#so i am getting what i can done beforehand and relying on the fact that sports will be reasonable </3

[alpinelogy]

mom erika has started another graphics set that relies on vuelta staying interesting until next week </3

[offline-nobody]

this is probably a terrible post to make but i dont care because by god some of the take ive been seeing on the house of the dragon finale have been just absurdly stupid

like yall seem so determined to classify all these characters as ‘morally good’ or ‘morally bad’ when one of the most important details of the show is that no character is inherently good or evil

‘alicents a bad person for agreeing to let rhaenrya kill aegon’ where you not paying attention to the full minute of silent deliberation beforehand?? the fact that she cant bring herself to even say the words, just a quick nod before turning around?? the whole point of that minute of silence was alicent having to chose between one life and the thousands that will die if this war continues. this isnt a decision she makes lightly, and isnt one that she even wants to make, but she recognises the necessity of it, even if she doesnt want to. why am i seeing it boiled down to ‘alicent is an inherently bad person’ shut up, no character is inherently good or evil, they are the products of every other moment that has come before, they are stuck in a situation in which they have no good options, and are trying to navigate it to what they believe is the best possible outcome, even when that outcome directly contradicts what others want.

‘rhaenyra bringing up a son for a son is bad and therefore shes a bad person’ also shut up. it hasnt been that long since lucerys died, of course shes still upset about it. in her eyes, alicent is in part to blame, alongside otto, aegon, and everybody else who she believed to conspire against her. its not even the point of the seen, shes essentially throwing it in there to guilt trip alicent. she doesnt want aegon dead because of ‘a son for a son’ she wants him dead because as long as hes still around, shell be seen as the usurper, thatll be her legacy unless she makes it aegons. yes technically the debt has been paid but thats not the point here, the point is that, to rhaenyra, she has lost so much in this war and alicent has lost less (which isnt necessarily true but how would rhaenyra know whats happening in kings landing). yes this is a bad thing for rhaenyra to throw at alicent, but that doesnt make rhaenyra a bad person, just a person who has done both good and bad things in the past, who has had good and bad things happen to her, and is acting on those things.

this isnt even everything, theres so many moments that rely on subtly that some of yall are just not seeing. like im sorry this show has complicated characters that dont fall into easy good and bad boxes. im sorry these characters are complex and nuanced and that is what makes them interesting to watch. honestly its like yall werent even paying attention to english literature in school. characters can be more than one thing, in fact characters should be more than one thing, because people are more than one thing

im sorry for rambling so much, but it just felt like whiplash going from watching the show and finding the finale to be one of the greatest episodes of television, to seeing people attempt to boil it down to good and bad, and then getting annoyed when characters would act with nuance

[titoist]

hello. the following post will be yet another nervous deconstruction of what feels like my innate drive for attention. i am letting you know beforehand so that you can choose beforehand to either keep reading, or discard it immediately, denying that drive a source to tap from: lifetime of being matter-of-factly confronted, by almost every single corner of my lived experience, with the fact that i will need to fight to have a future - that what is familiar is necessarily temporary, impermanent, an entire nation will need to pre-emptively take up the distinct emotional character of a long-demolished "childhood home" + lifetime of, simultaneously, being conditioned (even if not necessarily on purpose) to the belief that i am distinctly incapable of doing most anything 'correctly', in a sense that transcends physical proficiency & veers into an almost metaphysical interpretation, jinx. i have the term 'bad omen' imprinted somewhere very deep in my amygdala. = (i can only presume) birth of a fervent hope in the only possible conclusion, which is that i am going to need to rely on the mere possibility that someone will care enough to help drag me out of the titanic. partner, friend. love perceived as the procurement of a material necessity, love as commodity, love as a life raft that i need to cling to = "if i do not court the love of other people i am going to die" - & everything sinister implied thereof

at least, this is the best that i've been able to dissect it, with the theoretical tools available to me. the way in which all of these agonies seem to interweave, drag, reinforce one another really is cruel & unusual. overwhelming, because it seems to follow that an assault required to change one part is an assault from all sides, on the whole. i might as well just get a lobotomy & call it a day. of course, by excising my rotten organs & laying all of them out on the table, i am greatly decreasing the possibility that i will endear another person, &, conversely, greatly increasing the possibility that someone's love will be supplanted by a sort of fear, concern, irritation, pity, etc. that's fine. i suspect i've done too much of that already to be worried about it now. & at any rate, i'd rather work to subvert the fear that this instinct is rooted in than to validate it by playing to its tune.

[dwtisgay]

If he's done it to one underage girl, he'll do it to another, If he didn't care in the first place that she was 17 or didn't check that she was, then he will do it again. At a certain point you need to sit and think about wether someone like him deserves or is able to have a platform, and at least from my perspective, he doesn't

point blank if the allegations of him sexting amanda are true, then what that tells us is that dream likes sexting/flirting/getting emotional gratification from fans, and seemingly he tends to hand wave age if the birthday is close, in this case, a month away - some of this we already knew, I personally don't find this morally detestable or a problem (yet) nor do I think anything brought forth can be considered grooming, but I understand why others do, due to the possibility of abuse existing/flourishing under these conditions, but I personally am not going to hang my final judgement on a possibility

I can happily tell you 8/10/12 months ago that he shouldn't have a platform, simply due to his past racism, his general abrasive demeanor, his inability to distance himself from fans etc these are all behaviors that were and are present prominently beforehand but case in point he still has and will continue to have people platform him, and you can bring up the point that he has improved and apologized in those cases but being a better person is secondary to the fact that those abrasions did happen and not like he handled them any better than this or with any grace, I am sure you can find a lot of betrayed ex poc fans who drew the line a long time ago, and yet I can still stand here and derive enjoyment from content surrounding him, so what now? what's the distinction? where does the line draw for people and why does it differ from person to person, does it make you a bad person for having a different line? do others even care about your opinion of what makes a person bad for the content they consume and the people they support? can you make them care? and I am not asking this question to be antagonistic, I just don't think a lot of people in this fandom think things through nor understand why they do what they do when relying on a moral framework that genuinely isn't a "one size fits all" and at the same time I definitely don't think parasocialism has helped in how people approached the subject due to extreme biases but I wont preach to the choir this post is long enough

[tenebraevesper]

Up Ladybug Remix - The Black Cat’s Responsibility (Analyzer)

Due to unexplainable circumstances, Bridgette and Félix find themselves in a different universe, where their counterparts are saving Paris from a villain who apparently has nothing better to do but send his Akuma to cause havoc. Despite their attempts at staying away from the action, they do tend to get themselves involved when the situation calls for it.

Adrichat was soaring as he leapt from building to building. Frankly, he felt that Plagg was a genius for coming up with the Cat Walker plan. Everything was once again fine between him and Ladybug and he could go back to his usual goofy self instead of having to be the prim and proper Cat Walker. He was glad that Ladybug told him just how irreplaceable she was, acknowledging that she needed him and that no other Black Cat holder would ever be able to be the kind of partner he was.

Nothing can ruin this day! Adrichat thought as he took a moment to recover from the bliss he felt. He felt as if he was dreaming. If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up from it.

“I must say, I’m impressed.”

Adrichat looked up as he heard a familiar voice, instantly feeling the resentment building up inside him. A figure was crouching on all fours on the top of the wall above him, tail flicking, his green eyes almost glowing in the night sky. Adrichat frowned, realizing that this dream was about to turn into a nightmare.

Not him again.

Chat Noir leapt off the wall, doing a flip and landing gracefully in front of Adrichat. He then took a step back, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall behind him. “I’ve been observing your stunt as Cat Walker and I’d go so far to say that you have done a great job out there.”

Adrichat rose an eyebrow. Hearing a compliment was something he did not expect from his older counterpart. Usually, the other Chat Noir would criticize or tease him for his mistakes, lack of contribution in a battle or his treatment of Maribug - all stuff Adrichat did not want to listen to. Sure, mistaking Scarabella for an Akuma and attempting to Cataclysm her was a mistake, but it was Maribug’s fault that she didn’t warn him beforehand. Also, it is not as if destroying that wall was his fault, as he needed to find a way to vent properly after Rena Rouge told him about the plan Maribug didn’t bother to include him in. It was fixed afterwards, wasn’t it?

“Why are you telling me this?” Adrichat asked. “You never complimented me before. What has changed?”

“The one thing that has changed is the fact that you actually took responsibility for once as a superhero,” Chat Noir replied. “Instead of charging recklessly into the battle and performing unnecessary sacrifices, you remained observant and focused.”

“Your point being?” Adrichat asked, still confused. Chat Noir’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the younger Black Cat holder, waiting for the latter to figure it out on his own. “I mean, it’s not like I’m going to continue working as Cat Walker. Cat Noir is back and he is staying for good.”

“I’m wondering whether Cat Noir has also learned his lesson,” Chat Noir said. Adrichat grinned.

“Of course I did - both my civilian self and my hero self are the real me!”

No matter how much he wanted, Chat Noir prevented himself from facepalming, opting instead at glaring at Adrichat like he was an idiot; which, granted, he was.

“What?” Adrichat couldn’t understand why his counterpart was glaring at him. “Wasn’t that the point of this whole change of personality? That I should accept myself the way I am?”

“The issue is, the person you accepted to be is someone who loves to ignore things like taking responsibility or taking your job as a superhero seriously, then blames his own shortcomings on other people,” Chat Noir responded. “You call yourself a hero, yet you couldn’t care less about pulling your weight in a battle, relying on your partner to do everything for you instead.”

“That’s not true!” Adrichat protested. He didn’t know how, but this guy always managed to rile him up. Chat Noir then lowered his head slightly, still glaring at him.

“Oh, really? Because I have noticed that you hadn’t bothered to show up for any of the Akuma attacks lately,” he replied. “Why?”

“That is none of your business,” Adrichat snapped back. Chat Noir took a sharp breath.

“Fine, then let’s review your actions during the battle against the Sentimonster,” he said, walking up towards the edge of the building, staring at the city. “As mentioned previously, you had managed to remain focused during the battle, thinking ahead instead of acting reckless and keeping your partner safe when she was losing her mind over the possibility that her previous partner went on a rampage.” Chat Noir gazed at Adrichat. “How come you never showed those qualities before?”

“Perhaps because I’m in charge of the humor department,” Adrichat replied. “Someone needs to keep things light and I’ll gladly take that responsibility. Besides, M’lady knows how to figure that out. We obviously weren’t able to work together as a team when I was Cat Walker, meaning that Cat Noir is the one and only partner for her.”

“What about your experience as Cat Walker? Are you going to incorporate any of it in your battles?” Chat Noir asked.

“Why should I? I already told you, Cat Walker didn’t work,” Adrichat replied. “Or rather, it worked so well that M’lady decided that Cat Noir should return. She even told me I was irreplaceable.”

“I see...” Chat Noir muttered, gazing back at the city, the soft breeze brushing away his hair. “What about the fact that you quit?”

“Does it even matter? I returned,” Adrichat asked, not understanding what Chat Noir’s problem was. Chat Noir simply sighed, his eyes narrowing.

Why bother then?

He glanced at back at Adrichat. “How much does being Cat Noir mean to you?”

“Well, a lot-”

“Then why did you quit?”

“Uh, well, because Ladybug didn’t include me...”

“So, you’re saying that you’re refusing to fulfill your duty as a superhero just because you’re not getting special treatment,” Chat Noir interrupted him, his tail flicking as he turned around, facing Adrichat. His eyes were narrowed as he glared at his younger counterpart. “Why exactly makes you think that all of this is just a game? What exactly makes you think that you have the right to be called a hero after refusing to show up to help everyone?”

“Why does it matter? For your information, I am doing my job-”

“Yeah, when you bother to show up!”

“Why should I bother to show up when Ladybug has everything under control?” Adrichat snapped back furiously. “It’s great that she told me that I’m irreplaceable, but I wouldn’t mind if she said that more often. Besides, I love her - isn’t that enough of a proof of my loyalty to her? What more am I supposed to do?”

“How about you stop being so self-centered for once and think how your actions affect your partner?!” Chat Noir shouted at him, completely enraged. For a moment, a flash of Bridgette’s tearful gaze flashed through his mind. He took a moment before calming down, taking a deep breath. “The Miraculous you wear- You can choose whether you want to be Cat Noir. You have the freedom, no, the privilege to be a superhero, to be someone people look up to for protection. It is a responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly, yet you act like your ring is a toy you can throw away when you’re not satisfied with how you’re being treated.” Chat Noir clenched his fists. “However, Ladybug, your Ladybug, does not have this kind of freedom. Because of your own selfishness and self-centeredness, you cannot see what kind of burden she has to bear, a burden you two were supposed to share. Unlike you, she doesn’t have the choice, the freedom to quit.”

“Why would she? She promised me that she would always there for me,” Adrichat replied coolly. “But what about you? Why do you constantly criticize me? I don’t need your advice as I prefer doing things my way. After all, my way of being a hero works, so why should I change anything about myself? Are you trying to turn me into a copy of yourself?”

“I agree, I could spend my time better than keeping an eye on you,” Chat Noir replied in a resigned tone. “I guess I really set the bar too high when I asked you to do the bare minimum of your job, to at least not be reckless, but I see that nothing will penetrate that thick skull of yours. You’re a hopeless case.”

“If I’m a hopeless case, then what about you? Don’t tell me that you didn’t make any mistakes?” Adrichat replied, grinning when he saw a shadow falling over his older counterpart’s expression. For a moment, there was nothing but silence as Chat Noir reflected on his past.

“I won’t deny that I did make mistakes,” Chat Noir replied in a heavy tone.

“Ha! And you’re telling me how I should act!” Adrichat said in a victorious tone. Chat Noir just ignored him.

“Unfortunately for you, our situations couldn’t be any more different,” he continued, with Adrichat giving him a confused look. “Out of the two of us, you’re the one who has the better life.”

“How can I have the better life when M’lady doesn’t even want to reciprocate my feelings?” Adrichat protested. 

Chat Noir just shook his head. “If that’s your greatest problem, then I don’t feel any pity for you.”

“Fine, so what is your problem? What makes us so different?” Adrichat asked, crossing his arms.

Chat Noir just lifted his hand, the ring in the shape of a cat’s head gleaming in the moonlight. “The difference is that I understand the weight of my burden and that I had resolved to carry it on my own rather than force someone else to carry it for me.”

“What burden?” Adrichat asked, wondering what his counterpart was talking about. They were the same, right? Chat Noir gazed at him, his green eyes gleaming. It felt as if he knew what was going through Adrichat’s head.

“The Ring of the Black Cat is a curse I cannot remove, no matter how much I want,” Chat Noir told him. “The moment I put this ring on, I was cursed to have bad luck no matter what I do. Day by day, I have to deal with my belongings being destroyed and being ridiculed by other people for having something bad happen to me... or them. I have to isolate myself to not affect others with my bad luck.” He scoffed. “As a matter of fact, if I use it for selfish purposes, I am the one who receives good luck, albeit at the expense of other people. I have to hurt others to have a normal life!”

He turned his head away, clenching his fists. “I never wanted to be a hero. As a matter of fact, I resented having to put this suit on, this persona of someone I was forced to become.”

