#so either I’m incredibly dumb or incredibly smart

[cak3art]

Did I smash my exam or did my exam smash me

[nonsensechemicals]

crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It

[yunpupu]

Just For Show... Right? | s.mg

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note : hai hai guys I never thought I would write a smut in a comedy genre but it's funny so enjoy *wink wink*

pairing : best friend! mingi x best friend! reader

genre : comedy, fake dating, smut (warning : 18+)

word count : 2.6k

synopsis : when you lie about having a boyfriend to avoid family pity at a wedding, your best friend Mingi steps in to play the role—maybe a little too well. Between flirty antics, scandalously convincing PDA, and a very real night of very fake passion, the lines between pretend and reality blur fast. What starts as a hilarious charade turns into something messier, steamier, and way more complicated than either of you expected. Because faking it with Mingi? Yeah… turns out that might’ve been your biggest mistake—or the best decision you’ve ever made.

You’re not sure how it came to this. Actually, scratch that—you know exactly how it came to this. It started with a lie. A dumb, panicked lie.

“Yeah, I have a boyfriend,” you had blurted out at your cousin’s wedding brunch, tired of being pitied by every aunt, uncle, and dog-walking neighbor who thought your love life was a tragedy worthy of national news.

And because the universe has a twisted sense of humor, you were seated at the singles table anyway, right next to your ex and his new fiancée.

So, yeah. A lie. And then a photo. And then a bigger lie.

You needed someone tall, hot, and convincingly boyfriend-material. You needed Mingi.

Your best friend. Your sometimes-too-honest, sometimes-too-loud, sometimes-almost-naked-around-you best friend.

“Sure,” he said after laughing for five minutes straight. “I’ll fake-date you. But I want a reward.”

You blinked. “Like what, an Oscar?”

“No,” he grinned. “I want a dinner. Steak. And—” his grin turned dangerously mischievous “—if I have to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of your family, I’m going to be really convincing.”

You should’ve known then.

It turns out Mingi is an incredible fake boyfriend. Too incredible.

He holds your hand like it’s second nature, slings his arm around your shoulder like you belong there. Whispers in your ear at the table, low and warm, and kisses your temple when you laugh a little too loud. He even stole a piece of cake from your plate and made eye contact while he licked the frosting off his thumb.

You almost passed out.

Aunt Elena whispered, “He’s a keeper,” and you had to bite your tongue not to scream HE’S JUST DOING A BIT.

After dinner, your mother insisted he stay in the guest room.

Which was fine.

Until you both found out there’s only one bed.

“Oh no,” Mingi said dramatically, flopping onto the mattress like a man betrayed by fate. “Guess we’ll just have to share.”

“I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“You’ll ruin your back and then who will your fake boyfriend have to fake spoon at 3 AM?”

You threw a pillow at him. He caught it and said, “Come on, I don’t snore. I only lightly moan in my sleep.”

You were beginning to regret everything.

You lasted twenty minutes.

The bed was big enough that you both started on separate ends. But Mingi runs warm. And the AC was too high. And at some point, in a sleepy half-dream, he slung his arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest like a teddy bear.

You woke up with your face in his neck and his morning wood firmly pressed against your ass.

He blinked at you, half-awake, voice raspy. “Morning.”

“Morning,” you squeaked.

“...I’m hard.”

“I can feel that, thanks.”

A beat.

“You wanna do something about it?”

You should’ve said no. Really. That would’ve been the smart thing. Logical. Responsible.

But instead, your brain short-circuited, and you said—

“Only if you promise not to make it weird.”

Mingi made it weird. But in the best way possible.

“I just want to say,” he said as he kissed down your neck, “this is a very realistic fake relationship.”

You didn’t answer—mostly because your brain was busy melting as he slipped a hand under your shirt.

“You know,” he said between kisses, voice muffled against your skin, “for research purposes... I think we should have sex.”

"You're literally inside my shirt right now.”

“Then we’re already halfway there!”

He grinned as you rolled your eyes, then promptly shut you up with his mouth on yours.

It was messy. Loud. You knocked over a lamp. At one point, he lost his balance while trying to unbuckle his belt and hit the wall with his elbow.

“Ow— okay, okay, wait, I can still make this sexy,” he gasped.

“You’re the least sexy person I’ve ever met.”

And yet, somehow, five minutes later, you were underneath him, moaning into his mouth as he rocked into you like he’d been waiting to do it for years.

“God, you feel—” he groaned, trailing off, eyes half-lidded. “—I’m gonna need a minute after this. Maybe two.”

“I’d give you a gold medal if you could last longer than three minutes.”

“Oh? Bet?”

He lasted seven. Barely.

After, both of you stared at the ceiling, sweaty, out of breath, and in complete silence.

“Okay,” he said. “Now this is fake dating done right.”

The morning after was surprisingly not awkward.

Mingi made you coffee, wore nothing but boxers, and said, “So when’s the next family event? I need to practice being disgustingly in love with you.”

“Didn’t we peak already?”

“Oh no,” he said, grinning. “That was just the trailer. Wait till they see the full movie.”

You didn’t say it—but a small part of you wondered if this was really still fake.

Because Mingi didn’t just act like a boyfriend. He was sweet, and soft, and kissed your forehead like he meant it. He brought you snacks while you worked. Told your grandma he’d protect you from bad men like some kind of clumsy K-drama hero.

And the sex? Ridiculous. Consistent. Mind-melting. You had a fake boyfriend with benefits and you were in too deep.

Three weeks later, the charade was supposed to be over.

Except… neither of you brought it up. You went back to your own apartment, but Mingi still texted you good morning. Still called you “babe” for fun. Still sent thirst traps with captions like, “Your fake boyfriend misses you. And he’s shirtless.”

And somehow, one late night, you ended up back in his bed. Again. And again.

Until one night, lying tangled in sheets, you finally asked:

“So… what are we doing?”

Mingi blinked at you. “Cuddling. Aftercare. Why? You want water?”

“No, I mean…” You hesitated. “Are we still faking this?”

He paused.

“I mean, I’m not exactly banging other people, if that’s what you’re asking.”

You raised a brow. “So you’re monogamous in our fake relationship?”

“Well, yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck. “You’re… kinda my favorite person.”

Your heart stuttered.

“Wait, what?”

Mingi groaned. “Don’t make me say gross things. I already did the forehead kiss thing! What more do you want from me, woman?”

You laughed. Hard. “Are you trying to confess your feelings or win a comedy award?”

“Both,” he deadpanned. “I want to make you laugh and scream my name.”

You hit him with a pillow. He tackled you. You kissed him like you meant it.

And this time, it wasn’t for show.

[hxrsheykisses]

Thank you for telling at me to request you LMAO

Anyways, I wanted to ask if you could write about the guys with a doll collector female friend! Like, she has all the newest dolls, limited dolls and stuff! Old dolls, creepy dolls, fashion dolls you name it! And I they're all organized and neat on her shelves! And to spice it up a bit she herself dresses like a porcelain doll!

(I love the doll aesthetic lmao) Take Ur time when writting and thank you❤️

Now that’s more like it🥳 Don’t ever be hesitant to request because 99% of the time I’m happy to do your request. The 1% being what’s listed in my rules🥰 Thank you for requesting!

Wow. Uh. Okay?

Definitely not something they’d expect—or more specifically they were shocked to have someone like you in their little weird friend group when you look like..that.

They weren’t saying it was bad…well, Bill was saying how it was childish but that’s only because he’s a hypocrite. But anyway, it was a new thing for them!

They would’ve never expected a girl who dressed herself like a doll most of the time would want to be involved in their shenanigans. It was weird for them to be walking around with a girl who looked like a porcelain doll. There’s so many ways that you stick out like a sore thumb;

Your face isn’t riddled with acne, even if you did have some, it wasn’t to their extent. They dressed in more comfortable clothing that may have some of their interests littered over their shirts while you wore big poofy dresses, dainty shoes, had pastel accessories to match. They had an obvious geek appearance and you had an appearance that was unique in so many ways. Oh, and we can’t forget about the things you collect. You stack your shelves with dolls of all kinds. Haunted, cute, porcelain, wooden, small, big, old, limited, the list goes on.

Jerry was fond of your very opposite side of their friend group. It was nice to see something new once in awhile besides from comics, star wars, dnd, d&d, etc. When he laid eyes on your doll collection, he thought that it was cool that you collected all of these dolls. You didn’t have a preference, you just collected what you thought would look good on your shelf.

Pete was pretty much on the opposite side of Jerry’s opinion. He found it kinda…meh. He’s not the one to incredibly judge other people cause there’s always some dirt to his name as well. But his viewpoint did change when he finally got a look of your collection, mainly the haunted dolls. He likes the vibe they gave off, how they looked, and he also liked how vintage some of them looked. So, win win!

Josh laughed at it at first, he thought it was pretty dumb. But he couldn’t turn his eyes away from your jumbo collection and sense of style. It was just so alluring to him and it was different from his usual views. It’s a little twisted feeling but Josh is Josh. Some days he’s. bearable while some days he just isn’t and that’s okay, at least he’s not like y’know who…

The way I sighed.

