#so how do u even have fun anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whydoifeelthisquiet · 2 years ago

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#abby doesnt shut up #being a swiftie rn is incredibly conflicting #like I have all this love for someone who is dating someone with so much hate for ppl like me & ppl I love #and we’ve been waiting so long for this tour #and cool things are happening #and then he’s there and taylor supports him #so how do u even have fun anymore #then you feel shitty for going to tour at all even though it’s your dream #and you think about how all of her promises and morals have flown out the window #then you’re like oh great this is my only safe space and I’m mad but cannot leave #and then I love her #and then she doesn’t speak out #and then she’s pictured with that monster #then I want to protect her from the tiktokers stalking her #then I’m sad again #and I say this just being disabled. I cannot imagine how other marginalized swifties feel.#so please just be gentle with everyone rn. this is not cut & dry and ppl are allowed to feel multiple things at once.#if I see you yelling at marginalized fans for going to tour it’s ON SIGHT. they shouldn’t have to bear this burden and lead the way by -#-giving up their tickets. we all still love her and that’s why we’re angry.

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hinamie · 3 months ago

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alongside someone like you

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #itafushi #fushiita #fanart #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk 266 #jjk leaks #i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED #collapses dead #cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning #2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed #rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing #n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it #clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings #1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what #but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal #third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog #oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute #also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless #cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u #ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile

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swordbreakerz · 7 months ago

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Being aromantic and finding that out in ur 20s is soooooooo funny bc I met the 3 people I consider my soulmates (one of whom is now my qpp) in october of 2016, and both before and after this i dated a few people but as i grew closer and closer w this group and also came into my gender and sexuality over the yrs, id sometimes wonder why i didnt crave romantic fulfillment anymore, and not fantasize about having a long term bf or anything. It didn't really worry me? Like, I wasn't concerned about it, but I would go like huh wonder what's up w that. Oh well not my problem!, every now and then

And then thru making friends w a bunch of arospec folks I was finally like oohhhhhhhh it's because my emotional fulfillment needs are already met and these people and our friendship is an intrinsic part of my being and i love them more than i can ever hope to describe. Got it!

#and z speaks #its not like i didnt know what aromanticism was! i even id'd as ace for awhile! im not anymore but i was on those fringes right #and its bc im aro in the weirdest way possible #bc i loveeee love and romance and i enjoy dating! sort of!#im one of those ppl that skips right to the old marroed couple phase bc i Hate the casual small talk phase #and i get crushes on my friends a lot bc i have so much love in my heart to give #its just not like. romantic!#if youve read the scholomance trilogy just look at el. thats me #we're aro in the same way #ANYWAY im just thinking about non traditional love and affection and how id let my friend silver do martial arts on me if they werent at the #other end of the state #and how in love i am w my qpp. and my embarrassing crush on [REDACTED bc i KNOW nos js gonna see this. no one can know] is #the worst part about that crush is its probably like glaringly obvious to them and i dont care That much bc having crushes is fun #i dont intend to act on it im just vibing #but the thought. that they might know. little mortifying #if u read all of these tags ur owed financial compensation

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kuromi-hoemie · 10 hours ago

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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™

but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.

#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little #thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week #i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19 #(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional #and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but #exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that #the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person #has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately #but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me #and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead #give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if #i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡⁠ i am learning how to #draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively #writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა #learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of #other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა #that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time #i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price

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cowboy-robooty · 8 months ago

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imma be real with u guys i actually unironically love danganronpa but only the source content i hate 99.99999% of fan content so fucking much.

