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#so i just have to go to sleep and hope that i don't have more when i do
mitsua · 2 days
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With an MC who likes to post about their dates with them
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Warnings: none Genre: fluff
Series: OM! SWD? MC'S. . . GN!
Words count: 0.74k
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I don't think he'd really like it at first, since you were all the time asking for a picture, for him to pose or smile, and, well, he doesn't really wish to do that.
However, once Asmodeous showed him all the posts you made on every date-how you wrote so highly and cutely about your spent time with him-it made somethings in his heart and pride go up to the stars.
"I'll smile only if you smile too."
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Maybe sometimes is the one who catches you off guard asking you to take a picture of the most random moment on your date just as a joke.
But oh boy when he scrolls down later on and sees you really posted those embarrassing photos, he's gonna be malfunctioning for a while.
Still, as he reads your thoughts about the date on the picture's caption, his mind will race a thousands miles per hour and kick his feet like a little kid (obviously without anyone seeing him).
"Be grateful I'm not charging ya' for those photos!"
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It started as posting about some streamings you watched, then to both your hands shown holding a video game controls, the final blow was when he woke up to an exaggerated amount of posts he'd been tagged on, new hashtags shipping the both of you and some even promoting their pages to read Leviathan x you content.
He was about to go insane, but as you asked him if he wanted you to delete all those posts, he reconsidered and ponder what was wrong on all that.
"It's fine, yes, it's going to be fine only with you by my side."
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He'd get used to you taking a photo before and after entering a new place with him, sometimes a couple more in there. But never thought nor asked what'd you do with those.
Later on, as he read online about new places to take your date to in Devilgram as it seemed to be the most reliable app to ask to, he came across your page and finally saw all you had to comment of your dates.
"I love reading your narrating, however, would you mind telling me by yourself what you thought about it all?"
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When he discovers your passion of publishing about your dates, you've grown accostumed to even going live on a couple of them. Of course the most part of your dates were private, you spent some time exchanging ideas on how to edit or tag your posts.
The only time you really caught him off guard was the time you posted a photo of him fully suited, when you attended to a fancy dinner of your anniversary together, he didn't notice you taking it! Your caption reading: "Hope you know you look beautiful to me in every way you'd never even got to imagine about <3"
His eyes got glassy as he absorbed your words and went immediately to hug you.
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It's an odd thing to him, but doesn't really comment about it unless he thinks you're spending too much time on your D.D.D. your eyes might burn because of being glued to the screen all time.
One day, after an important fangol match of his, some reporters asked permission to publish the photographs taken on their Devilgram account and tag them on it, to which all of them agreed happily. After returning to the HOL he'd look for their team's post and click on your page by mistake, mersmerized with all the love you put on your almost daily posts about your dates with him.
"Uhm... do you want to take a picture of both of us eating this cupcake?"
He'd still have a weird approach, but trust me, he's trying.
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He's between 'I don't like it' to 'I don't care'. Nevertheless, he would smile in a couple of pictures you want to take throughout your time together. But only when he's looking at you.
He won't bother looking to the camera, he'll only stare at you.
The only photo you have of him smiling to something else that was not you was when he was asleep. Probably dreaming of you too-
Sometimes, when he can't sleep, he might scroll down your Devilgram to remember those cute dates of yours.
"That I have to look to that little thing in your phone while you're taking the photo? Why? I want to look at you."
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All writings' rights reserved © 2024 Mitsua. (Credit to the respective owners of the picture and tagged anime character.) ⌇ my navigation!
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merthosus · 2 days
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Bloody braiding
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Summary: Fives comes in after a mission late at night. You were getting ready for bed but your hair wasn't braided yet, so you kindly ask him to do it.
This got into my mind right before sleeping hope you enjoy it!
"I am full of blood and you are asking me, if I could braid your hair?"
You were sitting on the floor at your room in the umbrella academy. Outside, it's slowly becoming fall and wet leaves are collecting on the windowsill. The walk to the bathroom was clearly too far for you, so you sat cross-legged in front of your large body mirror and embalmed your lips. It was already dark and you were getting ready for bed. Your skin had already been washed, your teeth brushed and you had changed into your best pajamas.
“You scared me, you tramp!” you say angrily as you pick up the balm again and screw it shut. As you look up at Five, your eyes widen a little when you see his bloodstained shirt. “Can you braid my hair?” you ask. Five puts his head to one side as he closes the door behind him. “I am full of blood and you are asking me, if I could braid your hair?” he asks you incredulously.
“Is that your blood?” you ask, pointing to his shirt. He just shakes his head and sits down on your bed. “Well then,” you say as you slide backwards between his legs.
Five sighs heavily as he looks down at you, still in disbelief. “You’re ridiculous,” he mutters under his breath, but his hands are already reaching for the hair tie that’s resting on your wrist.
You lean back slightly, enjoying the feeling of someone else taking over for a change. Five’s hands, though still smeared with dried blood, are surprisingly gentle as he starts dividing your hair into two sections. “You’re going to ruin my pajamas, you know,” you say softly, your eyes fluttering shut. The warmth of his presence feels oddly comforting, despite the unsettling state he’s in.
“I’ve been through worse,” he replies, his voice gruff but less sharp than usual. His fingers move deftly, and you realize he must have done this before. It strikes you, briefly, that Five’s life has been so much more complicated than any of yours.
“So… who’s blood is that?” you ask casually, not quite ready to face the full weight of the situation. It’s easier to talk while his hands are braiding your hair. There’s a lull in the air, as if the night itself is holding its breath.
“Do you really want to know?” he says, finishing the first braid with a quiet snap of the hair tie. You feel his fingers move to the next section of hair, his touch steady, unfazed by the topic. “Maybe not,” you admit, shivering slightly as the cool night air filters in through the window. Fives knee shivers a little bit as you let your head roll back on his thigh to look up at him.
Fives eyes do a little wider, as your head touched his inner thigh. "What?", you ask him confused ´, tilting your head a little bit. "N...nothing..", he shudders. You look deep into his eyes, trim to find an explanation for his odd behavior. "I know you had a bad day, can I help you in any way?", you ask him, laying your hand onto his thigh.
Five's gaze flickers as your hand rests gently on his thigh. He swallows hard, clearly not used to this kind of tenderness. His eyes, usually sharp and calculating, soften for a brief moment before he quickly masks it behind his usual stoic demeanor.
"You don't need to worry about me," he mutters, his voice a little gruffer than before. "I've been through worse." His hands, which were so deft and confident when braiding your hair, now fidget slightly, unsure what to do.
You can sense that there's more going on than he’s letting on, but pressing him might push him away. Five is used to carrying his burdens alone, and you're not sure how much he’ll let you in. But you're here now, and you want to help.
“You’re always saying that,” you reply softly, your thumb unconsciously tracing a small circle on his thigh. “But you don’t have to deal with everything by yourself.”
Five glances down at your hand on his leg, as if contemplating whether to pull away or allow it. There’s a long pause, the room growing still as the air between you feels heavy with unspoken words. He closes his eyes briefly, as if waging some internal battle.
"Maybe not," he finally admits, his voice almost too quiet to hear. It’s the closest he’s ever come to admitting vulnerability. He looks away, his jaw tightening as if the admission alone was too much.
You nod, understanding the gravity of his words. You shift slightly so you’re sitting closer to him, the warmth of your presence offering him comfort, even if he won’t say it out loud.
"Let me help, just this once," you say gently. "You don’t have to say anything. Just let me be here."
Five doesn’t respond immediately, but his shoulders seem to relax, if only a little. His hand moves hesitantly, hovering over yours for a moment before resting on top of it. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes.
reveal. The vulnerability in his touch is a stark contrast to the bloodstained chaos he’s been through. It’s quiet, the room filled with the soft rustling of leaves outside and the steady beat of your heart against the tension in the air.
For a long moment, neither of you speaks. The weight of unspoken words lingers, but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Instead, it feels like a kind of peace—fragile and rare, but present nonetheless.
"You don't have to fix everything, you know," you whisper, your voice barely above a breath. Your thumb continues its soft pattern on his thigh, grounding both of you in the simplicity of the moment.
Five lets out a small huff of laughter, but there's no humor in it—more like disbelief. "It's not that simple," he mutters, eyes still avoiding yours as if he's afraid to be seen.
"I know," you reply softly, leaning back slightly against him, feeling the warmth of his body behind you. "But you're not alone, Five. Not tonight."
His grip tightens briefly, and his fingers twitch as if he’s fighting the urge to pull away again. But instead, he stays still, his jaw clenched as if holding back something he can’t quite articulate.
The silence stretches once more before Five lets out a shaky breath. His eyes finally meet yours, a storm of emotions swirling beneath the surface—frustration, weariness, and something else, something softer.
Without saying a word, he leans forward, his forehead pressing gently against yours. The world around you seems to fade, the night drawing closer as you’re wrapped in the quiet intimacy of the moment.
Then, with a tenderness that surprises both of you, Five dips his head slightly, brushing his lips softly against yours. The kiss is slow, tentative, as if he’s testing the waters of something unfamiliar. You return the kiss just as gently, your hands moving to the back of his neck, fingers slipping through his hair as you pull him a little closer.
It’s not rushed or desperate, but rather a quiet understanding—a shared moment between two people who have seen too much of the world but have found solace, if only for tonight, in each other.
When he finally pulls back, his eyes stay on yours, softer now, but still guarded. He rests his forehead against yours again, his breath steady but slightly unsteady, as if letting go of this much was harder than he expected.
"Thank you," he whispers, so softly you almost don’t catch it. But the weight of those two words hangs in the air, and you know it’s more than just gratitude—it’s trust.
Hope you guys liked it!
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sagekiosk · 2 days
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🐍🐙🏹
Jamil, Azul, Rook x Reader — Yandere — Angst — TWST
You guys ; NOOOO SAGE,, ANGST AGAIN!?!?
Me ; you eat whats on your plate >:(( Hope this will feed you guys for the time being while I’m making the other fics, this is just a silly gift for @plumipal !! hope you enjoy plumi.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONFUSED ON WHATS THE PROMPT!! Check out Plumipals' yan twst tattoo au. Then this could probably more sense!
