#so i just end up alone all the time
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man i never wish that i understood dating enough to actually do it but its been so fucking bad lately
#i thjnk im just lonely in general#n i wanna like feel loved or wtvr#but i KNOW i dont wanna date anybody cuz i dont get it n i dont like it n i dont want anybody like that#i hate dating but i still wanna feel like somebody fuckin loves me yknow#i want somebody around on rough nights#but also most every night is a rough night n you cant expect someone to be around for you that much#cuz its not fair#i dont have anything to give anybody yknow#im fucking god awful at being a friend n im worse at being a boyfriend#i just don't understand any of it n i really fucking wish i did#so i just end up alone all the time#n it sucks#im probably gonna spend most of college alone n that fucking sucks man
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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just had the thought 'in the end the most important thing varric taught rook was how to make a home for, with, and in other people' and then I had to go lie down on the floor and clutch at my head in unceasing agony for a few hours, as you may well imagine. hawke and the kirkwall crew........ in the end you kind of saved the world a bit in the most characteristically indirect and chaotic of ways. not by anything in particular that you did or achieved or accomplished (lmao imagine!), but just by -- having existed, and by the love that was always there, despite it all, in all its imperfections, even when no one was saved by it in the end. you're not here right now and you're not quite haunting the narrative but I hear your voices bickering and arguing and laughing from the other room. (and so, I think, does varric. all the time.)
'did you think you mattered, hawke? did you think anything you ever did mattered?' yeah actually, varric says with da2 and keeps saying through the series. you were here. and I loved you. and as it turns out that mattered more than almost anything in the world, no matter how long it lasted or how fucked up it was at the time or what else happens, because varric manages to pass that feeling, that intangible... home, that echo of you all as you were together, that love, hopefully the best parts of it, on to someone else for them to bring with them on their journey, with their family. and maybe the world will be kinder this time. you never know. merrill's line of 'Everything affects everything. We were born, a bunch of things happened, and now we're in a mess with our friends.' varric's greatest fear of becoming his parents. even through the wreck and the ruin of the world, ghosts upon ghosts upon ghosts of love -- malcolm hawke, who we never even see, but his life touched hawke's and hawke's touched varric's and varric's touched rook's and rook is passing it on to the family they're creating. the unbroken legacy of love shines through in ways that are stronger and stranger than any magic. help
#I woke up. I opened my eyes. this insight hit me over the head like the fist of god. what the fuck. what the FUCK#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#hawke#varric tethras#dragon age 2#dragon age meta#let me live please I've barely reached consciousness I can't deal with this#the kirkwall gang.#what if they were secretly the most important people who ever existed. just because they existed. and for the love that was there#yeah you know what? that's not the worst legacy in the world is it.#da:tv really is da2 2 in some key ways. to me. one of the most da2 lovers or all time#also extremely da2 and also varric core for varric to adopt a kid (as a full adult) completely alone with hawke possibly dead#and STILL somehow manage to make it a varrichawke lovechild on some level. not romantic not platonic but something even more insane#every day varric is unbearably intimate with hawke through the narrative in ways he simply Cannot be with anyone in real life#(in ways you perhaps Should not be in real life. also. lol)#he keeps moving on no matter what b/c that's what you do. but I think varric's real home isn't even kirkwall or a place at all#it's a time. and that time is da2. or at least the story of da2 that he tells himself.#also also what about them themes around parenthood huh. I think varric in the end at least did not become his parents. thank god#trauma gets passed down. but so do other things and you have choices about what you want to leave behind#for those who come after you.#*tears streaming down my face* guess I have to go make breakfast and pretend everything is normal then. sick and twisted
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to stay the same sad, sorry mother
