#its taken me SO long just to finish s1

[hugmekenobi]

Return to the Light

A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot

Gif by @spacemagicandlaserswords

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Being separated from one another had taken it's toll and the search had been hard but in all the darkness, a glimmer of hope remains

Warnings: Mentioned canon-typical violence, swearing, my made-up timeline, limited use of y/n, some choice interrogation techniques, sad flashbacks, mentions/descriptions of torture, mentions of death, mentions/descriptions of injury and sickness, reader is not in the greatest of headspaces and takes it out on Lyra, talks of self-sabotage/sacrifice and self-loathing, my interpretation of all things Force, dodgy Star Wars medical techniques, slight manipulation/miscommunication, kissing, overall a pretty angsty time but there's some fluff sprinkled in

Masterlist for S1 and S2

Word Count: 18.2K (don't look at me, idk what happened lol)

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Huge shoutout and thanks to my friend @burningfieldof-clover who supported and provided many helpful tips as I struggled though this!! And its finally here! I am so sorry it took so long but I hope you all enjoy it despite the wait! I have another one planned to follow that hopefully will not take as long haha so I'm excited to get to work on that too! Also praying that by posting this, I can manifest a S3 trailer haha

Nelvaan

Ever since the disaster of Ord Mantell and from the second they’d managed to flee; Hunter had been doing everything he could to find you and Omega again. He’d tormented himself with the various possibilities of what could be happening to the two of you. Every day he’d been apart from you both had seen him fighting with himself. Possible informants and Imperial soldiers he could cope with just fine, what had been proving to be a struggle was fighting the complete hopelessness that had overwhelmed him as the weeks dragged on with no sign or information on the whereabouts of either of you. Every failed lead had left the bitter taste of disappointment and there were times when he felt like he would be crushed by the weight each defeat brought.

Things had started to shift however when they came across the various wanted posters and holoimages of you that were strewn across the galaxy, particularly in the Outer Rim. So, when Echo had decided to do some work on his own and went back to working with his contacts within the Empire and reported back that you hadn’t actually been taken, he’d felt that flicker of hope he hadn’t been able to find for a long time and the plan changed. Echo would continue to utilise his allies in the search for Omega whilst he and Wrecker looked for you. Once Hunter had you back, the four of you would reconvene and find Omega.

To get to Omega, they needed your skills and… and Hunter just needed you but there were moments in the early stages of the search where it seemed impossible. Knowing you were out on your own helped with finding his way out of the darkness but knowing you were alive and finding you alive were very different things, the latter was proving to be incredibly challenging.

You may had stopped hiding what you were, but you were remarkably good at making an impression somewhere but still finding a way to go unseen. Every location they’d gone to, they’d been too late, and you appeared to have moved on. You never stuck around anywhere for too long and it was making things a lot harder.

The most recent trail of half-baked information he and Wrecker had followed had led them to this pawn shop- ‘Hidden Gems’. According to rumour, you’d been in asking about them, yet another piece of knowledge that only added to his frustration that they always seemed to miss you by a matter of weeks. Hunter opened the door, but the owner’s back was still turned to them as they pashed the threshold.

Kedrin heard the bell clang as the door opened and shut. “I’ll be with you in a flash.” He said as he finished writing up the recent sales. He closed the book and turned around with a salesman smile on his face, but that and his words of welcome instantly died on his lips as he saw who had walked in.

Immediately upon seeing these men, Kedrin was reminded of a description given to him a while ago by the Jedi everyone had been talking about and he did not want them here. He did not want to deal with this anymore. “Ah, well actually gentlemen, I was just closing up for the afternoon. You’ll have to come back.” He said, wringing his hands nervously as the bigger one split off and began wandering the shop whilst the one with the bandana stayed where he was.

Hunter leaned his back against the door and lazily played with his vibroblade. He knew by the beads of sweat on the owner’s brow and the anxious pounding of his heart that they were in the right place. “Where is she?” He asked, his voice low and hostile as he turned the sign from open to closed, his eyes never leaving the owner.

Kedrin retreated to behind the counter. “I um…” His throat was as dry as sand and he swallowed to get some moisture back so he could speak properly. “I don’t know who-” He cleared his throat again. “Who you are referring to. Perhaps-”

“There’s not point in lying to him. If I can tell you are, he definitely can.”

Kedrin’s eyes darted to the bigger one who had offered the advice, but he had to bring his attention back to the tattooed soldier who was staring at him with such cold and dark eyes that fear creeped up his spine, making his hair stand on end and goosebumps rise on his flesh.

“Where is she?” Hunter asked again as he pushed off the door and steadily walked towards the man.

“I’m- I’m afraid I don’t- don’t have the answer you seek.” Kedrin stuttered. As the soldier drew closer, Kedrin reached under the table and grabbed the blaster he kept concealed there. But, as he lifted it out, in the blink of an eye, the weapon was shot out of his hand and his head was smacked down and being pressed harshly into the countertop- a strong hand on the back of his neck reducing his struggles to break free to be no more than a pitiful effort. His resistance ceased altogether when he felt the sharp tip of a blade being pushed into the back of his hand and he cried out in discomfort as the metal broke the skin and blood began to spill from the cut but there would be no respite for him.

“Try again.” Hunter hissed as he brought his head down to the man’s level.

But all Kedrin could do was whimper in pain.

“She was here. We know she was here. Where did she go?” Hunter growled into his ear, applying more pressure to the point of the blade, ignoring the agonised yelp.

“I don’t know!” Kedrin protested in distress, his voice slightly muffled as his lips touched the cold material of the counter. He hated this part of the job, it wasn’t his fault he had access to other ports of information, it just worked out that way and for the most part he hadn’t gotten into too much bother. But ever since that Jedi woman had come to him with her threats, he’d vowed to himself that he would turn over a new leaf. He’d leave this element of his work behind, and he wouldn’t just be a pushover to whatever or whoever came in demanding his extra services. He felt the hand leave the back of his neck. He uneasily straightened up and tenderly analysed his injury on his hand but was grateful to see that it had felt and looked worse than it was. He took out a handkerchief from the lapel of his jacket and wrapped it up before he tidied his hair in an attempt to regain some calm and control over the situation. “Now, I ask that you leave this instance before I call the proper authorities.” He demanded, but he couldn’t shake the quiver in his speech which removed any forcefulness. He walked around the counter and gestured to the door.

Hunter ignored his requested. He simply took a step back and nodded sharply to Wrecker who cracked his knuckles and neck in intimidation.

Well, he could always start next week. “Wait wait wait! I actually might have something!” Kedrin back peddled fearfully as the larger one stalked towards him and grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket, raising him to his tiptoes. “My brother runs our partner pawn shop on Christophsis and he’s said there’s been Jedi activity there. Apparently, it’s been going on for a while now. Could be who you’re looking for?”

Wrecker glanced back at Hunter who signalled to him to drop the man.

Hunter silently turned on his heels and led the way out of the shop and back to the Marauder. He’d been powerless for far too long and had failed one too many times but that wasn’t going to happen anymore.

This time they weren’t going to miss you.

--

Christophsis

When the hour had finally got late enough, you grabbed your blaster and sheathed your vibroblade and made the final adjustments to your armour before you sneakily opened your door to dark and empty main room of the run-down apartment. You pulled your hood and mask up as you stepped out and headed for the exit.

You got as far as activating the panel for the door to open before the lights turned on.

“You’re going out again.”

You closed the door and huffed out an irritated breath. You swivelled on your heels to see Lyra standing in the doorway of her room. You tugged down your mask. “Yeah… and?”

“And I thought after the last time, you were going to take some time and-”

“You know I can’t do that.” You interrupted icily.

“You’ve barely recovered. I just think-”

“I’ve recovered enough.”

“It’s just one more night. If not for your sake, then do it for mine… please.”

“We’ve already settled here for you, didn’t we?” You retorted.

“After I begged you too! If it were up to you, we’d still be living on that hellhole of a ship and never staying anywhere for more than two weeks! And I don’t know if what we have right now is all that better!”

“I gave you an out months ago! Back on Ord Mantell and again on Corellia! You didn’t have to follow me!” You snapped angrily.

Lyra scoffed. “Corellia was when you finally deemed it fit to fill me in on the whole story after I saw you choke the life out of a man without laying a hand on him. I had known something was off in the weeks since Ord Mantell and then Corellia told me you needed someone. Forgive me if I wanted to stick around to try to help you!”

“I don’t need saving.” You said tightly. “And anyway, he got what was coming to him.” You said utterly uncaring with a simple shrug of your shoulders. “Now, can I go now? Are you done scolding me?”

Lyra looked at you imploringly. “Don’t you see what this is doing to you? You’re losing who you are and it’s-”

You couldn’t listen to the speech again. “I’m not doing this with you again, Lyra. Just go back to bed and I’ll be back later.”

Lyra looked at you in disbelief. “Later? Last time you said that I didn’t see you for three weeks and you came back tortured and half-dead! You’re no good to them if you die in the process of finding them!”

You just shook your head and lifted your mask and turned to open the door again.

“I can’t watch you kill yourself for this anymore.” Lyra said quietly to your back, her words laced with pity and sadness.

“Then don’t look.” With that, you stepped outside into the night.

--

Kirion stepped into the small kitchen in the back of his shop and sifted through the second cupboard. Instinct meant he didn’t need the light and he found what he was looking for.

“Trouble sleeping?”

Kirion yelped and dropped his mug. It smashed to the ground but that was not his concern anymore. The dark outline by the window was. “I don’t want any trouble.” His voice trembling.

“Do you know what they say about people who can’t sleep at night, Kirion?” You asked as you hopped off the counter, the yellow hue of the streetlights coming through the window illuminating your figure.

“N- no.”

“Plagued by a guilty conscience. The crushing weight of knowing you’re not doing enough, or you’ve gone too far can get to you. Or say, being a pawn shop owner intent on ripping everyone off for that extra bit of profit.”

Kirion cleared his throat nervously. He didn’t know how you knew that, but you’d gathered quite the reputation in the time you’d lived here, and he didn’t want you around. “Why are you here then?” He asked shakily. “Guilty conscience too?”

You laughed humourlessly. “You get the pleasure of my company because you have something for me.” Somewhere deep down, you had a different answer, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to bring that to the surface. It would get you nowhere.

“I don’t. I swear I-”

“Oh, this’ll go a lot better if you don’t lie to me.” You said, your voice hardening. You patted him roughly on the shoulder as you stepped past him.

“I don’t know if I have the information you’re looking for.”

“You know who I am?” You flicked the light on and waltzed into the storefront filled with clear glass cases with various pawned off items. Heirlooms, artifacts, jewellery, random items- all seemed to have a place here, whether they were genuine or not. You beckoned him to come in.

“It’s um kind of hard not to.” He wringed his hands anxiously as he followed you in and signalled to the front of the store. He took that opportunity to press the button under the table by the credit register.

You followed his stare and chuckled as you saw the backs of the posters in the front window. “I can sign one for you later.” You started scanning variety of items he possessed. “Quite the business you’ve got here.”

“Keeps-” He swallowed nervously. “Keeps the credits coming in.”

“Shame a lot of it is all garbage.” You smashed your elbow against one of the glass panels. “Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber?” You snickered as you picked up the item and sure enough, you got nothing from it. “Please. Nothing here but a bunch of dressed up metal material and a design anyone with access to an old holonet could copy. Then again, you probably knew that, but it doesn’t stop you underpaying for it and then charging a steep fee for the poor sucker that falls for it.”

Kirion gulped as he watched you continue your assault on his store.

You shattered a few more glass panes with claims of ‘Jedi artifacts’ in them. “Some of this is just embarrassing. You actual convince people that this stuff is worth the price?”

“What do you want?” Kirion interjected swiftly as he saw you getting ready to break another one.

You paused your movement and angled yourself to face him. You mimed applause. “That’s the right question. See, you gave yourself away earlier, Kirion. I’d expect you to know who I am, but to know that I’m after information? You had no way of knowing that, not officially and it’s the fact that you do know, that makes you of use to me.”

“Of use?” Kirion repeated fretfully.

You stalked closer to the desk register, the broken glass crunching beneath your feet. “You run this place in a back alley and get everyone from all walks of life coming in here pawning off their shit that you then rip off, but I really don’t give a fuck about that. What I do give a fuck about is that you hear things. People will tell you their stories, the things they’ve seen and overheard in the streets or on their travels. You are a fountain of knowledge of the underground happenings in this galaxy. Or, at the very least, you know people that run in the circles that have what I’m searching for.

“I-”

You placed a finger on his lips to shush him. “Here’s how this will work: So long as you don’t lie to me, and you don’t call the Empire, I won’t hurt you and you get to keep your life. Are we clear?” You removed your finger.

“C-crystal.” Kirion stuttered, very much regretting what he’d done in the beginning of this meeting.

“Good.” You released a short breath. “Now, I’m looking for a group of clones. They don’t look like the ones you may come across these days, rare as that seems to be now. One wears a red bandana and has a tattoo on the left-side of his face. Looks like this.” You pointed to the white insignia on your top. “But it’s black. The other is tall and bald with a scar on his left temple and he’s blind in his left eye. Heard of anyone like that?”

“I don’t know. No one like that’s come here.” Kirion shifted his feet awkwardly.

You tossed your head back in aggravation. “I really don’t have time for this.” You summoned the Force and lifted him against the wall and started to compress his airway. “I told you; I don’t like liars.” You gave him a pitying stare as he couldn’t help but clutch desperately at his throat. “Wanna try again?” You relaxed your hold slightly to give him the chance to speak.

“Okay- they- they- could be- be- coming here.” He gasped.

“They’re coming here?” You double checked as you eased your grip and let him get his feet back on the ground.

Kirion panted as he felt the invisible hold around his neck loosen. “Yes, my other store got a visit from some men that match what you’re saying. The manager there told them there was a Jedi here and called me earlier to let me know they might pass this way. That’s all I know, please, get out!”

You narrowed your eyes at him because despite his now honest words, you could tell he was getting anxious, and it wasn’t all because of you now. It was then that you heard the familiar pounding footsteps grow closer and halt outside the front door. You released an exasperated sigh and tutted. “Kirion… I thought we had an understanding.”

“No- wait! I-”

You called on the Force and snapped his neck before he had a chance to finish his plea and a second later, you heard the door crash open.

“You’re-”

“Under arrest?” You finished as you watched Kirion’s limp body slide to the floor. You heaved a sigh and turned to face the squad of ten stormtroopers that were lining the rows and blocking the path between you and the door.

“Get-”

“On my knees? Place my hands behind my head?” You interrupted, boredom evident in your tone as you crossed your arms and leaned against the till counter.

The troopers faltered slightly at your blatant dismissiveness of them.

You pretended to look confused for a moment. “Now, I can never keep track of where the Empire is in that whole phasing out thing so I always gotta ask this- any of you got a CT number?” You straightened up and hovered your hand over your blaster. “It’s always much simpler when none of you do.”

“Last chance, Jedi!” One of them called out as they readjusted their stances.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah… you all say the same thing.”

--

You quietly walked into your place and pulled your hood and mask down, ignoring the sting of pain as the material caught on the cuts on the bridge of your nose and your lip. You ran your tongue along your mouth and could still taste the harsh metallic taste of blood as it continued to ooze from the wound. Your nose was also still bleeding so you turned on the dim kitchen light to find something to stop it.

“Thought you’d be outta here by now.” You commented cooly without looking up as you heard her door open, and the soft padding of footsteps walk towards you. You fished out a cloth and ran it under some cold water and wiped away the congealed blood on your face before you held it to your nose.

“We don’t have a ship anymore, remember?” Lyra reminded you as she sat by the small kitchen table.

You’d forgotten about that. After the two of you had found this place, you’d sold it to someone who claimed to have word from Hunter. Unfortunately, that had turned out to be a rather bad deal and it was your first experience of dealing with the Imperials stationed here. “There are transports.”

Lyra just shook her head at you. “You still don’t get it.”

“Don’t really see what there is to get. Just hop on the next ship outta here, I won’t stop you.”

“I care about you, dumbass. Whatever is happening to you, I can’t just leave you alone in it.” Lyra replied wearily. Part of her wanted to, she’d even started packing a bag this time, but after these months spent with you and especially after what you went through recently told her you were one step away from a full-on breakdown and whether you would admit it or not, you still needed someone.

You ground out a sigh and stared down at the floor. She kept doing this. She kept having that faith in you that you couldn’t see but you didn’t deserve it. She should leave, she’d be better off without you but you didn’t have it in you to give her that final push. So, you worked on freezing her out, pushing her away until she realised you weren’t good for her or anyone else. But she refused, she was still here with you, and you couldn’t fathom why.

“Did you get what you were looking for?” Lyra asked, deliberately avoiding asking the state of the people that had clearly got in your way tonight. She’d seen what you were capable of but found that living in as much ignorance as she could saved her a lot of trouble. That and reminding herself you were not yourself right now.

“Yup.” You rinsed out the cloth and got ready to move into your room.

“I need to check your stitches. You weren’t ready for a fight yet.”

You knew what she would find if she looked. “No, you don’t.”

“(Y/N), let me see.” Lyra caught your arm as you went to move past her.

You huffed out another irritated breath but took your armour off before you lifted your first layer over your head. “Knock yourself out.”

She pushed up your vest top. “Yeah, you ripped a few open.” Lyra winced as she saw the lines of blood secreting from the sore and irritated looking now open wounds on your back.

“It’s fine.” You said dismissively. The pain wasn’t bothering you. You needed to come up with a plan of how to know when they got here.

“It’s not. Sit down.” She insisted as she went for the medkit. She had gotten well-acquainted with the item over the months, the most recent incident in particular had really tested her skills.

You released a resigned sigh and sat across from her and let her start cleaning them and closing them up again.

“They’re coming here, Lyra.” You found yourself whispering into the silence.

Lyra paused her process. “You’ve been told that before. The same thing happened on Cermau a couple months ago and it didn’t pan out. You-”

“I know what happened on Cermau. This isn’t like that.” You said defensively. It had to be different. You thought to yourself. You weren’t sure how many more dead ends you could take.

Lyra finished up the last few stitches. “You can’t know that.”

As soon as you felt her complete that last stitch, you stood. “Yes, I can.” You grabbed your armour and strode had over to your room without another word and shut the door.

You braced your hands against it and took a few deep breaths. You did have a way you could do but it had been so long since you’d gone near it, and you didn’t know if you could cope with the failure it might bring.

--

You settled in the middle of your crappy bed, the mattress sinking to the bedframe beneath as you shifted around to attempt to find some level of comfort. When you had found what you figured would be the ‘best’ spot, you crossed your legs and placed your hands on your knees.

You inhaled slowly, deeply, blocking out all the distractions of your mind and the sounds of the late-night life outside, and closed your eyes. You reached into the Force but what met you wasn’t any familiar signature. It was scenes and voices that you had tried so hard to forget.

Flashes of the people you’d hurt… you’d killed.

All that happened to you a week ago.

Tech hanging below the rail car.

Plan 99.

Omega, unconscious and injured on the ground.

Such an exquisite creature.

The torture he made you go through... and enjoyed.

His words to Hunter- To lose one of your own, it must weigh heavily on you as their leader.

Omega being carried off.

Hemlock letting you and Hunter have one last goodbye before you were taken away.

I love you.

No, it was too much. You couldn’t do it. Your breathing was shaky as you tore yourself out. You wiped the cold sweat from your palms. “Come on, get it together.” You told yourself as you took a long calming breath. You needed to do this right.

You centred yourself and went again. Except this time, all you could see was a vast space of darkness. No light, no hope, only darkness. Was this to be your fate? To be tormented by the fact you had let yourself fall and there was nothing left for you. How could you find them in this? You had no light left in you to give.

Spark.

You felt yourself twitch in discomfort. You knew that voice. That name. Only one person ever called you that.

Spark, you’re still not focused.

Let go of your anger. You’re not as lost as you view yourself to be.

No, no it couldn’t be. How could it be? No, this wasn’t right. You pulled yourself out and you looked around your room in a blind panic as you fought to get your distressed breathing back under control.

But it was only you in there. How could you hear him? It had to be some trick your mind was playing on you. Payback for all you’d done.

You exhaled heavily and braced your hands behind your neck as you looked to the ceiling. You stood and paced the confined space, shaking your hands as if you could shake away the bad feeling sitting on your chest.

You sat back on the bed and rolled your shoulders as you found your focus again. Faint rays of sun now came through the cracks in your window along with the sound of rain pattering against the fractured glass, but the new time meant nothing to you.

You didn’t care how long it would take; you were going to find them.

--

Hunter and Wrecker walked out of the ship and departed the bay to enter the streets of Christophsis- the rain sliding down their armour as they moved between the crowds.

“Well, we’re in the right place.” Wrecker commented as he nudged Hunter in the direction of the first holoscreen that had your image appear and a quick look at the immediate buildings followed that theme since they all had multiple paper posters in their windows and on their doors.

Hunter swallowed tightly as he saw holographic picture of you. There’d been one too many ‘right places’ in his search for you. He wasn’t going to accept that philosophy until he had something more than a wanted sign for you. “Come on. We’ll start with Kendrin’s brother.”

--

“So, you’re saying you saw a figure head in that direction after the disturbance last night?” A trooper pointed in said direction as she questioned the current resident on her list whilst the rest of her squad proceeded to clear the pawnshop.

“This looks like her handiwork, Sarge.” Wrecker uttered from the corner of the street they were observing from as he studied the scene ahead. Squads of troopers had cornered off the street and where questioning the civilians that appeared to live in the neighbourhood. And being carried out on stretchers were the dead bodies of troopers, but not all had blaster burns on their armour.

Hunter nodded his agreement and felt his heart beat that little bit faster with the flutter of hope. “Come on, we can’t stay here too long.” He directed as he and Wrecker turned away from the pawnshop.

As Hunter began to track your movements based on what he’d heard the trooper say, this finally being the right location was starting to feel a lot more plausible now.

--

There it was! You saw that faint glimmer of light in all the dark. It had to be them! You could feel it!

You jumped from your bed and grabbed your top and armour, hastily putting them on as you opened your door and bolted for the exit.

--

The weather had taken a turn for the worst, but you barely registered the pouring rain as you left the building. Your clothes were already soaked but it didn’t matter, you were too focused on holding onto that feeling of them.

“You’re the Jedi everyone is searching for.”

You whipped out your blaster and turned in the direction of the voice.

“No, wait! I don’t mean you any harm!” She came out from behind the skip with her hands in the air. “My name is-”

“Don’t tell me.” You interrupted sharply as you studied the Twilek before you. “How’d you find me?” You asked coldly. You didn’t lower your blaster either.