Also probably OOC??
TW;; Aww angst :((, pfft no I’m not biased w jamil, DEESSPPERATE BOYS, Jamil crying, Sad Azul, Emotionless(?) Rook, all of them hating on the tattoo, Bad grammar?, Rook watching you sleep, Rook's part is a bit short maybe.
JAMIL VIPER 🐍
That damn tattoo.. that stupid tattoo. He hates it so much, he hates it so so bad. Why? Why did you have to put that stupid thing on you?
And what’s even worse is that it’s because of HIS overblot. It’s because of him that you got that horrible mark on your wrist.
It’s all he can think about, all he can think about is that tattoo. He feels like he’s going crazy, like he’s about to overblot.
again.
He just can’t take it, he can’t! It’s always on his mind. You looked so happy, smiling, when you confirmed that you had that tattoo. You even showed it to him as if it was the greatest decision you made..
He just wishes that oh so beautiful smile was engraved in his brain. And not that horrible tattoo.
Poor Jamil, he can’t sleep at all. His eye bags are so visible under his eyes. He couldn't eat properly either, he couldn't bring himself to stand up and get fresh air. Whats even more annoying is that Kalim has been questioning if he's fine
Jamil just simply scoffed and told him he was fine. But really he wasn’t, you probably hate him don’t you? You probably despise him to the point where you don’t wanna see him.
Well actually, you don’t, he just can’t bear to see you. Whenever he does all he can focus on is the tattoo on your wrist. It pains him so bad for being the reason of it.
Seeing you would just make him cry right on the spot, he feels so worthless and horrible.
He couldn’t take it anymore, so he started to avoid you. Like that was a good idea..
It just only made things worse than they were before, Jamil also came to a realization that he can’t live another day without seeing you.
Yes, he does hate the fact that he’s the reason you got the tattoo. But he also hates the fact of not being able to be with you. He wants to spend every second of his life with you.
Literally like a week later you were met face to face with a Jamil who looked so close to crying. He looked like a wreck, unlike the usual stoic and independent Jamil you’re used to seeing.
"Y/n.." he called out to you his eyes stuck on the ground.
"Jamil.." You answered him. How did it get this bad? You put your hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong? I haven't seen you all week.. and now you suddenly appear in front of me looking like a mess.. no offense.”
Jamil balled up his fists, the hand that you put on his shoulder was the same hand where the tattoo was in. He hated it. He shut his eyes tightly wanting the image of that tattoo out of his brain.
"Jamil?" you called out for him once more.
Opening his eyes, now staring at you directly into your eyes. You could see the tears threatening to fall.
"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Y/n." he stammered "Please don't hate me."
"Jamil- why would I-"
"That tattoo.. it was because of me, its my fault isn't it? You despise me don't you." sniffling he grabs your other hand gently pushing the other one off of his shoulder.
He pulls your hand up to his face, your palm cupping his cheek. "I need you Y/n, I need you to love me as much as I do. I'm not second to those two right?" he continued tears slowly falling down his cheeks a smile creeping up his face.
It wasn’t because of happiness though.
"I'll be better, I promise, I'll make sure I change- anything you want from me, its yours. Just please.. please choose me."
AZUL ASHENGROTTO 🐙
When he first heard about the tattoo he couldn't believe it. He refused to believe it! You surely haven't marked yourself with those' idiots symbols, right?
You wouldn't.. yeah! Those rumours are just rumours. Theres a big chance they aren't true anyway. He would only believe them if he see's it for himself!
So for the first few days he was fine.. still overthinking. But he's just being paranoid! It's just a thing that.. will simply pass.
That was until he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to silence those thoughts, they were so noisy. He invites you into Mostro Lounge's VIP room.
He asks about the tattoo and you confirm the rumours were true. You even had the audacity to roll up your sleeve and show it off proudly.
Fucking ouch, he felt his heart shatter at that point. He wishes that he just let those voices in his head be.
"I- I see, good to know you have.. such amazing friends." he spoke bitterly with a smile. shit- he stuttered.. hope you didn't notice it..
He clears his throat, are tears forming in his eyes? He has to hold it in.. He can't look like a loser. Not in front of you..
He asks you to leave.. which he rarely does. His excuse being that he has a lot of work to do. But actually, he just wants to lock himself up and never go out again.
When you leave the tears start flowing. His elbow on his desk, while his fingers massage his temple. The papers on his desk were getting soggy, but he doesn’t care.
He could recover those papers but it would probably take so much for you to remove those stupid tattoos. Do you hate him? He thought that you and him already made up from his overblot..
He's been stuck in his office for such a long time. He's put Jade in charge for now. He needs time for himself…
The longer hes stuck in there the more he thinks about that horrid tattoo. It's stuck in his mind, and it’s torturing him. He can't let anyone else see this. He can't allow anyone to see him as a stupid little crybaby.
He just wants to sink back into his octopot..
But then an idea pops in his head.. he should think of ways to maybe, earn your favor and get his own tattoo too. Thats the perfect idea!
He tries to make up a contract but all of his ideas go to the trash. They're all so horrible! No way you'd sign these..
They're just not perfect enough for you! Most of them seem childish.. and probably stupid. If he gave one of these to you then you'd probably see him as an idiot!
"No.. no.. no..! None of these contracts are good enough!" he crumpled up the contract he was holding it and threw it into the pile across the room.
How isn't he enough for you!? Why did you have to choose those two! He's- He's your friend too right? He'll do anything for you!
So why.. why did you just have to get a tattoo of them?
He starts crying again, how many times has he cried? He's not sure. He continues to sob covering his face with his eyes.
"Prefect would never love a stupid octopus like me.."
ROOK HUNT 🏹
He stares down at your sleeping figure, your tattooed wrist exposed right in front of him. What is that, mon amour? A tattoo?
Oh! how beautiful, why hasn't he heard you talking about it though?
Oh well, at least hes the first one to see it. He bends down smiling inspecting the tattoo closer.
It reminds him of something.. no actually, someone- hold on, Deuce and Ace?
..Did you seriously get a tattoo of them? W-well, its beautiful! The beauty of friendship is truly amazing. Your bond between Ace and Deuce is truly something!
But why did you have to mark your skin with those symbols though? Couldn't it be something better? Like his name, or maybe something that reminds you of him..
He's your friend too isn't he? So why didnt you get a tattoo for him too?.. He's done so much to make you happy!
He's always tried to keep you safe too.. And to always give you gifts and appreciate for the things you have done when nobody did.
So why didn't you get a tattoo of him too?
Yes he knows! Ace and Deuce have been there longer than him.. But he could treat you better than they ever could..
...
he isn't sure how to feel about this.
So for that night he leaves early going back to pomefiore.
For the next few weeks you notice that Rook has been really silent. You dont feel like anyone's watching you either.
You haven't heard Rook's praises about love in a while either.. so something must be wrong with him. You invite him to Ramshackle so you could help him cheer up.
Rook is oh so grateful, he would be singing praises about your generosity if he wasn't so down at the moment. Rook needs you. Rook wants you to like him to the point you'd get him a tattoo of him also.
Rook finds himself laying his head on your lap his arms wrapped around your waist while kneeling on the ground. You gently run your fingers through his soft silky blonde hair.
Rook sniffled and looked up at you, and you could see a single tear form in his eye.
"My heart yearns for your favor, mon amour. I wish to be as loved as much as you love Monsieur Heart and Monsieur Spade. But It seems that you haven't noticed that yet." he whispered, his voice hoarse.
You tilted your head to the side slightly. You didn’t hear him clearly and ask him to repeat what he said.
He would’ve, but he just doesn’t feel like answering so he looked away from your eyes. You understood and went back to patting him gently.
He takes a deep breath in burry his head back into your stomach. "You’re so cruel, yet I still love you. The things I do for love." The things he does for you. He would do anything for you.
"I've never let anyone see me in this vulnerable state.” You’re so cruel, but he will still love you. No matter what, he will wait for you to love him back.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
BAM DONE. I had a little fun writing this honestly, silly little break. Thanks for reading up to this point. Sorry for the grammatical errors..
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meo-eiru · 3 days
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Hihihiii :3 Hope you're having a great day author!
This is my first direct interaction in this website generally speaking, so what better way to start than rambling my head off about the twink slutty baby? YES. Lavi. That cute whore that's been on my mine for a good while now...I want to kiss him, want him to cuddle me so bad grrrr I want to rim his pretty ass and use it as my only life source for the rest of my mortal existence. I want to follow every single one of his instructions on how to please him while he guides me with that shit eating smug grin '>:3'. I totally see him as a power bottom, riding my strap effortlessly while he pins me down telling me how much of a pathetic virgin I am and how fortunate I am to even be touching him, how lucky I am that he's willing to teach me how to make him feel good, how he'd laugh once I'm exhausted and he keeps nonchalantly bouncing still with his endless incubi stamina...MMMM...But also, I want to hit his ribs each time he throws an annoying tauntrum, or make him whimper each time he breaks something expensive, I want to sneak into his phone and watch just all the dozens of porn he has in his gallery along with his search history, I need to make him cry so hard until we're both doubting who's the real pervert here...I NEED to peg him. I NEED to spank his cute jiggling ass until it's red and sore. I need to make him deepthroath my strap and perhaps give me head. I NEED to grope his cute small chest and nurse on his rosy nipples while he tries to make a teasing remark only to be interrupted by his own lewd moans. I NEED to watch how all that lube and cum slowly leaks out of his puffy hole with profane sounds while spreading his supple asscheeks further apart as he whines and mewls begging for more. I NEED to cuddle him from behind while I finger his thight whorish asshole, I NEEEED to give him some genuine, gentle love-making while kissing his pretty face and cooing sweet nothings into his ears while he grabs onto my neck thightly saying shamelessly how good it feels.
