#so far my favorite is the matcha latte

[lokh]

there's a local protein powder brand whose whole thing is having bubble tea flavours and i have to say that they are Extremely good

[cmdrfupa]

XXXV

Satoru "I'm just a man" Gojo. Happy Birthday to our sweet loser :*

Satoru stood in the middle of his living room, arms crossed, a pout creeping onto his usually smug face. His blindfold rested lazily around his neck, revealing eyes that were far too beautiful for someone sulking. He glanced at his phone again. No messages. No sly emojis. No secretive texts from neither his friends nor students.  

“I’m gonna head to the grocery store here in a bit. Did you add what you wanted to the list?” You dug through your bag fishing out your wallet before taking a glance over at Satoru. “Toru? You good?”

Satoru turned to you, huffing and dragging his feet until he laid his head on your shoulder.

“No birthday brunch, no room full of my favorite people, no Nanamin telling me I can sit on his lap. Baby, I'm 35 today and my friends don't care!”

“Honey.”

“Yes my darling wife.”

“Remember when I asked you 7 months ago what you wanted to do for your birthday?” You gently rubbed his back as he draped his large frame onto you.

“Mhm.”

“And every other time every month til yesterday even?”

Satoru turned to you, his lashes lightly brushing against your neck. “Yes.” he pouted.

“And remember when you said that the only thing you needed to celebrate was a full day of peace and some sweets with your sweet?”

“And you took me seriously! Of all the times to take me seriously baby, seriously.” He lifted himself and gently took you by the shoulders.

“So you don’t want to spend the day with me and eat homemade bon-bons and ice cream cake?”

“Any day with you is heaven my sweet goji berry,” Satoru planted a warm kiss on your temple and fished out his card to slide it into your bag.

“Tread lightly baby girl. I hear that ‘but’ coming.” you glared.

“No buts. Just how much I love yours.” He pursed his lips, almost duck lip like, for a kiss and you couldn’t help but oblige. You did the same, pursing your lips and met his before he embraced you.

“It won't take me long to get the things we need to make our bon-bons. I’m also going to stop by the mail station. I’ll be back soon.

“I can manage an hour by myself on my 35th birthday. I’m brave.”

You softly grabbed his chin. “The bravest. I’ll see you in a bit.” You kissed his cheek and left out the door.

“Not even a surprise from my boys,” he muttered, flopping dramatically onto the couch. “Unbelievable. I am maxing their Christmas list items to 15. They’ll see how it feels then.”  

