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just-come-baek · 6 years ago

Text

with friends like you, who needs enemies?

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. mentions of Jimin and his girlfriend

Word count: 11.1k

Summary: Setting up my friend with my roommate is one thing, but walking on them banging on my fancy couch is just… plainly wrong. Not only have they profaned my comfy piece of furniture, but also they’ve neglected our friendship. Completely forgotten, Jungkook and I start to hang out together, but after some time things become a bit too comfortable…

Warnings: overuse of cringe-worthy euphemisms for sex, lots of complaining, unprotected sex and so on;

***

Me | 22:43 | don’t you want to hang out with Jimin???

Me | 22:43 | I need him out of the house

It was my first time texting Jungkook. It felt weird, but it needed to be done. Ever since Jimin and Jiwoo started dating, they were bumping their uglies in Jimin’s room, and I was done with hearing their lewd moans.

These damned thin walls.

Jeon | 22:45 | what did he do this time?

I read Jungkook’s reply, and with my bottom lip puckered, I wondered what I should type so he wouldn’t think I was exaggerating. I couldn’t straight out ask him to call Jimin over to his place because the sex noises coming out of my roommate’s bedroom were louder than my film on the maximum volume.

Me | 22:46 | he’s porking Jiwoo

Jeon | 22:46 | HE’S DOING WHAT???

Jeon | 22:47 | oh, nvm

Jeon | 22:47 | just googled it

Me | 22:48 | yeah, they’ve been screwing everyday this week

Me | 22:48 | can you cockblock him?

Me | 22:48 | just this once

Me | 22:49 | please???

Jeon | 22:49 | can’t do

Of course, he wouldn’t do it! What had I expected? Jimin and Jungkook are best friends with their bro-code and what not, while Jungkook and I are mere acquaintances with maybe five hellos exchanged through the entirety of it.

Jeon | 22:51 | sorry, I’m gaming with Tae

Me | 22:53 | of course you do

I was a little bit angry when I wrote it, but I understood him. It wasn’t his problem to deal with, and if he were struggling with a similar kind of issue, I wouldn’t help him either. I’m the one who had agreed to share a flat with Jimin, and regardless of how much I regret it now, I’m the one who suggested them to go on that fucking date.

It was my first attempt at matchmaking anybody, and since it backfired so terribly, I was sure, it was also my last attempt.

Jeon | 22:52 | you can crash on my couch if they bother you so much

That was unexpected; Jungkook was showing me kindness, and I had no idea how to react. We had never hung out alone, and he was offering me a place to sleep. Admittedly, if he had such an annoying roommate, I’d let him suffer.

Thankfully, he was a good guy.

Jeon | 22:53 | I’m going to game all night but I still think they’re louder

Me | 22:54 | seriously?

Me | 22:55 | no take backs

Jeon | 22:55 | you remember where I live, right?

Jimin had taken me once to a small party at Jungkook’s, and though I couldn’t remember the building number, I knew how it looked like and how to get there. It would probably take me fifteen minutes of walk to reach it.

Me | 22:56 | sure

Me | 22:56 | thank you!

Me | 22:56 | I owe you one

***

Jungkook didn’t lie when he said he’d be quieter than Jimin and Jiwoo; when I entered his apartment, he just smiled and muttered make yourself at home, and with that, Jungkook was gone in his bedroom, gaming.

It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was weird – to be in his living room alone.

His flat was rather tidy and comfortable, and it was evident it belonged to a man. Lazily, I fished a book out of my bag; it was the second book of a shitty trilogy, and despite wanting to pull all my hair out whenever I flipped the page, I couldn’t stop reading it.

I started reading, but it was difficult without acceptable background noise. With my finger marking the page, I paused, stood up and marched toward Jungkook’s room. Having knocked, I pushed the doors slightly open, and asked, “Do you mind if I hang out here for a while? It’s still early, and I have a fucked-up sleeping schedule.”

Jungkook turned his head toward me and nodded. Smiling, I closed the doors behind me and lay down on his bed. He was sitting in his fancy gaming chair, and had an expensive-looking headset; it was evident he took his hobby very seriously.

“Are you having a girl over?” I heard, probably Taehyung, since he had mentioned his name earlier, say through Jungkook’s headphones since this boy apparently didn’t mind loud game sounds.

“It’s just Jimin’s roommate; Jimin and his girlfriend are shagging way too loud, so I let her stay at my place,” Jungkook explained, and I shrugged, returning to my book.

“She’s at your place? You should totally hook up with her,” Taehyung encouraged Jungkook, and I giggled, ignoring the indecent advice. We barely knew each other, and no matter how good Jungkook must be at sex, it wasn’t happening. Tempting – very tempting, but I wouldn’t let it happen. I didn’t need more drama at this point in my life.

“You better focus on the game or else I’m gonna let them kill you!” Jungkook yelled into the microphone, and Taehyung immediately stopped teasing him. Though I wasn’t sure, I presumed that Jungkook was a skilled player that no one fancied getting on his wrong side.

It was a calm night, yet a few annoyed groans still escaped his mouths whenever Jungkook’s team was losing. I wasn’t better at keeping my reactions at bay, especially when the lead character did something incredibly stupid, and I wished her boyfriend turned out to be a serial killer, obsessed with the idea to murder her.

“You know what? I’m done playing with you for tonight,” Jungkook barked when they lost another battle because of Taehyung. Angrily, he threw the headset on the desk, and running his fingers through his hair, he swiveled in his gaming chair, staring at me lying comfortably.

“It wasn’t your day, was it?” I asked though I was still focused on the book.

“It’s them,” Jungkook said, pointing at the computer behind him. “It wasn’t their day; I’m way too good to have bad episodes.” He explained, and I hummed, even though I didn’t care. No matter how Jungkook seemed to love gaming, it wasn’t my cup of tea, and I wasn’t going to pretend to enjoy it so he would like me. I was still polite enough to listen to whatever bothered him, though.

“Is it interesting?” Jungkook asked, tilting his head, mentioning the book in my hands.

“Oh God, no,” I sighed in relief as I slammed the novel close for dramatic purposes. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” I proposed, and Jungkook smiled casually.

“I’d drunk five energy drinks before you came here; I won’t fall asleep for at least two days, so a movie sounds pretty awesome.” Jungkook clarified, and I sat up, staring at him.

“Do you have anything in mind? I’m fine with whatever,” I said, smiling. As long as I hadn’t seen a film before, it should be alright.

“We can just look through my Netflix recommendations; there should be something interesting.” Jungkook proposed, and I nodded, following him to the living room. “Do you want anything to eat?” He asked politely, but before I answered him, he added, “I have only unhealthy snacks, though. I hope you don’t mind it.”

“There’s no such a thing like a healthy snack,” I remarked, sitting down on the couch, while Jungkook pranced to the kitchen to get us food. Within two minutes, he took a seat beside me and placed a large bag of chips and a six-pack of beer on the coffee table.

“So… how are the lovebirds?” Jungkook asked curiously, as he took a sip of the chilled beer.

“They’re good, maybe even too good for my liking,” I admitted honestly, looking at Jungkook who grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. “Jiwoo has her own flat; I have no idea why they keep hitting skins in Jimin’s room. I was the one who set them up! I swear they’re trying to spite me!” I ranted on, and Jungkook chuckled while looking for a catching movie title.

“They've probably forgotten you exist. Do you know how many times Jimin came over here ever since their first date?” Jungkook asked, and I shook my head. Yes, Jimin’s my friend, but no, he doesn’t relate everything he does – for which I’m very thankful. “Zero.”

“Oh, it is nice knowing I’m not the only one left out,” I muttered.

“It doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Jungkook carried on, and I raised my head, looking at him, waiting for elaboration. “You finally can do whatever you want without getting disturbed. Spoil yourself before they start to cling to you again.”

In some odd way, he made sense. Jiwoo and Jimin were so busy rolling in the hay; I might as well use my free time to relax.

“I just might.”

***

The very next weekend, Jimin asked me if I minded him throwing a party at our apartment; it was their third week together, and they decided to celebrate it with their closest friends. What kind of anniversary even was that?

“As long as you’re the one tidying I don’t mind,” I snickered, trying to get something extra out of this situation. I was actually in a mood for a small gathering, but Jimin didn’t have to know that. “What do you say?”

“Ugh, fine,” Jimin gave in quickly, looking around the mess in the living room which was solely my creation. “What did I tell you about getting your shoes on the shoe-shelf? I’m not perfect, but you better put them there, or I’m gonna throw them away,” Jimin warned me, as he picked up my trainer and threw it across the room.

“I love you, too,” I cooed, smiling at Jimin who was cursing me under his breath. “Do you want me to cook anything?” I shouted before he disappeared into the confines of his room, dramatically slamming the doors.

Two hours later, he cooled down enough to hold a conversation with me, and although he said I didn’t have to cook anything, he gave me a long-ass shopping list. He didn’t want me around when he was cleaning up because he knew I’d make another mess, so sending me to the supermarket was the only reasonable option left.

“I told them to bring booze, so don’t but too much alcohol,” Jimin told me, as he handed me some cash which should cover most of the costs.

“Don’t worry, I’m really good at shopping,” I assured him before I put the money in my wallet. “Have I ever failed you?”

“Only today you’ve failed me like four times,” Jimin stated straightforwardly, and I wanted to jab him in the eye with a pencil for giving me that attitude. “And it’s barely noon!”

“Wow,” I said, sounding a tad bit overdramatic. “You did not say that!”

“I did yes,” Jimin retorted, and I refrained myself from harming him regardless of how much pleasure it would bring me. “And now get going, don’t hurry.”

***

Though I could invite my friends, no one could make it on such short notice. Well… except for Jiwoo, but she was too busy making out with Jimin to keep me company. I was still convinced I’d have a great time, though. I knew Jimin’s friends, and since he had better things to do than mingling with his guests, I took the role of the host on myself.

“Hi, what’s up?” I asked as soon as I approached Taehyung and Jungkook who were enthusiastically chatting with each other. Probably about that game which they had been playing the last time; I understood none of their jabber, so it must’ve been it.

“It’s cool, but I still don’t get it; they’ve been dating for three weeks. What kind of anniversary is that?” Jungkook whined, and I giggled, hearing my previous thoughts leave his mouth. Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one wondering about it.

“My words exactly,” I exclaimed, interjecting him. “Do you know any drinking games? I think it’s about time we play one.”

“What about most likely?” Taehyung proposed, and I looked at him curiously. I had never played that game, and I didn’t know the rules, so he had to explain it to me. “It’s quite easy, and hopefully, we can get drunk really quickly.”

One person asks a ‘most likely’ question, and then all players point at whoever seems most likely to do so. The person, who gets the maximum number of fingers pointing at them, drinks. It sounded easy, and when Taehyung explained it to me, Jungkook looked for more players to make it even more interesting.

At first, we started with easy questions, but after a couple of rounds, everyone got a bit competitive, and it became quite dirty. I wasn’t surprised, it was bound to happen. We all were college students, after all.

“Who would be most likely to have a threesome with twins?” Hoseok asked, and without thinking, I counted to three and pointed at him. Pretty much like everyone else. Hoseok was a fuckboy, and I was sure he had tried it before at least once.

“You know the rules,” Namjoon mocked Hoseok when the latter tried to bullshit his way out of his punishment. “Bottoms up!”

“Ugh, I hate you guys,” he complained but emptied his bottle anyway.

“Who would be most likely to give a shitty head?” Yoongi inquired, being another one in the queue. It wasn’t as easy as the previous question, but I only got three seconds to make up my mind, so I panicked, randomly pointing my finger at Jungkook.

“What are you guys playing?” Jiwoo asked as she approached our group, Jimin being right beside her. They were sickeningly in love, but eventually, they remembered they had guests. “You don’t mind if we play, do you?”

Taehyung quickly explained the rules for the fourth time this evening, and when they were filled in, Jiwoo was the first one to play.

“Who would be most likely to have sex in a public place?” She voiced, and without even counting, I pointed at Jimin. Maybe I hadn’t walked on them knocking boots yet, but I had a feeling neither of them would be expressly turned down by the prospect of hooking up in such circumstances. They were unquestionably too sex-crazed to care.

The game continued for another thirty minutes; it was fun, but Hoseok grossed everyone out before they managed to discover all my dirty secrets.

“You seriously think I give the worst head?” Jungkook straightforwardly asked when he caught me alone in the kitchen when I was getting another bottle of beer.

“I wouldn’t put that much thought to it if I were you,” I stated casually, hoping he would dismiss that subject. “Don’t take it personally, my choice was completely random.”

“I’m just messing with you,” Jungkook declared, and I chuckled as the alcohol started kicking in. I was feeling lightheaded, and whatever Jungkook said made me beam at him.

“Shame, I was about to lash out at you for choosing me as the most likely get pregnant with a one-night stand. I mean… what the fuck, Jeon?” I asked dramatically, but after three seconds of looking into his eyes, I cracked.

“Well… you were the only single girl playing with us, who should I pick?” Jungkook spoke defensively, and I shook my head, laughing. “I didn’t have a choice, did I?”

“You did not,” I answered, as I sat on the kitchen counter. “There’s a bag of shredded cheese in the fridge, do you mind handing me some?”

“Should’ve thought about your snack before you put that cute butt on the counter,” Jungkook snickered, as he opened the refrigerator only to get a chilled bottle of beer, completely ignoring my humble request.

“So you’re gonna be a mean friend,” I wondered out loud, swinging my legs from side to side. “I should’ve seen it coming.” I sighed, hoping I could shoot lasers with my eyes because Jungkook was being a dick.

“What about some shots instead?”

***

Though it was weird, I didn’t particularly hate their odd anniversaries. However, when Jiwoo forgot about the horror marathon, I seriously thought I was going to pour acid on her face for ditching me like that. The tickets were pretty pricey, yet she dared to stand me up one hour before the screening.

What a selfish bitch!

How dare she pick Jimin over me?

At first, I weighed the pros and cons of going alone, but then I decided to find a replacement; it’s not like Jiwoo was my only friend…

Maybe I had plenty of friends, but none of them were available at such a short notice. A friend in need is a friend indeed… such bullshit! Apparently, I was surrounded by fakes.

Sighing, I scrolled through my contact list looking for someone who would like to tag along. And then my thumb hovered above Jungkook’s name. We hadn’t talked since that party, and although it was so out of the blue to ask him to go to the movies with me, he seemed to be my last resort. He hadn’t let me down the last time, and I didn’t expect him to do it now.

Me | 20:46 | are you busy tonight?

Me | 20:47 | Jiwoo stood me up again

Jeon | 20:51 | oh… she did?

Me | 20:51 | yeah

Me | 20:51 | there’s a horror marathon tonight, and she canceled on me

Me | 20:51 | and the tickets are nonrefundable!

Me | 20:52 | they’re going to meet his parents

Me | 20:53 | can you believe it?

Jeon | 20:54 | wow

Jeon | 20:54 | at this pace they’re gonna marry in two months

Me | 20:55 | I guess

Me | 20:55 | what about the cinema?

Me | 20:55 | do you wanna go???

Me | 20:56 | I can go alone but that’d be lame

Jeon | 20:57 | it’s tonight?

Jeon | 20:57 | I was gonna hit the gym, but I guess I can skip once

Me | 20:57 | thanks!!!

Me | 20:58 | you’re the best!!!

***

��Do you want anything?” Jungkook asked me when we walked beside the cinema bar; the popcorn smelled delicious, and if I hadn’t eaten a large supper at home, my mouth would definitely water. “You don’t want me to give you money for the ticket, so the least I can do is buy you some snacks,” Jungkook argued, but I dismissed him.

“No, you don’t have to,” I assured him, as we sat in a vacant sofa in the lobby. “Jiwoo paid for her ticket, and she said I could do anything with it, so I’m treating you. You’re the only one who could make it anyway.” I explained, and Jungkook sighed, not knowing how to convince me to agree to his proposition. “Besides, I owe you for the last time,” I remembered, and Jungkook almost growled in irritation.

“But seriously, it’s just a cup of coke and a bucket of popcorn. It’s not a big deal,” Jungkook carried on, and I just rolled my eyes.

“But it’s so overpriced,” I reasoned, and Jungkook ran his hand through his hair in frustration, not knowing how to win this argument. I had a point, and what was wrong with me treating him? I owed him, so I was just paying my debt with no attempt to hurt his ego whatsoever.

“Ok, fine, so I’ll go over there and buy something for myself,” Jungkook announced before he walked off to stand in a line. “And if you happen to try to steal some later, I’m gonna smack that hand,” he warned me shouting from over his spot in the queue, making a dozen of heads turn, suddenly curious about our small quarrel.

Smiling, I got off the sofa, joining Jungkook by his side. I knew I was right, but Jungkook was so adorably stubborn, and I just had to give in. And the crowd which was pressuring me wasn’t making it any easier.

“Which popcorn do you want?” Jungkook asked me when it was finally our turn to order. “Personally, I prefer regular one, but if you like caramel one, I can make an exception.”

“I prefer regular one, too,” I answered casually, not wanting to order longer than necessary; the first movie was about to start in five minutes, and around ten people were still in the queue behind us. “So hurry up, we’re gonna miss all the commercials!”

“Ugh, fine, and what do you want to drink?” Jungkook asked, and I quickly said coke. “It wasn’t that difficult now, was it?” He added mockingly, handing me the bucket of popcorn.

Quickly, we found our seats.

Well… one double seat. I should’ve known better not to let Jiwoo buy the tickets. Even though she had Jimin to cuddle with, she wouldn’t miss a chance to sneak her arm around mine. And while I was used to Jiwoo being clingy, with Jungkook sitting next to me, it felt awkward. Thank God, I hadn’t seen the projected movies yet, so I was going to focus on the screen, and not the handsome man beside me.

The lights went out, and the eerie music began to play; I was excited, and I hoped for the first horror movie to be exciting and spooky. It was okay; it didn’t frighten me at all, and I predicted the ending correctly, but at least I laughed when someone in the audience shrieked at one of the jump-scares. The second one was much worse, though. Somehow through it, I fell asleep, only to be stirred awake by Jungkook during the third movie when my head slid on his shoulder.

“Sorry…” I whispered, rubbing my eyes, trying not to fall asleep again.

“It’s okay, you didn’t miss anything anyway,” Jungkook added, and I smiled, wrapping myself in my jacket warmly before I dozed off again.

***

The next time I messaged Jungkook wasn’t because I was annoyed with the lovebirds’ shenanigans; I really liked his company and frankly wanted to hang out with him. He was the only one within my circle of friends who had time to meet up. Among my friends, he was the only one I could actually rely on these days.

Me | 18:43 | what are you up to?

Jungkook didn’t disappoint; two minutes later I saw three little dots as he typed his reply.

Jeon | 18:46 | I was just about to leave for the gym

Jeon | 18:46 | what happened?

Jeon | 18:47 | are they bothering you again?

Me | 18:48 | Nah

Me | 18:48 | I’m bored

Jeon | 18:49 | oh

Me | 18:50 | we could go together to the public gym...

Jeon | 18:51 | but they’re shit!

Jeon | 18:51 | and only old people exercise there!

Me | 18:52 | please???

Me | 18:52 | I’m really bored

Jeon | 18:53 | ughhhhh

Jeon | 18:54 | meet you there in 20

***

“You have to warm up first,” Jungkook announced when I was about to start my workout. “How about doing two laps around the park?” He proposed, and I rolled my eyes, thinking it wasn’t that great idea to join him on his training.

“Are you serious? It’s not a warm-up, you’re trying to kill me,” I whined, having no intention of running. “When I said I’d join you, I meant that I would laze around beside you when you work out, and not actually working out myself, you know…”

Jungkook tongued his cheek, glancing at me from head to toe. “If you’re going to laze around, you’ll never get rid of those spaghetti legs, you know…” he mocked, and I gritted my teeth, staring at him angrily.

“You did not say that,” I spoke slowly, and Jungkook just shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh, I did,” he replied, and if I didn’t hate running so much, I would sprint toward him and smack that smirk off his face. “A little bit of sport won’t do you any harm.”

“You could cut me some slack, it’s my first attempt of exercising in months,” I reasoned, hoping he would understand me. “Besides, I don’t want to be ripped like you,” I added, and then an idea popped into my mind. “How about you run those two laps and I’ll time you?”

“Or maybe we should bet?”

“What are you thinking about?”

“If you run one lap faster than I run two, you win, and I treat you to some ice-cream later,” Jungkook explained, and I tried my best not to smile mischievously. Sure, I hadn’t done sports in a while, but back in the day, I had been a rather fast runner. Maybe, I was a little out of shape right now, but I couldn’t be that bad to lose this bet.

“I’m not sure…” I trailed on dubiously.

“Come on, don’t be a chicken,” Jungkook egged on, and I gave in without further complaining. “I knew you wouldn’t back out of a challenge.”

“What can I say? I’m competitive, just like you.”

Having sealed the bet with a firm hand-shake, we established the finishing line. It was a long distance, but Jungkook had no chance running two laps faster than I did one. Perhaps, I’d lose one lung during the run, but it was the risk I was willing to take if that meant free ice-cream.

“Good luck,” Jungkook said, winking at me before he took off at his maximum speed. Shaking my head, I sprinted as fast as I could, even though I knew he wouldn’t outpace me.

My legs were hurting, my breath was shallow, and I could feel the blood taste in my mouth. I was definitely out of shape, but the finishing line was within now 100 meters, and Jungkook was still way behind me.

