#so even when a situation is dangerous or bad for us

[larathia]

I laugh, genuinely but bitterly, at news of this kind, because it's so predictable. It's the schoolyard bully writ large, with the same dynamics, the same outcome.

Most people, you see, don't want to Cause Trouble. They don't want to Make a Scene. And mostly they hope if they're quiet and polite and Let Things Go, and Be The Bigger Person, that whatever horrible shit is happening to them will get bored and go away.

And the bullies take that as permission. And they grind a little more, and a little more, until Most People are backed into a corner as far as they will go. And the bullies don't see any danger in this because hey, nothing's happened up till now, right? Why would that change?

But see, when people have nothing left to lose, they go in one of two directions. They break, or they go fucking berserk.

Now, statistically, probably 80 percent of people - who have been raised to obey the law, to be polite, to Let Things Slide...they'll break. No judgment, I've been one of the broken and still have the cracks. It's just how a lot of people are. We don't WANT to be the bad guy. And we're raised to think that fighting back "makes us just like they are" and "even a horrible human being doesn't deserve xyz" and we'll break. We'll even choose to break.

But then there's that 20 percent or so that once they're backed right into the corner, once it's clear there's nothing more left to give, nothing left that the bullies can take, they'll snap. They'll fight. They'll kill, too, because you've already taken so much from them that there isn't a punishment left that would actually make their situation worse, so why not? Why not fight?

When you're talking about a schoolyard, that means maybe one or two students. Half a dozen at the outside, that're pushed that hard, that snap violently.

When you're talking about millions of people, however, it astonishes me (in a darkly amused way) that these corporate bullies think the solution is to press down harder. It's like swatting a snowflake onto a budding avalanche that just needed a teeny tiny push.

I have to laugh that they think adding terrorism charges will deter people who've lost their families, lost their savings, lost their entire livelihood and reason for having one. It may delay immediate copycats. People inspired, but who still have something to lose. But it won't stop the flood.

...I wonder how long it'll be, before we have enough datapoints on this graph to compare it to the rise in school shootings since the 90s?

[batwynn]

I’ve been awake since five am so take this with a grain of salt but why is there this weird assumption that depressed people want to be depressed? That we’re intentionally staying depressed, or choosing to be, or even sabotaging our mental health by choice?

I’ve tried 20+ antidepressants and 50+ different therapists over the years with varying degrees of success and failure. When something works, I hold on for it as long as I can. It’s never my choice to stop using something that works. It is always a really bad side effect, a therapist leaving the profession, insurance changes, etc. I have never, in my entire life, knowingly, intentionally tried to sabotage my health. I have always tried my best, in spite of everything working against me.

I try to tell every new doctor some version of this when I rate high on the depression test they do at the start of every appointment. I also try to explain that four of the questions are rated the way they are because I have ADHD and chronic illnesses that make eating and having a good attention span difficult. That I have anxiety, and my life is one stressful situation after another. I also lie every single time about being suicidal, because doctors do not understand that it’s a chronic, back-of-the-mind state of being and the fact that I’m Still Here means I know how to fucking manage it. (Hint: that therapy for intrusive thoughts helped!)

And every single time, they treat me like I’m doing it to myself. That I’m not Trying Hard Enough. That I’m making a choice to ‘not get help’. They never, once, consider that the record in front of their faces proves that all I’ve always done is try to get help. Or that I’m still here. Or that I’ve survived every deep depression I’ve been in. Or that I’m still visiting doctors at all after years of medical abuse.

The assumption is and always will be that I am intentionally making myself unhappy and not ‘fixing myself’. That I just don’t want to be happy.

And honestly? Fuck y’all for that. Because that right there is a high-tier reason people who get those suicidal thoughts get one step closer to death. That makes you ten times more dangerous to our health than anything we could fucking do, or not do.

[cripplecharacters]

Do you think it’s ok as a person w/o psychosis to have jokes in a story that revolve around hallucinations? Not in a ‘that person is so crazy hahahaha’ way, more like the humour comes from the character being exasperated because their hallucinations aren’t realistic and are clearly fake to them, but they’re still seeing them and they’re fed up of it.

I partially wanted to include this so that the character’s hallucinations aren’t considered to be only just scary and evil (there are some moments in the story where the hallucinations are more intense because of the character being in a bad mental place, so I wanted to avoid showing hallucinations as only dark), and partially because one of their regular hallucinations revolves around seeing wild animals, and they don’t live in an area where the animals they typically see are common, so naturally they’d be out of place. Also, this idea for the jokes mostly came from the fact that I personally suffer from paranoia/intrusive thoughts, and get very exasperated when I know one of my thoughts is unrealistic, but I’m aware that my experiences are different from people with psychosis, so wanted to check in here. Thanks:3

Hello!

Yes, I think it definitely can be done in a way that's respectful. Psychosis is obviously serious and can be scary, but so are a lot of other things that people make jokes about. I have made jokes about some of my hallucinations and I know other people who do that as well.

