#so henry is like 24? here. probably. which is why he looks like this

[mariesbee]

something something idk how to draw them yet

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Script: Meraki Thoughts and Notes, ACT I

...Remember when I said if we don't get something new I'll reach the phase where I dissect the movie frame to frame?

Yeah so I did decide to annotate the bloody script I am that obsessed, will put this into either two parts or three parts, this is from the start to Paris

Highlight:

Red: Deleted Scenes

Yellow: Different from the movie

Blue: Fun/Interesting Movement Descriptions

Green: Extra Information of character/set

Right off the bat, we have a deleted scene

I need someone to enlighten me about these markings: what do the numbers and letters mean? I searched online and it said that numbers means a scene, but what counts as one scene? And what is the letter then?

Again, three more deleted scenes, what the fuck. And why is the first one labelled 1? Was the movie originally supposed to start there before they added the receiving line in re-shoots?

Henry was shaking a person's hand when Alex comes up to him in the movie

TRIES TO LICK IT???? ALEX THE FUCK

Also note how the frosting thing is before "tell me something" here but after that line in the movie: In the movie, Henry didn't not see any of the frosting shenanigans since he turned away to greet someone else. The script doesn't state what Henry's doing while Alex fucks up

Two more deleted scenes!!! One of which should be Aneesh's favourite scene to film where Alex asks her how much trouble does she think he's in

Canonical Zahra and Ellen age

Ellen staring at Alex was not in the final cut, we go from the credits directly to Ellen's line. Also the "killing him" is sort of a book reference: P28 Ellen: "all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term"

TWO MORE DELETED SCENES WHAT THE FUCK

ANOTHER ONE

Ah so that's why Taylor's post of him in "Kensington Gardens" captioned “IT'S ALL LUSHHH”

Huh, he's awed

Nick improvised Henry's "Both" line

Clench teeth not that visible in the actual scene but we get the message

"Juicy photo" what the fuck

"This won't be fun" about that Alex....

Two more, one of which is the Cornetto scene, what's the other one?

Obviously we did not get this line about the outlets in the movie, but also ??? Do American outlets not have lights? Is he talking about this thing? (the red part is a light)

Henry you're enjoying yourself aren't you

ANOTHER ONE

Well this is a mess

"Essentially Spooning" WHAT

I feel like "isn't entirely unsexy" is from the book but I can't remember???

"The most shit-eating of grins"

He didn't wave, he did the V hands. That was probably Taylor lol

Canonical Oscar Age! So both Oscar and Ellen are 55, let's say movie Alex is 25 then Jesus Christ he's right they were babies when they had Alex

ANOTHER ONE I'M SOBBING AT HOW MANY AT THIS POINT

Firstprince Book list!!!

So this is the opposite in the movie: Henry was the one to turn around and face up instead of Alex, Alex was staring at imaginary Henry the whole time until he went to press "hang up" on his phone, on his other side

what the fuck 😭

Canon Percy Age: 24!

He was in fact wearing a white blazer with black swirls (I really liked that outfit).

"Percy is just as impressive as his clothes" HELL YEAH

"coppery-mustard"

"knowing smirk" the fuck

POST WALLFLOWER LMFAO

"dancing his ass off" love your word choice Matthew

"subtly bops to the music" yup, somehow think that applied to Nick at parties too

Aww Alex finds it "ridiculously endearing"

"even sexier midnight kiss" lmfao

"crestfallen" awww nooo Henry bbg :(

"Everyone's hands are on him, wanting a piece of ACD"... huh.

WHAT IS IT NOW

"They look so right together"

"panic growing in his chest, genuine fear crossing his face" HENRY　😭

"utterly gobsmacked" again, interesting choice of words, but accurate

TWO MORE WHAT THE FUCK

Alex was not on the floor, he was stretching against the sofa, I feel like that's a Taylor thing, but also he needs to see the TV on the wall

AGAIN????? MATTHEW!!!!

"Young James Bond" YUP

"entranced by Henry"

THREE???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

"trying out the perfect suave and sophisticated pose to greet Henry" ends up just standing straight

Can you fucking imagine the table read and Matthew saying "and THEY GO AT IT BABY"

"raw and aggressive and hot -- like they're trying to eat each other"

Note that the movement description didn't mention lifting Henry on the table or Alex hitching his thigh up, so that was designed on set

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CLOSE-UP????

“Gently” are we sure about that

"the bluest balls on the planet" lmfao

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE DELETED HERE OH MY GOD

"utterly devasting" yup

Okay there's a lot of differences here: Henry doesn't close the door, Alex grabs Henry's waist not vice verse, Henry kissed down his neck and chest after this dialogue and they tumble over the sofa, but also how to you expect him to kiss Alex's chest while simultaneously unbuttoning his shirt when they're both verticle

"J Crew finest" straight from the book

"The power of his thighs", "his arse bouncing hard in the saddle"

"who has never been so jealous of a saddle" OH MY GOD PFFTTT

I guess 55 is the extended polo scene with Bea and Pez

"attack each other" "pawing"

"Alex can't decide where to put his hands because he wants to put them everywhere at once" Istg this is a book line but I can't find it at the moment, will update when I do

YANKS in all caps

"Their meals are gone" So the photos from Matthew's BTS post where they had their meals was before this scene? But there isn't a deleted scene before or after the Paris cafe scene in the script?

Henry is charmed, huh

"whistles in amazement"

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO WINK?

Alex didn't laugh, we start the hotel scene with his back to the camera

"Henry wraps his arms around him" ... sorta? But in the movie it's Alex's shoulders

"on Henry's chest" okay yeah so this was for short Alex, TZP would have to contort himself to do that

In the movie we only see Henry undressing

(Dammit two more images but I reached the posting limit, hang on)

[zalrb]

Red White and Royal Blue Review

I'm sorry but as the president's son, wouldn't you know not to get drunk at an official engagement like this?

Is that cake about to get ruined because it feels like the cake is about to get ruined. I didn't see the trailer.

2. Yes, it was ruined. I feel like I should be drunk for this.

3. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY REPUTATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. I was like what’s going on with Uma Thurman but I realize she’s trying to do an accent. I do not think it’s working.

5. This ... looks weird to me

It almost looks like photoshop, idk.

6. I’ve only been watching this for ten minutes but .. why can’t I remember his name, whatever president son dude, I think he’s the weakest link. The dialogue isn’t as snappy as it thinks it is although I did chuckle at the “you’ll act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin D deficiency” but Zahra sells the quick “snappy” wit with more ease than he does. He isn’t comfortable with it.

7. Equerry dude is hotter than both of them.

8. Alex. His name is Alex.

9. Honestly, out of the two of them, Alex is acting like the bigger jackass.

10. Yeah, Alex kinda irritates me.

11. He flirts better with Miguel. Those eyes?

like I know we’re not at the flirty part with Henry yet but I can already tell we’re not going to get the same energy.

12. I don’t think you understand the laugh that came out of my mouth when I saw this

because it’s basically like they each got their own Black Best Friend and I know this is supposed to be like DIVERSITY.

13. “Omg people would kill to come to my NYE party” so far, this is a pretty basic party, sir.

14. So Henry is supposed to be uptight and posh and Alex is supposed to be more carefree, the drunk partier dude, but the thing is, the actor doesn’t come across carefree, he feels like he’s trying to be carefree so he actually makes me feel more uptight than Henry because I’m like, you’re not letting loose but you’re supposed to be the loose one.

15. TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW TO THE WALL! TILL THE SWEAT DROPS DOWN MY BALLS!  AH SKEET SKEET MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, AH SKEET SKEET GOTDAMN!

16. LMAOOOOOOOOO. Honestly, I don’t know if them choosing Get Low as the song they’re supposed to see each other across the dance floor and look at each other longingly is brilliant or terrible.

17. Aww Henry wanted a NYE kiss. Sad face.

18. Henry, I just feel like you could do better than Alex?

19. WE GET IT YOU WERE WORKING CLASS

20. Well at least they’re not Malec when they kiss.

21. He’s reminiscent of a a young Al Pacino -- I’m actually thinking of Al Pacino in Scarface but they did darken his skin for Scarface, which is you know.

22. “He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football” this line is wasted on these two. Jesus, give it to people with chemistry.

23.

he deserves a better scene partner.

24. I can’t believe I’m not even an hour in.

25. Alex, do some work!

26. Oh, this banter is terrible. People are comparing this to Merthur?

27. Wait, but I want to know which other famous boys he’s shagged.

28. This is probably the most I’ve cared about them so far

29. And he's blinking rapidly to show he's nervous but it should be in the body language, Alex is kind of just standing there. It should be nervous and exciting and intimate and thrilling, it's just ... kind of happening. Like the dude who plays Henry, his back must be TIRED from carrying all of this.

30. Ah yes,

it's giving

but way less intimate.

31. OK. So. I was going to add a screenshot but I was afraid tumblr would block it if I did so when they're making love, Alex -- who I almost called whatshiface -- says "I can't believe how wrong I was about you" and here's my thing with dialogue during sex scenes and I feel really bad for comparing these two movies because no one deserves this but it reminds me of when anons were like please watch some clips of the um, what's that movie series based on Harry Styles fanfiction -- After -- WE ARE GOING TO PAUSE TO BRING ATTENTION TO THE PROCESS I WENT THROUGH TO GET THE NAME OF THESE FUCKING MOVIES:

I typed in movie based on harry styles fanfiction and then Google was like Anne Hathaway and I was like what no, there's another movie based on One Direction fanfiction?? HOW MANY ARE THERE? then I was like wasn't Jughead in the movie? but then I forgot his real name so I had to be like Riverdale cast and it was like Cole Sprouse and I was like RIGHT! then looked up his fucking filmography and it wasn't there and I was like I swear I saw a clip with him in it and then I was like RIGHT, he is a twin so then I Googled his brother's name then I got Dylan Sprouse and then I looked up HIS filmography and got the name of the movie JUST FOR THIS BRIEF MENTION IN THIS STUPID POST and I was like, but anons can't search the masterlist??????????

anyway there's that scene where they're having sex in her office or something and like in the middle of them having sex he's like "SAY I'M THE ONLY ONE" or something and it just made me laugh because his voice is unaltered, he just delivered the line like they were having a regular conversation and that's what happens here, Alex just says this line and it takes me out of the moment because I'm like you're not being breathy or moaning or something as you talk, you're just talking like normal? THEN DON'T SPEAK.

32. But what does Alex do? Is he in school? Is he ... what does he do? I know he wrote a memo that nobody read and will probably end up being a huge meaningful contribution down the line but he's talking about wishing he could help more and I'm like what's your job? Like you can still help people in whatever job you're doing, like are YOU going to hospitals and talking to dying children? Like what's happening here?

33. And he's going on and on about making his dad proud and being someone who can do something but you're the guy who got drunk at a wedding and made a 75,000 pound cake fall. I...

34. Ah he's a law student. Volunteer at a free law clinic then, jesus christ.

35. OK their together texts are infinitely worse. "I CAN'T HAVE SMUT FILLING MY INBOX".

36. I mean, Miguel is a journalist, Alex, I...

37. So I'm guessing Miguel will break the Alex/Henry story. Because duh.

38. HENRY IS TRYING SO HARD.

39. "Dad, what is this music? It's so not the vibe" I'm sorry but I find Alex insufferable.

40. Oh so Henry DOES read nonwhite authors, jfc.

41. Ohhhhhhh whatshisface, Alex, is having the IT ALL MAKES SENSE moment, which MUST happen when the love interest is singing, HENRY IS HIS FOREVER BOO. And then of course, princes can't be gay so even though Henry feels the same way, I'm sure he'll be all I TOLD YOU NOT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.

42. This movie seems like there'll be a rain kiss in it.

43. "Yeah, he's tougher than he looks." You guys were drinking tequila shots, doing karaoke and playing volleyball, not chopping wood for your only source of heat during winter in the Appalachians. Relax.

44. "You can understand my life a little more" which is cool but what about HIS life, Alex? I don't know I just find him extremely self-centered.

45. IT'S LIKE THERE'S A ROPE ATTACHED TO MY CHEST AND IT KEEPS PULLING ME TOWARDS YOU. Yes, I see the Jane Eyre reference.

46. Aww, he's in the pool with his hand over his heart. I needed a better couple for this.

47. And here we go with the downturn before the uptick.

48. He's trying so hard to be melancholy and this is what we get?

A furrowed brow?

49.

I mean are you? What is this, Stefan about Caroline? Please be serious.

50. Well, there's rain. But they're not kissing.

51. "I flew across an ocean" which would be more impressive if you weren't the president's son, Alex.

52.

You didn't actually storm the castle, though. Who are you now, Damon?

53. This should be way more frenzied than it is. He should be yelling, out of his mind, and Henry should be doing exactly what he's doing now.

54.

Well that's because he's amazingly self-centred.

55. ON. HIS. BACK.

56. Stephen Fry being in this is kind of perfect though. I just wish the movie was better.

57. OK well that's over.

[tricornonthecob]

So I'll make up for it now I guess

LK 115: Middle-Aged New York

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)

Ayyyyy enter the Himbo!

Man Sarah has a type doesn't she.

Thinks he's fuckin slick but he does this every time he spies a hot chick.

James you do understand this is The Guy She Told You Not To Worry About, right? Probably shouldn't be giving her more reasons to flirt with Udney.

What a slut. Also looks like you lost an eyebrow in that frame.

Her flirting style is the same sort of banter she has with James like 24/7. Honestly mad that this episode sort of seems like one of the writers trying to make them just-friends.

James: "yeah girl give it to him!"

"suckerrrr"

"wait no not like that"

lol they've been watching the battalion's finest himbo doing his finest work this entire time.

It seems like the writers, directors, animators, etc probably didn't intend it but I say he is seething with jealousy.

For someone who just now realized she's polyamorous, man do I love a spot of jealousy/envy in my ships. I am a simple woman with simple tastes.

Honestly though Udney is right up there with Yancey in names I'm happy we all decided were wonky.

What's he thinkin about so dreamily? Bread? The sea? Chaos?

...Girl are you packing that dress so you can look extra hot for the continental army? Calm down, Lydia Bennet.

I know you're mad she's being a ho for the continental himbos but you gotta quit being a dick about it, James, you're gonna push her right into Udney's lap arms.

oooooh u done fucked up, Now its revenge canoodling!

Because her mother would let her go, lets face it lol

Although this does harken back to a few episodes ago when her mom was like "Sarah dear can you please stay put in Philadelphia where I can keep tabs on you." So I guess Sarah read that and went "FUCK U, MOM." Some subtle teenage rebellion there.

Honestly I would have fought him for that and I'm a little surprised that isn't the route they went with here, also doesn't New York get torched after Kip's Bay, not sure the city's ultimately the safest spot.

Don't kid yourself, you can't stop Agent Henri from doing what Agent Henri wants.

Why, its a cute blonde dumbass in uniform! Her very weakness!

Damn she's really just out here to flirt with continental soldiers.

Goddamn I really wish they'd leant into raging hormonal S/J jealousy rn. Such a missed opportunity. I'd be chomping at the bit if I was in that writer's room. Who the fuck said calm down on the shippable content?

Which one of you was it??

Also is it just me or is Firefox employing an absolute shit-for-brains AI for its spellchecker? Because harken is absolutely a fucking word and it would have known that if it used an actual dictionary as a source. See this is why you need three dictionaries lying around the house, so you can yell at machine learning and prove a point!

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E5 (part 1)

Tan Lines

I love the Higgins family. They are a close nit family who love each other and have a healthy relationship. Do you know how wonderful that is to see? Especially for someone like me who comes from an unhealthy family dynamic.

Poor Ted, hitting your head on metal really hurts. But the best bit is one of the Higgins kids asking 'Is he dead?'

Ted deflecting his worries about his marriage with humour. He looks good in his blue jumper.

I do not like Ted and Michelle's therapist. I don't think I'm alone in saying that.

Ted and Rebecca use 'Oklahoma' on each other when they know the other is in pain. Michelle used it just to talk about all the things Ted did that annoyed her.

It does not surprise me that Ted knows what songs belong to which musical. He probably loves them as much as he loves rom-coms.

Keeley and Jamie broke up within the past 24 hours and he's already moving on. He does not know how to be alone.

The woman Jamie slept with is super chill about his ex having just walked in. She probably likes Keeley more than Jamie, by the sounds of it.

Ted catching the football Jamie kicked was very smooth. Sudeikis previously having been a basketball player helps.

Ted's thing about peanut butter is gross, but having lived with someone who absolutely loves peanut butter, I'm not weirded out by it. Seriously, my previous housemate would put peanut butter on anything if he could, he once put it on pizza. I watched him do it.

The way Ted lights up when he hears Henry's voice warm my heart. He does try to be the best dad he can, even in another country.

Jamie is an idiot while doing the promo shoot. But I am here for Rebecca checking in on Keeley after her break-up.

Yeah, men do give each other offers of employment for random reasons and in random places. It's normal for them to do it. So why can't Rebecca offer Keeley a job? Rebecca knows that Keeley understands PR and brands very well and is clearly good at it, plus she is very personable and business savvy. For Rebecca it makes good business sense to hire Keeley to make her players look good. She does have to keep up the pretense that she wants the club to succeed while she also destroys it.

'I'm sort of famous for being g almost famous.' Pretty much sums up influencers and models really.

[catboyantichrist]

hi! may i please request the brothers with an MC who's cat came with them to the Devildom?

the cat is very loud and very mischievous but also very sweet :)

bonus cat photos:

thank you so much!! have a wonderful day and good luck with the new blog!

BHJFLHRAUGARL YOUR CAT IS ADORABLE- they deserve the best out of this world. You have a good day too ^^ and thank you!

☆The Brothers Living With GN!MC's Cat☆

Let's paint the scene. You just got home after a long day, and you just wanted to forget everything that happened. You decided to spend time with your precious cat! Sadly the little shit decided to scratch you and all of the furniture around you.