Bill…woah—okay. He was so pissy about it. He hardly even let you join them because of how different your interests were. If it wasn’t for his idiotic friends jumping him and giving him some shit for it then he wouldn’t let you anywhere close to him and his boys. Like deadass. He had a sort of envy running through his veins when he saw you collection because it was bigger than his own—to top it off it was some girly ass dolls. He can’t stand your sense of style either. Made him throw up.

If you are a person who doesn’t give a shit about what people think, then it wouldn’t affect you. You could honestly just shrug it off and say something smart back because these boys are so caught up in their own little fantasy world where the only thing exists are their interests and whenever they see something that’s opposite of that, they sort of judge. You can tell them (especially Bill) to kiss your porcelain ass because it’s time to grow a brain. If they can’t stand your style, then suck it up. If they decide to put up with it, then good.

However, if you’re one of those people whose words get down deep into your heart, then I suggest leaving them alone. Don’t allow yourself to be swallowed up by people who aren’t supportive of your interests and just think so badly of it.

Either way, the boys have their ups and downs with this—but don’t let that stop you from anything. If they give you shit, give them shit right on back cause not everything has to be their way💋

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Pinky Promise 3

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Word count: 2K

Pairings: Jake Seresin X Reader

A/N: Round 3 of Pink Promise! I have a few more I want to put out, but if you have something you want to see in them let me know! It's been a lot of fun writing these. Thanks for reading!!

The two of you were sitting around Jake’s house eating takeout Chinese food. Some old movie was playing on the TV. For some reason Jake preferred the classics but you found them to be incredibly boring. It was often you found yourself in this same position, sprawled out on his couch, sitting in a comfortable silence as you watched another movie you couldn’t retell the plot of.

Which is why in that moment you chose to say, “I got into medical school.”

It was nearly comical watching him choke on the spoonful of rice. He sat up and looked over to you, still coughing up those last pieces. “I’m sorry. What did you just say?” The look he gave you was disbelief mixed with something else. Something you hadn’t seen before.

“I don’t think I stuttered.” You took a bite of an egg roll and waited for his mind to catch up.

“Medical school? For doctors?” You couldn’t help but smirk at his choice of questions. “Yes, like for doctors. I thought pilots were supposed to be smart?”

He shook his head and laughed, “When the hell did you have time for that?”

You finished off the egg roll and shrugged your shoulders, “What do you think I do all day while you’re at work?”

This path you took was one you had been on for a while Everyone saw you as the girl who parties, the one who doesn’t care about the outcome of her decisions. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth. And instead of showing people how wrong they were about you, you let them form their very low opinions. Pleasing people was never one of your strong points and a few judgmental comments weren’t going to tear you down.

Jake was clearly still processing things but paused the movie to give you his full attention. What he said next though, nearly made you cry right then and there.

“I am so proud of you, sweetheart. Holy crap you are going to be a doctor.” He got up and pulled you into a tight hug. It was then the look on his face made more sense. It was a look of pride, and one you hadn’t gotten before.

“Tell me all about it. Where are you going? When do you start?” His enthusiasm for this made you feel something that part of you was afraid to feel. This man was slowly becoming your best friend, which is why you pushed down all other feelings. No need to ruin a good thing.

“Well, I decided I wanted to stay close to home and was lucky enough to get into the University of California San Diego. My GPA was a little short of what they wanted, but I killed the interview. Something about your dad dying while fighting for his country tends to pull on heartstrings.”

Jake shook his head, “You did not pull that card.”

You waved a hand at him, “Please. I would be dumb not to. I also threw in about staying close to the base in case anything happened to Bradley. And that I might follow in the family footsteps one day.”

Jake’s head tilted at the last part. “You are not enlisting. I draw the line at that.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Down tiger. All I meant was that I would want to work at a hospital close to base. The one all of you get sent to when something goes wrong.”

Relief was evident as he exhaled. “I don’t think the military could handle you anyway.”

It was true. You were never one to follow orders well. Plus having a third Bradshaw in the Navy would be too much for anyone.

You picked the remote back up and resumed the movie. While Jake thought this was a big deal, you were ready to get back to the movie night. You still had a few months until school started anyway.

The movie had been playing for a few minutes, but you could feel eyes on you every now and then. “Is something the matter?”

You glanced over to the man next to you and watched him shake his head. “Nothing. You just keep surprising me, that’s all.”

“Well, either turn your attention back to this movie or I’m putting something better on. Maybe something made in this decade.” A chuckle graced your ears and a quick, “Yes ma’am.”

It wasn’t until the credits were running that he said, “You better not forget about me when you become a big shot doctor.”

“I don’t think I could forget about you even if I tried.” And it was the truth. That one drunken call has led you to one of the best things in life.

“Pinky promise you won’t.” He had his signature smirk on full display as he held out his pinky for you to shake on. You happily gave him yours, thrilled that the Top Gun pilot has accepted this form of promises.

When he pulled away, he asked, “What made you want to become a doctor?” It was a simple question with a very loaded answer.

“When my mom was sick, it was just me and her most of the time. Bradley was off at the academy, something she wouldn’t tell him but absolutely hated. And I found myself wanting to give her some sort of joy to offset my brother’s choices. I made her a promise that I was going to graduate and get a degree in something. Something that would make a difference. It took a while to figure out what that was, but the look of pride on her face when I said medical school, I only wish I had a photo of that single moment.

“When there were days I questioned if I could do it or if I even still wanted to, I think back to that conversation and all doubts went out the window. There are very few things in life I want more than graduating from med school which is why I worked so hard to even get it.” Jake wiped a tear that I didn’t know had fallen.

“She would’ve been happy that you accomplished a goal while still holding onto yourself. That you had fun while doing it. Not too many people can find that balance which tells me you are going to do amazing. But if you ever need some sort of motivation or a simple distraction from school, you can call me anytime sweetheart.”

And just like that, you knew Jake Seresin was going to be in your life for as long as you could keep him.

After the incident a little while back, your brother made an effort to be more present in your everyday life. Which meant he was currently over at your apartment criticizing how you were making dinner.

“At any point you can either cook yourself or shut up.” Bradley held up his hands in surrender.

“All I’m saying is that you are going to burn the bottom of it if you don’t stir it more often.” You turned around from the food and pointed the utensil in your hand at him. Which just so happened to be a knife.

“Listen here bird boy. My house, my rules which means you can sit your judgmental ass down before I do something you can’t bounce back from. Last I checked you needed all ten fingers to fly.”

Again, he held up his hands and thankfully kept his mouth shut while you finished up. It wasn’t too much longer before you were dishing out food for the two of you and sitting down to eat it like a normal family. The two of you sat in silence while you ate, neither of you knowing what to say.

It was like this most nights. After your mom died Bradley threw himself into his work, leaving you to fend for yourself. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the two of you grew apart as the years went on, leaving you to call your brother only when you needed help. This is what formed his new picture of you. He only saw you when you were at your worst.

But he was trying and the least you could do was meet him halfway.

“You know how you see me as careless and not at all organized with life?” You watched as your brother sighed and shook his head.

“We have gone over this. That is not how I see you. We just have different goals in life and that’s fine.” You waved him off.

“Right. Well, I am pleased to tell you that I’m not as big as a fuck up as you might think. I start med school in a few months.” Bradley dropped his spoon, sending food splattering on the counter.

You watched his facial expressions, looking or hoping for the one you got the other day from Jake. It wasn’t that you needed the validation from your brother, but it would be nice to see it for once.

“Med school? The school where you go to become a doctor?” You snorted at the similar question Jake had asked.

“What is with pilots and their lack of common sense. Yes, Bradley. The school for doctors.” You grabbed a napkin to wipe up the drops of food while he tried to form words.

“How?” You froze at that single word. It shouldn’t surprise you, the lack of faith this man had in you. But it still stung.

“The same way anyone gets in. Ace a test, get decent grades, and interview well. Not too hard when you think about it.” Which wasn’t exactly true. You had a lot of all-nighters, tears shed at the near impossible dream, and many bumps along the way. But you had to do it.

“Mom and dad would be proud of you.” Your eyes met his and you saw something different in them. It wasn’t the pride you were looking for but sadder. Like the weight of those words cut through him.

“I know. I was always trying to follow in your footsteps, even if I did take a longer path. But you know dad would’ve been ecstatic to see you wear the patch he tried so hard for. And mom, well mom would’ve eventually gotten over her fears of you being a pilot and saw how you were born for this. You know that, right?”

He cleared his throat and focused back on his food. “Anyone else know? It’s a pretty big deal.”

You picked up on the change of topic and said, “Your arch nemesis knows. Besides that, the friend list is pretty scarce these days.”

He slowly nodded his head, “You seem to spend a lot of time with him.”

“He’s a good friend. No need to look too far into it. I know the two of you have your issues, but he’s never given me a reason to question his intentions.”

