#so i guess in a way it was just me finally letting myself entertain the idea for more then a few seconds

[moshieee]

HAI!

I wa wandering what inspired your recent tadc au? ALSO THE DESIGNS ARE JUST 👌 *chef's kiss

Check the tags

[joelmillers-whore]

Fuck Me Like You Mean It

summary: a miserable time out at a club turns into quite the night when you run into someone you least expected to see. 

word count: 4.9k

series or one-shot

warnings: SMUT, explicit 18+, MDNI, no outbreak, dbf!joel x f!reader, dark!joel, spanking, dubious consent at times, voyeurism, exhibitionism i guess, dirty talking, language, joel calling reader a cock slut, slightly creepy joel, unspecified age gap, daddy kink, brat tamer joel, hand job for a second, manhandling, dominant joel, oral (female and male receiving), semi-public sex, bathroom sex, jealousy if you squint. as always, if i missed something, please let me know. 

you are responsible for the content that you consume. please read the warnings before continuing with this fic. enjoy babes. 

A/N: i am so sorry firstly for teasing you all with snippets of this one-shot and then just not posting it lol, life has been a little chaotic, to say the least and i was just feeling so uninspired to finish it (literally i do this to myself). but so many of you loved the little teaser i posted and i couldn’t just not give ya’ll some delicious dbf!joel. so, here it is. 

ALSO, a huge thank you and shoutout to kylee @hellishjoel for reading and beta-ing this for me, i love you and your freakouts were so valid haha. forehead kisses.

main masterlist

The pungent stench of sweat curled around your nose, setting your already overstimulated nerves into hyperdrive. Possessive hands pawed at your hips, urging you back into their body, into their growing stiffness. 

Normally, you’d be all for it. The game. Going out each weekend, getting shitfaced with your best friend, entertaining men who you would otherwise have no interest in just to see them work for a moment of your attention. 

But not tonight, tonight you’d had enough of it all. The handsy men, the unrhythmic and too-loud music, and just the whole played-out scene really. There wasn’t anything to get excited about anymore, each weekend blurring into the same version of the last, and the one before that. 

It was boring and you couldn’t tolerate the lacklustre men around you for much longer. So, twisting out of the weak grip of the twenty-something you had been dancing with all this time, you abandoned them and your friend who reeked of desperation. 

She’d hounded you all week to go out to a club, hoping to get laid, vetoing your suggestion to just get drunk and find someone at a bar. Now, you were at a seedy club downtown, getting groped from every angle by mediocre-looking men who smelled of too much Axe body spray and sweat. 

The mere thought of the combination curdled your stomach, propelling you deeper into the club and all the way to the bar. You thought that alcohol might right your foul mood, your skin already pricking with annoyance at your current circumstances. 

Getting to the bar, it was as packed as you had been imagining. Everyone was contending for the bartender’s attention, demanding drinks that you were sure were as watered-down as your first shot had been. 

You sighed, wondering why you had let your friend talk you into coming out tonight, when it was the last thing in the world you wanted to be doing. 

Lack of desire for the club had turned into plain boredom now, every ounce of your body thrumming with the longing to escape. But you’d never just up and leave your friend, no matter how much you wanted to. You’d just have to grin and bear it. 

Tapping your finger along to the music, that wasn’t even good, the slow and melodic electronic music nearly putting you to sleep, you waited for your drink. Finally getting your drink from the bartender, you slurped it down, hoping the subtle sting of the alcohol would wake you up, and trigger something to make your night more enjoyable. 

You began to walk back to where you had left your friend, deciding to scoop her drunk ass up and take her back with you to your place to call it a night at... you checked your phone, a pathetic ten-thirty. But you stopped in your tracks when something caught your eye, or rather someone. 

Turning your head toward the seated area, which basically served as the VIP section without actually having the name, because there was nothing special about it. Old red velvet couches that had seen better days and probably had every fluid known to man seeped into the cushions, and wobbly tables that were smattered with decade-old stains. 

You squinted your eyes, the stage lights blinding you as you put a hand up, shielding your eyes as you attempted to make out a vaguely familiar shape that was sitting in said area. You took a tentative step forward, thinking that your eyes were deceiving you, the wild lights making you see things. Because there was no fucking way that you were actually seeing what you were seeing, no fucking way. 

Your eyes bulged out of your head at the sight. Your dad’s neighbour, Joel Miller, was sitting on one of the couches, a beer in one hand, his other hand disappearing below the cut of the table. Your eyes followed his hand, trailing down the length of him until they snagged on the back of someone's legs, kneeling below the table. 

Your lips parted slightly, completely caught off guard by what you were seeing. You were watching your dad’s neighbour— or better yet, his best friend, get sucked off at a club. Feeling your face heat, you looked away, embarrassment coating your skin. 

Your stomach lurched, turning with nausea and something else, your skin pricking with sweat as you glanced back up at Joel, meeting his already waiting eyes. Those chocolate brown orbs were blown, wide, and ghosting with surprise as he raked them over the expanse of you. 

His face glowed in the low light of the club, the flashing lights dancing and snagging your gaze to his lustful expression. The way that his eyes were heavy-lidded, the slight sheen that coated his brow, and the way that his chest rose and fell excessively. 

It was a scene that you couldn’t look away from, even though you wanted to. You wanted to get out of there and go... well, you didn’t exactly know. The longer that Joel’s eyes held yours, the more you felt yourself being drawn into his orbit, his world. Your chest began rising and falling in time with his own, and a dull throbbing began in your cunt, surprising you completely. 

You didn’t think that you’d be this kind of person, someone who was turned on by watching other people having sex. But you also couldn’t deny or explain the influx of wetness that saturated your panties. 

You awkwardly clenched your thighs, rubbing them together to ease some of the pressure you felt. Joel’s stare burned into you, causing your heartbeat to thrum erratically in your throat.

You felt sick and depraved and like you should be anywhere else in the world, but another part of yourself couldn’t look away, because you didn’t want to. 

You wanted to see Joel fall apart right in front of you, to see him burst at the seams and devolve into a fit of pleasure right before your eyes. And like you had wished it into existence, you watched as he tipped his head back, snapping his eyes closed, his whole body convulsing as he came. You’d be lying if you said that it wasn’t a beautiful sight to behold. 

Another gush of your own arousal leaked out of you, sticking the thin material of your panties flush against your cunt, rubbing against your already swollen clit. Fuck, you felt too hot and you needed to cool down, maybe splash some water on your face. 

Ducking out of Joel’s line of sight, you headed past the winding staircase, down a rather dark hallway, and toward a couple of heavy-set doors that housed the bathrooms. There weren’t many people around, only a few bodies scattered throughout the hall. 

Couples made out in the dark and you may or may not have seen a drug deal going down. But none of that mattered now, the only thing you needed to do was close yourself into a stall and try to get your hormones under control. 

Even though the thud of the music carried all the way down the hall, you could still hear a rhythmic thump of someone stomping in your direction. You turned on your heels, anxious to see who it was. Before you could even blink, strong arms shoved you past one of the steel doors, locking it behind you, before planting you against it on the other side. 

Your eyes trailed their broad and expansive chest, cresting at their salt and pepper beard and mustache, and settling on their sinful eyes. Eyes you had just been staring into moments before. It was Joel. Shock and something lustful coasted through you, sending a shiver of pleasure up your spine. 

Joel’s face was inches from yours, his breathing mingling with your own, the heady scent of beer invaded your nostrils. His eyes dipped to your lips and then lazily dragged back to your eyes. His hands were resting on your hips, keeping you between the door and his body, caging you in. 

“What’re you doing?”, you asked, swallowing thickly, trying to avoid his eyes. 

“What’s it look like ‘m doing?”, he replied, his Southern drawl coming out as thick as honey, making your thighs snap together. 

You shook your head gingerly, “Dunno...”. 

His lips quirked up, a sinister smirk plastered on his face, “Turn around”. His voice was gruff and assertive, making you quiver at the tone. 

You were stunned into silence, your mouth opening and closing like you were trying to catch flies, surprised by his forwardness. 

“What—”, you started. 

You couldn’t even catch your breath before Joel’s rough grip grabbed your arms, turning you around in his hold and pressing your front against the edge of the sink, basically bending you in half so that your ass was facing him, on full display. 

“This fuckin’ dress”, he mumbled behind you, fisting the material and tugging it up, bunching it around your waist, leaving your ass bare save for your drenched thong. “Wanted to fucking rip it off of ya”. 

You whined, pushing your ass toward him, your body completely under his spell, his raspy voice suddenly fulfilling every dirty fantasy you’d ever had about this man. It wasn’t as if he was unattractive by any stretch of the word, he was ruggedly attractive even. 

Your mind couldn’t concentrate on your thoughts of how attractive Joel was before a stinging slap came down on your bare ass cheek. You craned your neck, as best you could, but you felt another quick sting, forcing you to remain in the position you were in. 

“Fuck—”, you half-whined, half-mewled, both turned on and pissed off at the same time. “You can’t just—”. 

Another slap, harder this time, causing your body to jolt and instinctively wiggle away from the pain. 

“I can—”, Joel groaned, another full-palm slap on your ass, probably leaving a large, red imprint there. “And I will”. 

Joel’s other hand was pressing down on your back, pushing your face further and further toward the porcelain sink that wasn’t as white as it probably had been once upon a time. It made your stomach revolt against you, the combination of cigarette ash and week-old vomit was not the most pleasant scent. 

You felt Joel’s hand slip away from your ass, his fingers trailing over the back of your exposed legs, moving lower and lower. You attempted to look behind you again, his body not crowding you anymore.

When you did manage to sneak a peek, he was lowering himself onto his knees, spreading your legs farther apart by the back of your knees. 

Your eyes went wide, “What- what are you doing, Mr. Miller?”. 

Joel rolled his eyes, nipping at your sore ass cheek, causing you to jump. “So many goddamn questions”. 

You muttered something incoherent, a protest of some sort, but Joel wouldn’t hear it, only ignoring you and continuing on his mission. He pulled your deep red thong to the side, the chilled air in the bathroom hitting your exposed clit deliciously. 

“Mm, my favourite colour”, he groaned. 

You shook like a leaf as you awaited what came next, feeling Joel’s harsh breath closing in on your pussy, the anticipation actually killing you. It was like a shock to your system, the feel of his warm mouth suctioning to your lips, sucking and licking like he had been deprived all this time. 

Your hips pressed back into him, involuntarily chasing the sensation, the friction, the high. The brash feel of Joel’s beard tickled you, circling your entrance like a shark would its dinner. He licked along your folds, fucking his girthy tongue into your hole as he spread your cheeks further apart, stretching you painfully with the size of it. 

You were a moaning mess, hands strangling the edge of the sink, as you held on for dear life. Searing pleasure gripped your lower stomach, throttling your insides as Joel picked up his pace, helping you to your orgasm.

It came over you suddenly and violently, making you shake as you clenched your eyes shut, rocking back into him as light burst behind your eyes, making your body sweat and tingle with the aftershocks. 

You felt Joel move to stand, palming the flesh of your ass cheeks with both his hands as you took this opportunity to catch your breath. Your chest heaved as you lay virtually flat against the sink, your breasts squishing down painfully. 

Lightheaded and completely fucked out, you hadn’t even been aware that Joel’s hands were on you again, manhandling you so that you were turned around, facing him. He roughly gripped the hem of your dress, yanking the material down, your breasts popping out of their constraints. 

“D’you like what you saw earlier?”, Joel asked, his voice dropping an octave, causing goosebumps to erupt all over your skin. “Hmm? Was that sweet lil’ pussy weeping for me while I was getting blown?”. 

Your mind was clouded, a fog settling over each neuron, slowing down your capacity to think and speak, let alone to respond to him. You nodded your head, moaning in his ear, rubbing your jaw along his own, scraping your skin over his patchy beard. 

“Fuck”, he groaned, rutting his hardened bulge into your thigh, creating succulent friction for himself while you leaned back, taking it. “I almost blew my load when I saw that you were watching me, gettin’ off on seeing that”. 

You dropped your head to his shoulder, your mind still stuck in that post-orgasm haze. 

Joel gripped your chin in his fingers, tipping your head up so that your eyes were locked with his, “Eyes on me, darlin’. I ain’t finished with you yet”. 

You nodded again, your breathing coming out rushed as you gulped down heaps of air, filling your lungs, eyes locked on Joel’s. Your lids were heavy, vision clouded as Joel leaned forward, lips grazing yours. 

His teeth came down on your bottom lip, suddenly, making you yelp. The pressure was light, not as hard as you were expecting, not as hard as a part of you wanted. Joel groaned, his hands roaming all over you. Your hips, your stomach, your ass. 

Your hands raked up and down Joel’s chest, steadying yourself with the feeling of the coarse material underneath your palms. Your gaze flicked down to his buttoned-up shirt, to the three buttons that were undone, the dense hair on his chest, stippled with grey and white. 

He hummed, his chest rumbling below your fingers as you dipped them under his shirt, weaving through the loose curls, exploring the feel of him. His chest was solid, firm, strong, dependable. A strange wave of calm washed over you, igniting your confidence. 

“No...”, you breathed, your chest heaving, pulling one raspy breath after another from your lungs, “I’m not finished with you yet”. 

Joel’s eyes widened, his mouth parted, his tongue peeking out to swipe over his already glistening lips. A smirk tugged at the edge, his index finger slipping past your bottom lip. You opened wider, allowing his digit to slip into your mouth, the heedy taste of sweat and something sweeter settled on your tongue, your taste buds exploding with the tang of him. 

“Is that so?”, Joel cooed, his voice dripping, oozing with unbridled desire. 

He pushed his digit deeper into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat roughly. The intrusion was sudden, making your eyes snap shut as you tried your best to keep it together, to not give Joel the reaction he was looking for. But you gagged, all the same, drool pooling and dribbling out of the corner of your mouth.

You heard Joel click his teeth, a disappointed tsk coming from deep in his chest as he tried again, this time gripping your chin with his other hand, making sure you opened wide for him. 

“Come on, you can do better than that...”, he mused, his middle finger accompanying his index, sliding them deeper and deeper down your throat, until you couldn’t do anything but take it, the will to fight against the shock to your system fading quickly. “Show Daddy how much you want to suck his cock”. 

Your pussy began to thrum rapidly, your slick running down your inner thighs, making them sticky, making you even more of a mess than you already felt. You moaned around Joel’s fingers, sucking and bobbing your head along them as best as you could. 

His hand dropped from your chin to rub at your peaked and sensitive nipples, playing with them, distracting you from what you were doing. It was maddening, the sensation, the tweaking, the way he chuckled under his breath when you stuttered around him, groaning every time you took him deeper. 

He pinched your right nipple harder, twisting it, “Keep going, baby”. 

That was all the reminder that you needed. You shifted your focus back, inhaling through your nose deeply, taking his fingers down more, more, more. Tears bubbled along your waterline, making your vision of Joel blurry, and unfocused. 

Suddenly, he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, a thin line of your saliva still attaching you to him. Your attention was focused on the strand until it broke, your gaze sliding up Joel’s face, past his greying and patchy beard, his full, plump lips, and settling on his burning eyes. 

“Are you ready for Daddy’s cock now? Hm?”, he asked, in an almost mocking tone. 

You nodded, still a little dazed, still a little flustered. He grabbed your chin forcefully, his grip tight as he angled your head up, your eyes downcast as you kept them locked with his. 

“Tell me you want it, darlin’”, Joel’s face was inches from yours, his lips so close that you could push up on your toes and kiss him, feel them against you, but you didn’t, not yet. “Tell me you need it”. 

“I-I need it...”, you said, low. Joel’s brow raised, urging you to continue, “Daddy...”, you whined, your hips grinding into his thigh absentmindedly. 

Joel nodded, his pupils blown out, gleaming with lust and dark intent. You watched as his hands dragged across his stomach, sliding down farther and farther, resting above his belt. 

“Can I...”, you trailed off, preoccupied by his massive bulge, the way that it twitched in his jeans, practically punching a hole through them. 

Joel smirked, “Yeah, go ahead, baby”. His breathing was stunted, coming out in shallow pants as he anticipated you finally touching him. 

You reached out, hands dangling loosely on his hips, thumb rubbing along his zipper. You heard Joel’s breathing hitch above you, and you smirked. So, he was just as affected as you were... interesting. 

Holding in a breath, you tentatively searched his eyes a last time, he nodded slightly, his eyes never leaving you. You sank to your knees, Joel’s hand darting out to grab your arm, stabilizing you as you lowered yourself fully. 

You looked up at him through your full lashes, trapping him with your stare as you undid his jeans, slowly, with purpose. Your heart hammered in your chest, your mouth already filled with saliva as you awaited what you anticipated to be a huge cock. 

You couldn’t believe that you were on your knees, wrestling with Joel’s belt as he stood over you, towering over you, when just the other day he was helping your Dad change the oil in your car. 

Your Dad hadn’t been any the wiser to the way you had been ogling his neighbour and best friend the entire time. How you traced every bead of sweat that presented on his brow, how you watched intensely as his back muscles contracted under his plain black t-shirt every time he bent over the hood of the car, making you bite your lip as you imagined all the ways he could bend you over that hood and rail you into oblivion. 

You had focused on his dirty fingers, how meticulous and deft they were as they tinkled with the fine parts inside of your car, how filthy they were, covered in inky black smears. You felt like you were in heat, completely turned on by normal, everyday things, something as simple as a man— who again, was old enough to be your Dad, helping your actual father tune up your car. 

Pulling Joel’s zipper down, his black briefs hugged the shape of his cock, the fleecy material moulding his straining member beautifully. Your mouth watered at the sight, the size of him, the way that he smelled, even before you pulled him out of his underwear. 

You couldn’t help yourself, you needed to taste him then, immediately. Your core fluttered as you inched forward, hands wrapping around his thick, sturdy thighs, your nose burying deep into his hardened flesh, inhaling his intoxicating scent. And it was intoxicating. 

Your head was already swimming, your lips rubbing up and down his shaft, tongue licking his clothed cock. His musky soap took over your senses, the way his heavy scent settled over you, drawing you in deep, your tongue basically lapping at him now. Greedily, hungrily, shamelessly.  

Joel’s hands dropped down to your hair, tangling in it. His hold was painful, bordering on brutal. You couldn’t handle it anymore, being so close and yet not close enough. 

Your hands fumbled with the waistband of his underwear, dragging his pulsating cock out of them, feeling the weight of him in your hand. How warm and supple he was, how heavy and manly it was. 

Wrapping your hand over him, feeling flesh on flesh, skin on skin, warmth flooded your core, arousal seeping from you again. Joel sharply inhaled a breath through his teeth, wincing when you took hold of him. 

You looked up at him through lashed eyes, “What’s wrong?”. 

Joel shook his head, “Cold”. 

You snickered, rubbing your thumb over his slit, making his fists in your hair tighten significantly. In the low light, you could see a glob of something shimmering on his shaft, calling out to you. You took a closer look, realizing that it was lip gloss. Her lip gloss. 

Your gut simmered and boiled as you inspected it, collecting it on your finger and wiping it off on his jeans, practically snarling as you did. 

“She meant nothing, baby”, Joel said, his voice devolving into a groan when you slowly started stroking him. 

You hummed, not completely satisfied with his answer but deciding to let it go for now. He wasn’t yours and you had no say over what or who he did. You tugged harder, angrier, even though you knew it was irrational to get upset over this. 

“I can do it better”, you said, catching yourself off guard with your own words. Joel angled your head up, making you look at him. 

“Show me then”, he mumbled, his eyes glazing over with desire as he watched you intently. 

You sank down lower, face now level with his cock, fingers brushing against the wiry, short hair at the base. You inhaled deeply, inhaled the scent of him— sharp, masculine, heedy. 

He was all man and he was all yours for the moment; his lips parted slightly, his eyes hooded as he looked down at you, his tongue darting out to run along his parched lips, watching you like a hawk, cementing to memory the image of you on your knees for him, his best friend’s little girl hungry for his cock, ready to gag on it and swallow down every bit of his seed until she was choking on it. 

Joel’s cock pulsed under your touch, twitching with anticipation. Your lips quirked up at the edge, satisfied with his reaction to you, even though you hadn’t even started yet. 

You leaned in, planting a sweet kiss on his tip, Joel’s hand flying to your hair, steadying himself as your tongue popped out, running along the underside of his shaft, the feeling so fucking delicious that he would have burst if he hadn’t tugged you away from his cock faster than you could suck him into your mouth. 

“Stop... fucking teasing me...”, Joel breathed out, through clenched teeth, the pain in his voice making you giggle. 

“Okay”, you conceded, rolling your eyes like the fucking brat that you were. 

Joel loosed his grip on your hair significantly, and you pushed on, suckling at his tip, your tongue gliding over the head over and over again, effectively driving him insane— if his noises were any indication of that. 

You took a deep breath through your nose and took more of him, hallowing out your cheeks, covering your teeth with your lips. Spit painted his cock, the smell mixing with the overwhelming scent that was already present in the bathroom. 

You bobbed up and down on Joel’s cock, spurred on by the moans and broken grunts that were coming from him, your name and only your name spilling from his lips. 

“God, you love this cock”, Joel mumbled, loud enough for you to hear, your pussy beginning to throb again. “Don’t ya?”. 

You attempted to nod, opening your throat more for him to slide his length farther down. 

“My little cock slut, huh?”, Joel grunted, his other hand joining the one that was already tangled in your hair, grabbing your head and shoving himself deeper down your throat. 

You lost your rhythm, sputtering around him when you felt his tip hit the back of your throat. You closed your eyes, trying to breathe, but Joel wasn’t having any of it. He yanked hard, tipping your head up, your eyes glazed with tears. 