“It wasn’t easy. I’ve been following you since I knew of your arrival here. I thought I’d lost you when you disappeared for those three weeks.”

The fact you hadn’t sensed her presence at all told you that you were not what you used to be. You never used to be so sloppy. “I can’t have you knowing where I am.” You rested your hand over the trigger.

“Wait!” She reached a hand out to you. “I haven’t told anyone, and I won’t. I just need your help!”

“My help?” You repeated. “I can’t help you and I’ve got somewhere to be so-”

“Please.” She begged. “My sister, she’s sick and we barely have enough credits to feed ourselves, let alone get medicine.”

“Not my problem, I’m sorry.” Satisfied though that she wasn’t a true threat, you put your blaster away and got ready to leave.

“It wasn’t my sister’s problem that she got caught in a blaster fight and her wound got infected! No one asks for that!”

That made you pause. You’d had your fair share of shootouts in this place but you’d also you’re your best to minimise the damage to outsiders. “Where was the fight?” You found yourself asking quietly.

“About a month ago by the old shipyard on the outskirts of the city. We’d been told we could find some cheap transport off world, but something went down with the Imperials stationed there and my sister… I didn’t tug her down fast enough. I didn’t know what to do and then I heard of the Jedi that had landed in Christophsis and I knew I had to find you.”

A month ago… but that was where and when you’d gone to sell the ship… where’d you’d first been ambushed by the Imperials… no, there wasn’t meant to be anyone else there. Maybe you could… no, you didn’t have the time. Your aim was always good, it wouldn’t have been your shot that hit her. “I can’t.” You said dismissively, but there was a fading sense of conviction in your voice. Some part of you wanted to do the right thing by her. But it wasn’t enough to stop you pushing past her.

“I thought Jedi helped people!”

You stopped in your tracks and made a noise of resigned frustration as you turned around to face the young Twilek. “Wait here.”

You hastily ran back into your building, silently entered, and grabbed a few spare medical supplies from your kit before you ran back out to meet her again. “Alright, show me.”

--

Your place looked like a luxurious penthouse compared to where this young twilek and her sister were staying. It was virtually a single room with cracks in the walls and ceiling and there was a distinct damp aroma in the air. It was no wonder that they wanted to leave this place.

You then saw the smaller and younger twilek lying on a small mattress in the middle of the floor. There were drops of sweat dotted across her brow and she was shivering uncontrollably.

You’d never wanted anyone innocent to be affected by what you were doing yet it had happened with Lyra and now this child. “I’m sorry.” You whispered to her as you kneeled down beside her. You saw the bloodstain on her clothing and delicately lifted the end of her shirt to see the wound on her hip being covered by nothing more than a ripped piece of a shirt.  

“Can you help her?”

You half- turned to face the sister who was looking on fretfully. “I can clean the wound and reclose it. After that, it’ll be down to her. But the fact that she’d held on for so long is a good sign. She’s strong, she should be okay.”

The sister sighed in relief.

You brought out the supplies and recleaned and applied to bacta before you re-dressed the wound. “Do you have water?” You asked.

The sister nodded and dashed over to grab a cannister. She passed it to you.

“Lift her head.” You instructed gently.

She murmured words of comfort to her sister as she propped up her head.

As tenderly but as effectively as you could, you pushed the pill past her lips and got her to swallow it down with some water.

When her breathing had grown more controlled and her shivering had subsided, you go to your feet. “I’m leaving you some bacta and wound dressings along with some pills that’ll help with the fever. That’s all I can do now.”

“Thank you.” She clasped your hand tightly. “I won’t forget this.”

“It’s better that you do.” You said grimly. “And once she’s better, if you still need a way out of here, use the actual transports off this planet.” You chucked a bag of credits on the ground before you walked out of the room.

You rounded the corner but swiftly pressed your back against the wall since there was a group of stormtroopers directly in your path. You would have no chance of finding them with those soldiers in your way. You needed to find a way around them and what better way to do that than going from roof to roof. You summoned the Force and jumped to the top of the building and got moving.

You would get a better view from above anyway.

--

When another small squad of troopers made their presence known ahead, Hunter signalled him and Wrecker to an alleyway out of the line of their sight. He knew they were close to you, but the Imperial presence was making it hard to track you effectively.

“We can’t keep hiding like this, Hunter.” Wrecker grunted in frustration.

“I know, Wrecker.” Hunter agreed, equally as irritated. “If I could just-” He stopped suddenly.

“Hunter?”

“Someone’s here.” Hunter muttered quietly as his hand fell over his blaster.

“You’re getting sloppy, Sergeant. I’ve been following you the past 3 blocks.”

The voice that he’d been longing to hear and that was so familiar, he’d recognise it anywhere. His breath hitched with the realisation at what this finally meant. Hunter took off his helmet and turned around to the distant sound of feet hitting a puddle in the ground. And it was you. Standing there before him. It was finally you.

“Hello, Hunter.” You said softly, so softly you could barely hear the words themselves due to the sound of your own heart thundering in your ears. If it wasn’t for the flash of recognition in his eyes or the way Wrecker’s jaw dropped as he propped his helmet atop his head, you wouldn’t have been certain that you’d said anything at all. You tugged down your coverings and let yourself be unprotected to the rain.

He felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs. Hunter dropped his helmet and something akin to a choked gasp fell from his mouth as he could at long last lay his eyes on you. He started to slowly walk towards you but that soon became a run, water kicking up against him, but he didn’t care.

Your feet slapped against the wet ground as you met him halfway and crashed into his arms with a thankful sigh and buried your face in his neck. Even as you held him tightly to you, part of you still couldn’t believe that it was him. You felt something swell in your heart, a feeling you couldn’t place but knew you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Did you deserve this? Did you deserve to have him back after all you’d done? Pushing the thought away, you readjusted your embrace as if you could somehow hold him even closer.

He twisted his hands in your clothing and breathed you in. He’d imagined this moment for so long. When things seemed too dark and hopeless, he’d clung on to this. To think about how it would feel to finally see you again. To hold you again. And imagination couldn’t compare to the utter joy in his heart that reality brought him. He almost didn’t want to let you go for fear that you could be taken away again but practicality took precedence, the two of you couldn’t stay this way forever, as much as he might want to.

Tears mixed with rain streamed down both your cheeks as you parted from one another.

You cupped his face in your hands. “You’re here? You’re actually here?” You murmured, your voice cracking with emotion. You’d driven yourself crazy with picturing this moment, you needed to make sure this wasn’t your brain’s idea of a cruel joke.

Hunter removed your hands from his face and kissed your gloved knuckles. “I’m here.” He whispered back, his breathing still shaky as he pressed pressing his forehead into yours.

“You’re here.” You repeated as you looked into his soft brown eyes.

Hunter’s thumb gently caressed the cut on your lip, and he noticed the other wound on your nose. “Did they-”

You pulled his hand away. “Doesn’t matter. This is all I care about right now.”

Before Hunter could push the matter, he felt his brother approach.

“And what about me?”

You glanced past Hunter to the indignant but affectionate voice. “Hi, Wrecker.” You met his open armed invitation and let him swing your around as he hugged you.

“Good to see you, (Y/N)!”

“How’d you find me?” You asked as he placed you back down.

“You didn’t make it easy.” Wrecker griped. “We always seemed to be two steps behind you.”

“I haven’t exactly been hiding though.” You disputed as you pointed to a discarded wanted poster on the ground beside you.

“Between the Imperials and dead end leads and your rather annoying ability to hide in plain sight, it was tough. We got a lucky break with a guy whose brother owned another pawn shop here. Saw the results of a fight and figured we’d finally caught up with you.” Hunter explained as he came to stand in front of you and took his helmet from his brother.

You gulped. You’d be careful to make sure the people you’d gone after had no one they’d be leaving behind. You didn’t realise you’d messed up with that this time. “He- he had a brother?”

Hunter tilted his head at the unusually emotive response. “Apparently but I’m assuming you had a good reason for ending it the way you did.”

You coughed. “Yeah, totally.” You straightened your back and changed the subject. “Where’s Echo?”

“Using his contact to try to get more intel on Hemlock. We still don’t know where he’s holding Omega.” Hunter kicked the ground. “Don’t suppose you have anything?”

“I wish I did but everything I gathered was either old or what we knew already. He’s good at laying low.” You seethed.

“We’ll get him, though. We have too.” Wrecker stated firmly.

“How soon can you leave?” Hunter asked.

“Um, well-” You cut yourself off as your sight drifted past Hunter’s shoulder to the end of the alley at the lone trooper that had a blaster pointed at Hunter’s back.

“Watch out!” You yelled as you pushed Hunter out the way of the incoming blaster bolt. You drew your blaster and fired a shot that landed in the centre of the trooper’s chest, and he dropped to the ground. But you knew, where there was one stormtrooper, there would be at least five more behind them.

“We need to move out.” Hunter urged as he got back to his feet and put his helmet on. “A firefight will draw too much attention.”

“No time.” You stated simply as you pulled your hood and mask back up.

“We’ve got more incoming!” Wrecker confirmed as he lowered his helmet and opened fire on the small squad of troopers that had arrived.

The three of you took cover behind a skip, only firing defensive shots back. You needed to draw the soldiers closer before going on the offensive.

When they had gotten close enough, Hunter threw a smoke bomb, the action allowing the three of you to advance and take out the troopers one shot at a time.

As the firefight continued, however, you began to feel unsteady on your feet and your movements felt unbalanced. Your tingling limbs ensured that your aim was skewed too. All that, combined with the wetness you felt pooling from your stomach meant the trooper had better aim than you credited them for- you’d been hit. You couldn’t afford to think about what this meant, right now, you needed to get outta here.

But you’d been distracted long enough for one downed soldier you’d dismissed as being a threat to come around and jab their blaster against your knee. You grunted with the impact but turned your blaster on him and he lay limp on the ground.

Hunter and Wrecker tidied off the few retreating stragglers. They could deal with this small group but anything more would prove difficult.

With the last trooper taken care of, you braced yourself against the wet wall. The fading adrenaline in your system now being replaced by agony and you ripped your mask down and took deep but laboured breaths.

“Their reinforcements won’t be long. We made a bit of noise.” Wrecker said as he holstered his blaster.

But Hunter wasn’t paying attention to what Wrecker was saying. His gaze was fixed on you and the way you were struggling to hold yourself up against the wall. “(Y/N), what-” He stopped as he saw the crimson drops that mixed with the rainwater drip from the hand pressed to your stomach onto the ground. No, no, no. He thought to himself. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose you when he’d only just found you again.

Your knees buckled and you fell to the ground, Hunter catching your shoulder was the only reason you were able to stay sitting up but without the distraction of the fight, the pain was overwhelming. Black spots danced in the corners of your vision, but you couldn’t succumb to them, not now. Not after all this. You tried to lift your head to speak but all that left your mouth was a tortured groan.

As collected as he wanted to be to deal with this, he couldn’t totally keep his panic at bay. His hands trembled as he attempted to get you to look at him. He delicately brushed some loose strands of hair from your face. “Sshh, I’ve got you.” He whispered tenderly, fighting to keep the worry out of his voice. What made it all the worse was that he knew this wound didn’t occur through the fight they’d just seen out, you’d been hurt shoving him out the way of that first shot that drew the rest of the stormtroopers in.

How could he have allowed this to happen? What good were his enhanced senses if he couldn’t protect the people he loved. You shouldn’t have needed to push him out the way of that blaster bolt, he should’ve known the trooper was there and now you were paying the price for his mistake.

“What can we do?” Wrecker asked quickly.

You winced and tried for words again. “Medical centres are a no. Where’s- where’s the ship?”

“Landing bay 6.” Wrecker replied.

You inhaled sharply. Your current state made things all too easy for the Imperials to catch you making your way there. “Too far. We- we gotta get to my place. She- she might kill me but- argh!” You broke off with a cry of pain as you reached a hand up to Hunter. “But it’s safe there and- and she’ll know what to do.”

“Hold on.” Hunter rasped as he took a grip of your forearm and signalled to Wrecker to keep an eye out as he pulled you to your feet.

You pressed your hand into your side with a pained gasp as Hunter put his arm around you and supported most of your weight and the three of you got on the move.

--

“This is it?” Wrecker asked- his scepticism evident despite the pressing matter at hand- as he stared at the condemned building.

“All the regular penthouses were taken.” You kidded before you swayed on your feet as a wave of dizziness struck.

“Woah, easy.” Hunter cautioned as he strengthened his grip.

“Second floor.” You hissed. “And mind the fourth step on the second staircase. Half of it is missing.”

“It can never just be simple.” Hunter grumbled anxiously as Wrecker opened the decrepit door to the building.

“Would it really be a reunion if everything went well?” You joked deliriously.

“Right now, yes I would definitely prefer it.” Hunter fretted as he saw your head dip. You were losing the battle of staying conscious with each passing second. The next time it happened, he wasn’t sure you would be able to lift your head again.

--

Lyra had barely any time to process the familiar people standing in her doorway as she answered the pounding knock. All she could do was stare at you, half collapsed against Hunter’s side, your hand cradling your stomach, and then her eyes caught sight of the trail of blood that had followed your path up. “What-”

“Hey, girl. Remember- remember how I promised I wouldn’t put you through something like this again? Turns out, I shouldn’t- shouldn’t have done that.” You said through gritted teeth before you stumbled as you tried to take a step forward, prompting Hunter to lift you up.

“Please.” The hoarse plea was all Hunter managed to say.

“Lay her here.” Lyra quickly stepped aside to let the three of you in and pointed to the couch.

Hunter hustled inside and delicately placed you on the worn soft. He took off his helmet and kneeled by your head and stroked your hair back from your forehead. “You’re going to be alright. You need to hold on for me, okay? I’m not losing you again.” He whispered against your temple before he left a light kiss on your brow.

“Good news, it’s not as bad as last time.” Lyra said as she examined the wound before getting up to go gather the medical supplies.

“The bar is rather low on that front, Lyra.” You moaned.

“Last time?” Hunter found himself asking as he tore his stare from your bloody injury to Lyra.

Lyra didn’t respond, she was too busy staring at the depleted supply of medical care. She took a deep breath and braced her hands against the countertop. “(Y/N)… what happened to the bacta?”

Seemingly forgetting that you were currently in severe pain and bleeding out, you went to prop yourself up but Hunter’s hand gently pushing against your shoulder stopped you. “Hey.” You protested wearily.

“You can answer the question like that.” Hunter chastised.

“The bacta?” Lyra pressed as she rifled through the other cupboards in case it had somehow been misplaced.

No, not yet. You told yourself as the black dots returned. You blinked them away and took a strained breath before you answered. “I- I may have given it away…”

“You-” Lyra had to take a deep, calming breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “You gave it away? What in all the galaxy would possess you to do that?”

“Well, I saw someone in need and decided-” You broke off with another pained wince. “Decided to finally be a good citizen.”

Lyra released an exasperated sigh. “Do I need to remind you of your track record? You need bacta like the rest of us need water.”

“In my defence, I wasn’t planning on needing it anymore. This- this time really wasn’t my fault.”

“I quite frankly don’t give a fuck! You can’t just-”

“Can we do this later?” Hunter interrupted as he saw your face contort in discomfort. “Preferably when she’s able to hold a conversation without convulsing in pain?”

“I can run back to our ship and get some.” Wrecker offered as he lifted his helmet.

“Go.” Hunter said with a nod, but Lyra held out a hand to stop the bigger clone from going.

“She doesn’t have that kinda time. I can cauterise it the old-fashioned way, but it’ll just hurt like hell.” Lyra said with a grimace.

“That’s fine because I don’t think I’m going to be conscious for much longer.” The darkness encroaching on your vision was all too tempting and you were completely exhausted.

“No, you stay awake.” Lyra ordered sternly.

Hunter and Wrecker turned their attention sharply to you.

“Come on, (Y/N). You gotta hang in there.” Wrecker urged as he reached over the back of the couch and placed a large hand on your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, keep your eyes on me.” Hunter begged as he saw them flicker open and shut but it was a battle that he knew you were going to lose.

You wanted to; you really did but you just couldn’t. You shut your eyes and embraced the peace of the darkness.

 “Hunter, she’s still breathing right?” Lyra asked as she picked up the last few things she needed.

“Shallowly but yes.” Hunter said with a thankful sigh.

“That’s good enough.” Lyra ran back to the couch and began to start to process of stabilising you.

--

You were in a dim corridor. The only light seemed to at the end of the long passageway. You made to walk towards it, hoping it would show you a way out but as you walked, it seemed to move away from you. You broke into a run but the distance between you and the light only grew. You paused your run as you thought about what this could mean. It was then though that a voice spoke up and a figure appeared next to you.

You won’t get to it.

You faced the figure. It almost sounded and looked like you but there was something off about it. There was a yellow shimmer in the eyes and the face was gaunt and mean-looking, with lips that seemed to be in a permanent sneer. The voice carried a cruel, sinister overtone that made your blood run cold and the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

It’ll keep staying away from you.

But why? You studied whatever it was before you as they circled you. When it walked, it was cast in constant shadow.

You think after all you’ve done; you can have that light back? You think you deserve it?

Before you could form a reply, your attention was drawn to a scene unfolding to your right.

Aww this was your first failure. But it brought me to the surface, so I remain pretty grateful.

Your breath caught in your throat as you recognised the moment. You saw your master completely surrounded by battle droids, taking hit after hit. And you saw yourself as a Jedi Knight sprinting to reach him. You went to turn away, but a strong hand grabbed the back of your neck, forcing you to keep looking.

There’s you. Being too late to save him. Do you remember the last words you said to him?

You did and they were words you had regretted ever since.

‘Stubborn, foolish, out of touch, old timer whose only purpose was to be a pawn for the orders of the Jedi Council’ I believe they were.

Stop it.

He died knowing you failed him.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you heard the final shot that sent your master crumbling to the ground.

You got a taste for it then.

Despite the fact you wanted to refuse, you found yourself opening your eyes to seeing yourself utterly decimate the remaining droids by your master’s dead body. You saw the merciless gleam in your eyes and the callous smile that graced your face as you destroyed them. You had enjoyed that. The scene finished with you repeatedly bringing your lightsaber down on the final droid, the blue blade moving in unrestrained fury. Why did you show me that? You asked bleakly.

But the darkness didn’t give you a proper answer. It only pushed an icy finger on your lips. Pay attention, we’re not done yet. It took you a while to accept that this was always in you. You worked on shutting me out. You managed for a while… but then she left.

You wanted nothing more than to leave this place and this darkness before you, but all control had been taken from your body. Your feet began moving of their own accord and you were directed to another moment on your left this time. You were stopped and the hand took a harsh grip of your neck again. You were forced to watch Ahsoka walk out the Council Chamber doors, with Anakin following her and then you viewed yourself in horror as you saw the rage written across your face and heard the venom in your words as you yelled at the Council. Had you really been that uncontrolled? That angry?

Even though you finally left those uptight pricks, you still insisted on keeping me hidden though. Rather irritating I must say. I wondered what it would take for you to accept me. And then he came into your life.

You were pushed along the hall again to the next part which was replaying your first interaction with Hunter and your chest felt tight. Leave him out of this.

Oh, but he’s the best part. Your figure taunted nastily.

The scene switched and were now being greeted with flashes of your intimate moments with Hunter. Enough.

The only reply came in the form was an unkind laugh.

Giving into that lust felt good, didn’t it? The possessiveness, the selfishness that came with having someone just for you was too enticing to pass up.

No, that wasn’t what it was at all. Stop.

You liked the feeling of knowing you could use that attachment to excuse any darker actions. You would be doing it for him, so it made it okay. It wasn’t love for him you were feeling, it was a love for the freedom to channel me that you craved. He was merely a convenient vessel.

No, you’re wrong! You insisted but your voice lacked conviction, everything was getting so twisted that you were now doubting the feelings you thought you never would.

The darkness just gave you a pitying look. Just keep watching and you’ll see I’m right.

So, you did. You were shoved further up the corridor to see you and the Batch together. Memories that you once would’ve looked back on in fondness were now tainted by pain and disappointment that you’d dragged them into your mess. The darkness took no notice of your distress, it just continued talking.  

Much to my delight, you grew to care for all of that group. I knew that attachment would lead to something marvellous for us and then it finally happened.

You moved along to the next scene and your breathing grew uneven as the image of Eriadu appeared. You couldn’t bear seeing this again but once more, you were left with no choice but to hear Tech say that dreaded plan and watch him fall to his death.

Of course, he was another one you were too slow to save but-

You wouldn’t hear this. No, we didn’t have the time. There was nothing I could’ve done. What happened was-

Oh, I know you tried telling yourself that, but my very existence tells me that you know if you’d allowed me in earlier, the situation itself wouldn’t have happened. You’d have killed Gerrera before he even had a chance to set those explosives off.

No, you’re wrong. You said through a shaken whisper, but you didn’t believe the words you were saying anymore.

Although I must say, I’m glad you didn’t quite give in then since I am rather pleased with how it all turned out. His death was the catalyst to a glorious chain of events. So much loss and broken trust. Finally, you had the reason to welcome me without restraint or regret.

You felt your anger rise as the voice kept talking whilst the scene changed from his death to Cid’s betrayal and Omega being captured and you being separated from Hunter. Nothing about that had been a blessing. It couldn’t have been. Shut up. You snarled. But the figure only smugly beamed.

There it is. There’s that power. You can deny it all you want but that was the best thing that happened to you. You let me in and from that point on, nothing stopped you getting what you wanted. And it felt divine. You know it did. Look at how formidable you are with me being a part of things.

You were dragged along the hall and all that appeared around you were the people in the galaxy you’d threatened, brutalised, and murdered. You had no other option but to watch and hear their tortured pleas and screams. You didn’t need the darkness to talk you through these this time, you recalled very clearly that during all of this, you’d felt not one bit of remorse. You’d thought they deserved it. You’d fallen so far, and a way back now seemed impossible.  

The darkness commented on a particular time where you were torturing a woman who’d been very difficult to track and get information from. Even when you did find her, she’d been loyal to the Empire, insisting you should’ve died with the rest of the Jedi traitors. You’d responded by cracking the individual bones in her fingers and hands before moving up to the bones in her arm. You’d broken her right clavicle before she’d finally told you what you needed to know. I particularly liked this moment. Do you remember how she couldn’t stand afterwards? All she could do was writhe on the floor in agony. Quite a humorous sight.

You remembered them all and it made you feel sick to your stomach now as you watched the endless stream of tormented and pained faces of people you had tortured and killed in your quest for information.

The last scene disappeared and despite the fact you had been walking along the corridor that whole time, the light had still remained far out of reach.