Bradley hummed in response, but he didn’t fully believe you when it comes to only being friends. He’s seen the way Jake is at work, but with you he was completely different. You might not see it or are trying to ignore it, but he knew better.

“Are you and him still at each other’s throats?” Bradley rolled his eyes, “It’s not my fault he thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’s insufferable.”

You grabbed the finished plates and took them to the sink. “You know what would get under his skin? If you laughed at everything he said. I think that would rile him up good.”

Bradley squinted his eyes at you, “I thought the two of you were friends? Why would you tell me that?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “He is always listening to me complain about you. This way he can do it for once so it’s more even.”

Bradley threw his napkin at you and shook his head, “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

You threw him one of Jake’s signature smirks, “But I’m your jerk.”

Tag List: @rosiahills22 @sunlitsunflowers @dempy @mamaskillerqueen @luckyladycreator2 @atarmychick007 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @topguncultleader @alilstressyandlotdepressy @avengers-fixation @chaoticcassidy @alldaysdreamers

[coichii]

22:43 - HYUNJIN

pairing - nerd!bf!hyunjin ♥︎ fem!reader

genre: angst, comfort & college AU

word count: 0.7k

warnings: negative self talk & swearing like once

A/N : this is very self indulgent bc 2 weeks in and math is already eating my ass ! also I’m sorry if this sounds rushed 🙏🏾 like I said math is beating me rn

“Ok, then after that you carry the x and combine the common factors.” He says, but to be honest, it all sounds like gibberish to you.

Math is the hardest subject to master in your eyes. All those formulas and variables go in one ear and out the other.

Hyunjin, being the incredibly smart and sweet boyfriend he is, kindly offered to help you. Of course you gladly accepted his help, but it would be a lie say you weren’t 5 seconds away from crying.

You groan, throwing your head down on your hands. You couldn’t understand a thing. The feeling of inferiority and stupidity were wracking your brain.

“Im so stupid, why can’t I understand this.” and more self deprecating thoughts were going through your mind. You hadn’t even realized that you had started crying, or that hyunjin was trying to get your attention.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?!” You hear his voice cut through your thoughts. He looks at you, obviously panicked from your sudden outburst. “I- I don’t know, i’m just s-so-“ You can't finish before a fresh set of tears and choked sobs are coming from your body.

Immediately he’s moving to hold you in his arms, stroking your lower back as you continue to cry. Quiet praises and hushes come out of his mouth, small kisses being placed to either side of your face.

It takes you a while to get yourself together again, choked sobs turning into small hiccups. You look up at hyunjin, a small, warm smile plastered on his lips.

“Can you tell me what happened, my love?” His voice sounds gentle, slighting healing the current tears in your heart. “I don’t k-know i think I got a little frustrated” You lie. You didn’t want to tell everything about how you were feeling to him.

It’s not that you didn’t trust him, you just didn’t want to be so vulnerable. However, he obviously caught this.

“You’re more than a little frustrated. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you baby, that’s all I want to do for you.” The way he says it and looks, has all your walls opening immediately.

“I’ve just been so stressed. I can’t keep up hyune i can’t. I can’t stop myself from comparing me to my classmates. They’re so much better than i am. They don’t cry under the littlest bit of pressure, and they certainly aren’t crying over fucking calculous. I just.. don’t know what to do anymore.” You trail off at the end, heat rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment, even more so from his lack of response. You’re about to apologize for ranting before his voice cuts yours off.

“Oh Y/n, i wish you could see your self through my eyes.” He starts, eyes warm. “You really don’t know how absolutely intelligent you are. You got into this amazing school, your writing is so beautiful it brings me to tears, the way you explain your work is so incredible, and so much more. You are the smartest person I know baby, don’t compare yourself to anyone else you hear me. Not understanding something doesn’t and will never ever make you dumb.”

All you can do is hug and kiss him. The thoughts of inferiority don’t disappear, but they are definitely drowned out by the love of your life’s words.

You pull away, flashing him a bright smile, which he gladly reciprocates. “Now, why don’t you say we take a break and watch some spirited away, hmm?”

“But love, we still have all this left to finish.” You frown. You don’t want to pull him away from his own work just for you. “It’s okay, I honestly think I could use the break too.”

You sigh as you agree, his puppy eyes he starting staring at you becoming to much to handle.

As you get up, packing away your belongings, you can’t help but to think just how lucky you got to have a boyfriend as smart, loving, and caring as him.

back to masterlist

[alphajocklover]

Thank you for reporting on this InstaJock app. It's been helpful to get more information. I work in healthcare and a lot of people ask me about it. So much so that I downloaded it myself to explore the app's features. I wouldn't use it on myself though. I just graduated from med school and I'm not about to waste that education. But one thing I've noticed is this "location feature" where it seems the quality of the jock it might change you into has to do with your surroundings. I have to drive through some more rural parts to get back home and the number of redneck jocks here is freaky. Wondering if you've got more insight into all that.

I’m really glad that my work has been helpful, and I’m also very impressed that you know so much about the app. I’ve never met another person who was able to get the app without falling into its enchantment. You must have protections like I do, or an incredibly strong will. I’m surprised people are interested in the app for healthcare reasons, but I suppose it makes sense. InstaJock turns anyone who uses it into a jock instantly, and jocks are muscular and healthy as shit. If I had to choose between being deathly ill and a dumb jock, I might do the same thing. But we’ll explore the interesting connection between InstaJock and healthcare some other time. Today let’s look at the location feature.

You’ve basically got it all figured out. InstaJock has a feature that tracks your location and turns you into a certain type of jock based on where you are. Or, more accurately, where you spend a lot of time, since it accesses your location history too. Just like all the features it can be turned on and off when setting up an account, or in settings afterwards, but unlike other features it is usually turned on to begin with. It makes sense when you think about it. The app may turn the user into a jock, but they’re still a version of themselves. So their new self should reflect their surroundings. Since you’re in a rural area, it seems most of the InstaJock users there would become redneck jocks.

It is strange that you’re seeing so many though. InstaJock is meant to spread, but… not that quickly. A guy gets turned by the app, maybe invites a couple of his old nerdy friends, and then enjoys being a buff, dumb, sexy jock. The jocks aren’t organized or intelligent enough to turn people on mass. So… someone must be directing them, telling them what to do. They’d have to be smart, but someone the jocks would listen to. There are only a handful of people who could do that. It’s probably the same person whose been using the app to torment nerds, who tricked that nerdy frat president into turning himself, who told that bullied kid InstaJock could help him steal muscles.

I have some theories on who it is. But I shouldn’t say anything until I have more proof. Be careful though. If it’s who I think it is, then our protections… may not keep either of us safe for long.

[perseus-jackass]

You probably get this a lot but why do you hate Tim Drake? Like a detailed explanation. Not judging or anything just curious

Okay so. TLDR: both canon and fanon push him so much it gets insufferable and my some of my faves specifically are massive victims to it.

Probably going to be long.

First, Jason. My favorite character of all time from any media I’ve ever consumed.

Canon: there are multiple instances in Tim’s original Robin stuff from him AND others being like “Jason was reckless and got himself killed” and basically victim blaming a dead kid HE DIDN’T KNOW to make him look better. Like Tim literally hallucinates Jason telling him AND I QUOTE, “I killed myself, Tim because I couldn’t wait. Because I didn’t think it though” and this is just what I personally consider the worst. There was also a lot of “Jason was x negative trait that I’m not, because I’m better” Even once Jason came back there’s still a vibe of “Tim is better then Jason.”

Fanon: The insistence on making Jason either a brute who hates poor little Timmy for no reason, or making him Tim’s caretaker despite the fact they’re like two years apart.

All of it feels EXTREMELY classist to me tbh.

Next, Steph.

Canon: He SUCKED with how he treated her omg. The constant belittling and acting like she was incapable of helping and being a vigilante. Like even into her batgirl days when she was literally given Babs’ stamp of approval and was working directly with Dick and Damian??? Also he was a terrible boyfriend.

Fanon: she gets flattened into his dumb blonde bff as if she’s not EXTREMELY smart. Like does everyone forget the whole way she got involved with this was because her dad was kind of Riddler 2.0??

So. Misogyny.

Also Cass

Canon: now this is where the racism starts. Also ableism. He treats her as if her learning disability makes her lesser. Repeatedly acts as if she’s a child or animal. So double whammy of infantilization of Asian women AND disabled people.

Fanon: I have talked about my hatred of Asian Tim before. Because it’s both always pale East Asian, so people can basically draw him as white as well as falling into Asian stereotypes and there’s the addition of once again, making a woman a prop when you bring in the Tim and Cass are twins stuff.

Racism and Ableism! Yay!

The al Ghuls…..

