#so far without success
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Find yourself someone who looks at you like Michael looks at Edith.
#charles edwards#trust me I AM TRYING TO FIND THAT SOMEONE#so far without success#downton abbey#michael gregson#is that celebrimbor???#lmao yes he is#celebrimbor#rop#mywork
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Oh! Fucking. Duh. Obvious Roxie post I can make today: here's an emote I made for the sp:te server! (With variants of different degrees of completion...)
I was gonna go back and shade the comic colors Roxie but. Just ended up going w the colors picked off the screenshot. This screenshot, specifically!
#mind the quality i ripped it from Somewhere but i dont remember where#i still havent gone and continued my Unhinged Screenshot Taking yet. but oh buddy when I do....#spto#sp comic#spvtw#fanart#art#roxie richter#emotes#discord emotes#blue sparks one there was just testing where i wanted to put some before i decided Overkill was The Way#like w the other ones. please do reblog this if you decide to use them in a server somewhere! i would like to know if they end up other +#+places#ooc#spto fanart#scott pilgrim fanart#spvtw fanart#spto roxie#scott pilgrim roxie#spvtw roxie#roxanne richter#roxy richter#actually. best day for it really. if anyone has any roxie screenshots or panels they want emotes from I'd generally consider them to begin +#+with but For Sure today. (generally if anyone wants a given shot/panel as an emote im happy to at least Try. i just need specifics)#(so far kim ones are my only Successful emote attempts Without panel/shot basis. i do need to try a ramona that was requested again...)#uhhh just to be safe i guess#potential eyestrain#i did try a version w the sparks more like they are in the show but it Didn't Look Good#feel free to try your own hand at it if you want#this post is scheduled btw :3c im still trying to work on another roxie piece... panel redraw....
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Horn project
Yes, I started another mod project. I am making horns this time. This is the ''Fancy'' version of this set. It still needs refits, variants and custom materials before this one is done.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 modding#baldur's gate 3 mods#my bg3 mods#my mods#baldur's gate 3 modding#I've spend way too long trying to get the accessories material to work without success so far#And by way too long I mean most of the day was spent struggling lol#I hope I can add physics to the pearls#it should be possible with some guidance
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Any judgement on (Richard III)’s reign has to be seen as provisional. The critic of the reign only has to consider how the Tudors would now be regarded if Henry VII lost at Stoke, to realize the dangers of too many assumptions about the intractability of Richard’s problems. But it would be equally unrealistic to ignore Richard’s unpopularity altogether. The fact that he generated opposition among men with little material reason for dissent, and that the disaffection then continued to spread among his own associates, says something about what contemporaries regarded as the acceptable parameters of political behaviour. There is no doubt that Richard’s deposition of his nephews was profoundly shocking. To anyone who did not accept the pre-contract story, which was probably the majority of observers, the usurpation was an act of disloyalty. Gloucester, both as uncle and protector, was bound to uphold his nephew’s interests and his failure to do so was dishonourable. Of all medieval depositions, it was the only one which, with whatever justification, could most easily be seen as an act of naked self-aggrandizement.
It was also the first pre-emptive deposition in English history. This raised enormous problems. Deposition was always a last resort, even when it could be justified by the manifest failings of a corrupt or ineffective regime. How could one sanction its use as a first resort, to remove a king who had not only not done [nothing] wrong but had not yet done anything at all?
-Rosemary Horrox, Richard III: A Study of Service
#richard iii#my post#english history#Imo this is what really stands out to me the most about Richard's usurpation#By all accounts and precedents he really shouldn't have had a problem establishing himself as King#He was the de-facto King from the beginning (the king he usurped was done away with and in any case hadn't even ruled);#He was already well-known and respected in the Yorkist establishment (ie: he wasn't an 'outsider' or 'rival' or from another family branch)#and there was no question of 'ins VS outs' in the beginning of his reign because he initially offered to preserve the offices and positions#for almost all his brother's servants and councilors - merely with himself as their King instead#Richard himself doesn't seem to have actually expected any opposition to his rule and he was probably right in this expectation#Generally speaking the nobility and gentry were prepared to accept the de-facto king out of pragmatism and stability if nothing else#You see it pretty clearly in Henry VII's reign and Edward IV's reign (especially his second reign once the king he usurped was finally#done away with and he finally became the de-facto king in his own right)#I'm sure there were people who disliked both Edward and Henry for usurpations but that hardly matters -#their acceptance was pragmatic not personal#That's what makes the level of opposition to Richard so striking and startling#It came from the very people who should have by all accounts accepted his rule however resigned or hateful that acceptance was#But they instead turned decisively against him and were so opposed to his rule that they were prepared to support an exiled and obscure*#Lancastrian claimant who could offer them no manifest advantage rather than give up opposition when they believed the Princes were dead#It's like Horrox says -#The real question isn't why Richard lost at Bosworth; its why Richard had to face an army at all - an army that was *Yorkist* in motivation#He divided his own dynasty and that is THE defining aspect of his usurpation and his reign. Discussions on him are worthless without it#It really puts a question on what would have happened had he won Bosworth. I think he had a decent chance of success but at the same time#Pretenders would've turned up and they would have been far more dangerous with far more internal support than they had been for Henry#Again - this is what makes his usurpation so fascinating to me. I genuinely do find him interesting as a historical figure in some ways#But his fans instead fixate on a fictional version of him they've constructed in their heads instead#(*obscure from a practical perspective not a dynastic one)#queue
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It's a girl. Mom took good photos and videos when she visited her
She's scared but-
the doctor said that she purrs when stroked
#Improvements are visible!#we are already looking for a new home for her#but so far without success :/#kitty
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and another viable clue type of deal: asa telling mordecai that b/c the savoys have been good at cutting down competition "it's become somewhat difficult to keep them busy some nights, in fact, but that allows us to focus some attention on other ventures" like What Other Ventures. what some things have changed. quarrying???