See? No matter how far you go, you’ll never reach that light. Why bother searching for it anymore? You know you’re better off alone. All you need is this power and you’ll be unstoppable. But since I know some part of you still cares for your clones, don’t trouble them with this. It’s not something that can be shared or fixed.  

The figure faded and you collapsed to your knees in defeat. You had succumbed to that darkness and hurt and killed too many people. You’d crossed that line, and you weren’t sure there was a way back for you and you wouldn’t take Hunter down with you. Or Wrecker and Echo. They deserved a chance to rescue Omega and set things right, and if being with Hunter meant that chance would be at risk, you wouldn’t take that from them. Even if it would kill you, it would be the last thing you did to protect your family. ‘No attachments. There is no emotion, there is peace.’ You had to finally listen to that part of the Jedi Code that you had fought against for years and… and you would let them go.

--

Once it seemed things were more under control, Wrecker broke the quiet. “I’m going to go keep watch.” He said before walking out.

There were a few minutes of silence, the only noise being the quiet hiss of Lyra sealing shut your injury now that she’d cleaned it.

“Didn’t know you had this skill set.” Hunter said into the quiet as he watched Lyra.

“I tell myself it’s not so different from stitching and making clothes. Plus, she kinda made it that I had to learn quick. There were just some things she couldn’t handle on her own.”

There was a dip in conversation again.

“I was sorry to hear about your kid... and Tech.” Lyra said quietly as she worked on you. She placed a bandage over your now closed injury and started to put away the medical supplies.

The mention of his brother’s name had him stiffening his posture. “Yeah, well, we’re going to find her.”

Lyra nodded understandingly before she indicated to you. “She’s been non-stop since Ord Mantell. She wouldn’t rest until she found you. Didn’t matter how dangerous things got, she wouldn’t stop.”

Hunter continued to stroke your brow. “She’s not the only one.”

“I almost wished she would. I thought the search was going to kill her. Especially after what happened last time.”

This wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned this now. And from the dynamic between the two of you since arriving here, he figured there was key subtext he was missing. He glanced over to Lyra. “What are you talking about?”

Lyra took a short breath. “It was a few weeks ago. She-” Lyra stopped as she heard you let out a soft groan.

“Hey you.” Hunter said softly as you slowly opened your eyes. “How are you feeling?”

You didn’t answer him. Whatever soreness you were experiencing wouldn’t come close to the misery your next course of action would cause you. “Thank you. Again.” You said to Lyra instead.

Lyra nodded. “I’ll go keep Wrecker company.” She said before grabbing her sniper rifle and making her exit.

Hunter brought his focus back to you and provided a supportive hand on your back as you sat up. “Take as long as you need. I figured once you’re feeling more up to it, you can say your goodbyes and leave with us. After-”

“You have to go.”

“Yes, I know…” Hunter said, tilting his head at you. “But you need a bit of time and-”

“No, you need to leave without me.”

Without you? No, you couldn’t mean that. “What’s-” He stopped for a moment to try and recover from the confusion your statement caused him. “What’s changed between that alleyway and now?”

You knew he wasn’t going to make this easy but every minute you had to do this was tearing you apart. “Everything has. The Empire knows what I am. It’ll add unnecessary heat.”

“We’ll cope.”

You swallowed harshly and grimaced as you readjusted your sitting position. “It’s not just that. Things changed when we got separated. I changed.”

“That doesn’t scare me.”

“It should. All I’ve done…” You trailed off and gulped. “I’m not who I used to be.”

 “I’ve done things I’m not proud of too. But we can-”

 “Hunter, I don’t belong with you anymore.”

Hunter couldn’t accept that. “You’re one of us. You always have been. Since the first moment you stepped in front of those droids on Devaron, you were one of us. I don’t understand why-”

“There’s someone else.” You blurted out and fuck you hated yourself for it. You knew by the way he recoiled from you and from deep hurt and betrayal that flashed across his face, you would’ve been better off hitting him. You knew you had to hurt him. Even if he left hating you, you could find a way to let him go. But you hated that you had to do it.

“There’s someone else.” Hunter repeated quietly, his throat bobbing as he kept his voice tight.

You had to push it. It was the only way, but it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest as you said the next words. You forced yourself to keep your voice cold and level. “I’ve moved on. I only needed to know that you were alive. And now I do. You can go now. Just leave and don’t think about me again. It’ll save us all a lot of bother.” You couldn’t face the wounded look in his eyes and you turned your own away from him and had to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.

Hunter clenched his jaw and swallowed thickly. “Look me in the eye and tell me that again.” He implored.

He knew you too well. You wouldn’t do it. If you did, he would know you were lying. So, you opted for something worse- you would manipulate his heart. “If any part of you still cares about me, you will go. That’s all I want now. I need you to leave. You’ll only be hurting me more if you stay.” You said firmly as you faced him again.

You sounded so sure, and even if he thought he could see something in your eyes that took the conviction out of your words, he’d never want to cause you pain, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. Better him be the one to take the hurt, no matter how unnatural it felt, no matter how much every fibre of his being yearned to stay by your side and work this out. So, Hunter got to his feet and walked over to the door. “Every part of me still cares about you.” He murmured back to you before the door opened and he walked out. He was walking out on you- something he thought he’d never do- and it left him feeling like he had a gaping hole in his chest.

--

As you heard the door shut, a broken sob left your lips and you let the tears fall.

--

“Where is she?” Lyra asked as Hunter came out from the door behind them.

“Keep her alive.” Hunter said numbly to Lyra before he walked away.

“Hunter-” Lyra started to say but the clone wasn’t stopping.

“Eh, well, I guess it was nice to see you.” Wrecker said hurriedly before he darted after his brother.

“Bye.” Lyra said with confusion as she watched the two clones go. She turned to go back inside and hopefully knock some sense into you.

--

You’d managed to drag yourself into the sanctity of your room, but the isolation wasn’t helping things. The regret you were feeling was overwhelming but what was done was done. You needed to stand by your choice, it was what was best for them, you just needed to learn how to cope. You needed something, anything, to distract your brain from the self-doubt running rampant in your head so, staying mindful of your wound, you tentatively sat back on your bed and closed your eyes, drowned out the pouring rain smacking against the glass, and found your centre again.

Not to your surprise, you were only surrounded by darkness. You’d let the last light in your life go, there was nothing left for you now.

Spark.

Not that voice. Not again, you couldn’t handle that. “No, I’m not doing this.”

Yes, you are. You need to listen to me, Spark.

You sighed and saw the figure of your old master appear in the vast space before you. “So, either I somehow took a turn and I’m dead or I’m hallucinating.”

Your master simply chuckled. Must it always be extremes with you?

“You taught me what I know, you tell me.”

Well, based off your past choices, I would say you’ve forgotten much of what I taught you.

“This is why you’re in my head? To lecture me about my choices? Yes, I broke the code, big whoop. I never liked it anyway. And now I’ve given into the dark side, sorry to have disappointed you.” You grumbled as you looked down at your feet.

He sighed. It hurt him to see you look so defeated, this wasn’t the young Jedi he’d raised. Evidently, you were going to need more help than he expected. This isn’t some meditative trick. I’ve always been with you, Spark, and now I’m with you because you need help. You’ve strayed from your path, and you need guidance.

“You’re a few months too late, Master.” The title came back into your vocabulary so naturally, you’d nearly missed the fact that you’d reverted back to your student/teacher dynamic so quickly.

That defeat you’re feeling is exactly why I’m here now. This dark side you seem to think is your destiny is not decided, but if you continue to stand by the decision that you just made, it will be. There’s a chance for you, Spark, don’t throw it away.

You couldn’t bring yourself to believe him. “If you’ve truly been around for all of this, you’ll know what I’ve done. You’ve seen what I’ve become. I wasn’t as strong I thought I was.”

You haven’t fallen yet. He reiterated. What you’ve gone through would wreck most people, the fact that you’ve only strayed from the light now is a credit to you. But this choice you’ve made to let them go is what will seal your fate.

“What are you talking about? I was on this path long before what happened on Ord Mantell. I saw it!” You said, your voice rising in frustration and distress. Why was everyone around you so insistent that you could heal from this? You’d shown your true colours years ago, you were only doing what you were obviously meant for.

He raised his hands to calm you. Spark, listen to me. You’re not-

“I had to let him go! I had to let them all go! You should be glad, Master! I’m finally following the teaching you worked so hard on getting through to me!” Your breathing grew more uneven and the word that left your mouth were filled with self-loathing, but you couldn’t stop them. “I’m damaged goods, I have been from the beginning, and I couldn’t bring him down with me! I couldn’t bring any of them down with me!” You felt tears slide down your cheeks as the emotion you had been trying to hard to push down came crashing to the surface.

And is letting attachments go part of the Jedi or Sith philosophy? He asked gently.

His genteel manner caught you off guard. You huffed out a quick breath. “Why does that matter?”

Answer the question, please.

You released an agitated sigh. “Jedi, I guess but-”

And let me ask you this, you said you saw what you’ve done? How?

You regained some composure. “I don’t know how to describe what it was I saw, but whatever it was took me down a lovely stroll through memory lane and I saw what I was. There’s no denying it now.”

It was starting to make sense to him now and with this new understanding, he finally knew the best way to help you. Yes, the dark side can be very manipulative that way. Especially when it knows there’s been pain plenty of pain and sorrow. It preys upon that and I’m just sorry it got to you before I could.

“What are you talking about?”  

What you saw, it wasn’t the whole truth.

Not the whole truth? “What do you mean?”

He looked at you with intrigue. What do you think I mean?

You inhaled deeply to find some patience. “Master, please. I’m not your padawan anymore.”

He bowed his head in acknowledgement. You’ll always be my padawan, Spark. But I understand this may not be the best time for one of my lessons.

Despite everything, the nostalgia his teaching persona brought you had you humming out a quiet laugh. “I guess working together on whatever cryptic lesson you’re going to impart on me will be fine, for old times sake if nothing else. Just don’t leave it all to me. I’m not clear-headed enough to do all the thinking.”

He nodded and smiled knowingly at you. It will be less cryptic that the lessons I used to give you. Let us begin.

You knew that gleam in his eye and you forgot that no matter how agitated or frustrated you’d been growing up as his pupil, he’d always found a way to put you at ease and you’d been more open to learning again. Even dead, he still seemed to possess that ability. And it was because of that, you found yourself getting ready to welcome whatever wisdom he felt could get you out of this hell you’d put yourself in.

Now, I understand that you are feeling a lot of guilt and self-loathing, correct?

Feeling it? You felt like you were drowning in it.

And you have convinced yourself that your clones, particularly… Hunter, isn’t it? He waited for your nod before continuing, are better off without you because you’ve done too much. Stepped over that line one too many times? A lost cause, yes?

“I guess you could say that.” You mumbled.

He hummed in thought before he spoke again. You mentioned something about you were this way from the beginning. Can you tell me to which beginning you are referring to?

You inhaled shakily. “I- I saw you die again. I watched myself destroy the rest of those droids in undisciplined rage and- and I was reminded of what I’d said to you.”

Ah yes, that was quite the day. Rather humiliating on my part, I must say. I should’ve just listened to you from the start. My we exchanged some choice words. He ruminated with a small chuckle.

You remembered him having a rather dry sense of humour, but this just seemed absurd. You’re laughing about this?! I was awful to you! I saw you die and all I could do was wreak havoc on a group of droids and I enjoyed it! I held your dead body in my arms and the last thing I had done was insult you and forget everything you’d taught me for some fucking battle droids!”

He held up his hands to appease you. You’re right, I shouldn’t have laughed but that wasn’t quite how it went.

You furrowed your brow. “What? I saw it! I remember it pretty clearly, even without the reminder. I’m haunted by it and you’re telling me that wasn’t what happened?!”

He shook his head. Not quite. Remember, the dark side has a remarkable ability to alter events to fit its needs. It only picks out the moments necessary to draw out those darker emotions. What you saw was true, from a certain point of view, but it didn’t show you everything.

“Then what am I missing?” You asked, desperation in your voice because if there was anything that could help ease the ache from that day, you needed it.

I wasn’t dead when I hit the ground. Fret not, no amount of medical attention would’ve saved me. He interjected hastily as he saw the panic that graced your face. Although the sadder truth is I did in fact die in your arms but… He angled his head to catch your eye again as you had shied away from him upon hearing that. He started again, but your last words to me were not fuelled by irritation or cruelty, you apologised for what you said as well as how you handled those droids. You told me that I was the best teacher you’d ever had, and you promised you would continue to work on what I taught you and to make me proud. That was the last thing you said to me before I passed on. And I can honestly say, Spark, that you kept your promise, despite how it might seem currently.

You went to speak but found that you didn’t have the words. All these years spent being tormented by a memory that in fact had another side to it, could that be right? Seeing it again had made it seem all the more true but there was nothing but sincerity in his face and voice as he told you this. He wasn’t looking to feed you a false narrative, there was no vindictiveness in his tone.

You don’t have to believe me immediately, I know things have been tough but we’re going to go through this and I’m going to help you see the truth, okay? He said tenderly.

You could only nod.

Okay. He straightened up. I’m going to make an educated guess and say that if that incident was the starting point, the next situation would’ve been that unfortunate time with Ahsoka and the Jedi Council and also the day you decided to leave?

You gulped and found your voice again. “Um, yeah.”

And I expect you were shown yourself in an untamed rage with little concern over the words you used?

You gave a stiff nod of your head.

Uh huh, well, once again, you were shown a manipulated memory created from shame. You were unhappy, and I can’t say I blame you, they really fucked that up if you pardon the phrase.

You couldn’t help but snort at his gentlemanly manner and you were reminded of the many telling offs for language you’d received growing up.

And while you were disappointed in them and frustrated, you never lost control of yourself. Your voice was raised but level. You were clear in your points, and you never said anything untoward save for some unsavoury language sprinkled in. He watched you impart the familiar eye roll as he said that last statement, but he took that as a positive sign. Your attachment to Ahsoka didn’t cloud your judgment, your decision to leave was made with a steady heart and a focused head. And I watched you do it and I knew it was the best decision for you. It did set things in motion, but they were good things for you, Spark, and it’s important that you realise that again. He looked at you earnestly.

You held his gaze, and, in his eyes, you saw the master that had been with you through thick and thin. The master that had put up with your questions and doubts about the Jedi Order that the Jedi Council could hardly tolerate. You saw the master that had mentored you and fought by your side for years. He was one of the people that had known you best. He wouldn’t lie to you, and you felt your heart opening up to what he was saying to you.

Shall we continue? He asked after giving you a minute to process.

You shook your shoulders and exhaled heavily before you looked at him and give him a single, firm nod.

--

He had taken you through various events bit by bit. Pointing out that elements that demonstrated you were still being pulled towards the light. Things like you would’ve either left or killed Lyra the second she’d gotten you out of Ord Mantell and her use was over. Things like you wouldn’t have offered so many opportunities for people to talk to you before you injured or killed them, you would have hurt them first and asked questions later- killing and pain had never been your first port of call. And any firefight that ensued, when possible, you made sure you remained the primary target and civilians would be out of harms way.

Concern for others and worry about the consequences of your actions… Sith and dark side users tend not to feel or allow for these things. He surmised.

Even if what he was revealing to you was the whole picture, there was still the pressing matter of how you’d been in the recent months. “But Eriadu and everything that followed after… I let something in, what was it if not the dark side?”

He gave you a sympathetic smile. You had never experienced loss and betrayal in such quick succession before. What you let in was the anger and anguish you were feeling which you weren’t trained to handle properly. The more you went on, the more those emotions twisted your brain which allowed the darkness to creep in and make it more effortless to act on said emotions. It was easier for you to get what you needed with your emotions being what they were, and you didn’t have to think about who was getting hurt. You got a rather bad case of tunnel vision- you were doing bad things for good reasons, but they were not senseless acts of violence.

“But I have done so many bad things.” You said with self-directed disgust.

Yes, but what you can do now is work towards finding that line again. To finding that control you had in the past. You’ve been on that path since this morning, the self-awareness of what you’ve been doing wasn’t present in the months before today. However, you cannot get back to that place alone anymore, you’ve changed since you left the Order and most of it was for the better, but more attachment means more support. You will not be able to find that balance if you let your family go. He said with a sense of urgency. He needed you to grasp what he was telling you, no matter how unnatural it might feel.

Your pulse quickened. Surely, he wasn’t suggesting what you thought he was? “What are you saying, Master?”

Do you know where your nickname originated?

Confused as you why this was suddenly relevant, you angled your head at him. “I always figured it was because word spread that I made my lightsaber slightly wrong the first time and nearly set it on fire when I first ignited it.”

He chortled. That acted more as a visual aid and a helpful addition to the true origin.

“Then where did it come from?”

He took a deep breath. In the weeks leading up to the time for us to choose a youngling to take under our wing, you caught my eye from the start. It wasn’t just your natural ability with a lightsaber or your quick grasp of the Force, it was how you interacted with the people around you. During the trials, you had a heightened care for how the others were performing and you aided them whenever you could without a second thought. It made you more focused, more effective. You were unique from your peers in that sense and in a way that I’d never seen before, and I knew I had to get to know you more to understand what it was I was picking up on.

“Yeah, I remember. I’d never expected someone to choose me so eagerly, especially since my disciplinary record was far from perfect, even at that age.” Youreminisced with a sigh.

Yes, my fellow Jedi were surprised at my decision, but there was just something within you I had to see for myself. As we got to understand each other and I could officially begin your training, I watched you continue to demonstrate this quality and I could feel it residing in the Force within you. You had this spark, this fire that drove you which would worry even the most disciplined Jedi Masters but with you, it was as much a part of you as the Force was with the rest of us. You were completely at peace with it, and it was something you probably didn’t realise was so rare. You could feel attachment without rejecting the light side of the Force to do so.

So, the name made a bit more sense after all these years, but you still couldn’t see why this was being brought up. “Okay…”

He could tell you were still hesitant to all this. Do you know which General had the most victories with the fewest casualty numbers? Quite a feat to have during war time I might add.

You huffed a heavy breath from your lips. “I have no idea. The war was such a mess and there were so many of us that it was hard to keep up with the results of each battle.”

Fair point. He conceded, but that doesn’t change the answer which is that it was you.

You were taken aback for a moment before you thought back to that period and part of it did make sense. Many of your strategies had seen you take on the most dangerous elements for the sake of the clones in your battalion despite protests from them, your master and pretty much everyone that was involved, but all that mattered to you was that they worked, and you did what you could to protect everyone else.

He knew you enough to recognise that face and he figured whatever it was you were thinking about would relate to his next question. And which General had the most visits to the medical wing? Another impressive award. He added with a hint of disapproval, his mask of control slipping slightly as he frowned at the memories of the countless notifications he’d receive of your admittance to the healing wards of the Jedi Temple.

You cringed as you remembered the fact you had been on a first name basis with all the medical personnel. “I did.”

He nodded. Attachments didn’t bring you down, they lifted you up. Their most negative consequence in that period seemed to be the recklessness they gave you- and my hair greying faster than I would’ve liked. He couldn’t help but say before he continued, but they didn’t unbalance you like they did most of us. And it is on that point my dear Spark, that I failed you.

“Failed me?” In what galaxy could he have possibly failed you when you were the one that had forgone all you stood for and was one slip away from total self-destruction.

When it became clear to me that this was indeed one of your best qualities and strengths, I was thrilled! It presented a challenge for me as you Master that I was looking forward to exploring! Your emotional attachment to people and causes was one I wanted to teach you to manage, not forbid. Your love and care didn’t make you more susceptible to the dark side and its dangers, it drew you closer to the light. That fire that burns within you isn’t a threat, it’s your way to become something greater. But the Council… He trailed off with a regretful sigh. They rejected my proposal that I mentor you in this way. So instead, as you got older, I worked on forcing you to dampen that flame within you but- He stopped for a moment and chuckled wryly. As you may remember, that was when the root of our conflicts started. Foolishly and rather selfishly-and this is an example of how even those of us that followed the Jedi Code to the letter slip from time to time- you passing your trials into Knighthood gave me profound relief. Not only did it mean I could see you become the Jedi you were always meant to be, but it meant my duty as your teacher was over and I could stop doing something I was against. But I shied away too much and stopped teaching you altogether, had I just been less of a ‘pawn of the Council’ as you quite rightly put it, what you’re experiencing now could have been avoided.

You took a moment to let his words sink in, but you wouldn’t let him blame himself for how you’d behaved in recent times. “I still made the choices to hurt those people, Master. You’re not responsible for my actions.”

Perhaps not, but I could’ve done more to make sure you were better equipped to deal with the loss attachment could bring rather than just tell you to stop feeling it altogether. Not that you listened to that anyway. He added with a slight grin.

You allowed yourself half a smile at that before his face turned sombre again.

But I should’ve stood up for you and for that I’m sorry.

You bowed your head in acceptance of his apology. “But what does all of what we’ve talked about have to do with where I am now?”

Everything I’ve shown you, everything you’ve felt in these recent months illustrates someone who had to cope with a tremendous amount of grief when they had been told their whole life to not feel or get attached. Even with your strength and abilities, Spark, that was a big ask, your actions, and the internal conflict you’re going through is an understandable outcome. But even in dealing with that struggle, you were never purely evil or sought to abandon your Jedi teachings. The only time I grew truly worried before now was whatever you did a few weeks ago. Even I couldn’t see you; it was like the very light around you was getting snuffed out. Care to tell me what you did?

You shook your head adamantly.  

Very well. As I was saying, all you’ve learned, all you’ve done and means you can heal from this. You are not a lost cause, not a source of darkness and despair. You are good at heart, Spark!

But Master, I-

No, don’t talk yourself out of this. Really think about what I’m telling you. You never abandoned Lyra, you did your best to ensure no civilian would be caught up in your fights, you offered chances to those people before you hurt them. And you were able to sense Hunter and Wrecker arrive. That source of light wouldn’t have shown itself if you were too far down that dark path.

Maybe so but-

He wouldn’t let you second guess yourself anymore. And when you realised that they were indeed on this planet… what did you do first?

You pondered for a moment before you remembered. I helped those sisters.

And when you found one another, you felt alive and hopeful again but because you’d been lost and confused for so long, it got manipulated into that guilt and regret and hurt you are experiencing right now that has left you exposed to this darkness. But before that, you were ready to free yourself of it, whether you truly realised it or not.

“Right…” You said distantly as you were slowly starting to understand what revelation he was guiding you towards.

I can see you working it out, you’re almost there. He encouraged.

Each lesson and aspect of this entire conversation began to click into place. “So, you’re saying that Hunter’s my light? He’s my way out of this?” You uttered quietly.

Isn’t he? He challenged with a supportive smile. And I believe he too made that fact very clear before you sent him away.