Canon: oh God where to start. Chronologically I guess? Damian first. I have actually made a post about this before there are multiple instances of him being extremely racist to Damian. There’s the “on earth we call this a handshake” panel. where yeah he says this to a 10-year-old from a foreign country. And then there’s a part where he apparently has some contingency plan for Damian and Damian finds it. And Tim’s excuse is “his biology.” I don’t care if they meant that Ra’s was evil. Again saying that about a non-white child from a foreign country is insane!! Also every time Damian attacks him Tim gives as good as he gets

Onto Ra’s. My main gripe is the “sending his sister to assault Tim and get pregnant” RA’S WOULD NOT FUCKING DO THAT. Yes he’s a villain. Not that kind though???

Fanon: Damian is the “evil” “feral” POC who attacks the perfect white protagonist Timmy.

Ra’s is the evil Arab man preying (quite often sexually!) on the innocent frail white boy.

Like you see how that’s incredibly racist right??

There’s also some miscellaneous things like his general treatment of women, how Rose is written in Teen Titans 2003 (the comic, not the show) to harass Tim (racism and misogyny), as well as how fanon likes to ignore Babs and put Tim in her spot, the insistence he’s just so much smarter and better then everyone else, and the woobifying him and constantly making him the victim (ex: titans tower and the idea Dick tried to send him to Arkham) but I think this post is long enough already

[mochinomnoms]

Kalim holds everything to keep a smile and I swear to god he is not okay.

-Multiple assassination attempts to the point he is probably desensitized. I’m surprised he is not really paranoid about it.

-A betrayal from whom he consider one of the only people in the world he felt safe. The reason he dislikes curry is because Jamil almost died.

-Being handed everything, which probably makes him feel like he really has no real talents beyond being the host and face of celebrations, that and just a wallet to people.

-Oldest brother, but who knows, he might just be the one that was the luckiest to survive till 17. He might’ve even seen some of his younger or older siblings die.

-STILL HAVING A HEART OF GOLD that everyone and their mom knows can be manipulated. And he probably knows deep down that many see him as that, just easy to manipulate.

How is this guy still HOLDING?? He is kinda like Jasmine in the sense that even with all the money in the world, he is caged and alone.

These are all very good points, but also remember:

He's inconsiderate to other's feelings/wants. He will often to things for/with other people against their wishes because he wants to do it because he thinks it will be fun or nice.

Kalim is very in the moment, he needs satisfaction then there and now. If he wants to do something, then it's being done whether you want to or not.

He's not actually a very good housewarden, and while him being instated as housewarden wasn't his own doing, he provides little to no support or leadership to his dorm members. During Book 4 we learn that Scarabia was last in both exam rankings and the Spelldrive tournament, despite the dorm being known for it's incredibly smart and cunning students. He instead distracts his dorm with nonstop parties and let's them do whatever despite that often being against their best interests.

He's so attached to Jamil that it's at both of their detriments. Jamil is so talented but is restricted by Kalim, while it's not really his fault as much as it is their parents. Kalim is also restricting himself by remaining so reliant on Jamil to the point that he probably is unable to do basic household chores.

Idk, I love him so so sooooo much he is me and I love him but I think sometimes it's very easy to assign him as the "uwu innocent soft baby boy that is just a lil dumb" that it can be easy to forget that he is also sometimes not a great person. He's not bad or mean, especially compared to the rest of the cast, but he's not a great one either. It's why I love him because he has so much potential to grow! I really think that the main core of his issues is due to his reliance on Jamil, and now that he is aware of Jamil's feelings as of Book 4, he now has the ability to acknowledge both if their faults and take on the path to become a better person.

[crazylittlejester]

What is your favorite thing about each of the Links?

this is a mix of LU and in game stuff, and I’m trying to keep headcanons out of it but:

Time: HIS DRAMATIC ASS FUCKING SCREAMS IN GAME, ITS SO FUNNY, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Wars: As anyone who’s spent even a fraction of a second scrolling through my blog would know, Wars is my favorite and I love everything about his dumb ass. The scarf, his absolutely atrocious choice of fucking footwear, the fuckass haircut, etc. But i gotta mention his absolute look of disgust when Cia was like, dying in Lana’s arms or whatever and she asked Lana something like “How can you stand being so close to Link knowing he’ll never love you back?” He just looked SO fucking over it. His facial expressions in that game are generally just great because he’s either high key fucking judging everyone, staring autistically into space, or looking shocked as hell. Also in LU I love that he told everyone to be normal 😭

Twilight: The fact that he has a framed picture of a goat in his house but no bed. I love him.

Sky: He’s such a sneaky little mischievous fucking shit. He broke a chandelier, delivered a letter to a toilet demon, he fucks around and gets up to horrible little shenanigans but then he looks at you with that sweet face and big ol’ eyes and gets away with it. He’s my favorite Link in general /srs

Hyrule: CHARACTER DESIGN. HES SO FUCKASS /pos HES SO LITTLE GUY. He looks like he’s constantly witnessing the horrors of the world but also doing crimes. He must be protected at all costs but also he’s incredibly durable, smart, and more than capable of protecting himself AND others. What a guy

Legend: His whole LU design. The skirt with the fuckin cowboy boots puts him in my top five based on that alone

Wild: His blank ass :D face in BOTW/TOTK. Ain’t nothin’ behind those eyes. Kissing him on the forehead, what a guy. If his silly autistic stare hadn’t captivated me last May I would not be in this fandom. I would not be writing fics. He’s just so creature and I’m holdin’ him in my hands so gently

Four: The fact that he’s shorter than the group dog /j but seriously i just love how he’s clearly the only one mature enough to recognize everyone, INCLUDING HIMSELF, needs fucking therapy

Wind: Everything. Look at him. I adore his facial expressions in game and in LU, and I love his energy

[stealingyourbones]

Bruce isn't the best parent, but a chunk of the issue is that he's an only child. Should he stop Jason and Dick from throwing Damian back and forth like a human ball? Is Tim threatening to bite Cass an issue? Are those death threats serious or not? The poor man is an only child trying to run herd on at least a half dozen feral siblings. He exists in a state of constant confusion.

I.

This isn’t to be mean, but that is simply not the case.

I keep getting bad parent bruce takes and it sucks because all of them aren’t even proper reasoning for his character.

I’m just using you as an example, but hear me out.

Bruce is an extremely smart person, Homie has watched movies and read books, he can learn from situations around him that things are sibling things. Sure, he was excluded as a kid, but that isn’t nearly the main issue why he isn’t the best parent.

homie has so much shit wrong with him, he’s emotionally just not there, he keeps himself stuck in a perpetual state of grief and mourning for his parents of a thing that happened when he was a child, he has been trained by assassins and has experienced loss and pain to an insane extent, he has such an insane extent of paranoia and trust issues that it affects his daily life, is definitely autistic, and has issues with social cues.

I’m trying to properly articulate just why that’s not the case but my brain isn’t working with me so I’m handing this over to my twin @bonebrokebuddy who is far more articulate than me.

———

Hi, it's Billy, Bones's twin writing because Bones had a hard time putting this into words and I'm more of a canon nitpick than her.

Uh- have you ever. And I mean even once, met an only child.

I promise, if you read even a singular comic, you could tell this take is incredibly out of character.

Bruce isn’t a good parent. He’s also not a bad parent. He loves his kids. He literally could not stop them from pulling dumb shit if they tried and putting themselves into danger.

Bruce is the worlds greatest detective. He knows how to spot and detect emotions and trouble in his kids. He’s The Worlds Greatest Detective.

His issue with being a parent likely comes from having Alfred as a father figure. Imagine having a dad that you can fire at any time, you pay so they can stay with you, and can just leave at any moment if they don’t approve of the person they work for. That will severely fuck up a kid.

His issue isn’t that he’s an only child, it’s that it’s every Robin’s god given right to go against and defy Batman’s orders whenever possible because kids are viscous little buggers who don’t like being told “you can’t do that” even if it’s for their own health, they’ll do it anyway.

After you’ve taught your kids how to exist in deadly situations, they think they’re invincible when it’s because Bruce is doing all he fucking can to make sure his kids don’t get hurt. If they feel like they can make the world a better place, they’ll do it, regardless of the risk because they’re inherently self sacrificing and good people.

Bruce’s issue with parenting is due to his relationship with his kids. Again, it isn’t that he’s an only child, it’s that the kids he adopted are their own people and they are even more stubborn and bad at communication as him.

Even more so, it’s due to the dang narrative.

Conflict between Bruce and his kids that cause them to separate has been the backstory for plenty of solo batkid runs to endure Batman isn’t as involved or the main focus of the run.

Narrative tension is literally the cause of all the bad parent decisions for Bruce, because conflict drives narrative or miscommunications cause the story to lengthen and complicate itself

it’s not as easy as “Bruce is bad dad” because he’s Not. Bruce is good with kids! He has a pouch in his utility belt specifically with suckers for kids!

But Bruce isn't a great world star dad either. He definitely inherited his ability to communicate with people outside crisis situations largely from trainers around the world and his arms-length-distance-at-all-times distance relationship with the butler who raised him.

Despite him being good with kids, his kids have lives of their own with morals and opinions of their own that conflict and clash constantly. It’s not a simple case of “Bruce is a bad dad.”

