#how do you love something that is so unlovable
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starspangledbatter · 1 day ago
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⭐️ “Dead Wife Rag”???: The Amazing Digital Circus Theory ⭐️
⭐️ About a day or two ago, Gooseworx released the entire soundtrack of episodes 3 and 4. Excited, I went and prepared to explore each and every one of the tracks individually. That is, until something strange caught my eye. This thing specifically, was a name for one of the latest tracks titled “Dead Wife Rag”. ⭐️
Now, this name could simply just mean rag. Rag as in a syncopated rhythm. But what if “Dead Wife Rag” is actually a double entendre? Let me explain…
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🌟 You see, Gooseworx seems to title her tracks based off of the scene her tunes takes place in. “Character Quirks” plays during the living room scene where the characters show off what happens when they don’t breathe. “Still Friends” plays during the moment where Zooble comforts Gangle and admits that they are still Gangle’s friend, regardless of what happened at Spudsy’s. ⭐️
Now, knowing this information, the time and place where Gooseworx’s tracks take place seem to hold prominence in the track’s title names. So, knowing this, where exactly does “Dead Wife Rag” play within the series?
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⭐️ Here. This is the scene where this track plays. The scene where a dead wife, Martha Mildenhall, explains to Ragatha that her husband accidentally kills her with his gun, while telling her about men and their “silliest priorities”. This scene follows with Ragatha turning to Jax, agreeing with Martha that she knows the feeling of dealing with a man who puts his own feelings over anyone else’s. ⭐️
Now, why does this matter? Well, what if I were to tell you that “Dead Wife Rag” actually means “Dead Wife Ragatha”, and that’s what makes the name a double entendre. This isn’t just my Bunnydoll bias speaking here. I actually mean it. Consider this.
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⭐️ Jax’s episode is described as “guns!”. A gun is the thing that Baron uses to kill Martha, resulting in her demise ⭐️
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⭐️ Gooseworx has said in the past that she “apologizes to the Bunnydoll shippers”, meaning that there’s something that could happen in the future that may strain their relationship, which could possibly involve abstraction. ⭐️
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⭐️ When asked how Jax would react towards Ragatha abstracting or going missing, Michael Kovach responds with a tragic but surprising response (go to the 1:25:45 mark). He states that if Jax realized that Ragatha abstracted, he would be devastated. This is because Ragatha was someone he knew the entire time during his time at the circus. He would then continue to repress these feelings and pretend that everything is fine (like he did with Kaufmo, the stressful aftermath at Spudsy’s etc). ⭐️
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⭐️ Jax’s episode (the gun episode) will explore each and every character, showing the audience how their personalities have changed amongst being at the circus. Maybe Ragatha and Jax used to be closer in the past? Maybe they weren’t always at each other’s throats? ⭐️
⭐️ So, where does this all lead to? What does all of this mean? Well, what if Jax does something in the future that hurts Ragatha emotionally. Something irredeemable, something unforgiving. What if Jax causes Ragatha to accidentally abstract, leaving the circus to cope with the death of one of their longest-surviving members? ⭐️
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⭐️ Like Kinger said “In this world, the worst thing you can do is... make someone think they're not wanted or loved”. The worst thing you can do to Ragatha is make her feel hated or unloved. She doesn’t want Jax to hate her, despite how she feels about him and his actions. Jax always seems to push away others and constantly uses them for his entertainment. The only time he actually thinks about anyone but himself is during times that lack distraction. Maybe he says something that convinces Ragatha that he hates her. She believes in the one thing she can’t live with acknowledging. ⭐️
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The guns aren’t actually guns. The guns are a symbol for a device or an event that leads to the accidental demise of a loved one. Kinger isn’t the only parallel to Baron. Jax is Baron. Ragatha is Martha. She’s “Dead Wife Rag” and he’ll have to live with what he has done. For the rest of his life.
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sy-on-boy · 17 hours ago
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Some SxF Ch 108 thoughts! (a bit scattered)
(In response to Damian making fun of Anya holding hands with Yor) Anya really is a kind and empathetic character— earlier in the story she probably would be offended and maybe even hurt (esp after Ewen's comment that Yor's not her real mom), but now she feels comfortable enough to take off her mask and reassure Damian about something she fears (feeling unloved by parents). And this is coming after Anya read Melinda's mind and she literally thought "how I wish Damian would just go away!" (among other contradictory things).
Anya doesn't snark at Damian like she might usually do. The sparks show us she's reading his mind, and it's probably something like "my mom doesn't love me". I love the detail of Anya taking off her mask. To me, it feels like a direct parallel to the school dance when she told him she can read minds. Anya is hiding from everyone, but she lets it slip for Damian. Despite everything, she trusts him with her deepest secret. She puts it back on after the moment of vulnerability.
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Damian is surprised and flustered that Anya knew what he was thinking. And Anya, instead of deflecting, tells him "believe me, I know." Damian clearly thinks of mind reading as a joke, which should be Anya's way out if she wants to keep it a secret, but it doesn't seem like she wants to hide it from Damian. Or she thinks it's more important to tell him than to keep her powers a secret.
"Take off that stupid mask already!" could mean for "just tell me the truth!" but Anya literally did. She took off the mask to tell Damian what she perceives as the truth (that Melinda loves him). She told him the truth before— she can read minds. And having Yor back Anya up makes Anya seem more "legit".
"Sy-on mom is being bullied too?" is such an innocent way for Anya to describe the psychological distress Melinda is in due to Donovan. She's concerned about Damian's family not getting along, because her own family is precious to her. And while (in the English translation) she uses the same term "bully" to describe what Damian does to her, Anya's facial expression tells us she knows it's a different and more severe ("grown up") form. Her and Damian are bickering kids, but Melinda is an adult dealing with adult stuff and is under great distress due to another adult. You can see it in her eyes. She's shaken by what she learns from reading Melinda's mind.