I think I see where you're coming from with the idea, but I will say first that even the hallucinations that are extremely obviously fake (including to the person experiencing them at that time who is aware that it's not real) can still be very stressful and scary. To have myself as an example here, a few years ago I had a visual hallucination that was clearly out of place, essentially nonsense. I'm fairly good at recognizing when I'm hallucinating something and was able to tell "that's not there, it's literally fake". At that time I did actually make fun of it because Lol, saw Weird Thing, and it was kinda funny, but it doesn't mean I didn't also stare at it and had my heart rate go up a dangerous amount. Being scared in a situation with a clearly Strange Thing of that nature is an uncontrollable physical response I think (I'm presuming it's much less intense for people who hallucinate very frequently or at all times), kinda like getting a fake spider thrown at you - you know it's fake approximately 1 second after the fact and it can be funny, but your body is still going through some sort of response because for that 1 second it took you to figure that out you got scared.

This is a very long way to say that this is both a thing that your character could joke or be frustrated by ("Why do I still feel dizzy, it was literally just [XYZ]? What the fuck.") and that scary hallucination =/= hallucination you can't joke about. Some people will actually make fun of the more distressing ones because it can be a decent coping mechanism when you're scared. It can ease up the tension, especially if other people see you and don't know what to do (it's absolutely awkward).

My one advice on the type of jokes the character makes is to keep in mind how they relate to actual psychotic people. E.g., don't make a joke that has "you'd have to be stupid to not notice that something is a hallucination" as an objective conclusion because well, a lot of us can't tell. I suppose it could be different if the character is being self-deprecating and just insulting themselves, but if you're going that in-depth on the character I'd recommend working with a sensitivity reader.

Basically try to consider - is the character joking about themself and their hallucination, or are they just punching down psychotic people? Again, jokes on how "psychotic people be like" aren't sacred or fully off limits, but it's not really what I'd be looking for from an outsider author.

There's also I think room for showing hallucinations as strictly scary/dark (most, if not all of us have/had these), it's just to not have horror soundtrack playing during it. If (example) your character experienced the most movie-stereotypical "demons, blood, satanic activity" type hallucinations and was actually treated with sympathy, I wouldn't consider it to be demonization of psychosis. Sometimes it can be scary and ugly, but it doesn't make the person experiencing it an evil monster.

I hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[t-allyitup]

core traits

edd:

dark trait is manipulation (hear me out) i really do think one of edd's biggest dark area traits is that he ultimately wants everyone to get along to the point of destruction, i did post about this a bit ago in relation to my fic but i feel like this desire would lead him to bending his morals and sacrificing his own sanity/peace for everyone to get along. i feel like he could easily go down the road of either 1. manipulating, blackmailing, etc etc people into staying on good terms/keeping the peace or 2. letting himself get walked all over or used or something in order to keep tension at a stasis point

as for light traits definitely his humanism, he genuinely cares about his friends and people on the cul de sac and in multiple episodes despite his participation (and sometimes masterminding) the scams he tends to prioritize safety and comfort initially, even if the sentiment is lost during the actual scam

grey traits in my opinion would be his unquestioning loyalty/blindness to failure in authority figures (his parents mainly, this isn't necessarily a bad thing it can just become very stressful and dangerous) and obsessive/compulsive nature (can be a good thing when he's concerned about safety, can be a bad thing when it drives him to be controlling (containing vs restraining))

ed:

ed's dark trait is spitefulness. hear me out! again! ed rarely shows negative emotion outside of sadness, but when he does get angry or upset, he tends to get that way as a reaction to the behavior of others. he went back and forth with double d calling him "stinky hat" when double d wanted to take his cheese, and when he got that rock in his shoe he tried to annihilate eddy because eddy was fed up and insulting him. ed reacts out of spite, not always, but it's a pretty clear trait.

light trait is his acceptance of others and openness to experience, which combine with each other well. he has a broad emotional pool and is seen "communicating" (acting responsively) to plank in a few episodes. he is validating of his friend's choices and participates in their scams/activities

grey area is his response to change. he clearly harbors some kind of difficulties with this, just various comments throughout the show and some inferences shows that he seems uncomfortable with it (cheese episode again but he would not let go of that mf)

eddy:

dark traits with eddy is a where do i even start situation. he shows lots of the qualities of machiavellianism, egoism, self interest, and spitefullness. i think in my opinion his trait is self interest. i think eddy does feel bad about what he does to the other cul de sac kids but self interest is his obsessive desire and he has a massive preoccupation with his need to fit in/feel seen so self interest is the one.

light trait is, as you probably guessed, his charisma. it is one of his most magnetic qualities and occasionally the only redeeming quality about him in general. he is compelling and direct in his approaches, genuine or not, and he channels his charisma effectively even if he uses it for evil sometimes

grey area would have to be his seeming emotional detachment from things. could lean to psychopathy, could lean to a trauma-informed response to his situations in the past. either way it creates a lower level of empathy but a higher level of protection for himself so maybe it's a grey area trait

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: month 24 “Bottled”

cw: depression

“Good morning Jasmine, How are you doing today? You said you had something you felt like you needed to say in person? Are you still experiencing a build-up of stones in your throat again?”