“I thought that was what I was supposed to do.” You said in dismay as your mind finally began to listen to what your Master had been telling you and you gained some proper clarity. What had you done?

He looked at you fondly. You were always a bad student when it came to applying and learning the history of our Code, it would fit that the first time you apply the philosophy to your life would be the poorer choice. They never unbalanced you, Spark. At the very least, they’re your way of staying true to the light side and your dark side knew that, hence it’s enthusiastic efforts to turn you.

You hid you head in your hands in embarrassment. You wouldn’t know a right decision if it smacked you in the face.  

Oh, and with regards to Cid and Hemlock, I leave that side of things entirely up to you, with your family by your side, I know punishing them however you like won’t ruin you.

“Thanks, Master.” You replied, a smile in your voice.

Not every Jedi gets the chance at a family, Spark, don’t throw it away now.

You glanced up in time to see him fade away but what was around you wasn’t pure darkness anymore; rays of light had broken into the gloomy space, with more fighting to get through.

--

You opened your eyes sharply and wiped away the damp residue of the tears that had escaped your eyes from your cheeks. He was right, they were the light in your life, and you’d been so stupid to let them go.

Ignoring the lingering pain of your injury, you hastily got to your feet, grabbed a couple bags of credits, and left your room only to be greeted by the disappointed and unhappy face of Lyra. “Hey, I was just-”

“You need to go after them. I’m sorry but I’m drawing the line here. I have not watched you put yourself through hell and risk your life month after month to find your family again only for you to throw it away for some stupid, fucked up, self-sabotaging reason! If you let them go, it will destroy you and as someone else who cares about you, I cannot allow you to do that! They’re your family, you need them, and they need you. And your kid needs you, you can’t just stop! And Hunter… that man is so in love with you it’s sickening, and you are as equally disgustingly in love with him! Whatever is holding you back, the two of you can get through together!”

“Lyra-” But she held up a finger to stop you.

“And you don’t need to worry about me, I will be fine. I’ll get a job and might even find a place that’s not a condemned building to live. You have to go!” She finished with a nervous exhale as she awaited your reaction.

“You’re right.” You agreed.

“Yeah, I am and- wait… what?” Lyra stared at you, shocked.

“I’m going after them.”

“You are?” She double checked.

“Yup.”

“Oh, thank fuck!” Lyra exclaimed before she darted forward and wrapped you up in her arms.

“How long were you coming up with that speech?” You kidded as the two of you hugged.

“For however long you were holed up in your room.” Lyra said with a laugh. “And in case you didn’t listen to that, I had my rifle set to stun and was fully prepared to drag you.”

“Glad we could avoid that.” You replied drily. “Also, ‘sickeningly in love?’” You quoted.

“I meant that as a compliment. Most people can only dream of that.”

You managed a short laugh. “I was an ass to you.” You mumbled shamefully.

“You were, but you were going through a lot.” Lyra said kindly as she removed herself from your hold.

“I was broken and hurting but that wasn’t an excuse to treat you how I did and I’m so sorry. I’m truly grateful for you and your friendship and well, just everything you’ve done for me. I won’t ever forget it. There are some spare bags of credits from those jobs I pulled whilst we were on the move in my bedside drawer, take them. And if there’s anything, and I mean anything you need, I will be there. You only have to get in touch.” You passed her the details of the Marauder’s comm channel.

“Go get ‘em.” Lyra said with a grin.

You gave her one last quick hug before you ran out the door, concern for your injury was pushed far to the back of your mind. You only prayed to the Force that you hadn’t left it too late.

--

“But I still don’t understand why we’re going without her. What you’ve said makes no sense.” Wrecker questioned as he followed Hunter up and down the Marauder as he got stuff ready for take-off.

“Not my problem, Wrecker. I don’t really want to relive it all again so that it makes sense to you.” Hunter said gruffly as he avoided making eye-contact with his brother and instead focused on keeping himself busy.

“She met someone else and you’re basically doing the whole ‘if you love someone you let them go?’”

“I guess that about sums it up.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Wrecker-”

“I’m sorry, Sarge, but it’s true.”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t hear her.”

“She can’t have meant it! She still has your insignia, if there was someone else, why would she keep that?!”

“Wrecker, drop it.” Hunter said sharply. His brother’s insistence that you were making all this up was only rubbing salt in the wound.

“We’re really just going to leave and forget about her?”

“Yup.”

Wrecker just couldn’t accept that. “If you love someone, you fight for them! Otherwise, what’s the point in what we’re doing right now, why should we bother going after Omega?”

Hunter paused his pacing by the doorway and released an exasperated sigh. “What do you expect me to do?”

Wrecker went to speak but changed his mind as to what he was going to say as he saw the figure in the background. “Actually, I don’t think you’ll have to do anything.” Wrecker said, looking past Hunter’s shoulder.

Hunter turned to follow his gaze and that was when he saw you. Standing in the torrential rain a few feet away from the steps to the Marauder, was you and you were obviously trying to catch your breath.

--

You started to speak before you caught your breath, so your words were leaving you in a desperate and winded manner. “I was always a bad student.” You raised your voice over the sound of the pouring way. You wiped some drops away from your face, a futile gesture given the intensity of the downpour, but the motion assisted in grounding you for this moment.

Hunter studied you from afar for a second, unsure as to why you’d started this way.

Sensing his uncertainty, you cleared your throat and started again but your words still spilled from your lips in a nervous ramble. “So, it turns out I was always a Jedi who developed attachments and love for people, but apparently that’s a pretty strong and unique quality and applying the Jedi philosophy of ‘letting attachment go’ is a mistake and- and it felt like one. I have such a poor grasp of that concept that even when I went to use it properly, I got it all wrong. I was always a terrible student but for once, for once in my life, I have never been more grateful for it.” Your voice quivered as you said these next words. “I love you! I love you so much it hurts but it’s the kind of hurt that I can’t imagine not having in my life. You, this team, are what keep me balanced and alive, and I was stupid to think letting you go was the solution to everything I have done!”

Hunter could feel his heart thundering in his chest as he listened to what you were saying.

“Finally seeing you again made me feel hope and brought a newfound sense of purpose in my life I didn’t think I’d have again but it got all twisted, I let it get all messed up! I saw you and Wrecker, and I felt that love again and it terrified me at first! I had been acting out and miserable for so long that I didn’t think I deserved to feel this way again or that I should burden you all with my past. I needed to be punished and this was the best way I could think of. I allowed whatever darkness that had been driving me for that period we were apart to convince me that you were better of alone and I had to say whatever I could to get that to happen and for that, I am sorry!” You were in full flow now, all the emotions you’d been supressing came crashing to the surface and for once, it actually felt good. You weren’t existing as a husk of armour anymore.

Hunter couldn’t stand the gap between you anymore and he got his feet in motion. He needed to be near you, he needed to hold you again. You didn’t seem to notice his movement though because you carried on talking.

“There was never anyone else, there could never be anyone else! You’re it for me and this-” You stopped and gestured to the half white skull insignia on your top layer. “When I had this and said that you were a part of me, I truly meant it! Even when we weren’t together, that feeling never faltered. Half my heart beats for myself and this family I was fortunate enough to find. The other half beats for you! You are so deeply engrained in my very being that when I didn’t have you, I could hardly call it living! And then I got you back, and I was flooded with all the emotions I’d been missing since that day we were separated, and they collided with everything I’d done wrong, and I just panicked! I entered self-sabotage mode and thought letting you out of my life was what I had to do! I ruined one of the few remaining good things in my life and was preparing myself to let it be so. Thankfully, it was pointed out to me just how incorrect I was and I’m sorry!”

Hunter kept slowly walking down the steps towards you, the heavy rain instantly cascading down his face and body, but he didn’t care. His sole focus was on you now and the words you were saying. The words that were now healing the open wound he’d had since leaving you in that run down apartment.

“I need to come back. I need to be with you and I’m sorry I got everything so wrong! I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, but you have to let me come back!”

“Yes.” He said as he continued to shorten the distance between you both.

“This family is the light of my life. You are the light of my life. So, either, let me come with you or just shoot me because without you, without this squad, I am just a shell of a human being and I’m done feeling like that now! You have to let me come back!”

“Yes.” Hunter said again as he stopped in front of you.

“And I-” You cut yourself off as you finally registered what he was saying and that the space between you both was now only a matter of inches. “Really?”

Hunter nodded and his hand fell to your waist whilst the other cradled the side of your face.

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” You whispered softly as your hand rested on his now unarmoured chest and you got utterly absorbed in the feeling of his heart pounding beneath your fingertips- each beat emphasising that this was real, you were actually with him now- and you had no doubt that he could pick up on the way your own pulse was racing.

“It’s okay.” He breathed. “I love you too.”

“I love you.” You croaked out again as you felt the emotions rise in the back of your throat.

“You never stopped being a part of me either.” He murmured, his breathing heavy as his self-restraint was hanging by a thread, but he needed you to be sure. “Can I-” Hunter started to ask as he angled his head and slowly brought his lips closer to yours.

“Yes.” You cut him off. If he didn’t kiss you now, you felt as though you might stop breathing.

Hunter swiftly bridged the remaining distance and the dread he’d been experiencing at the idea of never finding you, at the idea of leaving you behind instantly evaporated in this moment as he finally placed his lips on yours.

You sighed into the sensation of experiencing this again and what began as hesitant and careful, soon became a kiss between two people fuelled by passion who had been apart for far too long and who would never be apart again. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed yourself against him.

Hunter first made sure he held you securely in his arms but as the kiss progressed and both of you became more immersed in feeling each other once more, his hands started caressing everything he could find. The actions elicited a small but desperate noise from you which he already felt drunk off of and he needed to hear more of you. The rain that had once felt like a harsh cascade of cold, damp water now felt gentle and tepid. He got utterly absorbed in your warmth and he tasted the water on your lips, but the interference didn’t bother him, he just relished the feeling of having you back in his embrace again.

You faintly registered the sun breaking through and the rain lightened in its deluge as you kissed him. If it wasn’t such a perfect moment, you might’ve laughed at the cliched nature of it all, but you were too caught up in this feeling that you ignored it. You threaded your fingers in his hair and lightly tugged, soliciting that raspy and familiar groan from him and your stomach fluttered at the feeling.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t ignore your current injury any longer and you felt it strain as Hunter held you tighter to him in response to your actions.

Hunter forced himself to pull away upon feeling your wince, his chest heaving as he worked on getting oxygen back into his lungs, but you interrupted his incoming question by continuing to plant light, affectionate kisses on the rest of his face and he couldn’t help the low but happy laugh that he let out. He lightly grabbed your shoulders and took a slight step back to take you in. The way the sun fell across your face had his breath catching in his throat. Your eyes were bright and looking at him with an adoration that he knew was reflected in his own gaze and the blissful smile on your lips beautifully captured the feelings of this moment. He rested a hand on the side of your face.

You looked into his own shining dark brown eyes and leaned into his touch with a soft and content sigh.

Hunter continued to slowly caress your cheek. “Not to disrupt your healing journey, but I have to ask… where do you stand on Cid and Hemlock?”

“Oh, don’t worry, they’re getting fucked up. I have permission on that front.” You said with a decisive nod. “I just have to watch the line with those that aren’t exactly personally involved.”

Not going to question where this permission came from exactly, he was just grateful whatever had happened, had brought you back to him so he just focused on the last part. “I can help with that. And you can look out for me too. We don’t have to do this alone anymore.”

You gave him an agreeing and grateful smile before you planted another tender kiss to his lips and grabbed his hand as the two of you walked back to the ship.

“This you officially back with us now?” Wrecker asked with a grin as you stepped aboard.

“You won’t be able to get rid of me.” You replied with a small smile as you gazed around you. There were times where you had felt uncertain as to whether you would stand amongst these comforting and familiar walls again, and your senses were flooded with the memories you had created and shared here. You swallowed harshly as you saw Omega’s and Tech’s spaces, but you regained your composure as you walked along the hallway. Your hand traced along the bunk you shared with Hunter and a soft sigh left your lips as you were instantly reminded of the slightly more personal moments you had experienced there.

It felt good to be home.

“Ready?” Hunter asked as you finished in the cockpit. He came beside you and wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you tight to him as Wrecker put the ship in hyperspace.

You nodded. “Let’s go get our girl.”

Next Oneshot>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @brujaporfavor, @starwarsnerd111, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @skellymom, @lokigirlszendaya

[genericpuff]

You should watch Jack vs. Webtoons video on Lore Olympus before it gets wrongfully taken down.

His video pointed out something I wasn’t able to put into words until now. Lore Olympus has a real bad dialect problem. One second the characters are talking like they’re in a Shakespeare play which makes sense, sense they’re gods or what not. The next second you’ll have characters saying shit like “blue balls” “clout chaser” and “you’ve got a young wife with a fat ass”. It probably wouldn’t bother me if certain people talked a certain way like how Hera doesn’t use any slang and how Hermes uses some but all the characters vocabulary are the exact same.

Honestly I can look past the art and it’s inconsistencies but having dialect jump from regal to tiktok facebook slang makes my brain hurt more than glossy lipped Hades and bug eyed Persephone.

I checked it out, it's pretty great haha and yesss this is something that's been discussed before but I haven't really ever made a post about, the dialogue is CONSTANTLY flip-flopping between royal talk and "hello fellow teens" quipping. Sometimes it feels like it's trying to be like Marvel and then other times it feels like it's trying to be Bridgerton. I can think of no better example than all of the "pedigree" talk, it makes me squirm every time I read it because in the modern context of LO, it SCREAMS eugenics. The whole B-grade goddess thing made sense, until they started talking about Persephone like a poodle:

But then you ALSO get INCREDIBLY stiff dialogue that makes it seem like the comic is either being written by AI or Rachel is actually a real life version of Michael Afton post-scoop:

And yes, there is a tinfoil hat theory that LO is being written by bots at this point because I don't know how a single person could write something so tonally confused. That said, I do think the more reasonable explanation is that Rachel is likely copying dialogue from shows and movies she's watching and just tweaking it slightly before slapping it into LO. She's not observing why the dialogue works in the media she likes, she just knows she likes it and slaps it in there without any regard for context, tone of voice, or personality.

And that leads to, as you said, all the characters sounding the exact same, and that metric by which they all sound the same changes all the time. I think at this point the only reason we haven't seen Hera dropping TikTok language is because she hasn't been onscreen long enough for her to get the chance LMAO That said, we've definitely gotten some weird inconsistent dialogue with Hera as well:

(like she's essentially saying the exact same thing across both of these panels but one is being said by an adult and the other is being said by a teenager lmao)

I think the dialogue is definitely one of the most glaring issues with LO, among all of its other problems. It just never feels like it's being written by a human, there are problems with this even as far back as S1 but it's become especially apparent in S2 onwards.

To finish off this ask, here's one of my favorite dialogue mishaps in the entire series, from S1, in which Apollo literally adopts an askew English accent:

[evelili]

I just finished your Magnum Opus, and it was super great. I especially loved the Pinkie chapter (which surprised me because she’s my least favorite character!). Anyway, do you have any mlp fic recommendations?

oh boy do i have a list for you, strap in!

if you read my magnum opus writeup, you may have seen i mentioned three authors that dragged me back into mlp. if you're interested in sciset (and what's probably the most popular eqg fic on the entire site), Long Road to Friendship by Albi is a longfic that started after the first eqg movie and is a rlly lighthearted read. i don't normally care for OCs but gosh if i dont accept Albi's version of trixie's parents as canon in my heart haha. if you're interested in pony adventure fic, i also rlly liked Sunset of Time, another rlly well done longfic ive carried in my brain since i first read it xd

the second author, Monochromatic, aka the raritwi authority aka someone who has a GREAT taste in editors, has written three of the most formative longfic ive ever read: The Enchanted Library, its sequel The Enchanted Kingdom, and Crimson Lips which i unfortunately can no longer link since she's taken it down, but i believe you can still buy physically through PFP if you wanted to take a gamble on it (it would be a very good gamble). apart from her longfic though i also adore some of her shorter works, including but not limited to The Choices We Make, a really interesting Pinkie study that's definitely shaped how i view her, Your Own Worst Enemy, which is just. peak rarity content, and Injuring Eternity, which while being one of her older works still has certain passages that wreck me emotionally on sight.

and the third author responsible for my magnum opus is the one and only Aragon, who i can not only recommend for his fics but ALSO for his blog posts and comics (see the comic index on his profile for links to all of them, as well as this amazing blogpost about his neighbour that is just peak comedy). he's also the writer responsible for the banger longfic Crime and Funishment which absolutely defined my writing aspirations for a few years and is the definition of comedy if you looked it up in my heart, as well as In Hindsight, yet another banger rarity fic, and Love Is In Doom which is just bloody, silly, stupid fun (and has sunset shimmer in it)

and then if we want to talk fics i love written by other authors, Sleepless Knights by r5h has my favourite brand of scitwi written right into the margins, Administrative Angel by horizon has one of the most amazing endings to an opening chapter ive ever read AND an amazing celestia, The Best Night Ever by Capn_Chryssalid is a fandom classic with a groundhog day twist on the gala episode from s1, Side by Side by Krickis is a feel-good rarijack oneshot w a focus on lgbt (specifically trans) themes, Wax Earplugs by Reedhoarse has a dysfunctional mess of an adagio dazzle that i adore, Merge Request by FanOfMostEverything has all the scitwi/midnight shenanigans you could ask for wrapped up in the relatable content of github hell, Guppy Love by PaulAsaran is a rarijack longfic with an incredibly realistic setting and an interpretation of mermaids that i love so much, Doused Flame by heartlessons has me handshaking on the "sopping wet pathetic relatable guy" flash sentry interpretation that won me over recently, 80 Days 'Til the World's Farthest Shore by Cynewulf feels like reading a professionally published short story (and i mean that in the best of ways, it's enthralling), and finally if you'll allow me to be self-centred a bit i also am very proud of my two oneshots Heartstrings and Something About Midnights if you wanted to check em out too xd

oops long post!! im not sorry for it, i hope you can find something in here that catches your fancy (or even all of it haha), there's soooo many incredible fics in the fandom it floors me every day that i can read all these incredible works for free!!!

[finley-theal1en]

i don't know what compelled me to do this but here's a list of how mcsm incorporated and expanded on elements from the game and mc community!!!

along with aspects of how mcsm was written that i really like!!!!

allot of the following will be taken either from things i noticed in the game itself and things the head writer @/stirpicus's blog from like. years ago

so first of all, i love the direction they went with in mcsm. for the time it was made, you'd think they'd make something relating to Alex and Steve and even herobrine, or even the popular overworld vs nether trope that was around, BUT NO!! they introduce a new set of characters in an original setting with its own story

and having the ender dragon already be beaten and a finished arc is a breath of fresh air in my opinion

so instead they took the second(?) strongest boss, mixed it with the command block which they made stronger/more powerful than it already is and made the wither crazier than before, thats just fucking cool

the (old) order of the stone are awesome too, they took different types of mc players and made them into a group of heroes!!!! and it isnt the usual group from nowadays, like sure a warrior and an alchemist are typical but they threw in a builder, an alchemist, and griefer!!! thats fucking awesome!!!! and ivor as the alchemist isnt even the biggest fighter (because he's fucking old) which i love, they use his other characteristics as an advantage. before the ninja arc obviously

AND THE ORDER'S TEMPLE AND THE TRACKING MAAAPP!!! i love how they used and expanded on that feature

SAME WITH THE RAILWAY SYSTEM!!! TO TRAVEL LONG DISTANCES IN THE NETHER!! i wish we got more of that x(

now this might be biased cause i don't like ep2 thaaatt muchhh, though it deserved so much more when it comes to redstonia and boomtown, tho the concepts alone are really creative

only thing i can point out from ep3 is the grinder from soren's fortress, and how its just the actual mechanism to get loot and xp in game but on a larger scale. and the fact that the amulet doesnt work in the nether/end like any other tool of that sort!! small details!!!!

and this is just my opinion but soren's studies on the enderman feel like a jab at those enderman related theories from years ago xd

the far lands. i just really love that they added the farlands in ep4 was it?? and i love how they utilized the aspect of enchanting weapons, which they kept it as epic as in ep4 x(

the portal arc.. I LOVE THE PORTAL ARC. SO MUCH. it uses allot of aspects outside of mc survival like mini games and the community itself!!

like. episode 5 is literally just sky block, obviously. and it's got spawn eggs, which without the world build in the network would've been hard to implement BUT THEY STILL MANAGED TO ADD IT IN!!!

ep6 is murder mystery with some iconic mcyt. literally what more do you want!!!

ep7, pama's inspired by players who make redstone computers in the game like said here!!! thats so fucking cool!!!!

EP8 COULD'VE AND SHOULD'VE HAD SO MUCH MOREEE!!! and its inspiration is obvious too; the different mini games in mc and respawning!! i love that they added respawning in at least one episode

like the way they took elements from and outside of mc survival is so creative, especially with how they were implemented (even if sometimes they weren't accurate) and all the world build!!!!

season 2's more focused on the idea and limits of creative mode or the idea of a "god" in mc, and definitely has its fair share of world build, which is still really cool

i actually like how they went about revealing the admins and their connection to the overworld without it messing up the lore in s1 or having it come out of nowhere in a bad way!! like old OLD myth turned real trope worked out well here

also it felt like the sea temple scene was foreshadowing the aquatic update that was to come in mc at the time!!

and one thing about the sea temple, when the origins of the world and the admin were being explained, i'm pretty sure they mention how "the world was flat until the admin gave it hills and trees" and stuff, referencing both super-flat worlds and foreshadowing the bedrocking event!!!

and idk how many people actually know this but the structure block is an actual thing in mc?? i did NOT know about that till recently it's embarrassing

might just be me but i like to think that the original mobs romeo makes are also a subtle reference at mods and how people can mess around with that kinda stufff.... idk tho

from this point on i can't think of anything else in s2 that i could put in this ramble, but overall, mcsm writers and develops were fucking geniuses and i love how they put everything together ^_^ ty for any1 who read this far, and feel free to leave your own insights!!!!!

