#so full of love today
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astrobei · 2 years ago
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The end of the year is near. Give a shout-out to your favorite mutuals and tag them to spread love before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)
ohhhh my god ok ok i wish i could tag every single person i am technically mutuals with because i adore every single one of you and your blogs so much !! unfortunately if i did that you’d probably be here scrolling through this post well into the new year, so. this is by no means an exhaustive list!!
@elekinetic ELLA !! you were one of the first blogs i ever followed on st tumblr when i joined and i immediately. IMMEDIATELY. fell so in love with your scripts and your writing! you so are so insanely talented and such a backbone of byler tumblr and i can’t believe we get all of ur content for free. for FREE!! and not only are u insanely talented but somehow u are also so funny and one of the sweetest people i’ve ever and ur taste in everything from music to books is so immaculate. will never get over u dming me just to scream at me ABOUT me which seriously makes my day every time it happens and i’ll never EVER get sick of talking to you! ella i love you so much and i’m so glad we started talking this year!! i hope 2022 has nothing but the best of the best in store for you <3
abby @strangeswift HELLO ! every time i see ur url in my notifs i visibly light up i stg you are so precious to me <3 ur love for not all the prayers is singlehandedly sustaining me, and i’m so touched that long car rides have unofficially been dedicated to reading my fics. you are such a breath of fresh air and getting an ask from you is always the highlight of my day. you make me laugh you make me smile like an idiot at the tumblr app on my phone you are just so!!! PRECIOUS 2 ME!! i love your blog so much and i can’t wait to bother u so much in the new year !!
sierra aka THE @finalgirlbyers aka THE byler blog of all time !! sierra there’s just something in ur posts that’s like straight crack i stg i just need more and more and more and more every time! in my mind u will always be sierra loveqbrl madcleradin finalgirlbyers ft that one period of 15 minutes where u had ur secret username that just so happened to coincide with me running my tumblr stats website thing and u being immortalized as that forever in my phone. because apparently i reblog from u more than anyone else which YEAH. AS I SHOULD. as everyone should!!! sierra u are so fucking funny and your urls are just one of those that are so comforting to see in my notifs. one day we will have an actual conversation because i am so bad at dms but i could try and make an exception for u <3 love u so much sierra love bbq i hope 2023 is so good to u !!
@toystoryfan HI TOY! u are so important to me i hope u know that omg u are so sweet and so uplifting and i can’t believe i wasn’t following u before but i love your blog so much ! u have such a comforting presence and i love reading through ur tags and every time i get an ask or a reply from you i get so excited! thank u for being such a positive shining force, with me and all of my mutuals too, it’s so so so appreciated <3 i adore you so much and i hope the new year has nothing but good things to offer u !!
@wibble-wobbegong hiiiii wibble ! i hope u know that every time i see ur blog i am just picking it up and holding it so carefully in my hands. i think i also followed u pretty early on into my tumblr adventures (or at least i saw ur url everywhere bc everyone i followed rb’d from u !) so in my head ur like. an og byler tumblr blog. u are so so sweet and i will never forget u referring to me (in the context of how intimidating i am) as “just some guy” because it’s SO TRUE!! i AM just some guy! anyways. just know that i adore you and your blog is so so incredibly precious to me ! love reading ur tags love reading ur posts u are so correct all the time and ur icon is. well. iconic. love u wibble i hope u get one million followers in 2023 bc u deserve it fr
last but certainly not least— irene aka THE @byeler hello !! i know we haven’t spoken one on one all that much and i’m terrible with responding to dms anyway but . ohhhh my god i have been a little obsessed with you ever since i got twitter sjdksjf in a very normal and sane way i promise ! irene you are so sweet and kind and supportive and so insanely down to earth for literally being THE beansie! i’m so in love with your writing and it’s no secret how much i yelled and screamed into the pillow when i read i’ll find myself in the moonlight 😭 had to sit down and just. Think. i just started heavy hopes and. god. GOD!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH. !!!!!! anyways i freak out a little every time i see ur name in the notifs but u are so lovely and approachable u make everyone feel so at ease and i treasure every interaction we have! thank u for ur mile long list of reddie fic recs, i’ve been making my way through them for the past week and ur taste in fics is just as incredible as ur writing <3 hope u have a wonderful new year irene i love u much !!
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chalkrub · 2 months ago
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dinosaur in a lab coat - would you trust her with operating the centrifuge
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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taffywabbit · 2 years ago
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i have lots of flaws but i do at least take a fair amount of comfort knowing that, if i were a customer NPC in a fast food/retail management game, i would be one of the chill early-level ones that can wait a super long time before they start getting impatient, and you breathe a sigh of a relief when you see them show up in a harder level
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ionomycin · 6 months ago
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Low tide
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crimeronan · 5 months ago
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it kind of gets overshadowed by the horror of the rest of the episode, but. how funny is it that hunter Takes Off His Mask to yell at luz in the beginning of hollow mind. he's the perfect boy i just-
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sorry i know it's my usual agenda rearing its head but i do think this is adorable. the Second the rebels are gone, hunter is like well fine. you just tackled me and fucked up my whole arrest and you're an anarchist shithead who constantly ruins my plans. but i KNOW you aren't going to attack me. for some reason i trust you implicitly. i don't need full armor here. what i NEED is for you to see JUST HOW LOUDLY I'M FROWNING-
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aimbutmiss · 1 year ago
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I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THIS SEQUENCE Zoro looks so concerned
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nicsian · 1 month ago
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Ohhh the Big Bad Wolf Pearl trailing Red Riding Hood Gem everywhere because she's just so hungry.. she just wants to take Gem's life once and for all because wolves feed and Pearl wants to bite.
But the Red Riding Hood is just too clever, knows all of the wolf's tricks and traps, knows when to move and when to irritate, because nothing is more fun than a silly goose chase, right?
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gomzdrawfr · 11 months ago
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it's hard loving yourself
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shalom-iamcominghome · 4 months ago
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Person with no whimsy: Why are you trying to trick g-d with loopholes? 🙄🙄🙄🙄
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thanotaphobia · 2 years ago
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o7
what a wild week
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soupandflowers · 6 months ago
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CHINAS IN CHAPTER 525.... THERE IS A TOTAL OF 35 DIFFERENT CHINAS IN THIS CHAPTER!!!! i think i just experienced the most ethereal feeling ever in my entire life
couldn't fit all the chinas because of tumblr's limit... so here is the other post with the last 5.. thank u to ramen on discord pointing out a china i have missed
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littlelightfish · 8 months ago
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HOLM NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING
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morastfrck · 5 months ago
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bucket of wings and a large coke please
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myokk · 5 months ago
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Eloise🥹💓
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samdragons-official-art · 2 months ago
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Submas gang still says winning y'all
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Uncolored sketch under cut
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