#so easy for other people
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actually so confusing being acearo sometimes. like What.
#rant ahead be warned >#man idk maybe its like#being in college now#and all my friends get crushes so easily#and theyre talking abt who theyre interested in or people they find cute#or like even dating#and i just#feel so lost#yes i find people attractive but its so surface level#and its more smth i just acknowledge and move on from?? if that makes sense#i just cannot fathom constantly thinking abt romance#i didnt rlly feel it until getting to college honestly#it feels like everybody else is almost.. more mature?#even tho it has nothing to do w that#plus my roommate is lowkey flirting w this guy on our floor#and im happy for her i hope it goes well hes super nice#but idk its making me weirdly jealous#i think its bc its just#so easy for other people#whereas i dont feel that way very often#and i dont think anybodys ever rlly felt that way abt me at least that i know of#so its that lovely feeling of oh maybe theres something wrong with me#even though there definitely isnt#and i feel a lot more confident in my appearance now#but its so tiring sometimes#like am i jealous that they kinda like each other even tho its only been like three weeks#or am i just jealous that they can understand platonic vs romantic attraction so easily#or am i just jealous bc sometimes it feels so unattainable for me#to the point where it does feel like im flawed#even tho!! im not!!
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How much longer 'til your luck runs out?
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Aaargh...I have so many thoughts about this scene.#This is a hard goodbye. I'm not your burden to bear. Not anymore.#This is the culmination of years of miscommunication. There was so much love there. They trusted each other with everything once.#I think it is easy to hear the anger in JC's voice and consider him the aggressor in this but listen to the words not the tone.#It is anger yes - but it is an anger born out of love.#Jiang Cheng wanted him to live - damn the rest of the world to hell if that's what it took. And Wei Wuxian chose strangers over him.#Sometimes two people who once flourished together become each other's worst wounds.#A goodbye to someone you once would have done anything for is a wound you don't easily recover from.#Jiang Cheng could have stood at Wei Wuxian's side and joined him. Consider though; as a sect leader his life is not his own anymore.#JC cannot just abandon the fledgling New Yunmeng Jiang without also dooming people.#And that is the lynch pin of it all. Both of them are trapped by duty. And the older they got the more tangled the web became.#The song I linked (Hi Epic fans) is such a good JC and WWX song that doesn't fit this scene exactly#But it does fit *them*. The words of warning that go dismissed. The Tactical Genius who continues to press on.#The seeds of doubt that grow louder until they creep towards mutiny. Ultimatly this *is* a mutiny! It *is* betrayal!#'You rely on wit and people die by it'. Is that not Wei Wuxian?#Just smashing my brainworms together over here. Don't mind me.
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Danny has to work off his Sentence
So! Danny isn't the King of the Infinite Realms. And he is not above the Law.
Sure, he has many friends in high places, and he did defeat the King in single combat, but that doesn't mean he is above the Law in the way The King would be.
And unfortunately for him, Walkers Laws do actually have some backing.
Not all of them. Some are just laws he placed over his Lair and surrounding Territory, which he is really nitpicky about, but the Big ones he touts are the Laws of the entire Zone set by the First King. Don't Tresspass on Lairs without an official challenge, don't End a Realms Being without permission, Don't bring Humans into the Zone without permission, etc.
And Danny has broken quite a few of them, meaning Walker is entirely in his rights to put him away for a few Thousand Years. Thankfully, there is an alternative.
Since Danny wasn't wanted for any major crimes, Walker offered a different path for him. Danny was still one of the Strongest Ghosts in the Zone, and as the Portal was technically his Grave he had full authority to use it however he liked, so if he ran a couple of errands for Walker, he could consider his Sentence served.
All he has to do was round up a few of the Trouble Makers that had escaped his grasp by virtue of being in the Living Realm, and he would forgive his previous crimes.
So, Danny took him up on the offer. It was better than being constantly hounded by Walkers Guards. The fact that he could beat them easily was moot, it was extremely annoying and he wanted it to stop.
So he was given his First list of targets, and went on his way.
Ra's "The Demons Head" Al Ghul, for Tresspassing on Ghost Zone Waste Dumping Grounds
Solomon Grundy, for continued use of copyrighted poem, requested by copyright holder post mortem
Vandal Savage, for failure to notify the proper authorities about his absence on the day of his intended death
Jack "The Joker" Napier, Special Request by 1000+ Ghosts for purposes of Vengeance, Torture, and general Catharsis.
...interesting list...maybe he should have this through a bit more...
