#so hard 4 me to understand bc like. i do so much to make sure my friends never ever have to feel anything like what i do

[gaystropod]

People will be like 'jesus christ perch why r u so upset i left u on read?' And i'll be sitting there like sorry man my bad pretending like i wasnt having nightmares about u hating me so much u killed me every night the last week about like. Man it sucks for me too idk.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[lucy90712]

kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him

A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up

Do it. Just do it. 

I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.

How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support. 

It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks. 

Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick. 

Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that. 

No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine. 

"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked 

"Yeah I'm fine" I said 

"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said 

"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted 

None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say. 

Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking. 

“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said 

Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown. 

“What is this?” He asked 

“I’m pregnant” I said 

“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled 

“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked 

“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said 

“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly 

“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned 

“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said 

“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked 

“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said 

Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now. 

After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already. 

[crazilust]

My thoughts on these placements

based on my last lover. PSA: this might be biased. don’t take it TOO seriously, it’s mostly for me to purge this relationship. LETS GOOOOOOO !!

1. Gemini rising

Have you ever felt hella special to someone and then you see them interact with someone else and you’re like “oh. i’m… i’m just another one of their friends.” this is what it feels to be around a gemini rising sometimes. most of the ones I know, are either extremely popular, know alot of people or at the very least just hang out regularly with a bunch of people (might just be colleagues and not necessarily friends but they’re often surrounded). And they have this way of making you feel special, and funny and entertaining but most of the times, they’re the ones controlling the discussion and the flow of it.

when it came to my ex, he knew so many people and every person he was interacting with, he knew a little detail about them, and it made the person care so much about him. Even though he didn’t as much. Somewhat flimsy, it’s hard to know a Gemini rising’ true intentions with you.

2. Sagittarius sun

Sags don’t have the best reputation in my book, and he certainly didn’t help the stereotypes. The thing with Sags sun that I find hard to understand is the constant lie they have between who they truly are and who they want to be. It’s a constant battle of “don’t look too hard into my flaws bc soon enough I’ll be this grandiose super star and therefore you can forget about the awkward nerd you have in front of you.” Most of them are nerds, truly. But they hate it. As opposed to Aquarius sun’s desire to be different and their ability to stand on their two feet even tho they’re being outcast, a Sag sun’s deepest fear is to be seen as the weirdo they are. (that unfortunately they associated with being a loser)

If you’ve never been close with a Sag, you’ll be the first to deny this claim. “What?? The Sag I met was THE life of the party! No weirdo here.” or “The Sag I met was a boss ass btch, she had everything under control and very educated!!”

And that, my friends, is what we call a front. Sure, they can be the life of the party, usually very keen on getting their diplomas, but if you don’t know them, that’s the only part of them you’ll get to see cause it’s the part they deem acceptable.

I’m not even gonna comment on the commitment issues, cause yall… you know it already lmao.

3. Virgo moon

Nobody hates an underdeveloped virgo moon more than they hate themselves. So critical, judgemental and harsh. They notice absolutely everything that you do and instead of going to you and confront you about the issue, they’ll keep it in, and throw it back to your face the minute it’s convenient for them (when they effed up). Very hard to love because they simply can’t accept that you love and accept their own flaws. I remember my ex asking me litteraly all the time “How can you love me if I’m not as pretty as before” (it was in his head, he was just as cute) “How can you love me if I don’t have a job?” (He had lost his job for only 2 months at that point) No matter what I’d say, he couldn’t believe that I loved him wholeheartedly, no matter what.

Sometimes, when I look at a virgo moon, unevolved ofc, all I can see is pain. Virgo is an already hard sign to have imo (sorry!) but in the moon placement, it’s just sad. These natives are so harsh on themselves and accept no help whatsoever. And if you do try, they’ll do everything to push you away and trust me, one thing Virgos do is succeed.

4. Libra Mars

As a scorpio mars, libra mars is not my favorite placement. But as I checked my vedic chart and I do, in fact, have a libra mars, I hate that I understand why they act the way they do.

They care so much about everything being perfect, everyone getting along and most importantly being at peace with the ones they love. The cliches are true for a reason, they dislike conflict and yes, are passive agressive but it’s because they don’t want to lose the people they love with petty drama.

So they don’t say anything, and they accomodate even tho that one thing irritated them and then when you confront them about something, they bring you everything you’ve done wrong for the past six months. That’s the part I hate, ofc, but I also hate that I get it.

I get it. They’re the biggest people pleasers and when they don’t say anything about something that upsets them, they actually think they’re doing it for the greater good. They obviously analyse everything you’re doing wrong, but they don’t mind not saying it cause they’d rather be at peace with you. So how dare you don’t do the same for them?

That’s the mentality. Unfortunately for them, it brings bigger conflict because then you feel betrayed they never said anything to begin with. UGH.

SPEAK YOUR MIND, Libras of any placements actually <3

5. Sagittarius Mercury

If you consider yourself soft, delicate, sensitive, do not date a Sag mercury. These people are ruthless. As friends, I find them hilarious and fun to be around, but as lovers I would never do that to myself again. Just never <3. They are very blunt (which doesn’t mean they won’t lie! We’re talking about a Jupiter ruled sign here yall), but in a way that won’t make you feel good about yourself. They’ll often use humour to attack you and then use it as a shield the moment you call them out on it (i.e : It was just a jokeeeeee!)

Gives very good advice, I’ll give them that. I think sometimes I can have a little bit of tunnel vision and with Sag mercuries, they’re able to tap you on the shoulder and be like “Have you consider this tho?” in the most casual way and you’re like “oh.. no. yes. you’re right”

6. Aquarius Venus

If you love the friends to lovers trope, you’ll just love dating an Aquarius venus because that friendship-like relationship will be the foundation of your dynamic. Everything feels fun, the complicity is at an all time high.

But the commitment.

Now, I’ve read multiple times here that Aquarius venus is actually very committed to the person they love when they like you. Well, I guess I wasn’t his person cause I only felt the commitment phobia.

Anyways, I still loved the dynamic of the relationship, but I can’t lie, it didn’t feel serious at all.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~•~•

Well that’s all for me, today. Love yall!!

Remember, these are the big 6 of my ex so it is biased nothing to take too personal but if it applies and resonates, great💛

B.

[4str0nuts]

DEEP DIVE INTO HORROPEDIAS AUTISTIC CODING : A GIANT ANALYSIS THING

ALTERNATE TITLE IS WHY THE FANDOM SHOULD CHECK OUT HOW THEY TREAT AUTISTIC CHARACTERS

Disclaimer before I go in; i’m using the global translations and the english voice acting as I am on the global server lol. This may affect some things but hopefully not a lot! Also i’m using this video [https://youtu.be/ygAkz4L2AMo?si=elrUeXGompMKYXUJ] for my proof and will provide timestamps!

Horropedia is one of the most loved characters in Reverse:1999 (bc haha funny autistic guy) , yet I literally see no serious posts discussing his character or even going into his character— even at a basic level. I’ve kinda been off to the side observing how the fandom treats Horropedia and it makes me question if people actually like him or some alternate version of him. Yeah sure this is a problem in every fandom but I’m too attached to Horropedia and i’m going to make it everyone’s problem.

There's all sorts of mischaracterisations of him where his autism is reduced to him being an “asshole” and “uncaring”, or that he is some funny reddit meme sona when that’s the case at all! Every other character gets to have serious posts yet when it comes to a very blatant autistic coded character, suddenly no one knows how to act despite the fact the fandom (going off of the twitter fandom here) prides itself on neurodivergency; so I’m here to dump a ton of analysis on Horropedia using ingame sources as proof as well as my own knowledge (as someone who is autistic myself), whilst also debunking mischaracterisations of him. I’m also doing this as I don’t think people treat Horropedias autistic coding seriously, seeing it as silly and thus ignoring all of his character.

Jumping straight in, Horropedia is not an asshole and is actually quite a caring character, even if he doesn’t show it conventionally. To me, it’s quite obvious that he cannot understand people at an emotional level, and always relies on his logical way of thinking no matter the situation; for example, when he broke Blonneys camera, he clearly does not understand why she is mad/upset and instead tries to comfort her logically rather than emotionally. Even when Blonney is very much showing she is mad, Horropedia cannot process that and cannot understand until she actually explains it [Part 5 54:07-57:20]. I can see why people may see it as an asshole move since he tells her to be “reasonable” over the camera breaking, though it is clear that this is another one of his autistic traits as people with autism have a hard time connecting with others’ in an empathetic way(which can come off as being blunt and uncaring) yet no one seems to mention that. Despite this, he still offers her to buy her a new camera once Blonney vents out to Jessica, coming to terms with what he did and making it up to her. [Part 12 2:10:37]

Adding onto the last point, Horropedia shows concern and care multiple times throughout the story. Even if he is bad at comforting people, he still tries to acknowledge what is wrong in regards to the situation. I’m trying to keep this short as I don’t necessarily think this is due to his autism but a cool detail I found with the English voice acting is that his tone gets softer when he’s more genuine (it could be seen as masking but shrug. Not too sure on this one as I'm making this point to show he does care in his own way.) He constantly makes sure everyone is safe and goes out of his way to protect others [Part 4 51:08 , Part 6 1:16:18-1:16:39], which is a small detail I think people gloss over. It’s just nice seeing Horropedia care for others in his own way since I struggle with expressing affection / emotions like him.

Back to his way of thinking, it’s practically plastered everywhere that he thinks in a logical way and takes everything at face value no matter what, which is a trait associated with autism. At the very start of the very event, he even breaks down Vertins joke and still a conclusion was that she wasn’t the person he was looking for (knowing full well she was) [Part 1 11:06-11:50]. Horropedia also explains things at face value— in a basic and straightforward way no matter what it is, which is another example of not truly understanding things at an emotional level! [Part 9 1:42:45-1:43:09]This does not mean he does not consider the consequences of a situation, and Horropedia actively avoids situations where it poses a threat / harm to others. Mentioning this to point out how some people in the fandom treat him like he is stupid?— Despite how he is the basic definition of a nerd with references to it all over his character and voice lines! Yes, he could be seen as careless considering he goes to Green Lake just like that with no approval, but he certainly isn’t oblivious to dangers around him. Horropedia himself explains that he is into horror movies because of how illogical they are(stating how it is like a puzzle), not necessarily the fear of them; so it makes no sense for Horropedia to directly put himself or others in harm's way.

Still relating to his way of thinking, Horropedia uses his horror logic so he can understand situations around him. He directly links back to his special interest to understand things— and to an extent others— better, special interests are a trait exclusive to autistic people! By using his horror special interest, he can understand the world better from his perspective. I don't even need to get examples of this because throughout the Green Lake event he makes references and links to horror movies, basing predictions on what to do in order to survive in the stereotypical like scene of Green Lake. Horropedia is full of reasoning, and despite his “debatable manners” (thanks Sonetto),he is not always too absurd with his predictions. It baffles me that people treat Horropedia like he is some happy-go-lucky kid, running head first into danger; he takes the time to understand a given situation in a way he would understand before doing anything.

Another really obvious thing is that he can’t understand social cues, or the body languages of others at all. Essentially he cannot read the room. The whole “I know the rules of social courtesy” [Part 12 2:19:19] line doesn’t necessarily mean he understands social cues— rules are (usually) based in logic and reasoning, and not emotions. Social courtesy just means the rules of society (or the foundation in this case? eh), and Horropedia knows he HAS to abide by the rules or else he will be in trouble. Something seen as ‘basic’ and ‘simple’ to people considered ‘normal’ by society may be hard to grasp by people who do not benefit from society (autistic people). Horropedia understands the ‘logical reasoning’ of how someone acts but he can’t connect with or understand someone else’s emotional responses. Literally look at most of his interactions with the film crew and Blonney, Jessica even steps in at one point to stop him from making the fight between Jason and Blonney worse [Part 6 1:11:38]; and even then he tries to use logic to break down the situation. Horropedia can’t pick up on social cues for the life of him, including body language and tone.

Smaller point here but I have a feeling Horropedia’s tone is hard to understand to some of the characters. Tooth Fairy couldn’t tell if Horropedia was joking towards the end of the event , where he shows off his “sense of humour”. Nothing much to add here I just found that really interesting…

Ive rinsed out all the notes I’ve taken on Horropedias autistic coding so far…….. feel free to add on more….. I may have gotten some things wrong because I have been working on this for a few hours straight. Surprisingly I still have more to analyse outside of his autism so if people are interested let me know bc i’m desperate .

TLDR: horropedia is autistic thanks for reading.

[southparkhcsocs]

kicking my feet and giggling

can you do something like the main 4 praising you whether it's nsfw or not or both

heavy on the nsfw but you can pick 🤭

It's been a while babes ❤️ remember when that's what this blog was lol

Fem!reader

Under 18s dni! NSFW under the cut.

All characters are aged up to mid 20s thx

Stan Marsh

Stan wouldn't praise you as much as you'd like.

He doesn't say much generally.

But when he's drunk. Good God.

You are a goddess to him.

Everything you do is amazing, omg stunning!

"you're soo pretty, y/n. 'm so lucky to ha ve you. Look at you. You do so mu-ch for me. I loove youu."

Whether sober or drunk he'll praise you in the bedroom

He's a pretty dominant guy but he has to make sure you know how perfect you are for him.

But it's so much more when he's drunk.

He will stop mid thrust to complement and praise you.

Will end in crying lol

"So perfect." He mumbled into your neck before going to kiss your lips. He stopped his movements to just admire your beauty. "I love you so much. You're so good to me... I don't deserve you." His lip trembles.

You need to praise him back bc bro is insecure!!

Kyle Broflovski

Kyle will praise you a nice amount I think

If he thinks you've done something well, like getting a job, promotion etc he'll genuinely praise you

"That's amazing! I knew you could do it!"

If it's something he doesn't think warrants praise, like getting groceries, cleaning, basically everyday things he won't say anything but thanks. Not that he doesn't appreciate it, he just thinks it's not a big deal.

If everyday things are something you struggle with he'll try praising you but it will be half-hearted.

I don't imagine Kyle being much of a talker during sex

I also imagine him getting quite flustered when you ask him to praise you while he's two fingers deep inside you

"I - uuuhh." His brain fizzles out. System overload as he looks into your desperate eyes. "P-praise you? H-how?" He asked. You thrust your hips to remind him to keep fingering you which kicks starts his brain back to work. "oh, uummm g-good girl. S-so precious aren't you." He burrows his face into the crook of your neck. "You feel so good around my fingers."

He'll get so embarrassed if you praise him. He's not used to it!

Kenny McCormick

Kenny showers you with praises

No matter what you've done he thinks you're amazing, he understands how difficult things can be and wants to shower you in love, complements and praises

But he's so cool and collected it's sexy

"great job, babe."

But will almost always end it with something sexual

"you deserve a reward, huh?"

In bed, he'll praise you constantly

He'll get you to praise yourself.

"you're such a good girl, aren't you? Tell me how good you are for me, baby." His words reverberate against your neck as he's 6 inches deep. Fucking you so hard that you can barely get the words out. "Come on pretty girl. Tell me how much you deserve this."

You can praise him but he'll praise you right back. So much. He'll give you butterflies.

Eric Cartman

Cartman isn't much of a praiser

If you cook him his favourite meal he'll be like "Meh"

The only time he would praise you is when he's bringing you back from subspace

"such a good girl." "You did so well." "Look how pretty you are covered in my cum."

Bro would have you begging to be praised.

"what? You think you deserve praise?" He takes hold of your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "Babe, you're only good when you're on your knees sucking my cock. If you're not doing that, what is there to praise?" His hand slides to the back of your head, pushing you down to his crotch. "You need to work for it, slut."

Nooo his ego is too big don't praise him!!!! He doesn't deserve it!

Will melt at being called a good boy.

[wordy-little-witch]

I am now hip deep in the Edge of Midnight campaign from legends of avantris and lemme tell you some shit -

1) I would lay down my life for Jericho Sticks without any hesitation. Torbek and Jericho are my sons now, no takesies backsies.

2) Lethica and Marius are so perfectly aligned to be end game lovers but I personally adore the idea of them being queerplatonic if only bc it's funny to watch people be confused and I think Lethica would adore that.