#resident evil 7#resident evil 8#mia winters#rosemary winters#eveline re7#rose winters#resident evil#resident evil fanart#blood#do u guys ever think abt how insane the mia development is in such a good way. like being an alone single(ish) mother w a bioweapon baby#who just wants a family. then they kill that kid and they escape just to be doomed to the same life again. i dont think shed EVER view her#life w rose as punishment dont take it like that. but more so her life is a punishment to pay for her sins via the cycle of being given#everything back. just to end up with the same isolating issues she had in re7#her motherhood is so interesting!!! i think shed have a lot of complexities w it.. a balance of unconditional love out of fear of how badly#she messed up the first time. oh my goddd#i love herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr shes my fav re chara ever and like. all time top faves in general. i love her so much GRRRRRRRRRR#idc if this looks kinda ass n rushed but i had to put it down ^.^#a childs loving grip too LOL *goes insane*
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I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#benjamin sisko#jake sisko#s1 Julian being so young and eager to prove himself and latching onto Sisko as this mentor figure to look up to#seeing Sisko with Jake and low-key seeking that fatherly figure connection which he won't even let himself think about#Sisko seeing this young brilliant doctor who's got all the makings to be something great and he's just GOTTA help him along#I think he would also catch on pretty quick that Julian's got Parental Issues#he tries to ask one day all casual like 'tell me about yourself :)' and Julian talks about nothing but Starfleet and med school#any attempts to ask about his family are met with awkward brief answers and redirections#and then theres the way Julian's eyes light up the first time Sisko invites him to watch a baseball game#like he Knows. he's a dad he Knows somethings up#but he doesnt pry#I also think it makes their dynamic more tragic towards the end of the series#where we have Sisko asking Julian to compromise his morals again and again#Julian's trust and respect for him gradually deteriorating#and then at the end of course Sisko is gone and they have no idea when he'll be back#which I think Julian would have a lot of complicated feelings about#but of course theres also Jake#I imagine they'd get closer#very brotherly dynamic#you know that scene in TNG where Wesley goes to Riker for girl advice and Riker and Guinan start flirting?#absolutely happens but with Jake asking Julian for girl advice and Julian wooing a girl at Quark's and Jake absolutely loses the plot#makes the events of ...Nor the Battle to the Strong more intense as well I think#also I like to think there'd be an episode where the B plot is Jake gets mad at Sisko and impulsively decides to move out#ends up at Julian's because he did not think this through#Julian is now very much caught in the middle of this family drama and he Fucking Hates It#also him and Jake are NOT compatible roommates but he's trying so so hard to be nice#eventually they have a talk and Julian cryptically hints at his own home life and tells Jake he's lucky he has a dad who cares so much#them being closer would work into what Alone Together sets up for them
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MHA didn't create some miracle way of helping others. It was never promised to be this way. And when it came to villains...
Spoilers for manga all the way to chapter 423.
The only way to get anything in life in MHA was to be born "normal" like everyone else and that way of thinking never left Izuku with Toga getting the same treatment she did before from everyone from her family to her "normal" classmates. It was Ochako who helped Toga even if just a little by lifting the weight of all the feelings that Toga had.
She couldn't save Toga the way one could save a civilian by saving them from harm. If it worked that way Dabi would've saved Toga even before Ochako could apologize for failing to notice Toga. She was so lazer focused on saving everyone else, that she was just another villain to stop, not a human.
Even if by the end of it Ochako helped Toga to deal with her grief, acceptance as it was wasn't something possible when a quirk makes you want to drink someone's blood from jealousy.
We got a bittersweet ending with Toga, in which she probably died from blood loss just like her double did in MVA. If it wasn't for Twice she would've died back then.
Giving away her blood for Ochako wasn't a redemption or a way to save Toga in the end, more as it was her being true to herself until the very end.
Just like Twice chose to stay with the League even if Hawks offered him a way to survive that battle. He refused and died protecting his friends who accepted him instead of choosing to betray them and accept Hawks' offer.
After Twice's death... It was a matter of time that more 'active' LoV members would join him as well. As sad as it is, we now can return to Izuku.