"Can we just have one calm day?" You yelled out at your cat. The cat doesn't give a response and just decides to jump off of the fridge they resided on.

You caught your cat and was about to give them the lecture of a lifetime (as if they could listen) when suddenly you stumble back. You, and your cat both land on the floor of RAD.

It's been a few months. You and your cat both live in the House of Lamentation. Your cat has never been more well behaved. I guess cats do belong in Hell, cause (most) of the brothers adore them. This is some of the things you've caught the brothers doing with your cat.

Lucifer:

-"Is that... a cat? Why must Diavolo never warn me about these things."

-Lucifer is frustrated. I mean you can even see his eye twitching slightly if you look fast enough. He's been telling Satan for centuries that he isn't allowed to get a cat, and now there's one here. Another responsibility to look after.

-That frustrated with your cat lasts a total of 2 weeks, until he actually connects with the cat? He's like the Dad who never wanted a pet and then loves them the most.

-He keeps tons of cat toys in his office, and a special cat bed so that there's somewhere where they can hide if the brothers are fighting for their attention. Of course, MC is always welcome to do the same.

Mammon:

-"AHHHH SOMEBODY HELP! THE GREAT MAMMON IS GETTING ATTACKED!!"

-Mammon's not getting attacked, your cat is just playing with the feathered keychain on his belt.

-It takes Mammon a minute, but eventually he understands what the cat is doing.

-"Not on my watch! How dare ya play with my precious keychain!". Mammon gives in almost immediately once your cat scratches him.

-Your cat and Mammon have some sort of rivalry going on, as Mammon will continuously hide objects from your cat that they're trying to steal.

-Mammon will also try to take pictures of your cat asleep so that he can sell them. One time he found you sleeping with your cat, and immediately got jealous. I swear you could even see the cat make a face similar to a smirk

-"I'm their first ya hear?! You wont get away with this!"

-Make sure to treat Mammon and your cat equally, they'll eventually make a truce and get along

Leviathan:

-"Don't let that little normie anywhere NEAR my fish!"

-Yeah um... Levi isn't a huge fan of your cat. Mainly because they tried to eat Henry once and it traumatized the both of them.

-Although Levi and your cats relationship started to mend once he saw them annoy the crap out of Mammon. Of course he recorded it and uploaded it to DevilTube!

-When the video went viral, an idea stuck Levi, he helps Asmo run your cat's Devilgram, but Levi mainly uploads videos of your cat attacking Mammon.

-One time Lucifer made Levi come to school for a student council meeting and he took that as the opportunity to bring your cat to school to scare other demons.

-Levi isn't required to go to school for anything anymore.

Satan:

-It is taking all of Satan's power not to spontaneously combust at the sight out of your cat. First of all, it's a cat second, Lucifer will go INSANE at the sight of this. Or well, he will overtime.

-Definitely tries to spend the most time with your cat, mainly by hanging out with you. At first he was just using you for the cat but overtime he started enjoying your company more and more.

-Did... did Lucifer connect with the cat? Satan is devastated. You're probably going to have to spend a few days with Satan and cheer him up, preferably by dates to the library? 😏

-Well there's no problem anyways, after one of the dates you and Satan went on, your cat came rushing to Satan. Did this make him tear up a bit? Maybe, but he knew your cat loved him!

-Which of course they do, but I think they loved the food in Satan's pocket a bit more.

Asmodeus:

-Congratulations! Your cat is now the centerpiece of Asmo's new outfits. They're perfect for the aesthetic he's wanting to go for anyways.

-He will spend tons of time caring for your cat, and also buying them accessories! Sometimes... a bit much. You'll see your cat waddling around with a massive sweater on them sometimes.

-Asmo now brings a fur roller everywhere he goes. He finds your cat absolutely adorable! But the cat fur not so much. He will not hesitate to completely bar off his room if he has too. What if one of his future admirers come to his room and are allergic to cats!

-Asmo does enjoy cuddling with you and your cat of course! After all he would get to spend time with two adorable creatures!

Beelzebub:

-Beel no. Don't eat the cat!!

-It doesn't take long for Beel to catch on that the cat isn't food, and once he does he immediately gets attached to the small creature. He always makes sure that your cat is well fed.

-Although sometimes a bit too well fed, you know he means well but you're gonna have to teach him how much food is okay for a human world cat to eat.

-Playing with the cat is so much fun! If your cat wasn't active before, they are now. Beel's cheery attitude even puts your cat in a good mood! Although he did try to take your cat on a walk once... never again.

Belphegor:

-Two words. Cuddle buddy. Normally your cat is fine with cuddling, but sometimes Belphie's death grip is hard to handle. If your not careful you can hear your cats faint meows for mercy as Belphie is latched onto the cat for dear life.

-Obviously he's not hurting the cat, he tries to be as gentle as possible but unlike Belphie, the cat doesn't sleep 24/7.

-One night Belphie turned on his star projector in his room and noticed your cat bouncing around trying to scratch/eat the stars. He now likes to turn on the projector and move it around to let your cat play. Extra points because it requires minimal effort.

-If he finds you and your cat cuddling while asleep he will join you. The cat doesn't dare to even try and scratch him because even they know that Belphie gives no mercy.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Demeter

Have I been using this series to vicariously punish Belphie for the events of Season 1? I cannot confirm nor deny that statement.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter

Lucifer

Didn't think too much of the "human" when they popped out of the portal. Sure they had a straw hat and a huge basket full of produce but it wasn’t like they were… Wait… No… Were they…?

Oh no. Oh nonononono, this is not good…!!

Demeter is notoriously doting and protective of her children (see her freakout and breakdown after Hades abducted of Persephone as proof) and they've pretty much done the EXACT. SAME. THING. here!!

It was a mad scramble by him and Diavolo to contact and appease their godly Mother Bear before she came roaring down to Devildom herself to turn them all into barley. Thankfully, Zeus must have intervened at some point because though she was indeed PISSED, she didn't threaten to barge in… yet.

She made one thing very clear. Bend so much as a single hair on her precious child's head and there would be WAR…

The MC received a 24 hour security detail after that. Just Mammon wasn't going to cut it, he needed NO chances. It was a full rotation of Mammon, him and Beel for the entirety of their stay (Asmo and Levi both threw hissy fits at the prospect of babysitting, Satan couldn’t be trusted not to kill them just to irritate him, and Belphie was out for… obvious reasons).

In some ways, it wasn’t so bad. The MC was a very mild sort of person, rather even tempered. He’d dare say they were pleasant, mostly content to just tend to their gardens and be out in the moonlight…

But the problem was, he just could not convince them to stay OUT of nature. Including the forests, which were full of hellish beasts fully intent on gnawing their flesh from their bones… and their specialty was plants, not animals, sooo…

Their habit of sneaking out to wander the woods got so bad that he very nearly considered pulling a Belphie 2 and locking them in the basement for their own good. But Devil knows what damage their mother would do if she found out…

At least they make for pleasant company… And Diavolo seems to like them quite a bit himself so the mortal gets a pass from him. Now if they’d only consider their own safety for a change…

Mammon

They make him a KILLING.

Like, no seriously. Their produce is insane!! He’s never tasted food so good, especially stuff that’s come fresh from the ground! It only took a few berries for Mammon to throw on a straw hat himself and start harvesting! He’s a farmer now, baby!!

Weeellll not quite. He’s still absolutely only in it for the money, but anything he brings to a farmer’s market goes so fast that he can hardly care about the labor! He’s never made this much Grimm in his life!! And it’s totally legit for a change!

He bought himself another car, paid off half of his debt, and even got Levi back that 2 or 3 grand he leant him centuries ago. Really, Mammon’s living his best life and it’s all thanks to MC!

It’s a good thing his blatant grifting doesn’t hurt his relationship with them at all, in fact they seem to enjoy having his help regardless. They bring him drinks on hot days or invite him on picnics and stuff, it’s… it’s really sweet. They’re very nice to him and he appreciates it…

But… COULD YA JUST STAY PUT ALREADY???

It drives him INSANE that they won’t stay out of dangerous places!! After he started caring about them for more than just a meal ticket it only got even worse!!

He’s not usually one for monitoring someone’s every move (that kind of control freak behavior is more a Lucifer thing) but he eventually had to set up familiars around the House just to keep them from sneaking out at night...

What was so interesting out there anyway?? There wasn’t any kind of plant that he could bring them himself! They didn’t have any need to be out there!! 

They’d keep telling him they’d be fine but it’s not like he’s going to actually buy that. They were too… nice to be dangerous or anything so why would he believe them?

No more running off, MC! Please, he’s beggin’ ya!!

Leviathan 

Wait, gardening? Like, being outdoors and stuff? Ew. No thanks, he’ll pass.

That was more or less his first reaction when they showed up and it never really got much better than that…

He admits that they’re friendly and it’s not like he dislikes them or anything, but their thing so far from his thing that they just don’t have a lot in common… you know?

For starters, they get So. Antsy. when they’re inside for too long! He tried to invite them to a marathon once, but they could hardly keep still and kept looking around like they were searching for a window… He said, “to jump out of.” They insisted just for some fresh air, but he didn’t buy it...

They’re nice enough to listen to his rants, but they’re barely ever inside for him to do so and like HELL is he going to leave his room and stand around out there for that long. Ranting is at least a one to two hour engagement! What if he gets hot out there? And have you SEEN Devildom bees?? Hell no!!

He has, however, asked them on multiple occasions to reproduce flowers he’s seen in different anime, especially ones that have a very unique look and they’ve done some real wonders with that!

He can now claim to be the only person to ever own a Ruby-Jade Vine plant, straight from the pages of TSL when it was used to brew tea for the Lord of Lechery during his brief illness and-is anyone even still listening anymore?

The point is, it’s a flower so rare it was imaginary but now HE has it!... or had it for about a week until his utter incompetence of all things plant killed it…

He begged the MC for another but they were out of the plants they needed to make it and would have to go back to the human world to find more… He’s still mourning his loss… Poor Henry 4.0…

Satan

Well… He’s called this MC “salt of the Earth” and he does truly mean it. Take of that what you will.

He doesn’t get much in the way of intellectual conversation out of this mortal UNLESS he’s talking about plants, farming, or botany… Interesting topics and complex in their own right to be sure, but that’s pretty much their wheelhouse and they like it there.

That being said, the feats that they can perform are genuinely mind-blowing! They are the ONLY person he has ever met who can cultivate the Devildom’s own ultra-rare Phantom Orchid, a plant only blooms when it reaches a perfect state of undeath (i.e. both taken care of and neglected just enough so that it's only barely alive. The balance is so tricky to master that one hasn’t bloomed down there for centuries!)

There’s also something just genuinely relaxing about watching them work or helping them in the gardens… More so than he’d ever expected from such a simple activity.

He admits that he’s taken quite a few strolls through the flower-filled courtyard of the Demon Lord’s Castle just to admire its beauty... But anything that they can grow just blows all of that out of the water!

They even taught him several magic botanical techniques so now he can grow some pretty mad plants himself. Lucifer never expected to find that giant Venus Flytrap in his closet, but one was there regardless. 😏

Just… out of curiosity one day, he asked the MC if they could make him a new kind of catnip. Not for any nefarious reason! You know… just for research purposes…

The nip they made was so effective that the House grounds were FILLED with nipped-up cats for a whole month! He was in Heaven!! (and Lucifer practically wiped those plants from existence so he couldn’t get any more… asshole...)

That must have inspired them because they apparently made a demons-only version that they told him about WELL after the fact. Had he known, he probably would have burned the stuff on principle... Do you know how dangerous demon-nip could be to them? Experiment responsibly, MC!

Asmodeus 

Ehhhh, gardening SOUNDS like one of those things that should be super Devilgram-able, but then you realize how sweaty and dirty you get in the process and it’s a huge turn off… Sorry MC.

When they first came down to the Devildom, he thought two things: 1) Such a sweet little flower child, as adorable as they were, would never survive; and 2) even if they could, he would never ever see eye-to-eye with them on the “wonders” of getting all up in the dirt.

Well, he was right about 2, but certainly not 1. Personally, he thinks his brothers worry about them too much, they ARE still a demigod.

At one point he saw a pack of hellhounds almost trample one of their vegetable gardens and they lost it. Word to the wise, never try to take on a child of Demeter in their own garden. Those hounds were wrapped up in rose vines before they could even yelp...

Yeah, the MC would be fine.

That being said, while everybody else clamors over their produce, he thinks that their flowers are really where it’s at!

Taking just five minutes in one of their gardens is something else... He’s never seen blossoms as healthy and immaculate in all the Devildom before! Their beauty could (almost) rivals his own! What they do isn’t just a hobby, it’s an art.

He’s taken multiple pictures with their blossoms and they go viral every time. It’s so rare to actually see gorgeous, petal-filled flowers in the Devildom, most of the native plants are of the man-eating variety.

His only complaint about this MC is that they seem to feel much more at home in work clothes and dirt than they do in any sort of party-look he tries to give them… Cute as they are, they can afford to gussy up sometimes can’t they? Mud and grass stains don’t make for a good look, sorry.

Beelzebub 

Beel gardens and the MC gardens as well. Add on that they seem to be able to grow all manner of fruits and veggies and he likes this one. A lot.

They had just finished apple-picking when the portal nabbed them so they had a massive basket of apples at the time. Naturally, Beel more or less stole the thing on sight, but the apples inside were so juicy and good that he almost shook them down for more on the spot!

Imagine his surprise when they, half pleadingly, explained to him that if he got them some seeds they could just grow more… and it wouldn’t even take that long.

To be clear, the formula he saw was this: Get seeds > bring seeds to mortal > mortal grows seeds > mortal makes endless supply of food….

Congratulations MC, you’ve now earned the sixthborn’s eternal loyalty after a grand total of… two minutes. He didn’t even know their name, but he was willing to take a bullet for them (provided he got more of those apples).

The next several months were spent with Beel attached to them to the hip in some way, but honestly? It was just so wholesome anyway…

If he’s helping in the garden, he never complains. He does most of the heavy lifting and actually likes being out there with them (unlike others...)

Many afternoons were spent sitting under fruit trees and talking. Sometimes, they go to the trouble of preparing a picnic or something but it would always inevitably end with Beel plucking the whole tree clean of whatever ripe (or unripe) fruit he can get his hands on with a smile. 

The MC never minded though. That’s just another excuse to grow more, right?

His only problem was when the MC would sneak out to the forest… especially when they get too antsy and just go alone. 

He HATES it when they do that! How is he supposed to keep them safe if they just wander off?? He knows that they have a special connection to nature and all, but it isn’t safe…

He’s flown in and scooped them back up to the House on numerous occasions and his “talking tos” get sterner after every rescue... Please stay put, MC! He’d have so many reasons to be sad if you were eaten… 😔

Belphegor 

Okay, he was looking for a capable, if not gullible, human. Not a shoeless flower hippy!

He honestly wasn't expecting much out of this one... Damn their little heart because they did genuinely believed his lies, it’s just that they weren't… well… They were really good at gardening.

… And it grew kind of hard to keep hating them whenever they'd show up just to give him fresh berries or a bouquet to see him smile… He may claim that his heart is made of nightmares and orphan tears, but who doesn’t enjoy being given a batch of flowers? 

Damn their sweetness too… Right to here.

When it came time to kill them he had a heavier heart than he thought he would, but kind of saw it like putting down the sacrificial lamb. Gotta be done to reach better goals... Stiff upper lip and all that.

Unfortunately for him, they had taken to carrying packets of demon-nip with them as a self-defense measure…

He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected when they shouted “Get nipped!” at him mid-attack, but it wasn’t a face full of some smelly herb! Like, really smelly…! Actually, that smelt kind of good… Hold on.

Turns out murderous rage really doesn’t last long after you get what is effectively ultra-strong catnip thrown in your face. They ended up having to go and tell Lucifer what happened themselves because Belphie was way too blissed out on the floor to do anything... They were legitimately worried they might have fried his brain...

He’s told the effects of the demon-nip lasted three days. He doesn’t know, because he hardly remembers any of it... They described him as like he was high on “weed” and “ecstasy” at the same time but he doesn’t know what either of those are either so it wasn’t helpful…

Truthfully, they were so nice to him while he was recovering that he couldn’t even be mad afterwards so all's well that ends well? Either way, he’s sleeping under their orchard trees from now on. It’s peaceful out there...

They burnt all that nip though. It’s some strong stuff...

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

nEW SESSION (summary here!), where there’s been an unexpected development to the music issue and its time to [checks my notes] taLK TO THE PROPHET AND BREAK INTO SUSIE’S APARTMENT??? Also, the Prophet and Joey have made.... a truce(???), Prophet is concerned Sammy isn’t going to stay on task now that music is returning and has left him a sort of alarming note, and Jack is uh, trying to hold, too many things, maybe some things he shouldn’t be holding, Jack please put those things back,

anyway heres a stack of out-of-context quotes from our session under the readmore:

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] My favourite thing is, there are so many reasons that Henry could've avoided things that I have no idea WHY Henry isn't affected. [Jack] Like, is he not affected because his art isn't a performance? Is he not affected because he warded his house? Is he not affected because he'S FILLED WITH GLOWING BLOOD?!?

[Jack] He got as far as feeding his cat, and I feel like feeding cat isn't a performance-- [Sammy] Not usually, not unless you sing a song to your cat, which-- [Jack] Awww! [Sammy] -- which, now that I've said that, sounds like something Jack would do actually,

[Sammy] Ohhhh, that's right, Joey just heard some people play some bad notes and start panicking, and then he stood up and passed out, [Jack] Which is probably how Sammy feels every time he hears people mess up music!

[GM] He finds news on the radio, but they’re not talking about that right now. [Joey] What are they talking about? [GM] Something mundane; business or sports or something. [Jack] The, the sportsball team, got a…..uh….. a, a point. Congratulations, sportsball,

[Joey] If the sportscasters sound normal, then Joey is instantly VERY ANGRY.