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As for Anya's "This feeling... I think I've felt it before", I'm not sure what she's referring to, but it could be Melinda picking up Damian post bus hijacking, since she similarly cares for Damian in spite of Donovan. Melinda is strange to Anya, but at least she seems consistent in that she wants to care for Damian even though she can't really express it. So Anya decides to express it to Damian on Melinda's behalf.
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Also, mention of telepathy. Either a set up for the Desmond family being involved in the experimentation done on Anya, or a red herring. I noticed Melinda's hand was on her ear when she mentioned telepathy, which reminds me of Melinda's earrings (note: jewellery/hair accessories are important in SxF— Loid and Fiona both wear WISE merch, Becky's hair clip is a bomb in reference to her family's business). I've never noticed if she wears a wedding ring, but this chapter she seems to only wear rings on the middle finger.
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This chapter was delicious in a lot of ways. The melancholy felt by Loid and Anya, Melinda's whole deal, the ending gives us a lot of fun implications, tarot cards, possible foreshadowing with the telepathy/occult, ominous Grim Reaper/Yor parallels, follow up on "Anya tells Damian she can read minds", etc. I'm surprised by how packed this chapter is yet it leaves questions without answers that we likely won't know ("What feeling did Anya feel before?" "What did Damian secretly think?").
The gentleness of the Forger family stood out to me. Yor was very kind to Melinda and persuaded her to seek help. Anya was kind to Damian despite him insulting her. And while Loid has less screentime, the flashback to his childhood makes me think he genuinely had a fun time hanging out with the caretakers (while trying to get intel because he never stops working). He also stayed because Anya wanted to (and they got Anya that strange mask). Maybe it's intentional in a chapter about Melinda— as the two major families, the Forgers and Desmonds are heavily contrasted. Melinda seems genuinely fond of Yor, and it's due to Yor's own personality/sincere kindness/efforts that she unintentionally gave Loid one of his biggest opportunities (at least, we would assume so). Yor is the only one out of the Forgers who's clueless to Operation Strix, so she isn't trying to manipulate Melinda. Maybe that's why Melinda finds her refreshing. She was also seemingly amused/happy when Anya said Damian bullies her but she still wants to be friends with him. We know a lot of Damian's peers suck up to him, but Anya doesn't. She's not exactly honest, but at least she admits Damian's faults instead of blindly following him.
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gomzdrawfr · 11 months ago
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it's hard loving yourself
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vergilmayhoard · 9 hours ago
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sometimes i hate everyone and my life and sometimes i think it would be better if i just died at this point
#except for my puppy i love him i always will#i would probably let him gnaw on and mess up my dead body anyway#but either way sometimes i feel like people dont actually care for me and that im just a stupid loser#i could never be like them i could never get as much attention and love and praise as them ever#it hurts because they get it from someone i know too and i just dont know what to do#even if me and them dont talk anymore i know its my fault but i could never talk to them again now#i just dont know whats wrong with me and what im doing wrong and i dont know why im so unlovable#i dont know why im not interesting and i dont know why i dont deserve attention am i really that needy#sorry this is impulsive and im probably going to crash out and go through an episode but i think im sick and its making everything worse#i just want to be known and i want to be somebody or something i could go on and on#im not going to do anything i think but at this point i feel like im so close to doing something for attention#i want people to tell them how much they love me and how much they worry about me i want their praise#i have my puppy for that but hes different because he understands i love him so much you dont understand#im so tired of putting in the effort when nobody has interest in me and wants to know me#im so sick and tired of being needy when i have something perfect already right in front of me i feel so guilty#because he is enough he will always be enough my puppy is always going to be enough he deserves so much better#but then i cant bear the thought of him actually going out to find better i want to spend the rest of my life with him#i want to marry him and i want to work on myself so i can feel the type of love he makes me feel consistently#i want to carve his name into my arm and carve my name into his thigh so we are bonded#i want to be with him forever and even in my death i want him to stay with me and be by me#i want to be buried with him and i would want him to dig up my grave and throw me back when im all rotted#i love him so much you dont understand i know this got off topic but i think somethings wrong with me right now
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anthromimicry · 7 months ago
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sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#it kind of surprises me just how much content there is out there about being afraid of intimacy but then again-#i have heard that that is supposedly one of the most common fears that people have apparently. so yeahhh but of course i do mean emotional-#intimacy here and oh my goshhh. i never realized just how sad parts of this song were until i listened to it again.#'i run away when thing's are good and never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could#i hate to say it BUT that is so misao. she really does feel sooo unlovable sometimes and she has this 'leave them before they leave you'-#mentality that is so saddening to have TBH but i understand why she has it. her childhood kind of left her broken in a way i think-#in ways that can't be easily explained as it was very nuanced and complicated. but GAHHH that doesn't stop me from wanting misao-#to find at least some kind of love from people 😭 like she needs at least one friend or something that she can depend on bc i feel like-#that would really help her and being in a house alone all the time whenever she's not at work can not be good for her psyche.#so petition to get misao a friend or two? JSJSJ nahhh but i am legitimately being serious at this point#she needs someone who'll stick with her through thick and thin and will be understanding of the fact that she's got unresolved trauma so-#that partially causes her to be hyperindependent but i firmly believe that she needs people just as much as anyone else.#maybe more in fact but IDK#and the fact that in this song halsey says that she still knows facts about them even though she hasn't talked to them-#in forever? i'm WEEPING AHHH#that is so like misao as well sadly. she would literally take little notes as to what thing's people like to reference later if she had a-#friend because she 'doesn't want to get it wrong' whenever she gets them a present she says but it's really so that she doesn't forget-#how precious this person is to her and how she wrote down all of their favorite things as a result.