“What did I say? Eyes on me”, he growled, taking over— taking charge of the situation. You gripped his thighs, holding on for dear life, as he used your mouth to get off, not caring in the slightest that you were running out of air. 

Joel’s hips snapped violently as he pushed himself down your throat, groaning at the feel of it hugging his cock, squeezing it like he was fucking your pussy, fluttering every time you swallowed around him. 

He grunted loudly, his tempo becoming stuttered, “What would your Daddy say? Hm? What would he say if saw you right now, your mouth stuffed full of my cock, makeup running down your cheeks?”. 

You moaned around him, eliciting a pained groan from Joel, “Fuck, yeah, ‘s it... you’re doing so well for me”. 

Tears were streaming down your cheeks, your eyes stinging as you blinked them away, swallowing around Joel’s cock periodically, trying to get him to cum.

He was close, you could feel it in the way that he was tensing up, his pace unsteady and rushed, head thrown back as he let the feeling wash over him. It was a sight to behold, your arousal leaking from you as you watched him. 

A loud bang came from the other side of the bathroom door, some muffled shouting. Joel’s head snapped up at the intrusion, his thrusts becoming angrier each time he pulled out of you, only to shove back in harder. 

The banging came again but this time Joel didn’t take his eyes off of you, didn’t want to miss how you reacted when he came down your throat. 

“Want you to swallow it, darlin’. Don’t want you wasting a single drop”. 

You hummed again, a hand reaching for his balls, massaging them in time with his thrusts. A loud grunt was all the warning that you got before Joel spilled his load down your throat, his seed hot as it pooled in your mouth, the taste salty and overwhelming to your senses. 

You swallowed as much of him as you could, delighting in how he shuddered above you as he milked himself into your waiting and open mouth. He stepped back from you, tucking himself back into his jeans, running a hand through his sweat-slick curls. 

A drop of his cum ran down your chin and you didn’t waste a second before you thumbed it, sticking the finger into your mouth and sucking it clean, a lewd pop emitting in the echoing bathroom when you were finished. 

With a hand on the porcelain sink, you got to your feet, adjusting your dress and fixing your hair and makeup in the dirty mirror. You shrugged, not caring how you really looked, the club was dark enough that no one would be the wiser to what had just occurred. You hoped. 

You turned to Joel who still had that look in his eye as he stared at you. 

“What?”, you asked. 

He shook his head, “Nothin’”. Another bang on the door, Joel’s head turned to the noise, his features darkening, “I’m going to knock their fuckin’ head off if they knock one more time”. 

You walked to the door, patting Joel’s chest as you passed him, pulling it open. You stopped before you were all the way through, looking back at Joel. 

You cleared your throat, your voice coming out raspier than usual, “See you around, Mr. Miller”. 

You could have sworn that you saw a touch of a smile ghost his face, but you couldn’t be sure. You left the way you came, traversing the dark hallway and meeting up with your friend who was more than a little drunk. 

You joined the group of them, dancing and grinding for hours. Maybe your night out wasn’t as bad as you had originally thought. You unconsciously scanned the dance floor— the club for the brooding neighbour you had a quickie with in the bathroom, but he was nowhere to be found. 

You shrugged, only mildly disappointed that you were dancing with horny boys rather than the man who had made you see stars over and over again. But you smiled to yourself because you’d see him again, that was a guarantee, and maybe, just maybe he would need to help your Dad fix your car. 

taglist: @morallyinept @reddedmiller @hellishjoel @jenispunk @cavillscurls @kiwisbell @joelslegalwhre

let me know if you would like to be added to my taglist!

[the-modern-typewriter]

Can i get an immortal villain×mortal hero please please please🥺

I'll give you my croissants 🥐🥐🥐

"How would you like to die?" the villain asked. Their eyes were closed where they sat upon a park bench, head tipped back to the cool breeze and the clear blue sky.

The hero stopped, a little uncertain, but not exactly startled.

"I've tried every kind of death," the villain said. "I can make a recommendation if you prefer."

"I'm not going to die."

The villain's lips twisted - a smile, of sorts. "All mortals die. It is the linchpin of their condition."

"I won't die because of you."

The villain's smile broadened. "Drowning, perhaps. Or maybe suffocation. I don't want to disturb the ducks."

"Why those in particular?"

The villain finally deigned to open their eyes at the question, considering the hero where they stood. The hero couldn't quite read the villain's expression, but their voice remained casual. "Everyone always thinks they can survive those ones. If they just thrash, just fight, hard enough. Then they go very still and very quiet when they realise they can't. You have time to realise what's going to happen to you, see."

"Nice to see you at least put thought into your craft."

"What can I say, I'm a sweetheart. You only get one death."

"But you don't."

"You've done some research. Not enough," the villain added, tipping their head, "seeing as you're still standing there talking to me. But some. Kudos. I guess we'll see if you're brave or stupid."

"I'm not trying to kill you."

"Contain me. Incapacitate me." The villain waved a dismissive hand. "You might save your generation, perhaps, if you get lucky. Are you feeling lucky?"

"I'm not trying to do that either."

"Oh?" The villain sat up a little, finally tuning in properly to the conversation. "Are you not a hero? You dress like one."

"I'm hoping to find a more peaceful, effective solution."

The villain slumped, bored, again. "Mm. This should be good."

"Because I have done my research," the hero said, taking another step closer. "You're immortal. You only kill people when they attack you or are in the way of you wanting something."

"As I said, I'm a sweetheart and a saint."

The hero's jaw tightened. The villain had slaughtered thousands across the decades after all. They were many things, and had lived many lives, but in none of them had they ever been a sweetheart or a saint.

"And what you want most," the hero ploughed on, "other than your comfortable life, is not to be bored. There's no end, after all. So you need distraction. Diversion. Something to make time a little less of of a prison."

The villain was silent for a long moment, watching the hero. "I take it back," they said, finally. "I'm going to drive a knife through your ribs. Nice and slow. You know it's much harder to die from a stab wound than people think? Often it's the blood loss that gets ya."

"And then what?"

The villain shrugged. "Feed the ducks. Go back to my book. Make Christmas lights out of your bones. The possibilities are endless!"

"Sounds lonely."

"You think you're the first to try this, don't you?"

"I think you haven't met me before."

"Maybe I will entertain myself with you," the villain said. "Maybe I'll destroy your life and the live of everyone you talk to from now on. That could be fun. It's been a while since I've been so personal a devil."

Despite themselves, the hero swallowed. Despite their resolve, they considered walking away. Just for a moment.

The villain pushed to their feet, tossing their paperback carelessly aside.

The hero squared their shoulders. They felt their suddenly-fragile feeling heart begin to race. They let the villain stop in front of them, they tried not to let out a desperate shudder as the villain's fingers wrapped around their throat.

"Pick an option," the villain said, caressing their pulse. "Lose air. Lose blood. Or lose everything, but get a few more years before you go. If you ask really nicely, I might even make it quick. "

The hero shifted. They passed through the villain's fingers as if it were nothing, as if the villain were nothing. A ghost. Untouchable.

When the villain turned, the hero sat on the bench the villain had vacated. They made a show of picking up the villain's book, willing their once-more solid fingers not to tremble.

The villain raised an eyebrow. "Phasing. Cute."

"I don't age when I'm in ghost mode. Any injuries I have heal. If someone kills me, I stay dead, presumably. I'm mortal, as you say, but..."

"Hard to kill."

"Hardest you'll find. Or does the challenge scare you?"

"Determined little martyr, aren't you?"

"Not like you have anything to lose experimenting. You have all the time in the world."

"You realise I don't have to honour any deal now that you've revealed your hand? I could just hunt you and continue hurting other people, especially now I know how much it bothers me."

"I'll disappear."

"I have all the time in the world. I'd find you eventually."

"I guess then I'd just vanish again, if you don't want to play ball."

"You really are just the cutest, aren't you?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Maybe." The villain held out a hand for their book. "I haven't decided. Buy me lunch. See if you can keep my interest for more than five minutes."

"Lunch."

"There's a new cafe I haven't tried. Apparently they make their own croissants."

"You want to go to lunch with me?"

"No, I want to go to lunch. All this talk of bloodshed is giving me the munchies! But I'm assuming you're currently planning to haunt me, so you may as well pay. Unless you want me to just...kill anyone who tries to charge me."

"No! No."

"That's what I thought. Great minds."

The hero pushed to their feet, as the villain had, tentatively offering them their book back. They weren't entirely sure if that encounter had gone well or not.

The villain smiled, full of teeth, eyes gleaming.

"For your sake, little hero, do try not to be boring."

And, so, they went for lunch.

[igotanidea]

All figured out : Jason Todd x reader

Summary: When duties and stuff get in the way of being close so bad he forgets your b-day... Or does he?

***

As of late they barely had time for each other. It was constantly his patrols, his wounds and bleeding, her work and headaches and everything in-between.

You know what they say after all, right? About the mundane everyday stuff killing more relationships than actual fights and heartbreaks. The case when you get so accustomed to being with each other that there’s nothing more to discover and the connection becomes simply boring.

And he didn’t want it.

She neither.

But what was to do when there was always something or someone.

What was to do when they both found themselves drifting apart, too focused on the duties and obligations and that constant train of thoughts, plans and internal anxiety they tried to suppress so hard there was barely any strength for anything else.

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” She raised her head from the couch she dozed off while reading some notes for the upcoming work presentation. “Yeah? What’s wrong? How can I help?” Even in her half-hazy state with a post-it note stuck to her cheek, her first instinct was to sprung into action. And the fact that she missed his concerned face and affection beaming from his eyes did not go unnoticed.

“It’s your birthday today, baby…” Jason sighed, moving closer, crouching next to the couch to be somewhere close to her eye level and squeezing her hands.

“My birthday?” Her tone indicated that she barely recognized what day it was, let alone that the date was anything special “Really? I guess I forgot about that…”

“Y/N…”

“Hm?”

“I’m so sorry-“

“For what?” she tore the note from her cheek, finally meeting his eyes “Hey. Jason, baby. For what?”

“I forgot them too.”

“Well clearly not, if you’re the one reminding me.”

“I don’t have a gift for you.”

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

“It’s not enough.”

“It is enough for me.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “Because us talking for more than five minutes might be the first time in weeks.”

“I’m sorry-“

“Yeah, me too.” She sighed “this is not just on you Jace. You’re only half of this relationship.”

“Only?” he teased, familiar sparks showing in his eyes

“Oh, here’s that mischief I know you for.” She chuckled leaning her forehead on his in a vulnerable gesture “What happened to us Jay?”

“I don’t know. But I don’t like it.”

“You don’t say.”

“And that’s why I’m taking you out tonight.”

“Wait, what? What about the patrol? The missions? The-“ the stream of words coming out of her mouth was cut abruptly as he placed a finger on her lips. “Hey-hmph!”

“Don’t think just because I’ve barely heard your voice lately I’m just going to let you bubble, princess.”

“But-“

“Now, put on you prettiest dress and do not worry your sweet little head about anything else”

“But-“

“If you keep talking I’ll have to silence you in some other way and then we won’t leave this apartment at all. And I’ve already made plans-.”

“In the past thirty seconds?!”

“Yes. Now do you want to ruin my plans for tonight?” he pouted in a child-like manner causing her to let out an involuntary laugh before heading to the bathroom to get ready for whatever scheme he came up with.

***

“A club? Seriously?”

The look of confusion on her face as they pulled at the dancing spot was quite hurtful to him.

“I didn’t even know you could dance.”

“Ouch! Y/n!”

“What?!” she scoffed, “It’s your fault. You never showed that skill.”

“Well here’s a show for your entertainment. Go ahead and enjoy me, making a fool out of myself just to celebrate your bday.”

Jason grabbed her hand, sent a knowing look to the bouncer that just let them pass without any questions and dragged her inside.

“Wait… wait, what is going on here? You know the bouncer at the club? Jason? Jason?! The actual hell- ah!”

The lights went out, she felt his hand slipping from hers and for a second that felt like eternity she was completely alone in the dark.

“Y/N?!” his voice reached her ears though she had no idea where it was coming from and the slight panic started to creep inside. A feeling multiplied when she heard ruffling and some whispers of people who were closing in on her

“Jason?! Where are you!?” Y/N started spinning in the dark, searching for anything solid that would help her cover from whatever danger might be lurking in the dark. “ah!” Her wish became granted sooner than expected when she collided with something hard and out of sheer instinct started punching and hitting the surface.

“Hey! Hey, relax! Relax! It’s me! It’s me, princess.” Familiar touch of hands intensified on hers stopping her from fighting the person that was in fact her only salvation and protection. “It’s me, you’re safe” he pulled her closer, offering comfort and calm.

“What-what happened?” she stuttered “Why did the lights-“

“SURPRISE!”

Before she made her sentence the candles and lights garland got lit and she was greeted with friends and family members standing behind the lavishly set table with a birthday cake smiling and cheering.

“You asshole!” Y/N turned to Jason, resuming to punch and hit him, only that now she could see him and her movements were far more accurate and effective “I could have had a heart attack!”

“Stop it!” Jason laughed, pretending to be scared, grabbing her waist and spinning her in her air, before putting her down and kissing her passionately, not caring about the onlookers of their guests. “Happy birthday.” He muttered against her lips.

“You’re a jerk, you know it?” she responded in a whisper before grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him again, not giving a shit who was looking likewise.

***

“You want to sneak out of here?”

After two hours of celebration, dancing, laughing and stuffing mouths with delicious food, Jason walked to her from behind offering a getaway from everyone. His warm breath followed by a gentle kiss on that soft spot between her neck and shoulder was supposed to convince her, but she was still mad about the trap he set for her.

“Mh. Dunno. You went to such a great length to bring me here and now you want me to leave?” She teased, though her tone was not matched by the action when she tilted head to give him more access to her skin and allowed his hands to wrap around her waist.

“Mhm. Yes. Exactly. Leave with me.” Jason muttered against her skin.

“You're scared you won’t find the way back home?” she smirked and the grip on her body tightened.

“Not If my home stays here….”

“Oh no!” Y/N’s joyful laughter filled the air “Cliché! And cheesy and –“

“You done?” he frowned, not liking the way she was mocking him while he was pouring his heart out.

“Nope. Don’t think so. I can go like this for hours.”

“Y/N—” he growled in a warning she was pushing him to the limits.

“But I suppose if I can do it here, I can also do it when we’re alone-“

“Oh so now you want to be alone with me only to mock me?”

“Mhm.” She grinned. “So what do you say, big boy? Shall we take a French leave?”

“And walk out silently?” Jason grinned and she did not like it at all. “Over my dead body. Again.”

Without warning he lifted her up in the air, and with the most commotion he could cause, carried her away, followed by the cried out wishes of happy birthday and all the best.

He was such a drama queen.

***

“That was fun.” She pointed out when they got back to their little flat

“Only a beginning princess. I haven’t really given you your present yet.” Jason made sure to lock the door, stepping closer to his girlfriend and immediately pulling her closer, caressing her back and kissing her neck.

“You think you know what I want, huh?” She giggled when his lips started to tickle her skin.

“Got you figured all over baby… Know all your soft spots.”

He descended to her collarbone, bending her backwards a little to make it easier. The position forced her to place hands on his shoulders for purchase.

“Are you saying I became so boring and predictable to you?” she teased not stopping him walking her backwards to the bed

“Boring?” he gave her a look over, before sliding her dress upwards, tracing over the exposed thigh “not at all.” Her dress hit the floor, removed overhead. “Predictable? Maybe…”

“Asshole…” soft sight left her lips before getting silenced by another passionate kiss.

“You know I know what you want…”

“Prove it.” Y/N did not waste a second sliding his shirt off too. Once done, she plopped on the bed, facing the ceiling and waiting for his move “Prove you really do know what I want.”

Jason smirked and laid on the bed next to her.

He knew.

He knew better than she wanted to give him credit for.

And that was exactly the reason why at the moment his fingers were running up and down her exposed belly, but never crossing the barrier of her white, innocent panties or bra.

The reason why he did not tear his and her underwear and surrender to passion.

An argument for not going straight into sex.

So many people were confusing intimacy with sex. Simplifying it. While the real connection went far beyond body-to-body contact and carnal pleasure.

Real intimacy did not mean being bare as in shedding the clothes, but exposing oneself emotionally.

And he knew.

They’ve been growing apart for so long and the best gift he could give her was his presence next to her.

Y/N smiled rolling on her side to look into his eyes, their bodies close but never really touching as if the exchanged looks and interlaced fingers were far more valuable.

“How do you like your present?” he smiled softly, playing with her fingers, voice filled with warmth and purest form of affection.

“You really did know.”

“Told you I got you figured. And it’s not really a bad thing now, is it?”

“No. No it’s not. And hey I just figured something –“

“Hm? And what may that sudden discovery be? You missed me perhaps? Or – “ he made a dramatic pause – “don’t tell me you got feelings for me! Ugh! Y/N! Disgusting!” 

She laughed.

“Feelings? No way! And how could you dare believe I might have missed your horrible attitude and character!? Are you trying to offend me?!”

“Always.”

“Perhaps I should also thank you for keeping me in check and making sure I don’t become conceited?”

“Happy birthday” he shrugged, pulling her to his chest ruffling her hair on purpose. “And don’t think I love you or something.” The last remark was followed by the kiss on her forehead.

“Me neither, Jason. Me neither-”

It seemed like they got each other figured out after all.

And maybe it was their way of healing and coming together once again.

[osamufication]

he's a pirate

pairing: pirate captain!atsumu x fem!reader

wc: 2.8k

warnings: nsfw, porn with some plot, wax play, impact play, degradation, dom!atsumu, sub!reader, general threats of violence, a sprinkle of authority kink, reader is choked once, fluffy ending

a/n: for the love of FUCK this is not accurate or realistic wax play. please do NOT pour wax from random ass candles on any part of your body thank u

Isn’t this just perfect, you had to get caught didn’t you, you chastise yourself. 

“Unhand me at once you pathetic, filthy pirate!” you screech at the wretched man holding your arms.

“You say pirate like it's a bad thing.” 

You stop thrashing, directing your attention up to the quarter deck. There stands a tall young man with tufts of blonde hair sticking out from under his preposterous hat. He looks down at you and an amused smirk tugs at his lips. “We’re not all that bad.”

The man holding you shoves you down to the floor. You barely keep yourself from falling face first onto the deck.

You glare up at him, flipping your hair out of your face, “I’ll kill you.” you spit.

The man laughs. “We both know you’re not capable of killin’ me, love.” He walks up to the railing, leaning against it. “I’m much too handsome.”

“Give me a break.” you huff. 

“We caught ‘er tryin’ to steal some of our supplies, capn’.”

“Oh? You’ve got some nerve sweetheart,” he chuckles darkly. The blonde makes his way around the railing and down the steps. You watch him carefully, trying to guess what he is playing at. 

He stands before you, and unsheaths his sword. His expression is unreadable as he fits the tip of the blade beneath your chin, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. You clench your jaw, trying to keep yourself from saying something idiotic. 

“Do you know how I punish thieves, poppet?” His voice is sickeningly condescending. 

You keep your mouth shut, refusing to give this moron the satisfaction of following along. By now, a small crowd of crew members had formed, all of them enjoying the free entertainment. 

The captain rolls his eyes, looking around at the rest of his crew, “How should we punish her, eh boys?”

A mess of responses comes from the men. 

“Throw ’er overboard!”

“Strip ‘er and tie ‘er to the mast!”

 “Slit ‘er throat!”

You’re sure the fear is visible in your eyes. The captain looks quite amused by the whole ordeal. 

“True, I usually just throw thieves overboard. But,” he leans down, his face a few mere inches away from yours. “I think I should handle yer punishment a little more... personally.” He turns to face his crew again, “I’ll handle this myself, get back to work ya morons.” 

The crew disperses, groaning in disappointment. They were hoping for a much more entertaining conclusion. But you know this isn’t over for you. 

He finally withdraws his blade and pulls you up to your feet, “Follow me love. Let’s discuss yer punishment in private.” he whispers into your ear. 

As soon as the door of the captain’s quarter’s clicked shut he broke the silence. 

“y/n.” 

“Miya.” you growl. “I meant it when I said I’d kill you.”

“Tch, don’t be like that poppet-”

“Don't call me that.”

“Right. Forgot ya hated that name.” Atsumu sighs, “Love, I know I was a dick. I don’t expect ya to just let me back in, but please give me a chance.”

You sit down in a chair. “And why would I do that, Miya?”

He leans over you, hand on either arm of the chair, trapping you. “Ya know ya miss me. Us.” 

You scrunch up your nose. “That’s awfully arrogant of you.”

He leans in further, nose bumping against yours. “C’mon love. At least stay the night, for old time’s sake.”

You don’t know what possesses you at that moment. This is the man that had left you behind, without so much as a proper warning. He told you in passing he wanted to leave one night and never return. The next day you had woken up to a cold bed and a missing ship. 

You had every intention of chopping off his dick and shoving down his throat if you ever saw him again. But here you are, kissing him as though you still needed him with every fiber of your being.

He grazes your lips with his teeth, hands wandering your body freely.

“Fuck, I missed ya so much love.” Atsumu’s leg slips between your and bumps against your sensitive core. You whimper against his lips, hating how easily you slip into a submissive state for him. 

Atsumu pulls away and boasts a dangerous smirk on his lips. “I’m supposed to be punishing ya darlin’, the men won’t believe I kept my word unless they hear some screamin’.”

He grips the front of your blouse, pulls you out of the chair and shoves you onto his bed. He climbs on top of you, easily tearing the fabric between his fingers. His eyes roll back when he’s greeted with the familiar sight of your bare breasts, barely biting back a groan as he eagerly gropes them. You wrap your legs around his waist, grinding up against his hardening cock. Atsumu kisses you sloppily, teeth roughly clashing against yours. You reach up to throw off his stupid hat and thread your fingers through his hair.

