#so i have been up since 430am for work

[nina-ya]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPIEST OF TUESDAYS TO YOU ALL!!!! I hope you all have an amazing day I'm sending you all the bestest of vibes!!!

[r-ene]

09.06 to 09.09.23

>> days 25 to 28 days of 100 days of productivity

most days ive just been job hunting since i have so much time on my hands having only monday and tuesday with classes, but ive been more exhausted than i used to when i was waking up 430AM to attend 730AM to 2PM [about 7 hrs] daily for 6 days that now, my eyebags basically look like eye luggages, hahaha

productivity list

finished interview video for intro to psych at 430AM from 1050PM of 9/5

submitted the interview

job hunting

made transes for a board review ppt sent by a beloved prof of mine [cardiorespiratory anatomy and physiology]

gave luna and hoshi a bath

something i regret doing that results to me being less productive than i used to be (even during my gap year 2020 i was more productive on a daily than now) is not making my to do list before bed.

and if i were to graph my daily ... mood ?? mind ?? i feel it would just make a wave between 3 - 6 (10 being having the best mood, 0 to being a complete slump) haha. working on that, hopefully it improves to 6-8 on a daily.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Yeah. What’s your favorite season of the year? Fall and winter. Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now? Nope. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? My dad’s is next month. Who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? Yikes. No one. Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? No.

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? My best guy friend at the time, Kyle. When was the last time you burned any part of your body? I don’t recall. What are the last three songs you listened to? Diamonds by Megan the Stallion ft. Normani Going Bad by Meek Mill ft. Drake Yummy by Justin Bieber. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? No. Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? No. I stopped doing that a few years ago. Have you ever called somebody dollface? Yeah, I used to say that sometimes jokingly. If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on? Food. Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No! What do you do in awkward situations? Act awkward and make it even more awkward haha. Are you up later than you should be? I’m always up this late.  What are you most excited about right now? Nothing. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? Nope. Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? No. How long was the longest survey you ever took? I’ve done most of the 5,000 questions survey. Do you like sour candy? No. I don’t enjoy the sour sensation and it irritates my mouth. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? I don’t plan on ever getting married. Do you have Verizon? Yes. What do you do to stay awake when you’re tired? Try to do something like this. Are all nighters something you have grown used to? Yeah. I usually go to bed around 5ish, sometimes not even until like 6. That’s pretty much morning. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I never wear sunglasses. I also don’t drive. Do you wear your shoes around the house? No. Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? Nope. Even in the summer when I complain about being hot and miserable, I still take hot showers. I’m weird. What clothes are you most comfortable in? Leggings and oversized tees. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? For the most part. What has changed most about you in the past year? Nothing in a good way. Are you good at painting nails? No. If it’s late at night and you’re hungry, what do you reach for? Nothing, I just wait until later. Smoothies or slushies? I haven’t had either one in years. Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? Nopeee. Be honest, have you ever used Wikipedia for school work? I’ve gotten info and ideas, but I fact checked reliable sources. What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? Hmm. Can you multitask well? Depends on what I’m doing. What’s your opinion on good grammar: important or not? Important to me. Will you eat something if it falls on the ground? Nopeee. The second it touches the ground, it’s germ food. Do you rip out the page if you make a mistake writing, or cross it out? I cross it out if using a pen. Or use white-out if I have it. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Blah, nooo. Do you see the value in education? Absolutely. Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I’ve volunteered at homeless shelters, an animal shelter, a nursing home, the hospital, and for events with the club I was in in college. Do you use a full length mirror daily? No. Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I can’t. What type of TV shows do you like best? Dramas. Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch? Yeah, a few. Do you care much for the music on the radio? I haven’t listened to the radio in so long. Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? I don’t have a sex life. Even if you don’t like politics, do you still have opinions on the issues? Of course. Mac or PC? Mac. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yeah. Mostly just coffee. Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? I’m so bad about that. :X Are you prone to illness? I have health issues, but I don’t get colds and things like that often. I feel sick a lot for other reasons. What does most of your money go toward? Food and clothes. Do you ever actually make your bed? It stays made. I sleep on top of the blankets and just use a throw blanket. Do you make an effort to eat healthy? No. :X How are things between the person you like/love/are with? I’m single and I don’t like anyone in that way. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. When was the last time something bothered you? There’s always something. I bet you miss someone, huh? Yep. Does anyone hate you for no reason? I’m sure they have a good reason. The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? I don’t recall. That was so long ago. What did you have for breakfast? Nothing, yet.  What year do/did you graduate? I graduated college back in 2015. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? Probably tequila. How long until your next birthday? 5 months. What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? I don’t have anything in particular.  Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Mhm. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I would have loved to have seen Linkin Park when Chester was still alive. :( If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? As tempting as the money is, I honestly think I’d go with changing a regret. If I could change a health related one, it would make a big difference with something I’m dealing with now. It would be very beneficial.  I bet you kissed someone last night, right? Nope. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? Like 4 years ago. Are you taller than your mom? No. Do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you again? No and that’s fine. I moved on years ago. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah, a few people. I’ve been high myself. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? At night. Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? Nope. I’ve been single for several years now. It’s been 4 years since I’ve even talked to anyone in that way. What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving? Uh, I’d have a lot of questions if my mom told me that. If she’s moving, so are we (my dad, brother, doggo, and I). You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? No, it’d just be super awkward. It’s been so long since we’ve seen or even talked to each other, so. What’s so special about what you’re wearing? Nothing. Does anyone think you are a bitch? Probably. Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? No. Could you handle living with a male roommate? That’d only happen if it were a boyfriend. What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? I’d like to be up by then already, but we’ll see. Are you ticklish? Just my neck. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not anymore. I love scary movies, though. Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? We just don’t talk anymore.  Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings. What do you miss the most about your past? I miss when I wasn’t dealing with certain issues. I miss when I was in college only cause I was actually doing something with my life and I had goals and motivation back then. I really miss my childhood. Are any of your friends taller than you? Ha, most people are taller than me except for small children. When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. It’s hard for me to imagine ever finding someone again, honestly. Was this past weekend a good one? I didn’t feel well. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. Plan on getting drunk or high tonight? No. In the past week, have you cried hysterically? Not hysterically. Are you satisfied with your life as of now? No. Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Yes. Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? Nope. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No. Have you ever been rude to someone without even realizing it? Probably :/ Are your nails painted? No. I haven’t painted my nails in years. Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody?

 Like I said, it’s really hard for me to imagine ever finding someone. Are you on birth control? No. Has a guy/girl sat on your bed before? Yeah. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. How bad are heartbreaks? They’re horrible to say the very least. They’re, well, heartbreaking. Have you ever kissed anyone with the name starting with an R? No. Last time you were really happy? I felt happiness during my Disneyland trip. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I’ve gone almost 10 years now and I have no desire to drink. I don’t miss it at all. Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes. Connection between you and the last person who messaged you? I think my aunt last messaged me on Facebook. Do you tend to fall for players? No. I fell for guys who didn’t fall for me. Why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex? It didn’t work out and we moved on. Where is your biological father right now? He’s in bed asleep in the next room. Who’s the last person that you felt was stalking you? I’ve never felt that way, thankfully. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother. I’m actually going later today with my mom. Who else is in the room with you? Just me. How is your hair right now? It’s up in a bun. Have you ever asked a boy for advice? Yeah, I used to ask my guy friends for advice about guys. When you say you don’t care, do you mean it? For the most part, no. Did you say “f—” today? Not so far. I probably won’t. I rarely drop an f bomb. How late did you stay up last night? I think around 430AM. Could you go a month without cursing? Yeah. I don’t curse a lot. Do you have a job? If so where? Nope. Do you usually have weird dreams? All my dreams are weird. What color is your hair? I dye it red. What was the last thing you drank? Starbucks Doubleshot. Water with ice or no ice? No ice. I’m not an ice fan.  Are you wrapped in a blanket? No. Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? No. Have you spoken to your mother today? Not yet. It’s 4:30 in the morning, I haven’t talked to anyone so far. Father? ^^^

[macdonald44watson-blog]