LISTEN THIS IS A HETALIA BLOG NONE OF US ARE BETTER THAN DANGANRONPAERS AND EVERYONE WHO IS UNAWARE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND DANGANRONAPERS TREAT KOKICHI THE WAY HETALIA FANS TREAT ENGLAND. EXCEPT WORSE. SOMEHOW 100000x WORSE

#AND IM 20 FEET UNDER IN THIS HETALIA SHITSHOW I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE BEEN DOING TO ENGLAND SINCE 2008 #DANGANRONPA IS REALLY FUCKING GOOD ITS HILARIOUS #ALL THE CHARACTERS HAVE SWISS CHEESE FOR BRAINS #THE GAME IS FUN I LIKE THE MINI GAMES I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT YES I LIKE THE FUCKASS DANGANRONPA STANCE ITS FUNNY #THE FIRST GAME IS THE BEST ONE BECAUSE NGL THEY WERE NOT PUSHED THAT HARD TO KILL EACHOTHER LOL #AND ALSO THERES AN ENTIRE PART WHERE U GOTTA CONVINCE ONE KF THE CHARACTERS THAT ANOTHER ONE ISNT A GHOST #AND ALSO BYAKUYA TELLS TOKO TO STOP TALKING AND SHE STRAIGHT UP DOESNT FOR LIKE 2 DAYS AND NOBODY CARES LOL #toko is actually an incredible acomplishment because she is so genuinely insufferable and awful and everybody hates her for half the game #and then somehow by the end of it she hasnt changed but you just like her now its an amazing phenomenon #i cant think of a single other character that ive thought to be the actual worst and then later i like them so much even tho they havent #changed at all #bruh in universe shes hated too like theres that part where junko kidnaps everyones loved ones and we see peoples families n shjt #and then toko only has her goddamn pet stink bug #now that nobody likes danganronpa anymore (thank god) ill make my clearing kokichis name post one day... BECAUSE OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU #PEOPLE DONE TO HIM #HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM HE DOESNT SLIT HIS WRISTS HES A GAMER

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l-sincline · 9 months ago

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I have not watched RWBY in years but it is very sad to see it get fucked with the shut down of roosterteeth. I honestly genuinely hope it gets picked up (and rebooted cough) by some people that are passionate about it and won’t treat it as a cash grab

#sincline txt #RWBY #RWBY was actually such a huge part of my childhood #it’s sad to see it not reach its end even if I wasn’t following it anymore #I really do think it has so much potential and that a reboot would really be able to do right by it #but I guess we’ll have to wait and see #if nobody else will… I WILL #lol can u imagine #fr though I would have fun with that #anyways #yada yada I hate how easy it is for big corporations to throw away passion and artistry

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shirogane-oushirou · 21 days ago

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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch #on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or #old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing #and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me #even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me #housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong #(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display #outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in #some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt #my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's #only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then #disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 1 month ago

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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

#you know it's funny #i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this #on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and #the friend that i lost last year checked my account and #i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me #because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry #bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man #i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot #but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also #i dont fit in that friendship anymore #but im still really greatful #for checking up on me even like this #*most of my life #noticed a typo #idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself #all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday #im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations #trying to convince myself that its oka #it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im #terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi #g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul #i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda #hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not #that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m #friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread #knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb #i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps #anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but #i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much

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crossbackpoke-check · 1 month ago

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re your notes on the mack post: oh. my. gosh and also 100% AGREED 😵‍💫

(he and will are both ******* those old men lbr)

- @bondedpairs

sometimes i have brief moments of introspection in which i wonder whether or not there are things better left in my drafts and usually i say fuck it we ball and then we DO ball and i love y’all for that. would you still love me if i whip out my footnotes and references

FOOTNOTES:

*somewhere in there is an aside about mack having to think about joe stroking somebody ELSE’s dick on the bench and having a panic about it.

**i DO see the will smith mackelini celebrini ?!;&/‘os everyone has been posting. that is the devil talking as in i cannot become invested or else it will ruin me. f1vegas you are NOT forgiven for putting ‘the tk/pat parking garage vibes of it’ in front of my eyes like my! god! i do NOT WANT TO KNOW THE NARRATIVE (too compelling i think. too much to get into with the bc(?)/bu rivalry and zeev buium was there and there’s another shark too somewhere??. i can’t care about a fish a MACKEREL you guys and will smith is not allowed to be my sharks bicycle because the team whoré borde already exists!!) where i was trying to go is sometimes you both fuck the same old man and he’s like. losers. get a polycule. and they end up together (obviously to me jumbo is in an ???? with patty and burnsie)