“Y-yeah. I mean no. I mean. It's n-not about t-that. I already told Erian, but y-you’ve been so nice… I'm, really sorry… I'm switching my provider. To Dr. Therkin.”

“Oh. Well, it's sad to see you go, but you don't have to feel sorry about it. I've met with Dr. Therkin a few times recently, and she's been a delight. You'll be in good hands, and I'll make sure Erian sends your file over to her so there's no complications.” 

“You're not, m-mad?”

“Of course not. Even if you're not using this clinic, I still care about your journey to become what you've always needed to be. If you ever need help with anything, you can always reach out as a friend… Is there anything else you wanted to discuss?”

“Um, have you sent my file to a-anyone else? I mean like… anyone d-dangerous?”

“Of course we haven't? I wouldn't allow anything like that. Look, I know Erian has a sketchy past, but he is working to be better. Trust me on that. But, I won't try to stop you if you still feel worried about your safety here. I hope the best for your transition moving forward.”

“Oh, t-thank you. H-have a n-nice day. Thank you for everything y-you’ve done for me. Bye.”

“See you later, Jasmine. Oh! If you do spot Erian, could you tell him to see me?”

“Oh. S-sure!”

* * *

“Is this important, Mayday? You do realize how little time I have right now, correct? So what is so important that you have to waste it?!”

“...Doctor?”

“Sigh… Sorry. I've been rather stressed lately. It feels like I mostly end up dealing with conspiracies than patients, and with the collapse of, certain, benefactors. Money has been tight. I can't remember the last time I had a client who just wanted to be a cat, and no complications occurred. Maybe I could use a break. What do you need?”

“Jasmine switched to a different care provider. This makes four clients this month. What's going on, Erian? Should I be worried?”

“...I was hoping you wouldn't notice. I know you don't keep up with the news, but with everything that's been happening, well, I never had the best reputation, but it's become much worse as of late. I haven't had time to do anything about it as the clients that we still have tend to be the biggest headaches. You're not in danger of losing your job if that's what has you worried, and even if you did, I could still pull some strings to have you find work elsewhere. So I'd rather you didn't trouble yourself with this situation.”

“It's really that bad, huh? Feels like it's just been one thing after the other… Are you going to be safe?” 

“Don't worry about me. I'm still useful to Iris, and no one here would dare try crossing her. Now please. Let's stop worrying about this.”

“I did have something else I needed to talk about. Please don't hate me for this, but I went back to the void this morn- 

“YOU WHAT?!”

“JUST LISTEN!!... I've been feeling this empty sensation since I left. Like I forgot something. I did find something there when I got back home. I was holding a recorder. I think you should listen.”

* * *

“I see. Does anyone else know?”

“You're the first one I've shown this to. I didn't really know what to do. Well, I still don't. I wanted to hear your thoughts on it.”

“Well. I can't exactly keep you under observation. But this is a delicate situation. You should do your best to avoid any stressors. Ideally, I'd like you to stay here for a while until we know what you're capable of.”

“That's fair. I had plans to meet up with some friends, but I heard Alexis and Aria are already going through a lot. They probably don't need me popping in.”

“Mayday? Are you feeling well?”

“Oh, don't worry, I'm fine. It's just another thing on the pile for us. But hey, we're a team now! We'll get through it.”

“If you say so… What about that other Mimic that you found, Fang, was it? Will she be a problem as well?”

“It took me a while to track down her provider, but from what I can tell, she isn't like me. We're safe in the knowledge that I'm one of a kind.”

“Good, good. That's one less headache. I mean, it's tragic she's still missing, but. Well, you understand.”

“Yeah… yeah, I think I do. I'm going to make some calls, cancel plans, and all that. Once I grab my stuff from THEMS, I'll head back here. I'll be gone a few hours.”

“Be safe, Mayday.”

* * *

“Mayday? Where are you? Mayday, it's been two days… Where are you? Ms. Abigail has no idea where you are, THEMS never saw you come back. We're worried. Please… call someone. Please let me know if you're in danger… I just hope wherever you are, you get this message.”

* * *

“Mayday. What are we doing back here?”

“You said it yourself. The void is where I belong. Here I can't hurt anyone, I won't be a headache or a burden, or a bad friend… It's true and you know it. I'm not brave, I don't actually know how to help others, I'm just pretending. I'm not nice. It's just fake. I feel awful when people hate me, and I feel nothing when I'm praised. I'm just fake nice trying to avoid getting hurt.”

“You know that's not true. You're just stuck in this feeling of isolation. You're just digging the hole deeper because you don't know what else to do. Come on, work with me. I've been where you are.”

“The last person I should be taking advice from is a voice in my head. You should hate me. You've been trying to poke through, to get me to notice you were with me. And I ignored you. I said I'd try reaching out, going to therapy, and I didn't. Because I didn't want to deal with it.”

“Didn't want to and couldn't handle it, are two very different things. You've been going through a lot these past few months. Please, let's leave while we can. Before too long has passed.”