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is a Ghost Bounty Hunter#Danny is the only one legally allowed to use his Portal since it is his Grave so he is the only one Walker can legally ask to do this#The Portal is Danny's Grave#The others were technically given permission by the fact that the Door was Open and Danny hasn't closed it yet#He is pissed that it was that easy this entire time#I find it funny that the others have warrants for small stuff like tresspassing or using a copyrighted poem#But Joker has a warrant for murdering so many people their collective screams for his death were loud enough to be heard across the Zone#Also with all the stuff Ra's and Savage have done it's funny that they are only being arrested for the small stuff like Tresspassing#Also Danny gets a few special requests#The Ghost of the Wizard asked for the arrest of Black Adam because he didn't want for Billy to have to go through all that#Clockwork asked for the arrest of Reverse Flash for his careless manipulation of time#And to give the Flash Family a speeding ticket for running through Time#He's petty
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can we talk about how much queer and trans joy was this season? maggie and nina. they/them muriel, saraquel, beelzebub, even GOD. "you're a good lad" "im not actually, either". that one shopkeeper and his non binary spouse, played by a non binary actor. beelzebub and gabriel. shax, nina and maggie all thinking azi and crowley were together. also yes i'm gonna mention: crowley and aziraphale's kiss. it's just, i get that everyone's hurt and so am i but can we please focus on how beautiful this season was to us? we got so much and i'm so happy, despite the ending.
#i love queer people i love queer joy i love this show i love us sm#also crowley deliberately avoiding using 'mr' in the 1827 flashback cause she was SO CLEARLY presenting fem#this season was literally just queer people doing crazy shit for each other and im actually emotional over how accepted everyone was#in the show and how fucking easy it is to have queer and trans characters on screen and just let them be. im gonna ugly sob#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#good omens season 2#good omens s2 spoilers#go s2 spoilers#go spoilers#go s2#ineffable bureaucracy#ineffable spouses#i just realized god is actually they/she but that's cool af too#AND ELSBETH AND WEE MORAG TOO WOOOHOO GO SAPPHICS
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POV: Even with advantage and buffs, your local folk hero just rolled 1 in Intimidation
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#larian studios#wyll ravengard#wulbren bongle#shadowheart#astarion#comics#fanart#poor wyll so polite even when intimidating#and against WULBREN OF ALL PEOPLE#'but where is barcus??' still stuck on the windmill because i forgot to rescue him whoops#im a failure of a folk hero#i kinda thought of having wulbren kickin his leg or a piece of steel watch hitting him but those would be other tests#plus im kinda on an art slump so im taking easy w myself dfghjk#like i said on twitter - i should NOT be allowed to inspo reroll after this fail - but i hit reroll too fast sdfghjklkjhgf#4th member of the team was lae'zel and i didn't know what to do with her#so i rather imagine she was offscream callin raphael to take her soul for the hammer bc she cant take this embarrassment
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"Your heart was in the right place. Don't blame your earnestness and efforts for their lack of understandingāthe right people will appreciate your heart."
EDIT: i mention this in the tags already, but please don't copy my vent tags in your reblogs. thanks for understanding.
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#bright colours#self-insert#my OC Esther#nearly didn't colour this because i was really happy with the lines#but i'm glad i did#please don't copy these tags i'm just going to vent a bit#sigh i've been really feeling it lately#just very discouraged when my efforts to help are dismissed#i know i'm a people pleaser and i just want people to like me#but like#sometimes we just don't click#and it's not worth trying to work myself to the bone to convince people to give me a chance#and it's not fair to blame myself for the friendships that never came to be#they're on their own journey and i'm simply not a part of that journey#just as they are not a part of mine#and that's fine#it's easy to forget when we can connect with so many people online#that we have a limit to how many quality relationships we can realistically maintain#what does it matter if you have so many friends who ālikeā you#but have no one close enough for you to be open and honest with?#so i will save my heart for those who appreciate it#for friends who will celebrate with me as i celebrate their achievements#who i feel comfortable enough with sharing our troubles and sorrows and supporting each other through it#those are the friends who are worth my heart
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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Thinking again about how many disabled people end up getting shunted into art/craft work because like. You can technically do it. Sometimes. Yeah you make a pittance at best and are almost certainly going to make your physical health worse by pushing yourself to get things done, but what else are you gonna do? You're too sick for anyone to hire you. You're "not sick enough" to qualify for benefits. Just devote every scrap of time and energy you have to a chronically underpaid, low-prestige, incredibly labor-intensive industry. A few people manage to make it work with luck and help and the right skills. Many people don't. Everyone gets pressured to monetize their hobbies, but it's especially insidious if you're disabled because any tiny thing you manage to accomplish to bring yourself joy gets twisted into proof that you should somehow be able to work.
