#so being ‘lazy’ not only harms no one it’s also a public service

[flowercrowncrip]

In most cases the answer is "it's lazy"

In most cases the answer is “Why do you care so much when it’s none of your business and doesn’t affect you?”

[theogonies]

HOW THEY LOVE ft. genshin boys

includes: diluc, kaeya, childe, ayato, and thoma

word count: 1.8k

content warnings: diluc's gets very mildly yandere-ish, with some references to injury and death. he just has an anxious attachment style really. slight implication of disordered eating in thoma's but it's very blink and you'll miss it. aside from that, all fluff <3

written with a gender neutral reader in mind, but there are some mentions of perfume, jewelry, etc. and kaeya's refers to them as beautiful.

THOMA: ACTS OF SERVICE.

He speaks the language of anticipation. Fresh sheets and dinner in the oven at the end of a long day. A hand knitted scarf every winter and fresh bouquets of wildflowers on your table in the spring. His love and attention aren’t abstract things; he weaves them into the fabric of the world itself until you can feel his presence all around you, as clearly as the clean air that follows a storm.

More often than not, being with Thoma feels like hanging out with a friend. He’s charming and talkative, but reserved in his affection, like there’s some hidden boundary he’s afraid to cross.

It’s not just that he’s beholden by the rules of propriety as a representative of the Kamisatos (although that is a part of it)–he’s also just a bit too empathetic for his own good. Thoma never wants you to feel pressured by him and by his political authority, physically or emotionally, and so in most cases, he leaves it to you to make the first move.

But quiet acts of service are a different matter. He learned a long time ago to recognize people’s needs without being told, and what’s the harm in cooking you a fresh meal when he notices you aren’t eating enough? Or lending a hand on household chores when he notices you’ve been stressed?

He tells himself that you don’t need to know it’s him; he can ease the pressures of your life from the shadows, let you think that your clothes folded themselves by magic and that the new scarf that arrived on your doorstep after your old one grew threadbare was a gift from a secret admirer.

But really, it’s obvious. It’s obvious in the polish of everything he does and in the prideful way he carries himself when he notices you seem less tired and stressed.

It’s most obvious of all in the way that Thoma loves you; he doesn’t need to lead the way, only to see you happy and content in your life, for you to understand how ready he is to support you on the path to your own dreams.

KAEYA: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

He’s a liar and a sweet talker–that’s what they all say. Maybe if they hadn’t, you would’ve become used to his shyness sooner. The way he avoids your gaze when his words come out too sincere, how a brush of your fingertips is enough to leave him stammering. It’s as if his heart moves faster than his mind, leaving his words to spill out half-coherent and all too tender.

Kaeya is a bit of a conundrum as a lover; while he’s always verbally affectionate and full of praise, when he truly cares about someone, it’s like he can go from his usual smooth-talking personality to shy and stuttering in an instant.

He is, unsurprisingly, a huge tease. There’s nothing he loves more than getting you flustered when you’re out in public together–whether that means loudly talking you up in front of all your friends, or secret words of praise and admiration whispered so only you can hear them. Give him time, and he’ll learn exactly what it takes to leave you flustered.

It’s when you get him talking about himself that Kaeya loses his composure. While he’s become used to lies and deflecting, it’s important to him that you understand he wants to trust you, wants you to know the true self that lies beneath his lazy and irreverent public persona.

He’s been so lonely for so long that sometimes his heart spills over with longing and affection for you. But he’s not used to expressing his feelings genuinely, and so his words become clumsy, less self-assured than usual.

As charming as his flirting may be, there’s something equally endearing in his stammered confessions.

They become more, not less, frequent the more time you spend together, too, until you find yourselves together every morning, Kaeya’s lips falling half-open as he searches for a way to express how beautiful you are to him with your hair tangled on the bedsheets and your eyes still heavy with sleep.

CHILDE: QUALITY TIME.

He loves with his whole body, hands and lips and eyes and ears. Not a sensual lover so much as a sensuous one, like you’re a vessel made to be filled with his boundless energy and adoration. Even when you fall asleep, he lies awake, drinking in your image and the sound of your breathing like wine: so precious that it leaves him lightheaded. Even when he travels, he carries the memory of your presence with him like a locket around his neck: so familiar that no matter how far he goes, it brings him peace.

No matter how much Childe wishes he could spend every waking moment with you, the Fatui always show up again with some new assignment to drag him halfway around the world.

It can be lonely loving him, sometimes, when it seems that you spend more time apart from each other than together. He writes you the sweetest letters, sends you souvenirs and photographs from lands you could only dream of, yet still, it’s nothing like it is when you’re together.

In most things, Childe is the most distractible person you’ve ever met. He’s so enthusiastic about everything that it does, but it’s like his high energy betrays him, dragging his attention away as quickly as it comes.

You’re different, though. From the day you met, his attention was all yours. Even in a crowded room, it was like the two of you were the only ones around. He was all questions, desperate to learn everything about you.

The tone of his antics changes around you, too; while Childe feels an intrinsic, personal sense of pleasure in the strength of his own body, he becomes much more of a show-off around you. He wants your eyes on him at all times, the same way his linger on you, completely unashamed to be caught staring.

Childe is very much a physically affectionate lover, but it’s not so much that he needs to be touching you at all times as it is that he’s content to go wherever his moods lead him. Sometimes that means holding you close; others it’s as simple as running, dancing, or even sitting quietly listening to you speak, his eyes full of worship.

No matter how much time you spend apart from one another, it’s like all that distance is forgotten the moment you see each other again. He gives himself to you fully: a playful, genuine kind of lover, present in every moment.

AYATO: GIFTS.

He’s an old fashioned lover: not bashful, just patient. When you’re together, he sometimes moves so slow that it’s hard to believe he likes you as much as you like him. But it’s the moments that come between where he reminds you what you truly mean to him: bouquets of your favorite flowers quietly delivered to your doorstep, kimonos cut from silks softer and more delicate than you knew possible. Let love come as it will and someday, he promises, all the good and beautiful things in this world will be yours.

It’s no secret that the Kamisatos have more money than they know what to do with. Even if they weren’t one of the wealthiest families in Inazuma, Ayato doesn’t exactly get many opportunities to go out or spend on frivolous things for himself.

And that’s not to mention the gifts they accumulate as thanks for Ayato’s hard work. They have entire rooms in their home filled to the brim with fine art, expensive liquor, furniture and clothing crafted by Inazuma’s best artisans. Someday, he promises himself again and again, he’ll figure out the best way to put them to use.

He finds his answer when he meets you.

Ayato moves very slowly in relationships. Considering how sensitive his work is, it’s difficult for him to find someone he can trust, and he prefers to take his time putting you at ease while confirming your loyalty.

Even if that weren’t the case, Ayato is a busy man. It’s not that he doesn’t want to spend every waking moment with you–he just can’t.

But what he can do is have little gifts delivered to your door: bouquets, bottles of perfume, the expensive jewelry he saw you eyeing last time you walked through the marketplace together. Proof that he’s thinking of you, even when his mind ought to be busy with other, more responsible things.

He’s not an easy man to love (or so he tells himself)–but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make you feel like the precious, treasured thing you are.

DILUC: PHYSICAL TOUCH.

His chin, resting on the crown of your head. Your face, buried in the collar of his coat. His fingers, skimming your cheekbones, running down your arms: desperate, needy, afraid. The only time he’s fully at ease is at night, with your body folded against his chest. His every breath is a whispered prayer to you, his home and his place of worship.

Diluc is all too aware of how easy it is to lose the people you care about. Between his father’s death and his falling out with Kaeya, he’s extremely anxious in his affections, even though he does everything he can to hide that side of himself from you.

He doesn’t want to come across as possessive, or for you to feel stifled, but still, he can’t keep his mind from racing when you’re apart from one another.

Every time you’re reunited–whether it’s been weeks or mere hours apart–he greets you as if you've been separated for years. The embrace of a long lost lover, the kind of kiss that poets write ballads about and that generals go to war for. He's a romantic to the bone, and it shows.

Things are different when he returns to you as the Darknight Hero, though. Hunting the Fatui is an emotional high to him, so intense that he can forget himself. It’s only once he’s home, safe with you, that he’s able to come back down to earth. It’s at these moments when he’s the most desperate and unreserved in his affection for you.

On more than one occasion, he’s come home a wreck, terrified of finding you missing, hurt, or worse. He spends those nights carefully inspecting every inch of your skin for injuries, kissing even the smallest bruises and cat scratches until he’s absolutely sure that you’re safe. The whole time, he whispers small reassurances, although it’s not always clear whether they’re directed towards you or to himself.

Over time, though, even those old wounds close as his trust in you grows. Every time he comes home to you, holds you safe and secure in his arms, his faith grows stronger. Your presence alone is all he could ever ask for.

[bunnygiggles]

The Problem with Prostitution

LEGALIZING PROSTITUTION WOULD NOT HELP PROTECT WOMEN AT ALL. It will never be dignifying for women because it will only dignify the sex industry. It is innately abusive, not just in a sexual way, but also promoting exploitative one-sided relations that would only benefit the patriarchal society. 

Some would say prostitution is a job opportunity and that they needed it because that is what they can do. It is like, “if women are often objectified, why not make a profit out of it?” mentality. It is saddening to know and see that these women have no options. This signifies that the lack of choices is indeed a sign of oppression. 

One of the ROOT CAUSES of women entering the world of prostitution is poverty. They opt for this choice out of necessity and not because they want it. They need money to sustain their needs, and some also do it to provide for their families.

Another cause is unemployment. The lack of job opportunities for women because of discrimination or even impossible qualifications made them do it. The lack of skills also contributes to the difficulties of employment and thinking that prostitution could be a choice because living in a patriarchal society, women are often viewed as sexual objects that satisfy men's sexual fantasies. 

A third cause of prostitution is because of family negligence. Women who grew up without family guidance and protection are easily swayed to pathways comprising bad decisions after bad decisions. Such vices as alcohol and substance abuse, peer pressure, and victims of sexual abuse would make them seek validation outside their homes and in the streets, offering themselves to people who “accept and love” them, which could lead to prostitution. 

Instead of legalizing it by trapping them in an abusive occupation, why not make SOLUTIONS so that they can escape from it?

One solution is to promote public awareness through educational engagements. Campaigns about women's rights and welfare are necessary, not just for women, but also for men's participation. Reform of a system should always start at the grassroots level to cut the root causes of harmful effects of prostitution. 

In terms of societal issues, there should be more employment opportunities and greater access to social services that do not only benefit the privileged. This can be achievable through good governance. The distribution of such needs would eradicate the chances of engaging in prostitution because the basic needs would be met, and poverty would be gradually eradicated. Poverty does not produce laziness to find jobs, but it also leads to selective opportunities in life due to some qualifications not being met. 

Lastly, prostitution should not be legalized. Some would say that decriminalizing prostitution would defend the rights of female sex workers. But in reality, it will just raise the demand of availing them, making them also prone to abuse and violence so that it will be so common and normalized, which should not be in the first place. It would also decriminalize the pimps and the businesses related to them. Decriminalizing prostitution is legitimizing women's exploitation. 

[empyllon]

Around the Bureaucracy in +80 Days: 5 Weeks in Hell — Where is Em?

TW unaliving, self harm, harmful thoughts, domestic violence, depression, systemic abuse and the factors that drive/prevent it systematically in Sweden, from one perspective

Part I, the Austerity Measures

Foreword

Today is March 26th as I start writing this, but I am doubtful I'll finish this draft tonight, or this week. When I publish, it might be tomorrow, or the week after, or never. I won't know until this is formulated and I hit post.

The title is a reference to the book "Around the world in 80 days", but the similarities ends there. I just needed a witty title to my experiences, at the expense of a preexisting work.

The State, the Laws, the System

So let me begin as far as I can go back. Because this story is not about me, but about the system around me. The attitudes, the support, and the erosion of it that caused such a thing as mass suicides among vulnerable citizens.

It begins in 2010, our government has become moderate. Some quiet changes has been made to the welfare and benefits system. There is a 180 day cap introduced to the sick pay. And 2012, a specific kind of sick pay (sjukpenning, SP) is created for individuals who has never had a job. The catch?

This is a bottleneck, specifically designed to make it as hard as possible for people entitled to "disability reimbursement" (sjukersättning, SE), formerly called early retirement (förtidspension). If you are below 30, you'd have "activity reimbursement" (aktivitetsersättning, AE).

It's about saving money either way.

The idea is that you would go from AE to SE if your rehabilitation hasn't been fruitful, but you might be placed on SP until you have done your trials. However, while AE & SE have about the same pay (it's adjusted for inflation), SP is not. In the later years, SP has been used to deny people AE as well, due to the 180 day limitation, causing people to become "uninsured", as a way to lower the statistic for people on benefits.

The Numbers

SP, 100% disability is fixed 160 sek/day, no adjustment for inflation

SP has a housing benefit with a cap of 7000 sek, that supposedly is paid the month after (this is what I'm told)

AE, 100% disability in 2023 was 568 sek/day, adjusted for inflation

AE has a housing benefit with a percentile coverage based on cost between 90-75% of your max rent, and is paid the same month

AE also comes with expanded rights to activities that promote rehabilitation, I'm unsure if SE includes this, SP does not. But realistically, with the crashed housing market, and increased rental costs, not even the smallest benefit can cover comfortable living for a disabled person. As in, assistive fitted tools, medication or adjustments. My own numbers were abysmally small by themselves; SP alone was 2560sek (due to delayed/refused housing benefit) and supposedly, at full reimbursement only yields 3712kr, and AE was 11928 (plus a housing benefit of 75% coverage in June 2023) allowed for a much better living standard. The issue lies in the daily allowance; AE is 350% times higher than SP, and SP is well below the minimum existence level. The system is designed to be punishing and harsh, so that people stop being "lazy" and go to work. I'll get back to this in a bit.

Too Sick to work, Too Healthy to be Sick

There is a saying here in Sweden that "you have to be healthy enough to be sick". Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Along with these statements each state agency behind this has their own derogatory names; Försäkringskassan "Förskräcklingskassan" (akin to "antisocial nonsurance system", more literally "horrible insurance") and Arbetsförmedlingen "Arbetsförnedringen" (Public Humiliation Service, or literally "work humiliation"). I'll just refer to them as FK and AF from now on though, but there is a reason for their "names".

The purpose of these bottlenecks is that our government has since the new financial policies from 1993 that decentralized some institutions (read privatized), decided we need to cut spending on welfare. It's only in 2010 that our government realized the plans, and we now in 2024 have record low reports of people living on welfare.

There is a reason for every number, and the bad math is on full display (this is the so called "9. 0 goal", referring to the median days of sick pay being paid out). Post 2010, there have been reports of people either dying from cut assistance, or simply choosing to end their lives when they have nowhere to go.

Erland, 55 (2018)

Johan 35, (2021) (Source #2)

Sara, 33 (2019)

Linnéa, 22 (2020)

These are only a few names and articles I could pull under the search query "självmord försäkringskassan" on google (these are complete separate instances of welfare from the entire chaos that are the migration policies, although sometimes they overlap). There is a staggering amount of articles, that again and again state that a stable income is one of the foundations to improve mental wellbeing. And that the government knew that cutting welfare came with this risk. And... only in 2022 have they as much lifted the issue in the riksdag.

So why the hubbub? Why raise a fuss? Because aptly put — Sweden has invented a suicide machine, and I'm one causality.

News outlets are reporting of elevated suicide threats to FK staff (source #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6) and that the insurance system FK is disregarding the red flags. It's been reported that the case managers are actively encouraged to, or sometimes gets a bonus based on how many people they reject (#2), and has made it a competition in their office. They have also been documented as being callous, derogatory and outright ableist. They will even override doctors medical expertise to pull benefits and sometimes override their NDAs. Due to the toxic work environment, the government agency also has a high turnover.

As of today, Sweden has no legal clause to hold state workers accountable for such grave errors. It was scrapped in 1976, and replaced with a law that has less legal effect. You can report agencies to Justitieombudsmannen (justice ombudsman department), but it often has little effect. Even if you pull FK to court, and you win, they might totally disregard your case. In some cases they might demand a new court trial, in order to make you pay back.

What used to be jokingly memed about, "svensk välfärd" has become somewhat of a zeitgeist of a bygone era, where swedes took pride in sayings like "arrived like a letter in the mail"("som ett brev på posten"), "smooth as the train" ("går som loket/på räls") and so on. All of these referenced phenomena have since become privatized or decentralized with negative effects (#1, #2, #3).

Part II, The Time Frame to Disintegrate a Human

The Basic Understanding of Needs

It doesn't take much to totally annihilate a human and make them be void of any positive feelings of the self.

We can talk about it in terms of psychology, and use something simple like Maslow's pyramid.

The levels are (from bottom to top);

Pysiological Needs (Breathing, Food, Water, Shelter, Clothing, Sleep)

Safety & Security (Health, Employment, Property, Family, Social Ability)

Love & Belonging (Friendship, Family, Intimacy, Sense of Connection)

Self-Esteem (Confidence, Achievement, Respect of Others, the need to be a unique individual)

Self-Actualization (morality, creativity, spontaneity, acceptance, experience purpose, meaning and inner potential)

If we are talking about an already lesser-abled/differently-abled person — because let's be frank — without tools or assistance, some of us are unable to function, rendering us partially or fully disabled. This pyramid becomes the easiest way to explain the ableist droning of "why can't you just...", this is why.

A lot of neurotypical and/or ablebodied seem to lack the architectural skill of designing inclusive systems and societies that promote healthy growth, instead opting for some sort of stick. Usually in a similar fashion to people who say "my parents hit me and I came out fine", but reality is, you get a better growth curve with positive reinforcements and constructive negative reinforcement. Heck, even after owning only one elderly dog of 14 years, I've encountered these preconceived notions that "you can't teach an old dog to sit", mind you, he (the dog was untrained when I got him). Since then, he now knows a bunch of commands, and can almost perfectly heel off-leash. This is with a mostly positive reinforcement regimen, where negative reinforcement has only been used to teach him to avoid danger.

Enough side tracking, back to the main point.

The Calm Before the Storm

So how many days does it take to destroy a human through bureaucratic means?

About 90 days, if you count from my experience. I'll explain it.

It starts with being put on AE, because I was lucky to get on it before the 2012 reform. In Sweden, you also have something called LSS, which is summarized an anti-discrimination law of disabled individuals that includes neurodivergencies. This has mostly shielded me from most bullshit, until now, and allowed me quite a lot of support, which might be why I'm still alive.

Today it's March 27th. 90 days ago it would've been November 22nd, it's actually not that far from reality.

As I mentioned AE only covers you until you turn 30, and then you either have to

a) go into work rehabilitation programs or,

b) apply for SE, which with the new rules is increasingly hard to get.

Even though I could technically and legally qualify for it, my casemanager has told me that she will deny any applications I make. (I'll try to explain this later.)

Timeline Begin!

So in mid December I was scheduled for a "handover meeting", where my AE case manager gave me to a manager overseeing SP and a manager overseeing my case at AF. I had an assistive person attend from the LSS network, that helps specifically with work rehabilitation/education/occupation, abbreviated as EFA.

I was told the following;

My reimbursement would be less than now, but it shouldn't be a problem...

I'll be put on a work training program with AF to be an intern in active training...

I would get some paperwork sent to my home regarding rehabilitation reimbursement, RE ("rehab ersättning"), and was supposed to fill it in. However, I've forgotten the rest of the details, because despite my best efforts being neurodivergent, ND often means information overloading, despite keeping notes. (This will be relevant later.)

All government agencies will work together...

What I wasn't told;

But my reimbursement would be below poverty level, to the degree I could not afford any amenities, including medication to attend "training".

But I would have to apply to any programs/workplaces myself, while my case manager at AF does nothing but criticizes my efforts.

But my case manager at FK overseeing the SP would constantly use veiled legal terms and difficult words to delay or prevent me from applying to the right aid. She would sometimes flat out lie about papers sent, and misinform my social workers calling for clarification, causing paperwork to go missing.

But only in a way that would erode my energy, and in a way to deny me my legally approved LSS services. Claiming that I don't have the right to them and so on.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, so let's pull back a bit.

It's January now, so me and EFA draws a battle plan with AF, following the guidelines of FK. My month is mostly normal, I contact my doctor, apply for a new ID, take out my medications, work out, care for the dog.

Mid month, I talk with FK and get told what is going to happen. The only reason I know this is because my external memory is a notebook and a paper calendar with color coding. My notes from December-January state I was supposed to apply for;

a) SP with housing benefits

b) apply for SE if I can't work

c) fill in a form for RE and send it in

Don't report later than February 1st, and there will be a meeting with the case managers. To summarize, my notes are twice the size in bullets and span pages per meeting and task, each page with stick-ns and post-its (so you can see how easily someone gets overwhelmed).

Somehow I managed to get this step done, minus RE, because I forgot what the one prior case manager said (but it's still relevant to the story).

It's already just barely 4 weeks in, and we are already tangenting level #2 of Maslow's famous pyramid.

Oblivious to my abysmal future, I carry on, doing my best, trying to ignore the gut feeling (always trust it).

It rolls over to February, I send in the some papers, because I am not sure about what they mean. I couldn't apply in the end of January, and only in early February I understood it as.

Attend my doctors meeting to get the evaluation, and the eerie thing is this guy tells me "Em, from experience I don't think it will work, but they usually don't deny my extended applications for SP". I know he has his reasons of clinical expertise to make a judgement, and in hindsight, guy was right. I wasn't too invested in trying to understand the bureaucratic lingo, as I was in the middle of trying to combat a shortage on one of my daily medications, and I was more focused on solving that issue.

One problem less right?

Dead wrong. So from this day onward, in a picturesque description; it's like you start observing seismic activity on the radar, and you get concerned over the readings, before the actual catastrophe hits.

