#so happy we're still making these things!

[drgnflyteabox]

red ochre [5]

series masterlist previous || part five -> kermes || part six -> madder

pairing: viking goap x fem! nun reader summary: big nun, little nun w.c: 3.5k tags/warnings: guilt, religious / moral turmoil, stockholm syndrome, child abuse (past), scars, simon returns, corruption (past), misogyny (past), whipping (past), blood, suffering (past mostly), power imbalance, freeze response (past), guilt, dissociation, dom/sub dynamics, we're learning consent (kinda? eeh), violent imagery, dubcon/noncon, vaginal fingering, choking, throat grab

When Johnny asks how it felt to go from there – the convent, you think he means – to here, you can only describe it as dunking your hands into ice water. 

Shocking, painful, and prickling all over.

He only says hm, and moves on. His face is pensive. You don’t tell him that sometimes, you wake up and aren’t in the water anymore.

Even in prayer, you hadn’t thought as much as you had since you’d been taken. Hadn’t worried as much. Teachings from adults since youth had told you that everybody was inherently sinful, even children.

So why is the community around you so happy without God? They have their own, you know this, but the multitude of them and their roles in divine hierarchy aren’t necessarily about absolute power.

There are woman-Gods, Gods without designations, Gods for the earth and the children and unions between people. You find it hard to continue calling them heretics, devils, when they’re really just people. Different, yes, strange and incomprehensible, but people nonetheless.

Heathens, you try to think. Heathens, devils. They took you

You wonder when the last time you thought of yourself as just a person was, when you weren’t a thing set within a rigid mold, beaten down in more ways than one.

On the eve of Simon's return you catch Johnny doing something secretive. He's hunched over the table, the tip of his tongue stuck out of his mouth in concentration. The soft sound of scraping, of wood gently knocking is all you can hear over the fire.

“What's that?” you ask, when your curiosity gets the best of you.

Johnny turns, one eye squinted, the every picture of concentration. He holds up a carved figure – a woman, it looks like. Ah, it’s you. Though hard to tell, the woman wears a veil and sits on a chair, hunched.

Your veil. You’d nearly forgotten what it felt like. It used to be a weight, heavy and pressing, a shackle. Now you miss the safety of not feeling so exposed all the time.

Somewhere in the journey here it had been lost, or maybe thrown overboard. Your habit, too, replaced for the woolen Viking-style dresses bought and bartered for by Simon and Johnny. Even you have to admit you enjoy the colours more, even if the conformity of the convent felt safe.

“How long were you watching me?” you breathe, eyes wide and still staring.

“Not long, lamb,” he smiles disarmingly. “Ah just remember ye, sittin’ pretty.”

“Working on the tapestry,” you correct him, though it doesn’t really matter.

He looks back down to his little figure, pensive.

“Ah guess so,” he says jovially.

“It was my punishment,” you add. This probably matters even less, but the clash of worlds has thrown you off balance. You feel unbearably present, unbearably lucid.

I was a nun, you think. Am I still a nun?

“Punishment?” he frowns. “Ah thought they struck ye?”

“Sometimes. But sometimes I had to work extra hard.”

“Like a bairn?”

“A what?”

“A child, lamb,” he smiles again.

You look into the fire, thinking. Punishment applied to everyone, not just children, no? Even Simon and Johnny had punished you. But who had given them the right? Had you, with your secret want? Your secret lustful sin?

“You punished me,” you settle on.

“Aye, we did,” he nods. “Ye needed it.”

“Then why do you… ah, disparage the church for doing the same?”

He turns to you.

“Ah think ye got it all wrong,” he says simply. “We don’t give it to ye to make ye hurt. Aren’t ye better after? Righted?”

Righted. That’s a word worth its weight in gold. As is the truth of his words, but you stay quiet and look into the fire instead of responding.

You take up Johnny’s offer to spend time with Kari. Johnny walks you there, holds your hand in the cold and blows hot air on them as you wait together outside their door.

When Gaz opens it, he hoots and hollers as if the frigid air outside has no effect on him, as if his inner warmth and naturally excitable disposition is no match for the cold.

You have to admire that. At least a little.

“Hi there,” Gaz says to you, a greeting softer than the one he gave Johnny.

“Hello,” you try to subtly peek inside, “it’s… nice to see you.”

He doesn’t take offence to your awkward, stilted attempt at politeness. Maybe he knows you’re not quite comfortable here, to put it lightly, and only claps your shoulder gently to pull you in.

“Have fun!” Johnny shouts, already leaving, “and give me my wife back in one piece!”

That makes you sheepish, but you try to ignore your feelings in favour of moving towards Kari and the little baby, Tyra.

“Hello again,” she greets, smiling. The baby stares at you, babbles ceasing as if she’s seeing you for the first time. Her little head swings towards her mother, hiding despite her clear curiosity.

“You’ve met me before,” you say softly, trying valiantly not to frighten her as you take a seat opposite to Kari.

“She’s feeling shy lately,” Kari looks down and tuts, swiping a thumb over Tyra’s chubby cheek, “needs her mama.”

Weaving here is not much different than weaving at the convent. Once you get the basics down, you’re threading dyed wool into cloth astride Kari.

Some spirit of confidence grips you.

“Will you tell me anything about Simon and Johnny?”

“About-” she lifts her head, “Simon and Johnny? Don’t they speak to you?”

“They - do,” you rush to assure her, though your voice maintains a weary unsureness.

Luckily for you, she gives you a small but comforting smile over the wool.

“You’re looking for an outside opinion? That’s okay, lovely girl, I just might not know as much about them as my husband does,” she gestures with her chin towards Gaz, who walks towards you both.

“What d’you need to know?” he asks casually, sidling up to Kari affectionately, “think they’ll be able to answer better than me.”

“I only really know… what I’ve seen. I haven’t…” your mouth twists as you trail off, frustration germinating as you struggle. Right, you can commit sins of the flesh but you can’t ask a question to sate curiosity — one which might be the difference between surviving and not surviving.

Knowledge is important, after all. Powerful. You think of Eve, who doomed humanity for it, naked as the day she was born and as clueless as Adam yet ate the apple anyway.

“I know they’re… warriors,” you pause, “since they’re all scarred, but—“

“Well, not necessarily—” Kari starts, until Gaz puts a palm on her thigh and gives her a look you can’t discern. 

“That’s not something we should share,” Gaz says tightly, but kindly.

“How else..?” you frown.

Tyra stirs, and Kari gives Gaz another look.

“Simon’s father used to be chief,” she lifts the babe back into her lap, patting, cooing, “it’s not a nice story, but if you need it to understand them better then I don’t mind telling it.”

“I want to know about them,” you insist, trying to push past the sense of danger, the sense that you’ll be hurt or killed for toeing out of line.

Testing the elasticity of safety here perhaps isn’t wise, but testing it might be what you need to settle. Knowing where the boundaries are, what’s expected, where they come from… you wonder if you’ll doom everybody, like Eve.

“Believe it or don’t, but we’ve only just rekindled the hunts, the raids. How it should be,” she starts.

Gaz sighs, leaning back where he’s sitting. You assume his hesitance is out of loyalty for his comrades, but you choose tentatively to ignore him in favour of his wife.

“We had a lazy, drunken leader,” Kari continues, “Simon’s father inherited the title through lineage, not through prowess as is… more natural to us.”

You nod slowly, trying to imagine. In the church, such things were often gained with corruption: any wealthy lords’ son could rise high in the ranks, if he had the money and means.

The convent had somewhat of a similar issue, though the women were ‘married’ into the church and the power rested in the hands of their families. 

Such was the world.

Not always, but you’d heard of it often enough. One of the abbots of the monastery in the closest town had been the son of an affluent donator, and thus received power of authority over the other monks.

“To make a long story short, and more respectful to Simon—” Gaz looks at her then “—his father was needlessly cruel both to his own children, his wife, and to those he was responsible for.”

“So, those scars…?”

“Some are from fighting, of course. But usually, no one’s getting close enough to those two to land that kind of damage. I’m sure you can fill in the rest.”

Gaz butts in here,  “or, you can ask him yourself.”

“How did that woman, I forgot her name, come to be chief?” you frown in thought.

Gaz takes over again, his hand dragging up from the small of his wife's back and squeezing her nape. It’s as much of a warning as you’ve seen, though it’s quiet and Kari looks sheepish, not afraid, “Kate challenged him.”

“A challenge?” you frown, “such as?”

“A fight to the death.”

“Oh,” your lips close, and thin, and your eyebrows fly up. “I didn’t realize… I mean, violence is…”

They don’t do you the courtesy of filling in for you, so you go silent and the air settles.

Johnny picks you up later, when you’ve helped Kari with a big portion of her weaving. You love the threads, the dyeing process. It’s meditative.

“Good ?” Johnny nudges your side, slipping a hand to just above your waist, fingers tickling the side of your breast.

“Yes,” and it’s honest.

He walks you home, hand in hand, and cannot stop talking about Simon's return.

“Ah’ve never been without him this long,” he rambles over the fire, stirring a potato soup, “think yer gonnae be witness to something dirty. Sorry, lamb.”

Only he’s grinning, and he’s not sorry, and you can see the front of his pants begin to tent.

Johnny later offers you that very same sin, tilting his hips towards you and swinging his cock obscenely, cheekily. You do not take him up on it despite the smolder that begins between your legs – you simply turn, and try to sleep through the sounds of his self-abuse.

Simon returns without much fanfare, slipping into the house with a seemingly practiced silence. He moves like a ghost.

Johnny doesn't wake yet, sleeping like an affectionate log behind you.

His gaze meets yours, as impassive as always, framed in a halo of white winter light. He looks handsome this way, though it also has the effect of making his scars look deeper – crevasses on his face for shadows to lay in.

You watch as he strips his winter garments, slipping then beside you, evening out the weight on the bed.

“How did it go?” you whisper. If he's surprised that you spoke he doesn't show it, staring up at the ceiling, muscles decompressing. Sighing like a big dog.

In lieu of speaking, he lifts something into your focus. Oh, it's a tooth, sharp and white. A predator's tooth.

“The rest tomorrow,” he says quietly.

You can tell he's tired. His face looks weary. How far do they travel for these hunts? You assume quite far, as it’s enough to tire even a seasoned warrior.

So, rather than speaking, asking him from which creature he took this tooth, you tentatively reach your hand up to press your fingers against his thick scars.

Simon freezes, as do you. Then, as he relaxes, you trace the grooves on his face with your fingers tightly. Very lightly.

A delicate moment is born then. Johnny's deep, sleepy breathing behind you, Simon's acquiescence – it's a tranquil thing. As thin as lace, as sweet as a crisp apple.

After some time, when you've traced his face twice over and his eyes are half-lidded, you speak softly.

“Why me?”

“You're beautiful,” he says simply, sighing again, “we wanted to.”

It becomes harder, again, to hold the belief of them as devils. That they smelled the sin on you and picked you that way.

“Don't you think it's cruel?”

“No,” finally, he turns to you.

“It was,” you assert recklessly. Fear twists in your gut, poisonous.

“You were scared.”

“Yes.”

“Are you still scared?”

“I feel like you can see right through me. That scares me.”

“Not at first.”

“Then when?”

His hand finds the dip of your waist. Squeezes.

“On the boat, when you pushed up against me like a wet kitten. Even scared, you needed it.”

“You were cruel to me then, too.”

“I’m a cruel man.”

There's a stray thought that wiggles to life in the back of your head that suggests sympathy for him despite his statement. That you can begin seeing the path of his life and understand how he came to be.

You think of punishment again; about parents and children, husband's and wives, about Simon and his father. That wasn't punishment, if you're understanding it the way Kari implied.

A memory strikes you, unbidden and unwelcome. 

Salt blows in the air,  metallic and thick in your nose. Not sea salt, not the wind you love so much, but from blood spraying. 

The man brought his son to the convent, citing his bad behaviour as ungodly. Sister Margret was pleading with him, hands clasped in desperate prayer and voice high, reedy, as she begged him to just stop hitting him – please, just stop hitting him!