#curseblogging#the thing is like#i went to bookbinding school#i saw what it was like to try to make a living as a craft worker for able-bodied people with significant starting resources#and the answer is: fucking hard!#people generally being like well if you work long hours and never allow yourself a break#and do a bunch of events and shows and teaching#and are good at not just the work but at finances and marketing and every other aspect of business management#(and ideally have a spouse with a regular job so you don't have to pay for your own healthcare. because this is America)#then maybe#MAYBE#you can make a reasonable living as a craftsperson#but this same VERY DIFFICULT PROFESSION#gets pushed on disabled people as something obvious and easy#and a lot of people do try their best to make it work because what other choice do they have?!
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Sometimes I feel like celiac disease doesn't actually count as a disability since it's so easy and stress free compared to deadly allergies, but then I remember that I have to meticulously plan every trip I go to and play 4D chess with uni campus restaurant menus and for a brief moment there was genuine consideration if I should be put on growth hormones because I was so small from not getting enough nutrients
#...but then again its so easy. its no deadly nut allergy or diabetes#but then again i cant go to some countries?????#but then again i dont even have to take like medication and im not in pain constantly#but then again i was so pale and small before they found my celiac. there was no growth in my body and i shouldve been taller#but i wont DIE if i ingest gluten#but i would have a landslide's amount of other symptoms if i did ingest gluten regularly to this day#but its really just a stomach ache its nothing#but the food is more expensive and that really adds up in the long run when theres no welfare for celiac from the government#but its so accessible nowadays its like theres no issue at all#but... i have been told people feel sorry for me#but its so easy! it doesnt really count.#not fish#complicated thoughts about a lifelong autoimmune disorder is all
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@mcyt-yuri-week Day 5, Rose/Thorns I never stop thinking about SL episode 8 never ever
#gempearl#pearlgem#shinyduo#shiny duo#trafficshipping#I tried to word it a few different ways but I feel like its still so easy to interpret this as negative but noo its positive#because the thorns here are referencing the scarlet persona that Pearl's embraced. being left with nothing but it - the thorns#But it's not that Gem likes her just for her scarlet persona. She likes her for her. Pearl's not just thorns#Gem doesnt really care about the āthornsā or the petalless rose stem. she cares about Pearl. She thinks Pearl's cool (thumbs up emoji)#Pearl changes into her scarlet fit like she has many times before with the purpose of scaring people & leaning into her feared witch thing#but Gem's just like āomg slayyyā and its the best. And to Pearl it's like whoag#Gem never saw how she changed. Never saw her be ostracized and the aftermath#But she thought that the Pearl she did see in SL was cool and so easily accepted her when Pearl herself though herself so unacceptable#she got love from the Mounders and BigB and that warms my heart but Gem being a newcomer immediately embracing Pearl is just#it hits different#whoa jimbo way too many tags hghghgh#mcytyuriweekvalentines#at first I thought about smth like āwhere the others saw thorns you saw a roseā but I thought it was more fitting this way#I guess you guys be the judge of that haha idk what Im saying#tubby art
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There's something so perfect about Charles and Edwin loving and needing each other, but also going to Crystal and Niko's rooms respectively after a rough case because there is also so much value in them having sanctuaries outside of each other.
#dead boy detectives#i need to see just Niko and Charles on a case#the way everyone gazes so fondly at Niko when she talks about having her own case#they could learn so much from each other#but especially charles#there's something about two characters who come equipped to love people who don't exactly always make it easy#their kindness is immovable and knows no bounds#gimme season 2
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I think one of the most realistic parts about Baby Reindeer (2024) is how much Donny downplays the abuse he faces
I know everyone wants to hate on him for being āstupidā and blame him for everything that happened because yes from an outsiders perspective he made questionable choices but isnāt that what HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DO?
I know so many people whoāve āplayed niceā or tried to downplay abusive behavior. You try and tell yourself āIt wasnāt that badā, or that it was just some crazy experience that should be forgotten. It seems so much easier to stay silent and just try to move on.