[bitesizedgummie]

HOLY FUCK AN INTRO POST!!

hi. hihi. its gummie!! here with an intro post!! finally! so here's some info about me

call me gummie, pickle, or....wtv ig idk man

i have names i’ll have u call me if u know me more personally as well! :3

he/they (🏳️‍⚧️❤️) also a femboy oops

aceflux! usually aroace (lmk NICELY if aceflux isnt the right term, i know it as like sexual/romantic prefs can vary)

taken. by my wonderful partner @danganronpagayedition

runs the ask blogs @little-guy-little-mouse (ryunosuke), @hearing-a-lot-of-things (athena), @my-horns-think-im-tall (apollo [might delete]), and @dolphin-luver (bachira)

i am a minor!! no inappropriate stuff pls :(

feel free to mention me in anything as long as it’s not weird or anything, i don’t mind :3

dni list

proshipper

racist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, etc

former school friend i no longer talk to

heluva(?) boss/hazbin hotel fans (idk what’s up w y’all but i heard some of y’all nuts. if ur chill ur fine though)

overly religious (sorgy i have minor trauma regarding religion/religious friends so i don’t wanna risk it)

unnecessary info(+tag directory) has been banished to under the cut

tag directory!

gummierants - random rants or rambles that i manage to spit out

gummiedraws - doodles/art i manage to spit out

gummievents - vents that i usually spit out when i’m a bad mental state and need guidance

gummie watches (game here) - comments about a game im watching (current tags: gummie watches dual destinies, gummie watches blue lock)

gummiepolls - polls i run for sillies! i have this tag so you can check it for any ongoing polls about whatever the fuck :3

fandoms i interact with (not limited to this list, probably forgot a couple) ds = DON'T SPOIL!!! if i include this i am not yet finished/caught up w the series!! pls dont spoil/mention anythign past the specified point unless i specifically ask!!

ace attorney (ds - turnabout academy)

danganronpa

blue lock (ds - s1 ep 13)

rhythm heaven

yuri on ice

parappa the rapper

legend of zelda (ds - just finished botw)

death note (on like. ep 7 but feel free to spoil bc i dont think ill finish it)

mouthwashing

bungo stray dogs (ds - just finished vol 1)

omori (not finished but same for death note i probably wont finish it lmao)

stuff i ship!! i dont push the less popular ones a lot bc im scared ill get like cussed out or something but yea

saioma

komahina

naegami

amaguji

wrightworth

franmaya

asoryuu

klapollo

claypollo (which technically makes me a multishipper! yippee!)

junithena

blackmadhi

viktuuri(? is that how u spell it)

zelink

rockershipping

rap women

lawlight

nagireo

bachisagi

ryusae

soukoku

ranpoe

shin soukoku

considering gregbadd and manosouta

[aemiron-main]

oh im going insane

im finishing up an analysis that involves parallels that show owens likely being a father figure to henry & then i remembered. ‘peter’s school projects’. and THEN it hit me like a brick. so, i hadnt mentioned this yet but i have an analysis rn sitting in my drafts about how some of the unused costuming pieces in young henry’s wardrobe room remind me of vintage boys school uniform shirts & how the bts pics have henry wearing a pair of black leather shoes (which would be uniform code)  and just some other stuff and long story short i think there was a school uniform in his wardrobe. but it confused me bc like YES hawkins in the 50s could have had a school uniform but smthn still wasnt clicking bc why wouldnt they show him wearing the uniform during any of his hawkins scenes then?  but. if henry was living with owens and his wife......... in nevada... ruth, nevada..... a different school...... a uniform......... and the fact that nancy’s fake name at pennhurst is RUTH and the discussion about petey and summer camp happens at pennhurst.... ‘peter/petey’ and ‘ruth’ tied together AGAIN.  and owens. owens is tied to the theme of bullying because he gets angela’s charges against el dropped.  long story short i think there’s a chance henry went to school in ruth and was living with owens and got bullied at school (bc yknow. outcast weird kid) and that’s why owens is tied to the bullying imagery w angela.  ‘peter’s school projects’ -> whenever we see henry drawing in the creel house, save for the one scene in victor’s flashback where henry’s sitting at the couch, henry is drawing in his school binder, with school supplies, on lined paper, and one of his school binders even has some words written on the side of it that i need to go back and look at.  and its been stumping me like. we KNOW henry made it to the lab right after the creel murders. so when would he be at owens’ house. but then it hit me. that other analysis im working on. it also talks about henry very very likely escaping from the lab at some point and being brought back. if henry escaped. and was taken in by owens. and then the lab eventually located henry again/brenner realized henry was with owens.... this would explain why we dont see owens at the lab at all in 1979 & why he doesnt come back to the lab until s2,  until after brenner’s ‘death’ in s1. because he would have double-crossed brenner. and brenner wouldn’t have wanted him influencing henry/helping him escape again.  and there’s those mike and owens parallels i need to make a writeup on.... mike, who took in a child who escaped from the lab. owens, who likely did the same thing. mike, who dressed el up to take her to the school. owens, sending henry to school in a uniform.  this post is like. half coherent i promise i have actual evidence LMAO im gonna go work on the writeup about it bc. hm

especially considering the costuming parallels between owens vs victor creel.. both of them being father figures to henry...  smthn smthn owens-obi wan parallels (which is an analysis in and of itself) smthn smthn ‘my allegiance lies to the republic, anakin- to democracy’ smthn smthn that but its owens with the lab smthn smthn brenner either finding henry or owens GIVING henry back to the lab after some sort of incident... which is inch resting when we think about the idea of henry being bullied & how el hit angela and gave her an injury just like the one that brenner got from henry in 1979... henry using his powers against one of the kids bullying him..........  AND OK INSANE ERA TIME 

This is said to OWENS, at OWENS’ house. and henry was the attacker so henry = ghost.  why is this relevant? well. that bts pic i posted awhile back that i said might be unused footage of henry in a ghost costume as a kid..... and el with hopper in the cabin, dressing as a ghost... but not being able to go out because the lab would find her... henry going out for halloween though and something happening/getting bullied (will parallel) and maybe that’s when shit went down... resulting in him getting taken back to the lab

anyway i am insane. and Henry, if he escaped, would have escaped pretty early-on I think bc he likely would have gone the same route he took El…. and would’ve needed to be small enough to fit.

[mdhwrites]

Honestly I’m also Kinda Sasha Waybright fan and personally She’s mostly one of the main reasons I wanted to finish Amphibia to it’s end.

To me she and Grime were kinda an inverse to Zuko and Iroh and sorta became one of my favorite Animated Duos. I enjoyed Anne but Sasha’s character arc and growth was SO INTERESTING TO ME!!

I also always saw Boscha as wasted potential really but I usually blame the Owl House’s cancellation most of the time. Honestly I kinda wanted Amity, Luz and Boscha to have been the show’s Girl Trio in my head. Mostly cause I was inspired by fanfiction.

*vibrates intensely* I... I kind of wonder if you actually know me and don't realize because as far as I understand, I'm the only Lumischa writer out there and one of the rare writers who tries to really do a lot with Boscha in a positive way. Regardless, as always, I did a stupidly long story called The Power of Love that focused on Amity, Luz and Boscha.

ANYWAYS, to the main thrust: Sasha and Anne are honestly the two who compete for the best character in Amphibia for me. Anne for just being so likable and having such a slow, complex but understated arc while Sasha has ALL THE CHARISMA and an extremely compelling arc in her own right. I do love you mentioning Grime and Sasha being a reverse Zuko/Iroh because there's a lot of truth to that.

In Avatar, Iroh was always the peace in Zuko's mind. The one pulling him away from war and more destructive methods. Ozai acted as a counter. Distant but so vividly powerful in Zuko's mind that it took literally an entire season for him to start breaking away from him, even longer to break entirely.

Grime on the other hand is the one whispering ambitions into Sasha's ear... But also only once Sasha has reignited the flames within Grime by showing that he's not at his pinnacle yet. So with their dynamic, you have the old dog learning new tricks to use and hurt people while Sasha is actually the constant who is goading Grime into doing worse and worse. Her own ambitions make the analogy not entirely work but the two are genuinely good for each other to push them to be better... But terrible for each other's morality. One adds the power of a manipulator, the other adds the calculus of war and cold, hard strategy. These aren't bad things to know of but dangerous for one another when taken too far.

Much like a balance wasn't struck immediately for Zuko though, Sasha's moral balance didn't start pressing on her right until S3. Anne was always her positive example after all but she never had the power or place within Sasha to change her. Not until Sasha gave her a reason to listen. As Grime's ambitions are tied to Sasha for having inspired him multiple times, when she changes, so does he. It's really interesting and genuinely complex and SO TASTY! AH!

Amphibia good and I really wish more people talked about just how good its arcs are instead of only ever giving that to TOH because *takes a sharp breath in* I have talked many a time before how the cracks in TOH's structure and writing go as far back as S1 and that the cancellation should not be blamed for its shortcomings for little is excused by it.

But that is a blog for another time. Or you can go back and try to find those old blogs about it (I have one literally titled why S3 could never have been great) and originally I wished luck on finding that but someone liked it so I could get a link easily. XD

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[eurydicees]

FRUITS BASKET IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE ANIME OF ALL TIME PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF ITTTTT

HI HIHIHIHI OK OK OKOKOK !!!!!! spoilers to follow :p

so like this is my third(?) rewatch i believe and i'm like. fuckin. like. fuckin crazy dude. i feel like i'm losing my mind. everything about this show is DESIGNED to make me feel insane. everything about it is simply written to hit me straight in the chest every time. i think my favorite thing this time around is actually the everything about yuki and kyo. kyo is just like. clenching fists. my specialest little character who i love so so so much. he means EVERYTHING to me. i want to pick him up and shake him around like a dog with a particularly long stick. im like. going crazy. and TOHRU AND KYO. their relationship genuinely has me like. frothing at the mouth thinking about it. it's about the choice to love someone and to let someone love you and it's something about healing and trauma and helping each other without fixing each other its about been seen and about letting people see you its about the choices you make and the ones that are taken from you and how you don't need to be perfect to deserve the love someone else is choosing to give you im gonna BITE THINGS. the next episode in my watch is the first part of the true form eps and im like. i was gonna watch them but then i was going too crazy just thinking about it and i needed to stop in order to preserve my sanity and also the safety of my electronics and the wall i was going to throw them at. so im currently paused, but im gonna hopefully finish s1 today!!! im going crazy fr. like. this show rots something in my brain. i truly cannot put it into words why. but my brain is ROT. i literally started rewatching and then decided a week into november that surely i can change my nanowrimo project to smth fruits basket related. because this surely truly for real is a good idea. anyways im going so crazy. kyo and tohru make me want to twirl the phone cord around my finger and write in my diary ( <- has neither a landline nor a diary). and god ok. akito. akito. akito. akito, who scratches at my brain and makes me feel fucking crazy. its just. the personification of the cycle of abuse and then the act of breaking it.....doomed by the narrative she is writing....im losing my mind !!!!! my entire goddamn mind !!!!!!!!!!!! yeah. yeah. yeah.

anyways i would looooooove to hear ur (and anyone) tell me their thoughts about it as well !!! i NEEEEEED to be talking about fruits basket all of the time rn and would looooooove to do that here !!!!!

[stevethehairington]

1, 2, 3, 8, and of course... 11 for the ST ask game ♡

ahh blakeeee!!! ty for sending so many!!! 💕💕

(also omg i was almost entirely finished answering all of these and then i fAT FINGERED MY KEYBOARD and it deleted everything 😩 i tried my best to rewrite them as best as i could but damn. rip to anything that slipped through the cracks)

1. Favorite character and your favorite outfit of theirs?

ooh okay i think i have to go with steve harrington as my favorite character, because as much as i love eddie, steve has been IT for me since the beginning. steve has taken me on a whole journey, i have been right there with him since the beginning. i am ride or die for that bitch!! lkdfjsl.

and as for favorite outfit, ohhhh man that's tough. he's got a LOT of good ones!! but. if i had to choose one, it would probably be that cute little bubble vest fit he wears at the end of s3 when he and robin are bring their resume in to family video. it's just so cute and he looks so good in it, and also his hair with it is Thee Perfect Length for me, like i love steve with his hair long enough that it starts to curl at the ends. the whole Look is just too good.

(this one!! i couldn't find any good photos so this gif will have to do)

2. Favorite season of Stranger Things and your favorite scene in it?

this is another hard question because my answer totally depends on what exactly is meant by favorite lmao. like, if favorite means which season is the one that i love most and has captivated me the most then the answer would be season 1, because that one is just next level!! like, the vibes, the relationships, the mystery, the conflicts, the discoveries!! it's all so good and s1 does a FANTASTC job of setting up the whole show!! but then if we're looking at favorite as meaning which one did you have the most fun watching and enjoyed a lot then my answer would be season 3, because that season is just SO fun!! it's so vibrant and bright and it truly encapsulates summer so well!! not to mention it gives us scoops troop my BELOVED, and we see more of the relationship between steve and dustin my beloveds, AND there's more erica!! AND this season gives us ROBIN!!! AND ROBIN AND STEVE!!! so!!!! its a huge win and its a great season for those reasons!!

3. Favorite scene in the entire series?

i think this is probably going to be SUCH an obvious answer because it's probably the one everyone and their mother gives, but, i HAVE to go with robin's coming out scene. like, it's just one of the best coming out scenes i've ever seen. and that is ENTIRELY because of maya hawke. like god, her expressions throughout that whole scene? as steve describes the girl he likes and it becomes strikingly clear that he's talking about robin and robin is sitting there like how do i break it to him. god her face is just. SO REAL. and then when she says "steve" in that tiny whisper of a voice, and her eyelashes sort of flutter like she's trying not to cry and she gives him that LOOK. MY GOD ITS GOLDEN ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. im tearing up rn just thinking about it. and then steves reaction too!! his little oh, and the way he just immediately starts making fun of robin's taste in girls, just steadfastly accepting her and not making it into something huge and scary. just treating her like shes robin and not anybody or anything different. the way robin feels SO much relief and joy and safety there. god its just such a beautiful scene and so powerful too and i just love it so so much.

(i do HAVE to give a shoutout to the running up that hill scene at the end of dear billy because NO scene has EVER given me chills the way that one did. the way max's grief has been drowning her and the complete turning point this scene was for that. like this was the first moment that she chose to not let that grief win. she fought it and she fought it hard and she pulled herself out. she had help, of course, the memories of her friends, the ones she loves, but it was ultimately HER that saved herself in that scene. and godddd its SO powerful and its SO well done and just the way they used that son is INCREDIBLE and also sadie's acting in that scene is just PHENOMENAL, and then when it ends and max is in lucas' arm with dustin and steve surrounding her too and the soft instrumental version of running up that hill plays as the screen goes black. C H I L L S!!!!!!)

8. Favorite weapon/power?

another super basic answer probably but what can i say? my favorite weapon is 100% the nail bat. i mean, who wouldn't want a wicked baseball bat full of nails to swing at monsters?? i mean come on that is so badass. but ALSO i love that the bat has a little bit of all of the original monster hunting trio in it? like it's nancy's baseball bat, but jonathan is the one that put the nails in it and it was meant to be his weapon, but then steve claimed it as his own and used it and bam now it's his. i just love that symbolism!!!

11. Your opinion on Tommy Hagan?

HAHA I LOVE THAT YOU ASKED ME THIS ONE FKDDSFLKD (also the "of course" sdkfjdslf i am THAT transparent huh 😂)

nah but i fucking LOVE tommy hagan. he's just one of those characters that isn't necessarily given a firm backstory or anything, but there is juuuuuuust enough personality that it is SO easy to build your own backstory and mold it and him into something you want it to be — and boy oh BOY have i done that with tommy myself lmao.

but yeah it's like — the tommy we see, sure, he's an asshole, and yes, he says and does some really shitty things, BUT i don't think anything he's said and done has reached that level where it's like totally and completely irredeemable, yknow? like he's not so far gone that he can't turn himself around (hello!! steve did!! and sure, maybe steve is a kinder, nicer person at his core, but if he can do it, so can tommy, especially given that tommy idolized steve so much.)

there's just something to me that is so fascinating about taking a very simple one dimensional character and giving him layers. giving him three dimensions. putting him in scenarios and giving him motivations that explain WHY he is the way he is and HOW he got there and WHO influenced that? filling in those gaps makes him a MUCH richer character and in turn makes his interactions with the other characters SOOO much more interesting and layered.

like, i love to think that tommy is the middle child in a large family of all girls. he's got two older sisters and two younger sisters. i oscillate between liking to think that his parents are still together but overwhelmed with work and the girls and other responsibilities, or that theyre divorced so tommys grown up with a single mother in charge. either way, tommy ends up sort of forgotten, just a bit. there's not enough attention for him, which is why when STEVE gives him attention for the very first time, when he CHOOSES tommy for the first time, tommy is stuck on him for life.

their friendship grows and so do they and steve stays this constant through it all, and that means so much to tommy. i think that once girls start to show an interest in steve and once steve starts to show an interest back, tommy gets jealous, because that means that steves full attention isn't on him anymore. (and whether you look at it through a 'tommy has a crush on steve' lens or not it still applies either way ((though as im sure you're all aware i DO look at it through that lens LOL))).

carol joins their group, and either steve nudges tommy towards her or tommy nudges himself towards her because, well, if steves gonna get himself a girlfriend, so is tommy because he's not getting left behind. and he loves carol, he does, but also it's a lot more complicated than that (see the beginning of my latest fic, keep me on a rope, for more on The Complicated Relationship of Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins because ohohoho boy do i have THOUGTS on that).

and then nancy wheeler happens and steve gets his heart broken AND his world rocked AND the biggest thump on his head of his life and suddenly he's not tommys best friend anymore. he's not even his friend. and that fucking HURTS tommy. because look at that? even STEVE left in the end. and so tommy lashes out. he gets meaner. he latches onto billy hargrove, but he doesn't give a shit about tommy. he puts up that protective shell so he can't get hurt again, and that means never letting anyone in again. that means settling for what he has, who he has. that means stewing in these hurt feelings and this awful grudge and the hatred for years and years until—

somewhere down the line (way waaaaaay down the line) tommy gets tired of it. he gets sick of being bitter and lonely and miserable. and he finally gets HIS thump on the head. he does some digging deeeeeeeep into himself and he does a lot of self reflection and he realizes that fuck. he's been an asshole. he's been a jerk. he's been a total dick. he's hurt people he loved, people who didn't deserve it. he's pushed them away. he's isolated himself. he's turned into this shell of what he could have been.

and so he starts to work on himself. starts to make amends.

or he doesn't. that's a possibility too. he can get stuck in his ways and he can live out a bitter lonely miserable life too!

but that's the thing about tommys character — he can be and do and say whatever you want!!!! and THAT is why i love him so much.

(plus, as i said it is just SOOOO fascinating to explore his relationship with steve and with carol because BOTH are SOOOO complicated and SOOOO layered and there is just SO much going on in that little brain and body of his that even HE can't sort through it all.)

stranger things ask game

[tuiyla]

Just saw a gifset you reblogged and the gears in my head started turning and I remembered some stuff from when I was googling timelines and the like and frok watching stuff, you get it. So here's some things that I find kinda fun

Season 1 btvs aired in March and in the same month Scream 2 was also greenlit. Scream 2 started filming in June, the month season 1 btvs finished airing. Which is fun to me because Sarah Michelle Gellar is in both btvs and Scream 2 (apparently she signed onto Scream 2 without reading the script because of the success of the first scream film but I've not seen the interview so can't confirm). She also stars in 2 live action scooby-Doo films (Scooby-Doo (2002) and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)) along with Matthew Lillard who played Stuart in the first scream film. In Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed Seth Green plays plays Patrick; Seth also played oz in btvs. And this is all very fun to me you see.

Also, only tangibly related, in Scream (2021) (AKA scream 5) and Scream 6 Jasmin Savoy Brown plays Mindy. In Yellowjackets Jasmin plays Tai and Christina Ricci plays Misty. Christina played Wednesday Adams in 2 Adams family films (The Addams Family and Addams Family Values). She was also in netflix's Wednesday where the tituler character (who is the same Wednesday that Christina played in the 2 previously mention Addams family movies) is played by Jenna Ortaga. Jenner Ortaga stars alongside Jasmin in scream 5 and 6. Again this is just very fun to me.

Also also in a previous ask you said how you kinda enjoy monster of the week and me too!!! like some times an all-consuming overarching plot is just a headach and sometimes it's nice just to have a different random dude doing a kinda different thing each week while still getting a bit of character development for the main girlys.

Also also also I've only seen a few early episodes of btvs (it's been on my 'to watch' list for like a decade now) but I couldn't remember who Xander was until I saw you calling him annoying and then I instantly remembered, which isn't great for his character in the first, and maybe quite possibly second, season I don't think...

Anyways sorry this is long as shit and may not make sense, love ya xoxo💖

Heya bestie, sorry it took me a while to get to this. I loved reading your message! These sort of thought trains are exactly my kind of deal haha. Very fun to me too. I started thinking about how to tie Buffy and Glee together and the best I could come up with was through Veronica Mars because Alyson Hannigan and Charisma Carpenter were both recurring on there and Jane Lynch and Dianna Agron guest starred. Boom!

Now that I'm further along with BtVS I do think its overaching stories are done well and make for better episodes than the Monster of the Week formula but I'm glad they don't completely abandon it because it is fun. I see what people say about s1 in terms of it being different than the rest of the series but I still look back on it as entertaining and I don't find the episodes people consider to be tedious bad. I actually really liked The Pack and even the puppet one. The character development is overall strong on BtVS so as long as we have that I don't mind if a lot of episodes aren't about the given Big Bad of the season. So yeah that is to say I think Buffy is probably up your alley! It was on my to watch list for a looooong while too but I'm very glad I finally got around to it.

And yeah Xander lmao, well to be fair I think people expected me to loathe him and I kinda don't? I have a well overdue ask about him but being halfway through the series I maintain that he is annoying but have gotten better and I can appreciate aspects of his ch. If anything I think his douchebagery peaked (so far) in late s2/very early s3 and now he's rightfully taken his place as Just Some Guy. I might eat my words later on if he becomes Finn Hudson levels of annoying. I doubt it though. (Unless he outs Willow and acts as the hero afterward in which case I hope he perishes <3)

[valoisfulcanellideux]

I don't usually self-promote (outside of posting about new chapters on my blog) but I have one fic that consumed a year of my life that's complete and that I'm incredibly proud of, and another that's currently ongoing, and I would love to get some more eyes on them both. I'll also add a couple more recs for other people's stories at the end :)

The first of mine is These Stones Remember (already recced in this chain by @cattobee - thank you so much!) and it's an 185K behemoth that deals with time and love and guilt and forgiveness. It's an Empires S1 & S2 Pixlriffs fic, but a few others (most notably fWhip and GeminiTay) also feature. (Note: The chapter count makes it appear unfinished, but the actual story is finished. Only the second of the Companion Reader sections is still unpublished, and I'm holding back on finishing that for a while, for Reasons.)

Summary:

"The past changes a little every time we retell it." A wandering scholar and his ethereal companion find a long-abandoned treasure. At first glance he thinks he has simply stumbled upon a ruined ancient capital, filled with the promise of incredible archaeological treasures and riven through with the history of a long-dead civilisation. But when he wakes up one day and finds the city has come alive around him, its people bowing to him as though they know and respect him, he has unknowingly begun a journey toward redemption for a terrible mistake he made two thousand years ago.

