#so i can find this easily again

[fanfoolishness]

Headcanons for Crosshair's healing, post-finale

I'm definitely hoping to write fics incorporating most or all of these, but if I wind up stalling out on them, at least they'll be preserved here! I'm also linking to some fics or art where I've addressed some of these points, if you're curious. :)

In the immediate post-Tantiss aftermath, Crosshair is a foggy mess, between the shock and pain of his injury and the pain medication AZI has him on. He has some heart-to-hearts with his family here, but the vulnerability he shows during this time dries up once he's more clear-headed. Still, he realizes more and more that his family wants to help him, and will.

Once some of the major healing of his stump has occurred, he throws himself into helping his family build and furnish their new home (it's Star Wars and there's prefabs, so it doesn't really take too long, but it's a good distraction for a bit), as well as helping with simple things around the island like deliveries of things he can carry easily without a hand. He stays close to Omega when he can, feeling anxious when she's out of sight, something his brothers share.

The more routine and settled the days get, the worse his nights start to become. Nightmares of his time with the Empire, his imprisonment and torture on Tantiss, the terror and pain of losing his hand, and worst of all, Tech, start disrupting his sleep. He tries to pretend it's nothing, but his family isn't fooled. Decompressing from the absolute adrenaline rush of being focused on rescuing Omega leaves too much space for bad memories to start bubbling up, as well as unresolved grief.

Omega, realizing he's struggling -- and starting to struggle herself for many of the same reasons, which I could write a whole other post on! -- tries to get him to meditate with her again, but he brushes her off. No hand? No tremor? Problem solved, right?

AZI offers to work on a prosthetic for him, but he declines. Not because he's content with his arm as it is right now, but because he's afraid a prosthetic will shake, too, and because he still struggles with feeling like he doesn't deserve help.

He shifts into a depressive state with isolating himself from his family, eating poorly, and sleeping terribly. He spends a lot of time walking around with Batcher, and starts to notice some of the birds around the island. He still has moments of happiness, like when spending time with Omega, playing fetch with the hound, seeing his brothers doing well, or noticing the beauty of Pabu, but the instant the happy thing is over, the black cloud returns.

He resists any talk about Tech, even as his nightmares grow more and more to include his brother.

Until it's made clear that Omega is having a hard time, too, and modeling some of the same behaviors he is -- pulling away, clamming up, nightmares. It's when he sees her struggling that he realizes he still might not care about healing for himself... but if it could help her in some way, maybe he needs to try.

I haven't quite figured out the inciting factor for this next part, but something Happens, and Crosshair finally breaks down about Tech. I am envisioning something truly messy and painful. But when his family finds him and convinces him to talk, he finally starts letting it out. His guilt, his self-hatred in that Tech would still be alive if they hadn't tried to rescue him, that his message had had the opposite effect, that he didn't take the chance to come with them on Kamino or to go with Cody. He's worried Tech would be angry at him, would hate him for who he'd been in the Empire, for being the reason Tech died, and he's been carrying all of this for months.

His family is able to reassure him that Tech never stopped caring about him, that Tech would be the first to realize Crosshair had changed. And there'd be some very sweet moments where they remember him together, as a family. ;_;

The nightmares start to get better, and Crosshair asks Omega to start meditating with him again. It's not perfect, there are still hard days, but he starts being more social again, keeps up with the meditating, is better able to be there for Omega when she's having a hard time too.

With the guilt of losing Tech starting to heal, he can start trying to heal the rest of him, too. He works with AZI and Echo to try a prosthetic.

As he feared, it does shake, too, now and then. At first it panics him and he takes the hand off and doesn't try it again for days. But the others encourage him to try again, and as he keeps up with the meditation, the tremors get fewer. They still happen sometimes, but they are less distressing; if it really bothers him, he takes off his hand. He winds up wearing his prosthetic maybe 50% of the time, sometimes taking it off to relax and not worry about the tremors, sometimes taking it off just because he doesn't feel like using a second hand, sometimes just because it will always feel a little strange and he just prefers being without it sometimes.

Within a few months of using the prosthetic, he finds his old mirror pucks and builds a suncatcher out of them, taking an object of war and making it into something warm and artistic. Every time he looks at it, he remembers how far he's come, how he's becoming less and less defined by being a sniper, a soldier, every day.

Eventually, he and Echo do get word from Cody. Seeing him again is frightening -- remembering how badly he'd failed Cody when he had the chance, wondering if Cody will only see him as he was then -- but he's eager to show Cody how much he's changed. Cody for his part is still feeling guilt over the Order and his work for the Empire, and both of them are able to reassure each other and remind each other there is a path forward.

