes at him. The katana pushed into Logan’s cheek until a trail of blood came out.
tHIS IS WHAT I KEEP SAYING!! wade does NOT fuck around when it comes to jobs! He was taught and trained to ALWAYS finish the job. Hes terrifying bro I would literally kill myself if I knew this man was after me because id be afraid hed play with me and not kill me fast enough.
Both of you need to settle your shit. I can’t have you guys fucking my mission up
Exhibit B. Do NOT come between an adhd man and his dopamine and his dopamine is finishing missions and getting cash.
Ooh my poor baby though. Like seriously you need a shock collar and maybe neutered bc holy hell no is non existent to you but you just miss your own. Its a shame yours always dies. Its really not fair. But you cant just go stealing other peoples wades either. Hes limited edition baby. If him and his poolcule dont invite you you cant touchy.
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Got inspired by PrettyPonyRideToHell’s fic Hellraiser, Heartbreaker
Never knew I needed Worst Wolvie having to deal with his little shit, younger self and with Wade ofc caught in the middle 😌✨
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sparkleofpizza · 6 hours ago
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The Alchemy
Lando Norris x fem!reader
Norris and Button traveling around the world together.
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THE 2021 SEASON
PRE SEASON TESTING  Sakhir, Bahrein, 2021 
The McLaren office is silent as I scan over the list of reporters that will be present for the pre-season testing. This is my first time at a testing of Formula 1 and also my first day at the job as not an intern, but as a junior PR assistant. 
I’m nervous, again, just like I was the first day as an intern two years ago. Sophie isn’t here this week, she told me she wanted to see how I’d deal with this by myself, considering pre-season is supposed to be a bit more chill, as I only have to deal with the press and not the fans as well. 
As I finally finish jolting down the necessary notes, I get my phone and smooth down my skirt. I’m trying to appear more professional, wearing a skirt and a button down shirt. 
I walk out of McLaren and onto the eerily quiet paddock. I spot Lando talking to Daniel Ricciardo, his new teammate. The fellow brit waves me over and I smile walking to them. 
“Hey guys.” I smile, standing beside Lando who grins at me. 
Once again I have the same thought as I did earlier this week when I saw Lando for the first time since my five week vacation with my family. What the fuck. 
There was something different about him, I don’t know what it is, but he’s different. I don’t know if he changed something in his hair routine, or is trying out a new workout with his personal trainer. Or if he had an attitude change. There is something different about him, and I can’t get my heart to beat normally around him. 
The two McLaren drivers include me in their conversation and we carry on talking normally. There’s a new dynamic here, Daniel and Lando, the new duo, but they get along well and I can’t help but think that it’s because it’s humanly impossible to dislike Lando. He’s just so… Wow. 
“Mick!” I squeal in delight once I spot the new Haas driver walking side by side with Sebastian. 
Mick Shumacher smiles big once he sees me and I run to him, tackling him with a hug. He catches me with ease and spins me around before putting my feet back on the ground. 
“Oh, I’m so happy to see you here!” 
“I’m happy to see you here, as well!” He says back, matching grin on his face. 
Our eyes are wide and we look like hyperactive children. 
Sebastian sighs dramatically “Will we have to keep you both separated again?” 
Daniel smirks, piping into the conversation. 
“Again?”
Sebastian nods, looking as if he’s in pain. 
“They once set a car on fire.” 
Mick and I yell in protest. 
Daniel’s eyes are wide and Lando arches an eyebrow at me. 
“It was a plastic car.” I explain. 
“And someone who was supposed to be baby sitting us let us loose at the Red Bull garage” Mick complements. 
Daniel laughed delighted, throwing his head back and Lando cracks a small smile, which is extremely unsual of him.
“Hey, don’t put this on me.” Sebastian defends himself “She was an angel and you were an overall well behaved child. How would I know you’d corrupt her sweetness in such a short amount of time?” 
Mick grins as he shrugs “We weren’t that bad.” 
“Didn’t you call Kimi once because you two got drunk and he would be the nicest of the bunch to pick you up?” 
I smile at the memory “Yeah, we called Kimi and he took care of me and then yelled at Mick for being a bad influence.” 
Mick shudders as he recalls the night Kimi Raikonnen yelled at him as he scolded the Shumacher young boy. 
“Oh damn, the iceman went all out on you.” Daniel laughes again. 
This time Lando joins in on the laugher, but his eyes are focused on me and he has his arms crossed. 
Imola, Italy, 2021 
Lando has been a bit weird for past few weeks, ever since Bahrein, which is confusing. Pre season testing went great, the first race of the season he managed to get p4. Still, he was in a kind of bad mood. 
I’ve been watching the race intensely from the McLaren garage, once there are only four laps left, I go wait for him at parc fermé. Lando’s gonna get a podium, the first podium of the season and his second podium of his career. 
I try to keep a professional appearance as I stand at parc ferme. He parks his car at p3. He hasn’t taken off his helmet yet, but I can tell from his body language that he is buzzing with excitement. 
Lewis and Max clap him on the back and he runs to his team. I try to keep a smile at bay, I know there are lots of cameras on me right now, wanting to get the attention of the girl who only got the job because of her daddy. 
He takes off his helmet and balaclava after he weighs down and his eyes lock on me. 
Lando grins, placing his helmet at the table and takes large steps to where I am. Before I can even process he scoops me up in his arms and squishes my body. 
“I got p3.” He mumbled onto my neck. 
“You did. It was amazing.” I smile as I let him continue to squeeze me in a tight hug “Congratulations Lan.” 
“I did that.” He says, emphatically on the I. “You saw what I did, right? You were paying attention to me at the race, weren’t you?” 
I’m a bit confused at what he means by that, but nod. 
“Yes, of course, Lan.” 
“Good.” He mumbled, finally letting go of me, but his hands continued on my body “You’re here with me, Norris and Button traveling the world. No one else is part of that.” 
I nod, still not following what he means by that. Lando stares at me with those beautiful eyes and smiles. 
What is going on? 
Barcelona, Spain, 2021 
The Sainz family, as sweet and welcoming as ever, invited me and Lando to have dinner with them. It's Carlos' home race, but we all still keep our friendship up and his father loves to have us around, mostly Lando who shares his love for golf and I’m pretty sure became an honorary son to him. 
As we sit in a restaurant I take on the opportunity that Lando, who’s across from me, is engaged in a conversation with Caco, so I turn to Carlos. 
“Hey… have you also noticed that Lando has been acting a bit weird this year?” I ask him in a low tone so no one else but me, him and his girlfriend Isa can hear. 
Carlos’ tilt his head to the side a bit confused while Isa smiles fondly at me. 
“No, not really. He’s been normal.” 
Isa lightly taps his arm and they seem to have a silent conversation before Carlos turns to me again, a smile on his face and a glint in his eyes. 
“Oh, pequeñita. You haven’t noticed yet, have you?” 
“Notice what?” I question him, even more confused than before. 
“It’s because of Shumacher.” 
I frown “Mick? What does Mick have to do with Lando’s weird behavior?” 
Isa laughs softly as she leans closer to me. 
“You know what that means, he’s jealous of Mick.” 
I widened my eyes incredulously. 
“Jealous? But why?!” 
The couple share another glance before Carlos pats my head in a sweet but annoying gesture. 
I grow a bit annoyed with the fact that they won’t tell me why, but I decide to keep quiet and not say anything else. I’ll just have to figure it out on my own. 
Le Castellet, France, 2021 
Daniel flanked me through the paddock, a frown on his usual smiley face. He was pissed, I had never seen him pissed off before. 
I had arrived at the paddock with him, Lando had arrived earlier as he rode with Carlos. 
When we got out of the van there were fans waiting for Daniel and he stopped for pictures and autographs. There was a small child with their parents who gushed me over, as they had been Jenson Button’s fans. They asked for a picture and I couldn’t say no when they were so sweet. And that’s when the shit show went down. 
Some fans, overhearing our conversation, started to shout bad words at me. They called me an opportunist, said I didn’t deserve my job, they called me a whore, accused me of sleeping with the drivers so I’d keep my job. 
I was frozen in place, I didn’t know how to react. I had never been publicly hated before, it was already horrible to read those things online, but hearing them being shouted to my face, it was much much worse. 
Daniel snapped the minute he heard those words. He told the fans off, called security and took me inside the paddock and quickly to the McLaren hospitality. 
Lando was lounging on the couch when Daniel slammed the door open, he was on his feet the minute he saw our body language. 
“What happened?” He rushed over to me. When I didn’t say anything he turned to Daniel “What happened?” 
“Some fucking assholes saying fucking bullshit to her.” Daniel answered angrily. 
And it’s like things finally clicked in place and I realized what happened. The tears came out in waves. 
Lando was quick to wrap his arms around me, cradling my head on the crock of his neck. 
Daniel explained to him what the fans had been saying outside the paddock and Lando only held me tighter as I cried. 
“Come on, let’s go to my driver's room.” He mumbled once he realized some of the McLaren staff had been looking at us. “You’ll be much more comfortable there, love.” 
Still keeping me in his arms, he walked me to his driver's room, closing the door shut behind us. He guides me to the couch, sitting me in between his legs and still holding me close. 
Lando caressed my hair as he whispered reassuring words into my ear. 
“I’ll never be good enough for them.” I sob onto his neck “No matter what I do, I will never be able to prove myself. I should just give up… yeah, yeah… I’m gonna quit my job.” 
“Hey, no!” Lando says sternly. He pulls my face off his neck and cups it in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. “You’re not quitting. I’m not letting you give up, that’s not happening. Not now, not ever.” 
He wipes away my tears with his thumbs. 
“You are good enough. You’re more than good enough.” He tells me. “You have been doing an amazing job. You’re not here because of your father.” 
“But my dad helped me get this job.” I protest, still softly crying. 
“Yes, he did help you get the job and you never denied it, you’ve been vocal about getting this jump start.” He nods “But it wasn’t your dad that made you keep the job. It wasn’t your dad that made you get the promotion from intern to junior assistant. It was all you. It was your talent, your professionalism, your hard work. It was you, only you.” 
I stare at him, processing his words. 
“And those assholes that said those things to you? They are nothing but pathetic people who need to put others down to feel good about themselves. You don’t owe them anything. “ 
I nod slowly, my tears finally slowing down as he still has my face in between his hands. Lando smiles softly at me. 
“You are incredible, love, I wish you could see how amazing you are.” 
He leans in, placing a soft tender kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes, enjoining his affection. 
Lando lets go of my face, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as he leans back on the couch, making me lie on his chest. One of his hands rests on my hip, holding me close. 
I take a deep breath, snuggling against him and keeping my eyes closed. 
Silverstone, England, 2021 
“And then, he refuses to let her buy her own records!” I exclaim to Lando. “So she didn’t own her own music anymore. The music she worked her whole life on!” 
We were sitting at the McLaren hospitality together. It was way too hot outside at the Silverstone circuit so the two of us were sitting inside, where there was air conditioning, and we were having ice cream. 
“But, Taylor is really smart, and she decided to re-record her albums. So if there is a Taylor’s version after it it means she owns it. And she releases songs from the vault that are songs she wrote originally for that album but that got cut off.” 
Lando nods along to what I’m saying, a small smile on his lips. 
“And she’s releasing… purple Taylor’s version in November?” He asks me. 
I chuckle, “It’s red Taylor’s version.” 
“Oh, I see…” he hums “Why red?” 
“It’s her favorite color. Oh, I can’t wait to dress in full red on the release album date.” 
“That’s a no.” He shakes his head. 
I tilt my head to the side confused “What do you mean that’s a no?” 
“I’m not letting you dress in red! Red is Ferrari’s color and you're a McLaren girl.” 
I place a spoonful of chocolate ice cream in my mouth, letting it melt on my tongue before smiling mischievously at him. 
“Everybody is a Ferrari fan.” I tease him.
“No! No! You’re not quoting Sebastian Vettel to me!” He exclaims dramatically “I already lost my best friend to Ferrari, I can’t lose my girl too!” 
I felt the blush taking control of my cheeks when he called me his girl. 
“Not happening. Doesn’t she have a papaya album?” 
I shake my head, still a bit dazed with his words. 
“The closest she has to an orange tone is her evermore album that is more of a terracota.” 
Lando nods “That works for me, it’s better than a red themed one.” 
I giggle at him, poking his side.
“I can’t believe you’re mad over an album color theme.” 
He rolls his eyes, but he has an affectionate smile on his face. 
Magyórod, Hungry, 2021 
The knocking on the door startled me awake. I jump in bed, rubbing my eyes as I click on the screen of my phone. It’s midnight. I frown wondering who it could be at this time of night. 
I throw the blankets to the side as I pad quietly to the door. I open just a tiny bit to see who it is. 