“Who would care? Look, to someone from outside, everything looks hunky dory. But you don't understand what it's like. My friends have more important things than some weirdo who inserted herself into their lives, Abi always tries to be nice, but that blinding tone she has sometimes. She doesn't like what I've always been. She stops me from talking about it in our off time. She doesn't want to think about it. She doesn't know me anymore. Now I might lose my job. Fang, the only possible thing that could understand what I'm going through is unable to ever be found. She found happiness by running away. What's so awful about me doing the same?!?!”

“Are you happy right now?”

“Go away. I want to be alone. I was meant to be alone.”

“...” 

Mimic HRT: month 25 “...”

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Mimic HRT: month 26 “...”

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Mimic HRT: month 29 “...”

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Mimic HRT: month 41 “...”

“What are you doing?”

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Mimic HRT: month 62 “...”

“Keeping track of how much time is passing.”

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Mimic HRT: month 128 “...”

“Stop it.”

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Mimic HRT: mo|  |nth 426

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“I said stop it! Time doesn't matter here! If I wanted to go back the second I arrived, I could, but I'm staying.” 

“...And how many people have you hurt waiting this long?”

“If they cared, then they'd have been here by now. I'm an awful person. Just admit it. I only think about myself, I did this to them. I cut myself from their lives for selfish reasons. I'm a monster. A dangerous, self-destructive monster… Go away already.”

“I might take a while to open up.”

“I'm sorry for what I said in that recording. I was wrong, and I'm sorry I can't help you right now. I won't say anything else for now. I'll wait until you're ready to talk.”

“Take your time. I'm here for you…”

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[gremlinaristocrat]

A list of several things Polyta doesn’t do while making the choice to abandon Jiro:

Try to get Sunny’s input (you know, that person who demonstrates unique insight into Jiro’s mental state, and who must still be within shouting distance since you heard the Bastard’s monologue) or rescue her (depending on how that girder angled as it fell you might not even have to reach her, just pop the portal horizontally instead of vertically and hope the kinetic energy from Sunny’s fall into it doesn’t lead to her being splattered across a palm tree)

Leave Mercy some healing potions in exchange for the guns (they’re miracles to her, and if you’re about to conclude the mission it’s not like you need them), or try to recruit her (you’re short on manpower, and the Major would probably get a kick out of having something to protect again), or leave any kind of physical evidence your adventure with her wasn’t just a psychotic break (she jumped to “guilt-induced hallucination” when faced with something she couldn’t understand, a keepsake could do a lot for this lady’s sanity).

Question whether an eldritch bloodangel bapy and a crazed serial killer with a visible head wound are really your best sources of life advice.

Agree in principle, resolve to use the Bottled Homecoming whenever you’re next in trouble, but keep trying to save your allies for as long as it doesn’t have unavoidable costs for you. (You’re not in immediate danger, the Bastard left chasing Jiro! There’s no downside to giving yourself five more minutes to figure something out!)

Consider whether the people you’re returning in order to lead will still accept your leadership after surrendering their shared crush to the lizardbirb imperialists and the Nightmare Gargoyle. (Or whether they’ll even trust your version of events, given how surprising Jiro’s actions were, and the fact you’re the only witness to the fate of your main competitor for said leadership.)

Pictured: what Casandra will probably be imagining after hearing your story.

. . . I mean, Poly-sama probably even made the """right""" decision based on what she knew (though there’s a lot of strategically relevant stuff that’s happened on the island which could make her look and/or feel like a clown and/or monster when she gets caught back up). But this kid is so profoundly BAD at being heartless that for her the best consequences are legit more likely to come from “abandon Consequentialism, just stick to Principles and Virtues”. (c.f. a couple pages ago when she tried to make the Hard But Necessary Decision™ to abandon an ally and betray a protector so she and her love interest would be free to . . . launch themselves into the Lake of Searing Flame?)

To sum up, this is a very clever depiction of a character being a very specific and sympathetic kind of stupid. It’s like she’s shut part of her brain off (which is exactly what happened, she’s committed to doing something her entire personality is against, of course she’ll self-sabotage, of course she won’t be able to dispassionately analyze how to get the best return on her sin-vestment), it’s like she’s convinced herself that because she’s making a sacrifice and going against her moral code the universe owes her a win (I’d say that’s symptomatic of living in a decently-polished strategy game where every downside is paired with an upside – if the unit has higher ATK for the same cost that means it has lower SPD and/or DEF, if you violate your morals in the name of your island then that means your island will be better off - but actually I’m pretty sure real people think like this a lot), and more than anything, it’s like she’s a traumatized teenager doing her best (we never heard what happened to the rest of her Love Battalion, did we?) and letting a stressful situation force her to miss out on like a dozen Pareto improvements to her strategy.

UPDATE!

Read Foreach from the beginning HERE.

Keep up to date! Join the Discord here!

[chaos-bites]

There is comfort in the madness - a sort of familiarity. I find myself lost in it sometimes. I allow myself to be whisked away by the winds of the hurricane and embrace its cruelty, as if scratching my skin and breaking my bones was a proper way of showing affection.

I find comfort in the madness, until I don't. Until the pain and fear finally catches up to me, and my mind registers the danger of the situation. The sense of familiarity is comforting, but the winds battering my body and the debris slicing my cheeks pulls me out of the trance-like state I found myself in.