[Henry] Henry’s not very musically inclined, but he knows some songs, [Sammy] Like, can you hum Twinkle Twinkle Little Star -- [Jack] “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

[Jack] Jack has made a vague list of the kinds of people who seem to be affected. [Jack] There’s also “NOT HENRY?????” with a bunch of question marks in this list.

[GM] He’s told that Peter is out of town for a week. [Jack] Hmm. [Sammy] PETER WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [Jack] Hmmmmmm. [Sammy] Jack, is Peter coming here, to check on you, [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMMMMM,

[Sammy] *exasperated* NPCs Stop Getting Involved In The Occult Challenge [Henry] Stop Getting Involved In The Occult Or Draw 25

[Joey] Peter had never seen a Bendy cartoon, and this needed to be fixed. [Joey] The premier is this weekend, and he sent tickets to Pete to correct this, error, in his ways. [Jack] ...I think it is very slowly dawning on Jack, that this means that Pete has been pulled directly into yet another… supernatural nonsense... [Sammy] WE DIDNT DO THIS ONE!!

[Sammy] I CAN’T BELIEVE PHONES ARE THE ANTAGONIST OF THIS ADVENTURE

[Henry] Oh wait--! oh, no, nevermind, I forgot he and Allison probably aren’t together yet. [Sammy] Yeah, I think they just met; they had a meet-cute where they found out they both like Frankenstein and that’s it. [Jack] They actually got married today, since nothing else was happening at the Studio, [Sammy] That’s why Allison hasn’t shown up, she was busy getting married!

[GM] Bendy might’ve been keeping tabs on Henry, but it depends I guess on how distressed Joey is seeming. [Joey] Joey is probably just going to bury his sorrow in studying magic. [GM] Okay! That’s fine and normal Joey behaviour!

[Sammy] Sammy will note that nothing got done in the music department, because he has good priorities.

[Jack] I like the idea that it’s just like, when the teacher isn’t in, and nobody does the work the substitute teacher gave you, [Jack] Everyone’s just playing pokemon in the back, [GM] I thought you were going to say “poker,” but I like the way you ended the sentence better.

[Jack] HMMMMMM. I wonder if we know, any suspicious women, who were around on that specific day, who are known to have, skill and interest in magical things,  [Joey] And also were aware of the cutouts, [Sammy] *cheerfully* Yeah, weird! Anyway!!!!

[Jack] Sammy was acting weird about Allison. Far too agreeable for a Sammy!

[Sammy] *talking about Prophet* If you want to lock him in somewhere, or restrain him, I’ll cooperate. [Jack] Just handcuff him to Jack! [Sammy] SAMMY IS UNEASY WITH THAT PLAN, [Jack] *laughing* What could go wrong! It’s not like Jack is significantly less strong or anything!!

[Jack] Not everyone makes up their entire self, Joey!!! (Affectionate)!!

[Sammy] I give my word, my sheep! [Henry] How good is your word? [Sammy] I mean. It’s pretty good.

[Henry] Henry’s trying to decide if it would be rude to doodle during this very serious conversation. [Jack] I mean, Jack is taking notes, so I feel like-- [Joey] --you can get away with fake note-ing. [GM] No one will know! [GM] Well, Bendy will know, because he’s up high. [GM] Ceiling Bendy

[Sammy] He’s not gonna give you a grade afterwards, like, this isn’t a lecture, [Jack] Time for Prophet Pop Quiz!

[GM] What’s Prophet writing? [Sammy] Um, I gotta think about this... [Jack] “Dear Frightened Shepherd, that Allison person sure is nice, isn’t she?” [GM] “What’s up with everyone ragging on her?” [Joey] “I think I have finally found a way to bridge the gap between us!” [Jack] “I think you need to replace your sheep, they seem kind of suspicious for no reason,” [Jack] “To Do List: Get Better Sheep”

[Sammy] Does this feel like something that’s trying to take his focus, like, very compelling creative ideas? [GM] Yes. [Sammy] ...Prophet will write “don’t get distracted” five more times.

[GM] His mind is abuzz with thoughts of dancing and actoring, [GM] Ideas to be the best Joey ever! [Jack] Oh no.

[Joey] He will wave at the cutout and make a “come here” motion. [Joey] Though also, he’s looking at the cutout like, I’m not quite sure how this works, but I’m going to trust you that it works! So I’m going to do this and see if Bendy shows up! [Jack] Like someone trying to learn how to do phone video calls for the first time, [Joey] YES. Joey’s actually like really close to the cutout, and the motions -- you can make them out, but it’s really awkward,

[Sammy] They’re in no danger. I will take care of the Shepherd’s sheep. [Jack] ...JACK’S BEEN DOWNGRADED!! He’s no longer PROPHET’S sheep!

[Joey] I like how everything Prophet says really just feels like, Knife Cat face.

[GM] You could probably make a Mythos roll to figure it out. [Joey] *rolls* Oh! Extreme success! [GM] Joey’s back!

[GM] Bendy will lead Joey back to the room, where hopefully there are three alive, non-fighting boys!

[Jack] Part of me was like, “What if Jack DOES turn into a cat…?! It’d be pretty hard to write things!” [GM] *laughs* We’ll keep that in our back pocket, in case Jack ever fails a Mythos check. [Jack] Meowthos check…

[Henry] I’m going to have Henry look, look with his Special Eyes.

[Sammy] *failing a roll* Prophet is just, NOT on the ball today, in any way shape or form. [GM] Really hard not to think about music. : ) [Sammy] Ohhhhhh boy, [Jack] Prophet just writes a note to Sammy that says “HOW do you LIVE like this???”

[Henry] Henry’s gonna try to scribble what he remembers of the symbol!  [Sammy] Didn’t we learn, from the last scenario, about reproducing weird symbols, [Henry] No.

[Joey] Did Joey get burnt? [GM] Make a dexterity roll! : ) [Henry] *mumbling* Y’all this entire building is made of wood. *Joey fails* [GM] 1 point of damage, you singe your hand -- on the plus side, you kind of were holding it as it burned up, so it doesn’t fall on the wooden floor. [Sammy] OH GOOD, we’re not LOCKED IN A CLOSET that’s about to burn down? GREAT!

[Joey] We could head over to the infirmary -- [Jack] Jack is already pulling the burn ointment out of his bag. [Jack] He’s prepared this time! [Jack] He’s been practicing, he knows what you’re all like,

[Joey] Joey will give him a smile that’s most recognisable as the “I know you will do good!” smile. [Sammy] Prophet will also smile! It is not a friendly smile. [Jack] It’s a “smile” in quotation marks, but it’s like, baring your teeth as an act of aggression. 

[Jack] Jack lets him go to do the call, but just before he picks up the phone, he says, “Don’t call him Petey.”

[GM] The phone rings, and is not answered. [Joey] Okay! Joey hangs up, says Peter checked into his room, but is not answering. Most likely asleep. [Jack] Half of my brain is going, “what if he’s just stood outside Jack’s house?” The other half of my brain is concerned about manias. I hope he’s not decided that now is a really great time to do more writing, and now he can’t stop, and this could go wrong-- [Jack] This is what Jack’s mind is doing, thinking of all the terrible possibilities. [Joey] While humming. [Jack] ...yes. He’s writing some very troubling lyrics.

[Sammy] *talking about Jack’s compulsive humming* Like Cornifer, [Jack] *starts humming Cornifer’s theme* Dangit, now it’s in my head, why would you do this to me? [Sammy] It’s in character! [Sammy] Method acting. : )

[Joey] Joey’s going to grab supplies to make sure Bendy can… hang around with them! [Joey] Sleepover supplies! Let’s grab your sleepover bag! :D

[Sammy] I don’t know why the idea of a wild Bendy running around across the rooftops is so cute to me… [GM] Probably on all fours, [Jack] Scampering,

[Jack] It’s a good thing Henry’s around because I don’t think Jack can… carry??? An entire Sammy??? [Jack] Like he’s good at holding but he’s not strong at holding.

[Joey] We’ve all been acting terrible for the last 24 hours… [Joey] WAIT. We’ve all been acting terrible for the last 24 hours!!!

[GM] Bendy hides under a blanket or something. [Jack] Comfey… [GM] Cozy boy, [Joey] Bendyrito. [Sammy] BENDYRITO,…….. [GM] Rolled up… snug...

[GM] Is everybody coming into the apartment, or just the two? [Jack] Hmmm….. Jack isn’t fond of either of these options. Going in is suspicious and weird; staying outside makes it look even more like they’re breaking in, to steal things, as opposed to, y’know, breaking in, for,,, “good” reasons(???) [Sammy] We’re not breaking in, we’re just walking into this apartment! What’s so weird about that?! [Jack] That’s breaking in. That’s what breaking in is, Sammy. [Sammy] They don’t have to know that we don’t belong here, maybe Susie gave us a key! [Jack] ...they heard us knocking. [Sammy] [Sammy] We’re BEING POLITE!! SHUT UP!!

[Henry] Jack, did you pick up kleptomania.. [Joey] I thought Jack picked up Being Prepared! [Jack] H-he’s just hoarding a little bit!! It’s fine!!! It’s very, useful, see, already Joey got injured!! It was useful to bring lots of things with him okay!!!!!!!!!

[GM] They do not have the police called on them, so that’s nice. [Sammy] Oh good! [Jack] Thank GOODNESS. [Henry] Love when that happens! [GM] If you guys got arrested, the Lurker’s just out in the car all night, [Henry] oh NO, [Jack] Worse punishment than jail… [Joey] Lurker learns how to drive for fun. [GM] *laughs* Gets curious, [Joey] “I said I wouldn’t leave the car, but--”

[Joey] WAIT. There’s a very important factor that we just decided but didn’t say. [GM] Oh? [Joey] If we have Henry heading home, and everyone else sleep over at Jack’s…. [Joey] ...the Lurker finally gets to meet a cat. *everyone gasps* [Jack] Oh that’s SO important

[Henry] And Henry will probably look at these, while in the car, to make sure they don’t have any gold writing on them-- [Sammy] Isn’t Henry driving??? [Henry] ……Henry is not going to look at them in the car,

[Sammy] We’re all going to bed, Sammy, you don’t need a banjo to sleep! [Joey] You might sleep worse if you have a banjo, actually. You might not stop.

[Sammy] Jack you wanna join us? We’re gonna just jam all night! [Jack] It really is Jammy… [Sammy] *laughs* TRUE Jammy!! Real Jammy Hours… [GM] That makes it a pyJAMa party… a real jammy jam…

[diavolosthots]

Could you make a fic about Simeon with his (female) mc having serious period cramps and Simeon taking care of her? Lots of fluff

***REQUESTS ARE NOT OPEN THIS IS FROM LAST TIME***

This got really long so it'll continue under the cut also for reasons these are not fics, but headcanons

Warning: mentions of period

LUCIFER, MAMMON, LEVIATHAN, BEELZEBUB, BARBATOS and SIMEON with an MC experiencing period cramps 

Lucifer:

In all honesty, he refuses to believe that it’s actually that bad for the longest time. People (and by people he means his brothers) fake their pain all the time to get out of doing things, so why would you be any different?

Sees you rolling around the bed, holding your stomach and groaning in pain, tears streaming down your eyes and some sick sadistic part of him actually genuinely enjoys it, but you don’t know that. 

Sighs and pulls you into his lap; daddy’s going to take care of you. In all seriousness though, he’ll straight up ask, “what’s wrong?” “My period… the cramps are so bad…��� 

Rubs over your abdomen with his hands and tries to think of a spell to ease your pain because if he can get rid of it with magic, he doesn’t have to deal with this for much longer 

Does find a spell!

But also keeps you in his lap regardless because he kind of likes the idea of you being somewhat helpless and reliant on him so his arms are staying tightly around your waist and he does his paperwork with one hand

Orders take out for you but don’t even think this is going to be a monthly thing

semi-annually lol

Kiss to your head and a little bit of more rubbing while you eat your food, that’s the most you’ll get out of him

Mammon:

Doesn’t think you’re faking it, per se, he’s actually genuinely concerned to see you whining and clutching yourself but he’s …. Kind of dumb when it comes to it. Hear me out:

“The hell’s wrong with ya?” “my period…” “just put a comma instead.” What did he saaAAAYYYY!!!???? 

Please uhm… bear with him. If he is too dumb and your hormones are telling you to swing, please also do that because he deserves it lololol 

You need to explain in GREAT detail what the fuck is going on with you and then he may help you out. 

Brings heating pads, some alcohol because he heard alcohol numbs pain (sad boy hours are 24/7), some chocolate and maybe some cuddles. 

Do not expect him to NOT complain though and he’s DEFINITELY expecting compensation, but not in the form of money. No. He wants an apology for you (probably) yelling at him earlier and maybe some kisses so purse your lips up MC and give him some kith kith please 

A+ cuddles though. He’s a great body pillow 

Leviathan:

Oh no

Oh no no no no no

He can SMELL the blood before it even leaves your coochie, no cap, and he’s preparing for the worst. 

Hides all his precious figurines just in case your hormones act up so bad that you go violent. He can’t have anything happen to his collection.

Smart boy though like he’s right by your side and like, “I saw this in an anime once and I don’t know if it’s correct but I got a heated blanket, some ice cream, pain killers, tissues because you look like you’re crying, some sad anime we can watch because in that anime that I watched, the girl liked to watch sad movies and oh! I got you this plush of henry” 

Kinda hopes you’ll be chill after that and either game with him or let him game but as fate will have it, that doesn’t work

“Levi I want to cuddle with you…”

“Of course, sweety…” He’s looking longingly at his computer but still climbs into the bathtub with you, sweating with the heated blanket but as long as you’re happy right?

“Levi wrap your tail around me too, your arms aren’t enough…”

And he does that too, tightly, around yours and his waist so you’re pressed together.

Blushing the whole time because wow you’re close and you actually want to be with him right now and what even is he supposed to do?! He’s just trying to do everything right, okay, like he’s so scared of messing up on ANY day, but especially on your period. 

Beelzebub:

Comes home from the gym with like 16 take out bags full of 5 boxes each because he’s thoroughly starved 

Hears crying and immediately slams the bedroom door open thinking he may or may not have to murder someone for hurting you because ??? You’re his baby and he’s not going to have you crying. 

“What’s wrong MC ? Are you hurt?” You’d nod and he’d rush to your side, bringing you into his arms but your groaning and maybe even crying won’t stop, “talk to me.” “It’s my cramps… they’re so bad..”

Kind of confused not gonna lie so he just asks what he can do to make it better while rubbing his hands over your back soothingly. 

Once he knows, he gently lays you on the bed and runs out, only to come back with Belphie’s pillow (which OBVIOUSLY has a heating function, just pull on the tail of it), pain killers, all 16 bags of take out, and himself of course. 

Wraps you up in his jacket before pulling you into him and turning Belphie’s pillow into a heating pad, putting it on your stomach. Hands you pain killers and a box of take out (your choice, obviously), and then continues to hold you while he himself eats, too. 

Honestly 10/10 just ask him and he’ll get it 

Takes your mood swings like a fucking pro too like come at him MC, he’s just going to nod along and take you back into his arms anyway 

Barbatos:

The literal BEST at this 

Has everything prepared before you can even cry out from those damn cramps 

Yay for time travel and allowing him to see the future 

Comes with herbal tea, infused with magic that will get rid of your cramps, some cookies, your favorite movie, and a fluffy blanket. 

Definitely took the day off, Diavolo will understand (he won’t, but Barbatos will deal with that later) 

Most certainly caters to YOUR every need for once, just speak the words. Want more cookies? Okay. Another movie? Got it. A back massage? Perfect. For him to finger you until you reach an orgasm? Don’t mind if he does. 

Super chill, super easy going, the literal best. 

Simeon:

He has like minimal knowledge when it comes to the female human body so please bear with him here 

Hears you scream out in pain, thinks the literal worst. Rushes to your side and kneels in front of you, holding your hand until you tell him what is wrong 

Doesn’t know if he’s doing anything right but he brings tea, pain killers, and a hot towel to wrap around your stomach 

If that’s not it, PLEASE tell him and he’ll get whatever else you need immediately. 

Luke probably hears about it and bakes you some food so Simeon will definitely get those to you as well

Leans up against the headboard of your bed and pulls you in between his legs, holding you tightly and just talking to you, or maybe he’s reading some TSL to you, depends on what you want. 

He’s also a really good singer so you could definitely ask for that! 

If you just want some peace, he’s more than happy to hold you while doing his own thing on the side

He honestly just needs communication, please talk to him MC. He can’t read your mind, after all, as much as he likes to pretend that he can. Thank you.  

[yourmidnightlover]

rock

Summary - spencer wants to figure out what's wrong with you, only to be reminded what day it is and he remembers why you've been so distant.

TW: talk abt: rape, recovery, therapy, case stuff; mention of: drug addiction, rape, miscarriage, being shot, death lol

WC - 4,283

!DISCLAIMER! - i am in no way trying to romanticize recovery from a traumatic event or being upset/depressed/anxious. this is kinda my way of getting through my own issues, so please don't think that's what i'm trying to do in any way. i also don’t know how i feel abt this ending since i wrote it so long ago but oh well!

i just realized there are a few spoilers so i'll put *asterisks* around them. those parts are just explaining how the reader's always there for the team.

----------------------------------

you had always been the rock in spencer's life.

mentally, at least.

when he had nobody there for him when he was going through his addiction with dilaudid, there you were. you helped him through it when everybody else on the team acted as if they never noticed.

you were the one that encouraged him to get help, and pushed him to follow through. you made sure he ate and talked to someone when he had his urges again, even if it wasn't you.

you let him come over and cry about what had happened, and how unfair his life was. you consoled him and would tell him how nothing was his fault. how he didn't deserve anything bad in his life.