I want to give him goodnight kisses on the forehead, cheeks, nose, eyes, tummy and finally his soft lips. I want to feel him clinging onto me with his limbs (and tail of course) while we sleep, even better if he craddles my head on his chest. I might even forgive his murders if he promises to be a good boy with a pretty pout even though he'd probably be crossing his fingers behind his back. I want to do each other's hair and nails. I want him to listen to the music I listen to (Rabbit Hole by DECO27 would be SO him). I want to see his deadpaned and disdainful face when I tell him all my bad jokes. I want to go out with him at those aesthetic cafés and buy him everything he wants even if I won't be able to buy anything else for a while. I want us to get matching couple cheesy things. I want us to do lovey dovey stuff together and maybe a kiss that doesn't end up looking out of a hentai. A wholesome one. I want him to live on my lap. I want him to try make him wear decente clothes from time to time. I want to see his reaction once my mortal life comes to an end. (If he cries and gets depressed he'll look so pretty but if he laughs he'll also look so pretty). I want to show him off to my friends even if I know he's probably the type that types 'uwu', ':3' or 'nya~' either satirically or not. I would bear the cringe for him. I want to send him memes and reels and, overall, just hear his laugh because I'm sure it would be gorgeous just like him. <3
He literally lives rent free in my mind this is a call for help. I crave for more Lavi content.
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I'm not horny. You are.
Anyway, thanks for the constant posting! I love how you write your characters and draw/paint! You're one of my favorite artists. Eat well and have a good day/night. :)
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Oh my dear GOD this was a ROLLER COASTER
I don't even know where to start. Alright so first of all, this is so deliciously written omg??? You made me put Lavi on a plate and eat him I bet he'd taste like cake. The contrast between the wholesome parts and the extremely unholy parts were crazy I felt like I was in a car that randomly speeds up and down
Rabbit hole is indeed very Lavi, the animation fits him so well as well. If I knew how to make them I'd definitely draw a Lavi version. And yes he's definitely the type who'd type "uwu" and ">:3" unironically
THE DRAWINGS ARE SO CUTE AS WELL!! HE LOOKS SO ADORABLE LOOK AT HIS CUTE LITTLE FACE AND CUTE BUTT
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Gavin x Reader Part 6!
Morning nuzzles before breakfast…
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I had a request to post an update and I had only a bit of editing left so here we go, I hope this brightens your day!
co-written with CheshireCatSmile
@kus-babygirl @shirley-girly @jynx15 @everchar-of-the-shire @scraftsku35
@vavafaure1994 @deathlesun @sickforbillybutcher @butchers-girl @hippo2211
@bohemianblasphemy
karl urban masterlist
direct link to part 1
part 5
warning: very brief mention of past bad relationship
6.
Gavin shifts to start unzipping his sleeping bag. You move a little so he can take yours too and zip them together, shivering again, but this time because of the cooling air. “And you’re sure you don’t mind I come with a whole truck load of baggage?” you ask. It wasn’t your plan to get involved with anyone but it feels so good to have someone actually seem to care about you. But you don’t think you can handle being hurt again.
"I have baggage myself. I usually rush headlong into everything, but...this…I want to build something special. If you do, too.”
You nod and bite your lip. You know there’s so much more to him than what he thinks and you’ve always admired his determination and strength, even if he made mistakes in the past. Some never do anything for themselves and only tear others down and in your opinion that’s far worse than his faults. The rain is still tapping on the tent and nothing sounds better than curling up with him. When the sleeping bags are joined, you slip in and stretch out, watching him, and not minding the glimpse of his strong masculine legs as he moves around.
He slides into the sleeping bag beside you zipping it up so you're both inside tucked away cozy and warm. He has an innate heat coming from him and you can't help but be drawn to it. When he gathers you into his arms you can't help just melting against his body. 
"I can't believe how perfectly you fit against me,” he murmurs low and soft.
You bury your face against the soft henley covering his broad chest, making a quiet little sound. He’s right. Nothing has ever felt like this before. You want to say something back but you’re already drifting off and within a few moments you’ve fallen asleep. At first you’re not sure what disturbs you, but then you realize a low roll of thunder from off in the distance sparked a nightmare that woke you and for a second you can’t remember where you are as your body jerks awake.
Gavin’s arms tighten around you and he murmurs, his voice gruff with sleep. "It's alright sweetheart; you're safe. Just a bad dream. I've gotcha."
You blink rapidly in the dark, but Gavin’s low voice makes you remember immediately where you are. You take a breath. Safe, in his arms. And he feels so good. You close your eyes but your heart is still beating fast and you know it’s going to take a minute before it starts to slow.
"That thunder's just gettin’ to you, that's all." Soon the rain starts a steady drumming on the tent's thick canvas roof.  His large warm hand begins rubbing your back soothingly.  "I can still feel your heart pounding sweetheart. You don't need to worry. I'll keep you safe.” You can feel his breath warm and ruffling your hair lightly.
His hand on your back feels so good. You feel like you already know him so well and know you’re safe with him. After awhile you fall asleep easily again and sleep better than you have in years. When you wake, your face is buried against the curve of his neck and before you realize what you’re doing in your half asleep state, you nuzzle there softly against his skin.
A low hum comes from deep in his throat and he tightens his hold on you again, dragging you close to his body.  "Mmm...that feels good. darlin’. A sweet thing to wake up to." He rubs at your back again then rests his hand on your hip, squeezing softly, steady and warm.
You freeze for a moment as you wake fully and realize what you’re doing. Slow. Slow, you tell yourself again. With 5 more days of this trip left alone with him though you have a feeling that is not going to happen. Every part of him feels so good and you feel like if that big, strong hand started sliding under your shirt right now you would be nothing but exuberant. 
Carefully you shift back a little so you’re not completely on top of him and take a breath of the crisp morning air trying not to think about the two of you naked in this sleeping bag. But suddenly you remember what had happened during the night. Your cheeks heat as you think about how silly it was to have nightmares and be scared of thunder. “Sorry about last night,” you murmur softly. “My ex broke in once, before I moved…so sometimes I’m a little on edge at night, I guess.”
He's quiet for a long moment. "That's awful. I didn't realize how much you'd been through. No woman should have to live with that kind of fear. You certainly don't need to apologize." He presses his lips against your forehead in a tender kiss.
Your eyes sting with his kindness, it’s overwhelming to you and you don’t really know why you told him that, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. You nod mutely and take a breath then slip away from him to stretch tight muscles. “I suppose we should get going.”
He catches your eyes with his own as you look up at him. There's still a myriad of emotions there but something you recognize as…respect? "I can't believe what it must have taken to pull yourself together and pick up to start a new life someplace completely different. That's incredibly brave."
You shrug a little but a small smile tugs at your lips. “I didn’t really have a choice. So I just kept going. But thank you.” His hazel eyes swirl with color and you could get lost there forever if you let yourself.
“You're among friends now. And we don't take kindly to anyone trying to hurt one of our own."  He glances up at the top of the tent. I suppose you're right...we should get going while we have a break in the weather." He looks back at you and smiles softly then tucks your hair behind your ear gently.
For a moment all you can think about is pulling him back into bed on top of you, but instead you turn your head to kiss his palm. “What’s for breakfast?”
He chuckles as he shifts to unzip the sleeping bags.  "A girl who keeps sight of the important things in life." He gets up from the warm fabric and quickly pulls his jeans on. "I'll go get coffee started."
In a short time, as you're pulling yourself together for the day, you smell the heavenly scent of coffee wafting into the tent.  "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes, " he calls into the tent.
You pull your sweatshirt on and shift to climb out of the tent. Sitting in the open doorway, you pull your boots on and look up to find Gavin crouched by the fire, his jeans molded around his ass and you end up staring as you tie your laces until suddenly your stomach grumbles.
He looks over his shoulder grinning at you. "Sounds like last nights dreams worked up an appetite." He beckons you over to the fire and hands you a plate with pancakes and bacon and you wonder how the heck he managed that and coffee too so quickly.
“Oh my gosh,” you smile. “How did you do all this?” He pours some syrup over your pancake and you take a big bite, humming appreciatively. It’s really good. “It’s amazing Gavin, you’re going to spoil me…”
He smiles at you. "Maybe it's time you had some of that in your life." He sits down beside you and takes a bite of his own pancake. Even the campfire coffee is good. His leg is just barely brushing yours as you sit beside each other.
“Mmmm I love bacon…” you murmur, and he’s cooked it perfectly, crisp and hot. Then you pick up your camp mug and sip the dark coffee slowly, savoring then flavor on your tongue. “You better be careful or I might just show up at your house every morning,” you joke.
"Now that's a pleasant thought," he chuckles and winks at you. He's quiet then for a moment. He looks at the fire and says softly, "Though it was nice having you in my arms when I woke up this morning." The way his voice drops low makes you want him with every fiber of your being.
“It was very nice,” you agree, a little breathless. “Except for the thunder I don’t remember the last time I slept that well.” Your mind drifts back to the night before, him pulling you close and kissing you like he couldn’t get enough. You wonder if you can get a replay of it tonight.
Breaking your thoughts, he leans toward you and steals a quick, soft kiss before getting up to quickly take care of the breakfast dishes. He pours the last of the coffee into your mug and smiles at you then continues with his task, drying everything and putting it away in his pack. “I'm going to take the tent down, you just enjoy your coffee."
“Gavin, really, you should have at least let me clean the dishes,” you sigh softly knowing that’s going to be an argument you’re going to lose. But you figure you might as well accept it for now and settle back to enjoy watching him. “I owe you one.”
"I'll keep that in mind," he says with a charming grin that causes his dimple to show. He's so efficient tearing down the tent and packing everything away in his pack. You at least rinse your cup and dry it off to hand to him before gathering up the few things you still have to pack.
It’s not long before you are all packed up and you head out a bit further to survey more of the land that will be part of the cut and then off to the west so you can document the saplings from 3 years ago. It was late midday when the clouds started to roll in again. “Maybe we should have headed to our next camping spot sooner,” you comment, but you really wanted to get all that work done.
"Yeah...there was another area a little farther in I wanted to take a look at too. If you don't mind spending a little extra time...I know you probably have work piling up. But if it’s okay with you?"  He studies you a moment then walks over and adjusts your pack on you so the weight is more even.