I keep going though, I wanna be good, I want to show I am a citizen of good standing. My performance anxiety kicks in. I'm placed at a dog daycare, and I make sure to be good with my boss. I never ask for accommodations other than asking that nobody eats peanuts in the kitchen, I use all my assistive tools (corset, orthoses, pain relief, psychotherapeutic medications, planners, custom shoes, etc.). I bring my dog with me initially to work, along with my gear. And I do good, at least I try. I make sure my dog behaves with their pups and help them organize/discuss stuff. Mostly I'm helping with the dog walks (relevant). This is from the 18th onward.

However second week, I'm told that my dog is no longer welcome due to new regulations, and that I need to start taking more/other dogs. Most of their clients are bully-type dogs, which is by no means something bad, but they are strong and have bullish willpower that requires a strong handler with the right physique. Just by comparison — I own a 3,4kg senior toypoodle that has been leash trained, and mostly walks off-leash as part of his training. The dog I was given to walk was a small French bulldog that was used to flexi-leashes and would run into oncoming car traffic any chance she could. I would describe her posture as frog-like due to the sheer pulling. She had a good nature, but horrible leash manners. It seemed she got worse when she was given shorter leads, which could be a sign of frustration.

Imagine handling that daily, intensively for 30-45 minutes. I think anyone would be sore.

On the 23rd FK finally responded to my claim. After being radio silent for a week. On the 24th they approved it, a text stated I'd be entitled to 2560 sek. So I logged into my e-services to make sure it was real, because like I said AE was much higher. In December 2023 they sent a sms statement saying they will be paying me 17589 sek. Anyone with at least one point in logic skill can see there is a huge gap of 15029 sek, you can sort of explain some of it away, but the more you stare, the more of an offensive austerity measure it becomes.

AE broken down looked like;

13036 + 6549 (housing allowance) - 1996 (tax)

Remember how I talked about flexibility and percentages earlier? This is where that stuff matters.

The daily reimbursement is closer to a very low wage job, that can allow you some flexibility. It also comes with a beneficiary card for 25% discounts.

SP broken down;

3200 + (no housing allowance) - 640 (tax)

When the daily allowance is fixed, you get no wiggle room for errors, or extras.

I might have dyscalulia, but I can still use markers, tools and excel sheets to sort my own finances, so I did. I thought there must be some grave mistake. You know, the oblivious to the fact, believing it was a simple solution. DEAD WRONG.

Regardless, I checked my medication stock. I'm running low. Made a journey into town on my way to work between my doctors appointments for newer orthoses and my internship. I showed a clerk at the office my paperslip with the math and said "can you make this work?" I think this was on the 26th or the 27th. She called my case manager, saying I might not even be entitled to SP. My case manager at FK had changed, you know, like that story of Jekyll and Hyde. She became cold, callous.

I had entered a state of panic.

I had friends run my numbers too. And it was all the same, after rent I'd have around 397 sek left. If you ever seen the memes that say "I finally paid rent, now I have a place to starve and freeze in", this is exactly it. I used my adaptive excel sheet to calculate my finances, and cut off anything that isn't essential (not that I had any to begin with). I had so many suggestions as well, I could move theoretically (but rent is still due), I could give up/surrender/sell my dog (and suffer alone).

Regardless of how these numbers went I'd be -4023 every month. Half is just the cost of utilities, you know, heat, water, internet and so on. Half is groceries and medical expenses. I had with assistive tools set up a frugal lifestyle that allowed me some savings. But if you are constantly reliant on new assistive tools, your savings can vanish just like so (a set of shoes with custom soles are usually 3600 sek, my much needed orthoses are 900 sek).

I'm not writing this to e-beg, I'm writing this for you to see, to understand how financially crippling it is to be disabled and in need of tools you can't afford.

And we are still only in February.

So I asked my social workers to help me locate the contacts and numbers for each case manager to rectify this problem. Because I've never been late with rent and it's honestly one of the most stressful situations to be in.

So we called the case manager for SP, and asked, and sought clarification. Did I send in all my papers right? Will I be able to pay my rent? What about RE, because I need to afford my medications. Yes the papers came in. Rent next month, it will be a delay. RE is irrelevant and you won't be reimbursed for your days in training.

Meanwhile me and EFA have weekly meetings, AF decided I should only contact them every 6 weeks for a follow up. I started lifting the fact I will have issues to go to work, both because of my ticket expiring and my lack of access to affordable medication. My casemanager at AF said that any financial questions are to be forwarded to FK. (So I brought them there.) EFA was keen on still hounding them down for me.

It's not like I didn't try, I did. On the 26th(?) I applied for municipal welfare, after being heckled by FK; "if you can't afford anything, apply for welfare". I sat through 1 e-application, 1 phone meeting, 1 physical meeting and at least 2 complementary paperworks, either with a parent and/or social workers. Trying to note down what I needed to do. My welfare, "WF" manager, has been away from work since mid-February. Despite calling weekly to ask who is overseeing my case, so I can pay rent, I never got full answers.

I couldn't sleep, nor afford my meds. I had to chose between my sleep aid, or my daily tablets, so I chose my dailies.

On the 29th I physically broke down, unable to work. My hands stopped functioning. I dropped a mug due to a failing grip, and I recall vividly that day. I let the last of my spotify premium play podcasts run on autoplay sometime during the week, and P3 Dystopia aired an episode on suicides and what drives them.

The three factors mentioned

Economic crisis — I can't afford my living

Isolation — I can't travel freely

Feeling like a burden — Shamed for being less abled

There are a few more, but the short summary gave only 3.

The podcast was more about the statistics, and trends within the genders, than the actual act of it. It also went over preventative measures and buffering effects. Regardless, after hearing that, and glancing over my own situation. I turned to my contact at EFA and said "put me on suicide watch and don't let me go".

The Beginning of the End

It's now March, I've called my landlord and pleaded for help. Asked to postpone my billing, just tried to put out any fire possible while balancing trying to not stress my dog and keeping up with the good girl image. Just trying to survive. I got no good graces left, my landlord won't push anything past March. The welfare system bans you from receiving payments, so I am forced to wait for their evaluations. I feel like I'm standing before the executioner.

I recall the podcast, and the time process it takes to go from just an intrusive thought, to real actionable plans. I cracked a joke at my peers, to synchronize their death watches, nobody would suspect a harmless TF2 meme as my way to say "I'm dying soon, it was nice to know you". A meme is a meme after all.

I think I set it to 2 weeks. That's when my expiry date as a passable good is over. I'm just another carcass thrown to the biowastage grinder, perhaps to end up as fuel somewhere, or just as pure filth.

I thought I wasn't good for anything. A failure. Just a waste of space. That I was better off dead.

I went as far as considering the comfort of my peers, to simply vanish. I won't say how, or with what, as that is how someone else might end up hurting themselves. I imagined remaining gone forever would be better than finding my remains. I also considered my dog, how he's my child, and that he deserved someone better than me.

If you have read this far, you can see how the pyramid of needs have eroded, and it didn't take that long either. You can also see given the sources, that I'm fitting all the criteria for becoming suicidal.

Did you try...x?

It's not like I didn't try. I really did.

At every instance where there was a snag, I referred to my health network. I talked to my occupational therapist about the hands and the internship, and was recommended to ask for help finding an office job because they were mortified regarding the laboring tasks. AF told me I have no redeeming qualifications for that. When I asked in forums for my disabilities what people worked with, I requested to be put on a training program that suit my abilities, again AF said no, I'm not entitled to it. I also asked a friend that works as a job coach what is going wrong, explaining my situation, only to be turned down when I asked AF for an evaluation of my competencies (on their suggestion as this would enable me to find internships faster and enter programs more tailored to me). This past week I learned AF also has something called SIUS consultants, which is a specifically appointed consultant with competencies tailored to disabled individuals. I asked EFA to find out if my AF contact was one, the answer no.

Ground 0

After exhausting all my ideas, all my possible solutions. I had none left, even with LSS at my back, the system won. Last Wednesday I had my final call with FK and AF with EFA.

I once more asked "realistically, how do you think I will manage work, without my assistive tools? Without medication?"

FK replied "seek welfare then"

I replied "I did in February, it's at least 3 weeks waiting time, I can't afford to maintain my health"

Radio silence.

AF chimes in "Em forget the money"

I again reiterated my needs, and asked about RE.

I questioned her on it asking why one is called rehab and the other is called sick in title.

FK then started citing some legal paper, without explaining the differences or why I was sent this paper to begin with. She just kept repeating that they are the same. And I'm wrong and won't get any more money.

They are not the same. They are two different economic programs for different activities and purposes. You can read about them here and here. My issue is I need to verify I do things correct, due to my disability.

After that call I decided, I didn't want to live anymore.

Disability Bingo

So how many conditions qualify for a humane insurance system?

It's individual, and regional. Randomly based on the case manager you get.

I won't state my full medical history because I'm not some zoo animal to watch, but I'll say this.

I have more than 3. The ones that impact my day the most are Ehler-Danlos (hypermobile), AD(H)D (I think it's type C nowadays), and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

When I'm medicated, I'm slightly more prominent on the spectrum, but it's manageable, ASD comes with perks too. EDS require a strict regimen of rest, and regular exercise. I used to lift weight machines to prevent my physical pain and subluxations. Despite the best of efforts, I'm still very limited. I rely on cars and buses, but I'm very much self reliant.

With the right supports I'm a star model for rehabilitation and upward mobility, but denied my basic needs, I'm like a fish out of water, forced to climb a tree.

Due to my severe counts of subluxations, I'm always careful with how I use my body. (I've dislocated my elbow by lifting a phone and opening a car door.)

You hopefully understand my predicament now, and the true scope of my limitations.

Part III — Where are you now?

Inside You There Are Two Beasts

That's how the meme goes.

Inside me,

there's the dark overwhelming monster that wants to kill myself,

and then there is the side that wants to live.

The side that wants lo live has won, for now.

Before I acted on my plans, and undo myself forever, I called 112.

I cried on the phone, told them how I felt. An ambulance came, and they took down my story.

I got placed in urgent psychiatric care with supervision and has mostly slept.

What I told you here is only really the short, and tailored version of actual events. There is so much more I wish I could talk about, but I need you to know.

I. Am. Safe.

My dog, Robin is safe. A friend that knows me has his full care sheet and is updating me.

The hospital knows about my situation, so does my network. Most of them.

I hate opening up to people about myself, to show myself at my most delicate, but maybe this post will stand as a beacon to someone in the dark.

I tried, and I tried real damn hard to get everyone to see and hear me. I shouted on top of my lungs, and only now has I arrived in a place where my weary voice is tuned into.

There was this quote from the Netflix series Midnight Club, it goes something like;

"Here but not here. Gone but not forgotten."

I'm still here, I hope you haven't forgotten me.

And I hope anyone out there, reading and identifying with this, will keep trying.

Someone will hear you.

Today it's the 27th as I write this. I've been hospitalized for about 5 days, and I've slept most of it. I feel like I still have to justify my own existence, even though I don't have to.

Call the hotline, tell your story.

The most disgusting part was that FK still tried to call me, to make sure I was actually sick. Had I not had EFA or LSS... I don't even wanna think about it.

[mcmansionhell]

Coronagrifting: A Design Phenomenon

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled content to bring you a critical essay on the design world. I promise you that this will also be funny. 

This morning, the design website Dezeen tweeted a link to one of its articles, depicting a plexiglass coronavirus shield that could be suspended above dining areas, with the caption “Reader comment: ‘Dezeen, please stop promoting this stupidity.’”

This, of course, filled many design people, including myself, with a kind of malicious glee. The tweet seemed to show that the website’s editorial (or at least social media) staff retained within themselves a scintilla of self-awareness regarding the spread a new kind of virus in its own right: cheap mockups of COVID-related design “solutions” filling the endlessly scrollable feeds of PR-beholden design websites such as Dezeen, ArchDaily, and designboom. I call this phenomenon: Coronagrifting. 

I’ll go into detail about what I mean by this, but first, I would like to presenet some (highly condensed) history. 

From Paper Architecture to PR-chitecture

Back in the headier days of architecture in the 1960s and 70s, a number of architectural avant gardes (such as Superstudio and Archizoom in Italy and Archigram in the UK) ceased producing, well, buildings, in favor of what critics came to regard as “paper architecture.” This “paper architecture” included everything from sprawling diagrams of megastructures, including cities that “walked” or “never stopped” - to playfully erotic collages involving Chicago’s Marina City. Occasionally, these theoretical and aesthetic explorations were accompanied by real-world productions of “anti-design” furniture that may or may not have involved foam fingers. 

Archigram’s Walking City (1964). Source.

Paper architecture, of course, still exists, but its original radical, critical, playful, (and, yes, even erotic) elements were shed when the last of the ultra-modernists were swallowed up by the emerging aesthetic hegemony of Postmodernism (which was much less invested in theoretical and aesthetic futurism) in the early 1980s. What remained were merely images, the production and consumption of which has only increased as the design world shifted away from print and towards the rapidly produced, easily digestible content of the internet and social media. 

Architect Bjarke Ingels’s “Oceanix” - a mockup of an ecomodernist, luxury city designed in response to rising sea levels from climate change. The city will never be built, and its critical interrogation amounts only to “city with solar panels that floats bc climate change is Serious”  - but it did get Ingels and his firm, BIG, a TED talk and circulation on all of the hottest blogs and websites. Meanwhile, Ingels has been in business talks with the right-wing climate change denialist president of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro. (Image via designboom) 

Design websites are increasingly dominated by text and mockups from the desks of a firm’s public relations departments, facilitating a transition from the paper-architecture-imaginary to what I have begun calling “PR-chitecture.” In short, PR-chitecture is architecture and design content that has been dreamed up from scratch to look good on instagram feeds or, more simply, for clicks.  It is only within this substance-less, critically lapsed media landscape that Coronagrifting can prosper.

Coronagrifting: An Evolution

As of this writing, the two greatest offenders of Coronagrifting are Dezeen, which has devoted an entire section of its website to the virus (itself offering twelve pages of content since February alone) and designboom, whose coronavirus tag contains no fewer than 159 articles. 

Certainly, a small handful of these stories demonstrate useful solutions to COVID-related problems (such as this one from designboom about a student who created a mask prototype that would allow D/deaf and hard of hearing people to read lips) most of the prototypes and the articles about them are, for a lack of a better word, insipid. 

But where, you may ask, did it all start?

One of the easiest (and, therefore, one of the earliest) Coronagrifts involves “new innovative, health-centric designs tackling problems at the intersection of wearables and personal mobility,” which is PR-chitecture speak for “body shields and masks.” 

Wearables and Post-ables

The first example came from Chinese architect Sun Dayong, back at the end of February 2020, when the virus was still isolated in China. Dayong submitted to Dezeen a prototype of a full mask and body-shield that “would protect a wearer during a coronavirus outbreak by using UV light to sterilise itself.” The project was titled “Be a Bat Man.” No, I am not making this up. 

Screenshot of Dayong’s “Be a Batman” as seen on the Dezeen website. 

Soon after, every artist, architect, designer, and sharp-eyed PR rep at firms and companies only tangentially related to design realized that, with the small investment of a Photoshop mockup and some B-minus marketing text, they too could end up on the front page of these websites boasting a large social media following and an air of legitimacy in the field. 

By April, companies like Apple and Nike were promising the use of existing facilities for producing or supplying an arms race’s worth of slick-tech face coverings. Starchitecture’s perennial PR-churners like Foster + Partners and Bjarke Ingels were repping “3D-printed face shields”, while other, lesser firms promised wearable vaporware like “grapheme filters,” branded “skincare LED masks for encouraging self-development” and “solar powered bubble shields.” 

While the mask Coronagrift continues to this day, the Coronagrifting phenomenon had, by early March, moved to other domains of design. 

Consider the barrage of asinine PR fluff that is the “Public Service Announcement” and by Public Service Announcement, I mean “A Designer Has Done Something Cute to Capitalize on Information Meant to Save Lives.” 

Some of the earliest offenders include cutesy posters featuring flags in the shape of houses, ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home;” a designer building a pyramid out of pillows ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home”; and Banksy making “lockdown artwork” that involved covering his bathroom in images of rats ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home.” 

Lol. Screenshot from Dezeen. 

You may be asking, “What’s the harm in all this, really, if it projects a good message?” And the answer is that people are plenty well encouraged to stay home due to the rampant spread of a deadly virus at the urging of the world’s health authorities, and that these tone-deaf art world creeps are using such a crisis for shameless self promotion and the generation of clicks and income, while providing little to no material benefit to those at risk and on the frontlines.

Of course, like the mask coronagrift, the Public Service Announcement coronagrift continues to this very day. 

The final iteration of Post-able and Wearable Coronagrifting genres are what I call “Passive Aggressive Social Distancing Initiatives” or PASDIs. Many of the first PASDIs were themselves PSAs and art grifts, my favorite of which being the designboom post titled “social distancing applied to iconic album covers like the beatle’s abbey road.” As you can see, we’re dealing with extremely deep stuff here. 

However, an even earlier and, in many ways more prescient and lucrative grift involves “social distancing wearables.” This can easily be summarized by the first example of this phenomenon, published March 19th, 2020 on designboom: 

Never wasting a single moment to capitalize on collective despair, all manner of brands have seized on the social distancing wearable trend, which, again, can best be seen in the last example of the phenomenon, published May 22nd, 2020 on designboom:

We truly, truly live in Hell. 

Which brings us, of course, to living. 

“Architectural Interventions” for a “Post-COVID World”

As soon as it became clear around late March and early April that the coronavirus (and its implications) would be sticking around longer than a few months, the architectural solutions to the problem came pouring in. These, like the virus itself, started at the scale of the individual and have since grown to the scale of the city. (Whether or not they will soon encompass the entire world remains to be seen.) 

The architectural Coronagrift began with accessories (like the designboom article about 3D-printed door-openers that enable one to open a door with one’s elbow, and the Dezeen article about a different 3D-printed door-opener that enables one to open a door with one’s elbow) which, in turn, evolved into “work from home” furniture (”Stykka designs cardboard #StayTheF***Home Desk for people working from home during self-isolation”) which, in turn, evolved into pop-up vaporware architecture for first responders (”opposite office proposes to turn berlin's brandenburg airport into COVID-19 'superhospital'”), which, in turn evolved into proposals for entire buildings (”studio prototype designs prefabricated 'vital house' to combat COVID-19″); which, finally, in turn evolved into “urban solutions” aimed at changing the city itself (a great article summarizing and criticizing said urban solutions was recently written by Curbed’s Alissa Walker).

There is something truly chilling about an architecture firm, in order to profit from attention seized by a global pandemic, logging on to their computers, opening photoshop, and drafting up some lazy, ineffectual, unsanitary mockup featuring figures in hazmat suits carrying a dying patient (macabrely set in an unfinished airport construction site) as a real, tangible solution to the problem of overcrowded hospitals; submitting it to their PR desk for copy, and sending it out to blogs and websites for clicks, knowing full well that the sole purpose of doing so consists of the hope that maybe someone with lots of money looking to commission health-related interiors will remember that one time there was a glossy airport hospital rendering on designboom and hire them. 

Enough, already. 

Frankly, after an endless barrage of cyberpunk mask designs, social distancing burger king crowns, foot-triggered crosswalk beg buttons that completely ignore accessibility concerns such as those of wheelchair users, cutesy “stay home uwu” projects from well-to-do art celebrities (who are certainly not suffering too greatly from the economic ramifications of this pandemic), I, like the reader featured in the Dezeen Tweet at the beginning of this post, have simply had enough of this bullshit. 

What’s most astounding to me about all of this (but especially about #brand crap like the burger king crowns) is that it is taken completely seriously by design establishments that, despite being under the purview of PR firms, should frankly know better. I’m sure that Bjarke Ingels and Burger King aren’t nearly as affected by the pandemic as those who have lost money, jobs, stability, homes, and even their lives at the hands of COVID-19 and the criminally inept national and international response to it. On the other hand, I’m sure that architects and designers are hard up for cash at a time when nobody is building and buying anything, and, as a result, many see resulting to PR-chitecture as one of the only solutions to financial problems. 

However, I’m also extremely sure that there are interventions that can be made at the social, political, and organizational level, such as campaigning for paid sick leave, organizing against layoffs and for decent severance or an expansion of public assistance, or generally fighting the rapidly accelerating encroachment of work into all aspects of everyday life – that would bring much more good and, dare I say, progress into the world than a cardboard desk captioned with the hashtag #StaytheF***Home. 

Hence, I’ve spent most of my Saturday penning this article on my blog, McMansion Hell. I’ve chosen to run this here because I myself have lost work as a freelance writer, and the gutting of publications down to a handful of editors means that, were I to publish this story on another platform, it would have resulted in at least a few more weeks worth of inflatable, wearable, plexiglass-laden Coronagrifting, something my sanity simply can no longer withstand. 

So please, Dezeen, designboom, others – I love that you keep daily tabs on what architects and designers are up to, a resource myself and other critics and design writers find invaluable – however, I am begging, begging you to start having some discretion with regards to the proposals submitted to you as “news” or “solutions” by brands and firms, and the cynical, ulterior motives behind them. If you’re looking for a guide on how to screen such content, please scroll up to the beginning of this page. 

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If you enjoyed this article, please consider subscribing to my Patreon, as I didn’t get paid to write it.  

[jonthethinker]

After a long day of truly cursed thoughts, I’ve come to the determination that the Cerberus Assembly can act as a sort of Exandrian analog of our world’s Silicon Valley, and I hate it. I hate hate hate it.

The more I think about it, the more it just sort of melds into my mind as fact. I can’t escape it. This is where I live now.