The boy cowered. Not a child, but a boy nonetheless. Young enough to make an impression, round-cheeked, on the cusp of manhood. Stained with blood.

He lifted the rope, again and again and again, even as Margret leapt for his arm and tried to stop him, pulling, shouting.

You were stock still, frozen, not even a tremble in your body. Your eyes had widened when he first struck the boy and you’d been stuck since.

Simon takes your hand, peels it away from your dress, pulling you bodily towards him and out of the memory.

With your cheek pressed close to his bare shoulder, you murmur, “did you take me to hurt me?”

“No,” he says, sounding for once like he isn’t hiding anything.

“Did you hit me to really hurt me?”

“No,” he repeats, then, “I hit you because you needed it, because you liked it.”

“I’ve seen…” you don’t continue.

“I know.”

“We’ve both been hurt,” your voice is a whisper.

“Mm,” Simon confirms.

You think of the boy. Of his father. Of his terrified, deer-like eyes, blood splattered on his back and on the ground and soaked into the rope – about how four townsmen had to pull his father away for fear of killing the boy.

How you felt when you hit yourself, when the abbess hit you, how different they were to when Simon took his palm to your ass.

Shame. That had been in the boy's eyes that day. He had hid his face in his arms, cowering not only from fear but from being seen.

You’d felt that same shame each time you’d been punished, intensifying, twisting together until you’d learned to turn the same pain inwards.

 “Are you afraid of being seen?” you murmur to Simon.

“No.”

You don’t have to say the silent part; that you’re the afraid one. That Simon correctly interpreting your need for a different kind of control, one that let you lose yourself, felt like you’d been flayed for all to see.

Simon moves his hand lower, cupping the soft curve of your behind, staring at you, testing the waters. You know that if you said no, he might anyways, but you stay quiet as his fingers lift the hem of your dress.

The fabric slides over your skin, a whisper in the air, tickling you. He rubs his rough, hairy knuckles against your thigh close to where it meets your leg.

He pauses there, breathing slowly, before he slides a finger up your slit and through the thatch of hair above it.

“If I made a request,” you murmured, “would you grant it?”

“Make it, and I’ll tell you.”

He slips a finger to rub your hole, just outside, teasing, while his thumb finds your clit.

“I don’t want you to take me until we’re man and wife… men and wife.”

Simon hums, rubs gently, makes your hips undulate.

“Do you think you’re in a place to be making requests like that, love?”

“I haven’t asked for anything else.”

He raises a brow, sliding his finger inside you to the knuckle when you’re wet enough.

“Haven’t you?”

Your breathing deepens, hands coming down to hold his thick wrist, pulling almost subconsciously. Even now, you can’t totally let go, leaning away from him and the pleasure.

But he understands, leaning over you, using his other hand to pin you to the mattress by your throat. It’s not the nicest hold, but the burning of your lungs heightens the pulsing in your cunt.

“Think you just made a few requests right now,” he grunts, using your leg to rub his hard, clothed cock.

There’s a stirring beside you. Johnny groans as he wakes up, then laughs sleepily.

“Ah woke up just in time,” his voice is rough with sleep.

Simon hums, mmm, in that deep rumble of his. He slips another finger inside you, crooking them, making you gasp raggedly. Your hands still clutch his wrist, weaker now, but it’s half resistance half comfort.

“Mm, good girl,” Johnny murmurs. He curls into your side, cock growing against your hip, wrapping a leg around you while his hand climbs beneath your pulled up dress and palms your tit.

God, you could die just like this: fighting for breath, touched all over, held down and made free. The hate you had for them feels irrelevant, the fear, the brutal way in which they stole you.

You can’t even think about if Simon will disregard your request – your last frontier against them, the treasure between your legs for a husband only.

Simon’s knuckle deep in it, but still, you can’t let go of that final tether. Not yet, not without any other internal pillars to hold you up.

Everything else has been wiped away. Drawings in the sand on a beach swept by foamy white waves.

Johnny leans in and bites your shoulder, gnawing, hips moving against you. You can’t arch like you want to, but you try.

Wet, sinful sounds grow as you gush around Simon’s fingers, as they use you to get off.

When you peak, white spots dance in your vision, mouth open in a silent scream choked away by Simon's heavy palm.

It’s like flying.

In the afternoon, when you’ve all slept, Simon leaves to speak with John and you prepare lunch with Johnny.

More fish, more potatoes. It’s growing on you.

When Simon returns, he has in his arms a rolled up fur. Though unprocessed and still wet underneath, it’s beautiful, pale, spotted.

He takes a heavy seat in front of you, laying the skin over his knees, taking your hand in his and bringing it to the fur.

Soft. Dense. Your fingers move through the pelt.

“For you,” Simon says.

You look up at him, heart dancing.

His gifts. The apple, the orgasms, this– you don’t know what to make of it. Yes, it’s a kindness, but he’s a cruel man. He’d said so himself, and you’d felt the brunt of it.

Leaning into that cruelty has given you a strange power, a strange solidity. You’d so begun to familiarize yourself with his harshness that you’d forgotten this complexity.

You pinch the fur, feeling it between your fingers, breathing slowly. Your neck ached, but it wasn’t a bad ache; it felt like a phantom hand.

“For me?”

Johnny slides three bowls on the table, grinning.

“Yer first wedding gift,” he says jovially.

 “Oh, I see,” you murmur, but it isn’t a disappointed oh.

Simon leaves later again, full of soup, to process the rest of the hunt’s boon with John. He takes the pelt with him, a snowcat pelt you’ve learned.

Yet, he’d returned with not much more than scratches on him from travel. Tired, yes, but a few hours of sleep and splattering his spend on your belly had fixed that earlier.

You’d bathed, since, though the feeling was hard to shake.

Johnny putters about again, returning to his carving of the little mini you. A peek into the past, one you no longer embodied.

“Can I see when you’re done?” you ask, slipping your favourite wool dress on. The red, well worn one. Soft, comforting. 

“Course,” he mumbles, concentrating. Then, his head shoots up.

“Ye want one o’ Simon ‘n’ I, lamb? Carry us around?” Only it sounds like aroond.

You nod, walking on socked feet to where he’s carving.

“Yes.”

[hkthatgffan]

What's actually your opinion on Stanford Pines?

Oh, that's an interesting question. Short answer; I like Ford and think he's a great, flawed but lovable character who has endured a lot and come out of it a better man than he was before. Now, if you want my long answer...keep reading beyond this for why I feel that way.

Back when I first saw Gravity Falls, I thought Ford was okay. He wasn't so much a favourite of mine (that title then and still belongs to Dipper and Mabel for me), nor was I as interested in him. I did love reading up everything in Journal 3 about him and all his antics.

During the Mabel hate era in 2018, I did somewhat sour in my opinion on Ford as I felt fans were being too harsh on Mabel and not realizing some of the negatives about him and how Dipper and Mabel were drifting into the same direction Ford and Stan had become. I felt angry that fans were hating on Mabel and calling out her mistakes but downplaying other characters', Ford included.

But then, if you were around in 2018 and remember the Mabel debates that raged on then...you know how messy it was no matter what side you were on, lmao. Be it anti or pro Mabel or Ford, people really debated long and hard during that time and it's an era I'm glad we're more or less past.

In the years since and having heard more takes from fans who like Ford and get him in ways I didn't, I do find myself appreciating and liking Ford a lot more than I did back then. I'm still always gonna be defensive of Mabel and firm on my stance that Dipper staying behind in Gravity Falls with Ford was the worst outcome that could've happened in that scenario, but I see Ford in a lens less of hatred and more realization that...the whole situation was a learning experience for everyone in that situation. Ford learned something from it, Mabel did, Dipper did...all of them did.

To me, Ford is a character that is good at heart. Like every member of the Pines family, he's flawed and has made mistakes that he's overcome and improved from. And as we see again in The Book of Bill...there is one major new thing we really see that makes him all the better in my eyes now than he used to be!

I've spoken about this before when someone asked what my stance on Billford is, but I think as someone who has survived being in toxic situations with people who made my life worse the same way Bill was a toxic person to Ford, I understand him more so now than I used to.

What we see is Ford and Bill having a partnership (or friendship or relationship depending on how you see it) that was toxic. Bill was manipulative, took Ford and tried to mold him into what he wanted him to be. And Ford eventually realized that but Bill made his life hell for trying to escape. Ford eventually being able to and learn to find happiness in his family and friends was an incredible thing to see and that single thing, having been through such shit myself as others probably can relate too, changed Ford in a huge way for me for the better.

Ford to me is a guy who managed to overcome the worst thrown at him and be able to let go of that whole situation and escape it to become better. And we all deserve that. We all deserve to escape the Bill Ciphers in our life, find our Pines family and grow and become better and happier from that.

That is what I think of Stanford Pines. He's a character who is flawed. He's a character who has his ups and downs. But at his core, he is a guy who overcame adversities thrown at him and found a way to live a better and more fulfilling life with those who appreciate and love him for who he is. For a character I once felt no real connection or understanding for and more so hatred...he sure has come a long way for the better and I couldn't be more proud of him.

I know for others this may not be how they see Ford or you may even look at what I said and think I missed the whole point. But that's okay. Because these characters are for us as fans to relate and find aspects in them we can understand. Headcanons exist for a reason. To me, that's how I see Ford. To you, he may be something else.

That's the beauty of this show. Headcanon these character the way you please, without fear or worry of being told you're wrong. Alex has said no headcanon to him will ever be confirmed or denied...so headcanon and perceive these characters the way you feel. Because we all are Gravity Falls fans...and love them the way we do.

But FR, we need more Mabel and Ford bonding. That's all I want from this show now...these two just having fun and being awesome, lol!!

[alacants]

The source of those rumors is a guy from Carlos's family's tennis club who is close to Kiko Navarro & knows some members of Carlos's team & is a regular collaborator with Punto de Break. According to him (he's said this before) Carlos & Juanki had a significant fight towards the end of 2023. But the claim that they nearly split up back then came from someone else who's less reliable.

As for 2025, the first guy says Carlos's dad has apparently not been happy with what Juanki is doing for a while... but it seems like Carlos doesn't agree. If things don't turn around after clay season his family might push for changes to the team.

From my perspective it's hard to understand the coaching strategy sometimes. Like you said Juanki's strength is not tactics but it seems like that's what Carlos really needs. This is just one example but I think it's crazy that he sat on court in silence for three sets without suggesting Carlos change his return position v Djokovic - Carlos eventually figured it out... in the last game of the match. And that was honestly the main factor in him losing. You could argue Juanki wanted him to figure it out himself but why on earth did they not discuss that beforehand when it also cost him massively at the Olympics (which Carlos said he didn't even think about before the match?)

I know Juanki's whole thing is treating team like family but there are a lot top coaches who say that after 5ish years a coach has nothing to give a player anymore & I wonder if their partnership has run its natural course. Carlos doesn't seem any more tactically equipped than he was two years ago & his technicals have mostly not improved either (return... backhand...).

thanks for this background - after replying to some earlier asks i dug around and saw some folks citing punto de break but not any specifics so this is appreciated. this does immediately increase the credibility to me bc i know pdb values their access and would not jeopardize it for nothing lmao. tho if it's like, a guy who sometimes writes for them and is mostly posting on his own time... i guess that's somewhere in the middle. (btw i still haven't seen anything other than reports of reports of reports? if you've got links i would very much appreciate them!)

as usual i think we're looking at two questions here: could carlos benefit from a different coach, and does carlos want a different coach.

i think we are all in agreement that for carlos to continue to develop as a player he needs something he's not getting at the moment, whether we're thinking in terms of incorporating a new addition to the team or making a wholesale switch. and i don't disagree with you at all about the natural lifespan of a coaching relationship. i've cited this before in discussions of juanki's own career (stuck with one guy; was it a mistake?) and of ferru's (split but waited too long; chalked the delay up to personal feelings).

but as long as it's presented to carlos as an all-or-nothing choice i don't think he's there yet and i would not be surprised to find out that his recent post-match declarations were a message. (tbc it very much MIGHT be an all-or-nothing choice, regulars here know i have plenty of thoughts about the academy lmao.)

the thing is that at this point the unknowns are still really, really risky. if you've had the same coach for most of your teen/adult years and you're ready to strike out and try something new, then that's exciting and stimulating and you're in a good place to make the best of it. but if you're dragging your feet? if you feel like you've been pushed? maybe someone else could give you more, but you have to be ready to receive it, you know? if you're an environment that you know enables you overall to perform at a high level (4 grand slams), where you feel overall confident and supported even if you're lacking direction in some big matches, where you get value from your coach's presence above and beyond the specifics of tennis--it is inherently going to be a risk to make a big change and if you're not all in on doing so the risks will be even more likely to find you.

that's why i keep saying is that i don't see it happening unless carlos' results gets much worse than this--or, potentially, unless a voice that holds as much weight with him as juanki's (so, his dad) gets strong enough that he listens to it. that might be where we're headed!

