#so i have *something* to eat but augh
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augh they're doing halloween cupcake decorating tonight and i want to go but i dont think i can... i'm feeling worse than i was this morning and i havent really moved all that much other than to use the bathroom and make some food in the microwave....
#shay speaks#i was gonna make dinner but uuuu that also doesnt sound like it would end well#tummy hurts :((((#i have some microwave mac and cheese which ig i'm gonna make the last of#so i have *something* to eat but augh#idk if i am going to work tmrw. i should decide soon and let my supervisor know
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What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
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@rancid-zinnia-onthepatio
hi hello, so uhm.. -drops this and runs-
thank you for the meal that is your [fic].
I started sketching this as soon as I read this scene. like I actually backed out and opened medibang just to sketch it before continuing to read LOL
it's ok y/n, we're all deeply unwell for that stupid man. I want to chew on him and savor him like the juiciest slab of meat.
#my art#phone art#the spectacular spider man#tssm au#I GUESS? I mean. it sorta is for that fic...#I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO TAG THIS.#I DREW THAT BACKGROUND MYSELF. PLEASE BE PROUD OF ME. I HATE BGS#again I defaulted to myself BUT. ough AUGH. the fic... I am eating so well..#even if I can't relate to the MC much.. the writing is DELICIOUS. I need to read more. see where this story is headed.#I may mostly enjoy wholesome cute stuff... but I do like to indulge every now and again in something spicier.
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Had some sushi, laughed and hugged my friends, made more plans for the next few weeks, maybe will do something on my bday after all, got to wear boots and an umbrella at last. There *is* some good in this world, you were so right Sam. It *is* worth fighting for.
#believe or not i am 100% sober. just feeling very sappy and appreciative of people and things for once#also i look hot!! autumn clothes at last!! (even if it is still a bit too hot because HUMID. AUGH. MY HAIR)#saw a friend i hadn't seen in many many months!!! we talked!!! i was brave and told her i was struggling!!!#it was my best friend's mom bday. she fr is like a 2nd mom and dear friend to me. 50 years!!!!#i wish you could all meet her she's so cool and awesome and amazing and warm 🥺#anyways. yeah. life is good#be kind have hope eat something etc etC
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:(
#ive been a lot more exhausted recently#my mental health is getting worse#i can barely keep my eyes open#let alone get out of the bed#i haven't been eating#but im trying to#im pretty sure im depressed. but i have no one to talk about it#just me and my thoughts#there's something wrong with me#theres so many thing i want to say#but i dont know how to say it#drawing isnt as fun or comforting as it was#augh ignore this im just going through a depressive episode#I'll be okay#i have a lot of people cheering me on to keep living#to stay alive#to stay safe#and im not going to let them down#I'll be fine#I'll force myself to eat. sleep. etc#i need to be okay#im going to be okay.#i just need a break#personal
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me whenever the short story "something ends, something begins" is mentioned, or not even mentioned, but i have an opportunity to mention it myself
#it is my FAVORITE... if i may bestow such a title... but it's like the witcher fandom's best kept worst-forgotten secret#i love jokes i love in-jokes and i love non-canon presents and silly imaginings that will never be real#im sorry the bouquet looks a little cheap at least it is of white roses which is what yennefer had#i was too busy focusing photoshopping a folk vest on elmo's little body#because i wish to eat a third donut#witcher memes#the witcher#story: something ends something begins#the witcher books#i mean sesb just has some of my favorite favorite moments of all time#''course i know. that's why i don't get married' top 10 dandelion-est dandelion moments#nenneke being their officiant... AUGH#ciri having teenage angst (intense revenge fantasies) so much she almost couldn't enjoy her parents' wedding#GERALT CALLING CIRI HIS DAUGHTERRRR#(which doesnt even happen in the saga if you can believe it!)#yennefer healing ciri and dirtying her dress...#ciri#yennefer#geralt of rivia#dandelion#geralt and yen finally getting hitched and dandelion giving a toast (or roast ?)#wishing the couple a great wedding night for which yennefer kicked him in the shin... so in character i love it
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having the tfs doc open at all times so it haunts me like a looming specter whenever im not working on it
#ignorance cloud on#i need to write chapter 21.....but augh. the agonies.#i need to get something to eat i have no food in this house but going outside is so AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i hate leaving my house on the weekends i like sitting in here#well at least i have tomorrow off too. silver lining
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maybe the world isn't so bad after all. (<- just took a shower)
#i shuld probably eat something soon cause my stomach is starting to hurt....#i'm also going to lose my mind because someone left clothes in the washer and so tomorrow i'm going to have to REWASH THEM just so i can tr#and get rid of the “left in the washer for a bit longer than needed” smell it def will have. before i can put them in the drier. augh
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Nicola Coughlan the woman that you are!!!!!