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candyriku · 8 months ago
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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)
#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive#for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood#i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically#and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol#ANYWAYS#typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in#but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one#like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him#which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know#that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all#also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her#so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me#cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship#so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say#So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic#updates
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friedroses · 2 years ago
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#you guys ever just get that random urge to burst into tears over something very small#i felt stupid bc I asked a friend in a different timezone if they wanted to talk on the phone when it was like midnight there#they said they couldn’t sleep so my ass was like oh do u wanna talk then#as if that’s not the opposite of what they’re trying to do#and they very nicely in the most polite and lovely way declined bc they have work in the morning#and were very sweet about it#and i’m not upset with them at all but i just got so upset with myself#like i felt stupid and selfish to ask because i know it’s really me that wants the company and it feels like i can’t talk to anyone anymore#every friend reaches a point where they get tired of me and can’t handle it anymore so they leave#and i understand! i’m a lot. even for myself#and i don’t know how to stop being unlikeable and unloveable and just shut the fuck up for oncr becsusr i always a say too much#i can never leave well enough alone#and i cry so easily now it’s annoying#even my family members have all gotten sick of me#my mom started screaming at me the other day and basically told me that I’m annoying and she dislikes me#and i couldn’t even acknowledge her for 3 days not bc i was trying to be petty but bc i could not handle seeing her#without thinking about what she said#and she’s still fucking pissed at me for the original conversation where I was asking if we could divide the cleaning in the house equally#or at least more equally. bc everything gets so messy and cluttered and it stresses me out so much#and i feel like i’m the only one cleaning up after 3 other adults who don’t give any consideration to leaving shit everywhere#and she basically told me to shut tf up and stop trying to act like i’m her parent#as if she didn’t parentify the fuck out of me as a child and use me as a therapist and tell me to be the bigger person every time my older#sister did something fucked up to me#and she- my mom- is being hella passive aggressive now and the vibes are just so toxic i feel like i can’t breathe ar home#like i just want to sleep i don’t want to be home or even conscious#i’m so tired of making myself as tiny as I can and still being made to feel like i take up too much space#emotionally and physically#i just want it to be over#and i want to tell someone but i don’t want to burden anyone or talk too much bc it’s all negative and i don’t want them to get tired of me#i finally made some friends through school and it’s fun to be in a group of people again but i’m so scared i’m going to ruin it
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peachznscream · 3 days ago
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Crying in my car bc I got friend zoned again and I don’t want to rely on others validation for my self worth but! I do!
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kittlyns · 2 months ago
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The melancholy bites me in the ass every time I do something for other people
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magicmagica · 2 months ago
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Why do people literally despise those with adhd? Like everything I ever see about relationships with us is "how to dEaL with these stupid excuse making assholes" and never about how to foster love and understanding for their adhd partners along with building trust and joined coping mechanisms.
Symptoms are often described and then subsequently we are blamed for having those symptoms. Every article dances around this idea that uwu these people have medically proven neurodivergence and it impacts every inch of ther life but there are pills for it so if you dare show a symptom you're just obviously not trying hard enough and how dare you subject your partner to these (un)controlable symptoms. But don't say they're not trying uwu.
How come people with ADHD are excpected to embrace having to mask and treat it like a good thing so that others don't have to actually deal with your neurodivergence. I feel like society has come so far with mental health and neurodivergent understanding but when it comes to ADHD there is still this mindset that we are a problem that needs to be reprimanded and fixed.
I am in no way saying hurtful actions are excusable, we are still fully responsible for ourselves and our impact on others with accountability along with learing to adapt healthy living styles. But uncontrolable symptoms are met with hatred by others. There is never a goal to learn and accpet the way we are with love and patience or any real advice on how to build boundaries and education with your partners. Its all just. Does your partner have ADHD? Aww poor you heres the top 10 reasons why you shouldnt believe anything they say and they're obviously just an abuser who is lying to you amd chronically makes excuses tp make themselves feel better. They never teach you how to identify abuse vs symptoms. They have often encouraged the spouse to abuse their ADHD partners instead. But they can turn around and talk about other neurodivergence like Autism etc with this understanding and acceptance that their brains cause them to have quirks and differences. Things we need to accept and how judgment and hostility is damaging for those with these complexes divergence and that everyone experiences it differently so keep an open mind and heart.
But when it comes to me and other folks with adhd its always on us to act normal and mask. I know our symptoms are hard and that it does have a negative impact on things but why does every single article out there spew this outward hatred. I feel like people still see ADHD as this easy to have thing and we just need to Do Better but what does that MEAN.