Lando smiles big when he sees my face. I sigh in relief that it’s a familiar person, I open the door wider and there he is. Standing in a hoodie and sweatpants and holding a birthday cake. 
“Happy birthday!” He exclaims.
I widen my eyes, having completely forgotten it is my birthday. 
“Thank you, Lan!” I smile, stepping to the side to let him into the room. 
Lando walks to the table and places the cake there. I follow him close behind as I look at the beautifully decorated cake. In a cursive letter it’s written I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22! 
“Oh my god, you got me a Taylor Swift birthday cake!” 
Lando grins before wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. 
“Of course, how couldn’t I get a 22 birthday themed cake for the 22 year old girl who’s obsessed with Taylor Swift?” 
I smile as I squeeze him in the hug. 
“You’re the best of the best of the best!” I squeak happily. 
He smiles before kissing my temple.
“You only deserve the best.” 
We stayed hugging for a few more minutes, enjoying the hug before pulling away. I smile at him again, that’s all I do when I’m around him, and I grab his hand pulling him towards the bed. 
“Sleep over?” I ask softly as he sits together in the fluffy bed. 
“Yes.” He nods. 
Lando looks nervous for a moment and I get concerned I might have crossed a boundary of asking him to stay over, although it won’t be the first time we slept on the same bed. 
He sighs before putting his hand inside his hoodie pocket and pulling out a velvet box from inside of it. He smiles nervously before handing it to me. 
“Your birthday present.” He mumbled 
I gasp as I open the box. Inside of it there’s a beautiful gold necklace, the pendant is a heart with its outside full of tiny pink swarovskis. I take the delicate jewelry in my hands as I turn it around, on the back of the heart it’s written LN. 
“Lando…” I murmur 
“I-I wanted to have my… my initials on it so you ’d… so you’d always have me close to you.” He mumbled awkardly, his cheeks pink.
“It’s beautiful.” I smile “I love it. Thank you.” 
I turn back to him and pull my hair to the side “Can you put it on me, please?”
“Y-yeah.” 
Lando’s hands are a bit shaky as he places the necklace around my neck, his fingertips bringing goosebumps to my skin. 
I turn around again and his eyes fall to my neck and chest, where the heart necklace he gave me rests. He smiles proudly. 
“It looks beautiful on you.” He said, lifting his eyes to look at me “You’re beautiful.” 
I smile, leaning over and placing a kiss on his cheek. 
“Thank you, Lan. I’m never taking this off.” 
He grins harder, leaning over and placing a kiss on my cheek as well. 
SUMMER BREAK 
Mallorca, Spain, 2021 
“Retirement huh?” I ask Kimi Raikkonen as we’re enjoining the beach in Mallorca 
It’s not usual for the Raikkonen family to join us during summer break, along with the Rosbergs and Vettels. Lewis used to come along with Roscoe but since his fallout with Nico he never joined us again - even after when I was seventeen and I called him crying asking him to join us because my dad was retiring and we should all spend one last summer together. He came, after Nico left. Those dramatic middle aged men. 
Kimi gives me a lazy smile, which also isn’t usual contrary to popular belief. He has his sunglasses on and is building a sandcastle with me and his two children, Robin and Rianna. 
“Eh, racing is a hobby and I got tired of it.” He shrugs “Now I’m more into dirty bike riding.” 
I chuckle, shaking my head “Somehow that sounds even worse than driving cars in circles.” 
Robin gives me a bright smile as he says “Don’ wowwy, I race car soon in Formula 1 and you cheer I!” 
I smile at him, ruffling his blonde hair “Of course, Rob! I wouldn’t dare to cheer for anyone else but you!” 
The little boy seems content as he goes back to building the sandcastle. Rianna actually grew bored of it a few minutes ago and is now busy with playing, tugging, at my hair. 
“Who’s he?” Kimi asks suddenly. 
“What?” I frown confused. 
“The boy who gave you the necklace.” 
“Oh.” I feel my cheeks warm up, truth to my words I have indeed been wearing the necklace Lando gave me all the time. “Lando gave me as a birthday gift.” 
I can see the furrow on Kimi’s eyebrows even if he’s wearing sunglasses. 
“That thing made a move on you?!” He exclaims “I’m running him off track when we’re back from summer break.” 
“What? No!” I shake my head “It’s just a necklace.” 
“A custom heart shaped necklace! It’s like he has a death wish or something.” He whips his head to the side “Sebastian! Come here! Now!” 
Seb, who was peacefully napping under the umbrella, sits startled at Kimi’s urgent call. He runs to us. 
“Norris made a move on her!” 
“What?” Sebastian asks scandalized “He did what? That little asshole!” 
“He didn’t do anything, Seb.” I explain as I point to my necklace “Kimi is just freaking out over the birthday gift Lando gave me.” 
Seb sits on the sand beside me, leaning closer to scan the necklace. 
“Yeah, I’m running him off track when the summer break is over.” 
“That’s what I said!” Kimi smiles big “We’re running him off track together so he doesn’t have anywhere to escape to.” 
Seb hums, nodding his head “That’s a good plan.” 
I look at them in exasperation “No one is running anyone off track.” 
They ignore me as they keep plotting. 
“Hey!” I snap at them and the two grown men finally look at me “Lando and I are just friends, stop this. And even if we weren’t, I’m 22, I’m allowed to date.” 
They share a look before laughing. 
“No, you’re not allowed to date.” Seb says, still chuckling “You’re funny, prinzessin.” 
I glare at them but they only continue to laugh at me. 
“You’re still the first pieni vauva, you always will be.” Kimi grins at me “And that means you’re only allowed to date when you’re… fifty.” 
“You’re both ridiculous.” I scoff but I have a small smile on my lips. 
Deep down I know they don’t actually mean it. But I have to keep an eye out so that they won’t threaten Lando or something like that. 
Monza, Italy, 2021 
“You’re here!” Lando yelled over the loud music, arms open wide and a drink in his hand. He was for sure already drunk. 
Daniel had won the Monza Grand Prix and Lando came just in second, it was the first time in his F1 career he had gotten p2. The team had decided to go out to celebrate at a club and some other drivers joined in - Max Verstappen, who had a terrible race and dnf, was there drinking the night away to celebrate his best friend and also drown his feelings. 
I stepped up to where Lando stood and smiled at him. 
“Yeah, sorry it took me too long.” I let him hug me “I couldn’t decide what to wear.” 
Lando grabbed my hand, twirling me around and whistling as my sparkly short blue dress shone under the club lights. 
“You certainly made a great choice.” He smirked at me “You look incredible.” 
I feel my cheeks grow warm. 
“Thank you.” 
I went over to the bar to order myself a drink and Lando followed me close behind. As I stood leaning over the bar to order my drink, I could feel his warm chest against my back. 
I stood up straight as I waited for the bartender, and I tilted my head to the side to look at Lando who was already looking down on me. 
He's wearing a simple white shirt and jeans, but he’s wearing his damn cap backwards. He always looks fucking good when he wears it backwards and it actually makes me weak in the knees seeing him so up close like this, his chest pressed against my back.
I’m snapped out of it when the bartender hands me my drink. I thank him before letting Lando lead me back to where the rest of our group is. I sip on my drink, letting the alcohol flow through me and relax me. 
Carlos is dancing with Charles while Max laughs at their terrible moves. Daniel is screaming the music as he hugs Zac and they both sway side to side. 
I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous they look. 
Lando grins at me as he’s sitting on a stool, his left arm resting on top of the table. 
“Come here.” He says as he wiggles two of his fingers for me to get closer. 
When I’m at reach distance, he turns me around and pulls me to stand in between his legs. My back hits his chest and he wraps an arm around my waist, keeping me close. 
My breath hitches as he does this so effortlessly and as if it’s normal to hug me from behind. 
“They’re gonna be all over Instagram and Twitter tomorrow.” Lando whispers in my ear “They look ridiculous.” 
I chuckle “They really do.” I sip my drink “Aren’t you gonna join them?” 
I feel his laugh against the side of my face. 
“Are you calling me ridiculous?” He asks in feign hurt. 
I giggle, craning my neck a bit to the side so I can see his face. He has a smug smile on his lips. 
“You ridiculous? Never!” I giggle harder when he squeezes my waist in a playful warning “It’s just that usually you’re the life of the party and right now you’re sitting on a stool drinking peacefully.” 
Lando smiles, his dimples even more evident as the pulsing lights of the club shine on his face. 
“Can you blame me for wanting to stay here with the prettiest girl in the club?” 
Once again I feel my cheeks grow warm, but since I’ve already had drunk, my mind is a bit dazed so I smile at him. 
“Really? And where is this pretty girl?” I ask him in a tease. 
He smirks, squeezing my waist again and relishing in me squirming against his chest. 
“She’s right here… in my arms.” He mumbled before placing a long lasting kiss on my cheek. “The prettiest girl in the club.” He moves his lips a bit down and kisses my jaw “The prettiest girl I have ever seen.” 
I feel my heart flutter in my chest at his words and at his touch. I know he’s drunk and doesn’t mean any of it, but for a night I can pretend he does mean it, so I let him hold me close. 
Cidade do México, México, 2021 
“Oh, Mick…” I whisper as I hug him, softly rubbing his back “It’s okay… this kind of thing happens.” 
Mick huffs annoyed against my shoulder. He crashed into Yuki Tsnuoda during the race today and they both had a DNF. 
“You’re both rookies… that’s normal to happen.” 
I apparently said the wrong thing because the German boy lifted his head from my shoulder, our face millimeters apart as he glared at me. 
“Don’t say things that aren’t true.” He mumbled angrily “You’re not even a driver.” 
I narrowed my eyes at him “There’s no need to take out your frustration on me, I’m not the one who crashed your car.” 
We keep staring at each other, waiting for the other to back down. Eventually Mick sighs and goes back to burying his head on my shoulder as he continues to complain about it being unfair. 
I don’t say anything, knowing that if I do we will end up having a fight, just like it happened when we were younger and he crashed into Formula 3 - he kept whining about the crash that had been his own fault and I called him out on it. We didn’t speak for three weeks. 
“There you are!” Lando’s voice cut through the silence of one of the cool down rooms of the paddock. 
He gave Mick an unimpressed look and a glare. 
“Hi, Lan.” I smile at him. 
Ever since our little encounter at the club right after the Monza Grand Prix things between us have been different. He certainly kept touching me every chance he got and I wasn’t going to complain about it when in reality I loved to be wrapped in his arms. 
“I need you for something.” He said, and I tilt my head confused as I was off the clock “It’s important. Please.” 
“Sure.” I nod as Mick lifts his head from my shoulder and away from me “Take care, Mick.” 
The Shumacher boy looks at me with a slight pout of being deprived of comfort after his DNF, but didn’t say anything as Lando grabbed my hand and got me out of the cooldown room. 
We walked in silence for a moment before we entered the paddock’ parking garage. Lando opened the back door of the van and helped me up inside before sitting beside me and taping the driver on the shoulder to signal we’re ready to go. 
“So… burritos?” He asked. 
“What?” I blink at him 
“Do you want burritos for dinner? And some tacos? And nachos?” 
“I… you…” I’m at a loss of words for a moment as I catch up to what he’s done “You called me here to help you because you want dinner?” 
Lando nods, a sly smile on his face as he shifts his body on the back seat to take a better look at me. 
“Yes, I’m hungry. That’s why I need your help, to have dinner with me.” 
I can’t help but laugh at his audacity and then a memory comes up to my brain. Back in Spain, at the beginning of the season when I asked Carlos about Lando acting weird and Isa told me he was jealous. Jealous of Mick. 
“Why don’t you like Mick?” I ask, catching him off guard. 
Lando is momentarily stunned before he shakes his head. 
“I do not not like him.” 
“Yes, you do.” I say, a slight frown on my forehead “Whenever I’m with him you’re either glaring, snappy or you find excuses to drag me away.” 
He avoids my eyes for a moment, looking at the rooftop of the car before finally looking at me again. 
“It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s just that…” he trails off and is quiet again for a moment before he grumbles “He hogs all your attention.” 
“Oh God, he’s my childhood friend and I don’t even spend that much of a time with him.” 
“Do you like him?” He asks me. 
I look at him stunned “What?” 
Lando rolls his eyes “Do you like Shumacher? Like, do you have a crush on him or something?” 
“No. He’s my childhood friend.” I repeat my words from earlier. “Why?”
He shrugs and won’t look at me. 
I huff “Don’t do this, Lando.” 
He looks at me from the corner of his eyes “Don’t do what?” 
“You know very well what I’m talking about.” I cross my arms over my chest. 
He doesn’t say anything and neither do I. We both look at the opposite windows of the car, watching as Mexico City passes by in a blur. 