It’s a case of “everyone has slightly different opinions and approaches to situations so occasionally conflict happens when they clash or interfere with each other” because it’s a comic that tells a story!

Anyways, my recommendation? Pick up a comic. And preferably? Read it. Or watch BTAS if it’s more accessible to you. either works. This opinion isn't your fault most likely, just the quality of the DC fan-content you've been consuming that are incredibly removed from the comics. If you want, DM me at @bonebrokebuddy and I can send you some good quality DC fics with in-character Bruce.

————

Bones here again,

That basically sums up the exact stuff I couldn’t properly describe. I was using you more as an example because I have dozens of bad parent bruce takes in my inbox and I am 90% sure that the cause of them is that they simply haven’t read anything about the character.

Read a comic, read some strictly DC fanfiction, watch some of the many many TV shows and animated movies, there are even motion comics free online to watch that have voice acting and everything!

Being an only child doesn’t make you a bad father.

[spock-smokes-weed]

Sorry I’m not done chirping. I have bad insomnia right now.

I’m honestly so sick of the pearl clutching from liberals right now about people not voting. It comes across as so fucking tone deaf.

Listen, I am pro voting and of the mind it’s much smarter in the long run to vote instead of sitting out. Low voter turn out is how the Republicans can stay in power.

However, I feel like turning up your nose at those who don’t vote doesn’t do anything to actually understand WHY people don’t vote. And it’s usually because the Dems never fucking bring anything to the table and try to coast on being the lesser of two evils. That is honestly such an insulting way to run a campaign.

Especially when it comes to minority voters. A lot of them have spoken to how they feel like their material conditions never improve under either party. Yes they get worse under republicans, but “not making things worse” should never be the standard we set. But that’s the message Dems have been running on since Ronald Regan.

And in regards to the moment we’re in now, I think it’s heartless to be looking down on Muslim and Palestinian Americans for not wanting to vote for Kamala Harris. Sure, Palestine might not be a deal breaker for YOU, but spare a fucking thought to the people who’ve lost whole branches of their family in this genocide. This comes back to what I said before: things would be worse in Gaza under Trump, but you’re delusional to think the Biden administration has handled this well. On the issue of Israel/Palestine, Biden and Trump are the same.

As Genocide Joe’s VP, Kamala Harris absolutely has to answer to the abysmal way the administration has handled this genocide. It’s cowardly for her to stay silent and hope she can toe the line up until Election Day. And the time to call her out isn’t when she gets in the White House, it’s right now while she’s still courting the American people.

There are plenty of people who want to vote for the Harris/Walz ticket and their progressive policies, but the silence on Palestine is an absolute deal breaker. My GOAT Hasan Piker said he would literally door knock for Kamala if she changes her position on Americans unwavering support to Israel. Continuing to stick by Israel is LOSER behavior. It’s another example of Dems scurrying to the right on unpopular issues because they’re spineless cowards who are afraid of making brave political decision. The Dems have nothing to gain from their current position. Literally nothing. 

For the people are going to vote no matter what (like myself) now isn’t the moment to spit and hiss at people for not wanting to vote, now is the moment to stand with the people who feel left behind by democratic policy and DEMAND the democrats do better. And we do that by disrupting the good press Harris is getting right now. Go out and protest and call your representatives!!! Make it clear “I’d love to vote for Harris but I can’t in good conscience until her position on Israel changes” THAT’S IT!!!! Even if that’s a lie!!! It’s okay to lie to politicians!!!! Tell them you won’t vote even if you are!!!! Enough noise will make it impossible for them to ignore it!!! 

The biggest problem with the Democratic Party is that they’ve tried time and time again to chase the success the republicans had, instead of engaging with their own base. We are seeing right now the progressive policies are popular and it’s smart politics to build a base on that. And it’s actually incredibly dumb to adopt right wing positions on issues like immigration and Palestine. Drawing the line in the sand now while the Dems are on a winning streak could do a lot to drag American politics away from the nightmare we’ve been living under since Regan. 

[sea-buns]

not really, but I suppose that’s just a difference of opinion. I do think that gorgug’s nightmare sequence was one of the weakest, especially with how it shifted topics (being dead, small spaces, not being able to escape a stereotype, because if any of these had been expanded on that would’ve been great), but I do think a lot of gorgug’s character revolves around feeling in-between, or too much one thing and not another and trying to close that gap. The best one for me was deffo the sphinx tho, I interpreted it as not *just* about him being dumb, but rather like. You’re big and dumb and strong and your main job is getting angry and hitting shit with an axe. You went to a community of gnomes and they gave you a better axe, and you loved it. You are uniquely dumb, unlike those who have come before you, because you cannot solve a specific kind of puzzle while a sphinx talks at you. You are the reason your parents cut contact, and from the beginning you were unsuited for their home. Your extended family predicted that you would grow to know only rage, and here you are, a barbarian. You, from this perspective, are not proving them wrong.

I do think that that whole sequence does reveal that he’s afraid of like. Being that stereotype? And then going yeah sure I’m stupid eat me, then moving forward and clawing your way into understanding anyways

Ahhh I see. Yeah I think I did misunderstand your first ask a bit lol

I did really love a lot of the topics his sequence brought up. Like I've read some incredibly well-written fanfics that covered the ways that claustrophobia, and imposter syndrome, and being dead have affected him. But like you said, if they had just honed in on at least one, rather than hopping back and forth, it could have done so much for that section. Cuz, personally, I don't feel like we saw Gorgug be significantly affected by any of those. At least not in a way that felt complete and satisfying.

I really like what you said about his character being "in-between". I totally agree. Kinda circles back to how his parents trying to help him calm his rage was actually stifling him.

Your family needs you to calm down; you've broken another bedchairdoorappliance. Your teacher wants you to rage; he says anger is good but you don't understand. You sing to try and calm yourself, you're always trying to be kind to others; they only use it to hurt you more and all you can do is get angry back. Your friends need you to rage. You don't have the power to protect them socially, but this you can do. You try not to rage outside of a fight, but.... they don't seem to be that bothered when you do. In fact, you watch them provoke physical confrontation when they're mad on many occasions.

(Oops dipped a biiiit into the pot of how important friendship is to his character. Did not mean to lol it's just one of my fav things about him so it's kinda subconscious I guess)

But yeah! He's also in such a limbo this season as well! You can't do this you're too angry, you're not smart enough for that, you don't rage right.

Also realllyy like your interpretation of his trial. The angle you described it at was really interesting.

I don't think stereotype is the right word, though. I would say... he's afraid of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy? I'm assuming based on your own "stereotype?" that you weren't sure about the word either.

I don't think Gorgug is, or would ever be, afraid of being a "stereotype". Like I don't think he gives a shit about the stereotype that orcs/half-orcs/barbarians only know anger and destruction. I think he's afraid of being a self-fulfilling prophecy of all the things people say that he is. Stupid, mindless, destructive, etc. To pull from what you said here (which it wont let me copy paste on mobile god fucking damnit)

"Your extended family predicted that you would grow to know only rage, and here you are, a barbarian. You, from this perspective, are not proving them wrong."

"Stereotype" for sure applies to his racist extended family. They fucking breathe stereotypes like oxygen. But the bit where his afraid of becoming what everyone says he is, I think "self-fulfilling prophecy" suits that much better. He believes he can be more than that, he knows he can, but it doesn't change the fact that they are technically right.

Okay and the giving in but then "clawing your way into understanding anyways" actually goes so hard lol. Anon, you are so right. From that pov, it's not so much a give up as it is an acknowledgment before he essentially puts the subject on ice.

Rings back a bit to the start of fhjy to me. That dread of seeing the email of school starting back up again, and the terrible sinking pit in your stomach of avoidance, because the time has come to really unpack all that. There was something specific Zac said in his little Gorgug recap before the season started that was about, like, the dread of having to figure out who the fuck you're gonna be when everyone around you seems to have their shit together. That. That hit hard lmao but the experience that he's covered is very true to Gorgug, I think.

I totally misunderstood your first ask! Though I'm happy you sent another cuz I understand a lot better, I think. And tbh I've never had the opportunity to discuss that section of fantasy high with anyone? I wasn't on tumblr or watching d20 when it first aired so I missed these specific topics. Always been v interested in what others thought of his part. Maybe I should put the vods on in the bg next time I'm play sdv. Give em a relisten. And man. The fact that I'm out here quoting your message brings me back to english class so hard. Shocked I don't hate it. Actually having a topic you give half a shit about does wonders huh lmao

Thanks for the ask! You have altered my perspective and I appreciate it. It's like how sometimes you gotta read something out loud to understand it. If all I have is the walls of my own skull, I can only get so far.

[glitxhwayventeen]

The Smart One: Part One

Yeonjun

Characters: Yeonjun x female reader

Warnings: mentions of- violence, death, drinking, smoking, sleeping around (but it’s all consensual so i don’t see a problem with it. But i know some people do so TW ig), name calling (but they don’t actually mean it and none of them think they do, they’re loving nicknames), crying, pining/angsty love, Yeonjun being dumb basically poor baby

Author’s Note: Ahhh so I’m back. I hope no one’s too made i started a new addition to the werewolf/college universe but i really think these stories are gonna be nice and get me excited to start writing again so here’s to hoping! Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tag list for any of the characters!