*and when emily 'died', he went to your house every day. you held him as he felt himself falling apart from losing her. you didn't even worry about yourself needing to be consoled, because spencer needed you to be there for him.

*when she came back you were the one to convince him to forgive her. you talked sense into him. you reminded him how much he pleaded to have her back, and then he did. so he managed to forgive her... because of you and your logic.

*and you weren't just there for spencer. while, yes, you made a special effort to be there for him, you were there for everyone on the team.

*when derek was arrested back in chicago and the team found out about his past, you were the one he leaned on for comfort. you and penelope. you let him cry on your shoulder and yell at you about how twisted a man would have to be to do something so cruel to a child.

*when jj was kidnapped and beaten to a miscarriage, you were the first she told. you didn't say anything. you knew there was nothing you could say that would relinquish the pain of losing a child. so you let her cry. you let her hug you for what felt like hours. you let her grief her unborn baby for as long as she needed.

*when penelope was shot, nobody cared to check up on her after the fact except you. you went to her apartment for weeks just to make sure she was okay. eventually, she was able to let loose all of her frustrations on you, and you took it like a champ. she ranted about how she just wanted to be loved by someone attractive and how unfair and cruel the world is, in spite of how much good she tries to bring into it.

*when hotch lost hailey, you took care of his files. you offered to watch henry and let hotch cry to you about losing her a few times once you broke past his tough exterior. you even cried with him and jack. you made them dinner whenever you could, and helped him look for good nannies to help care for jack.

*when rossi lost carolyn, you went to her grave with him on many occasions. you brought him his favorite scotch, which was very pricey, and his favorite cigars, also very pricey, and tried your best to recreate 'the rossi special' upon his directions. it helped him feel in control of something when he needed it.

*and when emily came back from the dead, you helped walk her through her own grief. she lost herself, and buried her emotions. you helped her dig up her old self, and grow into an even better woman. you even took care of her cat when penelope couldn't manage. you helped emily grieve her own death when she wanted to deny it ever happened, and she was forever grateful for you.*

you had become like the team's built-in therapist when something bad happened, and you loved it that way. you loved being the one the team went to when they needed it. it made you feel as though you had a purpose, which was something you desperately needed.

but when you went through your own trauma almost a year ago, you refused help from anyone. you knew you should've asked someone for help, or at least someone to cry or talk to when you needed to.

the team had been working on a case for longer than expected, 8 days now, and everyone was really frustrated. you had released the profile 7 days ago, and there was still no new information. it was as if the unsub had gone dormant, and you all couldn't bear that thought.

when the team released earlier than normal from the precinct and you all went to the hotel you had been staying at, you decided to get a drink from the bar quickly. you went alone, wanting to review a few of the case files during the process and not needing a distraction.

you ordered a jack and coke, and opened the case files to begin rereading them, seeing if you had missed anything.

victims were kept for 24 hours, filmed, raped, restrained, cut in pieces, and thrown in the trash like garbage. it was absolutely disgusting, and the worst you had seen in a while. the victims were low-risk and most of them had a place of authority.

the unsub had been profiled to be someone who was bossed around by a woman, narcissistic and egotistical, wanted to feel more power and authority.

the problem is, that profile was most people living in the area. even penelope couldn't dwindle down the suspects.

and alas, you had missed nothing. nothing new appeared or caught your eye. you gulped down the rest of your drink and paid for it before packing up your things to head upstairs. you tossed the file back into your bag and began the trek to the elevator.

you were interrupted by something hitting the top of your head, rendering you unconscious.

the team had woken up, and after waiting around for half an hour, spencer realized something was wrong. he had morgan bust into your room, only to find the bed unslept in. you were missing. and the worst part... you fit the unsubs type.

spencer felt his heart drop at the realization he had taken you. and it seemed as though there was no trail as to where you had gone. penelope checked the cameras, only to find that they were hacked right after you left the bar, and then they resumed after you were taken.

at least they had a time frame.

later that day, after everyone hasting to figure something, anything out, spencer had gotten an email. he opened it and expected it to be relentless spam, only to realize it was a live feed video. a video of you. he instantly called penelope in hopes that she could trace it.

she said she could, but it would take some time because the amount of routers it had been going through.

while they were waiting, you noticed you were alone. you knew who the unsub was too, thanks to his baffling stupidity and narcissism that lead him to believe he wouldn't get caught.

"officer johnson! it's officer johnson!" you looked around the camera for a second, noticing something moving. "he-he here," you cried out. "i love you," you said to the camera to nobody in particular, but someone in mind.

you were terrified. spencer could see it in your eyes. he could see the tears you tried not to shed. you didn't want to please him, but you couldn't help but feel the absolute horror and fear coursing through your body at a relentless pace.

"hi there, missus fbi," he teased, finally walking into the frame with a ski mask over his face, clearly not aware that we knew his identity.

spencer told garcia who he was, and she began her digging. officer johnson's great grandparents had owned a farm that was since then refurbished. it was an hour away.

officer johnson had known that you two had chemistry. that's why he sent the email to spencer. he saw the longing glares, the 'innocent' touches, the smiles you would give each other, the longing looks you shared. he wanted to torment him.

so when he began undressing you and you turned your face away from the camera in hopes of sparing some of your own dignity, spencer felt his heart breaking for you. it broke even more when he heard the yelps, and screams, and please, and "no!'s" you elicited during the act.

they caught him before he cut you, but not before he finished the first part of his plan. your skirt was ripped, and your shirt was practically in two pieces. spencer had given you his jacket to cover yourself as much as you could.

you stayed silent the ride back. you didn't even let spencer hold you like you normally would after a tough case. you were ashamed. embarrassed. you felt worthless. you felt pathetic. you felt stupid. you felt helpless. you felt like you were drowning. you felt like you were without a life raft.

you knew you could talk to the team about it, but you felt so disgusted by the thought of what happened to you that you only talked about it in your therapy sessions.

hotch had given you two months off. he wanted you to grieve, and go to therapy, and try to cope with everything that had happened.

and you did try to do that. you tried your hardest to get over it and move past it, but nothing helped. not the journaling. not the talking. not the crying. nothing was working.

spencer gave you a little space at first, but he then decided to try to help you as you had helped him. he went over to your house almost every day, and sat outside your door after you wouldn't let him in.

you knew he was there... you sat on the other side.

"i-i know that you probably don't want to see anyone right now. and i'm uh, i'm sure you feel alone right now, or like you can't talk to anyone," spencer sniffled. "but pl-please just uhm, just know that i'm here when you want to talk about it. i'm here to listen to you when you need me to. i-i don't want you to be alone during this time, y/n. please, just let me in," he begged.

that was normally what he would say almost every night he went to your house. he would sit outside for hours after he would ask you to let him in without fail. until one day you let him in.

spencer felt so much relief when you opened the door, only for it to be smashed when he noticed your eyes looked red and puffy, your cheeks were stained with the tears you had been crying for so long. your cheeks were sunken in, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes that were once full of life and happiness. your eyes no longer had that gorgeous sparkle in them.

spencer vowed he would get them back.

as much as spencer wanted to wrap his arms around you in that moment, to comfort you and tell you that he was there, he wanted you to make the first move. he wanted to tell you how strong you were and how proud of you he was for getting through that. he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

he wanted you to make the first touch, because he didn't want to further upset you. he didn't want to trigger a repressed memory, or bring back the feelings of what had happened.

but spencer's touch was nothing like the officer's. spencer's touch was soft and gentle. spencer's touch was feather-light and endearing. spencer's touch was love and home. the officer's was brittle, and rough, and repulsive.

"hug me?" you sniffled as your eyes welled with tears again as they had been for the past three weeks.

"of course," spencer slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders as yours found his torso.

he walked inside with you still in his arms and slowly shut the door. without breaking from the hug, you both walked to the couch and sat down.

you didn't say anything. you just needed spencer to keep hugging you, so he did. he did whatever you wanted, needed, from him. eventually, you fell asleep in his embrace on the couch.

when spencer looked down at you, now sleeping against his chest, he couldn't bring his heart to remove himself from you. so like any whipped man would do, he carefully picked you up bridal styled and carried you to your room. he took his shoes off as well as his sweater vest before cuddling back up next to you.

as if it was a reflex, you cuddled up into his chest when he neared you again and got underneath the covers. spencer slept the best he did in months with you. and you slept without officer johnson in your dreams for the first time since that day.

ever since then, spencer had been making sure you were eating and drinking. he took you to your therapy sessions and stayed over most nights you had asked and he was able to.

they had a few cases during the two months, so every moment he could, spencer was with you. he coaxed you back to your normal-ish self. he watched as that glimmer in your eye began to slowly grow brighter everyday. he watched as your smile came back, and your tears didn't come so frequently.

the first time he had heard you laugh again, spencer had thought he was dreaming. he wished he had recorded that moment. he was more grateful than he's ever been in his life that he had an eidetic memory, because that sound would forever be engraved in his brain.

when you returned to work, you clung to spencer. he had become your tether to reality, and hope. he had become your rock during the recovery.

over the months, everyone slowly began to forget what had even happened. things went on as usual, and the team forgot the traumatic experience you had gone through. even spencer might've let the experience get lost in his brain.

so when it became 11 months and 3 weeks since the abduction, you began to distance yourself once again.

you politely declined going out with the team a couple days before the anniversary, something you never did. you insisted that you were just especially worn out from the case you had just been on.

spencer had to finish files given to him by derek anyway, so he didn't get to witness the encounter.

once the day of the anniversary came upon you, you found yourself feeling sick to your stomach. you couldn't help the tears that would fall from your face every so often. you knew why you felt this way, but you wanted to push past it.

you had gone into the office wearing a pantsuit and blazer, wanting to avoid the normal office skirt you happened to be wearing the day it happened. you stayed at your desk and quietly did your case files. you didn't even greet spencer as you would every day. you gave him a kind smile, but you would normally give him a hug, or at the very least an eager wave upon his arrival.

spencer just assumed it was one of those days where you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it wasn't spencer's fault he thought this. he didn't even look at his calendar to check what day it was. he just knew they had paperwork.

but he did have this day marked in his calendar. he had it marked so he would remember to be extra kind to you, and do your files for you, and come to your place with your favorite wine and takeout. he wanted to help you through the one year anniversary, but he forgot to check his stupid calendar.

you thought he didn't care. you thought the man who you loved, and the man who helped you through everything that had happened had had enough of your complaining and grievances. so, you didn't tell him about it. you didn't bother him with the terrible thoughts clouding your mind because you thought it'd burden him.

so when you finished all of your case files early, you asked hotch if you could leave early, at 2:00, because you had things to tend to. he allowed you to do so, but this rose a flag for spencer.

he saw you exit without saying goodbye to him, something you hadn't done the entirety of knowing him. you had always told everyone to have a nice night and to be safe before leaving, but not today.

finally, he looked at his phone for the first time all day, only to feel like the worst person in the world to realize what day it was. spencer felt absolutely horrible at this revelation and ran into hotch's office as quick as he could after packing his things.

"hotch!" he exclaimed upon opening his office door.

"go. she was practically in tears," hotch informed him. "and reid," spencer stopped in his tracks to turn and look at the stern man, "please make sure she's okay." spencer gave him a soft grin and a nod before turning around and bolting out of the office.

you had gotten home and immediately burst into tears. you shut the door with your back, and slid down it. you had never understood why people had done that in movies until now. you just couldn't wait to break any longer, so you settled for your front door.

you held back no wail, or scream as you cried in front of your door, your knees pulled up to your chest as you held them tightly.

you wondered why you had to go through that. you wanted to know what kind of karma there was for someone who had always tried to do the right thing to be hurt... and for nobody to even care. nobody wanted to console you, or to make sure you were alright.

you had checked up on everyone on every anniversary of their struggles. whether it be a death, abduction, anything, you had been there for every single anniversary or reminder. and nobody was there for you.

nobody was there for you to hug, or to lean on, or to cry to, or to scream at, or to rant to. nobody was there. nobody loved you enough to care about that.

but then you had to remind yourself that they all had lives.

but the person who is your life didn't even care.

spencer didn't care.

and that's why you truly lost it.

he acted like it was just another day. he acted like it wasn't the anniversary of the day you thought you were going to die. the day you wanted to die. the day you felt your most low, and humiliated. the day you lost all hope. and he didn't remember.

if the man with an eidetic memory didn't remember, it must be extremely insignificant. so therefore, you must be extremely insignificant.

spencer raced to your house. he wanted to be there for you today, and he failed. he felt like a failure as a friend. he hated himself for not being there for you when he knew you would need him. he knew how you clung to him in your time of need. you thought he was worthy enough to hold onto when you needed someone, and spencer felt elated at that.

but now he wasn't there for you. and you needed him.

he had quickly stopped by the store and your favorite takeout place to get the things you'd want. he got your wine, chocolate, food, flowers, and a teddy bear that had a sweater vest on him - you've always loved his sweater vests.

when he got to the steps of your house, he felt his heart drop. as he walked closer he heard the wails of your crying right by the door. he could sense the heartache from the edge of your porch, and felt himself feel even worse, which he didn't think was possible.

he instantly ran to the door and knocked profusely. you sniffled one last time, feeling embarrassed that someone had heard you crying your heart out. you had figured one of your neighbors heard you and wanted to tell you to keep it down, so you wiped your tears and the stray mascara from underneath your eyes and opened the door, keeping your eyes lowered in embarrassment.

"y/n," spencer announced sadly, a tear falling down his face. you looked up in confusion from hearing his voice. you noticed his tear and reached up to wipe it away on instinct.

"why're you crying? are you okay?" you asked, forgetting all of your own problems at the sight of spencer crying. spencer let out a small chuckle at your concern.

"i'm alright, aside from the fact that i'm a terrible friend," he admitted as his smile quickly faded upon seeing your stained cheeks. "i brought your favorites," he offered, holding the bag of goodies in one hand and the takeout in another.

"y-you... why?" you asked, wanting to make sure you weren't misreading the situation for him trying to comfort you.

"why?" he asked in disbelief. "because it's the anniversary. i can't tell you how sorry i am, y/n. i swear i marked it on my calendar and planned for us to take off so i could take care of you. i-i just woke up late and never bothered to even check my phone. i kn-know it's no excuse... but i am so, so, so sorry," he rambled out, already tearing up.

you grabbed his arm gently and pulled him inside before you started crying in front of your neighbors. you took the bags from his hands and placed them on your coffee table.

"i thought you just didn't care," you shrugged as you took a seat on the couch, prompting him to sit beside you.

"y/n..." he sighed as he realized how terrible he screwed up. "i will always care about this. i will always care about you. don't ever think differently. i'm just incredibly... dumb sometimes. i can't believe i made you think that," he trailed on. "i will never not care about you, y/n. i swear it. i will always, always care about you. i will always love you," he froze as he realized what he just revealed. your eyes widened, and squinted, and roamed his face, trying to figure out if he meant the words he had just sped out. "i truly do, y/n. i i’m in love with you and i'm so sorry i made it seem otherwise."

it took you a second to absorb everything that he had said.

"you too," you solemnly admitted. "i’m in love with you too. and i could forgive you... for almost forgetting," you gave him a small smile.

"i'm glad you could forgive me. i don't know what i'd do if you didn't," he relished. "you actually love me?" you nodded with a small smile.

"i have for a while," you turned your head to the bags on the table.

"oh! right!" he said, reaching for the gifts. "i got your favorite takeout, your favorite wine, your favorite chocolates, flowers, and..." he trailed on as he revealed each item. "i saw this teddy, and i couldn't resist," he smiled.

you took the bear, taking in its appearance. it had a light blue, navy, and white diamond pattern sweater vest and brown shoes on. it looked like spencer, just teddy bear form. you smiled widely at the sentiment.

"it's you," you grinned as you took it in your arms, hugging it tightly as you saw spencer nodded with a smile mirroring that of your own. "i love it," you chuckled.

"i would understand, the fur is really soft," he relished in the thought.

"i don't think he'd be as good of a cuddler as the real thing, though," you grimaced. "but he'll do for when i don't have you here i guess," you shrugged with a smile.

"i plan on being here as long as you'll let me," he said softly.

"always," you grinned, setting down the teddy bear and trading him for the real spencer reid.

"always," he repeated, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tightly as if you'd float away at any moment. "now let's dig into this food while you talk about your feelings, if you want that is," he said after releasing you from the hug.

"i think i want to," you nodded. "and spence?" he turned from getting the food out of the bag to look at you for a second. "thank you for being my rock through all of this."

"i'll always be your rock, y/n."

@averyhotchner  @greenprisca  @muffin-cup

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | Chapter 25-27

summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

A/N: Set between seasons 4 and 6, not following canon. all original crimes based on real-life stories.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

Word Count: 18k

chapter 25

“What do you mean we’re working a missing dog case?” Hotch questioned his whole entire life at that moment as Mindy and Garcia explained the case they think they found.

“Sir, I promise you’re going to want to listen to this,” Garcia said softly, her green dress and pink hair pom-poms really reassuring him that everything was fine.

Y/N watched him roll his eyes and wish he was somewhere else, he had been getting more and more fed up with work lately. Having a hard time with Strauss, his wife, and the job in general. After Hayley almost died last year and being stabbed, he had the worst luck on the team.

“It’s going to take a minute for you to see what we see,” Mindy matched Garcia’s aura perfectly, dressed in a cat sweater.

“All 5 of these families have reported dogs missing in the Sacramento area. You think that’s not that weird, they’re probably stealing dogs for fights and step one in the serial killer handbook. But you’d be wrong,” Garcia explained, flipping from photos of missing dog posters to murdered families.

“The dogs go missing right, the parents put all their information onto a flyer, the flyer gets plastered into the neighbourhood where everyone sees it. The unsub takes the flyer, and the dog and returns it to the family just to get inside of the house. He learns what their safety protocols are like and then he decides to break in and murder,” Mindy laid it all out easily for them to follow.

