#so i could take a shower

[agendratum]

the mood is for some therapeutic impulsive purchases

[astronomical-bagel]

The brainworms… they got me…

[shirecorn]

I want to vape water so bad. It looks like fun and I remember sucking the mist from my mom's miniature rock fountain and laughing out clouds of distilled water and a little bit of dirt.

Tiny horses we dipped in and out of the fog, mistepped and broke their tiny legs, left them too close to the little motor which somehow sprouted blisters on their plaster hides.

Spinning sticks in the embers trying to make smoke rings before we get scolded for playing with fire.

Ok I'm an adult now can I play with fire? Can I play with water?

What are they packing into those pens that rots our lungs and blisters and scars and does such fun things we call "popcorn" like it's a snappy bright flavor of addiction?

Can I just play with it?

I don't trust anyone to make toys in an industry whose mission statement is to hurt and harm in 10 colorful new flavors!

Literally it's just clouds. You made clouds into polkadot poison and gave it to kids like bubbles and a wand.

We have to laugh and mock and boo and try to make it uncool to somehow stop the damage but fuck, it IS cool! It's dragon's breath without the biting cold of winter but you went and made it sick.

Man what the hell. Imagine if bubbles could kill you.

Why did they do that?

I'm going outside to find cool sticks. I just wish I could bring the clouds with me.

[deoidesign]

Return date for my webcomic, Time and Time Again!

It's been set for a while but sometimes they change the date without warning, so I'll keep you updated if anything changes!

I'm extremely proud of the work I've been doing on it, I can't wait to share everything!

See you then!

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando instinctively trying to protect his boyfriend Seb from the champagne spray

+

[howdoyousleep3]

never in my life have i wanted a Daddy more than i do rn 😭

[waitineedaname]

i know trying to decipher the timeline in mxtx novels is always an endeavor that ends in madness, but i can't help it. i can't stop wondering: how old is zhuzhi-lang? and, a related question that might either answer or complicate the first question, how old is tianlang-jun?

demons can live longer than humans, and appearances are deceiving when it comes to guessing their ages, just like it is with the immortal cultivators. zhuzhi-lang is described as looking fifteen or sixteen when tianlang-jun gives him a humanoid form, and as a young man when shen qingqiu sees him later, but that could mean anything

here's the timeline i can piece together:

tianlang-jun's younger sister has an affair with a snake demon and gives birth to zhuzhi-lang. we don't really know how much time passed between zhuzhi-lang's birth and his mother's death and tianlang-jun finding him. we have no idea how much older tianlang-jun is than his sister. they could be a year apart, they could be a decade apart. who knows.

zhuzhi-lang serves tianlang-jun for an undisclosed amount of time, and then they meet su xiyan. that affair goes on for an unknown amount of time but at the very least nine months because uh. you know. pregnancy.

seventeen years pass before shen qingqiu meets him in his snake form because this is shortly after luo binghe is sent into the abyss and he was seventeen at that time. shen qingqiu then meets him in his human form after the five years of corpsezun, when luo binghe is 25

so. let's try to do math while i go insane. putting the rest under the cut because it got long

this is made complicated by us not really knowing how demons age, especially heavenly demons or snake demons. snake demons could reach maturity earlier. heavenly demons could age slower. who the fuck knows. tianlang-jun could've been completely guessing when he gave him a human form that was around fifteen, but zhuzhi-lang seems pretty mature, so he's definitely not younger than that when it comes to maturity. so let's say he really is fifteen when tianlang-jun finds him. I'm going to go with the lowest numbers just to make math simpler. he serves tianlang-jun for a while before they meet su xiyan, let's say at least a year, so he's at least sixteen when they meet her. then let's say the affair with her goes on for at least a year, so he's at least seventeen when luo binghe is born, tianlang-jun is betrayed, su xiyan dies, etc. add 25 years to that, and zhuzhi-lang is at least 42 when he meets shen qingqiu in book two. this is especially funny to me because shen qingqiu is, what, also early forties at this point? if we don't count his five years as a corpse towards his age? so zhuzhi-lang is pretty close in age to him

but then how old is tianlang-jun? again, I'm gonna go with the lowest numbers for the easiest math. let's say zhuzhi-lang's mother was eighteen when she had him, for my own sanity, and let's say tianlang-jun is only a year older than her. presuming zhuzhi-lang really does age like a human, fifteen years pass before tianlang-jun finds him, which would put him at 34. then let's do the same math as before and say he was at least 36 when luo binghe is born, then add 25 years again, he's 61 when we meet him. this is so funny to me. get it grandpa

the alternative is that zhuzhi-lang doesn't age like a human, he ages like a snake, so he's acting like a mature teen but is actually like. two years old because of how snakes age. so then that nudges tianlang-jun's ages down, so he's like 21 when they meet and 23 when luo binghe is born, then 48 when he shows up in the main plot. this is still funny to me

there's not really an answer i can think of that isn't insane. i think I've probably thought about this more than mxtx has at this point. I'm mostly just amused thinking about how, in terms of maturity at least, zhuzhi-lang is close in age with shen qingqiu and significantly older than luo binghe

[triglycercule]

alright you know what FINE horror cooks. even though he struggles with food and has a bad relationship with it sure he'll cook. but can we at least give him the liberty of getting to fuck around with people because of it ok FINE let me be specific i mean feeding other people dead remains and stuff ok 😒😒😒 ok 😒😒😒

oh so sweet he just made a five course meal and a fancy steak!!!! its gold plated!!!! it smells so good!!!! soooo delish and hmm a bit hard to chew but maybe he just made it a bit overcooked dont worry horror you tried your hardest. what do you mean you put blood sweat and tears into it with a oddly evil grin on your face. what is in my cup of water bro. what did I JUST EAT

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

Hello we're on day 4 without hot water and I've resorted to walking a mile in 88 degree heat before trying to shower

[mainenorth]

locus with separation anxiety

[funkily]

IM SORRY FALSE I COULD ONLY DO 12 .. she probably wouldve swept anyways like tbh .

youre legally required to tell me why btw . try and vote before looking at prev tags though so we have your unbiased opinion

[wetslug]

.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

why do spiders exist and how can i get rid of them. permanently. with no damage to the ecosystem just cut and delete

[curlsincriminology]

Okay……….. the beta blockers are meant to widen my blood vessels to prevent the migraines……

Widening blood vessels from heat of shower can cause fainting…..

Can you guess…. What almost happened….

[finnsfunworld]

what i do for fanfiction i swear

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

u ever do something and get really really into it and ur like wow maybe this is a sign that im not being enriched enough in this area of my life