3) you can pry the concept of Briggsy having a some kind of magical fantasy cellphone equivalent from my cold dead hands - sending stone or smth idfk - and he's been keeping his buddy/boyfriend Torbek updated on all this like "Becky you would not BELIEVE what happened today-" ((listen I know the flirting bit between them in the yuletide one-shot was a feycurse but leave me alone it's funny as fuck))

4) briggsy @ jericho in ep 24 appropos nothing: Jerry, maybe we have to kiss ((sad, silly twinks with Literal Darksides are his type /j))

5) I have a friend-crush on Nikkie and I will never recover

6) I have an unyielding NEED to have Jericho get a final hit on a boss and yell yeehaw

7) I know stylistically Jericho doesn't have "skin" but I personally hc that his clothes aren't effectively his skin, he has a burlap body - and he has "tattoos" in the form of embroidery. It started when he had to stitch up his own cuts and stuff and he just kept it up.

8) Only Yorgrim has any constant sense of cooking in an actual kitchen-like setting. Farryn, Marius, and Briggsy can do journey or on-the-road cooking, but it's never.... great. Lethica burns everything somehow or gets the bright idea to 'experiment', and it's never good - she's fine if she's got clear end goals. Jericho is understandably skittish around fire due to his body and straw, but he is the closest to being able to cook well and do so semi regularly.

9) Virgil is a weird mix of a hater and lowkey overprotective. He does hate being imprisoned, but also he's kinda bound here so he HAS to keep this disaster of a bard safe. He refuses to admit he might have a soft spot. He is Stressed.

10) Farryn doesn't get the appeal of Girls Nights, but Jericho does!!! They join Lethica for some fun relaxation. Briggsy once asked why Jericho was allowed since he's also a dude, and Lethica just responded "he's allowed to be there - on account of him being a scarecrow and not a literal man after all." It's an inside joke which later has to be explained - Jericho is nonbinary but doesn't rightly care about stuff like that.

11) Yorgrim is the group dad, no I will not explain.

12) sometimes after a battle, Lethica and Marius will help stitch up some of Jericho's tears. Farryn may also add in random flowers she finds around because it makes him happy.

13) Briggsy is small but mighty. The only person he has yet to pick up and carry is Yorgrim - he swears that one day that tombstone will be gone and he'll be able to do it. It's all the rock's fault, he's sure of it.

Spoilers under the cut (caught up to present)

OKAY so I am caught up completely and have decided that Canon is not important leave me alone

• Yorgrim did not die - he got wounded heavily but survived.

• Farryn almost got taken but they got to her in time. She is mute for a time due to injuries and trauma - idk if she ever talks again bc we could use more sign language in the world. Maybe it comes and goes, fuck if I know, idk and idc

ONWARDS TO SILLIES

• Lethica strong armed her way into giving Jericho The Talk after he revealed he had no idea what a penis was. Scarecrows cannot blush, but apparently his fiendish glow can ebb and flow and he glows much MUCH brighter when he's embarrassed - she tries so hard not to laugh.

• Adella and Jericho btw are simply besties. His "crush" on her is a friend crush and Phillip just finds it painfully cute. ((Also -> Jericho has mommy issues and Adella always wanted a son/nephew/little brother. Peaceful alignment))

• Dark Mode Marius is a colossal flirt but still a giant dweeb. He's cool and suave until someone flirts back - then he's a mess.

• Briggsy is very happy with his Kannon & makes "shooting my shot" jokes at every and any opportunity

• Yorgrim, with his reward, manages to finally lay many souls tonrest but he still carries the tombstone on journeys - just not constantly now. He still believes he must pay penance, but it's a little easier to share the burden.

• Farryn, with her own reward, has not chosen to activate it yet. Something tells her to wait, to bide her time and remain. She does, however, get a little more at ease with the others. She and Jericho have come to an understanding, too - that being they they are a package deal, no takesies backsies, and they refer to each other as twin, much to the confusion of many, many, many people. WLW and NBLM solidarity.

• Jericho is pining HARD for Marius, but he's absolutely terrified of damaging the friendship so everyone is watching two oblivious dummies look longingly into each other.

• POLYAMORY POLYAMORY POLYAMORY

• Marius grows rather fond of Virgil, and the sentiment is very much NOT reciprocated bc this angry knight vampire is not good enough for his vessel and he's mad about it.

• Yorgrim: I've only had my friends for a few days, but if anything happened to them, I'd kill everyone in Druskenvald and then myself.

• I fully expect for Jericho to somehow befriend an enemy in disguise, not realize, and accidentally fuck up the evil plan with the powers of puns, music and friendship (/j)

• the first time the party sees Jericho presenting more feminine, he's been lended one of Lethica's dresses after his own clothes got torn up and the rest are being washed. Marius has a nosebleed and faints. Briggsy is staring somewhat respectfully. Lethica is trying valiantly not to laugh. Farryn and Yorgrim regret not dying when they had the chance.

• Marius: i cannot have a relationship because I have sworn to follow the duchess of sin

Lillith: whoa hold up, Do Not use me as an excuse to avoid the cutie pie over there. Besides, he has a demon. I'm queen of hell. I can make a small exception.

Marius: shit

• Briggsy Bi Icon: OH if ONLY Jerry here had a DASHING KNIGHT to SAVE THEM from this PERILOUS INCIDENT

Jericho: captain, I'm just getting off of a horse??

Marius: no no Briggsy has a point, no maiden should be unaccompanied or unassisted. Allow me-

Lethica&Farryn: We Know What You Are

• Yorgrim is watching all this inter party flirting and is definitely wondering if he's gonna have to have an aside with everyone about flirting tactics and communication skills. Briggsy is making it worse by enabling everyone.

• Farryn gets some sweet, succulent healing, that is all.

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

found you - ch. 5 (part III)

pairing: gojo satoru x female oc (ara natsuna)

tropes: psycho! rival! athlete! yandere! gojo x introvert! booksmart! sheltered! rbf! oc

warnings: 18+ only babes, stalking/possessive themes, profanity, coercion, pet names (kitten), gaslighting, manipulation, underage drinking, praising, unprotected & protected sex, rough sex, mentions of suicide & depression, toxic jealousy, begging, chokehold, fingering, squirting, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, w33d, mentions of hard drugs (ecstasy, cocaine)

word count/plot: [15.5k!] ara catches gojo's attention when news breaks that she is the top academically ranked student in their grade. he is ranked second. he tries to befriend her but she ignores him. despite her obvious disinterest, his obsession begins...

a/n: ok this part took me forever to write bc i lowkey suck ass at writing backstories. hopefully ya'll r able to understand what i wrote for that part (you'll see what i mean once u read it). also i skim editted this chapter so if some of it is in lowercase, don't blame me. i actually prefer to type in lowercase but since i started writing this fic with correct capitalization i wanted to be consistent w that. anyway, have fun reading. i'm so excited to read ur guy's comments hehe

ch. 1 , ch. 2 [ part 1 | part 2 ] , ch. 3 , ch. 4 , chapter 5 [ part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 ]

Ara pulled the blanket up to Millie’s shoulders. She was passed out, like most of her classmates once they brought the party inside the penthouse suite of the hotel. It was nearly 5 am so she couldn’t blame them.

“Psst.”

Ara glanced over to see Gojo walking her way, a drink in hand. She knew he didn’t drink so..

“If that drink is for me then you can put it away.”

He grinned, “Nah it’s water.”

“Oh,” she took it from him and then took a sip, only to spit it out, “That’s vodka!”

“Eheheh,” She shoved him as he sat down on the couch beside her. He motioned towards Millie, “She’s out?”

Ara nodded, “She drank enough for everyone combined.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.”

Ara squinted, “You don’t even drink.”

“Shhh,” he slipped his hand into hers, “Can I steal you now?”

“For what?”

“I have to show you something.”

She was silent for a moment, “It’s too early for a prank.”

He grinned brightly, “It’s not a prank. I promise.”

She let him take her by the hand and lead the way. As they walked through, she spotted Choso laying down passed out a bean bag and Geto asleep on the couch across from him, his leg hanging off the edge.

Gojo led her to one of the rooms, opening the door a bit carefully to peek inside and make sure it was the right one before pushing the door wide open for her. He motioned with his chin for her to go in, a little smirk on his face.

She entered to see balloons covering nearly every square inch of the floor, making the bed almost look like an island. The lit candles made the vast, modern room smell of comforting vanilla, maybe a hint of strawberry as well. The glass windows were wide open, revealing a sickening view of their beautiful city.

She was astonished, “Gojo..” she was about to turn around to face him but suddenly a hand rested on back, urging her forward.

“Keep going.”

She complied with his gentle pushes towards the bed, pushing aside balloons as they went. That was when she spotted the rather big box on the flower petal covered bed. The box was perfectly wrapped in glossy white wrapping paper with a pastel purple bow at the center.

She sat down on the bed, her eyes widening as she took in the box’s size.

He spoke quietly, “Open it.”

She glanced up at him, “Toru, what did you do..”

 “Just open it, open it.” he urged.

She noticed his barely contained excitement and shook her head subtly. He’d already given her so much, much more than she could ever ask for and yet here he was. Giving her a gift, as if he didn’t give her several on the daily.

He plopped down on the bed across from her, resting his head on his arm as he eagerly watched her pick up the box.

She ripped open the neat wrapping only to gape when she saw the orange box underneath. Thin black ribbon was tied around the box as well, but she’d be a fool to miss the ‘Hermes’ logo printed at the center.

“Gojo, what—“ she sputtered, at a loss for words, “You.. oh my god.”

His barely contained smirk broke out into a full grin. He continued to urge her, “Keep opening it.” He was almost tempted to open it for her at the pace she was going.

Once she got the wrapper fully off, he easily pulled the ribbon loose for her. Watching with a smile as she opened the box. 

Inside was her very first Birkin. It was mainly off-white, with an ombré effect of light brown at its edges. The crocodile pattern was unmistakable. The shiny, white-gold diamond latch glittered iridescently under the dim light. 

She was in awe.

He cupped her elbow, thumb gliding over her forearm gently, “Happy birthday, kitten.”

She set the box down, too shocked to even touch the bag itself. This was unlike any of the Birkin’s she’d ever seen—even though she’d only seen them in videos and in Shoko’s mother’s closet but still. Its grandeur was obvious and the diamonds-real diamonds on a bag? she couldn’t even comprehend it.

“Satoru… how? Why?” It seemed English wasn’t coming to her very easily, “How much was this?”

His hand slid up her elbow to her nape. He sat up to kiss her neck. His lips on her throat made her heartbeat scatter.

“Nothing compared to you.”

“Toru,” she backed away slightly, “This isn't smart. I don’t even wear bags that much-“

“Now you will.”

She met his gaze, only for her pounding heartbeat to quicken. He was looking at her with so much adoration, maybe a hint of lust but most of all, his gaze was filled with..

She glanced away, murmuring, “This is too much.”

He always did this. Gifting her the most expensive things so easily. It never failed to make her uncomfortable at first, making her feel like he was trying to compensate her for her affection only until she realized he truly liked it—giving her things. His love language was gifts.

His fingers caressed her hair for a moment before he let go of her nape.

“Open the purse.”

Her eyes widened, “What?” 

He didn’t respond, merely pushing the box towards her.

When she didn’t move he took her hand and placed it over the Birkin’s diamond latch, expectantly waiting for her to open it.

She opened the latch hesitantly, her fingertips gliding over the bag's rigid yet wearable material before slipping her hand within. She immediately felt something.

She withdrew her hand to see a small velvet box in her palm. She opened the box to reveal a beautiful petite white-gold diamond ring. It had a twisted over pattern, with diamonds embedded in each twist. She nearly gasped.

He suddenly reached within the collar of his shirt and shuffled out a thin silver chain around his neck. At the end of the chain was a ring made of the same material as hers, shaped more like a band.

His face was flushed.

“This ring is my promise to you.” His bright blue eyes met hers and he looked serious-for once.

She noticed his adam’s apple bob in his neck.

“I promise to keep you the happiest girl in the world. I promise to give you every piece of me and more,” The corner of his lip lifted subtly, “I promise to burn down the world for you, if that’s what you want-“

She chuckled airily, shaking her head.

He took her hand, “Listen to me, I know I haven’t always been the best man but I can’t live without you, you hear? I can’t live without you.”

His eyes dropped to her hand in his, his brows furrowing,  “When you broke up with me I hated it. I hated being away from you..” 

“I never stopped thinking about you, you know,” he scanned her face, “You're right in front me and I still can’t.”

She couldn’t hold his gaze.

“I love you, Ara.” he said softly.

His thumb ran over her ring finger, “You’re getting a promise ring now but there’s gonna be an engagement ring here one day. You’re gonna be my wife.” he spoke so definitively, as if it were already fated.

She let out a small, awkward laugh, “Your seriously talking about marria-”

“I am serious.”

“You sure?” her voice was low, tantalizing, “Shoko told me you don’t believe in monogamy.”

He chuckled, “I do now.”

“Why?”

“I found you.”

She stared at him as he slid the ring onto her finger, his hand lingering over hers before he returned her stare.

The next thing he knew she was crawling into his lap, drawing him a hug so tight her narrow arms shook from the strength she was exerting. He smiled. He wound his arms around her just as tight while peppering her temple with kisses. His hand tangled itself in her hair before tugging her head back.

He leaned towards her but she pressed a hand to his chest, stopping him before their lips met.

“You can’t take that back y’know.”

“What?”

Her hands tightened around his collar, completely losing her train of thought when she felt his hard-on brush her ass. 

Her cheeks grew warm, “e-everything you just said.”

“Never.” he panted, suddenly digging his fingers into her ass before flipping her over onto the bed—him atop her. “Never, never, never.”

Her eyes widened when she saw the mirror on the ceiling. She could see everything.. her reflection.. his face in her neck, eagerly leaving love bites.. his muscular shoulders rippling under his shirt as he reached between her legs, spreading them. His fingertips grazed her pussy lips before curling around her thong. He yanked it off.

She jolted, a loud gasp leaving her lips.

His face came before her, the ring on his thin chain dangling between them, “you’re mine ara, forever.”

She threw her head back, her head resting on his shoulder while his face dug into the crook of her nape, his lips territorially marking her neck.

His cock pistoned in and out underneath her, his hips smacking into her ass as she sat completely naked over his lap. She was making the most obscene noises, she couldn’t help it. The hand of his that wasn’t gripping her hip was right above her cunt, his fingers working her clit.

“fuckk—toru! toru!!hnnn~” her body arched.

His fingers dug into her hip, his cock slamming into her harder. his finger playing with her clit at a dizzying pressure.

“you feelso fucking good, birthday girl.” he rasped out.

She whined.

He watched her writhe atop of him, her head bouncing on his shoulder with each forceful fuck. her hair jumped with each thrust of his hips, the dark strands splayed out over his chest, shoulder and neck. her mouth was wide open. her tits swinging up and down hypnotically.

The tear stained black mascara trailing down her cheeks made his cock jerk with more stamina. he bit her narrow shoulder.

She yanked at his fluffy white hair, “TORU!!”

“cum ara, cum right fucking now.”

She shook her head wildly. “satoru..please, i can’t-f-fuck.”

His cock hammered into her, she could barely breathe. everything hurt. she swore she could feel his cock head swell within her. his cock was so hard.

She gasped out between fucks, “hnn—can’t, toru. can’t. so big. too big.”

“i know i’m big baby. but your cunny can take it, i know she can.”

She tried to push away his hand at her clit, “i can’t,” she cried, “t’much—“

His hand remained fixed over her navel, instead his fingers picked up the pace. his cock grinding into her cervix, making her cunt let out the most embarrassingly wet sounds she’d ever heard.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, “ohhhhhnnnnm~”

Her body burned with pleasure. his cock felt obscenely hot inside her as she felt herself twitch around him. His cock made her feel so deeply full, she wondered if her cunt had finally been stretched to the limit–if he’d finally broken her.

“Ohmygod-my god-nghhh!”

Her body jerked atop him, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through her. Feeling like this shouldn’t be real–all of this-him-couldn’t be real.  she couldn’t take it.

She moaned weakly. her cunt spraying liquids despite him still being inside her—deliriously grinding his cock deeper into her. His cockhead touching her deepest parts.

“Araaaaa~” he sighed brokenly into her ear. She felt like heaven.

Her eyes flitted open as her jerking subsided. She caught sight of herself in the mirror above and froze. The sight caused a cold jolt up her spine.

She looked so… hot. trails of her mascara and liner marked the corner of her eyes. her body was covered in hickeys, including one on her chin. several on her cleavage and tits. Her nipples were surrounded by teeth marks.