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

There Will Be Blood Masterlist

The Smart One: Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

🥀

Bold- Dialogue Italics- Thoughts

Tag list-

Yeonjun never understood his brothers. He never understood half of the weird shit they did. He never understood their constant need to be around one another. And he certainly never understood why they were so eager to find their mates.

So naturally, when he was sat on the living room couch scrolling through his phone out of boredom and suddenly heard the pup of their pack arguing with their alpha over what their future mates must be like at the kitchen table, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Hyung, there’s no way you’ll get a mate that’s like you,” Kai reasoned with a dry chuckle, “That relationship could never last! Two control freaks don’t make for a happy couple!”

“Surprised you could do that much math,” Soobin scoffed semi-bitterly at his younger brother, “In fact, you better hope yours has half a brain because you’re too dumb to not have someone looking out for you for the rest of your life!”

Everyone in the pack knew that the youngest in the pack wasn’t always the smartest when it came to basic schooling and common sense. Hell, the only reason they found him and added him to the pack in the first place was because he had somehow managed to piss off a group of fifth graders who began chasing him, a high school senior, down the eldest’s home street.

So Yeonjun knew the alpha wasn’t entirely wrong for insinuating Kai probably needed a mate with a solid head on their shoulders. But that didn’t mean that he thought the boy was stupid.

He actually thought he was quite bright when he wanted to be. In fact, the eldest often even went to the pup for some sound advice when needed because he knew he had an incredibly high emotional intellegence for someone so young.

Huening just wasn’t all that book smart. But so what? Yeonjun himself couldn’t necessarily say he was either. He loathed school and his grades were a perfect reflection of his feelings. He couldn’t even count how many classes he flunked on one hand anymore. But that didn’t mean he was stupid or dumb. He just… didn’t do well in school. Obviously that meant he wouldn’t waste his time or energy trying.

Kai on the other hand very much cared about doing a good job at school. He was a people pleaser and an overachiever, two personality traits Yeonjun didn’t envy him for having.

The youngest of their pack worked tirelessly to get his grades to something his parents would consider to be an acceptable score. He found himself people willing to tutor him, spent countless hours at the library at their shared university, and even mapped himself out a schedule that was dedicated to maximizing his study efforts. It was evident to anyone with eyes that he was working his butt off.

So part of him did think what the alpha said was a bit of a low blow. It probably even hurt the youngest’s feelings, not that he’d ever show it.

But part of Yeonjun also thought that the topic at hand they were arguing about was a stupid topic to argue about to begin with.

“I can take care of myself you know hyung,” Huening insisted.

You see, Yeonjun didn’t like the idea of mates. He didn’t like the idea of signing away everything that made them themselves to some stranger their weird werewolf instincts told them they would have to love forever. He didn’t like the idea that his brothers were all trying as hard as they were to find theirs.

And he sure as shit didn’t agree with wanting to give up the lifestyle he had gotten used to over the years just because his dumb wolfy brain would be too obsessed with some innocent unsuspecting human to think straight.

Soobin snickered, “You literally wouldn’t be able to tie your shoes if it weren’t for us but whatever Huening.”

Because who would want to be tied down like that? Who would want to have to answer to some random person for the rest of their life that something as ridiculous as fate set them up with? Who would want a life that basically took away everyone in the situation’s free will and personal choices? Not Yeonjun, that’s for sure.

“That was one time!” Kai groaned with a theatrical throw of his hands in the air, “And it was only because I couldn’t find my contacts hyung!”

At that point in his younger brothers’ conversation, Yeonjun had pretty much tuned them out. Not that he could help it, they’re the ones who got his brain stuck on a topic he otherwise wouldn’t have given five seconds of his time to. Now because of them, his brain was laser focused on what finding a mate would mean for him in particular. And the thought started making his stomach churn with unease.

Because he was someone who liked going to parties. He liked the opportunity to make friends and socialize. He liked the free drinks and party favors. He even liked the god awful music because it meant he could dance his troubles away without a care in the world.

If he had a mate, chances were they wouldn’t want him to go to parties. Or go out. Or have a good time with his friends.

He was also someone who liked to drink and smoke pretty regularly to handle the stress of his everyday life. Not that he was an alcoholic or anything, but he was definitely someone who had to go to the hospital more than a handful of times to get his stomach pumped after partying a little too hard. And he was definitely someone who always had a pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket in case he needed to chill out. But that didn’t mean he thought he was a chain smoker or anything.

Regardless of what he thought, the pack was friends with other packs in the area and let’s just say more than a few of them had mates that were heavily against their mate doing any kind of smoking or drinking.

With his luck, his mate would be the same exact way and he’d be forced to give up something he knew loved for someone his instincts would tell him he loved.

Yeonjun also liked to hook up with random people at the parties he went to. Some of them even on a regular basis because it was a situation that benefited everyone involved. They all would be satisfied with their sex lives and no one had to worry about mushy gushy relationship stuff like going on picnics or planning cheesy dates to get laid.

But he knew the second he got a girlfriend, that favorite pass time of his would be over or it would become the center of all their arguments. Which is exactly why he had never had one before.

Which was another issue: he wasn’t exactly a guy destined for monogamy. Hell, he wasn’t even able to promise his situationships that he wouldn’t go fuck someone else right after he was done with them.

And everyone, everyone, knew that about him. Even people he had never even met or people from other universities knew he was the kind of guy who girls brought back home to their beds, not back home to meet their parents.

If he had a mate, chances were they wouldn’t be okay with an open relationship. In fact, they’d likely want to be completely exclusive and to only be with each other. And, since being a mated werewolf apparently meant you’d do anything your mate wanted, he’d have no choice but to comply.

But if he had a choice, Yeonjun would want the opposite of that. Not that he would even know how to begin going about having that kind of awkward talk with someone. Actually, he couldn’t even imagine the issues that uncomfortable conversation would cause him if he had a mate.

As the eldest stayed seated adorned in his usual black and leather get up and witnessed Kai bang his fist slightly against the kitchen table causing it to still shake rather violently due to their heightened strength, he couldn’t help but think of another rather unsettling complication finding a mate would cause him if he somehow did manage to warm up to the idea of having one: bringing a fragile little human into his rather chaotic and dangerous life.

Sure he had plenty of human friends, not having them would’ve been strange and they had to stay unsuspecting to the outside world after all. And it wasn’t even that he thought less of them or had them for appearances sake. Yeonjun did genuinely like, and even at times envy, his human friends. But none of them knew half the shit that really went on in his life.

They didn’t know that he wore brown colored contacts to hide his naturally golden eyes. They didn’t know that his roommates were actually his packmates. They didn’t know he had to be locked up for almost a whole week twice a year to keep from fucking everything and everyone that crossed his path during his rut.

And they definitely didn’t know that if he ever let his emotions go unchecked and got too mad he could phase and hurt, possibly even accidentally kill, the people around him.

Yeonjun had known he had to take all that into consideration during every interaction he had with his human friends. He couldn’t let his guard down or let his emotions take control for even a second around them.

Despite that, he had never really thought about what falling in love with a human would mean for or what the consequences would be for them.

Being a mate meant being part of his pack. His pack of very kind, albeit very dumb, brothers and their future mates. It meant always having to be tethered to them because Yeonjun was, no matter how big in size it would get or how rocky a relationship the person would have with any one of them.

Being a mate meant having to keep a secret, a huge one, from all friends and family outside of said pack in order to protect everyone. It meant his mate would have to watch everything they said to be sure they never let anything slip out.

And being a mate meant being put in dangerous, possibly even deadly, situations. It meant that his mate would have to always be on the look out for werewolf hunters trying to use them for leverage.

It meant they’d have to be conscious of rivaling or vengeful packs/rogue wolves who’d have a bone to pick with theirs for one reason or another. It meant they’d have to get wrapped up with other packs and their business because Yeonjun’s never turned others away when they needed help.

It even meant that he could hurt his mate himself if he wasn’t careful while phasing or using too much strength when their weaker human body couldn’t handle it.

Being linked to him meant being linked to a revolver with one bullet in the chamber randomly firing: you just never knew when it would go off.

How could Yeonjun ever be okay with doing that to someone who never had a say in the matter to begin with because of the feelings they would catch due to his werewolf instincts?

Even if his instincts told him he didn’t have a choice, how could he ever willingly be okay with putting someone he supposedly loved in harms way each and every day? How could he ever be able to sleep at night? Or even live with himself if something ever ha-

“Jjun hyung,” Soobin’s voice suddenly broke through Yeonjun’s thoughts, “I need you to drive Hyuka to the library for his tutoring session today.”

The eldest couldn’t help but pull his brow together in annoyance, “And why the fuck would I do that?”

