#so i dont think he would do the active kicking-out

[sesamenom]

apologies for the lack of art lately, i just got new glasses and am still adjusting :(

in the meantime, anyone have thoughts about lomion and tyelpe's relationship in the reverse gondolin au?

[orcelito]

Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[harrysfolklore]

Hi! Can you pls pls pls do a fic with Lisa (from Blackpink) as the face claim????

mystery man

summary: yn is dating someone from the f1 grid, but fans are having a hard time guessing which driver he is

folkie radio: last smau before the 2025 season kicks in!! honestly this is a weird concept but i hope you like it i had fun doing it !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by tchalamet, arianagrande and 2,947,360 others

yourinstagram just living my best life 🌊

view all comments

username1 MOTHER

username2 did she just soft launch ???

taylorswift The way I already know who this is 👀 happy for you bestie!

sabrinacarpenter Finally!!! 💕

username3 WAIT IS SHE DATING SOMEONE??? After that heartbreak album she released last month??

username4 the height matches jacob elordi who she was seen with at the grammy's after party!

username5 GIRL YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THIS AND NOT TELL US MORE

username6 detective mode: activated. he's tall and athletic build

username7 was this taken in Monaco??? The coastline looks familiar...

username8 TIMOTHEE LIKED!!! ITS HIM

shawnmendes 😍

username9 WHAT IF ITS AN ATHLETE ???? LIKE AN NFL PLAYER

username10 we need to solve this mystery asap

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by username1, username2 and 10,836 others

ynupdates YN HAS ARRIVED AT THE MIAMI FORMULA 1 GRAND PRIX!!!

view all comments

username1 PAUSEEE

username2 THE MOTORSPORT GIRLIES WERE RIGHT!!!!

username3 so the mystery man she’s dating could be a FORMULA 1 DRIVER

username4 quick somebody check which garage is she at

username5 we might know who her boyfriend is soon OMFG

username6 i KNEW she was dating someone from f1 since she started posting from monaco

username7 CARLOS??? IS IT CARLOS???

username8 yn and max would be THEEE couple

username9 charles has been liking her posts for the last 3 months 👀👀

username10 WAIT remember that lando posted stories with her songs !!

username11 y’all she’s been to mclaren and redbull so far 😭 how are we going to guess which one she’s with

username12 ITS MAX IM TELLING YALL

username13 plot twist: she’s with ocon

username14 followed by most of the drivers, visiting redbull and mclaren, wearing a mercedes cap last week, she’s really making sure we don’t figure out which team

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris and 1,837,944 others

maxverstappen1 Good to have you in the garage today @/yourinstagram 🏎️

view all comments

username1 MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN

username2 ITS MAAAAX SHES DATING MAX

yourinstagram thanks for teaching me how to drive the sim! still can't believe i crashed 10 times 🙈

↳ username2 GIRL ARE YOU DATING HIM OR NOT

↳ username3 the way she’s trying to play it cool 😭

username4 COUPLE OF THE CENTURY

redbullracing Our favorite garage guest 💙

tmz CONFIRMED: Max Verstappen and pop sensation YN are dating

username5 everyone thinking it was Ferrari meanwhile... ����

username6 IS THIS THE WAY MAX SOFT LAUNCHES ???

username7 plot twist she’s not dating max

username8 their face cards side by side thooooo

username9 she was trying to be smooth and max just posted this

username10 UM I DONT THINK ITS MAX STILL

liked by yourinstagram, oscarpiastri and 1,987,468 others

landonorris MIAMI BABY!!! 🏆 First win we did it! Thank you team, thank you fans, and special thanks to the one waving that flag 😉

view all comments

username1 HUUUUUHHH

username2 HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED 😭

username3 wait… i thought she was dating max

danielricciardo CONGRATS CHAMP

oscarpiastri Well done mate 👏👏

yourinstagram congrats lan 🧡 best flag waving of my career tbh

↳ username1 GIRL WTF WHICH ONE ARE YOU DATING

↳ username2 ADRESS THE RUMORS

↳ username3 the way she’s making it impossible to guess which one she’s dating

username4 HOLD UP... EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS MAX???

mclaren Our favorite flag waver 🏁💕

username5 plot twist: she’s not even dating a formula 1 driver

username6 WHO is trolling us

username7 y’all it’s lando.. she posted a pic OF HER

username8 IM STILL A MAX X YN TRUTHER

georgerussell63 😂😂😂

username9 am i a fool for believing there’s still a possibility for yn and charles ??

username10 hear me out… they’re actually a throuple

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 2,936,378 others

yourinstagram living my best F1 life 🏎️✨ thank you miami gp!

view all comments

username1 GIRL BE FOR REAL

username2 SHES SO ANNOYING

maxverstappen1 Best garage guest 👌

↳ username1 IS IT YOU?? ARE YOU HER BOYFRIEND

↳ username2 he marked his territory in the comment section it’s him

charles_leclerc ❤️

↳ username3 WHERE ARE THE CHARLES AND YN THRUTHERS AT?

↳ username4 guys it’s charles, lando and max posting about her rules them out because they usually gatekeep their relationships

landonorris Best flag waver in the business 🏁

↳ username1 IM SO CONFUSED RN

↳ username4 i give up trying to guess which one is it

username5 THE WAY SHE’S PURPOSELY FEEDING ALL THREE THEORIES IM CRYING

username6 GIRL WHO IS IT 😭

dualipa STUNNING ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

gigihadid queenieeee ily

username7 is no one going to talk about the possibility of lewis?? he’s also single and she was wearing a mercedes cap last week AND he has been to her concerts

username8 everyone: "Which driver are you dating?" YN: "Yes"

username9 what if it's been Charles this whole time? 👀 she keeps posting from monaco

username10 this woman is a menace. she woke up and chose violence.

username11 DIDN’T CARLOS SAINZ RECENTLY TAKE A BREAK WITH HIS GF?? WHY IS ONE ONE TALKING ABOUT HIM (it would make sense that she’s giving hints about everyone but him)

liked by username1, username2 and 10,386 others

f1gossip BREAKING: Charles Leclerc spotted kissing mystery woman on a yacht! 🚨

view all comments

username1 WAIT... that hair length... IS THAT YN???

username2 WE FUCKING WON. IT WAS CHARLES ALL ALONG

username3 So the Red Bull stuff was just friendship? 😭

username4 what about the lando connections though?? we're so confused

tmz Sources confirm Charles Leclerc's mystery woman is NOT YN. Story developing...

username5 charles and YN would be such a power couple though 😩

username6 y’all yn is with max give it up

username7 he way this whole fandom is having a meltdown over a blurry photo 💀

username8 watch this be someone from monaco and not yn

username9 THE WAY YN HAS BEEN MIA THO

username10 YN's location right now: Los Angeles Charles' mystery girl location: Monaco. Math's not mathing besties...

username11 this is getting better than drive to survive

username12 the way we all jumped to conclusions... again 😭

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 3,823,099 others

yourinstagram red era? maybe so 🌹

view all comments

username1 SHES SO MESSY

username2 MOTHER LITERALLY MOTHERING IN FERRARI RED THE SIGNS WERE THERE ALL ALONG

arianagrande my sissy 🤍🤍

username3 NAH BECAUSE WHY IS IT THE EXACT SHADE OF FERRARI RED?? CHARLES COME GET YOUR GIRL

username4 so it’s really charles huh

mtv i’ve died dead

username5 stand up if you've been personally victimized by yn's ‘guess which formula 1 driver im dating’ game

username6 we were all fighting about max vs lando meanwhile charles and yn were the real deal... mother is SNEAKY

sabrinacarpenter 😍😍😍

username7 no because the way she's been collecting all three of them like infinity stones... max's garage pics, lando's flag moment, and now serving charles' team color... queen behavior methinks

maxverstappen1 When can I come to a show?

↳ yourinstagram anytime maxie!

↳ username1 max x yn LIVESSSS

↳ username2 IM SO CONFUSED RN

landonorris Looking 😍

↳ yourinstagram ☺️

↳ username3 LANDO THATS YOUR FRIEND’S GIRL

↳ username4 she’s dating all of them that’s it

carlossainz55 Amazing color 👏

↳ username1 EVERYONE SAYING CHARLES BUT WHAT IF ITS CARLOS

↳ username2 carlos and rebecca just announced their breakup… i’m seeing something

username7 CHARLES LIKED

username8 she’s so messy i respect her for that

username9 listen… what if she’s with CARLOS

username10 i want yn to come out and say surprise i’m actually not dating any driver

liked by lewishamilton, yourinstagram and 2,033,749 others

maxverstappen1 Pre 🇲🇨 @/yourinstagram

view all comments

username1 NOT MAX POSTING HER AGAIN

username2 MOTHER??? WE WERE JUST CELEBRATING YOUR FERRARI ERA LIKE TWO HOURS AGO???

username3 the whiplash i just got... WASNT SHE JUST WEARING FERRARI RED?? MAX EXPLAIN??

redbullracing The best supporter 💙👌

username4 no because we were literally making charles wedding edits and now she's back in red bull gear... this woman is SICK

username5 THE WAY I NEVER LOST FAITH... THATS MY POWER COUPLE

username6 crying throwing up sliding down the wall she fooled us AGAIN

username7 i give up trying to guess who she’s with

username8 our dating theory timeline is in shambles. SHAMBLES.

danielricciardo 😂😂😂😂

username9 WHATS THE TRUTH

yourinstagram ☺️☺️☺️☺️

↳ username1 GIRLIE STOP

↳ username2 she’s messy and i respect her

username10 i told y’all she’s with max, he never posts ANYONE and he has posted her twice

username11 not me deleting all my charles theory threads...

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 2,986,048 others

yourinstagram monaco pit stop 🏁 built half of a mclaren lego (we’ll finish it next race) and this special helmet joins my collection

view all comments

username1 GIRL COME ON

username2 the fits eat thooooo

landonorris you definitely cheated btw

↳ username1 YN AND LANDO SUPREMACY

↳ username3 this is my power couple

↳ yourinstagram you wish lannnn😌

maxverstappen1 The helmet looks better in your collection anyway 🤝

↳ username4 MAX AND YN. THATS IT

↳ username2 max is the bf come on !!!! why would the mighty max verstappen post something other than racing

↳ yourinstagram i’ll send you pictures so you don’t miss it

charles_leclerc Best country in the world, right?

↳ yourinstagram damn riiiiight

↳ username3 i cannot do this

zendaya we have some catch-up to do 👀👀

username4 dating the entire grid and i'm here for it tbh

username5 trying to keep up with her love life: 📉📈📉📈📉📈

username6 I STILL THINK IT COULD BE CARLOS SMH

mclaren That lego car better be finished by Silverstone 👀

redbullracing Our helmet game: 📈

username7 not even the social media admins know what’s going onnnn

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by username1, username2 and 13,049 others

ln4updates LANDO SPOTTED IN VIP AT YN'S LONDON SHOW !!!

view all comments

username1 OMFFFFGGG LANDO

username2 i'm team lando now that charles is out of the race

username3 THE WAY HE KNOWS ALL THE WORDS?? HELLO???

username4 not him wearing the unreleased merch (the cap) boyfriend behavior methinks 🤨

username5 max was busy doing community service and lando said lemme take my shot

username6 everyone calm down he probably just supporting his friend… right? RIGHT?? MAX X YN IS STILL REAL

username7 I'M STILL HURT ITS NOT CHARLES

username8 i've been a lando and yn truther since day one

username9 max wya we need you to clear something up real quick

username10 WE WON

liked by maxverstappen1, yourinstagram and 1,022,389 others

lando.jpg thats my life baby i'm a rockstar 🎶

view all comments

username1 LANDO WTFFFF

username2 HE REMEMBERED THE PASSWORD OF THIS ACCOUNT JUST TO POST HER FFS

daniel3.jpg 👀👀👀

username3 lando nation WE WON

username4 someone explain why max keeps posting her if she's with lando??

oscarpiastri Tell them about how you've been practicing your dance moves in the garage for weeks

↳ username1 DRAG HIM OSCAR

↳ username2 OSCAR JUST CONFIRMED LANDO X YN

username5 the fact he never posts this much about ANYONE..

username6 friendly reminder that max gave her his monaco helmet xx

username7 remember when she said her type was spanish… just saying

username8 HER FACE CARD THOOO

yourinstagram 🤩🤩

↳ username1 GIRL STOP THIS MADNESS

↳ username2 JUST SAY WHO IT IS

liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 1,985,328 others

carlossainz55 Now playing: Moonlit floor by @/yourinstagram 😍 Perfect song for an evening drive 🎵

view all comments

username1 NOT THISSSS

username2 CARLOS JUST ENTERED THE CHAT

username3 remember when yn changed the lyrics to "kiss me under the madrid twilight" WHAT IF IT WAS FOR CARLOS AND NOT JUST BC SHE WAS PERFORMING IN MADRID

scuderiaferrari Always the best tunes ❤️

username4 i would say it's him but he recently got out of a relationship

landonorris good taste in music 👌

↳ username5 LANDO NATION WE UP

↳ username6 i'm a lando x believer forever. it has to be HIM

↳ username7 marking his territory

username8 everyone fighting over max vs lando while carlos has been quietly winning

username9 the ferrari red was always for CARLOS not charles

username10 plot twist of the century if carlos ends up being the one

username11 lando literally went to her show last week and posted her don't push this carlos agenda now

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, landonorris and 3,099,584 others

yourinstagram grazie mille 🏎️❤️

view all comments

username1 GIRL STOP THIS MADNESS

username2 IS THIS HOW SHE SOFT LAUNCHES CARLOS IS THE ONE

username3 the way the ferrari signs were always there but we thought it was carlos

sabrinacarpenter teach me your ways sister 😂

carlossainz55 Smooth operator in training 😉

↳ username1 STOP THIS

↳ username2 I'VE JUST DIED DEAD

↳ username3 i was team lando but LOOK AT THIS MATERIAL

maxverstappen1 Traitor.