Doha, Qatar, 2021 
Lando and I weren’t talking. Well, mostly he wasn’t talking to me after Mexico. During the Brazilian Grand Prix and his 22nd birthday, I snuck into his hotel room and left this gift there. 
It was a small golden bracelet, it had his full name and race number on it. I left a sweet message alongside it, hoping he would get the hint of what I meant. I guess he did get the hint and didn’t like it because I woke up after the Brazilian Grand Prix to see Instagram and Twitter flooded with pictures of him making out with some girl at a club in São Paulo. 
And now I was the one not talking to him because he has been texting me and calling me non stop on the two week break in between races. 
I asked Sophie to take care of this scandal of him as I had never dealt something like that before and didn’t know where to start, so I just stayed on the sidelines watching her do her job and learning - in all honesty I just didn’t want to have to deal with him after seeing him kiss some random girl. 
I was heartbroken and I didn’t want to let anyone know about it because if Kimi or Seb caught wind of this… I might be sad, but I’d like to keep Lando alive. 
“Stop looking so sad…” Daniel pokes my arm “Those big sad eyes of yours… I can’t handle it.” 
We were sitting together as we were waiting for the press conference to begin. 
“I’m not sad.” I lied, “I’m just tired.” 
“C’mon!” He all but whines “We’ve been working together for almost a year now, I know you’re lying.” 
I don’t say anything so Daniel keeps talking “He’s sad too, you know.” 
I give him a side eyed glance as I mumble “I don’t know who is this he you’re referring to.” 
He sighs exasperated. 
“You should talk to him.” He says after a few minutes of silence “Lando misses you.” 
“No. I got his message loud and clear.” I shake my head, feeling the stupid tears gather in my eyes once again “I don’t need him to say it to my face. From now on we’re just… work colleagues.” 
“But you’re not just work colleagues, you’re way more than that and you know it. Also, you both are dumb asses who got this all wrong.” 
I turn to look at Daniel, the stubborn tears ready to spill out onto my cheeks. 
“How did I get it wrong, Daniel? I wrote him a note basically saying he’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life and that he meant so much more to me than just a friendship that blossomed because of work.” I say wobbly as I refused to let the tears roll down from my eyes “And he went out and kissed someone else. Things have never been more clear to me. I was just a fool and stupid.” 
Daniel says my name softly, but I shake my head. 
“The press conference is about to start, get in the room. I’ll be waiting for you here.” 
The Australian man sighs before nodding and following my instructions. He gives me one more look over the shoulder and I hate how he seems to pity me right now. 
Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, 2021 
I didn’t go to the anual Abu Dhabi McLaren end of season party. Instead I went out to dinner with the Raikkonen family. 
Tonight has been Kimi’s last race of his Formula 1 career and I wanted to be there with him for his last night. I’ve known him my whole life, I was the flower girl at his wedding and I had been the first baby in his life. Right now being with family seems better. I need this. 
I decided not to be secretive about my motives of not being at the McLaren party as I posted a picture hugging Kimi on Instagram. 
Old man retired. Now that you’re out of f1 I can finally say it: you’ve always been my favorite. Love you Setä Kimi 🥺💙
After dinner, Sebastian drove me back to the hotel. He had been quiet most of the night and I can tell he is sad. All of his friends have retired, now it’s just him, Lewis and Fernando who have decided to come back. 
Once we’re out of the car and entering the elevator I turn to him. 
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to leave as well.” I whisper. 
He chuckles softly “I can’t say I’m not considering it. I’m getting old.” 
“No, you’re not old.” I shake my head. “You’re not even forty yet!” 
“But I’m not at my prime anymore. I only got one podium this year.” 
“That doesn’t mean anything.” I argued back. “You switched teams, you’re still getting used to the car! You can’t leave!” 
Suddenly it was like it had all hit me at once, the changes of it all. Kimi was leaving, he isn’t coming back next year. I’m not talking to Lando, who has been by my side since I started this job. And now Seb wants to leave as well. 
“Hey, prinzessin, no, please don’t cry.” 
I didn’t even notice the tears falling down my face as Sebastian hugged me tight. He caressed my hair in a soothing manner, like he used to do when I was a child. 
We were standing in the middle of the hallway of the hotel. He rocked me gently in his arms, shushing me. 
When I finally calmed down, Sebastian spoke again, his voice gentle. 
“You need to talk to Lando.” 
Before I could protest he continued to talk. “I know you’re not only crying because Kimi is leaving and I’m considering retirement. You need to talk to help, fix things between you two before it’s too late.” 
“There’s nothing to fix…” I whisper sadly “He… I… I really like him, Seb. But he doesn’t feel the same way.” 
“You’re kidding right?” He chuckled amused “That boy is head over heels for you.” 
I open my mouth, but once again he cuts me off “I know what he did. He told me.” 
“He… told you?” I question with a frown “And you’re still telling me to go talk to him?” 
Sebastian nodded “Yes. He was desperate, he misses you so much and doesn’t know what to do anymore to get you to talk to him. He’s… hopeless, but he likes you too.” 
When Sebastian left me in my hotel room, tucked into bed warm and safe with a kiss on the forehead, I kept replaying his words in my mind. 
Lando likes me. That sounds weird. But I also know Sebastian would never ever lie to me about something like that. 
I text Daniel asking him if Lando has already left the party. Daniel answers me with a yes in big bold letters and lots of exclamation marks. 
I pace back and forth in my hotel room before slipping on my shoes. I open the mini fridge and get to mini liquor bottles. I dart out of my room and soon enough I’m standing in front of Lando’s room. 
I take a deep breath before I knock on the door. 
There are a few moments of silence, I can hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears. I hear the lock turn and soon enough Lando is standing in front of me. His green eyes are rimmed red and he looks like he has been crying. 
He whispers my name, a slight tone of disbelief. 
“We didn’t toast to another year of Norris and Button traveling the world together.” I say. 
We stare at each other before he smiles and ushers me inside. 
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episodes-ff · 3 days ago
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Grateful Days
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Armando
Sitting in my bed, I moped and grimaced at how shitty everything has turned over the past few days. I’m still truly upset about the failed proposal, but more than anything I’m upset with myself for how I handled it. After sobering up, it finally sank in how royally I messed up things. Staring at my phone as I waited for the possibility of her call, I sighed realizing that it was me who should be doing the apologizing. I don’t even know how I could allow myself to say such hurtful things to my heart like that. Shaking my head as I remembered the words, I decided it was high time I be the bigger person and go win my woman back.
Taking a nice hot shower, I collected my thoughts and feelings and came up with a genuine approach of apology. Stepping out, I quickly dried off and began dressing as the panicked nerves set in at the possibility of losing her forever. Pulling on my pants, I stressed looking for a decent shirt before settling on a grey long sleeve and placing on my chain. Making sure I looked presentable and smelled good for her, I started searching for my keys as more hope rose within me. Still looking for my keys, I heard a knock at the front door. “Mike, will you drop it? I already told you I’m fi-“ “Hi.” She spoke not making eye contact as she twiddled her fingers. “Hey, um come in, come in!” I rushed allowing her entry as I straightened up some loose clothes. Taking a seat on the couch, I sat next to her and as she waited awkwardly to speak. “I need to tell you something.” “No, me first.” I insisted taking her hands into mine.
“Diamonté, I am so deeply sorry for what I said to you that night. It replays over and over again and it makes me sick to my stomach that I even uttered something so hurtful to you. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I barely deserve to be in your presence right now, but trust me when I say I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I truly regret the decision I made and if you don’t ever want to see me again, I’ll have to find a way to live with it. I just wanted to express that.” I recited as she sat looking down at our hands. Watching her knee bounce nervously, she burst into tears as I hugged her in concern. “Shit, I’m sorry, Dee, I didn’t mean to make you cry, bebita.” I hushed rocking her back and forth in my arms. Sniffling, she wiped her eyes before pulling back to look at me. “Armando, I’m pregnant.” She panted breathlessly as her tears continued to fall.
“You are?” I murmured happily as I took hold of her chin. Nodding, she wiped more of her tears. “I was supposed to tell you that night but when you proposed I got so nervous that I threw up. That’s why I ran off. I meant what I said about my answer being yes.” Holding her cheek in my hand, I smiled kissing her forehead as I started to cry. “You forgive me for being an idiot?” “Yes, you forgive me for not speaking up?” “Of course, baby, come here.” Meeting my lips, we shared a longing and meaningful kiss as I embraced her and rubbed her back. “How far along is the baby?” “I’m not sure yet. The first appointment is in a week.” “Are you excited?” I asked earning her sweet laugh. “Yes, I want a little girl.” She smiled as I coasted my hand across her stomach. “I do too.” I simpered before leaning down to kiss her lips again. “One more question.” I asked nervously. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Armando.” She smirked as I chuckled and went to grab the ring. “Good because you had me waiting long enough to put this on your finger.” I joked as I slid it in place on her left hand. Standing up, she hugged me tightly and kissed me once more making my heart skip a beat. “Now my turn to ask.” “Sí, mi vida?” “Can you please come back home so your son can stop asking where you are?” She huffed as I laughed nodding. “Of course, my baby.”
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Terry
“Baby, get up! You’re too heavy for all this!” Anaya whined as I ignored her requests and got more comfortable on top of her. Today is one of my first full days off and I’m taking all the advantage I can get. Baby girl is fed and sound asleep in her crib, the bills are all paid, I’m not on call, and it’s not my night to cook. Yeaaaa, I’m gonna enjoy this. Or at least I had hoped I would. “Terry, get up or so help me God, imma smack you.” “You wouldn’t dare, Anaya.” I groaned deeply as I started to doze off in the soft pillows of her breasts. Feeling a hard sting to the back of my head, I shot her a deadly glare as she cackled. “Don’t give me that look, I told your heavy ass to move. Now get up so I can pee.” She fussed like a proud mama before getting up and twisting hard to the bathroom causing me to laugh. “Stop doing that stank ass walk.” “You love it though.” She countered from the commode as I shook my head.
Shutting my eyes once more, I felt the sweet and supple warmth of sleep taking over my body before being rudely interrupted by Anaya’s antics. “Baeeeee.” She whined grinding on me as I groaned. “Anayaaaa, I’m tryna sleep. Damnnnn.” “Fine, if you don’t love me just say that.” She spat moving to the other side of the bed. Clenching my jaw, I yanked her over to me by her nightgown and hovered over her face. Leaning down to her ear, I caressed her cheek with my hand before gently wrapping it around her throat. “Anaya, this the last time imma say it. I’m trying to get my rest and all this moving around and shit finna piss me the fuck off. I’m asking as nicely as possible, baby, just take a nap with me. Please?” Nodding slowly, I sighed before releasing her neck and cuddling back up to her chest while closing my eyes. “Put me to sleep, Daddy.” She purred softly rubbing my scalp as my eyes shot open.
** HOURS LATER**
“Ouuu, baby, let’s get these! I think they’d go nice with the room.” Nodding groggily, I followed aimlessly as she pointed out different items decorate the house. After putting Anaya to “sleep”, we napped for a good 45 minutes before she got hit with the home decor bug and she insisted that we needed to get supplies to finish the house. We are now three stores deep with no sign of retreat, and Daddy and baby Maya are completely over the experience. “Bae, you’re not even looking!” “Anaya, we have more than enough time to finish the house. Why can’t we just chill today?” Giving me the death glare, I smacked my teeth following her with the cart as she continued to shop. Turning into an aisle, I realized I forgot to grab water for the house and tried excusing myself to go and grab it. “Bae, I gotta grab water, you and Maya gone be okay for a few minutes?” “Yea, baby we’re fine.” “Aight, keep your phone close in case.” Nodding, she kissed me goodbye and I made my way to my destination.
Grabbing what I needed, I headed back to our original aisle before halting as I heard a guy. Peeking around to where they were, I noticed an older man standing too close as Anaya frowned up in anger holding Maya to her chest. “Look I’m not gonna tell you again to back the fuck up.” “We got a problem?” “Nah, young buck, I was just-“ “I believe I was asking her.” “No, it’s fine. He was just leaving.” She said putting Maya in the cart as he huffed in disapproval. “Will you just hear me out?” He asked grabbing her arm when I lost it. Setting the water down, I yanked him off his feet before holding him up to the shelving of the aisles. “Nah, motherfucka, you hear me out!” I seethed as Anaya cried for me to stop. “If you ever set foot near my wife and child again, I fucking promise you it’ll be the last thing you do!” I spat as my blood boiling more and more just thinking about this clown touching my lady.