The fundamental ideas Of Inca Trail three Days

Sweat Resistant Suncream – Don’t just get any sunscreen. you might be trekking to large altitude where the sun intensity is superior, so you will require a significant SPF (greater than 30). Also, Choquequirao Trek see you (and most Many others) have suggested a fleece. Is there a benefit of this above a packable down jacket, which happens to be SO much lighter and requires us much less House? That’s what I had been pondering taking, but I retain viewing the suggestions for fleece. Thank you for this really useful suggestions. on the other hand, I am concerned about the compact amount of insulation you advocate. I presume your apparel advice is geared to the average male – do you might have any suggestions for Females? I’ve read that Females call for extra insulation than Gentlemen to remain warm. I am an exceptionally slender girl so assume I'd personally have to have extra insulation than the standard lady, and a good deal a lot more than the common man! I'm so happy I discovered this amazing post with this kind of thorough, useful and unbiased information and facts. Thank you for finding the time to jot down this. It’s really beneficial and has cleared a lot up for me!! Pee Bottle (with the women) – We only listen to superior issues about this from the girls. See Freshette Blister Plasters – Trekking as many as 4-five hrs on a daily basis can lead to distressing and debilitating blisters. address blisters early and take quick steps to lessen friction. ten.- If you select never to go, or else you develop into unwell or wounded within the trail and they are not able to continue, a porter Inca Trail 3 Days or assistant will accompany you again to a secure place with crisis help at Ollantaytambo town, from in this article you could continue on by train to Aguas Calientes city and meet the team within the 4th morning (train Price tag might be at your expenditures US$70-80 approx). Helicopter air lift and healthcare support are compensated in the expense on the passenger, for that reason we advocate to own journey insurance policies. when you fall short to accomplish the hike resulting from sickness We'll guide you to satisfy your team at Machu Picchu to recommence your tour there, Though there will be no refund from the initial payment, We are going to having said that present you by using a document to certify your illness and this can be utilized to existing for your vacation Insurance company. superior backpacks are intended to transfer load weight for your hips. The shoulder straps ought to have not more than 30% of the weight. Here are The real key functions to look for inside your rucksack: for many who desire a sneak peak, There's time to visit Machu Picchu independently ahead of a Inca Trail 3 Days guided tour the subsequent working day. usually, you are able to while away the afternoon from the organic very hot springs at Aguas Calientes. What time will I be back again in Cusco? You frequently get there back to Cusco about 8.30pm -9pm so don`t hope in order to reserve a flight out for the same evening as flights will not exist just after 18.00 Hrs Our professional team of regional porters will carry our tents, food stuff and cooking gear and assist trekkers when is required. Additionally they set up tents each day. Our cooks prepare mouth watering and nutritious freshly cooked gourmet foods making use of community solutions. Dry Plastic Bags – carry a handful of huge, medium and small plastic baggage which you can use to source individual your wet and dry equipment. Use zip-lock bags for your personal modest gear like your wallet, funds, digital camera, passport and so on Chocolate museum where by there will be a chance to sample a warm chocolate comprised of regional cacao beans. This is likely to be a superb possibility to invest in some items or souvenirs. There’s a little retail store in which you’ll locate different handicrafts and a range of artisanal chocolate solutions. This can be Inca Trail three Days the final and most magnificent leg from the trek to Machu Picchu. The day commences before dawn with breakfast at 4am. Say farewell into the porters as they descend for the coach station and afterwards commence climbing by 430am. Notes: The Inca Trail is within the skills of most fairly healthy people today, but be sure to appear prepared, since the trail is forty five kilometres extensive and infrequently steep. daily's journey generally is made of 7 several hours of walking (uphill and downhill), with stops for snacks and lunch.

[strawberryspeachy]

Set my alarm early to get ready for an interview(my face) before school and so i could walk to the train not run because im late and sweat

Nope… i fell asleep after my alarm

Woke up from my brain playing some rlly loud familiar sounding but i didn’t actually know it -music

Woke up… at the exact minute i SHOULD have been walking out the door

Didnt brush my teeth didnt button up my shirt, luckily i was basically wearing a diaper (cause my period decided to come 3 days late to to make me waste a pregnancy test AND ruin my weekend) rushed and ran out the door

Without my mask

So i had to use a spare i keep in my bad - not a good mask

Then i paid whatever the fucking bus costs 2-3 dollars to take me to the train - it happened to just be stopping at the stop when i was near and it was the bus going directly to the station (because with my change of clothes and shoes and binder of sample work and wig… cause idk im just seeing where the pretend im blonde goes)

My bag was heavy af meaning its too hard to run to the station in 5 minutes

Then i was still late and took a different train which goes to a stop on my normal route faster - it costs a dollar more to use - and i caught the train I usually use

So… paid 3-4 extra dollars - an entire one way fair - to go to work at the same time as usual

Go to school the principal keeps the teachers room like an icebox in the summer and winter… my feet hurt so much. Two periods off and then 4 periods on. Idk i was so tired.

Then i left got ready for my interview. Went. Read some reviews of the company on my way there. Not great of course… is there any company who isnt terrible in this country???? They did the things the person complaining about did… wasnt an interview… was a prep for an interview…. 2 hours long. He gave me more homework… also what the reviewer said… they give you busywork before ghosting you >_> another said they pay women way less and the dude primed me for that saying people starting out get the base salary

Anyway go home its late im exhausted. Cant even finish my night routine witout a nap (its 430am now cause i had to get up and finish stuff)

But as i was laying down exhausted a sudden fleeting… not thought… it was in my head but i didnt think it said,

Youre the energizer bunny

Like that commercial. Not something ive thought about since the last time i saw it when i used to watch tv and when it used to be a commercial

My mom called me that a few times when i was little

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveys 062.

What battery percentage is your phone on right now? It’s at 55%

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? Yeppppppppppp

Who did you last talk to and what did you say? i sent a comma to kile. I can’t communicate to him anymore but it’s kind of my way of saying I’m here presently and available to read your messages. it probably annoys him and I should stop. 

What's your favourite Mexican dish? pork tacos from mama marias

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes. many times.

How far do you live from New York City? uhhhhh google says 12.5 hours. not too bad.

How often do you talk to your parents? mom usually every day. dad maybe 2x a year

What was the weather like in your town today? lets google. it was 92 today

Are there any phrases or words that you say a lot? talk to me goose, comin’ in hot, that’s ridiculous, sup homie

How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you ever had? ehgghghg

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeah, many times.

What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? serendipity 

What's the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? I would say John

Do you clean your ears daily? Not daily, but every couple days.

What accent do you have? midwestern.

What scent of air freshener do you keep in your bathroom? It varies. usually a tree scent of some sort

Have you ever dated a model? No.

What's the best job you've ever had? hmm. babysitting an infant for like 2 hours 3x a week and making like 260 bucks a week.

How about the worst? nannying for a family where the dad was constantly trying to hit on me.

Do you have naturally straight hair? No, pretty curly.

What is your ultimate goal in life? To continuously find beauty in every day 

Have you ever visited someone in prison? nope

What months were you and your siblings born in? july, august, august, january

Do you write down your passwords in a physical place to prevent losing them? ahahhahahaha ummm a few of them. i am often in a “forgot your password?” situation

What are your three favourite vegetables? broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes

How many times a day do you check Facebook or any other social network? its SEVERELY decreased since not being on my phone with kile. looking at my phone usually brings me sadness, because i seldom have any word from him. so I just leave it alone.

When was the last time you had a blocked nose? idk.. 5-6 months ago

Who is your favourite comedian? I am not really sure, I dont follow many comedians

What colour are the socks you're wearing today? havent worn any yet

What did you have for dinner last night? steak

What was the last concert you went to? I want to say relient k

Are you an ugly crier? not really no

What scent is the soap or body wash you use in the shower? I’m on vacation so the scent is like a lavendarish scent which is not my style at all.

Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? kind of. -.- not by choice.

Who do you live with? mom & gram

What letter does your street name begin with? numbers

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? absolutely I do.

When was the last time you ate at McDonald's? A few weeks ago.

What's your favourite Popsicle flavour? blue

Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? i havent got a clue. I never go on FB

Do you have any injuries at the moment? yes. one of which is my shoulder and its reallyyyyyyy bugging me

Have you ever been to an ophthalmologist? the eye dr i used to go to was both opthamologist and optometrist so yes

Do you own any animal print clothes? oh probably.

Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? im tall. I would, maybe it’d be less off-putting to others

When was the last time you went to a drug store/pharmacy? gosh, like a week ago.

Do you ever binge-watch TV shows? just the same ones ive watched for years

Have you ever mustered up the courage to tell someone how you feel only to be rejected? uhhh, no I can’t say I have. 

Do you keep your files and documents organised in one place? somewhat.

What's your favourite sweet treat to bake? my infamous cookies

Are you good at flirting and letting people know you're interested? ill be real honest, I am so slow to fall for someone that it takes some time for me.

What did you have for breakfast today? toast (gf) and eggs

Do you prefer sweet or savoury breakfasts? Sweet

Do you like chick-flicks? heck’n yea

Have you ever taken an acting class? no. not interested

When was the last time you watched one of your favourite movies? yesterday

How often do you use Youtube? seldom. 

What's the coolest thing you've ever dressed up as for Halloween? i dont really do that.

Are you ignoring anyone right now? yeah :( </3

How do you usually style your hair? It’s always up in a messy bun. especially with the heat. but I might chop it off this fall idk.

Do you have any tattoos? Tell me about them. Nope. i wonder if kile will ever get his

Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? more times than I could count.

When was the last time you used a stove? tonight with a GF zucchini pizza

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? mushrooms

Are you sitting, standing or laying (or something else) right now? I’m laying on my bed.

How many hours per week do you typically work? --

What was the last pill or tablet you took? probably headache meds or tummy meds on the day of my flight

How far away from your house is the closest grocery store? like 1.4 miles

Have you ever lived in university/college campus housing? Nope.

Who was the last person you complimented? uhhh maybe a sibling

Are you the type of person to take naps, even if you've slept plenty? I WISH

Do you have a crush on anyone at the moment? im trying not to, but im not successful yet

The age old question: dogs or cats? STOP ASKING ME TO MAKE A DECISION ON THIS

When was the last time you saw your best friend? ugh. i don’t think ill ever see him. He sent me a picture today, it was really nice to see his face.

Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? nope.

Are you tired right now? eh, not terribly.

Do you like spring rolls? I do.

What do you live on in terms of a street, road, crescent, place, court etc? street

How many purses or handbags do you own? like 5

Do you get along with all your aunts and uncles? no. some of them I never ever developed relationships with because their parents hated my dad.

Have you ever eavesdropped and heard something you didn't want to hear? Yeah gahhhh i hate that

When was the last time you used a pen, pencil or marker? uhhh yesterday I think

What's your favourite type of curry? None.

Do you often go to do or say something and then just forget? not often

Have you ever had casual sex? Noooooooo. not my thing

What was the last thing you paid for with cash? clothes

What's the last letter of your middle name? h

If your phone rang right now from a number you don't know, would you answer? Nope. I hardly answer for numbers I know

How long is your hair? middle of my back

What was your first pet's name and how did you pick that? Millie. I didn’t have anything to do with that, I was a baby.

Do you drink diet or regular soda? diet. I don’t like the taste of regular.

Have you ever been to Europe? No, but I’d love to go.

Do you worry about your own health? I try not to.

Who did you last make plans with, and what plans did you make? family. 

Can you smell anything right now? Not at the moment, no

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? I was 18 or 19

When was the last time you bought a pair of shoes? ooo boy, its been a minute. I need new shoes, and I also need to get rid of old shoes.

Do you like fruit and vegetable combo juices? not at all. maybe I need to revisit them.

Have you ever been on a spring break trip? Yep yep

Would you rather be warmer or colder right now? colder always.

How tall are your highest heels? I have like 4″ heels but I shouldn’t be wearing them anymore

What's your favourite flavour of frosting? omfg i want frosting so bad. any flavor

When did you wake up today? I fell asleep around 430am and then woke up around 545 my time. 

Do you change your appearance often? I mean, hair color yeah.

What colour are the street signs in your town/suburb? Green

How many people do you work with? --

What was the last thing you ate? piece of chocolate.

Do you have any plans for three hours in the future? either this or sleeping

Has anyone ever made a comment about your weight that offended or upset you? people have definitely made comments about my weight before. just leave me aloneeeeeeeeee.

---- i wish i really was the most important thing on the planet to you. :( maybe then you’d have picked me? </3

[barelynakedthoughts]

Wow, the past few days have been unreal. I last updated on Thursday in the morning soon after they had started pumping in pitocin. From 12pm, May 12th, until 5 am, May 14th, I was dealing with contractions. 41 hours of early labor and it only led to being dilated by 4cm.

I used a fitness orb, a fitness peanut, slow dancing, varying leg positions. Nothing pushed me into active labor. They kept saying to make it to 6cm and we'll be in the home stretch. The contractions got so strong throughout the day, too. I didn't want an epidural because I didn't want to do it so early. If the beginning took this long, can the ending really be that short? I wanted the baby in my arms but I knew he wasn't ready so I waited for him to give me a sign. (Note we can freely say pronouns now)

I believe at 10am on May 13th, they broke my water because I had made it to 4cm. It felt like things were moving so nicely! The doctor who came in at 6 am wa snot very comforting -made me cry. She gave me minimal answers and her visit was brief. Had I obtained the knowledge of inductions and labor that I have now, I would have been okay, but it was all so new to me and she was very curt after working her 24 hour shift. I wish she would do people favors and just not do those shifts. It would give her a better bedside manner. She basically gave me my first crying spell and I felt so desperate for four hours.

A new doctor came in soon after that. She reminded me of General Holdo from Star Wars, except I have no clue if she had purple-ish hair. Though Jackie, the nurse who talked a lot, had purple-ish hair. I could see it sticking out through her hair cap thing. Our room was always dark so I didn't really see much going on. Anyways, they broke my water and the contractions quickly turned into pain, pain and more pain. Not cramping pain, but pain nonetheless. I was on 2-30 levels of pitocin (whatever that means), and when the water broke, I was contracting every 1-2 minutes for hours on end. I breathed through all of them, dealt with the pain and kept my mind on the goal.

-----

I was thankful for the nurse we had the night before they broke my water, Shawna, because she knew how to just be there for me. When the new nurse came in after that terrible doctor visit, I wasn't all too thrilled cuz she talked a lot and overexplained things, but she at least made it very apparent that she cared. Shawna came back later in the evening, but she wasn't my nurse. She just knew that I liked her and she just wanted to help. It was a relief to have her there for a little bits she came in on.

-----

May 13th was like one last date day between Ryan and I. Besides the constant pain and regular contraction pauses, he and I just talked, hugged, watched Falcon and Winter Soldier, cried, laughed, and appreciated the other one being there. We barely got any rest. Though Ry was able to get a bit more than me, but not much. It was honestly a blurry of a day for me since I spent most of staring at focal points (the red light from the TV being turned off or Ryan's eyes or the up button for the bed or even this white piece on a red container on the baby's soon-to-be panda warmer). Im trying to write as much down as possible, but I know I'll miss a few things.

-----

As the day progressed, my energy level dropped substantially. I gave up my fitness orb life and I embraced bedrest for the first time in the pregnancy. Going to the bathroom was difficult and I was constipated. Stupid magical hemorrhoids that appeared two days before going in the hospital.

Those pesky IV issues got worse. As my pain increased, I had to deal with a 5 IVs. After the one in my elbow went off sixty thousand times, the nurse finally called the anesthesiology team to try another spot but with a deeper vein. She found it with an ultrasound, which was neat, and she had to really numb my arm to get it in there. It was the best IV, though. It really stuck in there and I only had minimal issues with the IV tower. Thank goodness because I was at my wits end at that point. Though Jackie ended up finish the IV and reconnecting my pitocin and fluid drips...she taped the IV to my hospital bracelet. So when anyone tried to scan it, I had to twist my arm painfully.

The one time, the food people came. I twisted my arm to have them read it, and they didn't even scan it....but we'll the damage was done. I had accidentally disconnected everything. The IV started gushing blood like a fountain and I just sat on my fitness orb with nothing much to do but hope it stopped soon...or that someone would come in. My husband actually had to go get someone because there was blood everywhere. All the while, I was contracting every 3 minutes at that point. So a fountain of blood just pushing out while squeezed my own legs. What a trip! The final IV sat in my arm up until May 15th...it was annoying to breastfeed with it in. I had to finish my toradol pain meds before it could come out.

-----

As the day went on, I kept contracting but nothing changed...at 10pm, they finally told us our options: more of the same or having a c-section. We were looking at a failed induction if we didn't progress to 6 cm by 5am, May 14th. At the point, it would have been 18 hours post my water being broke and the chance of infection would then steadily increase. I didn't take the news well and I cried. My night time doctor, who I had seen in the office and who is actually a midwife, was the one who broke the news. She tried to say it was natural to feel sad about this, but honestly...nothing was going to console me after here the word "failure".

Just like my sister, the pitocin failed. Before they officially said it failed, they did a pit rest (a 1-2 hour pitocin break) and then started the process at 2 levels again. We made it up to 10 levels before they called it at 430am. My cervix stopped at 4cm and there was no changing it. Though at that time, I had finally accepted the c-section. It was the right choice and it meant getting to see our baby sooner. We just needed to pray again for safety, healing and life...plus tell our families that I was having a c-section. They were wondering where we went for so long because I just cried for a while and asked that my husband not share anything until we were ready.

-----

The surgery was interesting. I wasn't really contracting anymore but I was exhausted, starving, shaking, and ready to be done. They wheeled me over without my husband so they could give me a spinal anesthetic, still no epidural. I sat there breathing in and out. Using yoga techniques to keep myself present and prepared for a flexible response. I hate the idea of needles going into my spine. I don't care about needles...it's the whole losing movement permanently issue. I need to be able to move and fidget to breathe calmly and react appropriately.

After they were finished, they slowly lowered me back. My legs went numbs and I started to shake uncontrollably. My teeth started chattering. It was if I was extremely cold so they put 3-4 warm blankets on me. I can't remember how many but I do know there were 5 total on me when all was said and done. They splayed my arms out like I was being crucified and I made sure not to move them beyond the shaking. I have no clue how long the procedure lasted but it was light outside when they were done. I believe it was less than an hour, but I honestly don't know. Time had become irrelevant yet so necessary by then. Time still hasn't recovered and it's been almost 3 weeks. (Note: I've been writing this on and off since the hospital stay.)

C-sections are weird. You're awake for the whole procedure and you can feel everything happening to you - the incision, the hands rooting around your insides for the baby, the baby coming out with their arms and legs hitting the sides of your open stomach as they leave, the uterus flopping around. There's just no pain involved.

When my baby came out, he didn't cry much, but when I heard his first squeal, my husband and I cried, too. He was finally here. Our baby boy was alive and well. A 7lb 5oz baby measuring at 20 inches even though he was a few weeks early. He was fully grown and ready to be with us. They measured him, cleaned him a little and got all his vitals while the doctors finished up with my stomach. They gave him to my husband to hold and I got to slightly touch the baby. I cried the whole time because of how happy I was. It was the most fulfilling moment and it was just the beginning of my son's life.