“This is,” you gasp as Atsumu drags his thumb around your nipple, “quite the punishment, Miya.”

In an instant, Atsumu ceases all movement. “You’ve forgotten who yer dealin’ with, princess.” 

He unhooks your legs from around his waist and gets off the bed. You start to sit up, but Atsumu quickly shoves you back down, his massive hand wrapped almost entirely around your throat. “Did I tell you to fuckin’ move?” 

“N-no,” you choke out.

He raises an eyebrow. “Ya seem to have forgotten your manners as well, what a damn shame.”

Before you can react, he releases your neck and slaps you across the face. The sound of the impact echoes throughout the room and rings in your ears.

Atsumu grips your face tightly and forces you to face him. “Let’s try again shall we?” He leans in, his lips ghosting over your own, so close that you can feel his hot breath mingling with yours. 

“Did I give you permission to move?”

You swallow, trying to speak without trembling, “No, s-sir.”

There’s a satisfied glint in his eyes as he releases you. You make sure to stay perfectly still. Without a word of acknowledgement he walks over to his desk, shrugs off his coat, and removes the pistols you were mortified to realize you hadn’t detected. 

From your spot on the bed you get a perfect view of the wonders his pants do for his ass. You're so distracted you don’t notice Atsumu lighting a candle before walking back over to the bedside. 

“Clothes off.”

Once you’ve stripped bare, Atsumu lays you on your back and spreads your legs. Your cunt is already glistening from the heated kissing and grinding.

“You’re positively drenched, darlin’.” 

He reaches over to grab the red candle from the table. He holds it over your stomach, before grinning again. “You’re not allowed to move, but screaming is highly encouraged.”

With that he tilts the candle, letting a drop of wax plop onto your stomach. You hiss and squirm, the heat almost unbearable for a moment. You’re ashamed to admit the sharp pain goes straight to your twitching pussy. Another drop falls a bit higher up your torso. It takes all your willpower to keep still. 

To only make matters worse, as Atsumu drips the candle wax onto your breasts he uses his free hand to start teasing your clit. You mewl as he rubs up and down your slit, inserting a finger as wax lands on your hardened nipples. His fingers graze against that tender spot inside, you arch your back, grinding on his hand. 

“F-fuck, right there!” you choke out. Your eyes are screwed shut, but you feel the drips of wax traveling further down your body. 

“Yer movin’ again,” Atsumu leans forward, the candle flame licking the skin of your side, “Are ya this desperate for me? All that time on your own really did make ya a whore, hmm?”

You shake your head, “No, I didn-”

Before you can finish, Atsumu quickly removes his hand and slaps it against your cunt, hard. You can’t suppress the screech ripped from your throat. 

He sits back between your thighs and sets the candle on the floor by the bed. He nods to your legs, “Grab ‘em and hold ‘em to yer chest. Now.”

You do as he says, feeling your face get hot again. Atsumu’s view must be entirely obscene. If someone were to walk in now, there would be no saving your dignity. 

Atsumu’s eyes are dark and hungry, he hits your cunt again with more force than before. A loud and wet slap echoes in the room along with your shriek. You heave, trying to catch your breath.

He lowers his face between your legs and licks a stripe up, leaving a kiss on your clit. “Such a filthy little whore. Yer really enjoying this aren’t ya?”

You nod your head rapidly, “Y-yes sir, I am.”

“So ya haven’t learned yer lesson about stealin’ from me?”

Oh shit. That’s right.

“I, uh...”

Fuck, you can’t think straight with his tongue grazing against your soaked hole.

“No? Well I’ll have to really punish ya then.”

He holds the candle directly over your pussy, eyes gleaming. 

“W-wait-” You’re interrupted by your own scream as the first drop of wax hits your clit with a plop! 

“That’s what I like to hear, darlin’.” Atsumu’s face boasts a sadistic grin as he continues his assault on your cunt. 

You keep screaming with each drop, the stinging only making you wetter than you already were. Your fingernails leave bright red crescents on your thighs as you grip them to your chest, using all your strength to stay still. There’s wax all over your swollen cunt and you’re sure it must look like an absolute mess. 

“I think yer ready now.” Atsumu mumbles, undoing his pants and taking out his cock. He readjusts himself and teases your dripping pussy with his impossibly hard length. You whimper every time he slips just the head of his cock in. 

“Fuckin’ hell, doll yer still so tight.” He groans, finally pushing all the way in.

Your vision is blurry from all the overwhelming sensations. Atsumu pulls out almost completely before ramming his hips back against yours. Your mouth drops open as he sets the brutal pace you were so familiar with from all those years ago. You whimper and whine with every wet slap of his cock drilling into you. 

Without slowing his pace, Atsumu picks the candle back up. He grins down at you, tipping it over again and lands a particularly large glob of wax on your clit. Your scream is guttural, the feeling of Atsumu hitting your g-spot while the burning wax stimulates your swollen clit entirely overwhelming.

You start to feel a familiar tension in your stomach. Your cunt clenches around Atsumu’s cock, making him throw his head back, eyes screwed shut. He takes a ragged breath before looking you in the eyes and presses his thumb harshly against the wax on your clit.

“F-fuck! Sir, I’m cumming!” You scream, legs shake so violently you lose your grip on them. Before they can hit the bed Atsumu blows out the candle and throws it to the ground. He uses his free arm to hold them back up against you. 

“That’s it darlin’, just like that, keep cumming for me.” Atsumu presses himself harder against you as his thrusts get sloppier. He groans loudly as he cums inside you, his grip on your legs loosening. 

He lets out a ragged breath as his movements come to a stop and he helps you lower your sore legs to the bed.

He leans over you, his strong arms on either side of your head. He kisses you the way he did earlier, as loving as ever. He pulls away from your lips and presses his forehead to yours. You both stay there in comfortable silence for a moment. 

Once you’ve caught your breath, you whisper, “I think we should clean up.”

Atsumu sighs, but reluctantly moves off of you. Dry wax on your body uncomfortably cracks with the movement.

You scrunch up your nose, how the hell are you going to get this off of you?

“Well then? How was that?” Atsumu asks.

 “I suppose,” you turn your head to the captain, “that was satisfactory.” 

Atsumu snorts, “Just satisfactory huh? I’ll go harder next time then, princess.”

You shiver, knowing full well he will keep his word. You also don’t fail to notice his choice of words.

Next time.

You watch as Atsumu stands up and starts pulling his pants back on. The thin sheen of sweat covering his back makes him almost glow in the sunlight shining through the window. He pulls his cotton tunic over his head and turns back to you, a soft look in his eyes. “Let’s get ya cleaned up shall we?”

He opens a cabinet to pull out a cloth and bottle. He places them on the bedside table before situating himself beside you. He douses the cloth with a thick liquid. 

“What is that?” you ask, watching as he starts rubbing it into your skin and over the wax. 

“Olive oil, it’ll get the wax right off of yer skin. I don’t wanna hurt ya or let ya rip the pieces off.” Atsumu dutifully works at your skin, slowly but surely getting all the wax off, and leaving you very oily instead. 

“Miya?”

“I think we’re a bit past the formalities dontcha think?”

You smile sadly, “Atsumu, why are you here? You said you weren’t coming back.”

Atsumu sighs, “I know what I said. And I meant it when I said it, but I was an idiot.”

“Not surprised.”

“Watch it.” Atsumu pinches your leg playfully. “I didn’t realize that what I was looking for wasn’t on the other side of the world.” 

He puts down the rag and walks over to his coat. You sit up against the headboard as he rumages for something in its pockets. He pulls out a little brown box with gold detailing around its borders. He circles the bed, taking a seat beside you. He meets your eyes, “Can’t believe I needed this thing to realize what I really wanted.” 

You frown as he opens the box, expecting to see a giant diamond or aztec gold. 

“A broken compass.” You say, unimpressed.

Atsumu groans, “I’m trying to be dramatic here and yer ruining my moment.” He takes a deep breath, “Yes, it's a compass. But it’s not broken, it points toward whatever it is you most desire.” 

The needle spins back and forth for a split moment before picking a direction. You twist your head back to look behind you, “You want the rum on the table?”

“For fuck’s sake y/n and ya say I’m dense.” He runs a hand down his face. “It’s pointing at you.”

You freeze for a moment. He can’t possibly mean that. 

“Atsumu I swear to god if you're messing with me...” your voice trails off.

Atsumu puts the compass down and takes hold of your hands, “I swear on my life, yer everything I want in this world. I’m fully prepared to sell the ship and stay with ya on dry land if that’s what ya want.”

You blink back tears, “There’s no need to be so dramatic.” You move over so he can take a seat beside you. “I don’t want you to give up sailing. I never did. All I wanted was for you to take me with you, to be with you.”

Atsumu shakes his head, “I was so fuckin’ stupid.”

You smile and curl up next to him, “Not as stupid as I am giving you a second chance. Don’t make me regret this.”

Atsumu drapes his arm around you, planting a kiss on your head, “I’ll make you a pirate queen, darlin’. Just you wait.”

You giggle, “So where are we headed, captain?”

Atsumu grabs the compass again. With his arm secured around you, the needle starts spinning again. It settles in the general direction of the island. 

You raise a brow at him, challenging him to explain why the needle was pointing toward the village.

Atsumu grins like an idiot and reaches over you to snatch the bottle of rum. He rips out the cork with his teeth and spits it out to the floor. He takes a swig before holding it up to your lips, carefully pouring some into your mouth. 

Taking the compass back into his hands it finally settles, pointing out to the open ocean.

You smile, “Looks like we have a heading. Any idea where it may be taking us?”

Atsumu is quiet for a moment, before turning back to you. In his eyes is a glimmer of adventure. Those are the eyes of a troublemaker you fell in love with oh so long ago. 

“Ever heard of the fountain of youth?”

[certifiedwhore4slashers]

final girl | coriolanus snow

pairing: ghostface!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

summary: you've become a target, the final girl of a killer's movie.

warnings: dark content, possessive!coryo, dark!coryo, obsession/obsessive behavior, suggestive themes(if you squint), stalking, murder, blood and gore, coryo being delusional, threats of violence, violence, sort of modern!au, no use of y/n, naive!reader, r is too kind.

It was october, not only that but there was a killer on the loose. You were by yourself, much to your parent’s annoyance. You told them,”I’m 18 Mom. I technically could be on my own. Please, let me be on my own. I’ll be fine. I’ve got friends who can help me. And 911 on the phone.”

Your mother sighed. "The capitol’s safe enough. Fine. But if anything happens-” “Protocol, I know, I know all the rules, You replied. You did. Normally, your parents weren't like this. But there was a killer. A fucking killer. Of course they'd be worried for their only child.

You were also the heir to wealthy parents and known in the capitol. Your parents were. If there would be a target, you might be on that list. Either way, you were going to be as safe as you could be.

. You place yourself on the couch. The staff, which included the maids, were on their day-offs today, which was unfortunate for you. Tonight, would be different, though, you had no idea.

Clemensia, your best friend, texted you.

Home alone?

You replied almost right away.

Yeah. It took convincing, though. My parents are kind of protective.

You knew she was sighing and rolling her eyes at your comment. Clemensia was logical, so were you. The both of you were, but sometimes you could be reckless. Her, too, but not tonight apparently.

For good reason. I mean, there's a killer out there.

You wanted to just watch a movie, something that was a form of entertainment in the Capitol, obviously. You decide a horror movie was too gruesome for a time like this, and were planning to watch a rom-com. A surprise, considering you loved horror movies.

Yeah. I feel too... scared to watch a scary movie. That's how bad this is getting.

That was the truth, you were utterly terrified. Terrified to even watch scary movies, as if it'd become true. You check your phone. Updates in the group chat continue.

Your friend, Coriolanus, was discussing the killer. But also said that everyone should be careful. It was a known fact he liked you, but you were oblivious.

You were always so naïve.

They say he calls his victims before he kills them. I hope that's not true. I mean, what if he gets one of us?

The latest kills were students at the school, Gaius Breen and Androcles Anderson. This was tragic, and they didn't deserve it. They really didn't. And it made you wonder, why?

Why?

Clemensia was texting you and then calls. “Hey Clemmie, You say. “Hey! She replied. She sounded a little better but still, she was probably terrified just like you. "You okay, Clemmie, why did you call? You ask her, naturally. "Clemmie" was a nickname given in your childhood. You had a friend group that all had your own nicknames, including you. "I don't know, I don't think I'd like to be by myself, She admitted.

"That's fair, You agreed."I don't think... Hold on. I'm getting another call. Can I be right back on that?" "Mhm, it's not your fault, Clemensia said.

You end that call, and while the number was not one you'd recognize, sometimes you don't put in numbers on accident, or change the name. It happens. "Hello? You say, kindly. No matter who called, you tried to be as polite as you could be. 

"Hello."

Already, you know this is a stranger. For one thing, the voice isn't one yo recognize, secondly, the number wasn't in your contacts. So it wasn't one you accidentally kept the number on. Unless this was a prank. 

"Sorry I have to ask, who is this?"

"Who is this?"

"I already asked that. What number are you trying to reach?"

"I don't know, what number is this?"

You chuckle. "You called me, shouldn't you know?"

"I guess not."

In your mind, you conclude that this must be a wrong number. It wasn't his fault, so you weren't going to be annoyed by it. They seemed to be confused. "Wrong number, it's not your fault, it happens." You hang it up, and it was eerily similar to the beginning of Scream. You brushed it off, and planned to call Clemensia back, when the number called again.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry. I guess I dialed the wrong number."  

"Oh, then why did you call again?"

"To apologize."

"Well, I forgive you, so-"

"Wait, can we talk?"

You sigh. "I'd love to. But i've got a phone call to do, bye, buddy." You hang up again. You innocently think of this as some joke. So, entertaining the prankster wouldn't be too bad for you. 

However, you needed to call Clemensia back, ASAP. As you were about to tap her name to call, the prankster called again. However, you weren't going to be mad or annoyed, you were that good of a person.

Maybe naïve for your own good, but kind nonetheless. 

"Hello?"

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" 

"Oh, hi, um... I just don't know you at all. Sorry."

"You seem very sweet and understanding."

"I try to be. You never know. What's your name?"

"You tell me your name, and I'll tell you mine."

You place a piece of popcorn in my mouth, my soda beside me by the movie." As much as it'd be nice to make another friend, you'd have to earn that." A while ago, you texted your boyfriend to come over. Where was he? Your parents were gone. This was your chance to finally get intimate tonight. Still, no response. You texted him a couple of times. You frown. Is he cheating on me? You thought.

"What are you eating?"

"Popcorn, You immediately reply. "I'm watching a movie."

"What movie?"

"A rom-com, I can't bring myself to watch a horror movie."

"Rom-coms are cheesy, I think horror movies are incredible."

"Ah, a horror nerd, You joke. "Well, I normally think so, too. But, it's just... whatever."

"What's your favorite scary movie?"

You smile. "I guess I'd say, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's interesting."

"A good choice. It's brutal."

You check your phone a couple of times, still on the call, your boyfriend messaged once. He was on his way, and apologized for not being there. You accepted it, he was a good boyfriend, and was normally on time or responded, he was perfect. So, you forgave him immediately. 

"So, you've got a boyfriend?"

His voice was flirty, and suggestive, even. But you weren't flattered or anything. You loved your boyfriend. "Mhm, You say."So, I'm not interested. We're happy together."

"Ah, lovebirds. How cute."

His voice was sarcastic. However, you still tried to remain kind. You didn't say anything as a response though. 

"You never said your name."

"Why do you want my name?"

"Because I want to know who I'm looking at."

You freeze. "What did you say?"

"I want to know who I'm talking to.""

You shake your head."No. That's not what I heard." Panicked, you text your boyfriend and Clemensia. Someone was watching you."I'm hanging up."

"Why would you do that, Doll?"

"I... I just have to go."

"Don't hang up."

You text your boyfriend once more, hoping he'd come quick. Instead, however, you got a disturbing response.

Don't hang up on me. It won't end well for you.

You lock every door in your house, this creep wouldn't come in your house. But you also weren't ignoring his calls anymore certainly. He calls again, and you pick up. "What do you want?"

"Just to talk, doll."

"No, clearly not. Otherwise-"

"You've caught me. I want to play a game. Like I played with your boyfriend."

"What did you do with him?"

"Go check for yourself."

You whimper, stepping towards the back of your large home. You had a feeling it'd be in your backyard, the answer you were looking for. When you turn on the lights, You scream. Your phone drops, but thankfully doesn't break. Your boyfriend, was hung and gutted in your tree, bloody and all. You began to sob, shakily picking your phone up. "Please, why did you kill him?"

"You belong to me, doll. You're mine. I won't let anyone take you from me."

In that moment, a figure with a ghostly mask bursts in, grabbing you from behind, hands on your waist as you begin to fight, what was he going to do? Take you? You kick, your elbow kicking his rips, and a groan came out from him. You run. You held your phone, call ended. You take this chance and call 911. 

Ghostface gets up, and mid call, is fast and you dropped your phone. You yelp, trying everything in your power.You’re thrown onto the floor and now he’s on top of you, knife in hand was clean but probably washed off the blood after murdering your boyfriend.

what was he going to do with you?

He must be contemplating what he was planning to do. Your legs were stuck, so you couldn’t kick him. He tilts his head. His knife trails down your body, suggestively but also mocking you, it's between your breasts, and then you grab his wrist, trying to pry him off of you. But he's stronger. He says,"Be a good girl and I won't hurt you." He must mean death, so you nod, still crying. The police would come. 

You must've hit the floor hard, because your vision was foggy, and you were close to passing out. If this was death, you were ready. But you had no injuries. You clearly were just going unconscious. You use your free arm to take his mask off.

Your eyes widen."Coryo?" You barely see the grin on his face before you black out.

[thrashkink-coven]

Special reminder to all the new Luciferians that forgot that he is the adversary, yeah, he’s gonna fuck with you FOR FUN.

If you’ve been working with Lucifer for a week or so and have started getting “conflicting” messages, you are not alone 😩. Lucifer loves to test us, he loves to see how deep our values go. He will purposely say things you disagree with or it would seem like he would disagree with just to fuck with you. This dude LOVES to debate.

For example, a large part of my relationship with Lucifer involved coming to terms with my neurodivergency. For weeks we were working on accepting my limits, being aware of my disorders and having patience for myself. But during a meditation I got the very strong message from him “People with mental illnesses are just looking for an excuse to be lazy”

and I was like ????? what the fuck???? No they’re not??? You fucking idiot???? Who am I talking to right now???? And he was like “yes and anyone who claims to have a disorder without a diagnosis are just looking for attention. Prove me wrong if you think differently”

and I blew up, providing so many arguments for why he’s wrong and why that stance is so stupid, and eventually after a while he was like “Hm… that’s interesting. I guess you’re right. Now that we’ve established this I guess we won’t need entertain the idea anymore”

and any time after that, when I was having self doubts, maybe I’m just faking it for attention, maybe I’m just lazy, Lucifer has been like “OH! So I guess I WAS right!” and I’ve been like NOOO!!!!!! YOURE WRONG!!! THE ENTIRE IDEA IS STUPID AND I WONT LET YOU TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

and Lucifer will then be like “Oh, good then. Don’t let you tell you otherwise either”.

He will press your boundaries, even if only to make sure YOU know where your boundaries are. When writing a spell together Lucifer has been like “yes, we will also need to sacrifice a cat”

and I’ve been like “wtf no we’re not sacrificing a cat why the hell would I do that”

and he’s responded “Because I said so. You will obey my order without question.” (again, extremely out of character, this is a test’!)

until I finally put my foot down and say “I don’t care who or what you are, doing this goes against my core values and I will not abandon those for you or anyone. With all due respect I refuse to do this task”

and Lucifer will be like “I’m just fucking with you, I really liked the way you stood your ground against me though, that was very hot”

and for even less obvious things, Lucifer will test you. He wants to know why you think the things you think. We recently had a very long conversation about the concept of Pedophilia. Super uncomfortable, a conversation I didn’t know we’d ever have, but it was important. He starts by asking me if pedophilia is wrong. Um what??? Obviously???

“Why is it wrong? Explain your reasoning.”

Well because it hurts kids.

“What about non offending pedophiles? What about pre offending reformed pedophiles?”

You don’t have to have the answer to those questions, but you must understand that the answers to those questions matter, even though they are incredibly uncomfortable. Are there evil people? Do evil people deserve empathy? What is an evil person? I don’t like thinking about that, that’s the reason why I don’t have an answer. Lucifer will force you to come to that answer.

“How do we conduct a society where we prevent pedophiles from hurting children without creating another form of discrimination? Do you believe pedophiles deserve empathy? Do they deserve to die? How do we deal with murderers and rapists without becoming murderers and rapists ourselves? How do you console yourself with the reality that some people genuinely enjoy evil things? If you were the Emperor of Hell, how would you manage all the most wicked people who have ever lived? Why is incest bad? Why is murder bad? Do racists deserve to die? Do war criminals deserve to die? Who should be allowed to determine who deserves to die? How far does your empathy extend to people who have done horrible things? How does your moral compass navigate these complex scenarios? What is right and what is wrong? Why do you believe the things you believe?”