I am so excited to see our fellows gain recognitiom and the understanding they deserve from society as a whole. But I just tried to look up how, as an adhd partner, do I communicate to my partner about my symptoms and their meanings, and was met with pages and pages of articles on how partners should deal with us with this echo chamber of "remember your partner struggles but they should just cope better" instead of actually building that bridge of communication between the two of us and understanding as a whole. Like its a whole ass disability do people just think its not THAT disabling. Im fucking tired
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medicinemane · 9 months ago
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I'm very tired, I have to do everything around the house myself (as in, I keep having to turn the water off and on to the kitchen sink until I teach myself to install a new faucet, and negative cleaning gets done if I don't do it), and the money is in the hands of the third worst person in the whole family when it comes to money (the worst being my grandpa who is dead, and my grandma who blows all her money on overpriced jackets and other junk)
I'm very tired, I have to teach myself how to do everything, and I have almost literally no support in any way shape or form ever
I can't remember the last time anyone said they were proud of me... I don't actually know if anyone's ever used that word with me before. When I do something like get the trailer cleaned out or buy a house, frankly no one gives a fuck, except my grandma who gets mad
I haven't actually had a chance to see anyone that counts as a friend in like 15 years, and I mean even in high school everyone liked me but no one could be bothered to actually ever even talk outside school... so even back then it's not like I had anyone I was close with
I'm providing this version where I totally remove how I feel or how I view myself from the description and instead try to provide something close to an objective description of things
So if you wonder why I say what I say about myself, honestly I think it's pretty much all summed up here
#mm tag so i can find things later#also this is why you can maybe piss off instead of coming around here and saying I should get off the internet and go to therapy#in spite of how morose I am; I'm actively working to fix this stuff by... at least learning more of the skills I need#like... learn to replace a faucet; then at least I don't have the sink issue weighing me down#and maybe if I fix enough of it someday things'll be ok#although... in my mind no matter what I do I'll still be alone and unlovable; but that's just a description of how I view things#regardless of how I may feel; I am trying to do stuff to fix how I feel by trying to fix my situation#so like... if you're gonna come here and tell me I need to fix my mental health#may I respectfully say either you can lend me a hand or maybe you should mind your own business#cause what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?#not that anyone will read this or particularly care#not trying to be rude or something; just extrapolating past data to make a prediction#it's not that people here don't care or don't like me; it's just we're all busy with our own lives and no one really knows what to do#well I'm... I'm trying to write you a guide; I'm asking for help here#...to an extent it's totally fine if no one helps... but you kinda don't get to go around acting like you love being asked for help#I mean... you do; it's your life... but I'm just saying... this is me asking for help... yet again#but I expect nothing because that's what usually happens#I really don't mean to... to imply anything about anyone else; it's just descriptively I don't get help and I don't get support#and... based on all the information I have my model for the outcome of this says no one will even notice it#that tag of mine of things I can find later or whatever... it has me outright saying a number of things#...no one ever hears or listens#anyway; there it is... another pointless cry for help#...don't say I didn't warn you when I wind up killing myself one day#probably not anytime soon; maybe not ever... all I'm saying is don't pretend you didn't see it coming or like I didn't reach out#at least... as best I could... maybe I could have done better#like sure; could I walk up to specific people and say 'I need you to do this'; sure...#but I find... I find people just ignore it if I say that too#so I've given up; you know?#this is the best I can muster#don't say I didn't tell you
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sanjarka · 1 year ago
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FUCK YOU we're in a overcrowded bus like sardines and your holding hands and eye fucking. GO AWAY.
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gremlingottoosilly · 1 year ago
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I met a guy in the Summer (dilf!Konig x fem!Reader)
Your boyfriend is an asshole. Luckily, his hot dad just returned from deployment. CW and Tags: Cheating, dub-con, size kink, daddy kink, age gap(reader in 20s, Konig is early 40s), Konig is a pervert, slightly obsessive Konig, love(and lust) at first sight, fingering, dom!Konig Word count: 3713 AO3
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“Just one more game, babe, don’t be a buzzkill. I don’t want to end at a loss.” You didn’t want to be a buzzkill, of course. You simply wanted to be a good girlfriend, have some domestically cozy date, and for your boyfriend to at least try to put an effort into being with you. It wasn’t much to ask for, really. You hoped so, at least. You didn’t want to be an annoying, nagging girlfriend who only ever waits for another reason to yell at him, but your patience started to run thin. 
You spend the past three hours either listening to his apathetic rambling about the shows he watched – really, you wanted to invest in stuff he liked, but an abnormally large amount of animes he talked about had 1000-year-old girls who looked like they were 10, wearing inappropriate outfits, and you started to raise the alarm. 
You also watched him play – and also listened to his rage quitting and angry voice messages to his team that, honestly, made you slightly anxious. You never liked loud people, people who were so easy to rage about something as silly as some colorful video game with too many characters to look after. 
So, like a good girlfriend would – you wanted to be a good girlfriend, he was such a nice guy before you started dating, and you need something to think about besides the tremendous amount of study work you are doing for college – you decided to go and look for snacks. Maybe bring something for him as well. 
— I’ll find something to eat, alright? 
He didn’t respond at first, so you shook his shoulder. Your boyfriend took off his headphones with annoying look on his face, half-turning to look at you. You gulped, suddenly feeling like a child in front of the principal – not a feeling that you were supposed to feel around your partner, but with him, you somehow constantly felt like you were being judged. 
— Nah, stay here. I don’t want my father to see you. 
— Ah…your father is at home? 
You never heard anyone else being at the house – big house, you must admit, and it’s embarrassing almost how you never thought about his family. He lives with his dad, apparently, and the depth of your relationships can only be judged by the fact you literally didn’t know what his father’s name was. 
— Returned from his fucking deployment. He’d ask too many questions about you. 
— You didn’t tell him about me? 
Ah, now you’re hurt a little bit. You knew it wasn’t anything serious or too committed yet, but you intended to make this work. To try and fix all the problems you can without ending things abruptly. 
— He never asked. Not like he cares too much, but…
An apathetic dad, huh. 
You started to slowly piece together the puzzle that was your boyfriend’s horrible boyfriend skills. Now, you want to meet the man who conceived him and kick him in the nuts for creating such an unlovable human being who somehow captivated your chronically lonely heart. 
— If you don’t want me to come and meet him, I can go home. 
