#so behind on content for school
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HIIII LOVELY I HOPE UR DOING OKAY 🫶🫶🫶
HEYYY, I’M DOING WELL (i’m dying) ❤️❤️❤️
how are YOU tho?? i haven’t been on tumblr for a good week ‘cause of exams, revision, classes, etc. before i knew it, october’s here and my birthday’s like 2 days away now 😟
and that meant not reading anything anyone’s sent to me so now i’m in a hurry trying to respond to everyone 💀
#saw ur user and got excited#i wish i could just sit on tumblr without procastrinating about the time i’ve lost i could’ve been studying with#but i can’t :/#so behind on content for school#i have an EXAM on my 18th birthday 🤨#but anyway#hopefully with rhe half term coming up#i can spend some more time#writing#for you guys#look at 1l-ynn making sure i’m still alive for you guys#go thank her rn 😐#*cricket noises*#but i’m well and alive and on the verge of death but still alive!#thank you 1l ynn <3
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Catching up on the whole watcher situation because I ironically stopped watching their channel regularly because I didn’t like how expensively produced their shows were compared to Buzzfeed Unsolved’s simplicity
#i didn’t have a problem with them changing the way they did things or anything#like it made sense that they would want to have a significant departure from their Buzzfeed style after leaving Buzzfeed#i just didn’t like it as much#so i would only watch occasionally if i needed something to listen to in the background#the fact that they are now trying to put their content behind a paywall#because production is so expensive#is wild to me#like imo the production actively made the show less enjoyable#why are you spending money you don’t have on it???#idk it just makes me sad#like i know the YouTube documentarians i watch are probably going to end up doing videos on this#usually with those videos i’m the one from the outside looking in on some drama around a person i’ve never heard about before#but i was a fan of ryan and shane since high school#I have some of their Buzzfeed unsolved merch#it’s sad that people i looked up to turned out to be so out of touch on so many levels#watcher
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CT Weird Route Sketches and Behind the Scenes! 😜
MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW ;)
Oh, you’ve decided to join me? Wonderful!
Excuse the Mess! Some of these are a little... corrupted? HmmNah. I'm sure it's just how I exported them ;)))
It's hard making a comic. Tons of deleted content, cut dialogue, and entire storylines scrapped forever! It can be a blood, sweat, and tears situation, but I truly enjoyed making the Weird Route!
It was a nice departure of the main story (which is quite mild). Plus if I started feeling art/writing block, I could just work on the other route.
There is A LOT of cut content of Kris and CHara talking. I wanted to keep things condensed, so I kept the pages to a minimum.
I was quite unsure how to END the route. But I knew I wanted Chara to take the full brunt of you... The READER. Chara's promise to Kris, about getting rid of you, was very intentional.
At first I thought it would be a fun idea for Chara to just make the game "no fun" after you possessed them... but I realized this allowed for potentially more story🗿🗿. I did not want that. So after a few GRUELING MONTHS, I finally realized Chara would not be going anywhere. No happy ending :/ Sorry Chara...
I planned on keeping Asriel completely absent. But as I finished, I felt in my gut the end was too lonely. Too isolating. The second I drew Asriel in, I knew it was the right decision. He snapped Chara out of it and allowed for a softer approach to the ending. They both really do complete the narrative together.
FUN FACTS! (wowie)
Chara clutches their chest because their SOUL hurts when you posses them
Humans are capable of magic, but it is almost always physical. This may result in terrible consequences if used wrongly.
Chara likes chocolate
Chara only talks about their past life with Asriel. It is unknown if they remember the events of Undertale with Frisk.
Asriel is talking about Dess when he brings up his late girlfriend. It is implied he feels responsible for her supposed death.
Possessed characters will speak in Undertale text (usually. My own consistency is shaky lol)
#CT behind the scenes#Yay. I know the main route is far from done -W- but I like posting CT stuff. Plus I'v been needing a break from the comic...again...#Im starting school... and I've developed some carpel tunnel syndromes because I've been drawing too much... so YA🗿��.. I need an art break#art#my art#sketches#cut content#deltarune comic#deltarune#bread#deltarune chara timeline#posting about the comic helps me feel more ready to draw and allows me to find the grit I need#plus I loved this route sm oh my god. I forgot how much I love doing comic horror!#Im hoping to do a fully rendered drawing for October/Halloween :)))#i’m gonna go pass out now
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Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?