You’ve got this collection of self-proclaimed super geniuses, unbounded by modern social mores and determined to invent a new sort of ethics, with an intent on shaping history and sagely guiding the world into a better future. This is despite the fact that most of the ideas they have inevitably end up making the world worse, and the only thing “new” that they really bring into the world is a bunch of actually very old ideas coated in fresh circuitry/magic.

But let’s dig a little deeper and start getting specific.

They both have these images of fiercely independent, creative bodies desperate to remain free from government control, and sometimes even as a check on that very government. The heads of the Cerberus Assembly outright say their intent is to act as a check on the Crown, and are known to have many secrets the Crown is, to their knowledge, totally unaware of.

Tech companies, particularly in America, have this outward facing very libertarian outlook on things, saying they don’t wish to interfere in the very important process of democracy and free speech, while simultaneously feeling it is their responsibility to fact check those in power and hold them to account, with their “serious vetting” of political ads and the like on their platforms. They also lobby heavily against any and all regulation of their various products and services, preferring to let the “invisible hand” of the market provide the service of keeping them in check, much as the Cerberus Assembly prefers to handle its own problems internally.

But when you really dig into the details this is all bullshit. The Cerberus Assembly, for all intents and purposes, IS the Empire. They run the secret police, for goodness sake. The two are so interconnected, and the Assembly as an institution is so dependent on the infrastructure and manpower, and of course money (because the fancy clothes, giant towers, and expensive sets of material components don’t pay for themselves) of the Empire to accomplish its goals, it can’t serve as a real check on Imperial forces possibly “overstepping”, and it also has no material interest in doing so; the more power and control the Empire has, the more power and control the Assembly has; the less freedom the citizens have due to authoritarian “safety” measures implemented by the Crown, the safer the Assembly itself becomes to pursue it’s morally dubious work and experimentation.

The same goes with Silicon Valley and the various tech companies that fall under its ethos. They will expound continually on the necessary freedom from government control they must have to truly change the world in the ways they think are best, but the primary source of money for most of these companies are governments. They either primarily contract with governments for most of their actual profits or to use its already established infrastructure, as is the case with Amazon, or depend heavily on publicly funded research for their innovations, which is everyone from Apple to Google to Microsoft and dozens and dozens of smaller companies besides. They then even get to patent these publicly funded innovations and hold a monopolized stranglehold on their use. This is not even to mention the starter capital necessary to form many of these companies in the first place itself was provided by governments, with the rather, shall we say “morally questionable” Kingdom of Saudi Arabia being among the top contributors to such start ups.

Even when either of these groups claim to be self-made, it’s all bullshit. So many of our famous tech overlords that supposedly built themselves from nothing started at the upper reaches of society, with more than enough capital and connections to insure they were never at any real risk of failing in the first place. Most even went to the same elite institutions of learning that provide the vast majority of the political leadership of the United States, institutions they had access to due to their wealth and familial connections, not their brains. Elon Musk’s family owned an emerald mine in Zambia for God’s sake, one his family would have never owned without the British Empire being a thing.

The same can be said for the Assembly. The upper classes of the Dwendalian Empire are lousy with mages and magic users. If they don’t have a place to climb among the nobility, they work for the Assembly, and hope to climb there. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that the only poorer mage recruits we know anything real about all were sucked up into the service of the Scourgers, one of the few arms of the Assembly known to regularly interact with societies lower reaches and not so positively at that, and had their familial identities obliterated in the process. Both of these groups are of the upper reaches of society and serve the upper reaches of society, and we should never think anything less.

And this brings us to the ideological framework both of these groups think with. They are both full to the brim with people who are individualists to the extreme. They all believe they are singular actors in the great tapestry of history, who got where they are by hard work and dedication, and anyone who isn’t there just didn’t do enough. The folks living in the tent city outside Zadash? lazy layabouts who simply have not applied their mind to be something greater, or perhaps their veins are just full of bad blood. Poor former factory workers in Detroit whose jobs have been moved to places where labor laws are weaker and wages are lower? If they’d only taken their education more seriously, they could be where I am! Or maybe they just never tried to be an Uber driver or delivering for Grubhub, because that’s how you really pull yourself out of poverty.

Meanwhile, most of the groups consist of people who have never once known real adversity and certainly not the hardship of poverty nor the lack of social and political power that position entails. They are blinded to the reality of most people in the world outside their rather small one, and thus have no understanding of the material hardship that most people experience during their everyday life.

You see this most clearer in the manner in which they try to solve what they see as societies great problems, with no clear thought put into the consequences of these particular solutions. In our world, this is particularly obvious. Uber is painted as an innovative means of transportation on a budget, when in reality it’s just a fleet of untrained, underpaid, non-unionized taxi drivers using their own personal vehicles at their own expense. Elon Musk is seen as this super genius when his solution to LA traffic wasn’t a more robust public transportation system or slowly reconstructing the city to be more pedestrian friendly, but instead to build a massive network of single car elevators under the city to zip cars to key hot spots faster in a manner people less anxious than me would still call risky at best. I mean most of these people think the key to ending poverty is teaching people to code or giving them STEM education, even when in a capitalist economy the only thing a sudden flooding of new coders and STEM educated folks would insure is that the jobs that require those skills will see a sudden massive drop in pay and benefits as the pool of prospective employees becomes over-saturated and individual workers no longer have any bargaining power to protect their once rare jobs. You already see this in animation and video game design, and you’ll certainly see it elsewhere.

For the Assembly, despite being praised as the brightest arcane minds of Wildmount, seem to get most of their ideas either by stealing them from others or digging them up out of the ground. But this is just the nature of empire; it’s always easier for an empire to consume than it is to create. So as little as they think of the Dynasty, they are eager to steal every little bit of knowledge they’ve discovered about Dunamis, and without the faith and moral sense the Luxon-based religion imposes, they will never be forced to put the use of this rare and dangerous magic into perspective. Imagine what harm they can cause with gravity and time magic when they don’t have that religious pressure to consider the value of life and choice. But this makes sense when their main sources of inspiration are the wizards of the Age Of Arcana; you know, the wizards whose hubris nearly destroyed the entire world and spurred an apocalyptic war that sent society into a dark age in which the gods themselves abandoned them? A+ inspiration material if you ask me.

Even the culture of these two groups in regards to how they regulate themselves is so eerily similar. Think of Delilah Briarwood. Member in good standing of the Cerberus Assembly. Also, worshipper of Vecna and talented necromancer. Only expelled from the Assembly after involvement from the Cobalt Soul, even when you know every other member of the Assembly almost certainly had loads of information on this lady.

It just makes me think of all the weird, right-wingers and Nazis who occasionally get expelled from the heights of Silicon Valley whenever some journalist exposes them, and how quickly their colleagues are to condemn them even when so many of them either knew this person was this way well before they were exposed or actively agreed with them and still do. I mean, think of how protected Bill Gates is, because of how much his philanthropist image has served to insulate and protect the gross consolidation of wealth and power in the hands of so few, even when his fortune was built on stolen ideas, military funding and research, and a hardcore software monopoly for well over a decade or two. Also, his philanthropy has done nothing to help African people build their own institutions of power independent of European and American influence, and have help distract us from the damage really caused to the entire continent by earlier colonialism and later capitalist imperialism.

This is to say as bad as our world is, I now definitely don’t want to live in Wildemount. I don’t want to live a world where Mark Zukerberg can cast Disintegrate. Not ideal. I guess I’ll just have to work that much harder to fix this one and not depend on learning Dunamancy to just put us on a different path. Bummer.

[casualcatte]

[LFRP] FFXIV: Gospel Lightfaith

Age: Adult (late 30′s approx.)

Race: Hyur, Midlander - Ul’dahnian

Gender: Female

Hair: Silver

Eyes: Blue

Height: 5′9″

Build: Fit and well-muscled but not bulky.

Common Accessories: She keeps a rosary-like set of prayer beads on her person, though never worn. A silver sigil of Thaliak is attached to them.

Server: Balmung

Profession: Free Paladin, Mercenary-for-Hire

Hobbies & Interests: Dancing, helping others, reading, writing, painting, art, music

Residence: The Mist, Ward 23, The Topmast, Room 50

Birthplace: Ul’dah, Thanalan, Eorzea

Religion: Thaliak, the Scholar

Fears: Higher Voidsent, abandonment (by those she cares about), failure (in a number of things)

Smoking Habit: Never. She keeps her body in peak physical condition.

Drugs:  A few times in her youth, but after a few bad experiences she hasn’t bothered with them since.

Alcohol:  Yes. A nightcap to relax after a hard day’s work.  Or sometimes excessively when stressed or in pain.

Food: She can cook fair, basic meals, but nothing extravagantly gourmet. Humble, simple food like what she grew up with as a merchant’s daughter.

Status:  Single

Sexuality: Demiromantic, Heterosexual Do not expect to get involved with my character without significant investment.  No one night stands, no love at first sight. 

Spouse: None.

Children: None.

Parents: Elspeth and Alexander Lightfaith

Siblings: None that she is aware of.

Other Relatives/Close Friends: Valeria Camena  @thehouseofvs​ 

Enemies/Rivals Zerey Zeyad @therpperson​

Animal Companions: Venator, her gryphon mount.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Honest / In Between / Dishonest

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

You need something killed. Gospel is a mercenary-for-hire, though typically to common smallfolk and tradesmen primarily. She has an extremely moralistic code that doesn’t allow her perform duties that she finds morally repugnant, like harming the innocent.  Expect questions.

You need protection. Her shield is also for hire, if you find yourself in need of one. Again, she prefers to work with lower class citizens, but isn’t above working for the occasional noble or entertainer. 

You are an Ul’dahnian merchant. Gospel’s family are a generational line of armor and weaponsmiths, primarily focused on metalworking. Merchant-folk are welcome to have heard of Lightfaith Arms & Armory either directly or in a tertiary sense. They’re known for swords and plate armor, as well as household common items like pots, pans, and wagon wheels. Their Maker’s Mark is a radiant sun stamped in gold foil on their items.

You are an Ul’dahnian resident. Gospel worked for a number of years for her family’s smithy, mostly as their Public Relations / Advertising / Salesperson. Residents of Ul’dah are welcome to know her directly or in passing as a woman often seen about town trying to tempt adventurers and common folk into buying their wares.  She also later became known for her mercenary-for-hire and protection services.

You are/were a member of the Maelstrom. A former captain of the Maelstrom, Gospel earned her notoriety as a bulwark against the tides of battle, oftentimes defending and protecting wounded soldiers as they waited for evacuation from the field. A friend to mages and healers, she was especially protective of them in battle. After her retirement and return to Ul’dah, members of her regiment often spun tall tales of her exploits in the tavern.  The Knight of the Lily is a name often bandied about in such cases.

Friends, acquaintances, and adventuring buddies, age 21+. Nothing against younger players, I’m just a 40-year old lady and enjoy playing the game with other like-minded adults.

People who like growing things organically, particularly relationships. I don’t like making things up out of thin air and I don’t like  friendships and romances that flourish overnight. Put time and effort into creating things!

In-game RP sessions, primarily!  (Discord available for OOC coordination.)  I’ve had pretty bad luck with keeping Discord threads and the like active, so I prefer in-game sessions whenever possible. Not to say those methods are completely off the table, but reserved for folks who are genuinely interested in upkeeping and maintaining them.

Lore flexibility. I’m not as well-versed in FFXIV lore and I don’t need/want people around me who want to hammer the Nth of the lore and make roleplay feel more like homework. As long as it’s a good story and an engaging character, that should be enough!

Story and Character-driven Plotlines.  I love a good epic story.  I love long-term connections, be it friendship or rivalry. Slice-of-life and general hanging out is fine on occasion, but I truly thrive in a story-driven environment.

Late Night/Overnight Friends. I tend to keep late hours, so people who are around/available between 8pm and 8am (Central US Time) are ideal.

People who aren’t afraid of OOC communication.  Seriously, this is a big one.  If you can’t talk to me OOC about a session, what you like, don’t like, or have issues with then please don’t seek me out.  I view roleplay as collaborative storytelling that we should all have fun with and a large part of that is talking things through OOC to ensure we’re all on the same page and having fun.

IC/OOC Blending. If you’re a person that can’t keep your IC and OOC separate, don’t seek me out.  I am not my character.  My character is not me.  Whatever interactions you have with my character are not a reflection of my views/personality as the Player.  Do not conflate them.

ERP, gore, extreme violence, torture, horror, et cetera. I have a pretty stressful life, I RP and play games to relax and these topics don’t contribute to that. At the very least, please ASK me before starting anything involving these themes.

These first two, especially, are deal breakers and I will cease contact with people that can’t respect these boundaries (which is why OOC communication is a MUST with me.) If you aren’t sure – please ASK!

Most roll-based system RP.  I’m a big fan of D&D-style systems, if they incorporate character sheets that allow Characters to have aspects to them that shine and fail.  Being subject to random RNG without attributing bonuses for character skill and experience feels imbalance to me.  (And RNG generally hates me, so... XD)

Mundane-focused RP.  Slice of life, hanging out, and less-active scenes are fine, but only in moderation. If that’s all you care to do, Gospel and I are probably not a good fit, because we both are adventuresome souls that like getting involved in things!  

Experienced Roleplayer.  I’ve been roleplaying for almost 30 years now. I love discussing roleplay ideas and implementing them. I’m not worried about “spoilers” or ruining immersion by discussing and planning storylines OOC. Planning ensures that everyone has a chance to contribute ideas that are fun for *them* so everyone has a good experience.

Patient and Understanding. I tend to be patient with people of all roleplay styles and experiences. Just be courteous if you need to AFK mid-RP for an extended period or reschedule the scene. I understand well that Real Life and your own well-being come first, so just be up-front with me about things. 

Special Information.   I am a 40+ year old woman with severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. This means I may need to cancel plans last-minute depending on my pain levels/fatigue or I may need to leave mid-scene. This is NOT an indicator of interest – or lack thereof – I have a disease that needs careful tending and I have to listen to the needs of my body before anything else.

Availability/Contact Information –––

Timezone: GMT/UTC -5 or Central (US) Time. I’m mostly avaliable from 8pm to 8am, Sunday through Tuesday. Beyond that, my schedule gets pretty unpredictable, but I’ll do my best to let you know ahead of time if I have any conflicts and what my availability is.

Discord: casualcatte#1384

In-Game:  Gospel Lightfaith@Balmung

Last Updated: May 1, 2021

[chaotically-cas]

29 Things I Think Allistic People Need To Hear

From an autistic person

Not my usual content but I felt it needed to be said.

Saying “everyone is a little autistic” is really hurtful. Yes, everyone has their struggles but these struggles are far different for autistic people. Saying everyone experiences it is invalidating & harmful.

Being graded on eye contact & standing still is wrong. I’m pretty sure at one point or another we’ve had a project we were graded on & one of the grades was eye contact & not fidgeting. These things are extremely hard for autistic people & they are practically second nature. It’s like holding in a sneeze.

Stim & figget toys in schools. Of course fidget spinner’s & stim cubes can be bought & should be bought by anyone. If you want one, get one. But the way schools are banning them is crazy. They are very necessary for autistic people & it’s so much harder for them when schools ban their use.

QUITTTTT BABYING US!! We aren’t ‘uwu babies’. We are humans. We are perfectly capable of functioning without allistic people’s pity & looking down on us. We are our own people that don’t need a hand to hold in every damn situation. We aren’t cute because of it. 

Listen to autistic people. Everyone is all for advocating for people until that group of people want to advocate for themselves. So shut up & listen once & maybe you can learn something you didn’t know.

Creative writing in class is difficult. You don’t know how many bad grades I’ve gotten on because I can’t think of a good story out of my ass. It’s extremely hard for autistic people. Please give us a prompt it’s more helpful than you know.

Role playing in class. I think we’ve all had to do something where we research a famous person & have to assume their identity. This is again, so hard for autistic people. It’s hard enough for us to be ourselves. Most of us can’t understand these actives enough.

Slurs. Quit saying retard. It’s not an insult. It’s not funny. It’s offensive & every time you use it you’re hurting a disabled person & spreading harmful stereotypes. It’s not just a word. It’s not just a bad word. It’s a slur. Same as the f word or any other slur. Don’t use it.

People talking over us. No I dont mean just in conversations. Although that is another issue. I mean organizations like autism speaks that put words into autistic peoples mouths instead of letting them speak for themselves.

Stop making fun of our special interests. Whether you find anime cringey or think an adult loving Aladdin is childish just stop it. These things being extreme joy to us. They make us happy in a word that we don’t understand. So just leave us alone & let us be happy.

Don’t stare at us if we’re stimming. Especially in public. If you see me flapping my hands. Don’t stare. If you hear me humming quietly, don’t judge. These activities aren’t for your viewing pleasure. They’re for autistic people to regulate & express how they’re feeling.

Normalizing ableism. It’s so normalized. Whether it’s phrased like “suffers from autism” or how regularly ‘retard’ is used in classe; ableism is so often over looked especially by adults. There are no many micro aggressions they are just passed off as us not having a thick enough skin. When in reality it’s really damaging.

People first language. If you ever correct someone by saying “no, they’re a PERSON with autism. Not an autistic person”. Literally shut up. We’re autistic. We’re people. Being autistic doesn’t make us any less human so you don’t need to make it seem like it does. We’re still human no matter our disably. People don’t have to be reminded of this.

Using words like psychopath & sociopath. Calling autistic people these things just because you don’t understand us is disgusting. If you don’t understand these terms don’t use them. Just because we aren’t good at showing empathy in some cases doesn’t make us ‘psychopaths’.

Tone indicators. This is both the over use & not using them that’s an issue. Saying things like “/j /hj /sarcasm /srs /lh” all in one post defeats the whole damn purpose of them. & not using any at all especially when joking around or using sarcasm can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. It’s not that hard to use one or two at the end of a post. /srs

Picky eating. Literally stop making fun of autistic people for not liking a lot of foods or ordering the same thing at every restaurant. A lot of textures & flavors are very bothersome to autistic people. They can cause overstimulation or even panic. Just let us be. So I eat mac & cheese 4 times a week. I didn’t know it effected you so much.

“Ugh you’re so annoying you can’t ever get a joke”. No hearing that is what’s annoying. Tones are hard for us to understand so while most people pick up on it autistic people are more likely to read too much into it or take it seriously. It’s simple to use tone indicators in text or even to say “I’m joking”. It won’t make your joke less funny. It’ll just help us understand more.

Be specific if you want things from us. Don’t just say “hey I need a pencil”. Or “the dishwasher needs put away”. Most likely we’ll just be like, yeah, ok, and? Be specific please. Say things like “can I borrow a pencil?” or “can you undo the dishwasher?”.

Faces seeming to look weird. A lot of us having facial stims that can alter our faces. Whether it’s excessive blinking, eyebrow raising, or face scrunches. Don’t ask us what’s wrong with our face or what we are doing. For me, because of my facial stims & tics my eyes/eyebrows are permanently uneven. Don’t bring it up.

Classroom behavior charts are horrible. Autistic people don’t behave the same as allistic people. Simple as that. What they see as ok behavior, others don’t. & some times they don’t realize these behaviors will get them in trouble.

Police brutality. Especially in black or brown autistic people. It’s so common that people call the police on autistic people stimming in public because they are seen as dangerous. & when these autistic people can’t understand what’s going on or can’t make eye contact they are labeled as more suspicious. Especially black autistic people. Just look at Elijah McLean.

Feeling dumb. Especially in schools or other scholarly conversations. Some autistic people aren’t able to keep up or fully understand everything that’s being said or presented. Which leads to us feeling dumb. Give us time to process or aso questions please.

Feeling robotic. You’ve most likely heard autistic people being compared to robots at one point or another. Whether that’s for the impaired ability to establish empathy or something else it’s an extremely negative & hurtful stereotype. Especially in media.

Saying ‘I forgot’ is a valid excuse. There is so much going on in our heads. So much to process & remember. We forget things. Everyone forgets things. Especially autistic people. Please don’t yell at us for always forgetting to do the dishes. It’s not like we chose to forget.

The harmful effects of the vaccines cause autism jokes. Aside from the whole anti vaxers debate, perpetually the idea that we shouldn’t be vaccinated because it causes autism is disgusting. It’s treating autism like a disease. Like the person who has it isn’t worthy. Or that autism is so chronic it will ruin everything. It’s like people avoiding cheese burgers because it’s rumored they make you ginger. It’s preposterous. 

Yelling at autistic people for struggling to want to learn new concepts/concepts at all. This not only goes for in school but in just normal conversation. It’s hard for autistic people to grasp things they don’t have an interest in learning. So please don’t yell at us for not understanding everything about a band that we don’t care about, we would if we could. It might not seem like a big issue but it happens more than you’d think.

Intrusive thoughts. (Tw: rape mention & violence) Most of the time autistic people experience extreme spells of intrusive thoughts “omg he’s going to rape you image him raping you” or “stab yourself in the side right now” or much worse. & when autistic (and other) people try to talk about it they are labeled crazy or insane. It’s a normal occurrence to have these kinds of thoughts. We don’t want to. But they happen. That’s why they’re called intrusive.

Executive disfunction. This is basically when autistic people are views as lazy but we physically & mentally just can’t. Where tasks as seemingly simple as going to get a glass of water feels like a mountain to autistic people. It’s not that we are lazy. We physically & mentally can’t work up to it.

Class rank & graduation requirements are unfair. Autistic people socialize differently. It’s just a fact. Our brains work differently in classes & outside of it. We could be working our asses off to understand our English class book, but we get an F. Not to mention how most schools require community service hours to graduate. Yes community service is good but it can be very hard for autistic people.

Please feel free to add on but a lot of these are drawn from personal frustrations. Please listen to autistic & other disabled people more. All these also applies to those with ADHD/ADD or any other mental illness where the situations apply. You’re all valid & amazing.