The surgeon was the OBGYN who recommended us to the fertility clinic three years prior, almost to the date. We had come full circle. She still has a weird bedside manner, but the whole thing was surreal. She did a good job and we all made it out safely. My husband was so nervous holding our baby. It was his first time ever holding a baby. I didn't want a c-section, but I was glad when everything was over. My legs remained numb for a while - a few hours I think? In order to graduate to the mother/baby unit and to eat, I had to be able to move my toes. It was a weird feeling to be able to move my arms and not my lower body. Around my incision, I'm still a bit numb there and apparently, I could be for a long time.

We took our first picture together and I look terrible, as if I had gone through pain for 3 days straight. My husband, the always photogenic one, looked great and our son could barely be seen. At least we have this family photo - even if no one else is allowed to see it. My body was still shaking. My shoulders were starting to hurt and feeling was coming back to my lower extremities slowly. They were prescribing me motrin, tylenol and oxy. I only took tylenol because the rest seemed frivolous. Sure, I was in pain, but nothing compared to the contractions and well, I survived all of that with just a tylenol here and there for headaches.

By about noon, I was starving by this point. It had been 30ish+ hours of early labor since I had last eaten. We ordered food (with some hiccups along the way) and finally got to eat when we arrived the mother/baby unit. It was then we started our four day stay of recovering, figuring out parenting, breastfeeding, and personal survival, and being interrupted every hour by nurses, doctors, consultants, social workers and who knows who else. I had only gotten about 2-3 hours of sleep in total during the 3 days of delivery. I matched this during the first few days of parenting, too. Even when I got home, I lived on 2 hours max for about three days straight. A week+ of no sleep really did me in. I was exhausted and finally got rest when I slept through a few alarms. Thankfully my husband took over that night because I needed it.

While in the mother/baby unit, our son had dropped about 10% of his birthweight. He was dehydrated and having a tough time pooping because of the weight loss. It was getting much milk because my nipples wouldn't stay erect while he was eating. Plus he kept falling asleep and it was hard to keep him demeanor.

A lactation consultant visited 6 times. I didn't like the first one, but then we lucked out with Renee for the rest of the visits. She was understanding and she didn't pressure us to breastfeed her way. She thought of different ways to encourage us and give solutions, such as a nipple shield or supplementing formula. Renee revealed that her oldest went through this as well and that it doesn't help when the hospital staff tells you how to do everything their way without listening to your needs. I commend her for her absolutely genuine care and reassuring assistance.

A few nurses were stellar (not Shawna awesome, but still great to have). Katie gave us our first few hours of rest. It also hurt his weight cuz I was delayed on the feedings, but she gave us swaddlers, extra blankets, shirts, etc. She also made sure to talk to us like we were humans and not patients who were leaving in a few days. Kristie was the first one to see me cry and she knew exactly what to do. She brought us the right sized nipple shield and flanges. She brought us a ton of formula. She helped ease my feelings of hopelessness transition into a sense of pointed purpose. The other nurses - Salimah, Anna, Natalie and a few others in the mother/baby unit were the best parts of the stay. Even if they all provided varying levels of care.

The doctors were too quick with their check-ins and I didn't really enjoy their presence. They had the best intentions but we felt like a mark on their checklist. I assume they have too much to do in one day.

The room was small for a three person family but large enough for everything we needed to do while there. Our baby had a little plastic tube of a bassinet with two drawers of storage. My husband had to sleep on the most uncomfortable couch out of the three he ventured on. I believe it was this one that he caught an ear infection from because he didn't use the bed setting. He used the regular couch setup because the bedding was slanting.

The bathroom was pretty big, though. I put many mesh underwear and large pads on in there. It's where a nurses used a perineal bottle on me and showed me how to use it. It's where I took my first post-surgery shower and found out my stomach was numb still. I liked our original room with the induction unit best because of the couch for my husband, and I loved the huge size of the labor/delivery room. The bathroom for the mother/baby unit was best. It was right next to my bed during a time when it was hard to walk. Plus it served as a dish washing site and a great place to rest from all the noises in a hospital.

I had a catheter in from the c-section and by the time they took it out, I was very hydrated. Peeing clear impressed the nurses who took it out - I guess it's the little odd things that make the day better.

My husband and I fought multiple times in the hospital and since coming home. We're exhausted. We don't fight often, but when we do, it is normally because one of us is tired...and well, we're always tired right now.

-----

It's now 6 weeks post delivery and our little guy is doing well. He's a tad under the weather (doctors says a cold), but otherwise he is 11 pounds and 22 inches long. He grows pretty fast so he may be heavier by now.

These last few weeks have been very tough and I've gone through a lot of emotions. It's a lot of work and we asked for it. We really wanted a child and now we're finding out how hard it is to raise one. Yet would I trade my son for anything? No. This shows how bad we wanted a child and also how much we are still willing to sacrifice in order to hold him for many more years. The birthing experience was not what I wanted, but he came home. That's all I prayed for...and it's exactly what we got. I can only be thankful to God for his life right now. My heart feels warm.

-----

This post took six weeks to write because I don't have much time anymore. Most of it was done while in the hospital, but some parts had to be completed or filled in afterwards. It barely covers everything that happened during our 6-day stay. It was a long and arduous time, and now we are met we an harder time of caretaking. Parenthood is so glamorized and I'm here to tell you how much it shouldn't be. The afterglow is wonderful and the heart fuzziness is neverending. No, seriously. I feel joy even when my son is crying and I don't know what to do to help. Yet, we paint pictures of cuddling babies and doing fun activities, but it's a lot more than that. Make sure you want a baby before having one. It's a lot of work to get to the time where they can take care of themselves alongside you. It's years of waiting for them to grow old enough to just pee on their on own. It's many days wondering if you're doing okay as a guardian. You just hope they survive your mistakes and your novice-abilities of taking care of a human life. As rewarding as it may be, you are forever changed. For at least the beginning parts, you will not have much time to do anything for yourselves besides eat and sleep, which is still something you lose and have to reteach yourself and your baby how to do at the same time.

I'm not complaining, just not being dishonest. I'd rather be open about my struggles than to sink in self-negligence. Sure, I probably have postpartum depression in a mild sense, but I am actively working to go beyond it. It's been tough to not have much time for myself, but I can't give up. I have to do this for my baby and for my husband. I have to keep going for myself, too. I owe it to me.

[burningdarkfire]

ok thinking about nov 5 tho

the day before i had stayed up until like 430AM talking election results and politics and general social justice stuff with a close friend of mine, which was incredible in itself because the two of us simply Do Not Talk about things like that (we have close enough viewpoints but Very different conversation styles and simply acknowledge that it’s not productive or enjoyable for us to talk about such things at any frequency). all of that was well and good but we also talked about how much we had grown since “meeting” each other at 18/19 and he was like yeah, you went from “veritably an asshole who i would be embarrassed to introduce to anyone else” to “one day you’re going to have to meet my kids and eat my bbq when i go full Dad”. and he was like i know you didn’t do it “for me” or anything but i hope you get it when i say i think you’ve done a good job.

tbc i said similar things to him so this wasn’t jsut a really weird one-sided conversation but this text post isn’t about him, it’s about me and thinking about what he said. anyway i feel like there have been exactly two (2) people in my life who have taught me how to be happy, one of whom i actively put on a pedestal for years until i didn’t, and anyway speaking of which, i’m going to go watch bo burnham’s make happy again and i’m taking a sick day from work tmr lmao

[wordswitharielle]

February 24th

Sign out at 430am after an unrested night from frustration and a rock hard bunk bed.

Walk over to the car to watch Adams slide in the mud and fall on her face while simultaneously seeing you hug a snail trailing LT. Now wanting to laugh at Adams covered in mud but unable to because this LT has me seeing red.

Queue the passive aggressive comments while remembering we promised no arguments. Make it super uncomfortable for the two sitting in the back seat so that when their ride comes they waste no time cramming their bags into the getaway car.

More silence. You finally break it, but just for a moment. No, I’m not mad. Not really, it will be short lived. More silence.

The sun starts to rise. I can’t not talk to you anymore. The hotel was a bust for a resting place this morning but I have other things in mind.

Thinking of the time we spent most of the day in a cafe in Kingston. I know we can kill time if we find one we like.

30 minutes on the gps. We get lost in conversation about work and the little things we need to vent about. I keep forgetting to give you directions. You don’t get mad, we just laugh.

We arrive to Patika. It’s cute and quaint. Debating on if scones are too hard or not, we order a latte. Sip, kiss, repeat. It’s still early...just after 7. We can’t check into our bnb until 3. I had suggested a movie last night, you finally realize it’s a good idea. But first, you suggest “Mimosas?” Check the menu, there’s a wine list. It’s a bust. At least for the cafe.

Movie starts at 10. Pit stop for mimosas on the way. Drive around looking for parking way longer than we need to but I don’t mind because we’re together and laughing. Parking garage it is. Snooze, an a.m. eatery, how fitting. We throw back two fancy mimosas for a quick buzz.

Time for a show. Birds of prey. We’re the only two in the place and thank god because we’re late and I didn’t like the seat options we had to select from.