As he wallowed, his eye caught something on the coffee table: a colorful flyer with bold letters.  

~~~"Citywide Scavenger Hunt! Follow the clues for an adventure to remember."~~~

A crooked smile broke across his face. “Well, well, well, what’s this?”  

Clue One was printed at the bottom:  

*"Where the storm passed and sweetness brewed, love first whispered, quiet but true."*  

Gojo tilted his head, pondering. It sounded oddly familiar. Shrugging, he grabbed his coat and headed out, intrigued despite himself.  

---------

The cafe was as quaint as ever, tucked between a bookstore and a flower shop. It was the kind of place you could walk by a hundred times without noticing unless you were looking for it. Led by his own hunch, Gojo stopped in front of the window, his sharp gaze scanning the hand-written menus and neatly arranged pastries.  

At first, it didn’t click. He was about to walk away when the memory hit him like a stray curse punch.  “Storm, brew, whispers.”

“Ohhh, thiiiis place!” he exclaimed, startling a couple passing by. “This is where we hid from that rainstorm!”  

Satoru had put together a last minute picnic that got rained out within 5 minutes that day. He found the nearest cafe, where you’d spent 4 hours giggling and establishing the relationship you now had.

He stepped closer to the window, remembering how you’d insisted on ordering for him. You’d teased that he was “sweet enough” for a matcha latte—a line he hadn’t let you live down for weeks. And that day...  

“That’s right,” he whispered to himself. “That was the first time I wanted to say ‘I love you.’”  

On the window, taped neatly near the corner, was the next clue:  

*"Where koi dance and words lingered long, love spoke bold, with hope it belonged."*  

Gojo’s lips quirked upward. “Koi pond, huh? You’re making me work for this, aren’t you?”  

He reached for his phone to text you but stopped himself. If this was your doing, he didn’t want to ruin it by cheating. Instead, he turned on his heel and made his way to the park.  “City wide scavenger hunt my ass. My baby loves me!”

________ 

The koi pond glistened under the afternoon sun, tiny ripples reflecting light like scattered diamonds. Gojo meandered along the path, hands in his pockets, until he spotted someone sitting on a familiar park bench.  

“Nanamin!” Gojo shouted, startling a flock of pigeons nearby.  

Nanami barely flinched, his attention fixed on a book he held in one hand.  

“What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’ve finally realized I was right on how much sun you need? You’re welcome!” Gojo plopped down beside him, grinning ear to ear.  

Nanami sighed audibly, closing his book with deliberate slowness. “I’m going to let you talk because it’s your birthday. But please, be quieter.”

Gojo seemed surprised at  Nanami remembering the best day of everyone’s life. Though the appreciative look stopped once he recalled his own complaints from this morning.

“So you DO remember my birthday, Nanami.”

“Hard to forget the day that changed the course of history, Gojo.”

“And yet,” Gojo pulled out his phone, pulled up his call logs and shoved the phone in Nanami’s face. “I receive not even a quick call to celebrate my great entry into this world.”

Nanami closed his book as he turned to Gojo. “I have been busy this morning. And you’re 35. The fruit basket I’m sending will be enough.”

“The only thing that will be enough is if you let me sit in your lap.” Gojo batted his eyes as if he were flirting to save his life.

“No.”

“Pleeeeease. It’s just 5 seconds of lap time.”

“No.” Nanami deadpanned.

After 18 years of knowing one another, Nanami was fully aware that this wasn’t going to be the last time he’d be asked this. Mostly because this was the 56th time being asked and Gojo seemed desperate.

The blonde sighed and patted his leg. “You have eight seconds. Then immediately get up or i’m pushing you off.”

Gojo’s face lit up like a kids and jumped into Nanami’s lap. He sat still then after only 4 seconds, Gojo stood up. “Eh. That was underwhelming.  A bit of a waste.”

 Before Nanami forgot why he was there, he reached into his inside suit pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Take this before I forget my promise of being kind to you.”  

He handed Gojo the envelope, his expression as unreadable as ever.  

Gojo opened it, pulling out another neatly written clue:  

*"Where koi dance and words lingered long, love spoke bold, with hope it belonged."*  

“Wait a second.” Gojo stared at the pond. Memories flooded back—You and him sitting here late one evening, legs brushing as he rambled about some silly story. You laughed and he looked over at you, his heart unexpectedly full, and blurted it out.  

“Hey, this is the place I told them I loved them,” he said, grinning. “This time I said it and they said it back! Pretty sure they cried. Tears of joy, of course..”  

Nanami gave him a flat look. “You’re unbelievable.”  

“Thank you!” Gojo chirped, standing up. “So, is this whole thing their idea?”  

Nanami didn’t answer, simply picking up his book again.  

Gojo wagged a finger at him. “You know something, don’t you? But fine. I’ll play along.”  

As he walked away, Nanami muttered under his breath, “They deserve a medal for dealing with him.”  

-——————-

The rooftop was quiet except for the faint hum of the city below. Gojo stood by the edge, gazing out at the skyline. It wasn’t the most impressive view in Tokyo, but it was meaningful. He remembered this spot vividly: the night you both had huddled under a single blanket, sipping canned coffee as the stars struggled to shine through the city lights only a few days after his fight with Sukuna.  He smiled at the passing birds and the sound of the bustling city below.

“Hey, are you just going to stand there looking like a complete dumbass?” a voice called out.  

Gojo turned to see Utahime leaning against the rooftop door frame, arms crossed.  

“Utahime! Long time no see. Are you here to confess your love for me too?”  Gojo joked as he took a step away from the edge.

She rolled her eyes, walking over to him. “No. I’m here because I was asked to hand you this.” She held out another envelope.  

Gojo took it, but not before giving her a cheeky grin. “So, you do care about me. I knew it.”  

“Just open the damn envelope,” she snapped.  

The note inside read:  

*"Where stars met our gaze and silence spoke, love stood firm, unbroke. Now make your way to the place that holds the memories old and untold."*  

Utahime smirked at the way his expression softened. “It’s cute, honestly. How whipped you are.”  

“Excuse me,” Gojo said, straightening up, “I am not whipped. I am simply... deeply adored. By many.”  

“You look like a lovesick puppy reading that note. Whipped.”

“I don't have it in me to be whipped. I’m a little too masculine for that.”

“Whatever you say, you lovestruck idiot.” She shook her head, waving him off. “Try not to trip over yourself getting to your next destination.”  

Gojo pinched her cheek  before heading out, his heart racing now.  

---

Gojo unlocked the door to your shared apartment, and his jaw dropped.  

The living room was transformed. Balloons hung from the ceiling in shades of blue and white, streamers looped along the walls, and a table was set with delicate china, tiered trays of sandwiches, macarons, and cakes. In the center of it all stood you, holding a teapot, your face glowing with excitement as his friends and former students stood around singing happy birthday.

“Happy Birthday, my sweet Satoru,” you said warmly.  

For a moment, he didn’t move. He took it all in—the decorations, the scavenger hunt, the care and thought behind every detail. Then, with a burst of energy, he swept you into his arms, spinning you around.  

“You’re incredible!” he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “All this for me?”  

You laughed, holding onto his shoulders. “Of course. I wanted to surprise you with something fun. Those places weren’t random, you know.”  

“I know.” He set you down, brushing a strand of hair from your face before he held your face gently. “Those were the places I told you had moments I fell for you all over again. Every single time.”  

Your smile widened. “I hoped you’d remember.”  

He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “How could I forget anything about you?”  

-—————

The tea party was everything Gojo didn’t know he needed. Nanami sat stiffly in one corner, grudgingly eating cake telling Yaga of the koi pond. Utahime sipped tea with Shoko, who had brought a bottle of sake "just in case." Even Megumi had been coerced into attending, sitting quietly as Gojo tried to shove a macaron into his mouth.  

Throughout it all, Gojo’s eyes kept drifting back to you. You, who had orchestrated this entire day. You, who had filled his life with meaning he hadn’t known he needed.  

As the guests left and the apartment quieted, he pulled you into his arms once more.  

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice low and sincere.  

“For what?”  

“For loving me,” he said simply. “And for reminding me why I love the life I have with you.”  

You smiled, resting your head on his chest. “Happy Birthday, Satoru.”  

For once, Gojo didn’t have a witty comeback. He just held you, feeling like the luckiest man in the world.  “Happy Birthday to me.”

[withleeknow]

somewhere only we know.

pairing: ot8 x reader (ot8 in the sense that there's no name mentioned so you can imagine whoever you want) genre/warnings: established relationship, (tooth-rotting??) fluff, half a second of angst if you squint; this is pretty self-indulgent and also i just randomly wanted to write it this way. kinda similar to this but not really word count: 0.6k note: again, imagine whoever you want! mimo is on the cover just for illustrative purposes and also he's my guy so what did you expect from me lol

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / masterlist / ko-fi

the waterfront on the tail end of a sunset walk. your hand tightly intertwined with his. sharing strawberry tanghulu and tasting the fruity sweetness on each other's lips. neighborhood children rushing by in a hurry to make it home for dinner. 7:12pm, his jacket around your shoulders to keep you warm as dark blue begins its descent for the evening. the wind and her gentle kisses upon your hair. you stop to take a picture of the sunset but he stops to take a picture of you. a rose-colored blush when he tells you you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. love, love, love. him, the stars shining in his eyes before they have to come out and paint the sky. mismatched footsteps and twin smiles.