You donāt wanna start problems
You donāt wanna be mean
You donāt wanna be the bad guy
#they blame him for not just telling her to fuck off every chance#Iāve seen people say he shouldnāt have kept giving her free drinks#or even he shouldāve never given her tea#AS IF SHOWING BASIC KINDNESS WAS THE PROBLEM#people forget that he was still a victim#Donnyās character admits that he messed up in his interactions with Martha but people need to stop and think about the situation#the fear the anxiety everything that comes with being stalked#I know Iāve dealt with creepy guys at work or at school and I didnāt say anything#and so many other people have had the same experiences#itās easy to say oh Iād do this or Iād do that#when itās not happening to you itās easy to assume youād be better and smarter than them#baby reindeer
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hey actually i do feel like i should make this post because people are so often surprised when I mention that my instagram is monetized. any business account (you can tell that it's a business account because the bio has a subtitle labeling the type of business they are) that has over 10k followers on instagram is eligible for reels monetization and any account with over 15k is eligible for post monetization. There is no requirement to disclose whether or not any given post is monetized, and every post is monetized by default when you opt-in to monetization. be cognizant of what you see and what you like. the payout system is engagement-based and rewards ragebait and engagement farming. and if you are a small artist or content creator, DO NOT let large business accounts repost your work without compensation. they are making money off of you and hoping you won't notice.
#making money from content creation isnt inherently bad obv thats what i do but jesus ever since being monetized#i see those huge fucking meme pages with 'public figure' business affiliation posting twitter screenshots twice a day and im just like#ok so you're a leech. youre stealing other peoples jokes for profit#sigh. whatever#anyways psa instagram monetization is easy. many people you follow are probably monetized. do with this info what you will#personal#also alternative more optimistic takeaway: PLEASE LIKE PEOPLES WORK ON INSTAGRAM IF YOU ENJOY IT. LIKES ARE WHAT PAYS FOR IMAGE POSTS
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hi heres my ramblings about a md rain world au i made up in like a day bye
#how do you people make this look so easy#im dying over here#why is designing things so difficult its literally my job#and im working with alreadymade designs too#cringe or whatever but i dont care i just need to post this full thing somewhere#forgot to draw doll. oh well#i have literally every episode except prom thought out in this au#what do you people even do with aus btw. do you just have them#am i supposed to be like making content for them or do you just collect them like pokemon cards#forgot to write on the thing and im too lazy to change it now but#uzis spear is meant to pierce opponents and then deliver like 17 lethal doses of electricity at once#unless i do something cool or you people want it thisll be the last you hear of this#art#murder drones#rain world#im too lazy to tag characters do it yourself#its so fanficy but theres literally no other way i could make it work out. growling noise
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god. GOD. the underlying anger in everything terry writes really IS apparent in hogfather bc fuck u mean this is how things should be? no the fuck it shouldn't. poor people shouldn't have to be satisfied with what they get, that's just fucking capitalism. i REALLY like that terry decided to use death as projection for what he thinks bc death doesn't know anything and it has to be explained to him and by it being explained to him it shows how fucking stupid those things are. bc ok here's this world where an equivalent of santa ACTUALLY exists and, because it mirrors our world, it's still unjust. santa actually fucking exists in this world and he could give ANYONE ANYTHING bc he's essentially a god and people gave him that power by making him up, BUT because ppl imagined him in a way that poor people don't get shit (like they usually do) and rich people get EVERYTHING they want, he exists like that. whereas death has seen the absolutely WORST of humanity and he STILL thinks that's bullshit and it's not how it should be, it's just how it goes. bc capitalism is always capitalism where there's money and the world will always be fucked up as long as there are oppressor to hold it up. like i just.
#IT IS HOGSWATCH said Death AND PEOPLE DIE ON THE STREETS. PEOPLE FEAST BEHIND LIGHTED WINDOWS AND OTHER PEOPLE HAVE NO HOMES. IS THIS FAIR?#āWell of course thatās the big issueāā Albert began. THE PEASANT HAD A HANDFUL OF BEANS AND THE KING HAD SO MUCH HE WOULD NOT EVEN NOTICE#THAT WHICH HE GAVE AWAY. IS THIS FAIR? āYeah but if you gave it all to the peasant then in a year or two heād be just as snooty as the king#NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT ITāS EASY TO BE NICE IF YOUāRE RICH. IS THIS FAIR?#āYou did say we just had to do this soās peopleād believeāā he began and then stopped and started again.#āWhen it comes to fair master you yourselfāāI AM EVENHANDED TO RICH AND POOR ALIKE snapped Death.#i love him i love him#discworld#gnu terry pratchett#discworld death#hogfather
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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
#spilled ink#woke up at 530 to write this lmafo#me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal#edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate#like if this is about X specific diagnosis#and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc#and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition#but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis#because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons#why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person#.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that#it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself#palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate#would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them#bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume#that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now#we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this#regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it#and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.
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