I love you all. 💕

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Any tips for an aspiring social worker

+Be aware of any of your own trauma. Dont be one of the people who think they can do therapy AND get a degree at the same time. You will burn out, there are hundreds every year. Please dont be the person in lectures who takes yup 45 minutes crying over past trauma every session; you need to seek counselling for that from a professional who can help, not from your newbie classmates.

You may think its an exaggeration, but No. Unfortunately, no.

This ties in to your own biases, what you are likely to take to heart if the person fails, etc. You need to work with your supervisor around clients that may trigger something for you; or reconsider the role you are aiming for, etc.

+Have personal skills, you will be making and repairing relationships often. You can’t be someone who is super introverted and unable to start relationships with the clients; because often you are going to be the one doing the Hard Talks about difficult subjects. It doesnt mean you have to be a drill sargeant, but it means you need to have the confidence to talk with anyone.

If you’re a bit shy, work on talking to people and even looking into little courses. You’re not needing qualifications in public speaking, but you do need to have yourself in a position wherein you can talk to someone, even a whole family, or even lawyers, and police. Via phone, video, face-to-face, etc.

+Have work clothes and home clothes. Also court clothes, if you work in areas that need it.

Wear smart casual, you need to look presentable but not be like, dripping with diamonds and playing ‘rich person ministers to the Poors’. It happens, they get told off.

DO NOT WEAR SKIN TIGHT CLOTHES. Or ripped skinny jeans, or have your cleavage/buttcrack hanging out. Please. Strapless backs and short shorts also no.

Students sometimes turn up in this and it is dangerous. Especially the ladies. Sometimes you work with people who are very dangerous, who will interpret clothing for consent, and/or have incredibly low respect for women. When something happens, they will point to the workplace dresscode and absolve themselves of the situation.

Do not wear dangly earrings, scarves or thick necklaces/anything you do not want taken. And if in a hospital role, there are additional rules about what can and cannot be worn (bare below the elbow rule).

Also, enclosed shoes. IF you are in a service that assists families with dysregulated lives, or in the hospitals, etc, you will have strict policies about footwear for your safety.

+Get the flu shot. Trust me. Do it. You talk to so many people, by the time one catches a cold and you start showing symptoms, you’ve seen like twenty people and they all have families.

+Be used to working to tight deadlines. They are always there, esp in hospital social work where you legit have to account for every minute of the day and patient seen on this awful little system.

We are understaffed in most areas, and you will need to work hard.

BUT, self-care is imperative. Even if it is only making sure you leave before 9pm each night lmao.

+Be able to let insults go. You are going to be dealing with people often in the worst part of their life, be it mental health, in the justice system, having their kids removed, being disabled and persistently denied assistance, having significant alcohol/drug concerns, people who have experience extreme sexual harms or domestic violence, people who are being stalked, people in crisis etc.

At some point someone will call you some horrific things, or threaten you, or make nasty comments about you, etc. They may try to make constant complaints, etc. And as frustrating as that is, you have to understand their frustration and anger and fear.

You do not have to sit there and listen to them swear at you, that’s not what this means. It means that when someone is heightened and calling you a cunt, or something more inventive, you don’t give them the reaction they want; you can acknolwedge that they are upset/etc, or give them space by ending the call/leaving the room.

Think about when something happened for you and it was the Worst and you swore or threatened, etc. When you are calm, it seemed ridiculous, didn’t it?  But that was you processing big, complicated feelings in the only way that felt right at the time. Same for them.

+You need to be aware that some clients have done or experienced terrible things, but you need to be open to the individual within the trauma. For example, someone may not be showing their emotional distress or pain or grief etc in the way you think they should, so you might discount it. When, someone who has gotten to know the client is aware that they tend to do ____ behaviour when they are having flashbacks, which is not a behaviour normally associated with the trauma.

Also, biases again.  Just because someone is on drugs and denying to you that they have a problem, does not mean some part of them isn’t aware they do have one. Relapses are common. Soemtimes it is about discussing what was happening for them this week that made them use again, what they could try next time, if they are using their support networks. And never putting them in the Hopeless box.

If you are really struggling with a client, lean on your team, talk to your supervisor and see what else can be done or if there is another social worker with more experience who can be involved even for a short-term intervention.

+Don’t throw jargon and insider terms around when talking to clients, it’s rude.  Explain things, use pauses so they can think.

+Look into the primary populations of your area/the area you intend to work in. Are there a high level of Indigenous persons? Refugees? People whose first language isn’t english and may need extra help with engagment?

What are your immediate thoughts (learned stigmata/stereotypes) about these peoples? How can you learn more?

In Aus, we work closely with Indigenous communities and agencies around social work matters. Making sure everyone is supported, heard, and can understand the concerns being raised/what is needed to help the client move forwards. There are many people out there who see this as ‘coddling’ or ‘unfair to non-Indigenous people’; but it is simply making certain that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are on the same footing as any non-Indigenous client.

And that cultural options are put on the table, such as having a family member step up to take in a child whilst the parent is not well; or trying a community-focused approach to helping with a drug concern, and using the right agencies so that they have appropriate supports.

Would it be fair to have a non-english speaking client in a courtroom without an interpreter? Why?  Would you claim that they should know english and the entire legal system bc they were in your country? Of course not, that’s absurd.  But some people think that way.

Would it be fair to ask someone in a wheelchair to file a form on the top floor of a building with no elevators, by 5pm, or lose their home? Why? Would you think they are complaining or ‘lying’ if they were able to mobilise a few steps without the chair, on a good day? That they were being ‘lazy’ and ‘deserved’ to lose their housing? Of course not, that’s absurd.  But some people think that way.

When the military put men into service in the wars, they made anyone who could pass an english test an officer and the rest priovates who would die first in battle. Was this fair? Why not? Because it ensured the rich white dudes with private tutors got the best spots (totally unqualified) while the poor, poc and refugees were used as cannon fodder. Many could have been good officers if the test was about competence, but it wasn’t. Some people feel this was fair.

There are still people who think they ‘did the right thing’ whilst participating in the Stolen Generations; but then, they also thought taking babies from single mothers was appropriate too. That women couldn’t vote or be trusted with money, that is was ‘kinder’ to take a stillborn away and dispose of it without the mother ever seeing... rather than let her hold them, and say goodbye the way she needed to. Not to mention the english children shipped over to Aus to be used as little slaves and cruelly abused by Priests and Nuns and ‘upright christian citizens’. Not to mention lobotomies for when people were too emotional/refusing to play the game. Forcing hormone treatments on men and women to stop their homosexuality or sexually abusing them to ‘fix them’. Not to mention all the Twilight births nonsense where they tried to remove the pregnant person from the equation entirely, and it kept causing post partum depression.  Not to mention... Not to Mention... NOT TO MENTION...

We have a lot of broken little old men and women and nonbinary (who do or don’t realise it) now, because of these “helpful interventions”.

You need to be aware of the harm that has been done, and aware of your own practice, so this damage can’t happen again and again.

Understand that your perspective and the worries/concerns you hold are often different to those of the client, because you are individuals who grew up in very different ways.

And remember, being a rich white person in a high paying job with good social standing doesn’t mean you can’t be charged for drug possession or have child safety knock on your door about the bruises you leave. Never think people are Above being awful, and never Assume people are because they are poor, a different colour, have not had your advantages, or have a disability/poor mh or addiction.

Clients are people, like you. Never think that you are above needing help too, one day. We all do, humans are built to rely on the group, on the social bonds we make from the minute we are born.

+Do you overreact to things? Sometimes a client will tell you about something that happened years ago, but they may phrase it like it happened yesterday (because of how it has returned to their mind, etc), and if you were to overreact to that immediately it can break the relationship/cause harm. You could say, “I can hear that this is very distressing for you, thank you for telling me about this difficult event in your life. Would it be alright if I asked you a follow-up question about when this occurred?” Sometimes a client will disclose things to you, and the goal is to remain in the conversation. They do a lot of this preparation at university, but you also need to have a personal ability to not panic off the bat.

+Ask yourself, is there anyone I would refuse to work with... and then examine Why. How would you react if a person like that came onto your caseload?

+Do not become overly emotionally invested in a client. It will be said in training over and over again, but you need to have clear boundaries; and being too invested in their success can hinder your ability to provide appropriate assessments for the client. Meaning they are not getting the care they need; which can sometimes be a harsh conversation about how you can see they are trying, but have backslid recently, so what is happening?

+Look at any internal biases and prejudices you may have. Did you have extreme mental health concerns that may make you feel more sympathetic to a parent or client, and this could blind you to the other concerns present? Didyou grow up rich and now have unrealistic expectations of what is necessary to be a good person? Do you think that all ‘those people’ should ______ ? Why?  Question yourself. If you find yourself stereotyping or pigeonholing someone as ‘just another ____ trying to _____’ stop. Think about it. Where did you get that idea?

+Be aware of professional boundaries, do not be friends with the clients, but don’t be cold. Always let your bosses know about potential conflicts of interest to protect you.

Like, don’t loan the client $5, don’t hang out at the cinema because they’re ‘a great person’, etc.

And be aware that you have more power in this dynamic, so you have to be careful not to abuse it.

+You need to be good at record keeping, and honest.  Everything you do is documents, referrals, reports, affidavits, forms, and a million little notes for this and that. It is imperative you are accurate, use the format required, and be honest. If you saying “Have you tried not taking drugs?” to a client sends them into a rage, you don’t write “Client was heightened and threatened me without reason at today’s session” in the notes. That’s putting a knife in their back.

”Client was triggered when I, the practitioner, made an inappropriate remark (”Have you tried not taking drugs?”) today. They told me I am a “fucking whore who should kill myself” and threw their chair across the room before leaving the building. I have discussed this matter with my supervisor, and we are going to call Client at 3pm today, to provide a formal apology for this statment and attempt to repair the professional working relationship, as they have been making significant progress with this agency until today’s event.” Whole scenario, tells the real story. You will make mistakes, but it is about being able to accept this and move forwards.

Accurate documentation is a must, may be needed for court.

+You will need to have a good memory. A good way of keeping little notes to unlock the full encounter when you write casenotes and reports.

+Make connections. Every client will need a support system around them, and if you have an inroads with different agencies, it will help them out. For example, if your client has drug concerns, then being aware of the agencies and counsellors in the region broadens their safety net.

Knowing the practitioners gives you someone to ask for professional advice around, say “Good Morning Kim, I know your agency handles Centrelink application often for non-english speaking clients. I have a client who is new to the country and is struggling to complete the financial aid forms, they speak Language. Would I be able to refer them to your agency, or will they need a more specific agency who handle Language -speaking persons?”

You have, in a deidentified way, sought help for a client through a known agency and can now refer them pending the answer. Etc.

+If you are not sure about something, ask your supervisor. They have several years on you, and almost all areas of social work prescribes to one or another Acts (legal requirements) which they are required to have a strong grasp on.

Get to know any legislation in the area you are aiming for. This will help immensely.

+Doing a degree gets you two fieldwork practicals, in different areas.  These really help you identify which area you want to go for; your main goal going into a degree may not be the one you settle on. Many people have an idea where they want to work and change their minds after their placements, or really feel connected to a different area, etc.

+Mostly, be certain this is what you want.

Have your own support network.

Be aware that you must uphold confidentiality, at all times. No posting to social media people, please...

Be aware that in small communities you are likely shopping at the same place as clients. Ask them how they want you to react when you see each other in public (eg. please don’t acknowledge me, or happy to give a wave) so they feel comfortable.

Don’t disclose personal information to a client.  There’s a difference between “Yes, I can see that you are having trouble with baby; I recall they get quite fussy at teething time, have you tried a cold biting ring?” and “My son, Chadley, is eight but when he was two he used to just keep biting the furniture and his poor teacher, Mrs Allyways! At least he’s grown out of it now, but I just know Bailey’s going into that phase soon, the dangers of having kids a few years apart!”

I know who your child had as a teacher, and now the school as well, esp if its a small town. I know you have two children, their names, and your last name so I could go get them from school if I wanted to. I know you work until 5pm, and someone could pick them up.

Etc.

Mostly, be a decent human being who does their best and doesn’t walk in thinking they’re better than everyone, and you can do okay. Have a good support network, use them, and seek help if you struggle.

Uni is drawn out and a bit boring, but you will get a lot from it (even if you only see it in hindsight).

[markantonys]

literally thank you for criticizing internet « fashion historians » these people BOIL MY BLOOD

SAME and i’m glad to do a public service hdjfg i once took a class about film/tv adaptations of ancient rome and on day 1 our prof was like “we’re not here just to point out historical inaccuracies, that tells us nothing. we’re here to think about WHY the creators made those changes and what their effects are” and ever since that class i’ve had absolutely no patience for the crowd who’s quick to cry HISTORICAL INACCURACY to show off how smart they are yet never attempts to go any deeper than that. don’t just tell me how it’s historically inaccurate, tell me why the creators made the change (i promise you 9 times out of 10 you’ll be able to think of an explanation other than laziness/ignorance, contrary to popular belief creators of historical fiction DO do research, and then they may choose to deviate from it in certain places for specific storytelling purposes) and tell me what the effect is. if you can’t come up with a solid answer for either of those, then guess what, the inaccuracy is a minor thing that doesn’t matter! and if you can come up with a solid answer and it turns out the effect is actually positive, then the inaccuracy is a good thing. for costumes specifically, sometimes it’s as simple as taking creative liberties in order to create costumes & hairstyles that are more aesthetically pleasing to a modern audience (historical inaccuracy hating crowd, you may want to watch shows where everybody looks like they only bathe once a year, but i for one, and i daresay the general audience too, certainly do not).

other times it can be much deeper. positive costuming example: hollywood often shows corsets as being painful when historically they weren’t (so people say, i’ve never studied it so idk). why is this inaccuracy made and what’s its effect? corset-induced discomfort scenes are often used in cinema as a shorthand way of showing how the expectations and beauty standards placed on women in the time period were very restrictive and oppressive (think of in pirates of the caribbean when elizabeth passes out from her corset at the same time as she’s being pressured into a marriage she doesn’t want). which in my opinion is a good and important thing to show, therefore i think this costuming inaccuracy is a good change.

negative costuming example: cleopatra is usually portrayed onscreen with stereotypically “egyptian” (and slutty) fashion despite the fact that historically she typically dressed in greek-style clothing (aside from special occasions such as egyptian religious ceremonies). why is this inaccuracy made and what’s its effect? it’s feeding into augustan propaganda that attempted to paint cleopatra as the enemy by making her the egyptian other in contrast to the roman self, and by continuing to perpetuate this idea (and often showing egyptianness as synonymous with excess, depravity, etc.), hollywood also perpetuates that same us vs. them mentality as well as a whole host of harmful orientalist ideas and stereotypes (hbo rome is the first example that comes to my mind, i did a whole project about it for my roman movie class, and also the portrayal of the persians in 300 is absolutely horrible for similar reasons)

[msobnoxious]

SO FRANK that it felt like you just got SPANKED!

“White lies means no harm no need to be alarmed,

Merely hinders the truth for the sweet innocent youth

They aim to protect with the thought of respect " by Ms. Obnoxious

Yeah right! Like sugar coating, ones’ painful truth will lessen the blow of a C4 bomb. Nope, It’ll only add up, and once it comes to light? Like a goddamn nuclear bomb aiming straight at your face. That’s reality - one that we all have to deal with. Yet it’s easier said than done. 

Have you ever had a problem where you thought of something and said another thing? Wishing in the end that you should have said what you had in your mind in the first place? Because then you could have avoided the catastrophe of a situation that had happened in the last couple of minutes all due to that little white lie you made? Well tough luck kid, because  I’m here to tell you that ain’t true at all. Why did you ask? Because I did the exact complete opposite of what you did and I sometimes I wish that for once my mouth is not connected to my brain - and when I say connected I mean every word that’s in my brain went out of my sweet little honest mouth to God’s mouth. Talk about #Nofreakingfilters!

If you wondering what I mean, Let me give you an example. There’s a 90% chance that the situation you’re currently in is either lying to your friends about how she looked, how her clothes or new haircut looked - which looked hideous by the way but you don’t have the heart to tell her as she looked so happy about it. Or that you lied to your parents about something and now you’re getting to pay for it - with getting grounded, no allowance for the month, no cellphone, no Xbox, or even no Mobile phones for the meantime. To tell you the truth, that isn’t so bad. This shit happens to everyone. Except me. 

I wish to say I lied to save someone from getting hurt. Nah, I instead told the truth straight up and boom! Utter silence in the whole room and the faces of my friends all that resembled a deer in front of the car headlights. Yep, that's what happened and all due to my mouth. You see, when you have a friend that you love with all your life, one that you consider as one of your Best friends for life - you always and I mean ‘always’ want the best for her right? Now, imagine that person breaking up with a guy who happens to be someone who thought of her as “The One”, who is loyal, caring, gives her all of his time and effort - with marriage in mind. Yes, I know for a fact as he had practically advertised to everyone his intention to do so. And she all but exchange it for someone who takes her for granted - she's rich with her brand new car before reaching the age of 23 and owns a restaurant, acts as he owns her - belittling her in public, disrespectful to her friends and family - don't even get me started on this, and most of all - one lazy guy who couldn’t find a decent job. All of us can see how happy and how in love she is. Everyone tried to get her to come to her senses but she’s just too far gone with her rose-colored glasses preached up her nose. And this is where the situation had started. It's getting REAL now girl! 

She asked all of us how we all think of her new boyfriend and proceed to tell us about all the good things about him. Even if we already know what kind of person he is like. Naturally, most of my friends - excluding me gave in and said words like "I'm happy you found love again Annie" or one who's fighting the nerves to tell  Annie her true thoughts would say "I didn't really like him but maybe he will change for you" - meanwhile I answered, "His nothing but trash An, doesn't deserve you and never will". Yep. Those words were progress by my brain for 2 seconds and came out my mouth the next split second. And so Hell broke loose! My frankness came like a spank, a slap to her face - which she is already aware of how I am, not that I'm defending myself mind you. Still, it doesn't change the fact that at that very moment, the only thing you can hear is the crickets in the background and the saucers like eyes from your friends as your frontal view. 

Nevertheless to say. I was then excluded from all her boyfriend problems - from the same guy, for the next few months after that. Which I understand nor was I too guilty of what I did because that's what I believed in, I wished I could have worded it better but then my feelings were evident on those words. I maybe frank and honest but I'm not forceful nor do I want anyone to follow my words against their own. Most people find my attitude overbearing and hard to cope but my friends treat me as the one who will never to you. Even with me excluding in the talk, it has only been about the guy, everything else has been the same which means that it was very clear where I stand in with Annie dating the guy - services my purpose I should say. 

Thus comes in the term Ms. Obnoxious - is what I am to the world. I accepted it, lived it, and breath in it. The term might sound negative but to the ones who know me? It translates into Ms. REAL AS F*CK! 

To continue with my story, Annie finally talked to me again when she finally got to removed that stupid rose-colored glasses she wore for that guy. Told me I was right and asked how to make it all go away - which is a problem now as she had already fallen for him way, way too hard. Mayday! Mayday! I Say! Bff Chick overboard! All Hands on deck girlfriends! Shit is about to get real here! But sadly to all my readers, this story will be for another day - or blog if so. 

And as what I have said from the start of this blog, white lies versus being truthfully honest? Doesn't matter. You sugar coat and it'll be you telling lies, you be honest and you'll come out cold-hearted - no matter how you try to ease your friend up before you tell her the truth it would still hurt. The important thing is that your reasons for saying a white lie or saying painful honest words - is for the best. Meaning you are not doing it for selfish reasons but rather for all the good reasons out there. Because good things come back to you 100% girl. Good karma exists in my book I tell you. It also helps that you have a circle of friends and family who knows you well enough to know why you did what you did. 

I'm not a professional blogger and I'm pretty sure there are tons of grammar mistakes people can find on this blog but I hope to practice to improve - I ask for patience. Mwah! Hope you all liked this blog and say tuned for the next adventure of my days.

[mitterstorm]

Dance For Me

Chapter 1

“Finally we are here today to seek and to receive comfort. We would be less than honest if we said that our hearts have not ached over this situation. We are not too proud to acknowledge-

You couldn’t take it anymore, just by standing here listening to that preach addressed his departure. Your knees feel weak and your eyes burn, but you refuse to make a scene, taking deep breaths while clenching your fists is helping you calm down.

Still, it’s not enough.

You want to scream again just as you did when you saw his body limp against yours, scratch your arms in attempts of making the pain and hurt go away. To drift your mind from these ugly feelings.

A sick way of coping indeed, teensy bit of self-harm ain't going to kill you. It helps you somehow, preventing yourself from breaking even further in a public place like the cemetery.

Finally, you regain control of yourself and shift back to the preacher. Unfortunately, he concluded, now you have to prepare for the worse.  

Henry, who is your most precious friend, is dead. His body was being carried away in the concealment of a coffin; he said his last farewell to you early in the morning when you ate breakfast with him, offering your company so he wouldn't feel alone, regain some strength by appreciation itself.

Something was up that morning; the old fart was more talkative than usual and flashed a smile here and there. You are at fault for not noticing from the start. You should have been more perceptive and observant; you are keen on people after all, especially when he gave you that look as if he was parting ways with you. He didn’t fight death, accepted it as embracing a hug from an old friend. That thought alone fills your head with doubt.

Was he even happy when he left?

 Did he feel satisfied with the life he lived?

 Were you enough?

 Fuck, you never would've imagined his passing will affect you this much.

<<You old geezer, why were you so kind to me? Why did we let ourselves get attached?>>

The time is near, you will eventually have to confront him with all of these people staring at you, but you need to be strong for sake. You are what’s left of his loved ones. Linda died long ago. They never had a chance to procreate and bring a new life, Joey went mad or something along those lines.