His white hair tickled her cheek as he shifted slightly, his cock still inside her. His hot breath traveled down her neck, making her skin tingle. she couldn’t help but notice how large his muscular thighs looked underneath her smooth ones.

Her body jerked once more, an aftermath of her high.

“Good girl.” he praised, giving her clit a small squeeze–making her entire body twitch. She whined as he laughed, his fingers continuing to explore her. He touched the wetness along her pussy lips.

She heard his breath hitch beside her ear, “This pussy is gonna be the death of me.”

Her cunt constricted around his cock and he growled. his fingers suddenly digging deep into her hips, making her yelp.

She tried to grab his wrists and pry his hands off but it was too late.

His cock plunged into her ruthlessly.

She felt his hot, white cum spill into her. spurting along her cramped walls. she felt it travel and dribble out of her cunt, spilling down her inner thighs.

his cum was so warm.

She squeezed her thighs together, which only drew out more cum from his cockhead. she shivered, a low whine leaving her.

“Happy birthday.” he whispered above her.

Her eyes flashed opened only to close a millisecond after when his hips bucked into her again, slowly and deep. fucking his seed back into her.

He hummed as she mewled meekly underneath him. his shoulders flexed.

“You're not even someone i should go to for this.”

“What—why?”

“Cuz you drive hella fast.”

He snapped her seat belt in place for her, “listen, I’m still a good teacher.”

“Are you?”

“I am.”

“How?”

“I just am.”

She narrowed her eyes, “Love the confidence but seriously, why can’t you just let me have a driving instructor?”

“Cuz i want to teach you, kitten. Isn’t it gonna be so cute when you tell our kids one day-“ he mockingly began to use a kid voice, “ ‘mommy how did you learn how to drive? ‘your daddy taught me—“

She punched him in the shoulder, making him yelp. He immediately cradled his arm, groaning as if she’d brutalized him.

“Can you stop being a dumbass?” she gripped the steering wheel, “Tell me what to do.”

“Get in the back seat.”

Her glare was fierce as he quickly amended, “Okay, okay, pull out this parking spot.”

“Okay.” she pressed the gas pedal only for the car to make a loud ‘vroooom’ sound but not move.

“It’s not moving.” she stated.

He was laughing, “Because you didn’t change the gear.”

“You didn’t tell me that!”

The maid opened the door for them and they walked through. Gojo’s laughter filling the lobby.

He shook his arm around Geto’s shoulders, “Suguruuu, don’t be jealous.”

Geto shouldered him off, “I’m not jealous.”

Ara walked in after them, eyes glued to her phone.

The maid faced them, “Gojo sir, I must inform you your Dad is here. He’s currently in the gardens.”

Gojo’s grin immediately faltered, “He is?”

The maid nodded.

His voice deadpanned, “When did he come?”

“Less than an hour ago, sir.”

“Hmm,” he nodded subtly, “Thanks Macy.”

Macy merely nodded before excusing herself. Ara caught Geto’s tense expression.

Gojo spoke first, “You guys can chill in my room. I shouldn’t be long.”

She stepped up to Gojo, “What’s wrong?”

A small smile found its way to the corner of his lip, “Nothings wrong,” his hand slipped up the side of her face, “Just wasn’t expecting him that’s all.”

She searched his face, “Are you gonna be alright?”

His smile widened, “I’ll be perfect, baby.”

She stared out the window of Gojo’s study. Her hand tightening around the circular windowsill as her eyes raked the expanse of the well kept greenery before deciding it was useless. Wherever they were they weren’t visible from her vantage point.

She was drawn from thoughts when a loud ‘thunk’ resounded from somewhere behind her.

She turned to see Geto with a book at his feet. He bent over to retrieve it, “Oops.”

She waited a brief moment, watching as he dusted off the cover before flipping it open-skimming the pages.

“Geto.”

He immediately glanced up, his eyes a silent ‘yes?’

“Is his Dad bad?”

He glanced sideways for a moment before asking, “Satoru hasn’t mentioned him?” The question wasn’t mocking, merely inquiring with a calmness that felt almost reassuring.

There was a beat of silence, “No.”

He shut the book in his hand, a light sigh escaping him, “I don’t like him, if that’s what you wanna know. You should let Satoru tell you the whole story though.”

“There’s a story?”

He smiled slightly, “Isn’t there always?”

The bedroom doors swung open, immediately making Ara’s head snap up from the book in her lap. She sat up on the bed just as Gojo entered. If he’d been stressed it was hard to tell because the second his eyes landed on her a wide grin swept across his lips.

He crawled onto the bed, easily crowding her space to kiss her neck before laying his head on her lap.

“Satoru.” She rested her hand on forehead, pushing his hair back, “How was it?”

He sighed, eyes flitting closed, “It was fine. He left—thank god.”

“You don’t like him?”

His eyes fluttered open, examining her. He rarely talked about his family and she wasn’t slow enough to believe that was just a coincidence.

He shook his head. His index finger twirling around a strand of her hair, “He wanted to see you.”

“He knows about me?” she asked, shocked.

His hand went still within her hair, “Everyone knows about you.”

She held his gaze for a moment, “So why didn’t you let him see me?”

She saw the corner of his mouth twitch, “Cuz you don’t like meeting new people.”

“..and?”

“Cuz he doesn’t deserve to yet.” His voice held more of an edge than she expected.

And that look in his eye…she hadn’t seen that on him in a while. It reminded her of when she’d struck him, the first night he had his way with her.

He took her hand from his forehead and slid it down to his cheek, lightly kissing her wrist as he did so.

“Let me explain,” he paused, as if gathering his thoughts–until his brows furrowed and he realized he wasn’t sure where to begin.

He played with her fingers as he spoke, “My Dad has a twin. Identical. But they couldn’t be more different–honestly.” he chuckled quietly.

“How?”

 “I guess my Dad’s more likable–had this quality about him that made people want to listen. While my Uncle.. well, he’s persuasive in his own way.”

He continued, “The point is. They competed with each other a lot-over everything and anything. My Dad thought of their competition as harmless fun but my Unc-not so much. He’ll never admit it though, if you ask him. But everyone knows.”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone in my family,” he clarified, before smirking up at her, “It’s gonna be your family too y’know so pay attention.”

She rolled her eyes, “What do you think I’m doing.”

He smiled slightly, “Anywho, Unc should’ve felt like he won this little competition since he was given full reins of the family business but I guess he still held a grudge. Dunno if it’s cuz Dad’s political success or Dad bein’ Gramps favorite–or Mom but-”

He cut himself off, “Right, so my Mom was actually a bet between Dad and Unc. She was Unc’s college crush and for fun they decided to see who could get with her. Dad won her over and they ended up falling in love. They got married but.. my Mom never got used to it-the politician life.”

He went on, “Dad’s career as the Director of National Intelligence was actually very strategic. It was something my Gramps wanted to get his eyes in on cuz oil refinery is more political than you might think, like there were some countries we weren't permitted to source from due to a bad political climate–even though our company is private. It was something Gramps wanted to work around and possibly manipulate—”

Ara blinked, “Wouldn’t that be illegal?”

“Just a little,” he smirked, “It wasn’t just that though, you’d have to ask Gramps the details–except he’s dead, but anyway~”

Ara’s eyes widened as he nonchalantly went on, “The beef between Dad and Unc really hit the fan a few months after Gramps died–which isn’t surprising cuz Gramps was sorta the mediator but.. I guess, it was inevitable.”

Despite his nonchalance she could tell his next words were harder for him to say, “So basically Unc had a business deal going with Isreal, worth about $2 billion but since-everything going on politically, socially, you name it-Dad did not want to get involved especially monetarily. But Unc didn’t agree, he wanted to juice as much money as he could since the US was sending Israel money anyway and he wanted a piece.”

He continued, “Dad knew he would try to see the deal through with or without his call so he started involving himself in the family business to supervise Unc which he was not happy about, so you can imagine they argued–a lot. At the office, at the house, everywhere. Dad ended up kicking Unc out of the house and threatened to hurt him worse if he came back.”

He sighed, “I didn’t know Dad kicked him out, I wasn’t there for that argument. Instead I was sad that Unc wasn’t coming around anymore cuz we usually hung out a lot. We hung out more than Dad and I did anyway.”

He shook his head, “I didn’t suspect anything when Unc called me to let him in so I did. We talked for a bit, caught up, he gave me a bottle of alcohol to give my Mom. I told him to give it to her himself but he said he wanted it to be a surprise for her and asked me to keep it a secret that he came by.”

She saw something flicker in his expression as he went on, he stopped playing with her fingers.

“Mom wasn’t in a great mental state–she never was, to be honest, not after marrying Dad. She hated the fame, paparazzi, everything that came with it but she tolerated it because she loved Dad. I-” Gojo never stuttered, “I didn’t know that she was an alcoholic because she hid it from me so well. She always acted happy when she was with me. She never wanted me to see her.. down. I didn’t know Unc and Dad helped her through the alcoholism and depression cuz I didn’t even know it was an issue.”

His voice was tight but he quickly recovered, “So I left the bottle on her vanity, just like he asked and she drank it all, breaking her sobriety of six months. Dad found her drunk and they started fighting–I didn’t realize they were arguing about her sobriety, I just thought he was mad she drank in general so I tried to intervene but Mom left the room once I got there. Dad and I ended up arguing but nothing came of it cuz he basically told me to shut the fuck up and get out of his face.”

His bright blue eyes were somewhat dull as he glanced up at her, “I should tell you my Dad isn’t usually an asshole but when he’s mad he’s a different person. Everything ticks him off. He was.. in this mood for a while and Mom breaking her sobriety didn’t help. She started drinking a lot again and they were just yelling all the time. No one would tell me what was going on, Mom was pushing me away and I blamed Dad for it. It felt like he was mad at everyone for no reason and I wanted him to stop.”

He exhaled, “Unc came by again and I told him everything-about Mom and Dad fighting.. how it was.. getting to me. Unc asked me why they were fighting and I told him I didn’t know. Unc then asked me if Dad was hitting Mom and I realized I wasn’t sure. But the theory made sense because why else would Mom avoid me? She probably didn’t want me to see her bruises or marks and explain that Dad did them.”

“Obviously this theory made 10 year old me extremely upset so Unc’s solution was to give me his gun. He told me the next time I overheard Mom and Dad fighting to wave it around to scare Dad off-”

Ara’s eyes widened, “What–he gave a gun to a kid? What type of solution is that?”

A low, dry laugh left him, “At the time it made sense to me cuz Unc and I used to go hunting together and all that but he also told me Dad kicked him out the estate so I kinda did want to scare him some way cuz he really felt like public enemy 1. It felt like he was tearing the family apart.”

He ran a hand through his hair, “That night…when I was in bed I heard Mom scream–and a shit ton of thrashing. I didn’t think, I grabbed the gun and ran. I saw Dad on top of somebody, throwing punches and I-I didn’t–” he spoke through gritted teeth before exhaling, “I didn’t mean to hit him.”

Her eyebrows skyrocketed, “You shot your Dad?”

“I did. Straight through the head.”

Ara’s jaw dropped, “But wait-but your Dad.. he’s still ali-”

He squeezed her hand, “Listen, listen. I thought he was on top of Mom, beating her but it turns out he was on top of my Uncle. Mom was just in the room, yelling at him to stop because I guess my Uncle just showed up uninvited.”

He stared at her, fingers tightening around hers, “My Dad died that night. I didn’t know what the hell to do. I was freaking out but Unc came up with a plan.”

He closed his eyes, “Unc said he would take the blame. He told us to tell the cops that he snuck into the estate-which he did-and that he tried to hurt Dad but then Dad shot him. Except he would pretend that he was Dad. And that the man who died was Unc.”

She was astounded, “So… your Uncle pretended to be your Dad?”

He nodded, “Yes, and he still is. The world currently thinks my Dad is alive.”

Ara was speechless as he continued, “No one else knows because Unc and Dad are identical twins. Same blood type and-miraculously-same fingerprints, etc.”

She blinked as he sat up beside her, not letting go of her hand.

He looked at her expression with a small knowing smile, “I know you have questions.”

She glanced over at him, “Why did he do that? Did he not want you to face any repercussions?”

He nodded, “I thought he was protecting me but now I know he schemed it all. He manipulated me.”

Ara’s eyes widened, “How do you know?”

“He knew about my mom’s alcoholism and told me to give her a bottle. He sneaks into the estate and causes drama the same night he gives me a gun? A gun with the safety off?” He shakes his head, “It's not a coincidence at all.”

“If he wanted to kill your Dad, why couldn’t he just kill him himself?”

“That would’ve got him nowhere but jail. But making me do it gives him all the leverage. Pretending to be Dad to protect me gives him everything he wants. My mom, Dad’s position-his connections, the family business—all in his lap.”

He laughed dryly to himself, “Well the only thing he didn’t get for long was Mom. She killed herself.”

“What?!” she exclaimed in shock.

“It was two weeks after Dad died. Found her body in the pond by the gardens. She overdosed on prozac.”

“Prozac?” Ara gasped, “the antidepressant?”

He nodded, a small sad smile spreading across his lips, “Ironic isn’t it.”

She was silent for the longest moment, processing it all. She almost couldn’t believe it was real. It felt like the plot of some really dark CEO drama but this was reality. His reality—his life. He’d only been 10 years old. A ten year old murderer.

“I wanted to believe Unc had something to do with her death.. but I know he would never hurt her. He loved her.. She left me on her own.”

Her eyes widened. This was the saddest she’d ever seen him. His eyes glossier than normal, his jaw clenched tight and yet his lips were twisted in a bitter smile.

“I would’ve done anything she asked. We could’ve taken Unc down together but she left me.”

She squeezed his hand, “Toru-“ she murmured.

“Isn’t it funny? I feel like I found out more about her after she died. All her thoughts were in her diary, everything. If she’d just told me when she was alive-I could’ve—“ he shook his head, a shiny tear slipped down his cheek, “I don’t kn-I-“

“Stop.” she pulled him into her chest, “Stop.”

He sagged into her smaller frame, clutching her waist so tight she nearly lost her breath. For the first time in her life, she felt him trembling.

Her small fingers raked through his hair, “You were just a kid. How were you supposed to know everything she was going through? She probably didn’t tell you because she wanted to protect you.”

His arms wrapped around her tighter, “She could’ve protected me by staying alive.”

Her hand went still in his hair, “Don’t you know already, adults are selfish.”

She then realized that maybe that wasn’t the most constructive thing to say.

“I’m sorry, I meant-“

“No, you're right.” his voice was muffled in her sweater, “They are selfish. Everyone is. You have to be in this world.”

He laughed softly to himself, “Eat or be eaten.”

She shook her head, clutching his chin to make him look up, “I don’t know about all that but you have to know that her.. doing that isn’t your fault-“

“Doing what? Killing herself?”

Ara’s mouth opened partially before closing. Then opening again, “Yes.”

He smiled faintly, “You can say it y’know. She killed he-“

She flinched-snapping, “Stop, it’s not a joke.” her hands tightened around his face, “what i-i’m saying is that it’s not your fault. It was her choice. She knew the consequences. You don’t have to agree with her but you have to respect it.”

She cupped his face more gently, “It doesn’t make you any less of a person, it’s what you do now that counts. She’s still watching over you.”

His gaze seemed distant, “She’ll get her justice.”

Ara blinked, “Justice?”

His eyes suddenly sharpened, “My uncle. I still need him. I don’t know how to run the business myself yet.”

Her eyes widened, “What—y-you don’t mean kill him, right?”

Suddenly a wicked grin appeared upon his lips. He leaned close, his lips brushing over hers, “Some things are worse than death, kitten.”

She gently rubbed the face mask across her cheeks. It was a yummy baby pink color and smelled rather delicious. roses and vanilla. it already made her skin feel cool with one application.

She used the little tool it came with to scoop more product and apply it to her forehead only to flinch when she saw Gojo in the bathroom. he stood with his back to the door, arms crossed. a crooked smile on his lips.

“Hey kitten~”

She shook her head, “I hate you.”

He grinned, making his way towards her, “You love mee.”

He stood behind her, his hands interlaced behind himself. He bent down to kiss her on the head but she moved out of his way.

“Why do you like scaring me?” she grumbled, rubbing in her face mask with a bit more ferocity.

“heh. it’s not my fault you're as unaware as a baby chick.” He held her shoulders and kissed her temple-where her face mask hadn’t been applied yet.