#more half serious ''does wick own marigold with quarrying as his front & symbolic juxtaposition to lackadaisy in preexisting caves''#what's he doing up so late with work all the time then hmm#and of course entirely serious ''working theory Mordecai Killed Atlas (Atlas Would Obviously Have To Be In On That) headquarters''#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#which is also getting into broader mysteries here but isn't it always? just being nosy about Their drama & history specifically.#if The Ventures he's talking about is per the bootlegging then wouldn't that just be what directly involves the savoys#so Other ventures is: Not That. we know the hatcheted party/ies & gracie grombach are Drago Connections.#if mordecai (& by extension lately the savoys) has been shown to be tasked with killing people who Inform to drago#(and without mordecai getting to know himself that's what it is? why shouldn't he be in on it? so far as we know like surely#Taking Out Informants isn't new to marigold or to mordecai?) that's not the Other Ventures either. hard to call it a Venture anyways#lackadaisy#the ''our front is so successful we're just going legit'' tale as old as time. quarrying focus#but anyways the point is a) what are the Other Ventures Focused On & b) how might this affect / have already affected the story
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Sooooooo I just posted the first chapter of this long fic I've been working on. Artist's interpretation of how I'm feeling right now:
I will have the link out in a bit, I need to calm down first and also make my work lunches for the weekend.
Prepare yourselves.
#the first part of my experiment has been a success so far#that experiment being 'actually post things for people to read online'#we'll see how the next steps- 'continue posting things' and 'dealing with people's reactions or lack thereof without melting down'- go down
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i know ive reached an obscure corner of vocalo music in general but it really sets in when i put a new cd on my pc & i have to put in all the album details manually.
#its really fun however to go to a con & buy albums from people u dont know without hearing them#like. i see what synths ur using. im going to put some trust in u & buy it blindly#& so far theres only been 1 (one!) that im like. well its good its just not my thing. so that a success to me#and when i say one i mean one in general not from today
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i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
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I decided to go of T for a bit as an experiment and so far my acne has cleared up but at the cost of my emotional state shifting. The longing has become so fucking strong, it's making me melancholic af
#was hoping that by stopping. my metabolism would chill and my appetite would reduce back to how it was before#cause my b.e.d is getting out of control#also waiting to see how the fat distribution will affect my self image if it all shifts back#cause I've been slowly becoming more okay with presenting more feminine#the acne clearing up is a huge one tbh that's been a notable success so far#but the emotional regulation worries me#T practically acted as a mood stabilizer for me. It reduced my anxiety and depression by like. 95%#so I'm curious to see if my ability to regulate my own emotions will continue without HRT#simi speaks
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youtube
Every word is golden! ❤️
#CONFIRMATION OF KENDALL’S SOBRIETY#🎉🎊🥳🥳🥳👏🏼#there’s too much to handle here#a 32-minute take#Kendall is DRIVING a Porsche in LA like excuse me I thought he said ‘I don’t drive’#he’s feeling good#Jeremy wants Kendall to get what he wants but also knows it isn’t all good for him to get it#and Jeremy talking about himself#he feels wrung out and has no appetite to be an actor right now 😭#it’s fine he deserves to rest#he will still do interviews all year about Kendall!#and will be focused on it without another role right away#this is my favorite interview of the press so far!!#also Kendall’s arc could not have ended earlier what#succession#kendall roy#jeremy strong#succession season 4#Youtube
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i have job interview tomorrow yippeeee. my ma keeps telling me off for always complaining that i cant apply to [any given job in this one region] because its too far away and im literally right because the bike infrastructure is nonexistent and particularly dangerous and the bus runs like twice an hour AND i also have to get to there from school. but this job i applied to? yeah its gonna take me like 1.5h to get to 😭😭 but its a city job so im hoping i can just transfer to another place idk lol. anyways wish me luck that i either get this job or they like me enough to hire me at a different location or something idk
#just realized my last job interview was june 2023. gets scared#anyways this job would be so fucking good if it wasnt so far away its literally built for me#its not even like in the suburbs or anything like the [redacted region jobs i dont want to apply to] are#it could not be closer to downtown#theres just. Reasons that i cannot specify without doxxing that it takes so long#but anyways hope im sort of successful in some area of this interview#i only applied to this because i didnt think i would get it 😭 but its the only job thats reached out to me in the past six months#i applied for a nearly identical position in a better location too and they never sent me anything waghhh i should mention that to them lol
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my love for Maven has evolved into something and no matter how hard i try i cannot put it into words and it’s driving me crazy