Yeonjun couldn’t lie and say he meant for his question to come out as rude as it did. But he truthfully didn’t see why he needed to be the one to take him. Sure the pup of the pack couldn’t drive yet, but others in the pack had recently gotten their licenses and could take him. Why did he have to do it?

Especially after he went and bummed himself out by overthinking his whole existence and future from a conversation the alpha and pup started without his control. It just didn’t seem fair.

“Because I’m in charge and because I’m asking you politely to do it,” Binnie spoke hurriedly as he shoved some books into his already overflowing bag, clearly rushing to leave the house for, what the eldest could only assume based on his polished appearance anyways, work.

Yeonjun didn’t really think that was a good enough answer. Why couldn’t Beomgyu take the younger boy? Or Taehyun? Why did it have to be him?

He drove a really nice motorcycle that, even though it could fit two people on it easily, he didn’t like other people getting close to because they could scratch or dent it. Not to mention Hueningkai was absolutely terrified of riding it as he so lovingly pointed out when he deemed it a “coffin on two wheels.” It would just make more sense for one of the others to drop him off, right?

So Yeonjun let out a dry chuckle, “Nicely? Sounds more like a command if you ask me. Huening failing out of school is not my responsibility. Besides someone else will have to do it anyways because I have school myself sorry.”

While he knew that statement was a selfish thing to say, it was also true. If he could manage to get by in school all on his own with a hope and a prayer, why couldn’t the youngest of their little family learn to do it?

Sure other people did try to “help” Yeonjun with his issues once upon a time, but they just made him feel even more stupid than he already knew his parents thought he was. So he didn’t even fully see the point of the pup going to tutoring anyways. Chances are it wouldn’t really work for him either. So it was a waste of money in his eyes.

The alpha pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly agitated and over the fight he hadn’t even had with the eldest yet, “Jesus fuck Yeonjun-ah, I don’t have time for this!” Soobin insisted with a hiss, “Tweedle dee and tweedle dumbass’s class start times today won’t let them do it and I have work. We both know you’re just gonna blow your classes off today like you do nearly everyday anyways so you can do it you just don’t want to.”

Soobin sighed jaggedly as he ran a hand through his messy hair in an attempt to steady his breathing, “But if that’s what it takes to get you off your ass and to get you to be helpful for once then yes, it’s a command then!” He practically growled because he had to do something he hated and had to force his status on his brothers as he threw his bag to sit on his shoulder, “Take his ass to his tutoring so he doesn’t fail out of school. I dont know about you but i don’t want his sisters to come and freak out on us for being bad influences on him again!”

Even though he heard muffled snickers coming from Taehyun and Beomgyu sitting nearby, all Yeonjun could do at that point was throw a harsh scowl Soobin’s way.

He couldn’t disobey an alphas order anymore than he could stop breathing. And he couldn’t necessarily say the alpha was wrong in saying he was just planning on not going to his classes today anyways. He just really hadn’t planned on being Huening’s personal taxi driver for the day. Sometimes he really hated being a werewolf.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me hyung!” Kai put his arm over the eldest’s shoulder with a squeeze, a cheshire grin happily plastered on his face.

“You know I hate you right?” Yeonjun rolled his eyes as he got up to grab the keys to his motorcycle, much to the sudden mortification and realization of the younger boy.

————

A whiff of old books and ancient dust seemed to flow through the air as the two boys stepped through the double doors to their college’s library. A library Yeonjun hated.

He hated the smell, even if the smell today wasn’t as putrid as usual for some reason. It still smelled musky and moldy like it normally did, just… less moldy and musky than he had known it to be previously.

He hated the goodie goodie people sitting at their tables studying, who no doubt thought they were better than him. Which was total bull. Because just because he wasn’t book smart like they were and could barely scrape by in his classes didn’t mean the brown nosing assholes scattered about the depressing building should have the right to judge him.

And he definitely hated having to be anywhere near the grouchy librarian who always told him he was too loud to be there. Which he found ridiculous because why should he have to be less noisy and more tame when she let everyone else do what they wanted to all the time anyways? He was 99.99% positive that the old crone just had it out for him.

“You just haaaaaad to suck at calculus didn’t you?” Yeonjun rhetorically asked his brother under his breath, his nose automatically scrunching up at the foreign aromas around him, slightly catching a whiff of someone’s delicious smelling cherry perfume that was sweet enough to almost have him forgetting why he was there in the first place. Almost.

But Huening paid no mind to the sulky boy as his eyes began to scan the rather large and echoey prison of a room for his rather small and quiet tutor.

The eldest knew that Hyuka had been doing sessions with some girl for a little over three months now and he’d say they had paid off substantially, his calculus grade went from a failing D to an average B. Which was something none of his brothers had managed to help him do.

So, as annoyed as he was at his alpha for forcing him to take him to school, Yeonjun tried not to be too annoyed with the pup. At least he was putting in effort to do something good for himself.

But that didn’t mean he had to like the place his little study sessions took place. The school library was just like one of those cheesy kdramas the pup used to make him watch, just minus the romance part and more focus on the boring part. How ugly.

“There she is!” Hueningkai practically squealed, his high pitched voice causing you to look up from the book that was in front of you at your table with a small, though obviously very startled, smile.

While Kai was just happy rambling about what they were going to work on that day and why the session would take so long as he was getting tutored by someone he considered a friend, one of the few he had actually managed to make on his own, Yeonjun was in his own little world.

From the moment his eyes turned to you as you looked up to shyly greet his younger brother from afar, everything else around him faded away.

All the students mumbling around him were tuned out when he quickly realized the sweet cherry smell looming in the air was linked to you.

All the sounds of chairs being pushed in and out from the tables scattered about went mute as your beautiful curls residually bounced from moving your head to look up.

All the passerbyers around you practically floated out of his line of sight as your dimpled smile radiated a warmth bright enough to reach even the coldest person in the room.

Before his current interaction with you, Yeonjun had only heard about you from his younger brother’s constant babbling about his new tutor friend. Soobin, Taehyun, or Beomgyu had always been the one to drop him off because the eldest never wanted to and/or was never home.

He never cared enough about something so trivial to listen to Kai’s mentions of you, which was something he was regretting very much in the present.

He didn’t remember much, but what did manage to sneak it’s way into his brain made sense. He had once told Yeonjun something about you being a foreigner. You definitely didn’t look as Korean as the people around you, yet you still managed to outshine every single person in the building by a landslide.

He thought the younger boy had once spoken about how shy you were and, based on how your cheeks lit up with noticeable hues of pink and red even through your darker complexion once you saw that Kai hadn’t come alone, he guessed his assessment of you was correct.

Huening had also said something about you being very polished and conservative in appearance. Which was something exuded in your outfit choice: a pastel yellow cardigan that brought out the glow in your ebony skin and an olive green under vest that fit your rather curvy body perfectly.

And from what Yeonjun could see just under the open library table, you had a pleated skirt composed of similar colors and white laced tights that matched your headband on top of your beautifully and expertly styled hair.

To say you were the most gorgeous person the elder boy had ever seen was an understatement.

All Yeonjun wanted to do was go over, pull you up from your chair, and kiss your perfectly glossed lips until you both ran out of breath.

Sure it would be a little difficult to maneuver, Yeonjun could tell by referencing the size of everything around you that you were quite a bit shorter than him, actually probably a lot a bit shorter than him. But with his strength and your small frame, he was sure he would still be able to lift you with ease.

In fact, you would probably be just the right size for him to be able to wrap your legs around his waist and walk around comfortably. Which would mean that walking you over to the nearest room with a lockable door wouldn’t be a probl-

But before he could finish his line of thinking, you lifted your delicate hand in the air to signal Kai to come over to you and suddenly the panic of the situation truly set in, causing Yeonjun to react on instinct.

Heart nearly pounding out of his chest from the shock of having seen you, he quickly threw himself to the side of the nearest bookcase to hide himself from your view. Much to the confusion of his younger brother who dutifully followed suite in order to see what was going on.

“Yeonjun-ah,” Kai hesitantly spoke to get the elder boy’s attention, “Is everything okay?”

No, nothing was okay. Five seconds ago his life was great. Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, the guy who smoked nearly a pack a day. Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, the guy who always had a drink in his hand to take the edge off.

Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, party boy who slept with whoever he wanted to whenever he wanted to without a care in the world. Five seconds ago he was Yeonjun, a normal (relatively speaking anyways) human guy.

Now he was Yeonjun, the werewolf whose senses were going into hyperdrive and who’s brain was ready to throw all that away over some girl he had only seen once for less than half a minute.

“T-That girl’s your tutor?” The elder boy asked as he worked on catching his breath, deeply gulping back a crack he knew his voice was desperate to let out.

Huening tilted his head in confusion and gripped the strap of the bag that was thrown over his shoulder a little tighter in discomfort, “Yeah… that’s ____… why…?”

Scanning the pup’s expression, Yeonjun could tell he was getting suspicious of what was going on. He knew the second the youngest understood what was going on he’d run an tell everyone in the pack.

After that there’d be no going back. After that everything would change, for him and you. But he couldn’t let that happen.