Within 2-3 years, Crosshair is doing far better. He still misses Tech terribly, but guilt and shame and repressed grief have changed into smiling when he talks about Tech, or quiet moments with rare tears when things are harder. He visits Tech's goggles sometimes, whether on his own or with one of his siblings. The messy breakdown and the knotty repression phases have largely ended. Nightmares are uncommon now, and usually soothed with meditation or talking to his brothers or Omega or Batcher. Like others have suggested he has probably taken up fishing as so many on the island do, but in his spare time he has started to appreciate the birds of Pabu, especially when he remembers how much Tech loved recording sounds. He finds recordings of several species on Tech's datapad and uses it to keep track of the birds he sees, feeling a little closer to his brother when he does so. His enthusiasm for the creatures rubs off on the rest of their family, too. He meditates daily; sometimes with Omega, but often on his own. Wrecker hates it and has fallen asleep the rare times he's tried it, but Hunter, to Crosshair's surprise, joins him occasionally. Batcher loves it and views it as part of her daily nap routine.

On trips home from the Rebellion, when Omega is frustrated or heartsick about losses or the odds they are facing, she knows she can always nudge her white-haired brother and say, "Want to meditate a bit?" And he'll say yes, every time. <3

Any thoughts? I do hope I get a chance to write all this out in fic form, but it was nice getting it down for my own edification :)

[fisheito]

you know when you're holding a snake but they wanna GO so they keep worming forward but you keep replacing your hands along the length so now you're both on a conveyor belt to nowhere

[bugeyedfreaks]

I still haven’t been able to pick up a copy of the new PPG comic but you know what? I saw this panel online from it and…

…if this is like a Super Zeroes-esque comic where the girls are envisioning alternate versions of themselves with different destinies and if Blossom wants to be a detective GOD! BLESS! whoever wrote this ‘cause it’s perfect.

Bubbles as a bunny and Buttercup as a wrestler are also both perfect but that goes without saying. 🙏

[hephaestuscrew]

One of the many Wolf 359 script directions that is Important To Me is this bit from Ep15 What's Up, Doc?, which comes after Hilbert has been threatening to tell Minkowski how Eiffel ended up on the Hephaestus:

[hanzajesthanza]

it is absolutely so weird to me to try to imagine a version of geralt that is like, my age. like, no. get back to being an old man

[boatemboys]

i have to ask, What is the cumphantom incident-

this is the funniest ask ive ever received anyway the cumphantom incident is just when joe hills misspelled cubphantom and its the funniest thing ever to me. why can nobody spell the 3 letter name and why is it always an unfortunate spelling

[ganondoodle]

i dont know what the plan is now, i have never had a plan for anything, but i dont want to delete the previous posts bc it feels like im trying to sweep things under the rug or act like they didnt happen

[campspawn]

yknow i know a lot of people are upset about cassandra dying which i get. BUT. i can’t fucking wait for kristen’s ‘my deity is dead i’m a cleric and i’ve killed TWO gods in rapid fire succession what am i gonna fucking do’ arc because i think it’s gonna be the best kristen arc yet

[pathetichoney]

[Image ID: A drawing of a selfie taken by Sam Manson with Damian Wayne. They are both dressed up in formal attire, Damian in a black/dark grey suit with a red tie, and Sam in a purple topped off the shoulder dress with black straps. She is wearing a variety of jewelry, a necklace with a bat pendant, a black choker with a star of david in a circle pendant and cartoonish spider shaped earrings. Her hair is reminiscent in her half-up hairstyle, but with two ponytails rather than one. The background is a dark wall, a white collumn and white tile flooring. There is a window in the back, with green curtains, and outside the window is a cityscape of Gotham at night. There is a watermark of the artist’s username in the top left corner @pathetichoney​. End ID.]

i am back on my bullshit this time with a v special new way that i’m drawing bc i got a new phone that i am paying out the wazoo for, however i can draw on it so my art has gotten significantly better. though of course i had to test myself and do both 1. a full background 2. a character who wears lipstick which i always struggle with unless their mouth is in a particular position and 3. a character that i have never ever tried to draw.

so like. rip me lol.

anyways i am back on my bullshit bc this is fanart of fanfic!!!! i always feel exactly in my element when i do this, it’s just always so good??? and fun?? and when i first read this fic, i mean oh god i just fell for it so hard. i ended up rereading it again like barely 48 hours after i’d finished reading it the first time lol

the fic in question is a damian and danny are twins au! it’s called Leap Before You Think by TourettesDog and i just-- the characterisations are just so well done it all feels incredibly natural especially with the merging of the two different universes into one cohesively and seamlessly it’s wonderful. there are a few faults with this pic i think, however i am still incredibly proud of it. as a bonus, here’s a better view of the window scene because i’m still really proud of that one:

[katzkinder]

So why everyone is saying mikuni have mommy issues I don't understand why because he didn't care for a bit when his mother was killed infront of him?