“Oh, I don’t mind at all. We have our raincoats after all. I should be able to get a cell signal at the cabin to answer a few emails, but I won’t have any trouble catching up on work when we get back. I know you wanted to make some repairs at the cabin as well and I can work on the reports.”
"Okay, that sounds great. Ready?" He caresses your cheek softly before turning to start up the trail. After hiking steadily for about half an hour he stops and pulls an old map out of a pocket and studies it a moment. "I think it's this way," he catches you when you start off too quick and stumble over an old root system from the ancient adjoining trees. He holds onto you a little longer than absolutely necessary then makes sure you have your footing and starts off again.
This time he takes your hand in his, warm and strong and steady and you almost melt. You walk for a little bit longer until he finds the spot but you realize you are near a ridge and you go over to find an amazing view over a valley of evergreens below.
"It's beautiful isn't it? Now...I think there's a meadow...oh, right here! It should be right...oh my God, it's real!"  
~.~.~.~
Next up: a little bit of magic enhances the romantic atmosphere ❤️ Let me know what you think!
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jealousmartini · 2 days
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hi! i saw ur post where u mention age change with loa and could u talk more about that? cause i just turned 20, but i wanna be 17 again just so i can experience teenage things (i had depression and extreme social anxiety my whole teenagehood). i wanna feel young and do things right, apply everything i know now to this time in my life cause i can't help but feeling so old speacially since i have zero "firsts", like i'm 20 and no first crush or first kiss (ik it's not the end of the world, but i want back the expirences i was stolen from). i don't wanna over-explain myself nor trauma dump on u, but basically i just wanna start over yk? i know nothing is impossible to loa, truly know, but this one wish makss me insecure cause that will mean i was born in 2007 instead of 2004 and my old classmates werent really my classmates which is okay cause i never liked them but instead i had different ones that i don't know? i don't know if i'm making sense here, sorry to be asking u these things but ur the only person i've seen talking about age change so i'll be very thankful to anything u have to say to me. hope u have a good day :)
This ask unironically made me frown, like so hard, knowing that manifesters like you have to ask if starting over is okay because of the heavy misrepresentation and misunderstanding of manifesters and shifters who age change.
My love, OF COURSE you can. I cannot believe we have come to the point, on the interent as a whole, that people feel that they need to ask permission on what to do with THEIR LIVES, because the all high and mighty LOA police feel like they have the right to dictate what others should and shouldn't do with their lives.
And God forbid you don't obey them because then they'll throw every derogatory name, they'll diagnose you with every mental illness they want to insult you with (that they don't even understand), they'll assume that utmost worst about you, and take to their side of the community to shame you infront of them all. It's genuinely appalling.
Which is why I finally reminded myself a couple years ago that these people are not my mum. I have free will to do what I want with MY LIFE and whatever they say are nothing more than opinions that I can literally choose to listen to or to ignore. I refuse to fall into the trap of giving power, MY power away to outsiders and let them control me because real talk now, what are they actually going to do? At the end of the day they can cry, shout, rip their hair out on camera an tell me how insne I am for not having the same views as them, but none of that's stopping me from sleeping with their mum AND dad in another reality
Long story short, my answer is yes, you can start over and change the year you were born hun. You can do whatever you want because this is your call. Do what YOU want, not whatever the LOA police deems acceptable by their beliefs
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stellocchia · 3 days
Text
Killer being incredibly touch-starved is something I've been thinking about for a while. We know very little about monster biology, let alone Killer's who's something in between, so I'm gonna base this on the effect of touch deprivation in the real world (which, yes, is a very real and highly studied thing. And no, the people using it as an excuse for why they're 'owed sex' are still full of shit, because to the human brain the kind of touch, as long as it's positive and well received, doesn't make a difference).
Killer, for his whole time with both Chara and Nightmare, is deprived of any positive touch. Nightmare stabbing him and forcefully manipulating his soul certainly doesn't count as positive, and most Chara did was cut him up for fun (and out of curiosity).
There is a chance for him to receive some affection in an expanded Nightmare's gang situation, as I refuse to believe that people stuck in such awful conditions together would not develop a certain degree of closeness. Still, they live under Nightmare, so they probably cannot afford to indulge in any form of comfort too much. And I don't doubt that, in such a tense situation, fights would also break out often. Meaning he'd most likely get more gaster blasters to the face than pats on the back.
With that out of the way, here are some of the symptoms Killer may experience:
Overwhelming loneliness
Strong cravings for affection
Feelings of depression
Anxiety
Heightened levels of Stress
Difficulty sleeping
Attachment avoidance patterns
He'd also most likely do things to emulate the feeling of touch like cuddling his cats a lot, laying under whatever heavy thing he can find, and taking hot showers/baths. After all, this is Killer we're talking about. These are a lot of feelings and uncomfortable sensations that are entirely out of his control, he's definitely gonna try and reign them in.
I do think that, of course, this would affect every Stage differently. And they'd probably go about dealing with it differently.
Stage 1 would have a conflicted relationship with touch. On one hand, it's hard for him to keep from showing the discomfort he's feeling due to the touch deprivation. On the other, he also always struggles with feelings of guilt regarding the fact that, in his mind, he put himself in this situation. He probably wouldn't think he deserves to feel better. And definitely wouldn't outright ask for a hug or to hold hands unless he was desperate.
He'd probably try to deal with it quietly. Probably running the shower as hot as it can get and hoping it gets rid of the itch in his bones. He has probably begged both Chara and Nightmare for affection before, though I doubt that ended well. I think Chara just pushed him away in Disgust, Nightmare probably made him regret asking.
I feel like later on with Color he's probably gonna need constant reassurances and frequent gentle reminders that he can ask for a hug whenever. And, if that feels like too much, he can sit close to Color, shoulder to shoulder. They can hold hands, and, when that feels like too much, they can interlock pinkies. There are ways for them to navigate around this. And I think Color would be happy to help from the get-go with him.
Meanwhile, with Stage 2 I've always felt like they probably dislike touch (something something they don't allow themselves to show any degree of vulnerability and never let go of control. Both things that would happen if they indulge in any amount of physical affection). To be clear, this does not mean that they're immune to the consequences of touch deprivation, it just means that dealing with them will be even harder for them.
During their time with Chara and Nightmare they'd probably use a lot of the good old "gaslighting themselves into thinking that everything is okay" method. Similarly to how they did with convincing themselves that they actually enjoy being hurt on the regular, eventually, they'd probably start believing it. Also, they'd be highly reliant on their cats if they have any around. Cuddling them does soothe a lot of the symptoms for quite a while, and those little balls of fur at least are not gonna backstab them.
Even once they're with Color, I still feel like Stage 2 would rather cuddle with animals than with other monsters or humans. They'd just be far more free to do so without the threat of Nightmare killing those little critters hanging over their head. Also! A lot of types of dance and stuff like theater can help stave off the touch starvation in a way that may feel more comfortable to them. In a lot of those situations, there's a ton of touch involved, but as they'd be able to remain professional about it, it would probably feel less like giving up control and showing weakness than the alternative of being physically affectionate with Color.
Stage 3 is an interesting one. I feel like it would be the most open to admitting (at least to itself) that they have an issue. However, to solve said issue would mean putting the body in danger and that's not something it's willing to do.
Still, it would try to mitigate the discomfort as much as it can. Trying to find soft things to wrap the body up tightly with. Trying to find small places where it can feel somewhat compressed. It would never try to ask either Nightmare or Chara for help. Ever. It hates them with a burning passion and, besides, it's fully aware that, whatever is wrong with them, is most likely the fault of those two.
It probably also would regard Color with distrust at first, but, eventually, as it comes to trust him, it probably would be more than happy to get some cuddles in with him. I do think its favorite thing would be to sleep all curled up around one another in whatever safe den it has built. And, of course, as it builds trust with more people, those people are gonna be let in too. Though that's gonna take time, because for Stage 3 to trust anyone, Stage 2 and Stage 1 have to trust them first.
Stage 4 my boy... it's suffering. Not only can it not remember any instances of kindness, however rare, the other 3 may have received, but it is also the one that would struggle the most receiving any kind of genuine help even after running away with Color. And, before that, it basically just gets treated like a dog. Though, no matter how much he'd want it, the treat for a job well done is never a hug or a pat on the head for it. Usually, it's just it being allowed some basic necessities like water, food, maybe even sleep if things went particularly well.
And it wouldn't try to soothe any of its needs by itself. Just like it doesn't eat, drink, or sleep if it's not explicitly allowed. If Nightmare or Chara wanted it to get a hot shower or some cuddles from its feline friends, they would have said it. Since they didn't clearly it's against the will of the Players, as they're the Players' mouthpieces. The same would go for Color not saying anything.
And, here's the thing, Color would struggle to show kindness to Stage 4 at first. Both because it starts off as hostile as it doesn't initially recognize him as an owner and because there is something fundamentally unsettling about a being so divorced from humanity and monsterkind wearing the face of his friend. Stage 4's biggest downfall is the fact that it is so other that even the kindest souls would struggle to not dehumanize it. It was created to be a tool and it doesn't recognize itself as anything more than that, so others often fall into the trap of doing the same.
Anyway, Stage 4 would straight-up weep the first time it gets a hug. And, seeing that, Color would undoubtedly feel like shit for ever thinking that Stage 4 wasn't just as lonely, hurt, and deserving of kindness as the other Stages.
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anangelinthepit · 6 hours
Text
Without You…
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Warning ⚠️ - abuse. Please don't read if these topics make you uncomfortable.
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Part 5
Y/N’s POV
The car ride was silent the rest of the way after that horrific interaction. Little did I know that was only a glimpse of the punishment that was waiting for me at home. When we pulled up to the house, there was a new security gate installed along with some very high-tech cameras. One thing about Noah is if he didn’t have to spend money on it he wouldn’t, and the fact that I cost him a pretty penny just puts me in a deeper hole. I looked over and saw Noah staring directly at me. He must have been keeping his eye on me the entire time and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he didn’t even blink.