#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind#fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once#god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit#oughhhhh#even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio#which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed#now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable#and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame#features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral#and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP#even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh#not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk#if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me#and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired#unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more#why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers#there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place#and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things.#maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either#I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time#but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy#it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care.#I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife
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OHHH EEMM GEEENYERRR A PROSHIPPER??? OMG OH NOOOUEEESS. GRODYYYYY EEUUGGHHH SORRY I ONLY ENGAGE WITH ✨GOOD CHRISTAN NORMAL CONTENT✨ AND YET ACTIVELY SEEK OUT PEOPLE WHO DON'T AGREE WITH MEEEE. YUUUCCK (this is what I think aggressive anti's sound like. Bro I'm so sorry you gotta put up with absolute bullshit 💀the whole argument is stupid. The "if you're not with us, you're with them" mentality makes it hard to get any compromising done when literally nobody listens to each other. Vastly infuriating.)
I KNOW RIGHT ITS SOOOO STUPID YEURGH
“Hey guys due to personal reasons I don’t label myself or participate in this discourse so please leave me out of it because all I want to do is write my fanfic and have fun with friends.”
“Ok we are labeling you as A NEUTRAL (basically just a SECRET PROSHIPPER) and you are GETTING PUT ON OUR CALLOUT BLOG!!!!!! GUYS BEWARE THIS GUY SHE PICKED HER NOSE YESTERDAY!!!!!!!”
Me when I’m in a being really weird and not knowing how to just leave other people alone competition and my opponent is all the guys who think this is somehow the correct course of action
#ask lorel#lightyearssurrogatedaddy#there’s nothing wrong with wanting to curate your internet experience#or know who actively makes problematic content so you can avoid it#and be comfortable#but it’s like. when half the people there actively dislike problematic things#it’s clearly not a curating list#it’s a ‘these people are freaks because they don’t have the exact same opinion as us’ list#literal middle school bullying 😭😭#I know there’s like a formal callout blog now or something??? idk I don’t really care LMAO#but if I get put on it as someone who genuinely needs to be avoided I will PEE#guys beware of lorel she ermmmm i saw her sell me crack behind the walgreens!!!!! AAAA!!!!!
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I cannot stay at this job for a second longer than I have to this sucks so bad holy shit
#ember talks#my supervisor keeps saying she wants to bring me on as a contractor after the internship ends and I have no way of telling her uh#respectfully I do not think I’d live through the semester if I did that#it’s not even grueling work I just hate the content and the company culture is a funeral at best#I can do corpo culture w layoffs or I can look at photos of necropsies for 8 hours a day#I can’t do both but I have to this summer#especially with the continued assumption I’m cis and straight and neurotypical in such a weirdly aggressive way#I have a presentation that I’ve been putting off building the slide deck for bc I just. I don’t know how to spin my project#it’s basically a grunt labor project but I’m qualified enough to speak to the principles behind it#but I was told to not talk abt the principles#or about what an archive is#and I got flack for not working 20 extra unpaid hours last week but there’s no way for me to do that without getting fired#I hate it so fucking much I’m so tired#I’m so tired of being tired#I know every job is going to suck but at least the other ones don’t have me staring at viscera trying to figure out how I can upload it#I know I should feel fortunate to have this job but I’m just lying on the floor sobbing rn#I’ve been working since 6:30 this morning I should just. stop#log the fuck off give the fuck up try again next week#(Monday I have an interview for a hopefully chiller job in the fall and I’m very excited for it tbh)#the team seems cool and it’s . idk it’ll be something I can live with doing#and I can work my other school year gig and I miss that team so much and they said they missed me too and#god I just rly wanna work full time at the library I work at during the year
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trying to connect the watcher bullshit with the way media companies on YouTube have regularly failed. Can’t figure out how to be coherent yet but ohhhh boy when I do.