ABBV. REFERENCES:

ro’s other post where mack says to “ask smitty about [hunting cougars]” (src: holyjost)

ko’s transcript of fun facts from the interview that made me too endeared. girl nobody made you take advertising courses?? change your major

aforementioned f1vegas post. this is by tags alone because after reading that i was not capable of watching the video

#me like OH THANK GOD SOMEONE ASKED I STILL HAD TWO WHOLE SECTIONS TO TALK ABOUT AND I DIDNT GET TO MY FAVORITE PART OF JOE GOING #you get negative aura points for pining after each other. god mack it’s like you have no rizz.#(every time i try to write slang i am so afraid i am using it wrong. are these terms even still relevant to the Youths anymore.)#ALSO I GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO USE THIS MEME I HAVE HAD IT SAVED SO LONG is it perfect for this no but my other option was on my puter so.#HELLLOOOOO BESTIEEEEEE i love when we have the same brainworms. thank u for seeing the vision. i was like. i can’t do this.#everyone in the tags is talking about how cute and giggly mack is & some of THEM are also learning the dick trick story for the first time #and while i agree. uh. yeah. that is not the direction i crashed this train towards. i know i have the same narrative plot points somewhere #(and i think they’re with carey and pk??? but pk gets a worlds hall pass and gets other people together???) but this one is different shhhh #i am at Heart a lover of the theme!! sometimes u don’t even know what u want!! sometimes u misplace yourself!! love is not static!!! usw.#liv in the replies #bondedpairs #san jose sharks #mackelin celebrini #macklin celebrini #joe thornton #<- for my sorting purposes #also i don’t know how to convey the way that my brain treats saying mackelin celebrini’s name it’s like when you have a pet #and their name just devolves like at first i legit didn’t really know him and just thought it was fun and was like mackelini celebrini!#he celebrate! he syllabic rhyme! just like how i call moyle noly moly sometimes but then my brain sees his name #and i’m like ah yes. mackerel. macaroni. cerebellum. coconut macaroon. fish noodle boy. mackELeeni cellleeebreenie usw usw

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x3daffo · 2 months ago

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new eye mesh for my fursuit head came in and im trying to draw her and/or a ref again so its accurate but its just not working and im real close to commissioning a ref sheet from someone because i just cant draw anymore

#its a little upsetting because i used to be so good at it and have so much fun but its just gone #even the lasso tool isnt working for me anymore... </3 #if u do fursona ref sheets reply pls 😻😻#idk how much they cost im willing to spend like 50 dollars #question mark #furry #furry artist #fursona #sfw fursona #furry oc #sfw furry #anthro art #furry sfw

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ajdrawshq · 5 months ago

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oct2path has become real.........

#the opening music and visuals are gorgeous as always <3 #oh my god they even have 2 versions . one for night and one for day. holy shit ???#oh the night one is so pretty.......#THE MAP IS ALSO REALLY PRETTY......#omg throné hiiiiiii #i knew from the beginning that i was picking her first and finally i can !!!!! amazing #woah woah is that their names written at the bottom of their art ?? is that . a made up language??? WAIT ITS MULTIPLE ?#thats so cool what the hell #i LOVE how much theyre using different camera angles and movement in this hholy shit. i didnt even know i needed this #WOAH HEY WHAT HELLO. NON TRAVELER TEAM MEMBERS????#THERES SO MANY NEW UNIQUE ANIMATIONS.......#hey . pirro. do i know that voice.#THE MUSIC IS STAYING DURING REGULAR ENCOUNTERS.. thats so interesting. i like it for this #oh my god u can change the speed during fights . ohhhh my god #this is so awesome i fucking love this game #U CAN CLIMB THE LADDER !!!!!!!!!!!#throné just being able to knock out ppl as a game mechanic is so funny this rules #wait is throné left handed. hell yeah #HOLY SHIT THE MUSIC . <3 #(throné voice) go fuck yourself #THE CITY AT NIGHT IS SO PRETTYYYYY AND THE MUSIC.......#<im probably not gonna shut up abt how good everything looks and sounds but im so serious this game is beautiful #i swear i know pirros voice from somewhere but Where.... who are u.....#damn !! this game is kinda dark as fuck !!!!#!!!!!!!!! ohhhhhh my god the musical references to octo1 are so .evbxjjdhjshjvjsk holy shit this is good #TEMENOS' INTRO . FKVSJDJS #this is such a fun way to do character intros compared to octo1 #so they dont follow the sacred flame here (anymore)..? interesting .......#octotag #octopath traveler 2 spoilers

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elegyofthemoon · 1 year ago

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actually i kinda wonder now if theyll put veliona into hsr or is she just sorta mixed into this seele?