↳ username4 IM SO CONFUSED RN

↳ username5 ITS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUUUU

scuderiaferrari ❤️

charles_leclerc Smooooth

↳ username1 still devastated cause it's not charles tbh

username4 max's comment 💀 someone's jealous

username5 everyone: must be dating max or lando carlos: quietly gets her in a ferrari

username6 BUT WHAT ABOUT LANDO GOING TO HER CONCERT

username7 plot twist: she's been with carlos this whole time while we've been theorizing about max and lando

dualipa ferrari girl 😍😍😍

liked by maxverstappen1, yourinstagram and 1,984,398 others

f1 Our favorite paddock regular 🏎️ @/yourinstagram

view all comments

username1 f1 admin woke up and chose violence with this photo selection

username2 admin really said "let's cause chaos"

username3 the way this post just reset all our theories to zero 😭

username4 everyone: we finally figured out who she's dating f1 admin: hold my beer

username5 notice how comfortable she looks in mclaren colors just saying…

username6 NOT F1 ACCOUNT DROPPING THAT CARLOS X YN PIC HOLD ON

username7 max doesn't laugh like that with just anyone… just pointing that out

username8 TEAM LANDO WYA

username9 that first pic… there's history there and we all know it

username10 admin dropping these pics then turning off notifications probably

username11 the way we'll never know who it actually is 😭

landonorris still haven't forgiven her for beating my sim racing time

↳ username1 LANDOOOOO COME ON

↳ username2 he’s the one

carlossainz55 The real smooth operator

↳ username3 i’ve never been more convinced that it’s carlos

yourinstagram just doing my job keeping everyone guessing 💅

↳ username4 THE WAY SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S DOING

↳ username5 not her adding fuel to the fire with that reply 😭

↳ username6 SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE THEORIES

liked by username1, username2 and 11,976 others

f1gossip Lando Norris spotted driving a Ferrari in Monaco this morning... wait isn't this YN's car? 👀

view all comments:

username1 HELLO??? THIS IS LITERALLY YN'S CAR FROM HER INSTAGRAM LAST WEEK

username2 ok but why is he driving HER car at 7am...

username3 plot twist: carlos gave her the car but lando's the boyfriend 💀

username4 everyone thinking it was carlos when lando's been the one all along

username5 max unfollowing lando in 3...2...1...

username6 carlos giving her the car just for lando to drive it is wild

username7 YN NEVER SAID CARLOS GAVE HER THE CAR THOOOOOO

username8 the way this fandom switches teams every 2 hours 😭

username9 remember when charles was part of this theory

username10 imagine being carlos watching your car being driven by lando who's dating the girl everyone thought you were dating

username11 to be fair everyone just ASSUMED carlos gave her the car just bc it’s a ferrari

username12 MAX FIGHT BACK??

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by username1, username2 and 12,846 others

ynupdates YN has arrived at Las Vegas paddock ahead of the title-deciding race.

view all comments

username1 wearing neither orange nor blue… diplomatic queen

username2 WHO ARE YOU SUPPORTING

username3 imagine if your (maybe) boyfriend needs p4 to win WDC while your (maybe) other boyfriend needs a win to stay in the fight 💀

username4 the way she's probably ghosting both of them rn to stay neutral

username5 notice how she's not in either garage yet… switzerland staying neutral

username6 max about to win his 4th title while everyone's focused on her outfit choice

username7 if lando wins we're analyzing every reaction clip of her

username8 las vegas script writers really said "let's make it spicy"

username9 SHES WITH CARLOS GIVE IT UPPPP

username10 remember when we thought the dating drama was complicated and now we have CHAMPIONSHIP drama too

username11 carlos watching everyone stress while he's secured p5 in standings and got the girl

username12 istg i’m the only lewis believer

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 3,022,937 others

yourinstagram Thank you scuderiaferrari family for letting me watch this historic race from your garage. Grazie mille for always making me feel at home in red ❤️

view all comments

username1 EVERYONE: analyzing max vs lando YN: anyway here's me in ferrari red

username2 THE WAY WE WERE ALL WRONG… IT WAS CARLOS ALL ALONG

username3 she watched max become 4x WDC from… carlos's garage? 🤔

taylorswift 😍😍😍

username4 LANDO FIGHT BACK

username5 i miss when charles was part of the theory (love you alex)

troyesivan she’s an icon she’s a legend and she is the moment

username6 not her switching teams AGAIN when we finally thought we had it figured out

username7 the real winner today was carlos and we all know why

landonorris Papaya rules anyway

↳ yourinstagram 🤫

↳ username1 STOP THIS MADNESS

↳ username2 she’s dating carlando and max is her side chick

carlossainz55 Mi familia ❤️

↳ username3 i don’t know what to think anymore

username8 UM MAX NOT COMMENTING HELLO????

username9 plot twist she’s dating fred vasseur

scuderiaferarri Our favorite guest forever ❤️

username10 everyone playing chess while carlos was playing smooth operator

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 3,985,587 others

yourinstagram 2 HANDS - out this friday at midnight 🏁

view all comments

username1 NO FUCKING WAAAYY

username2 guys all the dating drama was just promo for this...

dualipa THEY'RE NOT READY 🤩🤩🤩

username3 ORANGE?? LANDO NATION WAKE UP

username4 one is carlos and the other is lando SHES DATING CARLANDO

username5 not her dropping this right after watching max's title from carlos's garage… the CHAOS

sza song of the year already

username6 sooooo it was all a pr strategy

username7 carlos watching his 2 week relationship era end: 🧍‍♂️

charles_leclerc Already on repeat

↳ username1 SPILL THE BEANS YOU KNOW WHO'S THE BF

↳ username2 remember when he whas the front-runner 😭

username8 the way she had us theorizing about ferrari just to hit us with mclaren colors… she's evil for this

username9 best pre single campaign ever

maxverstappen1 😉

↳ username3 STAND TF UP AND FIGHT BACKKK

landonorris finally 🧡

↳ username4 HUUHHHHH

↳ username5 ITS LANDO ITS LANDOOOOO

liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 2,096,465 others

landonorris 2 hands on me all times

view all comments

username1 CASE CLOSED

username2 LANDO WTFFFF

yourinstagram player 2 has entered the game 🎮

↳ username1 YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHIIIT

↳ username2 end this madness now

username3 the way this isn't even subtle anymore

mclaren 👀

username4 remember when we thought it was carlos last week? 😭

username5 WHAT ABOUT MAX???? I STILL BELIEVE IT COULD BE MAX

username6 max winning WDC while these two are doing… whatever this is

oscarpiastri FINALLY THANKS

↳ username1 OSCAR MUST BE TIRED OF KEEPING THE SECRET

↳ username3 IM DYING

username7 guys don't get too confident we always end up chanfging theories lol

maxverstappen1 In my defense...

↳ username5 WHATT

↳ username6 JUST SPILL

username8 the way carlos just stopped trying lol

yourinstagram 😉

liked by username1, username2 and 14,749 others

gossiphub YN's "2 HANDS" music video premieres tomorrow. Youtube thumbnail reveals "filmed with professional racing drivers" 👀

view all comments

username1 BOYFRIEND REVEAL IN 24 HOURS WE'RE NOT READY

username2 wake up babe yn is about to break the internet again

username3 MY FINAL BET IS CARLOS

username4 plot twist: it's all of them in the video and she's just enjoying the chaos and she's not dating anyone

username5 sources say multiple f1 drivers were involved in filming… THIS IS NOT A DRILL

username6 CARLANDOYN THROUPLE REVEAL

username7 the car is orange like come one

username8 betting sites already taking "which driver appears" bets 💀

username9 imagine if after all this it's just alex albon in the video

username10 MAX I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU

username11 this might be the biggest marketing campaign i've ever seen

liked by arianagrande, landonorris and 3,986,499 others

yourinstagram 2 HANDS - official video out now. Starring the reason behind this song @/landonorris 🧡

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username1 I JUST FELL TO THE FLOOR

username2 this cover art EATS

username3 WE ACTUALLY WON??? THIS ISN'T A DRILL???

sabrinacarpenter ate and left no crumbs 🤩

username4 THE WAY SHE JUST DROPPED IT LIKE THAT NO WARNING

troyesivan I KNEW IT!!!

username5 carlos and max stans in the mud rn but respectfully

username6 carlos watching this after that ferrari garage pic: 🥲 (but happy for them fr)

username7 MAX NATION WHO ELSE IS CRYING

dualipa 🔥🔥🔥

username8 we really theorized for months just for it to be minecraft boy 😭

carlossainz55 Felicidades amigos! Also thanks for using my garage for the plot twist 😂

↳ username1 NO WAY THEY WERE ALL JUST PART OF THE GAME

↳ username2 THE WAY ITS CONFIRMED THAT THE DRIVERS JUST PLAYED ALONG

maxverstappen1 About time you two announced it. Now everyone can stop asking me in interviews 😅

↳ username3 NO FREAKING WAY

↳ landonorris sorry max we had to steal some attention from your 4th wdc ↳ yourinstagram thanks for keeping our secret max 🤫

georgerussell63 Called it since Australia! Pay up alex_albon ↳ alex_albon I was sure it was the ferrari garage thing 😫

landonorris Love you babe 😘

liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 2,298,993 others

landonorris my girlfriend let me drive my car in the 2 HANDS video (yes she's my gf mystery solved xx) 🏎️🧡

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username1 I'VE DIED DEAD

username2 NOT HIM DROPPING IT LIKE THAT IM LITERALLYYYY 💀💀

username3 carlos nation we lost but at least we lost to lando

username4 everyone analyzing ferrari garage pics while these two were playing minecraft im gonna scream 😭

oscarpiastri FINALLY 🙌

mclaren We love to see it 🧡

username5 I STILL CANT BELIEVE THEY FOOLED EVERYONE

username6 carlos watching his two week relationship theory die: 👁️👄👁️

username7 how did lando noRIZZ pull her

username8 IM DEVASTATED. IT WAS MAX THE SIGNS WERE THERE

maxverstappen1 Finally I can stop pretending I don't know what theories everyone is talking about

↳ yourinstagram max you're literally the worst actor ever 😭

↳ landonorris that interview stutter was oscar worthy mate

↳ username4 so they watched us suffer and didn't do anything about it

carlossainz55 Operation distraction success 😎

↳ landonorris might've worked too well mate i got scared for a sec

↳ username1 IM DYING

username9 I KNEW IT FROM DAY ONE

georgerussell63 The paddock's worst kept secret finally out

username10 okay but can we talk about the video?? SLAYS

yourinstagram my boyfriend (yes he's the one from the theories) letting me use his car for the video 🧡 stream 2 HANDS besties xx

↳ username1 SHES A MENACE

↳ username2 the fact that she saw the theories for months and just ran with them

↳ username3 WE'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS

↳ landonorris thanks to everyone who bet on me 😘😘

[hoshinasblade]

Hi I love ur Hoshina fics sm!

Anyway you were asking for headcanons last time, do you think our Hoshina sends dick pics to his s/o? I'm not sure if you write nsfw but it will be fun to read if ever! Thanks x

HAHAHA anon, this is so interesting. minors, please don't interact with this one.

honestly i dont think hoshina is above sending thirst traps - he would be the type to send you a picture of him topless while still sweaty after his workout, and he'll probably throw a peace sign or two and tell you that he's just tryna be cute. liar liar, pants on fire. he gets his kicks on knowing he can fluster you with that. im a bit hesitant on dick pics though, and it's not because i think hoshina is a prude - hell no - but i think it's because he was never able to get a good angle ever so he doesn't think it's sexy enough for you to look at. and let's be honest, if he's gonna send you a picture of his immaculate junk, he would rather go to you and show it personally. im assuming he's got more privileges and therefore freedom so he can roam around even after-hours or get out of the base when he's not that needed.

one nsfw headcanon i have for this guy though is that though he never sends dick pics, he excels at moaning audios. his voice would be deep and husky from both sleepiness and lust, and he would just sound really, really hot. you mentioned to him once that you liked him dirty talking during sex and it activated a switch in his brain that you can't turn back off. he had definitely sent you multiple voice messages where you can hear him moan while he's touching himself. you overheated the first time you listened to it.

also yes, i have some nsfw prompts lined up, just gotta look for some momentum and chance to write. i know i yap a lot here but i also work full-time so that makes writing a bit hard for me since my process takes longer than i sometimes intend it to be. it's always worth it though hehe i like writing for hoshina. if you have a specific nsfw scenario you want me to write about, feel free to let me know and i can possibly whip up even a drabble or a one-shot for you.