My chubby boy needs a snack. You say you’re going to the bathroom but I know you’ll be back with snacks. And here he comes...popcorn in hand...YOU SON OF A BIIII- I’m covered in popcorn!!!!!! I’m laughing hysterically, I don’t even know what’s going on in the movie now but I’m not about to waste the popcorn perfectly seating on my belly. A piece for me, a piece for you. We giggle in between popcorn kisses and Harley blasting cops with bean bags. I shove a handful in my mouth, lean over to kiss you and tongue it into your mouth. I’m so seductive. Your mouth falls open in shock and amusement. What a waste of perfectly soggy popcorn.

The chairs are big and reclined. This arm rest is annoying and in the way so now you’re in my chair holding me close. Immediately want to fuck you. You know this though, so you slide my leggings down and kiss me. Nervous giggling with a hint of desperation for you to go down on me right here. You tease me. I’m ready to walk out and fuck you in the car. But we don’t. Movies okay. My eyes shoot open...opps we missed the ending, credits are rolling, nap was nice though.

Still a few hours left to kill. LUNCH!! Chi-lantro? Sounds interesting, I trust you but a little curious. We have to find the name worthy of a picture for your sister. But first let me eat these noodles....oh my god they’re amazing. Food babies, need coffeeeeee. This one is another win for you.

The coffee not so much. But the laugh I got when the woman stared stone faced through every single one of your jokes??? Might just have been worth it. Annnnnd we’re assholes....she has a handicap.... but if she only knew we were laughing with her and not at her! She had a little hand but it was the same size as your hands.....cute little baby Deadpool hands.

You got down on one knee. To tie my shoe.  Maybe next time. Just wanna be wifey.

Champagne, tequila, CHECK.

I’m only slightly internally concerned as you’re telling me the desire you had to crash into a ditch last week. You don’t get to leave me that easily.

We’re close to check in but still a bit of time to kill. I’m thinking it’s time to buy some fancy cheese.

Man there’s a lot of shanty towns in Austin. We drive for a short while and I get lost in thought.

WHOS FUCKING BOBBY PIN IS THIS!!!!!!!!!

We laugh, I’m too happy to be mad. Is it mine?? No way. I haven’t used any since we’ve been here. Kallis? Let me text her; nope. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation but i prefer to assume the worse. You’re a real mother fucker.

We’re here. This doesn’t look like a place I buy fancy cheese from....because it’s not. But there’s arcade games, I’m sold.

You can’t be a sore loser when you won one of the games...even though you have the genetic advantage for dance dance revolution, I let you have your bragging rights. Plus, I can’t be all that mad when I won mortal combat, Mario, AND basketball.

My 6 week funk is slowly melting away. Life is good today. I can’t stop kissing you. You keep grabbing my ass, a full handful. My little butt fits perfectly in your little hands.

It’s 3, we can check in!

Pit stop at the Bees Grocery. Cheese and juice. We gotta go, I gotta poop.

Home. It’s perfect. Wooden gate, blue house. I love everything. It’s small but I don’t want to be far from you at all during this time so i know it’s exactly what we needed. We explore every corner of the place in ten minutes. Strip down, let’s shower. Rainfall shower and you watch me shave the stubble from every inch of my body. Chewbacca in the house.

Fuck. It’s intense. I’ve missed you. I always miss you. I love your naked body against mine. Feeling you inside of me and I just want to be closer to you. My mind takes me far away to a place where there is nothing but you and me. Your body and my body as one. My eyes open and I look at you. My god you’re perfect. That soft brown skin and the way you smell, I just want to melt underneath you I’m so in love. You cum deep inside of me and it turns me on all over again. I don’t want this to end.

2 hours later. Your hand still in my hand, my head on your chest as you rest your head on mine. I’ve watched two episodes of Locke and key as you’ve snored intermittently. The only reason I want to move is to look at you sleeping and whisper I love you but even I don’t want to disturb you. I’ll let you wake up on your own.

You do but neither one of us is ready to jump out of bed. What’s for dinner?

I’m lazy. Nothing far, nothing fancy. Mexican it is.

Short walk, it doesn’t look promising but it doesn’t look bad. Comfort food and a margarita. We’re going to go right back to bed.

We have no real plans for tomorrow other than the spa. Let’s stop on our walk back at the wine store...just in case. A bottle of red for me and a wink from the handsome old man. Pssshhh you think I wouldn’t leave yo ass. Annnnddd you made a pregnancy joke. There goes my chances.

Short walk home. I like some of these houses. I wonder what it would be like if we lived together. Would you grow to hate me? What do I do that already drives you mad? I think we’d disagree on what utensils go in which drawers in the kitchen. But I think it’d be fun.

We’re back. It’s not that late so I’m making tequila and pineapple drinks. Let’s get drunk to Netflix and chill. We’ve kissed all day long and I’m still not even close to having enough. Keep kissing me.

I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep for but I need another kiss. It’s dark and you barely kiss me back but I heard you whisper you love me earlier, my heart is content.

[cywscross]

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6 | Pt.7 | Pt.8 | Pt.9

bloop

After a couple days and still no sign of his dad at home, Stiles is too impatient to wait any longer so he ambushes the man at the station instead, waves the papers at him, and flails about how awesome the tech camp will be.  He’s caught him at the perfect time too – the Sheriff is on the phone, probably with someone important, and he already looks exasperated before Stiles even opens his mouth.  Stiles only needs to ramble for about forty-five seconds for his dad to get the gist of it, and after an absent scan of the info package and permission slip, he signs his name on the dotted line, mouths have fun and make sure you have your phone turned on at Stiles, and then goes back to his phone call and whoever is squawking at him at the other end of the line.

Stiles suppresses a fist-pump and ducks back out of the office post haste instead, waving at Jenna on his way out the door and stuffing the papers away in his bag with his other hand. The Sheriff’s used to Stiles finding himself something to do over the summer anyway, whether that’s hanging out with Scott or (fake-)visiting people out of state, and so long as he doesn’t do anything that will land him in a jailcell (or anyone else in a jailcell for that matter), John Stilinski is just relieved Stiles won’t be around to stumble his way neck-deep into some kind of trouble that will mean giant headaches for everyone involved.

Parental supervision taken care of for the summer, Stiles hurries home to finish packing.  Peter will be doing the same, and Stiles will swing by to pick him up early tomorrow morning.

Afterwards, he does a quick run-through of the house, making sure nothing is too dusty and the garbage is taken out.  He did the shopping earlier but he double-checks the fridge anyway, making sure it’s stocked with frozen foods and boxed leftovers, the latter for which he quickly writes ‘EAT THESE FIRST’ on a slip of paper before taping that on top of one of the containers.

Almost eighteen years and Stiles honestly still doesn’t know whether or not his father can whip up anything more complicated than a cheese sandwich.  Claudia did all the cooking when she was still alive and well.  Then there was a period of time in-between when he and his dad literally ate nothing but takeout and instant noodles and canned soup.  And once Stiles managed to teach himself, he’s been doing the cooking ever since. If the Sheriff ever cooked, Stiles can’t remember it.

So when he’s not around, he always makes sure the house has enough food to feed his dad, even if it is terribly unhealthy, but it’s not like he doesn’t know the Sheriff sneaks burgers and other junk on a near-daily basis anyway.  He just pretends he doesn’t know because he’s long since resigned himself to the fact that all his health lectures will always go in one ear and out the other when it comes to his father.  Sometimes, Jenna manages to redirect the man from the nearest In-N-Out or pizza place to somewhere that actually serves a rounder meal, at Stiles’ request, but Stiles understands that the Sheriff is still her boss and she can’t actually order him to eat something healthier, especially since it’s personal business.  So Stiles makes up for it during the meals that his dad shows up for, and it’s why he almost always ignores him whenever the man complains about all the vegetable dishes Stiles serves him.  Very rarely, he gets steak with his pasta, along with a large side of asparagus, but that’s the extent of Stiles’ leniency.

The Sheriff will get the whole summer to indulge his terrible eating habits this time, and the mere thought of it is almost enough to make Stiles want to cut his trip short.

Almost.  But Stiles also thinks of open roads and city lights, and he remembers sitting at the back of a bus, crammed in the corner by a window as it trundles along the quiet countryside in the early hours of the day, taking him from one town to the next as he watches the sun creep over the horizon through sleepy eyes, and there’s no way he’s giving that up.

He sweeps through the rest of the house, pausing to tape more instructions in the laundry room because his dad is okay with the dishwasher but Stiles knows he always gets the washing machine and dryer settings wrong when he has to do his own laundry.  Fortunately, it’s a problem that can be prevented easily enough.

He leaves the weekly shopping list on the dining table with the envelope of discount coupons, and beside that on another sheet of paper, Stiles scribbles a reminder to eat at least a few salads, to not work too hard and sleep in an actual bed, and to be careful while he’s at work.  It’ll probably make the Sheriff roll his eyes but at least Stiles can say he tried.

Duties taken care of, Stiles finishes off yesterday’s leftovers for dinner before getting ready for bed.  He’s planning to be up by four, and he doesn’t want to oversleep.