Who, after his time OFA-AFO quirk space, now wanted to help a "crying boy" he saw in Tenko just as before with Katsuki in chapter 1. He didn't forgive Tomura and didn't excuse the way he chose to solve his problems.
It didn't mean that Tomura would survive in their battle, even if Izuku didn't see killing others as a way to solve problems. He didn't understand Tomura, but he still wanted to try, and try he did.
The rest of this post was nothing more than a contextual prologue to understand that it's not the first time a hero failed to save a villain and in Twice's case we know that he died and his death was the reason Toga started thinking about her own possible death and Dabi finally revealed himself as Toya.
The goal of saving a "crying boy" never was an end-goal for Izuku in the Final arc, since helping Tomura deal with his feelings just left him hollow with a goal that clashed with Izuku's. As being a hero for villains meant destroying the world for them to help them live freely.
But that was before AFO resurfaced.
Sadly after that Tomura who was talking about making his own choices for a while now stopped doing that. Even if he still had a goal of helping villains and only villains, Tomura was almost gone. And his goals were now unreachable.
Izuku helped Nana who in turn kept Tomura from fading away entirely. In MHA there were countless situations where Izuku's help affected people by helping a different person to keep hope, All-Might being the first one and Nana being the last one at the moment.
Hollow after Izuku helped him to get rid of his hatred Tomura could do the only thing he did - accept the situation as it was.
Accepting AFO as his Sensei, accepting Stain's ideals and Overhaul's deal was the way he solved his problems. Just like Izuku had a problem of understanding something outside of his norm, Tomura was accepting too many things, which lead to his downfall after accepting AFO's quirk.
Just like Twice could've given up everything that he had for his friends so did Tomura.
With Izuku helping as much as he could let Tomura to finally rest as he wasn't really living ever since waking up in the hospital. With his body now affected by AFO's wishes instead of his own until the end.
In a way Izuku didn't succeed in his wish for Tomura to stop ever since PLF war arc. As he "kept fighting to destroy" no matter how hard Izuku tried to stop him.
The only thing he succeeded in was changing Tomura's mind about himself, instead of viewing himself as a monster he accepted that he was a human just like Izuku said. A "crying boy" who couldn't really destroy Izuku's hands in the end.
For a group of Villains who weren't supposed to get profiles of their own at the start of the series, League is slowly fading as the most memorable group that there was in MHA, getting backstories, their own Villain themed arc all the while being as human as anyone else.
As sad as their story is they were not "unlucky", they didn't need a happy false ending where they would need to change to be normal - they chose to live this way and they lived it to it's fullest.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#bnha analysis#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#toga himiko#mha twice#midoriya izuku#ochako uraraka#todoroki touya#dabi#spinner#shuichi iguchi#not art#While writing this I've been rewriting it time and time again#But by the end of it I just started crying because god... I didn't want them to end like this#Also I finally found the tracks that connect to the scene of Twice's death#Which may or may not have been a reason I started crying#Anyway the reason I wrote this was as simple as that - I read Twitter got sad and needed some way to cope#Because I'm getting sick from all 'oh they'll survive' yes HEROES might survive all of this VILLAINS would not#Magne died Twice died wnd Kurogiri literally became a cloud in the sky#I do hope that Spinner would be at least alive because leaving Mr. Compress alone with no sushi too is just too cruel#While writing this I suddenly found myself so frustrated with Izuku that my last tries to write this ended in a trashcan instead#it's so fucked up#To be a LoV stan and see how Class 1-A is getting the best ending they can with so much hope while LoV is... Dead :(#this is a mess
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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[ID: a digital sketch of Eda and Raine from the owl house. They're in their designs from watching and dreaming, pre epilogue. Raine holds out their arm for an injection (given by a disembodied hand and labeled "magic rabies shot") and Eda lays a hand on their shoulder and leans her head on theirs. She says "you're doing great Raine! how'd you get rabies tho?". Raine stares dead eyed at the viewer as a thought bubble connected to them shows Belos biting down on their arm. End ID]
I was gonna post a request today but I feel like it's gonna flop and this is funnier. So request tomorrow, Raine Whispers Rabies doodle today
#the owl house#toh#raine whispers#eda clawthorne#raeda#you guys have no clue the stupid shit i doodle when alone or in the company of my irl friends. this was partly their suggestion#you guys haven't even seen baldlos (he was just born today and also no one should see him ever)#anyway I'm so mad that THIS FUCKING DOODLE is the best raeda I've ever drawn. repulsive. why would god do that to me#anyway..enjoy#raine and hunter both being rushed to like. makeshift hospital tents after the finale on account of getting possessed#except when they're there they end up getting treated for completely unrelated shit#hunter had a growth spurt w/ insufficient stored energy/food in his body so he's kinda malnourished atm. raine has rabies (obv)#fun times all around#luz is perfectly healthy after death and resurrection tho! suspiciously healthy one might say...