[transformers-spike]

hi, greened out anon LOL i dont think i meant literal gardening, i meant getting h!gh like off lil gummies and stuff 😅 sorry I didnt make it clear, im shocked i even typed that coherently. You dont have to write that if you dont want obvi, still love you/your content 🖤

THAT'S A EUPHAMISM??? I had noooo fucking idea honestly Honestly bots dealing with humans high on weed is rlly funny to me. I'm sure they have their own drugs, but just the idea of them trying to figure how to act around their human is hilarious Idk if they can truly smell the weed, but I'm sure they can tell you're acting all different. TFP Ratchet does not care as long as you don't bother him - but if you don't move for the next 2 hours he's going be concerned Soundwave just films you saying the wildest shit and keeps replaying it when he needs a laugh. Chances are, Laserbeak's going to watch over you for a bit so you don't get yourself killed by accident Airachnid gets a kick out of how easy it is to give you a bad trip. And if that doesn't work, she'll just play around with you like a fly in her web. Don't recommend hanging around her The only ones who would actually fuck you in your baked state are Smokescreen and Knock Out. Smokescreen because he's down for everything - and Knock Out because you're so cute when you're high, and so very reactive to his touches

Oh and Megatron too I guess. But he'd fuck you just about anytime so... he doesn't count Everyone else is concerned/apathetic about it. You do you. Some get a kick out of your high state - others not so much

Meanwhile TFA team Optimus is smoking weed with you in solidarity. It doesn't even work on them, they're just exhausted with life and if this is a human bonding activity then spark-dammit, they'll participate

[i-still-got-love-for-you]

Sparks Fly

Jason Grace x gn!reader

545 words

cw: this is literlly just fluff, im 95% sure its completely gender neutral, potential verb tense errors but those might just bother me, dont know if this is a blurb or a drabble

a/n: hello! breaking the posting schedule to bring you the first written fic i've made for any fandom other than tvd. i would love to hear some feedback! dw, i WILL post on thursday, just wanted to kick off october with some fluff!

“There you are!”

The sound of his voice startled you, making you whip your head around to see him. Jason’s shirt was off, his bare chest glistening with sweat. He was slightly out of breath and hunched over his knees with effort.

“Here I am,” you replied, a small smile overtaking your mouth. You scooted to the right, making room for him on the pier. You’d been there since lunch. You had always preferred the view of the ocean to your cabin's activities.

Sitting down, Jason took his glasses out of a pocket in his shorts and put them back on. “Percy was actually hard to fight today. I almost thought it’d end in a draw.”

His sarcasm made you giggle, and he smiled, and you wished you could take a picture. His dimples were the most adorable things in the world, and his smile was so genuine. The fact that he had glasses on did not help your crush on the boy.

“How terrible that would have been. You would have disgraced your cabin,” you teased. Jason laughed at that, and your heart almost stopped. Your cheeks were surely pink now, and you hoped he assumed you were sunburned.

“What have you been doing?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Nothing of note. Just sitting here and looking at the water.” It brought you peace to close your eyes and listen to the ambiance.

“Sounds nice.” A comfortable silence fell over you two, and you inched your hand closer to his with every passing second.

When skin met skin, a thousand volts of electricity swept through your entire body. Your head turned to him, and found he was already looking at you.

Your gaze moved from his eyes to his lips, subconsciously moving closer to him. Then, your lips touched, and you were on cloud nine.

You closed your eyes as you leaned into the kiss, blood pounding in your veins as Jason kissed you back. It was all consuming, the only thing your brain could focus on was Jason’s lips on yours.

Reluctantly, Jason broke away from the kiss, breathing heavy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know if you’d want to kiss me back-” You quickly shut him up by grabbing face and pulling towards yours.

Your hands ventured around his body, moving from his face, to his shoulders. They finally rested on his chest, relishing in the skin to skin contact. His wrapped his around the small of your back and pushed you closer to him, as if there was any room left.

The kiss broke once again, this time initiated by you to get some air. When you leaned back, you could see sparks igniting around Jason's head. He noticed them immediately, blushing and bowing his head. "I do that when I get excited, sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't be sorry," you giggled, "It's kinda cute. Makes me think of a Taylor Swift song."

"What? Electric Touch? Call It What You Want?" he guessed. "Wait, maybe I'm your Superman?"

You giggled again, "No, not any of those. Sparks Fly. How do you know those other ones?"

"It might sound creepy, but I always listen to what you say." And with that, you bring him in for another kiss.

[livelaughlovesubs]

I need to vent amongus Boothill hngg 😩 I've been down bad since the leaks like seven plus months ago hnggg please plEASe 😩

I'm a slut for cowboy characters hnggg I love his drawl literally told my partner before his voice was released if he didn't have an accent then what was the point

Please he's so pretty and shdbdhdh he makes me giggle and kick my feet I know he'd be the Roger Rabbit to his lover (or like Hosier when he tweeted "my girlfriend is made at me I want to die") he's such a devoted hunk of man 😤 listen he's the lock in kinda hoe ya know when he's in a fully committed relationship he's the biggest sluttiest sub, he doesn't half ass his relationships ok

I know a lot of people debate on if he can feel or not with his body but I raise: we literally have VR sensors to detect touch IRL rn so I'd say with some effort absolutely but typically if he's working it's probably best they're not as active

Country boy, I love youuuuuu 😘😘😘😘

I don't care what biology or society says I'm gonna make him my bride and impregnate him even if I have to get Ruan Mei's help (she'd absolutely do it out of curiosity fr fr).

-🐇

Pls, when I first saw leaks of him I thought he was very ugly 💀 I DONT KNOW WHY, I LOOKED AT THOSE LEASK AND WAS LIKE: WTF IS THIS MAN? And all the comments were simping over him, while I sat there thinking, ‘damn, ya’ll simping over such a random ass cowboy? Why.’

Now I’m such a whore for him on god, I came back to the game just for him and have 200 tickets prepared for him 😭😭 mind you before I came back I had zero (cuz I took a break after losing on balde’s banner again) prefarmed all his shit and got artefacts ready for him too. Also build my other characters, grinded till I got to 300 tickets to get an exclusive bronya for him etc etc. How twisted fate is uff.

Anyway, boothill as a slut/ whore is such a hot thought. Him being a teasing bottom, who almost seems like a power bottom would be so sexy. But after I saw his ‘shy’ expression I must say, an inexperienced, all talk no bite and shy boothill is >>>>

HIS BLUSHING FACE IS SOOO CUTE I ALMOST DIED ON THE SPOT, I ALMOST CRIED.

Just imagine him being cheeky, until you touch him, praise him and stroke his hair. How his eyes widen and his lips tremble due to the embarrassment. His body must be overheating again, otherwise he doesn’t have a plausible explanation as to why he feels so hot. Avoiding your gaze at all cost as he put on big airs again, only to squeak and whine when you kiss him so tenderly <33

[the-s1lly-corner]

hii could u do hcs for eyeless jack,laughing jack and puppeteer with a reader that celebrates their birthday but nobody remember abt it? like would they comfort the reader? (this is my first time requesting so sorry if it’s weird or anything… and u dont have to do it if u feel uncomfortable by this request ofc!)

Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Puppeteer comforting the reader after their birthday is forgotten

Long title but I couldn't think of anyway to shorten it hisshiss GROWLS!! Also you're all good anon!! Not a weird request at all!

Notes: reader is GN, reader is implied to be a normal person who isnt a creepypasta/killer

CWs: none

EYELESS JACK

birthdays dont mean much to him, he personally doesnt celebrate his birthday- in fact he stopped celebrating it long before he began eating human flesh... definitely the cynical "its just marks a year closer to death" people

that being said he knows it means a lot to you, so when you come home crushed because all of your friends and family forgot or simply brushed it aside, he makes an effort to try to celebrate it with you

decent cook and an okay baker, but i can see him being a pro at making those single serve mug cakes so hes going to make that for you- easy to make in a pinch as well as saving on food waste since youre the only one who can eat it between the two of you

tries not to bad talk those who forgot your day, but you can tell in his face thats hes got some not nice things swimming around in his head

birthdays arent a big deal to him but hes willing to make an effort for you because it means something to you

LAUGHING JACK

you come home to a surprise party! how could he forget your day? he's even- hey hey why are you crying? do you not like surprise parties?

oh he is furious when he finds out everyone overlooked and forgot you today, you might have to stop him from doing something drastic- hes still got some of his whimsy, he still deems birthdays worth celebrating and he takes them fairly seriously

instantly kicking into overdrive trying to cheer you up and getting your mind off of everyone else- clearly they dont care enough, and hes more than enough to keep you company! and hes not afraid to voice his thoughts on that!

tried to make you a cake... its... not the best... hardly resembles a cake but he tried his best! you... might have more luck with chowing down on his candies...

oh he definitely puts one of those birthday hats on the both of you! you get the larger sparklier one!

PUPPETEER

like eyeless jack, birthdays are hardly worth celebrating in his opinion... though his tune quickly changed when you decided to throw a small party for him as a "make up" for missing his birthday- whenever that is hes not sure

but hes not much of a planner... and hes hardly a comforter... so you coming home in near tears throws him for a bit of a loop- but hes already saying exactly what you need to hear in order to draw out what happened... everyones forgotten?

similar to laughing jack he voices his thoughts that those who forgot clearly arent worth your time- whether or not thats a fair or true thing to say is debatable

small celebration due to the short notice but its something! puts something together at home while you go out to pick up your desired treat

you come back to your home slightly decorated, its no party but its still something! hes even taken out some stuff and set up the means to partake in some of your favorite activities!

[bananaactivity]

JAY AND BEN REDSIGNNN

The Boyssss

I’m working on a Benjay tragic romance fic and I had to design them right quick.

I like themmmm I’m gonna do Mal and Evie next then I’ll have the core four finished. They are 21 and 22 respectively. Ben’s always the youngest in my eyes.

I’m not getting rid of the beard idc. I’m adding more scars to Jay next time I draw him because why does Chad have more scars then an isle gang member, and know that half of them are because of Harry.

They have one specific nickname for the other,

Jays is Jay Jay, and Ben is Dumbas- I mean Benji

Here’s some context for there tragic relationship:

Mal and Evie get together after the Sea VK Battle on Harry Hooks boats instead of Ben and Mal. Thus the core four minus Jay are nervous that Ben will retaliate to this by kicking them out of Auradon Uni and off Auradon as a whole. Ben meanwhile has been raised in such a way that he is absolutely terrified of being alone. Jay has just just had to grapple with the fact that he had feelings for Harry beyond a really intriguing rivalry and he can't act on that because of Harry and Umas relationship that was already a steady under current and bloomed even more during the VKs 1st year tenure at Auradon Uni. As well as dealing with all his friends slowly separating in college which is typical. So Ben and Jay are both dealing with feelings of abandonment and stress, neither of them want to think about that pain and would do anything to mask it. Jay is much better equipped to handle this enough to at least seem functional to his friends, but he's teetering on the edge. Jay ended up being the first person to speak with Ben ,who was an absolute wreck, after he stayed holed up in his very fancy prince dorm for many weeks. They already had good chemistry with one another prior and Ben comes onto Jay. It feels good to both, and it's doing what they want in regards to ignoring the bigger deeper issues at play. It's also a secret because obviously a heavily charged and unhealthy relationship like that would be heavily discouraged. Warning, this is not gonna end with a healthy relationship. Some feelings are real like they don't want to actively use and hurt each other, but the emotions at play and the rough start to the relationship DO NOT lay solid ground to foster a good long lasting relationship.

I’m also going to add one fic I wrote from Ben’s Perspective beware it’s not done:

Being a Prince was a tough job. There was so much pressure on him to be a great future king. One major aspect of that was his future spouse; his mother was always bothering him relentlessly on the topic as he grew up. “ Benjamin, Darling you must choose a good spouse, it is imperative to the people's perception of you.” his mother would often say. The constant narrative of “dont be alone” was always pressed on him so hard in fact that he couldn't bare the thought of being alone. It got so bad that that he went with the first present options of someone to court. It was stressful when he and Audrey were courting, the constant trailing during dates stressed him out as well as the media coverage analyzing their every move. Aubrey herself seemed more concerned with the respect that comes with being a queen. Nobody really liked her very much, but she was pretty and she was sweet during those first years. Unfortunately that all faded as the years went by and he felt there was no way out. He couldn't be alone. Then came Mal, she was beautiful and sweet. But she was hopelessly in love with her best friend and her best friend felt the same. It almost became this rush to him to wed her before she could leave and yet he felt so bad about it. He didn't want to be alone. But he pushed it and was alone anyway. The big ass walls in his dorm felt like a cage. What was he to do but sit in his room and cry. And he was alone, which he didn't want to be. Then Jay showed up. Jay handsome, good at Tourney, an excellent swords-man and his closest friend. Looking into his concerned brown eyes, he remembered leaping into his arms. There wasn't much conversation to be had as he was a bawling mess. All he could remember from that night was staring into those eyes for as long as he could and making a move that even he didn't expect. He kissed his best friend. And it felt good, really good. The best part of this situation was that the amazing feelings completely washed over the awful ones that led him to that very moment.Until Jay moved away, he was expressing concerns about the sudden atmosphere; yet he was into it. He had kissed him back and moved his face to kiss him again once they got over that little hurdle. The time spent felt… really nice. It was more intense than anything that had happened before for him. But maybe that was because he had thrown himself so totally into the sensations at play so that no semblance of sadness could worm their way back into his heart.

It was such a drug that they both implored to keep it up. He defended this continuous indulgence with the belief that it was allowing him to show his face on campus.Spending time suffocating in his fancy prince class: “ Kinging 101: The study of Class Disparity” waiting for the pleasant feeling of rough calloused hands pushing him into the corridor just near the lecture room. Every time he felt those hands he breathed a sigh of relief.

If you want to read more check out the pinned post on my blog which has 18 pages of my Descendants AU.