I grabbed my purse and got out of the limo with Noah right behind me grabbing my arm.
“Wherever I go, you go. If I can’t be there, Nick or Davis will be. Understand?”
Squeezing my arm to make sure I heard him loud and clear, I shook my head in agreement and tried to wipe my tears away. I couldn’t stop them, it was like a waterfall of pure misery and despair falling from my eyes. He yanked me into the house abd forced me to go up the stairs to our bedroom, as I looked behind me I could see Nick staring at us and Davis trying to get him to unclench his first. I mouthed “It’s okay” in hopes it would bring some comfort. We got to our room and Noah aggressively shoved me in as if he just caught a firefly in a jar. As I stumbled over my feet I heard the door close and lock behind him.
“Noah I understand you are mad at me, but you need to stop grabbing me the way you d-“
Before I knew it, a sharp sting was kissing my cheek causing me to fall back on the bed.
“You listen to me and you listen good. I make the fucking rules around here, you just obey. Understand!”
I looked up at him and held my cheek, if I wasn’t in such a fragile state I would have fought back. Instead, I quietly agreed. I sat there on the bed with even more tears welding up in my eyes. So much for “I’ll never hurt you”
Noah went over and pulled his pack of cigarettes out. He was gonna light one in front of me until the realization hit him.
Letting out a sigh of exhaustion and running his fingers through his hair, he tossed his lighter on the dresser and looked at me
“I’m sorry.” He said looking down
Hm. Like I haven’t heard that one before.
“I know”
“No, I am sorry Ruby. I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t take it back now but I truly am sorry.”
“I understand”
I know this is all bullshit but I don’t want to poke the bear any more than I already have.
“You need to realize that this isn’t a game Ruby, I know you’re more than aware of where our money comes from and what I do for work. I also know that you indeed stand how dangerous my line of work is. Right?”
“Yes”
“Yes? Okay so then you should know that there are people out there who want to hurt you. Pregnant or not they will do what they want. Those men could have done the absolute worse to you Ruby, and wouldn’t have lost sleep over it.”
“Why is that Noah?”
“Why is what?”
“Why do these men want to hurt me and not you?
“Because…”
The hesitation in his tone and voice even confused me. What is it? Why wouldn’t they just hurt Noah directly?
“Noah?”
“Because they know you’re the only good thing left in me in this fucked up world I created.”
There it is. Big scary mafia man does have a heart. Instead of finding the cigarette, Noah grabbed his victory whiskey and took a huge gulp from the bottle. It’s almost like what he’s about to tell me next is gonna end his macho lifestyle.
“You were right Ruby, I knew what I was doing. All those times I cheated, all those times I came home and was cold to you. Baby, I fucked my world and took you down with me. I know you can’t forgive me, but all I’m asking is for you to stay with me and try. Fuck we aren’t perfect babe, but the love we got can withstand anything.”
I looked up at him and was met with sad heartfelt eyes. Why does he have to be so sweet to me now after all the damage he’s done? After all the damage I’ve done. I can never forgive myself and if he found out, well he would forgive me by putting flowers over my grave. We both have messed up in the past, but the decision I made is gonna haunt me forever.
I held my face in my hands, wishing all of this was a dream. Who do I love? Who do I belong to? Are they both just as equally toxic? Where do I go from here? God please help me, my mind is racing, and I feel like I’m gonna pass out.
I felt a warm loving touch on my stomach and Noah's fingertips gently caressing my chin to face him.
“Ruby, I love you so much fucking much. You are the mother of my child and my entire world. We can make this right again. Just please, please don’t ever leave me. Okay? I will make it so you and Theo don’t ever have to worry about being hurt. I swear to you on our marriage. Let me be the man you deserve. Let me be your protector Y/N”
My heart is fucking breaking and my head is spinning like a carousel. The words “my protector” made me break out in a cold sweat all over my body. I've heard them before.
“Y/N I can't be your protector.”
But it wasn’t Noah who said it to me, it was Nick. On the lonely night where I confided in him after Noah up and left to go sleep with his whores. My bed and heart were so lonely and Nick filled that void. What have I done?
I could feel myself floating, almost like I was levitating onto a cloud. Something was wrong but I couldn’t speak.
“Ruby?”
The room is getting darker and my thoughts are becoming could
“Baby? What’s wrong.”
“Noah.. help me.”
The last thing I could hear was Noah screaming for Davis and Nick to call an ambulance and my entire world went dark.
My dream was peaceful yet quick. I was floating in the water but could breathe. When I looked up I could see the chaos happening above me but was unbothered because the water was keeping me safe. The ocean kept me safe. What was my dream telling me? Should I unfold the chaos that awaits me or stay safe in the cool dark ocean?
Grogginess lingered in my mind as I began to open my eyes. The smell of strong disinfectant and crisp air filled my nose. Where am I?
“Y/N”
“Am I in Heaven?”
“Angel.”
No, Heaven is not an option for me anymore.
I fully came to and was met with a worried Nick sitting at my bedside.
“Nick? What happened?”
I tried to get up but my head felt like it was full of cement.
“Easy Angel, you passed out. The doctor said it was some type of dizzy spell. He also said your sugar was extremely low. Have you not been eating?” Nick said gently pushing me back down
I looked around and gave Nick a puzzling stare.
“No, I have, it’s just I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.”
I was going to relax until I realized something. I don’t remember if I fell on my back or my stomach. Sheer panic came over me and I almost threw myself out of the bed to make sure I wasn’t bleeding.
“Oh god! Theo! My baby !”
“Angel relax, please. He’s okay.”
“No what if something happened? How will I know? Nick my baby!”
Nick grabbed my face and tried to get me to steady my breathing. I’ve seen so many horror stories where women suffer a loss even though they can still see and hear the heartbeat.
“Y/N the baby is okay.”
My breathing started to slow down until Nick reminded me of the decision I would have to live with for the rest of my life.
“Our baby is okay.”
I pushed him off of me and tried to erase that beautiful haunting memory.
“Nick. Don’t.” I said raising my hand at him
“Angel I can’t keep pretending, he treats you like absolute garbage and even went as far as flipping a table at you. How long are you going to make me sit by and watch while he abuses you?”
“Nick this was your fucking idea. You’re the one who told me we didn’t need to tell him and that you’ll let him raise the baby as his own. We are two adults who made a decision that is going to bind us for the rest of our lives. If we tell Noah that Theo isn’t his, we aren’t going to see the rest of our lives. Got it?”
“Angel please, I fucking love you. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? I was doing this for you so he wouldn't hurt you but he still is. Baby we can run away from all of this. I'm one of his trackers so I'll make sure to go where he can't find us.”
“Nick, get away from me,” I said scooching up in my bed.
I pushed him away once again, what the hell is this man thinking? I'm about to be 7 months pregnant, and I already tried the runaway stunt. Look where it fucking got me. It's like he hasn’t been paying attention. I began to feel aggravated that he would even suggest something so dangerous.
“Nick you have to let the both of us go. If you care about my and your baby’s well-being like you say you do, then you'll be the good little henchmen my husband hired and keep your mouth shut. We have to pretend and I'm sorry it has to end like this. I belong to Noah and now so does this baby. This was your fucking idea, so please try to remember that.”
Nick got up and faced away from me. I know my words hurt him but I have to be this way. It’s for the best for all 3 of us.
“As you wish Mrs. Davis.”
“Good, go get my husband and get the fuck out of my sight.”
The tears fell with each word that came out of my mouth. Our eyes met one last time exchanging the words “I love you” Maybe in a perfect world we could be together and have our baby. Relive those beautiful nights where we could lay under the sheets being tangled up in each other embrace. Talking about our future and if fate would allow us to create one together I would give everything to have that but this isn't my world….
Its Noah’s
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This storybisnstartin gro become my guilty pleasure. Short chapter but enjoy 🩵
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pleasantspark · 2 days
Text
Depression is a curse man.
The way its depicted in Hazbin Hotel as some, "UwU quirky dad making ducks to feel something" pisses me off. My depression is never taken serious by anyone so to have it mocked and ridiculed like that just doesn't make me any more proud.
I can barely fucking get up in the morning, eat, sleep. Do anything else but mope. I tell everyone my feelings and I feel like I am a burden to them. I am constantly being fed my depression. People give me praise but I don't know if it's true.
I cannot take this shit anymore man, I just want to end the sadness end the suffering. When I am not so close to the edge I feel happy, but it comes back again what's the point in being happy if everyone's gonna tell me to suck it up?
The fucking mental health clinics or even therapy does nothing but fill your head with hope. Hope that eventually you'd get better. These are just feelings rehab. They are not there to help you get cured.
Hazbin could have this level of shit where they can help someone but ultimately they relapse because that's how being a 20 year old unemployed bitch is.
I hate being alive sometimes. I feel like existence is just pointless. But yeah, depression is a joke guys, its not like it evovlves to wanting to throw yourself off a moving truck GUYS.
FFS, I'm done. I'm going back to writing.. OH WAIT I CANT
BECAUSE I AM TOO USELESS TO EVEN DO THAT!
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sophrosynesworld · 12 hours
Text
The Night Shift (Pt. 5)
Part one:
"Have you accepted that scholarship offer from U.A?"
You slow the steady swing of your legs, feet dragging lightly against the ground. "About that…" you murmur, staring ahead. "I don’t think I want to be a hero."
She laughs, but there's no real warmth in it. "Good one," she scoffs, rolling her eyes as her swing comes to a stop. She glances at you, half-expecting you to crack a smile. But when you don't, her expression changes. "Wait, you're serious?"
You look away, avoiding her eyes. "Yeah. I just… I don't think I fit in with those kids at U.A. I... um... It's not me."
She stares at you for a moment, frowning. "You're really not going? You have a chance to get out of here, and you're just gonna throw it away?"
"I don’t know." You shrug, more to yourself than to her. "No one really gets out."
You sigh, leaning back in the stiff, uncomfortable office chair. For a hospital, you'd think they’d at least give their staff some decent lumbar support. You kick your feet up onto the desk, muttering under your breath as the freezing temperatures in the room try to lull you back to sleep.