“Terry, stop! Please! Just put him down.” She pleaded as I glared him down icily. “Gimme one good reason I shouldn’t fuck yo shit up right here.” “She’s my daughter.” He heaved out as I looked at her for confirmation. “He’s my dad, Terry. Just put him down.” Setting him down slowly, I faced her as she rubbed my arms and calmed my anger. “Explain, Anaya.” “He skipped out when I was two years old and it’s been just my mom and I ever since. Apparently he’s been living here in Miami so this run-in was not at all anticipated.” Nodding as I absorbed her words, I further calmed down as we exited the aisle, checked out, and went home. Relaxing day my ass.
Thank y’all for being so patient with me! The scene with Anaya and Terry was inspired by this video so I hope y’all enjoy.
Tags (Based on interactions, if you’d like to be added or removed let me know): @violetmuses @believeinthefireflies95 @brisunique @kaylaahisthebestest- @madxlov3 @armandosbabymama @casualsludgeshoetoad @mauvecherie-writes @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @theereina @kumkaniudaku @geneziesm @megamindsecretlair @simpledopeme @goldenjasssy @vivaalenaa @playgurlxoxo @ghettogirly @luuvprincess @perfectlyimperfectme @tbmotw @comfortzonequeen @melanin-honeyy @strawberrymoon45 @luckygirlszn @kindofaintrovert
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backfliips · 5 months ago
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I'm frustrating myself because I know the only way I am going to meet new people and open myself up to romantic possibilities is by getting out of my comfort zone and going to new public spaces and interacting with new people, but I'm so entrenched in my own routine that the idea of going out and doing those things is so incredibly stressful and I sort of shut down
And it's particularly frustrating because I know the only reason I'm so averse to it is because I haven't done it before, and new experiences are really scary, and I will put them off for years just to do it eventually and realize its NOT a big deal in the SLIGHTEST, and that it's fine, actually, and that I LIKE doing the thing, and there was no reason for me to be so stressed in the first place etc. etc. etc.
So I just need to go on my first real date, and I need to suck it up, but it's really daunting and frustrating and I can't seem to figure out how to get out of my doom spiral about it.
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nuclearanomaly · 1 year ago
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I'm glad you're here with me At the end of all things...
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suddenrundown · 25 days ago
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currently repeating "you are under no obligation to be good at the things you do for fun" to myself over and over
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hella1975 · 1 year ago
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sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you
#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often#bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off'#but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting#bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her#like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around#like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life#but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met#and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM#like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him#but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years#& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite#he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs#he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house#he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent#or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one'#and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company#i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon#and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it#bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people#who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight#i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now#why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough#hella goes home#my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag
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lilyimmsim · 7 months ago
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why can’t my parents admit that me having adhd will affect the way i learn + do in school. this isn’t to say i can’t do well, but it seems like any time i struggle, they root it down to something else - never the fact that i am forgetful and impulsive simply due to me. it feels as though they expect such big things from me, forgetting that i may struggle, and probably won’t be able to achieve them; i’ll only disappoint us both in the long run 
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kavehater · 3 months ago
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Alhaitham and I’s dynamic is one sided academic rivalry you can’t convince me otherwise
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imaginedisish · 3 months ago
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Anything (Logan Howlett x fem!Reader)
A/N: Something is seriously wrong with me...I cannot stop writing for this man. Started this one last night after hearing him say "princess" in "The Wolverine" (2013). This is another nightmare fic, but I promise it's different! Heavily inspired by "anything" by Adrianne Lenker. Hope you guys enjoy!
Summary: Your summer affair with Logan is, in fact, not just a summer affair.
Warnings: 18+ SMUT!! MINORS DNI!!! Unprotected PIV (wrap it up!), (some?)fingering, cockwarming, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, nightmares, fem!reader/afab!reader, canon-typical violence, mutant!reader (unspecified abilities), feelings, angst, cursing, probably grammatical errors, I think that's it!
Word Count: 3,213 short for me
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It started one summer night—under the stars. You had slipped out the window of your room in the mansion. You were sitting with your legs crossed, perched precariously on the old, shingled roof. You never got much sleep—you simply couldn’t—even though you knew the mansion was safe. Staying awake remained a solace, a comfort. It meant fewer nightmares; it meant you couldn’t be haunted by the hurt of your past.
Staring up at the stars beat staring up at your ceiling, and so you had made it a habit to crawl out of your window and sit on the roof. 
Until that one summer night, when Logan found you out there.
He shoved open his window and stuck his head outside. “What the fuck are you doing out here?” You smiled, turning your head to face him. You shrugged your shoulders, giggling at the concern on his face. He mocked you, shrugging his own shoulders in imitation. 
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide your smile and the way he made you laugh. You and Logan had been growing closer, spending more time together. He was looking out for you—constantly and protectively. It made you feel good knowing that someone cared so deeply. 
“Why don’t you come over here?” You called over to him, patting the spot next to you. He shook his head and ducked back inside. You quickly assumed he didn’t feel like being with you, your heart sinking down into your stomach. You wanted him to come out, to sit with you. Maybe you could’ve—
But then there he was, pushing the window as far open as it could possibly go, struggling to climb out. It wasn’t too much of a scuffle over to you, your rooms being right next to one another, but he made a big deal of the trek nonetheless. He huffed for dramatic effect as he sat down next to you. 
“This is so incredibly dangerous,” he had said, sarcasm heavy in his voice. 
You gasped. “Logan Howlett cares about safety?” You clasped your hand over your mouth for flare. “My safety?” 
He smiled, but there was something serious in his face. “I do, actually.” You tried not to notice as he inched closer to you, your shoulders brushing together. “What are you doing out here, princess?” He asked again. 
You smirked at the familiar nickname. “I don’t really like sleeping,” you muttered. 
Logan nodded. He understood better than anyone else. “I know…” He trailed off, looking up at the sky. “But why sit out here?”
“It’s quiet,” you whispered. “And it’s beautiful. Better than being in there, just sitting in bed.” 
He nodded again. “It is beautiful.” You turned your head back to Logan as he spoke. He wasn’t looking at the sky anymore. He was looking at you. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “Did you have a dream tonight?”
You shook your head from side to side. “Didn’t give myself the chance to yet, and I don’t plan on doing so.” You sighed, looking down at your legs, still crossed like a pretzel in front of you. “Wish we didn’t have to deal with this, you know?”  
Logan slowly brought his arm around your shoulder, as if he was waiting for you to shove him away. He had touched you before, but not quite like this. It was always in passing—always short and fleeting. But this? This was intentional. You leaned into his touch and let your head fall to his shoulder. “You don’t have to deal with it alone,” he offered, his lips faintly brushing at your temple. 
You tilted up to look at him, his face inches away from yours. He pulled you in closer, his breath fanning across your cheek. “You’re not alone,” he repeated. 
And then his lips were on yours. You kissed on the roof. You let him tug you into his window, into his bed. He tasted you that night. You spread your legs and let him inside. And then you slept. You slept without waking up in a cold sweat. You slept without reliving your past. And for the first time in a long time, so did he. 
And now it's become a habit. He opens his window for you, and you climb across the roof and inside. Every night. You haven’t slept alone since the beginning of the summer, and it’s August now. There’s no label on whatever it is you two are. But you know it’s serious—the way he asks every night if you can stay, even though he knows you’ve already made up your mind and that you aren’t going anywhere. 
But tonight is different. Logan was sent on a day trip with some of the students, while you were tasked with staying at the school to run through training exercises. It’s the end of the day now—10 PM. You’re exhausted as you let your back crash down on the mattress. 
Thanks to Logan, your body has become accustomed to sleeping. You can feel it calling you, feel your tiredness creeping in at the corner of your eyes. You try to fight the feeling, but it’s no use. Your eyes flutter open and closed, resisting until you can’t anymore, and you fall asleep. 
There’s a piercing ringing in your ears. Your chest is heaving violently. You’re strapped down to a chair, a needle inches away from your forearm. Maybe it’s Stryker. Maybe it’s some other mutant hunter or government agent ready to do their worst. You thrash around in the chair, yanking at the restraints to no avail.
You choke out a sob, throwing your head back in agony. Logan is all you can think about. What if he’s in danger? What if you never see him again? What if this is it?
Just as the needle breaks skin, the piercing ringing starts up again, and everything goes black. 
You force yourself to sit up, cold sweat drenching every inch and curve of your body. You look over to the clock on your nightstand: 12:37 AM. You had only been asleep for two hours. You shut your eyes, letting your head bump into the headboard behind you. You take deep, slow breaths, trying to lower your heart rate, silently reminding yourself that it was all just a dream. 
You’re not exactly sure what brought the nightmare on, but you know you aren’t going back to sleep. You crawl out of bed and into the darkness of your room, carefully walking to your window and shoving it as far open as it can possibly go. You climb out and sit on the still-hot roof to look at the stars. 
The twinkling balls of heat shine above you. It hits you then that even stars must die. They have all that energy, all that beauty, and then they burn out. You swallow at the thought, tears burning behind your sinuses. 
You don’t want to look over at Logan’s room—don’t want to see the window closed. The trip was to some aquarium down the shore in Jersey. You know he’s likely not home yet, and for the first time since all of this started, you’re worried about bothering him. You don’t want to force him to deal with your—
And then you finally see it. His window is open, the curtains billowing around inside. You let out a tight breath you didn’t know you were holding, your shoulders going slack at the thought of crawling into his bed. 
You scale the roof carefully, bending down as you climb inside his room. You get tangled up in the curtains, and you shove them aside to reveal Logan in his bed, eyes shut. You swallow harshly at the sight—his chest bare and his hair a mess. Sometimes you’ll stay up and watch him sleep, just to see this, just to know what he looks like when it's late and no one else is around. 
But then he’s twitching. He grunts, his chest heaving rapidly. You sprint across the room to his side, practically tripping over nothing in the rush of it all. He’s fisting the sheets, mumbling nonsense, violently turning left and right. You can see the pain in the tightness of his jaw, in the way his muscles flex. Your heart drops deep into the pit of your stomach. 
“Logan,” you call out, bringing a hand to his shoulder. You know he’s sensitive—know he can bring the claws out at any second—so you take care with your movements. “Logan,” you call again, louder this time. You grip his shoulder harder, shaking him, trying to force him out of the nightmare. 
You think you hear your name slip from his lips. “I’m right here,” you soothe, bringing your other hand to his abdomen, rubbing softly as you continue to shake his shoulder. He’s a sweating mess, his body cold and hot at the same time. You want to take his pain away, to make all of this better. “Come on,” you beg. “Wake up.”
And then he’s sitting up, his eyes open wide. You step back, giving him the space he needs as he comes to. His claws shoot out, ready to strike. He turns his head, his eyes frantically searching the room until he finds you. 
He quickly retracts his claws, and you watch as his shoulders relax. His chest still rises and falls rapidly with every breath he takes. 
“Logan,” you whisper, stepping closer to him again. “Are you—” 
He cuts you off, pawing at you, grabbing your sides, and pulling you into his bed. He’s on top of you in an instant, caging you in, his throat bobbing as he swallows harshly. 
“Can you stay?” It’s a ritual, the way he asks. He knows your answer—always does. But he asks anyway. You know he wants to hear it from your lips, wants to know that you want this, too. 
Your heart clenches in your chest. “Yes,” you sigh as one of his hands comes to rest underneath your shirt, climbing slowly up your stomach. “But Logan—”
He swallows your protests with a kiss, and you moan into his mouth. It’s hurried, rushed, like he’ll die if he can't have you right away. “Don’t wanna talk about it. Need you now. Talk after,” he mumbles against your lips, kissing you again before you can say a word. 
You understood—you needed him too. Needed to feel him inside you, under your skin, everywhere. 
His hand slinks up to your bare chest; you had forgotten you weren’t wearing a bra, just one of Logan’s old t-shirts and your panties. His touch is rough; needy. He squeezes your tits, his fingertips brushing your nipples, drawing tight circles. You moan his name, already squirming underneath him. 
Logan’s erection grinds against your core. He’s just wearing his boxers—nothing else—but it’s still too much. You need him bare before you, deep inside you. You lift your hips up to meet his, your arms wrapping around his back to pull him closer.
He takes the hint, his hand gliding back down your body to the hem of your panties. He reaches down farther, teasing your folds through the fabric. “Fuck, so fucking wet already,” he mumbles, slipping your panties to the side so that he can feel you. You shudder under his touch, his fingers spreading your slickness up to your clit. He strokes teasingly, the ache between your thighs growing with every flick and circle. 
It feels like heaven, but you need him closer. “Logan,” you whimper, fisting the sheets underneath you. “Want you, please.” It’s a desperate prayer and not just a request. 