“Well, if you hate being Chat Noir so much, why don’t you just quit?” Adrichat asked.

“Are you deaf? I already told you that I cannot remove it!” Chat Noir yelled back in a moment of heat, before composing himself. “There is a way, though. But after what I went through, I don’t believe that I’m going to take that path, ever.”

“Why not?” Adrichat asked.

“Because it involves hurting the one I care about the most,” Chat Noir said, feeling a heavy weight in his chest, remembering Bridgette screaming at him for his lies, crying as she learned the terms of his condition and telling him that she hated him for his betrayal. He knew that he broke her heart and he regretted it. He had shattered her whole world and he felt ashamed for doing so. All that because he wanted a normal life. “For you, Cat Noir represents freedom, fun and flirting with your partner, hoping she would fall in love with you,” he said, not hiding the disdain in his voice. “For me, Chat Noir represents responsibility, sacrifice and putting the wishes and desires of others, the people I save, and especially my own partner, over my own. It represents a curse I will never be able to remove, a previous life I will never be able to gain back.”

He opened his palm, the dark energy crackling through his fingers. He knew that he could easily curse Adrichat if he wanted and watch him stumble through his life plagued by bad luck. It was so easy.

“I admit, there were times where I faltered. We all do, we’re humans after all. No one is perfect,” Chat Noir continued, clenching his palm into a fist, the dark energy sparking around it. “The point is, I have learned from my experience and I have grown. I accepted this life, I accepted that I would suffer for the sake of another person’s happiness. I accepted Chat Noir into my life. This is not a matter of who I am, but a matter of welcoming something that will not benefit me in any way, shape or form.”

He turned his back towards Adrichat, then looked back, adding in a scornful tone, “From what I’ve seen, you had been given all of the benefits of a superhero on a silver platter, without having to suffer from any consequences, yet you demand more. Honestly, that isn’t only frustrating, but also depressing to see.”

Chat Noir then scoffed, adding in a mocking tone, “But, how should I know? I am not you.”

He smiled. 

“As a matter of fact, I’m glad that I’m nothing like you.”

Chat Noir then leapt off the building, vanishing into the night.

Up Ladybug (Story)

Story Archives (Chapter List/Story Analyzer)

[adhd-adept]

I have self diagnosed adhd and i was wondering if you could provide some advice regarding reading. I used to be able to just pick up a book and read when i was younger, but now that I'm older it's a bit difficult to just pick up a book and read for the sake of reading. I love reading, but i just can't seem to motivate myself to.

Any advice? I'd really love to get back into reading, but I'm trying to find a way to do it easier

Hello! I’m sorry this took me so long to answer, I’ve been mostly off Tumblr for a little while. I saw this some time ago at 3AM and thought “this deserves a more coherent response than I can give right now” and then forgot that this blog existed for several days.

That said, I absolutely have some advice for reading! I was a big reader as a kid, too, and I’ve recently had to re-discover reading after a long gap in any time spent sitting down with an honest-to-goodness book. There are a number of things you might consider!

DISTRACTIONS

First and foremost, recognize the reason it is difficult to read! For me, it is because reading isn’t the most interesting thing available. That doesn’t mean I don’t love reading! If I can manage to sit down and read a book, it is immensely satisfying - but it’s the satisfaction of the effort you put into something paying off. My favorite hobbies - drawing, writing, reading - are my favorite because of that sense of accomplishment that they give me. 

I love the feeling of holding a book and watching my bookmark move through the pages each time I set it down. However, it doesn’t give me the same instant gratification of reading wikipedia, or tvtropes, or scrolling Tumblr, or checking notifications on social media; even when I am unsatisfied, or even frustrated, with the internet, it can be very hard to put down. I know that people will tell you all the time “You need to put your phone down more!!” It gets old. But they have a point. What people don’t tell you is how to do that. 

For me, that tends to be about making it inconvenient for myself to get online, or do whatever is distracting me. This doesn’t necessarily mean making it completely unavailable. The distraction just needs to be less available than the task I want to do. I am the kind of person who gets online out of muscle memory, and then gets stuck there. Thus, many of my tricks rely on disrupting the muscle memory that lets you pick up distractions. I will put my laptop charger in another room, so that my screen time is limited to its battery life. I might tie a string around my laptop, or tape it closed, so when I go to open it I will be reminded “Oh yeah, I don’t want to do this right now.” I will occasionally rearrange the apps on my phone, so when I try to open Instagram and end up with the weather app instead, the thought of “wait, how did i get here” will snap me out of the thoughtless habits that led me to pick up my phone in the first place. I’ve even gone so far as to tape my phone to the ceiling. Whatever works.

If the weather permits, I might also walk a little ways down the block and find somewhere to sit and read. This can come with its own distractions, but it gets me away from my laptop, and I get a tiny bit more exercise and sunshine than I would have otherwise! This depends, of course, on whether you have transportation and whether you feel safe. But getting yourself out of the house can be a great way to get away from the things that would otherwise draw you away from reading. If you have a local cafe or library that permits you to sit and stay, those are also great options! I will bring my phone when I leave the house, but I might put it at the bottom of my bag, or put a bit of scotch tape over the power button, so that I have my phone in case of emergency but it’s just slightly inconvenient to get to without thinking about it.

It may not be the internet distracting you. But whatever the distraction is, it doesn’t need to be less compelling than reading. It just needs to be less readily available than your book is!

ENTHUSIASM

Another thing that prevents me from reading is that it often doesn’t have the same sense of urgency that other tasks might, whether that urgency is real or not. Give yourself a time limit! I may own books I haven’t read yet, but I will get to a book sooner if I have borrowed it from the library, because I know there is a deadline to return it! 

You can also get other people involved. If you have a friend who wants to read the same book, commit to a chapter or two a week and then call to discuss it. 

Or, if you have a friend who would be interested, and you are comfortable with your reading voice, you could read to someone! It might feel weird to offer, but you’d be surprised how many people really do enjoy being read to. If you both have time in your schedules, you could try to set up a regular call to get through a few chapters at a time. 

Generally, having a friend who likes the book is great for maintaining enthusiasm, even if they’re not reading it with you - I get to books faster if someone with similar taste says “This is one of my favorites! You would love it!” If you have a friend who has read the book you plan on reading, announce to them that you intend on reading it. Their enthusiasm might help you feel more compelled to read it, and there’s a good chance that if you don’t sit down and read it, they will remind you by asking “Have you read it yet? What do you think?” the next time you talk to them.

PREPARATION

Another great way to make reading easier is to set up a reading space beforehand. It’s one thing to pick up a book and say “I’ve been meaning to read this.” It’s another thing to put on some pajama pants, make a cup of tea, and curl a soft blanket around your shoulders before you settle down to read. For one thing, it’s just nice. But more importantly, it can function as a signal that tells your brain “it is Reading Time now. We are in the Reading Zone.”

Do you ever watch a TV show or listen to a podcast, and you let the theme song play on the first episode, and then skip it for the rest? Even if I’ve watched a show before, I will play the theme song on the first episode I watch that day. It’s the same principle - it serves as a transition, an intro that says “this is where I am now, and this is what I’m doing.” Give yourself an intro for reading! Have a certain spot that you like to sit when you read. Have a certain snack you eat beforehand.

I have all kinds of tasks with little “rituals” before them that help me focus on that task, or certain items that I interact with which I associate with it. I call them “declarations of intent,” and once I’ve made a declaration it’s easier to commit to it. Sometimes that means simply saying out loud, “I am going to do the laundry now.” Sometimes it means I wear a certain shirt if I’m planning to go for a walk that day, or drink from a certain mug at breakfast if I want to get some homework done. I have a specific hat that I put on when I want to write a certain character. Try to find something you can do to act as a cue that says “When I do this, then I will read a book.” Because of this, it can help to really lean into whatever the “aesthetic” of reading is, in your mind. Embrace a reading atmosphere!

It may also help to recognize that reading is something you can work your way up to! There is no shame in being out of practice with a hobby. I took my reading proficiency for granted for a long time because it was just a part of my life. It may help to think of reading as a skill! Start with something smaller and work your way up. Pick up a book of short stories or folktales before you tackle that six-book series you’ve heard good things about! Set achievable goals for yourself when you’re setting out. An early success can make a huge difference to morale, and it’s much better to start “too easy” and accomplish something than to jump in at the deep end and be frustrated by an early setback.

FORGIVENESS

On the topic of working your way up to things, I would like to say a word about mindset. It is easy to feel self-critical about things. Things that you think should come more easily to you. Things that you feel like you have no reason not to be able to do. One of the biggest things I’ve done for my ADHD is recognizing that there is always a reason why I behave a certain way. Accepting that allows me to actually address my struggles, rather than just feeling ashamed of them. I’ve had to accept that I won’t always do things that I set out to do the way I set out to do them.

I bring this up because not all of my advice here may work for you. In fact, some of it doesn’t work for me every time - a technique may work once, but I might fail to make a regular habit of it. I may make a regular habit of something, only to have it become less effective as the novelty of it, or my enthusiasm for it, wears off. I may eventually talk myself out of implementing an effective strategy because there is some part of it that I find unpleasant; or an intentional unpleasantness I once found motivating may eventually become intolerable.

That’s okay. I’m telling you now, it’s okay if that happens. It’s okay if the first method you try doesn’t work. Don’t set yourself up to feel frustrated. If you become frustrated, take a step back. If you borrow a library book and you still haven’t read it by the due date, just give it back. If you don’t actually enjoy the first book you pick up, put it down and try a different one. If you feel badly about not reading something your friend wants you to read, be honest and tell them you have a hard time sitting down, and that you don’t want to disappoint them if they keep asking, but that you will let them know once you have started it!

It can be easy to convince myself that feeling badly about something means it’s important to me, and that maybe if I feel bad about not doing something, it  motivate me to do it. There is a balance between making commitments, and not committing to anything that is just going to distress me. Sometimes there is a benefit to a sense of pressure, but I have to recognize when the pressure I create turns into frustration. That’s a fine line to walk! For all I speak of inconveniencing yourself, or holding yourself accountable, your strategies should ultimately feel satisfying, and show results fairly quickly! You may not see immediate results, but if it has been several days and your strategy isn’t working out, change tactics! And the moment you feel apologetic or ashamed about the thing you are trying to do, drop that strategy. Again, this can be easier said than done, but it is so worthwhile to learn how to allow yourself to “give up” on things that aren’t actually helping you, without feeling like you’re giving up entirely.

You want to get back into reading again because you want to enjoy reading again. If you set it up to feel like homework, or a chore, or an obligation, you may make it more difficult for yourself! Getting back into reading is about focusing on what you love about reading.

And hey, I’m always happy to help! I do only check Tumblr every couple weeks right now, but I’ll do what I can to be supportive. If you’ve tried these suggestions and they don’t work out, no worries! Everyone is different, and it’s no insult to me if things that work for me don’t work for you. But feel free to reach out again, let me know anything you have learned about how you function best in the meantime, and we can reevaluate your strategies!

I hope that helps! Happy reading!

[tell-me-again]

ROYAL NIRVANA —final thoughts

Watched the entire show in about 3 days.

No drama has made me weep this hard. I have watched nirvana in fire and it still didn’t make me ache as much as this one did. The production quality, the politics, the cast and the costuming is great.

Tbh I wasn’t really that invested on the main pairing all that much, it was mostly due to my personal preference as romance in drama is not my cup of tea but even then, the relationship just seemed so forced? The actors are amazing and Luo Jin clearly did a fantastic job as the main lead and same goes for Ms Li Yitong as dear Abao, but I couldn’t help but feel it being dragged.

The biggest complaint relating to the two characters, maybe the show itself, is the whole hidden identity plotline that they tried so hard to make work but flopped. Atleast for a good chunk of the show the writers desperately wanted us to keep us impatient for the revelation, but each new episode came, more reasons came to dislike the otp. The suffering the girl goes through is first. Also , there is happy music playing because ml and fl are back together so suddenly when just a moment ago the ml had punished the fl by flocking her(though he is not aware of her true identity yet)

Also allow me to mourn the missed opportunities! Instead of not dumbing her down and letting the cp know beforehand so they can be awesome partner in crimes, they instead opt to turn her into a fool and the root of all trouble. I mean for the love of GOD just let him know, he fell into like 20 traps and caught trust issues because you can’t tell him your name and make it easier for all of us. At first I could understand why she hid her identity cuz i mean she is the daughter of a convicted man who was executed, but as the episodes went by I found myself begging the gods to end it all. Not to mention the abuse was just so unnecessary??? Like the very foundation of this show relies on the cp and how kind he is and how everything done against him is justified, but then he turns around and shows us that to people lower than him, he is capable of just as much cruelty as his father.

Which oh boy….his FATHER of whom i will talk about in another post but yes, back to the ml and fl.

Given the time period tho I understood. The drama itself is trying to depict the more harsher and real side of politics and given heavy inspiration from patriarchal Song Dynasty, I am not suprised and didn’t really necessarily turn me off from the ML. And I wouldn’t even mention this here if it weren’t for the fact that the scene when he found out about ml being Mr Lu’s daughter fell FLAT. Acting wasn’t the problem but the writing. It lasted for like 2 minutes? Torturing that lasted for what i understand , months, and 2 minutes of reconciliation. Maybe I remember it wrong but it was just so, it was not up to the mark.

Other than this, i had no issues with the romance plot, tho I wasn’t the most attentive student anyway. As far as I am concerned i was here for politics and OH BOY did they d e l i v e r

Alot…actually, quenched my thirst AND gave me hyponatremia. There were times when i could not catch up, and I don’t even remember the draggy small plots around ep30-43 ish? the translation work also isn’t the best, but beggars can’t be choosy.

The drama gets draggy around the middle but then shoots off near the end again.

[solalunar-eclipse]

SYCS - 1 Year Anniversary

Chapter title: Set In Stone

Word count: about 4000 words

Next

Author’s Note: On July 26, 2020, I posted the first chapter of Scars You Can’t See. One year later, I’ve written five stories of varying lengths and am currently working on a sixth (wow)! My writing’s come a long way since then, and a lot of my improvement is thanks to everyone who encourages me to continue said writing, whether it’s through likes, reblogs, or comments. Thank you all so much for your support so far! :)

This is a rewrite of the very first chapter of SYCS, since the original could use a little fixing. Some important notes: I’ve edited a few parts of the story to be more in character, Chapter 2 starts in a different place after this updated version, and I’ve also fixed up chapter 13 because apparently I forgot to finish the motif I started?? Somehow??? At least I remembered eventually...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the (revised) story!

Before, Shadow had always been able to just ignore what it meant to work for G.U.N.

He’d managed somehow to convince himself to brush aside the fact that the soldiers he worked with (had been coerced into working with) wore the same uniforms as those who killed Maria, his dear sister and first friend. To push away any idea that he couldn’t deal with serving the same organization that had once wanted him dead. (It was the only way to stay with his friends, of course he could deal.)

The same thing went for using guns during the Black Arms invasion- even though he’d had amnesia, he remembered enough that he’d needed to rely on adrenaline near constantly just to make it through those times. Despite this, he had still taken the better part of a month to recover afterwards.

His memories of that day were particularly fresh for a while.