#I just find it really interesting to see parallels like#mainly got a triangle of like#bdg with polygon#Shane and Ryan at buzzfeed#and the after hours crew at cracked (+maybe cody Johnston)#just people who attracted a lot of audience to a channel that probably had too much staff and was transitioning from like#pop culture and comedy websites to YouTube style content#plus college humor too but they diversified enough that dropout is now stable and successful#but I feel like soooo many of these companies just put so much stake in the fact that they have popular people#and then either behind the scenes stuff makes them make terrible decisions or lay people off or whatever#and then it fails#figured buzzfeed wouldn’t last after Ryan and Shane left because of what happened with cracked#again that was more a lay offs thing then people going independent but still#idk it’s just something I’ve thought about since like. middle school because of how long stuff like this has been happening#someone can probably articulate it better but#I’d love to learn more about how business decisions interact with YouTube when you have like A Crew instead of one or two people#behind a channel
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You know, I've held for a long time the belief that canon!Denise eventually surpasses Sylvia and is just a notch above her in terms of battle prowess despite being younger. But the more I think about it the more I realize Paldea!Denise blows Sylvia out of the WATER with how strong she is to the point it's not even a contest
#mel's musings#forest for the tree#little songbird#first of all. dena started 3 years younger in this au. she got her sprigatito at 15 whilst syl got oshawott at 18#she's got FIVE rivals as opposed to syl's three. one of whom has a reputation for being a battle maniac#(honestly. nemona alone does wonders for dena's growth as a trainer but I'VE STILL GOT MORE)#dena literally has battle studies on her academic record and has studied at two different schools for it#she's fluent in both singles and doubles strategies and beaten elite and champion ranked trainers in both playstyles#plus she's got 4 legendaries AND access to terastallization. syl would get WASHED#to be fair to her though. she certainly would not go down without a fight#she's got 2 legendaries herself plus a mega gardevoir she can communicate telepathically with#and she's significantly more adaptable than dena when her strategies don't go as planned. whereas dena tends to get boxed in her mind a bit#meaning if she manages to catch her off guard it's even possible she could pull a win from her in some circumstances#but after she spent so long wearing herself into the dirt gaining the strength she needed to beat team plasma#and trying her best to live up to everyone's expectations for her as the hero of truth (to say NOTHING of her expectations for herself)?#she's just not the grinding type anymore. she's simply content to live out her life with her beloved pokemon#and if she gets stronger as a side effect of that then cool! but it's not her main focus and she wants to keep it that way#paldea!denise was never forced into getting stronger the way syl was. and she's less beholden to others' expectations in general#and having that agency means her natural inclination to gain knowledge and grow isn't stunted by feeling like it's her only option#so she doesn't have the same reservations about striving for strength as her cousin. but that's not to say she's inherently better for it#point is. both girls had different circumstances behind how they got to where they are and the struggles they faced along the way#but regardless of that they're both content with where they ended up. they're living their best lives and that's what matters#sobs. they're so everything ;_;
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Yuka Shiraishi. btw.
#she has 20 lines at most but i love her#i'd really like for an 5 to have more yuka content... especially since ken is training vbs#ken is working them rough which for people surrounding vivid street (or at least vbs) would seem tough but understandable#but yuka is an outsider. yuka is a caring mother who still supports her daughter and her friends despite not growing up in vivid street#yuka would possibly consider this too much for the moment and try to get them to relax#and. i really want the current vbs arc to end with them relaxing a little#i don't think they'll go straight from “we're surpassing rad weekend and carrying nagi's wish”#to “we're tying ourselves down to this one event when we could go even further”#but they could definitely recognise “we're still kids we have time”#and yuka could be the one to bring that up. radder were all adults when rad weekend happened. vbs are in their second year of high school#and they're talented. so incredibly talented. kohane showed that at crawl green. akito finally realises his growth in his 4th event#toya has just came to terms with his classical music background and draws from it to write songs for the group#and an has had years of experience singing. except she also holds herself back in her want to be line nagi#which i'm almost certain will be addressed in her 5th event. and with yuka being the one who comforted an during lutf (in her card)#well. i think it would be nice for her to come back#especially as she is - again - an outsider to vivid street. she could represent how vbs can go beyond vivid street#another possibility is kohane's father. he sort of just disappeared after sdsc (at least i recall akito and an mentioning meeting him?)#and considering the impact he has on kohane (photography and his doubts regarding her sudden change in early game)#it could be nice seeing him again since with kohane/akito/toya seemingly reaching the end of a current arc in the last year#(ie the kohane and taiga plot/akito no longer feeling like he's behind the others/toya and classical music)#the next step in the group's story could be happening#half of this has nothing to do with yuka fjrjdiejd. i just like the concept of her being the group's link to going outside of vivid street#or going beyond is suppose. beyond the way...#bagel's rambles#i'm on break. watch me draw yuka design
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how are you doing are you good good good that you are good
#im alive i promise school and work is just kicking my ass#im getting to do v cool things tho and im excited#i will respond to asks and requests eventually im hoping this weekend but we'll see#bee buzzes#im also so behind on dnp content its not even funny i miss my boys#also tumblr desktop looks horrible which isnt helping#i went to work for the summer and i came back to them redecorating my house smh
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disordered eating content in the tags skip it if it’s no bueno :-)
#tmi disordered eating content but#sure would love to be able to take a day off laxatives#and would love to be able to eat a meal and not get rid of it#just realised this has been happening mostly on the daily for like two and a half years#it’s so insane it’s so insane#full of shame about every inch of myself + my life#there is so much that needs to change and probably only therapy is going to do it but to do therapy i need a job#and to get a job i need to be able to face myself on a regular basis but to do that i need therapy#the cycle is endless and it always ends with me feeling like#purely logically speaking#that kms is just smart business#like it just makes sense from a practical perspective#there’s no feeling behind it i’m fine i’m safe etc etc#think it’s just a weird get out of jail free card in my head leftover from being so soupy-sidle all through high school#anyways. as aforementioned the endless cycle is endless and a cycle so things will keep on keeping on :-)#ed cw#personal
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The big scam that is the german education system .-.