the middle of your apartment's entryway, not even making it into the living room. your arms around his neck, his hands on your waist and in your hair. a long trip coming to a stop, a big suitcase abandoned by the door. the scent of his familiar cologne that you've yearned to touch for weeks now. 1:19am, wide awake. somewhere in the world, iris by goo goo dolls is playing on repeat. i missed you's and i love you's and fresh tears. feeling like you could hold him like this for hours until the darkness outside falls away. no more facetiming with seas of distance between you. chests pressed tightly together, no space, all love. sweet nothings whispered right next to your ear. home is where the heart is, and your heart is home.

the park five minutes away from his parents' house. your head on his chest, both of you on a large picnic blanket laid out on green, green grass. his heartbeat under your palm, your mind somewhere up there among the clouds. sleepy and lax under the influence of the sun. 3:29pm, an iced matcha latte and a slice of lemon cheesecake sound absolutely divine right about now. there's an urge to voice that thought, but you know neither of you can be bothered to move. his lips pressed against your forehead, then a tender "i could stay like this forever."

the convenience store just around the corner. a spontaneous snack run in the middle of the night because you were craving sweets. empty streets but your hearts are full. the cashier's ringtone is a song that you both hate. 12:22am, no worries in your head. tomorrow is still the weekend. banana milks and chocolate ice cream. he falls for you all over again when you aren't looking, and tells you "nothing," with a coy smile when you ask why he's staring. time works differently at night, almost like it doesn't seem to pass at all. there's no logical explanation to why you feel like you're on top of the world at midnight in sweatpants; maybe it's just being with him, maybe it's just being in love.

your favorite bar on a rainy evening. the argument was stupid, but it was heated enough for you to storm out. only red on your mind; forgotten weather forecasts and forgotten umbrellas. stubborn and angry and alone. the fight was your fault anyway. 8:18pm, a bottle of soju for company. ignoring his calls and texts when your phone lights up with his name. heavy raindrops loud enough to hear from inside your shelter, heavier heart. the way his face fell when you said what you didn't mean. why did you say that? forty five minutes and the bottle is almost empty. far too tipsy to pay attention to the chime of the bell by the door, but sober enough to recognize his presence when he sits down next to you. his rain-dampened hair and your fragile, wounded pride. the apologies are quiet, uttered into the space between the two of you, only for his ears. forgiveness in the form of gentle fingers holding your own. "it's getting cold," he says. "let's go home."

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.05.2024]

[gucciwins]

Harry brings a gift…and an important question is asked

A/N: hi friends, it’s been over a month since i last posted. life and school got really busy. but to celebrate graduating uni here is a sweet blurb 💜 happy reading 

Word count: 1987

Y/N loved working at a coffee shop. She loved the smell of freshly brewed coffee, and when a customer asked for her favorite drink. Y/N had been at this coffee shop since she entered uni and continued while pursuing her postgraduate. She enjoyed how flexible Connie, the owner was with her hours. Being here for so long meant Y/N was good with inventory and, more times than not, found herself in the back, organizing and keeping track of all the items. She loved making drinks and talking with customers, but sometimes she got overwhelmed and needed a breather doing inventory allowed her to do so. The shop had been slow most of the morning, so she slipped to the back to get ahead and hopefully head out early. She was looking forward to stopping at the bookstore and picking up the newest Emily Henry novel she had pre-ordered.

Drew poked his head with a teasing smile on his face. “What?” She asked without turning to look at him. “Your staring is getting creepy.”

He scoffs, “you didn’t even look up.”

“You got that intense gaze, my friend.”

Drew sighed, “I get that a lot.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “can I help you with something?”

“No. I wanted to ask if you wanted to make a matcha?” Drew asked suspiciously.

Before Y/N could reply, Tish rushed in. “Harry Styles is here!” Tish screams quietly. “He wants a matcha something. My matches are horrible,” she cries.

Tish is their newest barista, who started here a month ago. She’s a petite pink-haired Latina who Y/N had taken under her wing. Tish had moved far from home and happened to join their team as Connie went on vacation, leaving Y/N and Drew in charge until her return in late Summer. Tish had no idea Harry Styles was a regular here and that Y/N might harbor a small crush on the English pop star.

Y/N glares at Drew because he must have known it's why he came in to bother her. She acted like she was okay not being able to greet Harry, but she loved her conversations with Harry. He told her about new poetry books he was reading. Y/N shared about the new artist she was listening to or the latest record she found. Once Y/N told Harry she was a fan of Madison Cunningham. Harry promised to give her a listen, and months later, she opened for Harry in New York City. Y/N thought it was a funny coincidence, but she couldn’t help but think that she influenced him and his taste in music even a little bit.

“Oh, did I not say lover boy had arrived?” Drew smirks, seeing Y/N’s flushed cheeks.

Tish’s eyes look at her in surprise. “Are you dating Harry Styles?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Drew shut up,” Y/N mutters.

“He so wants to date her,” Drew whispers to Tish.

Y/N fixes her apron and name tag. She makes sure her bisexual flag pin and anatomical heart pin are straightened and hurries out to make Harry’s drink knowing they’ve taken too long.

“The slut strands fix the slut strands,” Drew calls out as he reaches out to fix her hair. She slaps his hands away and walks out from the backroom. Y/N doesn’t even let herself scan the room.

Susie shoots her a wink as she finishes up with a cashier. Y/N grabs his cup and sees that he’s chosen a lavender matcha latte, a favorite of hers. She takes her time and dances around her coworkers happily, knowing they all wait in anticipation for her to call his name.

Y/N won’t give them the pleasure.

“Lavender Matcha latte,” Y/N calls out. She sees him stand up from his seat in the back corner by the shop's tiny bookcase, where you can grab a book and leave another in return.

She had her eyes on Harry, that she missed when a tall redhead approached her. Usually, Y/N picked up the charm for a pretty redhead, but today all her attention is focused on a brunette with emerald eyes. “Did you say, Hailey?” The cute redhead asks.

“Sorry, babes,” Y/N apologizes. “Forgot to say the name. It’s Harry. Yours will be out shortly.”

Hailey giggles, “I had just ordered, so I was a little surprised.”

“We’ll have it out shortly,” Y/N promises as she walks away.

Y/N wants the ground to open up and swallow her whole because Harry had to witness that awkward interaction. “Sorry,” she apologizes to him. “Lavender matcha?”

“Yes, thank you.” He accepts the cup letting their fingers touch for the briefest second. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.”

“You too,” she chirps. “Glad you stopped by. Our matcha still the best?”

Harry smiles, and Y/N can’t help but do the same. She remembers when he came in to tell them he would be away for a few months but would miss their matcha dearly. Y/N made him promise he’d tried to find matcha better than hers—from their coffee shop.

“It was a tough call,” he teases.

Y/N pouts because she knows what that means. He did find better matcha. Although she isn’t sure if he’s found a better matcha or if it’s his way of stopping their flirtatious interactions. Y/N would hate for him to stop coming in. Harry was everyone’s favorite regular because he was kind and learned all their names. He always asked about their life, but Drew teased her because he took a deeper interest in Y/N.  

“Y/N,” Drew calls. “It’s break time.”

Fuck.

She knows what he’s doing, and she hates that.

Harry looks away, but she notices his cheeks heat up. “Would-do—“ he shakes his head. “Do you want to sit with me for a bit?”

“Uh,” she looks behind her, and Drew gives her a discrete thumbs up. “Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you there.”

He nods, leaving with his drink to sit back down. Y/N slips off her apron, and Tish hands her a vanilla latte with oat milk. The rule is Tish makes everyone a drink for their break until she’s perfected. In return, everyone takes turns making one for Tish, allowing her to try to guess all the ingredients in the drink of the day.

Y/N walks over to Harry, careful to walk over, and hopes he doesn’t notice her shaking hands. Harry stands up and pulls her chair out when he sees her approaching. She thanks him, taking a sip of her drink to calm down.

It’s good. Really good.

As Harry sits back down, Y/N finds Tish at the till, waiting for her response. She sends her a thumbs up, making Tish scream in success. This had been a drink she could not perfect for a few weeks, but now she could check it off.

She finds Harry staring at her with a warm smile.

“Sorry, Tish’s new, and we’ve been having her make us drinks to practice,” Y/N explains.

“Mhmm…she’s nice. Took my order and ran off,” he giggles.

“Matcha is not a strong suit for her just yet.”

“She’s learning from the best, so I’m sure soon enough,” he praises.

Y/N feels her face heat up. It’s such a compliment coming from him. “How have you been? All that traveling must be nice being home.”

Harry nods, “I love it, but nothing beats home.”

Conversation with Harry flows easily. He tells her about things he did on his days off. They never mention his shows, but she doesn’t mind. She loves hearing about his intense workouts and the newest book he picked up, and how many friends he has reunited with.

In return, she shares how she completed another year and plans to celebrate in Italy towards the end of July. Harry tells her places she has to visit and even gives her the name of a restaurant she has to visit and to say Harry sent her. He promises it’ll be the best pasta she’s ever had.

Harry changes the conversation back to matcha, promising he missed her drinks.

“You did tell me to find the best,” he teases.

“I thought the best was here,” Y/N defends.

He turns away from her to open his tote bag and slips out a metal tin. “My friend took me to this place in Tokyo, and it was amazing.”

“Harry,” she frowns. “Breaking my heart.”