[distressxox]

since it was like a week ago but OMG ACTIVE KENGAN BLOG..i legit just got back into the fandom because i was here when it hit it's peak😭 i miss that sm ngl

BUT..can i request Kanoh Agito and characters of your choice with a reader that's around the same size and them and is of equal powerlevel/skill level..

also sidenote because i had a dream about this but how do you think characters would feel if reader that was somewhat like fang (multiple wins) didn't have a style/techniques and just..makes moves up?? LIKE IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY BECAUSE YOUR SO STRONG?? JUST FOR THEM TO FIND OUT YOU DONT EVEN HAVE A..AN ANYTHING

Omg ofcourse Anon, thank you for being my first request! Ah yes, the great Kengan boom of 2020. I'm not gonna do as many characters this time around. Anyways, let's get started!

Headcanons: Kengan Men with an 'Experienced' Fighter S/O

Kanoh Agito

• When the two of you weren't together, he felt a little threatened by you. Not afraid, but threatened. There was only so many people who made he feel that way since he was still high and mighty.

• At first when he saw you fight, he thought they were some sort of forbidden moves or secret techniques.

• After later investigation, he finds out from the other fighters that you have no background in any martial arts. It's just sheer luck, strength, and wit that you have by your side.

• Can such a person exist? You had racked up so many wins just by doing that?

• Things happened, and now the two of you are dating.

• Is still confused by the whole 'winging it' thing that you do when you fight. You're very unpredictable afterall

• Doesn't feel threatened anymore by your prowess. But would rather not spar with you, only analyze.

• Being his size means you have an advantage at A LOT of things when it comes to fighting. You've gotten an earful from Kanoh that you shouldn't take what you have for granted.

• But it's the best when he's there for you after fights or seeing him in a crowd.

Ohma Tokita

• "Hahh? You think you're all that, huh"

• You have more wins than him because he was still wasn't in any Kengan matches at the time.

• Needs to see it to believe it.

• Completely shocks him when you wipe the floor with your opponent doing nothing but fancy kicks and brute strength.

• He challenges you to a fight because that can't be all, can it?

• It can

• He couldn't see any patterns in your movement, redirect your flow of energy. Nothing. He almost uses advance, you break it up before it gets any further since you didn't want to hurt him

• You bond over sparring together. Surprisingly you two make a good match.

• Ohma and you start dating before the Kengan Annihilation tournament. You happily announce that you'll be taking part in it alongside him.

• He trusts your skills, but still doesn't want to see you get hurt.

• He's glad that he's not up against you in the tournament. He also doesn't wanna hurt you, duh.

• If people insult you or your fighting 'style' when he's near, there will be blood.

Raian Kure

• Insults your fighting style despite never seeing it for himself.

• Calls you "Just a brute with no skills, how pathetic!"

• Boy is he wrong. Once you two fight, everything catches him off guard. Just as he's turned on removal, you accidentally knock him out when your leg goes to far from a kick, kneeing him on the side of his head

• "Oopsie"

• After, an unlikely friendship forms. Which soon turns into romance.

• Always has to flex that he's won several more fights than you. But then you bring up how you beat him and he gets flustered.

• Has tried many times to replicate or copy your 'style' but it's too inconsistent besides a few moves you do regularly.

• Supportive as he can be. When he's not assassinating people, he watches your fights or spends time with you.

• "That's my (Reader) assholes! Watch and learn!"

Gaolang Wongsawat

• Didn't figure out you were a fighter until after you started dating.

• Highly critical of how you fight. Even after he started to date you he wasnt 100% supportive of it. Let's say he was 95%

• You always know how to prove him wrong though.

• Tries to teach you boxing, which goes pretty well and you end up adding some to your moveset. Though, you'll still be unpredictable in the end.

• He's well aware that you and him are pretty evenly matched when it comes to power and skill. Though he always considers you lucky that your current skillset has brought you this far.

• Is proud that you've won a lot of fights. Is not ashamed to call you his.

• Gets a little freaked out while seeing you fight sometimes.

• "Did they just...yeah they did"

• Is a worry wart.

• "You sure you're okay?" "Your knuckles are bruised, do you need some ice?" "You need to rest, lay back down"

[scarletgray]

Soukoku fic 5+1 Things

sskk if you squint

(this is my first fic ever 😭 i dont have a title for this so suggestions are welcome!)

5. Comfort

The sheep took good care of him. They taught him many things. They taught him how to read and write. They told him about different types of food. How to talk to people. How to play rock, paper, scissors and how to shoot a gun. They were the first people in his life whatever miserable way it started. The sheep would always be a part of him and he would carry them with him no matter where he went or who he was. But the most important thing they taught him, he thinks, is how to comfort someone when they're upset.

He remembers the day a stray cat Yuan had picked up and brought back died. It had upset Chuuya greatly too. But he had known it would happen. The small, dirty white kitten they couldn't take care of when they could barely take care of themselves was bound to die. He remembers yuan sobbing in the corner of their rackety hideout. She wouldn't eat for days. Chuuya was starting to panic. So he did what he does best. He went up to her and told her exactly what was on his mind.

"Hey..." he said, cringing at the sorry attempt of a soft voice.

"Hey listen I know you're upset but will you please stop crying and eat something. You'll get sick." he said, mouth twisting downwards.

Yuan had stopped crying then, looking up at him with her tear streamed face. Chuuya really wished he could take her pain away.

"Is this your way of comforting me?" she asked incredulously.

Comfort? He hadn't known what she meant. He didn't know how else to say it. He had no other way of showing his concern.

After seeing the confused look on his face she let out a little laugh. Chuuya jumped at the sound.

"You look like a puppy tilting your head like that" she smiled, still teary eyed.

Chuuya scowled at that, though secretly happy she was smiling again.

"What else was I s'posed to say?" he mumbled, kicking at the ground lightly.

Yuan smiled at him. It was a sad smile. And then Chuuya thinks that for the rest of his life, he'll never forget the look on Yuan's face and what she said next.

"You don't have to say anything." she had said.

Then she stood up and walked towards him. Gently, she started pulling his hands out of his pockets. He tensed, but let her guide his arms around her abdomen and then slowly wrapped her arms around him too.

"What are you doing?" he asked, blushing at the proximity. The touch of another human felt foreign to him, even after so many years with the sheep.

"This is called a hug." she giggled, "It's how you comfort someone when they're sad."

"Oh." he mumbled, warmth spreading through his chest. "But I'm supposed to be comforting you?"

She hugged him harder. Urging him to tighten his arms around her too. He felt as if he was floating. He looked down to see if he accidentally activated his ability but was met with the sight of yuan's feet on the ground. Huh.

"I know chuuya is sad too." She whispered quietly. "Doesn't this make you feel better?"

Chuuya was taken aback. Had he been sad the kitten had died? He thought of it now, and how adorable it had been. How the tiny mewing had all the kids laughing. How everyone had still been fighting over a name for it when it fell ill. Yes. He was sad too. He just didn't express it as strongly as Yuan did.

"Yeah. Yeah it does. I'm sorry Yuan." he said, burying his face in her pink hair. He felt a prickling sensation in his eyes. Is this how it felt to be held? Chuuya never wanted to let go.

She backed away from him first.

"Next time you want to comfort someone and you don't know what to say, hug them. It will make them feel better."

And just like that Chuuya was left with a life lesson. When someone is sad you should give them a hug.

4. Fever

Chuuya wasn't sick.

He sneezed. Again. And then three more times.

Okay maybe he was sick. How could he have let this happen? He had rarely ever gotten sick back when he was living in the streets with the sheep. He was always healthy and at the top of his game. Was the mafia making him too lazy? He rarely did stuff on his own now that he had subordinates kissing the ground he walked on. Seriously, what was up with that? Ane-san said it's because they respect him and look up to him. Dazai said it's just because he's young and an easy mark to climb ranks with. He won't believe anything that the bastard tells him, but he can't quite agree with Ane-san either. Why would anyone wanna stay by his side? He winced, all that thinking was making his head hurt.

Speaking of Ane-san, he was walking down the hallway to her office when suddenly his head started spinning and his vision blurred. He quickly jerked his hand out grabbing the wall to keep his balance. The pain doubled, it was like someone was drumming a hammer against his skull. His eyes hurt.

“Chuuya?”

Oh shit. Ane-san was standing right in front of him. When did she get here? Chuuya looked up at her, squinting. He was met with the sight of her worried face.

“Lad are you alright?” She asked, frowning.

“Uh...” Chuuya couldn't form a coherent sentence. He couldn't move his body the way he wanted to. “Um…” he mumbled, unable to say anything else.

Kouyou’s face mellowed out. She bent forward lifting his face up with one hand and tilting his hat back with the other before softly pressing her lips against his forehead.

Chuuya froze. What was she doing? He tried to take a deep breath that ended up with him inhaling her scent. She smelled sweet, like green tea and flowers. All of a sudden, he started to feel really sleepy. Chuuya felt his legs give out, just before he could eat the floor, Kouyou pulled him into her arms.

“You have a fever lad” she stated, clicking her tongue.

Fever? Oh right. He was sick.

“Sorry” he mumbled against her yukata, feeling oddly guilty for being this weak.

“Nonsense. Nothing to apologize for child,” She replied, slowly walking him towards her office.

She laid him down on the couch as soon as they entered. Chuuya closed his eyes. He could hear Kouyou moving around. The sound of clinking metal from a kettle and the click of a tea cup in a saucer slowly lulled him off to sleep…

“Lad…” said a faraway voice.

Chuuya woke up with a jolt and a hand on his shoulder gently pulling him upright. It felt like he had been asleep for eternity. He groggily opened his eyes. Ane-san was standing in front of him with a tea cup in her hand. She passed it to him.

“Drink this,” she said, patting his shoulder.

“Thank you” he mumbled. Bringing the cup to his lips and drinking the warm concoction. He had no idea what it was but it smelled soothing and immediately dulled the ache in his bones.

He continued taking small sips until he finished the drink. Kouyou took the cup out of his hands, putting it down somewhere behind her before turning back around and pressing her lips against his forehead. There. She did it again.

“You're still warm,” she hummed.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, still drowsy and confused. Why did she keep giving him forehead kisses?

Kouyou gave him a small smile.

“I'm checking your temperature, don't you know this is the best way to check?”

No. Chuuya did not know. He thought everyone checked it with their hand? He frowned, he still didn't know a lot of things huh.

He heard a laugh. He looked up, baffled. Did Ane-san just laugh?

Kouyou was hiding her face behind her fan but Chuuya could see the mirth in her eyes.

“You are so cute.” She said, pinching his cheek.

“What was that for?” Chuuya squawked, embarrassment making his cheeks heat up.

“Nothing nothing” she tutted, patting his shoulder again. “Go home lad, and get some rest.”

“But-”

“No buts. Go home, that's an order. And don't come back until your fever is gone. I'll be coming in to check every day.”

“You don't have to do that” he muttered, “Okay okay fine I'll rest,” he said childishly. He wasn't used to taking breaks.

He thanked Ane-san again, grabbing his hat from the couch and turning to leave. Being sick was so troublesome. But at least he got something good out of it.

Now he knows how to check someone for a fever.

3. Kiss it better

Dazai was having a bad day.

Which wasn't unusual. But today was an exceptionally bad day. He had been forced to go on another annoying mission by Mori-san that resulted in him getting stabbed in his side. It hurt. Dazai hated pain.

He sighed, wincing when the movement hurt his side even more. What else did he expect from useless subordinates who never carry his plans out correctly. It was times like this that he missed Chuuya. He never gets as much as a scratch when he has Chuuya guarding him like the protective dog that he is. Dazai started grinning to himself. Maybe he'll go check on Chuuya today. And annoy him so much he'll start his high pitched squeaking that's supposed to sound threatening. Ah yes, that'll distract him from the excruciating pain he was pretending to ignore.

Dazai started daydreaming about what kind of insults he'll use on the slug today, imagining Chuuya’s reaction to every single one. He zoned out a little too much and bumped into something tiny.

“Chuuya!!” he beamed, looking down knowing who it was immediately. There was only one person in the world who was so small.

Chuuya's unimpressed face was staring back at him.

“Watch where you're going bastard,” Chuuya snarled, sidestepping him and heading towards wherever he was trying to go. Now that just won't do, Dazai thought to himself.

“Apologies, I didn't see you there, you see I don't have a microscope with me, my mistake!” Dazai said cheekily and waited.

“What the fuck did you just say?!?!” Chuuya screeched, turning around and grabbing his collar. “I'm not that small shithead!”

There it was. Dazai started giggling. Chuuya's reaction never failed to amuse him.

“It's not my fault Chuuya is so tiny I can't see him,” Dazai jeered.

“Shut the fuck up I don't have time for this” Chuuya shoved him, hard.

Dazai doubled over wheezing. Okay maybe making the chibi angry wasn't such a good idea. Chuuya had pushed him exactly where he had gotten stabbed. Which, by the way, really, really, hurt. He could feel the blood starting to soak his bandages. Ugh he'd just wrapped them up too.

“Oi Dazai?” Chuuya's worried voice pulled him out of his internal grumbling.

Dazai peered up at him. Chuuya's worried face was really cute. Yes that's right. Dazai Osamu thought The Gravity Manipulator, Most Dangerous Ability User, and former King of the Sheep Nakahara Chuuya was very, very cute.