Once the invasion had been successfully repelled, G.U.N. had hired him to work for them very rapidly, as a matter of fact. During the process, some of the people along the way strongly suggested that if the organization wasn’t able to keep an eye on him, then…well, then they’d be very displeased. 

Shadow knew all too well that you did not want G.U.N. displeased with you.

The hybrid felt nothing but exhausted as these thoughts whirled through his head for the hundredth time. They’d only become a major problem recently, ever since the military organization had begun to require him to resume using guns on his missions. Every single time he touched one, the cold steel left his palms slick inside his gloves and made his head swim with flashes of memories too often repressed. Still, he had to use them- he’d be taken off missions entirely if he refused, and Shadow would never leave Rouge and Omega in the lurch like that.

However, his mental health had been growing ever worse these past few weeks as a result. He thought (hoped) he’d done a good job of hiding it from Rouge and Omega, but Shadow had been sparring with Sonic noticeably less. The hybrid had struggled with the idea of inflicting more violence on others in his spare time, and the hero had asked him about it several times, trying to figure out the reason for his sudden change in behavior.

Shadow shook his head, pushing his doubts and worries away just as he always had before. He couldn’t allow himself to become distracted by his thoughts- they might spill over into missions if he wasn’t careful. Forcing himself to focus on his schedule for the day and nothing else, he walked out of his room to take on whatever might come his way.

…

He was skating through the halls of an old, decrepit building (currently being used as a hideout by Eggman) on a mission. A robot stepped into his path.

Shadow hadn’t used his weapon yet on this assignment. He remembered the thinly veiled threat after his first refusal- we may have to remove you from missions if you cannot handle this responsibility- and felt a cold sweat break out on the back of his neck.

He shut his eyes, whipped out the firearm, and pulled the trigger. Flinching at the sound out of instinct, he refused to open his eyes until the gun was away, when he didn’t have to see it anymore. The robot lay on the ground, a smoking hole in its center. He tried to ignore the lingering sensation of the G.U.N. logo embossed on the handgrip in his palm.

Shadow felt the floor tilt for a moment under him before he regained his bearings.

He refused to look at the machine as he rushed by.

…

The exhausted hedgehog curled up in bed at night, unable to keep himself from hearing gunshots over and over and over. He fought against the memories of that day, refused to let them spill over into his thoughts.

Yet despite his best efforts, he knew he’d dream of it again tonight. He knew that he’d wake up screaming with her name in his mouth and the sight of blood still burned into his eyes. It had happened every night since he’d received the weapon.

Shadow swallowed down his fearful apprehension over what would come next. He forced himself to breathe deeply, to close his eyes, even though he wished to do the exact opposite. Dreams were not real. He could not let them hold power over him.

But still, he shivered as he tried to fall asleep.

…

He and Omega were standing in the center of a courtyard, broken badnik scrap lying all around them. This mission was supposed to be easy, just a simple in-and-out. Take out the bots, grab the intel, and go.

Rouge had asked them to cover for her as she searched for information in the abandoned computers alone. Shadow hadn’t liked the idea of leaving her alone but agreed grudgingly anyway.

He looked down at the firearm he held in his hands and tried his hardest not to cringe.

Flashes of memories threatened to surface again, of escape pods and gunshots and too much blood-

“Shadow.”

He jumped, not expecting Omega’s loud voice so suddenly.

“Yes, what is it?”

“You have been distracted for nearly ten minutes. Are you unwell?”

Shadow sighed, projecting a relaxed attitude. “Everything is fine. I was simply thinking.”

“About what?” Omega asked curiously.

“Nothing much.”

Silence descended upon the two again for a minute. 

“Shadow.” the E-series robot repeated.

“What.” he snapped, sounding more irritated than he’d intended.

“Tell me what you were thinking about. You looked distressed.”

“I’m fine, alright?” Shadow insisted. “Just- forget it, Omega.”

Omega stepped closer. “Past experience has informed me that you tend to hide important thoughts from others. Therefore, I will assume that this is essential knowledge until proven otherwise.”

“It’s not important.”

The robot placed his hand on Shadow’s shoulder. The latter wouldn’t admit it, but the weight was comforting, in a way.

“This is not adequate proof. Do you not trust me, Shadow?”

He sighed. “I do trust you, Omega. You know that.”

“Then talk.” Omega’s processors whirred for a moment, before adding, “Please.”

The hybrid’s shoulders slumped- he knew his friend wouldn’t stop until he told the truth. “I was thinking, how weird is it, that I work for the same organization that ki-...caused my sister’s-” He paused on the word, fighting not to trip over his sentences. “-death and...attempted to cause mine. Among other things. And how now...I must use weapons like the ones that took her from me...to harm others.” He sighed, nearly worn out just from the effort of discussing that event’s existence.

Omega jerked away from him, startling Shadow. “G.U.N. is the organization that killed your sister?” he asked, sounding- if it were possible- shocked.

“And the one that locked me away in cryostasis for 50 years, yes.” Shadow said, feigning calm.

Omega made a staticky noise that sounded like a sharp exhale. “Shadow. Why did nobody tell me this before? And why in the name of Chaos do you still work here?”

Shadow looked away, hiding the bitterness in his expression. “Multiple reasons. One, the organization has somewhat cleaned up its act, as far as I can tell. Two, it wants to keep me under surveillance, since I am still ‘potentially dangerous’ to them...and consequences would be severe if I did not obey.”

He tapped his heel on the ground. “Also, it was one of the main avenues for us to become heroes. Unlike Sonic and his friends, we don’t have the luxury of fighting someone who wants us to know where they are. And you know we didn’t exactly have the best record with law enforcement beforehand.”

“Still.” Omega replied. “I am highly opposed to the concept of fighting in the name of such an organization. Have they at least apologized to you? Or admitted their wrongdoing?”

Shadow frowned, thinking. “No, actually, they never did.”

Why did he have to bring this up? There’s no point in talking about what’s past. Let’s just get over it and move on.

Omega looked down, his eyes dimming slightly. “Processing.”

He was still processing by the time Rouge arrived, and remained mostly silent for their exit, post-mission briefing and the entire ride home.

Once the three had gotten inside, Rouge faced the E-series robot. “Alright, what’s up with you? You’re never quiet, but you’ve barely said a word since I got back.”

“I am considering an important decision.” Omega said.

“Oh? And what might that be?” she asked, folding her arms.

“My potential resignation from the government organization known as G.U.N..”

“Wait, what?” Rouge gasped. 

Shadow shouted out from the other room simultaneously. “Omega, what are you thinking?!”

“Current logic process is as follows: G.U.N. hurt one of the few decent people on this planet and my friend fifty years ago by murdering Maria Robotnik and many others aboard the ARK, as well as imprisoning him for said fifty years against his will. It has not apologized or shown remorse for those actions. Therefore, this organization clearly has no respect for Shadow, and therefore I refuse to aid them one moment longer.”

Shadow appeared at the robot’s side, placing a hand on his arm. “Thank you, Omega, but you don’t need to do that for me. I’m alright with this.”

(He was lying, of course.)

“Hold on a minute here, Omega’s got a point.” Rouge said pensively. “I started working here so I wouldn’t go to jail for stealing, but I’ve served my ‘sentence’ ages ago. Honestly, I kind of hate it there anyway? Like, nobody even respects us and it’s got way too much bureaucracy and too many outdated ideas. It’d be much better if it was just the three of us doing our own thing away from them, wouldn’t it?”

“Besides, hon, you’ve got to start standing up against those guys. I know you were going through a major existential crisis a while back when this all started, and that was the main thing you had to deal with. But now that you’ve started to figure everything out, it’s time to stop letting people treat you this way! We don’t have to give G.U.N. anything. They never helped you at all.”

“Agreed.” Omega said. “This organization does not deserve you- or any of us. They have wronged you, and though forgiveness is supposedly a ‘virtue’, it is likely so only when it is deserved.”

Shadow stared at the two of them. “That was...actually kind of philosophical for a minute. And convincing.” He huffed, frustrated, his hands curling into fists. “I just…how would I even go about dealing with my grievances with an entire military organization? I would need proof...and I don’t want to damage my standing with the government. G.U.N. can easily claim that I have gone rogue.” 

He swallowed, trying to ignore the various insecurities at the corners of his mind. “I’m just...should I really be digging all of this up again? I’ve finally started to get over it…”

“Okay, so first of all, hon, you’d better not let G.U.N. walk all over you just because they can make up fake blackmail.” the bat insisted. “And second, you’re clearly not over it. Shadow...I can hear you when you wake up from your nightmares, you know. You deserve some kind of closure to help you, and if G.U.N. won’t give it to you, then you have to take it.

“Also, here’s another thing- how much worse would you feel if G.U.N. hurt someone else, and we had never said anything to warn anyone?”

Shadow stiffened, feeling ill again. The very idea was abhorrent. That another person’s Maria could be lost due to his silence...“That...that would be unimaginable….” he breathed.

“Exactly.” Rouge replied. “So, consider it.”

Shadow frowned. “I...I’ll keep it in mind. But we should at least see if they’ll do something first before we try to attack them. We might be able to convince them to make amends, after all. I mean, if we fight, we’ll be completely out of a job, and I don’t know if the funds from Club Rouge will be enough to keep us afloat- if we succeed. It’s too risky, at least for now.”

“If that’s what you want to do, then we can definitely stick with that to start.” the bat said. “I don’t know if I could’ve taken any of their apologies if it were me, but it’s not my life, it’s yours. So I’ll be right with you no matter what you decide to do, okay?”

“As will I.” Omega added, placing a hand on Shadow’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Rouge. Thanks, Omega.” the hybrid said, finally allowing relief to show on his face as he looked at his friends.

He couldn’t help but feel that with them by his side, everything would be alright.

…

They talked through most of the night about how to bring it up, what they would say, and even where they would sit to keep Shadow feeling as safe as he could. The hybrid had final veto power over anything the other two suggested, and he tried to keep the wording of the speech he’d give as controlled and polite as possible. 

However, he tried not to bring up the “maybe G.U.N. still thinks I’m a weapon to be stored and used, not a person” topic during his proposal. Those insecurities could wait for another day.

They fell asleep late at night, all three in the same room- Shadow made a blanket nest on the floor, Omega plugged himself into the wall, and Rouge was on her bed.

Pleasantly enough, Shadow didn’t have any nightmares that night.

…

“You want us to do what?” 

The head of the public relations department stood behind his desk, cutting a slightly dominating figure in front of the team in his room. Omega could easily detect an increased heart rate in Shadow. He was not betraying any nervousness externally, however, and the robot was impressed by his friend’s willpower.

The PR head sat down, and he gestured for Team Dark to do the same. However, since there were only two chairs in the room (as they had known), Omega remained standing. Among other things, it would allow him to more easily defend his friends should the talk go awry.

“I’m afraid we just can’t do that kind of thing...Shadow.” He said the last word like it was distasteful, like it didn’t belong in his mouth. (Or, perhaps, like he wanted to add a “Project” or “Experiment” to the front of it, but didn’t for fear of a missile to the face delivered by Omega.)

“Why not?” The hybrid asked. “Sir,” he forced himself to add politely. “Don’t you agree that it was wrong? That G.U.N.’s soldiers shouldn’t have done...what they did?”

“I am incredibly saddened that Miss Robotnik’s death occurred in the search for you, and that the head of G.U.N. at the time considered you unworthy of any basic living rights.” the PR leader said, sounding more than anything like he was reading a script off a teleprompter. “However, I am not going to make a public statement digging up something that happened fifty years ago.”

Rouge leaned forward in her chair furiously. “So you’re just going to pretend it never happened? What about the trauma Shadow experienced? What about the fact that this kind of thing could happen again?”

The leader looked at her coldly. “I can assure you that this is an isolated incident, and that such an occurrence has not happened before or since.”

“But you can't just-! Can’t we speak with the commander?” Rouge gasped, outraged.

“I can, and I will. And you know very well that the commander is taking a well-deserved vacation, and we are not to disturb him for any reason except an emergency. Now then. Did you have anything else you needed?” he said smugly.

Omega was so, so close to just arming the missile launcher anyway.

Shadow looked up at him carefully, clearly going over the words in his head. “Sir. May I respectfully ask why G.U.N. considered it necessary to arm me? I can apply lethal force if necessary in other manners.”

The PR head frowned. “Close quarters are not necessarily a safe space for you, Shadow. We need you alive, and if that means you’re farther back, then so be it.”

“But- me? Destroying with impunity? In such a cold, distant manner? That’s not what G.U.N. wants to see from me, I thought. And with my experiences, I really don’t think-”

The human folded his arms. “Don’t worry about thinking, just worry about completing your missions on time. And what’s past is past, right? Now then, I expect no more complaints from you three. This meeting is concluded.”

Shadow stood up stiffly. “Yes, sir.”

Rouge froze. “Wait, Shadow, you’re not just going to-”

“We’re leaving, Rouge. Now.” Shadow said firmly, but the two other members of Team Dark could hear the unsteadiness in his voice. Omega remained silent, but internally was playing a very nice simulation in which he repeatedly punched the head of the PR department.

Once they had exited the office and walked through the facility for a while, Shadow leaned heavily against a wall. “He’s not sorry at all.” he muttered. The robot didn’t need his sensors to tell that he was experiencing far too many negative feelings at once. It wasn’t healthy for organics to deal with all that all the time…

“Agreed.” Omega said. “I would not be surprised in the least if he was lying throughout all of it.”

Rouge sighed, before pulling an unresisting Shadow into a hug. “Honey, I’m...” She paused for a second. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. You shouldn’t have to cope with people like that, ever.”

Shadow closed his eyes quietly and stood like that for a long time. Eventually, though, he spoke up. “.....I know what we have to do. I...I know we need to fight, like you said last night. I don’t feel ready, but just…it has to happen.”

Omega looked down at them both. “You two go out to the car. I will go and get your sister’s files myself while you take a few minutes, Shadow. I am bulletproof and the most likely to make it out unscathed, and if I need help I can call.”

Rouge rolled her shoulders briefly, her wings flexing. “Alright. I’ll be ready to get out of here the second you get in. Sound good?”

“Alright.” Omega agreed. “Let’s go.”

The robot marched down the halls, on a mission. He stopped first to gather everything from their office- or at least all of their personal items. They might need them later, after all. He placed them into his empty chest compartment (he hadn’t refilled on weaponry in a while) and moved on. 

The lower levels of the G.U.N. facility were darker and less well-maintained. This was most likely on purpose, to keep people from wanting to go down there. Omega, however, did not fear the dark. He had a flashlight, and a hulking five-foot robot was usually enough to scare most creatures.

Thankfully, the guards stationed throughout these levels knew him, and simply stepped aside to let Omega pass. Quite a few of them were honestly nervous down there themselves, and barely even noticed him.

He noticed a small door marked ‘Records Room- Classified’ and knew he was in the right place. The door did not give him access, but that was alright. Rouge had hacked the system a while back and given herself the highest clearance possible...and now Omega had her spare card.

Once he was inside, he scanned the cabinets methodically until he found the file marked ‘Maria Robotnik’. Inside were papers detailing her death and her life. Everything one could have wanted to know about her was inside. 