At least for me with my whole career education in the design and IT direction. There went way more effort and money in this than what it’s worth on the (international) market. It pisses me off but I try to stay
#because germany is behind everything especially digitally#and entertainment trends#so your education is as basic as it can get but all the companies want you to be big professional in 3 different jobs right after school#and that's why I basically have 3 degrees#trying to finish my 4th#and I still feel like I know nothing about the stuf that's needed in the industry#most relevant things I had to teach myself beyond classes#but yea it's so super important that I know engineering math when I want to become a designer & content creator in entertainment
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Here we go week of shoots!
The week ahead will be a good taste of life in the industry post graduation.
Day 1, we’re shooting an action sequence project for school. We’ve set our call time for 8am on location with the hope to wrap by 2 or 3pm and save us all from trying to fight with the light. I’ll be part of the direction/DP/continuity team for this half of the sequence.
Day 2, half the team is gathering to rehearse the fight scenes for the second part of the sequence. The forecast is calling for rain, so we’ll be in holding on a final decision for location of our shoot on day 3 until the evening.
Day 3, we’ll be shooting the second half of the action sequence. Thankfully, I get to step back a bit on responsibilities for this section as the other half of our team will be taking on the high stress roles while my partner and I function as their crew. Hoping we’ll wrap earlier in the day for this one, too, but I don’t think they’ve finalized their call time yet. (I must remember to read the script for the next project before bed on this day!)
Day 4, I begin night shoots on a short film! I’m tasked with picking up some actors and crew to drive to location for a 4pm call time, so I’ll have to disrupt my sleep schedule a bit to be able to function through this one. I’ll be a PA (production assistant) for a crew I’ve not worked with before, but who are doing some pretty cool things. I’m excited! Hoping we’ll wrap before 4am so I can get some sleep in between, but not holding my breath. Public transit likely won’t be running by the time we wrap, so my driving responsibilities will include dropping everyone in my car at their homes.
Day 5, will be the second day of night shooting, this time in a different city at a secondary location. Again, pickups. Again, drop offs. Again, hoping for a decent wrap time.
Day 6, all I’m presuming I will want to do is sleep. Which is great, because I’ve got to be back in class at 8am on Monday morning.
Prepared to run on a weeks worth of adrenaline, lack of sleep, and catered food. And the reminder to myself that this really is what I want to do, in some capacity.
#film and television production life#decided this week that the best way forward to combine the things I love and excel at and make#decent money is to train for script supervision once I finish school#so I keep trying that out on projects#an industry guest in class last week saw me doing my meticulous notes and told me#I’d make a really good scripty#which made me so happy soooooo 🤞🏻#weeks like this also lead to falling terribly behind on social media and with my duolingo streak#personal#as long as none of these days are 16 hours long I’ll be content#looking at you previous industry shoot….#not sure anyone actually cares about my production life stories but I like documenting
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you make my cry and sniffle and stare into space with the most pained look on my face i love you
HIGHESTTTT compliment thank u so much octopuscross I’ll continue to torture u to the best of my abilities
#trying to make time to make more edgy hetalia content#but I’m so behind in school it’s not even funny#asks
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NO SERIOUSLY. I MISS THESE. WHAT THE FUCK. WHERE IS MY SECOND DISK OF SPECIAL FEATURES. MY DIRECTORS COMMENTARY. MY THEATRICAL TRAILERS?
if it weren't for special features on DVDs i *genuinely* would not be on the path I am now. Some Studio Ghibli disks have a special feature called "storyboard mode" where the original animatic of the animation is played instead of the finished movie. That's what inspired me to want to be an animator! That's what lit that fire! Kids today are LOSING that! Give us the DVDs back! Give us back Xtra-Vision and Blockbuster and video rental stores!