She shoved him off, “toru! my face mask.”

It seemed a bit of the mask had landed on the tip of his nose. he wiped it away with his thumb, looking at it curiously, “mmm, smells yummy.”

She raised a brow as he continued to stare at the blob on his finger and gripped his wrist the second he brought his finger towards his lips.

“Are you stupid? it’s not edible.”

She grabbed a nearby hand towel and hastily wiped it off his finger before tossing the towel somewhere on the counter.

He watched silently as she continued applying the face mask on her face. His eyes glowing with curiosity.

“What’s it supposed to do?”

“Make you poreless.”

He picked up the face mask jar to read the description just as she’d been reaching for some more. She sucked her teeth impatiently.

He slid the jar back to her. He blinked innocently, “Can i use some?”

“No.”

“Whyyyy~”

“Cuz you're already poreless.”

That made him grin. He touched the sides of his face as he leaned towards the mirror, “Am i?”

She rolled her eyes. It was too early for his buffoonery. This was supposed to be a self-care sunday. emphasis on self. And she’d told him that, yet here he was.

He leaned against the bathroom counter, facing her with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “If you wanted a face mask you could’ve jus asked me.”

Her brows furrowed-confused-only to freeze when she realized. she grimaced, “You're nasty as hell.”

“oh come on~”

She shoved him as he neared her, “Stop. You're actually annoying me.”

“Araaaa~”

“Stop.”

“Okay, okay fine. I’ll stop. I promise.”

“Promise what.”

“Not to annoy you.”

“Then why are you coming closer to me?”

He tugged her close, resting his chin atop her head. Her small frame easily fitting into his chest.

“Because i wanna be near you ‘kay?”

He kissed the corner of her neck, his hands gently squeezing her shoulders. She sighed.

He stared at her in the mirror as she continued to finish up the last of the face mask. He ran his hands up and down her arms repeatedly. the action oddly reassuring.

He kissed the top of her head, “Last night was fun right?” he muttered into her hair.

She blushed at the memory, “y-yeah.”

There were two things she found out last night. 1, Haibara knew how to throw a party. 2, never play hide and seek with Gojo. He’d pick the best hiding spot and no one would find you both. leaving you open to your demise at his hands.

Ara couldn’t walk after.

He smirked slightly, “What was your favorite part?”

She thought it over, “hmm probably when Geto shot all those bottles in a row. I didn’t think his aim was that good. oh! and that drink Shoko made, um, what’s it called-“

“Espresso martini.”

“Yes! That was soo good.”

his smirk widened as he nuzzled her head, “You drank a lot of green tea shots too.”

She nodded.

He kissed the crown of her head, “You look so good knocking shots back.”

She reddened, mumbling, “Shut up.”

He squeezed her shoulders once more, “Aren’t you gonna ask me my favorite part?”

She reddened more, “No.”

His arms slipped around her shoulders, squeezing her into him, “Pleaseeee~~~”

“Ah! toru! let go-“

He hugged her tighter.

“aHh! i can’t breathe. fine, fine!”

“Yay.” he loosened his hold on her and she smacked his arm.

“You promised not to annoy me.”

“Oopsies,” he grinned while staring at her ass as she bent down to pick up her fallen hair brush.

When she stood up, he placed his hands on her hips. pressing his groin right against her ass. She gasped, freezing the second she felt his erection.

He nipped at her ear, “My favorite part was holding your hips, just like this,” his fingers squeezed her hips, “and watching your ass bounce on my cock in that tiny little closet. Hearing your cute lil whimpers cuz you wanna keep quiet so bad. always so scared of getting caught-“

She faltered forward, her hands flat against the bathroom counter as he began to thrust his hard-on into her. as if his jeans and her towel weren’t in the way.

He nipped at her nape, leaving love bites along her soft skin. as if it wasn’t decorated enough.

“Your pussy gets wet so fast, kitten. everytime i fuck you your pussy makes such slutty sounds. mm-“

She gasped when the tip of his clothed cock rubbed against her bare pussy. It seemed he discovered that she wasn’t wearing anything under her towel. She saw his bright blue eyes go wide in the mirror's reflection before a devious smirk spread across his lips.

Just as she felt his hands tighten over her towel-a millisecond from ripping it off. She shoved him back.

“No!” she held her towel tightly to her chest, “Toru, please. we barely slept all night. I can’t—i can’t go another round.” she begged desperately.

“Aww~” he whined, before slipping his arms around her. Her hands on his chest weakly pushing him back. “Come on.”

“I’m gonna pass out.”

“You won’t.”

“Toru, seriously.” she looked up at him, “How can you even want to get freaky when i have this on my face.”

“You think a little face mask could stop my dick from getting hard?”

His eyes dropped to her lips, “If anything it jus makes me harder.”

Her eyes narrowed.

He pouted, “Next time you want a face mask just ask me ‘kay?”

She shoved him-successfully getting out of his hold this time, “Not happening.”

She began to clear up the bathroom counter, putting her skincare where it belonged. She glanced at him in the mirror’s reflection. she watched him tug at the belt of his pants, adjusting himself.

“C’monnn, mine probably has more natural benefits anyway.”

She looked at him incredulously, “Oh yeah? And what natural benefits would there be?”

He grinned, “my face mask is edible.”

She rolled her eyes, continuing to put stuff away, “Stop talking.”

He leant behind her, speaking in her ear, “Don’t act like you don’t like the taste. You always lick it up like your hungry-“

“Only because you feed it to me.” she spat.

She met his gaze in the reflection. fear immediately blooming in her gut the second she saw the fire in his eyes. 

Before he could move she darted around him, running straight out the bathroom. The second he moved to chase her, the bathroom door slammed shut in his face. He heard it lock from the outside.

“Ara!!” he whined, pushing at the door, “Ara!!”

“Ara.”

“Hm.” she barely looked up from her laptop. She was surprisingly focused for being outdoors. She wasn’t usually the type to study that well outside but something about the calm, breezy air of the estate’s gardens seemed to offer her enough solace to study.

He’d also been studying too but-of course-he finished whatever he had to do before her.

“Why’d you get a new phone?”

She froze, finally glancing up from her macbook to look at him. He was sitting on the fountain’s edge, with a loose black long sleeve and matching pants on.

He took off his sunglasses, letting the sunlight hit his eyes in a way that truly made them seem crystalline. He appeared apathetic but she knew he wouldn’t have asked if he wasn’t curious. She was just surprised he’d noticed that out of all of her purchases. She hadn’t even shown him the new phone yet. but of course, she wasn't naive enough to believe any of her purchases were unsupervised. whether he was there or not.

He raised a brow at her silence.

“Oh-um-well. I wanted to give it to my dad.”

“Oh!” he then paused before tilting his head, “And how do you plan on giving it to him?”

“I… i haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

She’d just made the purchase yesterday.

“I can have Ijichi drop it off to his mailb-“

“No, no. It’s okay. I want to give it to him when I’m ready. or I’ll just keep it as a business phone.”

He grinned before singing, “i got two phones one for the plug and one for the load, i got two phones one for the bit—“ (a/n: he's singing 2 phones by kevin gates)

She shook her head, face-palming herself, “Please shut up.”

He threw his arms around her, squeezing her oh so tight before dropping his bags and hoisting her legs around his waist. He supported her with one arm around her ass before beaming up at her.

“We won the game! We won—“

She cupped his face, pressing a short kiss to his lips, “I’m proud of you baby.”

She saw a light flush crawl across his cheeks. His brilliant eyes searching her face, “Yeah?”

She felt his arm tighten around her bum. “Should we celebrate?” he asked, “Let’s travel somewhere, out of the countr-“

“No.”

“-try. Any country. You haven’t been out of America yet right? Let’s-“

“No, Toru, stop.”

He pouted, “C’monn. Don’t be lame. You don’t wanna travel with me?”

“I never said that.”

“Then why?”

“You want to celebrate your High School basketball game win by going out of the country?” she smacked his forehead with her palm, “We have school tomorrow idiot.”

“So? We’ll tell em it was an educational leave.”

“Educational leave?”

“Yeah..” his eyes dropped to her shapely tits in her school uniform, “for anatomy or something.”

She shoved his shoulder, “Yeah, I never want to travel with you.”

“What?!”

“Put me down.”

As she twisted in his hold, her tits inadvertently got in his face and he immediately opened his mouth to playfully bite one of them. She shoved his face back.

“Put me down!”

Geto sighed, shaking his head from behind them, “I hate third wheeling.”

Ara twisted in the sheets. Her eyelids squinting together as she tried to sleep but sleep wasn’t coming to her. It just wasn’t.

She threw the blanket off frustratedly. She adjusted her pillow before lying back against the headboard, half-sitting. She reached out to grab her phone from the nightstand only to frown when she realized the time.

1:07 am

She glanced at the empty spot in bed beside her. She was silent for a long moment before glancing back at her phone to see that she didn’t have any new text messages.

He should’ve been back by now.

She opened youtube on her phone. trying to distract herself.

1:43 am

She opened netflix on her phone. an episode of gossip girl might be fun.

2:35 am

She closed out of netflix, unable to ignore her frustration. She opened her phone app. Her thumb hovering over his contact name.

Suddenly the bedroom door opened, making her jolt.

Gojo entered the barely lit room, immediately shuffling out of his jacket and tossing it onto the couch before making his way towards the bed. She watched him shake his head, droplets of water spraying here and there as if he’d just showered.

He silently removed his phone and wallet from his pocket, quietly setting it down on the nightstand before his striking eyes met hers. his face brightened.

“Oh you're up?”

“Where were you.”

He blinked at the seriousness of her tone.

“Where were you?”

A slow grin spread across his lips, “You worried about me?”

She sat up, “I said, where were you?”

“I was at Geto’s, kitten. I told you I’d be there.”

“Why are you wet?”

He sat down on the bed, “I was in his pool for a bit.” 

He crawled towards her, she leaned back into the headboard.

“Then why do you smell like soap?”

“I showered after. I hate smelling like pool water.”

He leaned over to kiss her on the neck but she stopped him by pressing a hand to his shoulder.

She glared, “You smell like perfume.”

He blinked, “What?”

Her glare intensified, shoving him back.

“Wait-kitten,” he let out a small chuckle, “I don’t smell like perfume.”

“Don’t gaslight me.” she snapped.

His eyes widened at her tone but there was mischief in his gaze, “I’m not.”

“Smell your fucking shirt.”

He held up a corner of his shirt and smelt it. A smile broke out across his face, “Its Shoko’s. She hugged me before I left.”

Just as an insult nearly left her lips, she paused. He was right. She recognized that perfume–it was shoko’s signature scent.

Her face reddened, “So you can hug girls but I can’t hug guys?”

A sly smirk lit his lips before he crawled on the bed towards her. He grabbed her leg, dragging her underneath him.

“Jealously looks so fucking sexy on you,” his eyes raked her up and down, making her feel devoured simply by that action. he pulled at the thin strap of her nightgown, “especially in this—“

She slapped his hand away, “don’t touch me.”

His hand slipped around her throat, “You think i fucked another girl, hm? Think I fucked her nice and hard and showered at her place?”

She felt her heartbeat fasten, her pulse throbbing in his firm grip. He bent lower above her. the tips of his damp hair scraping her forehead.

“You think another girl can take me like you do? Think another girl’s pussy can wrap around me so tight that I think my dick’s gonna get stuck inside you? Think another pussy could squirt back to back like it’s begging to be creamed?”

She turned away, but his hand on her throat tightened. His thumb and index finger rested on her jaw and forced her to look up at him.

“No, Ara. No is the answer.”

He released her neck, sliding his hand down the front of her body. When she writhed, his other hand gripped the hair at the crown of her head in a fist. She gasped.

He cupped her pussy through the thin nightgown. She cried out. He gripped her cunt so tight, she didn’t understand how the entirety of his hand managed to cup it all.

“This is the only pussy i want.”

He yanked her nightgown up to her hips, easily slipping his hand into her underwear. His thumb found her clit and she jerked.

“Toru-!” she mewled.

He began to rub her clit in vigorous circles, “This is the only pussy that drives me insane. Only cunt i wanna ram into again n again, I can nut in you every single second of my life and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

She let out a strangled moan, her back arching as his pace slowed around her clit. He gently pressed the hard nub at a painstakingly slow pace, sending electric currents through her body.

She gasped with each press.

“Look at you, Ara, look at you.” his long white eyelashes fluttered as he looked down at her, a light pink flush across his cheeks.

Her eyes were squinted shut. a yummy pinkish red color on her cheeks. her nightgown was practically see through. She must’ve known because she wore a cloth bra-that barely contained her tits-and matching underwear. He remembered picking that nightgown.

She looked so fucking delicious.

“You don’t even know how sweet your pussy tastes. It can make a sane man mad. It made me mad.”

His fingers gradually picked up the pace over her clit—knowing her weakness. knowing her pleasure.

Her legs trembled. She gripped his shoulders, back arching but he gripped her hair to keep her on the bed.

“torutorutoruTORUUUUUU!!!”

She squirt all over him, her juices flying into the air. wetting his shirt, his jeans, the sheets, everything.

Her body trembled, convulsing as she felt her inner thighs get sticky from her mess. Her pussy throbbing from her release. He always knew how to make her feel so fucking good.

Her eyes fluttered open, breathless, as she looked up at him. He wasn’t smiling but the gleam in his eyes was enough. It was enough to make her feel like nothing but a doll just made for him.

She jerked when she felt his fingers slide into her pussy, feeling up her gummy insides. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders, she was already so sensitive.

"Toru..” she gasped out.

He took his fingers out, watching her juice separate on his fingers as he spread them. He seemed lost, as if entranced.

“This… this makes me insane.”

He stuck both fingers in his mouth, cleanly licking her juices off them in one go before lowering himself to her pussy.

She tried to close her legs, “toru—wait!”

He buried his face between her legs, sucking her clit with the entirety of mouth—suctioning her clit perfectly with his tongue. sucking the resistance right outta her.

Her back arched against the bed as she cried out.

“nghhh!! toru-huuu-nghh” she was already so sensitive down there, god please, what is he doing?

He flicked at her clit with his tongue a few times before doing what he ultimately wanted. he lowered his face, burying his tongue into her wet cunt. She was a sopping wet mess down there. one that he couldn’t wait to fuck the sense into.

His tongue slid in and out of her, making her body jerk and tremble with her moans. She grabbed his hair, she couldn’t take it. something about his tongue always felt so fucking different—so fucking good.

She was throwing her head side to side, “toru! toru!! please, please!! enough!!”

He was licking her pussy like a madman. drinking her fucking juice straight from her cunt like he’d been thirsting for it all his life. She couldn’t deal with this. it was too much. 

Her legs shook as his tongue fucked into her, as if trying to taste all of her, all the way to inside of her soul.

She glanced down between her legs. at her hand in his soft white hair, at his eyes—glued to her pussy as if lost in a trance until suddenly, his eyes flickered upto her.

He lightly bit her clit.

She erupted. Her head flung back and her hands gripped his hair so tightly, refusing to let him go anywhere else. pleasure burst through her like a bomb had been ripped inside her body. she couldn’t breathe.

It didn’t help that he was licking up everything that poured out of her at lightspeed. as if he couldn’t let a drop go to waste. as if he had to drink it all to survive. she was already so sensitive now, this was too much—

she gathered as much strength as she could-despite feeling so weak-and managed to push his head back.

“stop, toru. stop.” she spoke in between gasps. she was dizzy from pleasure.

he finally sat up, in between her legs. the lower half of his face wet from her juices. he licked his lips before letting his tongue sweep around his mouth. he then wiped the lower half of his face with his hand, gathering her remaining wetness with it before licking it off his palm.

He didn’t break eye contact with her once. she shivered.

He grabbed the hem of his shirt, easily tossing it off before spreading her legs. She shivered once more, her legs looked so small compared to his large hands on her thighs. compared to his broad shoulders that he was lifting her legs on top of.

His hair was a mess from her fingers and that look in his eyes was anything but innocent. it was depraved.

“You still think i wanna cheat on you?” he asked, his voice cold.

She flinched when she felt his cock head touch her pussy lips.

“C-condom, toru,” she rasped out, her voice barely audible, “Condom.”

He hissed, as if annoyed that she remembered. or maybe at the fact that she was sane enough to.

He reached towards the nightstand, hastily grabbing a condom and tearing it open. He didn’t waste any time putting it on before spreading her legs once again.