Logan suddenly pulls his hand away and you whine at the loss of contact. “I know, sweetheart,” he soothes reassuringly, sitting up and pushing his boxers down. You’ll never get tired of the sight of his cock springing free against his stomach. His hands are back on your hips in an instant, squeezing lightly before hooking his fingers under the waistband of your panties and yanking them down. 
He's back on top of you, lowering down onto one forearm as his other hand pulls your shirt above your tits. “Wanna see you, pretty girl,” he groans, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple before his forehead meets yours.
His hand comes down to the base of his cock, guiding his tip to your entrance, to where you need him most. His chest heaves in time with yours, your nipples brushing against him. He stays there for a moment, not moving. His eyes search your face, as if to confirm you’re real—that you’re truly here with him. You can see the need in his eyes. It’s not lust anymore—not just about sex. It’s never been about that. 
It has always meant more. 
Logan suddenly thrusts into you, bottoming out down to the hilt, stretching you open. You can feel him throb inside you. He groans at your ear. “So goddamn tight.” He doesn’t pull back out, his hips still, his cock buried deep inside you. You need him to move, need to feel his cock rub against your walls. You try to grind down on him, but he doesn’t let you. His hand latches onto your hip, keeping you in place. 
“Lo,” you whine. 
“Love when you call me that, sweetheart,” he growls, his hips still stuck in place. “Just wanna feel you like this for a minute. Don’t move.” 
It’s all too much. You need more, need him to fuck into you. Logan frees his hold on your hip, his hand trailing down between your bodies. He finds your clit, drawing achingly slow circles there. It’s nowhere near enough, but the temporary relief feels so good. 
“Always want you this close,” he murmurs, his hips finally starting to move, slowly but surely. You arch your back at the feeling. “Feels so good, so fucking good.” 
He’s taking his time, committing how you feel around his cock to his memory. He’s filling you up, taking in every inch you have to give him. You’re still adjusting to his size, his cock working you open with every thrust. His fingertips swirl around your clit, adding more pressure to the sensitive bud. You’re already close, already putty in his hands. 
Your walls flutter around him, drawing him in, deeper and deeper. 
“Should’ve just brought you in here when I got home,” he husks between starving kisses. “Shouldn’t have waited.” 
You wrap your legs around his waist. “I’m here now,” you coo, your nails scratching at his back as he pounds into you, picking up his pace, his hips snapping into yours. 
“D-don’t know what I’d do without you,” he stutters, his voice suddenly shaky. He’s still fucking into you relentlessly, pumping in and out. “F-fucking need you all the time, princess.” His words and that nickname light a spark at the base of your spine. You can feel yourself melting, ready to come undone. 
“So close,” you choke out in between thrusts. 
You clamp down on him. “That’s it,” Logan whispers, his cock rutting into you, his fingers still circling your clit. He’s working you through it, taking care of you, making you feel good. “Come on my cock, pretty girl. Wanna feel it.” 
You can’t help but do as he says—that spark at the base of your spine spreading like wildfire. You’re moaning his name, walls squeezing around him, stars blurring your vision as your orgasm floods through you. But Logan isn’t slowing down, his cock pounding into you and his fingers stroking your clit long after you’ve finished. 
“Love feeling you come,” he mutters, biting your lip in between kisses. “Wanna feel you come again, princess.” 
You’re already beyond fucked out, overstimulated, and far too sensitive, but his words goad you along. “’S’so much, Lo,” you whimper, tripping over your sentence as he splits you apart, sinks into you, hitting your g-spot with every pump. 
“Know you can take it,” he praises, pressing a kiss just under your ear, then to your pulse point, and back up to your lips. “Know you can come again for me, can’t you?”
“Y-yes,” you stammer. “A-anything for you.” You mean it, and he knows you do.
“Fuck,” he curses, his thrusts growing sloppier as the words fall from your lips. “F-fucking beautiful, perfect.” 
You look to where you two are connected—where you become one—and watch as his cock disappears into you. It’s too much, the sight, the feeling of him fucking into you, rubbing your clit, chasing your orgasm. It’s all it takes to have you falling apart underneath him, coming on his cock again. 
After a few soothing strokes to your clit, his nails trail up your body, his fingertips exploring your bare skin. Logan curses under his breath, your name on his lips. You know he’s close behind—almost there. 
“Don’t pull out,” you whisper in his ear, his cock pulsing inside you. “Stay.” 
That’s all the permission he needs to fill you up, his hips stuttering as he comes. “F-fuck,” he groans, his hand slipping under your back to hike you up, to bury himself as deep as possible, to hold you flush against him as he finishes inside you. 
He pumps a few more times, riding out his orgasm, but he doesn’t pull out. He grabs your thigh and hoists your leg around his waist as he shifts you onto your side. You’re next to him now, your chests still pressed together.
“Lemme stay inside you,” he mumbles. 
You nod against him. “Okay.” You squeeze your leg around his waist, taking him deeper. 
The room is silent, your shared shallow breaths the only sound. The curtains dance in the breeze from the still-open window. Your eyes flutter shut, and Logan’s lips press a kiss to each of them. 
After a few moments, he breaks the silence. “Don’t ever wanna spend a night without you.”
Your eyes flutter back open, and you’re met with Logan’s soft, sleepy face. His hair is a mess. You can’t help but smile at the intimacy—the domesticity. “You don’t have to,” you say back. 
“I mean it,” his voice is steady, firm, the sleepiness replaced suddenly with something more serious. “Need you with me all the time.”
“I know,” you say. And then he’s drawing stars across your back. It makes you think of the night this all started. The night everything changed. “I’ll always stay. Always.” You blink and an unexpected tear slips down your cheek. You swallow harshly, unprepared for the vulnerability of the moment. 
Logan immediately notices and brings his thumb up to your cheek, brushing the tear away. “Just want you. Give anything to make you mine.” 
“I already am,” is all you can manage to say. “Don’t need anything.” 
“Gonna give it to you anyway.” He kisses the spot where he wiped the tear away. 
You start to drift off—his arms around you, his cock still buried inside you—the thought of a forever with Logan replaying in your mind. 
You think he’s asleep, but then you hear his soft husk at your ear. “I love you. Always will.”
“I love you, too.”
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nlerb · 1 year ago
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I feel like I'm in the process of orchestrating a highly elaborate sociological experiment on myself like i have never felt as autistic as I do right now sorry. I feel like it's a 50/50 split between days where I feel kinda confident and feel like I can get started, and days where it's like idk if I can do this like I feel like a screengrab of an anime character where they're like going insane and it's super zoomed in between their eyes. I think the cognitive dissonance that happens when I am trying to work through the issues I set out to when I started in this environment where I have no support and in fact everyones actions are in fact counter to what I'm trying to do is just like too much for me to take and actually make good work. I feel like I'm doing everything completely by myself and I just can't function that way and it feels like the walls are closing in bc at the end of all this shit I have to like present to people about it and like display my work. And leading up to this I'd been putting so much stock in it as like a release valve for all the shit I was like fucking bearing witness to but there's no release it feels like it's just like building up more and more and it's about to blow dude. And within all that idek if the thesis of what I was originally trying to say is even like sound anymore. Like I'm basically trying to fucking. confront this enormous fucking problem singularly and by myself and say something prescient about it. When I knowwww the way to actually do something about it is to connect with an org and organize about it. Like when it came to going to the admin about making the studio more accessible I knew I needed more ppl behind me than just me and I asked anyway and they were like no sorry we aren't doing that. Like individually none of us are empowered to do anything about this it's about collectivity and community, that's where we have power. I think maybe in order to make this work with any sense of integrity or like weight behind it I need to actually build something collectively first or else it's just hollow. Or at the very least it's just way too fucking difficult to take on by myself. Like I feel so on edge all the fucking time I feel surrounded. Jeeeesus Christ dude. So from there it's like should I just completely switch gears and come up with something else? I feel like it's either that or leave. Or muscle through and barely show up to the studio bc the feedback loop I've created for myself at this point is just pure dread and idk if I can keep it up much longer. And part of me feels like it would be giving up to postpone this project that I really believe in in a lot of ways. But also I know it's important to know when to quit. Like it's not that I'm not good enough to do it it's that I just don't have to tools right now so I think I gotta cut my losses. And make work about like perfumes. Or some shit. like maybe I don't have to have the whole fucking world on my shoulders and there are no easy answers. But also no matter what even if I didn't make anything I think I will have gained the lesson of realizing that no matter what I gotta start actually organizing and working with ppl who are already doing the work. Like I think even though this fucking sucks and feels bad and is embarrassing right now this is actually a really fuckin important experience
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desertskiespodcast · 1 year ago
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I tried to write a novel. Not once. Not twice. But about 12 times. Here's how that would play out: 1. I sit down and knock out 10 pages 2. I share it with someone 3. They say "It's goooood" like it's not good 4. I ask for critical feedback 5. They say, "Well....the plot just moves so quickly. So much happens in the first few pages it doesn't feel natural." So I'd write more drafts. I'd try to stretch out the story. I would add dialogue that I tried to make interesting but thought was boring. I would try including environment and character descriptions that felt unnecessary, (why not just let people imagine what they want?) Anyways, I gave up trying to write because in my mind, I wasn't a fiction writer. Maybe I could write a phonebook or something. But then I made a fiction podcast, and I waited for the same feedback about the fast moving plot, but guess what??? Podcasts aren't novels. The thing that made my novels suck became one of the things that made Desert Skies work. I've received some criticism since the show started, but one thing I don't receive regular complaints about is being overly-descriptive or longwinded. In fact, the opposite. It moves fast enough that it keeps peoples attention. I always felt I had a knack for telling stories but spent years beating myself up because I couldn't put those stories into novel form. The problem wasn't me. The problem was the tool I was trying to use. All that to say: If, in your innermost parts you may know that you're a storyteller but you just can't write a book, don't give up right away. You can always do things to get better and there's a lot of good resources. But if you do that for a while and novel writing just isn't your thing, try making a podcast, or creating a comic, or a poem, or a play, or a tv script. You might know you're an artist but suck at painting. Try making a glass mosaic, or miniatures, or try charcoal portraits, or embroider or collage. You might know you're a singer, but opera just isn't working out. Why not yodel? I could keep listing out examples, but the point is this. Trust your intuitions when it comes to your creative abilities, but don't inhibit yourself by becoming dogmatic about which medium you can use to express that creativity. Don't be afraid to try something new. Don't be afraid to make something new. You might just find the art form that fits the gift you knew you always had, and what it is might surprise you
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thursdayg1rl · 1 year ago
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my aunt after the situation she specifically designed to escalate escalates
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kateschi · 1 month ago
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midnight check-in
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synopsis: in the middle of the night, you are woken up by a call from your husband.
pairing: timeskip!bakugou katsuki x f!reader
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the phone buzzes on the nightstand, dragging you from the edge of sleep. squinting at the glowing screen, you see katsuki’s name flashing across it.
it’s late—past the time he should have been home, but not unusual given the unpredictability of hero work. swiping the call open, you press the phone to your ear, voice still heavy with sleep.
“did I wake you?”
his voice is rough, but familiar, crackling through the line like static.
there’s no apology in his tone, but you can hear the subtle hint of concern buried underneath, like he’s weighing whether he should’ve waited until morning to call.
“no,” you lie, sitting up and adjusting to the quiet darkness of the room. “it’s fine. what’s up? are you coming home soon?”
there’s a brief pause on the other end. you hear the faint shuffle of his gear, like he’s shifting in his seat, maybe still in the office or the agency car. “yeah, I’ll be home in a bit. just… wanted to check in.”
check in? katsuki doesn’t just check in. the man’s explosive, stubborn, and blunt to a fault—never the type to dance around what’s on his mind. so, when he calls you this late just to ‘check in,’ something feels off.
“everything okay?” you ask softly, leaning back against the headboard. your fingers toy with the edge of the blanket, tracing small patterns over the fabric.
“yeah, just a long-ass day,” he grumbles, his voice a little lower now. he’s tired, you can tell, but there’s something else lurking in the background of his words.
“didn’t mean to be out so late. I know I said I’d be back before—”
“katsuki,” you cut him off gently. “you don’t have to apologize for doing your job. I know how it is.”
he lets out a frustrated huff, and you can almost picture him running a hand through his hair, the way he does when he’s feeling restless.
“still,” he mutters. “I said I’d be there, and I’m not. doesn’t sit right with me.”
your heart softens at that. even though his words are gruff, katsuki has always had a way of showing he cares—usually in his own roundabout, katsuki-style way.
“you’re here now,” you say, your voice a little warmer. “that’s what matters. I’m just glad you called.”
another pause, this one heavier. there’s a slight crackle from his end, like he’s shifting again, probably leaning back in whatever chair he’s stuck in, the tension still clinging to him.