Hello, thanks for the ask!

Well, things like mommy issues and daddy issues aren’t really “I care about them a lot and am upset something happened” (though they can be)

It’s a silly, mostly derogatory, term for someone whose relationship with a parent, in this case a mother, was soooo volatile in childhood that it left a lasting mark on their psyche to the point a significant portion of their actions end up filtered through unresolved emotions surrounding their mother. Usually psychosexual. Not always though!

Personally I would say mikuni’s lack of reaction to his mother’s death comes from a few areas. 1) he’d seen the changes in his mother and knew that the woman who raised him and Misono with so much love was no longer there. He’d made his peace with her demise long before it caught up to reality. 2) compartmentalizing 3) and this might be a little controversial but I am using the term respectfully and without derision, as a morally neutral state of being. That said, Mikuni shows traits of psychopathy and this could also have impacted the way he responded, not to mention we jump cut to a scene in a WacDonald’s without any indication of how much time has passed between Mikuni leaving the manor and making his way to the restaurant, so there’s a portion of indeterminate time where we simply are unaware of his actions, reactions, and thoughts on the matter

I hope some of this helps to explain the joke! It’s a little mean spirited but he’s a fictional character so I’m fine making fun of him like that xD

[spotaus]

Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)

Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)

Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?

[mortimer]

if youre wondering what criteria i use to decide to tag/categorize something as either painting or illustration, the answer is that it's almost completely arbitrary

[bellamyblakru]

would anyone read an ongoing original work on ao3 or is that not something people read

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

[sadlynotthevoid]

I was feeling like a bit of slightly-angsty isolation this thursday, so...

AU where, instead of a double transmigration happening, RokSoo transmigrated to ogCale's body, but ogCale was put into a newly made double of his body and confined into a dimension pocket.

And just, no one knows about it and he can't get out until certain conditions are reached. For example: that someone finally gets rid of WS.

Luckily for him, RokSoo and company are rather fast to kill the white star. It only took them two years, way better than in his previous timeline.

Although, those are still two years in which og!Cale, the 40-year-old war soldier turned an 18-year-old time-traveler, had to spend trapped in that place. Completely alone except for the occasional god checking on him, and a few animals a god had the kindness to let for him. (It was Loki, but no one is going to call him out).

Og!Cale is a person who loves easily and deeply but, contrary to his true nature, someone who lived through decades without deep boundaries to gave him feedback. Whether it was during the war that took everyone he knew from him, or before that, with the family he choose to stay at distance and love them from the side-lines. He lived so long without feeling genuine care, making any emotional bond that isn't one-sided, that he's hungry for them.

Being in the past, where everyone he loves hadn't died yet, where they will live, and being so close— just a dimensional door away, really— but not being able to see them, hear them, nor even talk to them... It hurts.

He's happy and so, so glad. They're alive. They can laugh and eat and breath again— and, someday, he will see them again. Even if they don't know how to act with him and is uncomfortable. Even if, most probably, they don't know he's not there and don't miss him, he will see them again.

So, yeah, he's fine with this situation. He accepted this.

That doesn't mean that the waiting doesn't suck. He, a freedom loving person, trapped in the godly version of a safehouse. Most of the days it's only he, his thoughts and the ridiculous massive library Athena managed to fit in here. And his friends, the animals, of course.

Inside of that lonely place, of course, Cale gets attached to the animals that are by his side everyday. He was already an animal lover, to begin with. The little guys who just go through their lives being absolutely adorable and are more loyal than most people around... How can he not love them?

Besides, Athanasia, the griffin, gives the best cuddles he has ever had.

He gets used, eventually. It's not like he never had lived in a big house where the only beings around wouldn't speak more than three words to him. (Well, at least the animals try to talk with him. He just needed to learn what they mean.)

And Cale can do whatever he wants here. If he wants to play the violin or paint, do acrobatics or keep his training, he can just do it. There's no need to hide. No need to restrain himself.

There's no one here to get sad at her memories. No one to spread rumors about 'skills' or 'talents'. No one to turn his interests into weapons against his own family by comparing Bassen to him.