The second of mine is A Tale of Two Devotions. A darker tale of the Copper King and the Phantom Assassin (so you get two Pixlriffs for the price of one!) this one is ongoing and releasing a chapter every two weeks.

Summary:

There are tales of ghosts that wander the desert with their eyes and mouths sealed shut with wax. Legends tell that this was so they could neither see nor speak of what was done to them in their dying moments. The gilded, adorned, and adored Copper King did not know he had a twin; a freak of nature taken from their mother's childbed and raised to protect the glory of the Vigil, the city, its people, and the king. Denied a name, known only as Phantom, the rooftops and alleys are his haunt as he watches over his brother's devotion to the Vigil; an obedience so deep that none in the city know how chained their king is to keeping their precious monument alive. Nor do they know the price paid by their dead.

Now for the stuff by other peeps!

the corpse of your people, uncovered and coveted by Yylfinn_00

Archaeologist!Pix gets called to work on a new archaeology site, which happens to be in a desert. Dear god, this one left me absolutely aching. One of the best Pix stories I've ever read.

”Now leave me to mourn the corpse of my people in peace, Scott, before I have to watch them rip her bone from bone in the morning.”

City with no name, person with no history by viridis_mundi

A beautiful piece about Archaeologist!Pix and Goblin!fWhip, filled with all my favourite things in fic: memory, time, love, loss, friendship. It's short, but so beautifully sweet.

Pix’s gaze is soothing, like a heavy blanket after a nervous day, like a mug of warm milk before bed, like the quiet dance of stars in the night sky. And just as centuries ago, people looked at the sky and looked for constellations, so Pix is always looking for something in someone else’s soul.

you know what I haven’t seen going around in a while, and could use some of myself? fic recs! so, consider this both a rec and a self-promo post: recommend some fics to me in the reblogs and I’ll reblog your recs! in general, try to include both a summary and why you’re reccing it (whether it’s a self-promo or someone else’s), and let’s get some eyes on fics!

[oflgtfol]

on one hand i need to finish this lineart TONIGHT so help me god

but also i wanted to get back on my 2 star trek episodes a day routine 😩 i think i’ll only be able to watch one. but also even then with that one idk if i’ll even be in the right headspace bc like

this sounds like its gonna be a fucking doozy... i need to be emotionally prepared

[aresrambles]

A Little Quiet

morpheus x gn!reader - fluff turned implied nsfw, fwb vibes, reader (18+) is in college, morpheus maybe a little ooc, deadlines (1203 words)

a/n: i've been wanting to write smth abt morpheus since finishing s1 but i've hit a writing block. hopefully this gets me going.

Read Part 2 Here

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"Is this what has been keeping you from me?"

You head shoots up from your desk, startled by the rumbling voice behind you. 

Your head whips around only to met with none other than the King of Dreams and Nightmares, who is seemingly peering at your laptop from over your shoulder. Your cheeks heat up at the sudden proximity between you both, before you hurriedly divert your attention back to the screen, lest he catch sight of your discomposure. In this moment, your room had never felt so confining.

"Hello, Dream." You croak, pretending to scan over that same shitty paragraph you had been stuck on for the last half hour. When he doesn't reply, you carefully continue, acutely aware of the fact that he has yet to move away from you. "What are you doing here?"

"You haven't visited the Dreaming in two nights. You haven't slept at all, in three."

Oh. You had not expected the King of Dreams to have noticed your absence, let alone find you here so he could question it.  The fact of the matter was that the crunch time for this assignment had rolled around far quicker than you had anticipated, resulting in a few all-nighters and barely-there naps that you managed to sprinkle in to prevent hallucinating- though, that last part may be up for debate. Dream of the Endless has never visited you in the waking world, before.

"So now you're here?" You continue, faking casual disinterest.

He pauses at this, suddenly moving away from you. You almost wished you had kept your mouth shut if it meant that he would have remained closer for a while longer. 

"I am simply doing a welfare check. It is a... responsibility I carry."

Despite knowing your place in Dream's life, you couldn't help but deflate at his statement. Of course, he was only here to carry out his duty, nothing more. You fail to see the rigid posture that he adopted; adam's apple bobbing nervously in his throat. 

"Will you be returning any time soon?" He asks somewhat sarcastically, although it feels like an accusation. Where have you been? When are you coming back?

"That's the plan. Just after I submit this stupid paper, and then I could sleep for an eternity."

Dream's fingers twitch, steel gaze redirected to your hands as they mindlessly work to fill the word-count. "An eternity." He hums under his breath, "That is a long time, even for one such as myself." You chuckle in reply to his deep grumbling behind you, and come to realise that his presence has provided you with some sort of inspiration. The words were coming naturally to your brain, flowing through you like some sort of spirit had taken over your body. You silently muse over whether this is Dream's doing, but continue with your assignment nonetheless. Wherever this was coming from, as long as you submit the damn thing and free yourself from this torment, it was fine by you.

He remains silent until the last tap of your keyboard indicates that you had sent off your work, and then swivel around in your chair to face him.

Dream stares back at you owlishly, and it's only then that you begin to process the gravity of his being in your room, perched on the edge of your tiny bed like some sort of well-trained house cat. You force yourself to keep a straight face whilst nervously speaking up, "Well, it seems that I'm done."

"Indeed."

"I can sleep now."

"You can."

Dream does not move from your bed, infact he does not move at all, simply eyeing you as you awkwardly clamber around him and settle down on top of the sheets. You can't help but breathe a sigh of relief as your head hits the pillow, every joint in your body beginning to voice its previous discomfort. The Lord of Dreams simply readjusts his position so that he sits parallel, next to you, making no move to leave.

"Sleep. I will see you soon." He murmurs, eyes not meeting your gaze. You feel the dulcet tones of his voice rumble in your bones, and before you know it, you have succumbed to the seductive call of slumber.

When you awaken, you realise your floral cotton sheets had been traded for a more sophisticated black satin, the bedding seeming to go on for what felt like miles. The sheets wrapped you in a soft cocoon, providing an excellent shelter of warmth and quiet, even in a realm as fantastical as the Dreaming. Despite the dark, gloomy interior of the chamber, it did not feel unwelcoming. Infact, rather the opposite. 

"I find it quite ironic that one who never sleeps would require such an extravagant bedroom." You murmur, turning over to meet his gaze.

Morpheus looks at you in an expression that remains unreadable, bringing his fingers up to skim your cheek. "Welcome back." He utters in a husky whisper, and it's only then that you become aware of how silent it is here. No white noise from your deskfan, no annoying keyboard clicking, no bed creaking under your weight. Just your combined breaths, and perhaps your rapid heartbeat.

His hair is a sultry mess of charcoal, wild and stark against his skin.

His skin.

Porcelain and gauzy, you had never laid eyes on something so touchable and sheer with streaks of desire. Intense eyes, haughtily good-looking, you find yourself unable to tear your gaze away from the man in front of you.

"Do not deprive me of yourself." He commands, casting a soft echo across the chamber, though it is not harsh. "Do not punish yourself by taking leave of this place," Morpheus brings his lips close to yours, barely skimming against them before hovering just left of them. "Do not put such meaningless tasks before me." Goosebumps prick at your skin as you stare at his lips move, aching to close the gap. Every cell in your body was chanting his name, begging for it even. "Do I make myself clear?"

You can only nod, hypnotised by his every movement.

He's tying you down, smiling like a panther in the dim lighting but you cannot see past his pupils; eyes sleek like two pebbles places upon his face.

"Magnificent, you are magnificent." He's fumbling, hot breath tickling your ear. His saliva is said to have contained medicinal properties: numbing. 

You are unable to believe the tales as it seems your skin is scalding; nothing short of aluminium reacting with bromine. How a man who seems so pale and cold, can radiate such a searing heat is beyond you.

You think back to the example of your lab professor had performed back in your last year of high school. She had just burned her index finger and- Agh! Morpheus burns your neck in a similar fashion.

"You are... distracted." He hums. 

"If I don't focus on something else other than what you're doing to me right now, I'm scared I'll combust." He huffs through his nose at this, and you at first think it is annoyance. You are unable to see the smirk that graces his lips as he brings them back down to your neck, before moving them against your skin in languid motions. 

"It matters not. I will retain your attention through ways of my own."

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Fuck, Marry, Kill me now

Pairing: Bishop Losa x F!OC Bishop's wife x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut (18+), Threesome, slightly shy reader, Alcohol

Summary: You'd been working at the clubhouse bar for quite some time, and it was apparent that Bishop and his wife were the hottest thing in Santo Padre since hell lit up. Sure, you'd indulged and thought about what it'd be like to be sandwiched inbetween them, who wouldnt? But you assumed that it was always going to be a fantasy, that is until you're overheard one night playing a rather revealing drinking game...

A/N: Had this in the drafts for a while and had a little bit of time to finish it tonight. I just think that S1-2 Bishop and a potential badass hot wife topping me would be really fun and I just let my little bi heart run wild with this one.

It was crazy how a slip up one night playing such a silly game would change the course of your sex life forever, but then again things around Santo Padre were rarely normal. When nights spent dodging gunfire and flirting with killers was considered the usual it made sense that you’d end up in bed with Bishop and his old lady. 

It had been a slow night in the clubhouse. The guys were busy and wrapped up in so much of their own shit, that for once it was just you and the girls who worked the bar that remained. Normally you’d be up late cleaning. However that night, the little wooden shack was as clean as it could get, and when the boys were away it was only natural for you all to unwind a little.

So what did you all decide to do with your free time? Play stupid ass drinking games of course.

“Ok! Fuck, Marry, Killlllll…” Victoria shouted, breaking through everyone's giggles

The clubhouse had been practically shaking with everyone's laughter and it was filled with loud music playing over crackly bluetooth speakers. You were alive with the buzz of the cheap tequila that no one felt the boys would miss, and more energised than you’d been in a long time. 

Everyone managed to shut up for a second as Victoria glared around with her narrowed eyes and shushed till there was quiet. She’d looked around, trailing her gaze from the girls on the sofas and round everyone else sat on the rickety chairs that had been haphazardly sprawled in a messy circle. Once she was satisfied that the only noise left was the bassy music, she grinned like a vixen.

“Fuck, marry, kill: Creeper, Riz and Taz. Bambi, you start!” She said, directing her gaze at you.

They’d taken to calling you Bambi ever since your first day when you tripped up on spilt beer, and they’d never let you live it down. Although, if you were honest, you’d been clumsy plenty of times since then as well. It would always elicit an “aw, bambi” everytime. 

Everyone’s eyes were heavy on you, you felt a heat creep into your cheeks and looked down, avoiding all the stares. You’d much preferred truth or dare. Being made to make out and give fake lap dances was much more preferable than having to decide the fates of each of your bosses. What if it got back to any of them?

You had to come out of this night and continue to see them all everyday for christ sakes!

“Oh um…god do we have to do this,” you grumbled, taking another shot of tequilla.

You winced as it burned its way down your throat and grimaced further when you saw everyone rolling their eyes and folding their arms at you. You’d made an admirable suggestion, but clearly they weren’t biting. 

Fine then. The extra tequila had emboldened you at least. 

“Umm, ok well I guess fuck Riz,” you said with a shrug, taking out the easiest first. “Then-”

“Oh my god! What! Fuck Riz,” Lucia screamed, “Out of all those boys?”

“Lucia, don’t interrupt!” Victoria hissed, looking to her and back to you. “However, an explanation for each of your choices is vital in playing this game.”

You rolled your eyes at the added rules and went to grab the bottle of Jose Cuervo, but it was snatched from your grasp before you could pour another shot. Victoria met your glare with glee and held her finger up, waggling it at you.

“You only get to drink once you answer the question!”

“And give an explanation,” one of the other girls added.

You sighed, feeling a heaviness grow in your stomach as you got paranoid about the guys suddenly coming back and hearing you. Or even, what if they had cameras in the clubhouse? What if they were listening right then! 

You shook your head and took a breath, realising you were getting carried away with yourself. The sooner you answered the question the sooner the attention would be away from you.

“Fuck Riz cause he’s like the youngest so he’ll have stamina, Marry Creeper cause he has nice eyes, and kill Taza cause to be honest,” you shrugged, “his whole silent broody thing would get annoying.”

Everyone burst out laughing, but soon enough everyone else began rattling off their choices and reasons and the heat was off of you. Thank christ. 

You’d taken your winning shot and soon enough you were beginning to feel yourself slipping from tipsy to full on drunk. You were feeling more sloppy and free by the minute and suddenly you didn’t mind so much that you were all thirsting after the guys or plotting their demise. You were all equally as incriminated as each other at least.

I’d fuck him because he has all of those cool tattoos.

I’d kill him because I’d rather puke than wake up to him any day of the week.

I’d marry him because he has the biggest dick. Ask me how I know, someone please!

I’d kill him because he’d give me an STD…again.

You were surprised all the screeching you’d all been doing hadn’t summoned law enforcement. Though, no sirens or flashing lights came. Everyone just kept cycling through different combinations of guys and giving ever increasingly revealing answers. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d laughed this much.

“Ok,ok,ok!” Victoria said, once again having to break up the raucous. “We haven’t done…um-hm…oh, oh, I know! Bishop, Angel, Coco! Who’s taking it?”

“Bambi hasn’t answered in a while,” Lucia chimed.

“Ew! Coco’s my cousin!” You squealed, making a gagging motion straight after. “I’d like to think that disqualifies me.”

“Oh shit…well you can still answer, just kill him,” Lucia said nonchalantly, taking another shot. 

Soon enough all the eyes were on you again, but the nervous feeling that had crept up your spine before was nowhere to be found. All your inhibitions were lowered and you didn’t care what all the other girls thought now. Especially when they’d all clearly been so much more involved in the club than you. So much more. 

“Right so killing Coco right away leaves me with…” you sighed, thinking about your next two choices carefully. “I guess…nah you know what, I’d kill Coco and Angel so I could fuck Bish and his hot old lady. AKA, create the only threesome worth being in.”

Of course your answer brought on the most squealing out of all the others. No one had chosen to break the rules yet, but your revelation had them all jumping up out of their seats and waving their drinks around. You, meanwhile, bit your lip and wondered if they’d all remember this the next day. You’d always been so shy usually, but the drinking and the easy atmosphere had broken down your barriers and you were already starting to regret it. 

“What’d I say it’s always the quiet ones!” Lucia cackled 

You felt your cheeks heat again, but you didn’t feel half as guilty. Your revelation was nowhere near as embarrassing as all the others you supposed. That is…only for the following few seconds.

“You think about that threesome alot, bambi?” A voice called out from the doorway.

That familiar voice cut thickly through the squeals and the music and suddenly it was as if time stopped. Your throat went dry and suddenly the scent of cheap booze and skunky smoke died out when the chill night air crept in from the widened doorway. 

A curvy silhouette loomed from the entrance, standing in all her glory. Her tattoos were barely visible in the darkness, but her sparkly makeup and raven hair shone in the moonlight. It was Daniela herself, in all her chilling glory.  

The way she’d said your name was frightening, as if you were little again and had gotten in trouble with the teacher. It felt like you were only two feet tall. You gulped and timidly stared over to the door, suddenly feeling more sober than you’d ever felt in your life. A chill clawed its way up your back when you locked eyes with the very woman you’d spoken of. 

Speak of the devil and his old lady and one of them shall appear apparently. 

“Daniela,” you squeaked.

Suddenly, despite not being very religious, you were scraping to recall the name of every saint you’d ever heard of and started mentally praying. You’d do the sign of the cross if it weren’t for every muscle in your body going taught with fear. You could only hope that given you were Coco’s cousin, he could do something to stop you from being ditched in an unmarked grave. Although, just as you’d come to think of it, you doubted it highly. 

“I think it’s time you all left, hm girls?” Daniela said, placing her hands on her hips.

That was the cue for everyone to leave. The cacophony of scraping chairs and dropped glasses was all you could process until suddenly you hopped into action. You realised you were about to be the only one left behind. And you’d be damned if you were just going to let it happen. 

You went to rush past Daniela and lose yourself in the crowd, but you had no such luck. She grabbed you with ease, like a hawk snatching a mouse, just before you could run out. Just as you were about to taste freedom. 

Soon enough you found yourself alone with Daniela’s claw like nails rooted into you. Only you and her, staring into each other's eyes, feeling like you’d lost a war. You could feel a tear threaten to fall, and flinched when Daniela raised her hand. Though, instead of slapping you, she brought her palm delicately to your cheek and stroked over your smooth skin. You would've moaned if this were any other situation. 

You opened your eyes again and frowned, staring into her honey brown irises and getting lost in them. You felt like a heavy tongued idiot. You were lost for words. You wanted to apologise profusely but you couldn’t bring yourself to break the now stark silence. So she broke it for you.

“You know what, I’m flattered,” She said finally. “I’m not even mad.”

You felt your eyes widen in shock and before you could even think to control it, your jaw dropped. You’d need to pick your chin off the floor to get home. 

“Y-you uh, you’re not?” you said, stealing a glance out the door, looking to see if any of the girls had remained. 

“Nah, I just figured I’d clear everybody out. Bish is meeting me back here and I’m gonna fuck his brains out. I thought I’d prefer not to have an audience,” she shrugged, talking as if she were discussing doing the laundry. 

Your heart skipped a beat and if you weren’t already gaping like a fish you’d be doing it again. For a split second you wondered if that was an invite, but you immediately dismissed the thought. You knew how possessive she was of her man, there was no way she’d share.

“So um…can i go?” you asked, coming to your senses finally.

“Of course,” she smiled sweetly, tapping you on the nose like you were a child. “After you clean up all the mess you and your little friends made.”

Your smile fell as she added on the second part, but soon you’d decided it was better not to test her patience any further. You nodded mindlessly and rushed over to where you and the girls had been gathered before, taking glasses into your arms and dumping them in the sink. You cleared up all the rubbish and moved the chairs back to their old spots, and just as you were about to rush over to the sink and wash the glasses you heard Daniela clear her throat.

“You can get to those in the morning,” she said, waving you off. “Obispo will be here any minute and I fully intend to be spread out on that pool table by the time he arrives.”

You took a glance over to the battered old pool table she’d spoken of then back at her, nodding dumbly once again. You considered it a blessing she was letting you off the hook with what was basically doing chores, and thought better than to say anything more incriminating than you already had.. 

You were about to turn to the doorway, but just as she jumped up on her table, she interrupted your departure. The way she spoke made your veins freeze. 

“If you were anyone else I’d have slit your throat in a fucking second…but you’re too sweet to worry about, aren’t you bambi?”

Your throat closed over as your gaze travelled over her figure. She was sitting with her soft legs spread out over the edge of the table, heels dangling in the air, her pouty lips looked so pretty you could hardly believe she threatened you with them.

But she had.

“I swear, I wouldn’t ever-”

“I know you wouldn’t,” she said, grinning like a cheshire cat, “You can go now.”

Breath returned to your body and you raced out, not wasting a second more to stick around and see if she would stab you, afterall. You raced out into the night, feeling your heart pumping in your ears and took off down the road. You didn’t care you’d be running forever to get home, in your flats no less, you were just grateful to remain alive.

-💀-

It’d been a week since you’d last shown up at the clubhouse and if you were being honest, you hadn’t thought you’d ever show again. Coco had messaged a few times wondering where you got to, and of course some of the girls had tried to pull some gossip from you, but you’d ignored them all. You were content to leave the bar behind forever.

Though that wasn’t what fate had in store for you.

You’d been sitting in your room all day flicking through social media and half heartedly looking for a normal job when you heard the familiar call of a harley racing down the road. You sighed and hoped that it wouldn’t stop, but ultimately the engine cut out in front of your house and wouldn’t you know it, the doorbell rang. 

At that time in the evening you knew it could only mean one thing. Someone wanted you to come in to work. 

You crept up from your bed, chest constricting like crazy and silently made your way to the door. After peering up into the peephole, you cursed and rolled your eyes at yourself, unlocking the entryway soon after. It was only Coco.

“Fucking hell,” you hissed. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh my bad. I guess calling in for your cousin is rude these days! You haven’t answered your phone in ages, you’ve not been turning up for work, I thought you’d died or something, stupid!” Coco ranted.

You heaved out a breath and folded your arms, raising your chin in defiance. 

“Well as you can see, I’m fine. You can go,” you smiled, ready to close the door in his face.

“No, I can’t go,” Coco said, jamming his foot in your doorway. “I think Bish is mad you haven’t turned up in a while. He sent me here to ask you to come in tonight, there’s a party on and he needs girls at the bar.”

You’d pretty much tuned out as soon as the words “Bish is mad” left his mouth. Oh god, you were going to have to pay the piper now. Would you have to leave town? Could you do that? No, you didn’t have any money to your name and you had no way of getting any either. You were screwed. 

“B-Bishop asked for me?” you stuttered.

“Yeah. He still wants you round even after you’ve been all flaky and shit. Can I tell him you’ll be there or do I have to drag you in tonight?” Coco asked, his hard glare fixing on you. “Don’t forget who vouched for you! You messing Bishop around, makes it look like I’m messing him around, remember?”

“Ok, ok, jesus! Fine. I’ll come in. When does he need me?” you relented, feeling guilty that your fuckup would land on him.

“The others are there now. Just get ready and come in!”

-💀-

And so, that’s how you found yourself standing in front of the monolith that was the clubhouse. There was a knot in your stomach and a ringing in your ears that hadn’t left since the moment you’d slammed the door on Coco. This is the dump I’m gonna die in, you thought. 

You took a breath and ran a shaky hand through your styled hair, finally stepping toward the doorway. It felt like it weighed a ton. You slid through it like a shadow and just as you were hoping to make a low key entrance you heard gasps sound out around the room as everyone took you in. You’d been announced. Great.

“Holy shit, she’s still alive!” you could hear someone not so subtly whisper. 

You rolled your eyes and moved to go around back and put your things away, returning again to see everyone still staring. Apparently you were the biggest attraction of the night, dead girl walking was a hit.

“Yes, I’m here! What needs to be done?” you asked finally, hoping you could alleviate the tension.

They all ogled you for a little longer, but soon enough, Victoria stepped out from the small crowd and shoved you toward the bar, getting you to help load up on drinks. It was only then that everyone broke out of their collective trance and allowed you to get on with your business, not wanting to be seen slacking.

As everything returned to normal, everyone busying up around you, you started to feel at ease. It was like any other day in the clubhouse, like a natural rhythm had returned to the place. You got stuck into the routine of helping everyone and even managed to crack a smile or two. Things were going to be alright.