The red stamp on the front reading ‘Terminated’ was pretty ominous, and Omega briefly wondered if he would be able to remove it. He considered the possibility that Shadow would not be quite so pained upon seeing it if the stamp were gone.

It was unlikely, and so he moved on.

Omega exited the room, hoping that the guards in the security monitor room were slacking off. They often were, so he calculated at least a 70% chance of exiting the facility without incident. He placed the file inside his compartment and continued on.

Being a robot meant that he could not act nervous. Therefore, nobody questioned him as he walked through the halls and outside, where he saw Rouge talking to Shadow inside their black-and-red car.

The hybrid appeared to be rather panicked about the whole plan, so as Omega slid into the backseat, he placed his hand on his friend’s head for a brief moment. “Everything is going to be alright, Shadow. I promise you that.”

Shadow sighed and slumped back against the seat. “Let’s get out of here before someone notices what we did.”

Rouge pulled out of the parking lot with a screech of the tires and didn’t let the speedometer dip below fifty until they got home.

“Right.” she said, once they were all inside. “We’ll probably have G.U.N. beating down our door by tomorrow morning, so let’s make sure they don’t catch us still here by then. Omega, refill your weapons and pack us some clothes and stuff. Shadow, you just try and chill. I’m going to look over this file.”

As Rouge flipped through the pages, Shadow decided that he needed to see these for himself and walked over to stand behind her. Before long, though, he recoiled in shock upon seeing that when G.U.N. discussed Maria’s death, they justified it. Made it seem like Shadow was the villain. A monster. A weapon.

“Shadow?” the bat asked.

“...yes?”

“You know we can’t use this by itself, right? We need more proof. Like, video proof.” she said, sounding resigned.

“I know.” he said quietly, disappointed that so little had changed despite the fact that half a century and some new management had taken place. 

Omega cursed out G.U.N. from the other room in response and came over to them, his eyes in their ‘angry’ shape. “We need to stop them now. This revolting organization does not deserve to spend another minute active anywhere on the planet.”

“Let’s get them, then.” Rouge hissed, clearly furious as well. 

Shadow felt terribly apprehensive, but despite that, he agreed as well. “Then they won’t be able to hurt anyone else in the future.” he said, sounding more determined than he had in a while.

“You ready, guys?” the bat asked, holding out her hand in the midst of their little group.

Omega allowed his giant metal hand to hover over hers. “Always.”

Rouge looked at the hybrid. “You sure you’re up for this, hon?”

“Not entirely…” Shadow admitted, but took a deep breath and held out his hand too, allowing Rouge to guide his hand to Omega’s, just like she had so long ago. “...but I need to do it, and so I will.”

“Then we’ll expose them, Shadow.” she said confidently. “And we’ve totally got this, because we’re doing it together.”

And as they all clasped hands for a moment, before breaking off to head to the garage, Shadow felt like they really had a chance to succeed.

[rwby-necro-au-archive]

Death does not do you and I part completely.

Summer has a special meeting with someone in particular.

Tick tick tick

The clocks second hand went, ticking by, counting each excruciating second that he sat in that goddamn chair.

How long had he even been sitting here? Hours? Days? Weeks? It felt like he hadn’t left his office.

Could you blame him though? It was only a few months ago that the terrifying head councilman of Vale had him pinned to a wall with an iron grip around his neck, choking out every last little bit of lifesaving air he needed in order to live.

He was too scared to leave the council building. So he stayed in his office, that now seemingly small and empty office, the one with gunmetal grey walls, giant crystal clear windows, and carpet more expensive than the man himself sitting in his equally expensive chair.

Ironwood felt like he was losing his mind. Between the constant childish insults of the anons, his inability to track a location on them, and the fact that there was a chance that the people he saw around Ozpin were those only he could see, he wanted to just close his eyes for a few days.

Sleep doesn’t come for the weary though, and he had work to do. Paperwork. Of course it’s paperwork, as if his eyes weren’t already failing him with the lack of sleep.

He sighed and began his work.

Summer floated gracefully through the building, passing by countless who she couldn’t care less about, she only had 1 person in mind.

The man himself, the man who shot her in cold blood. God, how long had it been? She had been 28 when it happened, Ozpin was only 5 years into his position as councilman.

8 years at least is what it had to have been.

8 years for Summer to finally level herself out to have this conversation.

She knew he didn’t deserve patience, but she also knew that screaming at the man wouldn’t do her any good either.

Finally, after what seemed like a short eternity, she arrived at the door. A silver plate screwed into the door stated “Ironwood” in cursive.

She fazed through the door, looking around the office before seeing the person she was looking for.

And there he was, bags under his eyes, working as always, he didn’t look a day over 25. Unsurprising considering he was revived by her.

She stood and waited silently for him to notice her presence.

Ironwood continued to slave away at the busywork, getting irritated with each passing second at the fact that he had to do this while so torturously tired. He noticed that someone was now in the room with him, but paid them no mind.

“Pursuer. Get out. I am not in mood for whatever you have to say.” He spoke through gritted teeth, irritated at the insistent presence.

Summer tilted her head “I never liked how you spoke to your subordinates. Especially your younger ones.” she spoke in a gentle tone.

Ironwood froze. Rapid fire thoughts shot through his mind all at once, all telling him there’s no way the voice he was hearing was correct.

He slowly looked up, horror splashing across his features once he had done so.

In front of him stood a desaturated, dead looking and glowing version of Summer Rose. Glowing white sclera’s without Iris’s or pupils looked back at him, and an all too familiar white glowing scar graced the center of the woman’s forehead. She wore the same white cloak she had worn before, along with the same black turtleneck and floor length skirt.

Summer laughed gently “What’s wrong general? It looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Y-you’re supposed to be dead.”

“I am dead. You killed me, don’t you remember that silly?”

Ironwood sat there dumbfounded, fearful, and confused. She was dead, how was she here?

“What do you want with me?!” Ironwood demanded.

“Just to chat. I wanted to see how you’re doing after all this time. I’ve checked in with my family and friends, why wouldn’t I check in with you? Although….” She tapped a desaturated red finger to her chin.

“Although….?” He spoke nervously.

“Although….I’ve seen you around…”

“Y-you have?”

“Yes…..I saw every meeting you had with Ozzy, everytime you visited him and beacon, everytime he met you in Atlas. How sad that he had to put up with your poor treatment for that long. I’m surprised he didn’t snap sooner! Ozzy was never the kind of man to be patient like that.”

Ironwood gulped nervously. He was showing more of his fear than he’d like to, but at this point he didn’t care. “Really….?” Was Said barely about a whisper.

Summer crossed her arms and scolded the man in front of her like a child, “Mhm….and I saw you threaten my daughter. Now that wasn’t very nice, was it?”

“What are you trying to get at?”

Summer simply looked at him, silence the only thing coming from her.

“What are you getting at?!” He demanded.

She continued to stay silent, staring at him.

Ironwood slammed his hands down on the desk and gritted “Why. The hell. Are you here. To taunt me?! Make fun of me like a child?!”

Summer sighed and shook her head, refusing to speak still.

“TALK TO ME GODDAMNIT”

SMASH!

Ceramic echoed through the office as it hit the wall. Being thrown hard by ironwood in the direction of Summer.

“You can’t hurt me anymore. Don’t you know that?” She said quietly.

Ironwood gripped his head in his hands “SHUT UP!”

Summer kept her quiet tone, “I wouldn’t yell so loud. Your subordinates might hear you—“

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT THEY HEAR.”

“You seem to be the only thing I can rely on, did you know that?”

Ironwood’s gaze shot up to look at the woman, “what?”

“I can rely on you because you never change. You haven’t changed since the day I met you James. Perhaps that isn’t necessarily a good thing.”

“The fuck are you talking about?!”

“It’s why Ozpin is happy.”

“Huh?”

“Ozpin is happy because Ozpin knows how to change. He’s a tree that knows how to bend in the wind, a house that’s built to stand the tests and changes of the tide. He knows when change is needed. And although there have been many changes in his life, he appreciates them all.”

Ironwood didn’t have anything to say. He sat in his expensive chair, gripping his head in his hands, staring at the women in awe.

Summer looked sorrowfully at the man in front of her, “you, do not want to change though. A tree that doesn’t bend in the wind is a tree that will snap in half, and if there’s nobody to hear that snap and see it fall, but to only see it’s aftermath, was it ever a tree to begin with?”

“You and Ozpin will be written into history books for years to come. Ozpin will be seen as a man who despite everything being ripped from him as a child, pushed through to see the light in the world and help those less fortunate than himself. He will be seen as a hero. And you, will be seen as a man who got everything he wanted, and yet still took more from those who could never get what he took back. You will be seen as a Villain. A monster.”

Ironwood took his hands off his head and gripped his desk “No. I won’t. Atlas will write me into the history books as a hero. You’re wrong.”

“What good is a title of hero if it only serves to cover the misery that one man has caused? A false hero, is no hero at all. Humanity will always find the truth, it is in our very nature to do so.” Summer spoke.

“You’re wrong. I’ll prove you wrong. Referring back to your tree metaphor, I won’t snap in half.” Ironwood clutched the desk further, gritting his teeth.

“You will. In fact, it’s already started. There are many who will seek to be rid of you.”

“I already know about how the necromancers feel about me.”

“I’m not talking about the necromancers.”

“What?” Ironwood questioned.

Summer gave him a pitiful look and shook her head.

“ANSWER ME.” He screamed as he slammed his hands down on the desk.

Summer continued to stare sorrowfully at the man in front of her. Questioning if this was truly the man she feared so much beforehand.

He slammed his hands down on his desk again, harder, putting a crack in it “FUCKING ANSWER ME.”

She continued to stay quiet, as he continued to scream, eventually throwing things at her. None of which hitting her but rather phasing through her.

Summer turned her back to him before speaking barely above a whisper “you truly never change, James.” Before disappearing.

Ironwood stood there silently, contemplating what happened. Before he could calm down, his door was cracked open slightly.

“Sir, Are you alright?” Violet asked quietly.

“GET. OUT.” He screamed at her, slamming another fist down on his desk, putting a bigger crack in it.

She flinched before quickly closing the door and running down the hall.

Ironwood collapsed back into his expensive chair and put his head into his hands.

He sat there thinking for a while, tired, exhausted, and confused. He couldn’t even fathom what he just experienced.

Soon, he whispered something so quiet, only he, in his office, that now seemingly small and empty office, the one with gunmetal grey walls that were now dented from the objects he’d thrown, the one with crystal clear windows, and carpet more expensive than the man himself was.

“I’m losing my mind.”

[twistedlymad]

Hello there I love your writing and read your headcannons for riddle with his child it was so sweet I wanted to ask if you could also do one for jade and floyd, only if you want to(:

Let me just say: Due to me experiencing Chapter 4, I have never ever been so happy to see the faces of Azul, Jade and Floyd. I’m just kidding, I already love them when their chapter debuted XD

Of course I’d write for Jade and Floyd!! Leech twins need all the love they can get! I do hope this headcanon is up to your expectations dear Anon! Thank you for requesting and have a lovely day!!

Also, once again, this features an aged up!Jade and Floyd. Side note, the baby is half human, half merfolk!

I hope I wrote their characters well, I may need more practice writing them OwO  (P.S IDK why I spent 5 hours on this.... I hope it was worth it QwQ)

Jade Leech

Jade would be the type of father that’s calm and collected at all times. So, when he finally caught wind of the news of his child, one can only see him having a closed-eye smile on his face. Do not fret though! In fact, internally, he was over the moon! 

He couldn’t believe it at first, he was having a BABY?! A SMALL CHILD?! A LITERAL LIVING CHILD?! So, shock could be found on his face as the realization slowly sunk it’s way into his head. Then, only came the closed-eye smile that I mentioned earlier.

He would go shopping for baby products as preparation for his young one. He would also do research on what would the baby normally eat, what signs would the baby normally show when they’re feeling a certain mood and so on, after all, he hasn’t seen a human/merfolk baby before, let alone take care of one! With the research he’s done, he could apply his newfound knowledge onto the products that he buys for his young one.

Literally, everything is perfect because he is perfect.

When his baby actually arrives, a tear slides down from his eye as he hears the crying sounds of a child, the crying sounds of HIS child. He has never heard anything so precious and cute in his entire life. Once he gets a good look at his young one, more tears start to come out as the nurse hands him his young one. He lets out a gentle smile and hugs his young one close to him, silently swearing to love his young one with all his heart only give the best of the best to his precious little gem.

All the baby products he bought beforehand actually came in handy. They definitely suited his young one well! From the type of food/nutrients his young one needs to eat to the size of their clothing, Jade would have calculated everything down to it’s very last detail. 

He would try to indulge his young one into his hobbies! He would set his young one in a high chair and make small little terrariums in front of them and his young one would just watch in awe. He would explain what he was doing, the type of plants used and his young one would respond either with a small little nod or just random words that they could say.

“And this mushroom is called the Agaricus bisporus. We’ll put some of these in here so your mother can cook something for us when it grows.” “Dada-A-Goo-Ga!!” “Yes, of course! We can’t forget to do that!” 

Jade would also tuck his little one in bed every night and plant a kiss on their head as he slowly exits the room.

Oh! Swimming lessons are a must as his child is also part-merfolk! He would want his child to be able to adapt to both water and land environments at an early age, that way, his young one is able to handle walking and swimming without any problems. He doesn’t want his precious little one to be like him when he first used his legs to walk.

Jade would also teach his young one proper manners and etiquette, or at least try to. He wouldn’t enforce the manners on his young one if they’re uncomfortable with it. But, he still would set a good example for his young one and hopefully his precious one will follow in his footsteps.

He would also take the young one mountain climbing every weekend! He would bring his precious one to go for a hike or just a little walk in a baby carrier. He wants his little one to love nature as much as he does and would look forward to many MANY outdoor activities with his precious one. He would also show his little one all the different types of fauna that could be found during the little trips they take.

As his precious little one continues to grow up, Jade decides to send them to human kindergarten instead of merfolk kindergarten. And since Jade doesn’t really know how human kindergarten worked, he would stick around the school for the first few days, just to observe his little one and what actually happens at the kindergarten.

He may or may not just went there to spy on his little one, making sure they aren’t bullied or whatsoever. Who knows am I right?

He’ll also be more cautious about their feelings. He wants to know that his child is safe and happy and that they aren’t bottling up their feelings whatsoever. At some point, Jade would’ve told his young one about his unique magic, so, lying is not an option at all. But, at the same time, Jade would usually initiate the conversation with his little one, just to let them be comfortable with telling him about either their day at school or just schoolwork in general.

If his young one is having a bad day, expect a lot of bonding time! And I mean A LOT of bonding time. Literally, Jade would either be seen having tea with his young one or just having a small nature walk with them. Anything to cheer his little one up. In the midst of ‘happy-cheeful-father-kid’ time, Jade would ask why they were down.

If the reason was because of schoolwork or just something else in general, he would do his best to help them and make them forget about their troubles by cheering them up.

However, if the reason was because of a person....

Huh? What? That child had to be transferred because they were exposed of their precious lies? Ugh, kids nowadays am I right?