#snow plays hsr #idk enough about veliona i just see her everytime i decide to start crying about seele so im just 🤔 thinking #but at this point i often wonder just how much theyll take from honkai impact and put into star rail #i feel like its going to wind up being more spin off and completely separate but what do i know im new to honkai impact #and im not even up to date with star rail #but yeah.....#its already pretty fun though seeing the parallels between bronseele for both stories (i love them sm)#but i wonder how much more #not that i can appreciate it at this point but yeah #'snow why are u posting about this here' bc im sleepy and i dont care anymore.#i wanna post more about viddygame thoughts like i used to tbh #ik i would do it on a rambling blog but #what if. i just. do it here. :)#tbh i need more hi3 friends/mutuals. im new so i have zero clue about anything but... people to annoy #ANYWAYS good night #wait veli might be separate i just dont know it works just yet #WE WILL LEARN ITS OK #im just a newbie.... the lore too big for my brain to understand but we are putting pieces together 🔍

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girlthativealwaysbeen · 5 months ago

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my best friend's MOTHER called me to scold me about being depressed and self isolating lol what has life even come to

#she was like. kya hua why won't you meet her she's saying you're busy do you have exams or something #and she knows too much about me so she's like beta exam toh agli saal hai na #it was more like pyaar se scolding ki mil liya karo usse acche lagega she's very sad she misses you #i was like. hmph. what??? she certainly hasn't said that to me #im kinda sick and tired of begging people to make me a priority pay attention to me tbh. i did ask to meet but she was like you come to my #house only i won't come to your house. even tho last few months ive been to her house soooo many times because of her parental drama #i don't want to go anymore im trying to study consistently and we don't sleep at all during nighout and i don't even want to waste a single #day. plus dad is being so weird and involved these days i can't even just sneak out. i mean if she came to my home atleast i wouldn't be so #tired that id waste the whole next day. but she doesn't wanna and she doesn't even have a reason so i just let it be i gave up #but aunty made me feel so guilty so whatever i texted like hey u wanna meet #tbh i don't want to sit and listen to her boyfriend drama all night. she never wants to do stuff together anymore we used to watch movies #we used to dance to songs we used to have so much fun. we were even planning on drinking but she keeps cancelling. now it's just endless #talk about how she feels so lonely and how she misses the guys so fuckinh much and howshe can't stop talking to them and how she needs them #to fill the gap the empty space #well fuck you!!! i feel the same and you don't give a fuck. you blow me off constantly don't hangout for a month even when we're in the #same city !! so we fuck you go to your boys and go your cousin ill be on my fucking own then always on my own desperately #trying everything to fix myself enough to move forward so my life doesn't fall apart and comes to a crashing halt #okay im definitely pmsing but whatever

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leoxxii · 6 months ago

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ok im editing my desktop themes again but im too tired to finish them up 2night. this post is a reminder to myself to FINISH DOING THAT!!!