(incidentally i have feinted at this without saying so explicitly, but there is an unbelievable amount of money riding on carlos' success or lack thereof--i don't mean prize money, i mean his brand as a star--and it would be naive to pretend that's not a factor in decision-making. that's one of the reasons i've pointed to a sustained slump, rather than one or two disappointing slams. when the results start to affect the brand.)

just talked this over with friend who compared the ideal set-up to darren/simone for jannik--supervisory coach + tactical/court coach. if so, then the question is whether they come to that same conclusion and get the set-up in place before the decision is out of their hands, so to speak.

[sunnirayss]

Pretty much, shifting is not something that has been proven or pushed as acceptable by mainstream society so by definition, shifting is "weird". Not a bad or harmful weird, just something that deviates from what is considered normal. But of course, the definition of normalcy itself changes and evolves over time.

It used to be weird for a woman to wear pants or be good at math, in extreme cases it could even result in her being accused of witchcraft and publicly executed. And if you stood up for that woman, people would decide you were under her "spell" and execute you too! But now, no sane person would find that odd and anyone who did would be (rightfully) dragged for it.

And I'm not surprised that people who were interested in shifting as a "trend" are now backtracking and claiming that it's "obviously fake". Because there was a good amount of "normies" who branched out into weirdness during the quarantine, while we were all stuck in our houses and all the regular, socially acceptable activities got cancelled. Normalcy was disrupted by the pandemic, everything was weird because some virus had flipped the world upside down...so everyone could be weird without fear of judgment.

Some got into alt culture and fashion, others joined fandoms for the first time, a lot of people even took the time to experiment with their gender expression and identities, and of course, the possibility of shifting to new realities had never been more intriguing! People had some kind of outlet online to explore new things and sides of themselves, they thrived...then the quarantine ended and normalcy returned.

I noticed that after 2022 or so, people really started scrambling to explain away their "quarantine phase" as they called it. Cringe culture returned and people started to punch down upon the very communities that had welcomed them with open arms not that long ago. Like many trans and nonbinary people said they were cis again, that they had always been cis and only thought otherwise because it was "trendy".

And now with shifting, it's not uncommon to see tiktoks like this with hundreds of people confessing that they lied, confirming that it's definitely fake and just lucid dreaming/daydreaming/psychosis. Meanwhile they're the people who tried the raven method for a week and gave up, or were always judging and feel validated that the mainstream agrees with them.

A lot of these people only view things as trends, they go along with everyone else when they think about who they are and what they can be interested in. Even if they truly are interested in something and it makes them happy, their fear of being "othered" outweighs it and they'll suppress their true selves if it means remaining in everyone else's good graces.

And the kicker is that if societal standards change and something fringe and crazy suddenly becomes mainstream, they see that as permission to resume their interest like something was stopping them before. If and when shifting is somehow proven as 100% real according to whoever they seek approval from, people will be scrambling to shift and dig up their "cringey" shifting scripts that they made back in 2020.

That's why shifting even as a concept is so liberating, because it shows that we are not bound to the rules or circumstances of a single reality. This reality isn't special when infinite other realities (often much better than this one) exist. We can forge our own path because we're the ones who make the damn path, everything else is just noise.

Shifting was never just a trend. If you get that, and I know you do since you're still shifting in 2025, then you will shift I guarantee it.

Yes because we're 5 and can't differentiate between imagining something, dreaming or literally living it.

Everytime I start liking tiktok it proves me wrong.

Don't let this discourage you people, shifting is very much real and everyone can do it!!

(edit: dreaming is a part of shifting! Go check my masterlist to read that post.)

[catadromously]

15 and 17!

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”? I have been a creature of many homes. I've come a long long way. I get questions like this and I don't know what to say. I love the place that made me. my first city, her bad weather, her sudden mountains that stole the breath. the cranes stood like film-still animals. the smell of her harbor. always the harbor. the way I knew two directions, toward the sea and away from it. knew them wherever I was. my body and soul were authored there and there I nearly lost my self. I love the forest and the cold tide and the homes beyond human that I looked to when I was a nonperson. I love the place where I came to life. where I joined with my family and discovered so much. our endless messes. burning bread and dirty shoes. secret notes jammed under loose floorboards. me and my best friends running through the rain at 2 am to break into buildings. making promises from quiet. making art from trash. making fire from breath on our awful awful grill. that house, that cherished center. my heart came from there. I am making my own place now. I've gathered close my family. I am so lucky, beyond lucky, that we were able to set out together into the storm. everything is still new but we're bringing home with us, we're lying in the fields under the light, we're high off our tits dancing in strangers' basements, we're dying in video games, we're feeding each other, it's us against the world and with the world and as the world. I'm a known ride or die packbonder and a sentimental little fuck but I truly believe I'm alive for this. 17. name 3 things that make you happy hand/fin homology, the subway, needlenose pliers

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 11 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

And we're back!! Yay!!

It felt like a year since I've done these but I'm so happy we get to see what happened after that ANNOYING ASS cliffhanger.

And omg after reading this, I genuinely had so many more questions!!

So without further ado, LET'S DO THIS SHIT

We go back to where we've been before, aka seeing these three goobers choking up from that damn blueberry.

I'd like to point out that this is one of the rarest times where we get to see colored blood in the manga. I get that we've seen them bleed before, but the red popping up like that really made me miss it 🥰🥰

😀😀

Hotass masochist is at it again-

Anyways, Grougalorasalar brings Yugo and Adamai in their memories 💕without their consent💕 and...he actually never saw the Inglorium damn.

Daddy Grougalorasalar already has beef with these two morons so just imagine how he must be feeling from the fact that not only did they cause a lot of problems (without meaning to) in the world, but they also got to visit the gods' realm before him.

This guy might have lived far longer than these two and even he didn't see this place before them....

But what actually makes me confused here is that bro not only hates Yugo but is actually curious about what kinda shit he's gonna do next.

Like yeah he hates Yugo for doing shit he didn't mean to but at the same time he's waiting for him to do more shit cuz he's curious. Does...does Grougalorasalar like to cause trouble to people and to himself??

Omg...he's such a slut for pain i can't-

Yugo....sweetie...no 💕

A huge part of me knew he was still going to act recklessly and charge at Grougalorasalar without thinking. But on the other hand, a small part of me mindlessly hoped that he'd be more aware of the situation he was in. But at least it just goes to show that Yugo never lost his tendency to charge at the enemy ever since season 1.

Fun fact, in french, Yugo is yelling at him because he doesn't understand why Grougalorasalar would cause problems to "good people". I love how we still get to see his kid side resurfacing from time to time because that was the most stupidest thing a grown man could say.

YES!! THANK YOU!! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!!

You have no idea how annoyed I felt when we got no answers as to why the other gods weren't present in Inglorium. I understood that it was because Tot wanted to explain their disappearances in Waven but I was still very into this mystery cuz it puts the eliatrope goddess in a bad light.

So to hear Grougalorasalar mention Inglorium's crumbled state makes me really happy to see cuz we get to at least dig on that topic.

OOOFFFFF‼️‼️‼️

NO YUGO HE'S GOT A POINT YOUR MOTHER WAS SO SUS ‼️‼️‼️

This is what I mean when I say that his mom needs to be held accountable, there's something seriously suspicious about someone who gives off weird vibes when they're supposed to be known as the goddess of LOVE AND CREATION.

I did not even think that Grougalorasalar knew about the state of the gods' realm, but it just goes to show that primordial dragons are aware of the world's situations and what goes beyond it.

But what shocked me the most in this chapter was that not only did Grougalorasalar know about the Inglorium being in shambles, BUT HE ALSO KNOWS WHO YUGO AND ADAMAI'S FATHER IS AND THAT THE GODDESS APPARENTLY INTERACTED WITH HIM BEFORE SEEING YUGO AND THE OTHERS.

There is a lot to unpack here just by reading these three panels.

First, Grougalorasalar confirmed to us that it was the Eliatrope goddess' fault that the other gods are not here. Back when someone asked her what had happened to the other gods, she simply dodged the question.

Second, Grougalorasalar claims that when the goddess got saved by Nora and Efrim, she went straight to her lover and freed him to take revenge on the other gods. This means that the goddess can, in fact, express feelings not related to pure emotions like love and compassion. She's like everyone else and does have faults of her own. This also proves us that this lover of hers is a very dangerous one. He's such a threat, in fact, that he was able to completely destroy the Inglorium and leave no traces as to where the other gods may have gone. We also got to know that her lover was angry. He may have been furious because the goddess had been imprisoned just like him. Why was he imprisoned? We don't know.

And third, Adamai doesn't know who their father is. It may seem very random that I'm mentioning him but it does make sense. Adamai had been taught and raised by Grougaloragran so he must've known who their father was. But judging by how Adamai seemed just as eager to know like Yugo, he never got to know who he is which means Grougaloragran, back in his prime, didn't know either.

But there are two people in Season 4 who must've known and those were Qilby and Nora.

The reason why Qilby knows is pretty obvious: he cannot forget a single thing from his millions of lives. So he must've known at some point who his father was.

And the reason why Nora knows is because she was assisting the goddess. Right after she saved her and had no choice but to leave Efrim behind to the necromes, she accompanied the goddess to free her father and then went with her to get the elite eliatropes.

If Qilby and Nora had still been alive, they would've explained everything to Yugo and Adamai, but we know that Tot loves to not reveal anything to these two 💀💀

Now for those who are not aware or haven't heard, Yugo and Adamai's father is not the Great Dragon apparently.

In an interview with Tot, he claimed that their father wasn't the Great Dragon and that the answer would be revealed soon.

So....take that as what you will.

Personally, it doesn't make any sense that he couldn't be the father because not only have we been told time and time again that the Great Dragon and the Goddess made the primordial eliatropes together, but we've also been told that he was also the one who created the krosmoz with her.

Now yes, he did take part in making the krosmoz it's just that Tot retconned the fact that he was the father of the primordial eliatropes.

It would've made much more sense if the Great Dragon was the father because it would explain why he had been imprisoned by the other gods for being too deadly.

But who knows, maybe Tot does have a good answer to all of this, and we've just never seen him before because he's a new character that had been hidden in the shadows all this time.

And speaking of Tot....

Remember when he said that Armand's name was supposed to be spelled with the letter 't' at the end?

Well...

THE CHAPTER LITERALLY ADDRESSES ARMAND WITH THE LETTER 'D' LIKE IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN ‼️‼️

You mean to tell me that this guy got so fed up with everyone from 'butchering' Armand's name when the seasons, the credits, the ovas, the mangas, and even the artbooks CALL HIM WITH A D.

Come on Tot just admit that you personally like to call him that cuz his name reminds you of a relative of yours. Because you make no sense when the show and the books have called him the exact opposite. Cuz if you keep doing that, we're just gonna break our heads and seriously wonder if we should trust your words over the canon source material that we've grown up with.

But anyways ✨️✨️

Not only did this chapter reveal that the goddess is sus, that we learned what happened when she got freed, that we know that Yugo and Adamai's father is not the Great Dragon, and that Tot makes his own headcanons, but we also got to see another character's name make a reveal in this chapter.