There will be times when it seems like he’s trying to do everything in his power to just disagree with you. It’ll seem like he’s leading you to argue with him, and that’s exactly what he’s doing. He’ll ask you questions that should seem like common sense. He’s establishing that not only is it okay to disagree with him, but that at times, he will force you to, to ensure that you are not deriving your own personal values from “whatever God tells you”. He will lie to you, just to see if you’re able to identity a lie. He will say things that he obviously doesn’t believe, only to hear why YOU don’t believe it. It’s important to be firm on your boundaries even if your God is pushing them. You should not be afraid to disagree. You should not be afraid to disobey if it is important to you. Lucifer is not a Shepard and you are not a sheep. You need to understand your own morality alone, without God, without a cheat sheet telling you the answers. and you need to be firm on those. To the point that if God Himself told you differently, you wouldn’t budge.

So if you’ve started working with him recently and are confused as to why he suddenly started saying things you disagree with, investigate what he may be trying to get across. You’ll learn a lot more about yourself.

[katerinaaqu]

Epic the Musical:

Circe: Oh my! He cannot be transformed by my powers! What do I do?! What do I do?! Think think I need to protect my nymphs! Oh I know! He's a man after all! I'll seduce the hell out of him to get my power over him back! He clearly can defeat my entourage of wolves and lions all by himself! I mean he's damn immune to my magic! I am sure he can do anything with his sword!

Circe: *aggressive flirting*

Odysseus: Oh my gods oh my gods she is hot...what the hell?! Oh I am just a man! Forgive me... No! Wait! J can't! I love My wife way too much! Please let us go home! I miss my wife!

Circe: Awww that is so sweet! Of course darling. I was always a sucker for a good soap opera. Of course I'll help you free of charge and here's some useful tips for your trip! Drive home safely!

The Odyssey:

Circe: Oh my! This man actually had the AUDACITY to come in my home and threaten me! And he took all precautions (a God helped him no doubt). Finally a man I can consider worthy of standing by my side and not bad looking either!

Circe: Come on, darling. Remove your clothes and let's get down on it! Let's see what you've got!

Odysseus: (oh my! Forgive me Penelope that is the only way to save my men! Hermes told me not to refuse her a thing! She is a freaking goddess that commands all these wild beasts! Power over me or not she's a force to be reconed with!) F-Fine but I cannot do what you ask before I ensure my men are safe. Please release them first and then I will (gods gotta buy myself time! Ain't prepared!)

Circe: *does that*

Odysseus: *sighs* I guess we're doing this...

*A year later*

Odysseus: Okay men you had your fun but I can't keep entertaining her forever! We must go home!

Odysseus: Please Circe let me and my people go! We have to go back

Circe: Oh but can't you stay a bit more?

Odysseus: No...I miss my wife and son

Circe: Fine, my dear, if that's what you want... Your happiness is more important than my satisfaction and I love you so I shall let you go. You paid your price fully. Here are some useful tips for you, some provisions and good luck...

[w2soneshots]

20vs1 -W2S

words: 1.3k

warnings: none.

summary: you are asked to be on the sidemen’s 20vs1.

Liked by sidemen and 901,452 others

y/username: guess what I'm filming today🤫

-comments-

y/nfanpage21: ooo I'm excited to find out❤️

user30781614: SIDEMEN LIKED OMFG🤭

-> user91368481: y/n x sidemen ahh!!!

A month ago... "Rach!" I shouted through my apartment. "Ye?" my roommate Rachel shouted before appearing in my doorway. "Do you know who the sidemen are?" I asked her. "Yes, they're massive on YouTube, why?" She replied plonking herself next to me on the bed. "They just asked me to be in one of their videos." She shot upright "what! Did you say yes?" She asked excitedly. "Umm, I haven't replied yet, are they weirdo's?" I asked since she knew of them. She laughed aloud "no I don't think so." she said with a giggle. "It says they want me to film a "twenty versus one", what's that?" I said flipping my phone around to show her the email. "That's a series, they do, let me just show you." she grabbed the control and flipped on my tv.

That night I went through a rabbit hole, researching these people. I wanted to make sure they weren't creeps before agreeing to be in a their video. They had a pretty massive following and there videos were entertaining. I eventually decided it'd be fun so agreed to be in the video. When I told Rach she was ridiculously excited.

Today is the day of the shoot. All I'd been given was a location and a time, so I got up early to get ready. I took a shower, dried and straightened my hair, did my makeup (adding extra powder so I wouldn't shine in the studio lights) then got dressed into a black, tight play suit, an oversized denim jacket and some black four inch heeled boots. Once I was finished I sprayed myself with my favourite perfume, grabbed my bag and left my apartment.

After a 30 minute drive my uber finally pulled up outside the filming location which just looked like a large building. I thanked him and slid out of the car. Just as I was walking towards the front entrance I was greeted by a woman who said her name was Tanya and that she was the head of production. "She seems nice" I thought as she led me inside. She brought me to a green room with multiple other women, and a table with drinks and food. I sat down on one of the chairs. "wait, are you y/n y/l/n?!" One of the girls asked me. I nodded "yep, that's me." I replied with a light smile. "Omg I love your vlogs!" She announced excitedly. "Thank you!" I said appreciatively.

Almost 20 minutes later all twenty of us were taken through into a small hallway, and formed into a queue. I was sixth and when it was my turn I walked out and stood on the marked spot on the white floor. "Hi, how are you?" I asked who I learned from my stalking was Harry. "Not great to be honest." he replied, clearly not enjoying this shoot. I laughed slightly "just breathe." I said breathing deeply in and out. He copied my actions and did the same. He smiled "yes." he said, flicking his hand towards the door then I heard a cheer from another room. "Thank you." I said politely and walked off the set.

Ten minutes later everyone was sent back into the room and we all stood in an oval shape facing the camera. Then Harry walked in and greeted us "hello everyone, I said yes to way too many people so if you don't like me please- leave." he chuckled then turned around to face the camera. Five people left leaving nine of us. Harry opened his eyes and turned back around "I'll take that, I'll take that, I'll take that, I'll take that," he repeated quickly "thank you very much. alright, I'll see you shortly, I guess." Then he left and all of us were taken back to the green room.

I sat there for well over two hours waiting, since I was the last one. Once it was finally my turn, I was taken back to the studio, by Tanya. "You'll do great!" she said with a light pat on my back just before I entered the room. I was reattached to a mic and then told to sit down on the comfy looking chair. Harry entered a few minutes later and I stood up to greet him with a hug. "Hello again, sorry you've been waiting so long." he said politely, before sitting down. I smiled "no problem." He took a breath in "so what's your name?" "y/n." I replied. "And what do you do?" He asked. "For fuck sake I hate this question" I thought. "I do YouTube." I replied. His eyes lit up slightly "oh, what kind of videos do you make?" He asked, sitting forward in his chair. "Vlogs, beauty stuff, outfits, that kind of thing." I said counting them on my fingers. "Oh cool." he said with a nod of his head.

The date lasted just under 15 minutes. From the video Rach showed me it seemed that these weren't just normal dates but it felt completely normal to me... actually in the other video there was one date where the man was just told to be himself, so maybe that was what was happening. We talked about what both of our favourite movies were, we found out we both lived in London and when I asked if he was into football he explained that that was what his YouTube channel was based off, along with an online game to do with football.

Once the date finished, we hugged goodbye and he left. Then I was asked two questions by the main camera man: what I thought about him and if I would go on another date. "I thought he was a really sweet and seemed interested in our convo. I will definitely go on another date with him." and as I said those words, I heard in eruption of cheers in another room, which Tanya had now explained was the other members of the sidemen watching the dates. I laughed slightly then stood up. I quickly had my mic taken off, then went to collect my things from the green room. As I was grabbing my things Tanya popped back into the room to ask me something, "the boys were just wondering if you could come and see them so they could thank you for coming." she asked. I smiled "of course."

She took me through a corridor, and then down a smaller hallway and into a room. There was a group of boys stood up in front of around six TVs that I assumed they had been watching the dates on. "Hey, nice to meet you, thanks for coming!" who I knew to be JJ said putting his hand out for a handshake. I shook his hand and said "thank you for having me." They all introduced themselves to me and we stood talking for a few minutes. Just before I left I heard my name "y/n!" I turned around to see Harry stood in front of me "I was just wondering... if it was okay with you, I could get your number?" he asked. I smiled "sure." He passed me his phone I typed my phone number in. "there." I said, passing his phone back to him. "thank you." he said with a sheepish smile. I waved the other boys goodbye before I left the building.

The next day, I got a text from Harry asking if he could take me out on a "second" date, and obviously I said yes.

[ot7stan4life]

It’s Not Wrong

Dreamcatcher (OT7) x Female Reader

(1 part - ongoing ⚠️)

Word Count: 8,980

Summary: As the 8th member of Dreamcatcher, you struggle with your growing attraction towards your members, because, in your mind, loving seven different people isn’t natural and couldn’t possibly be considered acceptable by any normal human being… so why would they be okay with it?

“It- it’s wrong.”

“You love us, how is there anything wrong with that?”

Warnings: angst, brief mentions of homophobia, mild sexual content

The audience's excited screams echoed around the arena as we all waved our goodbyes, fading only when the lift lowered us beneath the stage, yet never leaving my mind completely. Even when our managers herded us into two separate black vans that would be taking us to a nearby hotel, the adrenaline pumping through my veins and the dull roar of what sounded like waves rushing in my ears from a night of being stimulated by loud music were permanent reminders of the performance we had just put on.

Kcon LA. It was a big deal for a group of our scale. And, after singing in front of a crowd of that size (one bigger than we had ever seen before), I could tell the members were feeling as elated as I was. If the way Bora pulled me down the hall when we arrived at the hotel and shoved me into our shared room with Minji and Siyeon following closely behind was anything to go off of, I'd guess I was about to experience what being on the receiving end of the dancer's excited energy entailed. I didn't know whether to be excited myself or utterly terrified.

Luckily I was able to convince them to let me have the first shower—which they only agreed upon under the promise that I would stay up to entertain them (not sure what that meant exactly, but I was honestly too afraid to ask)—and immediately took the first chance I got to slip into the bathroom before any chaos ensued. Just fifteen minutes later, my sore muscles had been soothed by the warm water and I was drying off, finally allowing myself to wind down for the night. My conflicting feelings for the members had really been getting to me lately, but I was thankful our busy schedule helped keep my mind off of it.

Though, I had a feeling those emotions would become unavoidable sooner rather than later when I realized I forgot to grab a change of clothes from my suitcase. Even more unfortunately, the only towels in the bathroom were borderline too small to cover all of my... assets.

Fantastic.

Wrapping the towel around me as best as I could, I crossed my fingers hoping the members occupying the hotel room had left to get some food or weren't paying attention before I opened the door. Though, my luck ran short not even two steps out of the bathroom when Siyeon began cat-calling me.

"Yah, sexy," she shouted. I froze, looking over at her timidly. "Come over here. Don't be shy." The singer was clearly joking around, but that didn't stop me from blushing at her words.

"What?" Bora laughed at Siyeon's weird behavior. Seconds later, her curious head popped out from behind the wall where she had been sitting to see what the older woman was looking at. I wanted to strangle Siyeon the moment Bora's eyes widened at the sight of me. "Ooooh," she exclaimed, her eyes shamelessly raking over the bare skin my towel failed to cover while a smirk creeped onto her lips.

Attempting to ignore them, I walked further into the room in search of my suitcase. That only made things worse when Minji was finally able to see me and they all started making shocked and impressed noises. "Ooh, so sexy," Minji doted. My cheeks burned being the center of attention and feeling incredibly exposed.

"Omo, jagi," Bora started, "did you come to give us a show?"

My heart skipped a beat.

"Yah!" I shouted in surprise, stopping to look back at her. Actually seeing all of their eyes on me, confirming that they really had been staring this whole time, made my knees go weak. "I forgot to grab a change of clothes, alright?" My voice came out angry, but they caught the hint of a smile on my lips before I could hide it.

Bora started giggling. "Look at how embarrassed she is." Her finger pointed up at me as if they weren't all already looking.

Siyeon laughed, but Minji scolded, "Yah, leave her alone." I nearly fell for how caring the leader sounded, but then I noticed her eyes lingering for a second too long on my bare thighs. She was just as bad as them.

"Oh c'mon, you like it too, unnie," Siyeon said, "don't kill the fun."

"Yeah, the best part's just starting," Bora scooted to the edge of the bed. "I haven't even gotten to touch her yet." My eyes blew wide and I only had a split second to guard myself before the small woman launched from the bed and ran over to start groping me.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled. With one hand holding up my towel, I only had one left to try and block her attacks. This allowed the main dancer to get a few quick squeezes of my thighs and one of my ass over the towel before I ran to the other side of the room, out of her reach. "Stop it," I squealed as she chased after me.

Bora was all giggles while I was full on panicking—for several reasons. Before I could seek safety in the bathroom, the small woman stopped me halfway with a shove. Minji was yelling at us to not get hurt and Siyeon was just laughing as they watched the whole thing pan out. The atmosphere changed quickly though when Bora pinned me against the wall. Even with her being a head shorter than me, I still felt trapped. My pulse throbbed in my ears as I breathed heavily from both the running and the way Bora's small hands had felt against my bare skin.

Miraculously, I had managed to keep the towel on with one hand while the other held cautiously onto Bora as she stood on her tippy toes so that we were nearly face-to-face. Her hands were not as innocent, one at the base of my neck, teasingly traveling downwards while the other lay flat against my stomach, pushing my back into the wall. We were so close that her nose nearly brushed mine when she looked down, not-so-subtly admiring the curve of my breasts revealed by the towel. Her other hand traveled lower, getting a feel for the skin on the back of my thigh.

"You're not even going to give me a little peek?" She whispered just for us to hear, her fingertips dragging closer to what she really wanted to feel. I found my mind fixated on that word: me. It was no longer an us. She didn't care about playing it up for the others. No, it was just her who wanted it now.

Her eyes flicked up to mine, showing me the want deep within them as her fingers gripped the curve if my butt. "Unnie," I gasped, feeling at a loss for words. She had done this stuff plenty of times. The teasing, the flirting, even the ass-grabbing. She was Kim Bora after all. It was to be expected. What was not expected though was the hint of desperation I caught from her in that moment. If she happened to be feeling any fraction of what I had felt for her in the past two years, I knew she was searching for any sort of confirmation or reciprocation of her own feelings from me. And this felt like a confession.

I found myself involuntarily glancing down at her lips. So many countless nights I had spent imagining what they might feel like against mine, overwhelmed by an excited thrill wondering if she'd be just as aggressive in intimate moments as she was normally or if she'd break character, acting more calm and submissive. All these possibilities made my stomach burn and I knew I should stop before my arousal became evident on my thighs, but it was so hard to when she was looking at me like that.

The fact that her and I were not alone was a rude awakening the moment Minji appeared next to us, pulling Bora away just before either of us could lean in and do something we might regret later. Had I not known any better, I might've considered Minji's stern gaze and cocked jaw a sign of jealousy as she berated the younger member for touching me in such a way. But I did know better, brushing it off as merely her protectiveness required as our leader. With no shortage of fussing, the dancer eventually let in, giving me one final once-over before allowing me to grab my clothes and retreat to the bathroom.

When I was successfully clothed, I returned to the room to find the unnie line carrying on as if nothing had ever happened. It had me debating if it was all a dream, but the sting of Bora's firm grip on my sensitive skin still lingered, evidence enough of the encounter. After something like that, they normally wouldn't shut up about it, finding joy in teasing me for days on end. The unusual silence seemed strange. Still, it meant less embarrassment for me, so I gladly ignored it, settling down on the bed Bora was currently on the edge of.

About half an hour of casual conversation had passed between the four of us without anything eventful occurring. It wasn't until Bora started getting loopy from her increasing tiredness that things began to ramp up once more. I made the mistake of joking about her loud voice surely sending everyone in the audience home with hearing problems, resulting in her initiating a wrestling match between us on the bed. She griped at me for being such a 'brat,' grabbing and violently shaking any body part of mine that she could get ahold of.

I couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably at the sensation of her tiny hands pinching at my skin and how easy she was to offend, and now I was beginning to understand why Yoohyeon found it so fun to toy with her. Well, that is... until Bora landed on top of me, straddling my hips with a suddenly very different goal in mind. The abrupt change in mood had my body stilling completely under her. When I dared to meet her stare, I caught a glint of mischief in it that surely couldn't be leading anywhere good.

Like before, her hands pressed down on my stomach to keep my back flat against the bed. Tilting her head to the side, she looked down at me, raising her eyebrows up once before lowering them again. "Your move," she smirked, already conducting another one of her games that would surely end in chaos.

Looking to my left, I noticed Minji and Siyeon watching us with cautious eyes. There was this sort of rush it gave me, just like the concert, that dared me to continue. They had so often tested the boundaries of our relationships, so why couldn't I do the same? Knowing that it would surprise them made it seem that much more tempting. Now that I wasn't exposed and had been handed back the control, I wanted to give them a show.

So, without even considering the repercussions of my actions, I grabbed Bora's hips and pushed her over. She squealed in shock when I ended up on top of her, my body resting between her legs. "Your move." A satisfied smile formed on my lips when I heard the other two members let out mumbles of surprise. Bora didn't allow me to bask in my victory much longer, always insistent on one-uping me. She liked when I got like this more than she'd ever care to admit and was eager to take it a step further.

Her arms previously resting on my shoulders slithered up to my neck and with one firm tug, I was leaning over her, so close that I could feel her breath on my lips. Now I knew I was in over my head. Her beautiful features and her fingers intertwined around the back of my neck locking me into place made it difficult to breathe. Every spark, every chill, every heart flutter that she had ever made me feel resurfaced all at once and seared itself permanently into my chest. There was never any denying that I was attracted to her—I mean, look at her. Who wouldn't be?—but now, as I lost myself in the inescapable pull of her soft, brown eyes, there was absolutely no denying that I was in love with her.

"Your move," she whispered the softest whisper I had ever heard leave her mouth, never once looking away. Her eyes seemed to be communicating in ways that her words couldn't and the expectant, even hopeful look in them had me convinced this is exactly what she wanted.

So, I gave it to her.

The moment my lips met hers, time seemed to stand still. I felt her inhale, forcing her to press further up into me as her fingers tightened at the nape of my neck. My mind went completely blank finally feeling how silky and warm her lips were against mine. They were impossibly softer and her kiss gentler than I could've ever imagined. And I certainly wasn't counting on the fact that she wouldn't want to pull away, holding me there a few precious seconds longer than what I assumed normal.

After what felt like hours, she loosened her grip on my neck, letting me release her lips slowly. The loss of pressure elicited the sound of a light smack, sending an unexpected sensation of pleasure through my body. Her eyes fluttered open to meet mine, appearing dazed and intoxicated by the kiss. Within those few seconds, she granted me a look at the real Bora: the one beyond all the playful, unserious facades she put up. The one that was really as soft and vulnerable and desperate for love as the rest of us were. And knowing that she trusted me enough to give me a glimpse into her heart had me bearing my own for her to take claim of.

However, doubt was quick to take hold of my thoughts when Bora's eyes widened, concealing her initial reaction with an over-dramatic expression of shock. As she laughed incredulously before glancing to her left, I became all too aware of my surroundings. "Jinjja," she yelled, a smile of disbelief painting her lips. I followed her eyes, spotting Minji and Siyeon both mirroring her surprise, mouths drawn open and eyes blown wide.

The weight of my actions came crashing down, suffocating me with unavoidable feelings of regret and embarrassment. How did I really expect this to turn out anyways? Desperate to find an escape from their stares, I hid my face in Bora's neck, clutching her sides as if I could disappear into her.

"Can you believe her?" Bora played it up, pretending like she didn't kiss me back with just as much—if not more—conviction.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled ashamedly, but her neck muffled my voice. God, why didn't I think this through? Reluctantly pushing myself up, I looked down at her shyly. "I'm sorry," I repeated.

Bora paused, her smile faltering as she took in my humiliated expression. I almost thought she was going to reassure me, until a look of uncertainty crossed her own eyes. "Yah," she covered it up, her smile only growing, "look at how red her face is." She raised her hand to point a finger at me like she had done before and laughed. Though she didn't have much room to talk, a pink blush tinting her own cheeks.

"Unnie," I whined, rolling off of her to lay on my back and hide my face in my hands. When would this night ever end?

Following a few more jokes, Bora eventually stopped pestering me about it for the moment. Still, I couldn't ignore the knot that settled in my stomach with the uneasiness lingering in the air between us. Their reaction had been both expected and unexpected. Obviously I knew they'd be shocked, but the three oldest members struck me as the type that would encourage this sort of behavior. In the past I even caught myself wondering if any of them had shared a kiss in the privacy of the dorms out of genuine physical attraction or just pure curiosity. In my mind, it seemed more than probable given the fact that pursuing romantic relationships outside of the group wasn't exactly allowed as well as the inkling I had about at least a couple of the members having a preference for women. Yet, now with all of them appearing avoidant and standoffish after the kiss, I wasn't so sure.

Did I read them all wrong? Did I completely fabricate the concept of them being accepting of that sort of thing because of their touchy and flirtatious tendencies? Most of all though, did I entirely misjudge Bora's reactions to the entire thing?

After all this, I was beginning to think I didn't know anything at all.

—

It was just a few days after we'd traveled back to Korea and I couldn't seem to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, my mind replayed the kiss with Bora over and over again, encouraging me to over-analyze every single little detail. The prospect that I had crossed a major line was stressing me out, to say the least. Strangely, the whole thing also made me feel sad. That part confused me the most. Maybe I wanted her to tell me it was okay. Or maybe I wanted her to even admit that she liked it. But really, what could I expect her to say with the other two members watching? I wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that she wanted it, but even then, how could I be sure that it meant anything real to her? That it wasn't just playful?

Deciding that overthinking was doing me no good, I left my room and went into the kitchen. It was dark and quiet, the other members having gone to bed a couple hours ago. The dim lights on the bottom of the cabinets illuminated the area enough for me to find the handle of the fridge. When I opened it, bright, blue, artificial light came pouring out, forcing my eyes to squint as they adjusted. I wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but I needed something to satiate my mind. A bottle of water would surely suffice.