He placed his cock atop her navel, looking in satisfaction as the tip of his cock went an inch past her belly button. He felt her shiver sensitively.

He glanced down at her flushed face, her trembling lips and that look in her eyes. that fear mixed with want. He knew she wanted it, no matter how much she denied it. She had to have. That face is begging for it.

He could feel her juices on his balls when he rested his cock on top of her like this. He couldn’t wait to see his cockhead bulge inside her tummy either.

He grabbed her throat, before slamming his cock into her in one brutal thrust. The weak sound that left her made his cock throb with the need to cum. Her eyes rolled into her head and he was grinning like a lunatic before losing all focus when her pussy squeezed the life out of him.

He glanced down at the little bulge in her tummy. groaning as he felt her delicious tiny walls restricting his cockhead. her walls curling around him as if it could suppress him from moving.

He touched the bulge at her tummy, he groaned as he felt his cock twitch. She suddenly grabbed his hand, “Toru, please—please-don’t be rough.”

He grabbed her wrist and pinned it to bed, fucking into her as mercilessly as he wanted. fuck, her pussy felt so good. so hot. so fucking wet.

She screamed as he spoke into her cheek, “You wouldn’t even know if i fucked another girl would you? You don’t even have my location on, you never asked.”

“nghhh—ngh-ngh!! toru!”

His thrusts were hard, fast and deep.

“You don’t even check my phone as much as i check yours. You barely question me.”

His pace picked up. She screamed. She was going to break.

Her nails dug into his arm, “stop! stop! it hurts—you're gonna break me.”

He gritted his teeth, delivering another round of merciless thrusts before finally slowing down. Her pulse fluttered rapidly in her throat. she could barely think.

“Maybe i should break you.” he whispered against her lips, he thrusted into her once. letting his cock hit her womb. She cried out.

“Maybe that’ll make you care about me.”

He ground the tip of his cock into her, making her wince.

Her neck arched in his hold, “toru…”

“ah,” his cock twitched as he stared down at her, “You sound so sweet.”

His hand tightened around her throat as he fucked another powerful thrust into her. She yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks. She could feel his cock throbbing inside her.

“Maybe i stayed out later on purpose..”

He pulled out slightly, “Maybe I showered so you could get the wrong idea..”

He pulled out a little more,  “Maybe I sprayed shoko’s perfume to see if you even noticed.”

He slammed back into her, making her moan. She scratched at his arm while her other hand struggled against his grip on her wrist.

She shook her head back and forth as he began to deliver short fucks with most of his cock inside her. She felt his tip hit her deepest part inside, making her whimper and shake all over.

Her eyes fluttered opened, staring up at his focused expression, “Toru, please, please-“ her voice broke. she felt so full.

“Please what.” he snapped, his pace picking up, “You never get jealous, Ara, ever. Do you know how insane that makes me?”

His hips smacked into her with each thrust, “I get jealous when you talk to another man—when you stand near another man. Even when you look at another man—haah, I must be crazy.”

He was fucking into her feriously now. Her body shaking from the pressure of his fucks, her body getting buried deeper and deeper into the bed.

She writhed under him, her free hand pulling at his hair, “Toru—please! slow-slow down—nghhhh!”

He let go of her throat to grab her tits. squeezing it hard in his one hand. letting his fingers sink into the entirety of her perky yet soft breast.

He nipped at her throat, “Maybe you know I won’t cheat cuz of how obsessed I am.”

He suddenly squeezed her tit hard making her wince and look down at him. His blue eyes were hazy with lust.

“But i can’t be the only one obsessed.”

She screamed as he fucked her-impossibly-harder. her insides sqlueching with her juices as her cunt tried to keep up with him but in the end she gave out. the last thing she felt was his warm cum spurt inside of her. loads and loads of it, as his cock twitched within her depths.

She sighed at the feeling of her hair being stroked before her eyes opened in a panic.

She was met with Satoru’s big ocean blue eyes staring back at her. He was lying right beside her, facing her while she lay chest-down on the bed.

“How do you feel?”

She moved to shift her legs but winced.

“Achey.”

He smiled slightly, repeating her words, “Achey?”

She nodded.

“You want water?”

She nodded.

He sat up easily, reaching over to grab the glass from the nightstand and offering it to her.

She tried to sit up, only to immediately crumple back at the action. Her face pinched up in pain.

His eyes widened before setting the glass down, “S’okay baby, I got you.”

He propped his pillow up on the headboard and slowly pulled her up against him so that they were half sitting, half lying down.

He then handed her the glass. He watched her attempt to hold it but her hands shook—shook so badly she could barely hold the glass.

He slipped the glass out of her fingers. She sighed weakly, leaning into his shoulder.

“I’m-i’m thirsty.” she whispered.

“I know kitten.” he replied gently before taking a rather large sip of water himself.

He then held her chin and brought her lips to him and let her drink. She drank from him. It was absurd but his hand on her chin made her less shaky. Their lips on each others made her more stable.

He gave her a peck when she finished.

“More?” he asked.

She nodded.

They did it once more, his mouth holding the water for her to drink. Maybe she was in too much of a daze from their sex to even question it but god, water never tasted better.

But it didn’t end there.

Once the water was gone from his mouth it should’ve ended there but he couldn’t seem to let go of her lips. and neither could she. his hand on her chin keeping her lips to his as his tongue sweeped her mouth. a low groan leaving him.

She broke the kiss, breathless. Her hand coming to rest on his chest as she pushed him away slightly.

“Toru.”

His arm slipped around her back, squeezing her hip as if to keep her close. He kissed her along her jaw.

“Just to keep the record straight, I didn’t stay out late on purpose.” he kissed her shoulder, “I did swim and shower and hug Shoko goodbye. I shoulda texted that I was gonna be out later but I didn't expect to, honest.”

She shifted beside him, silently letting him kiss her until he grabbed her chin and made her face him.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.” she sighed.

He scanned her before smiling faintly, “I love seeing you worry about me though.”

He reached over to squeeze one of her tits, making her shiver, “It makes me so hard.”

When she felt her nipple harden under his palm she glanced down at herself. Only to freeze when she saw she was naked under the sheets.

She looked over at him in a panic, “Why am i naked?”

He spoke from the crook of her neck, his hand still fondling her tit, “cuz we’re not done yet.”

He began to nip at her neck, she knew they’d be marks but that was the least of her worries. Her gaze dropped down to the tent in the blanket, right where his groin would be.

He suddenly pinched her nipple, making a low weak moan leave her lips.

Ara wandered into one of the living rooms. this one had the best lighting in her opinion, perfect for reading. just as she walked towards the couch she froze.

“Oh!” it was Maid Marin, standing on the other side of the room with a vacuum beside her.

“I’m sorry to startle you, Miss.” Marin bowed her head slightly.

Ara waved her hand, “Oh no, you're good!”

“I’ll head on to another room-“

“No please, don’t worry about it.” Just as she turned around to bolt somewhere else, Marin quickly spoke.

“Please, miss, continue as you were. I just finished.”

Ara slowly turned around, belatedly noticing that the floor looked spotless. she’d thought marin was just about to get started.

“oh, um, thank you.”

Ara walked towards the couch, hesitantly getting comfortable on it before flipping through her book trying to find where she’d left off. She’d lost her bookmark for it.

Surprisingly a light laugh left marin, “You don’t have to try make my life easier you know, that’s my job.”

Ara immediately glanced up, confused.

Marin was looking at her rather fondly, “You leave your room the cleanest i’ve ever seen it. Do you put away his clothes as well?”

Ara blinked, belatedly realizing that… she did. but it wasn’t on purpose. It was because Gojo was an actual mess. He was terribly comfortable with tossing his clothes anywhere and misplacing random things after using it—which was the worst because she liked to keep things in a rather meticulous order at times. things had to be in a certain place.

Which was why his hastily tossed aside clothes in random corners of the room would not do. neither would his half-open drawers. or misplaced colognes or-god, i could really go on.

But she supposed the main reason for her minute attention to the room was because it felt ungrateful-it felt ungrateful to leave such a lavish space messy.

“Miss Natsuna?”

She snapped out of her thoughts, “Yes-um-please call me Ara.”

The maid shook her head gently, “That won’t do.”

Ara eyed her as unobtrusively as she could. This was nicest she’d ever seen Marin act with her. The older woman was usually reserved. She usually saw her in passing, as she did with the other maids or workers of the estate. But Marin was the one she interacted with the most and even that was seldom.

“I’d like you to know that i’m grateful. I’m grateful that you're here.”

Ara’s eyes widened.

“Sir gojo was barely home before you moved here but now he is here all the time. He seems so much brighter as well, more lively. He was always energetic since he was a boy but this is different. He’s so happy with you.”

She could tell the woman meant her words. Whether it be because of the care in her voice or the genuineness of her words-all she knew was that this maid really did care about Gojo.

“It’s all his Mother ever wanted for him, for him to be happy.”

Marin offered her a small smile-the first Ara had ever seen.

“I’m happy he met you.” she paused, “Please take good care of him.”

Ara stabbed her sausage with a fork.

“So… Gojo’s birthday is coming up.”

Ara’s eyes flickered upto Millie across from her. “Is it?”

“Yeah!” millie responded indignantly, “You didn’t know?”

“Of course i know.” she responded, annoyance clear in her tone.

Idiot Haibara wouldn’t shut up about it. He was unnecessarily hype that it would be her first time attending Gojo’s bday bash. Apparently something ‘wild’ happens every year. When she asked him to give an example, she was told to ‘wait and see’ with the most goofiest smile on his face.

As if she couldn’t just ask Gojo herself.

Unfortunately she knew Haibara was right. In the previous years she remembered her fellow peers raving about his birthday parties in the following school days. Whether it be live singer or a yacht party, his bday party was the social event for these airheads.

She supposed she was one of the airheads now herself, since she was dating the biggest one.

“Well what are you gonna give him for his birthday?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know. What do you get someone who has everything?” Ara took a frustrated bite out of her sausage.

Millie placed her chin on her hand, “Hmm that’s true.” she squinted as if mulling over a few things but then dismissing them, “Damn, he really does have everything.”

“Thanks for the help.” Ara responded sarcastically before taking another bite from her sausage.

Millie eyed the sausage jealously. She’d devoured hers in two seconds. She loved how the school chef made them—suddenly her eyes widened.

“Wait.”

“What?” Ara asked.

Millie smirked, her eyes glinting with excitement, “He technically doesn’t have everything..”

Ara stepped out of the car feeling like a doll. Even though it was Gojo’s big day he’d rented out an entire spa and massage sesh for her and Millie cuz he could tell she was getting anxious.

Maybe because everyone was hyping Gojo’s birthday party up or maybe because it was the fact so many people were going to be there, her introvert self couldn't take it.

but after everything. hair. nails. makeup. outfit. all put together—& maybe some hits from Millie’s j. She felt more calm-ish.

It was saturday, the night of Gojo’s party even though his actual birthday was tomorrow. It was taking place at the estate. He’d considered throwing it at one of his family’s beach houses but Shoko declined the idea due to the fact that Geto apparently did that last year so they had to keep it different.

Apparently Gojo didn’t host events often at the estate-mainly for security/privacy reasons. His uncle also hated it but-according to him-his Uncle's opinion didn’t really matter.

The last time he’d thrown a birthday bash here was freshman year so he counted it as a full circle moment since they were seniors now. so they had to go all out.

Ijichi closed the car door behind her and handed her her mini bag. “Mis-“ he quickly shook his head, “Ara.”

She raised a brow, “Yes?”

“Y-you look beautiful.”

She smiled shyly, “Thank you, Ijichi.”

Suddenly Millie tapped her shoulder, “C’mon c’mon lets go.”

Music could already be heard from the estate even though it was rather early. She supposed it was never too early to start. the sun was bound to set soon.

Ara glanced back at Millie, who was smiling wide as she took in the view of the estate. The place that had homed Ara for the past few months.

“The fact that you live here… insane.”

Ara shook her head, “I’m nervous.”

Millie rubbed her back, “Don’t worry. don’t worry. No one’s here yet. We have time to chill. besides you know how to party so don’t be a party pooper now.” she teased.

Ara rolled her eyes, “thanks.”

His friends were in the living room—chilling and smoking. It seemed everyone had gotten the memo to dress nice aka hot.

Shoko passed her cigarette to toji the second she saw ara. She ran upto her.

“Hey hey!”

Ara hugged her back.

“When did you get here?” Millie asked.

“Oh, we got here like twenty minutes ago. Where were you guys?”

“Still getting ready.” Ara answered.

“Well, it was worth it because ya’ll look-“ she bit her lower lip, making the dumbest face she’d ever seen.

Millie laughed while Ara shook her head, “Please stop.”

Shoko grinned, “Did you guys have anything to drink yet?”

Millie snapped her fingers, “Nope. Imma need that.”

Shoko gestured towards the table in the center of the living room, “Knock yourself out.”

Millie zipped straight where she pointed. Shoko then turned to her, “What about you?”

Ara was silent for a moment, examining the room. Toji sat on the couch, his feet crossed over another and propped on the coffee table before him. Haibara was on his right, blabbing about something passionately that Toji clearly could give two shits about.

Then there was Nanami sitting on the sofa across from them. He’d gotten a hair cut and-if Ara’s vision wasn’t impaired-he seemed to have filled out a bit. It suited him.

 “Where’s Gojo?”

“Oh him and Geto are upstairs. doing god knows what.” Shoko shook her head.

“Do you know how many people are coming?” she asked.

Shoko blinked, “Um.. no. Let’s just say this entire place is gonna be packed though.” she examined Ara with a raised brow, “What’s with you?”

“Nothing nothing. I’m just.. nervous.”

“What?! Why?”

Ara ran a hand though her perfectly done mermaid waves, “I don’t know.” she sighed.

“There’s got to be something.”

Ara straightened her posture, “I don’t know why.. I just feel this pressure in my-“ she gestured towards her stomach, “I can’t explain it.”

“Your anxious?”

“Yeah.” she sighed.

“You know, I think I know a cure.”

“Let me guess, a drink?”

“Damn,” Shoko grinned, “I'm predictable as hell aren’t I.”

Ara chuckled.

“Okay but listen, this drink is actually called ‘the cure’ and I invented it. All the girls love it, it’s fruity and yummy and it’ll prolly calm your nerves. Let me make it for you.”

“Don’t make it too strong please.”

“Of course, I got you.”

“Uno!” Ara spoke a millisecond earlier than Toji.

His sexy green eyes narrowed but she didn’t miss the subtle curl of humor on his lips, “Ah-fuck you.”

He drew four cards from the pile.

She felt a slight nudge to her left and glanced down to see Nanami outstretching his fist towards her in silent commemoration. She smiled, fist bumping him back.

Nanami had already won the round so now her and Toji were fighting for 2nd place.

“Alright, your turn.” Toji grumbled.

She glanced down at the yellow card with the number 9 at the top of the pile. She bit her cheek to hide her smile before kissing her card and setting it down atop the pile.

A green nine was her last card.

Toji sucked his teeth before tossing his pile of cards on the table.

“This a damn scam.”

“You owe her 10k.” Nanami added monotonously.

He leaned forward in his seat adamantly, “The hell’s she gonna do with 10k? Gojo literally gets her Birkins every other week.”

“Are you really jealous of her gifts?” Nanami retorted, “Should she ask Gojo to get you one next?”

“ehH?” Toji’s ears turned red, “Hell no.”

Ara held back her laugh while arranging the cards on the table in a neat pile, “A deals a deal-“

Suddenly a hand clasped her shoulder and she looked up to see Millie with a bright smile on her face. She handed her a glass.

Ara hesitantly took it, looking at the pinky orange liquid within it, “What’s this?”

Millie patted her shoulder, “A gift from Dr.Shoko aka the cure.”

oh right. She’d forgotten about that.

Millie glanced over at Nanami, “By the way, she’s looking for you.”

“Where is she?” he asked.

“In the kitchen.”

“Which one?”

Millie’s eyes nearly popped out of her body, “There’s multiple?”

“Yes.” Ara, Nanami and Toji all replied at the same time.

Millie sucked her teeth, “Jesus. well, it’s the one with the blue marble countertops.”

“East wing.” Nanami muttered under his breath before getting up and leaving.

Millie quickly took his seat and held out her glass of the same drink.

“Cheers?” she asked Ara.

Ara could already tell by the glassy look in millie’s eyes that the girl had clearly got a head start with the drinks.