Just like the rest of the crew, and he didn’t make any friends while he was on service for the military. If he did, they were dead. He didn’t like to talk about it.

<<I tried to make you happy, make you feel at ease as you did for me>>

Yet he kept secrets from you, of course, you respected his wishes and didn’t pry any further.

However, it stung.

<<Now it’s not time to reminisce, there’s nothing to reminisce for me at the moment>>

They called your name to the front; you ran out of time. It’s your turn. Is your first time burying someone, yes, you have assisted other burials besides this one, but now you are who’s lost a loved one. Those past times were favors people close to you had asked a long time ago; they said it felt nice to have somebody there when someone else is missing in their lives. In other words, you were there as comfort. A shoulder they could use to cry and lean on.

Hesitant, you take away from the burier’s grasp his shovel and with a gulp. You start shoveling some dirt into the hole were Henry’s coffin lies.

<<Shit, I can’t stop trembling! Come on, stop being a pussy and get over with this!>>

Despite that, your body wouldn’t obey, it made you look clumsy. No matter how much you lied to yourself.

You are scared.

After burying Henry, your vision goes black.

Waking up tomorrow morning at home without a clue of how you got there made your mind fuzzy.

How fun.

You try to get up, but end up failing.

“Fuuuuuck! Why do I feel like absolute shit! Everything hurts!” These feel just like a hangover. Why does it feel like one? Did you go to a bar once Henry’s funeral ended? How much did you drink?

“Enough to blackout it appears,” You say under your breath. Of course, your dumb ass would go to a bar and get drunk to cope with the pain! An upcoming headache awaits you for being arbitrary, instead of showing apprehension towards the situation and mourn, as you should, your voice of reason zonked out. “I reek of booze. Agh, it stinks”.

No more addressing what happened yesterday; feeling like trash isn't doing you any good. Henry would have called you out on your bullshit.

"Stop whining like a whore and man up, chum! I'll buy you a drink. Later we can relax and cut you some slack, nothing a magsman like myself can't do".

“Ok boomer,” You said in a humdrum tone, at least it made you laugh internally. “lo and behold, this will be a shitty morning-err afternoon, it’s 1 PM, I thought it was too early to be awake”.

That means it’s time for brunch.

Must compel your stomach desires, eat a lot little of food. Therefore, you'll have to leave the bed, go downstairs where the kitchen is; you force yourself out of the comfiness that are your covers. So you walk out of the room barefoot towards the kitchen. You open the fridge faking interest with whatever is inside and close it, then repeat, only that this time you pay a little more of attention.

You grab the water pitcher and pour some in a glass, then look for oatmeal and toss three spoonfuls of it at the water, after that you chuck a spoonful of sugar and mix it. A simple drink full of roughage. It’ll suffice for now.

*Clink clink*

Metal hitting porcelain serves you as a white noise to rearrange your thoughts. Yesterday was hectic and had your mind high wire, you were thinking about the old man; how long have you two been friends? Five or six years more or less, you met each other by autumn at a hospital. On that occasion, you were merely an intern in the middle of their practice and had to change sheets, deliver meals, give them their meds and reassure they took them at the time the doctors had said. Like a nurse or carer (the difference it’s you possess more knowledge than one and can prescribe medication, it was also part of your duty as a trainee assisting the doctors with whatever you could). That’s how both of you came face to face with.

Mr. Stein was sick and injured. He needed to tend some wounds since they required special treatment. Battle scars, you didn’t know at the time, however, as days passed, you became close to him, he told you how he got them; the biggest can be found on his back.  

Unfortunately, a sharp pain arose, preventing you from wandering further in the past. You had forgotten about your headache, which it’s more noticeable now, you are sure there aren’t any pills left.

“I ain’t leaving being this crappy, besides I don’t feel like moving right now…” Your eyelids are heavy and keeping them open, it’s such a pain, so you shut ‘em in hopes of relaxing for a little bit. Leaning your back on the kitchen island while drinking your beverage, its coldness helping you somehow with the throb.

Once again, your mind wanders.

Thanks to it, you know where to find some ibuprofen.

“Are these the ones?” You asked while holding a box for him to see, squinting Henry finally recognized the packet.

“What’s it called again?” He questioned, rubbing his head to ease the ache a bit. His voice raspy because of a dry throat. His normal soft tone replaced by a croaky. He’s clearly suffering.  

“Ibuprofen.” You read aloud as you’ve been asked and turn back to look at him.

“Yup, that’s the one, lass. I know I’ve bothered you enough, but could you serve me a glass of water?”

“You old coot, not a bother at all. I’ll be back with your water in a jiffy”.

The pills are somewhere inside Henry’s studio. You can do that, going upstairs isn’t as demanding as buying them, cuz leaving home means changing clothes that look presentable and aren’t dirty. Henceforth, you don’t feel in the mood for seeing the outside.

“I should stop thinking of how lazy I am and look for those meds…” Talking to yourself it’s quite common, so you ain’t no stranger to these situations.

Therefore, you took a break from your bullshit and went upstairs where Henry Stein used to draw; he passed most of his time in there, secluded from the outside world, before military service, he worked at an animation studio owned by the man he once considered his best friend, Joey Drew was his name if your memory doesn’t fail you.

Your friend called him a bastard, never explained why only responded by saying: “He lost his mind.”

Nevertheless, Henry kept drawing cartoons, and sometimes, he would let you watch him sketch and answered your questions. He carried on with his old comics he left unfinished long ago. The same he had drawn back thirty years ago. The main characters are three little fellas: Bendy, Alice Angel, and Boris. Henry said they animated their adventures and later on, added side characters. The Butcher Gang, if you recall, also consists of a trio: Charley, Barley, and Edgar.

When Henry started storytelling, you felt like a kid back again, he could’ve marked your childhood just as the rest of animators who made those toons while you were a child. Oh, how you treasured these memories, you’ll never forget the time you spent together.

Evoking past times has helped to soothe your headache an itty-bitty, yet you still need to find the ibuprofen.

“Where could it be…” You asked to no one, hoping the walls may respond, even though it’ll never happen.

Seeking everywhere you soon turned the room upside down, papers on the floor resembling a carpet, art supplies rolling across the table (pencils, colors, pens, paintbrushes, blending stumps, etc.) and some books based on anatomy and animation were disorganized on their bookshelves. It all ended after you opened a drawer (this one didn’t need your touch, it was already a disorder) and found what you were looking for, and because of your rashness, more papers fell on the floor.

“Damn, what a mess…” You muttered under your breath a little irritated with yourself for being so careless while searching. You collected the papers and put them in order back again one by one, because of it you grew curious and read some of them, a letter grabbed your attention.

It was one of those fancy letters with a seal and all (what does it say? Seems of importance).

You don’t consider yourself nosy, just interested in its contents.

<<From Joey Drew? Huh, looks like your old buddy send you his salutations after all this time>>

Oh, you had no idea.

Henry knew about the letter, he already read it and did as they told him. The old studio where they used to make dreams come true transformed into a living hell.

‘DEAR HENRY

IT SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME AGO SINCE WE WORKED ON CARTOONS TOGETHER.

30 YEARS REALLY SLIPS AWAY, DOESN’T IT?

IF YOU ARE BACK IN TOWN, COME VISIT THE OLD WORKSHOP.

THERE’S SOMETHING I NEED TO SHOW YOU.

YOUR BEST PAL, JOEY DREW’.

You finished reading the letter.

*Snrk*

Well shit.

Did you just read a confession or a love letter? Why not both? You don’t know why, but it feels like one.

“Okay, let’s stop right there. I can’t make jokes on circumstances as these ones”.

What could be so urgent for Joey to write a letter after thirty years of silence?

Should you investigate?

<<The letter could’ve been sent years ago! Henry surely read it; otherwise, it wouldn’t be inside a drawer of his studio, though there’s a possibility he didn’t, I doubt it. He must have seen his friend has written message>>

Okay, sure. Let’s suppose he didn’t pay any mind to the damn thing, you can pretend, now the real issue it’s the location. Joey Drew Studios must be closed (or broken down into pieces, you didn’t know if they decided to demolish the whole building).

“Wake up ___! Face reality, you shouldn’t be fantasizing, this ain’t some silly story with you as a heroine…instead of wasting my time, I shall swallow that damn pill and take some zzz’s”.

You left Henry’s solace and went to bed once again after you swallowed the pill with some water. A dreamless sleep greeted you.

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bendy’s POV

“ん乇'丂 ムの刀乇”.

Even though he should be celebrating, the Inkarnate can’t seem to find any joy in his being, no emotion tried to overtake him. Why? He doesn’t feel anything. True, he may not possess all the emotions a human has, but anger, joy, sadness, and hysteria weren’t unbeknownst him. There’s no satisfaction nor sorrow towards his creator’s death, not even an ounce of regret. Ok no, he won’t sense any guilt for what happened to Henry, he deserved to die just as much as Joey, but he was grasping straws in here!

How’s it possible to not perceive the slightest of emotion within himself?

The Ink Demon was turning apathetic in regards to the subject; he didn’t have an answer as to why. One thing he’s sure of, his world turned dull no longer exciting as he thought.

It was as if the little dancing demon had opened his eyes for the first time, after all those years blinded by the dripping ink, before that, he only saw what his mind showed him. He finally realized how monochromatic his world truly is.

All is black and white for the demon’s eyes.

A wave of indifference invades his mind and his mind is fuzzy, he dissolves into his inky form and rests.

However, not for much.

“-aHahaHAhahaHahaHAhaha!”

Alice.

That bitch.

He despises her nearly as much as those liars, yet the little devil darling couldn’t give a damn about her right now. Let her laugh all she wants as the malady she’s. The Angel probably got the word, celebrating, unlike him.

Immersing himself even more inside the ink, he found…peace. He can work with that, serenity aids his jumbled thoughts; darkness envelopes him and swallows his body whole.

<<In the end…I feel empty. Is this how revenge it’s supposed to be like?>>

He can’t respond to that, how could he? He doesn’t even know what’s life supposed to feel like.

<<Their imagination cursed us all with life, they couldn’t take responsibility for their actions and show us how to drive through it>>

Back when he was the small little imp everybody loved, there were all kind of colors, unlike now. The studio felt warm in contrast to all the ink that surrounds it now.

The remains of those old days lurk inside the deep abyss as ink creatures, husks who replaced the humans that worked here.

Thinking about it got him tired, Bendy finds himself drifting from consciousness, he’s falling asleep.

“Was it worth it?”

<<Again that cunt>> Despite his thoughts, the Inkarnate didn’t feel irascible towards the narcissist woman. Actually, there isn’t much for him to perceive.

She’s not in here, she wouldn’t dare to step a foot on his domain. The wench had the nerve of placing her cutouts and posters; he destroyed a few just as she did the same. She is communicating with him using a damaged poster with her face.

“I know you can hear me, demon, don’t fake pretend.”

“Wんﾘ りの ﾘのひ ᄃﾑ尺乇?” He hopes to scare her, even though he knows it won’t work while using his beast form for some reason his speech turns nightmarish. Yet he doesn’t wield it often because of how difficult is controlling his instincts. Thoughts become more primal, talking it’s hard after a few hours transformed in it gets tiring, and he can’t measure his own force. He favors his inky form best: practical and gets the job done.

“I don’t”. So she’s just shitting with him, insufferable.

“Then why ask?”

“Spirit of inquiry. Your relationship intrigues me, up there in Heaven, we get curious as to why you didn’t kill him yourself. And don’t even try to justify your actions. You had many opportunities. The little errand boy nearly ends up killing you, he tried the same with me”.

After listening to what the Angel had to said, his permanent smile turned slowly into a frown. It’s never a good thing when the Lord ain’t wearing one.

“…”

“Well?”

The fallen angel is laughing at him.

“Not even you know the reason behind your acts of mercy!” He remains silent, it’s not like she’s wrong, the little devil does not why he was so resilient with Henry.

After that fiasco, she left him be.

Thanks to Alice’s short visit, Bendy finds questioning why she dropped by. They hate one another, true. She has eyes here and there, but it’s to keep him in line, so he won’t cross an inky limb on her domain. Unlike the female cartoon, he does not have any cutouts, posters, plushies, or ink servants near her place. He wants nothing to do with her. That’s why he finds it so unusual, it’s not like her.

Unless…

She fancies something he has.

<<If that bitch knows what’s good for her, she won’t be picking her nose in my business>>

Later he’ll do his rounds throughout the studio, maybe, the imp will find what she’s searching before she does, whatever it may be, he won’t let her have it.

He’ll make sure of it.

Who knows what her deranged mind has planned; he’s tired of the gruesome scenery this place is in, corpses all around, clones of his ol’ friend bring back unsavory images from the past. Oh, Lawrence, he’s a madman, made satanic circles as a way of showing his devotion towards the black devil. Thanks to Sammy, he has eyes in nearly the entire place.

Yes, he’s aware the musician it’s alive, but Sammy Lawrence continues being of use for him.

<<I’ll take care of him when I wake up…>>

He’s exhausted. However, he stays on his beast form sunken in ink.

The demon’s slumber it’s a peaceful one…

.

   .

   .

   .

   .

   Until you enter his kingdom.

 An animalistic rumble shakes the tinted walls.

 He’s coming for you.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days.

You paced on the issue for three days, until you finally had an answer.

“I’m gonna pay a visit to your ol’ pal, maybe he’s still alive…or not…” You lowered your voice in the last part; Henry called Joey a bastard and accused him of being mentally unstable, you trust his word, but what if…what if he changed? There’s a possibility he redeemed himself and went through a rehabilitation process to help him with his instability.

<<I need to look for the address and from there I’ll see what can be done>>

You googled ‘Joey Drew Studios’ on your phone and within seconds Google Maps showed up, you were going to click at it, but then something catches your eye.

An article and it’s quite old.

‘Joey Drew Studios, also known as the workshop. Is an American corporation and an animation studio of the Bendy franchise, established in 1929.

Founded by Joey Drew and Henry Stein in an unknown full date other than the year of 1929, Joey Drew Studios is located at Broadway, Brooklyn, New York City, New York.

In 1946, Joey Drew Studios was under investigation after reports of hazardous work environments, missing employees, harassment, and excessive back pay, as well the company's danger of being bankrupt, all of which are a result of Joey's mismanagement of the studio. Anonymous employees threatened to make labor unions over the poor conditions, which included unpermitted buildings, hazardous electrical wiring, and a plumbing system prone to bursting. In addition, there were excessive work hours, most of which were unpaid and several animators were unable to see their families in weeks, after being threatened with disciplinary action and termination if they were unable to finish animations on tight schedules.

There were reports of barricaded offices, employees locked up in work spaces, and complaints of crazy malfunctioning machinery. Despite the evidence against the company, Joey Drew remained firm that the studio has done nothing wrong, calling the accusations "preposterous" and "ridiculous", dismissing them as either complaint from menial employees, or feeble attempts by competing studios to discredit Joey.

On August 16, 1959, the law firm known as Snooks, Spitner and Snooks sued Joey Drew, having heard the rumors of Joey's mismanaging of his own workers. 12 days later, the studio was closed down in accordance to legal regulation 11 U.S Code § 1125 (which forbids the misrepresentation of legally established companies) as evident by the bankruptcy report found in Joey's apartment, as well as health and safety concerns directly by the mention of a health and safety board meeting schedule found in the appointment lobby.’

Oof.

<<That’s a lot to take in>>

Why the fuck would Henry’s friend would want to meet at that nightmare show? Has he learned nothing after all this years? And not only that, the sucker it´s/was an abusive prick with his employees!

<<Man, you weren’t joking>>

You fear a screw lose isn’t Joey’s only problem.

<<He sounds like an asshole, I don’t want to put up with his shit...I’ve got enough dealing with people like him on a daily basis. Sure, not everyone it’s an ass and there’s some decent/kind people out there, but handling jerks as the likes of him tires me out>>

Sometimes you aren’t the most patient person, it all depends. But this whole ordeal it’s too much for you.

<<The studio is in the big city, New York it’s fucking expensive. I don’t have the money for travelling that far, I’ll have to bid on my savings and package supplies for the journey>>

Crap. Three days and you didn’t think all of this through! How can you be so stupid?!

Now this looks like one of those impulsive decisions you take for being careless and inattentive.

<<How could Henry put up with me when not even I can stand myself?!>>

You need an adult, that’s what you ought to have beside you.

Your life is such a mess sometimes…

“Before spending money on my idiocy I should read more and prepare myself.” You mutter angrily to yourself.

That’s exactly what you did the next two days, finally you are ready for departing.

You grab your backpack and the car’s keys. “Cellphone in the front pocket, all that’s left is open the door, lock it and call Abby, easy.”

During those two days you made a few calls and went up for gas, it was going to be a long trip from Miami to New York. Sure, it ain’t that extensive, but you’ll be driving by yourself for approximately 20 hours. A place to stay, money, gasoline and food are big girl’s problems. Not counting the money you’ll spend on a cheap motel to rest your head.

“That or make a few stops on gas stations…maybe sleeping in the car won’t be that bad…” The good thing is you have options; you aren’t tied solely to one alternative.  

<<Abby won’t charge me for doing me this favor, another plus>>

She’ll guard the house in your absence and will call if any emergency transpires.

Now, you are free to go.

<<I hope I made a good decision doing this>>

The first 8 hours were a torment, bored and your ass felt numb of sitting for that long, the last time you remained that still was in high school, since you made your schedule. Your feet hurt just as your arms did. You made a stop for eating and going to the bathroom, after that another 8 hours.

Overall, the journey was relaxing, while driving you admired the views offered to you, savoring each sight. It helped you keeping away some melancholy.

You miss Henry, no matter how much you tried to distract yourself with this excursion of yours, the emptiness stays in the back of your mind.

Your wounds are still fresh, you haven’t mourned properly, because you don’t want to. That’s why you are doing this, to keep yourself busy so you won’t think about it. You need it, you ain’t prepared for it yet.

Soon you’ll be.

After a short nap (before that you made many stops, ‘cuz you’re a whining bitch who ain’t strong enough to control her fucking bladder), you started driving again. You have three or four hours left on the road.

Time to listen some music, you activate Bluetooth and connect your phone to the car’s stereo, finally you found a song of your liking in Spotify and play it. You spent the rest of the trip singing along; sometimes you’ll speed up a little bit on the spur of the moment.

Soon you got to your destination, didn’t waste time changing clothes, you collapsed on the bed in the motel and slept for an hour. After that, you washed yourself and got ready for visiting Joey Drew.

“Here goes nothing…”

You regret already coming here, silly you just ruined a change of clothes! Why is there so much ink? You’ll never get out the ink of your shoes, fuck! You have been here for less than ten minutes and all went to shit for you! It doesn’t help this place keeps giving you the heebies-jeebies! Every time you take a step on the creaky wooden floor it feels as if someone is following you, like a slithering sound. The ink splashes keep creeping you out, if it wasn’t black you would think it’s blood, Jesus Christ.

<<Thank God, the lights still work; it would make this place spookier if they didn’t>>

As you venture further deeper into the studio, a beast rumbles, shaking everything around you, more ink drops fall.

At that moment…

…you knew you fucked up.

So you hide.

Your mind provides you one last thought before going high drive

‘WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!’

<<FUUU-

[megglesthegeek]

It Was Always you, Chapter One

It’s International Fanwork day, so I thought I would share the first chapter of my new, multi chapter fic.

Rated T and up

Summery:  A chance encounter during one of the worst times of Ezra Fell’s life reunites him with his once best friend and the one who got away. Though, that would imply he ever had him in the first place. Anthony Crowley and his son, Warlock, relocate to the quieter city of Tadfield from that of London. In the process, manages to find again that one person who always made him feel less alone, the one person he was pretty sure he was never going to speak to again. Together again, the pair repair what they lost, regain the footing time took away, and grow closer than they had been before. But the road to true love never did run smooth (something that’s been true from their very beginning). Their shared and separate histories hang like a cloud, causing them hesitate to cross the final line. But as everything stakes up against them, they’ll realize something everyone else seems to have known from the start: they’re better together than they are apart.

Available to read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22701799/chapters/54257413

or under the cut

“Can we go to the park?”

Ezra Fell was brought back into awareness by the simple question posed to him by his nephew, Adam. He looked down at the curly haired boy who stared back with wide, pleading eyes.

It was Saturday, the last Saturday they both had before returning to what was as close to their normal lives as they would ever get again. In some ways, it felt like the first Saturday after the world had ended, in others like it was like the first day of a new life. But that was mostly because Ezra was maudlin, having not slept much if at all the night before.

And, he supposed, it wasn’t like he was going to get any sleep now, so what was the harm in allowing Adam some semblance of normal.

“Yes,” Ezra agreed, and Adam was already up and scrambling to head for entryway where his shoes and coats were.

Ezra rose from the sofa, taking with him his book which had been sitting untouched in his lap.

“How long can we stay?” Adam asked as he pulled on his lace-less trainers.

“I’m not sure.” Ezra replied, though with the weather being very agreeable, it was very likely that they would be there for a few hours. Adam had been cooped up inside for one reason or another for the last two weeks, and for a four-year-old, he’d been quite cooperative.

And resilient. If there was one thing that Ezra had been the proudest of when it came to his nephew, these days it was his way of bouncing back from heart break and tragedy.

Ezra putting on his well-worn jacket: an antique beige jacket from sometime in the 1800s he’d found in a thrift store for an absolute steal. He slipped on his shoes, brown leather dress shoes he had re-soled once a year. He made sure he had his wallet, his glasses should he discover he need them, and grabbed his keys to stuff in the pocket with the book.

Adam put on his jacket; a bright red thing that would keep him just warm enough in the late May weather without causing him to sweat. Once the jacket was on, Ezra ruffled the boy’s dark blonde, curly hair, then opened the door and waved him out the flat. He locked up, making sure it was secure before he followed Adam down the stairs and around to the street. As they walked past the store front of the second hand bookshop the flat was housed above, Adam took Ezra’s hand without prompting.