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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Been thinking about Hosea a lot as I write this analysis on Dutch and Micah.
Maybe I’ll eventually whip something up about him, but for now I’m left with thoughts about knowing that not only is Hosea just as guilty as Dutch when it comes to how their boys were brought up (and continued to be treated through adulthood and ultimately up to their deaths), but also the way the two irreparably damaged John and Arthur’s entire lives beyond even their own comprehension. FURTHERMORE, they set forth a viscous cycle of familial violence and neglect that maintained momentum into the next generation. (See: John and Jack.)
The way Hosea’s action, but more importantly his inaction had in part led to… well, [gestures vaguely to RDR1 + RDR2].
Hosea might have been gentler than Dutch on the surface, but he saw it all, and at times both implicitly and explicitly encouraged it through the meticulous timing of his decisions to remain a “silent watcher.”
Yes, refusal to mitigate the violence makes him complicit, but the matter of the fact is… Hosea can’t even feign partial innocence as a third-party bystander because of how calculated he is in nature.
Additionally, there is no “third party.” Dutch and Hosea are a single unit. They occupy the same space even as two separate individuals in John and Arthur’s lives.
The deliberate nature of Hosea’s inaction puts him in the same position as the “perpetrator” because he isn’t just a watcher, he corroborates directly with Dutch and agrees with what he is doing on principle. He reenforces it in perhaps more subtle ways, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.
The only difference between the two is that while they’re dealing different cards, they are playing the exact same game.
#I’ve got some horrible little headcanons rattling around tbh#Dutch and Hosea have different methods and demeanours but truly are partners in crime not only in the literal sense but also are#one another's accomplice in how they raised/treat John and Arthur.#I think that Hosea gets let off the hook a little too easy and I really enjoy thinking about the implications of his behaviour on the boys#just as much as I enjoy analyzing that of Dutch.#Also??? The way that Arthur seemed to die not realizing this adds layers to it in my head. John had all that time to mull it over and think#after all that had happened with the gang throughout his life and I'm CERTAIN he did a LOT of thinking about when exactly Dutch's#true colours started to shine through over the years... so I'd say its safe to assume that he did a lot of thinking about the pair of them.#I want to know if he is capable of thinking fondly about Hosea in spite of this because he has been dead for a long time#Or does he hold a grudge against him even post-mortem? John at least got to have a conversation with Dutch and see exactly what he's become#I wonder to what extent that perfect image he had of Dutch being tainted caused him to see things clearer than#Arthur was ever given the chance?#Arthur died not knowing but I think John might have the tendency to ruminate on it in the years that followed.#I wonder what conclusions he came to about his life up until that moment while sitting alone in the aftermath.#Was he afraid? Did he even want to unpack all that? To potentially ruin every good thing he'd ever had just because Dutch went off the rail#in the end? If so... what would he have left if it turned out that nothing was ever the way it seemed?#red dead redemption 2#the curious couple and their unruly son#dutch van der linde#hosea matthews#arthur morgan#john marston#red dead meta#paisley.txt
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I'm glad you're evil too - Pinocchio-P
#end roll#russell seager#chris (end roll)#chrissell#my art#LONG TIME NO CHRISSELL#not for lack of trying bc holy frick this took FOREVER to do#it is !!! the first pic in my plans to illustrate a questionably large portion of the playlist i'm making for them. SWEATS#(which i'll def share too once i'm satisfied enough)#been really hyped for just about all of them coming after this tho so i hope it goes well 😳#i have uhhh over 10 thumbnails done already i think#everything else was more easily inspired and should be a lot more approachable#so look forward to more of that hopefully more quickly than this took WHEEZE#i just upgraded to csp v3 so i can now say with tangibility that i spent over 20 hours 'finishing up' alone sob#just REALLY wanted to get it done first bc it's def the best opener#also gonna confess that i stole this particular song association from someone else associating it w them already#i've known of the song for a long time but had never listened to it super closely before#chrissell playlist art
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Linktober 2024, Day 1, Mirror (Self)
Alright here we go again.