Chaos can be comforting, but recognizing when it's actually needed is an essential skill.

[brick-van-dyke]

If there's one thing I've respectively noticed from Zionists and defenders of Israeli war crimes, it's that every source, argument and potential avenue to explore each explanation is riddled with cherry picking, moving the goalposts and mental gymnastics to explain why their conclusions, which typically are barely even related to the sources they use, somehow overshadow literal reality and what we see with our own eyes.

While scrolling, one example I came across was the repetitive misrepresentation of BLM, antifa and quotes from Martin Luther King Jr, as well as statistics, scholarly journal articles and government website information. These are all good sources, yet every single time they're mangled completely until the only possible "interpretation" of any of them is "well Israel is right to defend itself after shorting rockets beforehand because the retaliation was brutal and all Arabs are bad by default therefore". As if any of these sources are even about individual exceptions of Israel versus hatred towards Arabs.

I think what I find most absurd, as someone in the middle of their own studies, is how every bit of critical thinking and logic goes out the window as they do every single thing possible to do what professors worldwide say NOT to do when evaluating sources. It's like watching a race to see who can tangle and misconstrue scientific information to fit their world view the fastest. Then said people say "um actually I studied at university before so it's actually not wrong that I'm doing this exact this everyone is warned not to do because I have a permit". Ignorance I can forgive, but willful and arrogant manipulation? That's another thing entirely.

[blujayonthewing]

SUPREMELY frustrating that we found something actually really cool and intriguing and plot relevant in tonight's session but I'm still so constantly preoccupied with whether the DM is going to 100% kill us with sheer poor game design that I barely have enough brainspace left over to even enjoy it

[daylighteclipsed]

the sp kids are so baby in the early seasons I’m gonna cry

[unproduciblesmackdown]

payoff of being embedded in a unit of authoritarianism since birth is sure then being able to go like "wow this is just like dynamics & phenomena i experienced up close & personal, repeatedly, in many contexts & configurations in my first two decades of life" plus also beyond that in abuse culture world & the noncoincidence that even interactions beyond the confines of the home(tm) reinforced / did not contradict the hierarchy & concomitant abuse within....but then like hey yeah also the Larger Units of hierarchy & abuse / authoritarianism (ft. their logics & practices necessary for continuously & continually shoring up that hierarchy) can also make it like hey yeah the Two Parent abusive nuclear family more like the Two Party [the US is also a one party state but in typical american extravagance they have two] where right wingness is defined by the degree of directly embracing white supremacy & "left wing" is "anything else" hence like wow The Left is always infighting (everyone with any ideas besides "umm christofascist white ethnostate?" so like yeah there are many other ideas) vs The Right's admirable cohesion (simply re: the white supremacy idea which also necessarily embraces all other Out Group / Nonperson paradigms & practices b/c that's what all already has been necessary for shoring up the [when has the US been a nongenocidal non white supremacist non oligarchy])

like obviously individual experiences & contexts vary but like narrowing in on [the Family as immediate relations ideally cordoned off into nuclear households] ft. [Parental Authority the top priority of which is preserving that authority, ideally patriarchal, an abusive mother e.g.? hey, that ought to be the father] times it's like, think people tend to struggle re: having the "nicer" / "safer" parent who was also shitted on as well but also at the end of the day would always side with the "meaner" "more dangerous" parent, even in whatever terms most sympathetic to the abused parties, with the underlying logic that we're always just going to have to deal with them so some secret strategic mitigation is the best that can be done, perhaps the equivalent of being sent a ":(" after an Onslaught Of Expressed / Enforced Authority(tm) event....the tendency to see the best in any lack of actual intervention / protection on the assumption That Could Never Happen Anyway & forever At Least that the one parent isn't as bad as the other [the Not That Bad / Could've Been Worse infocation, like free bingo square in manifestations of minimization if not outright abuse denial] & all the sympathy for, you know, being human & doing their best(tm) &c which sure might all be true but the abused parties (oft children, more vulnerable than adults, by virtue of being children i.e. considered legal property of some specific adults & theoretical property of any adults in general (the paternal logic in any "protect [xyz]" like maintain one group's supposed ownership / control over [xyz] "for their sake" then? great) & also generally smaller & newer at being alive in this world) but who are liable to not extend that sympathy to themselves (or certainly not be extended that sympathy....when is "they're doing their best / they're only human / they mean well or whatever / they love you, they're family" successfully deployed the Thwart an abusive parent like it is to tell an abused child to not be too resentful of this situation, when is it actually deployed toward the abusive parent at all really. & again in the lack of boundary between the authoritarianism within many individual family households & that of the state they exist in (here re: the US) like that naturally one encounters the logic of abuse expressed just as "common knowledge" & the Assumptions of other people, e.g. the rejection of a parent having zero access to a child, the reinforcement of automatic apologia deployed for whatever a parent could possibly do, argued for "family", yet not deployed the same way to automatically defend anything thee child(tm) could do, thinking emoji lol....see: like the non boundary between [the Patriarchal home/family(tm)] & capitalism when uh oh capitalism the system of continuously maximizing exploitation Needs various forms of labor to be unpaid, uh oh another lack of boundary when white supremacy is used to also shore up the patriarchy that shores up the white supremacy, e.g. that even if in some "inferior" class it's treated as More Important that at least you're not that And black, the theoretical ideal/normal white man is a person while a white woman is a woman while a black woman is black, white women could have any legal property via chattel slavery which needed white women's participation to help enforce, the specter of sexual violence all coming from nonwhite & especially black men & it's up to the genteel white man to Protect Women (see prev, implicitly white or you'd have to specify otherwise)