It was fairly early, something Ezra hadn’t considered when fulfilling Adam’s request. The city of Tadfield, located between Oxford and London, was still fairly quiet. It hadn’t woken up from its Friday night hoopla, there being very few cars and next to no people on the sidewalk as they made their way to the spot Adam favored.

With only one way in (without climbing a massive, wrought iron fence), the East Tadfield Park was a lovely spot. There was a football field near the very back of it, in behind a small coup of trees that hid it and its stadium benches from the general public. There were jogging trails, something that Ezra had been made well aware of numerous times by a very persistent friend. There was a duck pond in the fair left corner from the entrance, and many gardens throughout for those who just want to be among the greenery. And, near the playground to the right of the entrance, was a well-placed coffee stand.

Ezra had been thinking about that as they ambled along, imagining the simple pleasure he may get from a steaming cup of tea, perhaps a scone or a danish, and reading a book while Adam played. It would be very, very close to the way things used to be, when he would watch him for a weekend and they would do this very thing on a nice day.

“Uncle Ezra, look! Look at the car!” Adam said, tugging on his hand and hopping about, pointing at an antique-looking black car parked on the side of the road beside the park entrance. It was one of only three sitting idle, but the look of it-long and sleek and not of the era-made it would have made it stick out.

“It’s very interesting.” Ezra agreed with the boy. “Looks a little too new to be a true old vehicle, though.”

Adam didn’t seem to be listening at this point, his interest diverted to something in the trees overhead. Which, really, was for the best. Ezra’s knowledge on vehicles was extremely limited, boiled down to the basics of the key going into the ignition, and petrol was needed to keep them going. Anything else was taken care of by an annual servicing, and since he hadn’t ever found a need to own one himself, it was pretty much just what he recalled his mum telling him as a teenager.

They turned into the park, quiet except for the sound of a passing jogger on the path, and the distant shift of the playground equipment. Adam remained at Ezra’s side diligently, keeping pace despite clearly wanting to make a run for it.

“There’s another kid there,” He said, tugging at Ezra’s hand while they slowed on approach to the coffee stand.

“That’s excellent,” he smiled down at his nephew. “Perhaps you can make a friend.”

“Hey Mr Fell,” the young employee greeted him with a smile as he came up to the window.

“Mr Nolan, what a pleasant surprise. How are you, how was your break?” He asked.

“Wasn’t bad,” his student asked, smile shifting after a moment. “I’m sorry for your lost. It went around the school why you were gone the week before break.”

Ezra’s smile faltered. “Thank you, Mr Nolan.” And then before the young man could carry on the topic, he asked, “Would I be able to get a cup of tea, and one of those raspberry scones, please.” He then turned to his nephew. “Would you like anything, Adam?”

“No, thank you.” He replied, eyes focused straight ahead at the playground.

Ezra looked to his student, “Perhaps an apple juice for later.” He asked.

The young man looked to Adam with a slight furrow of his brow, then to Ezra, and smiled in a confused little way before going to fill Ezra’s order.

Well, that would take away from the talk of his family loss, now the entire student body will be wondering if he had a son, and if so, then how.

He paid the young man after getting his good, and once they were in hand, Adam took that as his cue to take off. Ezra followed at a slower pace, his eyes focused on Adam as he watched him run between the concrete tables with their matching benches, ignoring the ginger person sitting at one of them.

Something like a pang whipped through Ezra as he remembered a fellow he once knew with a similar shade, who also happened to like wearing blacks and grays. Who was also slender.

A reminder of another thing lost. It was best he brought his book after all.

Ezra settled at the other table, eyes scanning the equipment for Adam as he disappeared for a moment, resurfacing at the top of one section to catch up with the dark-haired child who was already there.

“Stay where I can see you, Adam.” He called, a reminder to stay where he was more than anything else. There were enough trees about that he could hide easily, and Ezra knew he wouldn’t be able to handle losing sight of him during an impromptu game of hide-and-seek. He grinned at his nephew, seeming to have found a playmate for the morning, then settled on the bench.

He’d just removed his scone from its brown, paper bag when he heard the very quiet, very disbelieving, “Ezra?”

He turned to the man at the other table, the only other adult at the park, the voice a little too familiar.

He was utterly taken aback by the sight before him. “Oh,” he gasped. “Anthony?”

He couldn’t imagine the odds. After so many years of seeing tall, slender ginger men around the city, and occasionally on his pop overs to London, he had long come to expect the disappointment at finding a stranger instead of his long-lost friend. To find him now, in Tadfield East Park, seemed utterly ridiculous.

He’d changed just enough to not be recognizable at first. For one, Anthony had always had shorter hair, styled in such a lazy way that was always considered cool. Now he sported longer locks, his natural wave coming through in the ends. It was half up at the moment, a small knot or bun at the back where it was tied. There were also a pair of very fancy sunglasses covering his very unique eyes.

“Holy shit.” Anthony said softly, nothing but surprise in his tone, and Ezra barked out a laugh with equal feeling. Anthony turned sharply toward the jungle gym, then sharply back. “You? You’re?” he pointed toward the equipment.

“I’m here with the little blonde boy, yes.” He nodded. “And you, you’re?”

“My son, Lock, yeah.” Anthony replied like he still wasn’t sure this was real. He shook his head. “I can’t… how long have you been here?”

“About five minutes,” Ezra replied with a smirk, and Anthony grinned.

“Not-, Tadfield. How long have you been here in Tadfield?”

“Oh, about five, almost six years, now.” He replied. “How about you?”

“We just moved here from London earlier in the week.” Anthony replied, the disbelief returning. “I… my shop. I… I have a shop here. I… I work from it more than I do London.” He explained.

“Oh,” Ezra perked up. “Well, that’s lovely. I think you’ll like it here. It’s not as busy as London, admittedly. It’s just above a town in size, sort of a very small city. Nightlife might leave something to be desired, of course, but-”

“When did you get married?” Anthony interrupted.

Ezra wasn’t sure it was because he was babbling, his hands were flapping about in that way they did when he ramble or was nervous (or was nervously rambling, which he was not, of course), or if it was because some part of Anthony’s brain still hadn’t caught up to their present situation. Ezra didn’t need to see his eyes to know they were wide, still filled with surprise, and half unfocused. They were, at one point, best friends. Had been until about eight years before, no more than ten.

It took a second for Ezra to realize what Anthony had asked him. “Oh.” He frowned. “I’m not. Why would you think I was?”

Anthony stared at him a moment before gesturing broadly in the direction of the boys who were playing quite happily together.

Ezra looked at the boys, then back at Anthony, pursing his lips as his frown deepened.

“He looks like you did, when we were kids.” Anthony explained. “Least from what I saw as he ran by.”

“Oh,” Ezra understood. “Oh, he’s not… he’s not mine. Well, I suppose he is now.” He added sadly. “He is, was, I mean…. Eliza’s his mother. But she passed.”

“What?” Anthony said, before shaking his head. “I mean, sorry. I’m so sorry. Oh, Ezra, you… I can’t imagine, I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you.” He managed, then remembered he had tea that might help to wash away the sudden lump in his throat.

“How… how did she… when?” Anthony stammered, and he reached up to remove the sunglasses.

Ezra wasn’t sure what brought the tears to his eyes: the still raw grief of losing his sister, or the beautiful sight of Anthony’s eyes. A pale, near-golden brown with a spot at the top and bottom of each eye, perfectly aligned with the pupil. He could understand the need for shades, Anthony’s eyes would draw a double take, almost looking like snake eyes if one looked quick enough. Ezra remembered it had been a common lament of his friend’s when they were younger.

He missed them.

“About two weeks ago,” he replied, just a little watery. “Car accident. She and the man she’d been seeing, they were taking a trip up North,” Ezra gave a weak smile. “Gavin had asked me for permission to marry her, and he was going to propose.” He sniffed, clearing his throat. “The police aren’t sure what caused the accident. It’s possible Gavin lost control of the car, or there was an animal in the road. But either way, the vehicle… it was horrendous, I’m told.”

“I’m so sorry, truly.” He shook his head, looking at the boys again before turning back to Ezra. “Your mum must have taken it hard.”

“Mum’s been gone about four years now, just before Adam turned one.”

“Fuck,” Anthony said, shaking his head. “That is the worst. What about… his dad?” Anthony asked, looking at the boys.

Ezra followed his gaze, and his heart was momentarily lifted by seeing Adam’s smile, hearing his laugh as he and Lock played a game of some sort.

“Not in the picture.” Ezra replied. “He never was.” Anthony nodded in understanding. Which, of course, had made Ezra wonder about his situation. “What about Lock’s mum? Or… other dad?”

Anthony smirked. “She’s, uh… not in the picture, either. Not-not that I wanted her in the picture, or anything. She, umm, we, uh… it doesn’t matter. Point is, she’s not in Lock’s life. Just the two of us.”

There was a lull of silence between the two of them, and Ezra belatedly realized his heart was hammering. Had it been like that since the moment he realized Anthony Crowley was there, one table over? Or had it begun to race as they began speaking, how telling this man who was both a total stranger and the one person left who knew -truly knew- who he was about his recent heartbreak.

And when had they locked eyes? When had they begun to hold each other’s gaze?

Looking down, Ezra had suddenly remembered he had food.

Without hesitation, he broke off a bit of his scone and stuffed it in his mouth, focusing his attention on Adam and Lock for a while, finding it charming that the two of them took to each other so quickly.

In his periphery, he noted Anthony getting up, moving somewhere behind him. Probably to the coffee cart, and a quick glance over his shoulder confirmed it. He bowed his head back over his breakfast, realizing only now that in his early fog of fatigue that he’d fed Adam but not himself.

He ate without savoring, a crime in his own books, and by the time he had finished, Anthony was returning. To his great surprise, he settled in next to Ezra, leaving enough space between them that their elbows shouldn’t bump overmuch. It almost felt like being pressed up together, given how long it had been since they were in each other’s presence.

There was a companionable silence between them, and Ezra couldn’t help but side-eye Anthony. And, he realized, Anthony was doing the same with him from time to time. His sunglasses were perched on top of his head, having probably put them back on to order and removed them to a point when he returned. They would smile shyly (or slyly, as Anthony often looked) at each other when they were caught, but would just take a sip of their drink, turn to the boys, then start the whole thing over.

“So, what have you been up to? Tell me about this shop you mentioned.” Ezra said, shifting himself a bit more toward Anthony.

“Oh, well,” Anthony stammered a little. “Garden. It’s called the Garden, uh…. Dad… he wouldn’t release my trust fund to me. Still hadn’t proved myself… to his liking, I guess. So, I earned money doing gardening work. Seemed better than trying to earn experience interning with one of the companies in London, certainly better paid. I worked for a really well-to-do family until,” He paused, his face turning a deep red. “Well, until I didn’t. Made enough to buy a small little hole in the wall shop in Soho. Turned it around, made it a thing. Still did the arrangements and what not, but sold actual plants, too. Herb plants, a few dwarf fruit trees, basic houseplants, too. Did really well, coulda gone on just being there forever and probably wouldn’t have wanted for anything. Then, well, not long after Warlock he gave me my trust, and I knew I wanted bigger. Something like a nursery. Couldn’t do that in London, not the size I wanted, so I found a spot out here.”

“Eliza was very fond of The Garden, so I’m aware it does well.”

“Liza was a customer, was she?”

“Much as she could be.” Ezra nodded.

“Huh.” Anthony said, looking over at the boys a moment. “So, anyway, yeah. It’s… that’s my shop. I worked out there most days, back in the green house, or doing arrangements. Started to hate living in London, and with Lock, well….”

“You called him Warlock earlier.”

“Yeah, that’s his first name. Call him Lock most of the time.”

Ezra hummed in understanding, though he admittedly had some questions about the name. He let it go, for now. He could feel something building here, something delicate on firm foundations long buried and only just being uncovered.

“Your parents must be pleased to have a grandchild at least.” Ezra added, a smirk curling his lips in spite of himself. “Your father especially, what with the ever so coincidental timing of you getting your trust fund just as your son is born. He was always very set in the belief of what it takes to be a real man. Must have been overjoyed with the fact that you followed the proper urges and reproduced.”

Anthony snorted. “He was bloody over the moon. Thinking I was all straightened out. No pun intended.”

“I do recall you saying in University that he was overly concerned with your ‘behaving in unpredictable ways and hanging around the wrong sorts’.”

“Mmm,” Anthony said as he took a sip of his coffee. “Yeah, that was how he put it, alright. Mind, that started well before I left home.”

“He never did like me.” Ezra said, unfazed.

“Still wouldn’t.”

“Quite right,” Ezra agreed. “As I am still very much the ‘wrong sort’.”

“Not any of the better sort myself.” Anthony mumbled against the lip of his coffee cup.

Ezra looked him over, feeling his heart warm up and sigh as he took in Anthony’s profile. “So, you said Lock’s mother isn’t in the picture, but you never said if you had a partner.”

“Not anymore.” Anthony replied, setting his cup back down, rolling it between his hands. “Was seeing a bloke for a bit, but wasn’t anything terribly serious, and with the move? Just easier to call it off.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Ezra said, and if there was a small, quiet part of him that was lying, it didn’t matter.

The sad thing was, when it came to Anthony, it never did.

“Don’t be.” Anthony shrugged. “What about you? Not married, but seeing anyone?”

“No,” Ezra laughed. “No, I’ve been single for a while now.”

“How is that possible?” Anthony asked, and Ezra shook his head at the tease.

“You and I both know I was never what anyone might call fit, but it seems I’ve only gotten softer with age.” He said, glancing down at the pudge that accumulated over the years. A sweater vest over his typical button up tended to hide it somewhat, but it was there all the same, made more obvious by sitting. “I’m hardly anyone’s type.”

“You’ve always been too hard on yourself,” Anthony chided gently. “There was that loud American in university, the one that took a shine to you, what was his name?”

“Gabriel,” Ezra said, hoping the heat he felt didn’t reflect in his cheeks.

“Yeah, Gabe. I believe you called him-”

“Please, don’t.” Ezra asked earnestly, and Anthony laughed.

“Alright, but you see my point, yeah? He fancied you. Lots of blokes, and even a few oblivious women fancied you plenty.” He commented.

“Can we change the subject, please.”

“You brought it up.”

“I asked if you had a paramour, not to rehash bygone days.” Ezra pointed out, taking a sip of his cooling tea.

“Suppose.” Anthony agreed.

He sighed with relief; glad they weren’t about to head right for the rocky waters of their past. No need to spoil a perfectly pleasant morning with all that nonsense.

 ~C~

 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

It had been a mantra of Crowley’s almost the entire time since being unexpectedly reunited with one Ezra Fell.

When he wasn’t screaming that single word in the void of his mind, there was also still lovely and bright, fuck me this is actually happening, and I’m an idiot.

He didn’t think anything so world shifting would happen when he got up that morning. Warlock had woken him up, having slept in Crowley’s bed the night before, the house still new and unfamiliar, the boxes mostly packed except for the very bare essentials. The little guy had been hungry, but of course having nothing really ready to go, and no proper food in the new house, Crowley decided breakfast out was in order. A quick search on his phone showed a coffee cart in a park about a mile from the house. The park had a playground.

Well, he was hoping that maybe Warlock would go down for a nap later in the day, and what better way to better the odds than to have him run about in the fresh air. The weather was fine, a first for the last week, and so there really wasn’t any reason not to go ahead with the idea.

He loaded him into the Bentley, a custom-made car that looks like a 1930s model on the outside, but had all the accommodations of a modern vehicle. They drove the mile, a distance that seemed a little pointless now, but would come in handy later when the worn-out Warlock would’ve whined about needing to walk.

They had muffins, and when the pastry was gone, Warlock took off for the alluring jungle gym.

Not long after, no more than five minutes after they’d finished, another little boy tore past Crowley, and he prepared himself to spend a bit longer than anticipated by pulling out his phone to entertain himself.

And then he heard it. The voice that lingered in his dreams and that he never really thought he’d hear again.

He’d been almost scared to say anything, but his name fell from his lips like it had been perched there. In some ways, it was, having never left them, not really.

“Ezra,”

“Oh, Anthony.” Ezra gasped, staring at him as if he wasn’t sure he was real.

“Holy shit.” Anthony had said, and the laugh that came from Ezra was like warm sun after a long, cold winter. It was real, it was pleased, and it had meant those three typed words in an email forever saved in Anthony’s inbox had been real.

I forgive you.

He had never dared follow up on it, even if it seemed he was allowed to. He’d realized what an ass he’d been to the man he considered his best friend, to the one person who had always been in his corner, and seemed to care for him unconditionally. Who may have even loved him in that same way. But he wasn’t brave, not when it came to his heart, not back then.

But now?

He still wasn’t brave, but he was trying to be. Trying to muster the nerve to make sure this very tentative connection could remain. It was too soon for all his buried affections to rise from the earth, but they were coming back regardless of what Crowley wanted. They didn’t care that there were years of history that the other wasn’t part of. Crowley had a child now, one with a parentage that he had to keep very, very quiet. Hell, Ezra had a child now, in a way. And he’d lost all his family, all that remained with the exception of Adam.

Yet despite that, he still seemed very much the Ezra Crowley knew. He still dressed like a man much older than he was, still spoke in that posh way, with fussy manners. He still had that wit, that ability to make a subtle dig that anyone who didn’t see his less angelic side believe was a state of fact or quiet sort of compliment.

Crowley wanted desperately to be back in his orbit, to have more mornings like this.

He’d have to be careful, though. He already came too close to a sore spot, bringing up Gabriel.

“So, does Adam go to nursery?” He asked. A safe topic, bringing things back to the boys. Kids were always a safe topic, Crowley found, when speaking to other parents. And while Ezra wasn’t exactly Adam’s parent, he was filling that role now, and knowing the Fells, he likely had a pretty big part in Adam’s upbringing from the get-go.

“He does.” Ezra confirmed, any wilting of that brilliant, bright mood of his automatically fading as he grinned. “Little Duck, not far from here.”

“Little Duck!” Crowley crowed. “That’s where Warlock’s going, starting Monday.” He grinned, all teeth. “What about his primary? Where’s he going?”

Ezra wilted again, just a little. “He’s been accepted in Tadfield East Elementary.” He replied, still grinning but much less so. “Eliza was quite pleased, what with it being not too far.”

Shit.

“Warlock’s going there, too.” Crowley said, still pleased but much more subdued. “He was a bit sad about starting a new nursery with only a few months to go, then worried about starting school in general. ‘Course now,” Crowley said, turning back to the boys as they ran about, smiling and laughing, whatever game they were playing agreeing with them both.

“Yes, I do recall big changes being easier to take when you made a friend,” Ezra replied with a smirk, peeking at Crowley from the corner of his eye.

“Be something else, wouldn’t it? The boys being best friends, too? Next generation of Crowleys and Fells?” Crowley said with a smile, trying his damnedest to mask the tremor that came up the second he realized what he said.

“Too?” Ezra asked, and Crowley prayed to someone, anyone, that he hadn’t mis-heard the hope in Ezra’s voice.

“Well, I’m new-ish. Got the work friends, of course, but none of them have kids. And you and me, well….”

“Do you still drive like an absolute insane person?” Ezra asked curiously.

“I’ve… toned it down since becoming a father.” He said, and noted the curl of Ezra’s lip.

“I’m glad to hear it.” Ezra replied, taking a sip of his drink. “It would have been dreadful to have to yell at you to slow down if we ever went anywhere together.” He glanced at Crowley. “I mean, if the boys are going to be friends, which if they way they are getting along is any indication, it’s a sure thing. Well, I’m sure we’re going to find ourselves in each other’s company quite often.”

“Still take your tea the same? Could have it ready when we’re meeting up here. Bound to happen, as you say.”

“I do.” Ezra replied. “And you? Still prefer your coffee black?”

“Like my soul.”

“Oh, please.” Ezra scoffed. “You were always one of the nicest-”

“Shut up!”

“-nicest people I’ve ever met. If your soul is black, then I would be loathed to find out the state of mine.”

“Says the-”

“Don’t say it,” Ezra didn’t really protest.

“-the angel.”

Ezra blushed, trying not to look so pleased, but Crowley could tell he was. The nickname, which was more a pet name in Crowley’s mind, had likely not been used since last time he spoke it.

“You never…,” Ezra started after a moment. “You never… kept in touch. I guess, I just assumed that maybe….”

“Maybe, what?”

“That maybe you had a reason to apologize that really had nothing to do with me.” Ezra turned to him then, the nervous worry in his eyes breaking Crowley’s heart. Ezra’s hands fidgeted around the cup in his grasp, and if it hadn’t been there, Crowley was sure they would be flapping about. “I’m not sure, maybe you felt obligated, or perhaps there was something happening in your life that you felt you needed to clear the air with others. Your note came just as I was leaving Oxford, which would mean, of course, that I wouldn’t have access to that electronic mail account anymore. I… I often wondered…. Oh, listen to me, ruining a perfectly good-”

“What did you wonder, Ezra?” Crowley asked softly, the name he would have said lodged in the back of his throat, waiting for permission to be set free again.

“…I had wondered if maybe you were hoping I would never have received it. So, you could have had a perfectly valid response if someone, I don’t know who, were to ask you why we stopped speaking.”

“No, that’s not… that’s not why. I… I just… things were….” Crowley stopped when he felt the warm press of Ezra’s hand on his, and he stared at it dumbfounded.

How often had these casual touches passed between them? How often had they held hands as they walked about the Oxford campus before Crowley changed schools? How many times had they lounged as teenagers, Crowley resting on the ground or floor in front of a bench or sofa Ezra was on, their hands resting in or on one another’s? He’d taken it for granted, not realizing how tactile his friend had been until Ezra was gone and casual touch was far less frequent.