Jade loves his little one with all his heart. Like I’ve said, he only wants the best for them and he would do anything and everything to make sure that his precious little one gets the ABSOLUTE best. He would ensure that his little one is happy and not stressed out at all. In fact, his child loves nature as much as he does and his little one always manages to surprise him with little terrariums of their own. Jade is glad that his precious one can find happiness in the things that he finds happiness in as well. He is very grateful to have this little precious child come into his life and he is very proud of his little one. 

His little one is absolutely glad to have such a perfect and understanding father and they love their father with all their heart as well. They know they could rely on him anytime and they do hope to be like him someday.

I’m sorry, this person is too perfect for me to actually write anything, so, just imagine the perfect father and BAM, you have Jade :’))

Floyd Leech

Okay, to put it in a simple way, everything that I had written for Jade, Floyd is the exact opposite.

I’m just kidding! I don’t wanna be squeezed by him :’)))

Or do I???

All jokes aside! Floyd would the type of father that is fun and carefree all the time! But! He’s also serious when needed. So, when he first heard news of his baby, he is sort of confused. And when someone explained the news to this wonderful goofball, his eyes literally lit up in excitement.

“Ahh? A little fish? I made a little fish?” .... I mean.... He’s not wrong.

In preparation for his little one’s arrival, he would rely on his brother for tips and resources. Don’t get me wrong, Floyd really tries his best to prepare for his little one as he wants to be able to welcome his little one without any problems, it’s just that he doesn’t know how. So, he usually brings Jade along with him as they go buy some baby products together.

Bless this lovely goofball for trying his best.

When the baby actually arrives, he feels a sense of pride as he knows that he managed to bring such a lovely and adorable little one to the world. A wide smile stuck itself on his face as he takes a good look and holds his little fish. He couldn’t BELIEVE that he was holding something so tiny and fragile. He was so shocked by the beauty of his little fish, he didn’t notice tears flowing out from his eyes. At that moment, he swore to love, cherish and protect his little fish and never let anything bad happen to them. 

However, he’s never really taken good care of kids before, so, he is actually kind of scared. He’s afraid that he’ll accidentally hurt his little one so he is EXTRA cautious with his actions whenever he’s handling his little fish. He literally does everything with extra care. For example, if he is feeding his young one, one can find him feeding his little one inside a pillow fort and on top of a big and fluffy pillow. 

Bless this goofball for trying his best x2.

But, as the weeks go by, he would get used to taking care of his little fish. Those fears he had slowly vanished and he’s more comfortable with his little one and he goes back to his carefree self. So, expect some crazy stuff happening when he has fun-time with his little fish. 

f-floYD, PUT THE CHILD DOWN!! DON’T FLING THE CHILD INTO THE AIR!!!

Floyd actually loves hearing his little fish laugh. He would do anything for that cute little giggle or squeal to bless his ears. Funny faces and tickling are his go-to actions to get his little one to smile and laugh in happiness. And when he hears that adorable giggle or laughter, he naturally smiles in response and continues his actions to make more giggles and laughter appear.

Hey, just because Floyd is carefree, that doesn’t mean he won’t discipline his little fish. Sure, his little one can have fun and be happy, but they have to be wary of actions which are okay and not okay. Floyd knows when and where to draw the line. 

If his little fish is tired for the day or absolutely worn out, Floyd would carry his little one to bed and tuck them in. He smiles at his little one’s sleeping form before exciting the room.

Swimming lessons are also a MUST for his little fish. They are half merfolk after all, if they know how to walk, they must know how to swim. Floyd would actually take it upon himself to teach his little fish on the basics of swimming. 

He.... At some point may or may not almost flung his little fish into the water whilst yelling: “Let the water guide you!”

Expect little dancing parties with Floyd and his little one. Whenever Floyd starts to dance, his little fish would end up trying to copy his moves. Floyd takes notice of this and starts to lead his little one to dance along with him. No matter the song and place, the father and child would always have the best time of their lives by dancing.

They also have another method of having absolute fun. Pranking. Literally. Floyd and his little fish would come up with all sorts of pranks to pull on either their families or Floyd’s friends at gatherings. Their pranks could go from just a small and harmless one to one that would flip the entire building upside down. Floyd and his little fish would be howling with laughter every time their pranks had succeeded. If they didn’t, then, good luck taking care of one moody Floyd and one moody child.

As his little fish grows up, Floyd would also send them to human kindergarten as well. Although Floyd would have wanted his little fish to go to merfolk kindergarten instead, he knows that his little fish would probably be uncomfortable there. So, he agrees to send them to human kindergarten. Well, as long as his little fish is happy, he is happy as well.

Floyd KNOWS when his little fish is having a bad day. Somehow, this goofball can sense whenever his little fish is feeling down. As soon as his little one comes home, Floyd is immediately hugging his little one and asking them what’s wrong.

If the problem was just because they were having a bad day in general. Remember all the fun activities I mentioned that Floyd would do to have fun? Yeah, everything happened. It was a day with fun filled to the brim.

However, if the problem was a person....

Looks like someone is getting squeezed soon.

For real, Floyd would have the face he has on his groovy SSR card as he accompanies his little fish to school the next day.

“So... Which one of you fishes made MY angelfish feel sad yesterday?”

May the lord have mercy on all the staff and other children of that kindergarten.

All in all, Floyd absolutely adores and loves his little angelfish for he has never seen anything as perfect as they are. He makes sure that his precious angelfish gets all the joy and fun in the world and knows that he loves them oh so much. His angelfish knows that they’re loved by their wonderful dad and loves him as much as he loves them. Floyd knows it and he is happy to know it.

Bless this goofball of a dad x3

~Little Bonus!~

With the benefit of being twins, both Jade and Floyd would trick their kids sometimes.

Usually, when they get together for play dates, their kids would be extra cautious on who was their father as Jade and Floyd would not even be separated.

“Oya? You thought I was your father? My dear one, your father is over there.” Jade said to Floyd’s child.

“Ehhhh? Me? Jade? No little angelfish, Jade’s over there~” Floyd said to Jade’s child.

Sometimes, they would deny being themselves! Like, Jade would deny being Jade and Floyd would deny being Floyd. 

They would literally say the exact same things that I’ve listed above to their own kids.

This confused the kids SO MUCH. 

I think both kids ended up crying one time.

Feel free to smack the duo for traumatizing their little ones though :)

[prettyyoungandbored]

Becoming Mrs. Wayne [The Dark Knight] Five

Pairing: Christian Bale!Bruce Wayne x OC

Summary: Demetria Gallagher knew her cozy life would change the second she became engaged to Bruce Wayne. But what she doesn’t know is she’s getting more than what she agreed to. (I am trash at summaries.)

Warning: Sight panic attack, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks

Taglist: dragonballluver , disgraceful-marvel-trash, barikawho (Let me know if you want to be tagged in this!)

Previous

It was around 2 AM when Demetria found herself once again outside on the balcony. She leaned over the railing, looking out at the view before. The sounds of sirens filled her ears as she eyed the bright lights of the city.

Bruce had managed to calm her down about what happened at the orphanage. Demetria apologized profusely to Sister Mary, who told her she’d done nothing wrong and in fact, appreciated what she’d done and was rather impressed.

Demetria sighed as she leaned up, her hands over the railing. It wasn’t until she heard tires squeal followed by a crash of metal that she looked down. While she was far up, she still had a decent view of the street.

She leaned forward to see a car smashed into a pole. A male figure wearing what appeared to be a purple trench coat exited the car, looking around, before throwing a lit match into the car, setting the car on fire.

Before Demetria could react, she felt herself be pulled back. She went to scream when a hand covered her mouth from behind. She began kicking, squirming, and attempting to scream despite it sounding muffled.

She then felt herself be turned around, coming face-to-face with Batman. She stopped screaming as he took his hand off her mouth.

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” she cried.

“I told you to stay inside,” he growled.

She rolled her eyes. “Jesus Christ. I’m not in any danger, ok?”

“How do you know that?”

“Well I haven’t received any death threats yet.”

“Doesn’t mean you aren’t in any danger.”

She blinked. “And what kind of danger am I in then.”

“You’re a public figure with ties to other public figures.”

“I’m not really a public figure.”

“You’re engaged to a billionaire and your best friend is the DA.”

She chuckled and threw her hands up. “You got me there.”

“Does he keep you safe?”

She tilted her head. “Who?”

“Your fiancé.”

She opened her mouth to respond, when her lips curved into a grin.

“You know it’s actually pretty scary to have a bunch of people taking photos of you all at once, following your every move. Makes you feel like an animal in a zoo enclosure or something. Everytime they get too close or scream questions at me, my throat closes up and my heart is racing and there’s this sharp pain and it’s unbearable. It’s like I’m drowning. But when he-Bruce-holds my hand...well, it’s not a total fixer, but it really helps.” Her face softens. “I don’t think he knows that.”

“That you have panic attacks?”

“No, he knows that. He just hasn’t seen them. He knows when I get anxious, but not when I have a panic attack.”

She turned around when she noticed off in the distance, a light with a bat symbol cast on a grey cloud.

“So that’s how they get your attention,” she remarked, her eyes still on the bat symbol. “You see that signal and you go out?”

“Yes.”

“Where’s the signal coming from?”

“A rooftop.”

She scoffed, looking over her shoulder at him. “You could be a little more specific.”

“It’s not important where it’s coming from.”

“Does Batman not work alone?” 

“You ask a lot of questions.” 

She shrugged. “Just curious.” She glanced over at the bat symbol before tucking a strand of hair behind her hair. “You know...there are some people who are grateful for what you're doing, right?”

“Like you?” 

She nodded, a wide smile swept across her lips. “Like me.” 

“Good to know.”

With that, he jumped off the building, Demetria watching him as he made his way down.

“You’re welcome!” she called down to him.

_________________________________________________________________

The next morning, the sound of her cellphone ringing awoke her from her sleep. She groaned, wondering who the hell would dare interrupt her slumber. She felt a heavy presence over her, looking over to find Bruce’s head curled up right behind her and his arm swung over her body. He was still fast asleep, thankfully.

She gently moved his arm and grabbed her phone, answering it without bothering to look at the caller ID. 

“Hello?”  

“Hey girl, it’s Alicia.” 

Alicia was a reporter at GCN and one of the very few friends Demetria had there. She had been the one to overhear about the photographer who was outside ready to photograph Demetria leaving and helped her escape the building without being seen. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Demetria yawned. 

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I wanted to give you a heads up that ‘Gotham Times’ is working on a piece about you.” 

She shot up. “What do you mean?”

“They’re doing a whole article on you, about your life, you know, the works.” 

Demetria’s heart sunk to her stomach, eyes bugling open. This had to be a nightmare, had to be. Her body tightened, hoping maybe she’d wake up but was unsuccessful. 

“Oh my fucking god,” she whispered. 

“What’s going on?” Bruce asked, his voice groggy and barely awake. 

Demetria put her hand on his arm, mouthing “one second.”

“They have a reporter in the newsroom trying to get a few people to talk. So far only Walter and James have talked to them. They tried to get me and Molly to talk, I guess because someone had told them we were friends, but both of us said ‘no comment’.” 

A tiny wave of relief crashed over her. “You’re both saints. I owe you both a big one.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Just call your brother and mom and give them a heads up.” 

“Will do. Thanks again.” 

She hung up and buried her hands in her face. “Jesus fucking Christ.” 

“Babe, what’s going on?” Bruce asked putting his hand on her shoulder. 

“That was a friend from GCN. She says ‘Gotham Times’ is doing a piece on me and is asking people there about me.” She shook her head. “I’ve gotta warn Mom and Henry.” 

Bruce watched as Demetria got up from the bed and made another call. Guilt weighed over him as he watched her talk into the phone. He never meant to drag her into this limelight. He’d tried desperately to keep her private, to keep them private. He was fine with being in the spotlight and he’d been ok with being photographed with women in because, frankly, they lasted barely a week. 

With Demetria, she could be hunted and gunned down just like his parents. He refused to let that happen. 

“I left messages for both of them,” she said hanging up her phone. 

She set her phone back on the nightstand and let out an exasperated groan as she crawled back into bed. She scooted in closer to Bruce as he collected her into his arms. His warmth was enough to keep her at bay, but she couldn’t deny the pain in chest and the millions of thoughts running amok in her mind.

“Why can’t they leave me alone?” she exhaled.

“I know, sweetheart,” Bruce mumbled, his lips pressed against her temple.

“I just want to write a press release that simply says ‘Fuck off’.” 

“I endorse that.”

“But if I do that then they’ll run with it and suddenly it’s ‘Oh Mrs. Wayne has mouth on her!’” 

“A pretty mouth that I get to do this to.” His lips pressed against hers, cradling her face with his hands. When she pulled back, she rested her forehead on his. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I ask myself the same thing.” His fingers ran through her hair. “How can I make this easier for you?” 

Her heart warmed at his words. She knew he had a lot of power and that one simple request from her could make this all go away...at least temporarily. The press would hound her even more if Bruce were to step in and help, claiming she relies on him to do everything for her.

She let out deep sigh, resting her forehead against his. “Just...just be you. Just love me. That’s all you can do.” 

His eyebrows furrowed. “Are you sure that’s it? You know I am more than willing-.” 

“That’s all. Just be here.” 

She pecked his lips and removed the duvet cover from her body. “I have to meet Rachel for lunch but I’m going to Harvey’s office beforehand.”

She felt him grab her hand. Her eyes turned to find him smirking at her. “Hmmm, why don’t you stay here in bed with me?”

“Don’t tempt me, Wayne.”

=================================

Demetria had heard about the wig shop from Molly, who bought a wig for her mom after her mom had to shave her hair due to chemotherapy treatments a few months ago. 

The store had head mannequins surrounding the entire area with different color wigs in different styles. Her eyes scanned the store as she lifted the sunglasses from her eyes, placing them on top of her head. The wig had to be realistic looking, but one that wouldn’t draw attention.  

She was looking at a honey blonde bob with thick bangs when a voice broke the silence.

“Can I help you find anything?”

Demetria jumped, looking over to see a blonde saleswoman smiling at her.

“I’m just looking,” Demetria answered.

Demetria and the saleswoman stared at each other, a silent understanding between them. The saleswoman nodded and held up a finger. “One moment.”

She went toward the back of the store, Demetria watching her every move. The saleswoman reached on one of the shelves and grabbed an auburn colored long bob with bangs. She then brought it over, presenting it to Demetria.

“The auburn would suit you well,” she said before turning away. “It compliments you without drawing attention.”

She handed it to Demetria and then reached over the counter to grab a wig cap. “May I?” 

Demetria nodded, using the hair tie on her wrist to pull her hair back into a low bun. The saleswoman adjusted the cap on Demetria’s head before gently placing the wig on top. After a few minor adjustments, the saleswoman handed Demetria a wig to take a look. 

“What do you think?” the saleswoman asked, crossing her arms against her chest, leaning back onto the counter. 

Demetria marveled quietly. The saleswoman was right - it suited her enough without drawing attention. 

“I’ll take it.” 

———————————

Demetria wore the wig walking out of the store and for the first time in a really long time, she felt like everyone else. A weight lifted off her shoulders as she walked on the crowd Gotham streets with a big smile on her face. 