anyway that is to get around to pointing to the Two Parent System wherein so shockingly the results are the same as the One Parent System re: abuse maintaining The Family (properly, i.e. unquestionable & certainly undeniable parental access to children, & "ideally" ofc again the patriarchal Father as ultimate authority w/ownership over the Mother, who in turn is theoretically honored for that motherhood (at least you own your children, insofar as it doesn't contradict w/what the father wants to do with his superior claim to ownership) & then finally all the obviously shittiness from being in that position in a patriarchy is in turn dumped on The Children who are ungrateful & owe the mother everything Because of what the broader society & immediate personal expressions of that abuse have done to her. see also ofc that two adults likely don't have the resources to raise a child in time or money or energy, maybe there's only one but also even an extended family's worth of adults aren't enough, is it enough when a child is sent to school for some other adults to be in charge most of the day, or even if someone is hired to look after them beyond that, all this ofc with the assumed premise that a child is always limited to the various Domains of The Adults In Charge, & from there i segue into how naturally being in gay baby jail unless & until adults are no longer recognized as Legally In Charge Of You (the grand like 5 minutes it's relatively been since the ideal timeline of a woman's life wasn't being legal property of her father until asap passed along to legal property of her husband. still considered ideal ofc but like with "maybe you can have a bank account" now & "maybe you can become 29 before you're in Old Maid danger" Maybe, i said, Maybe....anyway that obviously adults(tm) being divided up (atomised. spritz) into Households isn't even supposed to be enough to live on their own, re: necessitating Marriage, much less uh oh having kids who are stuck with their parents who are stuck with them, but then all the obvious actual problems & abuses inflicted on Adults to have to have their family households & exploited jobs are dumped on the children who Must appreciate & be loyal to the parents (i.e. never Deny Access) while yknow kids have Fake Problems they're whining about, the one Real Problem of having to pay a bill gets the payoff of leverage to tell your children to shut the fuck up or perhaps the more vulnerable spouse

hm didn't segue right into "so shoutout to like The Ratchet Effect diagrams lol, the "Two" Party System where its supposed left wing Blocks Movement To The Left, right wing Moves Everything To The Right" but even that is like, mm, conferring a passivity to what democrats do in the continual movement to the right (won an election? lost an election? the lesson either way is The Right Is Right; exact same logic as in "winning or losing" "the war on crime" like the collection & analysis of whatever statistics show the trend of some "crime" is increasing in frequency or magnitude? show that it's decreasing? the lesson either way is Cops Need More Power) like the institutional effort of democrats to push a candidate nobody wants through primaries (did we even do that this time around. oh great that the assumed candidate even graciously agreed to not force themself as The Candidate, & now like 5 min left with the Next In Line candidate dumped on everyone now with the lesson for the left(tm) to shut up already lol) & then it's up to Grassroots Voters. it's up to Unity & well we all Need to listen to the white supremacists, points were made, in the "elections" with voting as limited as possible & with the electoral college & supreme court as Safeguards against democracy & here's the senate, eternally thus, & again the conclusions will always manage to be moving To The Right, paraphrasing from twitter like democrats are about to be or already at the point of "in the name of unity we will no longer be running against republicans; it's too divisive :(" which yknow is already The Statements of all of yesterday from various like "i'm the republican official white supremacy agree-er now" after also the entire campaign of "no, I'm the fascist" where like wow shocking that the appeal to the fascists didn't win a) the fascists who will ofc want the even more overt fascism, why wouldn't they or b) the people who want antifascism actually, and do not want fascism; who could have foreseen? & it's always the fault of being Too Antifascist for the actions of the fascists or the Diplomatic Comprimises the other party makes with the fascists &/or their Failure to thwart them....the Nicer, Safer party in power is surely doing their best & at least they're not the Meaner, More Dangerous one but at the end of the day they'll always side with that party over america(tm) & those bearing the brunt of the actions of State Power can be told to keep their chin up or else to stop acting out b/c how do you expect that state power to respond, cmon, you bring it upon yourself, & you Have to work with them & understand all their feelings & your role in resolving those feelings by being lesser inferior property, you do Have to understand, b/c in the end this is All About Family, surely Good & Necessary, whoops i mean in the end this is All About America