However, because you’d had your guard down you were entirely unprepared for what happened when the guys filtered in. As always, you’d gotten to work fetching them drinks and chatting away, engaging in your job and enjoying their playful flirting. Then, just as you’d grabbed Creeper a beer you froze when a worn hand reached out of nowhere and settled on your back.

You froze completely, knowing exactly whose hand it was before you’d even looked. You could smell the signature mix of faint perfume and strong tobacco that only ever emanated from one man after he was done fucking a certain someone.

“Nice to see you back, querida.”

You turned and locked eyes with the president, sheepishly offering him a smile and hoping you could sink into the ground. Though no amount of wishing would make it happen. He stood before you in his tight grey shirt and signature kutte looking just as handsome as ever. He even had a little scratch by his eye that added to that roguish handsome look. 

Oh shit snap out of it! 

Just as you were about to offer up a thousand apologies and plead for your life, he moved his hand round to your hip and tightened his grip. His rough lips hovered by the curve of your ear. You could feel his breath wash over your flesh and leave it in a goosebumpy mess. 

“Make sure to stay for the whole night. We have a job for you later,” he whispered, pulling away and winking at you.

You gawped at him and watched as he stalked off to go find someone that could go get him a drink. A girl that could actually function. He’d known he’d short circuited you for the time being. A job? You had no idea what that could mean and you could only stand and let the cogs in your mind turn as you tried to work out what that meant.

He didn’t seem malicious in any way when he’d said it. No, he just had that classic Bishop charm about him, he’d swaggered off as if he’d just told you he’d won a bet. No, he wasn’t mad and ready to kill you, he was…if you weren’t mistaken, the mood that burned in his chestnut eyes was…excited. 

“What was that all about?” 

You snapped out of your thoughts and whirled around to see Coco’s confused face, biting your lip as you tried to come up with an excuse. 

The fact that the threesome thing hadn’t spread round the whole club like wildfire had you questioning the gossip mill. Though, you recalled there had been so much spread round that night, perhaps they’d been worried that once one secret split the whole dam would break. That wouldn’t end well for most of the girls. 

You sighed and got your thoughts in line, shaking your head.

“None of your damn business, Johnny,” you snapped.

Coco looked stunned for a second, but soon enough he’d shrugged it off and stalked back to Angel with a “whatever”. 

Thank god Coco wasn’t the inquisitive type, you thought. You shrugged and got back to work, soon realising that guys from different charters were filtering in and they needed paying attention to the most. You had to make a good impression for the club. For Bishop, a small voice chimes in the back of your head. 

From then on, you kept your mind on serving and tried desperately not to think about what Bishop had talked about. You hoped that if you kept your mind off of it, he wouldn’t turn around and decide to shoot you in the head. Acting like some kind of Gomez Adams for his Morticia, it would be just like him to do something morbid in the name of love. 

As the night went on the crowd had swelled and grown rowdier and rowdier, when the boys celebrated they celebrated hard. Though, eventually they began to filter out. Guys were finding girls to take to seedy motels and as it got later there were more and more people dropping like flies, passing out over the couches and floors.

Daniela had caught your eye at one point in the night, she’d been standing by the pool table and winked at you when you caught her gaze, looking pointedly at the table just to remind you that she’d been on it not so long ago, probably fucking in every position there was. It made you shudder, though whether from fear or something else you couldn’t be sure. All you knew was that you felt warmth swirling in you soon after.

You kept your head down despite it though. You went through the motions of grabbing more beers and cleaning bottles, trying to do damage control for the next day. Just as you were grabbing a couple of empty Coors, you were stopped from putting them away when a body stepped into your path. 

You inhaled deeply and stared up from her fishnet clad legs, and finally to Daniela’s face. Apparently your fight or flight instit was lacking because instead of running away like a scared little girl, you froze and looked up at her like a deer in headlights. Your hands shook and you dropped the bottles, wincing when they crashed to the floor and smashed neatly at your feet.

A couple of glances went your way, but soon enough everyone got back to their own business, not wanting to be caught staring at Bishop’s old lady. You gulped and were about to start babbling like an idiot, scrambling for an apology, but apparently you were too scared to do that too.

“Careful, bambi,” Daniela drawled, kicking the big shards out the way with her chunky heels. “Don’t want you to get hurt. We’ve got big plans for you.”

“Y-you have?”

“Mmm, thought I told you, Bambi,” A voice growled from behind you. “We have a proposition for you.”

You turned quickly and spun right into Bishop, eyes going wide as you stared at the president. His expression was unreadable, his eyes were intense on you but his lips were quirked in a slight smile. You had no idea what was going to happen. Though you had noticed he’d changed from saying it was a job and now a proposition all of a sudden. What did that mean exactly? 

They were either going to fuck you or have fun fucking each other after disposing of your corpse. You’d narrowed it down to those possibilities at least.

You gulped and just as you were about to move out of Bishop’s space, he grabbed your arms and pulled you toward him, pressing his mouth to your ear. You could feel the warm leather of his kutte and the tickle of his moustache light up your flesh, drawing more shallow breaths from you.

“Be a good girl and come with us,” he whispered lowly. 

You nodded, feeling your throat go dry and your heart race. This was it, you were going to find out what fate they had in store for you. Once Bishop was satisfied you’d follow, he released you from his tight grip and walked ahead toward templo. He navigated expertly round fallen drunk bodies while you stumbled forward and Daniela followed behind.

You felt small again when you finally walked into the sacred space, swallowed into the darkness and feeling 2 feet tall. There was only one dim light illuminating the room and it flickered ever so slightly, putting your nerves on edge. You bit your lip and just as you were about to ask what they wanted with you, you cried out when you were shoved toward the table. 

You slammed back into it, grabbing the rough edge with your hands, feeling the cold hardwood dig into your back. Everything seemed to be happening too fast, the room was spinning. The two figures advanced toward you. You swallowed down a breath and watched as they both came to a stop and looked from you to each other with heavy lidded gazes and restless hands.

“Was it true what you said that night?” Bishop finally said, reaching out and tucking a stray bit of hair behind your ear.

Your flesh burned as his calloused hands stroked circles into it. It felt like your blood was igniting in your veins right there and you were going to burn up. Though, maybe that was just the shyness that was eating you up as you tried to avoid their eyes.

“W-what?” You finally asked, mentally cursing at how dumb you sounded.

“Oh, Bambi, don’t play stupid,” Daniela said, reaching out and digging her freshly manicured nails into the soft flesh of your thigh. “Do you need me to repeat what you said?”

Your leg burned where her nails were scraping, but that sensation combined with Bishop’s hands softly grazing your face was enough to have you shaking with pleasure. You knew for a fact if you touched yourself right now you’d be on fire, you’d be dripping. 

“I- uh-”

“You said that if you had the choice you’d want to fuck Bishop and his hot old lady,” she interrupted, grinning effortlessly with that pearly white smile of hers.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” You giggled nervously, feeling your stomach flutter.

Bishop chuckled at you, revelling in how shy you were. It wasn’t what he was used to and part of him was excited by it. He liked knowing that you held them to such a high regard, he was getting off on the fact that you were there on that table, letting them touch you and clearly getting just as horny as they were. Even despite your fear.

He’d looked over to his wife and grinned when he caught his mirror image, his woman thinking just the same. Daniela was possessive of her man sure, but there was something about you that made her want to own you too. To have you there admiring her and Bishop like they were Mayan gods and you a disciple, she wanted to be worshipped and she knew she could get that from you. Her own little endorphin shot. 

“When Dani told me what you said, I thought it was cute. I was surprised that she let you away so lightly, but then it occurred to me that maybe she actually liked your little idea…and then when we were on that pool table and I asked her if she wanted to make you our little bitch she clenched on me like a fucking vice, bambi,” Bishop rasped, suddenly gripping your jaw and making you gasp. 

You squeaked at the thought of them discussing you while they fucked and swore that you’d feint right then and there. Was this a dream? You licked your lips and stole glances at both of them, feeling your thighs start to tremble and grow light. You were clutching at the table just to stay up now. 

“So what do you say? You wanna be part of the only threesome worth being in?” Daniela asked innocently, trailing her nails gently up and down your thighs now. “You can say no if you want to. But something tells me you won’t.”

If your heart were to beat any faster you’d be sure that they’d both have heard it. You were incapable of forming any words now, your lips were about to open and form some sort of reply but then your head was too empty to come up with anything. You just nodded instead, slowly at first and then frenzied, moaning under your breath. You’d be crazy to say no. 

And just like that, it felt like you’d  ordered a hit on yourself. Bishop fastened this hand around your neck and his eyes transformed into darkened pits. Daniela moved behind Bishop and kissed his neck, grinning at you impishly while you stared up with big helpless eyes. 

“Get on your knees then, Bambi. Be a good girl for us,” Bishop growled. 

You whimpered and did as he said straight away, falling to your feet and landing straight by his crotch. That wasn’t an accident though, he pushed your face into it and had you inhaling his hardness. You were flush with his pulsing dick, feeling as it grew bigger with every passing second, throbbing away at your heating cheeks.

Daniela moved around to your back, coming to Bishop’s front so that she could share a passionate kiss with him. You could hear their breaths come in hot and heavy while you lingered there by Bishop, feeling your eyes grow progressively wider as you realised how huge he actually was. Your breath started to go and for a second as you watched them, a silent observer allowed into their love making. You couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Thats a real man’s cock right there Bambi. Guaranteed better than any son of a bitch you’ve ever been with” Daniela said, voice heavy with lust as she spared a glance down at you. “Do you want a taste? Wanna get it warmed up for me?”

“Fuck yes,” you moaned.

You didn’t need to think twice about it. You were practically salivating already. You reached up to his waistband and grabbed at his belt, pawing it off and making quick work of his buttons. It sprang out hard and thick right before your eyes and had you already gasping as you took it in fully. Daniela wasn’t kidding, that dick was better than any other you’d seen before.  

“Mmm, she’s so eager, baby. She’s a little slut for us,” Bishop groaned, fisting his hand into your hair. 

You whimpered at his words, but you didn’t have anything to say back to that. You were a slut when it came to them apparently. Especially when Bishop was gripping your head and holding his cock out to you like you were his loyal pet and that was your treat. In fact, the situation didn’t feel far off. 

“You want this cock? You tell us how much you want it, tell us how much of a whore you are,” Bishop grinned.

You looked up helplessly to them both and bit your lip, repressing your embarrassed smile. This was like Christmas. This was a dream come to life, they were so degrading, but you loved it. How could you not revel in their attentions, whatever attention that might be. 

“I’m a whore,” you murmured at first, still chewing on your lip. “I’m a little whore and I wanna warm your cock up for Daniela, gonna get it nice and wet.”

Daniela’s eyes lit up when you said her name and she smiled wide at your admission. She was getting off on this just as much as you were. You felt her chase off Bishop’s hand from your head and replaced it with her own. She urged you toward her husband's cock and guided you, telling you how to lick and suck it just right. 

While you nuzzled at Bishop’s crotch, Bishop got to work undressing his wife. He unbuttoned her tight black denim shorts and rucked them down with her fishnets, pulling her top over her head straight after and chucking it away without ceremony. Her soft curvy body was revealed to you in full and you almost choked in double when you saw her standing above you like something out of a dirty film. 

“You think she’s pretty, Bambi? Tell her how pretty she is,” Bishop grunted, straining with effort. “My beautiful fuckin’ wife.”

Oh, she was pretty alright. You squeaked when Bishop pulled his cock from your mouth. 

“You’re like a goddess,” you breathed, licking your wet lips. “So pretty.”

“Aren’t you sweet, bambi! Why don’t you come up and give me a kiss?”

It was like you were hypnotised. You stood immediately, eager to do whatever she asked and kissed her. She was so soft and warm, and she tasted like sugar and fruity cocktails. Just like heaven. You were losing yourself, feeling like you were falling into a fantasy. 

Before you could fully comprehend that your own clothes were coming off, you were standing before her equally naked. Bishop had expertly taken down zippers and buttons and shrugged off every last scrap of material, which you’d failed to notice until you felt him pressed to your back. The rough leather of his kutte sent shivers through your spine. 

“You’re a pretty little thing yourself,” he said in a lowly voice. “Been hiding all this away from us, you little minx.”

Soon enough you were sandwiched between them, lost in kissing Daniela and then being turned to kiss Bishop, until eventually you were all naked and making out in a sloppy circle. It felt like your breath was getting heavier and heavier, your head was light and suddenly you were feeling a high you’d never felt before, moaning lowly into their sweet mouths. 

“Such a needy little whore, Bambi,” Bishop rasped, pulling away from your desperate mouth. “Why don’t you bend over that table and show us that cute little ass, huh?”

In less than a second you were bent over the table, staring into the darkness at the end of the room as the couple indulged in looking you over. You could feel the heavy weight of their stares on you. Their hands drifted over your cheeks, pulling and squeezing and scraping their nails, drowning you in a flurry of feelings. 

Then, before you could prepare for it, a sharp slap fell over your ass causing you to cry out and look back at them both with wide eyes. It had your heart thumping and spine tingling. 

“Aw, does baby not like it too rough?” Daniela teased. 

“No-yes, i mean- wait yes do it again,” you rasped, not quite all there enough to be coherent. 

“Poor kitten, doesn’t know what way’s up,” Bishop chuckled, following up with another hard slap. 

“She doesn’t need to, just needs to do what she’s told, right baby?”

“Right.”

You Yelp again when another slap comes and feel your head grow fuzzy, losing yourself in the burning. It’s not long until the unforgiving slaps are replaced with fingers working their way past your thighs and through your folds. There’s a buzz letting loose through your body and you can feel your tummy getting tight with the building sensation.

You’re getting wet, you can feel it and even hear it a little as Bishops fingers continue to work on you. He’s erratic, growing lazy as he makes out with his wife and slows down on you. It had you whimpering out with frustration. You need him to go a little faster, you need more. 

“Oh are you getting needy, Bambi?” Daniela asks, breaking away from her husband. “You need more?” 

“Uh huh, please please, more,” you beg, hoping for some relief.

You can hear them both whispering to each other for a moment, though what they’re saying you don’t know. All you were aware of was that Bishops hand had slowed to a complete stop. Now you were getting nothing. Were you above crying for more? The thought was filling your mind more than any other. 

A few moments later Daniela moved around to your front and stroked a hand through your hair. It had you arching your back. It wasn’t the touch you needed, but any sort of attention was something. It had you looking up into Daniela’s calculating eyes with a pleading look, watery with need. 

“Make some room, Bambi,” she murmured, her voice was sultry now. 

You picked up on her tone and the way her body leaned into the table, and realised her intentions right away. She wanted to sit in front of you, sit in front of your face. Your cheeks heated up, but you managed to oblige despite your brain melting down. 

You moved aside and let her lay in front of you, she was flat on the table. Her chest rising and falling a little heavier now that your breath was huffing out fast into her mound. Your eyelids were drooping heavily with lust. 

“Now, bambi, have you ever eaten pussy before?” bishop asks, renewing his teasing touches.

Bishops fingers are practically gliding through your lips. You’re so wet, so ready for him. Goddammit, why couldn’t he go a little faster? Wait - it registers he asked you a question. 

“Y-yes,” you answer shyly. “I was with a girl for a little bit.”

“Mhmm, that’s good bambi,” he chuckles, finger snagging at your entrance. “Bit of experience puts you at an advantage. See, the game is simple. If you can make my woman cum before I make you cum, I’ll be very generous. I’ll give you my cock. If not, then you can watch while I fuck my pretty little wife and then we’ll give you a spanking you won’t ever forget. What do you say?”

Your mind whirrs with what Bishop says and you feel your tummy do a flip. This is the hottest thing you’ll ever be involved in. This is a goddamned fantasy come true. You could hardly believe it was real. 

“Yes, Bishop! Yes, please,” you whine, already clasping at Daniela’s thick thighs.

Her skin is so soft you swear it’s like grasping at a cloud. You look over her body and bite your lip, you’re ready. You’re ready to lap at the glistening pussy in front of you, and you’re ready to get fucked by Bishop after your victory. You can practically feel the smile curling at your lips already. 

“Ugh, what are you waiting for, Bambi? You want a fucking invitation?” Daniela moaned out.

That’s all you needed. The game begins. You flick your tongue out gingerly to start with, picking up on the whimpers that work their way out of that pretty mouth. You listen out for every little whine and every twitch of her legs and stomach, responding to them all. Her warm salty taste drifts over your tongue and fills your senses, dulling your mind as it slowly grows drunk with need. Your strokes grow bolder and you pull yourself closer to her, nuzzling into her pussy and drawing out those delicious cries.

“That’s it, that’s it, oh my god!” She moaned out, getting lost in her reverie. 

“Mm, that feel good baby? You enjoying our little fucktoy?” Bishop asked, his voice thick with lust. 

“Yes, shit - yes!”

You could only be privy to their conversation, not a part of it. Although, you were so mentally occupied you couldn’t have even formed words anyway. 

Despite how busy you got yourself though, nothing could distract you from Bishop's fingers. They were so thick and had the perfect feel on your swollen clit. His calloused hands grazed on all the right spots. It had you writhing, almost screaming out when he started adding fingers inside you, stretching you out and making you crazy with lust. 

Your whole body was shaking. It felt like you were a firework about to explode. You can feel your legs losing all sensation, so overwhelmed by all the stimulation. Your head was feeling heavier and your jaw was slowly aching, there was a temptation to give into Bishop, to let go and let yourself cum on his skilful fingers. It’s not like you wouldn’t get off like crazy just watching Bishop and Daniela fucking, you’d thought to yourself. 

But, God, you didn’t really want to stop though. Hearing the noises that were coming out of Daniela was too heavenly. Knowing it was you and not Bishop doing that to her made it all the sweeter. Another moan came that made you redouble your efforts, curling your hand around her thigh even tighter and adding a finger and then another. You were creating a symphony of screams now. 

Your breaths were coming in sharp and fast, Bishop was chucking behind you. He knew how hard it was for you to keep going without cumming. Your thighs were shaking like mad and you were so wet and sloppy. 

“Aw, little bambi. That feel good? You like my fingers in your little pussy, hm? You wanna come on my hand? Wanna let go for me?” Bishop growled, egging you on. “C’mon Bambi, let go, cum for me.”

God he was gonna be the death of you. 

Your whole body felt completely overheated. Like you were going to melt all over the table. You were screaming out into Daniela’s pussy, but judging by the sounds drowning out your screams above you, she was close too. You were both writhing together like something out of a porno and Bishop was getting the perfect view of it all. He was the president in all aspects, the winner at the head of the table.

You sped up your pace, tongue moving wildly against her, fingers diving into her wetness with reckless abandon. You both sang together in a cacophony of moans, your throat was aching, Daniela was straining. 

Then, just as you were beginning to feel yourself give in to Bishop, you felt Daniela grab a fistful of your hair. She screamed and pushed herself onto you, drenching you in her wetness. 

“Fuck!” She was cursing, laying out a whole string of profanity. 

And soon enough you were chasing your high as well, coming apart on Bishop's fingers. Your entire body tensed up and then you were undone, your head was empty. All that was left was white noise and Daniela’s wetness all over your naked body. The sound of silence and your pleasure all swirling into a delicious ecstasy inside your mind.

“Ladies! That was quite a show. Look at you both,” Bishop chuckled, “Dani, my love, I’m almost jealous. How long’s it been since you were sprawled out like that for me?”

Bishop stood over your legs, shuttering them in between his big arms as he leaned on the table you were sprawled out on. The very table he used to conduct business everyday. The table where life and death decisions were made, where you’d had a little death of your own. 

“Mm, you had me like this this morning Obispo, don’t undersell yourself,” Daniela moaned, recovering her breath once again. “Shit, bambi, you really did a number on me. Who knew you had all that in you.”

You smiled weakly, head almost too full of fuzz to respond beyond a series of moans. Almost. You were coherent enough to feel proud of your achievement. You were practically glowing with the knowledge that you were the one that had Bishop's old lady screaming like that. 

“I got more in me if you want it,” you said brazenly, biting your lip while you gushed at her reaction. 

“Well you say that now…” she smiled, sitting up and stretching out toward you, locking you into a quick kiss. “But we’ll see how you do with getting fucked silly by my husband, hm?” 

You gulped, not realising what you’d gotten yourself into until Bishop was suddenly on you again, rutting into you with his big thick cock. He slicked it through your wet folds, stroking through the wetness there and getting himself ready to wreck you. You were already gripping at the table in anticipation. Soft whimpers escaping from your mouth.

He took his time getting prepared. Had you needily moaning into Daniela’s mouth as she continued to steal a taste of herself from your lips. Your head was still ringing with fuzz and static from your last orgasm, but already, you could feel another beginning to build. The way his cock was pressing up against your clit was slowly driving you wild.

“Are you ready for me, Bambi? Mhmm? Wanna cum all over my cock, filthy girl?” Bishop rasped, still lazily rutting against you.

You were freed for a moment to answer, though you were slow on the uptake. It was hard to answer when you were panting so hard and pussydrunk to boot. There was barely a neuron left firing in your head.

“Please,” you moaned, whimpering like a mess. “Please, Bishop. Wanna get fucked. Please fuck me.”

“Aw, you beg so pretty, Bambi,” Bishop teased, rocking deliberately harder against your clit. “What do you think, Dani? You think she’s ready?”

You looked up and gazed into Daniela’s eyes, watching as she surveyed the scene in front of her with a sly smile and wondered vaguely if you might still be up for the chopping block. There was something so unnerving about the way she was looking at you. Though, you would soon come to learn you weren’t half as prepared as you thought you were for the fucking you were about to recieve.

“Give it to her hard, baby. Make her scream!” she rasped, tightening her grip on your hair.

And just like that, she’d unleashed the bull from his pen. Bishop’s cock caught your entrance and punched up, sliding all the way in and to the point that you were already heaving breaths. The stinging of his fullness was soon replaced by waves of harsh pleasure that rolled and crashed, carrying you away into a sea of sensation.

You were screaming and clutching at Daniela, burying yourself in her softness, continuing to accept her sloppy kisses, until you were pushed back down to her pulsing pussy. It gave you the perfect excuse to grab onto her thighs, clutching at her as if you were drowning. You, buried yourself into her and lost yourself, moaning like someone possessed as the feeling of Bishop’s cock driving in and out of you sent you wild. In and out, pistoning like a porn star.

“This pussy feels so good Bambi, you got such a greedy little cunt. You’re falling apart for me like a little whore,” Bishop panted, still maintaining his punishing rhythm. “You gonna come for me again? Gonna make my dick feel good?”

You moaned, too lost in his wife’s pussy for any real words.