As she made her way inside Harvey’s office, she realized she’d need ID to get through security to get to the elevators.Even though they all knew her, and she was given clearance to come and go as she pleased thanks to Harvey, she still needed to show ID as a formality. She cursed under breath when she remembered the bathroom that was nearby. She reached into her purse and put her sunglasses over her eyes. 

She walked in, making eye contact with Hank, the old security guard. 

“Do you mind if I use the bathroom?” she asked, making her voice higher than normal. “I really have to go.” 

He gave her a kind smile and gestured toward the bathroom. She hurried inside and went into a stall. Closing the door, she threw off the wig and cap, throwing them inside her purse. She grabbed the tie, sliding it off her hair and onto her wrist. She shook her hair, smoothing it out with her fingers. Taking off her trench coat, she threw her purse over her shoulder and trench coat over her arms and made her way out of the bathroom. 

She approached Hank smiling. 

“Hi Hank, how are you?” she greeted him. 

His face lit up. “Demetria! Good to see you! I didn’t see you walk in earlier, but you know, people come and go in here so fast so it’s hard to tell, especially with my old brain. Doesn’t work as well as it used to.”

“Oh, you’re fine! I followed a crowd and quickly had to use the bathroom.”

“I assume you’re here to see Harvey?” 

“You’ve guessed correctly. Let me grab my-.” 

“Not necessary. You go right ahead now.” 

She pouted. “Are you sure?” 

He waved his hand. “You're fine. You go along now. Oh, and congratulations on the...you know.” 

She smiled. “Thanks, Hank. You take care now!” 

“You do the same!” 

She made her way into the elevators, pressing the top floor. The doors closed and she sighed, waiting for them to open again. 

When they did, she was surprised to see there was barely anyone around. Normally, people would be walking around everywhere. 

She went up to Harvey’s assistant, Grace. Grace’s eyes smiled. 

“Demetria, great to see you!” she greeted. 

“Good to see you as well! How is everything?”

“Oh you know, the usual! How are you? How’s...you know?” 

Demetria leaned down to show Grace the engagement ring. Grace took her hand gingerly, letting out a gasp as she admired it. 

“Look at that,” she marveled. “It’s gorgeous! Oh, congratulations hun!” 

“Thank you so much! It’s just so-.” 

“I thought I heard your voice out here.” 

She looked up to find Harvey poking his head out the door. Demetria smiled, thanking Grace one last time before walking into Harvey’s office. 

“So...what brings you into my office?” Harvey asked, taking a seat at his desk. 

She eyed the photo frame on his bookshelf of the two of them at their college graduation. She rembered the day clearly - the two of them grabbing breakfast at the local diner before going to the auditorium. Their mother snapped the photo, having bought both of them flowers.

She walked over to the bookshelf and picked it up. 

“Aww, look at us,” she pouted. “We were babies.”

“Hungover babies,” he corrected.

“It was-.”

“Your idea,” he reminded her. “I told you to stop after the sixth vodka shot.”

“We still made it on time to the ceremony.” 

“No thanks to me. Now are you going to tell me why you’re here?”

She set the photo frame back and sat on the edge of his desk. 

“I went to the orphanage yesterday-.” 

“So I saw.” 

She tilted her head when Harvey pulled out the newspaper that had a photo of Bruce holding her back as she yelled at the camera. The headline read “Future Mrs. Wayne LASHES Out!” 

Her stomach dropped, mouth wide open. “That son of a bitch,” she seethed. She threw down the paper and began pacing the office. Her blood boiled as anger succumbed her body. 

“It’s not that bad,” Harvey reasoned. “The orphanage actually released a statement defending you. It’s in the article.”

“I had a great time at the orphanage,” Demetria spoke up. “I got a tour, I got to meet the kids - the kids! Harvey, the kids are awesome. They’re kind and cool and I even got to play basketball with them!” 

Harvey stared at her, unsure of where she was going. 

“I was doing great until that-that fucking asshole started taking photos!” 

“That’s what they do, Demetria. That’s their job.” 

“Alicia called me this morning to tell me ‘Gotham Times’ is doing a piece on me. They called people I worked with.” 

“Did they call your mother and brother yet?” 

“I don’t know. I left them a message but they haven’t called me back.” 

“Well for the record, they did call me.”

Her face froze. “What did you say?” 

“I said I wouldn’t comment on our friendship without your permission.” 

She threw her hands up. “Why can’t they leave me alone?!” 

“Because you’re-.” 

“Because I’m getting married to someone?” 

“You’re marrying Bruce Wayne, one of the richest men in-.” 

“Why does that matter?! Why should that deprive me of living my life in peace?” She reached into her purse and pulled out the wig, showing it to Harvey. “I have to wear a wig just so I can walk around and feel like a normal human being again.” 

Harvey let out a chuckle. “Demetria, you’re not serious.” 

“I want to be able to go wherever I want.”

“What about credit cards? Debit cards? Id?”

“I don’t buy alcohol and pay with cash.”

“What about the pharmacy?”

She snapped her fingers. “Fuck! I didn’t think of that.” 

“Here’s a question for you, why are you so up in arms about all this when you of all people know there’s nothing you can do to stop it?” 

“Because I don’t want people or Bruce to see who I really am!” 

Harvey’s face softened. 

“If the reporters dig any further, they’re gonna find out about the mistakes I’ve made and about....it.” 

“It?” 

“My anxiety and panic attacks. I’ve had them in public places before, remember?”

“Why does that matter?” 

She threw her hands up. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Harvey? Why does that matter? It matters because if people find out that I’m a thirty-something woman who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, they’re going to eat me alive. They’re going to see that I’m worth nothing. They’re going to say ‘she’s crazy’ and that I’m joke and I’m scared Bruce is going to see it too and he’s going to--.” 

Her throat started closing, chest tightening. 

“I am a difficult person,” she continued, her breath hitching. “You know that better than anyone else. I have always been difficult with...with the depression...anxiety...with everything. And because of that, I have managed to screw up my life multiple times and ruin so many relationships.I’ve tried to change it. I’ve worked on it with God knows how many therapists and I can’t change it. So when the one guy - who is so far out of my league - who loves me as much as I love him and who goes to hell and back just to be with me, I don’t want...I can’t mess this up...”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Harvey hushed her as he hugged her. “You’re not gonna mess this up. He loves you for all that you are and-.” 

“He’s never seen me have one.” 

Harvey pulled back. “What do you mean?” 

“Bruce has never seen me have a panic attack. He’s only heard me.” She sighed. “The one night he stayed over my place, I was woken up by gunshots from outside. I started getting...you know...and I ran into bathroom. I took medicine and practiced my breathing and I was shaking and crying...and I heard him knock on the door and I told him to stay out there. I didn’t want him to see it. He tried to reason with me, but I told him I couldn’t.” 

She ran a hand through her hair. “I don't know what I’m getting myself into and it scares the shit out of me.” 

Harvey placed a reassuring hand on her back. “I know it does, Dem. But I’m telling you, as someone who has to deal with this everyday, at a certain point  you’ve got to learn that you’re a public figure now and that you’re up for grabs by the media. Some days they’ll be nice and other days they’ll rip you into pieces. You are a human being, you’re not perfect and no one is expecting you to be. Not even Bruce.” 

Demetria nodded, acknowledging Harvey’s point. She was human and Bruce never asked her to be anything other than herself. Still, she wasn’t completely relaxed about the issue with the press, but it seemed best to drop it. 

“Hey there!” 

Demetria turned to see Rachel enter the office with a big smile. Both Demetria and Harvey smiled, both relieved to see her. 

“Sorry, was I interrupting something?” she asked. 

“No, I was just telling Demetria that she’s human and that the press are nothing to be concerned about,” Harvey responded. 

Rachel nodded knowingly. “They called me too. Then again, they call me anytime they do a piece on Bruce or the Wayne family in general.” 

“Well here’s hoping they don't find out about the drunk karaoke Harvey and I did in college,” Demetria remarked, smirking at Harvey. 

“Drunk karaoke?” Rachel inquired, interested. 

“You guys should probably get going,” Harvey brushed it off. 

“No I want to hear more about drunk karaoke!” Rachel pleaded.

“We’ll talk about in the taxi ride to the store,” Demetria assured. 

“No you won’t,” Harvey called out. 

“It was ‘Black Balloon’ by Goo Goo Dolls,” Demetria told her. 

Rachel’s eyes widened in delight. “Goo Goo Dolls?!” 

“Leave now, please,” Harvey demanded, annoyed. 

============================================

Inside the luxury department store, Demetria stayed close to Rachel as the two eyed the gowns. 

“Exactly what the hell am I supposed to wear?” Demetria asked, her eyes scanning the dresses. 

“Considering Bruce is throwing it, you’re going to want to wear a gown,” Rachel remarked. “But I’m sure you could show up in sweatpants and a shirt and he would still show you off proudly.” 

Demetria eyed her. “If you’re serious, I might consider it.” She shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about dressing up but...I don’t know. I feel like there’s an expectation for me or some quota I have to fill for these people to take me seriously and I hate that.” 

Rachel laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about that. Bruce hates the people he’s inviting.” 

“Which doesn’t make sense to me! I mean, why waste your time pretending?” 

Rachel pulled her lips back. “Listen, I didn’t mean to...but I kind of eavesdropped on yours and Harvey’s conversation and...” She turned to Demetria. “I’ve known Bruce my entire life. I’ve seen him with every kind of woman and have had the unfortunate pleasure of having to meet them. But I see the way he is with you. I know it’s cliché to say, but it’s true. You bring out the Bruce I’ve always known and loved. I know how happy you make him and how much you mean to him.” She paused. “Don’t worry about the media or everyone trying to pick it apart. Take control of the narrative. Show and tell them what you want. Just don’t let it eat you alive.” 

Demetria smiled, her heart swelling. She wrapped her arms around Rachel, much to Rachel’s surprise. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I needed to hear that.” 

And in her mind, an idea began to unravel. 

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Why You Should Watch SKET Dance

Why You Should Watch SKET Dance

If I were to tell you what I took away from SKET Dance from old lessons to new, I would say that it said something along the lines of this:

“You are not the mistakes you made in the past. You are not defined the person you were before. If anything, the past is something that you cannot change, but you can surpass those regrets and try to change for the better. Trauma is something that cannot be left behind, but it can get better, especially when you are surrounded by the right people and support. Helping people doesn’t always change the world, but it can change the world of that person and maybe even yours.”

That cheesy quote took a while to write (so did this whole post), but that’s because I wanted to get it right. I wasn’t even sure where to start with this post of sorts.

I will warn ahead of time that if you aren’t familiar with anime, SKET Dance might be an overreach. It does have some references that are niche, and it has a lot of “manzai” (tsukkomi/boke) jokes with tons of mentions. There is fanservice, but no more than you’d see in some of the other series that were released under Shonen Jump. Sometimes the humour and everything can be a little cringy, but I think that’s a given with the fact that you are watching anime.

(This is spoiler-free, gluten-free, no trans fat, and took me too much time.)

Story

I get that it’s like Gintama, but I wouldn’t say it’s a “poor man’s Gintama”. Instead, take it for what it is. It’s like comparing a younger sibling to the older sibling. You’re not letting SketDan shine on its own, and it deserves to.

SketDan has a really simplistic story. It’s about a school club that wants to help people. There is no big war, massive battles, or over-the-top villain that needs to be crushed. I can’t say that it’s episodic, but it definitely leans towards the more “slice-of-life” approach. It has its own arcs that come one after another in good bits and pieces. This series balances itself so well with its drama and comedy. The backstories were done so well, and they didn’t even get to all of them! In fact, one of the best ones was left just in the manga.

The story is made by the characters. It doesn’t rely on the environment or the world around them. Instead, the world to them are the people they are surrounded by. No aliens, samurai, ninjas, or great big event, it’s just them, their high school, and their unconventional club.

Characters

This has got to go down as one of the best ensemble trios in anime. All of them do get their time to develop, and they balance each other out so well. You’d think these characters were friends for their entire lives. I can’t even say who’s the best because I think they’re all the best!

Bossun is a sensitive guy who’s insecure about being the main character of this series (yes, he does mention that). He doesn’t have any spectacular “Shonen Jump” skills. He has no “bankai”, “rasengan”, or “Kamehameha”. He has a hat and goggles. His power is concentration. These are completely valid reasons to be worried about your character status because, on the surface, Bossun sounds downright pathetic (and he knows it). But through the story, you get to see why he’s actually one of the best main characters out there (even if the cast doesn’t want to acknowledge it).

Himeko is one of the coolest characters in this series. I haven’t seen a weapon of that kind… ever. She isn’t afraid to slap the stuff out of anyone and will do anything for a friend. I don’t want to get into her character too much due to spoilers, but it’s revealed early on that she is quite legendary. She’s quite important for the humour of this story. It’s often brought up that she’s the “tsukkomi” (the one who responds to the “boke” stupid).

Last but not least of the great trio, we have Switch. This is probably the character I was most blindsided by. Even though I knew his backstory beforehand (nobody stops me from clicking from “show spoiler” button, it’s quite a problem). He’s the local otaku and database. And he’s probably the most observant. Even though he never “talks”, he’s one of the funniest characters in the series even when he isn’t in the limelight. I legally cannot dig into more about his character due to spoilers. You really need to see it for yourself.

The supporting cast is nothing to put aside either. A lot of them become more and more important as time passes, and the roles they play soon play right into the main plot of the story. We’ve got someone who speaks in “yabasu”, a ghostly occult member, a samurai, a captain, a tsundere, a visual kei star who doesn’t speak in any actual language, a 1.8m tall woman who can literally murder you with a slap, a voice actress idol movie star, and a teacher who makes drugs and bombs. That doesn’t even touch on the student counsel. Anyways, discovering these characters is part of the charm.

Art

There are too many good faces in this anime. While the art isn’t always consistent, it’s never “bad”.

The faces in this anime are on-par with other comedy anime. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Music

*downloads all the music*

I’m going to pretend like I haven’t listened to some of these on repeat since I finished the anime. Not all anime will literally have a designated band that are made after the characters. That was a really nice touch. There are a ton of special insert songs that go with certain arcs too.

SKET Dance is like any other anime in a way. It benefits from having a good OST. A good OST will add to the story. It will add to the anime, and it will convey all the right feelings. It helps with the comedy, the drama, and the random “what am I watching” moments.

Seiyuu

I wanted to save this category for last. This anime actually changed the way that I look at all the main seiyuu of this anime. It’s not that often that the Vomics (voice acted comics) have the same cast as the anime. They fit their characters so well, and I really can’t express that enough. I associate their voices with their character. It’s like how you can look at a picture of your favourite character and remember exactly what they sound like (or maybe that’s just me).

I haven’t actually heard a lot of lead roles by Hiroyuki Yoshino because he has such a uniquely odd voice. I think the last anime I watched where he actually played the protagonist was Kekkaishi which was quite a while ago. He did well for that role too. Another anime where he played one of the main characters was in Hai to Gensou no Grimgar which didn’t have a very enjoyable cast compared to other anime including SKET Dance (but still worth checking out if you like tamer isekai). I’ve also seen him play a suave character, but I actually skipped most of his lines going, “Not this again.” Present Mic is a character that he seems to be popular for, but those specific niche characters didn’t give him nearly the range that Bossun did. From the moments we were laughing with him and at him to the serious moments that really made me go quiet, it felt like he was truly the character.