Eventually, it feels like a different kind of freedom here.

—And then he gets out.

[good-beanswrites]

hii hiii is it alright if I request something with kotoko and haruka?(platonic ofc) their character foils drive me insane with all the weak stuff authngghn icant be normal about them

Oooh thank you so much for the request! I realized that these two actually have one of the smallest windows to talk easily, given Haruka's nervousness and Kotoko's T2 changes. They have such interesting approaches to strength/weakness, and I hope I could capture it a bit here! This takes place immediately following Kotoko's bday timeline after Harrow's release:

“I’ll accept those birthday wishes…” Kotoko gave him a wave over her shoulder as she returned to making her bed.  

She shook her head in awe. It was rather impressive how quickly the boy had changed after his verdict. The others had more subtle differences, but he was someone entirely new. She could rest easy, at least, knowing that her verdict wouldn’t change her much. For as long as she could remember, she’d been like this. She knew where she stood, and neither guilty nor innocent verdict would affect that. This verdict was really only an indicator on whether the warden could be trusted or not. 

Her body tensed up when she turned back around, startled by Haruka lingering silently in the doorway. She decided against chastising him for scaring her half to death. Still, she couldn’t keep the bite from her voice as she asked, “did you need something else?”

“Ah… I just…” He twisted his hands together. “I had a question.” 

He fell silent, but Kotoko could tell he was chewing on his next words. She waited.

“H-how do you do it? All the time? You’re older and stronger and braver and I-I just don’t know how.”

“Give yourself some credit. I’m not that much older, or stronger. I only have, what -- two, three years on you? And you did very well in the arm wrestling tournament the other day.” 

She wasn’t being patronizing. For someone so sheltered, Haruka could do some damage. He stood a few inches taller than her. The others had taken the arm wrestling as a little game, but Kotoko had used the event to measure up her fellow prisoners. After his close match with Mikoto, she had made a mental note to take him seriously. 

“No…” his expression twitched, getting frustrated with the misunderstanding. “Not muscles. I mean… you don’t have someone like Muu. You don’t need someone next to you all the time. But you still talk with everyone… and it looks easy. All the time. You always know what to say, and what to do. You never look scared. You never cry.”

Kotoko’s smile softened. She wasn’t the prideful type, but his words gave her a wave of accomplishment. She certainly was scared. She did cry. But she wasn’t about to show a single crack in her resolve in front of anyone here. Haruka had given her the greatest of compliments by confirming her success.

“Ah, you mean strength of spirit. Well, that doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It comes with my purpose, with my virtues.”

“Virtues…?”

“I see the injustice around me, and want to protect the innocent. When I see how awful the world can be, when I see the monsters that are hurting those who are weak, I can’t help myself.” She clenched her fist. “The power to do so just comes to me.” 

“Oh…” Haruka looked down at his palms. 

Her heart sank, realizing he didn’t quite understand. It was a shame that not all of humanity could be as righteous as her. That heroic drive had always come so naturally to her; she wasn’t sure she could put it into words to explain to others.

Haruka’s open hands were trembling. “Um. Is there any other way?”

“Hm?”

“All my life… I only cause pain to everyone.” His worry gradually turned to desperation.” I hurt everyone who gets close to me. Especially things that are small and weak. My whole life, I’ve been nothing but a… a curse. So… is there another way? Please. I want to be better. I want to be strong! I want to be like you! Tell me!”

He stepped forward, pleading. Kotoko stepped back. 

His blue eyes widened at her sudden shift into defense. “Ah! I. I’m sorry. I’m-I’m sorry. It’s your birthday. You should be… Have a g-good day.”

“Wait.” Kotoko stopped him before he could flee. She was aware of the massive gap between them, the vastly different backgrounds they came from. Still, she offered the same advice that had helped her in her toughest of days. 

“Don’t worry so much about others’ strength. The quickest way to burn yourself out is getting overwhelmed with the power that’s all around you. Once you start putting all your focus toward honing your own skills and strengths, you’ll realize how much you’re truly capable of. You don’t need anyone else. You’ll realize that you are enough.”

“I… am enough…?”

She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder. 

“So, no need to get all worked up now, okay?” 

“O-okay. I’ll do my best.” He stiffened, trying to appear worthy of her words.

She let out a bitter laugh. “I told the others not to do anything for my birthday, but I don’t think they paid me any mind.” Kotoko still couldn’t fathom how they were so friendly with each other given the situation. “Let’s go see if there’s some cake or something.”