You close the patient chart in front of you, wincing as you accidentally tug on your IV tubing. With another sigh, you glance at the bag hanging overhead, silently begging for the Zofran to kick in. Must be the full moon. You think. Hero's seem to be affected the same way hospitals are. Normally, you manage a few dozen critical cases a week, but over the past two shifts alone, that number has nearly tripled.
Your heart races, caffeine thrumming through your veins like a drumbeat, probably enough to drop a zebra.
Another chip crunches in your mouth, recently stolen from Haruto's lunchbox. You savor the taste of your small victory. Sure, you could’ve just bought a bag from the vending machine, but there’s nothing quite as sweet as getting under that jerk’s skin.
The image of Katsuki from this morning flickers in your mind—the way his tongue poked out when he laughed, or how he'd sometimes fall quiet, just watching you. You pretended not to notice, stealing his coffee as he smirked and pushed it toward you.
Your chest tightens at the thought of him still out there, stubborn as ever, pushing through whatever pain he’s in. A part of you hopes he’s finally getting medical attention, letting someone patch him up—
Your lips pull into a frown at the thought of someone else tending to him. Heat rushes to your face as you catch yourself imagining it—your hands running down his ches—
Inappropriate.
You sink deeper into your chair, mentally scolding yourself for thinking about a patient like that.
"Phones back up yet?" an x-ray tech in navy scrubs asks as she approaches the nurses' station. The overworked nurse, juggling several emergency radios, barely looks up.
"Do you think I’m doing this for fun?" she groans in response, making the strawberry blonde tech wrinkle her nose in frustration.
"You know, you don't have to be such a bi-"
“Thirsty?” Rina asks, tossing a paperclip in your direction stealing your attention from the cat fight in front of you. “I’m heading to the cafeteria for coffee.”
You nod, setting your chips aside and unhooking yourself from the IV, leaving the access line in place. Together, you and Rina head down the hallway, swiping your access cards a few times before finally re-entering the main building.
“I can’t wait to see my bed,” Rina sighs as she steps into the elevator. “My shift was supposed to end like five hours ago.”
“I’ve never agreed with you more,” you reply, pressing the button for the cafeteria on the third floor.
"So… are you going to tell me about him?"
You roll your eyes, trying to keep cool, but the flush rising to your cheeks gives you away. "It's not like that."
Rina smirks knowingly. "Uh-huh, sure it's not. If you're hooking up with Dynamight, I have to know."
“Oh my god!” you squeal, smacking her arm playfully. “He’s a hero, Rina! He’s not interested in me like that.”
As the elevator doors open, you both step out, still bickering. An older woman passing by gives the two of you a withering glare, clearly not in the mood for your late-night energy.
Rina snickers, shaking her head. “Please, he was totally into you.”
The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air as you step through the glass doors into the cafeteria. You join the line, continuing your conversation while waiting. A few minutes later, drinks in hand, you find a table. Just as you’re about to sit down, a familiar face joins you—Airi, holding a bottle of green juice, plops into the chair next to yours.
“Are we talking about Dynamight?” Airi asks with a sly grin, clearly having overheard.
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “Oh, great. Now you too?”
“Come on, you can’t expect us not to talk about it,” Airi teases, swirling her juice. “This kind of thing doesn’t happen every day. I’m happy for you, honestly.”
Rina leans in, her grin widening. “See? Even Airi thinks he’s into you.”
You sigh, your defenses finally crumbling under their teasing. “He took me out to breakfast this morning,” you confess, reluctantly letting them in on the secret.
Both of them squeal in unison, grabbing each other’s arms in excitement, their reactions making your face heat up even more.
“I told you!” Rina says, practically bouncing in her seat.
“Already?” Airi adds, eyes wide with disbelief.
They talk over each other in a fit of excitement, barely able to contain themselves, while you sit there grinning like an idiot. When they finally calm down, they both lean in, nudging you to keep going.
"He was… nice," you say, feeling a little shy now that you’re actually talking about it.
Airi raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Dynamight is not nice."
“He is!” you insist, fully aware of his infamous reputation. But then again, you’ve seen sides of him others don’t. Maybe you’re not so different, both of you hiding layers behind tough exteriors.
Airi sips her drink, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Is it good?"
You tilt your head, confused. “Is what good?”
“The sex."
You nearly choke on your coffee, coughing as heat rushes to your face. "Is that all you horndogs think about?"
“When it’s a hot pro hero and our best friend? Absolutely," Rina answers without missing a beat, causing Airi to snort.
Rina nudges you again, a playful smirk on her lips. "Next thing we know, you’ll be patching him up—maybe at his place."
You roll your eyes, trying to suppress the grin tugging at your lips. The thought isn't exactly unappealing.
Airi’s eyes light up. " I’m having a house party next weekend. You should come,” she says with a wide grin.
You give her a skeptical look. “Aren't we a little too old for that?"
“Oh, come on, it’s going to be fun! Just a few close friends, good music, drinks, and maybe a little dancing. And you,” she adds, pointing at you dramatically. “You, my dear friend, are in desperate need of a night off.”
"She'll be there!" Rina accepts on your behalf, cutting off your half assed excuse to miss.
“Bring your new boyfriend,” Airi continues, her grin widening.
You nearly choke on your coffee—again. “He’s not my—! What?!”
Rina bursts out laughing at your flustered reaction, slapping the table. “Oh my God, your face!”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you finally manage to get out, glaring at Airi. “And he’s not coming.”
“Just think about it, okay?” Airi replies.
“I don’t think showing up at a house party with a pro hero is a good idea.”
“Who said anything about showing up with a pro hero?” Airi says, winking. “I just want to meet that hot guy you’re seeing."
You feel your face heating up. The idea of bringing him to a party, introducing him as someone you’re seeing—it’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. But maybe, it’s also kind of… nice?
“It’s a party, not a press conference,” Rina adds. “People will just think you’ve finally got a social life.”
“I should get back to work.” You stand, grabbing your now empty cup. The girls groan in protest, but you get the message loud and clear.
“Seriously? You’re leaving already?” Airi pouts, crossing her arms as she leans back in her chair. “We were just getting to the good part.”
“Yeah, we’re not done teasing you about your lover,” Rina teases, making exaggerated air quotes.
You roll your eyes, trying to hide your smile. “He’s not my boyfriend, and I really do have to go. Some of us have jobs that don’t involve harassing innocent people over coffee.”
You shake your head, pushing away your running thoughts. Work first, you remind yourself. The rest of it—whatever it is—can wait.
But as you walk to the trashcan, you can’t help but smile. Because maybe, just maybe, Airi and Rina are right. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to see where this goes.
Tags: @simplyraeblue @moonfloweronmars @kalulakunundrum @froggy-crystal @msjaeger @crystalssncw @dragonscribble @gina239 @abcdefbeom
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saltofmercury · 1 day
Text
"A cycle"
Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader
A/N: Originally was going to make it back to spring but I lost the energy. Also excuse the indent I lost my page break and could NOT insert it due to lack of patience!!!
Words: 2k
Summary: You meet Jason again... but he's a little off. Brief mention of AK! Jason.
It’s been roughly 10 years. 
—Almost 11 since you lost him. You remember his last words spoken, 
“I’ll see you… unless death comes first.”
Gloom had surrounded the city, it was supposed to be another normal day. But you started to get worried when he never called. Days trailed on and you assumed he stood you up. 
Your life is at a standstill, you missing your other half, your best friend. It isn’t until you get the news and the invitation to a funeral.
Death came first.
Days turn into months, years. 
The numbness never goes away, it just settles into your stomach, carefully simmering until it boils throughout your body, releasing—erupting emotion of him on the anniversary of his death.
Some days are harder than others and when you finally think you can go a day without thinking of 
“Unless death comes first—“
the universe throws you another curveball.
He arrives on a spring day, almost re-birthed and renewed. 
He stands at his gravesite. Taller and broader. Your stomach twists and bile rises up your throat. But you tell your brain it's not real, you manage to count the petals on the daisies you’re leaving.
You stare up at him again, the wind knocked out of you. He’s breathless and pale, staring back at you. He’s got scars all over his face—including the shape of a J under his eye. His t-shirt hangs low on his collarbones and you can see scarring there too. His hair is longer, almost touching his eyebrows. 
“I’ll see you in the morning.” He says stone faced.  His eyebrows are knit together. Hoping you remembered what he promised.
You’re frozen, almost sick to your stomach. Bile is prominent on your tongue and this hallucination has taken over.
He can tell you don't believe him and he grabs your hand and places it on his face.
“It’s me, I'm here. I’m still here.”
He’s so much taller than you remember. 
His face aged and his eyes have turned green. There’s a new white streak in his hair that is so prominent. 
And he scowls now. It's like his lips have permanently stayed down.
You never know what to say to him. Where to pick up where you left off. He follows you home, like a stray dog. Loyal to his core. Loyal to you at least.
He never tells you what he’s up to these days.
You do have a clue. 
It’s not rocket science to place him and the Arkham knight together. It’s almost impossible to walk at night without becoming a victim outside. You’ve caught a glimpse of the man that strikes fear all over the city.
It’s not Robin in that suit.
You never bring it up. Assumptions linger.
He tries to fall back into routine with you. He still sleeps on his side of the bed. He still makes your coffee in the morning. Rubs your back at night, and settles into the crook of your neck. But it never turns into anything more.
When you bring up what you guys are, he shrugs it off, plays dumb. 
Did he come back worse? Or are you just sensitive?
There’s a time you remember when all he wanted was to be called your boyfriend. Say it loud, hold hands in public. But even then there were rules. It was kept a secret just between you two.
Now there’s a protectiveness to him, he’s sealed off from you. Tells you —
“We’re good at this. We’re good friends.” But even he doesn’t mean it.
Jason doesn’t want you to know what happened to him. He despises pity. He should’ve told you where he was going that night. He should’ve left a tracker with you.
It’s been years and the minute he was revived from the pit his brain told him Bruce but his heart told him to come back to you.