“yeah, well… I didn’t wanna wake up and find out you’re pissed I didn’t get home.” there’s a touch of humor in his voice, and you can practically hear the smirk on his lips. “figured I’d save myself the trouble.”
you chuckle softly, shaking your head. “you’re not getting out of trouble that easily, katsuki.”
“darn,” he clicks his tongue, but the familiar grumble in his tone makes you smile. it’s his way of saying he missed you, without actually saying it.
for a moment, there’s just comfortable silence between you.
the sound of his steady breathing on the other end of the line makes your chest ache a little—wanting him here, not just on the other side of a phone.
“you almost home?” you ask quietly, the warmth of the blankets doing little to fill the empty space beside you.
“yeah.” his voice softens, dropping just enough that you can tell he’s not as guarded anymore. “should be there in about ten.”
“good,” you murmur, stifling a yawn as you sink further into the bed, imagining him walking through the door any minute now. “I’ll wait for you.”
there’s a beat, a moment where his breathing catches ever so slightly, before he grumbles again, but softer this time. “you don’t have to stay up for me, y/n.”
“I want to.”
the silence that follows feels different—warmer, like he’s smiling, even if you can’t see it. and maybe it’s the exhaustion in your voice, or the way you said it so matter-of-factly, but something in him shifts.
you hear him let out a quiet breath, the kind he only ever lets out when he’s alone with you.
“...you’re such a damn idiot,” he mutters, but there’s no bite to it. just warmth.
you smile into the phone, eyes already half-closed. “takes one to know one.”
he snorts at that, a rare sound of amusement that you love catching him off-guard with. “whatever. just keep your ass in bed. I’ll be there soon.”
“mhm,” you hum, already feeling the drowsiness tugging at you again, but there’s something in the comfort of his voice that keeps you tethered.
you shift slightly, hugging the blanket closer, waiting for the familiar click of the front door. before you drift off entirely, you murmur, “love you, katsuki.”
there’s a pause, and for a moment, you think he’s hung up. but then, quietly, with all the weight of a promise, he replies.
“yeah. love you too.”
the call ends with a soft click, but even after, the warmth of his voice lingers in the quiet room. you smile to yourself, feeling the space beside you growing less empty by the minute.
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kofi — navigation — masterlist
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do not copy, translate, or plagarize
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in-class-daydreams · 3 months ago
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Imagine first meeting ex-husband Gojo on a clear spring day at Tsuruoka City Jail.
The year was 2001. Young Satoru found himself on a train with his retainer making an extended trip many prefectures away. His retainer flipped through a folder.
"Someone's been exorcising curses in Yamagata prefecture. Must've caused a large ruckus for the local law enforcement to get to them first," they said.
Gojo was expecting someone older and/or rougher. Instead he was met with a beat up looking girl around his age in a dark holding cell. While his retainer went off to speak with an officer, Gojo peered at you and said, "Wow. You look like crap."
He doesn't need the six-eyes to easily dodge the shoe you huck his way. "Why don't you come in here and say that, you Inuyasha wannabe??" you shout.
Gojo touches his hair. "This is my natural hair color," he insists.
"Oh." You nod. "That's pretty cool." You walk up close to the bars and sit down. Gojo follows suit.
"I'm Satoru. What's your name?"
~
Imagine young Gojo being absolutely baffled at the verdict from the Higher-Ups that you're slated to be executed.
"She didn't do anything wrong! Isn't exorcising curses what we're supposed to do?" Gojo asked his retainer.
"The girl is a liability to jujutsu society, Satoru," his retainer explained patiently. "She consumes cursed energy from others. It's dangerous."
"So we should just have her be on our side," Gojo responds, only for his retainer to chuckle and pat him on the head.
It's at this young age that Satoru learns just how much leverage he has in society. When he puts his foot down and demands that the "Nure-onna" be spared and placed into the Gojo Clan's care to be his sparring partner, the demand is somehow granted. There's no way she could get close enough to someone with the six-eyes to drink his cursed energy, so he's the optimal partner for her.
~
Imagine young Gojo being fascinated by you.
"You're crazy for dragging me around with you," you tell him.
The two of you are in a field on the Gojo Clan grounds.
"You want me to let them execute you?" he asks, stretching out his legs.
"I could drain you of your cursed energy right here, right now."
"Do it, then. I wanna see. Just don't drink it all," he says. Gojo sits cross-legged in the grass and waits.
You eye him warily, wondering if there's servants waiting in the trees to jump on you for attacking their precious heir. Deciding that you'd just hold him hostage if they did, you kneel beside him and produce your water jug. He stops you when you make your first hand gesture.
"Hang on, explain it to me while you do it," he insists. You roll your eyes but oblige.
"Okay, well, I need at least about a liter of water." You gesture and the liquid flows out of the jug to form long water snakes that wrap around Gojo and squeeze.
"Do you hold everyone this loose?" he asks half-playfully.
You click your tongue at him and tighten his bonds until he lets out a soft grunt. "And then, I just..." You awkwardly tilt your head this way and that. "Normally I bite the neck, but I don't know if your clan would like that."
"Does it hurt?"
"I dunno."
"Will it leave a mark?"
"I dunno, Gojo, I've never tried it on a human!"
Gojo nods resolutely. "Fine. Bite my neck. I trust you."
You gape at the statement until he says, "Hurry up!" and you lean in and bite down where his neck and shoulder meet. You drink maybe a tablespoon's worth of cursed energy before pulling back and letting the snakes fall away. It does, in fact, leave a mark.
"So? What'd that do?" Gojo asks.
"I have more cursed energy for myself now."
"Show me."
You lift your hands with a flourish and all the water - from the dew on the grass to the nearby pond to the excess in the air - gathers and forms one giant writhing snake that slithers through the grass and settles around the two of you. Gojo watches the beast in wonder, eyes gleaming. He tears his eyes away to look at you.
"Pretty cool," he says.
"Yeah. Pretty cool."
~
Thank you so much for reading!
Click [here] for more of Sen being mean to his dad | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]
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pucksandpower · 2 months ago
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Black Widow
Toto Wolff x black widow!Reader
Summary: Lewis Hamilton and George Russell are convinced you’re trying to kill their team principal, and, to be fair, you do have a trail of seven dead extremely wealthy husbands behind you … but it’s not what they think, you promise
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The soft beep of medical equipment provides a rhythmic backdrop as you sit beside the ornate mahogany bed, your manicured fingers intertwined with those of your latest husband, Reginald Worthington III.
At 89 years old, Reggie, as you affectionately call him, is by far your oldest conquest yet. His wrinkled face, now gaunt from months of illness, still manages a weak smile as he gazes at you.
“My darling,” Reggie wheezes, his voice barely above a whisper, “I hope you know how much joy you’ve brought to these final months of mine.”
You lean in, your silky hair cascading over your shoulder as you press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Oh, Reggie. The pleasure has been all mine.”
It’s not entirely a lie. While you don’t love Reggie — or any of your previous husbands, for that matter — you’ve grown fond of the old codger. He’s certainly been the most amusing of your elderly spouses.
Reggie’s eyes twinkle with mischief, a ghost of the rakish playboy he must have been in his youth. “Now, now, my dear. We both know this has been a mutually beneficial arrangement. But I do hope I’ve provided some entertainment along the way.”
You can’t help but chuckle. “You’ve been a delight, darling. Truly.”
As if on cue, Reggie is seized by a coughing fit. You quickly grab a glass of water from the bedside table, helping him take small sips until the spasms subside. When he catches his breath, he fixes you with a serious look.
“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you. About the will.”
Your heart skips a beat, but you keep your face carefully neutral. “Reggie, please. We don’t need to discuss such morbid topics.”
He waves a dismissive hand. “Nonsense. We both know why you’re here, and it’s not to admire the wallpaper. Now listen, because this is important.”
You lean in closer, curiosity piqued despite yourself.
Reggie’s voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “In addition to the usual — the houses, the cars, the offshore accounts — I’m leaving you my stake in the Mercedes Formula 1 team.”
Your eyes widen in genuine surprise. “The racing team? Reggie, I had no idea you were involved with-”
He cuts you off with a wheezy laugh. “Oh, my dear. There’s so much you don’t know about me. Did you think I made my fortune selling denture cream?”
You can’t help but smile. “Well, I did wonder about all those trophies in your study.”
“Remnants of a misspent youth,” Reggie says with a wistful sigh. “But this, this is my crowning achievement. A 33% stake in one of the most successful F1 teams in history.”
Your mind reels at the implications. This is far beyond anything you’d anticipated when you’d set your sights on Reginald Worthington III.
“Reggie, I ... I don’t know what to say.”
He pats your hand affectionately. “You don’t have to say anything, my dear. Just promise me you’ll make the most of it. I’ve always admired your ambition. It reminds me of myself at your age.”
You lean back in your chair, studying the old man before you. In that moment, you feel a surge of genuine affection for him.
“I promise, Reggie. I’ll make you proud.”
He nods, satisfied. “Good. Now, tell me about the others. I want to know how I measure up to my predecessors.”
You laugh, shaking your head in amazement. “Are you sure? It’s quite a list.”
Reggie’s eyes sparkle with interest. “My dear, I’m on my deathbed. Regale me with tales of your conquests.”
With a theatrical sigh, you begin. “Well, if you insist. Let’s see ... first, there was Harold.”
“Ah, the virgin husband,” Reggie interrupts with a knowing nod.
You raise an eyebrow. “And how did you know that?”
He winks. “I have my sources. Go on.”
“Right. Well, Harold was a sweet man. A bit naive, perhaps, but genuinely kind. He left me his tech startup. It wasn’t worth much at the time, but I sold it for a tidy sum a year later.”
Reggie nods approvingly. “Smart move. Who was next?”
“After Harold came George. He was ... intense. A retired army general with a penchant for war stories and expensive scotch. Left me his collection of rare military memorabilia.”
“Fascinating,” Reggie murmurs. “And the others?”
You tick them off on your fingers. “Let’s see ... there was Joaquin, the passionate Spanish chef. He left me his Michelin-starred restaurants. Then came Dmitri, the Russian oligarch. That was ... an experience.”
Reggie chuckles. “I bet it was. What did he leave you?”
“A series of shell companies and a rather gaudy yacht. I sold the yacht, kept the companies.” You pause, lost in thought for a moment. “After Dmitri was William, the British lord. Lovely man, terrible teeth. Left me his crumbling estate and title.”
“So you’re technically a lady now?” Reggie asks, amused.
You nod. “Lady Y/N, at your service. Though I don’t use the title much. It tends to raise questions.”
“Understandable. And the last one before me?”
Your expression softens slightly. “Ah, that was Hiroshi. Japanese tech mogul. Brilliant mind, but so lonely. I think I was the first real companionship he’d had in years.”
Reggie studies you carefully. “You were fond of him.”
You nod, a bit surprised by the lump in your throat. “I was. He ... he understood me, I think. More than the others.”
There’s a moment of silence as Reggie processes this information. Finally, he speaks. “And what did Hiroshi leave you?”
You smile wryly. “His AI research company. It’s been ... interesting, to say the least.”
Reggie nods slowly. “Quite a collection you’ve amassed, my dear. But tell me, what drives you? Surely it’s not just the money.”
You’re taken aback by the question. No one has ever asked you that before. You take a moment to gather your thoughts.
“I suppose ... it’s the challenge of it all. The thrill of reinventing myself with each new husband, of navigating these complex worlds they inhabit. And yes, the wealth is nice, but it’s more about what I can do with it.”
Reggie leans forward, intrigued. “And what is it you want to do?”
You pause, realizing you’ve never really articulated this to anyone before. “I want to make a difference. Real, lasting change. These men, they’ve all built empires in their own ways, but they’ve been limited by their own mortality. I don’t have those limitations yet. I can take what they’ve given me and create something ... more.”
Reggie’s eyes light up with understanding. “Ah, now I see why I was drawn to you. You’re not just a pretty face or a clever mind. You’re a visionary.”
You feel a flush of pride at his words. “I try to be. Each husband has taught me something new, given me tools I never had before. Harold showed me the potential of technology. George taught me strategy. Joaquin, the importance of passion in one’s work. Dmitri, how to navigate the murky waters of international business. William gave me a glimpse into old-world power structures. And Hiroshi ... well, he opened my eyes to the future.”
Reggie nods slowly. “And what have I taught you, I wonder?”
You smile softly. “Patience, Reggie. The long game. And the value of a good sense of humor in the face of adversity.”
He chuckles weakly. “Well, I’m glad I could contribute something to your education. Now, about this F1 team ...”
You lean in, eager to hear more. “Yes?”
“It’s more than just a racing team, you know. It’s a pinnacle of engineering, a testament to human ingenuity and the constant push for improvement. I think you’ll find it fits quite well with your ambitions.”
