#so full of love today
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itās insane to me that people actively like my art!! what!
#i had a conversation just now with a mutual irl friend about how like#i strive to diversify the body types i draw#idk if i can post some of the stuff on here because itās [artistic] nudity but like#and she mentioned how she finds comfort in my art#and it kinda just like#woah#its crazy to me#art can really have an effect on people#so full of love today#ash gone silly
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The end of the year is near. Give a shout-out to your favorite mutuals and tag them to spread love before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)
ohhhh my god ok ok i wish i could tag every single person i am technically mutuals with because i adore every single one of you and your blogs so much !! unfortunately if i did that youād probably be here scrolling through this post well into the new year, so. this is by no means an exhaustive list!!
@elekinetic ELLA !! you were one of the first blogs i ever followed on st tumblr when i joined and i immediately. IMMEDIATELY. fell so in love with your scripts and your writing! you so are so insanely talented and such a backbone of byler tumblr and i canāt believe we get all of ur content for free. for FREE!! and not only are u insanely talented but somehow u are also so funny and one of the sweetest people iāve ever and ur taste in everything from music to books is so immaculate. will never get over u dming me just to scream at me ABOUT me which seriously makes my day every time it happens and iāll never EVER get sick of talking to you! ella i love you so much and iām so glad we started talking this year!! i hope 2022 has nothing but the best of the best in store for you <3
abby @strangeswift HELLO ! every time i see ur url in my notifs i visibly light up i stg you are so precious to me <3 ur love for not all the prayers is singlehandedly sustaining me, and iām so touched that long car rides have unofficially been dedicated to reading my fics. you are such a breath of fresh air and getting an ask from you is always the highlight of my day. you make me laugh you make me smile like an idiot at the tumblr app on my phone you are just so!!! PRECIOUS 2 ME!! i love your blog so much and i canāt wait to bother u so much in the new year !!
sierra aka THE @finalgirlbyers aka THE byler blog of all time !! sierra thereās just something in ur posts thatās like straight crack i stg i just need more and more and more and more every time! in my mind u will always be sierra loveqbrl madcleradin finalgirlbyers ft that one period of 15 minutes where u had ur secret username that just so happened to coincide with me running my tumblr stats website thing and u being immortalized as that forever in my phone. because apparently i reblog from u more than anyone else which YEAH. AS I SHOULD. as everyone should!!! sierra u are so fucking funny and your urls are just one of those that are so comforting to see in my notifs. one day we will have an actual conversation because i am so bad at dms but i could try and make an exception for u <3 love u so much sierra love bbq i hope 2023 is so good to u !!
@toystoryfan HI TOY! u are so important to me i hope u know that omg u are so sweet and so uplifting and i canāt believe i wasnāt following u before but i love your blog so much ! u have such a comforting presence and i love reading through ur tags and every time i get an ask or a reply from you i get so excited! thank u for being such a positive shining force, with me and all of my mutuals too, itās so so so appreciated <3 i adore you so much and i hope the new year has nothing but good things to offer u !!
@wibble-wobbegong hiiiii wibble ! i hope u know that every time i see ur blog i am just picking it up and holding it so carefully in my hands. i think i also followed u pretty early on into my tumblr adventures (or at least i saw ur url everywhere bc everyone i followed rbād from u !) so in my head ur like. an og byler tumblr blog. u are so so sweet and i will never forget u referring to me (in the context of how intimidating i am) as ājust some guyā because itās SO TRUE!! i AM just some guy! anyways. just know that i adore you and your blog is so so incredibly precious to me ! love reading ur tags love reading ur posts u are so correct all the time and ur icon is. well. iconic. love u wibble i hope u get one million followers in 2023 bc u deserve it fr
last but certainly not leastā irene aka THE @byeler hello !! i know we havenāt spoken one on one all that much and iām terrible with responding to dms anyway but . ohhhh my god i have been a little obsessed with you ever since i got twitter sjdksjf in a very normal and sane way i promise ! irene you are so sweet and kind and supportive and so insanely down to earth for literally being THE beansie! iām so in love with your writing and itās no secret how much i yelled and screamed into the pillow when i read iāll find myself in the moonlight š had to sit down and just. Think. i just started heavy hopes and. god. GOD!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH. !!!!!! anyways i freak out a little every time i see ur name in the notifs but u are so lovely and approachable u make everyone feel so at ease and i treasure every interaction we have! thank u for ur mile long list of reddie fic recs, iāve been making my way through them for the past week and ur taste in fics is just as incredible as ur writing <3 hope u have a wonderful new year irene i love u much !!