“Is there any evidence that the killer is the dognapper?” Prentiss asked, chewing on the end of her pencil as she tried to wrap her head around it all.

“No,” Garcia pressed her lips together quickly. “But! Family number 5, they were murdered on Friday. Their crime scene is the newest, it’s where we’ll get the best idea of what’s going on.”

“Sir,” Mindy added. “If I’m correct about this, another family is going to die in 2 days. There’s been another small dog reported missing in Sacramento, the same type of family and everything. It’s a signature if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Send us everything you have, wheels up in 20,” Hotch sighed, taking his things and leaving the room.

“Is he okay?” Y/N asked Rossi.

Dave and he were the closest, Hotch never told his secrets of personal gossip to anyone else. He knew Rossi understood family problems the best. Having been married and divorced 3 times each.

“Don’t repeat this, Garcia that means you,” he teased her quickly. “He asked Hayley if she wanted more kids, after seeing you and JJ expanding the BAU’s gifted children program. She said she’d only have another baby if he took a few years off.”

“Oh,” Y/N wasn’t surprised. If Spencer wasn’t in the BAU he probably wouldn’t get it either. “He’s young, he can come back at any time, as you did.”

“Which is what I said to him. He just doesn’t know how he’d fill all the time yet, he doesn’t have an interest in fishing or cigars like moi,” Rossi explained. Standing up and straightening out his suit, “not to mention the writing chops to keep your brain fresh.”

“Come on grandpa, it’s time to board the plane you can brag later,” Derek patted him on the back. “Some of us like to stay active and have fun on our time off.”

“I’ll have you know I’m very fun,” Rossi argues as they leave the room. They were like a bunch of teenagers sometimes.

“Well, I’ll see you in a few days, just be in Vegas by Sunday at 2 pm,” Y/N frowned at Spencer. “Call me when you’re free?”

Spencer leaned in and kissed her softly. Rubbing his hand over her belly as he did so, saying goodbye to the little dude in there. “Be good, take care of each other.”

She smiled, wishing he didn’t have to go again. “We always do, come home to me safely boy wonder.”

In Penelope’s office, Mindy had basically moved in. It was big enough for the two of them and they worked together anyway. Sharing all the computer space, rolling around each other like crazy people as they switched jobs. That meant that Mindy’s office became Y/N’s office when she stayed back on a case.

Y/N would be 33 weeks pregnant as of Thursday, and officially Mrs. Dr. Reid by Sunday.

If everything went according to plan. This case seemed simple enough to get them home in time. If not, the flight from LA to Vegas wasn’t even that long. Y/N and Will had a plan if this was to happen, JJ and Spencer would head right to Vegas while Will and Henry flew in with Y/N. All she really needed was her wedding dress and hospital go-bag, and Spencer.

She wasn’t going to go into labour any time soon, Matty was still way too high and she was barely even having Braxton hicks contractions yet. If her body wasn’t practicing, surely it wouldn’t just start. She was a planner, she planned everything and this pregnancy didn’t seem to listen. All she wanted was for him to be born on or after June 10th, healthy and happy, that’s her only wish.

She hated cases like these, ones that made her sit behind a desk and just look at everything till it made sense. But it never did, not in her brain. Thinking like an unsub was the only time it made sense, but she never understood it. Kidnapping a dog just to kill a family was never going to be something one could just understand.

The only idea she had was to get someone inside the newest victims’ house and just wait for the unsub to return the dog. It would be the easiest way to bring him in for questioning. So she called Hotch.

“Hotchner,” he answered shortly.

“Hey, I was just wondering if you had a plan yet? If not, I’ve been thinking.”

“We’re trying to find a way to get eyes and ears inside the vics home,” Hotch explained, it sounded like he was driving and yelling over the speaker.

“I was thinking you could send in Reid or Morgan posing as a tutor or coach of some kind, then you can hide the equipment in the bag they bring in, it would be the least suspicious,” she ran her thoughts through to him.

“That would work, I’ll have the team see what we can do from our end,” Hotch ended the call abruptly. Still in the bad mood from when he left.

She couldn’t blame him, it’s a hard spot raising kids and having this job. Y/N and Spencer were still trying to figure out how they were going to pull it off. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for Haley, always being alone with Jack and half the time her life was in danger. The risk that came with the job almost didn’t feel worth it, especially when it meant losing your family on top of everything else.

They sent Derek in, with Penelope in his ear, as he set up the cameras and microphones. Setting up 24/7 patrol across the street in a model home. Meaning that Y/N’s job was basically over and all she had to do was kick her feet up and eat snacks until she could go home.

—

Spencer crawled into bed 2 days later around 4 in the morning, cuddling into her without even taking off his work clothes. She barely slept when Spencer wasn’t home, she opened her eyes when she noticed he was there, as if she hadn’t even slept yet.

He smelled like hotel soap and stale airplane air. “Hi,” he whispered as he tried to cuddle in close to her, being held back by her belly.

“Home just in time to have to fly out again,” she smiled at him softly.

“I know,” he sighed. “I doubt the bureau would like us if we used the jet to travel to a wedding. It’s bad enough we have one and no other unit does.”

“Are you excited or nervous?”

“Both.”

“Mmm,” she hummed along. “I’m nervous.”

“Why?”

“I still haven’t written my vows and,” she stopped herself, frowning a little as Spencer laid a hand on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s all happening so fast. I feel like I haven’t had a chance to enjoy any of it and I’m worried if this is how fast the lead-up is, then how fast will the night be over?”

“Oh bunny,” he cooed. “I’ll make sure we get a moment alone, how about we sneak off during the party and go to the swing and just spend time together? Really make the most of our day.”

“Okay,” she smiled again. “A part of me wishes it was just us.”

“How about this,” Spencer said as he sat up, turning on the bedside lamp before getting out of bed. He looked through his underwear drawer and pulled out the box the rings were in. “Marry me, right now?”

“What?” She laughed.

“Just me and you, marry me?”

“It won’t count this way?” She rebutted, sitting up as well as she squinted in the light. Trying to wake up more.

“you’re not religious and you hate the government even though you work for them,” he reminded her. “Having a sheet of paper and dedicating my life to you are two completely different things.”

“I told you I don’t have my vows ready!”

Spencer sat on the bed, sitting directly across from her as he placed the rings on the bed. Taking both her hands in his as he looked into her eyes. “Just make it up?”

“You’re insufferable,” she teased him.

“And you love me,” he teased right back.

“Fine, Spencer Reid, you big fuckin’ dork,” she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “My whole life I’ve just wanted to love you. I don’t know how I managed to pull it off, but here I am."

She let out a long, shaky breath as she continued. "You complete me, I don’t feel right when you’re not around and I never want to lose you. Marrying you means more to me than just becoming your wife, I don’t care about the term or the tax benefits," she laughed as a tear fell down her cheek. he wiped it away quickly.

"I was perfectly content just being in your rotation. Being your partner for life is a blessing to me, I’m going to love you forever.” She picked up and ring and put it on his finger.

His eyes were glossy as he watched her shaking hand slip the ring over him. He loved her more than he even knew how to describe at the moment.

“Do you remember that one time you asked me to show you how a real man loves a woman?”

She laughed, looking down at her gigantic belly. “Kinda hard to forget when I’m carrying around this extra 30 pounds.”

“It reminded me of a quote I read on a swing one time,” he said softly, watching her eyes gleam as she knew where he was going.

“The unqualified truth is, that when I loved Y/N with the love of a man, I loved her simply because I found her irresistible. Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. Once for all; I love her nonetheless because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection.”

“What’s that from?” Y/N couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her cheeks, she had never known what book he was reading. She always wondered what his thoughts were in that moment when their eyes locked in remembrance all those years ago.

“Great Expectations by Charles Dickens,” Spencer replied, starting to cry as well.

That’s when she remembered it, looking over at the book that had been sitting on his bedside table for months. It was the book he re-read the most, the book he was reading that first night in Wichita when she asked to crawl into his bed. The book he put down before they conceived Matthew. The whole time she was falling in love with him, the way she did as a child, he was reading the same book because it reminded him of her.

“I didn’t expect that book to hold such a place in my heart the first time I read it. I only brought it to the park with me that day because it was the closest book to me, and I was having a really hard day,” he stopped to wipe his tears softly. “Yet somehow, every single bad day in my life has been made better by you. You’re my greatest expectation, and the only one I’m trying the hardest to live up to.”

“I love you,” she replied to him softly. Holding his face in her hands now as she stared into his eyes, “you’re always going to be everything I’ve ever wanted and all I’ll ever need. You’ve met every expectation, and beyond.”

“I love you,” he smiled. He took her left hand off his cheek, sliding the silver band over her ring finger, pressing it snugly against her engagement ring. “forever.”

“And then some,” Y/N added before kissing him softly.

She smiled against his lips, sitting back and looking at him with complete wonder. “Dr. Y/L/N,” she teased him, pretending to tip her imaginary hat.

“Agent Reid,” he copied her causing them both to laugh again.

“So when is our real anniversary then?” Y/N asked softly, trying to remember what day of the month it was.

“It’s April 20th.”

“Our anniversary cannot be 4/20!” She panicked. “Oh. My god!”

Spencer laughed from down deep in his gut, laying down against the sheets as she smacked his arm lightly. “I’m serious, but that’s so funny though,” she laughed too.

She laid back against the sheets then, Spencer cuddled into her side. His face in the crook of her neck while laying a leg over hers. She held him as close as she could, Matthew really starting to get in the way of everything she did now.

She let out a deep breath as she settled with Spencer against her. “I love you so much, my husband.”

“I love you more, my wife,” he replied. The words sounding like heaven on his lips.

chapter 26

She let out a deep breath when the dress actually zipped up. She was so worried that in the last 2 weeks her body had completely changed. JJ finished with her zipper, fluffing her dress and making sure everything was in place.

Her mom was wiping her tears for the 4th time in the last hour, Y/N couldn’t stop laughing every time she heard her sniffle. It didn’t feel as life-changing as her mother made it seem, Spencer and Y/N were already married in her opinion, this was just a nice formality for their parents.

She could hear all the people talking in her parent’s yard, a few kids yelling as they ran around each other. People were already drinking, there was food and snacks all around. It was just a big party where they were going to tell everyone exactly how much they loved each other.

As much as she was ready mentally, her body was shot. The butterflies in her stomach wouldn’t leave, the baby was kicking from the anxiety in her body no matter how hard she tried to calm down. It was nerve-wracking to be so open in front of so many people.

It was even worse with the fact she hadn’t seen Spencer since yesterday. As much as he claimed he wasn’t superstitious, he really didn’t want to see her before the wedding. Claiming his mother was the worried one, Y/N let it slide no matter how much she hated sleeping in her childhood bed all by herself with a mini-gymnast in her stomach.

“Are you ready?” JJ asked her softly.

She nodded, looking in the mirror at herself one last time. “Can I have a minute?”

“Sure,” JJ smiled, taking Debbie with her as they walked out of her room.

She stood in the window, opening the blinds and looking out towards the swings once again. Spencer was sitting there, swinging while staring at her window.

She smiled, feeling the butterflies leave her system in a beautiful flurry as their eyes locked. She was ready, she had always been ready to marry him.

She walked out of the room and down the stairs, holding the railing carefully. She was just wearing a pair of crocs under her dress, not trusting her big clumsy ass with heels.

She waited in the foyer as Emily walked across the street to gather everyone. She was officiating for them, Spencer wanted her to be the one to marry them, she was the closest thing to a sister he had.

Every single important person in their lives was in the crowd. Even Spencers father was there, in the back, quiet. Diana was happy to see him, Spencer felt indifferent. Gideon came too, which made it a little easier.

They all walked across the street then, gathering at the end of the makeshift aisle they laid out in the park. Penelope played a simple wedding march, starting the ceremony officially.

Everyone stood, turning towards them. Chloe went down first, dropping flower petals in big clumps here and there before running towards her mom. Then it was Y/N’s turn, opting out of the whole bridesmaid’s thing for the sake of not having to pick and choose between her co-workers and sisters-in-law.

Her dad extended an arm for her, she took it as she softly smiled at him. He looked like he was trying not to cry, “ready?”

“Let’s go,” she whispered.

Seeing Spencer at the end of the aisle was like a dream. She began to walk towards him, every step closer made her heartbeat louder and louder in her chest. Before she knew it she was standing in front of him, her dad giving her a soft kiss on the cheek before handing her over to Spencer.

The idea of giving her away was weird. He wasn’t giving her to him, he was simply helping her reach him. And he always had been.

Spencer’s hand was soft in hers and they stepped towards Emily together.

The music stopped then, causing them to turn to each other and smile. It was time.

It felt more like time stopped, however, getting a sort of tunnel vision for each other as the rest of the world faded away.

“Welcome everyone, you can take a seat,” Emily cut into the moment. “A few weeks ago Spencer asked me if I’d marry him off to his best friend, I of course said yes because who can say no to that face?”

Everyone laughed as Spencer blushed. “Spencer is the smartest man to work in the FBI, we’re not afraid to admit that. From the day I met him, he was nothing but informative and kind, as well as shy and personal. It took a while to learn anything about him, but once you get to know him he’s like an open book. And it’s a good story.”

“Like most good fairy tales, it’s a story told in two parts. Starting with a meet-cute of cosmic proportions, a plotline that would make any other ’right for each other at the wrong time,’ story run for the hills,” Emily exaggerated.

“And finally, a reunion,” her voice was soft then. “I’ll never forget the day Spencer held the door open for Y/N, she walked in with a smile on her face that was almost as big as Spencers. He introduced us to a childhood friend that day, not realizing she would become part of our family.”

Y/N felt herself getting a little choked up, seeing Penelope and JJ wiping their tears just off to the side.

“It’s a story best told in the first person,” Emily laughed at her own joke. “So, without further ado, ladies first,” she instructed, stepping away from the altar to keep the focus on them.

“Well?” Y/N shook her head at him, motioning with her hand for him to start speaking. Making everyone laugh once again. Spencer’s smile was adorable as he giggled.

“Would you say— hypothetically, of course, that soulmates are real, Doctor Reid?” She questioned him softly.

He nodded, “I would.”

“Good,” she smiled. “Because I think you’re mine. And I think I’ve known that for a very long time. There was something about you, that first day I saw you. You weren’t shoving dirt up your nose or pulling on my hair. You were reading a book, I believe it was Matilda, you were all by yourself and you looked sad.”

“Me, being me,” she laughed to herself, “I marched over to you and I asked if you wanted to play in the sandbox with me. One small gesture changed the entire course of my life, you became a friend and then a stranger again in the blink of an eye. I know what it’s like to know of you and not be in your presence and it’s the worst.”

She didn’t want to cry, but she knew she was about to. “I know you’re my soulmate because my soul physically aches when you’re not around. Like magnets, I’m pulled towards you and I’m willing to crush anything that gets in the way. You and I were once the same cosmic rock just floating through space, separated for millions of years until the time was right.”

“I found you right when I needed you,” she wiped a tear off her cheek quickly. “When we needed each other. And I’m never going to let you go.”

She turned towards Emily, grabbing a ring from her. “With this ring, you’re tied to me for eternity now, the way things always should have been.”

“I love you,” Spencer whispered, wiping his own tears before holding her hands again.

“Your turn, pretty boy,” she teased him one last time, laughing to try and stop the tears.

“Most of you know the story,” Spencer began his speech. Staring into Y/N’s eyes, trying to forget there was an audience.

“We met in kindergarten, she was wearing a sundress with green and pink flowers, much like today. You had bangs back then and a cute pink bow in your hair. And you were as stubborn then as you are now,” he smiled. “Mrs. Richardson had told me twice that we weren’t allowed to put water in the sandbox, no matter how important it was to the construction of my model pyramids. That’s why I was reading my book. You went to your backpack, grabbed a water bottle, and poured it right into the sand without thinking twice about the consequences.

“I didn’t really see you again until I was 13, I sat on that swing with my copy of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens while you sat in your window way up there.” He pointed at her house, past the swing set. “I’ll never know what you were reading or what you were thinking, but I have the exact moment I saw you ingrained in my memory,” Spencer’s words were soft as his thumbs ran over her hands.

“Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets.” Spencer recited from memory.

“You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to displace with your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Y/N, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation I associate you only with the good, and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress I may. O God bless you,” Spencer’s voice trailed off to a whisper as he reached the end.

“I read that quote moments before seeing you again, and part of me knew the universe had greater plans for us. And I knew, Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces – and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper – love her, love her, love her!”

“With this ring,” Spencer finally added. Lifting the last ring from Derek’s extended hand, placing it on Y/N’s ring finger where it belonged. “I vow to love you till my very last moments, and if heaven is real I’ll be waiting for your loving embrace.”

She wiped her tears quickly, looking up as she tried to stop her mascara from smudging. “You’re a dick sometimes,” she started to laugh before hearing the crowd do the same.

“You love me,” he teased her.

“I do,” she smiled, pulling him in and kissing him hard on the lips. Getting lost in his embrace as the world around them stopped.

—

Having every single person that she loved mingle around her parent’s backyard felt a little surreal. Her father and Rossi were smoking cigars together on the desk, Levi and Will were discussing training stories while Chloe and Henry chased each other around the yard.

Emily and Noelle were slowly dancing in their own little world to the music that played, not too far from Haley and Arron who had the same idea. Jack was talking to Derek, sharing stories about their favourite superhero.

Diana and Debbie were going around making sure everyone had a drink or a snack, discussing their children and showing off to everyone that was there. It was a lot to take in, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. This was the most perfect little wedding she could have ever asked for.

Spencer never left her side, holding her hand where ever she went for the majority of the night. Knowing she hated being the centre of anyone else attention, calming her down from all the eyes that were on her.