“Oh shit,” I looked over my shoulder and saw Jungkook who was running like his life depended on it. He didn’t seem to tire at all, so I sped, using the last bits of energy.

The second I ran through the finishing line, I almost collapsed on the ground as my legs felt like noodles which weren’t able to support my weight. Panting, I sat on the grass and leaned in, having my head between my knees as I gasped for air.

“Okay, you won this one,” Jungkook muttered, breathing heavily. “And I hope you’ve warmed up for the rest of the training.” He stretched his arm, helping me to stand up.

“I have enough of this training already,” I complained as I followed behind him.

“Fine, I won’t torture you today; let’s just get ice-cream.”

***

It has been almost two months since the first time I initiated contact with Jungkook in order to keep my mind off Jimin and Jiwoo’s antics. Ever since then, Jungkook and I became very tight, and at some point, I considered him a better friend that Jiwoo or Jimin have ever been. At least, he was flexible enough to meet up with me when I really needed someone. Out of all of my friends, Jungkook proved himself to be the only one I could always rely on.

Without any hesitation, I could call him my best friend.

Usually, it was me who initiated contact, but this time, it was Jungkook who reached out to me, asking me if I had any plans for tonight. I had three exams on Monday, but I still had two spare days to study, so I asked him what he had on mind.

Me | 17:41 | What are you planning?

Jeon | 17:42 | Nothing much… I’m just bored

Jeon | 17:42 | I thought about a movie marathon

Jeon | 17:42 | What do you say???

Jeon | 17:42 | I have snacks

Having hung out with me, Jungkook already knew what to say to pique my interest.

Me | 17:43 | Ok, I’m interested

Me | 17:43 | What are we watching tonight?

Jeon | 17:44 | I don’t know…

Jeon | 17:44 | maybe some action movies?

Me | 17:45 | sounds good

Me | 17:45 | I’ll be over at your place in 30

Jeon | 17:45 | OK, I’m waiting

Quickly, I put my phone away, quickly getting ready to leave. I took my books out of my purse and packed some clothes to sleep in, cosmetics for washing off my make-up before sleep and an extra bottle of plum wine in case we would run out of alcohol.

Within ten minutes, I was ready to leave. Quietly, I exited my room, and then, screamed in shock when Jimin scared the shit out of me. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked as I pressed my hand against my chest, trying to calm down my beating heart. What was he doing inside the house? What was he doing without Jiwoo? They were attached to the hip – ever since they started going out, I have never seen them separately. Did they have a fight? Did they break up? What the hell was going on?

“Where are you going?” Jimin asked me as he sat up. Staring at me, and then at my bag, he furrowed his eyebrows, trying to figure out where I was headed. “So…” he waited for my answer, but I didn’t want to tell him about Jungkook, knowing he was going to tease me about it, and probably, even try to set me up with him. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind taking our friendship to another level, but if anything was going to stem from it, I wanted it to happen naturally, and not because friends in a relationship wanted me to be in a relationship, too. “Have you finally got yourself a boyfriend?”

I’d love to sneak out to see my boyfriend, but it wasn’t happening, so I only rolled my eyes at him. “What boyfriend? You know I’m not seeing anybody.” I answered honestly, and Jimin sighed, as he evidently wanted me to get laid. “But what is really weird; what are you doing here? Trouble in paradise?” I fired the question as I sat down beside him.

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Jimin quickly denied, and I nodded my head in acknowledgment, waiting for the explanation. Regardless of them forgetting about my existence, they were still my friends, and I cared about them. “Jiwoo’s mother has sent her to a dieting trip, and although I told them that she’s perfect and she doesn’t need to lose any more weight, they didn’t listen to me. She’s going to come back next week; until then, we can only text.”

“You will survive.”

“Of course, I’m going to survive, but I’d rather didn’t have to, you know,” Jimin trailed off, and then, I smiled, trying to disguise my disgusted reaction; they were so sickeningly in love, and I wanted to vomit whenever I witnessed the affection they were showering each other with. “So where are you going? Can I tag along? I need something to keep myself busy when Jiwoo can’t reply me.”

“Sorry, can’t do,” I quickly answered as I stood up and took my bag off the floor. “Lisa’s boyfriend of two years dumped her, and we’re going to console her. She likes you, but you’re too happy with Jiwoo to be any help to her.”

“Oh, I see,” Jimin said, a bit disappointed that he couldn’t accompany me. He understood that it wasn’t the best idea for him to go with me. Thankfully, he didn't inquire any further. “Tell her that this guy is a jerk. She deserves better, anyway.”

“Sure,” I answered, as I ran to the doors. In no time, I put my shoes on and threw my jacket over my shoulders. I told Jungkook that I'd see him in 30 minutes, and because of this chit-chat with Jimin, I was running a bit late.

***

“You’re late,” said Jungkook as soon as he opened the doors for me. I looked up, trying to apologize and explain that I was trying to blow Jimin off, but Jungkook just shrugged, smiling at me. “I’m just kidding. It’s no big deal. Come on in, I’m making cheese nachos.”

“Ooh… sounds tasty, I have never eaten cheese nachos,” I said, as I closed the doors behind me and took off my shoes.

“You can’t be serious! It’s impossible, everybody has eaten it at some point,” Jungkook spoke, very confused that I have never tasted it.

“There’s always a first time for everything,” I replied, as I followed behind him, sitting in a chair, inhaling the delicious smell of nachos. “So… what are we watching?”

“I don’t know; what about some Marvel movies?” Jungkook proposed, and I sighed, not convinced about his choice. He was a hardcore fan, so he was probably trying to force this hobby on me, too. Spiderman was kinda cute, but it wasn’t enough to convince me to start watching all of the movies from the superhero franchise.

“I don’t feel like it. Maybe some other time,” I trailed off, as I watched Jungkook prepare the nachos. It looked like a simple recipe, but I still appreciated the view in front of me and the effort he put into making it. Although it was actually inappropriate to have these kinds of thoughts about friends, I couldn’t help myself; Jungkook was a snack, but when he was bustling around the kitchen, he was just irresistible.

“OK, let’s go,” Jungkook spoke, pulling me out of my train of thought. Carefully, he carried the trey with nachos to the living room. “I’m actually fine with anything,” he said as he sat down on the couch, turning on his laptop.

It was difficult to pick anything. One of Jungkook’s friends, Namjoon, recommended him Friends to polish his English, and since I had seen the majority of episodes, I proposed to watch Criminal Minds. After what it felt like an hour, for the sake of the stiffing cheese, we decided to compromise – every two episodes of Friends, we were going to watch one of Criminal Minds, and since the duration was almost even, I complied.

“It is fun hanging out with you like that,” Jungkook said during the third episode of Criminal Minds. Currently, Spencer Reid was in the frame, and I was grinning like an idiot while munching on the rest of nachos. “I mean it; even when you fan-girl over that guy way too hard,” he joked, and I looked at him sternly, not liking his tone.

“Excuse you, but Spencer is a genius. He’s every girl’s favorite,” I remarked, and once again smiled when Spencer said something smart. “Besides, I can lust after whoever I want. I didn’t say anything when you fanboyed over Iron Man the last time.”

“It’s different,” Jungkook argued, and I giggled at his strange behavior. Having paused the video, I put the trey on the table and turned to look at him. “Besides, I’m way cooler than him, anyone would confirm that.”

“Yeah, right,” I snorted, shaking my head in disbelief. What was going on with him? Was he feeling insecure when compared to Spencer? Well… Spencer is a character, and Jungkook’s a real person, and I like him much more. “But seriously, you’re both great.”

“But I’m way more handsome,” Jungkook stubbornly claimed, and I agreed with him, knowing there was no point in arguing. Although it was a little arrogant of him, he was correct. Jungkook had his own charm, and it made him ridiculously attractive. “I was right,” Jungkook admitted, and I rolled my eyes at him, “although I have never caught you drooling over me, I’ve always known you liked me.”

“That’s not what I said,” I fought back, but Jungkook just smiled sheepishly, ignoring whatever I could say to defend my situation.

“Yeah, but you didn’t deny it,” Jungkook admitted smugly, and I smacked his thigh, urging him to stop embarrassing me. I came to watch something, not to get teased.

“Well… in that case,” I started, as I smiled at him and looked straight into his beautiful dark eyes. “You must like me too since you’re so curious about my feelings,” I said, and Jungkook looked away, a bit startled by my bold words. “Am I right, Jeon?”

“Maybe.”

***

After our conversation, we continued the marathon until it was four o’clock in the morning. Despite that we basically confessed to each other, nothing exciting happened; we carried on our marathon as if we didn’t just have that talk.

Not that I minded, though. I had no idea why it was possible, but it didn’t feel awkward at all.

Not even when we woke up in the afternoon cuddled on the couch. We probably should’ve discussed this unusual confession, but none of us felt like it. Nothing has changed, and everything seemed fine, so why should we change something that’s good?

The thing that we silently agreed on was giving each other some space. We didn’t part ways with an awkward hug or anything, but we didn’t reach one another throughout the rest of the week. And then, during another week, either, but I didn’t put that much thought to it. I was a pretty hectic week for me, and I suspected Jungkook to deal with similar problems.

Next Thursday, having done the groceries, I was on my way back home. It was past 9 o’clock, and I was tired after many hours of work, and right now, I couldn’t wait to reach the apartment, bake the damn pizza I had been craving the entire week, and doze off during another TV series.

When in front of the doors of my apartment, I put the grocery bag on the floor, as I sought for the keys in my bottomless purse. Quickly, I inserted the key and opened the doors only to shriek in disgust when I saw the scene occurring in front of my eyes.

Jimin was nailing Jiwoo on my fucking couch!

How could they? On my couch! That’s despicable! On my couch!

It was Thursday; she wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow! Fine, she was back, but couldn’t they have enough decency to Wam Bam Thank You Ma’am in his bedroom, or at least, give me a heads-up that they were going to defile my couch?

“What the fuck?” I hollered, as I closed my eyes, took a step backward, and slammed the doors shut. I saw them for 2 seconds tops, but Jimin still managed to flash his fucking dong in front of my innocent eyes.

Instantly, I grabbed the groceries and walked out of the apartment complex. The moment the fresh air hit my face, I pulled out my phone and dialed Jungkook’s number. Right now, he was the only one I could turn to, even after what happened the last time I saw him.

“Are you busy right now?” I asked Jungkook, not even bothering to greet him.

“Oh, hi. I’m fine. Thanks for asking,” Jungkook mused, and I rolled my eyes. “I’m waiting for Tae; we’re having a Marvel marathon tonight. Why? What happened?”

“Oh,” I hummed, “I’ll tell you when I get to you,” I stated before I hung up, not waiting for his approval. I had caught them humping on my couch – I was pissed, and I needed to distract myself. Needless to say, hanging out with Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t seem that bad.

They were great, it actually seemed dope.

Within fifteen minutes, I reached Jungkook’s apartment.

Quickly, Jungkook swung the doors open, and then I blurted, “I came back home only to catch Jiwoo getting boned on my fucking couch!”

“What?” Jungkook asked in confusion, but he took a step to the side, letting me in.

“I think I am traumatized right now,” I said lifelessly, as I sat on his couch, dropping my groceries by my feet. “You know what? This couch was very expensive, and they just… profaned it,” I spoke, not caring if Jungkook was listening to me. I just had to get it out of my system. “How could they? On my couch!”

Jungkook sat beside me, as I stared blankly at nothing in particular.

“I came back home after doing shopping, and then I caught them fornicating on my cute couch. And I’m pretty sure I made eye-contact with Jimin’s dick. The worst two seconds of my life. Jungkook, do you have bleach?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jungkook reprimanded me, but I casually wrapped my arms around his neck, not even asking if he minded being my shoulder to cry on. Maybe I was being a bit overdramatic, but how was I going to face Jimin after seeing him in his birthday suit?

“Are you hungry?” I asked as soon as I pulled away, jumping on my feet. Usually, hard work kept me occupied, and right now, cooking seemed to be the only activity I could engage myself in. “I was going to bake pizza, I have all the needed ingredients,” I announced, picking up the grocery bag, moving toward his tiny kitchen.

“Do you need any help?” Jungkook offered, sitting by the kitchen island, watching me rummage around the kitchen.

“You can shred the cheese,” I told him, giving him one of the simplest tasks.

Jungkook turned on the radio, and we cooked in peace, talking about everything and nothing. He knew that I had to be kept busy, and he helped me. And I really appreciated it.

“When is Tae going to be here?” I inquired when I unpacked the groceries.

“Oh, he should’ve been here by now,” Jungkook said when he checked the time. “Wait a second,” he mused when he pulled out his phone. “That bitch ditched me!” Jungkook yelled, showing me their conversation in which Taehyung picked a hot Tinder date over Jungkook.

“What kind of friends do we have?” I asked rhetorically, but then I smiled at him. “Don’t be sad, though. If he’s not coming, it means there’s more food for us.” I said, reminding him that there’s always a blessing in disguise. “And my pizza is to die for!”

“Do you want a drink? I think we both need to get drunk,” Jungkook offered, and I nodded – he must’ve read my mind. If he didn’t want to hand me a bottle of bleach, then I’d have to resort to alcohol. “That fucker.”

Quickly, Jungkook poured us drinks, and although it was a bit too strong for my liking, I was going to drink it because the urge to erase Jimin’s dick from my memory was stronger than my common sense.

“So… is he big?” Jungkook asked me when he finished shredding the cheese. He was sitting on the opposite side of the table, supping his drink, staring at me knead the dough. Having sighed, I looked up at him, and flicked some flour on his face, hoping that he would shut his mouth. I wanted to erase that image, and talking about it wouldn’t make that picture to go away. “What? I wanna know.” Jungkook whined, and I shook my head, having no energy to comment on his statement.

Why do men need to know if they’re bigger or not? What does he need this validation for?

“Why don’t you focus on something useful… like turning on the oven, for example,” I said, and Jungkook listened to my command.

“So you’re not going to answer me, are you?” Jungkook asked me again as if he hoped I’d change my mind.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I have nothing to compare it with,” I started, as I spread the sauce over the dough. “If you really wanna know, just flash me your dick, and I’ll tell you who’s bigger,” I added boldly, and Jungkook choked on his second drink, as he did not expect me to ask him to do that.

“On the second thought, I don’t wanna know,” he said, returning to his previous spot. “A simple no would work, by the way.”

“I’m not so sure it would,” I said confidently, as I put all the toppings. Now, we just had to wait for the oven to heat. “So what do you want to do? I need to do something to keep myself busy, so I could forget what I saw. I’m literally down with everything.”

“Everything you say?” Jungkook repeated after me, cocking up his eyebrow, probably thinking of something naughty. If I was right, I couldn’t blame him for any indecent thoughts of me. I would be a hypocrite because I had been thinking about him every night when I had been trying to fall asleep. And then, he had often haunted my dreams, too.

“What? What are you thinking about?” I inquired, though I had already a few possible answers to my question. Jungkook’s embarrassed smile could only mean one thing.

“Oh, I don’t think you wanna find out, baby,” he answered cockily, and I looked into his eyes, as I didn’t expect to hear that kind of reply. My boldness had successfully shied him away, and he was trying to intimidate me in the same way.

“What a shame,” I muttered, as I turned around to put the pizza into the oven. “As I said, I’m down with anything. So, what? Should we continue our marathon from where we left it last week?” I proposed innocently, but Jungkook didn’t seem excited about that option.

“You know what? Screw this,” Jungkook said before he approached me, turned me around, and forced his lips against mine. The kiss was rushed and sloppy, but it conveyed our frustration and urgency, and to me, it was perfect.

Almost instantly, he pushed his tongue into my mouth, and I let out a moan. His hands were holding my face, while mine quickly found purchase on his firm butt and pulled him against me. Unsynchronized, our lips moved together, desperately making up for the lost time that we had spent not kissing each other.

“Jungkook,” I moaned his name, and as if being urged, he hoisted me up and sat me down on the kitchen counter. With his lips tightly pressed against mine, he spread my legs and quickly slipped between them.

Although Jungkook barely touched me, I felt the flame kindle within me. Jungkook’s hands wandered down my sides until they reached my hips where he dug his fingers in. I loved it when he was feeling my body.

When I wanted to moan his name again, Jungkook bit on my bottom lip, stopping it from rolling off my tongue. Right now, he only cared about one thing, and it was me reciprocating his passionate kiss.

“I wanted to do that for quite a long time,” Jungkook confessed, as he pulled away. His eyes were shut close; his forehead was pressed against mine, while his hands dragged me over to the edge of the counter so I could feel his hardening cock.

“Me, too,” I admitted, as I wrapped my legs around his waist. “I won’t tell you how many times thoughts of you fucking me kept me awake at night,” I added, and Jungkook chuckled before he captured my lips again, already missing them.

“I’m hoping you thought of me every night,” Jungkook whispered against my mouth before he began to suck on my bottom lip, playfully pulling it. “I couldn’t fall asleep before I jerked off to you,” Jungkook confessed, and I giggled, as I imagined his veiny hand moving up and down his erection, his hips thrusting against his grip, the little hisses which left his mouth before he moaned my name.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” I blurted out when Jungkook’s lips left my mouth, as he desperately wanted to mark my skin. Gently, Jungkook nipped my neck, as he wanted to imprint his feelings on my body. I didn’t mind hickeys, and I was sure that Jungkook wasn’t going to stop with one. No, he’s the type of a guy to mark me everywhere.

“Are you asking me out?” Jungkook inquired, and I purred when I felt his cold breath on the wet skin of my neck. “I should be the one doing that,” he concluded before he returned to his erotic ministrations; his teeth lightly scratched my skin, and his tongue licked the grazed area, and I probably enjoyed it more than I should. “Tomorrow, we’re going on a date.”

“You’re so hot when you’re so controlling,” I admitted honestly, and if Jungkook didn’t believe me, my wet panties could confirm that I indeed meant my words. “Which is strange because I hate being bossed around,” I added, and Jungkook grinned as he looked up, innocently pecking my lips.

“I wanna be inside of you already,” Jungkook whined, as he rubbed his erected cock against my sex, showing me how desperate he was to feel me. “I wanna feel how you squeeze around me; I wanna hear you scream my name when I make you come.”

“Jungkook, I…” and when I was about to tell him that I wanted him to take me on that kitchen counter, the oven started to ring, signalizing that the pizza was ready. As soon as we realized that the oven just cockblocked us, we began to laugh. “I think it’s a sign that we shouldn’t be doing that,” I said as I pushed him away and jumped off the counter, so I could take the pizza out of the oven before it would burn.

“I highly doubt that,” Jungkook answered as he sat down by the table, watching me bend over. “Your ass is amazing by the way,” he spoke in admiration, but I only rolled my eyes, even though I was flattered that he visually liked my butt.

“Thank you, but if you think that flattery with help you get into my pants, then you’re right,” I said playfully, as I put on mittens and placed the tin-ware on the stove. “But in your case, I think you could do all of the worst things to me, and I’d still let you fuck me, Jeon.”

“I’m honored to hear that you’re whipped for me,” Jungkook said casually, still observing my moves. “What kinky things would you let me do to you?”

“Probably all of them,” I said as I sat astride on his muscular thighs. “Wow, your muscles are no joke. Let me guess; you never skip the leg day, do you?” I asked him while playing with his hair as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I actually do sometimes, but usually it’s when you wanna hang out,” Jungkook admitted, as he grabbed my butt and pulled me closer, so his dick was pressed against my clothed entrance. I was feeling him through the fabric, and it felt absolutely erotic – if he would bury his cock inside of me, I’d probably squeeze around him immediately. “You’re the sole reason why I slack off sometimes.”

“I’m sorry, I had no idea I’m such a bad influence,” I whispered into his ear, rubbing my sex against his throbbing cock. “So… are you hungry? The pizza tastes the best when it’s right out of the oven,” I said, mentioning the food, but Jungkook ignored my proposition, as he was dead set on devouring me.

“It looks and smells delicious, but I fancy something else,” Jungkook stated, and I leaned forward to peck his swollen lips to shut him up. He didn’t want to eat me out, did he? I didn’t mind, I knew what his tongue could do, but more than anything, I was desperate to feel his cock fill me. “I’m so hard, baby,” Jungkook hissed, as he cupped his dick.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” I asked sounding unfittingly innocent what really threw him off for a while. Slowly, I slid off his thighs, waiting for him to stop me if he didn’t want to. Just as I expected, Jungkook didn’t protest, he only admired me when I got on my knees between his legs. “It’s my first time, so don’t expect a pro,” I warned him when I cupped his crotch through the material of his jeans. The moment my hand gently squeezed his erection, Jungkook let out a hushed moan of pleasure.

“That’s right, baby. Touch me,” Jungkook breathed out, and I obediently undid the button of his jeans and pulled the zipper down. Biting my lips, I grabbed the hem of his trousers and yanked them down to his calves.

Apparently, Jungkook’s a boxers kind of guy. His budge was impressive, and I couldn’t wait until I’d see what’s hidden under the material. Having licked my lips, I leaned forward to press my lips against his clothed erection. Jiwoo had told me a few months ago that guys liked a little bit of teasing, and it appears that, Jungkook likes it, too.

“You know how to tease me very well for someone who has never done it,” Jungkook nonchalantly commented, but I just shrugged. I wanted to taste him, and I didn’t want to engage in useless conversation with him.

“You will change your mind when I graze your dick with my teeth,” I said jokingly, but Jungkook panicked even if it was for about a second.