#/ask#ok if we are mutuals know that i love u#i just.#have been typing for 40 minutes and i need to move on before this post takes u all of 2023 to scroll through#god#so full of love today#kissing each of u on the head#so tenderly
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dinosaur in a lab coat - would you trust her with operating the centrifuge
#my art#oc#mockley#anthro#furry#dinosaur#i like the headshot especially so i'm including it too#unintentional redraw of the mockley ref from back in may. this is the natural mockley pose i guess - this is her official render#so i included the symbolism thing again with some slight edits#grhaggh i love her i'm ripping her to pieces with my mind.....my doddery old bint#okay i've got a lot to do tonight. why i did this today of all days i don't know but for people who want art from me#keep yer eyes peeled#also i'm gonna also use this for oc-tober. lol#for the monster prompt. mockley's a monster...literally to us and more metaphorically in her universe#also for ages i was trying to make mockley's species a dinosaur but like evolved. different and weirder#now i'm like embracing full dinosaur i'm too tired to make up a new species i can't....i surrender
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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i have lots of flaws but i do at least take a fair amount of comfort knowing that, if i were a customer NPC in a fast food/retail management game, i would be one of the chill early-level ones that can wait a super long time before they start getting impatient, and you breathe a sigh of a relief when you see them show up in a harder level
#buny text#was standing in line at popeyes today and they were SUPER busy and the staff couldn't even take my order for a while#and the guy at the till was like 'so sorry for the wait we'll get to you soon i promise' and i was like hey no worries š#and he gave me this look that i understood from my own time in retail to mean 'thank you for being fucking normal'#there was nobody else behind me cuz i showed up at the very end of the lunch rush i think#and in that moment i just pictured like. a lil timer wheel above my head that was still green and mostly full lmao#i love being nice to retail workers it's so fun
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Low tide
#artists on tumblr#visiting finland again#went on a long forest hike today#off road just full on climbing on cliffs and using trees to get up some paths#i always feel a bit paranoid about running into bears or something#but otherwise i love forests#nothing like the peace and quiet of an untouched forest#walked around a lake so it was easy not to get lost#as long as you see water you know where you are
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it kind of gets overshadowed by the horror of the rest of the episode, but. how funny is it that hunter Takes Off His Mask to yell at luz in the beginning of hollow mind. he's the perfect boy i just-
sorry i know it's my usual agenda rearing its head but i do think this is adorable. the Second the rebels are gone, hunter is like well fine. you just tackled me and fucked up my whole arrest and you're an anarchist shithead who constantly ruins my plans. but i KNOW you aren't going to attack me. for some reason i trust you implicitly. i don't need full armor here. what i NEED is for you to see JUST HOW LOUDLY I'M FROWNING-
#like on a doylist level i think they just wanted to animate his face. on a watsonian level. why'd you take your mask off buddy#'YOU WONT UNDERSTAND THE FULL FORCE OF MY GLARE UNLESS I MAKE MYSELF PHYSICALLY VULNERABLE'#i love them both so much. izzy rafi and i watched hollow mind twice in a row today so it's on the brain.#toh#hollow mind#hunter toh#luz noceda#horrible mindscape trauma pals#toh meta#...... i GUESS??
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I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THIS SEQUENCE Zoro looks so concerned
#the new art style is AMAZING#it fits one piece so well#i love how much homage they paid to the history of op#the sequence with all of luffy's fits got me ngl#WE SAW VIVI HELLO#i miss her#this was great my mind has been blown#i need to catch up quick#the fact the singer is the same guy who sang we are š#full circle moment#cross guild fans we are eating today#just a little snak#one piece#monkey d. luffy#buggy the clown#roronoa zoro#dracule mihawk#sir crocodile#cross guild#egghead
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it's hard loving yourself
#i can't keep lying to myself#how do you love something that is so unlovable#i'm poison. i come from poison. i have poison inside me and i destroy everything i touch. that's my legacy.#i pour alcohol into the gaping hole inside my chest. it does not heal. not today. maybe tomorrow. maybe it wont heal ever#smoke fills my chest . empty it can be#yet so full of your absence#im nothing but an empty husk of what I once was#and a big part of me was already forcefully ripped away from me when you left#hello hi im back with ghoap angst#can you believe its been a whole week since i drew them#anyways#gummmyart#doodle#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap#angst#implied mcd