Dazai had long accepted the fact that he liked Chuuya. From the moment he saw him, buried in rubble, and a boot planted on his chest. He had felt something in his hollow heart. Chuuya made him feel human. Made whatever small, cold heart of his burn with affection. Dazai could not escape it, nor did he want to. He let it consume him, he drowned in it. Being with Chuuya was like being on fire. He'd never admit it of course, but he was sure it was quite obvious. However, the mafia was no place for love. So he'd keep those feelings to himself. Besides, if he'd had to take a guess, from the look on Chuuya's face right now, he'd say the slug might have a thing or two for him too.

“Shit you're bleeding.” said Chuuya, grabbing him and pulling him close. “Why the fuck didn't you say anything idiot”

“I didn't think Chuuya would hit me,” he whined.

“You asked for it, asshole” Chuuya grumbled.

“Chuuya's mean” Dazai pouted, “I'm bleeding because of Chuuya and he's bullying me”

“You're the bully” he retorted, and then without warning, lifted Dazai into his arms bridal style.

“Wha- What are you doing!? Stupid slug put me down!” Dazai yelped. He could feel his cheeks warming up. Stupid chibikko, how dare he manhandle dazai when he's so much bigger than him!

“I will,” Chuuya nodded, “In the infirmary.”

“Hatrack” he taunted, putting his arms around Chuuya's neck in a futile attempt to strangle him. Chuuya kept walking infuriatingly unaffected.

“Mackerel”

“Petite Mafia”

“Waste of bandages”

“Double black small”

“LAY OFF OF MY SIZE JACKASS I'M 17 I'M STILL GROWING!!”

“That's what Chuuya said when we were 15 and yet you didn't grow an inch.”

“I did and you know it!”

Their banter was cut short when they arrived at the infirmary. Chuuya unceremoniously dropping him on one of the beds.

“Ouch! Chuuya's such a brute!” Dazai complained.

“Hold still shitty Dazai,” Chuuya responded.

Chuuya started pulling his coat back and lifting his shirt, inspecting the blood soaked bandages.

“I'm taking these off.” he said and then looked at Dazai as if waiting for his permission. Ah, his dog really was so cute.

Dazai didn't say anything, leaning back on his arms, giving Chuuya the space to unwind the bandages. Chuuya nodded in silent understanding, and softly began to unwrap the blood stained strips, careful not to agitate the wound. Dazai knew he felt guilty for opening the wound, and took it as his responsibility to patch it up again. That's just who Chuuya was. A boy with a heart too big for his tiny body. It was one of things he loved about him.

Chuuya worked in silence. With full focus, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. Dazai watched him working so seriously, wrapping the bandages like his life depended on it, and he couldn't help a little chuckle that escaped him.

“The fuck are you laughing about” Chuuya grunted.

“Nothing.” said Dazai tilting his head to the side with a smile as he started humming a tune and kicking his feet, feeling content.

Chuuya raised a brow. “Do you have a fever?” he asked, then out of the blue, pressed his lips against Dazai's forehead.

What. the. hell.

Dazai shrieked. Why was Chuuya suddenly kissing him!?!? Chuuya's lips were soft and warm against his skin. The touch burning his entire face. He could feel the blood rushing up to his head. He started feeling faint. Oh maybe that was the blood loss.

“What are you doing?!?” Dazai squeaked.

Chuuya looked at him confused, “Checking your temperature obviously? You're burning up dumbass.”

“And that's how you check!?”

“Duh. Ane-san told me it's the best way.” Chuuya stated like it was common sense.

“And you believed her?”

“Yes…?” Chuuya said slowly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world .

Now because Dazai is a genius it took him only 3 seconds to figure out what was going on. Then he grinned maniacally.

“I see,” he said, “Chuuya's really stupid.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean!?” Chuuya growled, then suddenly started smiling, “What you didn't know that huh? I wouldn't expect you to.” he stated smugly.

“Yes yes I didn't,” Dazai said. Chuuya started pulling away from him. Yeah no, Dazai just could not let this opportunity go to waste.

“Wait, where are you going? Aren't you gonna kiss it better?” he cooed, innocently.

“What the fuck are you on about now”

Dazai was trying to hold it in, he really was.

“Doesn't Chuuya know you're supposed to kiss it better?” He said, “It hurts and it's Chuuya's fault!”

“What kinda fucking rule is that?” Chuuya asked incredulously.

“Of course Chuuya doesn't know,” he sighed dramatically, “When your partner gets hurt you're supposed to kiss them better.”

“No?” Chuuya didn't know anything about this!

“I understand,” he nodded, trying not to laugh out loud, “It's only natural Chuuya doesn't know about this after all he's just a teeny tiny dog with an even tinier brain-”

He was cut off as Chuuya swooped down and kissed his cheek soundly, exhaling softly against his face before pulling back.

Dazai exe. has stopped working.

Chuuya was staring at him, cheeks furiously red and frowning cutely. “Like that?”

Dazai couldn't take it anymore. He burst out laughing, doubling over, giggles racking his frame. Tears started gathering in the corner of his eyes.

“The- The wound! N-Not my face!” he wheezed between the laughter.

He didn't think Chuuya could blush any harder but he was proven wrong as Chuuya's entire face turned red. Chuuya started shaking with anger or embarrassment he couldn't tell but it was a sight to see.

“You lying piece of shit!!” Chuuya screamed and started shaking him back and forth while trying to strangle him.

“Wait! Wait! I wasn't lying,” Dazai said, wiping the corner of his eyes, “It's the truth, it doesn't hurt anymore,” And it was the truth. The wound didn't hurt one bit. He felt no pain at all. His insides were all giddy. Chuuya really was the best medicine.

“Whatever, fuck you Dazai,” Chuuya huffed, “Now go home and heal properly and stay the fuck out of my way.”

“Chibi wait,”

“Fucking what.”

“You know you're not supposed to do this with anyone else right? Only your partner.” Dazai had to make sure Chuuya wouldn't go around kissing everyone's wounds better. He wouldn't put it past him. He couldn't believe how gullible the slug was!

“I know that!” Chuuya yelled, slamming the door on the way out.

Dazai sat there for a long time, daydreaming about all the ways he could get hurt in missions and all the kisses that would be his reward.

2. Hold hands

Chuuya knocked on the double doors two times before letting himself in the boss's office. He barely set a foot in before placing a hand on his hat and ducking to dodge the flying shoe that whizzed past his head.

“Stupid Rintarou, I hate you!”

Chuuya sighed. Today was going to be a long day.

“Boss, I'm here.” Chuuya spoke, his voice getting ignored.

“You always do this! I said I wanna go eat sweets. I don't want to go shopping for stupid clothes!” Elise cried, flapping her arms around.

“But Elise-chan, just one store please, I promise we'll go for sweets after~” Mori whined pathetically. Chuuya coughed, loudly.

“Oh Chuuya-kun you're here,” Mori said, immediately reverting to a serious demeanor.

“Yes boss.”

“Chuuya!” Elise noticed him now as well. “I'll just go with him.”

Oh no.

“But Elise-chan I called Chuuya here today for an important job.”

“I don't care, I want to go with Chuuya now!” She declared.

“But-”

“Shut up Rintarou! I'm going with Chuuya,” She turned towards him pleading, “You'll take me won't you Chuuya?”

“Ummm” He looked at the boss, who seemed conflicted. Mori glanced at Elise from the corner of his eye. She stuck her tongue out at him. Eventually Mori sighed and reclined against his chair.

“I guess it can't be helped,” he said, “Please take care of her for the day Chuuya-kun.”

Chuuya sighed internally. “As you wish,” he answered, bowing down.

“Yay!!” Elise cheered, running up to his side, “Let's go” she demanded, grabbing his coat and pulling him towards the doors.

___________

The sky was clear, a gentle breeze swaying through Yokohama city. Well, at least it was a nice day out, Chuuya thought to himself. Elise was skipping beside him, arms swinging and humming a melody to herself.

They were walking towards the shop Elise wanted to try out when they saw a huge crowd in the way. Chuuya paused. Even though he had forgone his hat and cloak, he could still be recognized. If an enemy identified them there'd be trouble. He turned towards Elise.

“Alright stay close, let's be careful just in case.”

Elise simply held her hand out to him.

“What?” he said

She rolled her eyes, “Hold my hand, you're always supposed to hold hands when going through a crowd.”

He didn't know that. Damn it! He still had a lot to learn.

“Of course,” he said, taking her hand and pushing through the crowd. As he was walking he noticed two girls, hands clasped together and they made their way through. Chuuya had thought it was just for kids but apparently not. There were two other friends, one holding on to the sleeve of the other. It made sense to hold hands so they wouldn't lose each other. It was safer too.

He spent the entire day buying sweets for Elise. He could have sworn they went to every dessert store in the city. It ended up being a relaxing but tiring day for him. When he fell into his bed that evening he thought of all the people that he saw holding hands today. When he learned something new he always noticed it everywhere around him.

You're supposed to hold hands in crowded areas huh.

1. Your one and only

Chuuya wanted to go home.

He'd been gone for too long. He'd been sent abroad for a mission direct orders from the boss. He didn't think it would take that long but he'd been here for months. Waking up in France with a beautiful view outside his window was nice enough but he missed Yokohama. He missed Ane-san. Heck he even missed that shitty Dazai. And that was saying something. He couldn't stop the longing he felt increase with every passing day. He missed home.

He was looking forward to going back. Any day now, he'd get a call from the boss telling him to return. Suddenly someone slammed the door of his hotel room open. A subordinate stood there panting. “Chuuya-san! We've received orders to return to Yokohama immediately!”

Chuuya frowned, feeling uneasy. Why didn't the Boss or Ane-san call him? Immediately? Not that he wasn't happy to return; it just felt so sudden.

“Get the plane ready, we'll leave in 3 hours.”

“Yes sir” he bowed before running back out.

Chuuya sat back down on the chair and looked out the window. He'd better start packing. He couldn't shake the feeling of something wrong but at the same time he felt relieved. He was finally going back home.

___________

Chuuya landed in Yokohama at 1:45 A.M. He walked out of the airport slowly. He had been tense the whole flight. He took a deep breath. The air smelt like the sea and city dust. He allowed himself to relax a little.

He started thinking about what he'd want to do first. He could sleep for 2 days straight. Except he wouldn't even get 8 hours of rest before Dazai would barge into his apartment to raid his fridge and start whining about how annoying Akutagawa is. He snorted at the thought. Even after all his complaints and harsh words Chuuya knew he was fond of the kid. He frowned as his thoughts took a dark turn. What if that Bastard messed up his wine collection?!? Or put slime in all of his jacket pockets?! He shuddered, fearing for his wardrobe. He wanted to go to his apartment immediately.

His thoughts were interrupted by a beep and a buzzing sensation in his pocket. He pulled out his phone to see an incoming call from an unknown number. Weird. He answered the call, bringing it up to his ear.

“Hello?”

There was no answer. He could hear someone breathing on the other side. He waited.

“Oi,'' he tried again. Still nothing. Damn scam callers. Just as he was about to end the call he heard a faint whisper.

“Chuuya.”

Chuuya pressed the phone back to his ear recognizing the voice instantly, “Dazai? Why didn't you answer shithead?”

“Chuuya,” Dazai repeated softly. Why did he sound like that?

“Oi what's wrong?” Chuuya frowned. He was starting to get worried. Dazai sounded so tired.

“Does Chuuya know you only have one partner for the rest of your life?” Dazai said suddenly.

What? Where did that come from? No whiny annoying greetings? No wailing about how he hoped the plane crashed on the way here? Did Dazai even know he was back? “What do you mean shitty Dazai?”

“Like Verlaine and Randou-san,” Dazai clarified, as if that made this bizarre conversation make any more sense, “Even after they betrayed each other and thought the other died, they still call themselves partners.”

That was true. Even now that Randou-san was gone, Aniki still always spoke so fondly about him. Chuuya saw the look on Verlaine's face when he talked about him, and he could see how miserably he missed his partner. And he had remembered the way Randou-san had fought valiantly against him. He knew they had something special between them. Something not even death could take away.

“Yeah so? What of it?”

“Chuuya will be mine forever right?”

Now Chuuya was really started to freak out. He tried to tell himself it meant nothing, and that this was just another one of Dazai's shenanigans.

“What did I do to deserve such a shitty partner for life?” he sighed teasingly.

He heard Dazai suck in a breath as if he'd taken a punch to the gut. Then he heard a small laugh alongside, “Too bad, Chuuya's stuck with me forever.”

“Curse my luck,” he clicked his tongue, but the worry was starting to build up and he started flexing his hands in his gloves trying to calm down. Before he could ask what the fuck was going on Dazai's voice crackled through the phone.

“Goodbye Chuuya.” Dazai breathed.

Goodbye? Why did Dazai sound like he was dying? Why wasn't anyone telling Chuuya anything?!?

“Wait-”

The phone started beeping signaling the call had ended. Chuuya felt frustration take a hold of him. He smashed the buttons of his phone calling back on the number.

“The number you have dialed does not exist please try again later.” the machine replied automatically.

“Fuck!” Chuuya was about to try again when he received a message that made the blood freeze in his veins.

Dazai Osamu has turned traitor to the Port Mafia

He shook his head. No it couldn't be. He was just talking with the bastard for heaven's sake! He needed answers. He left his luggage right there as he activated his ability and shot towards Port Mafia Headquarters in a blur of black and red. He landed with a crash outside within seconds. A few guards stationed outside jumped before they recognized him and opened the doors.

Chuuya took the elevator up to the top floor. He didn't knock. He slammed the doors open and entered to the sight of Mori and Kouyou conversing quietly.

“What the hell is going on?” he asked as calmly as he could.