As I reached out for one, I felt a whoosh of air and the sensation of hands sliding across my hips from behind. My entire body went rigid as my mind instantly assumed the worst. Even though I had slowly grown used to the abundance of physical affection my members gave me, the timing and scenario had me in a momentary panic.

Before I was able to do anything drastic, arms snaked all the way around my waist and I felt a warm, feminine figure press against my back. "It's just me," the familiar voice of our group's main vocalist said softly near my ear as she rested her chin on my shoulder. I let out a breath of relief, resting my hands on top of hers that had found their way beneath the hem of my t-shirt. Though, it was less calming and more nerve-wracking given my growing attraction to the older woman.

Having her this close allowed more opportunities for embarrassment, or, in her case, teasing. Though, the feeling of her lips pressing gently to my cheek elicited less of a flustered feeling and more of a depressed one. The memory of Bora's response to my kiss suspended permanently in the forefront of my mind, preventing me the luxury of indulging in the idea that little touches like these were glimpses into a deeper truth.

I should've known all along that I'd never be able to have what I truly wanted—never be able to fulfill my heart's deepest desire—but that reality hurt too much now that it had finally revealed itself. Obviously I knew I couldn't have all of them. Giving your heart to two different people with the promise of sharing it equally was arguably unrealistic, so offering it up to seven with that same promise was absolutely absurd. Still, I tried to hold out hope for as long as possible. And the way they all seemed to reinforce their feelings for me on a daily basis only made that hope grow at an alarming rate. How was I supposed to stop my wishful thinking when every thing they did confirmed that it could be a possibility?

"Couldn't sleep?" Siyeon asked, grounding me.

I sighed, feeling exhausted by my emotions, and finally allowed myself to lean back into her welcoming embrace, ignoring the way my heart fluttered at her warmth. "Yeah."

Siyeon unraveled one of her arms from around me to close the fridge door. Missing my opportunity to grab a water didn't bother me as much as it might've had I not gotten a little nauseous from the sickening pain my thoughts brought on. Even though she seemed to be enjoying this quiet moment between us, Siyeon slowly spun me around in her arms. I didn't meet her eyes, anticipating the questioning that would surely follow my admission.

"Jagi," her fingers reached up to brush a hair out of my eyes. "What's wrong?" she said in such a way that had me believing for a split second that she might know what I was going through, but the thought fleeted almost instantly. There's no way she could've.

"Nothing," I replied simply, though even I knew it didn't sound convincing. Clearly it wasn't nothing, but I had already made up my mind that talking to her about it (or any of them, for that matter) would do no good. It's not like she could fix everything and magically make the members fall for me like I'd fallen for them.

Her hand rested on my cheek and she spoke carefully, "I can tell it's not nothing." The tone of her voice compelled me to finally glance up at her.

The look in her eyes was all-too-familiar to me. She worried for her members, sometimes too much, because she cared for us so deeply. And this look told me she knew something was wrong and wouldn't be leaving until it was made right again. It truly was one of the things I loved most about her—her undying protectiveness for her loved ones—but now I was growing to dread it. Fear it, even. Because she had me dangling off the edge of admitting it all to her right there, one slip away from slinging my arms over her shoulders and letting her hold me as I shed every last tear I had stored inside of me.

"It's nothing serious, really." I looked down with a forced smile, hoping she'd just let it go. Though, deep down, there was this desperate cry inside of me, begging for her to continue prodding until I had no other option but to spill everything. All I needed was that one final shove off the cliff to get these unbearable secrets off my chest.

"Y/NN," she said sadly, rubbing her thumb across my cheek. "Is this about the kiss?" Her question made my heart grow ten times heavier in my chest and my eyes darted up to meet hers in surprise. How did she know?

"What, no! Of course not," I rushed out, feeling much too exposed for my own liking. If anything, I was preparing to explain the entire situation to her myself—if I did end up caving. I never could've expected her to know precisely what was bothering me. It made me feel ridiculous. Did I really make it that obvious? But Siyeon wasn't looking at me in a degrading or amused way. In fact, the look in her eyes was so frighteningly sympathetic and understanding that I was almost totally convinced she might even be struggling with the same sort of dilemma. At the thought that I wasn't alone in my suffering, my nose started burning, warning of oncoming tears threatening to fall and expose everything I've tried so tirelessly to conceal. Did she really understand?

"Oh, jagi," Siyeon frowned when she noticed my eyes turn glassy and my bottom lip quiver. The reality that the kiss I was crying over probably meant nothing to anyone else but me made me feel pathetic, yet Siyeon never once seemed to judge me. "Come here," she said, giving me no possible option to refuse her offer of consolation. I obeyed anyways as she gently guided me over to the couch, losing all strength to refuse once the onset of my breakdown approached.

The back of my thighs barely touched the cushions before the older member was pulling me into her chest. That was enough to crack through the dam stifling my endless pool of tears, and now there was nothing to keep them from flowing freely. "It's okay," Siyeon cooed softly, rubbing my back in soothing circles as I cried into her shirt. "I know. It's okay," she reassured and repeated the same phrase over again for the next few minutes, allowing me plenty of time to get everything out.

When the tears began to subside, sobs dwelling to quiet sniffles, Siyeon turned to grab something. I sat up and watched as she pulled a tissue from a box on the coffee table. Without saying anything, she turned to hold my chin and started wiping the tears off my cheeks. As I watched her face, the noticeable shiny glint in her eyes and the way her jaw clenched while she took in my (probably pitiful) appearance hinted that she was likely fighting back tears of her own. Guilt twisted in my gut knowing that I was being selfish burdening her with my pain and not even considering the hurt it might have caused her to see me in such a state.

"I'm sorry," I croaked out, grabbing her wrist.

Siyeon halted her actions, eyes flicking up to mine. "Don't apologize." Her voice was firm, but not angry. "Especially for this."

I shook my head. Why did she have to be so selfless? "You should be sleeping right now, not having to deal with this," I motioned to myself.

She put the tissue down and grabbed my hands, pulling me closer to her. "If you really think I could sleep peacefully right now knowing how you feel, then you must not know me that well." A gentle smile pulled at her lips and her voice softened, "I'd do this every night in a heartbeat if that's what you needed." The sincerity in her words had me on the brink of tears once more. There was no doubt in my mind that she meant every word she said.

I pouted. "Quit it," I mumbled, letting go of her hand to shove her shoulder. "You're gonna make me cry again." My words had her laughing. Feeling a bit more relieved after shedding some of the tears I had bottled up, I was able to laugh with her.

As our laughter died down, Siyeon leaned into me, showing off her beautiful smile. I admired it, feeling a swell of pride in my heart knowing I was the cause of it. It was honestly kind of unbelievable. Here I was, interrupting her sleep and ruining her shirt, yet I was also somehow the one making her laugh and bringing her joy. How could I be so lucky to find myself on the receiving end of such unconditional love? And how could I possibly consider myself deserving after feeling like such a burden?

Siyeon's forehead met mine, drawing me from my thoughts. As if the contact allowed her to hear my thoughts, she caressed my cheek and washed my worries away with three simple words. "I love you." It came out as a whisper, almost like she was telling me a secret. That stubborn spark of hope that I had tried so hard to stomp out the past few days ignited while we shared a moment staring into each other's eyes. The absolute last thing I needed right now was another intimate moment that I'd spend hours on end reading too much into—considering how that ended up with the whole Bora thing—but I could already feel my heart clutching onto those words and savoring the loving look in her eyes as if they were the blood that kept it pumping.

A breath unevenly slipped past my lips when Siyeon finally pulled away, giving me space. I relaxed back into the couch, straightening myself out and staring down at my hands in my lap to avoid her gaze. She shifted, angling her body and propping her head up with her elbow on the back of the couch to look at me.

"So," she trailed off, "do you want to talk about it?" Her voice was delicate, like she was afraid she'd speak too loud or say the wrong thing that would send me into another breakdown or scare me off entirely.

I hummed in indecision while I distracted myself, playing with the two adjustable strings dangling from the waistband of my sweatpants. The longer I debated it, the more I started to doubt how Siyeon would actually react. What if she just assumed I liked Bora? Or what if she doesn't think it's that at all? How would she really feel if I told her I was in love with seven different people? Any normal person would think I was insane.

Her right hand cut my thoughts short, laying on top of both of mine to stop my fidgeting. "What if I start?" she offered when I made eye contact with her.

I couldn't be sure what she possibly had to say, but, in my mind, it seemed like a better option than going first. So I agreed. "Okay," I swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling the nerves creeping back in. Now I was regretting not grabbing that bottle of water.

Siyeon released her head from her left hand and sat up straight, using both hands to grab one of mine and started softly pinching the back of it. I just hoped she didn't notice how cold my fingertips had gotten or the goosebumps that riddled my skin. "I think I have an idea of what you're going through, and I don't ever want you to feel like you have to hide this from us."

The words hit me all at once and the racing thoughts that followed were overwhelming. I was so busy trying to figure out what she thought she knew, I couldn't even appreciate how sweet her words were. She seemed to hit the nail on the head, but what she said could've applied to almost anything. There was still no way she could've known I was in love with all of them, let alone one of them.

I found myself struggling to respond. "But, this is..." my eyebrows furrowed as I focused my attention on the couch under us, face flushing at the idea of giving away too much. "This is different."

"I know," she responded immediately, as if she expected that exact reply out of me, drawing my eyes up to her. "I see the way you look at us," her voice was cautious but it didn't stop my pulse from racing, "and how you react when we touch you." Oh god, I was so obvious.

I couldn't help but feel embarrassed and panicked all at the same time. "Unnie-"

"It's okay," she cut me off, placing her hand on my waistband. "You don't have to be shy," she whispered, scooting closer. The proximity had me burning up. I had to turn my head away from her in order to focus my thoughts.

Alarm bells were ringing in my mind, alerting me that my secret had been found out. But which one? She couldn't know the whole truth, could she? No. She had to be talking about my attraction to women. "It's-" I hesitated. Was I really ready to tell her? "It's not just that." An unsteady breath left my mouth.

"Jagi, I know. We know," she emphasized. "Maybe the younger members haven't made it as obvious, but surely you've seen the way we look at you, too."

...there's no way. I must've misheard...

"I thought our flirting made it pretty obvious," Siyeon said lowly, slipping her hand under my shirt to rub her fingers against my stomach, but I was unable to react to any of it.

"You flirt with everyone," I mumbled subconsciously, my brain slowly breaking down in its spastic attempt to process everything hitting me at once. She knew.

Her warm laugh filled the room, momentarily startling me out of my mental breakdown, "okay, fair point." Right about now, I was ready to wake up in bed and realize this entire thing was a dream. It even felt like one when I started to get lightheaded. Siyeon leaned in even closer, fingers dipping dangerously below my waistband, inches away from turning this moment into something exponentially more intimate. "But it's different with you," she whispered, making the skin under her hand burn as a fire began to flare up between my legs.

My mind wouldn't give in, refusing to let me accept this as reality and bask in it like I'd wanted to for so long. It all felt wrong. She shouldn't even know, let alone be okay with it, let alone confirm my delusions??? This wasn't right. Where was the lack of acceptance, the judgement, the disgust? No normal person reacted this way. She couldn't actually mean it.

I tilted my head up, searching her eyes frantically for any sign of dishonesty. "How are you so okay with this?" I asked in disbelief. "It's unnatural. Y-you should be freaked out by it!" I stuttered as I felt the emotion choking me up again.

"It's not unnatural at all," Siyeon said, voice laced with sadness once she started to realize how I felt. "And why would I be freaked out by it?" How could you not be? How is it not unnatural?

How could you be so accepting of something that I've hated myself for feeling for the last two years?

"It- it's wrong, Siyeon," I whispered, a single tear sliding down my cheek.

In the blink of an eye, she was grabbing my chin and wiping the sadness away. "You love us," she emphasized softly, staring into my eyes, "how is there anything wrong with that?"

Those words made my heart clench painfully in my chest. They were ones that I needed to hear all along, ones that I should've been telling myself this whole time, but they were also ones that my mind still rejected, over and over again. I looked down. "But what would someone think if they found out?"

"No one has to know except for us. And it wouldn't matter anyways." Siyeon shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment as if looking for the right words to say. When she opened them again, I saw a universe of stars in them as specs of light bounced off their now teary exterior and I felt an equally limitless amount of love radiating from them. "All that matters is that you're happy. That we're happy. And I won’t let anything get in the way of that."

I stayed silent, really, truly allowing myself to soak in her words. She was right. Even my mind couldn't argue with that one. The ultimate goal was to be happy. To make them happy. Why would I possibly refuse when that happiness was right at the tip of my fingers?

Choking back my tears, I tried to keep my hopes low and remain realistic. "How do you even know it's really what the other members want?" I whispered weakly, no longer caring if I sounded insecure. All my cards were out on the table now, there was no point in trying to hide from her any longer.

"Honestly, I don't for sure. That's something you'll have to figure out on your own." She frowned sympathetically. Regret was already starting to sneak in and the idea of being rejected or having to choose between any of them had my heart aching. "But, you know, Bora hasn't stopped talking about you since that night," Siyeon's lips turned up in amusement.

"What?" I blurted out.

"She's been acting like it didn't affect her, but I know it did. She just won't admit it out loud." Everything that came out of her mouth was sounding less and less believable by the second. Had Bora really been thinking about the kiss as much as I had? "And Minji," Siyeon let out a short chuckle, "Minji is so clearly jealous. It's funny how they try to act indifferent. It's pointless, really. They're so painfully obvious." Minji... was actually jealous?

For the sake of my rapidly and unrightfully inflating ego, I hoped Siyeon wasn't making all of this up. Although, the thought of Bora and Minji fighting over me had me feeling overwhelmingly hot and I was beginning to think this was gonna be way more than I could actually handle. I never prepared for this, because it so surely seemed like a massively far-fetched fantasy... yet here it was, very quickly becoming a reality.

Even faster than I realized when I dared to ask, "And you?"

"Me?" Siyeon smiled, leaning in again. I kept eye contact, heart beating unusually fast as her finger traced my jawline. "Honestly, I'm a little disappointed you gave Bora your first kiss." Her low tone of voice left me feeling dizzy. I couldn't even say anything, frozen like a deer in headlights. Taking advantage of my stillness, she scooted even closer, making it hard to breathe. "Mm," she hummed, her lips ghosting over mine, "you really do get nervous around me, don't you?" She smirked and I subconsciously squeezed my thighs together, clenching my jaw in an attempt to distract my mind from the way she was making me feel.

My silence was enough confirmation for her, giving her the last final push to lean in. All the oxygen was sucked out of my lungs at the sensation of her lips meeting mine. I had been waiting for this moment for so long and somehow I still wasn't prepared for it to actually happened. With Bora, it was short-lived and I had been the one to initiate it. But with Siyeon, her own control and choices were variables that I could've never even considered. And the concept that she started this and that she was kissing me out of her own want made this feel so much better than I ever thought it could. The way she kissed me slowly, savoring every single second, and cherishing the taste and feeling of my lips against hers.

I could tell she was feeling the same when I backed away for a second to catch my breath and she was quick to chase my lips. I held onto her shirt as her hands clutched the sides of my face possessively, her thumbs resting on my jawline. I could feel her staggered breathing against my skin—telling me her heart was racing—while her lips captured mine over and over again in a mind-numbing rhythm. Now I was beginning to think her description of Minji more accurately suited herself. It seemed like Siyeon was jealous of Bora and couldn't wait until she finally got her turn to claim me as her own.

Eventually though, air became a problem, causing her to release my lips. I grabbed her hands that were holding my face while we both fought to catch our breath. She looked down at me, instantly smiling when she saw how affected I was. I felt shy under her gaze and released her hands to plunge into her embrace. She held me tightly as I clutched the back of her shirt, laying my head on her shoulder. A small laugh escaped her mouth, "you're cute."

I whined into her shoulder, "I'm not cute."

"Oh, really?" She teased, the hint of a smile still evident in her voice.

I lifted my head to look at her, hoping it was dark enough so that she couldn't see the blush on my face. "Yeah really," I reciprocated her smile, staring her down and probably failing miserably at looking intimidating.

I watched as she dropped her hands to my waist and moved to rest mine around her neck. "Then prove it," she whispered, cocking her eyebrow in the most attractive way possible.

My stomach bubbled with nervous-excitement once I realized where this was probably leading. Trying to fight a smile, I bit my lip as my eyes darted down to her mouth. From my actions, her tongue swiped out over her own lips to wet them. Before she ever even gave me a chance to act, she was pushing me down onto the couch and taking her place on top of me. Her hand reached out to grab my chin and her thumb moved my bottom lip from my teeth.

"Don't do that," she said lowly in a way that made the pit of my stomach burn. "Unless you want me to do this." One of her hands made its way to the inside of my thigh and she squeezed down, making me gasp in surprise. She seized her opportunity to lean in and slip her tongue past my parted lips. The sensation of it swiping boldly across my own tongue had me clutching her neck for support, feeling myself growing slick just inches above where her hand was placed. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything in return. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do anyways.

She could probably feel my hesitance because she finished with a kiss and pulled back to look at me. I immediately felt the need to explain my tenseness, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to-"

"It's okay," she let out a small laugh and smiled at me. I avoided her eyes, a bit ashamed by my inexperience since she clearly seemed to know what she was doing. "Hey," she whispered gently, releasing my thigh and using her hand to turn my head to face her, "there's no reason to be embarrassed." Her eyes looked so caring in that moment and I wondered how someone could be so perfect.

I smiled, feeling more shy by the second. "I know, I've just never done this before and you clearly have, so I felt the need to-"

She cut off my rambling, "Hey, hey. I know, it's okay," she laughed, finding my nervousness endearing. Her hand started combing through my hair while she waited for me to relax again. "I have to admit, I'm regretting dating that girl in high school right now because the idea of experiencing all of your firsts with you sounds really fucking romantic," she let out a laugh again, and I couldn't stop the massive grin on my face. Now I was convinced she was actually perfect... or a mind-reader, because she knew exactly what to say to make me fall even harder for her. Before she could continue, I pulled her down to steal a kiss. That seemed like a better way to express how I felt about what she said anyways. Plus, it made her laugh happily and steal another kiss back.

Once she was satisfied, she released my lips to finish what she wanted to say. "But now I'm starting to think the idea of me teaching you is way hotter," she said seriously. I laughed lightly, grateful she could so easily make my nerves go away.

"You want to be my teacher?" I teased, raising my hand to brush my thumb against her thick, bottom lip. She leaned into my touch, her lips parting and her nose grazing mine as she struggled to restrain herself. My throat went dry when an intimidating look flashed across her eyes. It was way more satisfying than I expected seeing her have such a visceral reaction to me. Now I was beginning to understand exactly why they enjoyed teasing me so much. If I knew Siyeon was really this affected by every little thing I did to her, I would've been doing it for years.

"Yes," she breathed out against my lips with such desperation that I couldn't help but smirk. "You have no idea how much I want you."

With no time to even process what she just said, her lips crashed back into mine. Now I knew I was reaping the rewards for my teasing when her kisses were no longer slow and gentle. My hands threaded through her hair while she made out with me, and her own found their way under my shirt. With the stimulating feeling of her fingers traveling teasingly up my abs, I made the mistake of parting my lips once more, granting Siyeon's tongue access to my mouth. Still not knowing what to do, I instinctively pushed her away.

"Unnie-" I mumbled.

"It's okay, baby," she said, breathless, "just relax and follow my lead, okay?"

She kissed me again before letting me reply, "Okay." And then she was back at it, swiping her tongue across my bottom lip, silently asking me for permission. So I let her have it and gripped her neck tightly at the way her warm, slick tongue was making all the blood in my body rush to my core.

She kept going, her tongue exploring a different part of my mouth every time it entered before retreating out to be replaced by her lips. After just a couple times, I felt more comfortable, and allowed my tongue to meet hers. Siyeon rewarded me with a hum of pleasure and handed off the control. She let me experiment, practicing exactly what she did to me on her. I quickly learned that the addicting sensation of my tongue inside of her mouth gave me a sickeningly intense feeling of power and had me turned on to such a degree that it was borderline embarrassing. After that, getting to be the one in charge evolved from really terrifying to way too enjoyable. Something about someone as experienced as Siyeon letting me do whatever I wanted to her was so undeniably hot.

When I finally seemed to get the hang of it, we both pulled back, panting heavily. Though, Siyeon wasn't quite finished yet, trading my lips for my jawline. She slowly planted kisses from the edge of my chin all the way to my ear and I could feel her sporadic breaths bouncing off my skin the entire way. It was like she wasn't satisfied unless her lips were on me. She couldn't get enough of me and it had me wondering if she had imagined this moment a million times before just like I had.

"You're being such a good girl for me," she praised suddenly, sending a shockwave of pleasure through my body.

"Fuck, Siyeon," I whimpered quietly out of instinct, though I knew there was no way she wasn't going to hear it with my mouth just a few inches away from her ear.

"Mm, you like when I call you that, baby?" Her voice came out husky as she gripped my thigh, biting down on my earlobe.

I inhaled sharply, instinctively arching my back off the couch, pressing our chests together. "Oh my god," I breathed out, dripping with arousal.

Siyeon groaned quietly at my reaction. "You sound so fucking sexy, babygirl," she mumbled against my skin.

"This can't be real," I said, making Siyeon chuckle lowly as she started kissing down my neck. "I have to be dreaming right now."

She finally stopped what she was doing and leaned back over my face, "Are you saying you often dream of me doing things like this to you?" The smirk on her face made my stomach twist.