Technically a sneak peak of a bigger thing to come in the future that I'm repurposing, and the result of my final playthrough and readthrough before EoW dropped being Four Swords Adventures and that made me sad about Shadow Link again.
Note that this is for the Four Swords Adventures iteration of Shadow Link that might evolve into an LU Shadow, not Dark Link in either LOZ or LU, I have other plans for him.
This one shot was brought to you by Scars by The Crane Wives, Ribs by The Crane Wives, Ruin by The Amazing Devil and Two Minutes by The Amazing Devil because the author's playlist decided to be incredibly cheeky when they blacked out to write this like an ancient seers being cursed with visions and then called mad and hearing they've been put up for execution.
As always the nature of the relationship can be romantic or platonic, mostly due to the author's time constraints and further plans.
Anyway enjoy the reading!
It was cold.
The sort of cold after a wildfire, when everything's turned back to ash, the sort that left burned your vision white after the flames licked through your veins and left an ache in your bones. He shuddered, coughed black onto the stone floor, shaking with a muffled whimper.
It never got any easier, being dragged from the Dark World and into the Realm of Light, the goddesses' world itself revolting against an intruder, wanting the wound torn asunder into their oh so precious realm cauterized. To purge the intrusion and smite it where it stands.
Too bad for them (and for him), his master didn't particularly care about what the world wanted. Didn't particularly care that he hadn't grow accustomed to the pain or the cold, he had to stand up. There was work to be done.
(Shadow gritted his teeth, willed himself not to think about the prophecy of a golden haired princess- because whether he liked it or not, it was prophecy. As those with divinity running through their veins are wont to spill from their throats so carelessly- of violet eyes and a smile a third moonlight and hands holding a hammer.
It always hurt more, after one of the heroes liberated one of the maidens, or the jewels, the pain lingering for days afterwards and carving a home in his metaphorical bones. But just this once he'd take the cold bite of the Four Swords over the pain in the hole in his chest that Vio's betrayal had left, something that felt so much worse than every other time before.
Just this once he wished that maybe, just maybe, the hurt would be too much to bear, that he wouldn't wake up again-
Why? Why does it hurt so much but he's still here? He already knew the Light was uncompromising and unforgiving, but he thought them at least above curses.)
His ears twitched as soft, almost silent footsteps came up to his side. Someone crouching by his fallen form, setting a cautious hand over his own that Shadow couldn't help but draw away from with a hiss, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the world again, to your face, carefully blank as you guided him to lean against your side, a silver choker with a crimson gem winked mockingly at him, the shade closing his eyes and going boneless against your side.
Shadow was so, so tired.
He heard you quietly sigh, plucking his cap from his head and running your fingers through dark amethyst, smoke and mist made hair. "I told you so."