“I think I like you too much to get seriously mad at you,” Jungkook admitted, and I smiled shyly, hoping not to blush at his strange confession. With my eyes trained on his erection, I freed his cock out of the boxers, giving it a few delicate strokes. “Oh, your hands are so cold,” Jungkook hissed, kicking his head backward.

“Hints are very much appreciated,” I added, reminding him it was my first time stroking and blowing a man, so if he had any pointers for me, I’d gladly use them.

“You can squeeze your hand a bit tighter, I barely feel your touch, and it drives me insane,” Jungkook instructed me, and I followed his tips, making him bite his bottom lip, as he tried to remain cool. “You can spit on it, you know,” he added, but I ignored him this time, deciding to lick his cock from its base all up to its tip instead.

“Shit,” Jungkook cursed, shutting his eyes close. “Just put it in your mouth already,” Jungkook urged, and I wrapped my mouth around the tip of his cock just as he demanded. “Oh, yeah, just like that,” Jungkook panted out, enjoying the way I ran my tongue around the tip while simultaneously squeezing his balls.

“I’m so turned out right now,” I moaned, feeling excitement flare up inside of me. “I’m so wet for your thick cock,” I added before I once again put his cock into my mouth, this time taking more of him. His response was immediate; although he was trying to stay still because of my lack of experience, he couldn’t stop himself from buckling his hips up, desperate to fuck my throat.

“OK, that’s enough,” Jungkook whispered, as I probably did something wrong. Well…, if anything, it was his fault – he was thrusting into my mouth when I was evidently not prepared for it. “It’s my turn to take care of you; don’t you think?” He added as he offered me his hand to help me stand up.

“You want to eat me out?”

“Damn straight I do,” Jungkook answered quickly, as he jumped up to his feet in front of me and threw me over his shoulder. “You remember that drinking game we played? I’m gonna prove to you how mind-blowing head I give,” he added and spanked my butt playfully.

“If I knew that my choice would hurt your ego so much, I’d just point at Hoseok,” I answered, trying to refrain myself from giggling. The situation was ridiculous; Jungkook was trying to prove me wrong, although I had no doubts in his skills.

Quickly, Jungkook stepped out of his boxers, leaving them behind on the kitchen floor as he carried me to his bedroom.

“To be completely honest, I thought of eating you out ever since,” Jungkook admitted as he placed me on his bed carefully. “How you would moan my name, how you would arch your back and buckle into my face,” he continued, and I hid my face behind my hands too embarrassed to look at him. “Is it too much?”

Hesitantly, I lowered my hands to look at him; Jungkook was sitting on the other side of the bed, staring at me. He looked incredibly nervous, and I couldn’t believe it was me who made him stressed like that. It was just me; he didn’t have to worry about what I was thinking.

“What are you talking about? It’s nothing compared to what I was thinking,” I stated confidently, trying to ease the tension between us. “Maybe I wasn’t pining for you as long as you were for me, but my thoughts are way kinkier. You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me,” I explained, and with that, Jungkook surged forward, getting on top of me, kissing my breath away.

“You’re too great to be real,” he whispered when he pulled away for a second. Before I managed to reply, his lips returned to my mouth, while his hands started to once again roam around my body. Jungkook completely dominated the kiss, and I moaned into his mouth when he squeezed my breast and rubbed his erection against me.

“Just fuck me, Jeon. I don’t care if it’s your cock, tongue or fingers. I just have to feel you, please,” I urged me, as grinding my sex against him wasn’t the best sign of what I wanted him to do. Kissing him was beyond amazing, but my pussy was throbbing for his attention.

“I just love how needy you are,” Jungkook whispered as he kissed my neck, undoing my trousers, pushing his hand under the hem of my panties. “And your pussy is drenched,” he stated matter-of-factly, as he began to rub my juices across my clit.

“Yes,” I breathed out, pushing my hips upwards, wanting him to apply more force. “Oh my God, Jungkook, please, more,” I moaned, hoping that my desperate cries for pleasure would make him stop teasing me.

“Undress,” Jungkook ordered, and I quickly grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, while Jungkook yanked my jeans and panties down my legs, tossing them on the floor. “You look even better than I imagined,” Jungkook admitted before he leaned forward, placing delicate kisses on my stomach, down to my sex.

Firmly, his large hand held my hips in one place. With one last look at me, Jungkook dived in, shaking my world upside down with his tongue. All of his attention was focused on my clit, he massaged it, tugged it and swirled his tongue around it.

Though it was my first time when a guy went down on me, I could tell that Jungkook was amazing; I enjoyed it more than all of my past intimate endeavors. Unlike all the other men I had been with, Jungkook wasn’t only a taker. He gave so much from himself, while at the same time; he wasn’t trying to force me into returning the pleasure. He was perfect.

“You’re so hot,” Jungkook praised me before he started to fuck me with his tongue; it was so nice, I thought I could easily come on his mouth. “I could bet that I could make you come with my fingers,” he added smugly, as he inserted his middle finger inside my pussy.

“I’m not going to bet when I know I’m gonna lose,” I replied genuinely, as I had no intention to boost his ego even more. My desperate moans already stroked it a bit too much.

“Shame,” Jungkook spoke before he started to suck on my clit while curling his fingers inside of me, as he tried to make me come around his fingers.

“You’ve proven your point, Jeon. You’re amazing at giving head,” I said, as I gripped the sheets when Jungkook’s fingers found my sweet spot. “But I really want to come around your cock. Jungkook, please, I want to feel your cock inside of me.”

“Is it weird that it turns me on when you call me Jeon?” Jungkook asked as he pulled out, once again getting on top of me, placing his chin between my breasts.

“No, it’s not, Jeon,” I answered, watching his reaction when I called him by his surname. He didn’t lie, he evidently enjoyed it. “Is it weird that I want you to fill my pussy with cum and then make me come with your fingers with your cum inside of me?”

“A bit,” Jungkook admitted, and I giggled along with him. “But shit, now when you said it, I want to do that,” he added, and I smirked, glad that he didn’t find my fantasy too weird for him. “So… how do you want me to fuck your pussy?”

“I was wondering if I could ride your dick.”

“Baby, this seat is yours,” Jungkook said, as he lay beside me, letting me climb on top of him.

“Take off your shit, I wanna see these abs you’ve been working on,” I commanded, and Jungkook complied, showing off his beautiful muscles. Admiring the view in front of me, I reached behind my back to unhook my bra, releasing my breast.

“Do you like it?” He asked, but instead of answering him, I just grind my pussy against his throbbing cock. “You love it,” he concluded, tensing his muscles, so when I touched them, they were hard as rocks.

“I do, but I’d still like you if you weren’t ripped,” I admitted before I managed to bite my tongue. We had confessed to each other before, but it had never been that direct.

“And I’d still like you if you were just as ripped as I am,” Jungkook jested, and I rubbed him harder, excited to finally feel him inside of me. “Ride me.”

Slowly, I grabbed his cock and aligned it with my entrance, carefully sinking down onto it. He was thick, and despite being incredibly wet, I still was tight for his cock.

“Oh my God,” Jungkook moaned when my walls stretched around his length. “It feels so good,” he added, as he gently moved his hips, and I moaned, loving the feeling of him inside of me. It felt like heaven.”You’re so warm.”

At first, I rocked my hips slowly, but gradually I increased the pace. His cock was filling me so good, and whenever I sank down on it, I let a loud moan.

“Yes, baby,” Jungkook hissed, as he sat up. With his fingers digging into my flesh, he helped me reach the tempo which satisfied us both. “You’re so hot,” he added again, as he pressed his lips against my skin between my breasts. “You will make me come ridiculously fast,” Jungkook said, and I giggled in between desperate gasps for air.

My stamina was nonexistent when compared to Jungkook’s.

“Oh my God, yes!” I screamed when Jungkook hand rubbed my clit. “Fuck,” I panted, picking my pace, riding him using the last bits of my energy. My walls started to hiss around Jungkook’s throbbing cock, and judging by a multitude of hushed breaths which left his mouth, Jungkook was close too.

“Please, don’t stop,” Jungkook begged, as he began to thrust from underneath me. He was desperate to reach his orgasm, and I couldn’t wait to hear him shout my name when he’d release his load inside of me. “I’m coming, I’m coming, shit,” Jungkook loudly whined as he came, milking my walls with his sticky cum.

“Please, don’t stop!” I shouted as I continued to chase my release. “Fuck, Jungkook, I feel so good,” I said before the wave of pleasure surged through me, making me scream his name and arch my back. It was by far the best orgasm of my life.

“It was amazing,” Jungkook said as he kissed my temple, watching me descend slowly on the ground after the blissful peak. “You are amazing,” he added, but I only wrapped my arms around him, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

“We have to keep doing that,” I commented, feeling incredibly euphoric. “I had no idea that sex could be this good,” I added while absentmindedly caressing his sweaty chest.

“I had no idea I’m this good,” Jungkook teased, and I lightly hit him. He was getting too smug for his own good. “So, you wanted another round, is that right?” Jungkook asked as he pulled out his cock, letting his jizz slowly leak out of my pussy. “It’s a lot of cum.”

“I know what I said, and I’m still turned on when I think about it, but now, I can only think about a hot shower,” I explained, even though I suspected Jungkook to be disappointed with me changing my mind so quickly. “Are you mad?”

“Are you kidding me?” Jungkook asked me as he propped on his elbow to be able to look at me properly. “I could never be mad at you.” He stated, pecking my forehead. “We’ll have a quick shower, and then, we’ll eat your pizza.”

“I like that plan.”

“I am not finished,” he said, making me curious about his plans. “Tomorrow, before our date I’m giving you two orgasms,” Jungkook proposed, and I eagerly nodded my head. “And another two orgasms after our date.”

“That’s crazy.”

“No, it would be crazy if I wanted to make you come during the date.”

“You’re crazy,” I corrected myself, trying my best not to giggle.

“Maybe a little bit.”

#jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #bts smut #jeongguk #jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jeongguk fluff #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bangtan #bangtan smut #domestic au #humour #kpop smut #jimin

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mskathywriteswords · 5 years ago

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Cupcakes at Midnight - Chapter 2

No warnings this chapter.

I look at myself in the mirror, wondering where all the years have gone. It feels like last week I was a blushing bride, and yesterday I was picking up the pieces from a failed marriage. But it's been over a decade.

My phone is in the kitchen, I left it there purposely so that I wouldn't obsess over looking at it every five seconds.

Instead, I go through my regular nighttime routine, taking my time with each step. The normalcy of it comforts me. I can pretend that I'm not freaking out on the inside. I scoop the cat litter and refill his water as he meows, begging like he's never been fed before.

I walk back and look at the cupcakes. The cinnamon crunch is gone, of course, but the other three still intrigue me. I've never even heard of some of the flavor combinations Ava's made for me. But I want to try them.

The thought of putting them in my mouth makes me blush, which is ridiculous because surely I'm a grownup who can think dirty things without a childish reaction. I close my eyes and slide my tongue across the silky frosting. The tang of raspberry rises up and makes my mouth water even more. I'm about to dive in to the cake part of the cupcake when I notice my phone lighting up and buzzing.

Ivy must be late night texting me, maybe she's fighting with Matt again. I swear, I don't know if those two will make it to their actual wedding.

But there is a tinge of hope that it's not Ivy.

After debating forcing myself to wait longer to check, I pick the phone up and click the button on the side so I can preview the message.

It's from her.

What if she texted back to ask me to stop texting?

That would be dumb, since she's the one that gave me her number, right?

What if she says it was all a mistake and that note was meant for Ivy? That would make sense; Ivy is gorgeous and statuesque, and ... not me.

But she didn't give Ivy the box of cupcakes, did she?

I drive myself crazy with what-ifs, so I just open the text.

I'm so happy to hear from you. What are you up to tonight? Hope it's not too late to text

I start to tap out a reply, then delete it. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow to reply? Then I realize her message was blue, meaning she'd see the three dots if she happened to be looking at her phone.

And either way, even if it was only going to be a friendship, did I really want to wait and play games? Wasn't I done with all of that?

Another exciting Friday night, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch watching Netflix, very much enjoying these cupcakes. Thank you again. And no, not too late to text - I use the quiet functions once I go to sleep, so you're good to text me anytime

I smile, hoping I'm coming across as genuinely as I feel. When I see the three dots pop up on her side of the screen, my smile grows.

What's on your current to-binge list? Glad you're enjoying the cupcakes. Thank you for inspiring them

Thank god she's a text-in-complete-words person.

Before I walk back to the couch, I pour myself another cup of tea and eye the last two cupcakes. How many cupcakes was too many in one night? I shrug and grab the orange-swirled one.

Well, right now I'm in the middle of Derry Girls. Still have to catch up on Handmaid's on Hulu, but that won't be until after I get through a few (probably boring) documentaries.

Instead of clicking the phone off, I set it on the arm of the couch, face up, so I can see if she replies again. Maybe my TV choices would make her realize how utterly snooze-y my life is.

OMG, which epi of HT are you on? Haven't seen DG, good?

We exchange texts for a few hours, discussing different movies and tv series, finding common likes and dislikes. By the time I yawn for the first time, finally acknowledging how tired I am, I realize it's past 3 am.

Holy shit, I have to get to bed soon. Will you be around tomorrow?

Jane from five years ago would have thought it was being very forward of me to ask, but right-now Jane is enjoying the conversation and ready for more from life.

I will. Any chance we could continue this conversation in person?

I tap out my reply before I even have time to think it through or be too self-conscious.

Absolutely

Awesome. Let's play it by ear, but I'll see you tomorrow, J

The temptation to leave it there gets over-ruled by my giddy, smooshy feelings.

Goodnight. Sweet dreams

That's the last reply in the series, and I set my phone on the nightstand, long ago having moved to bed to charge my phone. I roll to my side and think about what tomorrow will bring. Cat curls up at my feet and makes his displeasure that we're all still awake very well known. My eyes can barely stay open, but my brain is a freight train of excitement.

The next morning, I debate what "too early" to text would be. I don't want to seem overly eager, but I don't want to intentionally withhold a message just to play some weird unwritten rule game.

I get my laundry done, sweep the kitchen, and putter as much as I can, until finally around mid-day, my phone chirps. Cat looks up at me, ever-annoyed that his nap has been interrupted.

Beer, pizza, and extraordinarily dark dystopian future tv watching?

I shake my head and laugh.

What could make for a better Saturday night?

I can think of a few things. For now, it sounds pretty good, right? Wanna meet at your place? Is that too weird / too soon?

Was that a date? Meeting at my place to watch tv?

Sure, not too soon at all. What time?

We make plans for a few hours later, and I'm still unsure if it's a date, but I decide it doesn't matter. I want more fun in my life, so even if we just hang out and get to know each other better, wasn't that the point?

When the doorbell rings, I practically jump out of the chair. I open the door, and Ava looks like she's just come from some punk band concert that would be way too cool for me to even consider. I laugh to myself.

"Hey, come in."

Her hands are full, but she makes her way past me, finding the kitchen immediately.

"I wasn't sure what pizza toppings you like? I don't know how we didn't discuss that. But I went with half cheese, half pepperoni, just to be safe. Sound okay?"

She smiles and a part of me wants to melt at how genuine it is.

"Yeah, sounds great. I'll just grab plates. Do you need a fork and knife?"

The look on her face is absolutely fucking priceless.

"A fork and knife? For what?"

"Oh man, Ivy is so funny, she had me convinced for a while that everyone eats pizza with a fork and knife. Thank god it's just her. I was starting to question everything about my twenties."

"No way. Pizza is a single hand, no utensil kind of food. That's part of what makes it so perfect. I wasn't sure what kind of beer you drink, so I just got something generic."

We open our cans and take them, the pizza, and a roll of paper towels to the coffee table. Between bites, we talk about the season of the show and how we each think it's going; we make predictions on where it might end up. Then finally, when the pizza is gone and we're left with just awkward silence, we put the show on.

I can see Ava looking around my apartment as we watch, maybe trying to learn things about my life? Her eyes are on a particular frame over my fireplace.

"That's my niece, Hailey," I say, smiling.

We're sitting across the couch from each other; not too far, but not too close. Cat was always between us, annoyingly adorable as ever.

"Do you have any siblings?"

She smiles. "Nope. Only child."

"Does that get lonely? I bet it was glorious growing up. No one to fight with for the TV remote, or what kind of pizza to have."

Ava shrugs and smiles, then turns her attention back to the TV. Her body had been angled toward mine, but she shifts, and then scoots closer. Horrible things happen on the show in front of us, but right in the room? She laces her fingers through mine and my whole body warms.

Is this what it's supposed to feel like?

A few hours, laughs, and cupcakes later, the sun has set and we're several episodes into another series. I'm surprised when Ava gets up, yawning. Her arms go over her head as she stretches, and I swear I almost die when I see a sliver of her skin between her shirt and pants.

"I open the bakery in a few hours. I'm sorry, I'm terrible company right now. I probably haven't said ten words in the last hour."

"No need to apologize," I say, standing and touching her arm. "You've been great company. I feel bad I've been keeping you. You were up so late last night, too. All my fault." I laugh, trying to downplay my disappointment that the night is ending.

"Mutual blame," she says, smiling and tugging my arm. It could be a friendly gesture, the hug, but I can't help but hope it's the beginning of something more than a friendship.

#lesbian #original fiction #lgbtq books #wlw #fluffy smut

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19-falls · 5 years ago

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jumbled thoughts on crash landing on you (2020).

ㅡ this is nowhere near what you’d call a ‘review’.

spoiler alert!

First of all, I might need to say that I initially had no plan on watching this show. It’s pretty understandable considering that I recently lost interest on being the avid drama watcher I was, and now shifting more on films & books. You see...if you watch too many dramas, it’s totally normal to get bored of it (i mean the overused tropes???typical plot???) and just staying away from it. It’s not helping that recent shows I’ve watched are lackluster at best, and I haven’t been able to found a good one in a while. But I was just recently subscribed to Netflix, and this pops up more than I’d want it to, which brought me to mindlessly clicking the first episode due to boredom I’ve had for not watching any shows in MONTHS and the rest is history. I wasn’t that excited for starting this one to be frankly, due to endless spoilers I’ve gotten from twt and I had been mad over it. I was in a state where I knew how this’d end, but goes for it anyways because I have nothing to do.

The scriptwriter for this particular show is also the one who wrote You Who Came from the Stars (2013) and Legend of the Blue Sea (2017), and I wasn’t exactly a big fan of her writing. And the very troupe that I immensely dislike on the afore-mentioned shows was included on this drama as well. This scriptwriter seems to have a huge liking for putting out thriller-like tone on a romance drama, and it didn’t sit well for my preferences. If you’ve watched these three shows, you’d know all the leads are ALWAYS having dangerous encounter with villains and near-death experiences you’d rarely see in romcoms. It bugged me off how much she seems glued to this troupe and constantly having it on three representative shows she’s writing for, and these are honestly one of my ultimate reason for not doing rewatches for her dramas (I think CLOY could be an obvious exception due to the stellar casting choices for the leads; i’ll explain this later). Not a lot of people could do a well-written thriller-romance, and hers weren’t ones of those. It takes a fair and well-balanced tone to make it work, but in these shows, it just feels like constant fillers and a complete try-hard to make this unpredictable, when all we know that it’s nearly impossible to kill the leads (which I might be wrong while making this seamless assumption but okay).

The biggest downside for the writing style for these shows (bcs I’m not just talking about cloy ㅡit applies just the same for ywcfts and lotbs) is the very inability of Park Ji-eun scriptwriter-nim to write at least a DECENT ending for her shows. And that, my friend, is why I wouldn’t give this perfect score despite my unlimited praises in terms of acting, when I knew how good it’d be if she just let go of her obsession for making the ending ‘impactful’ (which seems to be horribly received by the audiences), and just write a proper ending for ONCE. It’s a big shame it didn’t happen on this drama (*disappointed but not suprised*), but I won’t stop hoping nonetheless. She has a knack for writing witty & entertaining script with great cast ensemble, and that’s why despite my dislike for some of the traits of her shows, I still watch them anyways.

Aside for the poorly-written ending, while I found the editing for first half of the show a lil bit tacky sometimes (especially when it needed CGI), Crash Landing on You also suffers from unnecessary lengthy duration (mostly because it hit big domestically and internationally and the creators get greedy which is never a good thing) that could have been made effective if they weren’t spent so long on shallowly written villainous role which seems to be written for the sake of unpredictability (and was acted wonderfully by Oh Man-suk with its limited character background given). It happened as well on YWCFTS and LOTBS, and again, if you’ve seen those two shows, you’d know how similar the pattern for the plot of CLOY compared to them. If you love them, then it’d work out good for CLOY as well, and if it’s not (like me), then you’d know what kind of writing style Park Ji-eun’s best at along with her worst features on the shows.

DO THESE LISTED-DOWN FLAWS MEAN I’M NOT ENJOYING THE SHOW?

NO.

In fact, I’m enjoying it a whole lot more than I did with ywcfts and lotbs.

What ultimately sets cloy apart from the two shows is the leads’ acting compability. With ywcts and lotbs, it’s no doubt and much obvious to see that Jun Ji-hyun greatly overshadowed her acting opponentㅡplaying on roles she’s best at, be it as a spoiled popular actress and clueless mermaid. She’s just that good on playing roles that doesn’t have any calmness to it; and more like crazy and freeing women who knows no boundaries. Although her emotional acting was very much in good quality, as well. And because of this very fact, both her costars couldn’t have the equal amount of spotlight, mostly because the characterization for her character (and how she added flavor to that) is much stronger compared to what could be expected from the male leads who, most of the time, don’t share similar traits like hers. I still say that Kim Soo-hyun’s performances on ywcfts are definitely good enough to pair up with Jun Ji-hyun, but I couldn’t say that he’s on his best role despite it prolly being one of his widely known ones.