His phone buzzes just as he’s pulling the blankets over his shoulder.  When he checks, it’s a message:

:I’ll see you in the morning, Stiles.:

Only Peter, Stiles muses, could make a simple text sound like both a threat and something between a question and an expectation at the same time.

:430am: He types back.  :don’t oversleep or il call u lazywolf forever:

:I would never.:

:Goodnight, Stiles.:

:nite peter:

At 4:28am the next morning, Stiles pulls up outside Peter’s apartment building to find Peter already sitting on the bottom step of the stairwell waiting for him.

“G’morning,” Stiles mumbles around the coffee he just bought, thrusting the second one at Peter as the werewolf slides into the passenger seat and tosses his duffel and sleeping bag into the back.

“Good morning,” Peter casts an amused glance at him as he balances the coffee between his thighs and digs into the McDonald’s paper bag for a breakfast burger.  “Don’t wrap us around a tree before we even get out of town, Stiles.”

Stiles cracks a yawn. “I just need the caffeine to kick in, and then I’m good to go.  You got your passport and stuff together?”

Peter nods, fishing out his wallet.  “Driver’s license too, and I have access to one of my bank accounts again.”  He smirks almost grimly.  “I always knew it was a good idea to keep a private account that my family didn’t know about.  And things get done much faster when people owe you a favour or two on the illegal side of life.”

Stiles rolls his eyes but he can’t exactly refute that.  And at least Peter has his identity and some money again.  He already knows the werewolf still hasn’t gone to Derek to ask for his share of the Hale Pack money, never mind the insurance payouts from the fire, and Stiles can’t even blame him.  Stiles wouldn’t go begging either.  It feels wrong to have to ask for that kind of thing from someone in the first place when at least part of it – if not most, considering Derek wouldn’t even have been working six years ago and therefore wouldn’t have contributed a single dime to the family accounts – should rightfully belong to Peter, and doubly so when that someone is both your family and your murderer.  There’s just something seriously twisted about that.

He takes one more gulp of coffee before setting that aside and pulling out of the parking lot.  It doesn’t take more than a few minutes to merge onto the road that would lead them out of Beacon Hills, and another ten minutes sees them driving past the Thank You For Visiting Beacon Hills! sign.

“So where to first?” Peter enquires, absently rolling the window down to let the wind riffle their hair.

“Maps are in the glovebox,” Stiles tells him.  “But I was thinking we could head up to San Francisco first before crossing the Oakland Bay Bridge and going straight east from there?”

Peter shrugs.  “Sounds good.  I haven’t been to San Francisco in years.”

“I went last year, and the year before that, but I always just passed through,” Stiles admits. “Maybe we can stop for a day or two this time?  If you can remember any favourite restaurants or something, we can go to those.”

Peter brightens.  “The Orpheum Theatre, Stiles.  That’s a must if we’re stopping.  Maybe we can even watch something if tickets haven’t been sold out.”

He whips out his phone and presumably begins looking up shows and availability.  Stiles grins and turns most of his attention back on the road. He can’t say he’s been to many theatres – there’s only one in Beacon Hills with an actual stage anyway – but hey, he likes musicals, and it’s nice to see Peter already enjoying himself, with plans of his own for their road trip.  Stiles was a little worried that Peter only wanted to come because he didn’t want to be left behind, and that was probably a part of it, but it looks like the werewolf’s pretty happy about the road trip itself too.

He speeds up as they turn onto paved street, and Peter glances up, looking almost startled.  The first rays of dawn are streaking up over the trees and across the sky from their right, making the leaves glimmer green-gold and painting brushstrokes of orange gilded with the faintest hues of pale blue across the dark night canvas.

Something in Peter’s expression eases at the sight, like an invisible weight being taken off, and it erases some of the lines on his face.

“…I’d forgotten,” Peter murmurs after a long moment of peaceful morning silence, with only the wind crooning in their ears.

Stiles glances at him even as Peter’s gaze remains riveted on the view blurring past the half-open window on his side.  The man tilts his head back and settles deeper into his seat, putting his phone away in favour of unwrapping his burger.

For a while, it doesn’t seem as if he’ll finish his thought, but then he says, quietly, “I’d forgotten, that the world isn’t always so terrible.”

Stiles says nothing in response.  It doesn’t seem like something that needs an answer.

Not when he started travelling to remind himself of that exact same reason.

They reach San Francisco a little before nine, and they end up checking into a hotel just a ten-minute walk away from the Orpheum Theatre.  They drop off their bags and duck out again to sightsee, with Peter taking the lead as familiar locations come back to him.  They go to City Hall, the Opera House, and a truly astounding number of churches. Peter’s fascinated with their history, and Stiles learns more about their architecture and design, reconstruction post-earthquake, and even famous events that took place in them than he ever did at school.

They stop for tacos in-between before Peter shows him the Main Library.  It’s a large white building, with seven floors total and a glass ceiling.

“I’m pretty sure I saw this place in City of Angels,” Stiles mutters.

Peter rolls his eyes and drags him off to see the Asian Art Museum next door, which is apparently where the old Main Library used to be before the Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989 hit it.

“Are you sure you were a lawyer and not a history professor or architect or something?”  Stiles asks suspiciously.

“Very sure,” Peter snorts, mouth twisting oddly.  “…Teaching history wouldn’t really have benefitted the pack, so it was always more of a hobby for me.”

Stiles studies him for a moment, and he doesn’t push when Peter doesn’t continue.  Instead, he points at a colourful mural on one side of the building they’re standing in front of.  “Tell me about that.”

Peter’s more than happy to continue as Stiles’ tour guide, but they do eventually need to head back to the hotel for a shower and a bite to eat if they want to make it to the production at the Orpheum Theatre tonight.

They watch Billy Elliot, and it’s a lot better than Stiles thought a live theatre production would be.  Beside him, Peter stays intent and focused the entire show, only stirring for intermission, and he almost looks teary-eyed at one point.  Stiles spends the time with one eye on the stage and one on Peter – he can’t help it, it’s one of the most human moments he’s ever seen Peter in, and he thinks that’s more fascinating than the production.

The actors deserve the huge round of applause at the end, but the enthusiasm Peter shows still takes Stiles by surprise.  The smile on his face, even more so.

“Did you have fun?” Peter asks on their out with the chattering crowd.  The werewolf slants an amused look at him.  “What with staring at me the whole time.  We could’ve stayed at the hotel for that if I’d realized you were so fascinated by my face.”

Stiles flushes.  Busted.  “I wasn’t- well, I mean, not the whole time.  And,” he tacks on defensively, “you were… different today.  Happier, I guess.  And I’ve just never seen that before.”

Peter arches an eyebrow. “I assure you, Stiles, I have been quite happy spending time with you over the past couple of months.”

Stiles’ cheeks feel hotter than ever, and he splutters wordlessly for a moment, floundering for something to say.  Nobody’s ever-

“I just mean you were happy over doing something!”  Stiles hastily amends.

-told him they were happy to spend time with him before.

“I had no idea you were such a history buff!”  Stiles rambles on, not giving Peter time to say anything else potentially embarrassing. “And you really like theatre, huh?”

“When performed well, yes,” Peter nods.  “And tonight’s was excellent.”

“It was pretty good,” Stiles agrees, relaxing a little.  “I’ve never been to one before so it was interesting to see how different it was from movies.”

You poor deprived child, Peter’s face practically screams, and Stiles has to roll his eyes and dig a pointy elbow into the man’s ribs. Peter flashes his eyes back at him, as playful as they are bright under the sidewalk lights.

They make their way back to the hotel, and they’re both tired enough to retire to their room directly, ordering room service instead of going out to find someplace to eat.  The room isn’t big but it’s comfortable enough for two, furnished with two twin beds, a clean bathroom, and a table and two armchairs they can eat at.

“Did you stay at hotels when you travelled alone?”  Peter asks after swallowing a mouthful of his halibut dish marinated in a garlic-butter sauce.

“Cheap ones mostly,” Stiles shrugs, reaching for his water.  “Sometimes I slept on the bus if it was an overnight one.  And once I walked from Portland to the next town so I just found trees and bushes to sleep under.”  He grins at the appalled expression Peter aims at him.  “It wasn’t that bad.  Better than sleeping in some stranger’s car when they gave me a ride, right?  And you’d have no problem doing the same if you went on a road trip without a car.”

Peter actually presses a hand over his eyes for a moment before lowering it and giving Stiles the flattest, most unimpressed look possible.  “Yes, but unlike you, I can rip anyone’s throat out if they’re stupid enough to try something.”

Stiles just waves a dismissive hand.  “I was fine though.  So you know, all’s well that ends well, right?”

Peter heaves a deep sigh like the dramatic asshole he is.  Stiles rolls his eyes.  “I’m alive.  I never even had to stun-gun anybody.”

Peter still looks kind of dubious but at least he eases up on the judgemental concern routine upon hearing Stiles – obviously, because he’s not stupid – at least carried around a weapon.

“You worry too much,” Stiles tells him, returning to his fish.  “Besides, I have you this time, and I promise if anybody attacks us, you can put the fear of God in them.  I draw the line at killing them though, unless they try to kill us first.  And I have my jeep.  I didn’t tell you to bring a sleeping bag just so it can take up space, you know.  The backseat of my car folds down, and we won’t be able to stretch out or anything, but it should be big enough for two when we stop in the middle of nowhere.”