You nod slowly, mind already racing with possibilities. “I can see that. The technology, the global platform, the prestige ...”
Reggie grins. “Exactly. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find husband number eight in the paddock.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Oh, Reggie. Always thinking ahead, aren’t you?”
He winks. “Someone has to. Now, promise me one thing.”
“Anything,” you say, and you’re surprised to find you mean it.
“When you’re accepting that championship trophy — because I know you will — wear something fabulous. Give those stuffy old men in the paddock something to talk about.”
You can’t help but grin. “Oh, don’t worry. I intend to shake things up a bit.”
Reggie nods approvingly. “That’s my girl. Now, I think I need to rest for a bit. But don’t go far. I want to hear all about your plans for world domination when I wake up.”
As you watch Reggie drift off to sleep, you can’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Sadness at the impending loss of this charming old rogue, excitement at the unexpected opportunity he’s given you, and a renewed sense of purpose.
You glance at your reflection in the ornate mirror across the room. Lady Y/N Y/L/N, soon-to-be racing magnate. It has a nice ring to it.
As you settle back into your chair, you begin to plan your next moves. The motorsport world won’t know what hit it.
***
The sleek boardroom of the Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team headquarters buzzes with hushed conversation. Around the polished mahogany table, team executives and board members huddle in small groups, their voices low and urgent.
Toto catches snippets of conversation as he reviews his notes for the meeting.
“Did you hear? She’s actually coming today,” whispers Bradley, the team’s financial officer.
Sarah, head of marketing, leans in. “I can’t believe Reginald left her his stake. What was he thinking?”
“Probably wasn’t thinking with his head, if you know what I mean,” chuckles Thomas, the technical director.
Toto clears his throat, silencing the gossip. “Let’s keep things professional, shall we? We have important matters to discuss today.”
As if on cue, the boardroom door swings open. The room falls into an immediate, almost eerie silence as you stride in, turning heads with every click of your Manolo Blahnik heels against the polished floor.
Toto finds himself holding his breath, caught off guard by your presence. He’s seen photos, of course, but they didn’t do you justice. Your tailored Armani suit exudes power and confidence, while your eyes scan the room with a shrewd intelligence that sends a shiver down his spine.
You take your seat at the far end of the table, directly opposite Toto. “Good morning, everyone. I hope I’m not late.”
Your voice, smooth as silk with a hint of amusement, breaks the spell. The room erupts into a flurry of awkward greetings and nervous coughs.
Toto clears his throat again, trying to regain control of the situation. “Not at all. We were just about to begin. Welcome, Lady Worthington. We’re honored to have you join us today.”
You smile, a dazzling display that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “Please, call me Y/N. We’re all colleagues here, after all.”
Toto nods, fighting to keep his composure. “Of course, Y/N. Shall we begin with the agenda?”
As the meeting progresses, Toto finds himself increasingly distracted. He’s used to being the most commanding presence in any room, but your arrival has shifted the dynamic entirely. Every time you speak, offering insights or asking pointed questions, the rest of the board seems to hold its breath.
“I’ve been reviewing our sustainability initiatives,” you say during a lull in the conversation. “While I applaud our efforts so far, I believe we could be doing more. Formula 1 has an unique platform to drive innovation in green technologies. We should be leading the charge, not just following along.”
Bradley shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “With all due respect, Lady- I mean, Y/N, implementing new sustainability measures could be quite costly. We need to consider the bottom line.”
You lean forward, fixing Bradley with an intense gaze. “And what about the cost of falling behind? Of being seen as out of touch with the concerns of younger fans? Sometimes, you have to spend money to make money.”
Toto finds himself nodding in agreement before he even realizes it. “Y/N raises an excellent point. Perhaps we should form a task force to explore more aggressive sustainability options.”
You flash him a grateful smile, and Toto feels his heart skip a beat. He quickly looks down at his notes, trying to regain his composure.
As the meeting continues, you consistently challenge the status quo, pushing for bolder strategies and innovative approaches. Toto watches in fascination as you deftly navigate the complex dynamics of the board, alternating between charm and steel as the situation demands.
During a discussion about driver development, you interject again. “I’ve been looking into our junior driver program, and I think we’re missing opportunities. We’re too focused on traditional racing backgrounds. What about sim racers? Or scouting karters from developing countries? We could be tapping into a whole new pool of talent.”
Sarah, the marketing head, perks up at this. “That’s ... actually a brilliant idea. It could really broaden our appeal, especially in emerging markets.”
You nod appreciatively. “Exactly. And imagine the stories we could tell. The sim racer who became an F1 champion or the kid from a small village who rose to the top of motorsport. That’s the kind of narrative that builds brand loyalty and inspires the next generation of fans.”
Toto finds himself leaning forward, completely engrossed. “I love this direction. Y/N, would you be willing to work with Sarah to develop a proposal for expanding our driver search?”
“Of course,” you reply with a smile that makes Toto’s pulse quicken. “I’d be delighted.”
As the meeting winds down, Toto realizes that the entire dynamic of the board has shifted. The initial wariness towards you has given way to a mixture of respect and curiosity. Even those who seemed most skeptical at the start are now hanging on your every word.
“Well,” Toto says, glancing at his watch, “I think that concludes our agenda for today. Unless anyone has any other matters to discuss?”
The room is silent for a moment before you speak up. “Actually, if I may, I’d like to address the elephant in the room.”
A tense hush falls over the gathering. Toto holds his breath, unsure of what’s coming next.
You stand, your posture relaxed but commanding. “I’m aware of the rumors and speculation surrounding my ... personal life. I want to assure all of you that my presence here is purely professional. I’m not here to cause drama or upheaval. I’m here because I believe in the potential of this team and this sport. I hope that over time, you’ll come to judge me based on my contributions, not on gossip or hearsay.”
The sincerity in your voice is palpable, and Toto can see the effect it has on the room. Shoulders relax, expressions soften. There’s a collective exhale, as if a weight has been lifted.
“Thank you for your honesty,” Toto says, standing as well. “I think I speak for everyone when I say we look forward to working with you and seeing what fresh perspectives you can bring to the team.”
There’s a murmur of agreement around the table. As the meeting officially adjourns, people begin to gather their things and file out of the room. Toto notices that several board members linger, clearly hoping to have a word with you. He feels an unexpected twinge of jealousy.
Before he can second-guess himself, Toto makes his way around the table to where you’re chatting with Sarah about the junior driver program idea.
“Excuse me,” he says, feeling uncharacteristically nervous. “Y/N, I was wondering if I could have a word?”
You turn to him with a smile that makes his heart race. “Of course. What can I do for you?”
He takes a deep breath, acutely aware of the curious glances from the remaining board members. “I was impressed by your insights today. I think there’s a lot we could discuss further about the future direction of the team. Would you perhaps be interested in continuing this conversation over dinner?”
A hush falls over the remaining occupants of the room. Toto can practically feel the weight of their stares, but he keeps his eyes fixed on you.
You raise an eyebrow, a mix of surprise and amusement playing across your features. “Dinner? My, my, Toto. Aren’t you afraid of me? I do have quite the reputation, you know.”
There’s a challenge in your voice, but also a hint of vulnerability that catches Toto off guard. He realizes that beneath your confident exterior, you’re testing him, gauging his true intentions.
Toto meets your gaze steadily, his voice low but firm. “I don’t put much stock in rumors. I prefer to form my own opinions based on what I see and experience. And what I’ve seen today is a brilliant, passionate individual who could be a tremendous asset to this team. That’s the person I’m interested in getting to know better.”
The room seems to hold its breath, waiting for your response. You study Toto for a long moment, your expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a genuine smile spreads across your face.
“Well, in that case, I’d be delighted to have dinner with you. Shall we say eight o’clock?”
Toto feels a rush of relief and excitement. “Eight o’clock sounds perfect. I know just the place.”
As you gather your things and prepare to leave, Toto can’t help but feel like he’s standing on the precipice of something monumental. He’s built his career on calculated risks, on seeing potential where others see danger. Looking at you, he knows that this might be the biggest gamble of his life.
But as you turn to give him one last smile before exiting the boardroom, Toto is certain of one thing: it’s a risk he’s more than willing to take.
***
The Monaco Grand Prix paddock buzzes with excitement, a hive of activity as teams prepare for the most glamorous race on the Formula 1 calendar. Lewis Hamilton and George Russell huddle in a quiet corner of the Mercedes garage, their voices low and urgent.
“I’m telling you, mate, something’s not right,” George insists, his eyes darting around to ensure they’re not overheard. “Have you seen the way Toto’s been acting lately? It’s like he’s under some kind of spell.”
Lewis nods grimly, his usual pre-race focus replaced by concern. “I know what you mean. Ever since she came into the picture, it’s like he’s a different person. Always distracted, making decisions that don’t quite add up.”
“Exactly!” George exclaims, then quickly lowers his voice again. “And have you noticed how she’s always around now? At every meeting, every strategy session. It’s like she’s trying to learn all our secrets.”
Lewis furrows his brow, deep in thought. “You don’t think ... I mean, surely she wouldn’t actually try to ...”
“Kill him?” George finishes, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know, mate. But look at her track record. Seven husbands, all dead within months of marrying her. And now she’s got her claws into Toto.”
As if summoned by their conversation, you appear at the entrance of the garage, Toto at your side. The team principal’s hand rests comfortably on the small of your back as he leads you through the bustling workspace.
Lewis and George fall silent, watching intently as you make your way towards them. Your designer sundress and oversized sunglasses scream understated elegance, but to the two drivers, you might as well be wearing a black widow’s web.
“Good morning,” Toto calls out cheerfully. “Ready for qualifying?”
Lewis forces a smile, his eyes never leaving you. “Morning, Toto. Yeah, we were just discussing strategy.”
You step forward, flashing a dazzling smile. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important. I’m still learning all the intricacies of race weekends.”
George clears his throat, trying to keep his voice steady. “Not at all. We were just finishing up.”
Toto beams, looking from you to his drivers with pride. “Isn’t it wonderful having Y/N here? She’s already brought so many fresh ideas to the team. I don’t know how we managed without her.”
You laugh, a sound that sends chills down Lewis and George’s spines. “Oh, darling, you’re exaggerating. I’m sure these boys were doing just fine before I came along.”
As you speak, your hand reaches up to smooth Toto’s collar, a gesture that seems innocent enough but makes both drivers tense.
Lewis clears his throat. “Actually, Toto, could we have a quick word? About the, uh, tire strategy?”
Toto looks surprised but nods. “Of course. Y/N, would you mind giving us a moment?”
“Not at all,” you reply smoothly. “I’ll just go chat with the mechanics. I’m fascinated by all this technology.”
As you saunter away, Lewis and George exchange a meaningful glance. This is their chance.
“Toto,” Lewis begins, choosing his words carefully. “We’re a bit concerned. About you, actually.”
Toto’s brow furrows in confusion. “Concerned? What do you mean?”
George jumps in, his words tumbling out in a rush. “It’s just that ... well, things have been different since you started seeing her. And given her history ...”
“Her history?” Toto repeats, his voice taking on an edge. “What exactly are you implying?”
Lewis takes a deep breath. “Toto, we care about you. And we can’t help but notice that Y/N’s previous partners have all met with ... unfortunate ends.”
For a moment, Toto just stares at them, his expression unreadable. Then, to their surprise, he bursts out laughing.
“Oh, boys,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I appreciate your concern, truly. But I assure you, it’s misplaced. Y/N has been nothing but a positive influence on both me and the team.”
George persists, his voice urgent. “But Toto, you have to admit, the pattern is alarming. Seven husbands, all dead within months of marriage. And now she’s here, learning all about our team, our strategies ...”
Toto’s amusement fades, replaced by a stern look. “That’s enough. I understand you’re worried, but I won’t have you spreading baseless rumors. Y/N is here because she’s a part-owner of this team and because I invited her. End of discussion.”
As Toto walks away, Lewis and George share a look of dismay.
“He’s in too deep,” Lewis mutters. “We need to do something.”
George nods grimly. “We can’t let her hurt him. Or the team. We need a plan.”
Throughout the day, as qualifying unfolds, Lewis and George find themselves constantly distracted. Every time they catch a glimpse of you in the garage or on the pit wall, their imaginations run wild.
During a brief break between sessions, they overhear a snippet of conversation between you and one of the engineers.
“So, if something were to go wrong with the car during the race,” you’re saying, “what would be the most catastrophic point of failure?”
The engineer launches into a detailed explanation of various mechanical vulnerabilities, unaware of the horrified looks on the drivers’ faces.
“She’s gathering intel,” George whispers to Lewis. “Probably planning some sort of accident for Toto.”