On this show, Hyun Bin and Son Ye-jin could be said on a similar level for acting capability. Though Son Ye-jin wins out more because of the scriptwriter’s tendency on making her female lead stood out due to their strong characterization, it worked okay because Hyun Bin does match her energy and it just contributed to the fact that he’s a visually good looking actor but still manage to be very damn good at acting as well. And it’s rare to see actors like that on dramaland, you know. Most of widely popular actors seems to stick on one role and never grows from that, but despite his flopped works (yes I’m still bitter on how ineffectiively used he was on Hyde Jekyll and Me) before he started to hit big again after Memoir of Alhambra, ones that had paid attention to his works would know that Hyun Bin, is indeed, good at acting, especially on showcasing his detailed expressions added to the role he’s given. His performances on Secret Garden still awes me to no end, and I’m happy to see that powerful raw acting capability again while he potrayed Ri Jeong-hyeok in this show.

And Son Ye-jin?This show is just another valid proof that she’s more than a “Melo Queen” people seems to have loved her for. The bratty, spoiled and even brazen acting she’s showed on the drama was incredibly well-acted. Her chemistry with her co-stars were fantastic. Of course, I shouldn’t have to say anything about her acting qualityㅡshe’s just THAT good. And I love her more on roles like this; where she could freely show off her capability as an actress on a broader spectrum, rathen than her usual melancholic roles in most of her films. I thought she was a lil bit wasted when she chose to play on Something on the Rain, so thank god she accepted the offer for this show!

And their chemistry is totally off-the-charts, fyi. I might have recently added them on my personal top list for being the most visually good looking couple I’ve ever seen on kdramas with explosive chemistry which I greatly appreciate, and YES I have seen a lot to know that their magnetic presences for each other is like no other. A lil bit biased but okaayyy.

From the leads alone, this is just an absolute must-to-watch show. It’s incredibly rare to see such good performers to helm a show on romance dramas these days. And the most suprising thing is how they doesn’t lose out to the second leads. Seo Ji-hye and Kim Jung-hyun were great on their own feet, but Hyun Bin and Son Ye-jin were just so good on this show that I ALMOST couldn’t care less about the second leads. They grew on me though, and THAT ENDING HURT ME.

And the rest of the casts???Just pure goodness. Everyone has their own color, from the neighborhood moms, the clueless & silly team but still one of my favorite bits to watch, to the villainous role. Everyone’s just doing so great on their role that I couldn’t pick on anything about them. All the characters are the the life of this show. If you’re more of a character-driven drama person, you’d enjoy this immensely.

And it’s so fascinating how they could maintained the light-heartedness of the show to the very end albeit a couple of finale episodes getting so dramatic & hits more emotional beats than usual. I mean, THIS SHOW FEELS LIKE A COMICAL TYPE OF DRAMA SOMETIMES BECAUSE IT WAS THAT HILARIOUS T.T One of the best traits from Park Ji-eun’s scriptwriter, if I might add. Not to mention, the soundtracks!My favorite is Davichi’s by the way :)

I still have a lot of praises for the acting part, because it feels refreshing to see such a well-acted drama while getting so much popularity at the very same time. With dramas like Descendant of the Sun, Goblin, and more internationally well-received kdramas out there, I still find it hard to choose a drama that has leads with equal amount of respect, trust, and purely in love just as much as they are to each other like this one. Most of romance dramas heavily relies on either the woman or man to be a lil bit more in love with their respective partners, but it wasn’t the case with this one. And that is why despite my constant rant & nitpick for the show, I still consider this as one of my great watch in recent years (not that I have many that I had watched lol).

Watch it for you’re in for witty dialogues, constant hilarity between the characters, and explosive chemistry & well-acted performances from the leads & the rest of casts.

Do not watch it for you’re not prepared for the flaws I’ve listen down, and how this is not directed for ones that seek a realistic watch. Ultimately, Crash Landing on You is best watched if you’re not using your brain for it.

#cloy #crash landing on you #kdrama #hyun bin #son ye jin #thoughts

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medea10 · 5 years ago

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My Review of Aggretsuko

Her one bright spot in this day-in, day-out hellhole is her mic, a karaoke business, a solo room, and blazing death metal. Once she’s singing some hardcore death metal and unleashes her fury of her hectic workday, she’s ready to take on the world again. And just like with the Hello Kitty world, this series has many animals with quite the interesting line-up of quirks. For example we’ve got a sly fox who monitors Instagram, a suck-up dog, a hygena who is into rock, a fashionable gorilla who’s friends with a bird, a hippo that’s a spy, and yeah, the chauvinistic pig who’s also the boss. BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: So this anime is sort of exclusive to Netflix in every aspect (that includes in Japan). I’m noticing a lot of popular anime titles are being exclusive to Netflix. I mean, if they’re able to air them weekly as they air in Japan, I have no problem. It’s just the waiting for something to air and then they decide to bundle everything so you can binge watch is where I have a problem. Believe it or not, I’m not a binge-watcher. Every now and then I can breeze through at the most 6 episodes in a whole day, but a whole series or season, no! Yeah, Medea has a life outside of anime reviews (shocking)! I only did that once and that was a good eight years ago. But I digress! I will say that Netflix got their shit together better than Amazon. Anime Strike was such a major fuck-up from day one. Thank God it’s dead. Anyways, this does include an English dub. By the looks of all the Netflix exclusive animes, they all seem to be dubbed by VSI in L.A. (I guess a smaller version of Bang Zoom productions) with Patrick Seitz doing a lot of the casting. This was a very well casted dub (which is more than what I can say about a certain redub they did recently). But I really do love this dub with Erica Mendez, G.K. Bowes, Ben Diskin, Ray Chase, and many others. And oh my God, Jamison Boaz is like the best with the metal Retsuko moments! With the sub, you will not find much info on the voice of Retsuko. Rumor has it that she’s married to the guy who does the screaming death metal for Retsuko (who is also the director of Aggretsuko). Here’s what you might recognize these folks from. JAPANESE CAST: *Retsuko is played by Kaolip *Retsuko (metal version) is played by Rareko (director of Aggretsuko) *Haida is played by Shingo Katou *Fenneko is played by Marina Inoue (known for Aria on Pokemon XY, Armin on Attack on Titan, Yoko on Gurren Lagann, Jessica on Umineko, Kyouko on Skip Beat, Wataru on Hayate, and Rei on H.O.T.D.) ENGLISH CAST: *Retsuko is played by Erica Mendez (known for Ryuko on Kill la Kill, Haruka/Uranus on Sailor Moon redub, Emma on The Promised Neverland, Nico on Love Live, Yuuki on SAO II, Tsuruko on Anohana, and Tsubaki on Your Lie in April) *Retsuko (metal version) is played by Jamison Boaz *Haida is played by Ben Diskin (known for Sai on Naruto Shippuden, Satoru on ERASED, Joseph/Jojo on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Umino on Sailor Moon redub, and Numba 1 on Kids Next Door) *Fenneko is played by Katelyn Gault (known for Prof Badcock on Little Witch Academia) FAVORITE CHARACTER: I’m a Fenneko fan. What’s not to like? Her mischievous behavior, her social media activity, and that freakin’ laugh! DISLIKED CHARACTER: It’s hard to find characters to hate here! Believe it or not once you get past the debut episode of an asshole character, you see them for more than just an asshole and think, maybe they’re not that much of an asshole. Yeah, in all good conscience I can’t really add Ton even if he’s a sexist pig. And Anai just needed to be pushed in the right direction so he can succeed. I don’t fully hate Anai…I fear him. Wait a second and I’ll talk a bit below! Then there are those characters who still rub on me the wrong way and those characters are Tsubone, Tsunoda, and Komiya. But I’m laying off Komiya. I don’t know why! Maybe it’s because Todd Haberkorn plays this little brown-noser that it makes me laugh to a point where I can’t hate on him. Yeah, Haberkorn is that good! Tsunoda knows the game and does what she has to do in order to survive in the office and on social media. I’m not thrilled to witness females put on the charm at the workplace the way she does, but you know it happens. Tsubone just seems like such a bitch so for the moment I’ll leave her on my dislike corner. Okay, anybody else? Shit. Retsuko’s mother!

Yeah, as I mentioned recently in my Top 10 Worst Anime Mothers list, I had to put Retsuko’s mother on there. She was such a pushy mama that she did so much damage to her daughter’s life. Okay lady, lay the fuck off! Your daughter is not living with you at home, she has a stable job, and she’s making the most of her life. She doesn’t need you giving her embarrassing clothes to wear, hooking her up with random bachelors, flat-out lie to her with photoshopped photos, force her on speed-dating, break into her apartment, and just be a complete hypocrite! SHIPPING: Retsuko has had quite the romantic cycle throughout the 20 episodes. Let’s go down this list, shall we? Retsuko x Haida: Ah, the little ship that can’t even leave port. Haida has had this humungous crush on Retsuko throughout the entire series. However this love is unrequited. Retsuko just sees Haida as a workmate and a friend, nothing more. Haida has been friend-zoned so many times. Even when he tries to release his feelings towards Retsuko, most of the time it would fall on deaf ears or in the case of season one’s finale/Christmas special, a rejection. Then again, it came right after a break-up and no one wants a rebound! But I do find myself rooting for this little ship to one day set sail. I know one day they’ll be together and I will await for that to happen. Retsuko x Resasuke: I really don’t know what drew Retsuko to this pot-plant. Yeah, I call Resasuke a pot-plant because of his nothing phases him attitude, his abundance of plants at home, and monotone voice. IT DOESN’T HELP THAT HE’S VOICED BY SAITAMA! It was pretty clear that there were a lot of loose connections between this couple that despite both Retsuko and Resasuke having some things in common, not going to work. It was not the best of ships. Retsuko x Tadano: Tadano was the man in Retsuko’s life that could have given her anything her heart desires. Everything except a family since Tadano doesn’t want to get married or start a family. Retsuko always dreamed of having a sugar daddy of a husband so that she could quit her soul-crushing job (at least that’s what she wanted in season one). But in season two she realized that she likes her job and wants to be with someone that resonates with her. As for wanting a family, Retsuko kind of grew to the idea of one day becoming a wife and mother. But Tadano wants nothing to do with that. Retsuko x Shirota: Aw, this was kinda cute even though these two were totally hooked up because of their nosy mothers. Retsuko at the time was scared at the prospect of getting married and Shirota completely understood. But when Retsuko asked about Shirota after some time had passed, Retsuko’s mother said that he was hooked up with another girl and it’s going well. I felt that sting all the way over here. I know he was the right guy at the wrong time, but I felt for Retsuko. Second place for me in the shipping department. Retsuko x Anai: GOOD FUCKDOM NO! Who would ask for this to happen?! TWO THINGS THAT FRIGHTEN ME: Yep, two things frighten me quite a bit. First thing would be whenever Ton smiles. I know most of the time when he’s smiling, it’s one of those fake as hell smiles, but they are frightening to see regardless. And the whole floor agrees as seeing that scared the ever-loving crap out of everyone there. And second…Anai! When you first meet him, you think he’s a positive go-getter. But when he’s behind his cellphone, he is downright scary. He ends up cyber-stalking half the office including Retsuko, Haida, and even Ton. ENDING TO SEASON ONE: We all know how much Haida has a this huge crush on Retsuko right? Let’s add a new love interest to spice things up! An absolute space cadet by the name of Resasuke! Retsuko has seen him around the office and on the train when she’s on the way to work. The only problem is, no one is able to get through to him…he’s so spacey! So one night, Retsuko gets roped into going on a speed date with some of the girls in the office. And the men they met are also some men from the office. And Retsuko surprisingly wound up having a meaningful conversation with Resasuke. Through text messages. Even though they’re right in front of each other. Sighs in disgust because I really hate that in real life as to showing my real age. Actually, I probably shouldn't scold the boy as he could be on the Autism Spectrum and has problems communicating normally with people in social interactions. Unfortunately, Retsuko winds up drinking too much alcohol that night and forgets key parts of what happened. All she knows is that when she woke up, her heart was all pitter-patter. It must be indegest…no, it’s love! Retsuko definitely sees something in Resasuke that no one else can see. Not even Washimi or Gouri can see it! But the important thing is that Retsuko is on cloud nine that nothing gets her down and when nothing gets her down, she’s not going to go “metal”. However, the “metal” side was ready to peak out. It’s clear that Resasuke doesn’t know much about relationships or other social interaction for that matter. He can’t tell when Retsuko is in pain and isn’t that considerate to her. Plus he wasn’t really the one who wanted to go on the dates. He was always put up by one of his co-workers. Meanwhile, Haida (who has had a major crush on Retsuko from the beginning) has been super moody. He gets so drunk one night and ends up the hospital because dumbass injured himself accidentally. So the following day at work was hectic for Retsuko, Fenneko, and Ton. During that long day of work, Retsuko’s boss (while always grumpy and insulting to Retsuko) made a little sense to her today. His words kinda hit Retsuko in the terms of the relationship dilemma. I know he meant it in terms of the accounting job, but I think it struck a nerve with how Retsuko is in her relationship with Resasuke. “If you keep giving out more than what you’re getting back in return, eventually there ain’t gonna be anything left” So…Retsuko took Resasuke to karaoke and expressed it all out. In the end, Retsuko and Resasuke split up. But could there be hope for Haida now? Well, we close things out in Haida’s hospital room and Retsuko visits him. And surprise, surprise, it looks like a love confession! What will Retsuko say? Tune in next ti…end of the season now! CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: Unlike all the other episodes (which are 13 minutes long at most), this one is a full 22 minute special. We start the Christmas special with what Retsuko said to Haida. It was a rejection. So you know Haida was going to be a depressed basket case for a while. But let’s not worry about that now, it’s Christmas time! And the episode focuses on what everyone around the office is doing for the special holiday. Tsunoda’s going out with a guy (no surprise there). Kabae is spending it with her husband and three kids (and also hide the presents so the kids won’t find them). Before Retsuko could figure out what she wants to do, in comes Ton with paperwork that needs to be done by the end of the night. Retsuko still put up a brave front finishing her work and also fooling social media that she’s having a fabulous dinner. But Fenneko knew that was a lie when she saw the picture and told Haida that she’s at work suffering through paperwork. And being the hopeless romantic, Haida tries to get to the office to help her, but found she was no longer there when he arrived. After Retsuko finished, her friends Gouri and Washimi swooped in and treated her to dinner. But after dinner, Retsuko bumped into Haida…so Haida got a little lucky there. And he got to spend a few moments alone with Retsuko. SEASON TWO: After the success Aggretsuko made in 2018, strike twice while the iron is still hot! Season two dropped this June with brand new characters, new love interests, and so much METAL! Actually, not as many metal moments as season one, but still there. Retsuko had her hands full all through this season with her mother setting her up with “eligible” bachelors, work still giving her the business, a new guy at work who’s possessed by Beelzebub’s cellphone, getting her driver’s license, and possibly meeting the man of her dreams. And with all those, Retsuko’s going to need some time in the karaoke booth to let out this pile of rage. And this season we meet Retsuko’s mother (a different shade of panda than her daughter), a woman who is way too invasive of her daughter’s privacy and home life. Then we have Anai (a badger), a straight out of college newbie at work. If even one thing is said to him that even seems 1% offensive, he will break out his phone and cyber stalk that person and threaten them with a harassment charge. And then there’s Tadano (a donkey) who Retsuko meets in a driver’s education course. Oh, wait until you meet Tadano! END OF SEASON TWO: As it turns out, Tadano (the guy Retsuko meets at Driver’s Ed) isn’t really a slacker like she thought at first, but a multi-millionaire with his work in A.I. He’s a major celebrity in the tech world and Retsuko’s company wants to partner with him. Meanwhile Tadano has eyes for Retsuko…as a love interest! This could be it! This could be Retsuko’s chance at absolute happiness, where she can have anything in the world with this sugar daddy. There’s a drawback to this. Recently, Retsuko has been thinking if she’s really wife/mother material after seeing some of her coworkers (like Kabae and Ton with their families). Plus the whole marriage conversation with her mom probably got to her too. So she’s thinking more and more about starting a family. However… Tadano has NO interest in either marriage or having kids! For some time, Retsuko and Tadano were seeing each other privately. But somehow, someone got pictures of them together and it spread throughout the internet. And everyone, including Retsuko’s mother, friends, and co-workers were blown off their asses when they saw pictures of Retsuko with Tadano. Meanwhile, Haida got drunk and wound up on his back again! Retsuko tried her best to see the bright side of all this. But she kept running into hate-filled posts bashing her for dating Tadano. And the whole dilemma that she and Tadano aren’t on the same wavelengths when it comes to marriage and family is digging at her like a shiv. Add to that, Tadano wants Retsuko to quit her job since he believes her job will be obsolete once his A.I. business takes over. After some soul searching, Retsuko came back to work after a few days of being AWOL and was ready to hand Ton her resignation letter. Ton sat back and watched all this happen and wouldn’t accept this. He gives her shit literally every day of her job, even giving her the nickname “Calander” because her “days are numbered”. But he knows that all of this isn’t even her deciding. Tadano is doing all the talking and actions for her. Once again, Ton was able to reach Retsuko with his words. So Retsuko knows what she must do. Retsuko’s friends Washimi and Gouri put aside a heated fight they previously had in order to help. So they ambushed Tadano, had Haida take care of his entourage, and have Retsuko hijack his limo. Their destination, the karoke bar! And that’s when Retsuko released out everything through METAL! In short, Retsuko and Tadano split up. So she’s (once again) back at square one. But it was fun, right?! Wow, this is pretty…real to me. In fact, it’s almost on Bojack Horseman levels. Yeah, you can tell I’ve dived into Netflix. Cartoons with cute animals in it…but they deal with adult issues. Yeah, animation’s not always for kids (otherwise I would have watched a lot more Ralph Bakshi when I was 7). Anyways, this anime does speak to me and just about anyone with a job that causes you immense stress. Retsuko gets the shit-deal at her work which causes her to vent it out in a karaoke booth. A job that chips away at you every single day you’re there. Disappointment of every variety when some shred of hope pops through. Workers who take advantage of the hard work you put in. Drunk boss that stumbles into work late and passes out hungover. Working 10 hour days with no overtime pay! Having that drunk idiot boss always calling in sick because he’s hungover from the night before. Whoops, those last three were my bad experiences with a bad job. The working world can be cruel. I’m glad I left that nightmare job for the good old store that rhymes with Mole Goods. It has its ups and downs but it’s been kind enough to me for me to stay in the company for almost 12 years at this point and time. But everyone has their own reasons for staying at a job that abuses you. Mostly survival! Retsuko wishes that she could find a rich husband so that she could quit this horrible job. Don’t we all? Sadly things can’t be like the way they were in post-war era United States (or so I imagine). In my case, the middle class is a gangrene arm ready to be chopped off, cost of college is expeninential and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to pay off my student loans 30 years after I die. Depending on what economic world you’re in, it’s almost impossible to quit your stable job to be a housewife. Unless you’re Marge Simpson or part of the elite 1% there’s no fucking way. And then Tadano shows up! But funny thing, money can’t buy you happiness! Sure it’s great if you could find a sugar daddy husband, but if there’s no real love or compatibility, it’s not gonna last. The love issues Retsuko had these last two seasons…I can’t really relate. Thankfully, my mother is not as neurotic about me finding a husband. As I have been butt-fucked in the relationship department, I don’t give a shit about finding a mate (at the moment) and my mother has accepted that. And I’ve never really felt anything for workmates nor have I ever met a young entrapeneur. I’m sure other people can relate to some of these issues, but not me. Thankfully we see different views on marriage from different characters. Fenneko believes people her age don’t even think about it and hopefully they’ll be the generation to kill the idea of marriage, Haida is still a hopeless romantic when it comes to Retsuko, Gouri will get back up after being heartbroken time and time again, Washimi thinks marriage isn’t worth it and even sheds light on an old marriage during the second season, Ton is married and has two kids (though he seems pretty put-off by them), and then you have Kabae who has a husband and three little kids and she’s happy with her family every single day! Back to the working world topic, Aggretsuko showed how much the working world impacts us. Without having a character say it, this anime brought out many thoughts when we see many of these characters. For example, Anai! Many fans hated this guy the second he started cyber-bullying Retsuko. But others see Anai as a guy with the adult world finally crushing down on him. An ugly glimpse at how life can be (particularly in Japan). He’s fresh out of college and sometimes college does NOT prepare you for the real working world. And as we all know this cruel statistic, Japan has the highest rate of suicides in several age brakets in the world. Including young teenagers! An atmosphere of failure can cause one to do that or act erraticly. Aggretsuko doesn’t necessarily say this, but it’s very much felt that it’s implied if you think about it. Yes, I still find Anai to be a bit of that millennial shit that feels offended by anything even when a co-worker is trying to help them. But if you think about it, all of this feels new and scary. I’m sure everybody in the office at the beginning of their job experience had felt this scary feeling before. Man, these shows really get me to think a bit! I do recommend this anime to just about anyone. Just note that this anime is NOT as depressing as Bojack Horseman. But it can get real at times that makes you step back and say, “Wow, I can totally relate.” And to anyone who is a total metal-head (like me) might enjoy those parts when Retsuko screams into a microphone. This anime is only available through Netflix. It shouldn’t take you too long to finish though as each episode is approximately 15 minutes each and there’s only 20 episodes overall (+ one special). Okay, now that Aggretsuko is done...what's next?