Peter sighs again but relents with a nod.  After a moment’s consideration, he adds, “It’s not that I think you can’t take care of yourself, Stiles, but there are still a lot of things out there that won’t spare you just because you’re young.”

Stiles snorts and jabs his fork at him.  “I already know that, Peter.”

Peter studies him for a long minute before nodding again.  “Yes, I suppose you do.”

The matter is dropped, much to Stiles’ relief.  Peter’s never been prone to pushing an issue further than Stiles can stand, so there’s that at least.

They finish the rest of the meal in companionable silence.  Peter pushes the cart back out into the hallway afterwards, and Stiles ducks into the bathroom first to get ready for bed.

The room has two twin beds so they each get to claim one.  He’s used to being in much closer proximity with Peter than this so it doesn’t feel too strange as he watches the werewolf check the locks before getting into bed as well.  He spares a few seconds to tap out a text message to his dad that he’d arrived safely at camp before plugging his phone in to charge.  Peter uses the other socket for his own phone, and then he reaches over to click off the lamp, leaving the room awash with shadows.

“Peter?”

“Hmm?”

“You had fun today too, right?”

There’s a helpless sort of fondness in Peter’s voice when he responds.  “Silly boy.  Of course I did.”

“Good.”

[natashawitwicky]

I have finally have the time to pen down my thoughts and also it’s almost 1am and I’m not sleepy cause coffee. I also have a 12 hour shift tomorrow so will probably regret this. 🥴

I have been stuck here in a hotel room for the past 2 weeks due to occupation hazard and covid-19. I also have been restless. I’m sharing the room with a colleague and honestly it’s been fine. We have not fight, hopefully it stays that way. Hahaha. Initially, I was supposed to be here for a month but then my request to go home on hari raya is approved. Alhamdulilah for that.

I have not updated this tumblr in years and I might have accidentally deleted the app from my phone. Hence the lack of updates. I will try to update more here (just like how I say I’m gonna update my daily journal. Hahaa)

Ramadan this year is different cause of this hotel stay. I have to wake up at 430am and eat sahur on my own before getting ready to work. Since I also share a room with my colleague, I was scared she might not be comfortable with me praying and hence I had not read the Quran as much as I want to. And now the last 10 days, my period came. 🙄🙄 like for real man. It’s only a couple more days. Honestly I do miss my family cause I need to be independent here on my own and it’s like meh. During this year’s Ramadan, I feel that I had a detrimental change to my lifestyle. I was praying more and I consciously tell myself not to listen to music as much. I relied on Allah more and let Him decide what is the best for me. It’s been good Alhamdulilah. I’m really praying tightly that Allah keep my heart in steadfast. It has not been easy but we’ll continue to try.

[jlo360]

So, I barely slept last night because I’m so excited about getting my @taylorswift tickets, the seats are amazing and I’m just so ready for it. I’ve been tossing and turning since 230am, it’s 430am now, alarm goes off in an hour. Kinda thinking about just getting up and doing some yoga to find my inner peace before I have to go in to work.

[derrickixyou]

all of the signs

crystal clear. right there. lies. uses me. selfish.

they were together when we first had sex. he denies it. the proof lies in her ig. they went to wingstop. why lie? her lipgloss kiss on his mirror. she had been in his new room. lies. no wonder pinocchio and aladdin are his favorite disney movies. fucking liars. how do i know he still loves her? it’s so obvious he is not over her and that she is the one who broke his heart. but he refuses to tell me the whole story. I know she cheated on him with his friend danny. they lost their friendship over her. danny still loves her but she doesn’t love him. she loves stephen. a married man with 2 kids. has issues but that’s her type. ugly with issues. she wants to take care of everybody. she gets pregnant by stephen and derrick starts doing heroin because he knows he’s lost her for good now because there’s no way he can afford to raise and take care of some other man’s baby. anyone’s baby for that matter. derrick wanted a family with her at one time. he envisioned himself having kids with her and taking them on their own trip to disney world. he never talks like that with me. he tells me he never wants kids. he will never love me as much as he loved her. i will always be second best to him. back to how i know he doesn’t love me and still not over her. he calls her baby ugly. he hasn’t made our relationship visible on fb. it’s set so only he and i can see that we are in a relationship. we are going on 2 years this november. he clearly still cares about her feelings because he doesn’t want to hurt her if she sees he has moved on. despite the fact that she clearly moved on. he doesn’t care how this hurts my feelings. i want to be with someone who wants the world to know he is with me. not hiding me. he says it is enough that his closest friends who he actually interacts with in real life all know about me because they have met me. that is enough. i need his ex to know that he moved on and is now with me. even if she knows, i want him to declare it on fb. he can’t talk about her without getting mad and refuses to talk about her like an adult. he cannot have a conversation about her period without getting mad and making me feel bad. i think he feels bad that he knows i know he has used me to rebound. he denies it but it is so obvious and he has to be retarded for me to not know. he’s hurt that she left him. she probably said some mean things to him that he can’t get over. how can you love someone new if you are still in love with the past. i am not saying he still entertains her, but his actions of keeping his phone locked, not giving me any passwords, acting really weird about me going through his phone, getting violently angry, is a definite red flag that something is still not resolved with her and he doesn’t want me to know about it. he told me he was going to change his number so he wouldn’t have to hear from her but that never happened and she still texts him once in a blue moon. the anger is still white hot. i honestly still want to blast a hole through her skull and leave that child an orphan. her baby dad don’t want nothing to do with it. i just need solid proof that he is not talking to her. because he acts like he clearly still has shit to hide and i’m tired of it. i wanted to cry earlier when we tried to settle down for the night and watch secret life of pets but he got mad and went to bed because he sensed i was still irritated and he refused to talk it out like a grown adult couple. now imma be up all night and still waiting when he wakes up to hash this shit out because i’m not done. i hate his gay friend who always texts him constantly. like leave my man alone already he don’t want your skinny ass little dick already. i feel like he’d go back to his ex in a heartbeat if we were to take a break. for sure. and amber, annalisa’s sister he used to fuck. yeah he has her on snapchat and ig but it’s ok and i’m not supposed to be mad about that. i don’t even like that he’s friends with annalisa because of her and i used to swear they had something too or that she had a thing for him, he swears up and down they didn’t they were just friends, only amber but that was over and done with.. whatever. i’m supposed to be ok with all this. i mention my previous guy friends and all a sudden i’m a tramp whore bitch. derrick is the only man i been with. so i don’t know why he trippen about anybody else before him. idk. i’m just being moody n really need to take my ass to bed but my stomach hurts for like the 3rd day in the row now and i’m feeling fed up sad and stupid. it’s all probably nothing but he did lie in the beginning and now for denying he remembers. he said he can’t remember anything that wasn’t important. funny how guys act that way. selective amnesia. think i’m really that stupid. i wish i could just forget this mess. i hate his stepmom for instigating this whole damn mess. she is to blame for this shitty ass night. fucking cunt. wish i could read or enjoy this movie but i can’t. he sound asleep in the bedroom and i’m up stressing. not fair. hate my life. everything sucks. feeling stuck. do i stay? do i trust? do i want a relationship living with him and his dad? hell no. i don’t wnna take care of his dad. we are not married. i have things i need to get together in my life. i ruined my car taking him to the dr. drove him to work every single day since we been together. 11/25/2015

6pm-430am. faithfully. religiously. lost sleep for him. lost years of my life for him. for what. selfishness. to be used. to be second best. never enough. never good enough to want to marry me or have my kids. no. second best to that ugly ass ex of his. fuck that hoe. i will kill her one day. i mean that.

[shann8n-blog]