#i have a post talking about how his body is decaying from the inside out due to his soul rejecting his mother and that’s the closest i’ve#gotten so far at explaining my feelings for him rn#i’ve also stopped seeing him as this sad pitiful creature and am more so leaning towards he was a rage and resentment fillled creature and#his main ways of showing love went hand in hand with him putting Cal and Mare through the worst pains/horrors imaginable#he also is absolutely batshit like#bro is on the brink of madness the whole time it’s a wonder he never fully falls through#bet u money if he had been successful in killing Mare or Cal he would’ve fully lost it#cause like now what#this whole war and the two ppl he hates/loves the most r dead and it’s his fault#idk what i’m talking about#he got me feeling like#[CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] GOOD LORD! [GENERAL COMMOTION] [BABY CRYING] WAAAAH WAAAAH [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEEWOO WEEWOO#he still is sad and pitiful but he’s also a rage filled monster who was given too much power without enough guidance#just running on hatred and whatever fucked up version of love he knows of#the closest he got to truly not gaf about literally anyone or anything was his reaction to Elara’s death#did all that running on nothing but anger and hatred almost killed Cal he was so enraged#does this make any sense?#he’s still baby girl sunshine loml 🔛🔝 tuck him into bed and read him bed time stories little angel
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just a few more songs until im up to 69
#make another kankri playlist without reusing the songs from the first one challenge: almost a success so far#the way that kankri is a special case where you can have both semi-religious and 'fuck religion actually' songs is really funny to me#moss talks
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the thing about shiv and the baby and motherhood is i really dont think she'd care. i dont think she's ever had any interest in those things, in fact she's made it a point to be as far from those things as possible to show her father she's a serious person and as close to one of the boys as she can get. i still think people making digs about her ability to be a mother would be insulting to her insofar as they are meant to insult her, an incredibly prideful person who tries very hard to always be seen as hypercompetent no matter the task.
if anything, i think it might make sense that she found out about the pregnancy before logan died but i truly don't think she'd keep it once he was dead. he's about the only person she would keep the baby for, like she might feel it would give her leverage or sympathy, but once logan is gone the baby honestly is nothing but liability to her. it makes her perceived as less serious about the business it takes her out of the running for ceo or any real power.
i know theres obviously threads of inescapability as with every character in the show, and the ways in which shiv has tread on other women to get where she is yet cannot help being entrapped by the same things as those women, but i also feel like there's just something. i dont want to say misogynistic but the way shows sort of inevitably use motherhood as an intrinsic humanity-finder, like see she's a decent person she's keeping the baby she's not heartless, or whatever, is so flat and reductive, to me.
also of course, they might have done it with more nuance if it was yknow. actually planned and written in from the start of the season.
#i think there are ways in which it could have been interesting#like if we actually got to see her grapple with it and figure out if she was keeping the baby or not#that could have been something but as it stands i think its so unnecessary and...yeah flat#but at the end of the day i really dont think she gives a fuck and i am really sick of seeing any Woman character fall into this motherhood#-thing esp when its characters who you know would be unaffected by it#again i think theres def room for shiv to have a struggle with it of like#dreams she used to have for herself and expectations her family enforced vs what shes already given up to come this far etc right#but the way shes all gutpunched about people saying she'd be a bad mother i think is like. idk the way its been done is left wanting yk?#succession#actually i think an interesting true to character way might even have been her changing her mind and keeping the baby out of spite-#-in direct response to what tom says in the tailgate fight#i would feel thats more realistic for her to have decided not to keep the baby but then bc tom goes out of his way to make that comment#and to make her hurt she keeps the baby to show him what a great mother she will be. all without him!#and then of course. the cycles.#that would have been more honest i think than whatever theyve done instead
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#I think my landlords want more money for rent.#and my graduate assistantship ends soon.#which means I won’t have more money to give them#i shouldn’t be surprised at feeling like my situation is precarious.#it would be precarious anywhere. not just here.#but now that I didn’t get into the university I wanted to get into?#I’ve gotta come up with a plan. but I’m so burnt out.#I had too much faith in my abilities and because of that I didn’t spend enough time building myself a safety net#I didn’t provide other avenues for success because I was so focused on one of them#I’m so tired. I feel like all my efforts have been for nothing. I want to stop. but I can’t. I have to keep going#I got this far without quitting. I may want to give up but where would that get me?#a cramped room in a smoker’s drafty house? where I have to crawl under the desk to get to bed? no thanks#i just. i hate that I feel like I have to do everything by myself.#I almost feel more alone than I’ve ever felt. almost#if I knew what kind of help to ask for I’d try. but who would I ask? what would I ask for?#My brain feels like mush. I have both no thoughts in here and also waaay too many.#ugh памагити. ��ак же быть
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