Lewis nods, his jaw set with determination. “We need to warn him again. Make him see reason.”
But their attempts to get Toto alone prove futile. You seem to be constantly by his side, your hand on his arm, whispering in his ear. To an outsider, it might look like the actions of a loving girlfriend, but to Lewis and George, every gesture seems calculated and sinister.
As the day wears on, their paranoia grows. They start seeing threats everywhere. When you hand Toto a bottle of water, they’re convinced it’s poisoned. When you suggest he take a look at something in the back of the garage, they’re sure you’re luring him away to do him harm.
Finally, as the sun begins to set over the Monaco harbor, they decide they can’t wait any longer. They need to confront you directly.
They find you alone in the hospitality area, reviewing some papers. As they approach, you look up with a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
“Lewis, George,” you greet them warmly. “Excellent qualifying today. You must be pleased.”
Lewis takes a deep breath, steeling himself. “Cut the act. We know what you’re up to.”
Your expression doesn’t change, but something flickers in your eyes. “I’m not sure I understand. What exactly am I up to?”
George steps forward, his voice low and intense. “We know about your husbands. All seven of them. And we’re not going to let you add Toto to that list.”
For a moment, you just stare at them, your face unreadable. Then, to their surprise, you burst out laughing.
“Oh,” you chuckle, shaking your head. “Is that what this is all about? You think I’m here to kill Toto?”
Lewis and George exchange confused glances, thrown off by your reaction.
You lean in, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Let me tell you a little secret. Those men? They were all terminally ill when I married them. It was a business arrangement, pure and simple. They got to spend their last months with a young, beautiful wife, and I got their fortunes. No foul play involved.”
The drivers stare at you, speechless. You continue, your tone becoming more serious.
“As for Toto, well, that’s different. For the first time in my life, I’ve found someone I genuinely care for. Someone who sees me for who I am, not just what I can offer. I’m not here to hurt him or the team. I’m here because I want to be part of something meaningful.”
Lewis and George exchange uncertain glances, their convictions shaken.
“But ... all the questions about the car, the team strategies ...” George begins.
You roll your eyes, a hint of amusement in your voice. “I’m a part-owner of this team now, remember? Of course I’m trying to learn everything I can. How else can I contribute?”
As the truth of your words sinks in, Lewis and George begin to feel a creeping sense of embarrassment. They’ve let their imaginations and preconceptions run wild, seeing threats where there were none.
“I ... we ...” Lewis stammers, struggling to find the right words.
You hold up a hand, stopping him. “It’s alright. I understand. My reputation precedes me, and you were just looking out for Toto. I can respect that.”
George rubs the back of his neck, sheepish. “We may have gotten a bit carried away. I’m sorry.”
You smile, and this time it reaches your eyes. “Apology accepted. Now, what do you say we put this behind us and focus on winning tomorrow’s race?”
As if on cue, Toto appears, looking between the three of you with curiosity. “Everything alright here?”
You stand, moving to his side and slipping your arm through his. “Everything’s perfect, darling. In fact, I think Lewis and George were just about to share some ideas they had for the race strategy. Weren’t you, boys?”
Lewis and George nod, grateful for the out you’ve given them. As they launch into a discussion about tire management and overtaking opportunities, they can’t help but marvel at how wrong they’ve been.
Watching you interact with Toto, they see not a black widow spinning her web, but a woman genuinely in love, bringing out the best in their team principal. They realize that sometimes, people can surprise you. And sometimes, the most unexpected additions to a team can be the most valuable.
***
The soft glow of chandeliers bathes the exclusive Monégasque restaurant in warm light, casting elegant shadows across the faces of Monaco’s elite. Grigori Volkov, a grizzled veteran of the Russian underworld, sips his vodka, his weathered face a mask of careful neutrality as he surveys the room.
His eyes narrow as they land on a familiar figure across the crowded dining area. It can’t be, he thinks, leaning forward for a better look. But there’s no mistaking that face, those eyes that have haunted his dreams and nightmares for years.
You.
Grigori watches as you laugh, your hand resting lightly on the arm of a tall, distinguished-looking man. He recognizes him vaguely. But what catches Grigori off guard is the easy intimacy between you, the matching wedding bands glinting in the low light.
For a moment, Grigori considers slipping out unnoticed. But curiosity gets the better of him. He signals the waiter, ordering another round of drinks to be sent to your table.
As the waiter approaches with the drinks, Grigori sees your posture stiffen slightly, your eyes scanning the room until they lock onto his. He raises his glass in a small salute, a wry smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
You lean in, whispering something to Toto. The man looks surprised but nods, and together you make your way towards Grigori’s table.
“Grigori,” you greet him, your voice a mix of warmth and wariness. “It’s been a long time.”
Grigori stands, bowing slightly. “Indeed it has, my dear. You’re looking well. And who might this be?”
Toto extends his hand, his grip firm. “Toto Wolff. And you are?”
“An old friend of your wife’s,” Grigori replies smoothly, noting the flicker of surprise in Toto’s eyes at the word ’wife’. “Grigori Volkov. I knew Y/N back in her Russian days.”
You gesture to the empty chairs. “May we join you?”
Grigori nods, waving expansively. “Please, be my guests.”
As you settle in, Grigori can’t help but study Toto more closely. He’s younger than expected, vital and alert. Not at all what he’d imagined for your latest conquest.
“So, Toto,” Grigori begins, his accent thick with amusement, “how long have you and our dear Y/N been married?”
Toto smiles, his hand finding yours on the table. “Just over two years now. Best decision I ever made.”
Grigori’s eyebrows shoot up. “Two years? My, my. That’s quite impressive.”
You shoot him a warning look, but Toto just looks confused. “I’m not sure I follow. Why is that impressive?”
Grigori chuckles, taking a long sip of his vodka. “Oh, forgive me. I just meant that Y/N here has always been something of a ... how do you say ... free spirit? Never one to be tied down for long.”
You interject quickly, “People change, Grigori. I’ve found what I was looking for.”
Grigori nods, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Indeed they do. And what of your ... other interests? The ones you inherited from dear Dmitri?”
Toto’s brow furrows. “Dmitri? I’m afraid I don’t know much about Y/N’s ex-husbands.”
“Ex-husbands?” Grigori repeats, feigning surprise. “Oh, but Dmitri was special, wasn’t he? After all, not every day one inherits a slice of the Bratva.”
The color drains from Toto’s face as he turns to you. “The Bratva? As in, the Russian mob?”
You sigh, shooting Grigori a glare that could freeze vodka. “It’s complicated, darling. And very much in the past.”
Grigori leans back, thoroughly enjoying the drama unfolding before him. “Oh, come now, Y/N. Surely your husband deserves to know the truth? About your colorful past, your string of deceased husbands, your unexpected rise to power in certain ... shall we say, unofficial circles?”
Toto looks between you and Grigori, his expression a mix of confusion and growing concern. “Y/N, what is he talking about?”
You take a deep breath, squeezing Toto’s hand. “Toto, there are parts of my past I haven’t told you about. Not because I wanted to keep secrets, but because I wanted to leave that life behind.”
Grigori interjects, his voice dripping with false sympathy. “Oh, but my dear, can one ever truly leave such a life behind? Especially when one has risen to such ... prominent positions?”
Toto’s eyes narrow as he looks at Grigori. “And what exactly is your role in all this?”
Grigori smiles, all teeth and no warmth. “Let’s just say I’m an old associate of Dmitri’s. And by extension, of Y/N’s. Though I must admit, I’m surprised to see you still among the living, Mr. Wolff. Our dear Y/N has quite a reputation, you know.”
You slam your hand on the table, your voice low and dangerous. “Enough, Grigori. That’s not who I am anymore.”
Grigori holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Of course, of course. I meant no offense. I’m merely ... surprised. After all, your previous husbands weren’t quite so fortunate. Or so young and vigorous.”
Toto’s jaw clenches, his eyes darting between you and Grigori. “I think it’s time we left.”
As you stand to leave, Grigori calls out, “Oh, but we’ve only just begun to catch up. There’s so much your husband doesn’t know, Y/N. About the power you wield, the empire you inherited. Don’t you think he deserves to know the truth about the woman he married?”
You turn back, your eyes flashing with a mix of anger and something deeper, more dangerous. “The truth, Grigori, is that I left that life behind. I found something real, something worth living for. And if you or anyone else tries to drag me back into that world, you’ll regret it.”
Grigori leans forward, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Is that a threat, my dear?”
You smile, cold and sharp. “Consider it a friendly warning. From one old friend to another.”
As you and Toto walk away, Grigori can’t help but feel a shiver run down his spine. He’d forgotten, in the years since you’d left Russia, just how formidable you could be.
He watches as you and Toto have an intense, whispered conversation by the exit. To his surprise, instead of storming out, Toto nods, takes your hand, and leads you back to Grigori’s table.
“Mr. Volkov,” Toto says, his voice steady and controlled, “I think it’s time we had an honest conversation. About Y/N’s past, about your ... association, and about how we move forward from here.”
Grigori raises an eyebrow, impressed despite himself. “Well, well. It seems you’ve found yourself a man with a spine, Y/N. Very well, let’s talk.”
As the three of you settle back into your seats, Grigori can’t help but feel a grudging respect for Toto. Most men would have run for the hills by now, but here he is, ready to face the truth head-on.
“So,” Grigori begins, pouring fresh vodka for all of you, “where shall we start? With Dmitri? With the Bratva? Or perhaps with the mysterious deaths of Y/N’s previous husbands?”
Toto takes a sip of vodka, his eyes never leaving Grigori’s. “Let’s start with the truth. All of it.”
You sigh, your hand finding Toto’s under the table. “Alright. Dmitri was my fifth husband. He was a high-ranking member of the Bratva, and when he died, I inherited his position and his connections.”
Grigori nods approvingly. “She’s being modest. Y/N didn’t just inherit Dmitri’s position — she expanded it. Forged new alliances, eliminated rivals. She became a force to be reckoned with in our world.”
Toto looks at you, his expression unreadable. “And the other husbands?”
You meet his gaze steadily. “They were all older men, all terminally ill. It was a business arrangement. They got to spend their last months with a young wife, and I got their fortunes. No foul play, I swear.”
Grigori chuckles. “Oh, come now. There were rumors, whispers of poison, of accidents arranged just so ...”
You whirl on him, your eyes flashing. “Rumors started by people like you. People who couldn’t believe a woman could gain power without resorting to murder.”
Toto squeezes your hand, his voice gentle. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
You turn back to him, your expression softening. “Because I wanted to leave it all behind. When I met you, I saw a chance at a real life, a real relationship. I didn’t want my past to taint that.”
Grigori watches this exchange with growing fascination. He’s never seen you like this — vulnerable, open, genuinely in love. It’s... unsettling.
“And now?” He asks, unable to keep the curiosity from his voice. “What becomes of your empire, Y/N? Your power? Your connections?”
You straighten, your voice firm. “I’ve been systematically dismantling it all. Using the resources to fund legitimate businesses, charitable foundations. I’m out. For good.”
Grigori leans back, genuinely surprised. “You’re serious, aren’t you? You’re really walking away from it all.”
Toto speaks up, his voice steady. “We’re building something new together. Something honest, something we can be proud of.”
Grigori studies them both for a long moment, then throws back the last of his vodka. “Well, I’ll be damned. You’ve actually done it. You’ve found a way out.”
You nod, a small smile playing at your lips. “I have. And I’d appreciate it if you’d spread the word. Y/N Wolff is retired. Permanently.”
Grigori stands, straightening his jacket. “Consider it done, my dear. But know this — there will always be those who remember who you were, what you were capable of. Be careful.”
As he turns to leave, Toto calls out, “Mr. Volkov?”
Grigori pauses, looking back. “Yes?”
Toto’s voice is calm, but there’s steel beneath the surface. “If anyone from Y/N’s past tries to cause trouble for us, they’ll have to deal with me. And I assure you, I can be just as formidable as my wife when necessary.”
Grigori studies Toto for a moment, then breaks into a broad grin. “I believe you, Mr. Wolff. I really do. Take care of her, won’t you? She’s one of a kind.”
As Grigori walks away, he can’t help but shake his head in amazement. You, the Black Widow of the Bratva, settled down and in love. Will wonders never cease?
He glances back one last time to see you and Toto deep in conversation, your hands intertwined on the table. There’s an openness to your expression that he’s never seen before, a vulnerability that speaks volumes.
For the first time in years, Grigori feels a twinge of envy. Not for your power or your wealth, but for the genuine connection you seem to have found. As he steps out into the cool Monaco night, he wonders if perhaps it’s time for him to consider a change of his own.
After all, if the infamous Y/N can find redemption and true love, maybe there’s hope for an old dog like him yet.
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