He doesn’t answer because his queue is finally coming to another match – you simply nod, knowing everything you need to. You can grab a little snack for yourself, fuck off to your dorm and rethink your life choices while your roommate is getting pounded by some gruss British bloke with an accent that makes your ears bleed. 
You have dignity, and right now, it has asked you to get some snacks from the kitchen. 
*** Now, the only thing König wanted after returning from deployment was to take as many hot showers as he could, shut his bastard of a son up, and get some delicious food waiting for him in the freezer. He was already home for a few days, but adjusting is always hard when you basically fucking hate living at your own house. Of-fucking-course, his son was watching the house while he was away – and now he can’t even think of a good excuse to set him off to his mother. Too old to do this, and split custody never really worked when not even one part of the relationship wanted to take care of the kid. 
König closes the door of the refrigerator – of course, his son took every good thing that he stashed for himself. With a groan, the colonel fights the urge to finally throw him out of the house – a thing he needed to do a few years ago, just when he celebrated his 18th, but some sentimental part of his heart instead promised to help with finding a place close to the college. No good deed goes unpunished. 
With a groan, he takes a few steps from the fridge – and then he almost stumbles across an angel. 
Scheisse
Now, König never thought of himself as a predator who prefers running after college girls who might as well be his daughters. He never thought of himself as a gut who liked them young – his wife, god forsake her name, was his age when they started dating, and he hardly had any sexual encounters with a person under 25 in the past few years. Well, not like he had any sexual encounters in the past years, but…
The thing is – he never thought he liked girls with wide eyes, pouty faces, and trembling hands who were holding a bag of his cookies that he carefully stashed away from his son. 
You are wearing something cute, a nice skirt and an adorable pink cardigan that looks so cozy and warm and soft, and he fights the urge to grab your skirt and simply lift it, You’re dressed up for a cute coffee date, and König has to double check if he isn’t dreaming and no one has decided to play a prank on him and send him a cute callgirl. 
— Oh! Sorry. It’s yours, isn’t it? 
You give him his cookies back – but not before your fingers fished another salty caramel goodness out of the bag, and you bit it. He looks at your teeth, at your lips, and glimpses of your tongue – god, he is an old, dirty bastard because even his baggy pants aren’t enough to hide his boner. You have no right to look this pretty for a man who hasn’t seen a woman in three months and hasn’t had sex in the past few years. 
You lick the crumbs from your fingers – it’s such a deliberate action that he can’t believe he actually sees it, and it’s not even something from porn he used to like. 
— Ja. You can have it. 
He would give you the code to his bank account if you asked for it. 
— Thank you, sir. I’m…well, I assume if Paul didn’t introduce me to you…I’m his girlfriend. Nice to meet you. 
You lick your lips and take a step back, pressed against the counter. He looks at the sway of your hips, a bit of crumbs on your shirt, and almost brushes it away with his hands. It would be a good excuse to touch your chest – but he can’t be like this, he has to keep his urges under control, or else his son will never forgive him. 
Yeah, like he needs a better reason to throw his useless son from his home. 
— Girlfriend? He never spoke about you. 
You look sad, and he immediately curses under his breath. For a moment, you look too fragile – too real. He can’t handle this look on a woman, especially as pretty and young as you are. You bat your eyelashes, even involuntarily, and he already prepares to give you the keys to his home just so you’d stop with such miserable expressions. He has a spare bedroom. 
He has his bedroom with a bed that would be enough for both of you. 
— Ah. Um. We’re…I guess we’re not at this stage yet. 
— Knowing him, you’ll never be, Schatz. 
You look at him immediately – you’re offended, angry, and sad at the same time. There is a certain stubbornness in your eyes that immediately makes him want to simply scoop you in his arms, lift you, and drag you straight to the altar – and here he thought that his impulses over getting married would be over after his first divorce. 
— What do you mean by this, sir? 
You look uncertain now, he can see this in your eyes – and really, knowing his asshole of a child, he is almost sure that Paul never once got you off, either physically or emotionally. 
Now, König never once considered himself to be a good man. He has killed countless people, overthrown many governments, and made shitty jobs for shitty people way more than saving hostages to help the good guys – and in the romantic field, it’s even worse. Wife, unsatisfied with his controlling tendencies and inability to feel normal love for a human being – and a son who hates him because, in fact, he never once wanted to have a kid. 
He looks at you and sees a pretty young thing, still in college or freshly out of, probably without a stable job and normal social standing – a good girl won’t be with his son if she isn’t stupid or extremely desperate for a relationship. 
The thing is, König is also extremely desperate for another warm body next to his, to feel a woman beside him, to love and obsess over someone – he looks at your pouty lips and shaky hands, at the way you bite the corner of your glossy mouth, and he almost wants to drop you on this very table and fuck you until you’re crying under him. He can’t do just that, of course. It would probably make you extremely uncomfortable and scared, but…well, quite frankly, his son doesn’t deserve you. 
König is. 
— I won’t sugarcoat it, Schatz. My son is a Scheiß Arschloch…fucking asshole, that is. I’m surprised he brought home someone as cute as you. 
You feel embarrassment collecting in your body. Paul’s dad is a…interesting man. 
Tall, broad, very muscular – even his baggy house clothes aren’t really concealing his extremely interesting physique from your eyes. He looks yummy and tasty, and you fight the urge to eye the bulge in his pants because you’re a good girl, you don’t look at your boyfriend’s dad like this. 
König has greying ginger hair, locks already curling slightly at the lack of cutting, and you fight the urge to sit on the counter and get your palm in his scalp, massage his head gently, and pull him closer for a kiss. You feel like a dirty, horrible woman – your boyfriend is in his room, probably enjoying his time on your “date” while you’re lusting over his father. 