Little Witch Academia it is!

#aggretsuko #aggresive retsuko #anime review #retsuko #haida #tadano #resasuke #fenneko #director ton #anai

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beesmygod · 6 years ago

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this is what riverdale is about (part 3)

part 1

part 2

first, i have to start this description of the first season by begging you to stay with me for all 3 seasons; the first season is hilariously quaint in hindsight to whatever the fuck i just watched in season 3. the first season does deal with some weirdly heavy subjects for a comic that was at one point about getting a malt down at the shop with your best girl (for example, a plot point in season 1 is a predatory teacher/student relationship) but the third season is freaked out on pcp comparatively. the descent into madness this show demonstrates as time goes on should act as a warning to all who desire to write fanfiction: there but for the grace of god goes YOU.

anyway, my approach to doing this is that i will describe each episode of the season briefly. in some episodes, nothing of major consequence happens. in some, i will describe interactions i found especially bizarre or accidentally funny or iconic. you may want to keep the list of characters handy but i will try to explain the new, incidental ones as they pop up.

an odd side note: you will notice many of the episode titles are taken from movie titles. “riverdale” LOVES making references to movies. i mean hell, so do i, but you will notice some of the references are............on the nose.

images are from the riverdale wiki

SEASON ONE (PART 1):

the river’s edge: jughead, as the series narrator, describes a july 4th boating incident that led to the death of jason blossom, cheryl’s twin brother. cheryl is found by some off-brand boy scouts on the riverbank looking like a fabulous drowned rat. when the town comes to gawk at the spectacle, betty’s mother is hella pumped at the idea of jason being dead because he broke up with betty’s sister, polly (betty’s mom is later revealed to be prejudiced against all redheads, including archie). jason’s body is not recovered.

veronica and her mother arrive at riverdale to stay in a 5 star hotel that inexplicably exists in this podunk little shithole of a town. they discuss her father’s recent arrest for various financial crimes and decide to get a burger. betty, across town, is thinking the same thing...but love is on her mind...

betty wants to confess her feelings to archie, who she watches dress from the house next door. he is huge and beefy, having worked on his dad’s construction site during the summer. betty on the other hand, organized a toni morrison release party (?!), which she describes to archie as they catch up over a burger. archie wants to make music now. music is the ONLY thing that gives his life meaning (spoilers: he only feels this way for about half a season), except for football. betty is about to confess her feelings but veronica busts the door open and ruins everything.

there is an insane scene here where veronica meets kevin at school the next day and “concludes” he’s gay using her powers of deduction and also the fact that he talked to her about a gay bar in town (i cannot believe the riverdale gay bar has never come up again wtf). based on this information alone, she wants to be best friends. great stuff.

archie tries to join the pussycats and they tell him to fuck right off. josie gets a weird monologue about her cat ears. archie makes weird eye contact with the music teacher at riverdale high, ms. grundy (who is like 22 years old and hot now, instead of ancient and withered), who is revealed to have had a VERY uncomfortable sexual relationship with him. the visual coding of the flashback scene is bananas; she’s wearing the heart-shaped pink “lolita” glasses from the kubrick movie.

through a flashback scene, it is revealed that one of archie and grundy’s sexual trysts that took place on the date and location jason died was interrupted by a gunshot. meanwhile, betty and veronica gay kiss to try to get on the cheerleading team but cheryl is unimpressed, commenting that it is SO 1990s. nevertheless, they make the team.

at the semi-formal, betty confesses to archie, who reacts like she handed him a dead fish wrapped in newspaper. cheryl thinks this is hella funny and sets up a scenario at her after party that gets veronica and archie together for a round of “7 minutes in heaven”. betty flees. jughead writes his novel in pop tate’s chocklit shoppe. kevin and moose (a closeted football player) try to fuck down by the murder river but the mood is ruined by jason’s body floating to the shore.

OKAY that’s the longest one. we had to establish a bunch of shit. stick with me now.

a touch of evil: archie confronts grundy about the gunshot they heard, now that it is certain that jason was killed by a gunshot to the head. betty and archie make up and become friends again, beginning the cycle of riverdale drama that wraps itself up in less than 12 hours. cheryl uses the school p.a. system to demand the killer reveal himself so they can put him in the chair. alice cooper pays off the mortician for information about jason’s corpse so she can run an expose about the murder in the front page of the local newspaper. jughead witnesses archie sharing a way too intimate hug with grundy. veronica’s mom works at pop tate’s and meets archie for the first time at work, commenting on how handsome he is, like his father. archie andrews is certified milf-bait for whatever reason.

betty invites cheryl to her house for mani-pedis to spite veronica. cheryl uses the opportunity to accuse betty’s sister of killing jason. betty responds by telling cheryl to get out or she’ll fucking kill her. normal stuff. meanwhile, jughead confronts archie about grundy and finds out pretty much everything, from the inappropriate relationship to the gunshot. he urges archie to go to the cops but archie won’t do it because *~what he and grundy has is sPeCiAl~*. jughead tells archie he’s a fucking idiot and brushes off archie’s attempts to threaten him.

betty asks about her sister, who is revealed to be in a mental hospital in a catatonic state as a result of the relationship breakdown between her and jason.

jughead gets brutally owned by jocks who call him “donnie darko” and “suicide squad” while implying he fucked jason’s corpse. archie defends jughead and they make up right before the pep rally. the heartless bastards at riverdale high inexplicably gave archie jason’s football jersey instead of retiring it and cheryl has a real meltdown about her brother’s death, fleeing into the girl’s locker room to sob her heart out. she confesses to veronica, the only person who goes to comfort her, that jason was supposed to come back.

the next day, the cops arrest cheryl in the middle of class and handcuff her. it turns out jason didn’t die july 4th, but a week after.

body double: despite confessing to being guilty at the end of the last ep, cheryl starts this ep by saying “let me clarify what i meant by guilty” which is the first of many times riverdale immediately recons its own writing for no apparent reason. cheryl confesses she lied about what happened the day of his disappearance; they weren’t simply having a little boat ride, but trying to facilitate jason’s escape to a farm away from the clutches of his family. he was supposed to contact cheryl once he got somewhere safe, but he didn’t. meanwhile, betty’s mom apparently didn’t get the “not guilty” memo and publishes a sensational article about jason accusing cheryl of being the murderer. through this, it is revealed to the audience that betty’s mom and dad own and operate the local newspaper. just them. no one else. cool.

archie finally tells the sheriff about the gunshot but lies about grundy’s existence. kevin comments offhandedly that everyone should re-watch “making a murderer” on netflix, making this what i think is the first plug of an irl property/brand in the show. from here on out they get more brazen and batshit. veronica reveals she has a date with the football coach’s son, chuck clayton, but everyone warns her he’s a player. betty re-opens the school newspaper to compete with her parents and get the REAL story out. she hires jughead to interview the kids who found cheryl the day jason disappeared.

okay, dear readers, please listen to me attempt to explain the next part of this episode. veronica goes on a chaste date with chuck which ends in some light making out. the next day, it is all over social media that chuck gave her a “sticky maple” which is, as far as i can tell, some maple syrup photoshopped onto a photo of her to replicate cum. this is impossible to explain via text, so please look at this helpful screencap.

the theme of this episode suddenly sidewinds from “we must solve jasons murder” to “we must avenge veronica being slut-shamed”. they consider going to the authorities briefly but decide to storm into the boys locker room which accomplishes nothing. this story line is briefly put on hold so jughead can unsuccessfully interview some not-boy scouts and cheryl can repay archie’s attempt to clear her name by setting him up with music lessons from josie and the pussycats.

ethel muggs, a slightly more unpopular and more dowdy girl who pops up from time to time in the plot over the course of the three seasons, reveals that she is one of chuck’s victims too. she tells of a “playbook” kept by chuck that details sex acts the football team engages in (presumably with girls and not each other).

jughead successfully squeezes a not-boy scout into revealing that the scoutmaster (who is like a 15 year old boy) fired the shot everyone heard at the river, but he was just practicing on targets he set up. the scoutmaster is a hardcore survivalist (a fact that becomes vital in later seasons). so ultimately the gunshot meant nothing.

archie offers to write songs for the pussycats and josie tells him to shut the fuck up, white boy.

kevin, betty, veronica and ethel break into the school after hours to find the playbook. cheryl inexplicably shows up wearing red thigh high boots to help them. no one except for me, the audience, is excited about this development. the book they find reveals that jason had a sexual relationship with betty’s sister, implying a sort of pump and dump situation between the two. betty goes apeshit and pledges revenge against chuck.

okay. just. stay with me now.

betty puts on red lipstick and somehow successfully convinces chuck to have sex with her at ethel’s house while ethel and her parents are out of town. when chuck arrives, veronica is there, claiming that she and betty want to “share” chuck. i cannot believe he falls for this for real. betty then comes out wearing a uma thurman “pulp fiction” wig and lingerie.

betty then roofies chuck, who wakes up handcuffed to the hot tub. while veronica records the scene, betty threatens to boil him alive in the hot tub and waterboards him with maple syrup unless he confesses to his crimes, the crimes of jason and for “destroying her”. after torturing him for an uncomfortable amount of time, they take their evidence to the principal. why they didn’t just do this in the first place i’ll never know. anyway chuck leaves the school and cheryl says, out loud, “#justiceforethel”.

meanwhile, archie gets a soundproof place in the garage to practice his music after spending the episode arguing with his dad. dilton doiley, the scoutmaster, tells jughead and betty he saw grundy’s car at the river the day of jason disappearance. episode END.

this turned out to be so much longer than i thought it would be, so i’m splitting it here. these are so long im sorry. god bless you and im sorry you had to read this. we still have like 10 eps left. i didnt know it would be like this but i need you to understand and believe how insane this series is.

thanks for readin

#riverdale

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starlight-matrix · 5 years ago

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Nabari no Ou 15th Anniversary!

@nabaridays wrote up some prompts to celebrate the 15th anniversary of NnO and as it’s my favorite manga series of all time, I had to join the fun!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of the prompts’ existence until we were about four or five days in, so instead of starting in the middle of the prompt list, I wrote all mine up in a Google Doc and decided to do a big masterpost in the day of the anniversary. And here it is! Beware for a lot of reading, this shit’s at 4.1k words.

- Catherine Lynne / catielynnelove.tumblr.com Fan of NnO since 2012 -

DAY 01 (Jun. 3rd) - Favorites

My favorite character has always been Miharu, though I do struggle to choose between him and Yoite. I have always been fascinated by his apathetic nature, the way he uses is as a shield while loving the people in his life so incredibly fiercely. He appears neutral and uncaring, but the moment you look beneath the surface, you recognize that he would give his life for those he loves in a heartbeat - and has shown this on multiple occasions.

I also love his development over the series. His apathetic facade slowly falls out of use after he meets Yoite, and he learns that feeling your emotions is important, that letting the people you love know when you’re happy or sad or pissed the fuck off is important.

In the first few chapters we as readers honestly can’t tell a whole heck of a lot from what we’re shown of Miharu. He’s plain, uninteresting, even to us (unless you’re the kind of person who automatically reads between the lines, but let’s face it, not a lot of people are). But by the end of the series, he’s such a vibrant and expressive character that I marvel at Kamatani’s ability to drastically a character’s personality in a way that feels so gradual and natural.

Another reason Miharu is my favorite character is because I tend to see parts of myself in him, as many people do with the characters they like most. I can understand and relate to his apathy in the beginning of the story. His memory of his parents deaths is so deeply traumatic and that the very fibre of his being (objectively, Shinra) locked the memory, and most of his childhood, away for years to come. Because at that time in his life, the pain of it all would’ve broken him.

(E/N: I now remember that Asahi actually erased Miharu’s memories of that event, but I think a good chunk of this will still make sense, and I’m lazy, so I’m not gonna edit it out. Enjoy.)

Emotions, especially ones he didn’t understand - or couldn’t understand, like his feelings toward his childhood that didn’t quite make sense because of his augmented memories - were simply so overwhelming that Miharu pretty much just went “lol don’t wanna deal with those so yEET now they’re gone” and locked them up in a box to be dealt with at a much, much later date. That speaks to me, as a person who has struggled with depression, and the fact that he finds a way to recover from this is very reassuring.

Overall, Miharu is a very complex and realistic character that undergoes more vivid character development than I’ve seen in almost any western media. I love him very much.

DAY 02 (Jun. 4th) - What got you into Nabari no Ou?

This is actually quite a funny story, so buckle up for a wild ride y’all!

When I was 12 years old (God, this sounds like the setup for an angsty villain backstory), my family had a housemate who liked anime. One day I came to beg for him to let me use his video game console to play Little Big Planet and he happened to be watching the second half of the anime - I distinctly remember the second Alya Academy episode being the first one I ever saw. It was my first anime experience outside of a Studio Ghibli film, and to this day remains close to my heart, even though the anime adaptation itself really… just… well, it sucked.

After I finished watching it with him, I went and found the first half of the series on Netflix (back when Netflix did the whole send-a-DVD-to-your-house thing) and watched the whole thing from episode one. And then very quickly became obsessed. I probably watched the anime four times in two months. I had every single one of the English VAs names memorized. I was dedicated.

Eventually I looked up the manga online, and HOO BOI, this is the point where my Nabari no Ou origin story becomes ridiculously hilarious (and stupid).

When I read the manga, I was disturbed by the idea of Kouichi being a villain-type character, as he had been one of my favorites when I watched the anime. And, at the time I was first reading the manga, the apparent “ending” from my perspective was the scene where Kouichi takes the newly-made hijutsu scroll from a bleeding, dying Thobari.

Looking back, I figure the website I was reading it on just didn’t have all the chapters, or perhaps I had happened to start reading while the manga was on hiatus, but at that age I didn’t know of or understand either of those concepts and accepted that sad scene as the end of the manga.

And as such, I wrote the manga off as terrible and ignored it for years.

Flash forward to about 2014, two or three years after writing the manga off as a Fat Mistake, I finally decided to give it another shot. And BY GOD did I cry reading it a second time. Whether it was the two years of maturity, my experiences during those two years, or simply the fact that I read the whole thing that time - I was sobbing in my desk chair over NnO.

It was the most beautiful story I’d ever read. Even now, after five more years of reading beautiful manga, Nabari no Ou remains my absolute favorite, and likely always will.

DAY 03 - What are your favorite scenes?

I’ve always had a soft spot for the Alya Academy arc, even back when all I’d shunned the manga and all I had to go off of was the inaccurate anime adaptation, simply because of how well the character relationships are shown during those sequences (this is one thing the anime did really well in my opinion, actually - Shijima’s verbal reflection on how humans connect to each other and how important those connections are is stunning). Not to mention the displays of how the characters care for one another regardless of what side of the war they’re technically on.

I’ve always loved Subaru as a character, too. I find her motivations to be very realistic and really quite understandable, and I love the little easter eggs in later chapters that imply the Kouga ninja are helping Miharu’s side of the fight even though they’re not visibly involved. The scores from the Alya Academy arc are especially chilling and memorable as well.

Another of my favorites are the chapters following Miharu and Yoite’s escape from the Kairoshuu and their travels afterward. They feel mundane and peaceful, yet blanketed with this layer of grief, like we’re all aware that at any moment their calm could be destroyed and lost forever.

The scenes about Yoite’s gender were very special to me as a teen still learning about the LGBT spectrum and how different people could be, and the scene of Yoite bandaging Miharu’s aching feet? My heart literally swells every single time I think about it! It was so sweet and loving, my fragile fangirl heart does flips when I read over it.

DAY 04 (Jun. 6th) - Photos & Fashion

I like to think that Miharu keeps every photograph he’s taken and has them stored safely away in a box or chest or drawer. In my experience, people who have lost loved ones tend to treasure photographs, more than someone who hasn’t experienced loss might. A lot of times a photo is all someone has of someone they loved outside of a memory, and contrary to popular belief, if you don’t look at someone - physically or in a photo - for a long time, you do forget how they look.

Miharu has lost many people: his parents, Yoite, Kouichi and Shijima, even Shinra, in a way - so I imagine this observation would be doubly true of him. Especially if he has Yukimi as an example to go by - pretty sure that guy has kept every photograph he’s ever taken in his life!

(As far as fashion goes, I honestly think everyone’s fashion in NnO is horrendous, so...)

DAY 05 (Jun. 7th) - Favorite character design in the series?

Gosh, it’s hard to choose, I love so many of them! Gau is fascinating to me because I figure his hair must be difficult to draw, with all those little curls and cowlicks. Shijima’s too, with the way it frames her face and leaves just a tiny little opening for her eyes to peer out at you through.

But, as with most of these character-specific prompts, my answer will have to be Miharu. The idea that Asahi reshaped his face to look more like her own when she used Shinra to save him is very interesting, and the fact that Kamatani manages to draw Miharu in a way that both clearly shows their resemblance to one another and establishes Miharu as his own character with his own unique features and gestures and ways of carrying himself is incredible.

Miharu’s stance are also very telling to me as a reader: he often stands loosely, almost lazily, as if he really couldn’t care less about where he is and what they’re doing, which rings true for a good chunk of the story. It matches well with his (mostly) fake apathy and kind of makes him seem bland and boring as a character. But as the story progresses, he becomes more open, shows affection more easily. He’s quicker to stand up for his beliefs and the people he loves. All of this shows in the way he carries himself throughout later chapters.

DAY 06 (Jun. 8th) - Favorite location in the series?

The Shimizu estate, without a doubt.

The secluded area, the forest in every direction, the house itself - it’s all so beautiful to me. Ot gives me the feeling of rural Japan and more traditional Japanese living. Even after the house has burned away and all that’s left is a field full of Spider Lilies, there’s a kind of sober beauty lying over the place, made even more intense when Shirogamon stands watch over it.

DAY 07 (Jun. 9th) - Positive Influences

The thing that I preach about the most when I talk about NnO to others is the fact that the series has no absolutes. There is no true right or wrong, no clear villains nothing that actually puts our heroes above anyone else. Which, in a way, means that are really are no heroes in the story at all, which is a very rare and interesting way to tell a story.

The entire series deal with a greyscale in morality. There’s no bad vs. good or moral vs. immoral, just your own goals and people whose goals don’t match yours. Opinions and ambitions differ vastly even between people on the same side of the fight - Thobari and Raimei want to seal the Shinrabanshou, Kouichi wants to use it to defeat his immortality, Miharu even changes side on a few occasions - yet they all work together together to achieve their own very different ends.

Even those who can be coded as villain on the surface have something motivating them to do what they do, and more often than not, those motivations are understandable to the reader and actually have you sympathizing with the character. Hattori wanted to rid the world of the need for war. Subaru wanted to save the person she loved most in the world. Yamase wanted to win his family back (I think? It’s been a while).

Even Katarou and Kannuki, two characters who have practically nothing to redeem them, at least have motivations that are pretty damn realistic. Kannuki wanted to capitalize on Kouga’s Forbidden Art and use it to grow Alya Academy’s profit and power through the surface world. A Lot of people are like this in real life, and while you may not sympathize with him over it, it is a motivation that is true of our own world as well as the one in this story.

An Katarou, as far as I understand, is obsessed with Shinra herself, rather than the hijutsu and the power it holds. He manipulated hundreds of people and hundreds of situations to suit his own needs, then literally got himself killed - just to see her one last time. And… yeah, I don’t think anyone really sympathized with him, but hey, I can see what pushed him to do what he did.

To me, Katarou is symbolic of someone with an addiction - their mind is so clouded by a need for some specific thing that all other human aspects of that person just fall away, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want.

I also appreciate how the characters handle their differences throughout the story. Their honesty with each other, the way they support each other even when they’re all heading in opposite direction. The Alya Academy arc (I really love this arc okay) especially shows this, in how the ninja from Banten and Kairoshuu - two very opposing factions - fight together against the Kouga without hesitation, despite the fact that in most other situations, they’d be fighting each other.

It’s a wonderful thing to promote: that even though people might have different opinions or goals, it doesn’t mean they have to hate each other.

DAY 08 (Jun. 10th) - Favorite Extra?

I am IN LOVE with the little between-chapter 4koma pieces, especially the ones from the Alya Academy arc (God, I’ve talked so much about this arc). Subaru fantasizing about Miharu being her little brother and making her birthday cake? Adorable. Miharu and Yoite getting stuck behind a bookshelf and terrifying an opponent by asking for help out? Hilarious.

I love that Kamatani put those in, both as a peek into happier aspects of the world he created, and as a way to add a bit of sun in between the much darker, much sadder chapters.

DAY 09 (Jun. 11th) - Headcanons

I’m not much of a headcanon person, to be honest, and especially not with this series. It feels off to me, to try and add to something that’s already so perfect. However, I do agree with a couple of headcanons I’ve seen - particularly the ones theorizing that Yukimi is aro-ace. It makes a lot of sense to me in how his character is portrayed when nearly every other character in the series has a romantic match, and as an ace person myself, more representation is always welcome.

DAY 10 (Jun. 12th) - Alternate Universe

I once started (and quickly abandoned out of shame) a very cringey, very out-of-character fanfic, in which the Nabari world didn’t exist and all the characters meet through natural means in the surface world. Other than that, however, I’ve not put much thought into Nabari no Ou AUs.

