eddie-3xists - Tumblr blog

eddie-3xists · 7 days ago

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update i asked my friend to go to dinner wirh me for my birthday and i was not publicly executed 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 HURRAH!!!

wanting to talk to my irls but being too nervous to talk to any of them after anything happens <<< ANYTHING ELSE 💔💔💔

#eddie yaps

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eddie-3xists · 10 days ago

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going nonverbal for at LEAST a few days when this is over 🔥🔥🤞

#eddie yaps #i havent left the call once the entire time #ive been out here #snoozing on call #napping #we had the whole gc in this bitxh at one point #its been almosg a week #its a problem

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eddie-3xists · 10 days ago

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being off puberty blockers is actually torment i get so irrationally upset over small things and i KNOW im being irrational but bc of stupid hormones i start genuinely tweaking out and i cant stop it

#trans agony #eddie yaps

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eddie-3xists · 10 days ago

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wanting to talk to my irls but being too nervous to talk to any of them after anything happens <<< ANYTHING ELSE 💔💔💔

#this is torture #i js wanna hang out with someone but i am SCARED #sighs #i feel like if i msg any of them like ‘can we hang out’ theyre going to shoot me or something 🙏🙏#eddie yaps

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eddie-3xists · 14 days ago

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this blog is slowly just turning into a yap account/diary for me…. i need to overshare on the internet its like an addiction for me 🔥🔥

#eddie yaps

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eddie-3xists · 14 days ago

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I UNDERTSAND IT NOW (edward lore part 2)

yallll the reason i was such a FREAK 2022-early 2023 is because i was getting like textbook groomed until December of 2021 😭😭 LIKE i shouldnt have been scting like that obviously but like looking back on it now,,,, I WAS JS A GROOMING VICTIM LOL?? like i was weirdly hypersexual and acted WAY older than i shouldve been and it was all cause of that dude trying to get his hand in my pants errmm I WANNA APOLOGIZE TO LIKE THIS ONE PERSON I KNOW who was a VICTIM of me being a freak in 2022 but im NOTT tryna like trauma dump on bro?? and we havent talked in like forever??? and bc hes apart of my friends system i dont wanna be like,,,,, demanding that he fronts??? bc thats rude obviously?? and not how that works anyways but like dudeee AAAGGHH im gunna tweak out I FEEL SO BAD 💔💔💔

sighs grooming can rlly affect ppl even if they dont really comprehend theyre being groomed and thats what happened to me and i feel just SO bad bc my behavior was so genuinely psychotic and weird and i lie awake at night being haunted by the memories of what i have said and done in those years… shudders….

#eddie yaps #tw grooming #sighs

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eddie-3xists · 25 days ago

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man i need to make a timeline of my own life i do NOT remember most of ts

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eddie-3xists · 25 days ago

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exposing edward lore (i remembered something traumatic i blocked out of my memory)

i just unlocked a memory,, uhm. when i was younger i remember i got in trouble for something and my dad yelled at me made me get in the car with him and then drove around a trailer park and yelled at me more and told me basically that if i didnt lock in soon i was gunna live like that and then like. basically just started hating on poor people which is crazy because he grew up poor?? 😭😭 i literally dont even remember what i did to deserve that??

and the in that same year i woke up late and my parents were askeep in there room, and i was a bus rider so i just ended up getting on the bus in some jeans and pajamas and i ended up getting a shirt from the councilor bc it was literally just a pj shirt and we were goinf on a feild trip and then apparently the councilor called my mom abt it and i got in SO MUCH TROUBLE,?, ?? BC THE COUNCILOUR WAS MEAN TI MY MOM?? THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT,,,????? literally my mom threw away a TON of my clothes including some of my favorite clothes and took all my shit out of my room and took off the sheets from my bed and shit like literally the only thing in there was some shelves and an empty bed?? and then i got crashed out on and i wasnt allowed to see spongebob the musical i was grounded and i got ALL OF THAT because the school counselor was shitty over the phone. 😔

and also later that year i remember my mom was in the hospital with covid before covid was a thing that ppl knew abt and like i asked abt what was going on bc my mom didnt wanna see her parents and there was a whome thing going on with that and it was stressful so i was like “guys whats going on? why wont we let them in?” and they both ignored me so i lept asking and then i got yelled at for trying to act like an adult 😭😭

i also once got yelled at for eating too much that year,,, like i cooked up a bunch of hamburger patties bc we were moving soon and we didnt have alot to eat so id eat them like steaks and i was literally SO hungry like i think i hadnt eaten or smth??? idk but u felt starving so i made four to eat and my mom screamed at me for it and then told me she didnt even wanna look at me anymore she was so mad ????