Then again, this date already felt like a disaster. This relationship, too. 
— Paul isn’t all that bad, sir. 
“He at least has a nice dick,” you wanted to add but stopped yourself. Paul is tall and somewhat strong – if he weren’t sitting at his computer all day, you would call him even muscular. And he has a nice dick, yes, even though he had no idea how to use it. You liked the idea of laying with him, of spraying your jaw trying to fit all of this in your mouth, but his kinks and his sex skills being directly taken from porn…not really your thing. 
You look at König and wonder if they are similar in all of the places. He is his father, after all. 
König catches your gaze locked on his bulge and smirks. 
God, if he knew his son had such a cute girl, he would ask her to come earlier. He is two weeks off deployment and probably won’t take another long contract for a few months because they just upped his retirement payings, and he can afford to slack off a little bit, only visiting the home base for some training and instructions for rookies. 
He can afford to retire and never worry about money again – but he needs someone to make his days less boring, right? 
You look like a good candidate. 
— I’m sure my son was convincing, but I know him better than anyone. He doesn’t deserve you, Schatz. 
He is shitty at flirting, it’s not his forte – he can flaunt his money, maybe, show you in his wallet and bank account face first. He can just straight up ask you to be his sugar baby and suck his cock instead of doing your studies, but he can’t flirt and manipulate to save his life. Lying isn’t something he is good for, this is why his wife has left. 
— I…not sure we should be having this conversation here. 
You’re a good girl, and it’s infuriating. He knows that having someone in his bed shouldn’t be the end goal for his leave, but he wants you, and by the look on your face, you aren’t opposed to the idea. König doesn’t understand if he likes that you’re so reserved about it or if he wants you to be a bit more slutty – but he captures you in the space between the kitchen counter and presses you with his body. 
— You want to see the bedroom then?
Pushes you so close his knee gets between your legs – it might look involuntary like he didn’t exactly want for it to be placed here, but you aren’t dumb, you know what he wants from you. Like a good fucking girl, you’re too shy to give it to him right about now. God, sometimes he hates being so nice to people around him. 
— Sir, this is very…
He got you caged in his hands, body trapped in his embrace – you jerk your head upwards a little bit, staring at him like a small bird in the hands of a predator. He isn’t a strong man in regard of morals, he doesn’t see anything wrong with fucking his son’s girlfriend – if the girl is up to it. And if she isn’t…well, he better make sure she is. 
— What is it, Schatz? Paul won’t hear us in his headphones.
You know just how wrong it is, and you almost want to escape – his dick grinds on your pelvis through his pants, and you’re horrified to see how big it is. Excited too, of course, he is bigger than your boyfriend ever could be, and you don’t want to be a slut, but, oh well, not like you were in a committed and serious relationship anyway. 
Paul was seeing your friends more than you ever saw them – it’s probably a sign that you should settle for someone older. You did enjoy Lana Del Rey's songs, after all. 
— I don’t want to break his heart. 
— He doesn’t have one. 
You’re lost when he pushes his lips to kiss you over and over again – a surprisingly good kisser, and you give in because it was the first time in forever a kiss made you feel this good. His lips are sending electricity down your spine, you want to moan just from his knee, pushing on the softness of your cunt through that adorable skirt you liked so much – you feel so small like this, so tiny in his hands, you…
God, you feel like a slut, and you like it. 
Soon enough, you answered the kiss, your lips meeting his in a dance that made you feel hot, that made you feel like your boyfriend never could. Never thinking of yourself as someone who can fall so easily into the hands of an older man, now you know that he got you right where he wanted. 
You push your hand on his pants, trying to get the control back – but he stops you, a giant hand enveloping your wrist and pushing you back. With a surprise on your face, König just wants to kiss you all over. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that you deserve way more than being fucked on the rough kitchen counter while your so-called boyfriend is too busy dickriding his friends in some useless online game. 
— Not now, princess. You deserve better than being fucked on the kitchen counter, ja? It can come later. 
“Later” sounds like a promise, and you bite back your moan when he keeps pushing his knee against your cunt, making you throb and clench on nothing. He is such a gentleman, you can’t help but compare him to his son – and his fabulous ability to make you feel dirty after fucking you in the backseat of his car and tossing you to your dorm with your pussy still wet and messy after you didn’t cum. 
You sob, not from sadness, but from pleasure mixed with some weird, unnatural for you emotions – you feel weird, strained here like this, but you hug his neck and whisper something in his ear. Something, dangerously sounding just like “daddy, please” 
König is blushing, and he looks fucking adorable. 
— Daddy, ja? God, you’re dangerous, liebling. Going to get me in trouble with my son later. 
He laughs when he kisses you again, his hand slipping in your panties only to find them completely soaked – he knows you deserve a nice pillow and soft sheets under your body, and he pushes you up so you can hug his waist with your legs. You rely on him like a cute pet, and you’re so perfect in his hands he curses himself for not seeing you before. 
He is going to ruin you for anyone but him. Put so much cum in you, it will make your tummy bulge – make you his precious sugar baby, pay for your dumb college and make you move to his bedroom instead of some shitty dorm you probably share with four other people. 
He can be good for you – but he will ruin you for anyone else, anyone appropriate, every guy your age who clearly doesn’t know how to treat a lady right. 
— So wet for me…such a filthy thing, I didn’t know my son dated a whore. 
— N…not a whore, please…
He kisses you on your forehead, silently apologizing. You feel his crooked, scarred smile, and you push your face up to kiss him – you want to touch him so badly it makes you feel stupid. 
— Sorry, Schatzen. Not a whore, a good girl for her daddy, ja? So nice for me, too fucking young…
— W…we really shouldn’t… — Tshhh, don’t think about it. Thinking will only hurt your pretty dumb head. — I’m not…
— Quiet, little one. Let daddy handle everything.