#also a reminder to me to check out ppls desktop themes more often bc ohhhh so pretty <3 #im like very happy actually w how my main blog looks rn. even tho i rlly dont think many ppl actually use themes anymore #or go to full pages to see them bc of how tumblrs kinda. hid that feature almost?? and its just not on mobile at all #which is u know what can u do. BUT SOME OF THEM LOOK SO PRETTY !!! i want more customization on mobile </3 #i would also try to sit down and properly tag all my shit but i have like 22k posts and i am NOT going to go back and tag all of that #that would take. god that would take forever #i mean. ehhh maybe. no. NO. im not doing that thats insane. well no i could watch some movies while doing it #whats that one post. the time will pass anyway. maybe i should.#i need to come up w tags for everything first tho :p #whats a fun general post tag i can use....#.txtii #ooooo i like that one. WE'RE GOING W THAT ONE #ok getting sidetracked heavily. into the schedule u go

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fruitscones · 6 months ago

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Can I say smth controversial. I think I’ve said it before. But I wish MCR had just stayed in the past. The fanbase that has come from the reunion is .. so… AGH

#also like ofc I love emo and nostalgia these are things everyone knows abt me #but when u make ur whole personality that you USED to be emo?? that’s embarrassing #and like. still make fun of new emo / gen alpha / z. the same way the older people in ur life made fun of u #and then also do the whole ‘what the new kids are listening to isn’t real emo u have to listen to these bands that I like or ur a poser’#like ok go off it’s embarrassing how scared u are of new music and of change and of things evolving and esp #of kids having fun and engaging in subcultures to find themselves RHE SAME WAY U DI #DID #AND U GOT RIDUCULED FOR IT SO UR GONNA TURN AROUND AND DO THE SAME #I’m ngl I’ve been guilty of this in the past I think we all have a gatekeeper devil on our shoulder but U HAVE TO SHUT HIM UP #u will be happier for it and u will see the world in such. a beautiful way when u stop #acting like changes in subcultures u like are a personal attack on ur #nostalgia #ESP WHEN U ARENT EVEN PARTICIPATING ANYMORE U JUST GO ONLINE #AND TALK ABT MCR #Jesus

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bmpmp3 · 7 months ago

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speaking of genbu's "serious" sounding tone in his voicebank, i think that might be why he was such a dead ringer for teto pre-synthv-bank-release with just a couple little gender parameter tweaks. wait do my followers know this. sorry i know most of my vocal synthesizer talk is genuinely gibberish to my beloved and loyal long time followers but do you guys know this. for a few years, people had discovered that since utau teto and genbu have this similar strong enunciation and dark sounding tone plus teto can have a bit of a tomboyish edge to her voice anyway -> if u mess with some parameters and phonemes he'll sound close enough to her, so it became a bit of running gag in the community, along with just being a genuine and novel use case for his voicebank. actually recently i found out about someone who made a couple of synthv scripts to set genbus voice to his falsetto pitch and set the tension to drop during each syllable automatically to make him sound like the utau sora amaha. genbu's purpose is to impersonate other vocal synthesizers

#i wasnt familiar with sora until i found that video. apparently she's voiced by lon? like that lon? like the utaite?#which is really neat! every day i find out about another utaite or seiyuu or someone who is involved with vocal synths in some fashion #im still reeling from anju inami providing the voice for a cevio bank! oh and the other day #i learned that the utaite kano was involved with the japanese version of luo tianyi #only to clear up some pronunciations - most of the bank is apparently the original provider. but its really interesting!#also jk jk genbu i love you. you are youre own vocal synth. you dont have to be her (teto). be yourself!!!!!!#i do love when people make teto and genbu have beef though. its so funny to me #tbh ive never been a teto user. shes not bad or anything i just never had any desire to use her utau bank. i keep her sv lite around tho #just in case i feel like making her bully genbu or something. bully that grown ass man #wait is she older or younger. i forgot how her fucked up chimera age worked again. oh well. whether ur 30 or 16 u can still bully him <3 #its a family activity. fun for all ages! anyway yeah i was never much of a teto user. tbh i think its just because like #if i want to hear a teto cover someone else probably has already done it far better than i could even think to LOL #i like when other people use her! sasuke haraguchi's use of her in hitomania and igaku has been magnifique #but i think with vsynths i prefer to use voices i like that no one uses much LOL #gives me much more drive to make covers if i know im one of the few doing it HJKDSLJ #whenever i get tired to pitchbending fast syllables (my least favourite part LOL) i think to myself.... i must.... i must....#do it for him (genbu)..... hes not very popular since hes not the only male japanese voice anymore..... i must do it for HIM!!!!!!#(tunes one phoneme and explodes on impact)

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