#so fucking sick of hearing people bitch
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i'm actually really upset at the watcher "fandom"
y'all seem like a lot of fair-weather fans to a group of guys who have consistently put out shows that you love, you've gone to their live shows, you've bought their merch, you've followed them over the years as they've grown and built their own brand
and then when they come out to say "hey, we're proud to announce the next big step for us as creators, producers, talent, and directors," you fucking scream and rail and throw a fit because they are launching a paid service that allows them MUCH more creative control and freedom while also supporting their staff in a more sustainable way???
that's sick and pathological, and i wonder how many of y'all were blogging in support of the wga/sag-aftra strike, because if you were and you're pitching a fit now? check yourself. not fucking cute to say you support those folks and then bitch and moan when your so-called favorite creators take the initiative to support themselves in a way that they feel more confident in.
"but we liked the old content that looked like it was made in a basement and the blue and yellow text and--" okay, did you ever think that maybe?? MAYBE???? the guys wanted to do something better??? if you really supported them, you'd be in support of their creative ambitions, too.
#this is about some cool guys who aren't a-listers okay#i would not be making this argument about anyone other than people who deserve it#so fuck off#i don't give a shit if you're mad at me because i'm not the enemy#youtube is#stop being half-assed 'fans'#if y'all really did care you'd be proud of them for taking on a challenge like this#ughhhhhh#so fucking sick of hearing people bitch#watcher#watcher discourse
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it's so damn sad that i have 500+ of you and no one gives a shit that i am curled up on the floor crying holding my old stuffed cat because it's the only thing that hasn't left me and trying not to have a full on break down and jump out a window, but you will just at the chances to correct my shitty behaviors the moment i even momentarily fuck up. suck my dick/not a threat. jesus christ
i am tired. take what i say tonight with a grain of salt. i can't type due to the fact every ounce of liquid in my body is pouring out through my eyes while i try to convince myself life is worth living.
#kairying in here#im so tired#im so exhausted#i feel like im gonna pass out but my body keeps shaking#i feel like everything i do gets criticized and im so sick of it#let me be a person. let me say shit and regret it on my own god damn terms#do not point it out yes i know what i said what fucked up but i do not care#i am angry. i am tired. i am hurt. and if i hurt you well then maybe you deserve it#because you probably hurt me#you people hurt me so damn much#not all of you#but the ones who know who they are know who they are#of course they're all pussys and have me blocked#dumb fucks#deciding to ghost me and leave me for dead after multiple exhausted work nights telling them how much they matter#bullshit. absolute bullshit. you can't care about anyone without them giving you the finger and leaving you#why do i always need to be left behind?#why am i so undesirable that everyone fucking leaves me?#fuck you. fuck all of this shit#fuck this fuck you tumblr#i give up#im done#i quit. i give up. you win. i am a bad person#i am egotistical and rude and i do not take accountability for my actions#are for you fucking happy?#are you glad that ill be dead by tomorrow? that you'll never need to see my fucking face again?#you win. congrats. you get the honor of seeing me bitch for no one to hear#im sick of this. of all of it#my friends are gone. im “too negative”. fuck that#fuck that and fuck you. go eat shit
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I can’t wait to get me and my cat far away from my mother. For my sanity’s sake and bc I know she’ll miss my cat to death.