Why is Harebourg's name mentioned and why did Grougalorasalar tell them not to have messed with him. 😀😀😀

Look....

If his name being mentioned is because he's the official antagonist of Season 5, then I will die screaming from the top of a hill.

If not, then idk why Grougalorasalar chose to mention him out of all the antagonists that we got lol

But this does make sense! In a video posted by Ankama animations on YouTube, they mentioned that the antagonist for the season will be a new antagonist but someone that we already know. @geekgirles made sure to screenshot the exact moment where an employee had mentioned the antagonist of the fifth season here.

I actually really wish that Harebourg had recently been a problem for Yugo and Amalia because it would make 100% sense as to why Grougalorasalar even mentioned him in the first place.

It makes so much sense in fact THAT I MADE AN ENTIRE THEORY AS TO WHY IT'S PLAUSIBLE THAT HE'S STILL ALIVE HERE.

[moonshinesonic-moonstarslight]

More Little Villains!

MQF: So Shen-shixiong and Shang-shixiong ran into a pile of plants. Two of which you have identified as Parents Longing Blossom and Baren Soul Lotus, correct?

SQQ agrees while SQH is staring up at the ceiling dead eyed, two slumbering children tucked against him. (The trip back to the sect was... A thing SQH doesn't want to recall right now. The kids are definitely some versions of the ogs, though. Of that he's sure on now.)

MQF: *hums before directing SQQ over to be examined first, fully aware that getting the other three will take some time so first handle the one not buried* Did either of you recall any reactions or symptoms of any sort?

SQQ: *remembers falling onto SQH and feeling something in his gut at the fact his friend was under him groaning and whining softly, then the tingly feeling going down his neck and through his spine and arms, before seeing the growing red and black marks appearing on Airplane's neck and pulling the man out of the plants only to notice that he had the same marks on his arms* /gives description of events while not admitting to having a similar feeling in his gut only days ago when he ended up falling on top of SQH while they were goofing around/

MQF: I see. And were there any further reactions after you both got out? *Checks arms and gently prods spirit veins to check on the WOC)

SQQ: *winces at the memory of SQH coughing up green and blue goop, leaking black from his eyes, and the screams of pain and terror as the man clawed at his neck, arms, and his thighs. And the agony of white and green goo coming out of his own arms* Yes ../goes into extreme detail because he knows Airplane won't and he is rightfully worried about his friend/

Shen Jiu: *just woke up and is listening, bleary-eyed and tired he pokes Shang Si awake (SQH fell into a doze, he's so tired) and gets him to listen in as well*

Shang Si: *grumpy at being woken up, listens to SQQ describing the what is basically their rebirth into this world, rolls his eyes and curls back onto Mama's chest*

Shen Jiu: *scowls, turns his attention to Mu-shidi talking with the strange entity in his old body, is not happy with this but Shang-shidi has a plan, now if only the brat was awake to help him put it into action*

SQH: *unconsciously pulls children closer*

Shen Jiu: *still in the body of a 13month old, is starting to feel hungry, has been harassing Shang-shidi's cosmic entity the whole time back to the sect and isn't going to stop now, especially when the reactions are well worth the humiliation he suffers* Mama. *Pulls at robes* Mama, milk.

SQH: *dragged from his doze, and is so very tired of this insistence for milk he doesn't have* A-Jiu.. Mama doesn't have milk. Shidi could you please send a disciple for some? I fear of being assaulted and sucked on for non-existent milk here.

SQQ: *quietly* They have tried already at least once per child. Thankfully they are old enough for soft food so we had fed them, even though they were insistent on trying to breastfeed.

MQF: *wants to laugh, very much not laughing because he's a professional and Shang-shixiong's scary when tired and just done with the world* Of course. Shang-shixiong, do you have a wrist I can see?

SQH: *shuffling kids, tries to hand one over to SQQ* Bro. Shixiong. Tears or no tears, please.

SQQ: *takes Shen Jiu, because while he is willing to help he is not dealing with a screaming Shang Si, who'll not be happy with waking up away from Mama, if he can help it* A-Jiu, you'll be good and let Mu-shidi look over Mama without a fuss, right?

Shen Jiu: *hungry, not pleased with being in the arms of a man even if it's his old body, knows Mu-shidi has dealt with worse than screaming children, promptly starts grumbling and fussing*

SQQ: *knowing where this is going and one crying kid is better than both so he's making his way to the door* We're going to be just outside if you need us shidi.

MQF: *back from sending a disciple for milk and a few other things* Certainly, shixiong.

SQH: *exhausted and wants this over with* Not moving Xiao Si unless you want a second screaming child.

MQF: That's fine Shixiong. *Pokes and prods around sleeping baby* So, A-Jiu and Xiao Si?

SQH: *fully aware of the layers to that question* They respond to our given names and nothing else really. But calling someone Xiao Jiu feels weird when "Xiao Jiu" is standing next to me. And I don't know how to feel about someone calling a child who looks like but isn't me "A-Si".

MQF: Understandable. Now, tell me what happened. *Fully aware of he going to have to pull answers out, given that the man is exhausted and an exhausted SQH is a petty petty man*

SQH: *grumbles but starts talking*

{To be continued ~(^-^)~}

[flamesignite]

He listened to his words, waiting till he asked the question, of course he's thought about it. He doesn't just make decisions like this. He's never considered marrying someone before. He was scared at the thought of hurting someone he loved with his blood stained hands.

"Atem, I don't think you understand." He squeezes his hand. "We both have been through a lot in our time, and its obvious we feel like we don't deserve to be happy because of the pain we've caused people we've cared about. Yet, those people we love are still with us, still loving us and wanting to be near us. Do you ever think they would want us to be happy? I can say I never thought I deserved to be happy, but yet... here I am happy when I am with you. I had so much self hatred for myself and what I've done that I never let myself be happy with another person, but when I met you, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to enjoy every moment with you that I could." He admits softly.

"The guilt you feel still is understandable. I always feel it deep down, it never truly goes away, even if I wish it did. I really never thought I'd be able to think of marriage because I thought that was unreachable for a man like me." He swallows softly, squashing down the nervousness he felt.

"That was till I met you and you showed me differently, you showed me I was able to love and be loved by someone, no matter what flaws and choices I had to make in the past." He looks at him softly, but seriously.

"I've thought long and hard with my decision. I know what you've done, and I still accept you, flaws and all. No matter what you have done in your past and what we have went through when things happened between us, we worked it out and moved on from it. I still choose this, I still choose you, I want you. All of you. Some days will be tougher than others, but we're going to get through those days together."

He can understand why he was hesitant in all of this, because he felt like he didn't deserve it. Well, Roy is here to assure him that he does deserve it.

"I could say the same, do you really want someone like me after all that I've done? You kept telling me that these blood stained hands deserve to hold the man I love. What's the difference? You deserve this just as much as I do. I want to be with you, through sickness and health, till death do us part. I want that with you, Atem. I love you. I love you, Atem. So much." He squeezes his hand again, this time hoping he'd look at him in the eyes.

"I've thought long and hard, Atem. I want to marry you. There's nobody else I wish to marry."

"No, listen to me, please." Atem kept his gaze down and away, unable to bring himself to look at Roy at the moment. "I don't think you understand what you're saying. It's because you mean everything to me that I want you to know what you're getting yourself into, what you're asking here. This is a mere human you're asking to vow your life to, yes, but... Are you really sure? Me?" His hand began to tremble in his Colonel's hand.

"I've... kept you from your own world, I've hurt you so many times, I've caused you to put your own feelings on hold because I can't keep up. I've... been a terrible husband in the past. I've hurt so many around me, those I've considered near and dear to me. I was too late to save the life of someone I wanted to walk down the aisle with. I have enemies all around, and even came close to death so many times. Never mind I have this dark... thing inside of me that completely exposed me and nearly hurt you. Stop feeling for once and think! Is that what you really want? Someone like that?"

He closed his eyes, feeling his whole body start to tremble and his chest to hurt even more. "You can say it, and I can say it... as much as we want that we want to be happy... but it means nothing if I haven't done a thing to deserve it. I may... say I want to be happy, but honestly... I know that I've done far too much to others to even think about such a thing. Please, just..." He had completely looked away, keeping his head down so Roy couldn't attempt to read his eyes.

"Just think about what you're saying, who you're talking to. Is this really what you want?"

[sturniozo]

Dead Moon

Vampire! Chris x Reader au

Not Proof-read

Hey guys! I know I have two works in progress already, but it's that time of year where my autistic ass binges twilight 300 times in a month and I've been in love with the idea of Vampire Chris. So, tell me whether or not you guys like this and if I should continue this or scrap it! I'm trying to make it seem twilighty, but also be its own thing. So, some background. The vampire lore will be very very very similar to twilights in many aspects. I wanted them to be older than in twilight so I could include smut because let's face it, we're all horny sluts and would go crazy for Vampire Chris.

Enjoy my loves! Please give me your thoughts and feedback!

Part one

I never gave much thought into how I’d die. I always assumed it would be something normal, and far into my future. A car crash, cancer, old age. Surely not during my college years, and not by my own choice. 

August twenty third was my last day at home, living with my family. My mother helped me move the last of my boxes into my car, crying and hugging me goodbye. I was leaving for college, one that was a few states away. I loved home. I loved the smell of the wet grass and the sun that always shined. I’d miss Cali. 

I was moving to a state where the weather is always gloomy and terrible. No, not Alaska, but Maine. Gloomy and rainy, my least favorite weather. But I was accepted into the University of Maine on a full scholarship. I’d be able to study anthropology without putting my mother out of any money. She struggles enough, being a single mother with three kids. 

My two younger siblings, Carl and Rachel, are twins. They’re five years younger than me and spoiled in their own ways. Carl never listens to anything anyone says and just does whatever he pleases with no repercussions. The only tragedy he faces is his decline in grades. He’s a straight D student. And don’t get me started on Rachel. She’s a liar and a thief, and the reason I’m so happy to move across the country. I had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep her out and stop her from stealing my things. 

I never bothered my mother with their antics, she has her plate full enough. With a full time and part time job, barely being home, she can just barely pay the bills in the house my father had left us with, one that put my mother in debt as he left as they were still paying off the loan. I got my own job, so I was able to afford things for school, like a prom dress or maybe just splurge on some makeup. I was able to buy my own car the year prior to my leaving. 

I hugged my mother tightly after we had finished loading all my things into my car. “I’ll call as soon as I get there.” I told her. 

“Maine has terrible weather,” My mother stated. “What if the plane can’t land and-.”

“Mom.” I cut her off. “I’ll be fine.” I hugged her tightly once more before turning to my siblings. Despite their faults, I still love my siblings. It’s not fully their fault, they were only 15 at this time. They were even younger when our father walked out. Almost too young to remember him at all. Our mother has been working overtime for the past five years, ever since the bank had sent a letter saying if she doesn't keep up with the agreed upon amount for the payments, they’ll foreclose the house. So my siblings haven’t gotten to have much of a relationship with either of our parents. 

“Come here shit heads.” I said to them and motioned them to come over and hug me. My brother doesn’t hesitate, wrapping his arms around me tightly. 

“I can’t wait to have my own room.” Rachel said as I hugged our brother. 

“Can you at least wait until I’m gone before you make plans to take over my room.”  laugh as Carl lets go of the hug. 

“I’m sorry but I’m 15 and still sharing a room with my twin brother. I’ve been waiting for this since you got a job two years ago. I was hoping you’d move away sooner.”

”Wow. Okay, well you don’t get a hug then.” I mumble as I turn away from her. I always wished for a good relationship with her. But she turned out to be just like all the girls in high school I tried so hard to stay away from. But nonetheless, I love her. And I know somewhere in that black lump of coal she insists is her heart of gold, I know she loves me too.

“Y/n, wait.” Rachel said. I turned around to see her with her head turned away from me, but her arms were held out to embrace me. 

I hugged her tightly. “I’ll miss you so much.” I mumbled to her. 

“I guess I’ll miss you too.” She huffed in response. 