anyway yeah i'm like damn my "nicer" (also shitty) father who was also the even more sexist & racist (& certainly no Less ableist, queerphobic) parent was basically the democratic party of the Two Parent System of Family Government lol. b/c we Need to perpetuate this Family, no other logics much less actions are acceptable....& people struggling with the Parent / Adults in their life like that who were the "safe" & "protective" ones who markedly failed to protect & minimized the harm afterwards but also in general, never to confront the reality of the situation, or do damage control like "aw some points were made at all :( ah i see you have Feelings about this :( hmm yes the Parental Power is gonna have to make some changes" & then as soon as possible (assuming reeling in the party who was deviating too much) these changes(tm) are already compromised or diminished if done at all, & then oops things incrementally might be right back to how they always were, no guarantees it won't be Worse b/c the Power is even more insecure / aware of weaknesses, & the only way this is thwarted is if the Wayward Parties can actually leverage new boundaries / less vulnerability, not b/c the supposedly sympathetic parties, who never came through where it counts & likely would also become overt antagonizers / wielders of whatever power within the Family hierarchy / turn on the more vulnerable parties to Get Them In Line, actually came through. movement Away (more disruptive to the maintenance of The Family, The State) is blocked, incrementally only ever moving everything back, & then Further....& despite this being what the power structures are, & do, the Disruptive parties liable to be scapegoated lol, can't believe the scapegoat child is ruining everything for everyone, this Family would totally improve & start being everything it could be otherwise & we ignore who actually has the power & is actually enforcing the hierarchy harming everyone to point to that scapegoat; can't believe thee left is destroying america (republican voice) can't believe the left is destroying america (democrat voice) So You See? The Undeniable Consensus. just like how i believe it was my fault my family unit was Like That & i had those experiences, according to the vast majority of Input from that family & even others who, knowing nothing, would say how Lucky i was to be relatively close to home, or just of course that oh well parents love their children & mean well & try their best. just like how i believe that being treated like i've been generally as a neurononconforming person, i.e. hated & the interpersonal abuse & bullying & ostracization & [attention possibilities: ignored, responded to but negatively, interacted with to get something from] & actually rewarding interactions or just actions being liable to get Deluxe authority responses as disruptive(tm) & ofc disobedient(tm) like hell fuckin yeah lol. just as i don't think that other people who have similar experiences or ones i don't have, i.e. assessed race being automatically seen as wrong / inferior, being isolated & undermined from all around? well gotta be their fault then, cmon lol....Abuse is actually normative, not extraordinary, in every Arena of interactions, & so are the logics / apologia / assumptions

anyway lol re: like yeah people struggling with the like betrayal of the "nooo i'm on your side, i sympathize, i'm the one who's nicer & you Need so that things aren't even worse" party, not even One Big Novel betrayal, but rather that that's what's Been done the whole time & doesn't stop. that supposedly if you have Any sympathy for that party you have to be like aw :( keep doing your thing (necessarily reining everyone in) or if you have Any sympathy for the people who also want things to improve but blame & take it out on the more disruptive parties (more disruptive to an abusive family e.g., btw. & not like i see Cohesion as necessarily some Good rather than neutral? when i'm autistic / my existence is supposedly antithetical to this? or when i'm able to look at a zillion hypothetical or actual situations & recognize how "cohesion" isn't the best goal / a destructive one / a vague concept anyways like cohesion Between Whom? on what basis? recognized & pursued how? why? up next: same as vague shit like "family" or "community" &c) then it's like yep gotta be Responsible for their feelings too if you're at all sympathetic & capitulate, The Only Possible Action, vs the idea of those in power actually making things shit stopping, much less being stopped / having to stop in the various ways that can happen....one way being "oh no, adult children who choose to be no-contact with parents" which is seen as A Tragedy, & sign of a Deteriorating Society, take me back. ah jeez oh no, look at the divorce raaates....Oh No, twentysomething women aren't pursuing marriage enoughhhh....again the undetectably identical echo when people peak vaguely talk about "conflicts" that thwart "community" or whatever, ugh nobody will date anymore, commit anymore, be friends anymore, hang out as coworkers anymore, talk to me if i want to talk to them anymore, &ccccc....

the real tl;dr is like wait ""two party"" (one party) US electoral system, just like ""two parent"" maintenance of thee family lol. ratchet effect raise your hand if you've only ever experienced Movement Away from the abusive family blocked, forever incrementally ratcheted back in to the desires & pursuits of those most in power / top of the hierarchy / thus of course most invested in the abuse, that's what the power & hierarchy is made of, sustained by, perpetuates....sorry doing our best :( sorry that's just all that's realistic, no other choice Really. cmon. kind of Your Fault if you don't agree to that & whoops now Everything is the fault of whoever doesn't agree & cooperate enough :( now look what you've done & brought upon yourself :( & we'll just forget the eruption of violence suppression happened & will happen again & be the overhanging threat all in the meantime

[neverendingford]

.

[weaselle]

i want to talk about real life villains

Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.

Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.

I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"

I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.

And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.

He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.

John Hammond.

probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.

If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.

Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.

book spoilers below.

In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.

He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.

In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.

THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.

I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.

In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.

I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.

Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.

And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.

I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.

Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.

[queenrinacat]

I work in emergency medicine, and I can tell you that a sense of doom is something we take extremely seriously. A sudden, overwhelming feeling of doom is a symptom of an imminent heart attack. When I worked 911 on an ambulance and a patient reported feeling like the world was about to end, or like they were going to die, even without any other symptoms? We rushed them to the hospital as fast as we possibly could.