The minute I’m gone her fuck ass will never see him or me ever again
#she said some horrible shit about me being sick and disabled#some unforgivable shit#all the more reason to go no contact#I can’t wait for the chapter of my life where I never have to hear her voice again#never have to smell her cigarettes#hear hear music#have her belittle me and gaslight me#she turns my fucking stomach#to have a person be so cruel to you in private then be so kind to everyone else#THEN turn around to shit talk the people she was just pretending to be nice to#choke bitch
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I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂
#one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch#it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie!#there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who#have not. okay so far so normal.#and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that#when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in#a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs#and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and#they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times#like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying#I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so#I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of#them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in#their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door#this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl#this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything#AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great#emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too#is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!'#I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of#knowing how to coexist politely in public#anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out.#I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who#found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness#I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think#hater hour over love u guys bye
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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i think i’m approaching terminal burnout
#can’t quit my job because I’m saddled with 100% of the payments on a $500k mortgage because my brother has been an unemployed neet for 9mos.#can’t take time off of work because there’s no one to cover for me and every day I’d take off just puts me one day (or more)on my work#And it’s work that requires me to stay on a strict schedule because that’s what’s required for nursing homesto continue operating in albert#I have no life outside of work#Don’t even have time to enjoy my acreage#Also was sick for 3 weeks in august and still had to work from home that entire time. No days off and no drop in productivity allowed#And I just constantly get shit on at work. No appreciation just getting criticized#and I have no life outside of work because I fucking work 6 days per week. And my friends are sick of hearing me bitch about it all#And my mom told me last week not to talk to her if I’m going to complain about how bad things are for me lol.#so I guess I’ll just write long winded text posts on tumblr.com and throw them into the void#lol#oh i forgot to mention that I’m also surrounded by I’ll demented and/or dying people on a daily basis so the job is extremely depressing
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#im so sick of hearing abojt all the horrors happening in occupied palestine#like#what is it going to take for people in power to fucking die#and stop funding this genocide#and to make matters worse people are still bitching about boycotting#GROW UPPP DUDE#PEOPLE ARE DYING KIM#you should be stopping ships and planes from leaving and you cant even do a non action
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#i ran out of tags on the last post AJSJSJS#SO i cant close my eye or use my mouth as well as i normally can and my eye hurts like a bitch#dr gave me 1) a second round of antibiotics 2) swimmer’s ear meds which my parents had to pay for out of pocket (like $90!!!)#3) steroids for the paralysis 4) yeast infection meds bc last time i got one#5) artificial tears to keep my eye nice n lubed up since it can’t CLOSE#so now i’m all full of meds that are making my stomach hurt a fuck ton and fucking with my appetite and making me hot and flushed and angry#i can’t see super well and i cant hear out of the one ear literally at all so stuff like retail job and lab work with classmates are hard#i’m exhausted and sick and have no motivation for schoolwork which I already was struggling w as a result of autistic burnout and PDA#i also do think that this is a hilarious set of unfortunate circumstances and yesterday i was very giggly abt it but today i’m just pissed#i can’t sleep well under the best of circumstances and tonight i rly cant#i tried to go to bed early bc i’m so tired and i need to force myself to go to classes tomorrow since i’ve been skipping a lot of them#my profs know abt the issues btw but :))) academia is hell if you’re at all sick or disabled or having mental health problems or whatever#no room for flexibility or adaptation in my experience#anyway i just wanted to vent for a while!!!#i am not in danger or anything and i’m not a threat to myself or others or anything scary#just frustrated and sick#the paralysis should go away within weeks to months 🙃#for some people it never goes away 🙃#so fingers crossed#but i am thankful to have meds readily accessible even tho they’re expensive and stupid#that’s all!! time to put my sleep mask back on and try to pass out#i tried taping my eye shut per doc recommendation but it wouldn’t stick#💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼
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#roommate is such a bitch. i can't even.#12 hr straight phone calls loud enough that i can hear them through loud music#no consideration that the three other people who live with her might not enjoy this#friend: why don't you just leave? me: at 3 am?#i'm so fucking sick of this. i can't believe i've lasted a year without committing a felony#and i'll need to room with some other disaster next year cause i can't get a single#i love college but god i wish i didn't live here
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i am so fucking tired of ageist, ableist bullshit
if you genuinely think things like old age and chronic illness turns people into ""problem customers"" get the fuck off my blog
#i keep scrolling past posts that are like#''customers are worse than they used to be because they secretly have long covid infecting their brains and making them think like old ppl''#and the source will be some fucking clickbait article#like buddy my nicest customers are 90yos who barely survived that shit#the reason you're seeing this correlated with covid is because we were all stuck in echo chambers for two years#also? my customers have not been any more or less problematic tbh so i think you might be rose colored glassesing about it#shut the fuck up and go generalize about the actual problem customers: coddled people who expect the world to never change for them#fish babblings#delete later#also sick of my coworkers bitching because people in wheelchairs ask to use the bathroom#or because people from the korean quarter don't speak good english#shut the fuck up and work with them or fuck off#yesterday my manager went on a 10 minute rant bc my DEAF customer didn't respond when she said 'have a good day'#like she wasn't even working with you and you won't get off your ass hiding behind the counter#she didn't even fucking see you let alone hear you#she was perfectly polite to me who was helping her for the better part of an hour#shut the FUCK up!!!