"Unnie, please," I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to calm my heartbeat. If I ever wanted it to resume it's normal rhythm, there's no way I could look at Siyeon's face ever again after hearing those words leave her lips.

She laughed lightly, "you're overwhelmed."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious," I replied uneasily, only making Siyeon let out a few more quiet laughs before running her fingers through my hair again and kissing my cheek, probably hoping it might help calm me down. "How are you not?" I tried to open my eyes but the second I saw her unrealistically attractive features, I had to close them again. "God, this is way too fucking much for any normal human being to handle."

"I think this is the most I've heard you curse in your entire life," she laughed. I just pulled her down into me, wrapping my legs around her waist. She adjusted her head to answer my question. "And I am overwhelmed, my reaction is just less in the form of almost passing out and more in the form of wanting to kiss you." That finally made me laugh and I turned my head to rest it on hers.

It was quiet for a moment while we stayed locked in each other's embrace and I was sure she could feel my heart pounding like a sledgehammer against my rib cage. Her hands now at the small of my back felt like fire against my skin and I remembered back to what she said a few seconds ago.

"Yes," I answered out of the blue.

She tilted her head back to look at me, "what?"

I finally opened my eyes and scooted to the side so that I could turn my head to look at her face-to-face. The image of her in that moment almost made me turn away. Somehow her slightly messy hair and flushed face made her look a million times sexier than I ever thought possible. It definitely didn't help when I remembered everything she had previously whispered in my ear. I took a deep breath, focusing on my fingers resting against her jawline rather than her eyes so I wouldn't forget how to speak. "You asked if that meant I often dream of you doing things like this to me... and the answer is yes," I explained, the nerves now more evident in my voice.

Without even looking at her entire face, the pull of a smile on her cheek reassured me that I hadn't admitted too much. "Good to know I'm not the only one," she mumbled, pulling my gaze to her eyes. She didn't appear to be lying, maybe a bit timid, but definitely not untruthful. Her eyes stayed on mine as we both started to realize how real this was. It was a relief finally knowing I wasn't completely crazy for feeling the way that I did and that she felt the same. Although, the thought of her picturing me in certain situations suddenly hit me and I felt incredibly shy again, reaching out to grab the collar of her shirt so I could pull her into me.

"What?" She giggled as I hid my face in her neck.

"You're going to be the death of me, Lee Siyeon," I groaned.

"Man, and you haven't even made it to the other six yet," she said seriously.

"Jesus Christ," I spoke in English, eliciting the loudest laugh from Siyeon yet.

The concept of having to go through all of this again with six other members was driving me insane. In that moment, I nearly concluded that it'd be better for my sanity if I just stuck with Siyeon (even though that alone was still detrimental to my sanity).

"Come here," she grabbed my neck loosely and gently pushed me back. "You know, you never said it back to me," she pouted. It took me a minute to understand what she meant, but I eventually remembered.

I looked deep into her eyes, finally letting all of the feelings soak in. And, after tonight, there was no doubt in my mind that my next statement was true, "I love you."

Siyeon beamed, looking over at me like I was the most precious thing in the world to her, and pulled me in for another kiss. This one was unlike the others. It was delicate and sweet and I knew it meant so much more than just a kiss. It conveyed everything she was feeling for me in ways that words couldn't. So I cherished it as if it were my last.

The sentimental moment didn't last long though, a less shocked and more disappointed voice breaking through the silence, "I should've known this is what you were up to." We drew apart, both looking up in surprise, unable to conceal our obvious guilt, finding Minji standing a few feet away with her hands on her hips. Even with the lack of lighting in the room, I could make out the expression of disapproval on the leader's face, like a mother who just caught her teenage daughter in bed with a boy. Realizing her eyes were on Siyeon, I felt somewhat relieved that I wasn't the victim of her scolding... until her gaze shifted to me and hardened in a way that sent chills up my spine.

She really was jealous and I had a good feeling I was just seconds away from reaping the consequences of making out with someone who wasn't her.

—

A/N: I might post more parts to this with the other members eventually if I ever find the time to write for it.

**This oneshot was transferred over from my Wattpad account OT5Stan4Life**

[doeeyeseddie]

pia!!! for the writing prompts: 22 cancelling their schedule just to spend time with them, if that sparks anything! <3

hi nina!!! it took a while but then it sparked something indeed, thanks for sending the prompt <3

hearts will hold

3.1k, [read on ao3]

“Hey,” Eddie says when Buck opens the door, casual, like Buck should’ve expected him. Which he did not. 

“Uh, h-hey,” he says. “Didn’t you say you had plans today?”

“Canceled them,” Eddie says easily, pushing past Buck into his loft. “I’d rather be here anyway.”

“Eddie, I–“ Buck closes the door and turns to watch Eddie rummage through his fridge, emerging with two bottles of beer. “What do you mean, you canceled them? Didn’t you have a date?”

Eddie shrugs, opening the balcony door one handed while holding the beers in the other. Buck has no choice but to follow him out there, still confused. 

This morning after work, he asked Eddie if he was busy this afternoon, and Eddie said he was gonna see Marisol. It’s not unusual lately, that Eddie can’t hang out with Buck because he’s got plans with his girlfriend. Which is normal and to be expected, but also fucking sucks because, well – Buck has horrible timing and realized some things too late.

“You can’t cancel on your girlfriend for me,” he says guiltily, but takes the beer Eddie offers him anyway.

“Of course I can, you’re my best friend. It just felt like I’d brushed you off too many times lately, and I don’t wanna do that.”

“It’s fine,” Buck says, but he’s not sure how convincing he sounds. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re not a priority,” Eddie continues like Buck didn’t say anything, and Buck has to close his eyes briefly. Being bulldozed by Eddie’s love and care has gotten so much harder since he’s had his realization. “Because you are. So shut up and let me hang out with you, okay?”

Buck laughs a little. “Okay, okay. I’m glad you’re here.”

“So I didn’t interrupt any plans?”

“Nah,” Buck shrugs. “Was gonna go for a run or something later, but that’s it.”

He swallows down the self-deprecating “Don’t have anyone to make plans with,” before he can say it (he knows it’s not entirely true, but Maddie is so preoccupied with her own family, and everyone else has their own thing going on too, he doesn’t want to bother them), but Eddie hears it anyway, of course.

“I’m surprised you’re not at Bobby and Athena’s right now, making sure they’re recuperating.”

“I’m going there tomorrow,” Buck admits sheepishly, but Eddie looks more pleased than anything else.

“Good,” he says. “And you should come over for dinner this week, you know Christopher can’t go a week without seeing you.”

“You don’t have to make sure I’m…entertained, or whatever,” Buck mutters. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can,” Eddie says. “It’s just– you seem a little off, lately. Since the cruise thing, or maybe the breakup. I don’t know, but I worry about you.”

“I’m fine,” Buck says again. “You don’t have to cancel on your girlfriend to check on me.”

“That’s not– Buck, I want to hang out with you. I’d like it if you talked to me about what’s going on with you, but I want to spend time with you regardless of that. I didn’t come over here to check on you, or to interrogate you.”

“Okay,” Buck says quietly. “Okay. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m so touchy today.”

But he does know – he’s tired and grouchy and a little bit heartbroken, and it apparently makes him snippy.

“It’s okay,” Eddie says. “Do you wanna talk about the breakup?”

“Not really.” Buck takes a sip of his beer. “There’s not that much to say anyway. It just became obvious eventually that we didn’t have much in common. Besides the death thing, I guess.”

They’re back in comfortable territory after that, talking the same way they always do, and Buck finally relaxes. He worries about seeming anything less than normal lately, scared to be caught out, unsure about what is his normal around Eddie. Looking back, it seems to him like he’s never been really normal about him at all, but it’s different when he knows.

He’s clearly not doing the best job, because Eddie noticed that he’s been acting strange, but not the worst either, because at least he can’t tell why. And Eddie’s acting the same, so everything is fine.

The next time Buck asks Eddie to hang out, he suggests taking Christopher to California Science Center together that weekend, and Eddie says yes after only a second of hesitation.

“They’ve got a special exhibit on Da Vinci right now,” he says. “It’s supposed to be really cool.”

“You had me at ‘California Science Center’,” Eddie says with a smile, and Buck grins back, already excited to tell Christopher.

“This is so much better than going shopping,” Christopher breathes a few days later, staring up at a model of da Vinci’s Flying Bicycle.

“What do you mean?” Buck asks. “Were you supposed to go shopping today?”

“Yeah, Dad said we need to get me new jeans and shoes,” Chris says distractedly. “And I think Marisol was supposed to come for dinner. But we can do that another time, I like you better anyway.”

Buck doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know what to say, to any of the things Chris has just told him. Should he encourage him to make more of an effort with his dad’s girlfriend? But Eddie has never mentioned Chris being anything but nice to her, so it sounds like things are fine – and Buck can’t make him like her more than he does.

And– Eddie canceled his plans for him again? It makes warmth spread in his chest, a pleased little creature stretching in there. As a best friend, he should probably tell Eddie to prioritize his girlfriend, but he already knows he won’t do that. Maybe that makes him a terrible person, but it’s not like he’s telling Eddie to pick him over her. Eddie’s doing that all by himself, and Buck is selfish enough to let him.

A week later, Buck wakes up in the bunkroom with a sore throat and a headache at the tail end of their shift.

When he stumbles up to the loft, Hen only gives him one glance before coming over to worriedly press the back of her hand to his forehead.

“Yeah, you’re definitely coming down with something,” she announces, and Bobby steps around the kitchen counter, a frown on his face.

“Don’t worry about finishing up the shift, Buck,” he says. “Should I get someone to drive you home?”

“I’m okay,” Buck mutters. “Well, n-not okay, but– I can drive myself home.”

“What’s going on?” Eddie asks, coming up the stairs. He pauses at the top, taking in the scene, then rushes to Buck’s side. “Buck? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Buck says, but his voice sounds a bit croaky. “Just think I’m getting sick.”

Eddie presses his hand to his forehead too, then nods grimly. “I’ll drive you home.”

“No, seriously, I’m okay to drive,” Buck says. “I promise. I’ll drive carefully and text you when I’ve made it home and everything.”

Chimney appears in the loft next and they do the whole spiel again, until finally, the others agree to let him drive home by himself. Buck would never go so far as to endanger anyone else, even to avoid bothering his friends, and they all know it.

“Tell us if you need anything,” Hen says. “Anything at all.”

“Food, entertainment, meds, we’ll bring you anything,” Chimney adds. “And text your sister, she’ll want to know.”

“I’ll take you off the next shift, too,” Bobby says, gently steering him towards the stairs with a hand on his shoulder. “Rest, okay? We don’t want you to overexert yourself. And get well soon.”

Eddie accompanies him all the way to his jeep, his arm steady and warm whenever it brushes against Buck’s, and leans against the car while Buck climbs in.

“I’ll drop by later with some stuff,” he says. It’s not a question, but Buck tries anyway.

“You don’t have to,” he says. “I have food at home, I’ll probably just lay in bed and sleep or watch TV until I feel better. I don’t want you to catch anything.”

Eddie gives him a look. “I’ll see you later, Buck,” he says, and pointedly closes the car door.

Buck grins, helpless against it, and starts the jeep.

At home, he texts the group chat that he made it, Maddie that he’s a little under the weather but that she shouldn’t worry and that he has everything he needs, then changes into sweats and a hoodie and collapses into bed.

When he wakes up, it’s to the smell of food and soft clattering sounds from the kitchen. The red numbers on his alarm clock tell him it’s afternoon already, so he slept a good few hours despite the sleep he already got on shift. He sits up, sneezes three times in a row, and by the time he’s blinked away the sleep, Eddie is standing at the top of the stairs, holding a mug.

“Drink this,” he says, handing Buck the mug. “How’re you feeling?”

Buck makes a noncommittal sound and takes a sip of the tea. The truth is that he’s really feeling sick now, stuffy nose, full body shivers, and still that annoying headache.

“Hm,” Eddie makes, touching Buck’s forehead again. “Sorry, bud, I know this sucks.”

Buck closes his eyes. “Kinda, yeah.”

“Well, if you’re feeling up to it, I’ve got some chicken soup on the stove that should be ready soon. You can eat some of it and rest on the couch?”

“I’ll come downstairs in a bit,” Buck says, breathing in the steam rising up from the mug. “Need to wake up a little.”

“Sure,” Eddie says, his hand twitching towards Buck but falling back to his side before it makes contact. “Take your time.”

Buck drinks the tea in bed, then goes to the bathroom before he slowly heads downstairs. His head is pounding now, and sudden moves make it worse.

Eddie meets him at the foot of the stairs, brow creased.

“Come on, sit down,” he says gently, ushering Buck over to the couch and spreading his fuzzy blanket over his legs once he’s sitting. “Are you warm enough?”

Buck smiles a little. “Yeah, stop fussing. You’re such a dad.”

Eddie shrugs, but he’s smiling too. “Can’t help it.”

He gets Buck a bowl of steaming chicken soup and then sits down next to him with a paper bag full of meds.

Buck gives him a bemused look. “Did you do anything today that wasn’t for me?”

“I had the time,” Eddie shrugs. “Christopher had plans for after school anyway, he’s not gonna be home until after dinner.”

“And you didn’t want to use the time to make plans with Marisol?” Buck asks, focusing on his soup instead of on Eddie. He doesn’t want to keep bringing her up, but he feels like one of them has to, or he’s gonna go crazy.

“She gets it,” Eddie says nonchalantly, like he’s not implying that he canceled on her again.

“But…,” Buck forces himself to keep going, “are things still going well with her?”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Eddie says, a little hesitant now. “I’m just also not sure it’s right? She’s nice, and fun, and I like hanging out with her, but…I guess I just– she’s kind of further down on my list than a girlfriend should be.” He shakes his head, then shakes the paper bag in his hand. “Anyway, time to take these.”

So Buck focuses on taking his meds and finishing the soup, rather than the fact that his heart is beating a staccato rhythm against his sternum.  It probably doesn’t mean anything. Even if Marisol isn’t the one for Eddie, doesn’t mean he’d consider Buck instead.

And he loves being Eddie’s best friend. He’s so fucking lucky that Eddie picked him to be such a big part of his life. If that’s all it’s ever gonna be, Buck’s gonna find a way to live with it.

It’s just also gonna be hard as fuck, because Eddie is the kind of friend who, when Buck gets sleepy, maneuvers him down onto the couch but doesn’t get up to make room, and instead lets Buck rest his head on his lap.

He runs a gentle hand through Buck’s hair, massaging his throbbing head carefully, and Buck feels his eyes sting.

“Thank you,” he whispers, “for being here.”

Eddie smiles down at him, eyes warm. “Anytime.”

Buck holds his gaze for a few long seconds, watching as Eddie’s smile slips a little and he blinks rapidly a few times before he catches himself again.

“You okay?” he asks. “If you have to go–”

“No,” Eddie says, clearing his throat. His fingers resume their movement against Buck’s scalp. “No, I’m good. Right where I’m supposed to be.”

When Buck wrestles his tired eyes back open a few minutes later, Eddie’s not looking at him anymore. He’s staring off into the middle distance, deep in thought.

Eddie is at Buck’s loft every day for the three days he wrestles his stupid cold. It’s usually just an hour or two, but it makes the entire ordeal much less terrible. After that, Buck returns to work and his regular daily life, spending at least two nights a week at the Diaz house, meeting Maddie for lunch or coffee and helping her and Chim with wedding planning wherever he can.

Everything is completely normal, until it’s not.

On a completely normal Wednesday, on the way back to the station after a completely normal call, Hen turns to Eddie with sparkling eyes and asks, “So how are things with Marisol? You haven’t mentioned her in a while.”

“Um,” Eddie says, looking caught out. He picks at some invisible lint on his pants and says, so quiet they can barely hear it through the headset, “We actually broke up a while back.”

“What?” Hen, Chimney and Bobby ask at the time, covering the fact that Buck can’t say anything at all.

“What happened?” Hen asks.

“I just realized it wasn’t gonna work,” Eddie shrugs. He’s still looking at his knees, alternating with Buck’s like they always do when they’re crammed into the engine, rather than any of them, and his face is getting more and more flushed. “That…I wanted something different.”

He lifts his head just enough to sneak a glance at Buck, who only notices because he’s still staring so intently. Their eyes meet and Buck feels frozen in the moment, caught in his hope and the paralyzing fear that he’s wrong and would ruin everything if he were to ask Eddie.

Then Eddie jerks his head away and Buck sucks in a breath like he’s been suffocating.

“Well, good on you for realizing,” Chimney says, and Eddie looks up to shoot him a crooked grin. His face is still pink.

“I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for eventually,” Bobby adds, and Eddie looks down again, but not fast enough that Buck can’t see the little smile that’s on his face now.

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “I think so too.”

His knee presses against Buck’s a little harder, and stays there.

For the rest of the shift, Buck feels jittery and nervous. Eddie doesn’t approach him so he doesn’t either, but he can’t stop staring at him.

Eddie seems pretty normal, just doing his job and shooting the shit with Hen and Chimney like always, but every time he catches Buck staring, he gives him this small smile that’s just different enough from his normal smiles that Buck’s heart keeps skipping beats. This really can’t be healthy.

After the end of their shift, while Buck’s fighting to button his shirt up with shaky fingers, Eddie steps close to him and says, “Come home with me.”

Buck shivers, goosebumps erupting all over his skin, and misses his buttonhole again when he nods jerkily. “Yeah, sure, of course.”

Eddie’s definitely smirking now but his ears and cheeks are pink again, so at least Buck isn’t alone with his flaming face.

They take separate cars so Eddie makes it before Buck, and when Buck finally unlocks the front door, Eddie is nervously pacing the length of his living room.

He spins around to face Buck with slightly wild eyes, then crosses the room in three big strides, coming to a stop right in front of him.

“Tell me if I’m reading this wrong,” he says, and then his hands are on Buck’s face, warm and gentle and safe.

Buck catches on a second before their lips meet, his own hands latching onto the back of Eddie’s shirt. It makes Eddie smile, and that makes their first kiss a slightly off-center, dry press of lips.

But then Buck spreads his hands out on Eddie’s back, pulling him closer, and Eddie uses his hold on his face to tilt his head just so, and suddenly it’s perfect.

“Not reading it wrong,” Buck breathes against Eddie’s lips what could be hours or minutes later, and Eddie laughs a little, tucking his face into Buck’s neck.

“I was really scared,” he admits, and Buck squeezes him, presses a kiss to the shell of his ear and the side of his head.

“Me too, I was so scared I got it wrong. That my hope was, like, making things seem a certain way–”

Eddie runs a hand through his hair, looking up so he can meet Buck’s eye.

“I didn’t even get it,” he says, disbelief coloring his words. “I was already so deep– When you were sick, I told you I was right where I wanted to be. And that was true in a way I didn’t even– I wasn’t aware of just how much I literally always want to be where you are. And then that made me realize some other things, and put them into perspective, so I talked to Marisol–”

“You can tell me about her later,” Buck interrupts, and Eddie laughs.

“Okay. Let me just– I love you. That’s what I realized. I’m in love with you, and have been for god knows how long.”

Buck kisses him, slow and mostly chaste, but he’s still breathless when he pulls back again.

“I love you, too,” he says, touching Eddie’s warm cheek with gentle fingers and watching the way his eyelashes flutter. “I’ll tell you the rest of it later, too. For now, can we just – do this?”

Eddie grins, then tilts his head to press a kiss to Buck’s palm. “Let’s move to the couch first, but then – yeah, we definitely can.”

Buck would follow Eddie anywhere, so the couch is honestly his easiest exercise. And with the prospect of kissing the love of his life on it? He can’t get there fast enough.

[thiccpersonality]

Damian (Gremlin) Wayne...and his even more gremlin-esque family

A newly introduced Damian sits in Bruce's Bat-chair, observing his new "siblings" with judgmental eyes. His emerald green ones rolling into the back of his head at the ex-carny babying him: "Look you fool, I shall let you know right now that your efforts to entertain me like I'm some child will prove fruitless. Whatever I have done to make you think I'm approachable, forgive me, because I already hate you."

Richard's smile slowly fades and he clears his throat. His medium blue eyes narrowing into a suspicious glare, his lips forming a tight lipped smile: "Right down to business I see? I'll have you know that you may be the baby, but I was Bruce's first one. Whatever title you held before doesn't matter now...in fact, I would suggest you get rid of it before someone helps you get rid of it."

Damian scoffs and picks at his nails, swiveling side to side in HIS father's chair: "Worried about the competition already? As expected from a weak-willed and spineless peasant such as yourself. I suggest whatever title you held before-" his green eyes rake up and down Richard's lithe form like a predator with it's prey-"Which from your disposition I would say you are the favorite-ah! Or I should say EX favorite."

Jason grunts from where he's punching at a dummy: "Look you little shit. All we did was exist-"

Damian: "Then stop."

Jason: *stops punching to glare at the small fry* "Ex-fucking-cuse me? I already un-existed before, I am NOT doing that again. And drop the attitude before I drop kick you back to your mother."

Damian: "How cute. It's like a puppy learning to bark for the first time. I can already tell you are desperate for my father's attention like a dehydrated ma-"

Jason: *cocks his gun and points it at Damian* "Did no one tell you along the way here that I don't mind killing for Bruce? Would've tried to get rid of Bozo the Clown over there if I knew I could get away with it. And then I'd shoot Bruce myself."

Tim looks up from his tablet with a sigh: "Trying to kill another bird I see? I guess I wasn't enough for you?"

Jason: "That was due to my pit induced rage. I had no control over that-" gestures towards Damian-"But this overly confident little bitch is a choice."