I'm saying this from a place of genuine care: if you are seeing ghosts or shadows or having nightmares... and sageing, eggshells, Crystal's, and psychics arent cutting it..

Please.. please... check for things like gas leaks, water damage, vermin. I'm not saying your house isnt haunted, I'm just saying that carbon monoxide poisoning looks a LOT like being haunted.

[luna-azzurra]

Good Traits Gone Bad

Empathy turning into manipulation

Imagine a character who is deeply empathetic, someone who genuinely feels and understands the emotions of others. At first, this makes them incredibly compassionate and kind, always there to lend an ear or offer comfort. But over time, this empathy begins to shift. Instead of just understanding how others feel, they start to use that understanding to manipulate those around them. They know exactly what to say to get people to do what they want, twisting their caring nature into a tool for control. What once was a beautiful gift becomes a weapon, used to bend others to their will without them even realizing it.

Confidence becoming arrogance

Think of someone who exudes confidence—someone who knows their worth and isn’t afraid to go after what they want. This kind of self-assuredness is magnetic and inspiring, drawing people in. But sometimes, this confidence can grow into something darker. The character starts to believe they’re always right, that their way is the best and only way. They dismiss others’ ideas and opinions, thinking they know better than everyone else. What was once a healthy self-esteem turns into arrogance, pushing people away as they start to feel belittled and unappreciated.

Ambition turning into obsession

Picture a character who is ambitious and driven, always striving for the next big achievement. Their dedication is admirable, pushing them to work hard and aim high. But ambition can have a dark side, too. Slowly, their drive becomes an obsession. They start to focus solely on their goals, willing to sacrifice anything or anyone who stands in their way. Friends, family, and even their own health fall by the wayside as they chase success at any cost. What was once an admirable quality turns destructive, consuming them completely.

Loyalty becoming blind devotion

Loyalty is such a beautiful trait. A loyal character is dependable, someone who stands by the people they care about no matter what. But loyalty can also become dangerous if it goes too far. This character might start to overlook red flags or harmful behaviors, sticking by someone or something even when it’s clearly detrimental. They become so blindly devoted that they lose sight of their own well-being and moral compass. What starts as a positive trait turns into a kind of self-destructive stubbornness, harming them more than helping.

Courage turning into recklessness

Imagine someone who’s incredibly brave, always ready to face challenges head-on and stand up for what they believe in. At first, this courage is inspiring, giving them the strength to overcome obstacles and help others. But sometimes, courage can cross a line. It turns into recklessness, making them take unnecessary risks without considering the consequences. They start to believe they’re invincible, putting themselves and others in danger because they’re too focused on proving their bravery. What was once a powerful strength becomes a dangerous flaw.

Determination becoming stubbornness

There’s something admirable about a character who never gives up, no matter how tough things get. Their determination helps them push through difficulties and keep going when others might quit. But when that determination turns into stubbornness, it’s a different story. They refuse to change their minds, even when all the signs point to a different path. They ignore advice, dismiss alternative viewpoints, and stick to their course out of sheer willpower, even when it’s clearly not working. Their once-praiseworthy persistence becomes a source of frustration for those around them.

Optimism becoming naivety

Someone who always looks on the bright side, no matter what. Their optimism is contagious, lifting the spirits of those around them and helping them see the silver lining in every situation. But if they aren’t careful, this optimism can morph into naivety. They might start ignoring real dangers or fail to recognize when they’re being taken advantage of. Their rosy outlook makes them blind to harsh realities, and they become easily deceived or led astray, all because they’re so focused on seeing the good in everything and everyone.

Protectiveness turning into possessiveness

A character who is naturally protective of their loved ones, always looking out for them and ensuring they’re safe and happy. This protectiveness is heartwarming and makes those around them feel cherished. But when protectiveness goes too far, it can become possessiveness. The character starts to feel like they own the people they care about, becoming overly controlling and jealous. They start dictating others' actions, justifying it as care, but it’s really about their need to keep everything under their control. What started as a caring instinct turns into something suffocating and unhealthy.

Altruism becoming self-neglect

Think about a character who is incredibly selfless, always putting others' needs before their own. They’re the kind of person who would give you the shirt off their back, always ready to help, always there for everyone. But this selflessness can go too far. It turns into self-neglect, where they completely disregard their own needs and well-being. They keep giving and giving until they have nothing left, leading to burnout and exhaustion. Their altruism, while beautiful, ends up harming them because they don’t know how to set boundaries or take care of themselves.

Honesty becoming brutal bluntness

There’s a lot to be said for a character who is straightforward and honest, someone who tells it like it is and doesn’t sugarcoat the truth. People appreciate their transparency and trustworthiness. But when honesty turns into brutal bluntness, it’s no longer a positive trait. This character starts to disregard others' feelings, using their honesty as an excuse to be harsh and tactless. Their words cut deep, hurting those around them, all in the name of being truthful. What was once refreshing candor becomes a source of pain, as they lose sight of the importance of kindness in communication.

[comicaurora]

I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.

When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.

So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.

The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.

This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.

The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:

Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.

And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?

Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?