"Shut up." He grumbled, nuzzling further into the crook of your neck. One clawed hand curling against your free wrist, digging into the skin. Absentmindedly noting there were new scratches just above the metal.
It was routine by now, the warmth of your existence against his own a welcome balm, not quite of the Realm of Light where it's unpleasant, not too close to the Dark World where he felt like melting back into the embrace of the darkness, only to howl in agony at being dragged out.
Memories not quite his own bled into his mind all the time. How you'd shape ice into flowers for the princess in winter with nary a though, of blinking and from one second to the next you'd have whatever sword he had hostage if you though it was time for a break with a smile brighter than the sun.
His master had changed that though. It took months for you to stop trying to claw the collar out and to stop trying to fight Vaati.
(Funny how holding a mage's dragon as a bargaining chip is just as effective as kidnapping a ruler.)
Your gaze flicked to the polished obsidian of the Dark Mirror, to the gold, ornate frame. "The offer is still open, you know. Let me take the suffering from you."
"No." He scowled, leaning back to glare into your eyes, a hint of fangs poking out from a maw struggling to keep the shape of a human jaw, "You helped him. Helped them." Shadow spat, there is that hurt again.
You shrugged, a movement that's just slightly awkward as you flinch, "That I did." You confirmed simply, it almost made Shadow see red as he leaned away, knocking your hand from his head in the process, but if there's anything him and the heroes shared, was a lack of a desire to hurt you. It was a little grating to be honest, "Vio even offered to take me with him, to be honest."
"Then why didn't you leave?" He demanded.
Why did you stick around?
Your eyes shuttered, a hint of conflict in your pursed lips. Before you found your words, they come out softly, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you why. You'll just have to find out yourself."
You tug your wrist from his grasp, and Shadow lets you go.
(Stubbornly pushing down on memories and emotions that arearen'tarenotanymore quite his.)
You stand and turn away, pushing the curtains away from your sight, you turn your tired eyes to Shadow with an emotion he can't put a name to. "Just keep it in mind that there's more than one way to end this. Nothing is truly inevitable."
Shadow watches you go. 'There's nothing that can be done. He tells himself, hand hesitating above the Dark Mirror, briefly, it curls into a fist. The hero's original self stares back at him.
'… Does he really believe that?'
He shakes his head, and focuses on willing the Dark Mirror to show him his counterpart.
His chest still hurts.
#summer writes linktober 2024#lu shadow x reader#well implied#shadow link x reader#lu vio x reader x shadow link#lu four x reader#if we count both Vio and Shadow as part of him which I both do and don't (it's complicated)#lu four x reader x lu shadow#You ever think that considering how Shadow isn't human and a reflection of someone else#that he likely struggles with human feelings and putting a proper name to them?#and that he might share memories and emotions with Four/Link and have a hard time discerning what is his and what isn't#and just possible identity issues in general from being separated from what's essentially every other part of himself?#because I do. A lot. It lives in my head rent free#man I want to write more about this guy#is Reader from Hyrule? Are they isekaied and just doing their best to blend in and somehow ended up a magic user?#Are they a secret third thing or a guide au iteration?#Who knows! (the author does but is too sleep deprived to elaborate)#All they know is that they're have feelings (up to interpretation) for Link and are close to Zelda#that Shadow may have stolen their dragon but they don't want to let him suffer alone now that Vio is gone even though they could have left#and that they would fistfight Vaati if not for their magical restrictions (it will be expanded in it's own one shot)#not necessarily in that order#yes I am adding to Shadow's extensive crimes and making it so that the dragon in the manga in this was Reader's.#They just wanted their scaly puppy back and now they're trapped in the drama and absolutely over it#linked universe x reader#they commiserate with Dot/Zelda over this fact over tea which can probably be an one shot of it's own
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Give me five whole minutes.