He couldn’t lose what little life he had found for himself outside of his pack. He couldn’t let go of the few things he had left that make him happy. He couldn’t throw away a life of freedom for a life of fear.

And he couldn’t get you caught up in the mess he had created that was his life, not when he finally saw you. Not when he could tell you were a happy sweet innocent person who deserved a hell of a lot better than what he could ever give you. Not when every instinct in his body was telling him to protect you from the biggest threat around: himself. He could ruin your happy, normal life.

Yeonjun knew he’d have to respond to his brother in a matter of seconds. He knew he was acting weird and that the youngest would come to his own conclusions.

But he still had one hope: no one else in their pack had gone through imprinting or mating yet, so no one knew 100% what the signs really were in real life. They only heard second hand accounts from their friends in other packs. So there was still a chance he could hide it. You still had a chance.

“No- No reason,” Yeonjun did his best to pull himself together and recreate his shattered normal cool guy persona, even though his heart was still in his throat and it was causing him to become light headed, “Just wondering. That’s all. What time do you need picked up?”

Based on Kai’s still confused face, he didn’t seem to buy Yeonjun’s answer fully. Probably because he could physically hear his brother’s pulse racing.

But he at least let it go soon enough when he heard you softly call his name in the most painfully beautiful voice Yeonjun had ever heard, “I need a ride back at 4. I gotta go, thanks for the ride hyung!”

With that, the pup went off in a hurry to meet you at your table, giving you a quick hug and placing his things on the table for you to get your session started.

And while Yeonjun’s immediate instinct to his internal decision to stay away from you was to need to whimper because you were so close yet so far away from him, he shakily began to walk to the library’s exit so he could get back to his bike.

It felt like his heart was crushing in two. It felt like the world was crumbling around him. Like all the air was being pulled from his lungs with every step further from you that he took. It felt like he was slipping away into space and that the only thing that could bring him back to earth was you. But he refused.

As he jumped on his motorcycle, started the engine, and he sped off and away from his university at full speed, tears began to slide down his face underneath his helmet.

He made a promise to himself and to you to keep you away from him, no matter how much it hurt. It was better for everyone that way.

He wasn’t meant to be in relationships. He wasn’t meant for commitment. He wasn’t meant to love people unconditionally. He physically couldn’t, he had no frame of reference to mimic to even show you he would be willing to try to figure it out for you.

He couldn’t be a boyfriend, he legitimately didn’t know how to be one. And he wasn’t about to force you to teach him while also putting you in mortal danger every single day because of him and his pack.

A part of Yeonjun’s distraught brain wondered if he should’ve felt bad for taking the choice away from you. After all, that’s why he hated the idea of mating in the first place.

But he decided that nobody should have to make that choice. Nobody should have to choose between a quiet life with someone you could never love right and a dangerous life that may be cut short because of someone you love madly. Nobody should have to feel guilty for unintentionally killing someone if they rejected them. Nobody should have to be put through it, least of all you.

You’d be safer and happier this way. And he could continue on living for his pack because you wouldn’t have verbally denied him.

He didn’t like the idea of mates and what they stood for. He hated that they took away free will. But as cheesy as it sounded, seeing you for the first time changed everything he felt just earlier in the day.

He saw you and he immediately wanted to stop partying. He saw you and would’ve instantly quit smoking and drinking if that’s what you wanted him to do. He saw you and felt the need to send out messages to all his previous fuckbuddies to let them know it was over between them, that he had no need for them when he had you.

Because all he could think about was the future he could have with you. The stereotypical one people always referenced with the nice big house with a white picket fence he would’ve helped put up himself.

One where you two had a stupidly expensive wedding where you looked absolutely stunning walking down the aisle towards where he would be at the alter bawling his eyes out knowing you would be his forever.

A future where you had normal human jobs you came home from at the end of the day and complained to each other about while making dinner.

A life where you had two kids: a boy who looked and unfortunately acted just like himself and a girl that luckily looked and acted just like you.

Now that he had met you, he wanted you to be together. He wanted you to be his mate, to be his. He was fine with his free will being taken away if it meant he was able to freely spend a lifetime with you.

But he couldn’t put you through that.

And driving away from you when he could’ve just gone and introduced himself to you and asked you out was single handedly the hardest thing he had ever done. And his life was only gonna get harder.

(Edited 2/3/2025)

[whistleloves]

HONKAI IMPACT MATCHUP FOR MY DEAREST, @drxgonspine

(I’m putting all this here because if I write this in an ask I’m gonna probably fuck it up.)

SMART PEOPLE:

Dan Heng

Romantic

Dan Heng is that really quiet guy in the back of your history class who always does exceptionally well on every test. If you were to peak over his shoulder and look into his notebook, everything would be color coded and catalogued with the skill of someone far older than he appears. He’s smart as all get out and would much rather spend his time adding to the Data bank than trifling with silly matters. He fits the bill of an incredibly smart individual decently well, and his stoic demeanor eerily remind me of Albedo at times. He’s certainly not above teasing though, and will sometimes make a remark towards those he considers a good friend. I could see you two discussing whatever topics you’re currently enthralled in with each other. He would listen to you prattle on about chemistry will diligently writing down any information that’s new to him.

Aventurine

Platonic

Aventurine is a peculiar man with a dashing sense of style and an incredibly self destructive nature. He’s quick to bet with his life and it usually works out for him. He’s blessed with a mysterious string of luck, and a horrific life. He’s a peacock incarnate and truly shows with how he carries himself. Though he may at first seem like an arrogant, self serving, conniving individual, he harbors just as much fear as anyone else. I can see a relationship with him being either romantic and platonic, though I’m leaning more platonic. Having his favor would likely mean he’d lavish you greatly with anything he could provide. He knows poverty, and he doesn’t seem to have any intention of experiencing it again. He’s witty, sarcastic, and would easily keep up with any banter you throw at him. Though of course, he’s lost so much that was dear to him, he’d be incredibly protective. As a friend (a true one at least, sometimes he says friend and means pawn.) he would cherish the bond deeply. Though he wouldn’t dare let you too close at first, he might slowly open up. This man is sneaky and strategic, and his boss fight killed my husband a few times before I did actually beat him. So I’m mad at his ass rn >:(

Kafka

Romantic

Kafka is the kind of woman who would tell you to sit down and a whole legion of people would salute and oblige. She is honestly terrifying, and off the charts smart. The way she speaks makes even ME, one of the straightest women on the planet, think “Mommy?” Her plans extend far past what the average mind can conceive, but she somehow carries herself with a sense of humor. She balances out the severity of her actions and words with a strange lack of seriousness at times. She would let you vent to her about a bad day and by the need you’d feel leagues better than before, and she’d give you some great advice to boot. She too can keep up with witty banter easily, though she may just surpass you a bit too easily. She scares me quite frankly.

THE DUMB PERSON:

Sampo Koski

Romantic/Platonic

Sampo is kinda just Sampo honestly. There’s not too much behind that goofy demeanor but a lot of well meaning scheming. He’s never an antagonist, but he certainly isn’t the most morally correct all the time. He’s goofy, well meaning, and a bit slippery. He probably gives fantastic hugs while mumbling about whatever shenanigans he got up to that day specifically.

[anamericangirl]

So it's unfair for progs to strawman you as racist for resisting the eat-bugs agenda, but it's fair to strawman anarchists because... what, you watched Mad Max and bought into a media-manufactured scaremongering campaign to keep you needing a government that is not just economically inefficient but openly evil?

Very intellectually honest of you to demand your anons to have reading comprehension but you aren't willing to have an honest debate about the inevitably corrupting nature of government and explore stateless alternatives in good faith.

What exactly did I strawman? I was literally responding to someone who characterized the argument for why we say government exists as “to restrain people” and “keep them from doing awful things.” Those are the words they used so I don’t know what you think I’m strawmanning. The whole idea was that the person who made that claim was strawmanning in the first place because that’s a misrepresentation of our position.

And it would probably be good for you to understand that me not being an anarchist does not mean I support every form of government in existence. It’s not a secret that I am very much against everything our government is right now. To think either you’re an anarchist or you support the government existing as is demonstrates an incredible lack of understanding on your part.

Also, very presumptuous of you to assume that I’m not willing to have an honest debate about corrupt government and alternatives to that because that’s categorically untrue. I have tried to have honest debates about it with some of the people in the anarcho side of this platform and y’all are consistently the ones who run from rational discussion.

You criticize other ideologies all day long but anytime anyone presents a legit criticism to an idea presented by someone in your circle y’all just resort immediately to mockery or some sort of “read a book” phrase and then just spread it around amongst yourselves sharing about how dumb you think conservatives are because they criticized anarchy. It’s like y’all think you have the default smart/correct position and anyone who doesn’t align with you is just a big government boot licker. So stop pretending I’m the one who doesn’t want an honest debate or haven’t looked into stateless societies when you guys are the ones who can’t handle criticism or questions.

And btw, my ideas about government don’t come from fear mongering media. They come from history.