Harry laughs, “I brought some for you all to try and make some drinks.”

Y/N awes at his kind gesture because he didn’t need to do that, but he wanted to. She accepts the gift and reads the label to learn more about it. “I’m sure if I make it, then it won’t be the same.”

“But you can try?” He offers.

“Matcha is something you have to be gentle with.”

“I asked the barista why it was so good,” Harry shares.

“What they tell you?” Y/N asks, wanting to know the secret to the best matcha.

“It’s about what you put in. All the emotions and feelings you are filled with go into a cup of coffee or tea,” he tells her. He pauses for a second before continuing. “I told them it was good but that it was missing something,” he looks away, unable to meet her eye. “Something about it being special who makes the cup for you.”

Y/N tries her best to contain her smile but fails, knowing Harry enjoyed her matcha because she made it. “Well, I enjoy a good matcha and hope everyone who drinks it does too.”

She looks down at her watch and knows her time with him is over, and she needs to go back to work. Y/N holds tight to the tin and smiles at Harry. “I’m glad you stopped by, Harry.”

“It was good to see you,” he tells her.

As she stands up, he stops Y/N from walking away by holding lightly to her wrist. “Sorry, wait.” He lets go quickly and digs in his bag again. “I said it was for everyone, but I got this one just for you.”

It’s in a purple-colored tin, and Y/N feels her heart swell. Harry bought matcha just for her because he knows she likes it.

“Harry, this was so kind of you.” Harry nods. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I hope you’ll tell me how you like it when you make yourself a latte with it,” he smiles at you, giving her the courage to do something crazy.

Y/N looks over her shoulder and sees everyone working, and the customers are lost in their conversations that she allows herself to focus back on Harry. “I don’t know if I’m reading too much into this, but would you want to come over to mine, and we can try this amazing matcha together?” Y/N smiles, trying to look at ease, but inside, she feels her stomach turning and the butterflies going crazy, knowing Harry now holds so much power over her.

Harry takes a second for her words to sink in before responding. “Yes,” he breathes out. “That would be nice.”

“Great, okay,” she bits her bottom lip, nervous about meeting his gaze but can’t look away when she sees the bright smile and shining eyes. “Uh, I can uh give you my number, and you can let me know when you’re free.”

Harry grins. “Wonderful. It’s a date.”

He opens his journal, and she scribbles down her number and, before thinking twice about it, adds her address underneath.

“Alright,” she steps back with her two tins in hand and coffee in the other. “Bye, Harry.”

“Bye, Y/N. I’ll text you.”

“You can call me too,” she offers.

Harry grins, his dimples on display for her and only her. “You’re off at two, right.”

She hums in response. “I’ll call you then.”

Y/N turns away from him, her face warm from the interaction, her heart bounding, but gosh, is she excited for Harry to call her.

[prolix-yuy]

Chapter 3: That Was the First Time I Lost Her

Pairing: Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x F!Reader “Sugar”

Summary: It only takes a little digging.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: More angst, insinuations of creep behavior, making shit up about Westworld, a million questions and no answers, will be E in later chapters so full series is 18+ MINORS DNI.

Notes: Sugar's got some soul-searching to do, and there are very few people who can help her with that. Where Cognitive Dissonance had a lot more Westworld characters in it, this series is gonna have a few cameos from Kingsman characters and you better believe this is one of my favorites. Enjoy!

Cross-posted on AO3

Decoherence Masterlist   ||   Whiskey & Westworld Masterlist

It takes you three weeks before you say anything about Jack to anyone. Three weeks of going back and forth from your job, sitting in front of the large glass screen your work is projected on. Three weeks of seeing the world you live in - advanced far beyond Sweetwater’s rustic charm - in a new light, knowing there’s someone living in it that feels so out of place. Now, you feel out of place too. 

In that time you argue with yourself back and forth over what happened that fateful morning.

He’s a delusional man who violated your trust.

But he didn’t act delusional. Didn’t try to push you to come with him, didn’t try to get your number or find out where you live. He gave you a way to contact him, but didn’t press when you didn’t promise to.

But how did he find you?

That thought twists your stomach. Had he used some database to scour personal records for you? Had he been trailing you and you never even noticed? It clearly didn’t go to plan for him, but what had he planned? 

He wants to “explain.”

The most you would do is call him. Only to tell him to be prepared for a lawsuit. Maybe to scream at him a little more about how violated you felt. Definitely not because you want to know what he could possibly say to make this make sense.

Why are you entertaining this?

This is where you always come to a halt. You can reason around most of your internal arguments, make good decisions that would make your parents proud, but it’s when you get to this question - why are you still thinking about this? - that you falter. 

Because his plea - let me explain - and the furtive way he looked at you - I am a host - tug at something you hid away for the year since you saw him. That there was something more to Jack, but not this obvious of a betrayal. 

I didn’t get to tell you something that night. Something important. 

He tried to tell you something that day on the train platform. What was it?

I was a coward, and I wanted you more than anything Sugar. 

He was going to tell you he loved you. And it was going to shatter your heart to hear it, so you showed him the photograph. Because it would hurt less to prove him a fantasy. You forced him to reveal the machine behind the man, because he was going to tell you he loved you.

Right?

But if this is the last moment I get to say it before you leave my sight, I have to. 

I need you to know.

Was this it?

It’s Dina that helps you gain some clarity, though not in a way you imagined.

“I had my trip to Westworld refunded, ruined my whole vacation,” she says nonchalantly over lunch. The “cool bridesmaids” actually stuck together after the bachelorette, and you see Dina every few months for a boisterous lunch and catch-up. This particular revelation, two weeks after Jack sauntered into your life and left you with a handful of mirror shards for memories, makes you choke on your drink. 

“You were going back?” you finally ask once you can breathe again. Dina smiles knowingly, swirling her iced matcha latte loudly in her glass. 

“I’ll admit, it’s pretty fun. Only went once since the party, it’s damn expensive, but I was really looking forward to my third visit. Sounds like there’s some operational issues.” You listen with as much nonchalance as you can muster, but Dina smiles coyly at your ruse. “Didn’t see your man there last time. Maybe he was just for you.” 

You scoff, a clammy sweat on the back of your neck sending goosebumps down your arms.

“They probably rotate them,” you say weakly, thumb smearing away a drip of coffee from the lip of your cup. 

“Listen, baby, maybe this isn’t my business, but if Jack still gets you this fired up, it might be worth talking to someone about it,” she says gently. Your heart leaps into your throat, worrying that your face has given it all away.

“What, like a therapist?” you laugh, trying to put on a bright smile but you’re practically thrumming now. Dina scoffs instead.

“Hell no, my girl Ginger. She used to work for Delos, doing…programming or something. One conversation with her will definitely ruin the magic for you. Like seeing Mickey without his head on in Disneyland.” You both giggle at the image, trying to school yourself into a calm that won’t betray how close to the truth she is.

“She left on bad terms, so she’ll tell you the truth about shit. Doesn’t care about her NDA, or much else for that matter. She’s a badass,” Dina says, scrolling through her phone and typing quickly. “Ask her your questions, get your dreams dashed, and move the fuck on.” Dina means well, but the worry gnawing in your stomach draws much of your attention away.

Former Delos staff could definitely tell her if Jack was a host, or a fucked-up guest, or a host based off a guest that is now playing a terrifying game of switcheroo. 

“Promise she won’t think it’s weird?”

“She loves to dish about it, you’ll be making her week.”

Ginger doesn’t want to meet in a public place - I’ve seen a little too much of what can be done to risk it - so she invites you to her condo instead. You almost back out, shame and nerves getting to you, but the need to know grows at a greater pace. So, bringing two coffees and pastries (not from the shop where you saw Jack, you don’t think you could go back there), you climb her third floor walkup.

She’s business chic with a dazzling smile, a collared shirt under a sweater with dark-washed jeans. Her hair is spiked through with honeyed highlights that compliment her brown skin. A pair of serious horn-rimmed glasses frame her face, but look fresher on her than any academic. 

“Hi, I’m Dina’s friend,” you start as Ginger leads you into her home. Dina mentioned she was a programmer, and her design aesthetic screams “I care more about my processor chips than artwork.” Stacks of hard drives on tables, large manuals of computer code on shelves, all neat and tidy in a controlled chaos way. She brings plates for the croissants as you sit at her table, rolling your opening remarks in your mind as she settles across.

I had a strange experience in Westworld that made me question everything. Can you tell me if I’m crazy or not?

Before you get the chance Ginger speaks. 

“Dina told me a bit about your situation,” she says simply, regarding you with rapt attention and sparking intelligence. The confusion must have slapped across your face, because Ginger barks out a laugh just shy of impolite. “I made her spill the beans, I’m too suspicious otherwise.” 

You sigh audibly, covering your face with your hands.

“Great, now I’m just pitiful,” you bemoan, joining in on the laughter. Slouching back in your chair, you share a look that radiates I guess we’re here now.

“So, you had questions about hosts. Maybe one in particular. I haven’t worked for Delos in a few years, but I’ll do my best to help. God knows those assholes keep their mouths shut tighter than their assholes,” Ginger says, waiting for you to lay out your questions. So many bubble up, but you let the most important come to the forefront:

“How can you tell a host is a host?”

Ginger’s smile turns conspiratorial, cocking her head to one side.

“One really got to you, huh? Made you think he - or she - was real?” 

You twist your hands in your lap, shoulders tensing for laughter.

“It’s silly, right? A host is a host and a person is…completely different.”

Ginger talks as she darts around the room, gathering items - a laptop from a desk, a silver and orange hard drive, a handful of cords. She gestures with her hands while she speaks, face softening with the passion that shines through,

“It’s a testament to how well we programmed them. They’re supposed to trick you, keep you in the illusion. I was more in design and aesthetics, moved into expressive programming before they culled my team.” When she catches your eye, the first etchings of confusion on your face, she backtracks. “I designed the exteriors - faces, bodies, you know - before I moved into writing code for their facial expressions and body language. Cram years of what we as humans would observe and develop over a lifetime into a little computer chip. They learn too, just not the same sorts of things. They’re designed to interpret our body language, give us what we need before we think we need it.”

What had Jack read from your body?

Ginger plops down at the table, fingers moving quickly over the keys and eyes trained on the glowing screen. 

“But Delos axed my team, said something about ‘new coding avenues,’ the assholes. Just didn’t want to pay us if they could automate us. But!” She hits the last key and folds her arms, finally looking at your nervous posture. “They didn’t pay me well enough for my IP, so I took everything I could get my hands on. Most of it’s too outdated for them to care about, but I’m pretty goddamn proud of it.”

She motions for you to sit on the same side of the table as her, waiting until you’re settled to drag a window onto the screen. It looks like tiny image thumbnails all neatly stacked, face after face scrolling by.

“So who is it?”

You steel yourself for whatever answer may come next.

“Jack Daniels.”

Waiting for a confused noise, for a bad search return, for some reason to hate the man who came back to you, instead you get a knowing laugh.

“Ah, I’m pretty proud of that one,” she says, typing in Jack’s name and pulling up a profile. “I was going through a very dashing cowboy phase, wanted something a little Burt Reynolds, a little Robert Conrad, flirtatious but a disaster at it, smooth talker.” As she talks she tabs through sketches, achingly beautiful pencil drawings of his hawkish nose, the pout of his lower lip, the tilt of his head up to look at something. 

“Then fucking Sizemore dumped him in that shitty Golden Circle timeline, which was a goddamn waste. Gave him a terribly written, cliched backstory and half-assed his motivation to make a shockingly underthought double cross villain arc seem edgy.” Ginger pauses on a dystopic photo, Jack standing in a glass and concrete cube, hand on his jutted hip and a smile you’ve been in the path of aimed right into the camera. You can almost hear his voice.

You can have all the Whiskey you want.

“Our cowboy deserved better than that,” she sighs. Managing to break from your reverie, you try not to stumble too badly through the most important questions.

“And he’s not…based on anyone else? There’s no Jack lookalike wandering the streets?” You try to make it airy, joking, unsure of your success. Thankfully Ginger skims right over the tremor in your voice, tapping into a file that details every scar and freckle over the expanse of his skin.

“If only. Unfortunately, the best men are designed by women. I’ve never met someone quite like Jack.”

Neither have you, and the implication settles heavy in your chest. 

You spent an hour more with Ginger, peeking into the secret workings of Delos and picking at flaky pastries without appetite. It’s more out of politeness than interest. Half of the things she shows you flow right through your consciousness and into the ether. 

Jack is a host. 

From the mouth of his…creator? Herself?

Maybe that combination of features could find its way in nature, but not his story, or the intimate details you both know in very different contexts. The groove she drew in his lower lip pulled softly across your stomach. The graphite glint in his eyes lifting to capture yours. The thick strokes that built a hand you’d felt hold your face so gently. 

Ginger knew him as well as you did, certainly more so, and there was no better explanation for what this means. 

He’s not a man. So what is he doing here? How is he here, in a world you never thought he could enter? 

Thanking Ginger for her hospitality and her patience, you take the longest way home possible. The rhythmic beat of your feet on concrete lets you ruminate. The air is warm across your cheeks, errant breezes dancing around your aimless path. The “park” has never been your favorite place to soul search, the lack of trees and tightly governed shrubs clashing against what you consider wilderness. Today, however, it’s so stark and blank as to clear your mind.

If not a host in a world built for pleasure, what is Jack? How can he survive in this world without a narrative, a directive, a fucking charging port for his battery? Does he run on batteries or did they slap a solar panel in that gorgeous head of hair?

Dropping onto a bench you bury your face in your hands, fighting the urge to laugh madly. You've seen under the facade and now you’re left with even more questions, and there’s only one person who can answer those. 

“Jack Daniels.”

“Hi. It’s…”

“Hey. It’s…it’s you.”

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner.”

“I didn’t know if you would at all, after all that.”

“I wasn’t sure either.”

There’s a pause while you gather courage, but Jack jumps in first.

“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about last time. I saw you and I meant to sneak out before you saw me, but…it was just a perfect mess, huh?”

Right to the meat of it then. Somehow that makes it easier.

“Did you know I would be there?”

Another silence, but you wait for this one to end. Jack sighs heavily, and your body aches.

“I knew you could be there.”

“And you were…what? Waiting to get up the courage to talk to me?”

“Something like that.” Jack sucks in a breath. “I had some questions of my own. I wasn’t sure I wanted the answers.”

This admission dazes you. All Jack knew of you in Westworld was a lie. The footing feels more even knowing he’s just as trepidatious as you. 

You sigh deeply, pressing the palm of your hand against your forehead.

“I think I should let you explain.”

A softer sigh tickles your ear.

“I’d really like to do that, Sugar.”

You scoff.

“You still call me that.”

“Sweetest thing I’ve…”

“Please, Jack. Don’t. Not right now.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s not…I’m not sure how I feel about everything yet. This is all frankly terrifying to me, and I need some time to understand it.”

“I understand. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be the same rodeo as before.”

Lips curling up, you warm to his words. Same old west charm. Same teasing lilt. 

Same old Jack, but maybe more than you thought.

“Can I see you Friday?”

PREVIOUS NEXT

[ros3ybabe]

Weekly Check In - November 12th, 2023 🎀

ugh I feel like I’ve been neglecting my blogs, and that’s not what I want to be doing!!!

I have finals coming up so soon, including exams and final papers (looking at you, psychology research paper). Not to mention I’m still working 5 days a week, classes 4 days a week, working out 3-5 days a week on top of all my adulting duties. It’s safe to safe I have been a little stressed lately, no doubt about that. It really got me bad because it was impacting my relationship with my boyfriend and the last thing I want to do is cause unnecessary stress and anxiety for him. I know I let my stress and anxieties get the best of me when I realized I was the one causing 98% of all of our arguments and issues this last few weeks. Luckily I was able to come to the realization that it had been my fault, so him and I talked it through and worked it out and I missed him that I would work both on myself more as well as work with my therapist and develop better coping strategies for times of high stress.

🩷 let’s recap this last week with some highlights! And then I will tal about my goals for the upcoming week!

I had to go talk to my PSYC TA about how far I’d fallen behind in the class and she was able to give me some encouragement and a lot of help and really set me on the path in the right direction, so I definitely have hope that I’ll pass this class with a B at worst, which is still an awesome grade!

I finally made it back to my cooking class and the professor was so kind, he told me it always upset his days when I’d miss class for the week and he asked me if was doing okay and how things were going. I think he’s in his 50s or 60s, and he’s just a very kind man, reminds me of my own dad. Has that typical old man dad humor and his cooking class has actually help me become more comfortable with my own cooking skills as of this semester. Definitely one of my favorite classes, and my classmates were the best too.

I registered for the next semester and I am sooo looking forward to the course load. Well, for the most part anyways. I have to retake Chemistry 2 as well as the lab but luckily the college offers a supplemental type of course to help with the actual class so that’s gonna be awesome. I’m also taking a sports medicine focused medical terminology course online, another once a week food focused course about food production, a psychology of emotion course (super super excited for this class), and I registered for a yoga class for the semester! I feel like having yoga twice a week will definitely help with stress and relaxation and just overall keep me on the right track health wise for the semester! I think I’m taking a total of almost 18 credit hours but other yoga class itself is 2 credits so it’s definitely gonna be an easier semester at least schedule and course load wise.

My work bestie had her baby shower! I can’t believe she’s 8 months pregnant with a little boy, he’s already so lucky to have her and her man as parents. She was absolutely glowing at her baby shower and I’m so happy that I got to go and support her. I’ve known her for going on three years already so it made my day to both be invited and get to see how excited she got when I went.

I bought matcha powder! (Amongst other health stuff, including some new gym gear for my lower body days) I have a mini traditional matcha set so I thought I’d finally use it no bought some matcha powder online! I’m super excited to try my hand at making myself matcha lattes. I even bought a milk frother so I’m a little excited.