Kouyou replied, “Dazai has been missing for 2 weeks. We've ascertained that he has betrayed the Port Mafia.”

“Dazai?” Chuuya raised a brow. “Dazai Osamu youngest Port Mafia executive? That's hilarious.”

Kouyou shook her head, “It's true.”

Mori turned his eerie gaze towards him, “Chuuya-kun you know Dazai-kun best, you are his partner after all, do you have any idea where he could be hiding?”

Chuuya thought of the stupid suicidal bastard. Idiot enough to betray the Port Mafia. Yes he knew where he was. Chuuya always did. Like the Boss said, he was his partner.

“Chuuya will be mine forever right?” Stupid fucking asshole. Chuuya would kill him the next time he saw him.

“No Boss,” he replied. Then laughed “So that bastard left huh? Good riddance.” he turned to leave. “If you'll excuse me boss I'm a little tired from running here like a dog and I left my stuff at the airport, I'd like to go home with your permission.”

“Of course, of course take the day off tomorrow too, oh and Chuuya-kun?”

He looked back, “Yes?”

“Kouyou here tried to call you as soon as you landed but your number was busy.” Mori said accusingly, gaze so sharp Chuuya felt it could cut him.

“Scam.” Chuuya said without a thought. Mori looked like he didn't believe him. Chuuya held his gaze.

“Alright, you're free to go,” Mori said, still staring at Chuuya as if he could taste the lie.

He bent his head respectfully, leaving the room.

___________

Chuuya reached home at around 3 am, dropping his luggage on the floor and face planting on the couch. He was exhausted, yet he couldn't bring himself to sleep. He sighed, getting up and grabbing his keys as he left the building, heading towards the parking lot. His mind was reeling with a million questions. Why did Dazai leave? Exactly what had happened while Chuuya was gone? A late drive would calm him down.

Chuuya hit the unlock button on his key when his car exploded with a flash and an ear cracking boom, the force making his body fly backwards. He immediately used his ability to land safely, but let himself fall down as soon as his feet hit the ground.

Fuck it he should've stayed in France.

+1

Atsushi sat in his chair patiently waiting for the Port Mafia representative to show up. After fighting together to save Yokohama for years, the relationship between the Port Mafia and the Agency were never better. What had started with a simple truce had turned into a trusting partnership with members often coming together for joint missions. He didn't know who was coming in today. He hoped it wasn't Akutagawa.

Someone knocked on the door and Atsushi jumped up, opening the door at once. Chuuya was standing on the other side.

“Ah good morning Chuuya-san,” he said.

Chuuya lifted a brow, smirking he said, “You sound disappointed. Were you expecting someone else?”

“No!” Atsushi yelped, blushing. Really? Was it that obvious? “I wasn't expecting Akutagawa!” Atsushi defended himself.

“I never said who.”

“Oh.” Atsushi wanted to crawl into a hole.

Chuuya chuckled, “Don't worry kid, I think he wanted to be here too. He told me to say hi or I think it went something like “I'll kill you next time fool” I can't be too sure.”

“Chuuya!” Dazai yelled excitedly from somewhere behind him.

Atsushi saw Chuuya’s face turn to a look of disgust faster than anything. It was incredible really. Dazai pulled up to his side smiling mischievously.

“Why hello there chibi I almost didn't see you,” Oh dear, here we go again. “Say, did the slug get smaller?” Dazai cooed sweetly.

A vein twitched on Chuuya's forehead.

“I'm not in the mood for your games today asshole.” Chuuya sneered, shoving past him to hand some papers to Kunikida, nodding in greeting.

Dazai pouted, “Chibi is no fun.”

Atsushi shook his head fondly, silently glad that Chuuya-san decided to act like the bigger person today and not smash a chair over Dazai-san's head. That would've disturbed Kyouka-chan. Atsushi frowned, eyes going to where she was resting on the couch. She had come in with him today despite feeling sluggish. Atsushi felt ashamed for not having realized she was sick. Yosano had given her a pill and banned her to the couch. Chuuya seemed to have noticed her there as he walked towards her.

“What’s wrong Kyouka-chan?” he inquired, gently patting her head.

Kyouka slowly opened her eyes, “Chuuya-nii?” she mumbled.

“She's sick,” Dazai answered for her, walking towards them, “Little Kyouka-chan doesn't know when to rest hmm? Just like a certain chibi.”

“Fuck off,” Chuuya muttered and then bent down, softly pushing her bangs out of the way and pressing his mouth to her forehead. Atsushi's jaw dropped while Kyouka just leaned forward, completely unaffected.

He couldn't help himself, “Chuuya-san! what are you doing??” he whisper screamed.

Chuuya looked at him unimpressed, “Checking her for a fever obviously,” he deadpanned “She's alright thankfully.”

“That's right Atsushi-kun don't you know that's the best way to check?” Dazai-san added, smiling impishly.

It's really not. Atsushi wanted to counter but when he saw the devilish sparkle in Dazai-san’s eyes, he told himself not to question it.

Chuuya gave Kyouka a brotherly headbutt before walking towards Atsushi. “Guess it's just you and me then huh.” he said.

Right. Since Atsushi and Kyouka were the ones assigned to the mission today. It would be Atsushi's first time on a mission alone with Chuuya. He was kind of nervous. Dazai-san, perceptive as ever, noticed this.

“I can come along,” Dazai offered cheerfully.

“Absolutely the fuck not,” Chuuya replied with zero hesitation, “The kid and I can handle it we don't need your useless ass getting in the way.”

“But Kyouka-chan was supposed to go with you, it's a three person mission!” Dazai whined.

“Combat abilities are required and you're a weak piece of shit,” Chuuya stated mercilessly “Face it mackerel we're better off without you.”

“Not true and you know it, my strategies will make it easier to finish the job.”

Chuuya couldn't argue with that. He settled for glaring at him instead. Atsushi watched Dazai stare Chuuya down with a smug smirk. Atsushi knew that they were known as the most fearsome duo in all of Japan. He could imagine Akutagawa ranting about how lucky he was to go on a mission with The Double Black.

Chuuya sighed. He looked like he was about to give in when Kenji walked in the room.

“Oh hello Chuuya-san!”

At the sound of Kenji's voice, Chuuya visibly brightened up, turning away from Dazai.

“Hey kid.” he smiled going over to greet Kenji. The mafioso clearly had a favorite here at the agency. Well, Kenji was everyone's favorite.

“What were you guys talking about?” Kenji asked.

Chuuya sighed, pointing towards Dazai “This idiot wants to go with us on the mission instead of Kyouka-chan.”

“Chibi is the idiot,” Dazai sniffed.

“Ah that mission” Kenji nodded.

Recently a group of strong ability users started terrorizing Yokohama. Atsushi thought it was a dumb move since the city was under both the Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency's protection. No one stood a chance. Yet they were doing some significant damage and were able to take down some of the Mafia members. Hence, the decision to send the higher ups on a joint mission.

“I think it's alright since Kyouka-chan was supposed to go with you guys,” Kenji piped up, “Besides Dazai-san is actually super smart so he'll be helpful!”

“How right you are Kenji-kun!” Dazai beamed shoving Chuuya aside to pat him on the head, “Finally someone who appreciates me.” Dazai shook his head in mock despair.

“Fucking fine whatever lets go,” Chuuya said, sending a glare in Dazai's direction, “And if you get it the way I'm gonna kill you.”

“Please,” Dazai scoffed, “It's going to be a piece of cake.”

___________

It was a disaster.

“I'm going to fucking kill you.” Chuuya hissed, while pressing down on the gaping wound on Dazai's stomach.

Meanwhile, Atsushi was trying not to have a panic attack. Dazai-san had taken a bad hit. He takes it back. These people were not foolish. They were insanely strong. A dozen ability users, two of them with long range attacks through inanimate objects somewhat like Chuuya's ability, and Dazai was unable to nullify the attack. A huge shard of metal struck him straight in the gut while Chuuya had been too busy guarding their backs. Atsushi hated himself at that moment. He should've been fast enough to stop it. He should've protected Dazai. All that training just for-

Dazai let out a small giggle, making Atsushi's mind go blank.

“Are you fucking laughing right now?” Chuuya asked furiously, “Is this fucking funny?”

“It's kind of funny,” Dazai coughed wetly, blood spilling from his lips. A series of gunshots started hitting the pillar they had taken cover behind. Chuuya let out a string of curse words.

“Chuuya I have to tell you something before I die.” Dazai wheezed out.

“Shut the fuck up.” Chuuya replied with a voice as calm as a raging storm.

“Don't die Dazai-san!” Atsushi cried. He was so close to bawling. He couldn't fathom Dazai-san just dying like this.

“He's not dying you idiot,” Chuuya slapped the back of his head.

“Don't be mean to Atsushi-kun!” Dazai coughed out with another spurt of blood.

“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

Atsushi started feeling hysterical. What the fuck was going on here.

“Kid!” Chuuya yelled, pulling Atsushi out of his mind, tugging him with one hand with the rest of his body still protectively curled over Dazai, “Fucking focus!”

“I'm sor-”

“Fuck that, hold on to this waste of bandages,” Chuuya cut off with a curse as another bang sounded behind them, shaking the ground, “I'm going to kill every single one of those fuckers.” Chuuya whispered darkly.

Dazai let out another wheeze. It sounded a lot like the word “hot” but Atsushi is going to ignore that.

Chuuya cradled Dazai in his arms before passing him to Atsushi, “Hurts,” Dazai let out in a small voice.

For a second Chuuya's eyes softened and his face turned so loving Atsushi wanted to close his eyes. Then Chuuya bent down close to Dazai's face, rubbing their foreheads together before whispering, ever so sweetly, “If you die, I'm going to gut you like a fish.” Then he let go of Dazai and stepped out behind the pillar, glowing red with his ability.

Atsushi broke out in cold sweat as he heard bones crunching, and violent screams coming from the enemies that got to experience the rage of Nakahara Chuuya.

Dazai sighed lovingly in Atsushi's arms.

Atsushi never wanted to work with them again.

___________

The next day, Atsushi was back at the Agency glad that the fiasco was over. It turns out they didn't really need Atsushi or Dazai. They didn't need anyone actually. Chuuya was enough to absolutely demolish any enemy that dared to threaten the peace in Yokohama.

He walked towards Yosano’s office, wanting to check in on Dazai. He had taken a fatal blow but thanks to Chuuya completely obliterating the enemy in seconds, they'd made it safely back in time for Dazai to get treated. As he got closer to the door he heard yelling. Oh right. Chuuya had not left Dazai's side since then. It was the next day though. Does that mean he'd slept over? Atsushi once again decided not to think about this. He knocked on the door twice before stepping in.

“Umm,” Atsushi tried, “I brought some medicine.”

“Ouch! Ouch! Chuuya it hurts!!”

“It wouldn't hurt if you stopped trying to move you stupid shit!”

“Chuuya's being mean!”

“Chuuya will fucking kill you if you don't shut up and lay back down!”

Dazai pouted. Watering his eyes and batting his impossibly long lashes, he turned his big doe eyes towards Chuuya, making that dreaded, kicked puppy face.

“Chuu it hurts a lot.” Dazai whimpered, “Kiss it better?”

Atsushi winced waiting for the inevitable outcry of “Shut the fuck up that's fucking disgusting!” coupled with a slap that would surely end Dazai-san's life for good this time but what happened next was something he could'nt have conjured up even in his most wildest dreams.

Chuuya sighed, exasperated. “Fucking baby,” he mumbled.

And then, he tucked Dazai's hair behind one ear, pressed his gloved hand to his cheek and pulled him forward so lovingly Atsushi's eyes hurt from watching. He tried to look away, but stood there frozen as Chuuya kissed Dazai's cheek, staying against it for a few seconds with his eyes closed and then nuzzling against his face before pulling away.

“There are you fucking happy?”

The sound of glass shattering made Chuuya and Dazai whip their heads to see Atsushi standing at the door with his mouth agape and the medicine bottle cracked into splinters on the floor.

Atsushi met his mentor's eyes only to have his mind completely blue screen at the flushed and giddy look on his face. He'd never seen Dazai look so, well, alive before. They stared at each other before Chuuya broke the silence.

“What the fuck kid, you wasted the medicine!”

“You!” Atsushi couldn't ignore this any longer, “You- You just kissed Dazai-san!”

Chuuya looked annoyed, “He was in pain, dumbass.”

“SO YOU KISSED HIM?!?!”

“What the fuck are you so spooked about?” Chuuya said, raising his brows.

“THAT'S NOT NORMAL!”

“Yes it is.” Dazai interrupted, "Atsushi-kun don't you know you're supposed to kiss wounds better?”

“HE DIDN'T EVEN KISS THE WOUND?!?!”

“Shut up both of you.” Chuuya snapped.

“Are you guys dating?!?!” Atsushi screamed.

“NO” they both yelled in unison.

Atsushi eyed them suspiciously. Yeah there was definitely something going on. He watched Dazai pull on a long strand of Chuuya's hair to bring his attention back to himself. Chuuya slapped it away. Dazai pouted and held his hand to his chest mournfully. Chuuya grabbed said hand and kissed the back of it. Rubbing the red stinging mark he'd inflicted himself with his thumb. Dazai giggled.

On second thought, he didn't want anything to do with this.

“Okay uh.. I'll take my leave then! Goodbye Dazai-san, get well soon!” Atsushi rushed out before running out the room and slamming the door shut.

Dazai hummed amusingly. He moved his hand to slip his ring finger inside Chuuya's glove.