He kisses you over and over, his fingers playing with your pussy – meaty digits digging in your hole, making you whimper from sudden intrusion. He is big, bigger than anyone else, just two of his fingers are enough to spread you as much as normal cock would, and even though you’re used to taking Paul’s size, you just know that his dad would be much, much bigger. He is going to split you open, and you will love every fucking second. 
It feels so wrong, you still aren’t sure if you want him to touch you like this. 
It feels so right, he is experienced and eager, pushing every button to make you squirm in his grasp. Your orgasm comes embarrassingly quick – maybe because you haven’t gotten off in ages, only miserable masturbation sessions and poor attempts at faking your orgasm made it feel real. Paul never cared enough to actually get you off – but now…
You aren’t ready for him. You squirm in his grasp when the pressure becomes too much, and he soothes you, two fingers still buried in your soaked cunt. You feel so dirty, so wrong right now – you are cumming on the fingers of your boyfriend’s absent father, and you love every second of it. 
Post-orgasm clarity makes you whiny and sobby, and you whimper in his shoulder when he gently lifts you in his hands. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that he just scrambled your brain with that orgasm – it’s good, really, he might just want to keep your pretty head nice and empty for him. Not like you would ever need to think in his presence, the colonel can handle everything in- and out- of bed. 
König holds you close, not allowing you to scramble away no matter how embarrassed you are. You are his precious thing, with a pouty face, and he will do everything in his power to make you squirm on his fingers again and again before he makes you his wife for good. 
So impulsive, maybe this is why his son is such an asshole – taking the worst traits of his father. 
— Don’t cry, Schatzen. You’re okay, it felt good, didn’t it? 
— W…we shouldn’t have. Shit. I’m sorry, it was a m…god, I need to tell Paul. 
— I’ll tell him. 
— No! — I will tell my asshole of a son that you’re my girl now, ja? And then I will take you to the bedroom, so we can fuck. 
— I need to return to my dorm. 
— And then I will dine you properly, okay? Sorry, Liebling, I know I should court you before all of this…but we can afford to go a bit off board, ja? 
He is smiling, so smitten and obsessed over just having you cum on his fingers once – you don’t have the heart to say no. Never did. You’re a good, proper girl, and Paul was never treating you right anyway. You feel dirty, yes, but somehow, it is almost right. 
He peppers your face with kisses, like a dog lapping its tongue all over your skin – you’re so concentrated on the warmth of his strong, seasoned body that you don’t even look in the direction of the doorway to the kitchen. 
Paul, however, looks straight at you, disheartened and shocked. 
— W…what the fuck, dad?! König laughs, kissing you once again – deep, hot, with tongue and loud, sloppy sounds of your mouth pressing into one another. You’re stuck in place, still caged in his arms like a precious little pet you are. 
— She’ll make a good step mom, ja? 
You don’t even register his hands slowly caressing your fingers as if he already tries to check the ring sizes. 
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anthromimicry · 8 months ago
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#I'VE GROWN INTO A DEEPLY UNLOVABLE ADULT: playlist.#I know this is kind of a weird place to start with misao BUT I swear this song is relevant to her character jsjsj#During the 400 years she spent in Japan after she left home she had actually become acquainted with Japanese Pirates.#And she had joined them on their ' travels ' ( which basically just means raids / illegal exploits JSJSJ ).#But something unexpected happened during her time spent with them. There was one other woman on the ship and of course Misao wanted to try-#to connect with them as a result. And Misao was left being in complete wonder of her as she had never seen someone be so agile with a sword#before that point since the other woman in question ( her name was reika ) was known for being a BRILLIANT swordfighter. and due to her-#bunk being right above reika's they often found themselves have late night convo's with each other. And over time Misao felt this-#overwhelming feeling of warmth within her heart whenever she was around her as they soon began spending pretty much every single waking-#moment of their time together. And because Misao had never experience romantic love before this point she had thought she just held a deep-#admiration for Reika for a while. But then Reika volunteered to show Misao how to sword-fight and that's when she knew that she loved Reika#Because every single time she would physically correct Misao's stance with her hands or show her how to do a move more properly-#Misao felt this uncontrollable desire to kiss her. She just thought that Reika was so beautiful. And she wanted to have the spirit-#of a ' warrior ' just like her. So she reallyyy wanted for Reika to be her gf and after having a nightmare one night-#(because she is unfortunately plagued with them sometimes) and Reika expressed her concern for Misao by telling her that she could sleep-#in the same bed as hers Misao could've sworn that her heart stopped for a second and she was hesitant to at first but crawled in bed next-#to her anyhow in the end and after just laying there for a bit Reika turned to face her + just look into her eyes for a moment Misao asked-#if she could kiss her and Reika laughed and said something akin to ' oh if you only knew how long i've wanted for you to say that. -#of course you can ' and from that moment on Misao + Reika were a couple. And Misao was sooo in love with her that she wanted to find a way-#to make her immortal too. But decided not to when the topic was met with Pity by Reika whenever Misao finally revealed to her what she-#really is. Though the years that Misao spent with her were perhaps the happiest she's ever had. And she still loves Reika to this day.#She is also the reason why Misao wants to perfect her sword-fighting skills. Because she wants to make Reika proud of her.#... wherever she may be.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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whispers-whump · 4 months ago
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Some writing advice
that I like to use when I write. None of this is meant to be taken as hard and fast rules, they’re just things I like to do/keep in mind when I’m writing and I thought maybe other people would enjoy! <3
Never say what you mean
This is an offshoot of the very common “show don’t tell” advice, which I think can be confusing in application and unhelpful for scenes where telling is actually the right move. Instead, I keep the advice to never say exactly what I mean in stories.