The pit also intensified his anger. He’s angry at the world. Angry that he’s been placed in this piece of shit city where the same criminals and sociopaths linger around every corner. Shit, he died a couple years, came back, and these same criminals are still here.
Nothing changes in this city. So maybe it’s time he changes it himself.
There's broken walls and broken dishes every time you come home. You think about leaving but he switches up. It's a sick game of hot and cold.
The days are longer and warmer now. There’s a humidity that surrounds the city and sunsets take your breath away. You come home exhausted from work. Your phone pings nonstop, your head pounding, cars and people outside your window are blaring.
He can sense your anxiousness. Your body language is limp. He can watch you chew your lip until it’s bright pink. He walks towards you grabbing your body with both arms towering over you.
“How about we sneak off, just you and me?”
He says with such intensity in his eyes that you feel the heat boil thick inside your stomach. 
He cowards you in until your back hits the wall. The coolness of it gives you goosebumps. He grabs your chin and then runs his hand down your hair, twisting at the ends.
“What do you say?” He says again, a little more agitated that he needs to convince you. 11 years ago you would’ve just said yes.
And maybe this time you’ll say yes…
“Where would we go?” 
“Anywhere that’s not here.”
He’s so certain you’ll say yes. He’s already thinking of setting this entire city on fire and restarting a life with you. A life where you don’t beat around the bush and you come home with a smile for him.
But you don’t. It’s not enough for you. There’s so much tension in the room. You say you need a bath and a nap.
He lets you go instantly, walking towards the balcony and slamming the sliding door.
You don’t even know him anymore. You dance around each other.
On the balcony he takes 3 deep breaths, then another 2, then another 4 until he realizes he’s on the verge of tears and he wishes he could just tell you the shit that’s in his head.
He sees how you eye him, nervous and on edge. He barely takes his shirt off around you because the thought of his autopsy scar disgusts him and he can’t have you be disgusted with him.
There’s so much hate in his heart. There’s so much violence that he beats the shit out of his henchmen and resorts to putting bullets on anyone he can’t trust.
He hears the water running when he enters the living room again. There are sobs coming from the bathroom and now he feels even worse.
He came back a monster.
Splashes of orange and red surround the skyline. Temperatures drop and the leaves crunch beneath you. You’re both home tonight. You’re so happy. The luxury of being in his presence at this hour. He tells you he can take a day off for his girl.
His girl. 
The nickname raises goosebumps on your arm to your shoulders. He’s changed a bit. He stays home more. Doesn’t leave you hanging as much.
After some take-out, you sit on the couch deciding to pick a movie. One of his hands curls up your spine to the nape of your neck, as the other scrolls down the movie list. His fingers play with the loose hair that won’t fit into your bun.
He knows you hate it. Especially when he starts to call it a little rat tail.
You peer over at him, slightly nervous. He knows what you’re going to say, but before you even open your mouth he cuts you off—
"What? I like it." 
His head inches closer to your neck, placing small kisses down your earlobe to your collarbone. The prickles of your skin now rise over your chest. 
“And I know you like it too.” He taunts into your ear. He’s pushing you back towards the couch, peeling your legs open with one of his. Both arms are above you, enclosing you.
His lips graze yours, you can smell the sweetness of the strawberry drink he had.
You inch closer, closing your eyes, but before you know what his lips taste like— he's up again, pulling a jacket and mask over himself and slamming the front door shut.
Tears cloud your vision. It’s always one step forward, two steps back.
The tv plays an interview with some citizens gushing over the new Robin. 
You know who’s under the Arkham knight. Telling him to either come clean or leave you alone.
The replacement hurts more than he thought. He was abandoned, forgotten, then replaced. There was no mourning. Jason thought he would at least be mourned.
It rains one night and your car won’t start. The tow truck service won’t be here for another two hours and there’s a flash flood warning for your side of the city. You stare at your phone, your finger hovering over his name. 
“This is only strictly for emergencies” his voice clouds your memory.
You dial.
“Sweetheart?” He picks up, tense on the other side.
“I-I.. hi. I know you said this was only for emergencies but my car won’t start and there’s a lot of downpour. Can you come get me?” You feel yourself flushed, embarrassed, and tired. Maybe you shouldn’t have called him.
“I'll give you a ride, don't worry. I’ll be there in 10.” 
You don’t even question how he knows your location but sure enough in 8 minutes there’s a motorcycle revving down the street from where you are. It stops in front of your car. 
He gets off the bike, knocking on the passenger side of your car. You unlock it and he climbs in. His side of the car bounces and sends waves throughout your car.
He pulls the red hoodie down. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are a new shade of green. 
“You ready?” He asks gleefully 
“I’m not getting on that thing Jason.” Your head nods towards the bike in front of you.
He laughs. It’s one of the best sounds you’ll ever hear. The crinkles set around his eyes and how wide and toothy his grin gets.
“Why not?” He asks, the smile lingering on his lips.
“You know why.” You respond curtly. 
“You want to get home don’t you?” He leans in toward you, eyebrow raised.
He gets so close to you that you can feel the warmth he radiates. He’s nicer these days, less moody. He’s a lot more rested too.
“Come on, there’s nowhere safer than the back of my bike.” 
And you know it’s true. 
The safest place would be with Jason.
It still doesn’t comfort you knowing it’s pouring and he zooms in and out of traffic with no care.
“No, it’s raining outside and that thing only has two wheels!”
He laughs a little harder now. He shakes his head.
“Fine. We’ll stay until the tow truck shows up.” His hand finds yours as he reclines in your passenger seat. You recline too, watching the sunroof get hit with water droplets. His fingers rub circles around your wrist.
These days you’re not as tense around him. You shuffle in your seat to get a better look at him. 
His eyes are closed. The scar under his eye is fading, and the white streak in his hair is more prominent. 
“You’re staring” he says, opening one eye to look.
“I can’t help it.” You shrug. 
He turns towards you. Wrist still his hand, he pulls you over on top of him. You settle yourself, nestling your nose in the crook of his neck. He finds your neck and places kisses down your collarbone.
He stops. Pulls your face close to him. Hands encasing your face and he stares deeply into your eyes. It’s almost so unsettling you try to count the eyebrow hairs on his right brow.
“I’m sorry for...” He says quietly, trying to find an answer in your eyes.
“Hey, look at me.” He pulls your chin in between his fingers and kisses it softly.
“I’m trying to be better, and I know I can be… difficult. But I’m going to try harder.”
It’s the most he’s said to you all these months. He sounds like he means it. You peer down at his lip, caught underneath his top lip.
“Okay?”
You nod. 
A light halos above you. Jason gets out to talk to the man. He turns back to you — the helmet is snug on your head. Your stomach does somersaults as the rain and wind blow past you.
You hope that these changes come soon.
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nyxnightshade7656 · 2 days
Text
Hooked(Pt2)
I'll be honest. I have no idea where this is all really going. But it's fun to write. Hope you guys enjoy, any ideas/constructive criticism, by all means. Help. Also, prerequisite "I don't speak Cajun or French" and I'm sorry if Google Translate makes you mad, but it's kinda all I got. Writing in accents is hard, despite speaking with a deep southern drawl my whole life XD And if ya wanna be tagged, I guess let me know? I think I'm doing it right.
She sighed and made her way back to her window, which was a little more difficult to find in the dark. Then she just stared up at it for a long moment. She had not thought this through, clearly. From the ground to the window was a five-foot gap. There was nothing to really put her fingers or toes into for grip, curse the perfect maintenance on the building. And she hadn’t thought to just drop a rope, of which there was a disturbing amount to be found, or something similar to be able to climb up. And with her phone dead, she couldn’t exactly ‘phone a friend’ for assistance. She rubbed her hands over her face in annoyance at herself.
Just as she was about to give up and turn back to the forest, it wouldn’t have been the first time sleeping in a tree, a voice called down from above, “Now, Petite, what’chu doin’ out here, huh? Gon’ an’ gotcha self locked out? Good thin’ Ol’ Gambit was out patrollin’. Lemme help ya up.” She looked up, eyes wide, to see Gambit looking out the window above her own. He had a smile on his face and looked like the cat that had gotten the canary. Which was to say, entirely too pleased with himself.
Normally she would deny help, just because she hated to bother other people with her problems, but this time she was willing to make an exception. She just nodded. Gambit smiled again, “Hang tight, be down in a jiff.” Then he was gone from the window and she was left with her thoughts. Thankfully, he didn’t leave her outside for long. Soon enough, he was walking up to her.
“So, how’d ya en’ up ou’ere, huh? We all thought you was hol’up in yer room.” He said with a grin as he motioned back the direction he had come from. No doubt, the front doors. She sighed as she turned to follow him, but not before she glanced up towards her window one last time. Gambit caught her glance easily and followed her gaze. It didn’t take much for him to put two and two together, “Ah, jumped out t’window, hm? Cleaver. T’oh a good teif knows to leave a proper ‘scape route. Or return route in dis case. Why not call’er text ta be let back in?”
She grabbed her phone out of her back pocket, showed him the dark screen, then drew her finger across her throat in the universal sign for ‘dead’. He shook his head, “I see. Well, guess you lucked out wit me bein’ a night owl, huh Petite?” She nodded, just once, and gave him a grateful look. Because he had saved her, even if it was just from a minor inconvenience of having to find a tree to sleep in for the night.
His emotions tasted like cinnamon, vanilla and bourbon on her tongue. Warm, soothing, and with a slight spice. Comfort, care, curiosity, and something light and airy that she couldn’t put a name to. She couldn’t read minds like Xavier or Jean, though she had heard even if she could it would be pointless since Gambit seemed to be able to counteract telepaths. She hadn’t gotten the details on the how, just overheard that he could. But whatever it was that enabled him to escape a telepath’s abilities didn’t seem to help him escape her Empathic abilities, because his emotions were like an open book to her.