“Chuuya, we've been partners for 7 years and you know what they say after having spent so much time together you have to get married.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, it's only natural.”

Chuuya looked at him, unimpressed. “You really think I'm that gullible, you stupid mackerel?”

“You have no idea,” Dazai muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

Chuuya sighed dramatically, shaking his head. Seriously, with the way the chibi acted you would think he was 80 years old. Dazai started thinking of other ways he could convince Chuuya to be his dog forever. If he could trick him into signing those marriage papers nothing could come between them! Maybe he should just forge Chuuya's signature…

“Stop thinking of stupid shit!” Chuuya slapped the back of his head.

“Chuuya doesn't know me well at all, I was thinking of something very serious!”

“No you weren't, that's not your serious thinking face,” Chuuya stated plainly, as if it didn't just make Dazai's heart skip a beat. How dare Chuuya say the most romantic things so nonchalantly! Dazai wanted to swoon. Gross.

“Chibikkooooo, you have to!” he whined.

Chuuya let out an annoyed breath, and Dazai knew he'd won, “Fine, you stupid waste of bandages, I suppose if we have to.”

Dazai internally cheered. Outwardly, he put the papers in front of Chuuya. “Sign here.”

“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE THESE?”

“Stupid chibi, I'm always prepared.”

Chuuya looked at him. The man who destroys his apartment for shits and giggles, makes fun of his hats, hates dogs (seriously, what a monster) and makes his life actual hell. The same man who saved him from the sheep when they turned against him, and gave him a home when he had nowhere else to go. Who acts like he's heartless but cares so much more than anyone could imagine. Someone who's so smart yet dumb enough to think Chuuya actually falls for his stupid lies. The ridiculous man who just pulled marriage papers out of his ass the second his proposal was a success.

Chuuya had half a mind to tell the mackerel he wasn't 15 anymore, that he knew what he was up to but one look at those stupid, big, beautiful brown eyes, sparkling with joy at having thought he tricked him, he decided to play along. Oh how he'd burn the world for this idiot.

And so, Chuuya signs the papers. And wears a ring under his gloves where no one can see it. And lets a mackerel live in his house and dump his precious wine down the sink. He really is the most gullible person on earth.

[never-was-has-been]

Volodymyr Vlad Kunko February 23rd 1:57am 2025 "

I’m calling it as it is. I dont care whether you agree with me or not, just check your response with your gut. My gut never lies to me.

I’ve had my suspicions all along about this stooge. He’s not intelligent enough to pull this off by himself. We better hope that all the social security numbers and tax info that Muskrat just uploaded from SSA and IRS from every single american citizens account, doesn’t end up in Putin’s files. Whoever has that info can potentially wipe out every dime we have and can potentially fund a world takeover:

There is something rancid in America, a slow, creeping rot that smells like cold McDonald’s fries, aerosol hairspray, and the unmistakable musk of a country too sedated to recognize its own hostage situation. For years, the idea that Donald Trump was compromised by Russia was dismissed as paranoid fantasy—just another wild-eyed conspiracy theory, another overblown headline in the endless saga of American political dysfunction.

But now, two former Soviet intelligence officers—Alnur Mussayev and Yuri Shvets—are saying it outright: Trump was recruited by the KGB in 1987, groomed as an asset, and remains under Russian control to this day.

And the worst part? He’s already back in the White House.

That’s right, America. You did it. You walked face-first into the banana peel of history, slipped, and fell straight into the arms of Vladimir Putin. Trump was kicked out in 2020, spent four years plotting his comeback, and now he’s returned, like a bloated, orange cockroach that just won’t die. The Kremlin’s favorite stooge is running the country again, and this time, he knows exactly how to stay in power.

If you think this is just another round of the Trump Show, you’re not paying attention. This isn’t politics anymore. This is treason. This is foreign subversion. This is a goddamn coup in slow motion.

Let’s break it down, nice and simple.

Alnur Mussayev isn’t some Twitter conspiracy theorist with a tinfoil hat and a podcast. He’s the former head of Kazakhstan’s National Security Committee, which means he knows exactly how Russian intelligence works—because he was part of the system. And what he’s saying should make every American’s blood run cold.

According to Mussayev, Trump was identified, recruited, and compromised by the KGB in 1987 during his first trip to Moscow. They saw him for what he was: a narcissistic, greedy, attention-starved buffoon who could be easily manipulated. The KGB flattered him, promised him business deals, and planted the seeds of political ambition in his empty little head. And from that moment on, he was their man.

But Mussayev isn’t alone. Former KGB major Yuri Shvets said the exact same thing in 2021: Trump was cultivated by Soviet intelligence because he was an easy mark—too stupid to realize he was being played, too egotistical to care. They saw him as a useful idiot—a man who could one day be nudged into power, a walking, talking Trojan Horse for Russian interests.

And now? The plan has worked. Trump spent four years in office weakening America from within, got booted out, and now he’s back for round two.

If you had told the American public in 1962 that a Soviet-backed asset would one day sit in the White House, they would have burned Washington to the ground before letting it happen. But today? Nobody seems to care.

The media treats this like just another wacky subplot in the never-ending Trump reality show. Congress is too busy fighting over meaningless culture war nonsense to do anything about it. And the American public? Exhausted. Numb. Checked out. Years of scandals—Russia collusion, Ukraine blackmail, classified documents, tax fraud, sexual assault, an attempted coup—have fried the country’s brain like an overcooked steak at Mar-a-Lago.

Trump has done the impossible. He has committed so many crimes, so openly, so brazenly, that none of them matter anymore.

And now, with Mussayev’s revelation that Trump is an active foreign asset, we have finally reached the point where the biggest political scandal in American history is met with a collective shrug.

This is how democracy dies—not with a bang, but with a goddamn eye-roll.

This is the part where the skeptics start clutching their pearls. “Oh, come on,” they say. “If Trump were really a Russian asset, wouldn’t there be more proof?”

To which I say: Are you blind, or just willfully stupid?

Let’s go through the evidence, shall we?

Trump spent his entire first term doing exactly what Russia wanted. He attacked NATO, calling it “obsolete” and threatening to pull the U.S. out. He tried to blackmail Ukraine into manufacturing dirt on Joe Biden, because weakening Ukraine helps one man and one man only: Vladimir Putin. He pulled U.S. troops out of Syria, handing power over to Russian forces. He picked fights with Canada and Europe while cozying up to dictators.

Even now, in his second term, he is more openly pro-Putin than ever. He has made it clear that he will not protect NATO allies from Russian aggression. He is actively dismantling America’s alliances, just as Russia planned. And while Americans scream at each other over whether Target should sell rainbow t-shirts, Trump is quietly selling the country to the Kremlin.

At some point, you have to stop calling it a coincidence and start calling it what it is: treason.

The United States is running out of time. If Trump serves out this term without being removed, America as a functioning democracy is finished.

The media needs to wake up. Enough with the “Trump fatigue” excuse. This is not just another scandal—this is the single greatest infiltration of American power in history. Journalists need to dig into Mussayev’s claims, demand declassification of intelligence files, and treat this like the national emergency that it is.

Congress needs to subpoena Mussayev immediately. His testimony must be public, and every document he has should be reviewed. If there is proof that Trump has been compromised since the 1980s, the American people need to know.

The Justice Department needs to stop pretending that Trump is just another politician. If there is evidence that the sitting president of the United States is working in Russia’s interests, he must be removed from office and prosecuted for espionage.

And the American public? You have one last chance. This is not about Republican vs. Democrat. This is not about taxes, gas prices, or whatever nonsense outrage is dominating the news today. This is about whether the United States remains a sovereign nation, or if we spend the rest of the century as a Russian client state with a golf course.

The sheer volume of Trump's corruption, the blatant nature of his crimes, the mountain of evidence that should have ended his political career a hundred times over—none of it mattered. He survived it all, not because he was innocent, but because he drowned the country in so much scandal that nothing stuck.

But this time, it’s different. If Mussayev and Shvets are right, this isn’t just another chapter in the endless Trump circus. This is the culmination of a decades-long Russian intelligence operation to install an asset in the White House.

There is no coming back from this. If America lets Trump serve out this term without removing him, then the United States as a democratic republic is finished. The country won’t collapse overnight. There won’t be tanks in the streets. Instead, the destruction of democracy will happen in slow motion—buried under lawsuits, propaganda, and corruption so blatant that people stop caring.

If America lets this happen—if Trump is allowed to complete his mission—then Putin wins. The West crumbles. And the people who could have stopped it will look back, years from now, and wonder how they let it happen.

Good night, and good luck. Because if people don’t wake up, America is going to sleepwalk straight into its own funeral.

[mosertone]

via Volodymyr Vlad Kunko

I’m calling it as it is. I dont care whether you agree with me or not, just check your response with your gut. My gut never lies to me.

I’ve had my suspicions all along about this stooge. He’s not intelligent enough to pull this off by himself. We better hope that all the social security numbers and tax info that Muskrat just uploaded from SSA and IRS from every single american citizens account, doesn’t end up in Putin’s files. Whoever has that info can potentially wipe out every dime we have and can potentially fund a world takeover:

There is something rancid in America, a slow, creeping rot that smells like cold McDonald’s fries, aerosol hairspray, and the unmistakable musk of a country too sedated to recognize its own hostage situation. For years, the idea that Donald Trump was compromised by Russia was dismissed as paranoid fantasy—just another wild-eyed conspiracy theory, another overblown headline in the endless saga of American political dysfunction.

But now, two former Soviet intelligence officers—Alnur Mussayev and Yuri Shvets—are saying it outright: Trump was recruited by the KGB in 1987, groomed as an asset, and remains under Russian control to this day.

And the worst part? He’s already back in the White House.

That’s right, America. You did it. You walked face-first into the banana peel of history, slipped, and fell straight into the arms of Vladimir Putin. Trump was kicked out in 2020, spent four years plotting his comeback, and now he’s returned, like a bloated, orange cockroach that just won’t die. The Kremlin’s favorite stooge is running the country again, and this time, he knows exactly how to stay in power.

If you think this is just another round of the Trump Show, you’re not paying attention. This isn’t politics anymore. This is treason. This is foreign subversion. This is a goddamn coup in slow motion.

Let’s break it down, nice and simple.

Alnur Mussayev isn’t some Twitter conspiracy theorist with a tinfoil hat and a podcast. He’s the former head of Kazakhstan’s National Security Committee, which means he knows exactly how Russian intelligence works—because he was part of the system. And what he’s saying should make every American’s blood run cold.

According to Mussayev, Trump was identified, recruited, and compromised by the KGB in 1987 during his first trip to Moscow. They saw him for what he was: a narcissistic, greedy, attention-starved buffoon who could be easily manipulated. The KGB flattered him, promised him business deals, and planted the seeds of political ambition in his empty little head. And from that moment on, he was their man.

But Mussayev isn’t alone. Former KGB major Yuri Shvets said the exact same thing in 2021: Trump was cultivated by Soviet intelligence because he was an easy mark—too stupid to realize he was being played, too egotistical to care. They saw him as a useful idiot—a man who could one day be nudged into power, a walking, talking Trojan Horse for Russian interests.

And now? The plan has worked. Trump spent four years in office weakening America from within, got booted out, and now he’s back for round two.

If you had told the American public in 1962 that a Soviet-backed asset would one day sit in the White House, they would have burned Washington to the ground before letting it happen. But today? Nobody seems to care.

The media treats this like just another wacky subplot in the never-ending Trump reality show. Congress is too busy fighting over meaningless culture war nonsense to do anything about it. And the American public? Exhausted. Numb. Checked out. Years of scandals—Russia collusion, Ukraine blackmail, classified documents, tax fraud, sexual assault, an attempted coup—have fried the country’s brain like an overcooked steak at Mar-a-Lago.

Trump has done the impossible. He has committed so many crimes, so openly, so brazenly, that none of them matter anymore.

And now, with Mussayev’s revelation that Trump is an active foreign asset, we have finally reached the point where the biggest political scandal in American history is met with a collective shrug.

This is how democracy dies—not with a bang, but with a goddamn eye-roll.

This is the part where the skeptics start clutching their pearls. “Oh, come on,” they say. “If Trump were really a Russian asset, wouldn’t there be more proof?”

To which I say: Are you blind, or just willfully stupid?

Let’s go through the evidence, shall we?

Trump spent his entire first term doing exactly what Russia wanted. He attacked NATO, calling it “obsolete” and threatening to pull the U.S. out. He tried to blackmail Ukraine into manufacturing dirt on Joe Biden, because weakening Ukraine helps one man and one man only: Vladimir Putin. He pulled U.S. troops out of Syria, handing power over to Russian forces. He picked fights with Canada and Europe while cozying up to dictators.

Even now, in his second term, he is more openly pro-Putin than ever. He has made it clear that he will not protect NATO allies from Russian aggression. He is actively dismantling America’s alliances, just as Russia planned. And while Americans scream at each other over whether Target should sell rainbow t-shirts, Trump is quietly selling the country to the Kremlin.

At some point, you have to stop calling it a coincidence and start calling it what it is: treason.

The United States is running out of time. If Trump serves out this term without being removed, America as a functioning democracy is finished.

The media needs to wake up. Enough with the “Trump fatigue” excuse. This is not just another scandal—this is the single greatest infiltration of American power in history. Journalists need to dig into Mussayev’s claims, demand declassification of intelligence files, and treat this like the national emergency that it is.

Congress needs to subpoena Mussayev immediately. His testimony must be public, and every document he has should be reviewed. If there is proof that Trump has been compromised since the 1980s, the American people need to know.