I let go of the hug. I stepped back and looked over my family one last time before I left for college. I got into my car, buckled up my seatbelt, and started off for the airport, my family waving me goodbye in the rear view mirror. 

The plane ride was tiring. I tried to sleep so I’d have energy to unpack at my new apartment, but it was difficult. I had always had difficulty sleeping. Most nights I would have been lucky to get four or five hours of sleep. 

I left the baggage area with all my belongings, thanking god that nothing was lost. I only had a few bags, as I didn’t own much. Of course, then I had to go find my car at a moving lot within the next few days. So, it was all uber and taxis from here. 

It was over an hour ride from the airport to my new apartment. Well, it wasn’t quite an apartment. It was a house, one that me and three other students had to share. Four bedrooms, each with their own bathroom and closet, built specifically for students. Almost a dorm, but believe it or not, more affordable. Especially since three others would help pay rent. 

I got out of the uber, where I met the landlord of the house. He held a clipboard and envelope, standing at the front door talking with who I assume must have been another student. 

From what I had known, I would have been sharing the house with two other girls and one guy. The guy was called Alexander, but he preferred to be called Xan. He essentially had the entire basement of the house to himself. It had one bedroom, a bathroom, its own living space and sliding glass door at the back of the house, where the ground had indented down hill. But it was also where we would all do our laundry, so it wasn’t entirely private. 

The main floor had one bedroom and bathroom as well, along with the kitchen, dining, and main living area. That space was taken by one of the girls, Maya. She was kind, supportive, and for some reason terrified of stairs. 

Then there was the second floor. That’s where Natalie and I had our rooms. And that’s all that was up there. Two bedrooms and two bathrooms. 

The house was on a street of many like it, each housing students from the University of Maine. And each of them, as I at the time rightfully assumed, was owned by the same man and his sons. 

The owner stood at the entrance. I made my way to him to greet him. “Hello. I’m Y/n.” I said to him, holding my hand out for him to shake. 

He looked over his clipboard before nodding, and handed me a key. “This is your only key, don’t lose it, and don’t ask for another one to give away. Keys are for residents only.” He told me, not even looking up from his clipboard. I grabbed the key, and felt his cold fingers. So cold they made me shiver. Does the heat not work in this place? It’s still August and it shouldn’t have been this cold. 

And it wasn’t. It was warm out that day. So warm I didn’t question why he was standing in the shade. He was so pale, another thing I didn’t question. We were in Maine, one of the gloomiest states in the country. This was probably the one nice day I’d ever see in my whole four years I was going to spend there. 

“I see you have already gotten a job here in maine?” He said to me, “Not an on site school job then like a dishwasher or librarian?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said, “I’ll be working as a waitress at a Cafe not far from the school.” 

He shrugged me off, and looked back at his clipboard. “As long as rent is due on time and you’re still attending school, that's all I care about.” He said. 

I nodded, gripping onto my bags as I began to walk into the house. 

“Your room is on the second floor, the one on the right. You’ll have a nice sized closet and your own bathroom.” He said. “One of your house mates is already here, Maya. She might help you settle in.” The landlord turned to me as I held my bags in my hands. “My name is Jimmy, and if you have any concerns or questions feel free to contact me, or my sons Chris, Matt, or Nick by these numbers. We’ll get back to you by the next day.” He said as he handed me a slip of paper. “They will also be staying in a house down the street, they all attend the University of Maine as well.” Jimmy explained.

I nodded in response, and put the numbers in my pocket to make a mental note to put them in my phone later. “So is this a family business then?” I asked.

Jimmy lifted his head to look at me. He smiled softly, almost a smirk. “You could say our family has been providing homes to students for hundreds of years.”

My eyes widened in surprise. Hundreds of years? What housing could they have provided at the start? I shook my head and walked into the house. It was best not to dwell on the tiny details right now. I needed to get settled in. The next day I would start my new job, one that I thankfully got over an online interview. 

I was a waitress at a very popular restaurant in Cali. My old boss had helped me get this job, as he had let me put him down as a reference on my application. 

It didn’t take long for me to settle in. I walked up to my bedroom, opened the door on the right, and was greeted with a bland room, with only a bed with no bedsheets, and an ikea bed frame and dresser. Honestly, I was thankful for those furnishings, since I hadn’t brought my own. 

I placed my bags on my bed, and sat next to them. I kicked my shoes off and started to root through my suitcase full of my clothes. 

My clothes and shoes took up two suitcases and a bookbag, my makeup in a small makeup case the size of a hefty purse, and my essentials such as deodorant and a toothbrush and hairbrush and other things were in a smaller bag. Then there was my school things that were all in my computer bag. No, I didn’t have much. I took everything from home and brought it here, and well, the things I didn’t bring, now belong to my sister Rachel.

I unpacked my clothes and shoes, putting them away in the closet and dresser. Both were less than half full when I had finished. I had put my computer on the dresser, trying to make it into a make-shift desk. I’d get one of those later, once I had made some money. I set my makeup case on the dresser as well, and put all my essentials in the bathroom. 

I started to make a mental list of things I would need. Towels, wash-rags, mirror, desk, chair. The last thing I pulled out of my bag were my bedsheets. I made my bed up, finished unpacking. I had put my suitcases under the bed after. 

I checked the time on my phone. It only took me half an hour to finish this. I left my room to make my way downstairs, hoping to meet some of my house mates. 

Instead I’m met with a taller man, one I know could not be Xan as we had all made a group chat prior to moving in, to get to know each other and sort out who’s room will be who’s, and house rules. Within getting to know Xan, I knew that he was far, far, too short to be this man. Xan was 5’4. He had express his wish for us not to tease him when we all finally met.

This man wasn’t the tallest, but certainly taller than Xan. He was helping one of the house mates, one who I later learned was Maya, bring her things in. The man had dark colored hair, like a brunette, but in a way that you could tell he was blonde at a younger age, and his hair had just gotten darker with age. He didn’t look too much older than me either. Maybe just a year or two? 

He was holding Maya’s boxed dresser like it was nothing, carrying it to her room. He didn’t look like he had the muscle to carry it with such little ease, but he did. 

He wore a red jacket over a black shirt, and loose fitting black jeans. Such warm clothes for the weather we’re having. I thought it was odd at the time, but didn’t question it. I knew people in high school that wore the same hoodie everyday to school, no matter the weather. 

He passed me as I stood on the steps of the stairs, locking eyes with me. He had dark piercing blue eyes, and pale skin surrounding them. His eyes looked sunken, like he’d never slept in his life but still was refreshed for the day somehow. 

His face contorted into a grimace when he passed me. Was I really that repulsive to him? He turned his head away from me as he continued to help Maya bring her things into her room. 

Maya was more prepared than I was. Or at least she had more things. She did bring a desk and towels and a mirror and her own dresser and bed frame. She came fully prepared to the house. 

The more the day grew on the more I realized I was the least prepared person of the house mates. Xan had already set up before I had even got here. He was just in the basement doing his own thing and ignoring everybody, which I would soon learn is normal behavior for him. Natalie settled in last, but just after Maya had finished bringing all of her things in. The man had left after helping Natalie, not saying a word to me the whole time, as if he was avoiding me completely on purpose. 

It didn’t take long for me to realize that he was one of Jimmy’s sons. I didn’t know which one just yet, but after I saw him get into a car with Jimmy after helping Natalie settle in, it clicked in my brain. 

Jimmy had said his sons were living in a house down the street, and that they attend the college as well. I wondered if I’d see this guy again, whether in school or sometime else, and if he’d always avoid me like that.

Maya came running up to me as I walked down the stairs to make my way into the kitchen. “Y/n, right?” She said. 

“Yeah, that’s my name.” I muttered back in response. She followed me as I went into the kitchen for a snack. 

“How do you feel about a block party?” She asked me. “The whole block is throwing a party for the week before school starts.” She stated.

“The whole week?” I asked. 

“Well, the whole week nights. All the houses are open doors and I wondered if you would be okay with our house being involved?” She looked at me with puppy eyes. 

I opened the fridge door and pulled out my bologna lunchable. I loved those snack lunches, when I still could eat food. “What did Natalie and Xan say?” I asked.

“Nat’s all in, she loves a party.” Maya exclaimed happily. “And Xan’s fine with it as long as the basement door is locked and no one disturbs him.” She looked down with a slight smile. I should have guessed then that Maya had a small crush on Xan, but at that time I was too wrapped up in myself to notice anything significant. 

“Okay, I’m in.” I said. 

Maya looked up with bright eyes. “Really?” She smiled big.

“Only if I can have the same rule as Xan.” I said. “I’ll lock my bedroom door and not be disturbed.” I crossed my arms, lunchable still in hand. 

Maya’s smile faltered slightly, but she still seemed happy and content with my answer. “Okay, deal!” She said with a smile. She left the kitchen, meeting Natalie in the living room, and told her the ‘good news.’ They both squealed in excitement and started planning decorations and themes. 

I took a deep breath and made my way back up the stairs and to my bedroom. Night parties for a whole week before school starts. I always hated parties. I never had close enough friends to go to them with. Even at high school events and dances I didn’t attend, I hated the thought of everyone seeing me in my loneliness. 

I sat on my bed and started on my lunchable. I opened my computer to put on a show to watch while I ate my snack. 

Hours passed, the sun had gone down. I was laying on my bed half asleep, trying to pay attention to my show but failing. I had almost drifted off to sleep when I heard footsteps and voices and music begin downstairs. I guess the party had started already. Figures, the one time I might sleep I get interrupted. 

I sat up in my bed, continuing on with my show. I made it through two episodes before feeling the need to stretch my legs. It wasn’t too late at night, only around eleven. I walked over to my window to give my legs a little bit of exercise, and looked upon the street. 

My eyes got caught in the stare of the man that helped Maya earlier today. He was standing on the street with a cup in hand, along with two guys that looked very, very similar to him. I was right to assume that those were his brothers. 

It didn’t surprise me that they would attend these block parties, with their family owning the houses on the block. It did startle me that as soon as I looked out my window, he was already looking at me. 

I felt a chill go down my spine. My hair stood on end as my lip quivered. The man’s brothers paid no attention to me, conversing with each other and presumably with the man who paid little to no attention to them. 

I took a step back and closed the blinds of my window, shuddering at the moment that passed. I walk back to my bed when there's a knock on my door. I looked up in confusion. I was sure no one would bother me, as Maya and Natalie blocked off the whole staircase. Only the main floor was accessible to the guests. 

I walked over and opened my door, and to my surprise, it was him. How did he get here so fast? Not ten seconds ago I saw him on the street outside the house, and now he’s at my bedroom door. 

“Who are you?” He asked me in a gruff tone. 

I paused for a second, confused about the question and what was going on. “What?” I managed to say. 

“Who are you?” He asked again. “What are you doing here?” He added. 

“I’m Y/n, I’m attending the University of Maine.” I said. “Who are you?” I added.

“Chris.” He said. “My family owns these houses.” 

I nodded in response. I had so many more questions. How did he get to my door so fast? Why did he glare at me earlier today? Why has he taken such an interest in me? Why was he staring at me from the street?

He stared at me for a moment. Glaring like he did earlier. He seemed disgusted and intrigued with me. Like I was a gross thing he wanted to figure out. 

I took a step back, uncomfortable with the situation. Chris seemed to take this as an invitation and swiftly entered my bedroom. 

He looked around, seeing the barren room. The soft blue bed sheets, ikea furniture that came in the room already. He looked back at me with the same confused look he always has on his face when he looks at me. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked. 

“Like what?” He said, looking away from me. 

“You know what I mean. You made that face when you saw me earlier today too. Like I sink or something.”

Chris scoffed. “Maybe you do.” He said with a smirk. 

My face reddened with embarrassment. I looked down and sniffed my shirt. Maybe I’m blind to my own smell, I thought. I smelled no different than usual, like fresh laundry and lavender body wash. 

I looked back up at Chris, who was watching me intently. I had grown more uncomfortable with the situation. 

“Can I ask you to leave?” I said. 