Credits: Me
#I sobbed like a baby during Missing Limbs but I didn't expect the end of Euclid to catch me so bad#but hearing that line. hearing that *song* that has constantly ran rampant in my mind. That I've held so close to my chest? Amazing#absolutely fucking amazing#let alone getting to sing it along with 20k other people#the Espera sounded gorgeous Vessel sounded gorgeous and ii iii and IV played wonderfully well#(about to be a bit vunerable so bear with me)#I said in one of my other posts that 'I think my soul came out of my body for a bit' and I mean that whole heartedly. because this is where#call it an extreme reaction but I felt all my blood go out of my fingers and just this. humungous weight peeling itself off of my shoulders#I jokingly call myself a cockroach a lot because I tend to have bitterly bad luck and just try my best to get back up after it and this jus#I'm describing as I go and it's the hardest thing to illustrate#I felt welcomed. like the warm feeling when you come home and the heatings on in Winter#never will I ever fully be able to execute the thanks I have for what this band has done for me#for what you guys in this community have done for me#this felt like a peak and I think I'll forever being going upwards from here. this and you guys have made the climb so much easier#perhaps the appropriate time to simply say 'worship'#mel's rambles#mel's photos#sleep token#st#teeth of god tour#tog tour#vessel#vessel sleep token#euclid#song euclid#tmbte#sleep token tmbte#take me back to eden#+ again. kindly ignore me crying and singing
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC.
Vincent spends all his life searching for himself, searching for his spot in the world. He lives in the past and what will never be, longing for everything he has missed out on and everything he will never have. It is not until he learns he is dying that he comes to realize he has to live in the present, to enjoy life as it comes.; and despite his confusion, fear, and his regrets, he tries to live the rest of his life to the fullest, knowing very well he is living on borrowed time. OC WEB WEAVE SERIES: VINCENT "V" MAYER.
charles bukowski, pulp // by wiissa0 // loneliness for love; lovelytheband // louise glück, from 'unpainted door' // by biryuza // summer farah, i could die today and live again // tobia photographed by su yang // wake up; run river north // ruhlare // by julykings // lemonade; twin xl // ryan walker photographed by ryan pfluger // mary oliver, from 'marengo' // still not dead; dreamers // by lovelyopalite // by geloy concepcion // lemon drop; raynes // chris abani, ritual is journey // 'die milchstrasse', cover detail // louise glück, averno // i like cars; caroline kole // by cruellesummer // frances molina, o’death
#cp2077#edit:vincent#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#oc web weaves#this one is long sorry. i have a lot to say about vincent#lots of fun to make though i really wanted to add in colors that fit him and stay true to his whimsy while also like#correctly portraying the heartbreak in his story. like in the end he survives so it's all ok!! but he wasn't Supposed to survive#in earlier drafts of his canon i had him die after those six months like the game says because it felt fitting for his arc at the time#but also it made me sad because he deserves the world so i changed it and for the better too because that opened up#options for me to continue the story which is how we got king of fools and all that :]#anyway this weave kind of goes full circle in a way but rather than vincent ending up still searching for himself#he has found peace with the not knowing aspect and instead he just wants to find happiness in it all. he doesn't want to be alone#he wants to spend his life with the people he loves the most and he wants to get the most out of it as possible before it's too late!!!
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i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???