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vent tw, if you have depression please please just dont interact-
#ok so. to preface this for anyone with depression going past this point. im not gonna be nice. this isnt about you#this isnt about you in particular or how your secretly constantly a burden to everyone you love or how you just cant get it right#its not about having to deal with a person with depression but more how the social climate has made it so its so hard to deal with every#thing. thats all. if you read more do not blame me for feeling bad.#that was your only and last warning#okay so! now that hopefully all my homies with depression out there are ok- it is hard being surrounded by people with depression#sorry like. i am the only one in my imediate family without depression. and its. its hard a lot#like i care so much about these people and yet i cant help them because their either sad or tired or angry or numb most of the time#and i cant do anything. i cant do anything at all. and thats fucked!!!!! i think. sorry i am not one for curing mental illness but i really#really wish there was just a cure for depression so the people i care about could be happy and have energy and be ok#i dont want to constantly worry in the back of my head if what ill say next will lead them to going quiet and sad#or worry about how a few too many wrong moves and a hard time could push them off the edge. i know it wont happen.#but i worry about it constantly especially with the political climate#and i care for them so much and i just wish they could feel happy most of the time. just more than half is enough. more than half#gosh its gotten to the point a sertain tone of voice or someone saying their tired can make me feel bad#like bad enough i need to leave the room and go cry. everyone is alwase tired and i dont know what to do#i feel like a little kid being so sensitive by others emotions- but i cant help it. i cant help it when im surrounded#again this isnt a bash against anyone with depression. this is a bash against depression because of all the pain its given my loved ones#if i could fight depression as a just. thing i would mawl it alive. tooth and nail til all that was left was either bones. cartalige.#blood and flesh that hadent somehow made it into my stomach. and id keep it alive for a long as i could as i killed it#it would suffer 10 times the amount its made others suffer if i could. i can be a cruel bitch and i will if i ever got the chance.#and u h ya! sorry lil bit of silly moment i am just. sick of the tired. if i could id honestly never hear the phrase im tired again
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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#it really pisses me off that some of my rl friends make up the most ELABORATE lies to come across as tough#like#i get youre from cali but you and your whole fam didnt get out of the car at a traffic light when you were fucking 6#to try and beat up some guys that threw gang signs at you#your grandad and his brother didnt just beat the shit out of random people at the bar just cause they didnt like someones face#youre not related to the fucking Kennedys#like i cant even talk to him about shit im going through without him going on a loud ass rant about some bullshit#that has nothing to do with what we're talking about#like im trying to rant about my piece of shit uncle and he starts going off about how people always think hes on roids (hes a bodybuilder)#like no offense to anyone from cali but im so fucking tired of people from cali telling me bullshit just cause they think its tough#“im trained in MMA too” literally just said that while i type talking about how hes got “pre workout permanently in my brain” and goes#“thats a dangerous combo. Dangerously trained and dangerous mentality” BITCH YOU LEGIT CRIED OVER KILLING A FRUIT FLY I DONT WANNA HEAR IT#fucking shit im so sick of this shit
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Why the fuck doesn't my art get any fucking attention what is wrong with my art that it's not worth sharing why why why why why