By using a combination of showing and telling to hint at what you really mean, you force your reader to think and figure it out on their own, which makes for a more satisfying reading experience.
You might show a character getting angry and defensive in response to genuine care and concern. You could tell the audience that the character doesn’t see/talk to their parents often. But never outright give the real meaning that the character feels unlovable because of their strained relationship with their parents and as a result they don’t know how to react to being cared for.
Your readers are smart, you don’t need to spoon feed them.
Be sparse with the important things
You know how in a lot of movies there’s that tense scene where a character is hiding from something/someone and you can only just see this person/thing chasing them through a crack in the door? You get a very small glimpse of whatever’s after the character, sometimes only shadows being visible.
Do that in your writing. Obscure the important things in scenes by overdescribing the unimportant and underdescribing the important.
You might describe the smell of a space, the type of wood the floor is made of, the sound of work boots moving slowly across the room, a flashlight in the character’s hand. And there’s a dead body, laying in a pool of blood in the far corner of the room, red soaking into the rug. Then move on, what kind of rug is it? What is the color, patterns, and type of fabric of the rug?
Don’t linger on the details of the body, give your reader’s imagination some room to work while they digest the mundane you give them.
Dialogue is there to tell your story too
There’s a lot of advice out there about how to make dialogue more realistic, which is absolutely great: read aloud to yourself, put breaks where you feel yourself take a breath, reword if you’re stuttering over your written dialogue. But sometimes, in trying to make dialogue sound more realistic, a little bit of its function is lost.
Dialogue is more than just what your characters say, dialogue should serve a purpose. It’s a part of storytelling, and it can even be a bridging part of your narration.
If you have a scene with a lot of internal conflict that is very narration-heavy, breaking it up with some spoken dialogue can be a way to give some variety to those paragraphs without moving onto a new idea yet; people talk to themselves out loud all of the time.
Dialogue is also about what your characters don’t say. This can mean the character literally doesn’t say anything, they give half-truths, give an expected answer rather than the truth (“I’m fine”), omit important information, or outright lie.
Play with syntax and sentence structure
You’ve heard this advice before probably. Short, choppy sentences and a little onomatopoeia work great for fast-paced action scenes, and longer sentences with more description help slow your pacing back down.
That’s solid advice, but what else can you play with? Syntax and sentence structure are more than just the length of a sentence.
Think about things like: repetition of words or ideas, sentence fragments, stream of consciousness writing, breaking syntax conventions, and the like. Done well, breaking some of those rules we were taught about language can be a more compelling way to deliver an emotion, theme, or idea that words just can’t convey.
Would love to hear any other tips and tricks other people like to use, so feel free to share!!!
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davinawritings · 3 months ago
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Werewolf Husband that is obsessed with your ass...
Werewolf husband that is obsessed with your ass. His hands are on it at all times of the day. It’s not even always super sexual. Sometimes it’s just a loving little slap as you pass him in the hallway or a firm grab as you bend over to reach for something. He always makes sure to give your ass a big squeeze as soon as you wake.
Cuddling= Hand on ass
Sleeping = Hand on ass
Bending over to tie your shoe laces = Hand on ass
Walking away after placing his food in front of him = Ass smack
Walk past him in the hallway= Ass smack 
Fucking: Ass smack, bite, grab and occasionally fuck
This werewolf is obsessed with your ass.
You have come to expect having your ass in his hands in some way, shape or form. So, when you woke up this morning and he didn’t grab it, you were completely thrown off. You didn’t say anything because maybe he just forgot, but then you walked by him in the hallway and he just gave you a small smile.
Once again you brushed it off, you know he has been working hard lately with the pack. Maybe he is just tired. 
Then you brought him lunch in his office. You made the food perfectly and put on a cute little skirt that practically screamed look at my butt and squeeze! Placing the food down you stood right next to him and angled your body so you were easy to reach and your ass was on prime display. He just thanked you and went back to work while taking bites of his food.
Now you know something is wrong. You spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what you did wrong. You cannot think of anything but surely you are missing something. Everything was normal when you went to sleep last night. He fucked your brains out then pulled you to his warm chest. You even felt his clawed hand stroking your ass as you drifted off to sleep. What could have possibly changed between then and this morning?
When your husband finally emerges from his office he finds you pouting on the sofa. He calls your name and as soon as you look at him the dam breaks and tears start pouring from your eyes. 
He is kneeling in front of you in seconds grabbing your smaller hands in his own and asking what is wrong.
When you tearfully say, “You haven't touched my butt today”, he just looks at you confused. You go on and try to explain, “You always touch my butt. You love it. Everytime you are within arms reach you grab it or smack it. You didn’t do it at all today. Not once! What did I do wrong? Do you not love me anymore? Do you not love my butt anymore?”
He looks at you in complete shock for a moment before howling in laughter. Your sad tears quickly turn into irritated tears and your small fists hit his chest.
“That’s why you’re crying? You think I don't love you anymore because I haven't grabbed your ass today”, he says between bouts of laughter.
You glare at him for making fun of you and refuse to say anything further, knowing he will just laugh more.
He finally controls himself before scooping you into his arms, his hand going straight to your ass to hold you up. His hands massage your ass as he sticks his long tongue down your throat, earning a needy moan from you. He begins walking towards the bedroom and says “Come on my little mate. Let me show you how much I love your ass by stuffing it full of my cock. Cant have my precious wife feeling unloved”.
You smile as he lands a firm slap on your right ass cheek, everything feeling right once again.
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