Chris shrugged. “You can.” He walked to the door and looked back at me. His eyes roamed up and down my whole body, causing me to shudder again. He made the confused and disgusted face once again before leaving. 

I shook off the discomfort before I sat back down on my bed. God I hope I don’t have to deal with that guy often.

Taglist: @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl1 @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chriss @carolinalikesthings @mattscokewhore @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07

[yourfriendlyfanperson]

A Chemical Reaction Called Love

Chapter 3: A Boring Life

~Pairing: Steve Harrington x F!reader

~Summary: Being the daughter of Hawkins Middle School Science teacher, Scott Clarke, has its perks. Constantly having to explain things to 'King' Steve Harrington wasn't necessarily one of them but it was something you had gotten used to. He might not be the brightest guy but at least he tried, and you appreciated that. You had big plans for the future, but they might be forced to change thanks to a phone call...

~Warnings: Sensitive topics might be brought up so reader discretion is advised.

~Word Count: 3.4k

~Authors Note: Hey everyone! Here's chapter three! Thanks so much for the love on the previous chapters! I'm still getting used to how posting fanfics on tumblr works so I appreciate all the likes and reposts! If you'd like to be tagged in the next chapter let me know! Once again you can find me on Ao3 as Lilpipsqueak and W-tpadd as friendlyfanperson!

Does anyone know how I can make the previous chapter numbers appear and be linked to this? I've been trying to figure it out lol

~Narrator's POV~

Y/n walks inside the middle school going to her dad's room, the place is very quiet, which is the opposite of what the school is usually like, there is a very uncomfortable atmosphere around but it's to be expected, after all, one of the students was announced dead, it's not something that ever happens or people think will happen.

"Hi dad," She says standing at the door.

"Hey honey, thanks for coming to help the kids by talking about losing someone," He tells her walking out of the room.

"No worries, how are the boys doing?" She asks him, walking next to him.

"I'm not sure, I haven't seen them today, they must be having a rough time though, I can't even imagine"

Y/n doesn't even want to imagine how they must be feeling, they're only twelve years old and have already lost their best friend to some terrible accident, no kid should go through what they're going through, but the circumstances can't be changed, unfortunately, and all they can do is be there for the boys so things are easier for them, comfort them in any way possible, and make sure that Will's memory lives on.

"Attention students, there will be an assembly to honour Will Byers in the gymnasium now. Do not go to fourth period"

The principal announced from the speakers, when it all goes quiet again they can hear voices coming from somewhere near and just as they turn to the right they see the three boys with a girl standing in the corridors.

"Boys?" Scott says as they turn to look at him.

"Hey," Lucas says, trying not to seem suspicious.

"The assembly is about to start" Y/n adds.

"We know," Mike tells her, "We're just, you know"

"Upset," Lucas explains with a smile before looking down sad.

"Yeah, yeah, definitely upset" Dustin repeats.

"We need some alone time," Mike says.

"To cry" Dustin adds.

Y/n looks at them confused, noticing they are acting stranger than usual.

"Yeah, listen, I get it, I do" Mr Clarke begins telling them, "I know how hard this is, but let's just be there for Will, huh? And then" he gets his keys out from his pocket and tosses them to Mike, "The Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day, what do you say?" he asks them.

The boys look at him with a smile nodding, happy with the idea.

"I haven't seen you around here before, is she new? What's your name?" Y/n asks the blonde girl standing next to Mike.

"Elev-" The girl begins to say before she's interrupted by Mike, Lucas and Dustin.

"Eleanor, she's my-"

"Cousin!"

"Second cousin"

"She's here for Will's funeral" Mike adds.

Y/n stands there trying to figure out whether the three boys expected her to really believe the obvious lie they just told her, and by the look of it they were sure she was going to believe it.

"Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor, I wish you were here under better circumstances," Her dad tells the girl.

"Thank you" She softly says.

"Uh, where are you from exactly?" Y/n asks her.

The eyes of the three boys widen as they turn to look at Elenor who shakes her head.

"Bad place-"

"Sweden!" Dustin shouts. "I have a lot of Swedish family" Mike adds. "She hates it there" Dustin mentions. "Cold" Lucas says. "Subzero"

Everything feels very awkward after that, Y/n and Scott look at each other, confusion visible on their face, but they decide to just move past the conversation.

"Shall we?" Her dad says looking at the kids.

"Yep," Lucas says as they all walk towards the sports hall.

Dustin opens the door to the room interrupting the principal and drawing everyone's attention to the five of them.

"Great" Y/n mumbles.

Dustin turns around trying to leave but is pushed back inside by Lucas.

Lucas, Mike, Dustin and Eleanor take a seat on the benches while Y/n and Scott sit on the chairs behind the principal.

"We have Y/n Clarke from Hawkins High to talk to you guys a bit about how it feels to lose someone, Y/n," The principal says turning to look back at her.

She stands up taking a deep breath, public speaking it's not fun, especially having to talk to a bunch of clearly bored and annoying pre-teenagers. Y/n smiles at the principal walking next to him and moving to look at the kids, most of them looked like they couldn't wait for this to be over, some were mildly interested or at least respected the situation, a very small group was actually upset, and then in the crowd, she saw two boys laughing, she noticed that Mike and Lucas saw them too, and man does she hate bullies.

"Can you two at the back be quiet?" She shouts glaring at the two boys, they look back at her embarrassed and annoyed but stop talking, "Thank you"

Now I could share with you the sad story that Y/n is telling the kids, but in reality, the anecdote isn't actually that sad, she doesn't even remember her mother at all, she died when Y/n was only two-years-old in a car accident, but stretching the truth for the kids to stop being little assholes wouldn't hurt at the end of the day. So she put on her best sad face and took ten minutes of the kid's day to share the story.

"So let's keep Will's memory alive, and show some respect," She says finishing her speech. The bell goes off and the kids start leaving the room, Y/n walks over to her dad, "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay honey" In comparison to her Scott obviously remembers her mother a lot, and he gets very sentimental whenever someone talks about her, it's a sensitive topic.

"Do you want me to go talk to the kids?" She asks him.

"No don't worry, I'll talk to them you should go back to class," He tells her with a smile, she smiles back at him and waves goodbye as she walks out of the gym.

Y/n walks back to the High School and gets on with her usual day. Nothing interesting really happens after, she just attends her lessons, has lunch with Robin, and then meets once again with her dad so they can go home. Her life really is pretty boring when she thinks about it, always the same cycle over and over, it would be nice to do something new for a change.

~~~~~~~~

The next day school was cancelled since it was Will's funeral.

Y/n woke up at 8:00 am to get ready, the funeral was scheduled to start at 11:00 am and would probably last about two hours, after that most people would attend the wake which would last about an hour or so, which meant Y/n would have enough time to go back home, get changed and then walk to her shift which starts at three thirty.

She changed into the outfit she had planned for the funeral, lucky for her she already had black clothes which meant she didn't need to buy new ones for this day, it wouldn't have been fun to buy clothes for a funeral.

All she could think about while getting ready was the fact she was attending Will's funeral, it really was happening, he was actually dead, it wasn't just a bad nightmare she had anymore, it was a reality. No one ever wants to attend the funeral of someone younger than them, they're supposed to live longer than you after all, so when that doesn't happen it's just so  heartbreaking.

"Are you ready to go honey?" Scott asks her as he knocks on her door.

"Yeah, let's go," she says walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

The drive to the funeral was completely quiet, neither Y/n nor her dad had the strength or energy to try and initiate a conversation, there wasn't much to talk about anyway, so really it was for the best.

When they arrived he parked his car at the car park next to the church, they both got out and walked towards Joyce and Jonathan who were standing in front of the soon-to-be grave. Y/n went up to Jonathan and gave him a big hug, she hadn't seen him since Will went missing, and she wanted to ask him how he was feeling but she guessed that was the last thing he needed to be asked today, so instead she just gave him a soft smile as she moved away from the hug and turned to look at Joyce.

She doesn't say anything, she looks so confused to be there like it isn't right.

Y/n wanted to say so much to Joyce, she wanted to tell her how sorry she was for what had happened, how she couldn't believe it was Will out of all the people it could've been, how he was such a fantastic kid he didn't deserve this, but she couldn't tell her that, not at this time anyway, "We'll be here if you need anything" was all she said, with a soft smile.

She turns to look at the kids, she expected them to be already crying their eyes out or something along those lines, but instead, they seemed normal, they didn't look upset or sad, and they didn't even look like they were hiding their feelings, which Y/n would've definitely found weird if it wasn't for the fact that the moment she saw the boys she just wanted to breakdown into tears and hug them.

"How are you guys doing?" She asked them walking over to the boys.

"We're okay," Dustin tells her looking over at Lucas and Mike.

"You guys know it's okay to cry, right?" She tells them.

"Yeah, we know," Dustin says looking at Lucas and Mike, the three of them nodding.

"Good, I'm here if you need to talk" She adds and they smile at her.

More and more people start arriving, but instead of people talking more everything goes completely quiet, and eventually, the funeral begins.

All Y/n is able to do is look down during the entire speech, she barely has the strength to look at Will's casket, it's so small, and caskets shouldn't be that small. In the end, everyone throws some flowers inside the hole before they close it.

Everyone then heads to the wake, there are tables and food organised in the place, and most people are talking, probably about something not even remotely related to Will, Lonnie is speaking to Mr and Mrs Wheeler, meanwhile, Joyce is sitting by herself, on the other side of the room Y/n and Scott are getting some food from the lunch table, when Mike, Lucas and Dustin walk up to them.

"Mr Clarke," Mike says, Scott and Y/n turn around to look at the boys.

"Oh, hey there, how are you boys holding up?" He asks them.

"We're...in...mourning" Lucas answers.

"Man, these aren't real Nilla Wafers" Dustin mumbles, Mike and Lucas turn to look at him as if he just said something irrelevant, which he did but kids usually do that.

"We were wondering if you had time to talk?" "We have some questions" "A lot of questions," Mike and Lucas say.

"What do you want to know?"

Mr Clarke, Y/n and the three boys take a seat on one of the tables and begin to ask the questions, they ask about alternate dimensions but not an alternate dimension where Will's death never happened but more about an evil alternate dimension, like the Vale of Shadows, and then they ask how one would travel there, theoretically of course. Scott explains things to the boys in the simplest way possible which is by comparing things to a flea and an acrobat, explaining how there are places an acrobat, which in this case is them, can only explore so much, meanwhile, a flea will be able to reach places they can't. The boys ask if there's a way the acrobat could reach the upside down, and he explains that it only would be possible by creating an insane amount of energy one bigger than humans can currently make which could open up a gate to reach the upside down.

"Science is neat, but not very forgiving" Scott adds as he finishes explaining things to the boys.

"You guys always have the weirdest questions you know," Y/n says chuckling as she looks at the three boys, she had this feeling that they were hiding something, that there was something going on with them, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"We're just... very curious," Dustin tells her looking at the other two who nod at this comment.

"Well make sure that curiosity doesn't kill you," She says with a smile standing up, "I should probably start saying goodbye to everyone dad, I need to leave soon so I can get ready for work"

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home?" He asks her.

"It's okay, I know you want to stay here longer talking with the boys and everyone else, and I have my skates anyway so it won't take me long to get home" She explains to him.

He sighs smiling at her knowing that he does, in fact, want to stay longer and that either way he won't be able to change her mind, "Be careful" he says.

"I will, love you dad, bye kids, you can call me at home if you need anything okay?"

"Okay"

~~~~~~~

After working for five hours Y/n was finally able to say goodbye to her last customer, she turned on the radio and listened to 'Old Time Rock & Roll' while she cleaned the cafe, dancing along to the song and singing the lyrics as she organised everything and made sure it was nice and clean. When she finally finished she turned off the light and walked out of the cafe closing it and locking it, she put on her skates and started skating over to her house.

She was glad she didn't take today off work because it actually helped her get her mind off everything that had happened lately, the cafe has always been a comfort place of hers so it made her feel better.