I changed up my fitness goals and routine a bit. I’m still going to the gym 3 days a week for weight lifting, but now two of those are lower body days and the other is an upper body day. I’m also going to continue with my two days of cardio but on those two days I am also going to do some at home mat Pilates to help with my overall fitness, appearance, and health goals. I’ve heard that some lower intensity workouts are pretty good for women with PCOS so I thought incorporating that would be a good idea.

I’m Vitamin D deficient and I had no idea! I used to take vitamin D supplements at my old doctors request when I was a teenager but I stopped when I can rot college because I was no longer being advised to take it nor were my blood levels being check regularly so I figured ehh not a big deal but I recently got lab work done and yep, I am semi severely vitamin d deficient. So now I gotta look into different foods I can incorporate as well as a vitamin d supplement and more time in the sun!

I’ve been keeping up a decent skincare routine with a bunch of new products I bought and can I just say, the Anua Heartleaf Oil Cleanser is an absolute god send. I’m obsessed with Asian/Korean skincare. It’s done so much for my skin, I can’t recommend it enough!

overall, not a bad week this last week. this recap is for only (mainly) November 4th through yesterday, November 11th.

🩷 my upcoming goals and things for this week! (November 12th thru 18th)

Keep up with all my homework and turning assignments in completed and on time. I’m trying to finish the semester off strong, or at least as strong as I can. That just means it’s grind time and I gotta buckle down and get my school stuff done.

Insurance. I need to purchase insurance because the state I live in says I make too much to qualify for full coverage insurance which is an issue with the meds I take and the doctors I currently see, as well as my therapist. Adulting, yay!

Complete at least a draft and/or reel for my dietetics mentor by Saturday/next Sunday as the deadline was to have something sent to her by Monday at noon. So my goal is to have some drafts of content for her as soon as possible.

Work out at least three days this week. I’ve been consistent with going every week for the last four weeks but I haven’t been as consistent with how many days within the week that I’ve been going. So that’s definitely a goal of mine.

Look into a Pilates class/studio I can join by the beginning of next semester. I definitely want to take some classes to help with form and proper technique, but I think I want to give myself some time to build more confidence so that way I can give it my all in the future classes I take. Plus, my finances don’t exactly permit me taking Pilates classes at the moment. So my goal is to do some research now and then make a decision by mid January.

My boyfriend and I are hitting a year and a half together this week! Ahh I love him so much, I’m so excited for yet another milestone. Pretty soon we’ll be coming up on two years and I just couldn’t be happier. My man is my best friend, I’m so lucky and grateful that I have him in my life, especially as my partner <3

Attempt to make a matcha latte! My matcha powder comes in this week so I’m gonna try my hand at making my own matcha now!

Keep consistent with my skin care and self care. Also pick up journaling again this week as I think it’ll help me sort out my stressors and anxieties without harming my relationship with my man or my relationship with myself. Self care and working on my own well being benefit me in so many ways, I just need to keep consistent with it.

Restart my Duolingo and Busuu streaks as an attempt to get back into learning the Japanese language! Also begin to pick up Spanish again! Spanish is not too difficult for me to understand as a lot of people I’m around speak the language and I also took classes in high school and some in college. So I think splitting my time between Spanish and Japanese will be good and keep me from being bored and dropping my language studies altogether. I’m going to start with Spanish Duolingo and just go from there with it! once I get more comfortable with the languages I will start making small posts in those languages! Spanish will definitely come easier than Japanese tho, that’s for sure.

that’s all for this upcoming week! It feels like it’s going to be busy but next week is our break for thanksgiving so that’s one week of rest and relaxation and recovery for me. I won’t be spending the holiday with anyone but I don’t mind, it gives me a day to be mindful and grateful and just give me some time to myself that day, and for the whole week. Everyone who knows me in person knows I definitely need the time for myself. I think it’ll be very restorative for sure.

for those of you who follow my side blogs for my fitness, I’ll be posting to it here soon as well! I think I might update you on my current split and routine more in depth then what I mentioned here. And I’m going to drop a review of some of the new skincare products I’ve recently bought and tried as well! I’ll try to do a mid week update this week on this blog too!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[spacemanxpaninis]

☕ - If you and your F/O went to a cafe, what would your drink orders be?

🍓 - After your drinks, would you order desserts? What would you order?

AHHHHH DGCSDCVX I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD DO IT 🥺 and yesterday I went to a local French café so this was perfectttttt ahem anyhoo!!!

☕️- Starting with me, I pretty much always get a london fog or a matcha latte 🖤 ya girl is not a coffee person 😆 but as far as The Squad™ goes:

❤️‍🔥: At first she’s just like a fuckin uhhhh coffee???? Then she learns she can get ✨flavors✨ and ✨SPRINKLES✨ and oh my god. One frappuccino for my frappu-queeno. Karlach dies when I say that and demands I say it to the barista too. She’s lucky I simp for her love her.

⚜️: My boy Louis is FRENCH so it’s going to depend on the time of day. Morning? Probably café au lait. Afternoon? Probably un noisette. I’m just sitting there with my tea of shame like woohoo babe you’re so authentic!!! like we’re not LITERALLY IN FRANCE AND I’M JUST THE AMERICAN WHO MARRIED INTO TS

👽: Insists it’s cringe to get anything other than a rEGuLAr cOFfeE but then sees me with my matcha and is like it’s green??? And I’m like yessir we love chlorophyll in this house isn’t it pretty 🥰 and suddenly both of us are always there in the café with our violently green cups because you cannot convince me this man isn’t a sucker for brightly colored shit look at him. Howard and I both love it when they draw stuff in the foam. Since we’re regulars the baristas have started surprising us with nerd shit on our nerd drinks!

📒: When starbucks released that lavender cold foam? Yeah that was for Annie actually. She loves it. Her absolute favorite is an iced latte with lavender cold foam and I often get a lavender matcha to match 🥰

💅🏼: Max is like Howard, he lowkey thinks it’s unmanly to get, like, not a black coffee. Thus it becomes a running joke that he gets a black coffee when he’s dressed what he deems ‘regular’ or even boring, and a fancy lil cinnamon chaiccino when he’s crossdressing. Thinks my matcha is sus AF becauss it’s green and teasingly gives me shit for it, but does give my London Fog a try.

⚔️: I also don’t think Eowyn would actually be a big coffee person. She prefers tea, something calming or floral usually. I can see her getting a good jasmine tea and really loving it 🥰 she also enjoys my London Fog, too, so sometimes we share our drinks!

🍓- I LOVE A BEAR CLAW 😤 anything almond like that? HELL YEAH. Or a chocolate croissant? HELL! YEAH! My dumbass just loves pastries though fr

❤️‍🔥: All the desserts! Ok, maybe not all, but we always get two or three to split. She also likes bear claws and thinks the name is badass, so we usually get one of those and something wonderfully impractical that we have no business consuming in the morning, like a long thin bar of dulce de leche cake or a cupcake that was so cute she needed it immediately.

⚜️: Oh Louis is with me on the croissants. Except those are not chocolate croissants, apparently it’s pain au chocolat and the Americans just don’t know what tf we’re talking about. I’d be offended if he wasn’t A. right B. cute C. buying me said pain au chocolat and also exposing me to chausson aux pommes another time 😌

👽: Bro you ever had? Fuckin BABKA? Very fire. Miss Howard with those tiny little starbucks scones, his mom knows a lady. Secondary location baby. Our asses are hitting up a legit bakery. Café day with Howard and I goes hard 😤 and if anything else looks good? He gets it he’s my lil princess 😌

📒: Little fruit tarts! Or if it’s early a strawberry and peach danish. We cut them in half and split them 🥰

💅🏼: It’s a fifty-fifty what dessert we get with our drinks, typically either a traditional dessert or just, like, wonderfully shitty donuts from the closest shop in Toledo. Lebanese sweets are so boss dude. Namoura or baklava is always a good choice! As far as the donuts we’d get, I love a maple donut or an old-fashioned (which given it’s the 1950s, maybe that’s just a donut 😂) and Max usually gets a chocolate one!

⚔️: Eowyn seems like an apple strudel or bear claw girlie too! She and I are also splitters and sharers, so the one of each cut in half works perfectly.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK 🥰

[jujutsubaby]

The coffee break concept is sooooo adorable I am obsessed!!

From Pochita's, can I order a matcha latte with oat milk and a mochi donut?

a/n: thanks for your ask cutie ❣️ another matcha latte with oat milk lover i see… bee tee dubs my cat’s name is mochi 😻 hope u enjoy n i hope u had fun participating hehe ~

⭐️ WELCOME TO POCHITA'S ! ⭐️

🤍 PAIRING. himeno

🤍 WORD COUNT. 1.1k

you look at your watch. 9:34. 26 more minutes of your break. the weather outside was gorgeous and the cafe wasn’t as crowded as it usually is. probably because it’s the weekend, but nonetheless, you use this as a prime opportunity to make yourself a matcha latte with oatmilk and head outside to make progress on the book you were reading. hm, maybe a mochi donut wouldn’t hurt either. 

you loved working as a barista here, and you wouldn’t change it for the world, but it’s hard to see the quiet of the city during the weekdays when everyone from public safety was scrambling to grab a coffee before their next meeting. you rarely took up weekend shifts, but today just felt different. maybe your monotonous life would change today, despite how far-fetched that sounded. 

you’re far too engrossed in your book, and so you don’t pay attention to who’s coming and going, and who’s waiting outside for their drinks.