Ryouko Shiraishi is such an underrated seiyuu. She admits that she doesn’t have a very cutesy voice, and due to that, the number of female characters she can play goes down, but I wouldn’t dismiss how great she is. For one, she’s really good at the Kansai dialect. Second, she plays a lot of younger male characters. She makes Himeko really cute but also really tough and spunky. She carries a lot of the humour as the reactor “tsukkomi”. And if you’ve watched Demon Slayer, she plays one of the demons and is so good at it. I really like her unique voice because it deviates from the norm just like Himeko’s character.

Gintoki—I mean Tomokazu Sugita is great as Switch, and even though sometimes we forget that he’s a legitimate voice actor who can actually voice act and not just scream on command. Of course, he’s funny. That goes without saying. Almost all of his well-known characters are known for being funny. Even the guy in real life is really funny. I’m not sure how much explanation would be needed for him.

Summary

Overall, I had such a good time with this anime. It made me laugh, feel the feels, and really smile (I mean the type that people really ask you what the heck you’re watching because you’re smiling like you just watched someone you hate fall down the stairs). It reminded me of what I liked from comedy anime, but it also reminded me what I like about anime that take it to basics with just its characters. Actions and battles are good once in a while, but the characters are the heart, soul, and being of this anime. If you’re looking for a good laugh or smile with a ton of gags and jokes with a great ensemble cast, look no further! SKET Dance is here!

I’m going to recommend this anime to anyone who has read this, @azroazizah​, @brettyblease​, @tsukiomoon​, and anyone else who likes those Shonen Jump shenanigans.

P.S. It is totally worth picking up the manga after watching the anime.

[morievna]

My problems with Haruki’s arc and why it could be done better

Hello, a bit late but still happy halloween ^^

Something a bit different this time - more of rant than meta. As maybe you noticed I don’t post usually about Haruki – it is not that particularly dislike him, just his storyline is not that engaging to me and I feel a bit lukewarm about him. Don’t get me wrong – in real life I think it would be great to have friend like him, but fiction works differently. I was thinking why I feel this way about him and I wanted to put it into words.

Since it is my personal opinion therefore goes disclaimer first - my intention is not to bash Haruki or anything like that. Most of my criticism is more about story, because I think Kizu Natsuki could done it better. Some of choices regarding his arc are really weird to me. Although I love Given a lot, it is not that I consider it perfect story. Nothing is perfect after all.

Okay, so let’s get started.

Honestly, to me it feels like Haruki is more of sidekick even though he is one of main characters. To me it stands out how Haruki’s story is done differently than rest of the band. He is usually there to support other characters or help them moving on, but in regards of his characters development there is not that much going on. I mean – at beginning we had learnt that he is kind, caring and dependable person and currently… we don’t really know more aside that. Of course, these traits are admirable, but it is not how character arc should be ^^

For why it is important:

We tell stories because there is a universal lesson. It’s why we feel humanity in far away galaxies and in magical worlds, it all relates back to the same, very human need. Maybe it’s overcoming trauma, or learning how to be independent, or just bettering ourselves in some way through universal experiences. There must be something your character learns about themselves. They should be a very different person at the end of your story than they were at the beginning, otherwise the story isn’t really about them, they’re just in it.

[source]

The last two lines are especially good explanation why I have problem with Haruki.

For rest of main characters we have characters development going in two ways – honing their music skills and more personal side – working on their flaws, overcoming trauma, following the dreams. Even though their family background is vague, it still gives some explanation for their behavior. We see them interacting with various characters and see how they relate to others. Live performances served as important plot points, where we see them reflecting on themselves, making  decisions and moving on with their life.

But with Haruki with have very little of all of that.

There is no information why he started playing music or why it is important to him. We just know that he is doing it for fun, which is very little comparing how much time was spent on Mafuyu writing songs or Akihiko reminiscing on his dreams about violin. I mean – is it his passion or is he doing it just to be close to Akihiko? I am not really sure. Though Haruki considers his abilities as mediocre, we don’t really know why he thinks like that. His music skills are not really in the focus of the story – only comments are like “ bass and drums are in good sync”, which don’t really are about his skill, but more about what state is his relationship with Akihiko.

On the other side, there is no better situation with Haruki’s character growth. We can see that he has not much of self-esteem and always puts others before himself. But it is done rather in sketchy way and comparing to other characters it is not given that much attention and time.

Let’s look on it closer.

Haruki’s arc started for good after first live - we got more of his POV chapters after that. As mentioned earlier, he believes to be mediocre at everything and later we see him feeling inadequate and not at the same level as others.

Even though both of them are talented he seems to idealize it very much and kind of assume it all came effortlessly – it is a bit weird to me especially considering how much time they all spend practicing in the studio, but I guess it is to show how low his self-esteem is.

Then the issue with his self-doubt skyrocketed after whole situation with Akihiko – although Akihiko had done a lot wrong to him, what mattered the most to Haruki was fact that he refused his help and didn’t even wanted to share his worries with him. It seems like the most he fears that he is not needed by others.

He tends to put others before himself even not thinking about his own well-being beforehand.

And then all of it is suddenly solved by this scene after Haruki playing badly at practice and never brought up again *facepalms*

Though I get from that scene that Gusari’s intent is to tell us that leadership and soft skills are as much important as music skills but still… the way it is executed and whole context is just not satisfactory to me.

Akihiko telling Haruki that it is his own fault for playing badly – sure Akihiko it has nothing to do with what you done *facepalm*

Akihiko telling Haruki that he should focus on solely him  - surely it feels like good solution to focus only on person who hurt you a lot not that much time ago *facepalm*

Overall, i also don’t like how it kind of feels like Haruki’s music skill doesn’t matter and he just should be supporting others and not thinking about anything else.

Though Akihiko’s words helped Haruki, it is very unconvincing to me. This scene feels to me like it was done without thinking through what happened earlier between these two. Even though there is good intent, execution is could be way better – because it makes Akihiko look arrogant and not really being empathetic to Haruki’s situation. I preferred if it would be more emphasis that is okay that Haruki played badly this one time and more like assuring that it is okay for him to take time to heal after what happened.

So in short – we got character which is dependable, who is anxious whether others find him dependable and then his love interest told him that yes, he is dependable and problem solved xD

Which is disappointing to me. I mean  - obviously positive feedback is important and valuable, but still imo self-esteem should grounded not only on that.

What I dislike about all of that is that it puts Haruki in box of being dependable. It is like only that matters when it comes to him. Even more background characters like Hiiragi, Shizu or Ugetsu are given more nuances, but he is defined just by this trait. It looks like his main role is to support other characters and hence he isn’t given more characters development and stay the way he is whole time just to preserve current dynamics in the band.

Next ~~

The other problem I have is that Haruki’s storyline orbits too much around Akihiko. I mean I get it that he is his main love interest and sometimes love stories are like that, but it is just too much. Because of that it feels to me like Haruki is more passive as character – like he is not in center of his story just only reacting to what Akihiko does and wants. Even conversation he had with other characters are mostly about Akihiko. Even when he is not main topic he is briefly referenced. All of it feels like in Haruki’s arc it is Akihiko who matters the most.

Especially looking close on his subplot about playing as support:

he started that to cheer up because was feeling lonely and his one-sided crush for Akihiko weighted down him

Haruki didn’t want to tell Akihiko about playing as support, because he suspected that he will not like it  

Haruki put on hold playing as support because Akihiko was displeased about that greatly

later when their relationship was on better terms he decide to play with other band

It is like what Akihko wants and thinks of him is most important to Haruki. Like that he that matters to him the most and makes his decisions because of that.

Maybe I wouldn’t mind that much if their dynamics were interesting to me. However, their interactions feel to much repetitive to me – it is always Haruki acting flustered around Akihiko or commenting how he is handsome/adorable/whatever.

On the other side, it is a bit odd to me how different Akihiko treats Haruki than Ugetsu. With the latter he is often more patient and understanding, but around Haruki he usually behaves like big spoiled kid. In addition, there is problematic stuff that happened between them that is well, problematic and could be better resolved imo.

Don’t get me wrong – it is still better done than most BL, but still the way it is executed is a bit off-putting to me. It feels like only one aspect is brought up the most – that Akihiko didn’t rely with his Ugetsu problems on Haruki – and the rest are kind of forgotten by the story. Besides, sometimes I not even sure if Akihiko know how much he hurt Haruki by his action – he looks so much shocked by Haruki’s reactions multiple times to the point it is just weird to me.

Because of that his apology rings a bit empty too. It is not like I want Akihko to apologize more or having to prove himself. For me it would me enough if it would be line somewhere like “i know I’ve hurt you a lot” . But no, even during confession scene he talked mostly about himself all the time XD Though he admitted to be childish - it is not the same as regretting wrongdoings. What he done was too severe to be so overlooked even though Haruki forgiven him completely. Or dunno maybe it is again just me being too much of Capicorn.

To sum it up, for me Akiharu relationship is much too close to het romances in mainstream media (like in Marvel movies), where usually you got main male character who has to save the day and his love interest which main role is supporting him on the sideline. And usually she is his kind of reward for his “manning up” when they got together at the end of the story. Therefore these characters are often flawless embodiment of being pure, kind and innocent. They exist as safe haven for protagonist and don’t have usually any arc in the movie. 

And it is the way  Haruki was framed in the story – as being only Akihiko’s salvation and not full-fleshed character who matters as much as him.

Okaaay, so I am done complaining. I don’t want to end here on negative note, so I will add where I hope story would go^^

Basically I want  Haruki to think of himself more, to realize that he doesn’t have to be genius to be good at something, to find out that there are things he is really good at, to realize that he is too hard on himself. That he doesn’t have only to support others, but he matters as person and musician too.

I also want to him to be more independent and be more assertive sometimes. To not putting others before himself and finding out that is okay to selfish sometimes. Even though it would means some tensions and challenges for Given. But I think it is necessary for his growth as person.

If Akiharu is endgame for real, then I want their relationship to be more balanced and it should be shown that Haruki’s needs and wants matter as much as Akihiko’s. And Akihiko should be more understanding and not that he is still too insecure about Haruki’s playing as support (like in the last chapter *sigh*). If not, then I would preferred them to stay as friends.

To put it shortly – I want some proper epiphany for Haruki that he is the one he should love in the first place ^^

Thank you for reading and stay healthy <3

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Any tips on how to write Revali? I have a hard time writing his dialogue and making it sound like him without seeming too ooc. Any pointers would really help! -k

I certainly struggle with dialogue myself, but I will try to tell you what I know!

TL;DR: Revali is a character that I would describe as blunt, but not straightforward. He speaks in a way where he gets to the point, stating his opinion, but is said in a manner that has several uses. His dialogue is multi-purposeful, serving to both tell his opinion while at the same time undermining someone else, highlighting his talents, or otherwise. Use “complex” words and make use of subtext, subtly, and even sarcasm when writing for him, but don’t do it too the point where he sounds like a reincarnated Marie Antoinette, as his dialogue should only be “complex” enough for him to boast of his intelligence, he’s not a fancy noble.

For example, if we analyze this line:

“With proper utilization of my superior skills, I see no reason why we couldn’t easily dispense with Ganon. Now then, my ability to explore the firmament is certainly of note...but let’s not—pardon me for being so blunt—let’s not forget the fact that I am the most skilled archer of all the Rito.” (Revali, Revali’s Flap Cutscene)

We can see that this piece of dialogue is filled with character, which you can tell because message of the dialogue isn’t the only focus. In fact, if you were to break this down, and I rewrite this for the inherent message alone...

“We can defeat Ganon with my great skills. While my ability to fly is important, also we shouldn’t forget—sorry for being blunt—we shouldn’t forget that I am the best Rito archer.”

Both of those pieces of dialogue tell the same message, but it is the way that the first one is crafted with diction, connotation, and subtext that make it more “Revali,” but really, you can use the things I’m about to say for any character.

Diction is the choice of wording. Obviously there are millions of words that can all tell similar things, but it’s your choice as the author to understand the power of certain words. Are you going to say use or utilization? Are you going to use sky or firmament? Scrap or dispense? Sorry or pardon me? Essentially, what I’m saying is that the diction for writing for Revali should reflect his desire to appear superior to others, and his efforts to try and prove that to others (and himself) can usually be reflected through his more complex word choices. He would revel at the notion that he might have to talk down to a certain confused knight if he asked what the word “firmament” meant.

Connotation is the feeling or associating ideas that come with a word. This typically goes hand-and-hand with diction, but they are two separate things. Connotation typically deals with the deeper meaning of a word, further than its textbook definition. Think of the word unique vs the word peculiar. Both essentially mean the same thing, but you usually associate peculiar with negative or strange things, while unique is associated with positive or special things. This is the positive and negative connotation that you can use to give character. Think of stingy vs saving, vintage vs old. It’s not just limited to positive and negative either. When writing for Revali I try to use words that have a connotation that expresses wit. Use superior vs better. Intelligent vs smart. Asinine vs stupid. Of course vs sure or yes. Your choice of words (diction) should not only depends on the sentence structure, rhythm, or alliteration, but also on the connotation.

Finally, subtext is the underlying message of dialogue that is not outright said by a character. Easiest example, sarcasm. You say one thing but mean another. “Ah yes, let’s explore the not-at-all creepy and disturbing catacombs that are sealed deep beneath the castle for mysterious and unknown reasons. I’m sure it will be fine, and the smell of corpses only adds to the growing desire I’m getting to die today. Hurrah!” Revali is the type to use sarcasm, do I even need to explain that? However! Sometimes, that’s the extent that people will go into for subtext, when you should really be using it for nearly every scene you will ever write. Subtext is the bread and butter of interesting scenes, of conflict and tension.

Looking back at the example, Revali says “pardon me for being so blunt.” This line is fantastic not just because of the use of diction, but also because it plays into the dynamic between Revali and Link. Revali think’s Link is unworthy of being the hero, he doesn’t respect him and it’s a blow to his ego that someone seemingly so much worse than him is of higher rank. Revali has no respect for Link. That’s the basic dynamic, and that’s what plays into the subtext. If you read “pardon me for being so blunt” just off the fly, or from some other character, you wouldn’t get the full picture. You might think it’s a fancy butler, the lack of tone might set you off into thinking someone is actually apologetic for something.

But that’s not the case here, the writer for this weaponized the reader’s knowledge of Revali and Link’s dynamic to establish his character. Revali’s not sorry for shit! Have you seen this asshole? I love him. This line was completely unnecessary, but it’s addition to the dialogue not only clued in readers/players to the dynamic between the two, but further enhances character.

Use subtext, let the rule and scenarios you create play into interesting dialogue. Do not, for the love of me, do not just let you character’s outright say what they are doing, which is unfortunately something that Breath of the Wild does a bit too often. Sarcasm, obviously, is one of the more popular forms, but don’t just stick with that. Use the dynamics between characters to create banter, use tension to mask insecurity. Don’t let your character just say “I’m mad at you. I wish you would do this” but please weave that “message” between interesting subtext and I promise your dialogue will be 400% better. Are they going to say “I’m mad.” or are you going to make them talk about something slightly out of their character traits to indicate that something is wrong. Are you going to let a character explain “I wish you would...” or, are you going to let them go off on a witty tangent, where they complain about the things that another character does. Subtext is so much more efficient too! Look at this bit of final screenplay for American Beauty.