#s3e5 posting#I am like so nervous watching these scenes but like secondhand nerves idk cause like as someone built a bit like her I just can’t wrap#my brain around it that we get these kinds of scenes#and like when the other two couples were going at it I was like eating it up but now I have to pause like every two seconds so I was like#ok I should interrogate that feeling I guess#idk#Augh tho Colin was sooo much more of a cutie pie last year I wish they had just left his face alone#bc like they were prob like oh he should be more conventionally hot and still want her that’s like saying something no idc abt that#let men have soft jawlines too was Simone Ashley’s not enough to power the show for several seasons alone#bridgerton
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Just lied to a friend about how much I didnt like my lunch so he would eat it for the sake of not wasting food 😎
#cons r so fun but also being around ppl who are like 'lol i havent eaten all day'... augh#ive 4d chessed you into eating real food and im forcefeeding u a bag of pretzels. enjoy <3#theyre my bag of pretzels actually bcos i. gave away my lunch. but its fine i had something proper for dinner#and ill try and get something else at our shift bcos its in the bar#EDIT UPDATE HE ASKED TO HAVE MY PRETZELS AS WELL!! LETS GO CHAT
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ugh art of akira losing their name
#stardust speaking !#the importance they put in 'u r akira before u r our sage' eats hat#oz' entire sidestory of calling akira by name#cain who switches between akira n sage by default cuz thats just how it is#pt2 where theyre all having lines where they call akira by name rather than sage#eats another hat#something something being called by ur role so much u lose urself something something grans dislike of being called singularity something#something predetermined role ure supposed to fit into something something meeting ppls standards something something being unintentionally#molded into someone else something something#augh#sighs i wanna read 3rd anni story........guess ill go watch the yt vids of this guy who reads the story out loud when i can
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^ had to think abt college
#its just so rahhrhhahrghghfhrhgjg#ok. so ive now confirmation that kids from here Have Indeed gotten accepted and gone to uni abroad#and that the school Will probably assist w that w letters of recommendation or whatever#and if that doesnt work out i can!!! try for this one college that isnt too bad and w a full scholarship too since im a student here should#i manage to get accepted so#but augh. i still rly want to go somewhete else. singapore maybe. america sucks ass but that one in nyc is rather good w a decent acceptance#rate but its tuition is also expensive as hell and ive probably 0 chance of a scholarship There.....#im gping to eat a sock goddammit#duck rants about something
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girl help I am recognizing the pattern
#fuck getting older you learn to recognize your brains own bs#sucks when the solution isnt just 'take a shower' (though it did help)#i need to go back to therapy I am so self critical and aware to the point it is paralyzing#'am I seeking these sensations as a form of self harm' NO!!!!! MAYBE!!!!!#i don't KNOW this is STUPID#anyway I gauged my ears and have been eating spicy food to feel alive and I am slipping ever further into this depression despite it all#i'm not sad i just don't feel anything. i want to be sad. that would be /something/.#i'm empty and scared and tired and I want to just.#sleep#HOW YOU SPEND YOUR DAY IS HOW YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE#AUGH#AUGHH#AAAAAUUUGHHHH#<- bearer of the sickness#I hope they weigh the stuff they cut out of me. I want weight and length like they do a newborn#have the surgeons take a pic of it like a tinder fishing profile pic#ideally i want it preserved in a jar so I can keep it on my desk#but sadly. it will go to the labs for biopsies. and then be incinerated.#kinda cunt. kind of metal. i can live with that#why are you reading this it's my DIARY. LEAVE
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jang keun-suk is attractive in a way that makes me want to bash his face in. annoyingly pretty. if that makes sense.
#random thoughts#yes i'm still watching the influencer. what of it.#i'm not supposed to say these things about real people.#ciel if you're reading this i hope you feel similarly. i don't know why. (':#because you make me feel. serenely happy. just generally filled with positive energy.#and also you're really pretty but in a way that is endearing and does not cause violent thoughts.#(/gen and /pos.)#i don't know if i deserve to be loved the same sort of way. if that's anything.#which sounds really fucking stupid it's midnight and i'm watching netflix okay!!!!#well okay it's midnight when i type these tags. this won't send out until the morning.#but anyway. augh. forget how stupid this sounds.#it's late. i want to eat but i shouldn't.#song about that sometime later because i'm so silly........#(<- can't talk about my problems so i have to hide them in my songs)#also why the fuck does wetboy look just like me for real. like. do you folks see the vision.#something about the collared shirt. and the hairstyle i had in 2020.#(i want to grow my hair back out once i start t. for gender purposes you know....)#2am update: i hear voices whenever i move too much. so uh. i should go to sleep. probably.#i won't. not for a while. but....
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i wish i was smarter. less stupid as they say.
#augh i can do math and i did well in school but i feel so dumb all the time#like...... okay for example a couple weeks ago my mom wanted to order food for my brother to where he was#but the address was to her house. so she tried to get a refund. no refund but they could cancel. i was like okay well i guess that sucks#hey mom you didnt cancel btw. why the hell would she cancel the food she was paying for if there was no refund. we could eat it!#im bad at puzzle games im just not... good at reasoning. i have no reasoning skills#i was playing purple with my sister and the amount of times she said something. and i was like omg wait yeah. would i even be able to get#through it without her.....#simons spouting
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my own body terrifies me which is why I treat it so bad...
#my post’s#my post's#lost weight again. feel like the ground fell out from under me#it feels silly and idk. ungrateful for something perverse in a way thats perverse in its own way. but losing weight is the scariest possibl#thing for me. what if I Starve and Die what then#but eating is so hard. cooking and remembering and wanting to and not gagging and finishing things....#I have no hunger signals or will to live and the only thing the fear does for me is make me expend more energy getting scared.#this is all highly exaggerated. I'm like idk. probably not even under a medically healthy weight. I don't want to step on a scale to check#but I really should#I wish I could be like the rest of my family. =[#augh. parme if you see this one sorry =/
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