“Do you want to go to the swing?” He whispered in her ear when they were finally alone.

“Please,” she looked up at him with pleading eyes. Wanting to just be alone with him for a while.

She snuck out of the yard and across the street, Y/N sat down on the swing for the first time in years, her big belly thanking her for the relief. Spencer pushed her lightly on the swing, helping her swing in the late-night spring breeze in rural Nevada.

The light in her bedroom was still on, illuminating the empty room she called hers for the majority of her life. Still unable to process the fact that she did it, she married Spencer. She made a life in his orbit, she was happy and loved and making a family with the man of her dreams.

This was the best revenge she could have ever gotten on any childhood bully or predator in her life. Pure happiness, that no one could take from her. Knowing she did this on her own, meeting Spencer out of the blue and building a life of joy and peace was so unbelievably wonderful.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” Spencer asked softly as he continued to push her on the swing.

“I’m just amazed that I did it,” she said softly.

“Did what?”

“all this,” she waved her arm out in front of her. “I grew up, I made friends and a family and found the love of my life even after believing for so long that I never would.”

“the universe had better plans for you than you thought,” She could hear the smile on Spencer’s face as he spoke. “You’re so deserving of the world and then some, you’re worth the universe to me. Brighter than any star in the sky, more powerful than the big-bang.”

She dragged her feet along the sand, stopping the swing abruptly before turning around to see Spencer. His eyes glistened in the moonlight or the streetlight. Either way, his brown eyes were glowing as she looked up at him softly.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?”

She wrapped her arms around him as best as she could, pressing her cheek against his chest softly. “For showing me that love is real.”

“Being able to love you has been the best part of my life.”

She pulled him into another kiss, holding his face softly as she peppered kisses to his lips over and over. “You get me forever.”

“And then some.”

“Hypothetically,” she teased him lightly. “Anything is possible when the two of us get together.”

“I love you,” was all he could say before kissing her again.

They could hear the music travelling across the street for the yard, she wrapped her arms around him and swayed to the beat. Taking a moment completely alone with him to just appreciate him. To hold him close, hear his heartbeat through his suit jacket and just take it all in.

The rest of her life started at that moment, the birth of a new future. One with endless possibilities, endless happiness, and the most love in the whole world.

Soulmates, 500 years in the making.

Placing 500 more years of possibilities in the hands of Fate, who cradled them in her loving embrace. Making a future for them unlike any she’s made before.

Epilogue

2020

The birds chirping used to make her wake up with a smile, now it made her panic a little. She was so overly used to being woken up to a baby crying, a kid with a tummy ache, or the sound of fighting coming from the cribs in the twin’s room.

When it was quiet she worried, opening her eyes and looking around to see all 4 of her children cuddled up around her and Spencer. Completely asleep, and absolutely adorable.

Matthews’s face was beside hers on the pillow. His long hair falling over his face, just like his fathers used to all those years ago. She kissed her baby on the forehead, unable to fully understand that he was 10 now.

The twins were in the middle, Harper and Derek were attached at the hip all day long. Sleeping basically on top of each other, it was the only way they were peaceful. Since being squished together in the womb, they’ve become best friends and each other’s comfort person over the last 6 years.

Alice on the other hand was a daddy’s girl. Probably because she got the most time with him, 2 and a half years’ worth of all Spencer’s love and affection.

Spencer had quit the BAU when they got pregnant with their last baby, deciding he wanted to be with his kids full time. He wanted to be more present, to make more memories and just be a good dad.

Every morning Alice would find her way into the bed, she’d do whatever it took to get between Y/N and Spencer, cuddling into her father’s arms and going back to sleep. Almost every time, she would push her mom’s arms away, waking Y/N up in the process just to smirk at her as if to say; “haha my turn.”

She loved her little family. And they loved her too, she had been out of town for a week on a really bad case that required all hands on deck. They called her every day, begging her to come home soon, breaking her heart. So it wasn’t a surprise to see all of them snuggled in, taking in all the time with her that they could.

Matthews’s eyes fluttered as he woke up, his big beautiful brown eyes looking at her softly. “Mom,” he said softly with a smile before wrapping his arms around her neck and snuggling into her. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, Mr. Magoo,” she whispered into his hair, holding him close. He still smelled like her little baby, only bigger as he rested against her.

“Are we still going to Uncle Dave’s tonight?” He asked as he settled against her, wanting her to run her fingers through his hair. It calmed him as it did for Spencer, soothing his mind as it ran a million miles a minute.

“I think so,” she replied, picking him up softly and laying on her back more. “I think all your cousins are going to be there too.”

“Even Jack?” He asked, sitting up with wonder in his eyes. Jack was 15 now, and just the coolest dude in Matthews’s life. Much like how Spencer looked up to Hotch in the beginning.

“Even Jack!” She whispered with enthusiasm, trying to keep the others asleep but it was too late.

“Mommy!” Harper cried, pushing Derek away from her as she leaped into her mother’s arms.

“Hi sweetheart,” she couldn’t stop herself from laughing as she got smothered in hugs from the twins.

Spencer looked over at her then. Alice was snuggled into his neck, one hand on his shoulder, the other in his hair. She had always played with his hair every chance she could get. Especially whenever he held her or gave her a ride on his shoulders as they walked through the park.

“Hi,” Spencer smiled.

There he was, the love of her life. His smile made her feel at home, the love between them only growing every morning when they laid eyes on each other.

“Are you going to say hi to mommy?” Spencer asked Alice, rubbing her back softly.

She raised her hand to wave softly before dropping it back onto Spencer’s head with a smack, “ow?” He laughed lightly, making her bounce on his chest and laugh in response.

She was always quiet in the morning, leaving all the talking to her siblings. She was the calmest of them all, she was also the easiest of the 4 of them. She didn’t cry unless she was desperate for food or attention, she slept through the nights and was just all around not fussy at all. A literal blessing to their lives.

The twins were a lot, they knew they would be. She doesn’t miss the days and nights of them taking turns screaming. And she definitely doesn’t miss the ache of her body as two babies sucked her dry for almost 6 months. Breastfeeding kicked her ass the most, eventually making her lose too much weight and faint from low blood pressure, it sucked.

The outcome was beyond worth it. Derek and Harper were the craziest, funniest, loudest 6-year-olds in the whole world. If they weren’t writing a show, pretending to direct a spooky movie or pulling pranks on their father, they were planning to.

They had a specific dynamic, Harper was the planner and Derek was the do-er. Harper would come up with the sneakiest, worst ideas a child could have and somehow always managed to convince Derek to do it for her. A modern-day Jekyll and Hyde terrorized her home.

But Matthew, He was the sweetest. Being a single child till the age of 4 meant he was around Spencer and Y/N all the time, just the three of them. He’s shy but outgoing, he speaks his mind and he isn’t afraid to share his thoughts and feelings. He’s the best part of both of them but with all the confidence to follow his dreams. He was handsome and smart, he was sweet and kind, he was her baby. Forever and always, no matter how big he got.

He’s smart like Spencer, but not jumping through elementary school as fast. They agreed to let him decide when he turned 14. He deserved the chance to grow up with his own age group, to make friends and memories that were good and happy, to build the confidence to stand up for himself and others before he finished school. He didn’t mind it, he enjoyed helping other students when he finished his work early and asking for extra credit assignments.

And he liked being in class with Roz LaMontagne. They were smitten with each other from day one, always holding hands and playing nicely. JJ and Y/N always felt bad peeling them apart from each other at the end of a playdate, they were best friends.

It was like Roz had 2 older brothers with Henry and Matt, the 3 of them being so close in age they were often mistaken for triplets, with JJ and Y/N being their lesbian moms. It was a ruse that came in handy when they saw men checking them out, or when they wanted a family discount at the zoo.

Her life felt perfect, it was far from it in reality but she was happy with that. She worked long hours, her kids missed her every day, she didn’t see Spencer as often as she’d like and she was always tired. But that was what it took, she would work herself to the bone in an instant if it meant that she could come home and be snuggled like this every time.

“How was your week?” She asked Harper, brushing her strawberry blond hair behind her ear as she cuddled into her other side. Now having 3 children laying on top of her.

“Dad took us to the air and space museum,” Derek answered for her.

“No way!” Y/N enthused. “You need to tell me everything you learned!”

“The Museum is the largest of the Smithsonian's 19 museums and its Center for Earth and Planetary studies is one of the Institution's nine research centres. More than eight million people a year visit the Museum's two locations, making it one of the most visited museums in the country,” Matthew explained, remembering the sign at the entrance from memory.

“Wow, what was everyone’s favourite part? Maybe we can go again soon and you can all show me?” She suggested, riling them all up till they were bouncing on the mattress and screaming suggestions back and forth.

“Okay, okay,” Y/N settled them down. Watching them all sit-down and smile as they tried to stop laugh and listen. “Why don’t we go get breakfast and spend the morning together before we get ready to go to Aunt Penny’s party tonight okay?”

“I thought it was Uncle Dave's party?” Derek asked.

“It’s at his house but you know how aunt penny plans,” Y/N smiled at him. “How about you all go get dressed and pick something nice to wear while I talk to your dad for a bit?”

“Anything I want to wear?” Harper questioned her, very serious.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head, “something nice, but yes your choice.”

“Yes!” Harper screamed, hopping off the bed making the whole room shake as she ran down the hall. The sound of her bare feet slapping the hardwood carrying through the hallway in an echo.

“Matty, I’ll dress Alice, can you just watch her for a minute?” Spencer asked as he placed Alice in the middle of the bed.

“Sure,” Matthew smiled. “Come on Ali, I’ll read you a book?”

She put her arms out for her brother to carry her, and soon enough it was just Spencer and Y/N all alone again. Spencer and her both falling back against the pillows and sighing in the quiet.

Spencer pulled her into a hug, wrapping himself around her as he kissed her cheek, “I missed you so much, I hate when you’re gone.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you,” she said softly. “I got a job offer last night, and I think I’m going to take it.”

“What is it?”

“VICAP and the BAU are merging, even more, I’ve been asked to be the Chief of VICAP to personally overview the program and pass the information along to Prentiss,” She explained. “It would be a 9-5 thing, 5 days a week. I’d be home for dinner and all weekend long. We could have another baby or go on vacation? You know the possibilities are endless.”

Spencer kissed her again, “you’d be able to help people and be home all the time.”

“Exactly,” she smiled into his embrace. “I told them I’d let them know later today, they want me to start next month.”

“Follow your gut,” Spencer whispered, happy at the decision she was making either way.

“My gut is currently saying ‘feeeeed meeee’, so let’s get going!” She cheered as she tried to escape from his embrace.

He just held on tighter, tickling her stomach and kissing her neck, “help!” She cried, joking obviously and the kids knew that. Sure enough, 4 pairs of feet came running back into their room, dog piling them.

“I said help! Not suffocate me?!” She teased them as Spencer let her go, each taking a child and tickling them instead. Everyone was screaming again, giggling from deep in their stomach, feeling sick from how happy they were.

She loved every moment of it.

—

After 10 years, the BAU had gone through a lot of changes. Everyone seemed to come and go at least once, some leaving for good when their families started. But there were a lot of new faces now, once someone was on the team they were family.

It was a rare occasion for everyone to get together, especially now that almost everyone had kids. Spencer and Y/N went from being the 2nd set of parents to aunty and uncle to 8 kids in 10 years.

That meant that there were currently 12 screaming kids terrorizing Rossi’s beautiful backyard as the adults sat around the fire. “Please tell me no one here has a baby announcement to make, I don’t think I can handle a thirteenth,” Rossi complained, grey hair making him look more like papa Rossi than uncle Dave now.

“No,” everyone said in unison, laughing at the abundantly clear meaning. They were all too tired to do it all again.

“Like Spencer’s mom said, why have another when you can stop at perfection?” Emily joked as she leaned into Noelle’s embrace. “PJ is the best little guy in the world.”

“Spencer makes some great kids,” Y/N laughed. Remembering that time Emily nervously asked them if Spencer would be the donor for her child. Wanting her kid to be born with the best DNA she could think of.

“That he does,” Noelle smiled, looking into the yard to see PJ, Michael and Hank roughhousing like they always were.

They all had kids fairly close together, always making sure each new member of the BAU's gifted children program had friends who were more like family in their lives. Their small chosen family expanded not only in size but with the amount of love they shared for each other.

Henry was 12 now, Jack 15. They had always gotten along well together, being a little more on the nerdy side. They welcomed Matthew into their little group with open arms, as well as Roz.

Hotch ended up becoming Section Chief, taking a desk job so that he could spend more time with his family. They welcomed Jessie 6 years ago, right around the time Y/N had the twins. She was a spitting image of Haley with all the stern seriousness of Hotch. Seeing her and Harper try and work together was always funny. Harper and Derek were always trying to start shit somewhere, while Jessie ran to Y/N to tattle on them. It was the funniest dynamic out of all the age groups, and it was only going to get worse as they grew up.

“I don’t know,” Y/N sighed, looking at her kids as they all smiled and laughed. The joy they brought her was unimaginable, “I think 5 would be interesting.”

“You’re a psycho, and I should know, I’m an expert,” JJ just shook her head, blinking at the craziness. “I can barely handle 3.”

“Alice was so easy though,” she whined. “All of them were good, I miss having a baby who wanted to cuddle with me. It’s not fair Spencer gets all the attention now.”

“You could always quit, they’d love that,” he teased her softly, not wanting to wake Alice as she slept on him, tired from playing with everyone during the afternoon.

“My new position is going to be better for us,” she smirked.

“What position?” Penelope yelled at her.

“I’m going to be the VICAP unit chief,” she smiled, watching them all light up as they congratulated her. Starling the sleeping Alice on Spencer’s chest.

“I think I’ve done enough fieldwork, I’d like to cook more dinners and read more bedtime stories now,” she smiled. “I never thought I’d say that.”

“I don’t think any of us did,” Haley added. “I never expected Aaron to slow down, but when he did I think it was the best thing he chose to do. Jack and Jessie love having him around all the time.”

“To 10 plus years on the job, 10 years of friendship and the 12 new lives we brought into this world,” Y/N said as she lifted her can of ginger-ale, everyone following with their own drinks.

“To family,” Prentiss added.

“To family,” they all repeated.

Taking a sip before smiling at each other, everything ended up okay. It was more than they ever expected, and everything they hoped for.

—

The kids all fell asleep on the ride home. Spencer and Y/N each taking one of the twins upstairs first, placing them in their beds softly before returning to the garage for the others. Finding Matthew trying to carefully bring Alice inside to help his parents.

“Hey Matty it’s okay,” Spencer whispered, placing a hand on his back. “you go inside with your mom and I’ll take care of this.”

“Okay,” he replied, extremely tired as his eyelids drooped.

Y/N wrapped her arm around his shoulders, he was almost as tall as her already and she wasn’t ready for that. “Come on my baby,” she whispered as she led him into the house and up the stairs.

She helped him change into a pair of pyjamas before helping him into his bed, covering him in his adorable planet-covered sheets. She tucked him in nice a snug before sitting on the edge, looking down at him as he closed his eyes and settled in.

She brushed his brown curls off his face, making way for the kiss she was about to leave on his forehead. “Goodnight my Matty Magoo, I love you to the moon and back.”

“I love you to the edge of the milky way,” he replied with a small smile. “I’m excited for you to be home more. Dad worries about you and it makes him sad, I like seeing you both happy together.” He rambled all his thoughts out at night just like Spencer did.

She kissed his head softly, holding his cheeks in her hand as she looked into his beautiful brown eyes. “You are so sweet, have a good sleep and I will see you tomorrow. I love you.” She told him again, and she’d tell him a million more times if she could.

“I love you, too, mom,” he smiled one last time before closing his eyes.

She shut off his lamp, closing his door on the way out.

She stood in the hallway then, a hand on her heart as she thought about just how much she loved him. JJ wasn’t kidding when she said you grow a love so big you’d kill for them.

Back in the twin’s room, she made sure they were comfortable for the night, taking Harper out of the crazy dress and pants she picked out for the day. Tucking both of them into their little beds, kissing their heads before turning on their nightlight. They didn’t like the dark, and they liked to keep their door open a little so buddy could sneak in.

In her own room, she found Spencer in bed, shirtless with a book. He got sexier as he got older, it was impossible and yet it happened. Every year he looked different, in a wonderful way.

His hair was fluffy, his tummy was fuller— a dad bod as Penelope would call it. He wore glasses all the time now, having a hard time reading without them. It made him incredibly hot.

She changed into a cute pyjama set, satin shorts and a spaghetti strap top, wanting to get his attention away from whatever book he found this time.

She could feel his eyes on her as she changed, not wanting to look at him and make him stop.

He put his book down when she got in beside him, still on the right side after all these years. “What?” She asked him as he kept staring at her.

“Were you serious?”

“Yes I do think you’re sexy, I didn’t think you could read minds too?” She teased him.

“Funny,” he smiled at her. “Do you want another baby?”

She shrugged, “we could Russian roulette this and just see if it happens?”

“Seriously?” His voice dropped, softer than normal. “Because I would have 16 more kids with you if you wanted. They’re all so amazing, every time.”

“I know,” she felt her heart melt. “Matthew said you get sad when I’m not here, he worries for you.”

“All week, Harper wore her regular outfits because she likes making you laugh with her silly ones,” Spencer told her. They liked to share secrets about their kids at night. Basically profiling them.

“I love them,” her heart felt like it was going to burst.

“Come here,” Spencer requested, waiting for her to sit on his hips and look down into his eyes like she always did. She brushed the hair off his face, holding his cheeks in her hands.

His eyes are so much like Matthews, but it was Alice who looked the most like him. She had his nose, his chin, she was tall and skinny and just the most adorable copy of him. Every feature on him was in one of their kids, he saw the same thing in her.

“Are you sure?” She asked him softly.