“You don’t need to explain,” Ezra assured gently. “It was ages ago now. And while I may have wondered if you… it doesn’t matter. Not anymore.”

Crowley looked at that hand covering his and tried to will his hand to turn, palm up, so he could grasp it. The most he was able to do was move his thumb so it rested against Ezra’s.

“I didn’t want to stop speaking with you.” He managed to say. “Not ever.”

“Nor I.”

“Good,” Crowley said firmly. “So, we’ll just… forget the last ten years never happened, least as much as we can.”

“Had it really been that long?” Ezra asked softly, sadly.

“Yeah.” Crowley answered in the same tone.

“Well,” Ezra took a breath, straightening up, and unfortunately pulling his hand away. “We shall put it behind us then.”

“Great plan,” Crowley agreed, straightening from the slouch he hadn’t realized he’d gotten into himself. “Gimme your phone, I’ll put my number in it. Had to change it once.”

Ezra reached into his pocket, and Crowley held out his hand while taking a peek at the boys, seeing them sitting on the sand animatedly discussing something. He felt something placed in his palm, and looked down at the small, lightweight device still lit up from Ezra bringing up a new contact page.

Crowley blinked at it, then threw his head back and laughed.

Ezra huffed, “What? It’s a touch screen!”

“It’s bloody ancient.” Crowley laughed.

“It’s only six years old! Hardly ancient.”

“Oh, Ezra, for technology that’s virtually the stone age. It has buttons on the bottom, honest to God buttons. And, the size, it’s so small.” He said, turning it about. “Oh my… it’s a bloody Nokia!”

“It’s a perfectly acceptable and functional device. It has applications, even.”

Crowley was still giggling as he began to put in his contact information. “I suppose, considering how long it took Liza and I to convince you just to get a flip phone.”

“I do text message now.” Ezra said proudly. “Not often, mind you. I still prefer to simply call someone.”

“I am not at all surprised.” Crowley said as he moved on to the messaging app, sending himself a text message. He heard the ding in his pocket, but decided not to bother with it just yet. He’d save it later, after they parted ways and went home, before he began to unpack while Warlock played or slept.

“So, what did you end up doing? Tell me about it.” Crowley asked as he gave Ezra’s phone back to him.

“Well, I teach English….” He started off, and they continued on talking and catching up until the boys came over complaining of being hungry.

They parted ways, though it seemed none of the four wanted to. There was a promise to the young ones that they’d see each other at nursery on Monday, but between the adults there was nothing more than a chance of running into one another.

At least, not yet, because as Crowley drove a tired, slightly cranky Warlock back home, he was starting to think of a dozen different ways he could see Ezra again.

[informationpolitix]

Script for Upcoming Video - “Free Market” Economics Aren’t About Freedom

In the term "free market", what is referred to as "freedom" actually means the freedom only of capitalistic transactions to occur in the absence of interference from the actions of free individuals.

In other words, in a "free market" system, as libertarians and capitalists have termed it, the state or some other form of violent authority protects certain kinds of market activity from the free actions of individuals

I would term a truly free market, which is free of violence and allows the interaction of free individuals the "true market"

To many people, unregulated capitalism appears to have the potential to get out of control very quickly and produce detrimental effects,

and thus regulation from central authorities have become commonplace within any system of capitalism and are considered by a clear majority of society to be necessary for these systems of capitalism to function.

In the absence of government, activity that could be considered regulatory would still occur, however this would be in the form of direct action, examples of which include - industrial sabotage - destruction of property like the physical products for sale or the infrastructure used to produce them - alteration of property to include important information that should be visible to consumers - physical disruption of supply chains, transportation and commerce, occupation of land and property such as foreclosed houses, factories, stores and offices - trespassing to conduct these kinds of activities, as well as to conduct journalism which exposes industry practices - seizure of the means of production by workers who are constantly in close physical proximity to industrial infrastructure

Also activity which might have effects analogous to social welfare and redistribution may also occur such as - theft and redistribution of product - theft of intellectual property, which may then be published to achieve public access - seizure of means of production could also have this effect or motivation behind it

Regulation is maybe a more natural phenomenon than the market processes that "free market" advocates espouse.

This is not to say that having the property of being natural is necessarily advantageous in all cases, but humans evolved in to interface with natural processes and there can be arguments made for why doing what most resembles natural processes may be the most prudent choice of action.

Basically the argument would be that we cannot predict in such a complex and evolving system as human economy what the effects of any artificial social program may have over a long term, and thus it may be the most prudent to let human nature play its course, letting humans make their own decisions at a granular level what is the best course of action to take at any given interval, with all means at their disposal as autonomous agents with the most prudent exception being the use of violence

All forms of capitalism, even the so-called free-market capitalism, are propped up and enabled by what are essentially social programs, the most fundamental being the provision of property benefits by central authorities. No system of capitalism, even the free-market capitalism espoused by anarcho-capitalists may be able to exist and sustain itself absent these fundamental social programs provisioned by the state

The protection of property in either scenario, state-capitalist or anarcho-capitalist, calls for the use of physical violence against living human beings to protect inanimate objects or abstract ideas and arrangements

Arguments have been made that money is essentially a form of information technology, and the flow of money through the billions and trillions of individual transactions that happen day to day is likened to a form of communication about what physical goods and services are necessary and advantageous, which are not and should be discontinued, and what physical resources or services are available to exchange or are predicted to be available for exchange in the future

One of the main arguments against socialism and other forms of government interference in economic activity is that it would be impossible to emulate the free activity at the level of granularity that it happens in real life to be successful at predicting the needs of all these individuals and efficiently provisioning goods and services to large populations.

In fact many people are, very reasonably, afraid that the inefficiencies are so great that large populations would suffer catastrophes, like the loss of children to preventable disease because of the inability of an inefficient economy to maintain advanced systems like medical systems, or are afraid that society could flat out not be sustained using centrally planned economies or economic systems that suffer too much interference from central authorities

However, on the other side of the coin is the effect of decentralized direct action, which is prevented through government violence or otherwise violent interference within the "free market" economic model in the form of property protections.

These collective effects of decentralized direct action might represent what could be considered the influence of human intelligence within market systems at a granular level, that goes beyond the information that money and basic market transactions can encapsulate, and that may actually be necessary for the long term survival and economic, ecological and social sustainability of a large society

A market in which people are truly free to interact without the influence of violence preventing certain types of behavior that would arise may be the most sustainable type of market, and one that produces the overall best results

Government regulation essentially emulates the natural phenomena that would arise absent what is essentially the social program of "property rights".

There are two dimensions to systems of property "rights" in a statist system, one or a combination of both which may be implemented depending on the system of government in use

One being protection from the overreach of the state itself

The other, which could be considered the social aspect of these rights, being the benefits government provides property owners against infringement of property by free actors in society, like as in the infringements caused through direct action on the behalf of these free individuals

Although it is difficult or impossible to determine without seeing such free interaction play out in real life, government regulation may actually be more in line with the phenomena that arise in a truly free economy

This kind of interaction I think could be best termed "True Market" interaction.... because it's cool to make up new words

This is the type of market system that might arise within an anarchist society, in which no services from a central government authority could be relied upon to protect property against the activities of free people - consumers, laborers, and disenfranchised social classes.

Direct action would essentially serve to lessen the profitability of any company or industry which has been targeted. This could be an effective means of shifting market incentive away from that type of industry or cause a particular organization to fail.

Collectively these effects would increase the cost of certain types of product while the cost of alternatives remain the same or become cheaper because of the effects of economies of scale now that industry has invested into their production

For example, the cost of fossil fuels might rise and then renewable energy becomes a viable alternative, or even things like animal based foods would become more expensive compared to plant based food and thus these alternatives will experience broader societal adoption

There are other market phenomena that can cause a similar outcome, that arise within a "free market" system of property rights, namely the effects of boycott and simply the choice to purchase one product over another. However in these activities, we might say that a lower level of human intelligence takes over and people resort to doing what is best in the immediate present, maybe because of their financial services, laziness or inability to access critical information about the products and services they choose to consume, they do not make the best decisions.

This is why the more potent and directed application of intelligence which is manifested through physical direct action may be the key to solving long term problems and problems which aren't so visible in a free society, like environmental destruction, labor devaluation, and the introduction of harmful substances into products.

Isn't the destruction, theft or alteration of somebody's property a form of violence? - well it can be, but for the most part it may not be considered violence for reasons discussed in the following video [point upper right]

and in those cases this question would only result in moral arguments about whether it is moral or not to destroy property which isn't immediately necessary for the owner's survival or the survival of those involved in the owners private operation

this episode will focus mostly on pragmatic arguments that have to do with the potential outcomes of a truly unregulated market, absent the influence of state power

Isn't direct action like industrial sabotage and destruction of property dangerous? - It certainly can be, like for example   - acts of arson could be committed that kill or injure laborers at the targeted organization, or other forms of collateral damage could kill or injure people instead of only destroying inanimate property   - environmental damage could be accidentally caused in the case of destroying active oil pipelines or sabotaging complex technical operations   - even things like releasing animals from captivity could be more harmful to the animals if they are just released into the wild, or not taken care of properly after the release   - etc. etc.   - As with anything, however, a free society needs to learn how to organize itself in such a way that prevents these types of accidents from happening, or else it surely could fail   - further, in the case of an anarchist society, people versed in theory, like the theory I am developing right now, would understand the risks going into it, and society at large would put pressure on organizations to implement security measures and safety measures that prevent accidents from happening, and when people construct business plans they would take the effects of direct action into consideration, making safer business plans more economically viable than others, and thus unsafe conditions and potential for direct action wouldn't arise in the first place because businesses would learn not to do things which provoke public out lash   - things that could increase costs would be the repair of sabotaged or destroyed infrastructure, the replacement of destroyed or stolen product, increased transportation costs in the case that transportation routes become blocked, and workers would evaluate the potential for industrial sabotage as an occupational hazard and demand higher wages.   - if people transitioned into a system of anarchism recklessly, without taking these principles into account, it would suffer the negative effects described and would fail. The same holds true for a transition into any form of government, if the transition is carried out recklessly the society will fail

If the costs of doing business increased, wouldn't life become unsustainably expensive?

- This is a legitimate concern, there is no way to know for sure without experimenting with this kind of economy on a large scale - In some of my other videos I do come to the conclusion that the entire structure of society would change absent state, favoring communal structures with agrarianism becoming the prevalent mode of operation - However, it is quite possible that the expenses incurred by this mode of operation would not significantly hinder the ability of society to sustain itself - Lifestyles would probably just adapt - Also, the idea that efficiency is the solution to all of our problems is closed minded. Anarchist economies would most likely be less efficient, but may produce better long term outcomes and be more sustainable and empowering for the individual

What about Free Enterprise? Isn't that a good thing? Isn't that freedom?

- Free Enterprise is again a misnomer in my opinion, because it is only possible through a guarantee from the state that citizens of your own country won't be able to take actions that prevent your enterprise from conducting activities outside the country that might have negative repercussions for people, both inside and outside of your country, in the form of labor devaluation leading to outsourcing and subsequent wealth disparities, war caused by destabilization, physical violence and coercion committed in the pursuit of profit and efficiency, etc.

- unbridled exploitation of disempowered and disadvantaged, sometime enslaved, laborers in other countries, exploitation which grows lopsided and coercive power structures that effectively commit atrocities against the laborers and others within their sphere of influence, and potentially creates risk of the formation of authoritative regimes through the encouragement and funding of corruption, who can, say, go on to fund drug lords, launder money for dangerous criminal activity, and participate in human trafficking among other things

- the creation of violent authorities anywhere in the world, and the disempowerment of workers which leads to extreme wealth disparities, has the potential to create a risk for everyone in the world. Whether this risk is worthwhile or manageable is a difficult or impossible question to answer, and whether the moral consequences of these activities are acceptable is a story for another video

The "destructive" influence of direct action within market processes may actually cause the market to output more beneficial and necessary products, and limit production of unnecessary ones that basically just consume resources and pollute the environment

- somebody destroying your product is no different from forces of nature or market forces depriving you of profit - if you make bad business decisions you should suffer the consequences. If you do things that piss people off or cause damage then your bottom line will be affected.

- Destruction and interference are the physical manifestation of the application of human intelligence on a large scale to market processes. The processes of production become influenced by these activities, with potentially the overall best outcome for everybody.

- These forces may act to limit the truly destructive behavior which is the production and obfuscation of dangerous products, the reckless introduction of dangerous technologies into an ecosystem which is not prepared to handle them 100% safely, and large scale chronic environmental destruction

- If you don't think environmental destruction or labor devaluation are concerns, things like the production of cheap products with intentional obfuscation engineered into the design that prevents you from performing repairs on the product, planned obsolescence and otherwise shoddy manufacturing, and the municipal costs of cleaning up the extra waste generated may actually be costing you more money as a consumer

- And somebody will eventually have to pick up an enormous bill for environmental damage. It may not be you, so you may not care, but without governments protecting this type of carelessness and selfish motivation of market processes the market may be able to effectively regulate itself to account for the costs shared by future generations

- Devaluation of human life occurs absent these processes, because of the latent nature of damage to health and life from the chronic consumption of toxic products or exposure to pollution, it is difficult to detect and manifest value within traditional "free market" processes, at least the value doesn't manifest until after the damage has been done and people start getting sick and dying and connections can be made and publicized about the causes

- And at the moral level, we should ask is it acceptable to lose any human life for the rapid introduction of new technologies?

- It is difficult to say without society having any mechanism to take fully representative consensus on a case by case basis for each technology, and the benefits of life saving technologies like life saving vaccines could be worth the lives lost in the expedition of technological development.  - For instance, the introduction of the polio vaccine may have caused HIV to be contracted in a large enough portion of society to become pandemic, though the story is just speculative this is an example and there are other historical examples, which I could dig up if I had more time so give me some money on Patreon.  - An example on the opposite end of this spectrum is the Deep Water Horizon accident - stats on how many lives lost or damage which most likely resulted in lives lost...

- Further, from a Utilitarian point of view, we might predict that the damage to health and life that direct action prevents in the forms I just discussed, any accidental death and injury caused by collateral damage during acts of industrial sabotage, etc. may pale in comparison to the danger that is averted by denying the introduction of harmful products to society and hazardous pollution into the environment

- Examples of how this type of freedom could make things worse, however, could be deaths and injuries caused by the inefficiencies these market processes might create  - statistically adding more security measures to airports and thus slowing people down causes a higher rate of deaths than terrorist attacks could cause, because people resort to driving more which statistically carries an extremely high risk of fatality.  - and if medical systems which require a very robust economy to sustain themselves aren't able to operate under less efficient economic conditions, then many children may die of preventable disease, etc.

This is all serious stuff, so I hope that people would go through the effort to work this kind of stuff out and make accurate predictions and projections and make this information publicly available and well known before ever attempting transition into a different system of economy like what I am describing

There are many side effects which would stem from this kind of radical change to market processes and also many dynamics to consider which would contribute to the motivation behind these destructive market forces

[carl95896-blog]