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Person with no whimsy: Why are you trying to trick g-d with loopholes? šššš
#jumblr#antisemitism tw#personal thoughts tag#practicing judaism because i am chock FULL of whimsy wonder joy and a zeal for life#i know we talk at length about this but my whimsy is whimsy-ing#also i don't think you even NEED to do these things 'for' g-d#i'm not becoming jewish for g-d. i do it out of love for g-d but that's not my reason (or my biggest reason)#i'm doing this for me. would that blow your mind to know...#conversion is partially a selfish desire to have the Most fun and fulfillment#this is something i genuinely believe in but i have learned to chase happiness and wonder#judaism captured my soul in that way. i find beauty and comfort and fulfillment and peace in this#g-d plays a role in my life but i know He knows we are people. we live for ourselves and each other#i made this post three days ago in a vaguepost about seeing this yet AGAIN. and i saw it again today (08/21) so#time to vaguepost in a petty way. because i love judaism and this annoys me
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what a wild week
#thank u mcytblr sexyman mods#i love u sm#mcyt#mcytblr#joe hills#mcytblr sexymen#mcytblr sexymen poll#full size for best quality#i started this LAST WEEK so i could have it ready to go today
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CHINAS IN CHAPTER 525.... THERE IS A TOTAL OF 35 DIFFERENT CHINAS IN THIS CHAPTER!!!! i think i just experienced the most ethereal feeling ever in my entire life
couldn't fit all the chinas because of tumblr's limit... so here is the other post with the last 5.. thank u to ramen on discord pointing out a china i have missed
#I HAVE ASCENDED TO THE HEAVEN AND SIPPED THE WINE OF THE GODS#AND SOON I WILL DESCEND BACK DOWN TO EARTH#KNOWING FULL WELL I WILL NEVER BE BASKED IN THIS GLORY AGAIN FOR ALL OF ETERNITY#BUT FOR NOW... I AM PART OF THE LORD'S CATHEDRAL AND TODAY I SING IN HIS CHOIR#FOR THIS MOMENT.. RIGHT NOW... THE WORLD IS STILL WITH THE RELEASED DOVE#SIGNIFYING PEACE AND HEAVEN ON EARTH#I WAS NEVER MADE THIS HANDLE THIS MUCH CHINA AT ONCE!!!!!!!#THANK YOU HIDEKAZ HOMORUYA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#hetalia#aph china#hws china#yao wmag#hetalia gangsta#hetalia china#wang yao#all the china tags#I LOVE YOU CHINA#ANYWAYS IM SO SCARED FOR NEXT WEWK#soup rambles
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HOLM NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING
#i love this man#the holm nation was fed today#what can i say#i love him#dungeon meshi#holm#holm dungeon meshi#holm kranom#on the last onr she's saying#āholm you better protect me against this witchā#she is in full cat mode#my shit#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#holm nation#reblog this so our empire cab grow and conquer the dunmeshi fandom
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bucket of wings and a large coke please
#yk its full render which is a rare treat so it deserves to be posted here#one day im going to gaslight myself into loving coloring and rendering and allat stuff#not today#fanart#lololowka#lololoshka#cringe#jodah#Š“Š¶Š¾Š“Š°Ń
#Š»Š¾Š»Š¾Š»Š¾ŃŠŗŠ°#art#funfact i have no idea who this guy is too
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Eloiseš„¹š
#still figuring out how to use color!!!!!! and what better test subject than my angel#this is actually for chapter 1 of my fic#eloise in her muggle clothing#I just scrolled through Pinterest super fast looking at various Victorian clothes and then I was just like#š¤·āāļø white dress grey skirt it isšš#I love switching up her clothes in different drawings thoughā¦sometimes poofy sleeve blouse & skirtā¦#sometimes full robes sometimes the super cute plaid jacket and skirtā¦#NEVER PANTS THOUGHš³š³š³ damnā¦can you imagineā¦Eloise showing off her LEGSš³š³š³#I think Iāll post chapter 1 here soon/update it on ao3š„°š„°#also I have a bajillion more paintings started so hopefully I get faster at this#as color choice and the different steps become more comfortablešš#this isnāt perfect but overall I am happy!! and the next will hopefully be better#my plans are finish the Bea/leo cĆ³micš„°š„°š„°š„° and I also have a quidditch Sebastian painting#and a painting of Sebastian in herbology classā¦you know the oneš#ok thatās all my hashtags for today#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#oh btw this is a redo of one of my first ever pictures I drew of herš„°š„°š³ u can find it somewhere on this disaster blogā¦..
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Submas gang still says winning y'all
Uncolored sketch under cut
#samdragon57#my arts#traditional art#pokemon#submas#pokemon masters ex#pokemas#i freaking love their new suits so much fr i adore them and their marching band uniforms#was gonna do full inked and colored drawings but#that did not happen and i really liked the sketches as they were#maybe another time I'll do a fully done out thing#but not today
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