“The only thing in the whole world that I know for certain is that I love you and this family. Even gravity is simply a hypothetical, but you and me… I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” his words soft and his expression softer.

She kissed him, pressing her lips against his for the first time in a while. It always felt like coming home, this was where she was meant to be.

When she pulled back all she wanted to do was look at him for a minute, to imagine what new little face the two of them could make together. All 4 of their children were so perfect, she couldn’t imagine a 5th possibility.

“Put a baby in me,” She whispered.

She didn’t have to tell him twice, he reached over to the night table to turn off the light before kissing her neck softly. His big, warm hands wrapped around her back, pulling her in closer to him.

He was so much different now from the first time they did this. Confident, stronger, older, but he was still her soft boy. He held her with care, kissed her like she was made out of glass. The contrast of his actions and the feeling of his rough hands on her body made her feel like she was on fire.

He pushed the straps of her shirt off her shoulders, dipping her back a little so he could kiss her cheek. He pushed her shirt down, freeing one of her breasts, holding it softly in his hands before kissing the newly exposed skin.

His tongue swiped across her nipple, making her gasp and grip his arm as she rutted into the feeling. He cradled her head in his hands, laying her back with her head now at the foot of the bed.

Still, between her legs, he pulled the satin shorts down slowly to see she never wore any underwear under them. He smirked, running his finger softly over her vagina, watching in awe as she spread her legs wider for him.

She could see how hard he was, his erection making a tent in his boxers as he teased her softly. “Still so perfect,” he praised her. “Look how tight you are, sucking my finger inside that tight heat.”

She tightened around him on purpose then, feeling his finger slip in even more. “Fuck,” he gasped. Moving down more to place a kiss on her clit.

Her breathing picked up then, even after 11 years of sex with this man, the thought of his tongue on her still made her shiver. He was just that good, always getting better every time he dove face-first into her.

Her back arched the second his tongue connected with her clit. Pushing herself into his tongue more and more as he explored her. Two fingers were inside of her now, Spencer’s mouth kissing and sucking and licking every single inch of her pussy as she quietly gasped into the darkness.

She wanted to scream for more, she always did, but she couldn’t anymore. There were 4 sets of ears just down the hall trying to have a peaceful night’s sleep, she had to remind herself of that every time.

“Fuck, Spencer,” she whispered, biting her lip so nothing else slipped out.

“What?” He whispered against her skin, kissing her groin and lower tummy.

“Please,” she begged softly, sitting up and climbing onto his lap once more. “Daddy?”

It had been years since she said that to him, not able to utter the words once he actually became a father. It lit a fire in him, pulling her in closer before he ripped the shirt off her body.

He held her against him, kissing her neck as he basically growled at the feeling. Becoming almost feral with the thought of fucking her. She was in love with the feeling, when he got rough with her it was the best.

She enjoyed every second of it, knowing she’d wake up in the morning with beard burn on her neck and between her thighs, not giving a single fuck. It was so worth it, the tickle of his facial hair on her skin beside his mouth, she craved it.

“I need you out of those boxers, sir,” she panted, holding his hair as he continued to kiss her neck.

He pulled off her, looking at her in the darkness with lust-filled eyes. “Lay back,” he instructed her.

She always listened, laying back against the pillows as he freed himself from the confines of his underwear. Crawling on top of her and hovering slightly as he looked down at her. He brushed her hair off her face, kissing her lips lightly before smiling.

“Tell me again what you want?”

She smirked, “I want you to put a baby in me, fill me up. Let me make you a daddy again?”

The noise that left his throat was enough to make her clit twitch again, it was deep and guttural and beyond sexy. He became an animal on nights like this.

She spread her legs again, wrapping her knees around him as he pulled him in against her body. “Fuck me, Spencer.”

He lined himself up with her quickly, dragging the head of his cock through her folds a few times before he began to push in. Little by little, achingly slow. Teasing her, knowing just how badly she wanted him to pound into her.

“Yes,” she sighed as he bottomed out, dropping her head back against the pillow softly.

Her hands roamed his back, waiting for him to start to move again. Digging her nails in when he finally did, pulling out slowly before pushing back in with effort.

“Ah,” she moaned softly, covering her own mouth as he started to move faster.

“Shhh,” he reminded her, kissing her neck again as he found his rhythm.

“Shut up and fuck me then,” she sounded desperate. “Please,” she added. Not wanting him to stop out of spite.

“Shut up and take it,” he ordered, placing his own hand over her mouth as he fucked her harder.

She couldn’t believe it, he was holding one hand over her mouth while his other reached for her clit, making her jolt forward at the contact. It was everything she wanted, it was rough and powerful and just the best reminder that she belonged to him.

Spencer was hers, she was his, they created this entire world together. She felt so overwhelmed, she wasn’t aware that she was crying at the pleasure till Spencer moved his hand off her mouth to wipe off a tear.

“Keep going,” she encouraged him. “Please, please.”

“Shhh,” he soothed her, “I’m going to make you feel so good bunny, you’re going to be so full, so beautiful carrying another one of our babies.”

That did it for her, she tilted her head back as she arched her back. Pulling Spencer’s fingers into her mouth so that she wouldn’t moan too loud as she came on his cock.

Spencer shuttered at the feeling, fucking into her with vigour as he tried to hold in his own moans. Sounding more like a whimper when he finally came, spilling into her with the force of a Mack truck.

He dropped against her body then, breathing deep into her neck. She wrapped her legs around him tightly, holding him inside of her so nothing slipped out. “Fuck.”

“I love you,” Spencer breathed against her skin.

She ran her fingers through his hair softly before kissing his forehead. “I love you more.”

They stayed like that for a while, only pulling apart finally to get cleaned up. Spencer turned back on the light, helping her to the bathroom quietly before stripping the sheets off the bed.

She returned to a freshly made bed and a dressed Spencer waiting for her. She put her shorts and a t-shirt back on, slipping into bed and cuddling into him once more. Having to look presentable for when the kids eventually came running into their room at 7 am.

She sighed into his embrace, smiling softly against his skin. “What was that Buddha quote you told me all those years ago?”

“When you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other,” Spencer replied softly.

“Goodnight, Spence,” she kissed his jaw softly as she snuggled in closer.

“Goodnight, bunny.”

the end

[goldensstateofgrace]

Day and Night.

Requests || Main Masterlist || Spencer Masterlist || Prompt list 

Prompts: 2) "You're so cute when you're sleepy." 11) ."Just lie with me for a while. I'm not ready to get up." (also this wasn’t requested I just felt inspired) 

Summary: Y/n appreciates the Day and Night part of the job. 

Warnings: fluff, nothing else I think (if there is send me a ask and I’ll add it no question!! <3)

Word count: 1K+

Hope you enjoy!! Happy reading!! <33 - G

-

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One would think, spending all day with someone and then going home and spending even more time with them would eventually cause a rift in the relationship, but no. 

When you’re in a relationship with someone, who is also your coworker, they understand that when you are on the job or not at home, that you both need to act professional. 

That’s why it’s so easy with Spencer. He knows what needs to be done when you are not at home, he knows he needs to get the job done safely and professionally, so that you both can go home together at night. 

That’s also why you take advantage when you both have the, very rare, days off. Just cuddling and being in each other’s presence. 

It’s honestly, very rare, that you get to do this.

So when you wake up in the morning and feel eyes on you, it doesn’t surprise you that Spence is just watching you sleep, “bub, it’s too early,” you groan, snuggling deeper into his warmth as his arms tighten around your waist. 

He chuckles softly, moving some sparse hairs off of your forehead and placing a gentle, sweet kiss upon it. 

“You’re so cute when you’re sleepy,” he whispered into the top of your head. He runs his hands through the back of your hair, his other holding you tightly to his chest from your waist. 

“Mhm,” you hum, your eyes closed as you soak in the warmth of his body being so close to yours. 

You feel the shake of his chest as he chuckles at your reply, “baby, you gotta get up soon. We promised to go to JJ’s to watch Henry and Michael for them,” he reminds you. 

You silently curse in your thoughts, all you wanna do is stay in his arms. 

"Just lie with me for a while. I'm not ready to get up," you mumbled into his chest. If it was even possible, you cuddled further into him. Your face was buried in his neck as your left arm was wrapped around his back. 

You both hadn’t realized, but you both fell back to sleep. Only waking up when a phone started to ring loudly through the relativity small room. 

You woke up to Spencer's cheek leaning down on top of your head, his neck bent is what has to be an uncomfortable position. 

When the ringing stopped, you were still half asleep so you started to fall back asleep, that was until it started up again. 

Groaning, you pushed up and leaned across Spence’s still asleep body to reach for your phone. 

“Hello?” you answer groggily, your voice filled with sleep. 

“Y/n? Hey, are you and Spence still coming to watch the boys?” JJ’s voice filters through the phone speaker. 

Your eyes widen at her words, pulling the phone from your ear you check the time, which read 11:24 am, you didn’t realize you fell asleep for so long. Or at all for that matter.  

“Yes!” you tell her, starting to shake Spencer awake.

You didn’t have to shake Spencer too much, he woke up quickly looking at you with sleep filled, crusty eyes. He woke up more, and flung himself out of bed quickly to start getting dressed when you pointed to the phone that was still against your ear and mouthed ‘JJ’. 

“JJ, I’m so sorry, we must have fallen back to sleep. We’ll be there soon,” you tell her, quickly getting out of bed and rooting around in your dresser for clothes. 

“Ok, don’t rush, and drive safe. See you when you guys get here,” she told you before you both said bye and hung up the phone. 

You quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a t- shirt before making your way to the bathroom. Spencer came out as you went in, dressed in a pair of black pants with a dress shirt tucked into them, and cardigan over top. 

 He looked good, really good. 

But you can’t think of that right now, so you busy yourself with brushing your teeth and hair before you just decide to pull it back into a ponytail. 

After you do everything you need to do in the bathroom, you make your way to the kitchen where Spencer has made you a to go coffee and some toast. 

“You're the best, bub,” you tell him, leaning up to place a kiss on his lips. He smiles into the kiss, pecking you a few times before pulling back. 

“Come on, we gotta go,” he tells you, grabbing his messenger bag and the car keys before holding the apartment door open for you. 

“Ah, thank you kind, sir. Such a gentleman,” you tease, walking out the door after grabbing your own bag. 

He shakes his head in amusement, “you’re such a goof,” he chuckles, intertwining his fingers with yours. 

You smile up at him, “but I’m your goof.” 

The ride to JJ’s house isn’t long, and surprisingly there wasn’t much traffic for a saturday at noon. 

You had just knocked on the door when it quickly jerked open and a small voice shouted “Uncle Spencer!” before your boyfriend was attacked in a tight hug by his godson. 

You chuckle at Spencer’s surprised face, walking into the house of your coworker and best friend. You find her in the kitchen, cleaning Michaels face of remnants of his messy breakfast. 

“Aunt Y/n!” his small voice calls when he sees you walk in. 

“Hi, little man! Are you ready for a fun day?” you ask, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

“Hey, how are you?” JJ asks, pulling you into a hug. 

“I’m good! are you ready for your day away?” you ask, hugging her back. Her and Will don’t get much time by themselves, so on the rare occasion that the whole team has a day or two off they try to take a few hours for themselves. 

Normally they’d have a babysitter, but their normal girl had a shift at her other job so they called you and Spence, who were happy to spend time with your nephews. 

 “Very, we're probably just gonna get lunch then shop for henry’s birthday present,” her voice turns into a whisper as you both notice Spencer and Henry walk into the kitchen. 

You nod at her words, “sounds good, take you guys’ time. I’m gonna enjoy some cuddles from my favorite little men,” you say picking Michael up and tickling his small tummy. Which pulled tiny giggles from him. 

You and Spencer spent all day with the boys, watching movies and playing with lego’s, Spencer even read with Henry for a little while before you put Michael down for a nap. Henry even fell asleep for a while when watching a movie. 

It was so cute, his head was leaning on Spence’s arm, his cheek was squished up and he looked so cute. 

Now it’s past 9pm and you both are getting ready for bed. JJ and Will came home around 7pm with dinner so you stayed and ate with them before heading home. 

Getting into bed after being in the bathroom, Spencer is reading a book as he leans against the headboard. You kiss his cheek before laying down and getting comfortable. 

He puts his book down on the side table, and turns your way as he lays down too,”today was good, I love spending time with them,” he tells you. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer. 

You nod,”I do too, I can’t wait for that someday.” 

He smiles softly as your hand cups his cheek, your thumb stroking softly, “are you telling me you want kids?” he teases, nudging his nose with yours. 

You giggle, “no, well, someday. Not right now though, I don’t want to share you just yet,” you tell him. 

You had been together for almost two years now, and you couldn’t be more in love with him. But something in you, even if it’s a selfish part of you, doesn’t want to share him just yet. You want him to yourself for a little longer. 

You're ok with being an aunt for right now. 

Of course you had talked about kids before, but it was just if you wanted them. Which you do, you both do. 

“I don’t want to share you yet either,” he tells you. He pecks your lips softly before resting his forehead on yours. 

“I love you, bub,” you whisper, tangling your legs with his to get impossibly closer. 

“I love you, Y/n. so much,” he mumbles, leaning down and capturing your lips in a soft, gentle kiss. 

Spending all day and night with someone would cause a rift for anyone else. But not for you and Spencer. 

Getting to wake up, and fall asleep in his arms. It makes you appreciate him even more, you could lose him at any time in your line of work. Yet when you're in his arms, and you can hear and feel his heartbeat,it feels like time stops and you and him are the only people in the world. 

Being in his arms makes you appreciate life so much more than you could ever imagine. Knowing you could lose him at a snap of a finger, that anything could happen and you’d never be able to see him again. 

Well that’s why, Day and Night, is the best part of your day.

//

Feedback is highly appreciated!! Hope you enjoyed!! 🥰💗

[bird-on-a-wire20]

morning sex

Here's the thing. You don't stay overnight. It's just a rule you've had for yourself for the last decade. So when you wake up, panicked because you don't recognize the wallpaper or the feel of the sheets beneath you or...the absolute mass of warm man-flesh next to you, one muscular arm laid over your stomach, that you're not quite sure what to do with yourself. 

Even if you could heave yourself out from under the deadweight of this arm that feels like it's the size of a small maple tree, you don't remember where you dropped your clothes, or your shoes, or fuck, even your purse. This is why you don't do overnights because morning is where the panic sets in. The regret of another night filled with a decent fuck, a well-intentioned lover, and one more story for the novel you'll write when you turn 80. But regret all the same. It's not the sex you regret - no, that's always been relatively good, though last night was the exception, to be sure. The hazy memories of a string of orgasms beginning to form in your mind. 

You shut your eyes, focus on your breathing (hard to do with said tree limb across you, but you manage), shut down the panic and the regret, and try to form an escape plan. 

And then he kisses the back of your neck like this is any typical fucking Sunday morning, pulling you back into his embrace, one broad palm resting on your chest, his forearm resting half on and half between your breasts. 

Here's the other thing that comes in the morning. The fact that despite all your suave efforts and most charming acts the night before, you have absolutely no fucking chill. And who would, when they fucked Henry Cavill for most of the night, and possibly again early this morning (you weren't looking at the clock, so it's a guess). 

"Morning," he murmurs, another kiss against the back of your neck, his face nuzzling against your hairline. 

"...howdy…" you say, and then immediately cringe, because what the fuck is wrong with you? 

There is a moment of stillness between you both. You're hoping he didn't hear you, and him probably wondering how the hell he can find his phone to get his handler to dispose of you. But then he laughs, and you can feel his body shake against yours for a moment before he turns you in his arms, so you're facing him. 

God, he looks gorgeous. Even with bed head, his stray curls going in a multitude of directions, and a day's worth of stubble, he looks good.

"I can hear your brain working in overdrive, Plum," Henry says, and he reaches one of those large, broad hands up to your face, cupping your cheek and your jaw and half your head basically, with just the span of his hand. "Relax." 

"I'm not very good at mornings," you admit, honestly. Giving a small half-shrug like that can explain all of your weirdness. "Normally, I...leave before the sun comes up." 

Henry smiles softly at you, the dimple on his cheek appearing before he leans in and kisses you. It's softer and sweeter than the night before, and you feel yourself melting into it, one hand sliding up his chest, his chest hair soft and sparse beneath your palm, the other cupping his jaw.  

12 hours ago, you'd been all but ravenous for one another. You'd barely made it up the elevator and into his room before he'd slammed you against the inside of the door. Your panties had ended up somewhere, and he'd dropped to his knees in front of you, lifting one of your legs over his shoulder as his mouth descended between your legs. 

The kiss ends slowly, and you're almost reluctant to pull your mouth away, but eventually, you do, and you meet his slate blue-grey eyes. 

"Hi," you say, cheeks turning a little pink, but you're starting to feel less awkward, a little more at ease, a little more confident in the fact that in the warm hazy glow of morning, he still wants you. 

"Better?" he asks, and you nod, letting out a little sigh as you feel his other hand slide along your side, squeezing your hip and pulling your thigh up over his. It's then that you remember you're still incredibly naked, and that movement puts you closer to him, to the thick, ready, length of him. 

"Much," you whisper, closing the minute distance between you, the steady thump-thump of your heart beating in your chest in time to a similar aching throb in your clit. You're tender and swollen from the night before but fuck if your body doesn't respond to him in a way it hasn't with other less fortunate lovers. 

"Mmm, rock your hips, Plum. Let me feel you." His already low voice still carries the rasp of the morning, and the urgency of his request does things to you. And by that, you definitely mean you absolutely grind yourself against his dick, biting your bottom lip as the head of his cock bumps up and over your clit. 

"Fuck," you say, trying to find traction on the mattress as you writhe against him. "I just need…" The words catch and disappear in your mouth as he heaves you up and over him, seating you right where you both want it. The new angle gives you the traction you were looking for, and you can't help but buck against him, over him. "Shit...yes…yes." 