Ara sucked in deep breath, “We don’t need a chaser?”

Toji snorted, “For Shoko’s cure? Hell no. Shits sweet as hell.”

Millie rolled her eyes, “We get it, tough guy.”

He grinned at her.

Millie ignored him, facing Ara, “Nope you barely taste the alc in this, for real.” she held her glass up, “C’mon, c’mon.”

Ara held out her glass, a satisfying ‘clink!’ resounding from their glasses once they touched. They then linked arms and tilted their heads back, downing the drink in one go.

They set the glasses down in a fit of giggles.

Ara lightly dabbed at the corner of her lip with her fingertips, making sure none of it spilled or messed up her lipstick.

“That just tastes like juice.” Ara noted.

“Told ya.” Toji replied.

If ara had been nervous before, she barely remembered what that felt like now. what had she even been worried about? people? ha. she barely noticed when the house began to gradually fill up.

The music was all she could focus on. It felt like it was connected to her veins. pumping through her body with each soundwave that blasted from the speakers.

She was dancing, moving her hips in ways she didn’t even know was possible. Millie wouldn’t stop laughing and it seems her laugh was too contagious cuz Ara couldn’t stop laughing either.

But suddenly, the song changed and she saw millie’s face turn serious. She grabbed Ara’s hand, leading her somewhere.

Millie climbed atop the pool table and pulled her up. She started yelling the lyrics, Ara handed her a pool stick as if it was a mic.

The surrounding people turned around, staring up at them and the next thing she knew people started to sing along, some people even started jumping. A few girls climbed on top of the pool table to join them as well.

Millie tossed the pool stick somewhere and started to dance with her. Ara only knew the chorus of the song so the second it started to play they both started pointing at each other and singing. (a/n: song is okay - by JT)

“I’m pretty than a motherfucker, hoes be lookin’ okay.”

“She think that she fuckin’ with me, is this bitch okay?”

“He said he ain’t fuckin’ round, i look at him like, okay?”

“I used to be down bad but now a bitch okay.”

Millie nearly tripped and Ara grabbed her shoulders, catching her just in time. They both gasped, staring at each other with wide eyes.

They both burst out laughing. In the midst of their laughter, they didn’t notice people cheering and making way for a certain individual.

No one other than the birthday boy himself, Gojo.

He stood a little distance away from the pool table, dapping a few people up as he passed before crossing his arms when he spotted her. A wide grin on his lips.

His vibrant eyes looked her up and down, before chewing at his lower lip and sighing.

She was wearing his favorite color on her. red—blood red. It looked so fucking good. Her dress hugged her waist so tight, those thin straps were barely holding in her yummy tits. He swore her skin glittered under the lights-and her hair, it looked so silky and wavy, swaying with each roll of her hips. She had to be a siren.

The thought of running his hands through those locks and wrapping it around his fist before spreading her glowy little legs. He wondered if her back was just as sparkly—haah. I need to calm down.

To say he was pent up wouldn’t cover it. He’d felt so utterly betrayed when she suggested that they hold off on sex before his birthday, just so he could cherish it more.

She’d suggested that he hold off for a week. Impossible. They broke that a day in. She should know he always cherished whenever they fucked. He never ran out of stamina with her and she knew it. He felt like this break was more for her than anything.

In the end he ended up only managing to hold out for two days, today being day two. He didn’t like it—not having her. Discipline wasn’t in his nature when it came to her. but-god-with the way she looked right now… mmm she better not expect to sleep tonight.

He felt an elbow jab his ribs and remembered himself. He glanced over at Geto.

“Get your shit together.”

Gojo grinned, uncrossing his arms to run a hand over his mouth, “I’m trying.”

Geto tilted his head, “Are you?”

“Gimme a sec.”

He deftly made his way towards her, standing in front of the pool table, right where she was. How distracted are you kitten? She barely looked away from Millie as they danced, enjoying the song to its fullest.

She looked so good, singing the words-word for word-fuck he was too impatient to wait. He wanted her eyes on him. She hadn’t even greeted him when she came back to the estate after getting dolled up all day.

His hand slid up her calf, immediately drawing her attention. She glanced down, her eyes instantly brightening.

The spark that ran up his spine was incomparable.

He stared up at her with a boyish grin, his hand sliding up along the back of her thigh and she leaned into him, placing her hand on his shoulder. He easily held her waist and placed her down in front of him.

He hummed, pressing her body to his by sliding his hands down her waist to her ass, squeezing her cheeks hard.

A small, sexy little yelp left her lips and he exhaled silently. She stared up at him, her hands on his chest, “Toru..” he heard the reproach in her tone until her gaze dropped to his lips.

She shook her head but he quickly cupped one side of her face. “Your lipstick..”

She smiled softly. Right. She’d gotten mad at him about that before. She tilted her head up, fully pressing her chest against his, “It’s waterproof.”

His lips crashed to hers, nearly swallowing her lips whole. The music silencing their sloppy, desperate sounds. Her hands grasped at his forearms and his hands squeezed her pretty waist. He could taste the alc on her tongue, it tasted fruity, sweet—

Her nails dug into his skin, pushing herself back.

“Toru..” she whined, resting her head on his chest.

He ran a hand down her hair before pressing his lips to the crown of her head. God, she’s so damn cute.

“Everytime I look at you i feel like the luckiest man in the world.” he muttered into her hair.

His hands found her hips, squeezing lightly as he looked down at her, “Do you know how good you look right now?”

She looked up at him, “I do.” she pressed her stomach to his groin to prove her point. His eyes widened. The action made his cock throb—painfully so. He’d been hard as a rock the second his eyes landed on her.

He grinned, “You wanna do something about it?”

She tilted her head, giving him a look.

“Fine, fine~” he pressed his forehead to hers, running a hand down her hair only to grasp her nape to drag her close. his lips her ear, “You can’t drink too much.”

He felt her hands on his chest waver, “I won’t.”

“You promise?”

She slipped her hands around his neck, pulling back to nudge her nose against his, “I promise.”

He introduced her to a ton of people. She couldn’t possibly remember them all-but to her shock, Gojo was friends with so many nepobabies, celebrities and LA influencers, it was incredulous. she couldn’t believe they’ve never talked about it before.

She never thought in her life she would ever meet these people. and the fact that some of their classmates were talking to these celebrities as if they were friends… as if they’ve met them before. She couldn’t believe it.

Like genuinely in what world did Gojo know David Beckham’s son, Romeo? or Monica Bellucci’s daughter?

She’d done her best to remain as calm as possible whenever Gojo introduced her to these people. He loved saying it—“this my girlfriend, Ara.”

She was almost sick of hearing it so many times but she knew he ate it up. The little smile he gave her whenever he said it, he loved claiming her like this.

His arm was on her back, his hand resting low on her hip as he spoke to an actual prince-Prince Nikolai of Denmark to be exact. Then randomly, Vinnie Hacker joined their conversation. She felt like she was watching the mogging olympics. She couldn’t even focus on the conversation, merely laying her head on Gojo as she stared up at them talking.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm, prying her away from Gojo. She glanced over to see Shoko, “Come here.”

Gojo’s hand loosened on her hip, letting Shoko take her as he continued to converse. Ara slipped away, letting Shoko lead her to the corner of the room.

“How are you feeling?”

Ara slow blinked, “Um… I feel good.” The realization made a small smile spread across her lips.

“Really?” Shoko inquired, before running a hand through her hair, “Thank god.”

She tilted her head, “Why?”

“Because Millie came up to me and I don’t know if she was joking or not but she said she put ecstasy in your drink.”

Ara froze.

Shoko went on, “She said she only put a little-to ease your nerves or something but, still. I was hoping you knew… did she tell you?”

Ara answered with a simple, “Nope.”

“Oh god. Are you sure you're okay?”

She gave her a thumbs up.

Shoko raked a hand through her short hair again, “Are you sure?”

She grabbed Shoko’s arms, “I promise i’m okay, stop worryingg.”

Shoko stared at her smile for a second before nodding, “Alright, alright.”

Shoko reached out to fix one of Ara’s necklaces, “Isn’t your friend.. a little sus? Why would she not tell you that.”

Ara shrugged, high out of her mind, “Dunno, maybe she told me and I forgot.”

That was a lie. Ara would remember something like that.

Shoko shook her head, smiling slightly, “You’re a mess.”

Suddenly Mina showed up in all her blonde haired glory. Ara swore those big loose waves belonged in a Victoria Secret show. Mina grabbed ahold of both of their wrists.

She wriggled her brows, “Lets dance.”

Ara was on the rooftop, dancing with girls she didn’t even know. Shoko knew them though.

It threw her off when some of the girls recognized her as Gojo’s girlfriend. She wondered if it had to do with Gojo’s socials. She didn’t really use social media much herself but she’d advised him against posting her too much. She wondered if he’d listened.

The breeze on the rooftop was perfect along with the sunset. The multicolored sky looked like something straight out of a landscape painting.

She walked away from the dancing girls, telling them she was going to get a drink but in reality she needed a break. She wandered to the farthest lounging chair and laid down.

She lay on her side, one leg over the other as she stared at the sky, letting the music and breeze waft over her.

She felt surreal. She didn’t want to ever stop feeling like this.

Suddenly she heard a familiar voice nearby, “Ara?”

She glanced over to see Geto hovering nearby. He bent down slightly, “Are you okay?”

She smiled a bit, “I’m great.”

“Yeah?” he sat on the seat beside her, sighing.

“Mhm, what about you?”

He scratched his brow with his thumb, “Fine, a bit… tired. Maybe I’m not drunk enough.”

She laughed lightly, “Maybe.”

“You drink enough?”

She nodded.

He set his drink down to light a cigarette. He offered her one but she shook her head. She watched him take a puff. The smokey air billowing upwards was the most interesting thing to watch.

She laid down more comfortably, adjusting her arm underneath her head. She stared at him. His black hair looked nice down. It ended a little past his shoulders. She was so used to seeing it up in a man bun that she didn’t realize how long his hair actually was.

She followed his gaze. He was looking at a girl, near their age. She swore she might’ve seen that girl on pinterest or something. Regardless, the girl was gorgeous.

“You should talk to her.” Ara suggested lightly.

His eyebrows raised slightly, “Oh no-no, she’s my friend. I’ve known her since i was little.”

She watched him lean back in his seat, raising his glass to his lips to take a sip. He gazed over the crowd uninterestedly.

“Why don’t you talk to any girls?”

He nearly spit his drink, “What?”

“I just..” her brows furrowed slightly, “I just realized I’ve never seen you talk to a girl at a party. like talk talk.”

He held her gaze for a moment, expression shocked before he hunched over in his seat, looking away.

“I’m not really good at talking to girls.”

She could see the tips of his ears reddening as he admitted this.

“No way.” she gasped out.

His eyes immediately flickered to her, “What?”

“So Gojo wasn’t lying? You’re a virgin?”

She watched color swiftly bloom along his cheeks, “He told you that?”

"I honestly don’t think that’s bad. I don’t see the big deal about losing your virginity by a certain time or age. It’s just unnecessary pressure. I was a virgin-“ she cut herself, suddenly thinking over her words.

“Um-“ she felt her face go warm, “-until-uh-“

He couldn’t seem to make eye contact, “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

She sat up, crossing one leg over the other. She adjusted the end of her mini dress.

“Anyway,” she muttered, “I don’t see the big deal. I just hope you lose it with someone you love.”

Her eyes widened as she processed her words. She felt Geto’s eyes boring into her.

“So you love him?”

She glanced over at him, unable to read his blank expression.

He offered her a small smile, “He’s been waiting to hear you say it, y’know.”

“He hasn’t said it.”

"He said he did.”

She blinked, belatedly remembering that he has. In fact, he’s said it multiple times-but he never pressured her to say it back.

Faint confusion etched her features, “He wants to hear me say it?”

“Who wouldn’t.”

Fireworks sparked across the sky. the air was foggy with smoke. the scent of alcohol, sweat and expensive colognes and perfumes everywhere.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOJO SATORU!!!!” Haibara yelled atop his lungs into the mic after his spiel-that she could barely concentrate on-and countdown.

Gojo was laughing beside her, she playfully shoved him away. He shot her the handsomest smile as he stumbled backwards. He then faced the balcony, sharing his smile to the people below.

He easily climbed atop the balcony railing, standing on the ledge with just his two feet.

She felt like she was watching him slow motion when he slipped off his shirt. His built upper body visible to everyone. His protruding biceps, compact abs. The pool water somehow reflecting across his body, creating lines of light blue waves along his skin.

He shook his head, moving his floppy white hair out of his eyes before he blew a kiss to his fans by the pool below. He tugged at the belt of his jeans, grinning down as the party goers hooted and hollered. chanting his name.

She stared at him, looking at the shit eating grin on his face. She hated how attractive the expression was.

He tossed his Jean Paul Gaultier sunglasses off before jumping off the railing.

She watched in astonishment as he managed to curl into a ball and roll in the air a couple times before landing smack center in the pool. She swore she felt water droplets from where she stood on the rooftop.

She was gaping until his head emerged from the pool. He shook his hair out like a dog, laughing in his boisterous airy way. Several people jumped into the pool, his friends swarmed him.

She shook her head, glancing away when she felt something poke her arm. it was arden, one of Shoko’s friends. When ara glanced down she realized what had been poking her was the straw of a multi-colored fruity looking drink.

“It’s yours.” Arden offered.

“I think I’m good—“

“Drink.”

Ara snatched it out of her hand and chugged it down.

She laughed, shoving Millie back, “What the hell is with you?!”

Millie countered, “You feel better though, don’t you? don’t you?”

She paused before answering, “.. i do.”

They both made eye contact before breaking down in a fit of giggles.

She bursted into one of the guest rooms to find a group of boys and girls hovered over in a loose circle. Her gaze then dropped to the tray between them and the lines of white powder on it.

“Ooops, my bad.”

She quickly slammed the door shut. her hand still on the handle as she kept her back to the door. standing in complete shock.

“What is it?”

Toji stood in front of her.

He gestured with a tilt of his chin towards the door behind her, “What’s in there?”

“You like coke?”

“Maybe.”

She let go of the door handle, “It’s all yours.”

Just as she walked around him, he grasped her wrist.

She raised a brow as she looked up at him.

“You took a line?” an undercurrent of shock and curiosity in his voice.

“Pft no.”

His eyes narrowed, a subtle grin on his lips, “Liar.”

She tried to tug her wrist away, “I didn’t.”

He let her wrist go, “You definitely took somethin’ ” he leaned in, “Your pupils are big.”

She touched her cheek, “They are?” she tried to recall reading about physical symptoms for MDMA use but couldn’t remember anything.

“Mhm.” he leaned back, “What’d you take?”

“Ecstasy… Millie said she crushed up a bit and put it in my drink. She said it would help me relax and it did.. but..”

“But?”

She met his gaze, “She told me she only put a little.”

The corner of his lip curled ever so slightly, “I hope she did, for your sake.”

“Am i going to black out?”

He looked her up and down, “You don’t look like it. How do you feel?”

“I feel fine.. I feel like everything feels better.”

He smirked, “I bet.”

“Do you think i’m gonna be able to stay up all night?”

Confusion flickered across his features, “why…” a millisecond later realization made his thin brows instantly shoot up, a sly grin on his lips.

“Never mind.” she quickly spat out.

“You’re a good girlfriend.”

“Shut up.”

Ara stood in the kitchen, scarfing down a slice of cake. It was delicious. the frosting was the best texture on the entire planet. holy grail.

The cake was a cute faded pastel blue color, the inside was made of three layers-moist chocolate cake, fluffy chocolate mousse and chocolate ganache. She wasn’t even that much of chocolate person but this tasted heavenly.

“dish is amazhing.” Some girl beside her spoke through her chewing. Ara had never met this girl in her life.

“it does.” she agreed.

The floor pulsed with the bass of each word, each beat drop. Her heart pulsed along with it.

She was jumping so much her legs were sore. She danced with her hands on Millie’s shoulders. Millie? yes, Millie.

Millie was dancing too. her curls had loosened and appeared more mermaid-like than tightly curled. She looked like a doll.

Millie grabbed her hands and spun around with her. There were so many cheers, so many voices. everyone was so loud.

People danced in front of them, behind them. They somehow got tugged into a circle, hooting and hollering as girls and boys alike took the center space to dance. Some people were recording. Ara swore she’d seen some of the faces around her on tik tok or youtube.