But something I would LOVE to see is a crossover between NnO and Shimanami Tasogare, as the two stores canonically take place in the same location - NnO being in Banten, a fictional town based on the real town of Onomichi, and Shimanami Tasogare being confirmed to take place in plain old Onomichi itself. It’s been a while since I’ve read Shimanami Tasogare, but I remember the leader/owner of the little house the cast gathers in as giving me a distinctly Nabari-world vibe, and I think it would be interesting to see the NnO characters react to a community like the one presented in Shimanami Tasogare.

(And also perhaps have some romantic relationships and sexualities proven canon. Perhaps.)

DAY 11 (Jun. 13th) - Favorite song from the OST?

It’s a firm tie between the opening theme and the second ending theme. I have every song in the OST memorized after years of hearing them day in and day out, but those two themes always give me this tingling nostalgic feeling, like rereading a book from your childhood or finding a toy as an adult that you’d thought was lost forever. The animation and symbolism in those themes are also very telling of the series and the character’s connections to each other (a bit obviously, at times), and the lyrics are special to me in a way I can’t describe. They’re precious to me, and to me experience of NnO as a whole, considering I started with the anime first (a bad idea).

DAY 12 (Jun. 14th) - Are there any songs that make you think of NnO?

“Neopolitan Dreams” by Lisa Mitchell ( X ) ( X )

I once watched a cute Raimei/Kouichi AMV set to this song listened to the lyrics, I understood how the author had put them together. I very much feel like the lyrics echo Raimei’s thoughts on how Kouichi starts to act in later chapters, becoming more and more distant until he almost appears to be an antagonist rather than one of the perceived heroes. The song also makes me think of Raimei’s stubbornness and pride, her unwillingness to accept option besides her own conclusions until she’s had the full story and nothing less.

I can never get their faces out of my head while listening to this song, which I guess means the song reminds me more of Raimei and Kouichi than NnO in general, but it still counts, right?

DAY 13 (Jun. 15th) - Food

I’ve never really thought too hard on it, but now that I am, it’s actually very interesting to note how different characters use food - the Rokujo Okonomiyaki shop, in particular - to their advantage.

Thobari uses his (implied, before the start of the overall plot) regular visits to try and get Miharu to believe him about the Shinrabanshou and the Nabari world. Thobari uses the close proximity to explain his motives to Miharu, who physically cannot leave the situation, lest the food burn to a damn crisp (and I figure Naoko wouldn’t be pleased if that happened every time Thobari came in). He also very clearly uses this to keep tabs on Miharu when outside of a school setting where Miharu has no choice to be in Thobari’s sight, and later, as a way to either catch up on what’s going on in the Nabari world or - as in several cases - simply demand answers from Miharu.

Raimei uses the shop as a way to get closer to Miharu. She charms her way into getting free food (and sometimes, free lodging as well) and I assume her thinking is probably something on the lines of “Free Food + Spend Time With Miharu = Information on Where Raikou Might Be.” Of course, this likely isn’t her motive in later chapters, because, well, character development.

Food is also an important bonding thing for Yoite and Yukimi. In a lot of the scenes where we see Yoite and Yukimi in their home, they’re eating together, and I always took it as a display of their familial relationship - cooking dinner for Yoite the way a dutiful older sibling would for their younger sibling - thoughI doubt either of them would admit they’re like brothers. The significance of lemonade should also be noted for this topic - I could go on for ages about it.

(But I won’t unless people ask me to, because this piece is long enough already!)

I don’t have much memory of this scene being as big a deal in the manga as it was in the anime - but I also haven’t seen either in a while, so I could be wrong - but the birthday cake scene from the latter half of the anime left an impact on me even back when I’d only seen the anime, and it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt was “food.” Gau’s pride in the cake he made and his determination to get any kind of praise out of Yoite is very touching, especially when you take into account that Yoite literally saved Gau’s life, and that Gau knows this, as well.

The Kairoshuu - particularly Yukimi, Raikou, Gau, and Kazuho - are all shown bonding on more than one occasion at Kazuho and her husband’s sushi shop, and there is significance to those occasions in the rather heavy conversations they have during those visits. And there’s also the time Miharu cooked okonomiyaki for all the main Kairoshuu member after he’d first joined their clan - similar to how a recently hired employee would bring cookies for their new boss.

Food has a lot of significance in Nabari no Ou, no matter where you look.

DAY 14 (Jun. 16th) - Favorite village, and thoughts on the Forbidden Arts?

As far as morals and motivations go, I would have to choose Banten, as their (or at least Thobari’s) main opinion is that the Shinrabanshou shouldn’t be used because it throws off the balance of the universe. I definitely understand this opinion, because a lot of things can go wrong if the wrong kind of person is making wishes to Shinra and having them granted.

Although, I think that if anyone were to use the ability in a way that leaves the balance of the world intact, it would be Miharu, and this is even shown in the series itself. He doesn’t have the kind of greed or anger that would taint a person’s motivations when making their wishes, he just wants to do what is best for others- especially Yoite. Yoite is important to him, and therefore Yoite’s wish is also important to Miharu. And, as we see in later chapters, Miharu puts granting Yoite’s wish above even his own happiness. I feel I would make a similar decision were I in his shoes.

(For aesthetic, though, I’d choose Fuuma. Their village is hidden and surrounded by forest and in that lovely traditional Japanese style, and their uniforms are great. If Saraba were Chief I’d join.)

DAY 15 (Jun. 17th) - Favorite minor/supporting character

Gau! Definitely Gau! Gosh I love him so much. He’s optimistic and tries his best to look for the best in situations and in people, and his smile is so freaking sunshiney, I bet he lights up rooms with it. He’s awkward and quirky and I can relate so hard. But he’s also strong? He stands up to other ninja even though he really doesn’t have the physical ability to defend himself or others. He puts his life in danger to tell Raimei the truth about her family immediately after swearing silence to Raikou, his boss, who could 100% kill him if he found out Gau had broken his promise. And I bet you Gau would’ve told Raikou about him telling Raimei as soon as he’d gone home, if the bullshit at the Shimizu property hadn’t gone down the way it did.

And speaking of that scene- he throws himself in front of Raikou’s katana to save the life of a girl he hadn’t known for more than a day, who had threatened to kill him, who was seeking to kill the person he treasured most in the world. Who does that?! Gau apparently. He literally gives his life for just the possibility that Raikou and Raimei can make up and be happy siblings again. He gives his life so that the person he loves can maybe reconcile with someone else they loved.

He makes a conscious effort to include Yoite in conversations in which he would otherwise be largely ignored, and while I doubt Yoite would care either way, it’s the thought that counts, right? And, at least in the anime (it’s been a while since I read the manga) he puts his life on the line to help Yoite and Miharu even though, as I said before, he can’t really defend himself all that well.

Basically, I’m in love with Gau and want him to be happy. Sweet baby!

DAY 16 (Jun. 18th) - Free Day

I don’t really have anything else to say but I’m posting all of these today (I was late for the original posting by like four days so I figured I’d write them all out and post them together) so I’ll count this as my day 16 entry! Thank you so much if you’ve read this far, I know it was probably daunting to look at this long as fucking post but I’m glad you took the time to read my personal reflection on NnO! This manga means a lot to me and it’s nice to discover other people who love it as much as I do (I’ve literally met two people in my entire life who’ve read it without me suggesting it).

Keep the love going y’all, I hope to see you again! And feel free to hit me up if you’d like to talk about NnO, I’d love to connect with other fans! Seeya owo

#nabari no ou #nno anniversary prompts

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popwasabi · 5 years ago

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Top 5: Jazz, Taiko Drums, and Hurdy Gurdies. My Favorite TV Intros.

It was not long ago when most streaming sites began offering a “skip intro” option for TV show content. Hell, it seemed some intros to the Netflix, Hulu and Prime content began intentionally making their original openers short and sweet so that viewers could get all the info they needed as quickly as possible.

These were welcome changes for most binge watchers who sometimes watch entire seasons of their favorite shows within a day’s time not wanting to waste time on seeing the same names on the opening credits over and over again.

(Yes, God damn it! I’m a slave to the stream!!)

Though this has been convenient for myself more than a few times I for one enjoy the artistic quality of a good TV show opener. It’s part music video, part amalgamation of everything stylistically and tonally you need to know about a series and a truly great opener can hook a fan to a show for life.

There are many shows, no matter how many times I watch them, I’ll never skip the intro too because they sum up everything I love about the series in a single 30 second to minute and a half long video and hey some of those songs really do “slap” as the kids say.

So, let’s talk a little bit about some of my favorite intros and why I love them so much in this week’s top 5.

Note: This isn’t just a discussion of the music used but the opening credits and imagery used to accompany it.

5. Cowboy Bebop

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There’s a long list of truly great anime openers out there from the Karaoke-friendly J-pop tunes of “Neon Genesis Evangelion’s” “Cruel Angel’s Thesis” to the classic 80s vibes of Akira Toriyama’s “Dragon Ball” and “Dragon Ball Z.” But only one anime is going to make the cut for this list and that’s “Tank!” from the 90s classic “Cowboy Bebop.” It’s truly unique in the anime landscape as its one of the few that features Jazz and an opening that doesn’t overly rely on the tropes of more traditional anime drawing its influence instead from 60s and 70s spy movies and aesthetics. Fans of “Archer” will likely notice similar motifs in that shows own opening and Bebop’s “Tank!” is all about exuding this “cool” vibe of its show’s primary characters the fun and often dangerous missions they get involved in. It’s a hip, unique take that stands out distinctly in its genre and a truly un-skippable tune during a binge watch.

4. Star Trek: The Next Generation

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I think the first time I truly fell in love with a TV opener was watching the show I gained my namesake from.

Yes, I’m named after Wesley Crusher.

I know, I know.

Anyways, there’s something special about this intro and it’s not just its nostalgia or classic Star Trek vibes but the hopeful adventurousness of the music’s tone. “Star Trek” has always been about an optimist’s view of the future, a world where people of multiple creeds, backgrounds, races, species in this case come together not to fight but to explore the furthest reaches of the cosmos.

The music always got me in the mood to watch Captain Picard, Data, and Riker to go do there thing whether it was as banal as negotiating a dispute in the neutral zone, fun and often weird times on the holodeck, or taking on the dreaded borg. The music accompanied by the venerable Patrick Stewart’s brilliant voiceover and the sprawling, albeit dated, graphics of space helped make TNG iconic and I’ll never consider skipping it on a binge watch.

3. Penny Dreadful

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Though it’s later seasons never held up nearly as well as its first I became instantly hooked on Showtime’s “Penny Dreadful” largely because of Abel Korseniowski’s brilliant score, particularly the intro he wrote for the show.

Korseniowski’s use of classical and gothic tunes helped bring viewers back to horror’s more Victorian roots in the best of ways with an opener that felt touching, somber, emotional and chilling all at once. The images splashing across the screen of various classic monsters, arachnids, and ghouls as the haunting soundtrack played immediately drew me into the story in the same way the young Dr. Frankenstein in the show could not look away from the horrors uncovered in the narrative. It perfectly captures the ghoulish, dramatic charm of the show and though its later storylines don’t hold up as well it’s another intro that is undeniably un-skippable.

2. Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009)

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Bear McCreary is probably my favorite composer of all-time and his work on the Battlestar Galactica reboot is a big reason why.

Though he wasn’t the initial composer on the two-episode mini-series in 2003, the themes, motifs and tones he took from Richard Gibbs work he quickly made his own and created a unique outlier in the science fiction music landscape that has defined his style ever since. The opener is a big reason why his work resonates so much with me because it captures much of the these unique tones and styles not just of the music but of the series’ story itself.

It begins slow like the opening crawl to a great mythical odydessy and tale of survival as we see the last days of civilization play out across the screen. As spaceships begin to caravan across the screen we get a sense of the desperation of the story’s heroes and the stakes they are up against and as it begins to close that’s when the percussion goes into full gear. The use of taiko drums in the soundtrack is brilliant and none more so than this opener as its speeds through frenetically the events of the episode giving us only passing glimpses of the action that is about to take place. It might feel like a spoiler for the narrative but it gave each episode that extra jolt before stepping back into the story and I enjoyed it every single time.

1. Black Sails

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I knew I was going to love “Black Sails” the minute the opening credits began.

The scratchy, aggravating yet hypnotic tunes of the hurdy gurdy playing over the creepy, blackness of the ocean gave the series an immediate dark and unique tone I wasn’t immediately expecting when I began watching the series. I had heard bits and pieces about the show’s plot; a sort of prequel to “Treasure Island” and an edgier take on the prototypical Pirate story is all I knew about it going in but the opener lets you know pretty much immediately this isn’t your typical tale of swashbuckling buccaneers. Like a twisted sea shanty mixed together with a pirate themed rock bank, “Black Sails” intro is dare I say a banger that has you howling along to the righteous vocals of music in the most epic of ways.

But the music truly captures the tone and theme of the story in more subtle ways as well. Like an itch you can’t scratch the music tell it’s viewer and listener of a rage lingering deep beneath the surface of the waves of its main characters, one that’s barely being contained as the music hits these powerful offbeat notes between the electric guitar play and the offkey piano drops. As the series progresses you begin to understand more who and what it’s describing it makes the series that much more memorable.

It didn’t surprise me in the least that Bear McCreary was the man behind the brilliance of this piece and it makes each episodes’ opening a must watch.

So, what are your favorite intros? What music paired with a unique and captivating opening title crawl captured your imagination and emotions the most? Let’s hear it!

Me in my car to any of these songs. All the time...

#Black Sails #Star Trek #Star Trek TNG #battlestar galactica #cowboy bebop #Anime #TV #netflix #hulu #Amazon Prime #Disney #Penny Dreadful #bear mccreary

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proofthatihaveaheart · 5 years ago

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2019 fic recs

it’s been a long time since i did a fic rec list so i put one together with some of my favorite fics from this year (and then forgot to post it for a month oops). i’ve been reading in a lot of fandoms so there’s a bunch of variety in this one. also because i read a ton of cap marvel fics earlier in the year, i’m going to do a separate list for those

[1 Coco, 5 Good Omens, 1 Lucifer, 5 Marvel, 1 She-Ra, 3 Steven Universe]

Coco

Work of All Saints by anistar_e (210k): Her mother sends her a letter, after. We cannot help you, Imelda, it says. You are the consequence of your actions."This is not my fault!" Imelda shouts.-Imelda Rivera (b. 1899 - d. 1969), a story that includes but is not limited to: the finest music school this side of the Santo Domingo, three traveling musicians and the mess they made of love, the twice-cursed assassination of Venustiano Carranza, all the patron saints, and ninety-six ways a man can try to cross a bridge. (A masterpiece of character, world-building, development, just everything you could possibly want from a fic and a novel, it is a grand epic that is personal in scope, truly spectacular)

Good Omens

A Stone’s Throw from Jerusalem by RC_McLachlan (Aziraphale/Crowley, 2k): "Are you honestly going to make me listen to bebop in my final moments?” [Absolutely beautiful with just the right amount of aching heartbreak and pining, and this acute awareness that they live on different scales than humans.]

damn.nation, now available on itunes by anistar_e (10k): When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. // This, it turns out, was a bad plan. [The character work is so strong, she paints such a clear vision of Amphora and it’s very easy to fall in love with her. This is the best example of outsider POV of OTP that I’ve seen.]

Salinity (And Other Measurements of Brackish Water) by drawlight (Aziraphale/Crowley, 3k): It's an odd thing, getting on after the End of the World. Crowley takes to sea-watching. [This fic reads like poetry, it’s absolutely beautiful with a very good central metaphor. Also Crowley cooking.]

stars, hide your fires by fishycorvid (Aziraphale/Crowley, 3k): He can feel the pull of the riptide, even in water like this, only a few centimeters deep. The constant, assured call of the ocean: you came from me, and, one day, you will come back. Crowley smiles to himself at that, the water rushing insistently against his fingertips. He hadn’t come from the sea, of course. But he doesn’t think he’d mind much if he had. / “Crowley.” / He goes still at the sound, eyes falling closed. [Beautiful missing scene, I love the emotions and the imagery and the descriptions of the Pacific Northwest and how this fic is just them.]

vintage demon art, vape pens, & other treasures by kyrilu (Aziraphale/Crowley, 1k): Love, Anthony J. Crowley is aware, is a very foolish thing. He’s seen humans do stupid things based on love or lust, whether it’s tacky Disney movie themed weddings, internet catfishing, or matching couple shirts. [I love this, it’s formatted as several short vignettes about the pair and how Crowley very much doesn’t feel love - except he does, he loves an angel. It’s delightful and beautiful and poignant.]

Lucifer

And There Was Light by ariaadagio (Lucifer/Chloe, 143k): When Lucifer Morningstar is found half dead in the desert, Chloe Decker is determined to find out why. The problem is ... not even Lucifer knows the answer. As Chloe's world is flipped upside down by incontrovertible evidence of the divine, Lucifer grapples with feelings of violation and futility. God's meddling has started a chain reaction, but to what end? Deckerstar. Fits with canon through S2. [I love this beautiful masterpiece of a fic. Excellent characterization, spectacular plotting, and a very delicious slow-burn, this fic deals with Chloe finding out Lucifer’s divinity while Lucifer deals with fate and free will and having his wings again.]

Marvel (Misc)

Adjectives Assemble by SugarFey (26k): Natasha wants to find that rare edition of The Master and Margarita before her rival at the Russian language bookstore does. Kate is distracted by the cute barista next door. Carol and Jessica dance around each other. Maria just wants to keep her business afloat without being bothered by pesky police officers or high school art teachers, no matter how polite they may be. Another average day at Adjectives Assemble. [Multiple ships and POVs, lots of awesome ladies dealing with feelings and trying to save an indie bookstore, it’s just a delightful fic to read.]

in oakland by hupsoonheng (Sam/Erik, 11k): in the summer of 1998, the good reverend wilson is shot dead, and darlene wilson runs away from her grief all the way to oakland, california, taking her oldest with her. sam hates her, he hates oakland, and he definitely hates the pretty-eyed neighbor boy who's been volunteered to show him around. it's up to him to make the most of his new situation, but he might need someone to push him. [Not a pairing I ever expected to read, but it’s handled so well, the development of their friendship and then love over the course of a single summer in Oakland as teenagers, like cinematic magic, I couldn’t help but cheer for them.]

Morning Glory by capsicleonyourleft (Tony/Steve, Carol/Jess, 2k): There are a great many things Tony loves about Steve Rogers. His propensity for getting up at the asscrack of dawn, however, is definitely not on that particular list. [Domestic fluff with cute moments, good characterization, and character dynamics that nail them.]

One of the Basic Skills of Civilization (Eddie/Symbiote, 1k): Eddie attempts to civilize the Venom symbiote. [Eddie tries to teach Venom manners by way of Miss Manners. Things don’t go as planned. It’s hilarious and sweet and has a great joke about Amazon]

we were emergencies by gyzym (Clint/Natasha, 37k): It's not about being unmade; it's about remaking, one aching step at a time. [This fic is a classic in the fandom and it’s truly stunning. The way it handles trauma and trust and love is phenomenal, you learn to live with it but it never goes away, and it’s truly the best Clintasha fic.]

She-Ra

plays well with others by Cosanova (Adora/Catra, 4k): Catra may have left the Horde, but that doesn't mean she's ready to join the Rebellion. [Did someone ask for awkward villain redemption? I love this fic and the way Catra navigates the people of Brightmoon and figuring out her feelings for Adora.]

Steven Universe

I Want to Understand by CoreyWW (gen with Steven/Connie and Amethyst/Peridot, 59k): After stopping the Cluster, Peridot must face her next challenge: adjusting to life on her new planet and learning about humans that populate it. Knowing just how out of depth Peridot is, Steven enlists Connie's help in getting Peridot used to humans and acclimated to Beach City. Considering Peridot has no social skills whatsoever, this goes about as well as you'd expect. Funny episodic "Peridot in Beach City" adventures about how Peridot changes over time. Diverges from canon after The Answer (Though by coincidence, the premise of story basically makes this "Log Date 7 15 2: The Series") [What makes this fic so good is the characterization and dialogue. It’s very accurate and the chapters themselves feel like they could be from the show. I especially love the development of Connie and Peridot’s friendship, in addition to Peridot’s own growth and self-reflection.]

Favor for Your Four-Chambered Heart by anistar_e (Jasper/Lapis, 77k): "I don't get it," she says flatly. / "Don't get what?" / "You said we needed to be in peak physical form. What for?" / "Oh!" Peridot perks up. "For harvesting." [Never Let Me Go AU.] [Jaspis isn’t a pairing I considered reading for until I came across this fic and it blew me away with how good it was. This fic hurts, the themes of freedom and self-determination in a world where your only purpose is supposed to be to die for others are beautifully handled, and I love the way all the relationships are written, dynamic and complex and messy. People make mistakes but they’re allowed to grow and become better, and it’s really just so good.]

Set Me Free by cym70 (Lapis/Peridot, 23k): Being roommates gives Lapis and Peridot a lot of time to get to know each other and, despite their rocky history, they might just be able to make something entirely new. [A gorgeous, in-character fic about Lapis healing and falling in love with Peridot. The dialogue is so good, you could really hear their voices, and I love the careful development of their relationship. My favorite Lapidot fic.]