you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"
#SOULMATES DOES NOT MAKE A COUPLE CANON <333#'she SAID theyre soulmates so that means hes HERS now and its gross for u to think he liked anyone else'#hey thats actually... really bad!! hey she actually cant and wouldnt force him to date her!!! hey what the fuck!!!#not a mikosai hate post#only weird forced romance likers hate post <3#if someone doesnt like someone then they dont like them... them being soulmates doesnt change that...#thats actually just not how it works and the idea that that WOULD be how it works is gross#and a lot of the fics ive read of them end up with aiura being all 'ha i told you so! i knew id break u eventually!'#'i knew id get to u if i just kept calling u my boyfriend without permission and saying we're soulmates!'#which like not only would she not do that... its also just really gross#like u really thought 'he doesnt like her so she wears him down and doesnt leave him alone until he relents' and like... u went with that?#oh...#weird...#idk maybe im crazy and also im having a hard time phrasing any of this#but it just brings up so many consent issues and it makes me really uncomfortable#like according to THOSE shippers it wouldnt be by his own will or feelings if he eventually fell in love with her#it would just be because the universe said so and he never had any choice#mikosai is so cute when u think of it in like the totally opposite way#in MY opinion i love mikosai AFTER aiura accepts that soulmates doesnt mean he HAS to date her#that HAS to happen before they date and THEN theyre really cute#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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wild to me to see posts like "wow everything in the tempest is named after shakespeare...emet you melodramatic bitch you sure loved theater". because the prospero-emet thing gets played up so hard in the english script and you can carry it so far!
like prospero is an asshole magician who, after being deposed by his brother as duke of milan, settles himself and his daughter on a remote island, enslaves the local spirits using his magic, and bitterly plots to reclaim his past glories. he rules through violence and deceit, and only survives and is reconciled when his plots reach their fruition and his brother is taken to his remote island and plots ensue and everyone decides he was totally right all along and they were huge dicks to him and they're sooooo sorry and he gets to go back and be duke again wow! and it's okay because he's like "i was only doing mean magic to get my rightful spot back and now i'm giving it up because magic is evil. :)"
the tempest is what emet wants his life to be. prospero is not a villain in the text of the tempest. he is barely treated as antagonistic by the text and framing of the play itself. all his abuses, his neglect and control of his daughter, his enslavement of caliban and ariel (local spirits/monsters/people of the island), his deception and plots against his brother, his abuse of magical powers (not awesome, from the pov of the contemporary audience), all that ultimately gets swept aside in the rightness of his return to milan and the warm feeling of the world being set to rights. prospero can't undo the years he spent on the island but they are ultimately a blip in his life before he returns to the rightful state of affairs. his abuse and enslavement of caliban, easily the worst thing he does in the play, is totally set aside when caliban goes "wow now i see how truly benevolent my master is. i love him and see the ways of christian good and i'm so, so appreciative he chose not to kill or beat me even though he totally could have and would have been in the right. he's so just and intelligent." everyone loves and forgives him and they all agree both his management of the island and his ultimate return are so good and so wise and so right.
emet comparing himself to the tempest (or being compared to it, depending on how you want to read the diegetic status of the place names) is absolute wishcasting. it is an attempt to manifest the happy ending he will never, ever get because his sins cannot and would not be forgiven in the way he wants. he wants to imagine himself as the righteous returned duke whose crimes, including the enslavement, abuse, and exploitation of those he saw as his rightful inferiors, were totally worth it, i promise. and if emet is prospero, the warrior of light is his caliban.
#emet-selch#ffxiv#hades#shadowbringers spoilers#like by the time you get to the end you've already spoken to the amaurotine shades and hythlodaeus in particular#it's incredibly clear that even if emet's plans come to fruition he is *utterly alien to the world he is trying to restore*#and like prospero is restored in the end. but his wife is still dead. miranda grew up isolated and alone.#also to take a somewhat more jaundiced view#the things he did to caliban and to ariel can never be undone. that stain is with him forever.#and i mean even IF you can just yank all those souls right out of zodiark and fix the whole thing#there's still everyone who died before the first sacrifice and after the second. also THE VOID IS THE VOID.#'yeah uh we'll just fix that. when zodiark is up and running properly.'#sure dude i totally believe your expertise on the problem you caused by not knowing enough. you definitely know enough now.#anyways he can't waver for even a moment bc it means acknowledging he has betrayed everything he ever claimed to believe in due to his grie#he is in blood stepped so far etc. if i can be allowed to mix my shakespeares#emet-selch more like emet-sunk cost fallacy#meta: durai report
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