The Justice Department needs to stop pretending that Trump is just another politician. If there is evidence that the sitting president of the United States is working in Russia’s interests, he must be removed from office and prosecuted for espionage.

And the American public? You have one last chance. This is not about Republican vs. Democrat. This is not about taxes, gas prices, or whatever nonsense outrage is dominating the news today. This is about whether the United States remains a sovereign nation, or if we spend the rest of the century as a Russian client state with a golf course.

The sheer volume of Trump's corruption, the blatant nature of his crimes, the mountain of evidence that should have ended his political career a hundred times over—none of it mattered. He survived it all, not because he was innocent, but because he drowned the country in so much scandal that nothing stuck.

But this time, it’s different. If Mussayev and Shvets are right, this isn’t just another chapter in the endless Trump circus. This is the culmination of a decades-long Russian intelligence operation to install an asset in the White House.

There is no coming back from this. If America lets Trump serve out this term without removing him, then the United States as a democratic republic is finished. The country won’t collapse overnight. There won’t be tanks in the streets. Instead, the destruction of democracy will happen in slow motion—buried under lawsuits, propaganda, and corruption so blatant that people stop caring.

If America lets this happen—if Trump is allowed to complete his mission—then Putin wins. The West crumbles. And the people who could have stopped it will look back, years from now, and wonder how they let it happen.

Good night, and good luck. Because if people don’t wake up, America is going to sleepwalk straight into its own funeral.

Hangnailias Nix

18h

Reply

[npdkondraki]

hihihi it’s me again ^_^ can i get a basic rundown/explanation of theresa and sam i would like to know more about them 🙏

(also funny story, our first rewrite was also named moore)

oh god oh fuck . this got so long . stelly i am so sorry you activated my autism trap card. enjoy the uh . multi-paragraph infodump.

ok FIRST OFF. basically the very very very basic lore rundown vis a vis What The Hell Is Their Issue is that essentially theyre both semi-hosts to a fucked up fungus* (*think of cordyceps fungi if u want a similar example ^_^) thats using their bodies to keep itself alive.

in moore's case it primarily resides in his throat & mouth* (*hence the fucked up hoarse & wavery voice + stutter) & in theresa's case it primarily resides in her heart* (*hence the fact she essentially just. cannot die. it just refuses to let her heart stop beating. lol. sucks to be her). moore's "healing" is essentially speeding up the healing process but sacrificing pieces of himself to do so, meanwhile he recovers at the same rate a normal human would with those injuries. the entire process is just . incredibly painful and draining for him. sucks to be that guy Lol Lmfao Even.

ok hope you got that. NOW onto their . like. normal actual dynamics i promise this is Far easier to explain.

moore works primarily on site as a sign language interpreter, and he'll pretty much work on anything he can have access to. the man loves information and its basically enrichment for him to be allowed to translate things. he also doubles as an off site medic, traveling primarily to areas where medical help isn't able to be received quick as a first resort health system so they don't use up their medical resources as quick. really the only reason they even have him on medical calls is because he was a med student who just . never went into nursing after graduation. worlds most traumatized 42 year old man who has not socially progressed past the age of 10. He Sucks Bad. its great

THERESA, on the other hand, is just. worlds worst interviewer. she works primarily with the more "violent" or typically dangerous humanoid scps doing interviews which . usually ends in her getting her ass kicked or being dragged out of the room before anything actually gets physical (really, its just because the foundation doesnt want to spend more money on fixing her messes than they have to). her main goal is pretty much to see how much they can take before it turns to violence. theresa takes primary control over anything relating to moore with the justification that he doesn't "truly understand what he's getting into", so long as she has permission from the higher ups.

theres just So Much happening in the background in their relationship honestly like. brief examples include theresa purposefully keeping him sheltered and insisting he not socialize with anyone as a way to keep him under her thumb, the fact moore hates her but literally wouldnt know who he is without her and also thats his sister still and he cant just Leave Her, and also just the fact alone that she, even within foundation walls, has found a way to isolate him further and keep him truly controlled. also like . dont even get me started on theresa purposefully injuring herself so moore will heal her so she has to take care of him and just manipulate him further. endless spiral. they suck so fucking much. my constant go-to is just "cain & abel if they sucked shit and were awful for eachother". but that would take Forever to properly explain so i will not even try to. anyways.

fuckignff. yeah thats it. thats the most basic summary i can nail down. thumbs up.

[zedleaked]

[APPARENTLY PEOPLE HERE WANTED TO KNOW THE HUMAN AXIS LORE SO IM JUST GOING TO COPY MY TWITTER POST HERE…] BASIC GIST IS THAT THIS IS JUST A GENERAL HUMAN AU. MONSTERS AND HUMANS SWAPPED. WOWIE!

ANYWAYS READ MORE FOR AXIS

AXIS ORIGIN IS STILL A BIT FUZZY. HERE HE'S LIKE CHUJIN'S ADOPTED SON [GENDER NEUTRAL],, CATGIRLTRICKSTER ON TWITTER SUGGESTED CHUJIN JUST FINDING YOUNG AXIS IN A PIPE OR SOMETHING AND I THINK THATS REALLY FUNNY... THOUGH HIS ORIGINS WOULD BE VAGUE. IF ASKED HE'D SAY HE DOESN'T REMEMBER.

ALSO NOTE BEFORE I FORGET. AXIS WAS JUST BORN WITH ONE LEG. THERE IS NO LORE REASON TO WHY ITS MISSING, IT IS JUST THE WAY HE IS. CHUJIN MAKES HIM A ROBOTIC LEG SO HE CAN HAVE AN EASIER TIME.

SURE I COULD GIVE A FUCKED REASON AS TO WHY HE DOESNT HAVE IT BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE IT.

AXIS WOULD BE AN APPRENTICE UNDER CHUJIN SIMILAR TO MARTLET [I NEEDA DRAW MARTLET EVENTUALLY] PLUS IN GAME THERE'S FLAVOR TEXT ABOUT HIM FLIPPING THROUGH THE ROYAL GUARD HANDBOOK IN HIS MIND. HONESTLY. MARTLET AND AXIS BEING FRIENDS THROUGH SHARING THE SAME INTEREST IS SILLY...

HE'D WANT TO TRAIN HIMSELF TO BECOME A ROYAL GUARD OR AT LEAST A PROTECTOR TO PAYBACK CHUJIN FOR TAKING HIM IN. HE'S GOING TO PROTECT HIS FATHER AND HUMANKIND. IT'S HIS BIGGEST GOAL IN LIFE.

STEAMWORKS STILL EXISTS. ITS JUST CHUJIN HADNT BUILT THE AXIS MODELS IN THIS AU BECAUSE. YOU KNOW.

MAYBE HE SAW POTENTIAL IN HUMAN AXIS, SEEING HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO GROW STRONGER AND PROTECT PEOPLE. CHUJIN WOULD WANT HIM TO HONE HIS SKILLS TO BECOME SOMETHING... BIG.

IN A WAY. AXIS WAS A PEEK INTO WHAT HUMANS COULD BECOME AND WHAT THAT COULD DO FOR HUMAN SOCIETY UNDERGROUND.

MEANWHILE AXIS IS ENAMORED BY STEAMWORKS AND JUST CHUJIN'S WORK IN GENERAL. HE REALLY ADMIRES ROBOTS, HE THINKS ABOUT WHAT ITS LIKE IF HE HAD ROBOTIC MODIFICATIONS.

AND LESS LORE RELEVANT BUT HE ALSO HAS CONNECTIONS TO KANAKO TOO! THEY ARE THE SIBLINGS EVER. THOUGH IVE BEEN WONDERING HOW CEROBA NOT KNOWING AXIS IN STEAMWORKS WOULD WORK. IT'D BE KINDA WEIRD FOR CHUJIN TO KEEP A WHOLE ASS CHILD SECRET FROM HER.

THEYVE PROBABLY SEEN EACH OTHER AND NEVER HAD MUCH SIGNIFICANT

INTERACTIONS FOR THEM TO FULLY REMEMBER EACH OTHER. AXIS SPENDS A MAJORITY OF HIS TIME AT STEAMWORKS OR DOING ROYAL GUARD SHIT, AND WHEN HES NOT DOING THAT HES PROBABLY PLAYING WITH KANAKO [WHEN CEROBA ISNT AROUND]

AND WELL. WE HAD TO GET TO THIS PART EVENTUALLY. ONE DAY A MONSTER MAKES ITS WAY INTO THE UNDERGROUND AND STARTED KILLING PEOPLE. DALV [WHO I ALSO NEED TO DRAW] GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE FRAY WHILE PLAYING WITH KANAKO [AND AXIS TOO]. UPON SEEING HIS FRIENDS GET HURT. SOMETHING CLICKS.

AXIS HAD TRAINED UP TO THIS POINT. THIS WAS HIS MOMENT. HE HAD TO SAVE THE PEOPLE FROM THE THREAT IN FRONT OF THEM. INSTINCTS KICK IN AND HE GOES IN TO FIGHT THE MONSTER WHILE DALV TAKES KANAKO TO SAFETY.

THIS MONSTER WAS TOUGH. HE WAS ALMOST KILLED. BUT HE HAD TO PERSEVERE.

SOMETHING JUST ACTIVATED IN HIS SOUL.

HE FELT A SURGE OF POWER. THE ONLY THING HE KNEW IN THAT MOMENT WAS TO.

GET. RID. OF. THE. THREAT.

IN FRONT OF HIM WAS JUST. A HEADLESS BODY THAT SLOWLY FADED INTO DUST.

THAT... HE DIDNT MEAN TO GO THAT FAR.

SIMILAR TO CLOVER IN GENOCIDE, AXIS HAD RAPIDLY LEVELED UP AND SHOT A POWERFUL ATTACK AT THE MONSTER IN RESPONSE TO ALMOST DYING. HE NEEDED TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT.

STILL. THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS LAID HEAVY ON HIM.

HE HAD KILLED A LIVING, BREATHING THING.

SOON AFTER CHUJIN WALKED IN ON THE SCENE COMPLETELY HORRIFIED. AXIS, ASHAMED OF WHAT HE HAD DONE RAN TOWARD STEAMWORKS TO ISOLATE HIMSELF, SIMILAR TO DALV.

SURE, HE HAD SAVED PEOPLE FROM THAT MONSTER BUT DID HE HAVE TO BE SO GRUESOME?

CHUJIN RAN AFTER HIM, TRYING TO GET HIM BACK

CHUJIN FINDS HIM AT STEAMWORKS, WALLOWING IN JUST. EVERY EMOTION.

HE TRIES TO COMFORT HIM THOUGH AXIS IS STILL INSISTENT ON NOT GOING OUT.

THE TWO REACHED THE COMPROMISE THAT: AXIS WOULD GUARD AND PROTECT STEAMWORKS AND THAT CHUJIN WOULD CHECK UP ON HIM EVERY NOW AND THEN.

SO THATS WHAT HE DID. HE STAYED AT STEAMWORKS, WATCHING OVER THE PLACE AND ITS ROBOTS FOR….. AGES.

EVENTUALLY CHUJIN'S CHECK UPS GET MORE SPARSE UNTIL JUST. NOTHING.

AXIS NOTICES TOO THAT LESS AND LESS SCIENTISTS ARE PRESENT AT STEAMWORKS. UNTIL THERE IS NO ONE THERE.

WHEN ASKED IF HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE

TOO HE SAID

"NO. MY FATHER AND I HAD REACHED THE AGREEMENT THAT I WOULD STAY AND PATROL THIS AREA, AND THAT I WILL DO." THERE WAS NO CONVINCING HIM TO LEAVE. SO THE OTHERS RELUCTANTLY LEFT HIM BE.

DAY BY DAY HE WATCHES STEAMWORKS FLOOD AND DECAY. WHILE HE STAYS THERE TRYING TO KEEP UP THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN HIS FATHER AND HIMSELF.

NO ONE HAD TOLD HIM.

ONE DAY THOUGH HE FINDS THAT STEAMWORKS SUDDENLY ACTIVATES RIGHT BEFORE SEEING A MONSTER ONCE AGAIN.

OH HE REMEMBERS THE PAST WELL. IN THIS AU IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO GET HIS MEMORY ERASED.

WHILE THE EVENTS PLAY OUT MOSTLY THE SAME COMPARED TO NORMAL UTY.

AXIS SEEMS MORE HESITANT THAN USUAL. AND PROBABLY MONOLOGUING A LITTLE SIMILAR TO WHAT DALV DOES

BEING A HUMAN. HE POSES LESS OF A THREAT ON HIS OWN. HOWEVER. MY GUY SETS UP HOME ALONE TYPE TRAPS N SHIT TO TRY AND CATCH CLOVER INSTEAD [PART OF HIS ROYAL GUARD TRAINING!!.

ONLY RESORTING TO USING "ROBOTIC MODIFICATIONS" HE HAD FOUND WHEN CLOVER REALLY [ticks] HIM OFF.

AND YES. HE STILL GETS A ROBOT SPOUSE IF A PACIFIST PLAYTHROUGH HAPPENS. HUMAN AXIS IS OBJECTUM. ITS REAL.

SO YEAH THAT IS ALL THE THINGS I THINK.

HOLY SHIT THIS THREAD IS LONG. FEW PEOPLE WILL READ THIS I THINK BUT I STILL WANTED TO GET STUPID AU THOUGHTS OUT. UH. YEAH HOPE THAT IS GOOD OR SMTH.. FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS 🥺