“hey, wait, are you reading fourth wing?” you turn to look at the inquisitive voice and come face to face with a woman wearing a public safety uniform and large eyepatch over one of her eyes. the other is bright green and sparkles distractingly at you. her hair is shorn in a practical short haircut, but she pulls it off well, you note. she smells slightly of cigarettes and peppermint, and leans a little too close when looking over your shoulder, but strangely, you don’t mind.

“o-oh, yeah, it is” you say, taken aback by her. “i loved that book! finished it in a week” she says, laughing softly. 

 “you public safety folks got time to read now?” you say playfully. she laughs. “yeah, well, had some extra time on my hands after my partner passed so what better way to spend it than reading some smutty fiction?”

her forwardness catches you off guard. “oh my god, i’m so sorry!” you say, clapping a hand over your mouth in horror. how were you supposed to know that?! the woman’s eye doesn’t stop sparkling, however, to your surprise. still wearing her warm smile, she continues. 

“yeah, he was a sweet kid. it was hard to lose him, but he’s hardly the first partner i’ve lost, and he won’t be the last.” she shrugs. “that’s life in public safety, i guess. that’s what makes escaping so nice,” she finishes, gesturing at your book. you’ve since closed fourth wing in favor of hanging onto her every word. 

“don’t you get scared for your own safety?” you can’t help asking, your voice sounding small and meek. you must look so pathetic to her, flogging cute little drinks all day while she’s out risking life and limb. 

she laughs again. “obviously! every day of my life! but we can’t let something little like fear get in the way of us living our lives. that’s why i try to appreciate the little things, like reading fun books and visiting my favorite cafe! seriously, the drinks you guys make give me the will to live!” (you have to tell yourself to calm down at that, since you suddenly feel all blushy and silly and shy like a schoolgirl nursing a crush at the fact that pochita’s is her favorite cafe.)

still, you can’t help but wonder how it would feel for her, to lose everybody she got close to — and to have to expect it to happen over and over again. you can’t imagine what a lonesome existence it must be, and it makes your chest ache to think of someone as warm and gregarious as her being left alone again and again.   

damn, all this sucks for her. but you couldn’t ignore how warm she made you feel inside when she said that. you can see it in her eyes – despite what she’s been through, she’s like everyone else: a little bit lonely and looking for connection. “i’m so sorry to hear that…” oh shit, you realize you don’t even know her name. 

“himeno.” “himeno,” you repeat back. her name feels like it belongs in your mouth. “i’m glad you can at least come here and get away for a bit,” gesturing to the cafe. 

himeno laughs, once again, but this time her soft laugh makes your heart beat a tiny bit faster. “yeah, only for a bit. gotta back and finish up some paperwork with my team.” she says, gesturing to the public safety building a couple blocks away. 

you’re quiet for a second, and then make a snap decision. getting up from your seat, you ask her, “what’re you having today? i’ll make it for you.”

she seems taken aback. “oh, i was just here getting coffees for my team,” she replied, pointing to the tray of takeaway cups on her table. “besides, aren’t you on break?”

you smile at her and boldly decide to squeeze her hand. “i’ll make it for you,” you repeat. “and it’ll be on the house. now, what’s your drink?”

“uh…i’ll have whatever you were having,” she says; endearingly she suddenly seems a little shy. “it looked really good when you were drinking it.” 

“oat matcha it is!” you grin inwardly; you definitely know your way around a matcha whisk, and you’re excited at a little chance to show off to himeno. 

you both head inside and continue chatting as you prepare her drink. you note with satisfaction that she intently watches your expert hands at work. you look at himeno’s hands, and wonder what it’s like to hold them, have them hold you, hold each other close. 

your thoughts almost get the better of you but you snap out of it. you decide to throw a little lavender essence in, too; something about himeno just inspires you to go all out.

you hand himeno her drink, and you find yourself wishing you could speak to her longer. you usually did nothing during your breaks, so you’ll miss this stark contrast. 

himeno, seemingly to have read your mind, smiles sweetly. “thanks. by the way…” she pretends to think for a bit. “what’s a pretty little thing like you doing working on a saturday?”

you try hard to hide the blush uncontrollably rushing to your cheeks. “i could say the same for you.” she raises her hands up in defeat. “okay, okay, you got me. we both don’t have lives and are working on the weekend.” she jests, and you laugh. you think you’ll laugh at anything she says. 

you’re already on a roll with bold moves today so might as well go for it. “well, you doing anything later after work?”

himeno beams at you. “thought you’d never ask.” she quickly takes out a pen and grabs a napkin from the counter as she scribbles her number on it. “when do you get off?”

“3 in the afternoon,” you say, sounding giddy like a schoolgirl. 

“okay then, text me at 3.” she then gives you a smile so suave it should be illegal. “i’ll be waiting, beautiful.”

[pearls-notes-from-asia]

Day 5

We went to Asakusa in the morning. I asked Josh to take some photos of me + strawberry tanghulu, but they were so bad—all 11 of them—that I guffawed in the middle of the street looking at the pictures. I can't tell if it's him or me, honestly.

Other than tanghulu, we had dango, salted cucumber, mochi, Taiwanese fried chicken, matcha latte with warabi mochi, matcha beer, yakisoba, regular okonomiyaki, some carbonara okonomiyaki, and sake. (The average sake here is so much better than the nice sake we've tried at home.) Then, at the Ginza station we stopped for some hot brothy soba with yuzu. That was probably my favorite meal so far. It was a standing noodle counter in a corner of the leaking part of the station. I thought I'd be too full to have more than a bite, but I finished half the bowl.

We were originally going to get back to the Airbnb so Josh could work, but we met up with Talladas instead. It was nice to see familiar faces. They had already had an eventful morning—lost bags, three kids plus stroller on a bus in rush hour, Pokemon Mega Center. We got coffee with them and sat outside on a rooftop swapping dating/engagement stories in Sunshine City. That first picture is Savannah wandering off to admire the tiny house in the garden. Does she know she's that small too? So stinking cute.

There was Wi-fi at the mall so Josh worked for like an hour and then tried to find some shoes. Sunshine City is much better with people in it. He didn't find anything, but I found the ice cream that Michelle recommended. Cremista? It was good. Creamy but light—like actually light, no dairy aftertaste, and the cone was made out of shortbread wafer biscuit.

We got back around 6 and ordered kaisendon. I thought about how hard it must be to be Japanese in the US... how can seafood taste so different, so remarkably better in one place compared to another? We all live on the same planet. We even share the same oceans. It's a mystery, somewhat. We'll just have to enjoy the seafood here while we can.

[foxlin-fantasia]

People I Want to Get to Know Better

Tagged By: @archaiclumina (sorry i'm late!!)

Last Song: sympathy is a knife by Charli XCX

Favorite Color: Green! Specifically the shade of a matcha latte.

Currently Watching: Little Witch Academia. Very cute so far!!

Last Movie: Heathers. "Lick it up baby. Lick. It. Up."

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: big savory lover here, constantly craving chips or something cheesey. I really love vegetables too, & could eat a big salad every day!

Relationship Status: Been with my partner J for 10 years now <3

Current Obsessions: FFXIV, always. I also love the Legend of Zelda & have a BoTW AU occasionally kicking around in my head with my WoL. I've started another run on my switch so the brainworms have returned lol

Last Thing I Googled: Most likely searched a word on a thesaurus.

Tagging: @cindernet-explorer, @hares-and-hounds, @sjofn-lofnsdottr, & anyone else who would like to do it!

[noonaracha]

I was tagged by the @sunshineleefelix to do the “Get to Know Me” tag game! Thank you yeeee sorry it took a minute but here I am on I.N's bday wooooo

♡ Name: Mars (on here)

♡ Number of Siblings: 1 sister!

♡ Number of Pets: None :( My aunt has a dog I help take care of tho

♡ Favorite Color: Green? But like medium green? Mint? Moss? Pickel? Basil?

♡ Favorite Author: Can't say I have one but I'm reading Pachinko by Min Jin Lee and I love her writing so far

♡ Favorite Song: Of all time is Everlong by Foo Fighters. At the moment it's Cover Me :)))

♡ Hobbies: Giffing, hoodie restoration (as of today), making matcha lattes, being annoying

♡ Favorite Holiday: Super Bowl Sunday, or birthdays of mine, friends, and family members

♡ Fun Fact/Something I’d Enjoy Sharing: I just REMOVED an alt piercing. RIP DAITH I'll miss you <3

I'm tagging @pillbug-hanjis @yejifire @dancerachanation @astrogoldenchild @meh-lina :D

[bbarican]

october 21, 2023; 8:59 pm - weekend

hi tumblr, happy weekend! kamusta naman kayo? how are your weekends so far?

as usual, just dropping by to post some updates here (usually and mostly for myself but if you do end up reading these, thank you ♡)

personal:

today was super lovely, we ended up going to makati for lunch and a bit of shopping

my mom bought us new sunnies and im super happy kasi i have new pair to wear to our trips soon

we tried sunnies coffee's spanish latte and tbh sobrang sarap niya as in super high quality ng lasa niya not like pick up coffee or but first coffee (imo!) which i kind of expected na ganun yung lasa niya kasi theyre primarily not a brand that sells drinks talaga to begin with but it was a 10/10 for me; im excited to try their matcha tho

i decluttered my closet and i feel so light and happy about it kasi super konti nalang talaga yung natira and im 300% sure na yung mga tinira ko is sinusuot ko naman talaga

the clothes i took out, i plan on donating sa h&m since they do offer vouchers in return so im excited to do that too

food today was good too, we had shake shack for lunch, then i made my favorite cheesy bread with hot honey for dinner

im excited for tomorrow kasi my dad is finally back from japan!

im so excited for 1989 taylor's version too! i keep forgetting na i really like the songs on this album pala talaga