He watches you, thoroughly amused, his hands resting on your hips, before moving them to slide up and down your thighs, all the time his breath coming in short spurts as he tries to keep some semblance of control. 

You realized early on in last night's rendezvous that Henry is an incredibly tactile person. You'd expressed interest last night, and there had been no going back. He'd been quick to get his hands on you, a soft palm at your back as he led you out of the restaurant or the harsh grip of his thumb and forefinger on your chin/jaw when he'd finally kissed you properly, right there in the elevator, between floors 15 and 16.

"I'm already close," you sigh on a ragged breath, your palms flat against his chest, your hips moving almost violently in their desire to chase your impending orgasm. 

"Not yet," Henry says. "I want to taste you again." His hands-on your thighs tighten, stopping you from moving.

"But…" you begin. 

"That too if you're a good girl," he says with a smirk, and you roll your eyes, which lands you a tight hard swat across one ass cheek. 

You're about to admonish him, but he's already pulling you up toward him and sliding down. Then suddenly, you're rocking forward to grip the headboard as you find yourself unsteadily kneeling over Henry's face. 

His breath is hot against you, and he teases you with kisses on the insides of your thighs, his stubble scratching pleasantly against your skin. You jump slightly when you feel the hot slide of his tongue along the delicate skin between your thigh and your pussy. 

You can feel him shift slightly, his thumbs sliding over you, parting you to finally press his mouth over your clit.

"Henry…." You drag out the last syllable of his name, your voice keening high as he swipes his tongue over you. Soft and slow, alternating with a hungrier, needier want, sucking your clit until you reach down and sink your fingers into his curls. Your fingers curl around the soft strands as you hold his head still and grind yourself down against him and finally, almost painfully, tip over the edge. 

You're hardly aware of him moving as you let yourself collapse back on the mattress, your body still recovering as he slips back into the bed behind you. He's slipped on a condom, and he takes his time, teasing your already tender flesh before fitting the fat head of his dick at your entrance.  

"Good?" He asks, his mouth against the shell of your ear. 

"Mmhmm," you mumble because it's all you can coherently think right now because despite having just orgasmed, your body is aching for him, needing to feel as full as you did when he took you for the first time last night. When you came riding the very precipice of pain and pleasure. 

He takes it slow, knows he's worked you over more times than either of you are accustomed to, but you don't know the next time your schedules will align, and hell if you're not going to make the absolute most of this 24 hours. 

"Fuck," he growls, and you can tell he's trying to hold back. "Feel so fucking good. You like this?"

"Yes, god, yes," you answer. You reach up to hold his shoulder, anchoring yourself as he starts to move fast, his thrusts becoming less measured, a staccato of movements until he presses you deep into the mattress with a loud groan. 

Soon you'll have to move, find your clothes, and get dressed. Still, for now, you're content to lie absolutely embraced by this gorgeous man, who smells like wood and leather, and the potential for another round of questionable yet satisfying decisions. 

[kitdkat]

Stranger Things Theorys

Disclaimer I have no idea if someone said this already.

I predict they will reveal two things in Season 5.

Will is the Dungeon Master (DM). In Season 4, Nancy learned that the Upside-down is stuck in the past. Well in her diary it was the exact same date when Will, disappeared, November 6, 1983. Throughout the series, we have never seen the Upside-down before Barb's death scene with a Demogorgon. In season 4, we get a glimpse of the Upside-down in the flashback of Victor Creel being exiled by Eleven. Which was empty. Will is an artist kid whose last memory before disappearing was DnD. He probably has the power to change the place to his liking. The place was scary so he changed it into his home. A DM is a person who creates the maps for the players and gives them their quests. DnD is a game where groups of people work together into parties and deal with whatever the DM gives them. Well, Will is the person who brought them together into parties each with their own side quests. Then each season ends in an epic battle. Will's character was always downplayed throughout the season only in Season 5 will see his full potential.

Eleven is Vecna's daughter ( I heard this theory before but, here are my two cents.) Eleven was born in 1971. Henry was a 12yr old in 1959, which would make him 24 when Eleven was born. Aimee on the other hand was 21. (I know that her sister said the father was Andrew but like she knows half the truth so she might be wrong.) Whilst in the experiment she might have had a fling or Brenner did IVF on her. She got pregnant and then left. Here is why I think number 1 is the father. When they were training the other children, Henry only went to Eleven. He knows her potential to be really strong. How would he know? Because he knows he is the father of the girl that looks like Aimee. Henry has so much power already what happens if you pass down it through genetics. It could possibly double the powers. Number 1 also seems to care for Eleven because of how he killed the people who hurt her with great malice. Literally, none of these kids would have been able to hurt him even if they grew up. I am pretty sure it would have only been El. Though he didn't kill her at first, which would mean the motive would not be to protect him but Eleven. Henry really wanted her to hate everyone and see just evil just like him. The thing was I believe she takes her mother's heart. Eleven was probably taken by Brenner, knowing how strong the power of a child who was born of two powerful people.

[thespamman24]

Presidents Ranked By Their Chances of Beating Bruce Willis in a Game of Monopoly

All of the U.S. presidents are ranked worst to best in their chances of beating Bruce Willis in a game of Monopoly.

46. James Monroe

Over before it starts. It’s not even a question. Bruce Willis would squish James Monroe between his fingers.

45. Zachary Taylor

He would probably quit after 2 minutes.

44. Grover Cleveland

The guy hated Monopolies so he would probably scream and forfeit.

43. Warren G. Harding

Fun fact! Warren G. Harding would give his penis nicknames, and the type of man who would do that is not the type of man who would win a game of monopoly

42. John Tyler

No.

41. William Howard Taft

Taft is much to weak.

40. George W. Bush

Bruce Willis would wipe the floor with George W. Bush. It wouldn’t even be close.

39. Millard Fillmore

Millard Fillmore would be to distracted by Bruce Willis’s shiny head to win.

38. James Buchanan

James Buchanan would be to distracted by Bruce Willis’s ravaging good looks to win.

37. Donald Trump

Donald is a business man, but he’s an awful business man.

38. Andrew Jackson

Andrew Jackson does not have the patience or the temperment to win a game against monopoly against anyone, let alone Bruce Willis,

37. James Madison

James Madison is the first president who at least has a chance, but he would probably be really intimidated by Bruce Willis and his height. James Madison was very easily intimidated.

36. Richard Nixon

Would try to cheat and fail.

35. Ulysses S. Grant

Dude was a general. If it was Risk, then sure. But not Monopoly.

34. Gerald Ford

Bruce Willis being bald would remind Gerald Ford that he is indeed bald which would make him sad. this would make it easier for Bruce Willis to win.

33. Franklin Pierce

If you know anything about Franklin Pierce, it’s that his odds at beating Bruce Willis in a game of Monopoly are low.

32. Teddy Roosevelt

Once again, not very patient.

31. William Henry Harrison

He would probably die before the game finished, but if he didn’t he would have a chance.

30. Lyndon B. Johnson 

Nah.

29. Chester A. Arthur

Nah.

28. Martin Van Buren

Nah.

27. Woodrow Wilson

His chances are raised do to the fact that he was a nerd, but that’s it.

26. Andrew Johnson

Andrew Johnson was a little piss boy so his chances are not great.

25. Herbert Hoover

Finally, someone who could actually give Bruce Willis a fight. This one would be close.

24. Joe Biden

Joe Biden is the current sitting president of the united states, so Bruce Willis would probably not go that hard on.

23. George Washington

Similar to Joe Biden, old George was kind of intimidating.

22. James Garfield

His last name was Garfield, which gives him an advantage against Bruce Willis. However, Bruce Willis does still have his skills about him so this one is basically evenly matched.

21. Herbert Hoover

Eh, it’s basically 50/50 with this one.

20. Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan was an awful person and president. Unfortunately, he was also an actor which would evens the playing field between him and Bruce. How? I don’t know. Them’s the rules. If two actors play Monopoly together then it’ evenly matched.

19. George Washington

Oh crap why is he here again. Who the hell did I miss on this list.

18.  Benjamin Harrison

His nickname was “the human iceberg”. I think you can see why that would help him defeat Bruce.

17. William Mckinley

Stare into the eyebrows of William Mckinley and tell me he wouldn’t be great at monopoly.

16. Rutherford B. Hayes

Idk man, who cares about Rutherford. His chances would not be high if it was against someone other than Bruce Willis

15. Grover Cleveland

Grover Cleveland served two terms so he would have to go twice. This would confuse Bruce Willis enough for Grover Cleveland to get the upper hand.

14.George H.W. Bush

He did do business stuff, so yeah.

13. Calvin Coolidge

“You lose”

12. Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton could probably win by using intimidation tactics.

12 again.

I just realized the guy I forgot was John Kennedy. He would be very good because his good looks and presence would distract Bruce and remind him of his former self. This would give Kennedy a strong upper hand.

11. Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson did have his wits about him but he was also a dick and a prick so he would go into this game to arrogantly. This prevents him from taking the 10th spot.

10. Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter is like if a cashmere sweater came to life. And in the battle between a cashmere sweater and Bruce Willis, Bruce Willis is surely out numbered.

9. John Adams

The guy reportedly had an awful personality, wich means that he would be fantastic against Bruce Willis.

8. John Quincy Adams

Like father, like son.

6. Dwight Eisenhower

His bald head would intimidate Bruce Willis.

5.Harry Truman

His bald head and nice glasses would intimidate Bruce Willis.

4. Barack Obama

Bruce Willis would probably lose the game on purpose.

3. John F. Kennedy

Goddamnit. I don’t know man, who the hell am I missing!

2. Abraham Lincoln

Abe was smart and also very tall. He would wipe the floor with Bruce Willis.

1. Franklin Roosevelt

Every fact about Franklin makes me think he would be astounding against Bruce Willis.

If someone could tell me who I missed then I will tell you the true meaning of life. Other then the ones I missed, this list is 100% accurate, bye.

[violetwolfraven]

Modern!Wormsies Headcanons because I’m terrified wormsies is going to die before 2021 gets here

Tw for mild horror. I don’t think this is that bad but read at your own risk. I don’t l know why I created it I just felt compelled to but don’t read it unless you’re as insane as I am and are fully prepared to read the most cursed thing I have ever created. Seriously. This is by far the most cursed thing I have ever written. Good luck. 💜

So anyway they’re not selling to survive obviously since it’s modern au.

In my modern au they’re all theatre nerds cause why not.

So they’re backstage one day and Race finds this blue thing behind an old set that has probably been there for several years.

Lo and behold, it is a worm on a string.

And Race is kinda weirded out and wondering who left it there but he’s like aight guess I’m keeping this thing.

He ties it to a strap on his backpack and forgets about it for the rest of rehearsal.

Then Romeo (one of Race’s 3 adoptive brothers, the others being Jack and Crutchie) notices it and f l i p s o u t.

Romeo drags over Specs and Jack and Crutchie to show them the worm Race found and they’re all like omg this is the best thing we’ve ever seen.

Race is still kinda confused but like hey whatever this might as well happen and he just figures if his brothers and his little brother’s boyfriend are gonna obsess over worms, why not join in?

They all get worms somehow. Romeo gets a green one, Specs gets a purple one, Jack gets a dark blue one, and Crutchie gets a yellow one.

When they all show up to rehearsal a few days later with worms, a few others pick up on it and are like lmao let’s join in on the insanity.

So anyway Albert gets a red one, Smalls gets a green one, Mike gets a purple one, Ike gets a yellow one cause it’s the opposite of purple, and Elmer gets a green one.

All the others are all kinda just whatever do what you want don’t involve us in your insanity.

BUT THEN

Over the course of the next couple weeks, only a couple more people join in on getting worms.

Sniper gets a purple one and Finch gets an orange one.

But what’s strange is that everybody starts noticing...

The kids with worms pick up choreography...

Faster and Better...

Than the kids without worms...

They’re stretchier and more agile...

...almost like..?

Almost like...

They...

don’t...

have...

spines..?

They wiggle just like their worms wiggle wiggle wiggle.

And Specs is the most logical of the ones with worms but even he fully believes his worm gives him special powers.

They spend their snack breaks talking about this and a few more people decide to get in on it.

Jojo gets a yellow one, Mush gets a dark blue one, and Blink gets a light blue one.

Davey, Spot, and Katherine still refuse to believe in this.

Sarah got a pink worm and they were all terribly disappointed in her.

But anyway they hold out their lack of belief despite how the kids with worms continue to perform better in dance numbers than the few left without.

Kenny caves and gets a dark blue one somewhere in here.

There are now a lot more kids with worms than kids without and the holidays are rolling around.

Ike gets Hotshot a red worm and Hotshot in turn gets red worms for all his crowd on the stage crew (Bart, Rafaela, Joey, Hildy, York, and Vince).

Hell, even the crew kids perform better with worms, it turns out.

Cause they can run fast to get places they need to be and squeeze through spaces they shouldn’t be able to squeeze through.

But anyway Katherine and Davey and Spot are starting to get a little creeped out.

Cause their friends and partners are starting to act more and more like they’re in a cult, even more than the cult that they’re already in (the drama club).

They pretend their worms have fucking personalities and make tiny hats for them and stuff.

And the ones left without worms are dropping like flies and getting assimilated to the other side.

Buttons gets a light blue one, Tommy Boy gets a pink one, Henry gets an orange one, and

And Sarah gets Les a green worm.

That’s kinda the last straw for Davey.

He fucking waits until his siblings are asleep and he throws their worms in the trash.

But mysteriously

They both have their worms back in time for rehearsal.

And Davey gets home that night and there’s a light blue worm waiting on his pillow.

He throws it away but it’s tied to his backpack strap the next day.

He flushes it down the toilet and it shows up in his favorite hoodie pocket.

He tells Katherine and Spot, super freaked out, but they don’t really believe him cause there’s no such thing as magic worms... right?

Then Katherine finds a purple worm on the seat she usually sits in during breaks.

She’s moderately creeped out so she leaves it there and goes to a different seat but the next break the worm is on that seat.

She can’t remember seeing anyone move it.

Meanwhile Spot is making out with Race behind a curtain (obviously) and Race

Race fucking pulls a red worm out of his sleeve like a scarf trick and gives it to him.

Spot is super weirded out by this and wants to just throw the dumb thing away the minute he and Race are done making out, but he just...

He can’t.

He can’t get rid of the worm, so he ties it to his backpack.

Katherine and Davey are mildly horrified that Spot has given in and won’t give up his worm even though you’re encouraging their cult-like behavior, Spot, come on.

Spot insists that he could throw away his worm if he wanted to, he just... doesn’t want to. And besides, he can keep up with the others on theatre stuff now, so why would he?

So Kath and Davey are

The

Last

Ones

Left

Without worms.

Davey’s worm is still following him around but he refuses to give in and he always gets rid of it as soon as he finds it but it always pops up again.

Katherine’s shows up less frequently, but it starts getting more and more frequent and she starts getting more and more freaked out as one night, she goes into her room and that fucking purple worm is on her pillow.

None of her friends have been to her house in the last 24 hours so this development is fucking terrifying.

She calls Davey and flips out on the phone to him about it and he’s trying to calm her down but Sarah ends up stealing his phone after a few minutes because she’s my girlfriend, Davey, not yours.

When Davey gets the phone back, Katherine is significantly calmer. He asks her if she threw the worm away.

She

Didn’t

Throw the worm away.

She claims it’s fine, that they might as well give in, Davey, we’re the last ones left without worms, just out of stubbornness. And anyway our friends with worms are doing fine; look at your siblings if you need proof.

Sarah and Les are having a tea party with their worms and Davey is getting pretty scared at this point.

He’s the last one left without a worm, though that blue one still always seems to show up wherever he is.

Until

Opening night

Of

Their

Show

Afterwards everybody’s pumped up and ready to go to Applebee’s to celebrate and Davey is relieved because no one has mentioned worms in the last 24 hours or even really looked at the ones still tied to their backpacks.

He thinks maybe the others got bored with it and this thing is finally dying, especially since that damn light blue worm hasn’t showed up today either.

But then Davey is just sharing a nice coffee alone with Jack backstage (which he hasn’t done since the worm thing started because honestly his boyfriend was creeping him out).

Jack suddenly starts crying, and Davey’s all like hey what is it? Babe look at me what’s wrong?

And Jack just goes I’m sorry love I know it hurts now but it’s better in the long run trust me.

That’s when Elmer, Specs, Sarah, and Mush burst in behind them and grab Davey, shoving a bag over his head and dragging him somewhere.

When the bag is taken off of Davey’s head, he’s tied to a chair in the middle of a choir room that all his friends have somehow squeezed into.

They’re all holding their worms.

And Davey is like guys if this is an elaborate prank it wasn’t even that funny to begin with but now it is very very much not funny.

But Sarah just goes in a sad tone it’s not a prank Davey.

Les not looking like he’s trying not to laugh is what makes Davey believe it’s not a prank.

And Davey is legitimately terrified at this point because even Spot and Katherine are looking at him with a solemn kind of pity and when he asks them for help they just shake their heads and tell him everything will be okay.

He turns to Jack and is still clinging to that last little bit of hope that one of the people he loves might not have gone off the deep end.

That last little bit of hope that the boy he loves is still the boy I fell for. I know you’re still in there so please just untie me Jackie.

Jack looks like he’s trying not to cry but he doesn’t move.

Instead he says I love you Davey. It’ll all be over soon.

Do it, Race.

Race steps forward and Davey just about has a heart attack because

He’s

Holding

That

Goddamn

Light blue

Worm

And he takes some rainbow duct tape out of his pocket and tapes it to Davey’s shirt.

And the others all start chanting one of us one of us one of us as Davey can practically feel the spine leave his body and travel to another dimension where there’s a man who collects them.

It turns out the others were right that he should just give in.

Now it’s time for them to get the rest of the school.

Edit: here is my attempt to justify myself for this. 💜