Detailed Notes On costoto safety

The cost of the inspection by itself is just not superior. The price of fixing matters, in order for the car to move the inspection, may very well be large. Transfer to Asset Safety?? You cannot be docked at the chosen framework to complete this motion.|??On the|Around the|Within the|About the|To the|Over the} onset of the business scenario, there was no justification for it,??he explained. ?But at the conclusion of the working day, we see improvements and productivity that we didn’t see up entrance.??You will find there's widespread concept in management that what will get measured receives managed. This also relates to the collection of data with respect to safety costs. At the time knowledge collection starts, Individuals providing the info turn into much more conscious of these prices and start handling them, consciously or unconsciously. This is probably the synergistic results of monitoring charges.|When scheduling your shipping and delivery having a gun Risk-free moving enterprise, you must offer just as much info as possible. This could make certain that you receive an accurate estimate.|Achieve an Advantage About Your Friends: Due to the superior quality of BCSP credentials, as shown by its compliance with nationwide and/or internationally recognized benchmarks for certification of individuals, most Keeping a BCSP credential have designed an edge for by themselves.|Given that the standard of choices is a purpose of the quality of data input, figuring out details trustworthiness is vital. Other analysis factors essential for the correct working of the expense design include:|Seemingly I can not go any place else to have the work accomplished because I'd safety accomplished at this place. Is that this true?|The financial institution isn't going to retain an additional list of keys on your safety deposit box as a result of safety and privacy troubles. There is only one established and that is given to you so if you shed it you must get a complete new lock/list of keys.|This on line company is furnished by Texas.gov, the Formal Web-site of Texas. The cost of this company incorporates cash that guidance the continued functions and enhancements of Texas.gov, that's provided by a third party in partnership While using the Point out.|I delight in sharing my particular activities in my journey again to financial well being and arranging for your upcoming -- that will involve sending two Young children to school and early retirement.|Besides the educational necessity, BCSP candidates will need to have Expert safety encounter. Skilled safety working experience ought to meet up with all of the next conditions for being viewed as suitable by BCSP:|Your driver license or identification card amount, Your date of birth, The last 4 digits of your respective social protection quantity, and|Lots of individuals invest in safety deposit bins to hold their jewelry, funds and essential documents. These packing containers are individually secure containers held in banking institutions that work as storages that protect against theft, fire, floods, and so on.| To be a precaution, it is best to create a copy of your safety deposit box critical and hold each keys in addition to one another and in safe destinations (not with your house keys or motor vehicle keys). Dont preserve the keys with a keyring or within an envelope Using the banks identify or the location of the safe deposit box. Give your additional critical only to a person you belief.|A sound program and excellent, conscientious practices dont really need to come with a steep rate tag ??we even outline the methods to create a PPE Software.|Citations and fines for noncompliance are high priced and Since theyre regarded as penalties and never working fees, OSHA and OSH fines aren't tax deductible.|Its all about deciding the fee vs . the value for your personal staff and fantastic-tuning it to meet your business goals.|Talk to your contractor with regards to the disability as well as exercise degree of the individual needing the modifications and with each other you can come up with a customized solution for your house.|the safety expires immediately after 36 times, so the vendor is out the hard cash if bike is not acquired in that timeframe...|Despite the fact that cost cost savings absolutely are a motivator, safetys most significant return on financial investment may be human cash. Businesses must not foundation conclusions on irrespective of whether a selected improve will bring about Price tag discounts, but in its place on whether or not it is going to preserve employees Protected, As outlined by Widdowson.|I are actually a Licensed tightwad striving for financial freedom because I became pregnant with my initial child -- And that i decided to discover a method to continue to be house with him entire-time.|Though the economic return on expense ??elevated productivity, improved customer service, dollars price savings from less accidents ??could assist with the promote far too, he added.|Ensure that you inspect them for old , splintering or rotting Wooden. You an outfit your home with the latest and strongest locks, but if they are positioned in old rotting doorways an intruder could merely force them in. Despite the fact that changing doorways and Home windows will include to the costs, it could be the only approach to guarantee your safety and safety.  Go on Studying} When they show you they "are not in a position to make it happen", insist that it may possibly and that you have completed it just before... there is certainly always an individual lazy on the pc not eager to bypass the automatic make/model Auto search. The Safety Income Survey shows that the certification course of action furnished them with correct skills in the sector. The certification did what it is meant to do - ensured the knowledge needed for apply. activities,??regulating professional medical do the job ailments and mistake reporting.|Low rider mentioned: Any new rider who does not know A lot about bikes really should usually buy a Accredited bicycle. Click on to expand...|As massive purchasers, regulators, conveners, and providers of wellbeing care services, states have distinctive options to further improve affected person safety and safeguard the general public. 1 system in position in only over fifty percent of states is the implementation of an adverse event reporting technique. This report describes the position of and trends in condition adverse occasion reporting systems as of November 2014. Read the complete report printed Jan. 2015. |Other firms have observed similar advancement. Alcoa states that when it started focusing on turning out to be a safer corporation, the Pittsburgh-centered aluminum company saw its earnings boost from $0.|In case the station the assets are increasingly being automatically moved to is not really in the exact method, the participant must spend fifteen% of the belongings' worth to launch them from asset safety. If it is similar method, the demand will be 0.5% with the property' benefit.|Step one of the Value product is always to determine the boundaries of the data collection search. What charges will likely be gathered and deemed? What strategies for defining fees will likely be applied? How will fees be sorted and classified?|You may also prefer to get the momentary driver license or ID by electronic mail, but it's essential to print it to ensure that it to generally be a valid doc.|OSHA approves two protocols for respirator in good shape tests Brief use of hand sanitizers may not be adequate to eliminate flu virus: research Taking in at your desk?|We use cookies to offer you a better practical experience. By continuing to browse the internet site you happen to be agreeing to our usage of cookies in accordance with our Privacy Plan.|Prior to now 20 several years, the responsibilities of safety professionals have expanded. Safety troubles have become far more advanced and modern safety pros should continuously maximize their know-how foundation. BCSP credential holders are One of the most extremely educated, educated, and skilled people in the safety field.|The accountability should be the prevention of harm to people today, property, as well as setting, in lieu of responsibility for responding to damaging situations.|We reserve the best to determine which responses violate our remark plan. (Anonymous remarks are welcome; merely skip the ??name|title|identify}??discipline from the comment box. An e mail deal with is necessary but will not be incorporated with the comment.)|The Section of Labor would not endorse, takes no responsibility for, and workouts no Handle in excess of the joined Business or its views, or contents, nor does it vouch with the precision or accessibility of the knowledge contained around the vacation spot server.|The owner can prefer to Get well person items or your complete contents in the container at the same time by deciding upon and dragging the objects from your Asset Safety wrap in the hangar or cargo hold.} Invest in Test??menu button. You may have just one (one) year from your approval of the application to acquire and sit for assessment, and could sit with the Test Anytime following a 6 (six) 7 days waiting around period of time from the final Test endeavor.|Select a financial institution Risk-free more than a home Secure. Whilst home safes can be had for as minor as $ninety nine, theyre less difficult for burglars to crack. Most residence safes bodyweight fewer than 100 lbs, so its not that tough for thieves to walk off with all your Harmless ??plus your valuables.|Regardless of the variances in the expense-estimate styles, Kolosh pressured which the Expense financial savings from safety are actual. ?Safetys not just a good matter to do,??he mentioned. ??It has|It's|It's got} many financial relevance also.??You can not put a value tag on preserving the overall health and safety of you, All your family members and your pets. Many of the threats to your own home's safety usually are not visible and you should seek the services of knowledgeable to come in and test your property for matters like asbestos, water and air good quality, mold, direct and various toxins.|But specialists say the personal savings exist, and ??armed with the ideal figures on The prices of injuries ??safety pros need to be able to efficiently argue that investments in safety will cause cost savings down the road.|When you've got a copy of anything significant (like your will or insurance policies papers) in a safe deposit box, your relations should be able to retrieve Those people objects should you, personally, can not.|Kijiji is your Close friend. Not sure about London precisely, but in the GTA there are lots of shops who can do same working day Safety and one-2hr Work opportunities.|The cost to deliver your vehicle nearly emission & safety specifications may be during the hundreds according to what your vehicle wants. Brakes, shocks, catalytic converter just to call a couple of illustrations.|Dont have faith in anyone who suggests that a safety system will not be cost-effective. Especially in scaled-down organizations.|Ships which have been boarded by a capsuleer won't be moved into asset safety. They will be undocked or be in Area over the pilots following log in after the framework has been decommissioned or wrecked.|If you purchase an uncertified bike and afterwards deliver it in for saftey to change possession, it could grow to be really pricey.|The more upfront and complete you will be with the small print necessary for your shift, the smoother your shipping will go. Moreover, you are going to avoid any surprises with additional service fees occur delivery day.|Look at providing the originals to your lawyer, and making copies to go with your safe deposit box or to offer an in depth friend or relative.  Supply|Affected individual safety also contains endeavours to reduce well being care-affiliated bacterial infections that end result from therapy inside of a hospital or other professional medical treatment environment. The goal of affected individual safety initiatives is to lessen soreness, suffering and deaths associated with preventable, unintended hurt to a individual.|You should Note: Rear See Safety reserves the best to change/modify the problems of our coverage in almost any way at any given time.|A far more exact calculation of safety charges could be reached which has a cost product depending on how the Group basically operates, making use of serious-time Price estimates. This process is dealt with in more depth underneath.|As recognition for BCSP credentials grow among the employers, federal government organizations, peers, and the general public; those holding just one have a competitive edge for safety positions and assignments.|Supply the next documentation into the license and permit expert: Software substitute, and} Safety Manner lets you keep utilizing knowledge at minimized speeds just after your details allowance is utilized up for your month. You'll be able to remain on the web with no stressing about overage expenses. Value accuracy. This really is connected to the dependability of the actual number??a combination of the supply of the info and who really supplies it.|A significant variable is acquiring satisfied benchmarks recognized by peers for professional safety exercise. It signifies that you have risen earlier mentioned the competition simply because you have already been evaluated by professional friends towards Those people expectations.|When swimming inside the ocean, be conscious of riptides. If you need to do get stuck in the riptide, Do not swim versus The present; instead, swim parallel into the shore.|The fee to move or supply your Protected is a brilliant expenditure for the safety and for shielding your Protected and residential. The pricing supplied on this page is just a mean. You must contact your neighborhood Liberty Secure seller for final pricing.|Consequently, gathering fantastic info during the early implementation phases turns into a Consider continuing to show worth over time. You will discover many various strategies to find out a company's price of safety. What follows is 1 fundamental method.|You'd probably must pay them possibly a labor fee, or expense of A different safety, yes. Simply because they'll need to examine the car to more info make sure the part was changed, and that It is really safe. If it have been one thing like a bulb, tire, etc. in which they will visually see it than no.|Simply just enter your issue and availability, and TalkLocal will do the rest. Within minutes, you have to be within the cellular phone with a professional corporation who is prepared to assist you out.|Some providers nevertheless Slice back on safety mainly because its deemed much too pricey. New PPE may not be while in the budget, or there may be an excessive amount of going on at do the job to prevent output and squeeze in safety instruction.|While safety deposit bins are resistant??to fireside, flood, heat, earthquakes, hurricanes, explosions and various disastrous situations, there is absolutely no promise that the products will never get destroyed.  Its smart to set your valuables inside a water-resistant container right before putting them in the Protected deposit box for included protection.|Suspect information and facts/unsure summary. During this class you suspect that the knowledge is not really superior, but can't be particular that it's bad.|Some indirect prices will be the identical it doesn't matter your enterprise, Some others will be a lot more marketplace precise. By way of example:|The proprietor with the box and the financial institution agent need to be current once the safety deposit box is becoming drilled. Bear in mind, the expense of drilling and changing the lock/keys is all on you.|You could search online for the particular regulations, I provide the hyperlink at your house but am on my iPad at the moment. For anyone who is alittle mechanically inclined, you are able to do your own personal inspection that could signify excess of the bit of paper.|On top of that, when something comes about to your member of your family, or if It truly is just a improve in age that causes incapacity, and also you find yourself needing to retrofit your property to accommodate for the new dwelling circumstance, remodeling will permit the disabled individual in your home to truly feel far more empowered and unbiased.|To aid our function, and continue to be a no cost website, we receive a Fee from a few of the backlinks we share.|The OHST is sponsored with the Board of Accredited Safety Gurus, and provides a great mixture complex credential. This certification won't require a school degree. The needed 200 problem test is Similarly divided in between safety and wellness.|Whenever you offer your info, we will under no circumstances give or market that data to any outdoors organization or personal for its use in solicitation. We'll preserve the confidentiality within your information and facts though applying it to aid your romance with Rear Watch Safety Inc.} A nationwide safety Corporation that championed required seat belt rules is now calling on governors and legislators in all fifty states to ban cell phone use while driving. of lawyer??(your published authorization for one more individual to transact organization on the behalf), passports (in case of an emergency journey), health care-treatment directives should you turn out to be sick and incapacitated, and funeral or burial instructions you make.|Although the process was regarded as a tripping hazard, the corporate believed elevating the conveyor off the ground could well be also highly-priced. Even so, immediately after an worker tripped above the conveyor and broke a hip, the corporate realized the procedure had to be raised.|jukon stated: I'd personally avoid "as is" bikes. When the person can't care more than enough to get a piece of paper in your case he most likely can not treatment more than enough to just take great treatment of your bicycle. Simply click to increase...|I have bought my previous two cars and trucks and two bikes unsafetied and use that to my advantage when bargaining, considering the fact that most sellers would rather not cope with the hassle of having it safetied|The CSP Exam is the second-degree examination expected in The 2 check system. This five and one particular-50 % hour Computer system delivered examination is made up of two hundred concerns that analyze the prospect's applied information and the applying of experience obtained as a result of Experienced practice. The two the ASP as well as the CSP are administered through the BCSP.|CCOHS describes that even tiny organizations with an excellent safety background can slide prey to unexpected costs that ironically stem from endeavors to save money.|With minimal complication premiums being more and more identified as a significant evaluate of fine clinic efficiency, initiatives to reduce complication prices are being pursued Along with the expectation of serving to clients and minimizing payers??reimbursement bills along with companies??expenses. Published in Overall health Affairs, October 2012. See: |During all the years I've been dealing with Rear Watch Safety, they've by no means let me down. I have experienced them ship a multitude of components to different addresses all over the nation and so they virtually have 100% achievements rate with my company. Their customer care is usually pleasurable to speak with, there is constantly somebody there swiftly (no extended keep instances), and they're seriously experienced about the merchandise as well!|If you might want to get a substitution with out switching any information on the entrance of the card, it's possible you'll use the net Card Replacement attribute, provided you might have the following data:} When staff members aren’t snug at do the job, they’re extra likely to move on to a brand new occupation. This results in a company that is less aggressive because the greatest employees won’t want to work there.-in??from management to the safety perform, so that it will become a Section of the culture of a corporation.|It was once within the $eighty variety but seems like the more recent, much more thorough requirements have amplified The prices somewhat. Commonly, brake work would be the #one expense I feel. normally new pads or some rotor grinding. If it is a properly held automobile, there actually shouldn't be something extra.|This really is something that has happened persistently at Schneider Electric powered, Widdow son explained ??a approach or modify is authorized with safety improvement remaining the justification, and unexpected Positive aspects to organization coming later on.} You can go elsewhere to obtain the operate finished, but as the wheel must be eradicated for the ball joint to be replaced, the Inspecting Shop will cost you an hourly fee to examine and confirm which the do the job was done. to present, 1 location to a different, a person team to a different? that drives conduct in a company. What will get rewarded gets recurring, And just how an motion is calculated and as opposed gets a foundation for habits modification. So, the mere motion of measuring costs will drive enhancement in those expenses. And which will come to be the most important offering point of all.|Is the fact a lot of of the price to inquire? Or can it be a crimson flag that there is likely to be anything seriously Erroneous With all the bicycle?|Whilst The prices of a safety program aren’t carved in stone, many of them are fairly very easy to quantify. For instance, you almost certainly know the cost of PPE employed by your employees. But some expenditures aren’t easy.|You put your hard earned money in a very financial institution.  You place your meals inside of a fridge.  You place your clothes in a very closet.|Obviously, monitoring safety prices might be a complicated and time (and energy) consuming procedure. The more you are doing, the more you are able to do. All of it depends on The key reason why for collecting the information in the first place and what you intend to utilize it for. So, coming entire circle, we arrive Yet again for the aim. If you are only seeking to get some perception of wherever, inside of get of magnitude, your fees are, then you can use many of the fundamental ??rules|guidelines|principles|policies|regulations|procedures} of thumb??and get there at a tough estimate of prices.|The next NCSL Difficulty short was distributed to condition legislators and legislative staff across the nation.} Safety and the tiny organization A environment of distinction?? For Females in safety, a mentor can present guidance and open doors Staff and diploids: A snapshot Again to well being: How to proceed about very low again discomfort these two principle prices factors separate assists companies observe how they change with time and really helps to present how investments in safety can in fact minimize the expense of non-safety.??the 200 problem 4 hour Test measures a persons understanding of the speculation and apply of primary adult education and learning and confirms understanding and practical experience within the SH&E specialty place(s) in which they train.|of charges, not true prices. A significantly less theoretical solution draws on the present cost accounting construction of your Business. In spite of everything, cost details is currently staying accumulated to price possible jobs and Invoice for do the job in place.|Asbestos may be in paint, vinyl ground tiles, steam pipes and furnaces. 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Analysis of TERF thought

What follows is the complete entry on TERFs from the book “The A-Z of Gender and Sexuality” by Morgan Lev Edward Holleb. In it he provides a clear breakdown of the ways TERF thought works and how it mirrors reactionary far right understandings of the world.

It’s really long but I urge you all to give it a read (don’t worry; most of it will be under the cut so’s not to take up space on your dash) and help spread it.

TERF/TERFS - Acronym for “Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism/Feminists”

TERF ideology is a specific strand of transphobia. It is a subset of feminism which actively denies the legitimacy of trans people and insists that gender is predetermined by biology. Some TERFs actively advocate for the eradication of trans women (and by extension, all trans people, though their focus is overwhelmingly on trans women). TERFs see trans women and AMAB trans people as a direct threat to cis women and cis womanhood. Although TERFs claim to be “radical feminists,” they’re closer to the right-wing than the left. They share several key ideological viewpoints with Nazis, and have adopted many of the same (modern Nazi) trolling and (historical and modern) rhetorical strategies, building on the fascist legacy of vilifying queer people.

TERFS have been a part of the discourse around trans people and feminism since the 1960s, when hormone replacement therapy became widely accessible for trans people (those who could afford it). TERFs saw trans women as stereotypes of femininity (a parody or mockery of womanhood), who reinforced sexist ideas about what it means to be a woman. Trans women were (and largely still are) forced to perform exaggerated femininity in order to access transition-related healthcare - only trans women who wear traditionally feminine clothes, are heterosexual, and behave in a stereotypically “ladylike”, respectable way were/are allowed to medically transition. This isn’t the fault of trans women; it’s the fault of psychiatric and medical establishments which themselves are extremely sexist and transphobic. But instead of analyzing the systems which harm all women, TERFs have instead attacked (and continue to attack) trans women.

In 1979 Janice Raymond published Transsexual Empire: The Making of he She Male, which said: “All transsexuals rape womens bodies by reducing the female form to an artefact, appropriating this body for themselves... Transsexuals merely cut off the most obvious means of invading women, so that they seem non-invasive.” She concluded that “transsexualism should be eradicated through denial of medical care.” In 198- Raymond was hired to write a US government white paper for the National Centre for Health Care Technology on transsexual healthcare . It was called “Technology on the Social and Ethical Aspects of Transsexual Surgery” and was used as the basis to stop gender affirming surgery being covered by Medicare; private insurance companies followed suit. Transition-specific healthcare was only covered again in the US under Obama’s Affordable Care Act, which required insurance companies to include it, beginning 1 January 2017.

TERFs deny that trans women are women, that trans men are men, and that non-binary people are non-binary. TERFS are biological essentialists: they equate genitals and internal reproductive organs with gender. They actively misgender trans people and claim to be “pro-science”, despite the fact that biologists have long since acknowledged that both biological sex and gender exists on spectrums. Amusingly, TERFs online often put “XX” in their usernames as a declaration of their chromosomes (as if the connection between womanhood and chromosomes is obvious and undeniable). There is a shared TERF and Nazi obsession with genetics and “scientific reality,” a positivist “truth” about bodies which is beyond critique. TERFs use “XX” to signify womanhood, like Nazis used “race science” to “prove” the superiority of whiteness. These views have been so thoroughly debunked that there is no need to explain them here. In all likelihood, most TERFs haven’t had their chromosomes checked, and most Nazis haven’t had their ancestry professionally traced (e.g., the “purity” of their whiteness confirmed). The point here isn’t that some TERFs aren’t XX and some Nazis aren’t “purely” white (an imaginary catergory); it’s that their bigotry rests on assumptions about biology and genetics which are scientifically lazy, as if you can “see” race and gender in a meaningful yet simplistic and binary way. TERFs and Nazis both suggest that people who are “genetically undesirable” should be sterilized, or worse.

Both TERFs and Nazis police and punish deviations from the majority identity groups - this begins by dehumanizing an entire class of people and denying them access to public space. Giving basic civil  rights to a minority group (trans people) is framed as a threat to the dominant majority group. (TERFs are not a majority group, but they claim to represent and protect the views of a majority group which they belong to: cis people.) Identity is heavily policed, and the minority group is denied access to public life to “protect” the majority group. Opposition to violent rhetoric and policy is dubbed “silencing legitimate concerns”; hate speech is coded in dog whistles (TERFs use “fender critical” “transgenderism,” “transwoman” instead of “trans woman”) and concern trolling (”protect our women and girls,” a line used by both TERFs and white supremacists). Biological essentialism is used to justify denial of rights based on social categories. Mental illness is vilified, and the minority group is coded as dangerously unstable.

TERFs fan the flames of moral panic on the far right - the same moral panic that vilifies many of them for being lesbians. TERF rhetorics are violent because the encourage a transphobic culture where trans people are denied agency and “rationality”; denied access to medical care, public life and support services; and ultimately denied personhood. Some TERFs directly encourage violence against trans women, including physical attacks and corrective rape.

TERFs declare that all trans people are pedophiles, carrying on a long tradition of categorizing proximity to queerness as child abuse. The minority group is painted not only as a threat that needs to be contained; it also needs to be exterminated in order to guarantee the safety of the majority. Today, this is most often weaponized with fear-mongering about sexual violence - trans women are labelled as inherently hypersexual, perverse, and a dangerous threat to (cis) women and girls.

The vilification of mental illness is another theme shared by TERFs and the far right. TERFs not only dismiss trans people as being mentally ill (thereby delegitimizing our genders) but they code us as dangerously unstable, using the pathologizing language of “sexual perversion” and linking transness to sexual violence, without evidence. They fan the flames of moral panic on the far right - the same moral panic that vilifies many TERFs for being lesbians. These are all rhetorically violent positions because they encourage a transphobic culture where trans people are denied agency and “rationality”; denied access to medical care, public life and support services and ultimately denied personhood.*

TERFs are only noticeable online, and in the UK, where they are a small but loud and dedicated group. The same 100 or so people will your the country to attend anti-trans events, which often get shut down or moved at the last minute due to public pressure to no-platform their hate speech. While they occasionally host anti-trans seminars and protest outside of trans events or events with trans speakers, the majority of their activism takes place online (under pseudonyms because their position is increasingly considered unacceptable).

One notable counterexample was London’s 2018 Pride parade, where a handfull of TERFs hijacked the parade and were allowed to lead it with transphobic and transmisoynistic banners. (Though Pride London [the corporation] failed to adequately deescalate or later address the TERF protest, subsequent UK pride marches that year were often lead with explicitly trans-inclusive banners.) Outwith the UK, trans rights are not positioned as oppositional to feminism.

Modern TERFs are defined as much by their ideology as their relationship to trolling. Their praxis is doxxing, harassing, outing, lurking, publishing pre-transition photos of trans women, creating fake accounts, creating accounts whose sold purpose is to index trans accounts and harass them, sabotaging surveys about trans people, and generally vying for space in online forums, especially on Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, and Mumsnet. Rather than do anything meaningful to help cis women and girls, TERFs essentially terrorize trans women and try to force them out of physical and difital spaces. There are some explicit connections between UK TERFs and white nationalists on Twitter: mutually following each other, retweeting each other, and discussing attending eachother’s events (e.g., Women’s Sace UK events and UKIP). TERFs are only able to push legislation when their goals align with the goals of Nazis. fascists, and other white supremacists (e.g., the Bathroom Bills, the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA) and Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA) in the US).

TERFs insist that it is their “free speech” right to be given a platform to espouse their ideology, whilst actually silencing the free speech rights of the minority group. Being granted an audience (e.g. on a university campus or in the national press) is neither a right nor an aspect of free speech. However, facing exclusion for starting a petition to no-platform a hate group )as is currently the case with a trans student at the University of Bristol), is a violation of free speech rights. TERFs are very vocal about  how “silenced” they are by being no-platformed, despite several high-profile TERFs enjoying regular columns in international newspapers. In the UK, TERFs hold influential cultural positions within the media, community organizing, NGOs, government, and academia; the same cannot be said for trans people.

TERFs position themselves as victims of a powerful “trans lobby” which threatens to “replace” them, when in fact they have heaps of structural power over the groups they claim to be threatened by. The victim narrative is particularly noteworthy: TERFs claim to be victims of silencing and violence, with no attention paid to how their ideologies structurally silence and incite violence against marginalized people. For example, if a trans person allegedly punches a TERF at a counter protest, the focus is then on the legitimacy of punching as a tactic (even in self-defence, assuming the punch actually happened). Centrists and fair-weather “allies” are quick to pick up on this narrative, claiming a middle ground of non-violence, not realizing that they’re legitimizing an extremely violent ideology. This takes the heat off TERFs’ tactics and their ideology, which are of course both extremely violent and about protecting abstract ideas of womanhood at the expense of actual living people who are not threatens in the first place. Their ideology and tactics are indefensible, so they’d rather we talk about the merits and drawbacks of counter-tactics, like punching oppressors. The bullying is overlooked and the focus is on the victims’ response to bullying. Victims are scrutinized for being less than perfect, but the bullies are not under any such scrutiny. Instead of playing into their victim narratives, we should stay focused on their tactics and goals: to deny trans people healthcare (trans-specific and otherwise), to bar us from public space, to harass us, and to terrorize us.

TERF arguments are predicated on the false idea of a monolithic womanhood that trans women aren’t women because they don’t “live as” women and they have a “male experience.” but what is a “female experience”? The experience TERFs refer to is white, cis, and middle class; the experience of a citizen, of people who have access to respectability, and in the UK, access to national media platforms. There is no universal experience of womanhood; suggestions otherwise mimic racist rhetoric which positions the experience of whiteness as “default” and “authentic” and “normal” while people of color are dehumanized and their experiences are “special interest”.Many TERFs hate butch cis women for “role-playing” masculinity, but also hate very feminine women for”performing” for the male gaze.

Lesbian TERFs exclude trans women from their spaces and their analyses of feminism, lesbianism, and womanhood. Lesbian TERFs sometimes exclude trans men as gender traitors; others fetishize them as butches who need saving from being “transed,” erasing and ignoring their genders as men. TERFs sometimes trawl trans message boards looking for young trans men to groom, feeding into insecurities AFAB trans people have about abandoning womanhood and being bad feminists.

TERFs are terrified that trans women are men seeking not only to “co-opt” the struggles of women, but to gain access to women’s spaces and, most terrifyingly of all, to deceive and fuck them as lesbians. This is essentially gay panic; they are absolutely horrified at the possibility of being attracted to a trans woman because it would undermine their status as the bastion of lesbian separatist feminists, being attracted to someone they incorrectly consider a “man.”

TERFs say that the “trans lobby” refuses to acknowledge the difference between trans women and cis women, which is ironic because trans people are quick to talk about how being trans greatly affects our experiences of patriarchy, sexism, and gender. Trans people are acutely aware of the biological differences between us and cis people; that’s a huge part of why many of us medically transition. Trans people aren’t trying to “erase” biological differences, we’re trying to secure our basic rights, and highlight shared struggles when we talk about activism and justice. Trans people not only belong in feminism; we are leading it.

*[idk why he repeats these things in this paragraph either; think it may just’ve been an oversight]