Ara’s mouth dropped open when she watched a few girls slide into the center of the circle, showing off their moves in their skimpy outfits. Goddamn, they know how to dance.

She’d never seen so many people having so much fun at once. It almost felt like one of those antidepressant ads in real life–except it was real life.

Millie touched her cheek, “dance! dance! dance!” her voice echoed in her ears.

Was music always this beautiful?

She felt hands on her waist and opened her eyes. It was dark, the sporadic neon flashes the only source of light but she could recognize the man in front of her anywhere.

His skin was poreless, smooth. Her hands touched his familiar abs.

His hand was in her hair, his other hand on her ass—keeping her groin against his. He was hard.

The neon lights flashed over his eyes and she swore they glittered—brighter than uncut diamonds.

His lips were on her neck, his lips were on her lips. his hand tugged her nape closer. His cock throbbed through his jeans, against the thin material of her dress.

She couldn’t stop his lips from moving over her own. She felt like she was gonna disappear in him and-oh she wanted to. yes she wanted to.

Her body needed something and he knew exactly what. She felt it in his hold, in the pressure of his lips against hers. She couldn’t think.

He pulled her legs up around his waist and she knew the party was behind them.

a/n: fic continued in chapter 5 [ part 4 ] !!!!!

[itsangelll]

Hi! could you do like a 2011 tom smut where like she uses safe word bc he was going to rough and stuff? Thank u!!

A/n: of course!! thank you for sending me this <3 I hope you guys enjoy mwah! <3

2011 era!! I swear there’s no photos of him in this era :(

’𝓈𝒶𝒻ℯ 𝓌ℴ𝓇𝒹’ ☆

warnings: Tom being rough smut but turns to fluff <3

How long had it been?, 2 hours ago you were watching your boyfriend perform amazingly but he missed a note or 2 cause the timing. After the show you knew he was pissed his jaw was clenched and was yelling all sorts out swear words in German you couldn’t understand, the only way he could get his anger out was by you, all you could remember was how you got up here in the first place.

There was always a safe word you and Tom used which was ‘Rose’ since you loved the colour red and flowers of course. He promised you that if you ever needed to use just to let him know and he’d stop straight away.

You couldn’t feel your legs your lips were sore your head was aching, but Tom was too pissed off to notice he thrusted in and out of you so hard your body was about to break. “T-Tom please can we stop I don’t think I can take anymore” you whine out your voice strained a bit your eyes were starting to go glossy. “Liebe just a little bit longer I’m close” he breathed out. You’ve cummed about 3-4 times, your head was racing your body could not honestly take too much more.

“Rose!” Your voice was about to break Tom instantly came back to reality a worried expression on his face, he pulled out of you cupping your face in his hands “Shit Meine Liebe I’m so sorry I didn’t know I was going so rough.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead kissing you all over.

Tom grabbed a towel from the bathroom and cleaned you up making sure not to miss a single spot, He cradled you in his arms rubbing small circles up and down your back whispering sweet things into your ear “I love you heaps Schatz” he murmured “I love you too Tom”. You pressed a feather light kiss on his lips you ended up falling asleep in his arms.

A/n: I hope you enjoyed this keep sending requests!! I absolutely love reading them and I appreciate that you guys love my writing also there may be a part 2 of the fanfic nothing to say now!! mwah bye cuties <3

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢��𝐭:

@bunniesthoughts

@memzyyy

@jadedchar

@madzandmore

[g-xix]

SIDEMEN RANKING: Which of the Sidemen would make the best boyfriend?

ik this was a tag challenge for Beta Squad last year but I thought I'd do this for the Sidemen... Gonna tag @w2soneshots @xxkatxgracexx @chemreacti0n, @anaaye7 and @inevesgf to do this next w their own opinions... but really anyone who sees this can, if you want :)

-----------

7. Tobi -Just such hard red flag vibes i cannot LIE -Sure he's a pretty face n hot n all that... -But the boys always say he's really secretive + ppl never know where he is half the time... Instantly a bit red flaggy -And then also i feel like he'd be one of those hypocritical bf's that want a woman who's completely virginal and saintly, regardless of whether he has been his entire life. 🤐

6. Harry -I said it'd be realistic and im not gna pander to the w2s girlies this time when i dont think it's true to reality 👿 -Because Harry is very much a spontaneous personality -And as a couple, or being in a relationship - it's very much sorta based in working around being partners, atl when it gets more serious -But I feel like Harry's one of them personas that gets motivation to do things very sporadically, and that just means he struggles matching to other people and working around a schedule that agrees with someone else's -And in those unmotivated phases he gets, I fear he would be so negative nancy-ish, like, wouldn't be inspiring anything within you, very demotivating to yourself... Not really a fun person to do things with or be around. Let alone date

5. Ethan -Tbf i have to respect it bc he's had a long term partner now and he's fully living w Faith n has little baby Olive, too... Very respectable, realistic, reliable. -...But. -We've all seen the Growing Paynes podcast clip where him and Faith argue about the fact that Ethan's not gna propose until Faith agrees to take his second name and drop her family surname. -So we know that he wouldn't be able to compromise. -And from SDMN sunday's, we already know he's quite stubborn. -Although, that being said - there's definitely a lot of good that comes with Ethan, iven if he doesn't carry all of the forwards thinking views -Like, he's a very familiy oriented man - which i generally don't like - but the clip that jumps out to me is seeing him tear up on the pod saying about how he gets upset and he doesn't like seeing Faith and Olive getting shittalked by fans. -The genuineness and honesty and raw emotion of that one actually got me respecting Ethan quite a bit. -Also j because he's very in touch with mental health and physical health bc of his fitness journey, I do feel like he would be a very reliable and motivating partner which is quite good from him. Bosh.

4. JJ and Vik, tied for this spot. -They both have equal number of "yeah that's quite good"s and "oh that's not-!"s -Like, one thing that contrasts these two are emotional intellect. -Because JJ I feel like is highly in touch with his emotional side - like, he's had therapy and ik his current gf is a therapist - he definitely understands emotions and would be really uplifting and helpful in times whereby emotionally you're not doing the best and need someone to be a listener or just generally be there for you. -Vik on the other hand...? I feel like Vik has the mindset of a corporate business, in the fact that emotions are really hard for him to register and deal with appropriately sometimes. -Like, i mentioned this on the Crying HC's, Vik is deffo sorta made uncomfortable or rendered a little bit shocked and helpless when confronted with big displays of emotions bc he just doesn't know how to respond n deal with them. -One issue with both of them I can pick up asw, is the fact that they'd be always travelling and busy with their work: JJ with Prime, Misfits and music tours - Vik with business and music, too... Definitely makes the relationship a bit hard when during 8 days of the week, these guys are everywhere but home with you -BUT! It is very worth mentioning that these guys have both had long term relationships which don't just appear out of nowhere. -Vik is so respectful of his wife which I have sm respect for - their wedding was beautiful + even in the SDMN roast when a joke was made about her that felt a bit disrespectful, Vik didn't laugh at it - he fully kept a straight face out of respect for her which I lowkey highkey respect, because it takes balls not to follow the crowd n laugh at that sorta thing when everyone else is -And I mean, JJ also has been dating his gf for like, 7 maybe 8 years??? I don't remember what he said in his vid... But again, clearly shows a lot of commitment to the relationship which I respect! -Only con exclusive to JJ which I can think of, is that he's kinda misogynistic which would 100% reflect in a relationship which is annoying... Liiiiike, all his try not to laughs and content atm just feels very misogyny fuelled and has rly put me off of his JJ Olatunji channel, unfortunately. -But I think overall - JJ and Vik are both relatively equal in terms of who would be better/worse to date

2. Joshuaaaa! -I reckon Josh isn't the most entertaining or handsome or funny or cool or young or funny or young of the lot -... -But I reckon he'd be a great boyfriend -I mean - reoccurring theme - but he's been in a relationship with Freya for 13+ flipping years, if you've voluntarily kept someone with you for that long, something about you has gotta be good. -And he's definitely one of the more/most chill of the boys like, I feel a lot of the other boys are more sorta guarded or sensitive about their partner... But Josh is 100% Freya's hypeman, and the same for Freya to Josh -Like, Josh as a partner would be the most easy life ever - bro always has everything planned and under control CONSTANTLY, never a day of stress with him -Just yes.

Simon miniMINTER -(idk why formatting has switched up on me at the last minute) -But honestly this guy is so much more mature than the rest of the Sidemen it's both lowking shocking and so satisfying to watch -And again, for the final time: Has had a partner for nearly/maybe even 8 years - he deffo just gets it. -Understands compromise, and even in the vlogs with Talia - you can just tell he's become so much less stubborn and accommodating in his life as he's grown and gotten married and wisened up -Speaking of Talia: He's genuinely her biggest supporter. I rmbr watching her music vid Bored, and she was getting loads of hate for it at the time - but Simon was supporting thru n thru on insta, youtube, her lives.... I love that sm for him, he's so gf-oriented, which we love to see. -And also omds he's aging like fiiiiiine wine -Bc the beard and hair atm? Omds pictures from SoccerAid had me lowkey sweating over this GUYYY -And ik that he keeps his relationship off camera quite a bit - but i feel like that is once again a show of maturity from just knowing (having done YouTube for so long) that he wants to keep work and life separate -Which also shows a lot of healthy mindset n thinking which is why I think that yah, Simon is just like, top tier bf material -Scores 100% in looks, likeability and everything else possible

[ashyjingles]

What's your favorite trope in thiam fics? (Or in general?)

this ended up being something a lot longer than i meant to be and is less of a fav trope and more of an analysis of how i view them or whatever but like. here have it

theo learning how to cope with life outside of the dread doctors and being viewed as a monster for his actions (which,,, sorry theo ily and i will forever be a theo defender,,, but never an apologist bc wtf bro) and liam understanding him because of what he's done during his ied episodes and the repercussions

liam's reluctant to admit he feels that empathy for him at first because hey!! this guy kind of not only evil but also batshit fucking bonkers!! but he kinda realizes without empathy he loses an aspect of his humanity and when he accepts it he realizes theo was quite honestly just in an incredibly abusive situation and was just trying to survive and became a product of his enviornment (and considering one of the causes of ied is environmental factors i feel like it wouldn't be too far fetched to say liam understands that personally too)

and theos reluctant to admit that he. feels guilty for anything he did. because that means admitting that he did bad things. which when he tries to rationalize makes no sense because he has done bad things and has even enjoyed doing it because his brains a little fucked and he knows that because he's a monster. but being guilty means he's a failure to the dread doctors. and he's already rotten at the edges and the edges are starting to peel away to show a rotten core and that means he's a failure to the mccall pack because they're a bunch of saints (compared to him at least. and if not, well they're on a saints leash) and he's spent so long being anything but a failure because being a failure means being dead and he cannot shake that no matter how hard he tries until he realizes liam sometimes fails at keeping his anger in check but that doesn't make him a failure. and then without even realizing liam starts teaching theo that it's okay to slip up a few times because that's what makes people human and maybe theo doesn't have to be a monster

but when they both accept themselves and the other it leads to a relationship that no one else quite gets (sure, mason has been there for liam his entire life and i cannot stress how much i adore their friendship but sometimes understanding something because you've watched it happen is worlds away from actually experiencing it) at first but it's the sort of thing that just. fits. because they can both push each other to their limits without actually going over (eventually) but also pull each other back when they need a reminder of who they are (people. not monsters.)

tbh i love them cause there's so many different dynamics and tropes that can apply to them but this one,,,,,,,, this one is the one that well and truly wrecks me most of the time. and i don't even think this counts as a trope.

if i had to choose like a trope trope then. idiots to lovers? basic. enemies to lovers? too obvious. idk any tropes now that i think about it,, fuck. sunshine x grumpy?? but also i think i like grumpy liam more than sunshine liam because that boy has an ied and a shitload of trauma he's not gonna be a ray of happiness all the time and like hell will theo be a sunshine character. OHHHH YOU KNOW WHAT?? FAKE DATING!! or the and they were roommates thing. idk tbh dude. hanahaki if u wanna take a peek at my 4 hanahaki drafts for them lmfao

in general tho? combination of idiots to lovers but also fake dating but also grumpy x grumpy that sometimes leans toward grumpy x sunshine I GUESS. since you're MAKING me CHOOSE.

[nyaagolor]

Now that you’ve played through all the episodes, how would you rank them?

Oooo this is tough, in part bc I like all of them a LOT. The designations between a few of them, especially in the middle category, are gonna be kinda arbitrary, but I'll do my best :)

Also this got stupid long so I put it under a readmore! Spoilers abound, as one might expect

8. Dawn of the Golden Witch (Episode 6)

I have some... mixed feelings on this one. I understand what Ryukishi was going for in using chick-Beato and Battler's interactions to parallel Battler with Kinzo and show Kinzo's dynamic with Kuwadorian Beatrice via analogy, but I also think it kinda fumbles a bit. There are points (cookie scene being a big one) where I feel like the characters take a backseat to the themes and the whole narrative feels off. Chapters 5 and 6 are supposed to be a perversion of the original story that Beatrice has lost control over, but there are points during 6 especially where I think it kinda loses itself. The rest of it is great (Erika's VA is a goddamn champion) but the very beginning of this chapter is easily my least favorite part of the series

7. Requiem of the Golden Witch (Episode 7)

I don't really have strong feelings on this episode. It would have been the high point in just about any other VN, but Umineko is so consistently fantastic that Episode 7 didn't really hit me as hard as the others. It did make me wish we got more Kyrie though, even if I know exactly why she wasn't as prominent as many of the others. Kind of insane that my second least-favorite arc is something I would rank like an 8 or 9 out of 10, Umineko is just that goated (get it???)

6. Turn of the Golden Witch (Episode 2)

While I do love watching the worst woman ever conceived have a 48 hour progressive mental breakdown, Alliance hits every point I like about the Rosa / Maria dynamic but does it better. It's still an arc I absolutely adore, so it feels weird to rank it so low, but I think about it a lot less than the other arcs so down here it goes. Shoutout to this arc for making me laugh to the point I could no longer speak not once, but twice. Kanon chuuni jacket and leashed Battler you will always be famous

5. Twilight of the Golden Witch (Episode 8)

I know that ranking episode 8 in the bottom half sounds like sacrilege but this arc had so much Kinzo and while I understand his narrative importance I Do Not Like Him. The fact that Kinzo is in the Golden Land but Kuwadorian Beatrice isn't makes me want to throw bricks at things. Other than that though, absolutely stellar. I bawled at the ending. The next day I thought about it more, misinterpreted it, and cried more, then I thought about it more deeply and talked with friends, really started to understand the core messages, and sobbed even harder. As these things tend to go. This episode ruined my life. Would recommend.

4. Legend of the Golden Witch (Episode 1)

note: 4 and 3 are interchangeable I like them both a lot for different reasons

The first time I read this episode, I thought it was great. The further I got into Umineko, the better it got. Now, with a full understanding of the plot and knowing how this chapter serves as self-reflection through the other (Sayo via Natsuhi) it serves as probably the most raw glimpse into Sayo's mindset we get. This episode ruins me and I'm pretty sure when I inevitably reread it I am going to dissolve into a puddle of goo. Also Natsuhi is there and she's my favorite of the matriarchs so I'm a little bit biased :)

3. Banquet of the Golden Witch (Episode 3)

This is one of the funniest pieces of literature I have ever read in my life. EVA-Beatrice, the entire sob story (that I, like Battler, fell for completely), the two towers fight scene... 10/10 no notes. I don't even have the words for how much I adored this one. I wish I could read it again for the first time.

2. Alliance of the Golden Witch (Episode 4)

Ok so fun fact I thought this arc was kinda boring at first, and was a little miffed I had to constantly go through Ange's little side quests when I just wanted to see Beatrice and Battler again. Fortunately, Ryukishi has a beautiful way of changing my mind very very quickly and the more I think about this Episode the more I love it. It has some of the most powerful emotional moments, a really good rehashing of the themes, and is a lot tighter and more condensed than I gave it credit for. There's a LOT that happens in this chapter, and it's been growing on me a lot-- while it doesn't take the number one spot in terms of my favorites, I do think it's the best written of the 8 episodes. As a bonus it focuses a lot on Maria who is one of the best characters ever and my darling baby angel.