its my mom's birthday next week and im just excited to spend it with her; im sad na i dont have extra money to get her anything this year pero babawi nalang ako sakanya for sure

work:

i have quite a bit to do tomorrow to prep for my end of the month mtg on monday

again, for some reason kinakabahan ako pero i know naman na everything's gonna work out

we also have a sponty general assembly kasi we need all the help we can get from the designers na hindi masyadong loaded to help those who are busy to turnover their projects this and next month

im just always excited to see my office besties; i love how makulit we all are tapos nag tutugma talaga ugali naming lahat

oh my god you guys may kinaiinisan ako na officemate kol; tamad na ko to make another post about him pero long story short super tanga niya and i hate him

im so excited as in super super super excited for our company outing

friends:

this is a shocker even until now pero i really feel like 100% break na yung best friend ko and his boyfriend of 7 years

its really sad and heartbreaking kasi the guy even planned on proposing to my bestfriend na pero i know my bestfriend deserves better talaga especially with how theyve been these past few months

i miss them! noel and chesy are officially on their own and chevy is still doing her thing and i will forever be grateful na they are safe and happy

id love to meet new people though; i feel like meeting new people would be so exciting

love:

i still have bumble on my phone and the biggest update i can give yall is the fact na i just adjusted the ange range to 27-40 i think HAHA

cause i really dont want to date younger men UNLESS theyre super mature and not super bata pa talaga ng pagiisip

but yeah other than that wala as in wala akong kausap and sometimes it takes a toll on me but most of the time im fine

again, thank you for reading and caring about my updates, i love you ♡

[soft-girl-musings]

Rainstorms: What helps you fall asleep?

Teacups: Favorite beverages?

Typewriter: If you had to come up with ten words to describe your life story so far, what would they be?

hey 👉🏽👈🏽 ty for your patience lovely!

Rainstorm -> i listen to thunderstorm sounds on my google nest!! on really bad nights i turn on the Sleepy podcast on spotify, i love that dude's voice (HATE the super loud ads at the beginning of every episode though 😓)

Teacups -> my toxic watertok trait is taking a banana bag™️ supplement packet + lemon juice + lemon lime mio and mixing it in with a big ol glass of water. helps when i'm super underhydrated. I also love matcha lattes with soy milk + cherry vanilla coke :)

Typewriter -> "my 'best' has not always looked the way i've wanted."

[ladiegreyart]

Matcha Latte 🍵

Matcha, one of my faves. A powder of ground green leaves, matcha has many grades, though the main three are ceremonial, culinary, and ingredient. With foamed milk and sweetener, you have a latte!

This one is my favorite of the bunch so far- though I debated for a long while between dark or light hair. Dark added a lot of contrast, but at the end of the day it felt like too much and detracted from the main focal point, the outfit. An outfit that, in any other color, I would wear in a heartbeat.

// my linktree //

[artist-poet-lover]

Coffee He always got coffee, and I got tea.

"Opposites attract," he said while smiling.

And I believed it.

At first it was just drinks.

He liked his black, bitter, and bold.

I liked mine light, sweet, and soothing.

Opposites, we said.

Balance, we thought.

"Coffee's bold," he said once, sipping his cup with that effortless charm.

"It wakes you up, sharpens you."

"Tea's comforting," I replied, wrapping my hands around my mug.

"It soothes you, slows the world down."

He laughed a low, warm sounds that made me forget my insecurities,

if only for a moment.

"Slowing down is overrated," he teased,

and I smiled because he was everything I wasn't.

He was confident, ambitious, unshakable,.

I wanted to be close to that.

I wanted to be closer to him.

somehow, wanting to be close turned into wanting to be more like him.

It doesn't happen all at once.

You don't feel the shift when it begins,

and you won't know when it's finished.

losing yourself is soft, like the slow fading of a sunset.

you convince yourself you're still whole, still you.

But piece by piece, without a sound, you begin to slip away.

Until one day, you look around and realize the shore has vanished.

You've drifted so far, you've forgotten where you once stood.

One evening, with the faintest smile, he said,

"You'd look better in black," his eyes scanning my floral sundress.

The next day, I wore black.

"Do you really need dessert?" he teased,

and I stopped ordering it.

"Who even drinks tea?" he said over breakfast,

and by lunch I was ordering coffee.

At first, I masked the bitterness with cream and sugar,

trying to sweeten something that wasn't meant to be sweet.

It tasted wrong, like wearing shoes a size too small.

"Real coffee drinkers take it black," he said with a grin.

It felt like both approval and challenge.

So I drank it black.

Bitter on my tongue,

bitter in my chest.

I told myself it was an acquired taste.

Just like him.

I didn't even see it for what it was.

You never do.

When you love someone, the lines between compromise and self-betrayal blur.

It felt like I was still bending, not breaking.

like I was learning to be better, not losing who I was.

The changes were so gradual>

I wore the colours he liked,

laughed at the jokes that stung,

silenced the parts of me that didn't fit into his world.

I watched his favorite shows, stopped listening to the music that once filled my mornings,

folded myself into the shape of someone I thought he could love.

I stayed out later, laughed quieter.

He was coffee. Bold, unchanging, steadfast.

And I was what?

Water.

Spilling over the edges of whatever container he put me in.

We went to a cafe that day.

The barista looked at me with a bright smile.

"What can i get for you?" she asked while she was gesturing towards the menu.

And that's when I saw it.

The menu was sprawling, filled with possibilities.

Coffee, tea, lattes, matcha, and herbal blends.

So many different choices.

It was an endless list of choices I hadn't even considered in so long.

I froze while staring at all the options.

That's when I realized I had stopped choosing.

When was the last time I had tea?

Real tea.

The kind I loved,

the kind that felt like a hug in a cup.

When was the last time I chose something for myself,

without wondering if it would fit into his world,

without shaping it to belong to him too?

I thought I had been blending our lives together,

but in reality, I had been erasing mine.

I thought changing myself would make him love me more.

I thought it was love to blend, to mold, to break.

I glanced back at our table.

He sat there, scrolling through his phone.

His coffee steady and black.

He hasn't changed, not one bit.

But me?

I'd been worn down so slowly,

piece by piece,

that I'd forgotten the taste of something as simple as my favourite tea.

I kept pouring myself into his cup,

until I was nothing more than the remnant of what I once was.

I gave up my favourite tea to tea top sip his bitterness,

and now I can't remember the taste of peace.

I turned back to the barista, her patient smile waiting.

"Would you like to try it?" she asked politely.

"Yes." I said even surprising myself.

When the warm cup was handed to me, I took a sip.

The flavour was bright, new, unexpected.

It tasted like possibilities.

Like the mornings I used to cherish.

Like me, before I started forgetting who I was.

Tea wasn't just comforting.

It was a choice.

A quiet rebellion.

A step back toward the girl I use to be.

I tried to fit into his world, but in the process, I forgot what my own looked like.

Each time I became a little less of myself,

I told myself it was love.

But now I see it was surrender.

a/n: now replace "coffee" with wanting to have kids. This is a warning to myself. No matter how patient he is I cannot let myself betray myself.

[lady--lobotomy]

🦢 ACT AS YOUR DESIRED SELF NOW. 🤍

Stop waiting. Stop hesitating. Start thinking as your dream self right now. Your ideal self isn’t a stranger, a fantasy, or a far-off version of you. It’s YOU. Not tomorrow, not someday—now. You’ve written the script. You know how they act, what they think, what they feel. So step into them. BE them. 🤍

🦢 EMBODY THEM COMPLETELY

Get “delusional.” Pretend if you must, but know this: you’re not pretending. You’re aligning. Step into their shoes, their body, their mind.

How do they wake up in the morning? Do they stretch lazily in silk sheets, or leap out of bed with purpose?

What’s their favorite drink—matcha latte, iced coffee, herbal tea? Pour it now. Sip it slowly, savor it. It’s what they’d do.

How do they carry themselves? Shoulders back, head high, radiating elegance and confidence. Start walking like that now.

Ask yourself, over and over: 🤍 “Would my dream self do this? How would they feel in this moment?” And then do it.

🦢 LIVE IN THE REALITY OF YOUR DREAM SELF

Stop acting like you’re “waiting” to get there. You’re not waiting. You’re already there. You’re not in this current reality anymore. You’ve shifted into the one where everything feels right: 🤍 You’re with your comfort people. 🤍 You’re doing what you love. 🤍 You’re living in alignment with your deepest desires.

You’re not trying. You’re not hoping. You’re simply being. Acknowledge it. Feel fulfilled, because you are. This is your truth now.

🦢 STOP LOOKING FOR SIGNS

No more hunting for evidence. No more asking, “Am I there yet?” Darling, you are. Trust yourself. Trust your power.

Imagination is the only reality.

Your physical world will catch up soon, but your job isn’t to wait for it. It’s to embody it. Feel it as real right now.

🤍 SHIFT YOUR MIND, SHIFT YOUR WORLD

Here’s the secret: it’s not about becoming someone else. Your dream self isn’t a stranger—it’s YOU, refined and radiant.

Speak like them: Choose words with purpose, kindness, and confidence.

Think like them: Let go of doubt. Every thought aligns with your goals.

Feel like them: Proud, joyful, magnetic.

This isn’t pretending. This is alignment. This is claiming what’s already yours.

🦢 FINAL THOUGHTS: YOU’RE THERE. OWN IT.

Don’t hold back. Don’t hesitate. Live boldly in your dream reality.

Imagine it. Breathe it. Love it.

Know that you’ve already shifted into it.

The world may call it delusion, but you know better: this is creation. You’re not “waiting” for your dream self to arrive—they’re here. They’re YOU.

So walk in that confidence, darling. Speak, act, and live as the version of yourself you’ve always dreamed of. Because you are her. You always have been. 🦢🤍

~Lady.K