They made it to the front doors; that Gambit had left propped open which allowed a warm inviting light spilling onto the stone steps from inside. Not many people realized it, but it wasn’t just living creatures that could have emotions. Wood and stone held residual emotion, particularly strong ones. She could feel the emotions that had seeped into the wood and stone of the mansion over the years of it being occupied. It was yet one more reason why she would hide away or try to escape as much as possible. Her first day in the mansion had nearly driven her to insanity before Xavier had managed to place a temporary shield around her mind to help dull the intensity. Now she was able to create her own mental shields that were almost as strong. Still not enough to be normal, but better.
 “Here ya’re Petite, even left th’ light on for ya.” Gambit teased. The playful teasing tone of his voice perfectly matched the happy-joy-warm-citrusy taste of his emotions. They were so strong that she could feel her own lips pulling into a smile against her will. And of course, he picked up on her smile instantly, “Aww, dat fer me? Should smile more, looks good on ya.” He stepped to the side and, as if he were a prince from a fairy tale, bowed with his arms motioning towards the door, “After you, Chaton.”
She shook her head, unable to stop the smile that seemed almost permanently etched on her face, and stepped inside the mansion. Once inside, she closed her eyes and took a breath. It was something she had to do anytime she walked into a place not one hundred percent her own. She allowed the emotions to flow through her, hateangerfearlovejoypeaceexcitementconcernprotectiveness; but she did not hold on to them. She processed the feelings, acknowledged them, and then released them back into the room. It was the only way she could maintain her sanity.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her shoulder, “Ya alrigh’? Ya always quiet, but rarely ever see ya be still as death.” Concern, worry, anxiety; it all tasted like the bitter pith of citrus. She hated it instantly. She shook her head and forced a smile. She had taught herself ASL years ago, about two years after her Siren Song had reared its ugly head and all but forced her to be Mute. But she had learned that nearly no one knew ASL unless they had a loved one that was Mute or Deaf. Which, in turn, relegated her to notebooks or her phone’s talk-to-speech function. Her phone was dead, and she was clearly without a notebook, so that left her with the world’s worst rendition of charades as her only option of communication. So for now, she just went with a simple, unmistakable, hand sign. She held her pinky, ring, and middle fingers up; while her thumb and pointer made a circle. The universal sign for ‘Ok’, followed by pointing to herself.
Gambit chuckled, “One’a dees days, gonna hear that voice a’yers. But alrigh’, you’re good. I hear ya, loud and clear Petite. I’ll walk ya t’yer room.” Before she could physically protest, he placed his hand on her lower back and started to guide her. His emotions made it clear that he didn’t think she couldn’t take care of herself, which she would have taken immediate offense to, but he still felt protective. Curious, and was that affection? She bit her lip, suddenly shy and unsure of herself. She wasn’t sure what to make of those emotions.
“Here ya’re Petite. How’s ‘bout you head on in and get some shuteye, yeah?” He waited until she had opened her door and stepped over the threshold before he leaned into her space, crowding her against the doorway, yet leaving her a clear escape if she so chose, “And Petite? I happen ta be fond of chats. Da kitten ya made Stormy was cute. Still waitin’ fer my lil’ surprise.” He pressed the words against the shell of her ear, making her heartrate kick into triple time. And when he pressed a fleeting; barely there to the point of making her think she might have imaged it, kiss against her jaw, just under her ear, she almost felt like the world as a whole had come to a screeching halt.
He leaned back and gave her a playful wink and casual wave, “Fais de beaux rêves, Petite. Sweet dreams.” And like that, he was gone. And she was left to try and figure out if she had imagined everything that had happened, or if it had been real.
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theoceanoasis · 3 days
Note
Hope you are better
You could continue the au where Roddy is a mer that his owners want him to have babies but they don't want it to be with a couple so Roddy stays beautiful and they can show him off.
It could be something like Roddy in the absence of his mate and the depression that caused him to start losing his colors because he got sick from loneliness and his owners first try to get him healed, but when he doesn't get better they throw him away. He should be rescued by an aquarium that has a sanctuary of mers that were in captivity. He may find friends there to help him, but whoever saved him (perhaps Ratchet or Perceptor) may look for his mate because he could inevitably die if he remains separated from Soundwave.
I love the drama and You have de touch to write it <3
His owners banged on the glass and he moaned feeling a headache form. His whole body hurt as he laid there wrapping his tail around himself.
He was exhausted and couldn't do anything except sleep. Outside his tank he could hear his master's talking obviously unhappy.
They couldn't shock him because they didn't want to risk the pups he was carrying. The thought made him unbearably sad and he felt like crying because he didn't have a mate.
He was all alone and he didn't want to be alone anymore he wanted his mate. He sobbed uncontrollably calling out for someone who couldn't answer.
Pharma ended up being called and roughly looked him over. Even though he was carrying pups he'd lost weight from not eating. His once vibrant colors were slowly turning gray as he refused to take care of himself. Unable to live without his mate.
Mers swam in pods because they were social creatures. When they mated with someone it was for life and if something happens to their mate they oftentimes don't survive.
Pharma looked irritated as he checked him over and then told his mater's the news. Neither of them looked happy and he found himself listening in.
The facility that was keeping his mate had been seized. The mers had been taken and Pharma couldn't get him.
When he heard this he sobbed and refused to do anything just wanting to die. He didn't care anymore and was tired of living. All he wanted was his mate and now he'd never get him.
His master's were angry by this change and no amount of banging on the glass or threatening could make him do anything.
They were disgusted by how he looked. Instead of the pretty multicolored mer they used to have. They now had a scraggly looking mess who was an ugly gray color.
Whenever they saw him they sneered obviously unhappy with his appearance and wanting Pharma to do something.
The doctor of course informed them there was nothing he could do. Without his mate he was going to die and they might as well get rid of him.
His master's decided to do exactly that and ended up dumping him somewhere. It was a shady facility where the water was always dirty and the mers were starved. None of them said anything too exhausted and sick all of them looking about ready to die with their dull colors.
Then one day police came and the mers were transported to different facilities. He didn't care and just laid there not doing anything as he was loaded up. He was so exhausted and he just wanted to die.
He was introduced to a man named Ratchet who looked him over. Unlike with Pharma his checkup didn't hurt.
When Ratchet realized he was sparked he looked worried and decided to closely monitor him. The facility he was inside was a lot nicer and he had more freedom. The people who worked there treated all of them with respect and no one ever hurt him.
Even though life was better he continued to lay on the floor refusing to move. He barely ate only eating when Ratchet made him as he waited to die. He wanted his mate so badly and he continued crying out for him.
Ratchet and some of the others tried asking questions. All of them thought his mate was dead until he informed them that they'd never even met. He didn't even know his mates name and the only thing he had to remember him by was his pups and his smell.
Even after everything he was determined to remember that much. Just in case they ever had the chance to meet. Even though he knew it was unlikely.
The workers at the facility though seemed determined to help him find his mate something that gave him hope and made him try to live. Which made Ratchet happy.
He didn't know how long they'd been trying to find his mate but he knew his pups would be coming soon. His instincts were telling him to prepare even if it felt wrong not having his mate with him.
He should be helping him set up his nest and get everything ready for their pups. Instead he was having to do it alone and it filled him with sadness.
The staff who worked at the facility couldn't help him because they were busy getting ready for a transfer.
He was a dangerous mer who's last chance at survival was this facility, otherwise he would have to be put down. He couldn't return to the ocean after what's been done to him but he was too violent to keep at a facility. He had hurt numerous people and mers who'd gotten too close and after severely injuring someone at the last facility he was transferred here.
Finishing with his nest he found himself watching as a truck pulled up. He wasn't really paying attention and was just listening to the staff talk amongst each other in the hopes of helping him feel less alone.
The door opened and there was a shout of alarm as a mer crawled out. He looked pissed and his fangs snapped at anyone who came too close.
He watched as the mer looked around the facility and the two of them made optic contact. He froze unable to move as the two stared at each other.
His optics widened when he recognized the smell and he found himself crying out for his mate. The mer must have also realized something because he dragged himself over. Both of them were calling to each other and if it wasn't for his belly getting in the way. He would have jumped out of the tank he was inside.
Soundwave rushed forward ignoring the facilities staff as he climbed into the tank with him. He could hear people frantically talking but he didn't care.
The two of them wrapped their arms and tails around each other and he cried in his arms. The mer touched a gentle hand on his belly looking shocked and happy when he realized he was sparked.
He cuddled against him never wanting to separate from him again.
"My names Hot Rod."
"Soundwave."
His mate pulled him closer and bit down on his neck to claim him. He shivered from the pain and then moaned when warmth flooded his body.
Soundwave's spike came out and he pressed it into his leaking slit causing him to gasp. He felt him slide all the way inside and it felt like coming home.
The two of them fragged for hours and only stopped when Soundwave ended up inducing labor.
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deoidesign · 4 months
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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changingplumbob · 18 days
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Today had no spiders so you would assume that went better for me than yesterday but not quite. My computer antics today included playing a day and a half of a sim family and renovating a house to look like a therapy clinic. Boy did I have glitches. I'm talking TOOL not letting me toggle active object on some sims, only four students spawning at prom and a confident sim not being able to select a swim option as they were greyed out because said sim was too uncomfortable. Said sim didn't even have any negative moodlets. I removed the most recent script mod and it seemed to settle but that means bye bye to the cute blush when flirty.
Now onto non virtual life. I bet you didn't know that a very small proportion of people cannot produce proper antibodies for Chicken Pox meaning they'll get it more than once. I am people, I've had it five times, none as bad as the first time but still clearly Chicken Pox. This morning I seem to have once again developed, as I like to non affectionately call it, the plague. The lumps are coming up and it explains my loss of appetite the past few days.
Since this issue is rare there is not a lot of science around it. The length of time I have the virus varies, as does the severity, so I'm not too sure how much it'll affect me. This one time I got them all over my palms and therefore couldn't use my hands properly. SBL is queued through the month but Rotations and Growing with Glenn each only have one more post set up so there will likely be a gap. Just a heads up in case they stop suddenly it's not because I've fallen out of love with my characters. It's because being itchy is tiring.
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keeps-ache · 4 months
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well, you can see it!
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