Normally she didn't mind going home after work alone, Hawkins had always been a very safe place, and she always carried some bleach in a bottle in her bag just in case, but after Barb's disappearance, the thought of walking alone at night was not so fun. So she decided to skate as fast as she could so she could get home soon, unfortunately, Y/n had her sleeves rolled up and forgot the fact it was a cold night in November and the ground would be frozen, so when she tripped on an uneven step she didn't just stop herself like she usually did but instead fell forwards on the rocky ground scraping her arms.

"Fuck" she says pushing herself up and carefully standing again, she looks down at her arms to see that they're bleeding, great, "Why is blood so dramatic?" she asks herself rolling her sleeves down, not even trying to stop the blood knowing it will be a waste of time anyway.

She continues skating to her home, and slowly this feeling that she's being followed starts growing in her stomach, she turns around to look behind her but sees nothing, she shakes her head, telling herself that she's tired and anxious so it's just her mind making her paranoid, she continues skating but the feeling doesn't go, if anything it just gets worst, she keeps looking around hoping it will make her feel better but instead she sees a weird shadow inside the woods, a tall, dark figure with a strange head; she picks up her pace trying to go as fast as she can while being careful so that she won't fall again, she looks back at the woods to see the figure closer than it was before, she doesn't care if she falls again she starts skating as fast as she possibly can, her eyes not moving away from the tall shadow that was getting closer, scared that she might end up like Barbara, missing and possibly dead.

Meanwhile, Steve Harrington was driving his car down the road she was about to walk across, he had just dropped Tommy and Carol at their house after going to check on Nancy, and it hadn't gone well, he saw her with Jonathan and was convinced that she was cheating on him with Jonathan.

Y/n was freaking out so much she didn't realise when the car stopped right in front of her until she is stopped by the car crashing against the side door, she looks inside the car to see none other than Steve he looks at her confused noticing she had in fact just hit her head against his car, he rolled down his window as she looks back seeing the tall, shadow creature leaving the woods and making its way towards her.

"Hey Einstein, are you okay?" Steve asks checking on her.

Y/n doesn't even take a second to think, her survival instincts and panic took over her brain, and all she does is open the passenger's door getting inside the car.

"Go!" she shouts at him, his eyebrows knit together as he looks at her puzzled.

"What?"

"Steve just go! Go! Go!" she shouts at him.

Steve lets go of the brake pedal and push's down at the accelerator as he turns to the left and drives away as fast as possible, Y/n turns back as she watches the dark creature fade away into the dark disappearing from her view. Neither of them says anything during the drive, Y/n didn't even know where Steve was taking her until he parks in front of a house.

"What the hell just happened?" he asks turning to look at her confused and worried.

"Someone or something was following me, I was trying to get away from it and then I bumped into you and I didn't know what else to do, I got scared I was going to end up going missing or kidnapped or something like that, I'm sorry I didn't mean to get into your car like that" she explains apologising once she takes in the incredibly bizarre situation.

"It's okay, I mean we wouldn't want you to go missing" she nods at him, "Is your arm okay?" he asks, looking down at her arm worried, Y/n turns to look at him confused.

"What?"

"Your jacket has blood around your arm" he points out.

"Oh, it's nothing I just scraped my arms when I fell," she tells him rolling her sleeves up.

"That doesn't look like nothing" he adds.

"It's fine I'll just disinfect it when I get home"

"You could just disinfect it here, we have saline solution," he says turning off the car and looking at her.

"Won't your parents mind?" she asks him, not wanting to bother anyone.

"They're probably already asleep, they won't even notice I just got home, we can quickly disinfect your arms and then I can drive you home" he suggests to her.

"Oh no it's okay I don't want to keep you up for longer"

"It's fine really, I was probably going to stay awake for a while anyway," he says smiling at her as he opens the door and gets out of the car, walking towards the passenger's door.

"Thanks," Y/n says getting out of the car and closing the door, "Who knows what would've happened if I hadn't bumped into you"

"Well, I do owe you big time, this is one of the thirty I guess" he chuckles locking his car and walking to the front door.

"You still got a long way to go," she smiles at him.

"Yeah well let's hope the next one is me passing my chemistry test without your help," he tells her with a smile opening the door.

Y/n laughs at him as she walks inside, "Then you've got a lot of studying to do"

Thank you for reading! Any likes and reblogs are very appreciated!

[theeternalbanquett]

Crystalline Scars

The Witch cocked her head to the side, unsure if she should get involved.

A Doll knelt in the middle of the road. Perfectly Still, serene as can be. It didn't react to the honking and swerving of cars around it.

An unusual sight, for sure.

Well there has to be a reason. Either way it's not my problem.

She turned to leave.

A thunderous crash. A sickening shattering noise. The silent screams of a Doll who can only remain frozen in place as its body is crushed into a fine powder between two metal beasts.

She whirled back towards the road and ran towards the accident.

Oh thank goodness it's not as bad as I thought. She lifted what was left of it into her arms

The Doll was in poor shape, but it wasn't completely destroyed like she assumed. It was missing both of its lower legs and half its torso, but the core was intact. It could be rebuilt.

It was a Beautiful thing, made up of emerald, ruby, and sapphire held together in a golden wire frame. Gently pulsating with golden light. The prettiest heartbeat she ever had the pleasure of seeing.

"...please leave this one here."

She forced herself to look away from the transfixing light. "What? No. Where's that ones witch?"

"Miss told this to kneel here and not move until she gets back. This one will already be in trouble for being broken."

Her hands clenched in barely restrained anger. She had heard of these kinds of witches before, those who treat their Dolls in horrific ways. Like less than the dirt beneath their feet. Toys to be played with until they shatter and break.

Some Witches don't deserve Dolls.

"I'm not going to leave that one in the street" Seeing the Doll start to protest she cut it off "I'm not listening to any argument that one might make, the witch is going to find any excuse to be angry at it until it sits there and dies quietly. If that is what it wants then I will put it down right now, but it has to look me in the eyes and tell me it wants to die today. I'll at least do it courtesy of making it quick and painless. "

It's silver eyes looked away for a moment, then it shook its head.

"no" it said softly "this one does not want to die today."

"Good. Now tell me where I can find that ones witch

----

The Witch was satisfied.

With more than a few threats the Dolls ownership was transferred over to her. She'd be sure to put in a report tomorrow with a recommendation that the other witch be restricted from doll ownership in the future. It won't do much but at least there'll be a record of what happened today. For now though..

"How are those parts holding up?" The Doll had some spares from its old mistress attached before they left. Nothing permanent by any means, just barely good enough to make it home on. She wouldn't be surprised if that witch grabbed the worst ones out of spite.

"They're holding Miss. This one estimates another hour or two before the temporary enchantments fail"

"Good thing we're here then."

She stopped in front of a brick townhouse. The front door swung open with a gesture and she strode across the threshold. The Doll did not follow.

"It can come in, it's that ones home too now."

The Doll lit up when she said that, its core shining through its blouse.

Gods what did she do to it? For it to be that easy to bring it extreme happiness..

It walked it and shut the door behind it. Then it waited expectantly.

"Yes?"

"this one is waiting."

"What for? It can do what it wants." She never owned a Doll before, never saw any need for one. Unfortunately that meant she didn't know what to do really with the Doll in front of her.

It struggled for a moment, clearly looking conflicted, so she suppressed a sigh and said "That one can draw the both of us a bath, we need to clean off all debris anyway before I do the Regrowth spell."

It beamed at her again, then awkwardly shuffled towards the room she had indicated while speaking.

Yeah those legs are intentionally the wrong size.

She grabbed towels out of the linen closet in the hall then followed it in.

---

The tub was closed to a smaller sized hot tub, and set into the ground. The walls were a gentle purple, with a flowing mural that bled into the floor. The Doll was fidgeting, but the hot water was running as she asked.

"I appreciate that one for getting things ready, thanks for being a good doll." It flinched as she patted it on the head but relaxed into the touch once nothing else happened.

"this one didn't do anything.. it was already on and running ..."

Oh. She had forgotten about that spell. "The House likes to be helpful too. That one did well by waiting here for me. " The Doll didn't seem convinced it wasn't in trouble but it nodded anyway.

She started to undress herself but partway through The Doll took over. She let it, then got into the bath.

She had to tell The Doll it was okay to bathe at the same time as her, and as The Doll undressed then got into the water she noticed a faint glimmering in the porcelain torso of its body. "May I?" She wanted a closer look.

It nodded, and obliged her.

She stared at it for a while before it clicked. "Oh Gods..."

It was an ultra fine webbing of cracks that radiated out from its back throughout the entirety of its remaining body. As if instead of using Regrowth it's previous witch decided to painstakingly put each piece back into place by hand before using some sort of crystal to hold the pieces together.

It had to have been an extraordinarily painful process. It must still be so, so painful. It was only partially sealed, each countless edge had to feel like a raw wound being scraped against a rock over and over and over again..

She took a deep breath, attempting to leash her anger before she scared The Doll with the force of it. "I can fix this if that one wants to live without it." She lightly traced the largest of the cracks, likely made worse by the impact of the car earlier. A blue light followed her touch "However I won't make that choice for it, and I'll always be available to remove this if that one decides it wants these gone."

It shivered at her touch, and shook its head. Good, it doesn't seem as afraid of me anymore.

"I understand." She dropped her hand "Well, let's get it ready for Regrowth."

She started by sitting The Doll down on the ledge in the tub, then removed its legs. Next she managed to work the patched sections of the torso out, exposing the core of The Doll once again. The water scattered the gentle pulse of the light from its core, and like earlier The Witch almost lost herself in the Beauty of it.

She tore her eyes away from it and focused on getting the grime out of the internals. It looked like the previous witch never bothered, you could see shards of broken porcelain on the inside of its chest cavity sticking to various unknown substances.

For the third time tonight she found herself wishing violence upon the previous witch.

The Doll was locked in place as she worked, its eyes closed. The only thing betraying its nervousness was the increasingly quick pulses of light radiating from its core.

And then, she was done.

"The hard part is over now. Don't panic."

She stood up and muttered under her breath for a moment. The Doll floated gently upwards, then rotated until it looked like it was laying on an invisible table above the bathing pool.

Its eyes were wide, but it did not panic.

The Witch smiled and patted its head again. "That one is being so brave." She closed her eyes and Called porcelain and all of her gemstones from her storage.

Her Doll was going to have a Beautiful Vessel to match its Core

---

True to her word she didn't get rid of the cracks.

The Doll stood in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing in wonder at the new Vessel it has been given.

The cracks still spider webbed out, but now they were properly inlaid with sapphire. It was no longer agonizing to move.

Its chest was embedded with rubies, yellow topaz, and emerald in the shape of a heart.

Its legs also now had bands of topaz running up them, its hands and arms had ruby shards embedded so that it sparkled in the light.

It was a walking piece of art. Its happiness would make all of the gems within it glow, sometimes blindingly so.

It truly was Beautiful now.

And its Witch refused to let it forget that.

[welcometoyunosworld]

Me and My Brother

𝐓𝐚𝐞-𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠 / 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠-𝐛𝐚𝐞

𝙎𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙤 / 𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩: 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬. 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘌𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵, 𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦.

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘕𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦, 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘵 🤏 𝘚𝘓𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘛 𝘑𝘐-𝘠𝘖𝘕𝘎 𝘟 𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘋𝘌𝘙 𝘑𝘜𝘚𝘛 𝘚𝘘𝘜𝘐𝘕𝘛 𝘉𝘈𝘌𝘚🤏💋

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Growing up with your brother, Young-bae, made you the person you are now. You still remember the times when you were still little, dancing and singing songs that play on the radio, even dressing up to look like celebrities to make things more fun and memorable, and it did. Times when you'd find yourself crying because he wouldn't give you some candies, or the other way around. When he's the one with a nasty frown while glaring at you as tears streamed down his cheeks, watching you have all the sweets, and innocently looking at him like you didn't just take all the sweet treats.