#my current fandom reading trends towards su and she-ra so expect more of those in the future #and maybe i'll find the motivation to write again #i sure hope so anyway #fic recs #monthly fic recs

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seniorsweeney-blog · 5 years ago

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Starting Out: First days are universally the hardest days...

Day 1: August 13, 2019

I arrived in Uganda around 2:30 PM. It was a long journey (12 hours from New York to Dubai and then another 6 hours from Dubai to Entebbe), but we made it safely. Along the way, I watched movies, journaled, and began to read Melinda Gate’s book, The Moment of Lift.

I was greeted at the airport by Ruth, my host, and her cousin George, who I met on my last trip. After about 20 hours of traveling, I felt extremely comforted by a familiar face. We hopped in the car and made our way back to Kampala.

When we made it to Ruth’s house, it felt entirely different than last time. Everything might have looked the same or similar to what it was a year ago. However, during my last trip, I always had Ysabel, a fellow student, by my side experiencing everything. We had been chosen to work the internship together, live together, and be support sources for each other.

This time, I am on own, and being back in Ruth’s house without Ysabel made me confront that reality. Not only am I on my own, but I am also doing a completely independent project. There is no office space for me to go, no strict 9-5 schedule, and no manager assigning my tasks. I am in charge of finding a space to work, creating structure for myself, and finding people to interview.

I tried to fall asleep around 8:00 PM, but I could not help but feel a little overwhelmed by this reality. “What was I doing here?”, I thought. Doubts, worries, and stressors circled my mind and kept me up. This is often what happens to me when I have to deal with uncertainty. My mind thinks of all the things that could go wrong rather than the plan to make it go right. However, I decided to shut that shit down and play a guided meditation for sleep. Sometimes, when confronted with anxiety, this is the best way for me to get through it. The guided meditation urges you to “give your thoughts permission to leave you to take their own journeys for a while and join you again in the morning”. While this seems like the obvious thing to do after a long journey with limited sleep, sometimes it is helpful to have a reminder to tackle your problems when you are well rested.

I woke up again around 1:00 AM and luckily Maddy, a good friend, was around to call and chat. She heard me out, made me feel comforted, and reminded me that I am up for task. Feeling more secure, I fell back asleep and let my mind and body prepare for the next day ahead.

Day 2: August 15th, 2019

Given my anxieties the night before, I really hit the ground running on my second day. I got up and called a friend around 8:00 AM, I ate a breakfast consisting of mango, pineapple, and a fried egg, and then I took a boda to Acacia Mall to get started.

I first tackled the problem of getting an office space. I visited a local coworking space called Tribe Kampala, where many researchers and internationals come to enjoy fast internet and a productive environment. I opened a membership, set up my WiFi, and sat down to work.

Next, I started to make a real tangible action plan. For my senior thesis, I am investigating the roles and experiences of teachers, administrators, policy makers, and nonprofits in integrating the refugee population into the national education through the Education Response Plan (ERP). I intend to start with the schools because they are hardest to reach from abroad and Ruth, my host mom, offered to drive me to these schools because she does not have much going on during the weeks.

While I had prepared a list of schools that I was interested in visiting before coming, I realized that I had to narrow down my target sample to schools that serve refugees. I had read in numerous reports that mentioned 23 schools with the highest refugee populations, but I was having trouble tracking their names.

I first attempted to narrow the sample down by identifying the subdistricts in Kampala with the highest refugee populations and creating a list of schools within those areas. Then, after four hours of work, by the grace of God, I found a list of schools in Kampala and their refugee count in their student population deep in the bottom of a UNHCR update from 2016. While collecting accurate information of the refugee status of students can be difficult because many children choose not to disclose this information, this was a start. With this list, I began mapping out the schools, tracking down their phone numbers, and creating a plan to visit them starting next week.

After working for quite some time, I headed over to Acacia Mall to buy a phone plan. Unfortunately, I forgot that I needed my passport to register so I had to put this task off for the next day. Instead of doing that task, I went to a café, had a passion juice, and practiced on my mental math to prepare for some case interviews that are looming in the fall.

Around dinner time, I met up with Ryan, a recent Princeton graduate currently doing a Princeton in Africa Fellowship which sets you up to work for NGO or Social Enterprise in Africa for a Year. He is working for Rockies, an organization that scouts a talent from across rural Uganda, recruits them for a performance troop, and pays for their training and schooling. He just moved here in the beginning of August and is already being thrown into work from grant writing to logistics.

We went to Meza, my favorite shawarma place in the world, and chatted about our experiences, our transition, and our lives. Then, we went to Wine Garage, a nearby lowkey wine bar, for their happy hour to celebrate meeting each other and my first full day in Kampala.

I ended the day feeling more confident and positive then before. I realized I wasn’t alone and that I had many contacts and many people I could reach out to. I also realized that I can make a plan and execute on it- it’s as simple as just doing it. I had plan to contact schools the next day and reach out more people.

This time when I got home, I worked a bit more, excitedly showed Ruth the schools, and called my parents and friends to tell them the updates. Things were looking up!

Day 3: August 15th, 2019

Today, was a longer day. I woke up a bit later around 9 AM because I was up until late working on logistics for when I get back to school and start working with the Glee Club. I quickly showered, ate breakfast, and ran out the door.

I made it to Acacia Mall around 10 AM and went to the MTN Mobile Provider Office to set up my local number (finally!) Pro Tip: Always do it at the airport- it might be more expensive, but it’s easier. It took about an hour to get all set up and squared away with a phone number, but I practiced on my mental math app in the meantime. While I wanted to have been watching Stranger Things, the last thing I need right now is more mysteriousness to creep into my subconsciousness. So, instead of watching those pre-downloaded Netflix episodes, mental math it was.

After, I finished setting up my phone. I went to Tribe Kampala and began to make phone calls. The first 10 schools I called either did not pick up or were invalid numbers. Finally, 11 calls later, an administrator told me that I must go through the Kampala Capital City Authority (KCCA) to interview students (yay bureaucracy!!).

With this new development, I called the KCCA to figure out the process to get their approval and introduction to schools. I found out I needed to provide a letter of introduction from my University providing the details of my work. So, for the next hour, I printed and assembled a packet to bring to the KCCA. I then took a safe boda to the KCCA, walked into their massive complex, and was directed to the department of education for approval. I handed her the packet, explained my time crunch (only 3.5 weeks), and she told me that I can expect to hear back from tomorrow with her feedback (Please say a prayer for this to work out). Despite this bureaucratic bump in the road, I am positive that it will all work out and that I am taking the steps in the right direction.

After this, I had a call with an associate at a consulting firm to learn about her experience and gather her advice. I also read a chapter in my Casebook and practiced more mental math (shout out to my sister if she’s reading this).

For dinner, I met up with Rosette, a former coworker of mine from the Bayimba Cultural Foundation, where I worked last summer. She has since left the organization and is on her way to the next thing in life. Here is a bit about her life because I think she is a power house and we all can learn from the way she walks purposefully through life and always demonstrates her value:

She is the daughter of a diplomat, who recently passed away, and majored in tourism in her undergraduate education. She had always been interested in theater and drama starting with her work at her local parish where she led the Christmas Cantatas and taught Sunday School through drama. While working at Sunday School, a leader in the church took notice and offered her a job as her project manager. She worked there for a while, but after being dissatisfied with inconsistent pay, she looked to move on.

It was around then when she made a close connection with the woman who would always write the Christmas Cantatas. She impressed the woman by tidying up her place and offered Rosette an administrator job. While she was happy at this job, she both lived and worked with this woman which made for difficult boundaries. It was around that time when she started going to the Bayimba Festival and connecting with their founder, Faisal. She became their part-time workshop coordinator as she continued working for the other woman often working early mornings, late nights, and traveling on the weekends for the Bayimba events across the country. After doing this for a period of a year, she realized that she had to get out and move on her own. Around that time, she met three international women hoping to rent out their place while they would be away. Despite not having the money at the time, she demonstrated her interested and moved forward with the opportunity.

After working hard at Bayimba, the team there began to take notice and offered her a full-time position when the funding came in. She then was able to move out of the old job and house and start this new career with Bayimba. For the past 9 years, that had been her life. She worked as the coordinator for the Bayimba Academy- organizing workshops, inviting guest artists from around the world, and helping develop the young talent here in Uganda.

Just this May, she resigned from Bayimba and began to take the steps towards her next phase in life. She is hoping to improve her education and eventually work to improve the channels for cultural exchange across the world and open people’s minds up to the broad arts landscape that is out there. She is brilliant, strategic, and has had so much faith and courage over her life. I am excited for her next adventure.

Rosette and I talked for hours and she connected me with some music educators that serve refugee populations across Uganda who I will try to interview. She is one of those amazing individuals that leave you speechless at times.

Now, I am in my room in bed at Ruth’s house next to the Oryx Petrol Station on Bukoto-Kisassi Road. I am exhausted, but so excited and ready for what will come tomorrow.

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apricotcas · 7 years ago

Text

A DEAN/CAS LOOK BACK AT SEASON 11

by charlee aka apricotcas

Hello, welcome, please take a seat, grab a donut. This first started out as me thinking “oh hey I could write down all the deancas moments from the show just to keep track of them all!” But then I started adding captions to each moment and well it turns out I sure had a whole lot to say. So I’m putting this out into the world in case maybe?? someone else would enjoy it in some way. And this turned out way longer than I expected so please strap in for some nonsense.

(Starting with season 11 for now because some of my favourite less-talked-about moments are from then and also *taps mic* because I feel like it.)

SEASON 11, EPISODE 1: OUT OF THE DARKNESS, INTO THE FIRE

~20:00 DEAN: “You don’t sound okay.” / DEAN: “Oh, really? You’re worried about me after everything --.”

Cas is under the attack dog spell, Dean’s stuck in a hospital trying to save a baby from rabid zombies. Cas calls, and when he finds out that the Mark of Cain has finally been destroyed, he looks like all his problems melt away and who in the world told him he could do that. Then Cas has to hang up abruptly, as if he doesn’t know that Dean already has a complex about this.

28:20 DEAN: “We can’t save Cas if we’re stuck in some hospital, okay?

This is self-explanatory but I just love how Sam and Dean are already dealing with two million things and Dean is still like “Cas’ voice sounded two octaves lower than usual and he hung up on me unexpectedly. This is a case for the FBI.”

SEASON 11, EPISODE 2: FORM AND VOID

8:40 DEAN: “Come on, Cas.”

Dean’s driving back from dropping off innocent Baby Amara and he gives Cas a call, but Cas can’t answer at the moment since the angels have him strung up like a piñata. Really upsetting stuff altogether.

26:50 CASTIEL (to Efram and Jonah): “I won’t give you Sam and Dean.”

I’m a sucker for this shit leave me alone.

~39:00 CASTIEL: “Help me.”

Sam and Dean get back to the bunker, which is a hot mess after the whole useless Styne family debacle. They hear a noise behind a giant pile of books and approach the threat with their guns drawn but surprise! It’s just Cas having a little lie down. Dean’s very taken aback, there’s dramatic music, the whole shebang.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 3: THE BAD SEED**

(**This entire episode is bad news bears and we’re not even going to TALK about who directed it.)

3:16 DEAN: “Sorry about those, Cas” / DEAN: “Cas, you alright there pal?”

Sam, Dean, and spell-affected Cas are in the war room, and Cas is in shackles since there’s a good chance he might hulk out. Dean’s sad because when he pictured Cas + handcuffs, this wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. (sorry.) Then, Cas gets all huffy and shaky and pained, which elicits concern from Dean. Please note the concerned glances. Thank you.

8:45 SAM: “... involving a crappy a crappy ‘78 Continental Mark V.” / CASTIEL: “You think it’s crappy?” / DEAN (reassuring): “Eye of the beholder.”

#TheContinentalDeservedBetter

9:30 DEAN: “Cas?!” [repeat like 14 times] / DEAN: “Let’s get him up.”

Cas is having a REAL rough time and collapses to the ground. Lots of touchy feelies on Dean’s part. There’s a tomato analogy. Sam and Dean hoist him back into his chair, and Dean wraps the blanket back around Cas’ shoulders. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

27:30 SAM: “I can’t find Cas. He broke free. He’s gone.” / OUTER DEAN: “What?” / INNER DEAN: [kill bill sirens]

35:10 DEAN: “Don’t do this. Okay, this isn’t you it’s the spell. You can beat this!” / DEAN: “It’s gonna be okay buddy, alright.”

So Sam and Dean track Cas’ phone, and Dean ends up running into him as he’s choking out a girl who was just texting and walking and never asked for this. And Cas has literally been programmed to kill, but Dean’s able to break his trance and get him to stop - wow what a revelation, we’ve never seen anything like this before. THEN. Cas pummels Dean in the face a few times for good measure. But hallelujah, Rowena shows up in the nick of time and reverses the attack dog spell. Cas gets all growly again and writhes on the ground, so obviously Dean has to grab onto him and say his name a million times and hold his head in his hand???? And then Cas opens his eyes, Dean helps him sit up, and Dean’s fingers are stroking Cas’ hair and it honest to god looked like they were gonna make out. When I was watching this live I genuinely thought they were about to kiss each other on the mouths. Can you believe this shit.

(P.S. Please note how Sam has to literally look away and avert his virgin eyes during this part.)

37:15 CASTIEL: “Dean I .. there aren’t words.” / DEAN: “You’re right, there aren’t words, Cas, because there’s no need.” / CASTIEL: “Dean, I can fix that.” / DEAN: “No, no, no, no, it’s fine, Cas. Besides, I had it comin’.”

God this scene messes me up. Just the silent acknowledgement of the fight between them at the end of season 10 and their absolute respect and forgiveness for one another. This episode is hell.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 4: BABY

1:20 SAM: “Cas is gettin’ better so there’s that. Still wants to fix your, uh, -” / DEAN: “I’m fine. Fine. 100%.”

Just the implication that Cas has been insisting over and over to heal Dean’s injuries, to the point where Sam has noticed. And Dean says he has cabin fever which means it’s been a substantial amount of time since 11x03. Anyways. Anyways.

~3:00 DEAN: “Cas, you’ve got one job to do and that’s to heal, you understand?” / DEAN: “He just needs some time, y’know.”

Cool cool cool cool for sure for sure for sure for sure.

8:20 SAM: “You don’t .. ever want something more? [...] You don’t ever think about .. something? Not marriage, or, whatever, but .. something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?”

Not even getting into how fast Dean dismisses this, just, honestly, what an incriminating question, coming from Sam, who’s been around Dean longer than anyone else. Who wrote this line. I see you, Robbie. I just wanna talk.

18:25 DEAN: “I called Cas, told him to look into the lore.”

Damn right ya did.

21:54 DEAN: “Step away from the Netflix.” / CASTIEL: “Sorry.” / DEAN: “It’s okay, we’ve all had a binge.” // DEAN: “Alright Cas, you there?” / CASTIEL: “Of course, what’s going on?” / DEAN: “[..] I’m sending you a picture right now of its fangs.” ((wow I love modern romance.))

The best possible scene lacking Cas’ physical presence. The crème de la crème. Dean’s checking out the crime scene of the week when he’s summoned back to the Impala by Cas’ phone call. Also, okay, just quickly, Dean answers by saying “Cas, you okay?” and……. you two’ve literally been corresponding back and forth for the past two days about this case, so Dean should assume that that’s what Cas is calling to tell him about, but instead he goes HELLO CAS ARE YOU INJURED OR IN DISTRESS OF ANY KIND. I might be reading into this too much.

Dean and Cas commiserate over the downfalls of Netflix and talk lore for a bit until Mr. Deputy shows up and Dean leaves Cas on speaker in the car to talk to himself. How often does this shit happen. Was Cas just in a chatty mood that day or have there been other times where Cas just babbles on and Dean is cool to sit and listen and that’s an accepted thing between them. Ugh, frankly. Also Cas says “were-pire” and do you know how much Dean Winchester would have appreciated hearing this holy CHRIST. Then in a shocking turn of events, the deputy who is actually a monster tries to murder Dean’s face, and I’ll just count how many times Cas yells out Dean’s name in various degrees of concern - it’s 12 times. That’s the total. *kisses fingers* love this scene.

27:45 DEAN: “Alright, well, thanks Cas. Good work, way to come off the bench.” / CASTIEL: “What bench?”

Hello knock knock mr. clingy is calling again.

39:55 DEAN: “We’ll get Cas to fix you up.” / SAM: “Only if he fixes you up too.”

[takes long sip of whiskey] beautiful wholesome family moments.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 5: THIN LIZZIE

~3:30 DEAN (Re: the case): “So what do you want to do about Cas?”

Yes I do plan to include crumbs on this list.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 6: OUR LITTLE WORLD

3:15 DEAN (to Sam): “[Cas] has had a pretty rough go of it lately!” / DEAN (to Cas): “Well, you sound weird, okay. Bad weird. [...] I need you back in the game okay.”

*banging pots and pans together* I love this part to death - Sam is saying what we say every episode, that hey maybe Cas our angel friend would be helpful with this case - but Dean is like ??? this is preposterous Sam didn’t you see him punch me in the face?? would he have done that if he was feeling 100%????? He Needs Rest So Shut It. Sam wins this round though, and is able to make Dean stop mother henning and call up Cas, who’s at the bunker on a trash TV binge. Dean tries to make him feel better, distinguishes Cas’ exact mood over the phone which like, okay., and then tells him to try to get some fresh air and look for Metatron. Then he promptly hangs up before this scene can get any more domestic.

5:30 (there’s no new quotes it’s just Cas breathing heavy and looking sad)

Heeding Dean’s advice, Cas dons his coat and tries to leave the comfort of the bunker. But, he’s stopped in his tracks by some wild flashbacks, including from when he was beating up Dean in 11x03 AND when Dean had the mark and tore Cas to shreds a bit at the end of last season. WHAT do I make of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cas is still haunted by what happened when Dean had the MOC and even though I’m sure he never once blamed Dean for that fight, it must mess you up a bit to have your closest companion™ slam your face into a table and smash you around the room!!!!! Not the sexy kind of smashing!!!!!!!!!!! AND Cas must feel so guilty for what he did to Dean under the attack dog spell ……….. saddest cinematic parallels that I never asked for thx so much.

37:45 DEAN: “ Look Cas, I’m as glad as anyone that Stella got her groove back,” / SAM: “Guys.. bigger fish to fry here.” (lol poor sam)

Really the only things to note here are the married bickering and the amount of time that Dean and Cas stare at each other at the end of this scene for no godly reason.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 10: THE DEVIL IN THE DETAILS

7:20 CASTIEL: “Dean. I came as soon as you called. Are you alright?” / CASTIEL: “Stick out your tongue.”

I’m eating as a type this so I won’t go into detail here but Dean’s on the side of the road and he ain’t feeling too hot, but thank the lord above, nurse Cas shows up and offers to stick his finger up Dean’s ass.

14:54 DEAN [to Cas’ voicemail] Hey Cas, I know you’re fightin’ the good fight right now but I need you at 3rd and Pine, Kenesaw, Nebraska. Cause, uh, I’m goin’ to Hell.”

I say “Here for!” you say “this!”

29:30 tfw your bud shows up in Hell with the words “I am coming” branded onto his chest.

31:50 - Sam’s getting his ass whooped by Lucifer in the cage, which sends Dean into a full-out sprint through the hallways of Hell. And ofc Cas follows since there’s no way he’s gonna make Dean endure Mark Pellegrino’s face without moral support.

32:40 - Lucifer poofs Dean and Cas into the cage, and I’m no mind reader but the two of them share a look and Dean for sure telepathically told Cas to go ham on this heaven reject. Dean ends up in a chokehold but Cas hurls himself right into Lucifer and gets him out of it which was A++. And then, unbeknownst to Sam and Dean, Cas makes a very hashtag controversial decision and turns this whole season around.

35:40 DEAN [to Casifer]: “You alright?” / DEAN: “Want me to give you a lift?”

Oh Dean Honey You Don’t Even Know. I can’t for sure if Dean is asking whether Cas is okay because he just got obliterated by the devil or because he might already sense that Cas is acting slightly off, but like, both. Both work. And y’all have a big storm comin.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 11: INTO THE MYSTIC

3:50 DEAN (to Sam): “Cas will be fine. He always is.”

[nervous laughter]

17:40 DEAN: “Cas?? What the hell are you doing, man? We don’t hear from you for days, you show up, you start wrecking the joint?” // CASIFER: “Dean, tell me everything.”

Dean and Sam are hunting banshees because of course they are, so Dean has to stop by the bunker to grab some required weapons. He hears suspicious noises and goes into fight mode, but relaxes when he finds it’s just his dear friend Cas trashing the place, which is a thing that Cas would definitely do there’s nothing weird about this. But really, Dean you bozo how many times have you seen Cas with his sleeves rolled up, how do you not realize something is up here.

25:15 DEAN: “Whatever it is - attraction, connection - I gotta tell you man, it scares me.” / CASIFER: “Hey, it scares me too.”

Of course one of the rare times that Dean actually opens up (about Amara, who he hasn’t even really talked about with Sam yet !!!), Cas is off in la la land. We Could’ve Had It All. Also I know this isn’t really Cas but the shoulder clutch and meaningful stares here were real nice okay. Also big lol at the fact that, solely based on Lucifer’s limited observations, this is how he thinks Cas would act around Dean. Sincere and reassuring and grabby. Cool it’s fine. It’s great.