And you can't even rely on a streaming service for movies because they can be removed at any time. I have my own collection of DVDs because of this fact. I have films you can't get on streaming over here because of whatever the fuck reasons. I have six disks of tobey's spider-man films; 3 film features, 3 special features. I have A Silent Voice. School of Rock. I have Into The Spider-Verse with a director's commentary. I have the Care Bears movie from 1985! KEEP YOUR MEDIA PHYSICAL. That way it can't be taken away for bullshit reasons.
the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features
#i know dvds are still being made and all but its mostly blu-rays and i dont have a blu-ray player#Look. DVDs are being erased. TVs dont have a disc slot. They have fewer hdmi and av points#My new laptop for school doesn't have a disc slot!#If you want to watch a dvd now there are extra steps this is what im saying#you need to buy a cable and buy a dvd player and THEN watch it#before you could stick a disc in damn near anything#and dvds are so much less...personable#they used to be bonus features- games#trailers and blooper reels and interviews and shorts and everything#directors commentaries and deleted scenes too#it used to have its own seperate disc! because it was so much it wouldnt fit alongside the movie on the disc!#now were lucky to get what#maybe the theatrical trailer#or an interview with some actors#the directors commentary is a lot harder to find than it was#and deleted scenes? forget it#i dont think ill ever see a disc with a storyboard feature again either. this is what we mean#theyre still being made sure. but not as mainstream#which makes it less convenient for a lot of people. plus the PRICES. my god#a dvd new is like MINIMUM £10. places like CEX keep a lot of discs behind counter#so you cant check for damage like scratches before buying it#and the rental placed are gone.#we used to bring dvds into school and vote on what one to watch. i dont think that happens anymore#the rise of streaming services has mostly erased the need for physical media#even thiugh the streaming services have far less content than video rentals stores did#and the content gets switched between serviceds regularly#and you need good wifi for it even.#there's no streaming service I can use to watch the step up movies#or to watch like... danny phantom#so dvds and ...*alternative*. streaming sites are where it is for me
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do you have any ideas about why so many students are struggling with literacy now? I know that illiteracy and reading comprehension have been issues for years and most americans read at like a 5th grade reading level but I’m curious why it seems to be worse now (pandemic? no child left behind?)
It is everything. There’s not one answer. I could talk about this forever so instead I set a five minute timer on my phone and wrote a list of as many of the many things that are causing this on a systemic level that I could think of:
It’s parents not reading with their kids (a privilege, but some parents have that privilege to be able to do this and don’t.)
It’s youtube from birth and never being bored.
It’s phasing out phonics for sight words (memorizing without understanding sounds or meaning) in elementary schools in the early aughts.
It’s defunding public libraries that do all the community and youth outreach.
It’s NCLB and mandating standardized tests which center reading short passages as opposed to longform texts so students don’t build up the endurance or comprehension skills.
It’s NCLB preventing schools from holding students back if they lack the literacy skills to move onto the next grade because they can’t be left behind so they’re passed on.
It’s the chronic underfunding of ESL and Special Ed programs for students who need extra literacy support.
It’s the cultural devaluing of the humanities in favor of stem and business because those make more money which leads to a lot of students to completely disregard reading and writing.
It’s the learning loss from covid.
It’s covid trauma manifesting in a lot of students as learned helplessness, or an inability to “figure things out” or push through adversity to complete challenging tasks independently, especially reading difficult texts.
It’s covid normalizing cheating and copying.
It’s increasing phone use.
It’s damage to attention span exacerbated by increased phone use that leaves you without an ability to sit and be bored ever without 2-3 forms of constant stimulation.
It’s shortform video becoming the predominant form of social media content as opposed to anything text-based.
It’s starting to also be generative AI.
It’s the book bans.
what did I miss.
#i’m not immune to any of this. I’m trying to read more. it’s good for me#I think that the literacy crisis is a manufactured result of a lot of different policy choices because it creates an exploitable underclass
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