Tim raises his hands in defeat: "Just saying that you shouldn't threaten the new one so soon. Plus...I'm the smart one, Bruce needs me more than all of you combined. And I know everyone's weaknesses well, do you really want to test me?"

Damian sighs and finally hops down from the chair: "Childs play. My mother has made sure I knew everything from acrobatics to knowledge of cultures, religions, languages, books and other things you plebeians would surely combust from the brains it takes to memorize such things. She made sure I had it all so I can replace all of you. And father will be mine and mine alone."

Richard plasters a friendly smile back on his face: "Seems like the one spot she missed was etiquette. Don't worry kid, I'll be happy to show you the way things work around here."

Before the argument can get further out of hand, a clearing of the throat stops the four boys. They quickly turn to see Alfred standing at the bottom of the cave steps with a tray full of cookies.

Polished shoes click across the cave floors unhurriedly, the older gentleman quietly serving the boys their cookies and turning to leave. Not before clearing his throat once again and turning to give the four boys stern looks.

Alfred: "All this bickering is pointless. You all are now family and I hope you lot will act like it. Master Bruce is already making arrangements for your schooling young master Damian, and he expects a somewhat peaceful dinner tonight."

The older man can't help the small smirk he gives, one that is confident and self-assured. "Plus, as long as I am here, there is NOT much competition. You may be his first child master Richard, but I am his first partner in anything he's done. I do hope from here on out you ALL will remember your places. Good day."

The four boys frown at the authority radiating from the usually calm butler.

Damian clicks his tongue and slinks into the shadows while silently plotting his new victims demise.

(Hello everyone! I write fics on AO3 by the same name, Thicc_Personality. I'm sorry this is my first post and it's nothing but chaos, threats and crack...they truly (do) care for each other, they just don't know it atm XD. But I am a sucker for gremlin bat family and an oblivious Bruce to the very obvious competition. That or he lets it slide so easily (especially for Damian) cause he thinks his baby son is the cutest thing ever. If anyone manages to see this...well, I hope there was some enjoyment found here xD. Stay safe, happy, healthy and of course lovely as always. 💜)

[ilys00ga]

𝐓𝐈𝐙𝐈𝐑𝐈 (1/2)

Tiziri (n): often used as a feminine name within some North African communities, tiziri is an Amazigh word that means 'moon' or 'moonlight'. It reflects and symbolizes the tranquility, serenity, and beauty associated with the moon. (proud amazigh moment)

: ̗̀➛ pair: yoongi x f reader/oc

: ̗̀➛ chapter word count: 2K

: ̗̀➛ tags: supernatural/superpowers, sorcerer!yoongi, belly dancer!reader/oc, private entertainment worker!reader/oc, arabian/middle eastern older eras settings, use of gun (nothing gruesome), time traveling, no smut, (will add more tags if necessary)

: ̗̀➛ synopsis: In a world of simplicity and ordinary, Yoongi was only a teenage boy stuck in a turmoil of his indentity and purpose in life when he embarked on a long, tough journey of endless obstacles and ignorance. For years, he traveled the world and crossed paths with all kinds of humans and characters, all kinds of situations and dangers. He worked on honing his powers and bringing honor to his kind, despite, and despite, and despite. However, nothing could ever compare to a certain set of eyes. Not that he would ever believe that himself, anyway.

OR: when a powerful sorcerer falls to his knees in front of a belly dancer’s eyes.

: ̗̀➛ A/N: Chapter one is finally here! enjoy and interact with it, so I know you're interested in more <3 and give me your feedback!!!! I'm pretty proud of my improvement with this fic. it's completely new to me, I did a whole lot of research and other stuff to make it as interesting and good as possible.

: ̗̀➛ warning: this piece of fiction does not represent any community or ethnicity or group of people. I was inspired by the arab/middle eastern culture (as a semi arab myself), but it's all a product of my imagination. I hope this point is clear.

★ MASTERLIST.

Yoongi’s eyes shifted from one corner to another, taking in the sight of the dimly lit lounge room he was resting in. The several scented candles scattered around casted warmth and a hint of intimacy to the air. A kind of intimacy he didn’t find in any of the places he visited in other villages and tribes before in his long journey.

A few customers settled down on comfortable floor cushions just like he did. A small band was playing on oud, goblet drums and other instruments in a corner. Their music drowned the noise of quiet chatters and the soft boiling of a number of hookahs, including the one Yoongi had planted inches away from where he was lounging.

He took a long drag, feeling the refreshing flavor of mint and lemon smoke on his tongue. By habit, his fingers fidgeted with the magical long chain he always had wrapped securely around his wrist. He liked tracing the engravings on its moon shaped pendant.

A number of dancers emerged to the center of the room, each with an almost see through red veil over their head. The music continued flowing as they danced around. Yoongi didn’t bother lifting his eyes from the carpeted floor, focusing instead on the rhythmic instrument sounds he grew to like listening to, but soon after, when he did, his eyes froze on one single figure.

Among the group of performers, one stood out the most to him. And by the content smiles and lingering eyes he could see on the faces of the other attendances—once he actually peeled his eyes away from the show before him—he could guess this particular one was a favorite.

She took the center with a different, more accentuating attire than the rest. Yoongi let his eyes observe the way she moved her body, the way her arms extended and moved ever so gracefully, the way her waist had a life of its own. Her hips swayed fluidly, oscillating between sharpness and smoothness. Her face and hair were hidden behind a cloth, showing off her eyes alone.

And those eyes… A sight he never saw before.

Her irises: each with a different color. One, a perfect brown, the other, an ice blue. Each chanting: I am beauty, magic and temptation.

Yoongi wanted to avert his gaze. To look away and feel the boredom seeping into his pores like it was supposed to. To note whether every swing and turn is well synched with the flowing music or not. But he couldn’t. The hookah mouthpiece stayed tucked in the corner of his mouth. He kept his eyes carefully fixated on her, face blank and empty of emotion, as he followed her every move.

A server crossed the hall, holding out a tray of pretty metal goblets to the dancers. Without breaking the performance, she smoothly picked one up and stood up straight in front of him. He watched as she marched a few steps closer and knelt down, then held it out to him.

In that very moment, as her sultry eyes locked with his cold ones and pierced well into them, a chill ran down his spine. He, for some undefined reason, found her eyes so captivating that he couldn’t bring himself to blink just yet.

He reached a hand out and took hold of the cup without breaking the contact of their eyes. Then, he watched as she found her way back to her spot at the center of the huge persian carpet underneath her.

The moment she stood still, her hips broke out in quick quivers that lasted for a good one or two minutes. It was mesmerizing, like she controlled the sound of the drums herself, matching every single tap on its own with a proper lift and drop.

The performance went on for a few more minutes, and Yoongi slowly sipped on the drink he was served. His gaze was mostly fixed on the golden anklet wrapped around her ankle, absentmindedly grounding himself after being in the chokehold of those mesmerizing eyes for longer than he’d ever like.

When he didn’t hear the instruments playing any longer, followed by the clapping that erupted around the hall, he realized that it was over.

His gaze never left the dancer that had his full attention the entire time as she bowed down gracefully then quit the hall with the rest of the group through a beaded curtain.

“Have a blessed evening.” Said a man, who looked close to being past his forties, at the front desk near the exit. He had a turban similar to the other servers inside the lounge, but different in color.

Yoongi’d been in there for quite some time, sitting down and enjoying the calm atmosphere, thinking and mulling things over. Amongst the train of thoughts he was taking, he found himself thinking back on that same performance. The one that caught his attention like no other before.

He never was one to sit and devote his attention to such pieces of entertainment, yet he never watched something quite as spellbinding as that of some previous minutes. Time was a concept he could often play with, though with some unprevented consequences. Yet those eyes, like a magnet, pulled at his senses to a world where time stood still, unmoving.

Although that thought alone stirred some irritation in his system, a tiny piece of his being deep inside couldn’t help craving more of it, more of that special sight in itself.

Acknowledging the worker’s service, Yoongi nodded his head respectfully and ignored the way his gaze lingered on his own face a few seconds more than necessary, before heading towards the wooden exit door.

It was sometime in the late afternoon when he got there, but the sun was already almost completely hidden under the horizon. The warm tints that color summer skies around that time were fading out, leaving room for the night to fully set in.

He looked at the pale buildings aligned on both sides. The lanterns hung along the tall, semi narrow passageway worked well with the paleness of the limestone of the village’s architecture.

Everything was new to him there. A sudden want to see the atmosphere under the moonlight alone, away from all the humanmade lights, washed over him as he walked ahead with steady steps.

Yoongi was immersed in breathing the beginning of a chill night’s air around him when a sudden body collided onto his, once he'd made it near a sharp bend.

He quickly steadied himself, a low curse slipping out between his lips, and the other person almost made it to the ground had it not been for the tight grip he had on their arm, pulling her up.

“Argh!” Their cry grabbed his attention. “Careful there!”

The person—a woman groaned as she clutched onto one of her shoulders. He took note of the blood under that hand and her pained expression. One of her eyes was covered with a black eyepatch, while the other roamed his face carefully as if trying to identify it. After some seconds, her frown dissolved a little.

“You-” she cut her own sentence short with a pained yelp. A hand yanked her by the hair and pulled her away from him.

“Hey, hey hey!” Yoongi was on high alert. He quickly grabbed the arm in a tight hold, willing to draw it away, but the other face-covered man yanked his collar with his free hand instead.

“Mind your business, foreigner.” He growled through gritted teeth, then pushed him aside.

“Get your hands off of me!” The woman exclaimed, rushing to free herself from the harsh grasp. Yoongi was able to get a direct glance at the injury on her shoulder once she moved her hand from it.

He heaved a sigh, grabbing the man’s arm again with more force. He had to remind himself to keep his strength at bay, to not blow his own cover just yet. He, however, couldn’t resist punching him in the face.

The punch was quite effortless, but the man stumbled to the ground. Yoongi was ready to receive whatever reaction he could get from him when a shout from the end of the passage grabbed his attention.

“Boss, there she is!”

Two other men were rushing towards them. One of them had the same exact clothing as the one he just dealt with, while the other was dressed in something that looked fancier than the other pair.

If the number of his opponents did not worry him, then the gun that the latter was holding out in their direction did a perfect job at unsettling him.

“God- What are you doing? Run away!” The woman behind him urged, but did not move an inch from her own spot.

He turned around and gave her a confused look, but the man who was on the ground surprised them both and struck him with a punch.

Yoongi's teeth dug into the inside of his cheek. He hissed. “That was painful, damn it.”

With quick, sharp moves, Yoongi countered his opponent with a jab to his guts and a kick to the ribs. Then, he gripped his covered head and slammed it onto his own knee, before throwing him to the ground again.

The other two were so close to reaching them. He wasted no more precious seconds and spinned, gripping the woman's arm before starting impulsively running through the labyrinth alleyways foreign to him.

The ground under their feet and the buildings on both of their sides were a blur. The sound of her ragged gasps ringed in his ears as he tightened his grip on her arm, feeling her pace winding down the slightest of bits.

“Don’t stop!” Yoongi threw over his shoulder.

The sounds from the busy main street were getting closer and clearer. The scent of fresh market wares grew thicker in the air. From spices to fresh herbs, vegetables and fruits. A light sense of relief filled him at that.

Moments later, the stillness of the alleyways was replaced with the warmer and brighter atmosphere of the bustling market. They hurried through the main, larger street, blending into the crowds of modestly dressed individuals.

Yoongi threw another glance over his shoulder and spotted the three figures searching for them. With a swift clench of his hand, all the lanterns that were assembled above the entirety of the local market with multiple cords were switched off, followed by a second or two of complete silence before people started moving and mumbling in confusion. The only thing illuminating the place was the moon that started its fresh journey in the night’s sky.

The face of the uncovered man twisted into a grimace, frustrated as he couldn’t catch a glimpse of them or even move through the crowd. He pointed his gun up to the sky and shot a couple of times.

Startled gasps and scared shouts erupted in the marker. Yoongi cursed under his breath as people started scattering and scrambling around in all directions.

“From here!” The woman was the one to pull at his hand this time. “Hurry, quick!”

They struggled through panicked bodies until they slipped into a narrow backstreet, never looking back. Even as the volume of the chaos was getting lower behind their backs, they kept running and taking turns through the web of never ending alleys.

Using his free hand, Yoongi made sure to subtly move some things he deemed helpful around to block the path behind them.

The further they ran, the harder it was for Yoongi to distinguish the differences between each alley they took. His breathing was beginning to become heavier, the distant presence of footsteps and grunts chasing after them was no longer audible—or maybe he just was too distracted by the woman’s pained gasps and hisses to pick up on anything else.

“s-stop… I c-can't...” She struggled to mumble.

With one last glance over his shoulder, Yoongi pulled her into an alcove, pushing her gently onto the wall while keeping a wary watch over the path they’d just taken. When he found no trace of their chasers, he stepped back and hid his body as well, panting.

“Don’t you dare move.”

[honeyjars-sims]

3.13 On I Go

It was Johnny’s first day as a Production Assistant at Rainy Day Entertainment and he was feeling a bit out of his element. Part of him didn't feel prepared to enter the workforce at his first Grown-up Job. Surely someone would notice that he didn't belong there.

He was shown to his desk, which was tucked away in a corner. As he began to put his things away, he observed his new coworkers. Opposite from him sat a girl with dark brown hair. She was engaged in conversation with a couple of other girls. One was a bit bookish with long auburn hair and glasses; the other was dressed in bright colors with a personality to match. She was animated as she addressed the others.

“I’m just saying, if Damien asked me out, I wouldn’t say no.”

“Lilly! he owns the company we work for. Don’t you see the implications of that?” The auburn-haired girl questioned.

“Of course, Quinn," Lilly replied. "But I’ve also seen those dimples.”

The other brunette snorted. “What you’ve seen is the magazine cover calling him San Sequoia’s Most Wealthy Eligible Bachelor.”

“Well, I have always seen myself living a life of luxury, but I don’t need Damien for that. I’m going to be successful in my own right.” Lilly looked a bit offended as the other girls snickered.

She glanced over at Johnny, suddenly aware that there was a newcomer in the midst.

“Oh, you must be the new PA! I’m glad we finally hired one. We’ve really needed someone around here to run errands.”

“Yep, that’s me. The name’s Johnny.”

“Hi Johnny! I’m Lilly Chique, but you probably know that if you watch the channel.” She tucked a lock of her dark brown hair behind her ear as she threw him a satisfied smile.

“Hmm, I’m sorry, I don’t. But it’s nice to meet you.”

Lilly’s face dropped. “Hmm, that’s okay. You should probably start catching up, though. It’ll help you a lot to get familiar with the on-air talent.”

“I’ll get right on that.”

“Fab! Well, I better get to rehearsal. Toodles!” Lilly’s earrings jangled as she flounced away.

“Don’t mind her.” The dark-haired girl turned towards Johnny. “She’s a bit dramatic but she’s a really nice person. I’m Lacey, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know. I actually do watch the channel,” Johnny admitted with a smirk.

Quinn couldn’t hide her amusement. “Oh, so you were just trying to take her down a peg.”

“I guess that was pretty mean," Johnny responded sheepishly. He hoped his snarky joke didn't leave a bad impression. "I’ll let her know I was joking the next time I see her.”

“I'm sure she'll laugh it off," Quinn assured him, pushing her glasses up on her nose. "So, have you met your supervisor yet?”

“No, she had a meeting this morning, but I’ll be meeting with her in a few.”

“She’s pretty cool,” Lacey said. “Very busy, though. Always on the move.”

“Maybe that’s why she needs an assistant,” Johnny pointed out.

“Probably so! I think you’ll like it here. It’s a fun place to work.”

A burst of laughter broke out behind them.

“So I see,” Johnny replied.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[dragonflydestiny]

Letter from your Soulmate 🌻

My second pick a card. This pick a card is going to be about letter from your soulmate. What would they write to you?. Would their letter respond to yours? (you can reread 'your letter to your soulmate' in my first pick a card I post earlier). Let’s find out. Pick from 1-4. Thank you.

P.S. This is a very long pick a card for me and I put in a lot of work so I would be very grateful if you could tip me, only if you have the means to. It would encourages me to do more. Thank you so much.

Disclaimer: This is meant as entertainment only. Takes only what resonate.

My Master Lists

💌

💌 Letter 1 🦋

The Lovers, The Chariot, Father of Swords in reverse and 4 of Pentacles (back of the deck).

To (Your name),

I knew from the moment we first met, I felt a sense of familiarity. Your presence alone brings me a feeling of nostalgia. When our eyes meet, I feel like I am existing in the present, the past and the future all at once. It is very strange, and for a brief second it feels like time didn't exist. At that moment, I’m sure was confused. Hesitantly, I introduce myself to you, half expecting you to somehow recognise me and say that we've met before. I'm sure we did, this meeting doesn't seem like it's our first. Would you believe me if I say that there are histories and memories of us buried deep inside waiting for us to uncover it again?. It wasn't love at first sight with you, but more like remembering I have loved you all along. All these time I was waiting for you to show up, a piece of my puzzle I was missing and when you did, I felt so relieved. Yes, I thought to myself, I know it's you, it is going to be you. My soul recognises yours because it is the same stars that we were born. Even though It took us so long to meet, I know I would've been much more happier if we've met earlier.

Before you, I used to dream about having someone by my side, someone I can experience both the joy and pain of life together. And we would travel to every corner of this world but I guess I was naive. My biggest and most painful lessons came from those desires. Through the union with my past person, I had dealt with such malice and hostility. Loving another person became a game, it became dangerous for me. I learned it the hard way of how not to love someone. I'm not proud of what I did and what I had to do to get out of my previous relationship. But that story had long ended. I didn't know it myself but I was searching for you. I was searching for you in everyone that I'd dated/met. But with my past person/people we couldn't see eye to eye. We lacked communication and eventually drifted apart. At those points, I start to wonder if that is it in life, was that my peak of happiness. And sometimes, I'm not going to lie, I did believed that was it. Nothing else can make me happier, until now.

Finally, now I can see the sliver lining. I used to resent my past choices and always play the blame game, if only I'd know that those same choices I made would lead me here to you. I would've been more than willing. I would've been able to make peace with it sooner. Like I said before, if we'd met sooner, I would've be a very very happy man/woman. But I know life doesn't work like that. Seeing you makes me want to try again, to give this 'love' thing another chance. To practice lessons that I learned. I still have a lot to learn but it is very hard for me to hold back from pursuing you. Just know this, when we first met, I wanted to go after you right away but half of me know that I am not ready. I still need to learn to be patient and less impulsive. I need to learn to see situations from different perspective and to control my emotions. I tend to let emotions blind me from seeing things clearly. I can't go to you yet if I don't learn these things. So please wait for me, know that I will find my way back into your arms again.

The torments and pains I will have to face, I will face them with courage and determination just to be with you again. And when I am lost, I will find myself again with your love. Although I don't remember our love, I have never forget it "cause I loved you than and I love you still". I can't wait to remember how to love each other again together in this life. I already know though, that I am right behind you in all that you do, I pray for you to be safe and taken care of when I can't be there with you. When your heart breaks know that mine break too. I promise that it will be easier once both of us let go of things that are too heavy to carry. Gently, I will go with the flow, like a river then eventually meeting the vast ocean, where it is wide and free. And what it is that you have to say I will listen to you, my heart will be open and ready then. Ready to listen to you and only you.

With love,

(Their name)

Channeled song from them to you: Woodlock - I Loved You Then (And I Love You Still) "And I'm right behind you in all that you do. And I spoke with God. He’ll Take care of you. Find me. Stone on a hill. Cause I loved you then. And I love you still."

💌

💌 Letter 2 🌷

6 of Swords, 9 of Cups in reverse, Son of Wands and 6 of Pentacles (back of the deck).

Dear You,

Life was hectic lately but thankfully it is getting calmer. I can finally see the rainbow after the storm. Now I want to take a little get away trip for the weekend to celebrate the end of this tough cycle. It was difficult because of the work that I do and unfortunately there were misunderstandings as well. So much was going on, I was up the wall and didn't have much time to write to you before. Even though, it is settle now, I am still not satisfy with where I am at. Between you and I, I want to confess that I am unfulfilled, with my life, with my job and with what I do. I would never say this out loud or to anybody about how unhappy I am with my life. There is so much conflicting energy around, both on the outside and within me. I tried so hard with my work, my business, working slowly towards my wish but I don't see much progress. So now I am frustrated. I wonder if you can understand what I am going through or at the very least sympathise with this frustration too.

Thankfully, slowly it is getting better but it took a lot out of me and now I am burnt out. I need to rejuvenate or else I won't have time or energy to meet you. I need to rest to revitalise and go on a vacation to somewhere nice and relaxing. I do wish you could come with me. After the rest, I will come back stronger than ever. There's this new project that I want to start. Even though I have to wait to be replenish first, I am just so excited to get it started and I want to tell you all about it. But sometimes, I can get ahead of myself and tend to focus a little too much on the future such as what I have to do next. It's hard for me to focus on my rest when all I want to do is jump start on my next project/adventure right away. Do you have something you are passionate about as well?. Don't you get these impulses too?

All in all, I work hard and I always want to play fair to others. I would tell myself to be kind and treat others how you want to be treated. But unfortunately, some people just want to screw you over. There were times where my kindness were being taken advantage of and it did led me to my downfall. I used to give too much but it only left me with nothing and for that I learned to hate unfairness and unfair people. I still resent those people who took from me and left me out in the cold. I will be hesitant to give because of my past and I hope you can be fair to me and understand my hesitancy. I also want you to know that it was hard work and it still is hard work for me to learn to be kind to myself. It was because I was being unfair to myself first that allowed others to do the same to me. For the longest time I ignored my own heart and in turn, I was the cruelest person to myself. But I thought I was being selfless, ultimately those 'selfless' acts I wrongly perceived only led me to resentment and bitterness towards others especially when they don't give back to me what I have given them. And when my cup was empty, my demands from other was out of hurt and desperation. It was not an easy realisation coming to term with the fact that I was mostly responsible for my own misery.