#I'm freaking the fuck out I'm trying not to obsess over numbers but it's getting to a point#where I can't fucking ignore how little people fucking care about my art#I'm sick of seeing other people in the same communities getting hundreds of notes and I'm averaging three#on every fucking post#gggghhhhhhffhjhdfjydghrrhjjggg#vent#show Tori#(pointing at all my followers who don't give a shit about my art) my therapist is gonna hear about this#this is so entitled and makes me sound like such a bitch I'm sorry
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Idk how to even talk to anyone anymore when it’s just the same thing in a loop over and over
#i cant tell anyone anything or ask for help cuz lets see what happens#i get hit with a generic ‘just keep going keep looking for jobs keep going’#or i get *too honest* and then ive completely drained someone of life cuz thats really all im capable of doing anymore it seems#like it seems all i do is go on some sorta monologue about how miserable i am which is pointless cuz its not like anyone will do anything#and its just stressing people out too cuz its like lol if youre helpless and have to listen to me bitch over and over to you#its either annoying as hell to hear or its guilt inducing and we cant have that now can we#and im quite frankly tired of all these options like lol the very few people i actually like and enjoy are just fuckin#nothing anymore cuz im ruining their lives and being an awful friend#its really great how youre supposed to confide in people when youre feeling like shit but then doing so ruins everything#lol what am i supposed to do now you know? i cant talk about anything except myself and my misery#and its a never ending cycle cuz im still here in this unsafe environment and im just so fucking sick#of people telling me to just keep going and keep looking for jobs cuz god bitch thats what ive been doing#and i have nothing yet and lets say i get a job tomorrow its probably gonna pay like shit#and im too incompetent to work 40 hours so if i wanna like ease myself slightly itd take even longer to have money#and its just gonna take forever to save money enough to leave and god I need out like right now#because im just gonna go insane and im gonna kill myself if im here any longer every second im here breathing#feels like im being strangled im becoming a monster too and the worst friend of all time and terribly selfish and whiny#lol i guess ive just got this dumb fantasy where ill be saved by someone who treats me nice and they take me away#and i dont have to wait or lift a damn finger i can just. be safe. and get a hug and not fear my life#im so lazy and worthless and horrible I really do just deserve to die#but i guess i cant say that. cuz then itll make everyone too drained lol
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customers need to chill bc i am not the one and don’t take your bad day out on me omfg :))) also im feeling the vibe switch from beautiful to me feeling like i definitely need to quit. The liquor store at Kroger is still better than working in the grocery store but i am like just feeling “nah nvm” about this now 😭😭😭🙃🙃
#i can’t today fr#first one to try me today i slayed gracefully and it was beautiful lmao#she came in all ‘is the drive thru ever open’#and I’m always just straight up about how yeah it’s open when we have the staff and no trucks come in#cause we have to be able to stock the damn shit but there’s usually two people scheduled til the next shift comes in#we have 3 people working at the most ever even tho we could use 4 people soemtiems but whatever#ANYWAYS!! I realized that woman literally came thru the drive thru like 3 days ago lmao#so me being me said “’didn’t you come thru the drive thru the other day?’ bc fuck her bro 🤣🤣 people piss me off#and she was like ‘yeah I did’ and I said ‘see it is open when we can do it’#and she was so fucking nice to me the rest of the time LMAOOO IT MADE ME SO HAPPY BC I HATE PEOOLE OMFG#IM SICK OF HEARING ABOUT RHIS FUCKING DRIVE THEU#then some other lady came in bitching about it and I didn’t even speak#I went absolutely non verbal bc im not good at being fake#which is why idk why I have chosen retail#i lvoe people but I hate them too#I have a lot of fun customers but the bad ones bro#be really bad#the other lady left her debit card in her car so Insta karma#for being an entitled jerk idk#at least you’re not getting fucking bombed and fighting for your life#fuck off fr#the world makes me so irritated
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