Oh don't get started with the toys here and there, you two would have two wooden boxes, full of your toys. Sometimes you'd be snooping around taking his favorite toy and claim it as 'borrowing' it and return it only when he noticed it was gone. While he takes your favorite dolls and ruins their beautifully styled hair, or ruins their clothes. You couldn't help but laugh faintly at that memory of you putting Make-up on Young-bae's face when he fell asleep.

And then comes the day you both became trainees, of course you also met Ji-yong, you were so happy Young-bae met Ji-yong. Their friendship really made you admire them, and Ji-yong admired you also for how you care for Young-bae, even though he does stupid things sometimes. You also became Ji-yong's close and childhood friend, you and Young-bae to be more specific.

Unfortunately you didn't end up being together in the same group with Young-bae. YG had made your debut as an Idol only, you really wanted to join your brother but been told it would be weird to be in a Boy group and being the only girl there. It left you with no other choices. You were as talented at Young-bae, you both always dreamed of becoming successful and rising stars. Making music, singing on stage, getting spotlight and making the world shocking collaboration. Wouldn't that be so cool?

“Y/n time to go, we're gonna be so late!” Young-bae tugged your arm as you both left your home in a rush. “Aaaaaaaahhh!!- You're pulling my arm too harshly!!” You exclaimed and nearly made him trip. “Forget that! We can't risk doing fifty push ups!” He exclaimed back which made you look at him in disbelief and finally matched his pace as you both ran to the studio like your lives depended on it, it did actually. This is your one way ticket to achieve your dreams, and you and Young-bae swore to never waste this chance.

Running through the halls and tripping a few times, you both made it at the last minute which got Ji-yong laughing his ass off. “I see they hate doing push ups.” Ji-yong muttered and looked at you then Young-bae. “I can do push ups, not her.” Young-bae whispered and earned a smack on the back from you causing him to grunt and hiss in pain. “It's true!” You shoot him a glare, making Ji-yong chuckle and pat both of your backs. “Let's give it our best today, just like we always have!” He exclaimed proudly and loudly just to get you pumped up. “Alright!! Let's do this!” You and Young-bae replied.

You smiled and paused the video, oh you were so glad they recorded those old days when you were still a trainee. You stood up from your chair and stretched a bit before making your way to get a little snack. It was only 11:43 PM, you couldn't sleep at all. You were just reminiscing about your old days, you haven't seen Young-bae for a long time now too, so you'd figure you did miss him.

And just as you were gonna take a bite of your chosen snack, your phone dinged. Checking it out, your eyes slowly widened when you saw the text.

𝘿𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙨 🫰:

𝘠/𝘯

Of course it had to be Young-bae, you really didn't expect a text since he did say he's been so busy ever since he got into BigBang. Not to mention the rehearsals, recordings and making the music videos and the tours.

𝙔/𝙣:

𝘐𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭?

You replied with a smirk on your face and your smirk turned into a full on grin when you saw his instant reply.

𝘿𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙨 🫰:

𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘶𝘴!!! 𝘺𝘦𝘴.

Of course. This was so new, you knew damn well he's scared of women, wondering what got him like this. And your supportive sister mode just turned on the moment he said yes.

𝘿𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙨 🫰:

𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘺𝘦𝘰-𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘢𝘦𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦.

🙏🙏🙏

Rolling your eyes, you replied with a simple yes and to let you know when he'll come over to talk about it face to face.

Helping him out for the love of his life Hyo-rin really was a stress to you because you had no idea if he was being stupid or he was that dumb, then you smacked some sense into him, encouraging him to be better and get his woman back and show her that he's really the man of her dreams. “Snap out of it, dumbass!! How are you gonna show her that you still love her like this? Sulking and hiding away? Get your ass up, and show her the real man you are.”

That definitely did smack some sense into his mind, and you felt proud of yourself and proud of him that he won Hyo-rin back. He literally wrote a song about her, won the MAMA awards not just Hyo-rin.

“I'm not crying.” You muttered to Ji-yong as he chuckled bitterly at that lie of yours, your tears are already streaming down your cheeks and your sobs muffled by your handkerchief. “Said you, with tears in your eyes.” Ji-yong said, his voice cracked a bit and his own tears finally came down. Between you and Ji-yong, you cried the hardest.

“You better treat her right!! Or else I'll smack more sense into your head!” You exclaimed as you wiped your tears away. Making Young-bae and Hyo-rin chuckle. “Congratulations, I'm so happy for you two..” You muttered, hugging them both and Hyo-rin thanking you for being there for Young-bae and Her. You literally helped them get back together just by talking some facts

Being his sister isn't just about that, there's the day you were in tears again when they announced that 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘺. You were definitely the best auntie out there..

As you smiled softly, looking at the baby boy in Hyo-rin's arms, Young-bae pats your back, smiling as well. “Thank you, Y/n. For your unwavering support.” He said sincerely, making tears form in your eyes again. "Ahh i just finished crying and you're making me cry again!” You whisper-yelled making both of them chuckle softly.

“You're the best sister ever..”

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Maybe i shed a few tears as i write this, but i am very content with this one!! Writing about Young-bae as an older brother gets me emotional 🙏

Hope u like this one Baes!

𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨, 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙙!💋

[onthewallwiththis]

its ma birthday! my gift to u are some of my fave quotes I've gathered from tlou fanfics!!

suitcase full of stars - @barlowstreet

"Three out of ten," he says, picking her hands up and rubbing them between his. "You're rating my bite?" she wheezes in disbelief. It's the first thing she's said besides apologies since they got to the hospital. "Didn't even break skin. You could do better.

one of my absolute fave foster fics!! and between such whump, this made me giggle.

A hopeful stranger - @two-birds-alone-together

A long-suffering sigh "I swear you were born contrary." "Nope." Joel glares at her as she waggles her eyebrows at him. "It's a finely honed skill, Joel. I've had a lifetime of practice. You'll never be as contrary as me." She grins up at him, giggling when he takes the now-empty mug from her hands. Joel snorts. "Now that I believe."

I <3 book shop AU, I also quote this particular one to myself DAILY

Oh mirror in the sky, what is love? - @boopernatural

"Joel." she sets her fork down and turns to face him, expression ultra-serious. "I solemnly swear not to get black out drunk, or have sex, or break anything valuable. I may do a bunch of drugs, it just depends on what they offer me." "Downers if we're lucky," he says, going back to his breakfast. "What does that mean?" "It means finish your eggs."

when I tell you i CACKLED

Ellie Williams' guide to teenage rebellion - @simoncowellstits

"You don't get to talk fake lawyer." she crosses her arms. "you're supposed to be winning my fucking legal case so I don't need to hang out with Kim anymore! No offence, Kim." "None taken." Kim says from her position near the door.

--

'questions about J-Dog.' do he and Tommy shit-talk me? did he forget how to laugh and/or smile in a terrible amnesia incident? does he know a lot of facts about the cold war or is that just his vibe? what makes him so grumpy? Is it just an old age thing? why is he so weird all the time??? why can't he just act normal and choose a personality? why does he care if I told frank I couldn't have sex with my vampire boyfriend on their honeymoon because he was too freaky with it??

This whole fic is so damn funny. In between some of the most heart wrenching story and crazy realistic characterisation I found myself in tears of laughter. I also quote the twilight reference almost daily.

Let me be your shelter - @messydepressy95

Not to be dramatic or anything, but she's a child of divorce.

--

Still, Joel continues to teach her to drive, and Tommy keeps inviting himself to their lessons.

BEST ONE LINERS IN THIS FIC

Inordinary - @heroes-fading

"Mhm," Ellie nods. "That's why every love song you've ever written has been depressing as fuck. All the mutual-ness."

--

"Just because it isn't seventy percent oat milk doesn't make it shitty, Ellie." "Thats homophobic," she tells him, and he rolls his eyes again.

the inordinary-verse is full of incredible quotes SO FUNNY

Lessons in wayfinding - @penandinkprincess

"Why so fucking nosy about it?" "Fatal flaw, I'm afraid," he says with a theatrical sigh. "Ask Joel. I had all the good gossip at family reunions."

Uncle Tommy is the root of most of my day to day happiness.

ANYWHO! I have so many more of these quotes saved, you'll never know when I'll strike again.

Pls lmk if you want me to remove a tag or quote <3

[inkshadow]

dax doesn't even bother to address the money situation anymore, hellbent on not taking anything from her especially when the argument clearly stems from something else. it's his saving grace that she's not sent him anything through cash apps and the like, otherwise she could put a pin in this with a few taps of her phone. "you sure that's not what you're saying? do you even know what you're saying right —" the light press to his chest does nothing to faze him; in fact, it makes him laugh that she thought such a feeble attempt would get her anywhere. with tessa, words will always cut deeper than anything physical and something tells him that would still ring true if she stabbed him right then and there. "what the hell is so wrong with feeling bad for someone who clearly isn't happy with how things are?!" her dad, mainly, but surely that's just part of the whole problem. is that also why she didn't care to apply herself in med school? "this isn't charity, i'm just bein' fucking honest which is something you can't even do for yourself!" even though their upbringing places them in two totally different worlds, there's one thing that dax feels she can see eye-to-eye on. "we're all alone in this fucked up world, tess — you and me. and if you can't accept that your god damn asshole of a dad isn't gonna pick you up if you end up in a ditch somewhere, i don't know what to tell you!"

"then consider the thousand as an advance, and i'll call you the next time someone's bothering me!" she throws her hands up with frustration, not entirely sure why it matters to her so much that he take the money. sure, it is only pocket change to a hawkins, but it's more than that. if he doesn't take it, then it's admitting last night was just about... spending time together. having fun without the pretense of some excuse for it. and tessa can't have that. can't allow herself to admit that she might like dax. because they're from two totally different worlds, and while he may have said some nice things to her, he still hates her. right? shoots him another eye roll, because of course he'd focus on the toilet. "that's not what i'm saying, dumbass." so what is she saying? her brain might be too fuzzy for logic. it's not too fuzzy for anger, though, eyes widening when he admits it, small frame launching forward to push pathetically at his chest. "well don't! i don't need your fucking pity, dax. this isn't some reverse charity bullshit." breath quickens with adrenaline and fear, because she doesn't like how close he is to the truth. "fuck off, my situation is fine!"

[gallawitchxx]

since gallavich text posts are having another moment (thanks @liamgallaghers 🥳 ), i thought i'd take a minute to shout-out other folks who have made/are still making me laugh on the regular:

@gallavich-textposts by @sluttymickey - [original content + reblogs of other folks's!]

@whatthebodygraspsnot - [truly a master]

@metalheadmickey - [reductress royalty]

@celestialmickey - [always makes me guffaw]

@milkovichs - [pristine gifs + hilarious posts]

@lev-calder - [also killing it with the gif/post combo!]

@gallawitchxx - [yes, hi, i have also been known to make some & you can check out my tag HERE, which also includes reblogs of other people's!]

be sure to reblog if you see something you like 🖤

[flowersandfashion]

sorry let me rant about downton abbey 10 years later

Thomas's conversion therapy plot pisses me off so much. firstly, it's incredibly out of character. he never wanted to change to conform to society, he wanted the world to change to accomodate him. the man who said "it's not against the law to hope is it" and "I'm not foul, Mr Carson, I'm not like you, but I'm not foul" would NEVER

secondly, from a storytelling perspective, the only 'problem' is that he used infected needles. did we forget that Thomas was a sergeant in the RAMC? he knows how to sterilise needles and how to recognise and treat infection. this also shifts the blame to Thomas himself for getting sick and implies that the conversion therapy itself is harmless (Dr Clarkson says it's just saline solution)

thirdly, it's not historically accurate. I'm not an expert but conversion therapy was not at all common in the 1920s, even Sigmund Freud was against it. hormone therapy and chemical castration were barely developing let alone available to the public (I can't imagine what else the 'treatment' was supposed to be). the only practices that I can find evidence of were psychoanalysis and electric shock therapy

Thomas also mentions that he did electric shock treatment - if you really want to make a point about homophobia in the 1920s (and make Thomas suffer as much as possible), show that instead. watching him be literally tortured for his sexuality would have been far more impactful than him just... looking sweaty for a few episodes