It was a hard lesson but I learned it now. To get away from the turmoil, I stopped ignoring my heart and I strongly urge you to do the same. Choose and act with love, follow your truest desires because I believe it would eventually lead you to me. Please believe that your purest desire will never lead you astray, it will forever guide you. I believe that to be true for me and in turn, I believe in myself. I will also believe in you too. When I look at you, I can see how brave and strong you are especially when you go after those desires. I truly believe you can achieve anything. You want to reach for the heights so don't be afraid to fall. I know you can see my wings and I fly high in the sky but "little birdie, you are also a bird in my eyes, when will you realise that you can fly too?”. So let's fly and conquer the world together and when your wings are tired, I will carry you. Just like you, before I was a flightless bird, scared to fly and scared of the heights but when I learned that my wings wasn't broken, only disregarded, I began to daydream of all the wonderful things I deserve. Things of divine essence, I began to daydream about you, "to dream of you even when I am wide awake". To be curious about you and see with my own eyes how will you spread your wings and start your flight because I want to be by your side. And this letter to you will be proof of my daydream come true.

So see you in a while my little bird.

(Their Name)

Channeled song about them: Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird, American Mouth "Have I found you? Flightless bird, brown hair bleeding Or lost you?"

💌

💌 Letter 3 🪲

2 of Pentacles in reverse, 5 The Hierophant in reverse, 2 of Swords in reverse and 10 The Wheel of Fortune in reverse (back of the deck).

Dear (your name),

It’s truly harder now for me to believe in true love. There were chains of events that led to my pessimism. Changes that weren’t pleasant. I understand that two people can love each other but eventually, they will change and become a completely different individuals. So what then, would that two specific people love each other’s new selves still?. Do you think they will still love each other?. Because I don’t think so. They might’ve loved that person for the person they used to be but that doesn’t mean they would love their new selves as well. Because of these facts, I am scare of change, people changing, it can break a relationship, taking away people you used to care for most. They can change into a completely new person and you wouldn’t recognise them anymore. So you are forced to mourn the death of that person’s old identity and be forever parted. As you can tell, I have a negative connotation with change, it is one of my deep rooted fear. However, deep down I know that change is very necessary. But this fear is still lingering and deep within me, subconsciously affecting how I view my life and my relationships. So, If I change, would you still love me the same?. Or would you resent me instead?.

Nonetheless, I do find the growth rate of a person fascinating, whether it’d be spiritual growth or emotional growth. But I have to admit that it also scares me. Subconsciously, it terrifies me. To think that one day people whom I loved and know most will turn into strangers and become unrecognisable. So I am scare to go deeper and to open my heart. I am afraid that I would be left behind if I am the only person in my relationship to open up. I would become oblivious to the mask my partner can wear. I don’t want to be oblivious to the fact that truly, I didn’t know the person I was with at all. They never show me who they truly are but is only pretending to be somebody they’re not. It is very hard to come to term with this fear especially when it comes to choosing a life partner. So if I open my heart to you, would you let me in and crack my guarded heart open?. Would I be able to be vulnerable with you?. Teach me to show you “the stranger” in me, even if I resist. Do you have a part of yourself hidden away as well?. Would you let me see too?.I want to be brave together and get rid of this blockage we both have. Blockages of our secrets and truths that we didn’t want to face. We hide part of ourselves because we are insecure, we don’t want to be judge because of how we look or how we live our lives. I didn’t want to be judge, only accepted. So I pretended to be someone I’m not just to fit in and over time I, too, became a stranger to myself. I regretted a lot of my past decisions because it was chosen through falsehood. Failed relationships were also a result of that as well. Ironically, I became the manifestation of my deepest fear. It is funny how the universe works. But not anymore, because with you I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not. When I get to know you, you accept me as I am and you make me value my true self. You don’t judge me and you let me live my life. The least I can do is to give you the same respect.

So, no more falsehood, no more illusions. I start to become greedy with life again. I decided to disregard my miserable destiny and doom mindset I had curated for myself. I want to face the truth and become my authentic self even if people do judge. I want to stop waiting for the wheel to turn, I want to gather all my courage and turn the wheel myself and become the master of my own fate and the captain of my own soul. You can do it too. The universe had been silent with me for far too long, I asked for guidance, for a message and I received none. I asked them to show me who I am and what my life purpose is, there was no answer. I felt lost and I became passive, just letting life dragged me along. I can no longer sit back and waste away my time anymore. Let’s take control of our lives together, you and I, realise that because we are more than capable of forging our own path and choosing our own directions. We are both so worthy. We are worthy of love and success, worthy to receive love, to give love and becoming successful. I don’t want to be indecisive anymore. I used to believe that my opinions didn’t matter, no one cared. I was also scared of the consequences it would cause. Because decisions can be life altering, it could change the course of my life path, for better or worse. I was scared of that risk so I shifted the accountability and the responsibility to the divine and by doing that, I also shifted my own powers. And my life became really really dissatisfying. I don't want to do that anymore, I want to break the cycle, I want to be empower. Now I learned to respect myself and my decisions. I will respect your decisions too, without judgement. Whatever you will choose, whatever it is regarding, know that I will support you no matter what. You are so worthy of everything, loveable things I want and will give to you and I'm sorry if you and the people around you couldn't give that love to you before. Yours and mine’s journey are mirrored and all those past "could've beens" and missed opportunities taught us enough pain to not let it pass by again. Still, I am so proud of both of us for everything we have to go through.

All the promises I made, in this and last lives, will be kept. The promise that we will protect each other, that we will be safe in each other's arms. No wrong or harm of me turning into a stranger to you and stop loving you. When I know you, I can never stop loving you. If you or me become strangers to each other, I'm certain that I will fall in love with you again and again and again. Because our bond is spiritual, it goes beyond this life time. A stranger we will never be because you are a part of me, a piece of my soul. We will live this life together like we did the last. Although I know this to be true, I am sometime skeptical. I will ask for proof that magic is real, that you are real. But we both know that we have to believe in magic to see it. And I will, I will believe and trust in this connection. I will try my hardest to have faith and believe that it is meant to be. And when we face difficulties, I will make my choices with love. I will make decisions with your heart in mind because "my heart is so full of you I can hardly call it my own". And when the time comes for me to be with you, I would know that my internal fire was guiding me all along just like I had asked. It will be proof that magic is real because my choices eventually lead me here, back to you where I have always belong. Won’t be long until we meet again.

From your biggest supporter,

(Name)

Sorry no channeled song for this pile.

💌

💌 Letter 4 🌹

Sorry I forgot to write down your tarot cards 😥

Dear my love,

Lately, I’m suffering a lot, especially mentally. Things are not doing so well. My dreams turn into nightmares and now all I see are dark visions. I don’t think my future look very bright. Am I destined to fail?. All these fears creeping in every night and they are eating me alive. I feel like everything is against me, all my friends turn into enemies. Slowly, they’re waiting for my downfall. When will these sufferings and struggles end ?. But little by little, through these sufferings, I get a spark of clarity. Especially when my demons come into light and manifested in people around me. I can see how demanding, power hungry and greedy they can be. People around me mirror back what I don’t want to become. When I interact with them, I realised that I am stronger than I thought. If I can deal with these malicious beings, I can deal with anything. I can face hard challenges. With will and determination, I can get through a lot of obstacles. Overthinking and worrying wouldn’t do me any favours. I can learn through these hardships, learn to become more resilient. And every time I have to face those negative thoughts again, I will fight against them. I hope you’d do the same and remember this my love, “the clouds in your confusion comes from your own mind and thus, it can only be taken away by your own mind”. And when you are aware of this, clarity will come. With clear visions, you can learn to ”bend the world to your will”.

Unfortunately, for me, my cycle of self-destruction haven’t end. It is still lace and exacerbate by my environment. When I asked for help and support, it was only met with betrayal and abandonment. All my life, I was left alone. People had abandoned me and now I nearly abandoned myself as well. All these doubts and fears run too deep, they were instilled in me since childhood. People around me have hurt me and now the pain has become unbearable. I couldn’t take the pain and the anxiety anymore. I decided it was best for me to leave and go my own way. I distanced myself from everyone around me. If you are curious about my past, forgive me if I am reluctant to share, it is still hard for me to revisit them. But more importantly, I want to tell you that I have started to work on myself. Controlling those fear-based thoughts. I sit with those thoughts and instead of being consume by them, I entertain them. I try to find and see different perspective to these worries. I ask questions to find the root, to find objectivity because most of these fears are so subjective and self-induced. And someday, I hope, my mind would become my greatest asset instead of my biggest enemy. Slowly, I will learn to do exactly that. I will work through the self-sabotaging thoughts, slowly changing my narrative. To really believe that things are not against me but they are actually working in my favour. And positive mindset will help me build harmonious relationships, with myself, my friends and most importantly, with you.

I want to work on myself because I want to show up as my best for you. I want to be there for myself and stop this cycle of self-abandonment. I want to be brave, strong and confident. To know that one day, I can show up for you and help you fight against those negative forces too. I want to be there for you wholeheartedly. To tell you that you are always supported, by your spirit guides, by the universe and by me. You are never alone. I want to tell you that I am proud of you for fighting with your demons and thank you for when you would help me fight mine too. You have never abandon me and I will never leave you. All the hardships I will fight through it with you. And every time you smile, it only gives me more reasons to fight.

I want to transcend and face whatever life throws at me just to see the light ignited in your eyes again. My dark visions turn bright when now I see that you are a part of my future. You have lend me the stars in your eyes so I can walk through these dark roads, you are so kind. I have never felt a love so powerful. All those pains I’ve been through, when I saw you, I feel like I’ve finally awaken. At last, you brought me light and shifted my world. My world is new and the whole sky light up. You are my light, my sunshine. Through your light, your presence, your being, it is warm and bright. “Everything looks different now that I see you”.

You brought me true love and true happiness. Your name replaced the word “love” in my vocabulary. I can say that I learned so much from you, I learned what true love and true compassion is, it is surely the definition of you.

Your true love,

(Name)

Channeled song from them to you: Found by Zach Webb “I, I found life When I found You”, “All the times that I cried, I know. You were there. Holding me tight”

💌

Thank you so much for stopping by, please do not hesitate to comment and leave a tip if you want. Any constructive criticism is also appreciated. See you on the next pick a card, you can leave any topic suggestions.

Kind regards,

- Dragonflydestiny 🪲

[poemnic-tarot]

Intuitive Channeled Messages For You

1-2-3

4-5-6

(Disclaimer : This is a general reading please only take what resonated. For entertainment purposes only)

These are short messages I channeled without card, just intuitively. Please let me know what you think, I’d love to know!.

( Art designed on Canva )

🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰

Pile 1 🧸

"You begin to get what life is all about. Every incidents, now you realised, was not a coincidence.It was meticulously planned for you to get here. Where you are today. Every road lead you here where you can see it all from an objective point of view. And you get it, you finally got it. You would not be confused no more, you trust the universe unconditionally. You will go where they lead you. There are fears of course and doubts and hesitation, but they would never stop you from vibrating in a high frequency, a vibration of love and compassion.

You used to be scare, all the time. Scare of life, of people in it, of all your choices, was it the right choice?, did i made the wrong one?.Why is everyone against me, why is the world against me?. Now you realised, it was just all karmic, it was designed specifically for you. So you could learn your lesson and move up. Ascend and become who you are today. Wise, at peace and more trusting than ever. Trusting of life, situation and most importantly, yourself and your choices. What you went through got you here today and you will be forever grateful. To the Divine,to yourself and your soul, for leading you home finally.

Poem: Sorrow To Joy by @cant-find-my-name

This big transition came through

A revelation

Firstly, we changed our beliefs

Reevaluate our wants and our needs

What makes us happy?

Who values we are following

Who we are without the things we do

Strip away all the unnecessary

Let go of pointless worries

To truly turn joyful

First, we shifted our energy

In this new me, being joyful

Is very easy

Song : Coming Back For You by Fireboy DML

Well I pray that the universe Gives you way more than you deserve When the tears fall like shooting stars Remember who you are Just look up to the sky you'll see

Well I pray that the universe Gives you way more than you deserve When the tears fall like shooting stars Remember who you are Just look up to the sky you'll see I'm coming back for you

🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰

Pile 2🛍️

“I can still recall what happened vividly. The memories would never leave me. In a way, it shaped who I am. I identified with what I went through. All of it, the good and the not so good. I appreciates all the good times, all the good people. I wish them well and I know they would do the same for me. I am on a new journey. Honestly, I have no idea where I am going, where am I headed to?.It seem not that important to find out, I figure I'll just start step by step into the unknown. I’m willing to, in a way, I was waiting for this moment. Hoping for it in fact.

It seem I had shaded my old skin. Despited remembering everything that happened. I want to changed. I want to rebuild, I want to become something else. It not because I hated my old self or anything, in fact. It's the opposite. I love my old self very much, but I think it’s just time. Time for me to discover a new side of me that’s different. That the world have never seen before. I am excited, nervous but not scare at all. Which I'm thankful for, I want it to be a fun journey, learning about myself, who will I become. I love every versions of me, the old and I'm already sure that I will also love the new. I guess it's my new purpose in life, get to know thyself again and I'm looking forward to meet me.

Poem : Shooting Stars by @cant-find-my-name

My eyes Shined

They reflected the distance light

I’ve never pray so hard in my life

Wishing for a living dream

Wishing to know

What does all the pain mean?

Trying to find the reason

The universe put me here

And I can’t -

Find the reason

Even as stars shimmered

And shoot down

It is me that has been earth bound,

I can’t go back

I can’t go home

The limit is getting too loud

Going aimless

Wandering about

Maybe it is time for me to discover

Reach deep within me to know

How far did I come from?

And how far can I go?

Song: I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik (Treasure Planet)

I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen anyway, you don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy, no, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown? Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me 'cause I'm not here

And I want a moment to be real Wanna touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on and feel I belong

🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰

Pile 3🍑

“It's the people that loved you for who you are that helped you made it. They were a voice telling you not to give up, even when you wanted to. Even when there was no more reasons to go on, you think of the people who loved you. And in a way, their love for you saved you, when your own love wasn’t enough.

But you are still not out of the wood yet, but you're not scare of it no more. You are not scare to be alone anymore. People are your strength and there's experiences of that, but they are also your weakness. The world is more complicated and more than one dimensional and frankly, it's giving you a headache. You just want to live a simple life, a minimalist, no complication, alone in a forest surrounded by nature. You want your wood to turn into a forest. And build a cozy cottage to refuge there when the real world is too much. But most of your life, it's a graveyard of regret and it's full of shadows that you rather ignore. However, no more of that you finally decided. You pray for life to get better, for yourself to get better and in a way, you did not see a way out of it alive.

But in those darkness, you saw light and that light has led you to where the sun shined through. You can see better days," the monsters turned out to be just tree". There are better days, healthier ways to live. And in a way, you want to find that out for yourself. There are alway balance in life, you must remember one thing. When there's darkness, there is also light. When you encounter one the other will also find you. When you experienced one side, don't be scare to face the other. That is how you learn, that you will alway be okay.

Poem: Invisible Force by @cant-find-my-name

Something is choking me

The invisible force

Stronger than what's real

Maybe the scariest thing

Are what we're all thinking

Not necessary the truth

Or what happened

But what could have been,

It's scary to see

What isn't there

The affect is real

But the enemy aren't here

Song: This is me trying by Taylor Swift

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway

I just wanted you to know That this is me trying I just wanted you to know That this is me trying

🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰

Pile 4🍇

"Peace will find you, no need to seek it. It's there for you to tap into it, anytime, anyplace. No need to acquired more to get it. The misconception that you need this or that in order to feel whole. It a misconception, you only need one thing child. And that is yourself. If you have yourself, all of you, the dark and light part of you, the side you loved and admired and the side that make you look away. All parts of you deserve recognition. They are you and yours alone, so we got to honour them. Every part of you love you and want your attention and want you to acknowledge them. Let us finally do that. Let us look into the mirror and see ourselves finally.

We are a pure soul, there is nothing wrong with us, no matter what people implied. We are not broken, we are whole. Your soul is intact, it is there for you to go back and connect to it. Your soul is waiting for you to answer its calling. You heard it but you ignore it because life get in the way, but, if you're trying to find that fulfilment. That feeling of, aww there it is the thing I'm look for?, as annoying as it is, it is that part of you that you wouldn't dare look at.

Poem: Surrendering by @cant-find-my-name

Surrendering my sorrows

Surrendering to my flaws

If there is no Perfection

I would be perfect

Nitpicking my visions

Aiming for the best

Left behind a broken body

And an anxiety ridden mind,

Right path don't do that

Peace is not a compromise

Tis a birth right

Just like how everyone will die,

Getting my soul back

Revived my forgotten joy

Everyday supposed to be precious

Not wishing for it to stop

Song : Back To Beautiful by Sofia Carson

They say You're not good enough, you're not brave enough You should cover up your body Tell me, watch my weight Gotta paint my face Or else no one's gonna want me

Why do we say this to ourselves? And even worse to each other? Why do we say this to ourselves? Ooh

We gotta, get back to beautiful Gotta, get back to beautiful All these words, starting wars Over who can hurt who more Gotta, get back to beautiful

🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰

Pile 5🍰

"Something is changing, you can feel it. More internally rather than externally. But it's changing all the same. But you're not scare or excited. You are just neutral about it. But there is that part of you that goes, Finally. Because lately, nothing evokes your interest.The desires you had once feel ill fitted. When you realised that nothing really matter, not in a depressing way, but more of a freeing way, You accepted that as truth. You are not satisfied in life, yes, but seeking more things will not do either. You don't want more per say, but there's something missing that you don't know how to put into words. The missing piece might not be tangible, might just be intangible things that you can't hold onto. Which way should you headed towards when your inner compass is kind of confused.

Forward is the way, you will never be lost, as long as you keep moving forwards and not stop. We will not rush either. When we are in a confusing state, we must take our time and experienced our moment fully so that there won't be a lapse in our memory. Memory is a tricky thing, if you think too far into the future or the past as you experiencing the present, then your present becomes filled with memories from the future or the past. So the present moment will never exist. Be careful of letting moments passed you by, it is alright to not know why you are feeling this way. It is alright to be confused or sad or even unsatisfied. It is alright to be in that state in your present because whatever you are feeling at the moment, the present will eventually become a past.”

Poem: Renewal by @cant-find-my-name

There is hope in this world

In words that you said,

Even though it's a lie

You tell yourself it'll be okay

Maybe not now

Definitely not right now

But hopefully someday

You begin to notice the yellow

In dandelions,

How it shine like gold

In certain light.

Now you finally see

The colourful sky

How many shades of it

Changed with time.

How every poem you write

Begins to rhyme

And you know there's a reason for all this

Every little bit of it

So whatever happened

Do not resist

For you shall learn to embrace it

Song : Take A Chance by Flume

So you feel all your powers unfold

Stretching our big wings while the white is turning gold So tell your story baby, don't give up, just let it all go out You're quiet wishing for something now

Will you be the one to take a chance? Have demands, spill your heart Will you be the one to take a stand Make the girls dance Spill your thoughts Will you be the one to take a chance? Have demands, spill your heart Will you be the one to take a stand Make the girls dance Spill your thoughts, will you?

🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰

Pile 6🌙

"The unlimited possibility you seek is there for you to tapped into. Your believed is everything, so be careful what or who you believe in. Miracles exist, just look into a mirror and witness one. Look into your own eyes and wondered who that soul is. For it is you, but there so much you don't know about yourself, yet. Instead of feeling bad about that, we should feel excited. For it is a privilege to know thyself. Know your limit and your unlimited possibilities. How many grains of sand on the beach, that is how much your potentials lies. What you can achieved in life is up to how much you are opened to recieved.

My dear, you are magnificent, I wish you can see yourself through my eyes. How you hold on to life, wise beyond your years. Give it everything you got, no matter what that is, is such a human trait even gods envied. Every difficulties you go through know that those got nothing on your willpower to get through them. You are a strong little human, whose hope is bigger then the universe.You believe in the better, better days, better life, better energy for this earth. And your hope/light is what is keeping this planet alive. Keep believing in your power, because you are powerful. And loved by many.

Poem: Home Coming by @cant-find-my-name

My Divine Mother gentle touch

She taught me so much

By being nurtured we grow

By being loved we thrive

By being connected

We become part of the Divine

I know you look at yourself

And see a scare child

Darling, that's quite alright

Cause you are protected, alway

All the flaws should be

Embraced

There's no need for harsh judgment

Gentleness to ourselves is what

We should aim for

Realise what's important

Now look at yourself one more time

And see the true core

Song: Hummingbird by Metro Boomin & James Blake 

Hummingbird, summer sun, has it brought my life back? Hangin' in the balance, have you brought the light back? And how long's the night shift? She's sure I get away with Realizin' she might be all I need in this life

When I saw a cold snap, I wasn't with the season Attack was on the airport and outside there was a season In here paper walls are pushing back on you like Eventually you push through, the moment that you realize

And hummingbird, I know that's our time (That's our time) But stay on, stay on, stay on with me And hummingbird, I can never unsee What you've shown me, stay on, stay on with me

🍰 🌸 🍬 💫 🍉 You Are Loved 🍉 💫 🍬 🌸 🍰

🍑Thank you for reading! I would love to know what you think. See you soon!!!🧿

🍏Check out more of my Original Poetry at @cant-find-my-name or my IG Poemnic

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