Jane: Mom, do we always have to listen to this elevator music?

Now, in the original screenplay, was

Jane: I want us to change the music that we listen to at dinner all the time

The second one sucks, and the reason is subtext. The only information we are being given in the original screenplay is that Jane wants to change the music that they listen to at dinner with their family. In the final screenplay, the dialogue tells us

Jane hates this kind of music

Jane wants to change the music they listen to

The mother has the power in this dynamic

The music is a typical thing this family goes through

Not only that, but the way in which this was said was far more interesting. Elevator music is an insult to her mothers choice of music. In the movie, even the tone in which is actress said this line implies that she was not asking politely, but in a tone that expresses her distaste for the situation.

I could go so far into subtext and dialogue but really you should just watch these videos which will explain it infinitly better than I could:

How To Write Great Dialogue [The Closer Look]

American Beauty (Part 1) — The Art of Character [Lessons From The Screenplay]

On Writing: The First Chapter [hello future me]

Inglorious Bastards — The Element of Suspense [Lessons From the Screenplay and this movie is one of my favs and the first scene is just a masterclass of subtext *chef’s kiss* I love it and also they punch Nazi’s and who doesn’t love a good Nazi punching watch the movie before watching anything else please it’s great unless you’re like thirteen in which case why are you on tumblr]

Final note before I end off yet another fucking essay, wow I write more about writing than actually writing my fics I have a problem, but anyhow, do not think of your characters as individuals. Don’t think, “Oh they can’t say this because that might be out of character,” because while that might be true to an extent, it is ultimately you that determines the circumstances. You are the one crafting the character, don’t rely on the canon always. This character didn’t exist beforehand, there’s no textbook for you to double-check as see “Yep! Right as rain they’re allowed to say that!” No, it’s your job as the writer to justify the words that come out of their mouth by establishing their character, and creating fitting scenarios that fit towards your theme or overarching story. This goes not just for dialogue, but for writing any dynamics, romances, or world building. You could make me believe that Bolson got together with Bularia if you as the writer did a good enough job crafting compelling dialogue, and more importantly character.

Also, don’t write “realistic” dialogue, write believable dialogue

Rant done, pardon me for being so blunt. :P

[the-adhd-society]

Hey, I need some advice if you’ve got the time.

My parents are heavily against adhd meds (they want me to do like meditation and stuff) but nothings working. I’m a complete mess at school. I’m riddled with lack of focus and memory problems. My parents are “willing to talk to someone” but I really think that meds might be more helpful or at least worth a shot.

On top of that, I might being getting a job soon. It’s at a video game store I love and I’m really into games, so that’s exciting. Seeing as we know the owners pretty well, it’s highly likely that I’ll get the job. I want this, really badly, but I’m scared that adhd is going to come hit me like a truck.

I turned fourteen two weeks ago.

Many advice on holding retail jobs with adhd and asking for meds?

(I’m also autistic if that changes anything)

Thanks!

Apparently my draft didn't save. That's annoying. Good thing is wrote out my response..

So my answers really depend on why your parents are against the medication. From my experience parents usually are against meds for two ish main reasons..

1) they are uneducated and or are afraid of the stigma: they are afraid of the side effects or the idea that you will be dependent on it for life. Yadda yadda.

In this case i suggest looking up articles on adhd medication and the benefits and common misconceptions that parents have. At 14 you are past the age for major risks ( that i know of...i'm not a doctor) there are TONS of adhd parent groups and resources that you can direct them to so they can see how others have navigated this before.

I would say something along the lines of " hey parental units (mom dad whom ever). I know that we talked about medication before and I heard your concerns so I did some of my own research can I share with you what I found or send you the links ?

The other "camp" or mentality that parents often have is. "It's not really a problem" (denial).

They might say that you are exaggerating, just not trying hard enough, looking for excuses and just aren't trying.

With this one, it's really difficult but it might help to work with them. Or let them think you are working with them. Talk about where you are struggling, talk about the plans that you make to keep organized and where you need help. Talk to them about the best way that they can support you. Showing them that you are "trying" might help them to see that you need more help. Also showing them how much effort and thought you are putting In might help as well.

This could sound like " hey parental, I am trying to meditate like you mentioned. But I can't seems to keep my mind in one place while practicing what do i do ? "

Or " hey I am really struggling with getting all of my assignments done on time. This is what i tried in the past and this is what i am doing now, can you help me find a better way to be successful ? "

You can also just be really upfront and say " i am really struggling with ay and z, i have tried abc but it has not helped. I'm getting really stressed and worried that my grades are going to drop. It is upsetting because i will spend five hours trying to get one assignment done but i seem to get off track. I want to be successful and i know i am capable but i just can't get it all done"

Now i want to say straight up in some cultures and in some households, this type of conversation might be a lot. You might want to look for ppl with adhd from a similar background to see what they did. ( I'm very white and have had many conversations with people about how in their families this is taboo.) .

anyways. I also wanted to let you know that this entire situation is ableism. Just an fyi the fact that you can't get the medical treatment that you need.

I think it is important to talk about medication as a tool to be successful. It's not a cure all and it does have it's draw backs ( price, side effects etc). So don't get your hopes up if you try one drug and it doesn't work well on the first try

The person they are going to talk to do you know how they feel about medication ? Perhaps try and have a conversation with that person beforehand you can say something like. " i know my parents are looking to talk to you about medication, it's something that is really important to me, do you have 5-10 mims where we can talk about it so i can give you my perspective ?"

Obviously you probably might need to ask your parents for permission but just a suggestion. ( if it is someone from school i say go ahead and do it but idk who they are going to talk to).

Moving on to memory things:

I think you need to look at specifically what is the issue that you are having. Are you spending too much time on one assignment so you can't get others done ? Do you forget what is due when ? Do you not leave enough time to do the work so you are stuck cramming ?

Different issues call for different plans. I'd also talk to your case manager or disability person at your school. If you are in the u.s. you should have an IEP or a 504.

With online learning(and in general) you can ask for accommodations such as reducing the work load ( instead of answering 10 questions and writing 4 paragraphs, you do five questions amd two paragraphs)

You can ask for extended time for homework or to not get points off if it is late. There are many different things you can do. The point with homework and assignments is to show comprehension and mastery. If you are able to do that then the other requirements aren't as important. But that is something you amd your parents need to advocate for. And if theu are against bring up that it is just during thr pandemic.

This is what i did organization wise when i was on college.

I went through each of my classes and wrote down in my planner the home work for the entire semester (you might only be able to do it a week at a time) of when they were due ( in pencil).

I wrote down all of then due dates and reminders the week before they were due for larger projects. Then i had a very large desk calendar that i wrote all of my papers and tests on.

Before i would leave class i would write down in pen the homework for next time. (Again second time)

When i would go home i would wrote those assignments on a post it note so i knew what needed to be done for the day(third time). At NO POINT did i ever rely on my memory. I set up clear expectations of what i was going to work one for that day.

find what works for you. Maybe you need a small white board to write down your assignments for the day or week. Maybe you need to write it on a post it note before the end of class. You might need a mix of google calender and post it notes Figure out what works best for and then create a structure around it.

I also used a time app called productivity timer that can help with time blindness and i used another app to lock me out of apps.

In terms of retail. I have no idea friend. Lol.

Let me know if this helps and i would love if any younger people have suggestions.. Or parents. Or literally anyone.

[themattress]

Using this video as a segue into this post, which ignores the dregs of the Fandom Menace who were never going to like this movie and just distills the five main points made by critics.

1. It threw away what The Last Jedi established. 2. It's too chock-full of stuff and with too rushed a pace.  3. It has no deep themes and nothing insightful to say. 4. It lacks imagination and is all rehashing and nostalgia-bait fanservice. 5. It's a disappointing ending to both a trilogy and a nine-film saga.

1. This criticism seems to recur the most, since critics didn’t just like TLJ and Rian Johnson’s vision for the franchise, they loved it; they were blown away by it. So naturally it cuts deep when they see TROS set back a lot of what TLJ established (Rey actually does come from a noteworthy lineage, actually does have to undergo true Jedi training, and even ends up becoming a Skywalker. Finn is back to hanging out with Rey rather than Rose, and Rose herself has a minor role. Poe is prone to being reckless and hot-tempered again. Luke isn’t a grumpy old man anymore. Kylo Ren, after reforging his old mask, is redeemed while a decrepit old wielder of the Dark Side is the Big Bad. Hux doesn’t get much of a role and is killed off midway through. The Force-sensitive children like that “broom boy” don’t factor into anything. The story takes a familiar path rather than subverting audience expectations.) Honest Trailers even joked that the film was the long-awaited sequel to The Force Awakens rather than to The Last Jedi. And I can understand this critique, it’s a valid one to make. 

But I’d also have to argue that not only is J.J Abrams entitled to bring the story back in line with his old ideas from his time making TFA since Disney and Lucasfilm specifically reached out to him to direct TROS (and c’mon, Rian Johnson threw out TFA’s establishment first, if it’s wrong of J.J then it was wrong of Rian too), and that a film that exactly followed TLJ’s establishment like Colin Trevorrow’s unproduced Duel of the Fates would feel too bleak and wrong for the franchise, but that the movie doesn’t ignore TLJ as much as it’s made out. The events of TLJ still happened exactly as we saw them, they are still acknowledged, and they are even built upon in interesting ways. I loved seeing Luke no longer a grumpy old man because that’s what TLJ’s climax set up with him: he learned the error of his ways and re-embraced his status as a Jedi and as a legend. The galaxy coming to the Resistance’s aid in the final battle is the perfect pay-off to them not doing so in the Battle of Crait and shows how Luke’s last stand really did inspire hope once more. I loved the three-way power struggle in the First Order between Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Hux and (representing Palpatine’s interests) Pryde. I thought Palpatine being behind Snoke made perfect sense. I’m glad Rose was still present at all. I though Kylo Ren’s redemption was handled very well. And I loved Rey becoming a Skywalker in the end, that just felt like such a right conclusion to me.

2. There’s an easy explanation as to why it’s chock-full with stuff - Kathleen Kennedy didn’t require Rian Johnson to adapt any of it in TLJ even though much of it was conceived by J.J Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan when making TFA. J.J literally needed to fit two movies’ worth of content into this one movie because TLJ spent too much time wheel-spinning and navel-gazing (and keep in mind that I like TLJ; but I’m not going to pretend like it didn’t screw the pooch on multiple fronts). As for the pace, I definitely agree when it comes to the first act and whoever thought it was a good idea to excise so much of what was filmed for it needs to be slapped upside-down the head. But things start to improve after the big Pasaana canyon race, and once they get off Pasaana altogether the pace settles down into the usual SW film groove. I think critics were so burned by that first half-hour that it colored their impression of the rest of the film, even when looking at it objectively the rest of the film does have a lot more breathing room and calmer, introspective moments between the big action set pieces. 

3. I see this a lot from critics and am all...?????? I’m sorry, did we watch the same movie!? “They win by making you think you’re alone, but there’s more of us”. “Your mother’s gone. But what she stood for, what she fought for.... that’s not gone.”  “We had each other. That’s how we won.” “Your spirit...your heart...some things are stronger than blood”. These themes are every bit as spelled out as the themes from TLJ that critics praised so much...but then, critics thought that one of TLJ’s themes was the villain’s justification of his own atrocities (”Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to”) so maybe them missing all of these themes isn’t so surprising. 

4. First off, the “lacking imagination” criticism will always astound me when The Force Awakens is one of the most critically praised films in the series and it literally ripped off the entire plot structure of A New Hope. None of the “member berries” in this film came close to that level of rehashing. Secondly, Star Wars has been all about nostalgia and pleasing crowds (”fanservice”) since its inception, and recycling various set-ups and tropes and sequences has been a thing for a long time (to quote George Lucas: “It’s like poetry, they rhyme.”) And lastly, this is the finale to the Skywalker Saga, so of fucking course it’ll be full of nostalgia and fanservice and sequences reminiscent of all the previous films! It’s a celebration as well as a send-off! Avengers: Endgame is a critical darling, and it literally traveled back in time to several of the past movies that led up to it! So what’s the problem here? I, for one, thought it was very cleverly and seamlessly done for the most part, and being done in the framework of a dumb, goofy blockbuster (which was all Star Wars was originally meant to be; it was never meant to be taken as seriously as it unfortunately has).

5. The main reasoning behind this criticism is that TROS fully exposes and embodies Disney and Lucasfilm’s lack of planning when it came to the Sequel Trilogy, which is so disheartening that it makes this finale a disappointing one to both the trilogy and the whole saga. First of all, every finale has been considered disappointing in their times: ROTJ was possibly even more loathed by fans and critics (while still enjoyed by general audiences) than TROS, and while ROTS got middling reviews from critics, it was still considered to be flat-out bad just like its predecessors by fans - being the least bad of them wasn’t high praise (even the general audience enjoyment seemed more tepid compared to ROTJ and TROS). On all fronts, the perception of the movies only improved with age, so that will likely be the same case here.

More importantly, anyone who did their homework or even some simple critical thinking not only could have realized that there was no plan for the Sequel Trilogy from the days of TLJ, but from the days of TFA. From the moment that movie rehashed the plot of A New Hope and relied heavily on Mystery Boxes to hook viewers, I knew there was no solid plan for this trilogy and that they were making it up as they went along. When you’re aware of this fact well in advance, I think that you end up being more impressed by TROS for being able to wrap the trilogy and saga up in the tight, definitively close-ended way that it did. I know that I certainly was. Much of this had to do with J.J Abram’s idea to bring back Palpatine. People whine that he was brought in with no foreshadowing at the last minute and that he was nowhere near the Sequel Trilogy beforehand and that him being here makes ROTJ pointless, and yet not only was Palpatine everywhere near the whole saga from the very beginning (which, as J.J has said, would make it bizarre for it to end without him), but ROTJ was already made pointless by TFA by its decision to reverse all the heroes’ victories and bring back the Empire. If Palpatine, the Emperor, the very creator of the Empire, did not find a way to return from his defeat in ROTJ and was thus not behind the Empire’s resurrection, how fucking cheap would that be? Some random other decrepit, all-powerful Dark Side wielder just came along and brought it back to the point of reversing all the heroes’ victories? And then he gets supplanted by Han and Leia’s son, which would make the Sequel Trilogy and whole saga’s Final Boss the guy who humiliatingly got his ass handed to him in both previous films’ climaxes? IMHO, the Sequel Trilogy really would suck if that was what it amounted to! That would be a true “disappointing ending to both a trilogy and a nine-film saga.” When it comes to the film series (the Skywalker Saga), the only valid excuse for not ending the conflict with the Empire in ROTJ is if the Emperor wasn’t truly vanquished in it. Period.

It ain’t J.J’s fault that he was actually looking at the bigger picture while critics were not.

Bonus: another video plug, because this guy is a Star Wars fan that truly deserves it.