I'll start off by letting you know a little about me. My name is shannon and I am 26 years old. I plan to write a book one day of my life... maybe this is where it will start.. Tumblr. My birthday is October 4th and I love the date 10-4 good buddy. I've only met three people with the same birthday. Only one with the same year and only an hour apart- her name is Britney is she's rad as fuck. I was born in Maine and lived there until I was 11- I then moved to my parents home state to help take care of my grandfather who developed Alzheimer's. That was 2002 ish and he passed away in 2005 after suffering a stroke in the basement of his house. I always wondered why he was even in the basement. It's also haunted and I still think spirits did it. He was out of control at the end he would steal his wife's car keys as he was not suppose to drive and he would drive all over. Luckily he had a buddy who was always around him. I'm pretty sure he worked for the mob. I'm super convinced. When he was in the hospital he would flash nurses.. hysterical. My dad started drinking in 2005 I'm not sure if he fell into his old ways being around his old pals or if he was depressed because his dad was dying. Needless to say he started cheating on my mom, and he stopped coming home. My mom left him and took my brother and I to a house my grandma owned, and we lived there for awhile. My dad started smoking crack and well that's for another blog. I finally moved back to Maine at the age of 25. I've been living here now for 1 year and 2 1/2 months. I'll always regret not moving here sooner but the world had different plans for me. Everything happens for a certain reason right? I bought a house a few months ago and I live with my ex boyfriend... and my youngest brother who is almost 7 his name is Dominick and I'm about to become his legal guardian for life. I will get more into that another time. He is the sweetest kid ever. Really sent from heaven. I like penguins and the color purple. My hair is purple and my eyes are hazel. I'm on ancestry DNA so take yours to see if we're related because my dad was adopted and I don't know who any of his bio family is. My favorite shoes are vans, and spring is my favorite season. I'm a tv binger but enjoy shows rather than movies. "Reality" is my thing but I do love greys anatomy, handmaids tale, 13 reasons why, wentworth and so on. I will binge so hard I will suffer the next day at work since I have to be up and out the door by 430am weekdays. Oh I work at Lowes 6 years and counting- In hopes I won't get fired I will leave it at that haha. Better save then sorry. I started with Lowes to be closer to my boyfriend at the time. Really a terrible idea didn't even have an apartment in that town literally don't know why I thought I could live with him and have a life, and turns out after recently talking to him we were actually dating. I save all my messages always especially from important people. So I scrolled back through time into a time machine really and found out in fact we weren't dating but he did express commitment to me. Oh to be young and so fucking dumb. It's funny the day I interviewed at Lowes as I was driving back to his apartment I got a call from Walgreens wanting an interview so I went and I had two jobs for a few months, but that relationship squashed and it was impossible to live 45 mins away and have to work 5am-10pm between two jobs everyday. I defiantly suffered for those months. So I quit Walgreens and started working back at this gas station in my town and balanced Lowes and the gas station for awhile. That sucked too but Atleast after work at night I could just drive home which was a 5 min drive. Quit the gas station after awhile because 2 jobs sucks. I'm surprised if your still reading because who really takes the time to get to know someone anymore.. and this is really pointless stuff but hey it's my life and this is what this entry is about. I'm rambling :) it's what I do and this is the perfect place.

[sofakingmanyrecords]

Took my lady to the airport at 430am. She’s going out west for the week to visit one of her best friends. I’m excited for the adventures she’ll have. That woman earned and needed a vacation!

I on the other hand will go into hyperoverdrive with finishing up my work space and hopefully the house in general. It has been almost a year since we moved in and a hell of a ride with my gramps falling and my dad dying… so between all that, my business and the house isn’t fully set up yet, but both are oh so close.

Tonight a good friend is stopping by, whom I haven’t seen since my father’s funeral in October. Hopefully we don’t drink too much as I’d like to go visit and spend the afternoon/evening with my mom on Saturday before I spend the coming 3 days working my ass off.

Also, I’m listening to this youtube track through a Bluetooth connection on my Sprout so the house is bumping hard at 549am! This is hi-fi living!

[jobsinthefuture-blog]

How to Wake Up Early at 4:30am Everyday and Like it!

New Post has been published on http://jobsinthefuture.com/index.php/2017/12/06/how-to-wake-up-early-at-430am-everyday-and-like-it/

How to Wake Up Early at 4:30am Everyday and Like it!

Updated December 6, 2017

Since I started my waking up early routine I constantly have friends and family asking me, “How do you wake up that early, six days a week? I could never do that!” They often just assume I am this weird morning person who pops out of bed with tenacious energy ready to go on a 100 cycling journey, or do backflips down the street.

I don’t wake up early because I am inherently a morning person. I wake up early because I want to maximize creativity, efficiency, and honestly I just take awhile to get going in the mornings. So, if I woke up at say 7:15am when I have to be to work by 8am, I probably would be late A LOT! I have developed a early morning routine to take control of my day!

Today I am going to let you in on my top 5 secrets to waking up early six days a week!

  1 ) Go to Bed Early/On Time

Now you might be thinking, “of course Ben. I could have figured that one out”. But how many times have you found yourself either bingeing on Netflix, social media, or my favorite past time Call of Duty. People crack jokes about these habits all the time, but it is NOT funny. You are wasting extremely valuable time that you will NEVER get back.

I like to get to bed before 10pm each day. Now if I am extra tired I try to hit the 9:30pm mark, or if my wife and I are out late with friends it lands around 10:30pm. You may be thinking “well that’s lame!”. But let me tell you, there is nothing lame about taking control of your day and accomplishing at least 2 hours of work and daily readings before anyone else even hits snooze. I like to get around 6 hours of sleep each night, so in order to do so I try and hit the 9:30 – 10:00pm mark!

  2 ) Look Forward to the Reason You are Waking Up

Often when I hear someone saying they want to start developing a morning routine they say something to the effect of, “I am gonna get up at 4:30am, run 40 miles, and drink a gallon of strait carrot juice!”. Honestly that sounds AWFUL! I hate to run and I would never wake up at 4:30am to do so, that is grounds for disaster for me! Although I really enjoy riding my bicycle, but I would never do so at 4:30am. That is just not my jam!

Ok, to be fair, maybe this is what you would really really enjoy doing with your morning. My point is that you want to be sure you can sustain this morning routine. The best way to do this is by waking up and doing something you like to do.

I wake up each day and read the Bible, post a new article onto my Jobs in the Future, and prepare new articles and brain storm topics for the following day. It truly pulls me out of bed each morning because I LIKE TO DO SO!

My morning Routine:

Wake up by 4:30am

Brush Teeth

Stretch for 2-3 minutes (Very Important! gets my blood moving)

Drink 2 Cups of water from 4:30am – 6:30am (Big Berkey Water Filter)

Work on Jobs in the Future

Read the Bible (KJV –  the old school on I use)

Eat a Solid Breakfast with my wife: Egg and a Bowl of Oatmeal

Half Cup of Oats (Best Organic Oats)

One Banana

Half an Apple

3 Spoons fulls of Protein Powder (Best Protein Powder EVER Click Here!)

Some salt and cinnamon

Take my Vitamins! (Garden of Life Mens Code)

Off to work at the office…

NOTE: I actually don’t drink any caffeine till about 8:15am when I sit down at my desk at the office. (Proof that it is all about a solid routine not loads and loads of caffeine)

  3 ) Exercise Daily

This is something I heard a lot and I honestly did not want to do until I found a time that worked really well for me and I began to enjoy my daily exercise.

Each weekday I take 25 minutes before I go to lunch and I do a moderate fitness routine in my office. I lift 15 pound dumbbells, perform some strengthening exercises and stretch. All I am trying to do is re-energize my body, keep my strength up, and stay healthy! I am not looking to become the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, I just want to start alert and healthy!

My Workout Setup:

Nike Free Rn

Athletic Shorts

Random T-Shirt

Yoga Mat

15 LB Dumbbells

On the Weekends I go Cycling ( Brooks Leather Saddle )

4 ) Take a Day of Rest

Now this is absolutely the crucial aspect helping me to sustain a 4:30am daily wake up routine. I take one day off every week! Taking a day of rest not only is something I do in order to re-energize, but it is a part of my faith as a believer in Christ and the creator God. We have been instructed to work 6 days and rest the 7th and so I have decided to follow this command seriously and it has been very rewarding. I have energy, strength and inspiration on the days I wake up early!

On my day of rest, I TRULY REST! I sleep in till about 8am (which if you wake up at 4:30am daily this is sleeping in), I spend time with my family, attend our local church, take a bike ride occasionally, and almost always snag an hour nap (I never nap during the week).

#4 is very simple, yet highly effective! Many people might argue, You are wasting a WHOLE day of work and productivity, but I will argue that you have already got that time back by waking up early and working HARD the other six days! Take some rest!

Best books I have ever read on working hard:

Every Good Endeavor, by Tim Keller

So Good They Can’t Ignore You, by Cal Newport

  5 ) Wake Up Early in 15 Minute Increments

This is the #1 most beneficial thing I have ever done. This is how I have been able to sustain waking early, consistently, for over 6 years. Say you want to wake up at 6:00am, but right now you sleep till 9:30am. You don’t want to just wake up at 6:00am for a couple of days, BURN OUT and then go back to your normal routine. That is why I recommend setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier each week to gradually reach your goal! I use to wake up around 9:30am everyday when I was in college and by the time I graduated I was waking up at 5:45am daily. I have now worked my way to 4:30am. sustainable consistency is the pathway to successfully rising early six days a week!

By doing this you will also program your body to wake up earlier naturally. I have found that over the years I usually wake up before my alarm even goes off. I end up using my alarm clock as a back up!

I Don’t rely on my phone! I use a super simple old school alarm clock just in case I don’t wake up a few minutes before my scheduled time:

RCA Digital Alarm Clock

Now if you want to get really high tech I would check out the Philips Wake Up Light. I have been wanting one of these for years!

Phillips Wake Up Light

  So there you have it! If you have ever wondered how some of your friends get so much accomplished in a day, you now know it is all about the early morning routine!

Now that You are awake early it is time to maximize your productivity. How to increase your income with one hour of skill development per day!

  Final Notes:

It is really important to maintain a healthy diet to have sustainable energy throughout the day. I eat a lot organic fruits, sweet potatoes, peanut butter, unprocessed whole grain breads, drink about a gallon or more of water per day, and enjoy organic teas (Earl Grey is My favorite)

Please let me know if there is anything you do that helps you wake up early! I would love to hear your feedback!

  Until next time.

-Ben Kaiser