27:30 DEAN [to Casifer]: “Listen, about what we talked about, let’s just keep that between you and me til we know more, okay?” / CASIFER: “Dean, that’s not..” / DEAN: “Cas, just… trust me.”

What kind of stealthy gay tomfoolery is this.

35:40 MILDRED (to Dean): “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on the road, it’s when somebody’s pining for somebody else. Oh don’t try and hide it now. Follow your heart, remember!”

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright this isn’t EXPLICiTLY deancas but someone EXPLAIN the meaning behind this line i just need CLARITY

SEASON 11, EPISODE 14: THE VESSEL

7:40 DEAN (to Sam): “Yeah, but, we have something that James Cameron doesn’t have.”

Dean loves having a cool powerful time travelling angel friend ok.

10:35 DEAN: “Well if things get out of hand then Cas’ll just zap me right back!”

(for all the casifer scenes its obvs not actually dean/cas Content but you can see reactions from Dean’s side and the thought is still there and that’s all I ask for. anyways.) Sam entrusting Cas to keep Dean safe on their time travel voyage to find the Hand of God. Nice.

12:40 Dean calling out for Cas. Super nice.

30:55 Lucifer imitating how Cas says “Hello Dean” here, thanks cool I’m glad the whole supernatural universe knows about this character trait.

34:40 CASTIEL: “We need him [Lucifer].” / SAM: “No Cas, we don’t.” / CAS: “We need him … to save Dean.”

Cas broke through Lucifer’s hold on him in order to stop Sam from getting hurt (this is the furthest thing from a sastiel post, but, aw) and he explains to Sam that the main reason he isn’t casting Lucifer out at that moment is because they need him to go back and grab Dean. I can’t think about this for too long because I feel like my brain starts will start to sizzle away.

35:13 DELPHINE: “How fast is your ride out of here?” / DEAN: “Fast.”

Nice nice nice nice.

36:25 SAM: “Dean! That’s not Cas!” // INNER DEAN: [ben wyatt calzone voice] “my boyfriend……. betrayed me?”

The cat’s out of the bag, both brothers know that Cas has gone fishing for the moment, Dean’s face revolves between such things as shock and despair and bewilderment, I’ve called the police, they’re on their way, and everything is terrible.

(Side note - Bexy pointed out to me how Dean dramatically yells out NOO when Lucifer goes to activate the Hand of God. Which could be because Dean wanted to save it to use on Amara or because he didn’t want he or Sam to get hurt, OR it could’ve been because he just saw Delphine use it and explode into a ball of life and he didn’t want that to happen to Cas’ vessel. I’m going with the latter and I hope Bexy feels bad about what she’s done here on this day.)

38:30 SAM: “So…” / DEAN: “So…… Cas.” / SAM: “Yeah…. What do we do?” / DEAN: “What else? We hunt Lucifer, trap the bastard, and save Cas.” / SAM: “Like I said, Lucifer may be in control now but, Cas may not come back willingly. You know, he chose it.” / DEAN: “No. No, not possible.”

You cannot tell me Dean wasn’t this → ← close to crying on that pier. Dean is sad, Sam keeps looking sadly at Dean, I’m sure the birds chirping in the background are also sad. And just the amount of certainty that Dean has that Cas would never leave him like this again. Just Pull The Trigger, Piglet.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 15: BEYOND THE MAT

2:40 SAM: “Don’t you think our plates are a little full? I mean, it’s bad out there Dean.” / DEAN: “Yeah, Sam, you think I don’t know that? We’ve done nothing but mainline lore for a week, okay, [...] and we’ve got jack on how to save Cas.” / SAM: “If he wants to be saved.” / DEAN: He does. Even if he doesn’t know it yet.” -overly prolonged pause-

*pours this big bottle of angst all over my naked body* DEAN STILL CAN’T ACCEPT THAT CAS SAID YES TO LUCIFER he really cannot comprehend this information because he doesn’t want to believe that Cas could ever have such a low opinion of himself. He’s had a week to process this and he’s only become more convinced that it can’t be real and Cas just needs his help. Sam I’m so sorry you have to deal with this emo man.

39:45 SAM: “Dean, you know what, he [dead wrestler dude] made a bad decision. Heh, we’ve been there.” / DEAN: “Yeah. Yeah, you, me, now Cas.” / SAM: “Dean, we’ll get him back. We will, we just gotta--” / DEAN: “Keep grindin. [...] We’re gonna save Cas, we’re gonna ice the devil, and we’re gonna shank the Darkness. And anyone who gets in our way. Well, God help em.”

Alright I really just want to talk to whomever directed this/was in charge of focusing in on Sam’s face, when he has such a look of empathy of understanding towards Dean. Dean was the one who insisted on taking this case to clear his head but it’s clear that this Lucifer business is still weighing on him. And Sam knows exactly what to say to reassure him. And saving Cas is on the same priority level as saving the literal world in Dean’s mind, apparently, because that’s reasonable.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 16: SAFE HOUSE

2:17 SAM (to Dean): “Alright, nothing on Amara, nothing on Cas…. keep your head up! We’re gonna win this, remember?”

Sam you’re doing amazing sweetie good pep talk.

11:00 DEAN: ”We can wrap this up quick, get back to hunting Amara …. Get Cas back!”

Big thumbs up emoji.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 17: RED MEAT

1:25 SAM: “It’s a case. Werewolves, looks like.” / DEAN: “Alright, well, we make a call and we put somebody on it.” / SAM: “Yeah, but -- (sam sighs in sam way) We’ll get him back.” / DEAN: “.... how?”

This MIGHT! it just MIGHT be my favourite moment of the season ok hear me out - Dean’s sitting around being mopey and uninterested in life and Sam immediately just goes I KNOW U WANT CAS BACK, like Sam went IN here, he’s got one of those stadium spotlights and he’s shining it right on Dean’s sad stormcloud of mushy man feelings. And Dean doesn’t even try to deny it, his question of “How?” is so defeated and he doesn’t even want to HUNT at this point good god. It’s fine it’s just that snakes have been manifesting in my house physically ever since I started typing this.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 18: HELL’S ANGEL

15:00 SAM: “The priority is to put the horn in Lucifer’s hands and set him loose on Amara.” / DEAN: “After we exorcise Lucifer out of Cas and put him into a new vessel.” / SAM: “What? Really?” / DEAN: “Yes, really, we’re not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside Cas. What if he doesn’t make it?” / SAM: “Dean, it’s a strong vessel. It’s held Cas for years, and we know what he’s been through! I’m guessing it can hold Lucifer.” / DEAN: “It? It’s not an ‘it,’ Sam, it’s Cas.” / SAM: “And Cas wanted to do this!” // SAM: “Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves. We make the- the heart choice, instead of the smart choice!” / DEAN: “Ohh, okay, thank you Dr. Phil. Cas is family!” / SAM: “Yes, and his choice deserves to be respected!” / DEAN: “Even if it kills him?”

Dean, basically: I see this plan of yours and I raise you this new plan which is 400% more complicated but has a better chance of keeping Cas alive. This is the plan now and I’m glad everyone agrees with it.

Furthermore,

25:10 DEAN:”Castiel, show yourself!”/ CASTIEL: “Dean? What are you doing? What’s- what’s going on?” / DEAN: “Cas, listen to me. We don’t have a whole lot of time, okay, you have got to--” // DEAN: “Cas, expel him! You gotta kick Lucifer out, you hear me?!”

Everybody stay calm everybody stay fucking calm. Okay okay okay okay. Let me just count again - 8 times, is how many times Dean yells out for Cas here. He, Sam, Crowley, and Rowena set up this trap to get Lucifer out of the way for a few moments and apparently everyone is just peachy with letting Dean take the reins on this one - and BOY does he not hold back. How his whole demeanor changes once Cas takes control of his vessel, and Dean just rushes forward and his voice gets all soft :) and maybe the worst of it all is when Dean is so frustrated that he YELLS out Cas’ name and Lucifer YELLS it right back and everyone involved with this episode reaches through my television screen and physically slaps me in the face. Cursed scene, 0/10 would recommend, I give it no stars and I’m calling my lawyer.

29:20 CASTIEL: “Wait that was Dean I saw a minute ago, wasn’t it?” / CROWLEY: “Yes!” / CASTIEL: “And he wants me to… expel Lucifer?” / CROWLEY: “Yes!” / CASTIEL: [chuckles] “Well… he may have a more objective view of this situation. Maybe I should.”

So Cas is in his mind palace disassociating (sherlock fans do not engage) and Crowley smoked on in there to try to fix this mess. And just, like, okay Cas you absolute walnut have you seen how Dean is out there practically painting the walls with his insecurities Do You Really Think He Is The One Thinking Rationally In This Instance???? These guys really are two peas in a pod since their brains turn to mush whenever the other is in trouble smfh.

30:40 SAM: “[Crowley’s] been gone a long time. I mean, what do you think is going on?” / DEAN: “I don’t know, maybe Cas isn’t willing to play ball. I mean, you said it yourself, he wanted this.” // DEAN: “C’mon, Cas, what the hell.”

Dean needs a stress ball a cold drink and maybe a massage all at once.

36:05 DEAN (once more with feeling): “Cas??”

It’s clear to everyone and their aunt Linda that Lucifer has full control of things at the moment, and now even Amara has joined the party, but Dean is like MAYBE IF I YELL OUT CAS’ NAME JUST ONE MORE TIME THAT’LL DO THE TRICK. OKAY HERE GOES I’M DOING IT. dean ……………………. sweet summer child it’s okay he’ll be back in T-minus 5 episodes.

37:25 SAM: “Listen, um… I know I came down on the side of wanting Cas to deal with Amara, so--” / DEAN: “Well that’s what he wanted though, right? Besides, didn’t we say that we were gonna swear off gettin’ in the way when one person makes a choice the other doesn’t agree with?” / SAM: “Yeah… um, yeah we did say that.” / DEAN: “So..” / SAM: “Okay. So, that’s our policy. DEAN: “Which.. Sounds damn good.” …….. “Well, let’s go find that idiot and bring him home.” (H-O-M-E!!)

Asdfedfhbjsdahbdfvbjhfjdb so I’ll admit it originally took me a bit to figure out what tf was happening here but FROM MY UNDERSTANDING Sam, Dean, and Cas have a lil pact to stop sabotaging each other’s wishes, even if they think the other party is being a dumbass. So Sam and Dean are clarifying this, it’s cool, it’s settled, and Dean just up and says “lol forget everything we have to go save this moron.” ?????? COOL let’s just throw the family code of ethics OUT the window along with my last ounce of sanity.

IN ADDITION, during this whole end-of-the-episode-sad-reflection time, the way that Sam pauses and sighs and looks over at Dean with a frowny face, before pretty much apologizing TO DEAN for not taking the long road to save Cas asap - it’s so…….. damning to me. Dean is still radiating sad boy vibes and everyone’s treating him like Cas’ keeper here. Not to say of course that Sam doesn’t value Cas immensely, but it’s just so CLEAR that Sam and Dean have different relationships with Cas and different extents of emotional attachment to him. Anyone who can’t see that can have my coupons for a free eye exam. They expire in June so chop chop.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 19: THE CHITTERS

2:45 SAM: “Dean, we’ll find Cas, okay, he’s stronger than he looks.” / DEAN: “You know, we gambled with Cas and now Amara has him.” / SAM: “For a reason! Which means he’s still alive!” / DEAN: “I’ve been with Amara. Her beef is with the big guys -- with God, with Lucifer. The small fries, even an angel like Cas, doesn’t even register. And it if meant hurting Lucifer, killing Cas would mean nothing to her.” // SAM: “We’ll catch a break on Cas! We have to, it’s karma!” / DEAN: “You know, karma’s been kicking us in the teeth lately.”

(to the tune of ‘Shots’ by LMFAO) angst! angst! angst angst angst! angst! angst! angst angst angst! angst! angst! angst angst angst! everybodayy!

-----brief intermission to step up on podium----- hi hello yes now we run into beautiful jesse and cesar wonderful guys amazing characters xoxo big fans keep it up guys. i’ve just GOTTA say that after this episode aired there were so many anti-cas/dc fans who said (and still say) that jesse and cesar are mirrors for sam and dean and, okay. i /do/ see how this could be people’s gut response since the two pairs are split up that way in the episode, but Something Just Doesn’t Add Up Here Linda. jesse literally lost his BROTHER who was a huge part of his life and who he would’ve done anything for, and now cesar hunts with him and supports him fully even though they disagree on things. hell, people have even compared jesse’s plaid with dean’s plaid, and cesar’s demeanor with cas’ demeanor, which may be a bit too meta but the jury will allow it. basically dean doesn’t have some other secret brother he would die for (not today, adam activists, just no), he and sam aren’t married, cas is dean’s closest companion other than sam, sam = matty, dean = jesse, cas = cesar. anyways not to get all fandom political but, 1-800-R-U-DUMB, that is all.

19:20 DEAN: “You guys fight just like brothers. Heh, almost as bad as us [he and Sam].” / CESAR: “Well… it’s more like an old married couple.” DEAN: [chuckles] “That’s…….. Oh! So….” / CESAR: “Yeah.” / DEAN: “Okay. That’s….. What’s it like settling down with a hunter?”

Dean. Dean. Why do you want to know this. Blink twice if you’re having a crisis. Dean. Hello.

37:15 DEAN: “I was thinkin, maybe they could give us a hand, with Amara…. y’know, with Cas.”

Dean ultimately doesn’t follow through with this since he doesn’t want to impede on the couple’s happy life, but this is all still very (｡◕‿◕｡).

SEASON 11, EPISODE 20: DON’T CALL ME SHURLEY

4:30 DEAN: “Tell me you’ve got something on Amara.” / SAM: “Uh, it’s a long shot but, clock’s ticking, right. Whatever Amara’s doing to Lucifer…” / DEAN: “Yeah, beatin’ on Cas in the meantime.”

Dean wants his bf back that’s the theme of the whole half of this season I have nothing else to say I’m just figuratively rocking back and forth while laughing.

26:20 METATRON: “But you’ve helped the Winchesters before.” / CHUCK-SLASH-GOD-??: “Helped them?! I’ve saved them! I’ve rebuilt Castiel more times than I can remember.”

So God has brought Cas back to life countless times in order to help Sam and Dean, and I’m guessing he means more than just the “he’ll patch up their wounds” sort of help. Wow that could be read as an innuendo I JUST MEAN THAT CAS IS FAMILY 4EVER AND ALWAYS and it’s SWEET AND NICE.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 21: ALL IN THE FAMILY*

*(the one where dean cries a lot)

8:55 - Okay I can’t remember if we ever got a solid answer on what in the world is happening here but it SEEMS like Amara is using the power of Cas’ heart to locate Dean???? Like really this wasn’t explained but all signs point to gay here, lads.

9:15 AMARA: “You should know this. Lucifer, [God’s] favorite, isn’t doing so well. Say nothing of the vessel, your friend Castiel.”

Add this to LIST of times that enemies have used Cas or Dean against each other for their own benefit because they know that it’s a surefire way to get through to them!!!!!!!!!!! Amara shows up in weird-vision-form to talk to Dean and she SHOWS him a vision of Cas looking utterly pitiful and Dean’s face is just doing so so so much. Full jaw clench and everything. Everything is awful and I won’t stand for it.

12:05 DEAN: “We’ve gotta find Lucifer before it’s too late.” / SAM: “Too late?” / DEAN: “Amara is… she’s in my head. Hey, I didn’t ask for it, okay. She just showed up. But she’s showing me visions of -- of Lucifer. And by Lucifer, I mean Cas, and he looks like crap, like she’s really doing a number on him.”

SEASON 11, EPISODE 22: WE HAPPY FEW

26:20 O HOLY CHUCK: “After that, it’s Lucifer’s turn. Physical attack, one on one.” / DEAN: “What about.. Cas?” / CASIFER: “Oh, don’t worry. Your pet’s safety is my highest concern. [gets a look from dean] “(rolls eyes) trust me, he’s on board.”

God has brought the whole brigade together to work out how to take down Amara, and of course, Dean “i haven’t voiced my concern for cas in at least five minutes and i’m sure you’re all missing the sound of my voice” Winchester has something to say about this.

27:00 GOD: “I can’t transfer the mark to you, Dean. Sam volunteered.” / DEAN (to Sam): “First Cas is making kamikaze side plans and now you??”

26:35 [Amara flings Casifer against a pillar and banishes Lucifer from Cas’ body.] AMARA: “Goodbye, nephew.” / DEAN, YELLING FROM ACROSS THE ROOM BUT IN A COOL WAY: “Cas!!!”

Good lord who aren’t in heaven in this season over yet I’m about to have an aneurysm.

SEASON 11, EPISODE 23: ALPHA AND OMEGA

0:00 CASTIEL: “Dean.” / DEAN: “Cas?” [[this is the good shit]] “Hey, is that you??” / CASTIEL: “Lucifer is gone. Amara ripped him from my body.”

My pro tip of the day is that the sneak peek version of this scene is way better than the final product ‘cause it doesn’t have weird ominous music in the background. Also it’s easier to access and rewatch over and over, not that I’ve ever done that once ever in my life. So if it’s something you can digest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0FoDhJFFoI. And I don’t even WANT to get into how Dean’s whole demeanor changes when he realizes Lucifer is finally gone after 84 years, or his little smile or the hand on Cas’ shoulder or how his voice gets all soft when he says “c’mon” and helps Cas up. I’m not getting into it.

1:30 [Dean draws his gun.] ROWENA: “So that was a gun in your pocket.” / CASTIEL: [substantial head tilt.] // CROWLEY: “Well, that was a complete and utter dog’s breakfast, wasn’t it?” / CASTIEL: “I didn’t know dogs had breakfast.” / DEAN: “Cas is back.”

6:00 DEAN: “You know what, this isn’t gonna be enough. I better make a [beer run]. No reason to die sober, huh. You want to?” / SAM: “No! I’ll stay here, find our plan B.” / DEAN: “Okay. Cas, come on.”

Me, rubbing my hands together with glee.

ALSO as Sonie pointed out, u very clearly had enough alcohol dean and im sure you had more stashed somewhere you little sneak. real smooth moves.

9:05 DEAN: “How you doing? You good? I mean, you know, the whole Lucifer thing.” / CASTIEL: “I was just… so stupid.” / DEAN: “No, no, no, it wasn’t stupid. You were right, you were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun. Me and Sam wouldn’t have done that.” / CASTIEL: “Well, it didn’t work.” / DEAN: “No, but it was our best shot. And you stepped up.” / CASTIEL: “I was just trying to help.” / DEAN: “Well, and you do help, Cas.” // DEAN: “But you’re always there, you know? You’re the best friend we’ve ever had. You’re our brother, Cas, I want you to know that.”

Yeah I just practically wrote out that entire scene of dialogue but HOW could I not. For literal weeks Dean was saying Cas was a moron for agreeing to this but once Cas is actually back he’s like “no bb that was a good move and you help us all the time, do you need a popsicle i’ll stop this car and get you a popsicle.” And any reassurance of Cas being part of the Winchester’s family and crucial in their lives gets five gold stars from me. Love me some healthy car conversations. Would watch again.

23:50 [Dean has just absorbed the big ball of exploding souls or whatever] CASTIEL: “Dean are you okay? How do you feel?”

Yes I will accept some concerned Cas for a change thank you for this gracious offer.

26:00 CASTIEL: “Dean..” / DEAN: “Cas. [TENDER EMBRACE] Okay. Okay. Alright.” / CASTIEL: “I could go with you.” / DEAN: “No, no, no. No, I’ve gotta do this alone. Listen, if -- when -- when this works, Sam, he’s gonna be a mess. So look out for him, okay. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” / CASTIEL: “Of course.”/ DEAN: [shoulder grab] “Thank you for everything.”

Everyone please grab an inhaler from the bowl and keep passing it around. I! Could! Go! With! You! Bitch!!!!! He doesn’t want Dean to die alone! Dean entrusts Cas with Sam’s care!! I’m the wicked witch of the west and I’m melted and on the floor, hoping the spn writers will stop stepping on me anytime soon.

36:00 CROWLEY: “He did it.” / ROWENA: “He bloody did it.” / CASTIEL: “And Dean?”

The sun has come back to life (i can’t believe this was a real plotline) which means Dean must’ve gone through with his sacrifice. Boy do I love ending things on a sad note, but I guess that sure is the norm with these two.

which brings me to --- the end ---

If you read this far thank you I love you and you can come pet my dog because her ears are really soft and I think it’s a good reward. This turned into way more of an actual Thing than I thought it would but it was probably cathartic somehow to let this all out somewhere. I don’t know how to wrap this up but this season fed us REAL good even if it had its ups and downs. Pls just remember that the moral of season 11 is that tptb can try to force some dean/female-villain-of-the-year nonsense but deancas will always come through and embarrass me and save the day. Thank you goodnight and amen.

Cross-posted on ao3 if thats more what floats your boat >> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14471232

I’m almost always on twitter at apricotcas pls come say hi and look at good animals and suffer with me every thursday at 8pm eastern standard time.

Lastly big thanks to ms. Bexy for keeping me company through this and also just for letting me yell my grievances at her when people are being dumb on the internet ♥♥ and also my lovely twitter friends who will probably see me bump this a lot im really sorry in advance guys youre the best though!!!!

#deancas #destiel #christ this took me too long #if i do s12 ill need a massage first #supernatural #supernatural season 11 #spn season 11 #spn s11 #destiel meta #destiel analysis #deancas meta #hey tumblr why cant i add underlines huh #long post

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