“Ugh, Bishop, my love, I can practically feel you through her, fuck,” Daniela moaned, banging her hand down on the table through a particularly hard thrust. 

“Yeah? She making you feel good, princessa? Fuck, such a good little fuck toy, isn’t she?”

“Ugh, I could take her home,” she squealed.

“We could - ugh - Lock her away and take her out to play with whenever we want.”

“Oh, baby. I bet she’d like that, such a good little doll for us.”

“Fuck!” you screamed, your cries muffled.

Their words were getting to you, tangling through your mind and tightening the chord that was threatening to come undone. You were on the brink of another orgasm. You could feel it straight down to your toes, your whole body was alive with a steady thrum that cut through you like a scalpel.

“Ugh, come on, slut. Cum for us, come for us now. Go! Scream!”

You only barely heard Bishop before you were screaming out and clenching on his cock. You could hear yourself feintly, but only barely. Every little fibre of your being was lost to the couple now, letting them take complete control of you. You were theirs now, completely at their mercy. Just as you’d always fantasised.

You could feel Bishop ease up on you a little, starting to slow down his thrusts until he was barely moving. He rested in your over sensitive pussy for a moment, revelling in your soft warmth and gently eased himself out after a minute or two. It drew out a low moan from you, made you jump against the rough wood. You could shamefully feel the warmth of your wetness spreading over your thighs, your pussy was weeping.  

Daniela’s hands stroked through your hair for a second or two as her and Bishop shared a whispered conversion. The soft tones and the gentle petting was calming you, making the fuzziness recede and the darkness seem less all consuming. Then you were back in the room again.

“Poor little Bambi, all fucked out,” Daniela cooed, stroking your cheek. “Why don’t you take a break, hm? Just lie there and watch, pretty girl.”

Daniela was moving to your side and dutifully you pulled yourself up onto the table and lay there fully, staring as Bishop lined himself up with his wife and drew her into a hard kiss. Their lips came together noisily and you watched on, completely enraptured as they grabbed at each other and explored familiar paths along each other's skin. It was true love if you’d ever seen it.

You sighed breathily and soon enough Bishop was parting from her lips and grabbing his wife’s hair, staring intently as if he were about to say the most important words in the world, whispering something in the shell of her ear. You bit your lip, and despite how ward you’d come already, you felt stirrings in your tummy again as you watched them. There was something so hot about being an observer, lying there in your fading ecstacy and watching as they engaged in their heated ritual.

“Ugh, you feel so fucking tight for me, Pincessessa,” Bishop rasped, finally sliding into his wife. “You ready to put on a show?”

“Always ready, my love,” she moaned, gripping onto Bishop’s shoulders tight. “Always…ugh! Fuck, keep your eyes on us, Bambi. Watch how I take his cock.”

You moaned out, mesmerised by the sight in front of you and lay back into the table, settling into the warm wood below. You were quite happy to do whatever they asked, feeling like the cat that got the cream. Even if you were to die that night, you’d mused, you knew you’d die happy.

Who knew drinking games could be so fun? 

[cuttoothed]

Getting this in just under the wire for day 1 of @jonmartinweek prompt “Comfy Jumpers”. I get so much joy from writing these two in s1 and thinking “lol you idiots are going to be in love some day.”

*

Martin knows that Jon doesn’t approve of the way he dresses.

It’s not exactly a surprise. Jon doesn’t approve of much about Martin: his report-writing, his Latin translations, even his very existence seems to irk Jon at times. Frankly, the feeling is mutual. Martin was perfectly happy working in the library, where his boss wasn’t an overbearing perfectionist arsehole, and if he’d been given a choice in the matter he’d still be shelving books and updating the filing systems, not getting glared at for his clothing choices. He’s well aware that Jon never wanted him in the Archives either, but they’re here now, so Mister Head Archivist is just going to have to live with it. They’re both going to have to.

Jon isn’t subtle about his displeasure; it’s difficult to miss his pointed scowls at Martin’s scuffed trainers and graphic-print t-shirts. And considering that Sasha wears jeans and t-shirts some days as well—though admittedly she tends to plain colors or muted prints, rather than retro video game characters—it’s pretty clear that it’s less about the clothes than it is the person wearing them.

Well, Jon can scowl all he wants, because everything Martin wears technically falls within the Institute’s dress code and there’s not a word Jon can say to him.

Martin has always run hot, so as winter closes in and other people are bundling up in heavy coats and jumpers, he throws hoodies over his t-shirts and zips them up only far enough that the bright graphic prints are still clearly visible to Jon’s critical eye.

Yeah, he thinks sometimes when he walks into Jon’s office, get an eyeful of Yoshi and see how you like it.

Jon, for his part, seems determined to outlast the winter in his usual dress shirt and tweed jacket combo. Martin knows that Jon isn’t particularly warm blooded—he’s seen the way the man huddles into his jacket like a tortoise in its shell until the central heating warms the basement up in the mornings—but he still refuses to add so much as an argyle sweater vest to his outfit in deference to the season.

The only concession Jon makes to the weather is a voluminous gray overcoat and a dark purple scarf, which he takes off the moment he gets into the office, regardless of how cold it is before the ancient heating system creaks to life.

And, well, it’s none of Martin’s business if his boss is too much of a pompous arse to dress appropriately for the weather. If he wants to freeze his backside off to maintain his academic dignity, far be it from Martin to intervene. Martin doesn’t feel sorry for him, when he sees Jon blowing on his fingers to warm them up, or briskly rubbing his arms while he waits for the kettle to boil and he thinks nobody else is around. Not in the slightest.

It’s below zero on the day in December when the central heating finally gives up the ghost. Even Martin can feel the chill in the Archives this morning, keeps his hoodie zipped up all the way even when he runs into Jon in the kitchenette. Jon looks miserably cold, his shoulders hunched and his movements stiff as he makes his tea.

“Morning, Jon,” Martin says cheerfully. “Bit nippy, isn’t it?”

“Just a bit,” says Jon sardonically. Somewhere overhead, there’s a metallic clanking as the heating system starts up.

“Finally,” Jon mutters, casting his eyes upward. The pipes creak and clank some more, and there’s an odd whirring sound that Martin’s fairly sure isn’t normal, and then a long, descending groan into silence.

“Oh,” says Martin. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“Bloody hell,” says Jon, and storms off to his office. A while later, he sends an email to inform them all that he’s spoken to Elias and the heating is out for the whole building, and that they should all feel free to work from home for the rest of the day if they choose. Sasha and Tim waste no time packing up, but Martin lingers, agonizing over which notes and references he should take with him. He’s never before had a job where working from home was an option, and he isn’t Tim or Sasha, isn’t someone Jon trusts and actually wanted to work with. Martin needs to make sure he gets it right.

At last he thinks he has everything he needs, but still Martin is hesitating, fiddling with the strap of his satchel. Maybe he should just check in with Jon before he leaves, make sure there isn’t anything else he needs to do. Make sure Jon knows I’m going to be working today, not just skiving off.

The door to Jon’s office is standing ajar; Martin taps on it, and pokes his head in without waiting for a response.

Jon looks up as he walks in, his expression startled. He is wearing a jumper. A chunky knit jumper in a warm maroon color, with a Christmas tree and several reindeer on the front. One of the reindeer has a red bobble for a nose. The jumper is oversized, the ends of the sleeves falling past Jon’s wrists.

It’s...incredibly cute, which is not a term that Martin ever expected to associate with his arsehole boss. Attractive, in a severe, unattainable way, sure, but not cute. Yet somehow, here they are.

“Ah, Martin,” Jon says, looking flustered. “I, uh, I thought you’d left with the others?”

“I was—I just wanted to check in with you first, make sure you didn’t need anything. You should head home too, it’s freezing in here.”

“I—I’m perfectly fine.” Jon plucks at the front of the jumper, looking embarrassed. “This is, ah, I bought this for the Institute Christmas party, but it’s surprisingly warm—and quite comfortable.”

“Oh, that’s, uh, that’s not part of your usual wardrobe then?” Martin hazards a chuckle, and to his relief, Jon huffs an amused breath. He raises a hand to adjust his glasses, but his sleeve gets in the way; he pushes both sleeves up to the elbows, and oh no, that’s even cuter.

“No, not—not usually,” he says. Martin frowns, suddenly remembering.

“You didn’t wear it at the party last week, though?”

“No, it’s—it was from the previous year, when I was in Research. It-it didn’t seem appropriate this year, being in a management role. Fortunately I still had it in a box, though I, uh, I didn’t really expect anyone to see me in it.”

Martin feels a sudden pang of something that might be sympathy. He understands how it feels, the desperate pressure to be professional, to be taken seriously, the constant second guessing of what you’re doing, whether you’re giving away something you shouldn’t. It’s hardly the same, of course: Jon’s not likely to be fired for wearing a silly jumper. But...Martin gets it.

“Actually,” he lies, “I, uh, I have to meet with Sophie up in the library later, so I’m around for the day. I was just going to go out and pick up some early lunch. Thought I’d see if you want anything?”

“Oh, ah, where are you going?” Jon asks tentatively, looking surprised at the offer.

“I was thinking of that cafe just around the corner—maybe get some soup and a sandwich?”

“That would be...very nice, actually. If you’re sure you don’t mind?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I did,” says Martin, and takes the ten pound note Jon offers him.

“Thank you, Martin,” says Jon, and it’s the probably the most sincere thing Martin’s ever heard him say. He finds himself smiling without meaning to.

“Not a problem.”

It’s too early for lunch, really, but Martin knows Jon never eats breakfast and he missed it himself this morning. He gets two portions of steaming tomato and basil soup and toasted cheese sandwiches from the cafe, and when he gets back, Jon’s found a small space heater to plug in, so his office is marginally warmer than the rest of the Archives. They sit on opposite sides of Jon’s desk to eat, talking about the case that Martin’s working on. It’s the first time Martin’s actually had the chance to properly discuss a case, rather than stumbling through his report while Jon watches expectantly; Jon listens, and asks questions, and even offers some helpful suggestions for Martin’s follow up. It’s...oddly nice.

(Jon also continues to look unreasonably cute in his oversized Christmas jumper, but Martin carefully ignores that.)

The heating gets fixed by early afternoon, and the Archives warm up to the point where Martin can unzip his hoodie. When he drops off his finished case report to Jon’s office, Jon is back in his shirt and jacket, the maroon jumper packed away out of sight. He looks perfectly staid and professional once again. I saw you looking cute, though, Martin thinks, and then tries to pretend he didn’t; he is not going down that route.

Jon glances up when Martin comes in, taking in the “Marvin the Martian” t-shirt that’s now visible beneath his hoodie. Instead of a disapproving scowl, however, he gives a small, hesitant smile.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says as he takes the report, and something flutters warm in Martin’s chest.

Oh no, he thinks.

[fific7]

Ticket to Ride - Part 4

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance, in which he gets a taste of his own medicine.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral and unprotected, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My Photo Edit)

𝔹𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕𝕓𝕪𝕖

𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕖, 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕓𝕪 𝕞𝕖

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy woke up really early due to light streaming into his room. The sun was coming up. He couldn’t bring himself to close the curtains the previous night - after all, the view was the big thing in this hotel, wasn’t it? He rearranged his pillows so that he could still lie in bed but also tipped his head up enough so he could see the view.

It was too early to go along to her room yet, so he’d laze a little, shower and then he’d go. He hoped that her anger had cooled overnight, as the two of them really had to have a conversation. Not that he was looking forward to that conversation, but he realised that if he wanted to have even an outside chance of getting her back, he had to man up and tell her the truth. He had the distinct feeling that If he only told her part of it - a sanitised version of what had happened - she’d see right through him and that would be that.

He laughed out loud.... god he hadn’t even slept with the woman, but if he’d known the shitstorm that was going to be stirred up by all of this, maybe he should’ve just damn well done it!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Meanwhile, you sat at the departure gate waiting for the boarding call. You’d always wanted to visit your next destination so while you were sad to leave Barcelona, you felt excited to be on your way.

With a little smile, you thought that the only real regret you had was you wouldn’t be there to see the expression on Billy’s face when he realised you’d skipped town again.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

As soon as he’d had that thought a little voice inside his head had said, if you had then you’d never ever get her back and you know it. Yeah, he did know it. So it was just as well I didn’t, he acknowledged to himself. Some no-strings sex with Madani wasn’t worth wrecking what he’d had with her.

Now he just had to hope that he wasn’t already too late to salvage that.

Billy stepped out onto the 20th floor landing then began walking up the red corridor to her room. He spotted a cleaning cart in the corridor - wait, that wasn’t outside her room, was it? No, it couldn’t be. But he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach the nearer he got.

He came to a halt next to the cart, and looked at the room number on the door for confirmation but he knew it before he even saw it.

She’d run out on him again.

Billy cursed loudly then swung round on his heel and headed back to the lifts. He took his phone out as he walked, hitting a starred number. It rang for a while then a grouchy voice said, “Yeah, what?”

“Micro? Got another job for you.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After clearing Customs and Passport Control you walked briskly out of the terminal building, following a sign indicating where you needed to go. You were getting more and more impatient to get to the city by the minute, but you knew you had to make sure you picked the correct coloured route, as they went to different destinations.

Standing on the jetty at Marco Polo Airport, you waited patiently along with other passengers for the Alilaguna airport boat to moor alongside it and which would then take you to Venice.

La Serenissima. The city which floats on a lagoon.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank listened to what Micro had to say, then exploded. “Oh for fuck’s sake!!! This is gettin’ out of control. Yeah okay, do his search then let me know - not him - what you find out.”

He ended the call and threw his phone onto the bedside table. He’d have to speak to Bill, this was too much.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was in a temper. He threw his clothes and toiletries into his duffel bag and zipped it up viciously. Nothing from Micro yet and he had to check out of his room now. He’d just have to sit in the bar/lounge downstairs and have a drink or two until he did hear back.

An hour and two whiskies later (yes, he’d thought as the barman’s eyebrows raised up at his request, it is damn early for a whisky but you have no idea what I’m going through), Billy was getting more and more impatient. Then his phone buzzed, but hope sank like a stone when he saw it was Frank.

“I guess he called you, then?” Billy said as soon as he answered the call. “Yep,” said Frank, “...he did. And this is the last one, Bill, you hear me?” “It’s not my fault she keeps flyin’ off t’different places!” whined Billy. “It’s your damn fault she took off in the first place, dumbass!” growled Frank and Billy said nothing as he couldn’t argue with that.

“Where’s she gone, Frankie?” he asked after a short silence. “Venice.” “Ah shit!!! Back to the States? Didn’t see that coming.” “Not Venice Beach, Bill... Venice, Italy.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You settled yourself onto the wooden bench inside the vaporetto which would take you on the short hop across the wide Giudecca Canal from Palanca to Zattere. Vaporetti were the Venetian equivalent of public transport but a hugely more pleasurable experience. What would you rather hop on - a bus or a ferry? Yeah, definitely a ferry! You’d decided to stay on Giudecca instead of the main islands as it had a calmer, more relaxed vibe and tourists were much less in evidence.

Karen had texted you as you were getting unpacked in your small but cute room. Your hotel was surrounded by residential gardens and a narrow canal on one side; when you went out onto the large balcony, all you could hear was birdsong and the church bells of Venice. It was heavenly.

But Karen’s text had brought you down somewhat; Billy was on your track again. He’d been told by Frank that they weren’t going to help him out any longer, but you weren’t convinced that would put him off. Billy was the most stubborn sonuvabitch you’d ever met. Looking out the vaporetto windows, you saw a majestic tall ship making its way imperiously up the canal followed by a small tug like a lady in waiting, and wondered where it was sailing off to.

Sighing, you gathered up your bag as the vaporetto docked at Zattere and prepared to disembark. Maybe it was time to just sit down and have ‘that talk’ with him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy, meanwhile, was waiting impatiently for his flight to start boarding in Barcelona airport. He just had to pin her down this time. No more escaping him and the talk they had to have.

He marvelled at the fact that in Europe, you were never really that far from your next destination. Here he was in Spain and in less than two hours’ time, he’d be in Italy. He’d bought a travel guide to Venice in one of the airport stores and settled down to read it.

Frank had given him the name and location of her hotel, somewhere called Giudecca. He didn’t have the first fucking clue as to where that was, so he’d better find out and quickly. Okay…. here was a map. Venice seemed to be divided into six sestiere or areas… hmmm no mention of Giudecca. Oh right, here it was, a large island out on its own across the Giudecca Canal from Venice.

He pinpointed the hotel on the map and felt a lot more relaxed.

I know where you are now, kitten.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Escaping from the crowd of tourists in Piazza San Marco into the relative peace of Caffé Florian, you sat down and ordered a horribly expensive cappuccino and pastry from the impassive waiter. But it was worth it just to soak up the historical atmosphere. You looked round the opulently decorated and gilded interior and opened up your guide book; it had opened in 1720 and scores of famous faces had passed through its doors or listened to its musicians outside. Wow - Casanova, Lord Byron, Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemingway, Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, Andy Warhol. The list went on and on.

Coffee finished, you wandered out of Florian’s and back along the Piazetta next to the Doge’s Palace. There was an arched bridge - the Ponte della Paglia - on the waterfront from which you could see the world-famous Bridge of Sighs, and you joined the huddle of tourists at the top of the bridge to eventually make it to the front and take a picture of it. Your guide book told you the bridge was so called because after their trials, condemned prisoners would be taken from the Doge’s Palace over the small canal at its side to the prison, and their last sight of Venice would be from the bridge. Hence the ‘sighs’.

Next, you walked along to the Arsenale, the huge historical shipyard where Venice had built her vast number of ships which had enabled her to have a huge trading empire. It had been said that they’d been able to construct a fully equipped warship in one day. But that was long in the past, you thought as you looked at an array of stone lion statues outside its main entrance and a bust of Dante set onto the wall.

Turning away, you headed to the vaporetto stop of the same name and waited for the Line 1 vaporetto to arrive and take you on a sail up the Grand Canal.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Yet again, Billy was in a bad mood. After a couple of false starts, he’d eventually managed to make his way onto the correct Alilaguna boat at Marco Polo and had alighted at Zitelle on Giudecca.

But now here he was - walking backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards - along the waterfront, trying to find out where this damn fucking hotel was. He just couldn’t find it! Where the hell was it?

Billy spotted a guy around his own age walking towards him and stepped in front of him, asking politely in English if he could help him find this hotel. A stream of Italian burst forth and the guy must’ve realised that Billy didn’t understand one word, as he then took his arm and pulled him along the waterfront a little. He stopped and gestured towards one of the narrowest damn alleyways Billy had ever seen, quite near the vaporetto stop.

He thanked the guy effusively and set off up the alleyway. There were peoples’ houses on each side of it and he tried not to be too nosy as he walked past them. But echoing within the walls of the alley he could hear voices, children’s laughter, a football match on a TV, a dog barking… talk about living on top of each other. He wasn’t sure he could live like that but then it just depended on what you were used to, he supposed.

Arriving in a small open area leading to a canal and a bridge over it - Corte Ferrando, he saw on a sign - he found the Giudecca Hotel right on the corner next to the canal. At last!!!

Walking in to the small but light and airy reception area, he dumped his bag next to reception and asked the guy behind the desk if he could book a room. “Certainly, signore, how many nights would that be for?” Billy shrugged, saying, “I’ll make it for two nights for now, but maybe I’ll need to extend that, I’m not sure.” “That is no problem. Can I have your passport please, signore?”

Billy handed it over, thinking as he did, going by her recent history it might be only the one night!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You stepped off the vaporetto at Rialto. Well, you just had to walk over the famous bridge and be a total tourist didn’t you, stopping to take a picture looking back down the Grand Canal. You’d gazed at all the big palazzi lining the waterway as the vaporetto zig-zagged its way between all the stops on the canal. They were certainly impressive, but they also had a faded, melancholic air about them.

Some of them had been converted into museums, some rented out on long or short-term leases by their owners, or they were now owned by foreigners who only stayed in them for a handful of weeks each year. When the festivals were taking place… Carnevale, the Biennale, the Film Festival. The rest of the year they lay empty and lonely, no doubt steeped in dreams of the lavish masked balls and elegant dinner parties from centuries past, while the noble Venetian families who used to own them lived in modern condos in Mestre on the mainland, no longer in their beloved Venezia. How sad, you thought.

Heading back to the vaporetto stop, you decided you’d go to Accademia, have a look round the art gallery, visit the huge and famous church Santa Maria della Salute and then wander round the artisan shops in Dorsoduro, perhaps have a glass of vino in one of the cute little wine bars.

You were determined to make this afternoon and evening last for as long as you could. Billy would no doubt be waiting for you when you got back to Giudecca.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The man himself hadn’t even bothered unpacking this time, just in case. He’d had a quick shower and then had taken a short stroll around the local area. He noticed very few tourists and decided this was why she’d chosen it. He knew she’d prefer to sample the local life more than the tourist traps.

Not wanting to spend too much time away from the hotel, he made his way back and sat outside on the lone park bench in the courtyard area. He started running over in his mind what he was going to say to her, to be honest he still wasn’t sure how to frame it so that she wouldn’t go ballistic.

His stomach knotted. Who was he kidding? Of course she was going to go ballistic! He was about to admit he’d made out on more than one occasion with another woman. And irrespective of the fact that it had been strictly business from his point of view, his girl was not going to be the least bit impressed with him.

Fuck, I’ve really screwed this up, he allowed himself to think for the first time. He’d made his brain block out this uncomfortable thought what with all the chasing after her in the previous few days. He’d been telling himself over and over that everything would all be alright.

But now he thought… would it? Would it really?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Returning on the vaporetto to Palanca, you felt yourself starting to tense up. You knew Billy would either have arrived by now or would very shortly.

Whatever he had to say to to you, you knew you weren’t going to like it. The evidence was too strong that he’d been cheating on you and you weren’t going to let him off the hook for that. The problem was, you loved the stupid douchebag. But how could you trust him now, after he’d been seeing another woman? In some ways, it was worse that it was just the one. And you were sure it was just one, if the perfume evidence was anything to go by. It would almost have been better if he’d gone back to his old tom-catting ways, quantity over quality to coin Frank’s phrase. Your stomach twisted as you remembered him saying to you that at last Billy had reversed that equation when he got with you. But if he was seeing just the one? That was bad.

You began walking up the alleyway and as you reached the open area, you saw a figure sitting on the park bench, the back of a dark head. Billy.

Squaring your shoulders and feeling as if you were about to go into battle, you walked steadily towards him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Venice

(My Photos/video 3 & 7 / June 2012 & 2016)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @theshadowkingsqueen @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss @bruxa0007 @aleksanderwh0r3 @bat-luna-cat

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««