End of the Golden Witch (Episode 5)

This is the platonic ideal of Umineko to me. The layers of metanarrative, the perversion of a formula to reiterate its structure, the use of genre conventions as a dual-use in-universe and metanarrative element, Erika. End of the Golden Witch is when I changed from someone who loved Umineko to someone who was obsessed with Umineko. The ending is one of the most visceral parts of the VN and I will fully admit I cried. There is so much happening in this episode I could talk about it all day. Also Natsuhi is there. Hey girlie <3

[loveyjeongie]

Little!Momo Hcs

hi!! I haven’t posted much of anything in quite a minute so I thought i’d share some thoughts about little momo from this au I have (still working it out) :)

Momo is one of the members who regresses fairly often, she’s only usually big when she’s able to suppress it for times when she’s working but even then she happens to slip sometimes during schedules and has to be brought back to the dorm

She slips between ages but its only ever between 1-5 and she’s more frequently 2-4

Momo is autistic and also nonverbal when regressed

The girls have learned that when she regresses she doesn’t really understand korean very well, so if mina or sana aren’t around it gets difficult to communicate with momo albeit they try their hardest with the little bits of japanese they do know

This causes a lot of miscommunication tho because momo will get frustrated and upset that no one can understand her and vice versa :(

Mina takes care of her the most and is her primary caregiver among the girls, but everyone helps out a lot

Since momo doesn’t communicate verbally, mina got her a bear themed notepad (she loves bears) to write words or draw pictures to help them understand what she wants

They always make sure its nearby with one of those crayola orange markers bc its the only color she’ll write in (they bulk bought 100)

They also have communication cards that chaeyoung drew and had sana write with momo in both japanese and korean so it helps the other members as well

She’s a clingy baby :( she likes to play but other times she will cry a lot until someone picks her up and holds her, and will get really fussy when she’s put down again so she’s always kept very close to someone else

Jeongyeon got her a special weighted blanket that is only about 2 lbs and when she’s feeling very overwhelmed they wrap it around her and it calms her down a lot

Momo doesn’t like sitting on the couch or chairs bc she gets scared of being high off the ground without someone holding her, so they have a special area decked out on the living room floor with soft cushions and pillows, and the girls will sit with her there instead

Bedtime for momo is rough as she deals with a lot of nightmares, and after going through a handful of really terrible long sleepless nights they decided she’s not allowed to sleep on her own anymore

Mina sleeps with her most nights and momo is a lot more fussy when mina is busy or overseas for work but she doesn’t mind sleeping with any of the other girls as long as they make sure to stick to her routine as closely as possible

If she is going to bed with one of the other girls they have to facetime mina until she falls asleep otherwise she wont sleep

When she still has a really hard time during the night, they’ll wrap her up in her blanket and bring her out to her area in the living room and sleep with her there

She’s not extremely picky with food but she’s very specific about what she eats for breakfast in the morning because she wont eat anything else besides dry cereal and a bottle of slightly watered down orange juice

Her favorite member to have take care of her besides mina is jihyo :]

Jihyo even started taking extra japanese language classes to help her communicate with momo better

One of her favorite things is when jihyo holds her while singing songs from a playlist they made for her

Also when sana and nayeon play or stim with her, it makes her feel less nervous about doing it alone

She really likes animals. Even if sometimes the girl’s pets become overstimulating she loves seeing them and playing with them its really cute

Since momo is constantly on the floor they need to clean the dorm twice a day bc she’ll get sick if they don’t… the cleaning stuff scares her tho so they have to give her headphones and take her into an empty (already cleaned) room :(

this is kinda long, but if you want me to make a part 2 (I have lots I could talk about) or have any questions about any of it/want me to talk abt anything specific feel free to send me asks :] i’d love to talk about her

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/30/2024

most annoying book i've read so far this year under the jump

listening

a lovely polyrhythmic instrumental piece with previously-featured tuesdaysong artist, terrifying master of the cello, abel selaocoe. this is very textured and kind of scrubs at the inside of my skull in a pleasing way. like the kind of back scrubber you can buy with a bamboo handle and the long soft bristles. popped up on my recent releases playlist from spotify.

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reading

really fucking pissed about this book and i am not able to be reasonable about it. i was really thrown, much like the fantasy prince's mother from her carriage as she was being chased by regency gossip reporters, that this was a prince harry/meghan markle RPF AU. i am a bit uncomfy about the fact that our female lead, the fantasy AU meghan markle, is some flavor of fantasy Gaelic instead of fantasy mixed-race. now, i have no particular moral or physical beef with RPF but i don't typically seek it out. but/also/and, much like works about marilyn monroe, i think works with the specter of princess diana are in poor taste. can we leave these women alone maybe

i got about halfway through the book before this revelation and didn't really feel like it succeeded at much of anything it was trying to do. oddly informal and choppy, like it was originally intended as a contemporary romance with some urban magic and changed to regency in a late draft. this is combined with some fairly weak prose: more simple sentence structure than i would expect in a book for young adults, far too many proper nouns, and a lack of interest in showing not telling.

i straight up don't understand why the leads are attracted to each other if she keeps making very public mistakes and he's a rude cunt. i have read other books (most recently the t kingfisher books) where someone grows to love a very gruff or taciturn man, but it takes time and mutual trust and an effort on both sides, none of which happen here. the core conflict is duty to family in all its various forms vs the heart wants what the heart wants. the conflict is not much of a conflict, though, because characters come to realizations within three sentences of confronting them and then vocalize them with therapyspeak. someone literally pats someone else's hand and goes, "It's hard, I know." the author mercifully did not describe the sad little pursed sympathy mouth but i'm sure it was there.

i'm also deeply annoyed with how this author chose to go about characterization. while the character concepts are people i would love to meet in a ttrpg, it feels very concerned about Good Representation and it makes everyone feel very wooden. i think when you put together characters from a list of various oppressions and disabilities it starts feeling like a grownup version of a children’s ensemble show meant to sell little blind box figurines. here is the Chronically Ill one, and her color is pink! here is the Addicted one, and his color is green! here is the Goth and Depressed one, and her color is black with some bones! here is the Gay one who was once badly hurt by the Addicted one, and we don’t care enough about him to give him a color! here is the superficially fantasy-Jewish one, and we don’t care enough about her to give her a color or an action figure either!

while normally i would love to read a book with two! TWO! canonically bisexual leads of different genders! this book is written for the "folx" spectrum of gays instead of the "fags" part of the spectrum and it strays very close to a modern morality tale for me.

this popped up on a list of books with bi leads i think, but if it was here or on libby i cannot remember.

anyway! fucking hated this one.

pleasantly surprised these came in back to back off my holds lists, bc they are about the perfumer Grace and Grace's former landlord, the spy Marguerite. my favorite of these Saint of Steel series is still the one with the werebear nun. i have nothing to complain about these books and not much to say about them either. they were such a delightful and competent change of pace after the annoyance of the previously discussed book.

oh i loved these. oh i LOOOOOOVED these. how the fuck does novik do it. she is so good at capturing the very specific feel of a grandpa military historical novel. except with dragons. i love these in the same way i know i will love the patrick o'brien books if i ever get around to reading them. i was a navy brat and unfortunately this is fucking catnip to me. truly i have inherited all my father's tastes

-

watching

largely fallow week. i don't have anything particularly great to say about The Bad Batch, but when have i ever. have not caught up with dunmeishi bc my siblings have once again inadvertently locked me out of the netflix account i pay for. considering a vpn for many reasons but watching netflix and watching porn (the state of texas does not want me or anyone else to watch porn within her borders) are the two big reasons for. idk. cashing out the paltry cash-back credit card rewards and coughing them up for a vpn. vpn opinions welcomed, i know most of them are straight garbage

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playing

i straight up ran out of money in genshin, which is pretty hard to do since they're pretty generous with it? i have spent several million in-game currency on leveling up neuvilette (i am so so so happy to not have to collect any fucking starfish mats for him anymore [mats are different materials you have to collect or buy in-game in order to level up a character. very grindy most of the time]). anyway i am now scrabbling around for the last couple chests and puzzles i marked on my map in fontaine. i haven't bothered with grinding for his specific boosting artifacts or leveling up his talents all the way yet but this is really not shabby. i have the bad habit of completely levelling up all my 5-stars and then ignoring them until i need them for a specific fight or a specific level of the monthly..battle royale puzzle? i don't really know how to describe the abyss. anyway when i do eventually need his pretty intense water AOE attacks i will frantically grind for his talent mats. right now we're grinding for other things thanks

this latest update contains both the best and worst new areas so far. the underwater lost city of Remuria is a fuckin banger. gorgeous. incredible puzzles. very fun music-based quest line with new abilities and giant whale. however, im kind of disappointed by the new coastline area in the map: there is pretty much nothing there. almost no interactable plants to harvest, very few enemies, almost no chests. i get that they are focusing their time and attention on the new underwater area everyone will be focusing on (killer, btw, super dense and great use of vertical space). very lore-heavy expansion, sort of what if atlantis was a bit roman-inspired and also. hold on. wait a second.

sorry this has just occurred to me at 10:21 PM on Monday night as im drafting this but oh my god are the fucking fontanians the Sea Peoples of the bronze age collapse. this is hysterically funny lore if true. im going to have to go back and reread a lot of the environmental storytelling notes but oh my GOD that's extremely funny if true. genshin has some of the most batshit lore of any game ive ever played and im so sad that so few game journos are focusing on it.

where was i. leveling up characters in legally-not-france who may or may not be descendants of the sea peoples. i often find myself leveling up characters in genshin not based on how useful they are to the party but by how fun the bosses i need to fight for their mats are? for example: neuvilette is a water-based AOE character with not a lot of on-field time. however this big electric seahorse, whose antlers i need to level him up, is really fun to fight and i can knock it out in about thirty seconds.

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making

my sister's birthday is tomorrow! my birthday package to her was kind of heavy on stupid little trinkets and art books and not very much like. homemade? so i cranked out a little sampler. it's framed i promise i simply forgot to take a picture of it framed. about 3"x3", slightly adapted from a piece in Julie Jackson's Subversive Cross Stitch. i do think the F and C turned out way better (or at least the backstitching stands out way more) but hey. sometimes you need to hastily stitch a gift with the limited colors you have on hand

[opal-owl-flight]

I'm going to pretend that your 3 and 4 were too busy/not mature enough at the time to be in love/develop those feelings back before 4 left.

They were just coworkers having fun, being more than coworkers (friends!), and making memories.

But when 4 came back, those feelings became so much more complex. And things only got worse and harder to understand as 4 and 3's relationship as coworkers and friends became strained, between 3's desire for 4 to surpass them and 4's self-loathing.

3's attempt at fixing things only made things worse, as those feelings became love for a friend, someone important, but not a romantic kind JUST yet. 4 was someone they couldn't bear losing. In their attempts to protect them, they invalidated 4's own feelings (which I'm pretty sure you covered), which resulted in the fight.

I think it would be safe to say that it was when 3 realized how much of the problem they'd inadvertently contributed to, that they also began to love 4 more than as a friend. But it's a bit hard to notice that when you're getting your face mashed up.

Post hospital stay, 3 finally realized that love and became super gay for 4, as seen by the inner 3 reactions.

As for 4's journey, it was very similar in that it wasn't until they were smashing 3's face in that they realized, in those moments with their hands covered in 3's blood, in the moments that they spent with them in the hospital, that some of their own feelings might be turning to love.

Of course, the main feeling during the fight was anger and then horror, but shit happens.

Sorry for the way too long ask, but I've loved your 4 and 3 comics (8 and 4 were super emotional as well, and I greatly enjoyed those ones) and just had to share! ^^;;

You got a lot of it right! Though, the gay doesnt come til after Project Piranesi/Oceanic Labyrinth -- 3's "I love you" in Break is a platonic one, a feeling they held ever since they met, and a feeling that never went away even when they parted.

The relationship strained bc 4 went off and experienced hell in college. She developed a self loathing, and took a break from there. SHe hoped that 3 would be able to fix the issue bc hey...they always know what to do with her (her thought here is "Make me a perfect agent, continue what youve been doing before")... but that didnt happen.

3, now the Captain, taken off the field and directly responsible for the lives of the agents, has become more battle hardened and strict in their duties. They drill the agents to make sure they dont suffer what they did (falling to Tartar specifically), done out of a place of care and love. Theyre scared, really, they feel all this responsibility, add the fact that they dont like acknowledging that they may not be able to save everyone like they usually do before (due to their disability).

They heard 4s pleas and tried to turn her to what she wants. Maybe more. They knew shed surpass them. Its inevitable.

They only wanted her to be the best self she can be. Protect her -- they finally got her back, theyre not losing her again -- even if their methods only served to strain their friendship further.

A huge misunderstanding of 3s motives leads to bitterness from 4. They were her best friend. Now theyre...just like everyone else in college. Disappointed in her (no theyre not). She strived to be whatever perfection they wanted from her. Maybe if she got there, shed stop hating herself. If she got there, maybe theyd love her again (they always did, if...not expressed properly).

Leads to the duel after 3 forced a Leave on her, yada yada.... they make up for lost time after, hanging out as friends again until 4 is confident/feels supported enough to return to agent duties.

In those further duties, 4 starts growing. Finally growing in the right direction. Her confidence swelling to be almost the same as before she went to college (but not completely). I think tje romantic feelings start here? Not sure yet. But its def after time spent together as pals and supporting each other through several of their internal struggles (4 and her self-image, 3 and their limitations)

The Captain's right hand.

The confession likely happens after 4 saves 3 from some situation in Project Piranesi! Consider it a knight saving her monarch from danger.

Thank you sm for the ask! Im glad I managed to get most of my points across in the comics wehe

[mayorwatermelon]

I’ve decided for some reason to explain exactly what it is about being stuffed that is so hot for me. Maybe it’s so that I can understand it better myself? This will probably be kind of boring for some people, but in the tradition of using this blog as a locker for all the feelings that don’t have a place in the rest of my life, I’m just gonna fucking send it.

1a) The belly itself, MASOCHISM: pain in a sexual context turns me on; the pain of being waaay too full, feeling my stomach stretched to its limit, the pain of indigestion

1b) The belly itself, sounds and other sensations: the sensation and noises of digestion, and BURPING (relief from discomfort)

1c) Visual signs; being very visibly round, distended, the difference in size, shape between empty and stuffed

2) Exhibitionism: the process of getting stuffed/bloated needs to be witnessed. This is why, no matter how hard I try, I can never manage to stay away from having some sort of belly kink blog for very long. The sensations are one thing, but without being SEEN, it doesn’t feel anywhere near as gratifying. Additionally, outside of the world of bellies, I have always had a kind of slutty desire to be seen and displayed for an appreciative audience. The idea of being someone’s eye candy is very, very hot to me.

3) Praise: related to exhibitionist tendencies, I want to be praised for my capacity, for how round and noisy my belly is, for how my burps sound. I also enjoy being praised for like, everything about my body. I am secretly (although it’s probably not that much of a secret to people who follow this blog lol) a little vain. Or maybe I just need a lot of validation. [Being degraded, described as a pig, all of that, is very hurtful to me because of stuff that happened when I was younger. Fortunately, almost everyone I’ve interacted with has been extremely chill and never assumed that I would want that (probably bc I am a guy, although I did run into some of that when I was on *shudders* feabie)]

4) Dom/sub dynamic: so there are certain situations and partners where I do enjoy being dominant, and that feels very natural, I have realized over the last few years that I am much more submissive. The thing is, I am also (usually but not always) much bigger (5’ 11”, 215) and (always) much stronger than my partner, so it always seemed more “natural” to the women I’ve been with that I would be the dominant one. And I mean, logically, if I can at least bench press you if not lift you over my head, how are you going to make me submit?

But it’s not all about physical domination! All the ways a could domme find to gain control of me without having to physically overwhelm me (or that would make physically overwhelming me much easier) are, in fact, much hotter to me. The fact that someone would want me, and to dominate me, enough that she would come up with creative ways to gain that dominance is so good. It’s hot because it breaks with conventional norms and roles, it’s hot because it means that a woman finds me desirable enough to flout convention and bend rules to take advantage of me and claim me. And the hottest way, by far, is taking advantage of my naturally outsized appetite to make sure I am too stuffed to do anything but give in to your designs for me…

5) The not very kinky but still very strong need for emotional intimacy involved in stuffing aftercare! Belly rubs are affectionate and good and sweet! It shows that not only do you think I was a good boy for you, but that you care, and that is just the best.

Anyway, this was very silly and self indulgent (so is the whole blog lol), but if anyone was curious about the “whole picture”, this is pretty close.